Watch What Crappens - #2462 RHONJ S14E07: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

This week on Real Housewives of New Jersey (S14E07), Tre’s housewarming gift worms its way over to the Gorga household.  Plus, Marge and Jackie’s relationship reaches a new low.&nbsp...; Watch this recap on video  and listen to all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You know we love any excuse to watch great reality TV, so with the weather heating up while chartering a luxury yacht might be a little out of reach, we can still get our fix by binge watching all seasons and spin-offs of Below Deck available on HeyU. The first all-reality subscription service of its kind, HeyU gives you access to every episode and every season of a wide range of captivating reality TV franchises. Plus, you can watch brand new episodes available the same day they air in the US without ads. It's pretty awesome. And if you're looking for a new series to dive into, Below Deck is the perfect choice.
Starting point is 00:00:38 Tune in for a fresh yachty drama on brand new episodes of Below Deck Mediterranean airing now. And once you're hooked, revisit classic seasons of all the franchises, including Below Deck Sailing Yacht, Adventure, and Down Under, all available on HeyU. You know that we've watched every single episode of Below Deck. We have not only watched them, we've talked about them endlessly.
Starting point is 00:00:57 We obsess over them. Below Deck is so good, and it is such a amazing source of petty, petty drama. If you're not watching it, you're really missing out. Slide into summer with Below Deck, new episodes airing now. Watch all seasons and spin-offs of Below Deck on HeyU. That's H-A-Y-U dot com. Look out, Canadian listeners.
Starting point is 00:01:20 This one's for you. Coho is a MasterCard with an easy-to-use app that makes managing your finances easier. Coho lets you earn cash back, borrow, build your credit history, and so much more. Join over one million Canadians and sign up for your free trial today. Download Coho on Google or App Store today, or koho.ca for more details.
Starting point is 00:01:43 Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbasto.ca for more details. Plus, for any basketball fans out there, get a $75 e-gift card for nbastore.ca when you sign up with the promo code, koho75. That's code K-O-H-O-75. She was a romance mystery writer. They gloomed on the fact that she writes stories like this. There are murders in all of the books. From Wondery, the makers of Ghost Story, and Feta, this is a story about a murder that
Starting point is 00:02:08 rocked my little community. Binge all episodes of Happily Never After ad-free right now on Wondery+. Hello and welcome to Watch Raw Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? How's it going? Look at you, new background, new room. I am now in Los Angeles and I'm in this little bottom garage apartment thing of where I'm living, and I have not had time to beautify. I got my computer set up, my little studio for this, but I sound
Starting point is 00:03:12 a little echoey because there's not shit in here, okay? And so I'm very echoey. I feel like I'm in a terrorist video, like being held hostage or something, except for that cute little Home Goods lamp behind me, and also that beautiful, friendly tree that my friend gave me named Benoony Bondolini. It's very cute, bringing me a lot of love, but I already got my Topo Chico, I got some water, I got my notes going for my jersey, so I think I'm ready to rumble, guys. Well, it's appropriate that we're talking Real Housewives of New Jersey today and that you do have that cute little plant behind you I got you that plant as a housewarming gift and I did not need
Starting point is 00:03:50 Rachel Fuda to deliver it for me nor that I need Dolores I was able to give it directly to you and I feel very happy about that. But today's episode a large part of it is About a housewarming gift that is neither warm nor is it a house. It's very controversial. Controversial. They need to warm that house more as in burn it to the ground. Um, although they did improve it a whole lot. They definitely when it was, uh, originally built, cause when it was originally
Starting point is 00:04:21 built, the internet bullied Melissa and Joe into basically redoing it. I mean, they tore off the entire top half of it. Yeah. And redid it because it was so hideous looking. And it was just like a regular kind of, um, past the trend farmhouse, uh, beyond the trend farmhouse style, which, you know, is fine. I did think it was funny that it's a lemon party though, and they had to redo that lemon. So I thought that was pretty good. That is funny. It's a good theme. That is actually a very good point. Yeah, I thought the house looked actually really good.
Starting point is 00:04:50 They definitely improved the front. They used to have this horrific, like, portico or something that when you would walk into the front door, it looked strange. The roof line was really weird, lots of weird little triangles. It was a disaster. But it looked good, and I actually thought it looked good. was really weird, lots of weird little triangles. It was a disaster, but it looked good. And I actually thought it looked pretty good
Starting point is 00:05:10 on the inside too. So, you know. Well done guys. They turned the lemon into lemonade for sure. They sure did. And they act very touristy. Like they're having a lemon party, limoncello party. And they're very, I was just over there, you know,
Starting point is 00:05:27 as you know, and it was kind of like those little towns, just tourist towns where everything's lemons. And they say things like, whoa, we're in Italy, limoncello, whoa, we're in Italy, you got some grappa? Yeah, because we's in Italy. I'm like, yeah, you're such tourists. You're such tourists to your own family's culture. So embarrassed for you. I was very late in life to associating lemons with Italy. Like when I say late in life, I think I was like 38. I think it was only like four years ago that I realized like lemons were an Italian thing. I always thought it was tomatoes, tomatoes and basil,
Starting point is 00:06:05 mozzarella, but I thought like things that grow in nature. It's tomatoes and basil. I was like, that's Italy. Lemons, I just didn't even, I just thought lemons were just, everyone has lemons, but yeah, lemons are. More like tomatoes too. Well, yeah, but like, I feel like Italy is all about like, tomatoes, like the tomatoes, like you gotta make red sauce,
Starting point is 00:06:23 tomato sauce, tomatoes are better than Italy. And I really didn't realize that lemons were such a big deal. I think, I wonder if it was like Dorit Kemsley herself who opened my eyes as she created her capri room in Bucco di Beppo. Oh yeah, you know, that's Dorit educating people about multiple cultures and one personality day by day, you know? So let's get to this episode, shall we? Oh, by the way, we are doing a Game of Thrones podcast called Winter is Crappening. That comes out, fresh episodes, Monday nights on Winter
Starting point is 00:06:58 is Crappening, that feed. And then the crappens gets, not the crappins, but watch what crappins will get those on their feed like Wednesday-ish. So go subscribe to the feed, all right? Listen to Winter is Crappining, House of the Dragon recap season two. You can also find all of season one if you want to listen to that. We have a really good time with that show. It's our little break from Bravo. And if you want this on video, come to Patreon.
Starting point is 00:07:21 It's also where you get all of our bonus episodes, lots of good ones lately, so go check that out. And now, oh, if you're looking for the below deck from last week, it's on Patreon. Sometimes that happens when we've got too much. So let's get on with this one, Ben. What do you think? You're a fucking loser? Drug dealer? You know who he's fucking with? The wrong Teresa Giudice. How many of you were in the phone book? I know. I was about to say that. Is there, is there a correct Teresa judice? You should have told that to the judge many years ago and they maybe would have avoided some jail time.
Starting point is 00:07:52 You got the wrong one. I'm actually Teresa judice from Patterson, not Teresa judice from Franklin links. Yeah. You going, you, you looking for Teresa judice. I'm Teresa judice and Teresa judice a cuz I'm French like You are the poster child for mortgage fraud that's John Fuda's big burn and when I need my money blundered I'll call ya. Huh money laundry. That was my husband. Thank you very much Thank you very much. Fucker, fucker, loser, drug, drug, drug dealer. Ha ha. Um, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:28 So first of all, John Food is really bad at fighting. I know he thinks like he's a big badass, like coming in to scream at a woman and everything, but he kind of sucks at it. You're basically complimenting her and you're in Jersey. I think when you're like, Hey, you know what? When I need my money laundered. Wait, I'm having a James Kennedy moment. Do you hear that plane overhead?
Starting point is 00:08:47 No, I don't. There's a big planes going overhead. That's what I get for making fun of James Kennedy all season. But anyway, you're living in Jersey. When you compliment somebody's money laundering skills, aren't you just helping them at the end of the day? I mean, it's like actually really nice. So thanks, John Foote. Yeah, it's like a free advertisement. You're just bringing business of the day. I mean, it's like actually really nice. So thanks, John Fooder.
Starting point is 00:09:05 Yeah, it's like a free advertisement. You're just bringing business to the family. Yeah, yeah. You just might as well tell everyone, might as well tell everyone in Tenafly that there's a new laundry in town. So Teresa's like, you got the wrong one. And Teresa, then she turns to Louie going,
Starting point is 00:09:20 he's making a big, big, big, big, big mistake. He's fucking with the wrong Theresa. Julie. And Rachel's like, you know what, John, we're not taking that gift to Joe cause we don't work for her. So you, you can leave that bottle, a blue label. We're going to say blue label 30 times in this episode. It's a very, very important distinction, but we are going to leave that bottle a blue label
Starting point is 00:09:45 on the bar. Don't take it, John. Don't take it for Teresa. Don't take it, John. Leave it right there, John. Leave it right there. Yeah. He's not going to want that.
Starting point is 00:09:53 You know what? Deal's a deal. I wanted an apology. That wasn't an apology. I'm like, well, you also stuck around for like all of five seconds so you couldn't even get to what could have been an apology to be fair. And he goes, if it was a real apology, it would have been sincere. Good. Yeah. Well, yes. And she's like,
Starting point is 00:10:14 did you notice that Louis didn't even say a word? Did you notice, John, Louis didn't say a word. John, did you notice? He was going to let Teresa bury herself? Like, no, I think he was just scared shitless. I think that's what it was. Then upstairs cause Louie and Teresa are still sitting at their table. Like I think they still think that the food is, are going to come back. What you think Louie was scared of what John everything. I think Louie's a scared. He's scared. He's scared. I don't think Louie was scared. I think Teresa told Louie, I'm gonna handle this.
Starting point is 00:10:46 You shut up, I can deal with him. Because she's sick of people calling Louie abusive or whatever, whatever they're calling him. So I think she's like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna do this. And then, you know, Teresa, the way Teresa fights, she's like, I'll just go in there and call him gay a lot. Because last week you asked me what Fagazi was. Fagazi is fake. I had to learn it from the internet, okay? Just like
Starting point is 00:11:08 you learned about lemons from Dorit. I learned about Fagazi from some dude on YouTube who's like, I'll teach you Italian things. Fagazi. I got my wife a purse, but it was only $10 and it was spelled channel instead of Chanel. I think that it's Fagazi." That's his thing. So I learned that from him. But then a listener said, no, that's Fagazi. She sang Fagazi because he's gay, because he had dildos in his butt. That's the rumor for the year. So I'm glad Teresa could get a little homophobia in there. That's nice. We've been lacking this season on Real Housewives in New Jersey, there needed to be a little more homophobia. And I thought that there really... During Pride Month.
Starting point is 00:11:48 The chance obviously was when we found out about the double dildo in the first place and I was like, how are there not more gay jokes? This is Jersey, why do I watch this on Pride Month if not for the gay jokes? And we were missing them. So thanks, Teresa. Yeah. Well, that's great. That's a great way to celebrate pride. So, um, uh, so Louie's, but the other thing is that with Louie being quiet, Louie's whole thing is that he just wants peace. I just want to make peace. I want to move on with our lives. So the fact that he doesn't even say anything, he doesn't even try to,
Starting point is 00:12:18 to create a bridge between everything means that to me, a he's fake when he talks about wanting to make peace. But also I think he's scared. He's scared of Teresa. I think he's scared of John. I think he's scared of Rachel. I think he's like, he's scared. So, uh, he's like, I can't believe I gave 20 seconds of my time. He's over here with all these quote unquote standards banging down the table. You know, he always has a lot to say when people leave, by the way, he always talks so tough. The moment people leave by the way He always talks so tough the moment people leave but then whenever he's confronted, he's always like, oh, yeah Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:12:49 Yeah, you say those things fine, but but then like when he's when they're gone He's like I should have I was this close to punching him in the face I almost took out my I almost took out my machete and chopped his head off man I was so tough at that moment I don't know we saw him yelling and screaming at people all last reunion and doing all of that. So, I don't know. I don't know what his deal is, but I'll tell you this, he is staying purple. Sometimes he's loud, sometimes he's quiet. His face is always purple. Whatever's happening, his blood pressure is still going. That's for damn sure. So, Teresa's like,
Starting point is 00:13:21 yeah, he didn't want to address it. He put that lie out there about you. Okay, so then we found out what this lie was. So this lie supposedly is, last year at the reunion, when John brought that Manila envelope, it was supposedly proof that Louis had a private investigator talk to his ex-wife in prison. So that's the big rumor. But then Louis bragged about hiring a private investigator talk to his ex wife in prison. Okay. So that's the big rumor. But then Louie bragged about hiring a private investigator to investigate everybody.
Starting point is 00:13:49 So I don't understand why that's such a kick in the nuts to Teresa and Louie. Yeah, I don't understand either. Well, I mean, the thing is this, what, at the end of the day, this is a sit down for Teresa to apologize for going out and blabbing that John for Teresa to apologize for going out and blabbing that John Fuda was a drug dealer and like leafily telling everyone that he takes dildos up the butt and all this stuff. And Teresa and Louie have now turned it into like, but what about the lies you told about us? And it's like, listen, I mean, this whole situation is so stupid,
Starting point is 00:14:22 but like ostensibly you're here to be apologizing for your bad behavior that you had at that party. And the fact it's classic Teresa and Louie that they would turn it into a like, but now you have to apologize to us too. Right. So she's like, he's a wannabe gangsta. Cause to Teresa that's like the word, like she would actually have respect for him if he was a gangster, which is why I'm saying like just take the title. I mean, biggest drug dealer in New Jersey is a hard title to get. A lot of people are competing for that title. Take it. Be proud. Also, by the
Starting point is 00:14:55 way, Theresa needs to be consistent because she goes to a party and she spreads rumors that he was a drug dealer. Like, Oh, look at him. He was a drug dealer. And now she's like holding it against him that he actually wasn't a drug dealer. Like, Oh, he's a wannabe. It's like, what do you want him to be? She had more respect for him when he was a drug dealer. Do you want to malign him for having a criminal past or do you want to celebrate him for, for being a criminal? I can't tell. Yeah. That's the sad part is that she, that he's not a drug dealer. She's like, what a loser, you know, he's a figure.
Starting point is 00:15:29 He left the bottle there on the bond. He doesn't want to bring it to his body. He's messing with the wrong Teresa. He's a hothead like your brother. Hotheads don't end up anywhere, babe. They don't end up anywhere, babe. I'm like, they literally can like hotheads literally wind up ruling countries. That's their damage. So then now we go to speak going from hot to cold. Russia seems fine. You know what I mean? I can't think of any dictators in world history who've been hotheads personally. I think they've all been pretty chill people. who've been hotheads personally. I think they've all been pretty chill people.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Well, actually, yeah. Okay, so then let's see. So now we go to Danielle, who is so hilariously full of herself. I love it. So she's like, fast the week was two days ago and I'm still floating. Let me tell you, I'm high as a kite.
Starting point is 00:16:20 All right, but high as a kite is the best way possible. Not on drugs, you know, I don't know what the deal is anymore. I know what's this who dropped out of the game, am I right? But let me tell you, my full-time job is being a mom, because no matter how many awards I win, or no matter how good my credit gets as a fashion designer, no matter how cute, no matter how, my insane successes that I have, I'm still a mom.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I'm like, your insane successes, you sent a few like pink paper bags down a runway. Yeah. I'm not. In the Bergen County section of whatever civic center they pointed you towards. I still don't, I still need proof that this was actually a fashion week. I really still do not believe it was fashion. Like I don't believe it was part of the official fashion week schedule. So, um, now because her real,
Starting point is 00:17:08 her real full-time job is not being a fashion designer, could have fooled me. Uh, her real full-time job is being a mom. So now as evidence, she and Nate go and wake up the kids, um, for school and Valentina sleeping. It looks like a dog house that's in her bedroom. Like she comes out of like a little door. I was so confused. Also, by the way, the timeline on this show, we forgot to talk about it last week. I'm really confused about what time it is because it looks very sunny. It looks very summery, but every time it cuts to the food is house,
Starting point is 00:17:38 they have a giant Halloween skeleton, like a huge skeleton up in front of their door. Did you notice that? No, I didn't see that. It's like they, it's like, how are the editors so sloppy to take conversations from Halloween and edit them into like late August, early September scenes. And like, it's like, it's fine to do that, but then to include the B roll from that time too. Like, do you guys know you're putting up Halloween B roll during your summer
Starting point is 00:18:04 sequences now? Or is it just that the food is just have a giant skeleton in front of their house all year round? Cause I could actually believe that too. Yeah, I'm not really sure. Um, wait, you're talking about the food is or Danielle, the food is, I just started talking because Danielle's kids are going to school. It sort of seems like they're the, and the implication,
Starting point is 00:18:25 although they never actually say it is that this is the first day of school. Cause they're like, well, it's time to do this. They're like prepping. They're like, Oh God, time to wake up the kids. Like they, the energy is kind of like, well, we're back at it another school year. So in my mind, I created a narrative. I thought it was just a school day. Just how it always says I created this. I created a narrative in my head that it was the beginning of the school year. Well, it should be. Well, fashion week is just a school day. Just always says I created, I created a narrative in my head that it was the beginning of the school year.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Well, it should be. Well, if actually it was just a school day, school days, hell every day. Let me tell you anybody who, I mean, people with the, the people with kids know, I don't have kids. I just know people with kids like my sister, I have nieces and stuff. And whenever it's time to like babysit or whatever and a school day, oh my God, it's always a fucking drama. So begging them to get out of bed. I mean, parents really do go through a lot of shit. It's like, please get out of bed.
Starting point is 00:19:07 What do you want to wear? And they're like, poopy on my face. You know, or like toilet paper. They just want to wear toilet paper on their head. And that's it. You know, it's a little terrorist. It sounds like a true nightmare. Um, and I've got two things to say about it. First and foremost, since last week was New York fashion week episode that happens in September. So yes, this probably was not the beginning of school. School's probably
Starting point is 00:19:29 already started. I just looked it up. September 6th. But that being said, it's definitely not put a giant skeleton in front of your house season unless that's just part of your natural decor. And second of all, speaking of kids, I just want to do a quick interjection because we forgot to also mention this, but we did last week, the and just like Matt podcasts, where, where Ronnie and I went on and talked about sex in the city with Matt McConkie.
Starting point is 00:19:53 And I think we did not mention that here on this podcast. So if you're interested in something like that and the episode we recapped, which the reason why I'm bringing up now is an episode that pertains to children, etc. Go check that out because we had a really fun time and we want to support Matt. That was a fun time. It was a fun show. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. It was the biggest scandal in pop music. The stars of Milli Vanilli, the Grammy winning multi-platinum R&B phenomenon, were exposed as frauds.
Starting point is 00:20:27 But none of this was their idea. So whose idea was it? Enter German music producer Frank Farian. He saw the success of acts like Michael Jackson and Prince, and he wanted in, no matter the cost. So he devised the perfect pop heist. Two once-in-a-lifetime talents who were charismatic, full of sex appeal and phenomenal dancers. The only problem? They couldn't sing. But Frank knew just how to fix that.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Wondery's new podcast, Blame It on the Fame, dives into one of pop music's greatest controversies and takes a never-before-heard look at the exploitation of two young Black artists. Milli Vanilli set the world on fire, but when the truth came out, Rob and Fab were the only ones who got burned. Looking back now, it's hard not to wonder, why did everyone blame them and not the man pulling the strings? Follow Blame It On The Fame, Millie Vanilli on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Blame It On The Fame early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery+. Hey y'all, it's your girl Kiki Palmer, your favorite quadruple threat actor, singer, dancer, and my new role, podcaster.
Starting point is 00:21:30 My podcast, Baby This Is Kiki Palmer, is blowin' up, y'all, because every episode I bring on an icon. Like when John Stamos and I talked about internet trolls hating on Disney adults, or when Jordan Peele explained why we love scary movies, even though the world is already creepy as fuck. Tune in to learn a little and laugh a lot, cause your girl keeps it real. Listen on Wondery Plus.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So did you notice that this kid looks just like Cameron Westcott's kids? I've been wondering who this kid looks like. It's Cameron Westcott's daughter. It's court. Interesting. It looks just like her. It's kids. I've been wondering who this kid looks like. It's Cameron Westcott's daughter. It's Court. It looks just like her. It's weird. It's like Court in a different city. They were like, you know what? The Westcott's are monsters and racists. Let's get rid of them. Loved the kid mocking the mother the whole time. Can we just bring the daughter? Let's just bring the daughter on and just pretend she's somebody else's. Now just point of reference court is actually the husband, not the daughter,
Starting point is 00:22:28 but the daughter's name. I don't remember the daughter's name, but the court looks like the daughter. The daughter looks just like court. Yeah. The Westcott jeans are coming through. Yes. Um, I'm going to have to look next time because I did not notice that, but I'm going to keep an eye out for it. Okay. So, um, she's like, yeah, fast a week with a few days ago, but I'm still flowing. So Valentina doghouse. Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:53 So then we go over to the Gorgha house and Melissa has an assistant. Why? I don't know, but I love it. One expendable income. That just looks amazing. What do you have a kiosk? You have a kiosk that's open like one day a month and you have a fucking assistant. I'm such a loser. Yeah. Well, I don't know why Melissa go or maybe it's because, um, she has to juggle her fashion career with her singing career. And, uh, it requires, it requires some extra hands on deck,
Starting point is 00:23:24 but so many phone calls to not answer. I wonder what they did to her recording studio in the basement of the other home. Like did they convert it into something? Because it's just been, it was there for like 10 years and never seen it again. Hopefully a urinal. The flesh would probably be more on key
Starting point is 00:23:40 than that song was. Although I have to say that was a bop because you know what, even just thinking of it, I can sing it right now. On display, on display, on display, each and every day, every day, every day, everybody's waiting on me too far. People are always waiting on me too far. Well, they can just wait on it, wait on it, wait on it, keep on key, wait on it, wait on it. So, you know what? It's a better song than I give credit to. And I have to also give credit to the guy from their church who wrote it. Remember? Because they found that teenager at church.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Right. Yeah. I mean, a lot of this Housewives music has actually aged pretty well. I mean, Countess the Wann performing in front of like a crowd of thousands in the UK, uh, like two weeks ago. That's wild. People have really come around to it. Like it was, we didn't realize how avant-garde this stuff was. See, we're on the cusp of an artistic movement. Yeah. It's a Simon van Kempen. You're up next. Um, so I don't remember. I can't, van Kempen. You're up next. Um, so, I don't remember. I can't, I can't, I don't remember. I do remember the terrible leather pants, but I don't think Simon and then remember his song. Whereas Melissa,
Starting point is 00:24:54 I think of like, I think of Melissa, I can sing the song. I think of countless land money can buy you class. Kim, um, Zolciak of course. Um, was it Kim's? No, I said, of course. I mean, obviously tardy for the party. Even the ring didn't mean a thing. Yeah. The ring didn't mean a thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wow. By the way, I know we have to talk about New Jersey,
Starting point is 00:25:27 but the ring didn't mean a thing. Still it goes down as one of the funniest ways to troll someone is for how to troll someone who didn't pay you a cut of the song that they've continued to make thousands off of is by then writing them a follow-up song that is so gleefully out of their range that they just are going to sound like a total idiot anytime they try to sing it. Like that is how you troll someone. That girl doesn't have a range. But I'll tell you what a good troll was, was making her go into the studio
Starting point is 00:25:55 and sing that acapella thing. I will never forget when she was not singing acapella, but we couldn't hear the music because the monitors were on and she had earphones on and you just hear her going, whoa, whoa, the ring doesn't mean a thing. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So funny. Okay. So Melissa has an assistant is the point. And,
Starting point is 00:26:26 um, so they're talking about this party she's having. She's like, this is a classy party, Joe. Okay. I don't want that you doing that point shots down people's throat things. Okay. And he's like, we mean classy. Yeah, of course. It's going to be classy. Yeah. What? Okay. Since one of the Gorgas ever thrown a classy party and since why, and since when does this party mandate any sort of classiness?
Starting point is 00:26:51 It's literally like a housewarming party in the, like in the, in the late summer in New Jersey, this is not, I mean, that's, that's it. I don't know. I don't even have to say anything more than that. Like this is a Gorgas party. There's not, there's no reason for it to be classy. Oh, this is, this is not Bridgerton. Okay. This is Melissa Gorgas lemon party. This is not even a bridge.
Starting point is 00:27:13 We go over it. Just them. Then we go over to Marge's house and she's like, Melanie, what are you going to help me make a cheese board? Only you can do this. I mean, is this cheese even good? This cheese is probably disgusting. It looks moldy, but this is just cranberries. It's something to eat it.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Eat the cheese. It's the Jackie Goldschneider of cheeses. It's just moldy and it looks disgusting, but someone likes it. You know what? I was good to this cheese, and look what it's done to me. Moldy's betrayed me. You know who stood up for this cheese since they were born?
Starting point is 00:27:39 Me. I stood up for this cheese ever since it was born. It came out of the cow's udders, and I was like, you're going to be amazing cheese. Have confidence in yourself, cheese. Did you hear this cheese wrote a book and sent the book to Melissa Gorgas of all people. And I still haven't even read the cheese's book. It's awful. Okay. Have a bite, my lady. This cheese is a douche bag. It's a douche. So then we go over to Dolores's house and her mom is there and Valerie and so Dolores is like looking for napkins for her
Starting point is 00:28:07 mom because you know what? I know you're not fancy mom. I know you don't need a nap because no, I'll use my sleeve. It's okay. Dolores. Don't worry. Dolores. I got some cookies in my pocket. I want, I'll wipe my mouth with cookies. Ma the chips Ahoy is making your face dirtier. You got chocolate streaks all over your face. Huh, it's okay. I'll just eat it with another cookie.
Starting point is 00:28:31 What can you do, the Lord? Ma, you taught me how to set a table when we were waitressing, remember? You used to say the twat is looking at ya. She's like, yeah, it worked, didn't it? I don't understand that. Did you understand that when she said that? I read back a few times.
Starting point is 00:28:47 It's like, did she say that? You were taking notes on that. So today we split up notes to where Ben took the first half and I took the second half. And I actually thought, I hope Ben understood that because I think she just said the twat is facing you. I think what they mean is when you fold the napkin, you know how you do the napkin into a triangle and then the triangle folds over and I guess one side of the spine of that napkin looks kind of like a,
Starting point is 00:29:13 I guess a vagina looking back at you now that I think about it. And that must be what they were talking about. Like you face the vagina part out at you. I guess I have no idea. I have no idea. It was just also not what I was expecting. It's not advice I would expect Valerie to give to Dolores. The twats facing you, Dolores. You know, you know, Dolores, the way I always tell you, this is how you arrange your little cherubs you get from the Hallmark store. Make them face it, so that way all their twats are facing you from the cabinet. Also, I love the idea of them waitressing together. I think that's so cute, like a mother and daughter, like being, cause I did that with my mom. My mom ran restaurants and I worked at the,
Starting point is 00:29:57 I never was a waiter though, but we cooked in the kitchen together and that was interesting. But it was really fun. I think that's an important thing to have with the parent. I would love to see them do it. Like, Ma, table 22 still taking time to order. Well, you deserve to know what table 22 wants. What are they going to just make you wait forever, Delores? You have a right to know. Do they want sunny side up? Do they want them hard boiled? You have a right, Delores. I could not think of two more perfect diner waitresses than Delores and Valerie.
Starting point is 00:30:27 They both are such diner waitresses in their own way. Like Valerie, you already over here. You know what you want to get? I can't decide between the egg whites or the salad. Get the egg whites. You'll like them. They'll make you happy. Hey, Val, you got any specials today?
Starting point is 00:30:43 Cookies. Like literally like, we could be in a sitcom, it could be called, it's a living. Except it would be just us in a diner instead of a rooftop bar. It's a living with a man who's not going to marry me for whatever reason. I mean, another one seriously. So Gabby comes over and, um, Dolores, you know, says how, uh, she's like, you know, Gabby's an amazing veterinarian. She gets home late because if she has to put a dog down, she'll sit with the family and make sure they're okay. You know,
Starting point is 00:31:19 she's a true doctor and I'm so proud of her. And every Tuesday, I have my mom and Gabby over for lunch. So Gabby comes over, it's very sweet. It's like a ladies lunch in the Dolores household. So they're talking about Frank's dog who is near to death because he has a tumor. And so they're waiting for that and giving it a lot of drugs.
Starting point is 00:31:40 And they're all feeling really bad for Frank. And then we find out that Frankie has a girlfriend, you know, very nice girl. Then we find, then we're talking about the engagement with big Frank a lot and Val's like, is he still going through with the engagement even though the dog is sick? Let me tell you, we're about to 86 that dog, which is very, very sad. But guess what? We've also got cookies. Ma, you don't have to go over the menu right now. All right. We're in real life right now. All right. Ma, let me serve you just for once. Let me serve you.
Starting point is 00:32:14 So, um, so then they're talking about, um, like they got, uh, Frank bought a house for, uh, what's her face again? What's her name again? The girl, his, his fiance, what's her name again? It'll come to me. It'll come to me. I forgot. He bought her a house. And so, um, you know, so Gabby's saying like, yeah, she could not be more excited about the house. I thought, well, what's not to be excited over? It's one of the nicest streets in Franklin lakes. Only five dumpsters on it. I mean, that is a real, that's a real blockbuster street in New Jersey. Which leaves me to ask, what is Frank doing in?
Starting point is 00:32:49 Because what does he do? What does he do? Because he got disbarred from lawyering, right? For taking money out of the account, the client's account. It was like a very low level Tom Girardi types of situation.. And then he was kind of flipping houses maybe with Delore. And then he, what else does he, what does he do? How is he getting the nicest house in Franklin Lakes? That's what I want to know.
Starting point is 00:33:15 He had a standup career going on the road with the guys. They had their thing. But Frank doesn't even appear on this show that much anymore. He used to be like every episode, but now it's only here and there. So I don't really know what he's doing or how he's spending his time. So then, um, she was like, yeah, he told me he's going to engage, get engaged at the house he bought for her. So that's exciting. And they're like, oh my God, they're so, this is so great.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And I was like, well, if he's going to do it, you know what? He should just do it enough waiting, right? You shouldn't have to wait. Am I right? The law, the law, right? Right. They both look up to Loris and Loris was what? Listen, I've been married. I've had my kids. Okay. I've walked from the kitchen to the living room to the kitchen and back again. I've done it all. Paul still has to get divorced. And so then Valerie, you know, she's like, oh, you know what? You, you know what? Okay. She's like, Oh, I just realized Gabby, you were making that face at your mother. That was for your mother.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I didn't, I just didn't, I just realized it right now. I just realized what this whole moment was about. Okay. I got it. Okay. I'm caught up. I understand what's happening now. So what he's been, let me tell you something. He's been separated for 15 years, whatever time to get divorced. If you're not back by then then you're not getting back. All right. Which is a good, which is a good call. And that's very good, uh, motherly advice. You're not getting back together.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Okay. Time to just get divorced. But also if someone's pushing, pushing it that long, I don't know that he really wants to get married to you, Dolores. Sorry. So she's like, yeah, you know what? I don't think it's that she doesn't want to be divorced, but you know, look, beyond that, Paul wants to start a business with me, which is much more important than marriage, am I right? Because he's a man,
Starting point is 00:34:52 a man with money. What do men love? Money. So he's willing to share that with me. Doing what? I don't really know. No one's told me, but I'm very honored. Very honored. And they're like, Dolores is like, yeah, it's going to be electrical work. And he's like, Oh, yeah, okay, electrical work. Will there be cookies? No, ma, it's wires, it's electricity. And Gabby's like, I don't know if I can, I can't wait to see you put in electrical wires. No, I'm not the electrician.
Starting point is 00:35:21 And neither is he, by the way. So Paulie is not electrician. I'm so confused. There's neither is he by the way. She's like, so Paulie's not an electrician? I'm so confused. There's no cookies, no electricians. What does he actually do with his wife? Okay, so you've heard this gossip, right? About Paulie. I don't know, I don't know what you're gonna say.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I'm looking it up online. Now don't sue us over this cause this is just stuff I'm reading on Reddit, okay? So I'm gonna look up real housewives of New Jersey, Polly brothels is what I hear. Brothels. Um, Polly brothels. It's, it's always very, you know, what's funny about the name Polly is that whatever,
Starting point is 00:35:59 whatever noun you put after it, as long as you pluralize it, it sounds like a nickname. Oh, Polly brothels. Okay. Hey, you talked to Polly Brothels lately? Okay. David Yontep on Behind the Velvet Rope podcast had someone on there who said, the reason Polly does not get divorced is because he and his wife own brothels, which make them a fortune. There's a TikTok of it that I saw and I'm just wondering if anybody else saw it, knows anything. That was from Pearl Jen or something. And let me see if there's a, now someone told somebody on some podcast, that sounds like a Dana Wilkie thing. Was this a Dana Wilkie thing? Okay, then there's another one on Reddit that says, Paul owns brothels? Paul Sands I heard today, this was created by Thal. I can tell because their little avatar is a
Starting point is 00:36:47 cookie. I heard today that Dolores cheated on David and that Paul owns brothels with his wife. What? What? For question marks. And someone said he has a sleaze factor, and then someone said, good money in it. No wonder he doesn't want a divorce, lose his share of the business if he did. And then someone said, Pauly, the staunch Catholic who can't get divorced also runs brothels on the side, I mean, come on now. And then someone said, I mean, it's pretty common for Catholic men to pick and choose what they do and donate hereby.
Starting point is 00:37:20 And then of course, it turns into a big gossip fest. But the reason I even looked that up was because people keep writing in our comments on Instagram and stuff like, well, he's not going to divorce his wife because of the brothels. So of course now everybody's just taking this as fact because, you know, someone said it on a podcast somewhere sometime, just like we're doing right now, you know, spreading it around. My reason for spreading it around is A, yes, of course we've heard the rumors and B, I hope it's true. That would be amazing. I hope that Dolores is like,
Starting point is 00:37:49 yeah, you know what I helped Paulie with his business, selling people. I mean, it's... Dolores would make an amazing Adam. Talk about a sitcom. It's a living. Now that's a living. All right. Hey, did you perform tonight? Did you get any good, did you get any good John's? No? Okay, well tomorrow night, better luck. Well, you know what? Talk about a bunch of women
Starting point is 00:38:09 not giving away the milk for free. You gotta respect it, Delores. Mom, was that a slam at me? What are you, slamming me hypothetically? What are you doing? Sorry, that was in some gay person's head. Hey, you know, I actually wouldn't mind some free milk, you know, to go with the cookies.
Starting point is 00:38:25 I can't imagine Delores being in a relationship with someone who owns brothels. I just don't see her looking the other way on something like that. I really don't. But would she care? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that Dolores would have a huge moral objection to it. What if Dolores is just like, great, you know, the girls are great. Like she probably goes in
Starting point is 00:38:50 and it's like, all right, let's talk. You know, Landison, I'm trying to think of like a hooker name, but I can't think of one. Cookie? Cookie. Not really a traditional hooker name. Cinnamon. okay? Listen, cinnamon spice, come in here, sit down. Now, when you do a threesome, it's even money. That's it. You feel like you did more cinnamon? Guess what?
Starting point is 00:39:13 Someone always does more in a threesome, okay? Someone does the work, someone gets to sit back and just watch and what, frick themselves with a finger? Like, who cares? You know what? She got the lucky seat that time. Next time, maybe you'll get the lucky seat.
Starting point is 00:39:23 She'll do more. But at the end of the day, you still split, okay? She had to be there with that hairy-backed, naked, fubid motherfucker, and she deserves part of the pay. That's it. I don't want to fight about it. Girls, go back to work. Go back to work. Wait, here's a handy wipe.
Starting point is 00:39:37 All right, now go. Now go. She brings them all lasagna. Listen, don't argue with me, or you're not going to get to taste this Gila monster shaped out of Fakasha. So, um, well either way she says that Polly has invited her to be part of the business and she tells us, you know what? It's the highest form of flattery for a man to say, come into my business because I know
Starting point is 00:40:05 what their money means to them. We all do, right? But he has not been clear about my job title exactly and responsibility or even what the job is or what his business is. And I don't know if I wanna do it. I don't know. Ma'am, I hate to break this to you.
Starting point is 00:40:19 This is not the highest form of flattery to have someone make you feel that it's the highest form of flattery, to have you come in and do all the tasks that he does not want you to do. This is not flattery at all. This is like pawning off responsibilities, if you ask me. Well, I think when they first started, I think he's trying to shut her up, first of all, but I think that he first, the way she presented it first to us was that she was going to start a business with Paul. Like they were going to have a business together. But now it sounds like
Starting point is 00:40:49 he's saying, just come work for me, which is not the same thing. Yeah, I can't tell what it is. But if she's saying, I want you to, uh, I'm not moving forward in our relationship until you get divorced. And his response is, okay, let's start a job together. That is not healthy to me. That's not good because the issue with the relationship is still an issue. And now you're just going to be more enmeshed financially. And I don't think this is a flattering thing at all. So Paul enters, he's like, Oh, Br ladies and check out my God. Look at you. I didn't even hear you come in Paul. Wow. You're a sneaky, sneaky,
Starting point is 00:41:31 sneaky woman selling man. I'm sorry. Did I say that? I've been on the read it. Sorry. Go ahead. The law. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So he enters, uh, on the heels of, I'm glad that Valerie, by the way, before Paul enters was like, um, you have a right to know what your future is by the way. You should be able to know what's going on here. And she's right. So then we go over to Teresa's house and, um, Teresa has made huge piles of eggs for all her daughters.
Starting point is 00:41:59 Like her plates are just like overflowing with scrambled eggs. And Melania is like, guys, I can't believe it's my senior year. Oh yeah, I've been talking to Gabriella and she said that college is really hard. Yeah, well, she's at UMich. UMich is a hard school. I'm not going to hard school like that. I just wanna go like where I can get in, man.
Starting point is 00:42:18 Like wherever I get in, that's where I'm gonna go. Like, great. Sounds good. So, Teresa, one of Louis' sons come in and they're going to give, they've brought over a barber for him. And Teresa is like, yeah, yesterday after meeting with the fooders, I was so toxic.
Starting point is 00:42:38 What makes me feel at peace is being with my family. So, you know, John Fugazi, that's a goofball right there. All right. He's like Mr. Macho and he can't admit that he's wrong. All right. Who the fuck do you think you are? Let me tell you who you is. All right. A little yappy dog. And then we go to the food is house where the daughter is in a walker because she is like her motor skills are developing slowly. So she's in physical therapy and they think it's like actually, uh, like tied in with her tongue
Starting point is 00:43:12 tie and that once she gets her oral surgery that it could improve. So they're just being happy with the daughter. Yeah. And, um, so then we go back to the Gorgas and they're doing ootifs. And Melissa's like, Joe, do you feel like we're back in Italy? It's like, yeah, yeah, limoncello, right? Yeah, yeah. Cause that's Italian, right? Limoncello, huh? Yeah. Well, by the way, Joe, I just want to remind you, I don't think tonight is a shots type of party, not tonight. So definitely don't do shots. And that way I don't think tonight is a shots type of party. Not tonight. So definitely don't do shots.
Starting point is 00:43:48 And that way I won't have to come up to you and be like, Joe, you just did a shot and it'll be hilarious for America. No shots tonight, Joe. So then the assistant, I still can't get over that. It's shooting shots into Joe's mouth with a shotgun and Melissa's like, Oh my God, you guys got tequila all over my floor before anyone even gets here. Joe, Jesus. Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out of the pages of one of her own novels.
Starting point is 00:44:23 She was a romance mystery writer who happens to be married to a chef. But this story didn't end with a happily ever after. When I stepped into the kitchen, I could see that Chef Brophy was on the ground and I heard somebody say, call 911. As writers, we'd written our share of murder mysteries. So when suspicion turned to Dan's wife, Nancy,
Starting point is 00:44:45 we weren't that surprised. The first person they look at would be the spouse. We understand that's usually the way they do it. But we began to wonder, had Nancy gotten so wrapped up in her own novels... There are murders in all of the books. ...that she was playing them out in real life? Follow Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy
Starting point is 00:45:04 on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Happily Never After, Dan and Nancy early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So I'm gonna go to Marge's and she's like, oh my God, look at me picking out a yellow dress for this. Oh my God, this is a vent. This is gonna be such a hoopla.
Starting point is 00:45:25 Okay. You know why Joe? Cause I have to see Jackie. Can you believe it? And the crazy thing is that bougie bling lunch. Melissa says she's going very hard on me. She's very upset with me. And as soon as Theresa gives her the time of day, what does she do?
Starting point is 00:45:37 She runs over everything that's transpired before it never happened. You know what? It's like, you want to be upset with me? Fine. But you go be upset with me. You trash me everywhere. Who does that? What a douche. Speaking of, why are you still in blue when I'm putting on yellow? I mean, what are you divorcing me? Why don't you just divorce me right here on camera? Then
Starting point is 00:45:53 why don't you just cut me in the gut and take out my heart? He's like Margie, I thought I finally got it right. The sea foam shirt. No, it's a yellow party. It's not a sea foam shirt, Joe. So then we go back to the Gorgas and Melissa saying that, you know, Jackie and Margaret are both going to come and she hopes they don't argue and how they just aren't like not really feeling themselves right now. And then I hope I don't argue after I just started a fight with them and went and told Margaret everything that Jackie just said to piss her off. Yeah. Hope they don't, hope they don't fight.
Starting point is 00:46:26 And then Gorka is asking about Jen Aiden and if she's going to come. So then we go over to Jennifer Aiden's house where she too is picking out a dress and Bill is ensconced in his favorite perch, the little bench at the end of the bed, his little couch, his little bed couch. He loves that. We could sit there, cross his legs, put an arm up on one of the sides. Like, girl talk time. Am I right? It's going to be an awkward party for me, you know, baby,
Starting point is 00:46:54 cause I text him a list. I haven't even seen Joe. I haven't even talked to her husband. Yeah. And, um, and you know, back at the Gorgas Gorgas just saying, Hey, I just want to be happy. I mean, looking at my beautiful wife, I'm just happy. I'm excited. Look how gorgeous you are. I'm not crying on the inside at all. Hey, so is Teresa okay with you going tonight? What does she feel really care about what tree says? I'm a real tree stump. Hey, she just said, don't talk about me, baby.
Starting point is 00:47:24 We were at the bougie brunch and we were talking about the puppy party I had and Lena's name came up and Danielle was like, that's my friend. You would let, would you let fit? How could you let someone just sit there and talk shit about me? And I was like, she wasn't talking shit about you. She was just standing facts, baby. And say, what is actually happened, baby? And then we see the flashback of Lena being like, can you believe I did this girl's hair and then she didn't want me in the VIP section of her party? I never, I mean, who, what kind of glamour party for children with cancer is this? If I'm not in the VIP. I opened up my salon that
Starting point is 00:47:59 was open that day and I did her hair. Okay. Could you believe it? So then Jennifer's like, you know, it's something about Danielle this entitled elitist type of personality. I will say this. I do not look at Danielle Cabral and say, look at that elitist. That's just not what comes to mind. Jen built a mansion on top of the Paramus mall. So to look, it to look like it's a chateau in France, literally so poor people would look up at her when they're coming out of the Macy's.
Starting point is 00:48:32 Danielle is in like a 1987 split level home, who is like filled with, you know, white toaster ovens and stuff. And Jennifer's like, Oh, she's the latest over there, baby. No, I do see where she's coming from with saying Danielle's getting too big for her britches too soon. Because I think Danielle is very much like that where she's like, no matter how far I get with my insane career, the school is on right now. Like, girl, what are you talking about? Calm down. Slow your roll.
Starting point is 00:49:01 Oh, yeah, you built a website. But it's coming from Jen. So it's like, well, it was not much validity there. Again, cause Jen is, um, Jen is basically punishing Danielle for messing up what the whole plan was last year or not really messing up. But again, the whole thing was Teresa and Jen were using Danielle as kind of like their little puppet with the whole Laura thing. And then Danielle got mad because she realized that she was being used. And so, um,
Starting point is 00:49:32 Jennifer is just kind of trying to beat her to the punch, sort of making Danielle the bad guy before Danielle can make Jennifer the bad guy. So that's what she's trying to do here. And we find out later that the plan was that this hairdresser was bringing Laura from last year, who Laura was the one who spread the rumor about Melissa DeMarge. So she's basically, Teresa and Jen are still trying to be really messy and use this event as a time where they can bring this messy lady in to cause more drama with Danielle. And Danielle was smart to and got rid of it.
Starting point is 00:50:04 So Jen's taking this whole, to that, baby, I'm gonna check in on her, okay? So she's like, I love it that you have ambition. I love that you can find a tutu and sell it, but like, you wanna get to the top? You wanna make it? I support you 100%, but don't treat people like shit to get there, don't do that, because you're gonna
Starting point is 00:50:19 be the best, you're gonna be the best. So I'm like, I'm gonna check in on her, okay? So she's like, I love it that you have ambition. I love that you can find a tutu and sell it, but like you wanna get to the top, you wanna make it. I support you 100%, but don't treat people like shit to get there, don't do that, because when you're up, people remember how you treated them, and God has a funny way of you mumbling people down, baby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:38 I don't know how far up Danielle is really getting though, to be fair. I think it's, she may have peaked. Now listen, I know you finally got enough pizzas to get a free one from Domino's, but remember while you're looking at that pizza tracker, God can come right in and take that pizza right away from you, baby. It's called a pot hole on the Guisey Parkway, next to you know that pizza truck on the side of the road.
Starting point is 00:51:05 And you're sitting there with bupkis. Don't get too excited, baby. By the way, it looks like an earthquake in my house constantly because I keep knocking. I put the monitor on one of those monitor arm stands because I'm all fancy. But now every time I touch the desk, the whole monitor shakes. And my camera shakes.
Starting point is 00:51:22 Yes, baby. Yes, baby. Be careful on the way back down, baby. In case anyone's wondering why they're feeling sick, it is because I'm shaking the camera. Okay, sorry. Okay, so then we go to the Gorgas house and the party is going. Nate and Danielle is showing up. It's all the glamorous movie stars, Nate and Danielle Cabral, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah, Danielle is wearing some sort of crazy top. It sort of looks like doily, like a doily pattern. It's like two strips of it along the front.
Starting point is 00:51:55 I mean, if this, if this lady thinks that she's about to make a splash in fashion, I mean, I just think she has a ways to go, you know, a very long ways to go. So they get there and they're being served at Gorgas Spritz. And because this is a classy party where there should be no shots, there is a Michelangelo's David that's like cut out with Joe Gorgas face put on it and the lemon in front of the dick.
Starting point is 00:52:17 So, you know, no shots here, guys. It's a classy party. Yeah, it's very classy. Just, and of course he's taken a Sharpie to make the dick bigger too. Yeah. Like, so Melissa's like, do you want to tour of my house?
Starting point is 00:52:29 She's like, oh my God, this house is so beautiful. It's put together. It's like, it's like a glam room. I want a glam room. I thought it was going to be like, it was going to be so big. You had to be like, hey! But you know, you know,
Starting point is 00:52:40 it's like the family room's right by the kitchen. It's amazing, I want that. I love that she's like blown away by the idea of family room's right by the kitchen. It's amazing, I want that. I love how she's blown away by the idea of a family room off of the kitchen. Oh my God, they really thought of everything. So, you know that elitist mindset that she has, it's out of control.
Starting point is 00:52:57 So, now Joe Bonino and Marge, he's walking Marge and Marge Sr. up the driveway. I'm wearing yellow for all my girls. What's it like with the Amalfi Coast? Okay, you know, let me tell you something. All my life, I have supported the Amalfi Coast. I'm just that sort of friend. What can I say?
Starting point is 00:53:16 Then the food is like, what is this? Villa Gorga? Is that what we call it in this place, because it's like Italy. Guess what I got, grapple, cause it's like Italy. Hey, oh my God, John Fuda, this guy's Italian. You can't get more Italian than him. He got me Grappa.
Starting point is 00:53:34 Oh my God, Italian, there he is. There he is. That's right. I'm so Italian. I'm a IMDb's. That's Italian, movie star, dad. Pizza.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Oh, D. Uh, B. I still stand by the pizza. I'm adding pizza in there. Doesn't fit in the acronym, but I'm fitting pizza. IMDB, IMDP. All right. I, I am movie, Italian movie dad pizza.
Starting point is 00:54:06 I am the pest, the pizza. So then Rachel, the guys are just going, a lot like a bunch of fucking tourists, you know? So Rachel goes to Melissa and she's like, Melissa, so good to be at your house. I just wanted to tell you, I met up with Teresa and Louie and they sat down and we talked for maybe nine minutes and then we left. Could you believe it?
Starting point is 00:54:31 Could you believe it? What? I can't believe it. Yeah, she goes to John, you know, I'm sorry I said, if I said your brother was a drug dealer, if I said that, if I said, no, you did. You need to sit there and say, I am sorry that I did that to you.
Starting point is 00:54:45 I never should have said that without knowing the whole story. And Louis said nothing. He said nothing. I'll let that sink in. Didn't make me speak. Louis said nothing. One sentence he spoke, he said, Teresa, stop talking.
Starting point is 00:54:57 I want to hear John's story. So now hold on. So they brought a bottle of blue label. This is where the story gets so hilariously good. You ready? You sitting down? You're sitting down. Okay? So good.
Starting point is 00:55:07 I'm sitting, I'm ready, tell me everything. They brought a bottle of blue label. Oh my God. And they say, give this to my brother when you go to the house tonight. It's a housewarming gift. Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
Starting point is 00:55:16 They wanted to give me a nice little gift. That is, I am, I am besotted by this. This is absolute, this is wild. You're what? Uh, I don't know. A strange word came into my brain and I said besotted. Yeah, I don't know what that is. But let me tell you, this gift even had a card and a bow on it. And I'm like, wow, it's really the whole thing. And I was like, I literally looked at it and I was like, I'm not taking that shit. Okay. You know
Starting point is 00:55:44 what? You know what? You know where you can throw it? In a pool in the woods. She goes, yeah, Joe doesn't want that. And Melissa says, thank God, Rachel didn't bring that bottle into my house. I don't want anything to do with anything they wanna give me.
Starting point is 00:56:00 It probably has a air tag in it, probably bugged. I don't want that karma or my bottle or that bottle in my home. Wow. Um, so I got this air tag and Melissa's, uh, and Melissa's bottle. It just, it's going circles around Kim D store. It's so weird. There it is. Wait, hold on, hold on. Okay. Now it's parked in front of Posh. Okay. Now it's driving around again. I was driving around again. So then Dolores and Polly arrive and Dolores like, wow, super nice. This is beautiful. And so meanwhile, Rachel's still going off. I mean,
Starting point is 00:56:40 that gift, it was for Joe. Okay. She literally was like, this is for my brother. I'm like, I it was for Joe. Okay, she literally was like, this is for my brother. I'm like, I'm sorry, Rachel. I just cannot get whipped into a frenzy about this. I don't think it's the biggest deal in the world. If anything, it is sort of nice. Even if it was passive aggressive, even if it's from the long tradition of housewives giving
Starting point is 00:57:01 like, oh, I wasn't invited gifts to people, you know, Kyle Richards and Lisa Vanderpump. We all remember the gift at the reunion. At the end of the day, it's still just a stupid gift. And like, I would not get whipped into a frenzy about it. Nice one. A nice one. Cause they're even mad that it's blue label, you know? And that's, I'm assuming that's nice. Cause everyone keeps saying blue level, right? Blue sounds like a good label. Blue label.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Blue ribbons first place. Blue whales are the biggest whale. I think it's nice. You can't complain. A gift. Don't look at the sky's blue. The sky's blue. Okay. So it's sadness. So I don't really know. So, um, they don't call it the oranges. They call it the blues. So then, um, Rachel's like, yeah, go throw it in a pool in the woods. Okay. So then, um, Polly comes and Dolores has the bottle. And she goes, what a beautiful house
Starting point is 00:57:49 and what a beautiful blue label we're about to bestow upon it. Am I right, Polly? Just Rachel's like, I am shooketh. It made its way here. It's almost like there was a team of producers that was gonna make this happen no matter what happened. I can't even believe it.
Starting point is 00:58:06 She's like, where did you get that bottle of blue label? I am shooketh. And she's like, oh, you know what? I was asked to bring it, so I brought it. Well, guess what I am? Shooketh. I can't, I just can't. Melissa, have you seen this?
Starting point is 00:58:18 I'm shooketh. Melissa's like, you did not bring that blue label into my house. Look at Rachel. She shooketh. Can you believe it? Don't open that. Shooketh before opening it. It's believable. So they're all like outraged that this stupid bottle has made its way via Dolores to the household. Cause of course it would.
Starting point is 00:58:43 I mean like Teresa's not going to spend that money and have it go to waste. She's going to find someone to extend it over there. And so are the producers by the way. Right. Well, I mean, how was she going to say, but man, but we had the house woman. I can't give you a bottle of blue label. So yeah. So they walk, they're all shooketh, very shooketh about it. And Dolores is like, you know what? She asked me to bring it. So I brought it. So wrong. It's like my mother, she asked me to bring a cookie.
Starting point is 00:59:13 I bring her a cookie. It's just what I do. I bring things to things. What is that? So wrong? So then Gia is, so Becca over at Tariah's house, she was making like meatballs or something. She's like, yeah, I'm going to make meatballs cause it makes me think of you, you know, cause I gotta like think of Gia how to make sauce cause she wants to move out of the house or who moves out of the house without knowing how to make sauce. I mean, I know kids might know how to make sauce. That's crazy.
Starting point is 00:59:39 I was shocked. Didn't they, didn't they make sauce as, as children? Wasn't there like a scene as a family, they all sat out there in the driveway and made sauce together. How's Gia not know at this, at this point, I think it's on Gia. Like her, your mom has several cookbooks out. Now you just have to take them into your new apartment and you got to figure out yourself. If you haven't taken the time to learn it from your mother. Yeah. So I'm not really sure what's going on there, but you know what? Don't approve. You have a certain amount of time to raise your children. So raise them right. Having children that don't know anything about sauce, that is embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for you. I'm embarrassed for your children.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Okay. I don't even know what college would take those children. You shouldn't even take children from Jersey without a sauce test before school. You know, you fill out, you take your GED, who can't, yeah, your GED, what's the other one? The SAT, I don't care if you're able to sit down, you better be able to make a sauce. You better take a SOC, that's what you better take. Yeah, I couldn't agree more. It's like the presidential physical fitness test,
Starting point is 01:00:36 except with sauce. So, she's gonna make sauce, and because she wants to move in with her boyfriend, and Teresa actually is in the mindset that Gia should live by herself first before she even moves in with someone. Cause she's never lived on her own. And Teresa never lived on her own also, but cause she wasn't allowed to. So she wants Gia to do the things that she wasn't allowed to do. Yeah. So Gia comes in and she's like, no, no, you know what?
Starting point is 01:01:04 I think that you should live with your boyfriend. I mean, you should live alone before you live with your boyfriend. She goes, yeah, but you learn a lot about someone when you live together. Right, Louie? Did you guys learn a lot about each other when you guys moved in together? He's like, oh, yeah. And Teresa's like, yeah, I learned so much from him. You know, when we lived together,
Starting point is 01:01:28 it made me realize how compatible I believe we were. And then we see a clip of Louis saying, I sit down to pee. Huh, huh. And she's like, I like that. I like that you sit down to pee. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I think that Gia needs to live on her own.
Starting point is 01:01:45 So she learns not so much about her boyfriend, but she learns about things like paying rent. I think that's really a really important skill to have in life. I think she needs to live alone just so she can get some rest cause like literally exhausted. She's just like, her eyes are always half closed and she's just like, yeah, well, I guess I'm going to move in with my boyfriend. Well, also like Gia has taken on this persona of being like world weary and like wiser than
Starting point is 01:02:11 her years. I'm like, but you haven't lived by yourself yet. So I need you to do that before you can be the sage of New Jersey. Yeah. But you know how when you, like when I moved from the city to the country, it was very difficult to go to sleep. Like there was a ringing in my ears from not having all the city noise. Can you imagine suddenly not having Teresa in your head? I mean, that's a very loud noise. It's like living on a train that's constantly about to hit someone like, it's a constant choo-choo suddenly being gone from your life. Her brain is going to just melt out of her ears. It's not going to be able to take it.
Starting point is 01:02:47 She needs to know what that's like. She needs to know how to live with your brain melting out of your ears because that makes you stronger. What doesn't melt out of your ears makes you stronger. Yeah. So then Teresa looks at her potholders, goes, oh, look at this, this potholder says, Mr. and Mrs. Oh, Danielle gave me these.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Oh man. But now she's hanging out with people I don't like. So she's like, well, as long as she's not talking shit about you or whatever, ma. I guess that's okay. Oh my God, but you know what? I don't ever want, like, I don't ever want to muddle the waters the way she does. And like, in this group, there's a lot of troublemakers.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Oh my God, the pot holder says Mr. and Mrs. I almost forgot. Oh my God. Anyway, you know what? Like John Fugazi, I wanted to have a gift for my brother and you know what happened? What happened? He wouldn't take it. Yeah, yeah. You just wanted to be a little bitch boy for your brother, huh? Yeah, little bitch boy.
Starting point is 01:03:54 When he comes here, I'm gonna say right to his face. I'm gonna say... Have a seat. I feel like it's so weird still that they talk so much shit about other adults in front of Gia. I don't know why. She is the adult. It's one of those situations where Gia has to be the adult. She gives her advice where she's like, Ma, she can be friends with her as long as she's not talking shit about you. She's like, Oh my God. What do they call it? Parentifying your child? Very bad, very, very bad. So then we go to Jennifer Fessler and Jeff,
Starting point is 01:04:29 who gets a chyron that says, Jeff Fessler, husband of Jennifer Fessler. Oh, I love Leman Cello. They get their shots, everything, they come in. And then people are gathered in the backyard by a fire pit, importantly backyard by a fire pit, importantly by a fire pit. And then the blue label bottle is there. Blue label, it's blue label. Ben, did you mention it's blue label? It's blue label.
Starting point is 01:04:56 I feel like I have a booger, but I don't. It's weird. Okay, sorry. I don't have a booger, but I find that every five words, a little like a little bit of like snot is like appearing in the back of my nose. Ever have that happen? So it makes it weird for me to say certain words. So like I'll be talking and then all of a sudden I'll be like, look, it's strange. Has that ever happened to you? I'm sure. I mean, but whatever, whatever you call it, without any of the benefits of ever taking cocaine,
Starting point is 01:05:24 there's not really many benefits of taking cocaine. Wait, I talk fast as it is. Have I been doing coke all this time? I talk fast and I have coke drip. No, but I used to wonder about you when we first were becoming friends, because you would be like, I'll be right back. And then you would come back
Starting point is 01:05:40 literally cracked out of your mind. I mean, you would just be talking like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I learned he really is like that after you've had coffee. Like, because I've gone with you to have coffee. You know, most people are like, Oh my God, coffee cracks me out. And you're like, whatever. And it barely does anything. But you, it really does. You can come back from having coffee and be like, I'm out of control. I once, I remember one time my brother was like, are you on cocaine? And I was like, no, I've never done cocaine.
Starting point is 01:06:06 And yet I have all the bad side effects. Chatty, chatty and apparently a coke drip. Well, you're also thin. So that's one of the good things about it. Okay, so Melissa's like, so Joe, of course, sees the bottle cause food is like, what? This is what she gave me to give to you, the blue label. And Delores is like, listen, so Joe, of course sees the bottle cause food is like, what this is what she gave me to give to you the blue label. And Dolores is like, listen, she said, I got something for your brother.
Starting point is 01:06:30 And I got something from my brother that the food has left behind. Joe, here's what I think. I think it's a nice gesture. I know that this is what your father used to drink. I think that if I was a napkin, my twat would be facing you right now cause that's the way you set a table. I was a napkin, my twat would be facing you right now. Cause that's the way you set a table. Right? So then Joe's like, Hey, you think she respects,
Starting point is 01:06:50 you think she respects her dad with what she's done? And then, um, let's like, you see, this is why I don't want this in this house. We're going to put this with the other 17 bottles we have of this blue label. Cause we're wealthy and we can afford blue label on our own. So when you're in the mood to read the card, you can.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Sound good? I'm gonna put it right here, right next to the fire pit. And then we see Joe's face just getting redder and redder and his eyes get more crazed, you know, as he gets. His beard's getting more defined. Joe drama music. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention earlier,
Starting point is 01:07:23 something that I loved. That has nothing to do with this, but just now that Dolores is here, you know, the music on this show is so good. I love Jersey music. I think it's so good. And it's some of the only Housewives music that has stayed the style of Housewives, you know? Like, it goes with the mood.
Starting point is 01:07:40 It's obviously orchestrated by one gay somewhere in some basement. It's really good. So Dolores' today, they had a new tune for Dolores' scene with her mother, where it's kind of gets to the dopey part where she's like, Ma, why would I need him to commit to me when I'm going into business with them? And so they were kind of mocking her with the music and they were using my favorite sound effect, the... Like whenever something happens on the show and they're like, yeah, take that. They made a whole song like. I was like, wow, Dolores got an entire song made out of.
Starting point is 01:08:16 So congrats, Dolores, you deserved it. I feel like that's also the music that plays when Pauly goes to Bloomingdale's and picks out size small shirts for his next scenes. This would fit me the lower. I don't think it will. I just wanted to pick out something appropriate for his body type. That's all. It's not body shaming. It's just fashion shaming in that size. Fashion sizing shaming. Yeah. So it's fashion shaming in that size fashion sizing shaming. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:45 The size is taste shaming. So Joe is just enraged now because of the blue label. He's like, let me tell you something. All right. You lose your parents and what else you got? What else you got? Huh? We got each other.
Starting point is 01:09:00 And so we're gonna, what are you going to do? I met a new man. I opened my heart to that man, my heart to him you know what he did his school me instantly and I still forgave him I still forgave him, you know, because what's a pizza oven? What's a pizza oven at the end of the day? All right, this is a great reminder that all this bullshit is because of pizza ovens. Okay, that's what this is all Bout, okay, are the pizza ovens even still around? I don't know. I would like one at this point, honestly. Um, and you know what? You could see the producers are sort of on Joe Gorga's side because they gave him a very flattering
Starting point is 01:09:35 montage of him being like, I love Louie. I love him. I want you to marry my wife, my, my sister, my sister, who's also my wife in my head, but my sister, I want to, it's all like friendly and then it goes sour. So it was definitely showing that Joe Gorga like really opened his heart towards Louie. Um, and now, uh, now everything's gone sour. Yeah. So sad guys. So sad. So then, uh, Jennifer's like, I think Joe's making a point of this and all of his friends and his family. I get it, but I just don't think that a housewarming gift is nasty. Call me crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:11 I'm with Jennifer Fessler on this, I have to say. Even though I've always been Team Gorgor over Team Judas, I think this is ridiculous. And I think they should just accept the gift, be gracious, because if you're trying to win the big war about who is the better person here, you just gotta be like, thank you. Thank you very much. And you put it to the side and he move on. Well, what, uh, what Gorgas says here, I think is, is absolutely true. He says, you know, that's, that's not, that's not a good gift, you know, because like she ain't doing it. You know, if you, if you're,
Starting point is 01:10:41 if you're given an olive branch or something, you knock on someone's door and you do it without the cameras there. Right. But you know, you don't do it where you send a blue label to a party where everybody can see it. Well, she didn't send it and say, Dolores, jump out of a fucking cake and tell everybody you've brought the bottle. You know, I mean, it kind of is turning into that, but I think that he's right. And what he's saying is that she's obviously doing it to be performative. You know, it's Teresa. So of course that's why she's doing it.
Starting point is 01:11:06 But you're right that she should have, that he should just say, Oh, she brought me a blue label. That was very sweet. And then just shove it in a drawer and just ignore it. Exactly. Because Teresa is being performative, but he's being performative also in his response. So if you want to like win the performative war, like you don't, don't be performative also, just say thank you. And then you re-gift it quietly and like you don't make a thing of it because now it is like given,
Starting point is 01:11:32 it's created fodder for all of us on the internet, all of us at home to weigh in on this. And somehow it like makes Teresa look better in a weird way. Like, so I think that was, they played it incorrectly. They should just move on. They should just be totally indifferent towards her, you know? So it's like, show me that car, show me that car, show me that car. I'm going to read it right now for everybody. Just kidding. I'm throwing the fire. And they're like, Joe, no, Joe, don't do Joe. Oh Joe, I loved her. I took care of those children and now I'm dead to him.
Starting point is 01:12:02 I'm dead to him. Let me tell you what I'm not, a pizza maker, cause someone stole my oven, all right? So. So now, mmm, Bill and Jen arrive and they show up and they see the Michelangelo David cut out and Jennifer's like, Oh baby, I've never seen Joe go and get taller than me. But it's good to inspire Sara baby. Sara had to go for the cheap shot taller than me. But it's good to aspire. Sorry, baby. Sorry,
Starting point is 01:12:25 I had to go for the cheap shot. Sorry for the low blow. Emphasis on low. Cause you're smaller than me, baby. Oh, that's two for two. That was funny. So Joe and Melissa hug. Not Joe and Melissa, Joe and Bill hug. And he's like, things for common bro. He's like, well, time will tell. Am I right? Well, time will tell, am I right? And then Evan and Jackie show up and, you know, they're like, wow, it's so nice and everything. And Melissa saying, we've seen Evan, right? Have we seen Evan this year? Uh, I don't remember. I feel like he's popped up here or there. I feel like we've seen him before. I don't know. But I don't honor Evan.
Starting point is 01:13:06 I don't know. I've even been here. You're like, I have no idea. Who's Evan? So then Melissa's like, yeah, you know, Jackie just baffled me, baffled me at that lunch with the stuff she was saying. And then we see a clip of Melissa being like, Jackie, Teresa said horrible things to hurt your marriage and I will never let you forget that. And Jackie going, it's very transparent what you're doing right now, Melissa. And I would like you to stop it. Cause it's very, very transparent what you're doing. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:32 Even though it's very transparent what Jackie's doing. So Melissa's like, you know, I'm not going to not invite her. You know, I do love her. Plus I also can't listen to another complaint about Jackie not being invited to something. It's like an extended montage of Jackie not being invited and Jackie complaining about not being invited to something. It's like an extended montage of Jackie not being invited and Jackie complaining about not being invited to something. Can you believe this?
Starting point is 01:13:49 I'm the only person that's not invited to the party over and over again. So Joe's shooting shots into Evan's mouth, which is like Joe Gorgas dream, you know? So Jackie is falling. She falls on a step, which is poor Jackie, you know? I mean, my God, she's just like, finally I'm at a party, now everybody's gonna see what it's like not inviting Jackie to a party because Jackie is fun.
Starting point is 01:14:10 Boom, plants, just fucking falls immediately. She's like, I'm gonna make a spl- not that I'm invited, I'm gonna make a splash at this party as she literally falls down into a puddle and splashes everyone. And then Melissa, who someone just fell on her house and Melissa goes, you know what? There's a step there. You know what else is there? A lawsuit. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I was like, I hope you got your house,
Starting point is 01:14:31 your some good home insurance because that could be a state farm situation right there. Totally. Rachel's like, Oh my God, did you see that? She just ate shit. Did you see how I landed everybody? Fucking phenomenal. I didn't even spill my drink. You know what I would call that landing? I would call it a Teresa, just absolutely perfect, right? So you know what? When she was a child, I told her you're so good at landing. I've always supported her. I've always supported you. When gravity tried to take you down, I said, don't do that. That's my dear friend, Jackie Goldner. I remember don't do that. That's my dear friend Jackie Goldner
Starting point is 01:15:05 I remember saying that when I was two years old all my life. I've supported you dare you treat me like this disgusting you do so then Let's see guys are like fucking with the Gorgas statue, you know, it's just a jersey So whenever the guys are around all you hear is like Your wife pick that shirt up for you, hey So the double dildo on my right. So then, um, Melissa is talking to the girls chatting. So Melissa's like, so did you tell everybody about your meeting with Teresa Rachel?
Starting point is 01:15:38 And Dolores is like, Oh, I heard about this meeting. I heard that you said something like you're opposed to child for mortgage fraud. So is that what you said? Cause you know what? That's not really worth it, is it? Especially knowing dot, dot, dot. Rachel's like, but for her to say, how dare you talk about Jayden's mom like that?
Starting point is 01:15:56 I will punch you in the fucking face. Okay? Because that is not his mom. That is a story that nobody here, but me and John knows anything about. So who are you to talk about something you don't know nothing about? Well, not only is it a story that no and John knows anything about, so who are you to talk about something you don't know nothing about? Well, not only is it a story that no one here
Starting point is 01:16:08 knows anything about, it's also a story that I don't think anyone here cares about, so that really works out well. So, Jennifer's like, well, I think that if you just sort of stepped it apart in the first place, you could have moved on, baby. And she's like, well, no, she wasn't even heated when she said it, Jen. She was dead serious.
Starting point is 01:16:25 She was so serious. I'm gonna take my finger, my index finger and my thumb and then make a little bird head out of the other three and go dead serious, dead serious. So then Jackie is watching this and gossiping. She's like, I've never seen anyone hate anyone so much as she hates Teresa. And I think it's because she has someone in her ear and you think she's going to
Starting point is 01:16:45 go in there and friendly friendly when Margaret and Melissa, your best friends. I don't think that that's going to happen. Wow. Wow. It's like, I don't even know Jackie anymore. So, uh, she's trying it. She is trying. She is fully, she's like, I am ready to be on it. I'm sick of being on the losing team. So Rachel's like, well, if that were true, I wouldn't have even gone in the first place. Yeah, but it just didn't seem like you be on it. I'm sick of being on the losing team. So Rachel's like, well, if that were true, I wouldn't have even gone in the first place. Cause yeah, but it just didn't seem like you even wanted it. Like it seems seem like John didn't even want to work it out with Louie.
Starting point is 01:17:13 Well, he wants to hear what Louie had to say. He wanted a gentleman conversation. I'm like, oh yeah. John Fuda known for all his gentlemanly moments on the show. Yeah. So then Fuda is talking to the guys. He's like, that apology, that was a backhanded apology since it wasn't sincere, right? Because you know what's a good apology? A sincere one. Am I right? And then I told her what I was in trouble for. You know what?
Starting point is 01:17:35 I was selling a little bit of marijuana, you know? And I was younger than Gia is. And I know in the past, Jackie's accused Gia or made the allegation or an example of something like that and that spun out of control. But now you're accusing me of being the biggest drug dealer when I was that, okay. So wait, you're trying to equate the Gia thing
Starting point is 01:17:54 because you were young too and you made a mistake and now they're hurting another young person. But in the past, Trump who to drop this shit? What are you even talking about at this point? Like you're trying to get young person sympathy. You're not young. Stop. I just want to say Ronnie that whatever you were saying, um, Mac OS really appreciated it because in the middle of you talking, I don't know if you saw it, a little thumbs up showed up on the screen.
Starting point is 01:18:19 Like it literally like a thumb, a thumb up in a bubble, popped up next to your head. It's like, you know what? I've been listening to this podcast. I've been listening to these fuckers record podcasts for 12 years. Finally, I don't know what happened. It just showed up a little thumbs up. Like, yeah, listen, I'll take any agreement I can get in this world. Yeah. I think that's funny is being like, yeah, I thought, I thought it was, she got mad that someone came for a child, but now she's coming for a child, child. John Fuda back in the day.
Starting point is 01:18:52 I know this used to be my playground. I honestly, the way that the food is have blown up like a stupid thing. Teresa was in the wrong for sure. For saying that Teresa was being like a nasty person But the fact that they have turned this into a seven episode issue They are the ones that are highlighting John's past more than Teresa's at this point I'm sorry, and I I'm like I can't stand people that make me take Teresa's side. It's really driving me nuts. Yeah They're really they're really going for it, these two.
Starting point is 01:19:25 So then back to, and Evan goes like, you were just a baby. I can't believe she would do that. And so then back to Rachel, she's like, I actually told you to join when we had stood up to leave. And I go, you know what? Why don't you stay? And then we can ask Teresa to leave.
Starting point is 01:19:38 And then it could just be the guys talking. And Laura's like, maybe that's how it should have been in the first place. Am I right? Because then I wouldn't have had the great responsibility of bringing this blue label. I was talking and Laura's was like, maybe that's how it should have been in the first place. Am I right? Because then I wouldn't have had the great responsibility of bringing this blue label to this home, which I've done because I was asked. So now the guys with Teresa once, once I needed a ride somewhere and Teresa took me. So I will always have her back.
Starting point is 01:20:02 There were two sets of footprints in the sand that day. So and the blue labels. It's more like one set of footprints and just one dragging square shape of a bottle of blue label being dragged to the sand. So they're back to doing shots out of each other's mouths and everything and fun times. And now Dolores is talking to like Melissa and Danielle at the bar. And she's like, so are you going to have a talk with Jackie? She was, by the way, she was saying Danielle could help me with this,
Starting point is 01:20:32 but she was saying you and Melissa are in Rachel's ear. And that's not going to be any peace at that meeting. Wow. Wow. Well, we didn't say anything. And Jackie said that Rachel and Melissa wouldn't make amends because me and Melissa are in a rear. Did I get that right? I'm going to repeat the whole thing right in front of you. Okay, I got that right. What a douche. What a douche. You know what I'm going to do right now? I'm going to say something. You know what I am? Livit. I'm Livit. I'm Livit right now. And she marches over there. She's like,
Starting point is 01:20:57 can I just say something? Why would you say that there's no way Rachel's going to make up with Teresa because me and Melissa are in a rear? Okay, that's exactly, I just studied the line. That's exactly what you did. How dare you, how dare you. You were douche. You were douche. I just feel like it's true. I just feel like it's true, Margaret.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Oh really, but can I tell you something? I consider you a very good friend and I'm not mad at you for making, oh no, Melissa says, okay, but I'm not mad at you. So wherever you got that, make up with Teresa. What do I care? Well, at lunch you tried making it a problem and you know what you did. That was the private conversation between me and you. So wherever you got that makeup with Teresa, what do I care? Well, lunch, you tried making it a problem and you know what you did. That was the private conversation between me and you. And Melissa's like, but it's in your book. Like, and they're
Starting point is 01:21:31 talking again about how Jackie was upset that Teresa tried to come for her marriage. No, this is a new thing. Well, it is a new thing. But like that's, Melissa was saying, Teresa came for your marriage at the brunch. Melissa said, Teresa came for your marriage and I'm not going to let you forget that. Like it really bothered me. Right. But should they bring up a new thing now? Cause she's like, Melissa goes, it's in your book, Jackie. She goes, it doesn't matter if it's in my book, the book's not out yet. And she goes,
Starting point is 01:21:56 but it would marches like, but it will be out. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no. But we can't fight about that till the book's out. So I don't appreciate you bringing up something for now. Nobody knows that. So it's still supposed to be like Jackie's losing. She's like, it's still supposed to be between me and you because the way that I outed it, it hasn't been outed yet, which is crazy. But then Melissa's like, yeah, but so she explains to us what they're talking about, which is that Jackie came on Melissa's podcast and wrote in her book that what Teresa did to her caused her to relapse. And so that's now what they're arguing about.
Starting point is 01:22:27 And she's like, wait, you can't say that that was a private conversation. I outed you literally came on my podcast. How's that private? Yeah. And I understand why all these people are confused because if you're writing something in your book, it's not just like, oh, we were in a fight, but like she caused me to relapse. And then you're now actually being friends with her and which is even even that's okay. But you're also now like shutting the door on the friendships that you
Starting point is 01:22:53 used to have. It's all like reading in a very strange way. Yes. And so then Marge and Jackie, and also I said this in summer house and I just have to keep it going. You should never blame anybody for your relapse in any kind of thing that you're going through. It's weird. You shouldn't do it. So then Marge and Jackie are talking and Marge, back to Marge and Jackie, Marge is like, I've been there. I've been nothing but good for you. And she's like, to you. And she's like, you insinuated that I would have nothing without you, Margaret, which she did not. I don't think she did. Do you think that she did? I don't know. I mean, I can imagine Margaret, I imagine something like you have a book and I had a book first or something insinuating like I got you the book deal or... Well, Margaret said on
Starting point is 01:23:36 camera, Margaret said something like, if I remember correctly, like, look what I did, like, look how much I've helped you, I've supported you, whatever. And Jackie definitely took it as like, you're saying that you got me the book deal. Like, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have a book deal. But I don't think, I don't think that was Margaret saying, I gave you your book deal. I think that was Margaret saying,
Starting point is 01:23:56 I supported you in pursuing this path. Right. So then she was like, no, you said you have a book deal, that I have a book deal, cause you championed me. And she's like, all I said was I was upset you didn't send me a book, Jackie. She goes, you didn't say anything about my relationship with my mother. And then we see a clip of softball with Marge saying, I'm the only one who even knew about your book. And Jackie saying, my mother hasn't even read my book. And Marge saying, well, that's not surprising. She'd be like, you can talk about my mother, Marge. I can, but
Starting point is 01:24:23 you can't talk about my mother, March. I can, but you can't. So, you know, so then Margaret's like, you know, you're so defensive. And Jack is like, well, you're just mad that I'm Princess Theresa and too bad. This is a big fucking waste of my time and I'm walking away from you. So she walks off and Margaret's like, you know what? Okay, Dolores, Jen Fessler, I was trying to stay calm,
Starting point is 01:24:43 but she complained about you, Dolores, at the softball game for not tagging on her photo there. I said it, I'm putting it out there. But it was an accident for not tagging. She's like, oh, you know what? I had to walk her off the ledge then too, so that's what we're dealing with today, okay? So Jackie then goes over to Joe Benigno
Starting point is 01:25:00 and hugs him long and deep, a long deep hug, like an, oh my God, I love you so much. Hi, I love you. And Margaret's like, no, no, no. Don't hug my husband. Do not hug my husband. Do not hug Joe. Okay, he's my Joe.
Starting point is 01:25:15 She does not wanna see that. Like, you just got into a fight with me. You don't get to hug my husband right afterwards. I thought it was a pretty bold move on Jackie's part. You know? Like, I would not have done that. It was like, hey, it was like a deep hug. I'm like, I love you so much, Joe.
Starting point is 01:25:31 Just weird. And I loved how Marge dealt with it because she just went up to him and she goes, Joe, get off of her. Don't touch her. We just had it, it's not good. She says, I'm not a good friend to her and we're not good.
Starting point is 01:25:43 So just don't acknowledge her, Joe. She's like, Marker, what are you doing? She goes, seriously, just stop. This is some sick shit. This is sick shit coming up to jump in the enough. So, um. See what you're doing. You're trying to get into his little seafoam brain.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Well, it's not gonna work. So then Melissa goes upstairs, his little seafoam brain. Melissa goes upstairs to check on her dog, but like the David has now moved up to the staircase. She goes, Oh my God, now I've got Joe's balls in my face. Wait till my son gets home and sees this. Oh my God. And Polly's like, you got Joe's balls in your face a lot, don't you? You're pretty used
Starting point is 01:26:20 to that, Joe's balls in your face. Laughing Irish, laughing Irish, laughing Irish." And then he lifts his arm while he's doing it and we see a tattoo on his arm. And because we are living in the future, my friend, I put my camera on there and I did a Google image search and it translated his tattoo. It's Arabic. And according to Google Translate, it means, but few get it. Oh, so he's talking about divorce papers. Oh, I want to get divorced, but few get them. Why buy the cowl?
Starting point is 01:26:57 The tattoo. Why buy the tattoo when you get the ink for free? Am I right? Thank you. So then Jen and Danielle are talking. So Danielle's like, I wish to talk that. What's going on between you and me?
Starting point is 01:27:13 Huh? What's going on? Oh, you wanna talk now? You wanna talk in front of people? You wanna talk privately, baby? I don't care, just wanna know. You know what I mean? I mean, webinar fashion week on top of the world,
Starting point is 01:27:25 now I gotta figure this out. You know, what's cool? I just tell me what's cool. I. You know what? Go ahead and talk. I'm not gonna be a slob per se. I'm sure that word won't come back to haunt me
Starting point is 01:27:35 and get in the middle of this. You two talk, goodbye. So Jim's like, well, I hear that it's a bougie party. You were talking about the Lena thing and saying it's my friends. I wasn't friends with you because I didn't stick up for you. Well, if I agreed with what you did, I'd stick up for you, baby. And she's like, wait a minute, you're going to talk shit about me with someone who's already
Starting point is 01:27:54 talking shit about me? What's going on here? What is that? So she's like, I didn't agree with that behavior. And yet, saying, oh, who was she to even be here? Didn't you have to be a success in life, you shouldn't have to push anyone out of the way to get that, baby. I love that Jen's turning this into, you are being mean to a hairdresser to make yourself more successful, which makes no sense.
Starting point is 01:28:17 I mean, logic here really doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I don't get it. So, you know, Danielle's like, I have no idea who you're even talking about, Rod. You're talking about someone who blew my hair out once in my life. I don't know what from a hole in the wall. And so then Danielle explains. She's like, last February, I threw a party for children with cancer with a ball. And we see a sign that says, party like a housewife tonight at the Starland Ballroom.
Starting point is 01:28:47 So no wonder she thinks she's a star. If I wasn't a star, why was I a Starland, huh? Doesn't make sense. You know, I worked my ass off for this event and it was such a beautiful night and we had a VIP area that was for me, Dolores, Jen and Teresa. And I walked into this area secured,
Starting point is 01:29:04 so just so the fans could give us a break, you know? Cause when you're a star, in Starland, there's fans everywhere, you know? And the night of the event, everyone descended on it. Family, friends, Lena. It was a safety issue. I told security, you gotta get everyone out. So Jen's like, well, that was shitty.
Starting point is 01:29:19 What did you say to Lena? And she goes, oh, and PS, Lena wanted to bring Laura. That's what Danielle says. So then we see a clip and Laura is the one who told Jen that Marge said that Melissa made out with a guy last year. Right. This fucking show. And so Danielle's like, we're trying to be messy
Starting point is 01:29:39 and bring Lena and Laura to start some more shit for Danielle to spread. Teresa and Jen are so transparent. So Danielle is slightly smarter now, saw that that's what was going on. It was like, no, get the fuck out of my VIP. And she makes a good point. She says, why would I host a charity event and invite the one person that destroyed our group last year?
Starting point is 01:30:00 I mean, that's a strong argument. Like Laura, Laura's little rumor really did, that was the thing that kind of really, that was the tipping point for this whole group. She was like, we don't need bloggers. We don't need DestructoCanons, you know, come in left and right. Like, let's do something good and have fun with it. So then she's like, okay. So Jen's like, we did so much for you that night, so much. And she's like, oh my God, but you know what I did for you?
Starting point is 01:30:28 I fed you good, I got you cars, the car, I'm sure you're gonna get cars, you got reimbursed for the cars. Yeah, well Jen and Aiden's like, honey, we did so much, you could have had a big step and repeat that night and you had a big one, I didn't even consider putting Aiden
Starting point is 01:30:43 in plastic surgery up there, baby! That was pretty funny. She's like, why couldn't you advertise aid in plastic surgery for the kids with cancer? What kind of monster are you? Well, if aid in plastic surgery made a donation, I'm sure they would get on the step and repeat. Exactly, Jim.
Starting point is 01:31:01 So Danielle, they start yelling at each other. She goes, couldn't she even put plastic surgery up there? She says, no, I couldn't. So they're yelling at each other, but then she calms it down and she's like, listen, okay, let's just calm it down. And Jen's like, we did everything. We came to your event. And she goes, yeah. She goes, and then Jen says, when I throw charities, I don't take anything back. All the money I make goes back to the people insinuating that Danielle's profiting off this charity. Like Jen is a fucking, Jen goes so fucking low.
Starting point is 01:31:31 She's like, oh yeah, stealing from kids with cancer, huh? And she's like, no, we made $25,000 and that's what they got. So then she goes, look, if I drop the ball at that charity event, I apologize, all right? Cause you shouldn't, but you should the ball at that charity event, I apologize. All right? Cause you shouldn't, but you should talk to me before we start screaming and yelling. Cause you know what you do when you assume stuff, it makes the out of you and my brother.
Starting point is 01:31:53 Oh God. Bill says that to me all the time, except his version is when you assume you make an ass out of me that I want to pinch. Hey baby. So then the guys are still like, Oh, the statue with all his dick on it's hilarious. So then Jack, who's that? Joe and Jenna are saying hi to each other for the first time and kind of joking around together.
Starting point is 01:32:17 So it looks like that's gonna work out for now. And then Jackie, Dolores and Jen are talking now. So Jackie's like, why does Margaret go so low? Why does she go so low? She didn't go low. She didn't even do anything. She just said she didn't like that you're walking around starting fights with her.
Starting point is 01:32:33 Well, I think that Jackie is, she still thinks that like Margaret was trying to like talk to her about her mom at the baseball, like in the softball locker room when she said, oh, well that track, basically like, oh, that tracks that your mom hasn't even read it yet. So Dolores goes, listen, she told me you were upset that I didn't tag you in a post.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Is that real? Are you really upset with that? Are we back to dog with a bone status? She goes, well, I was, I was upset. Well, then call me. Well, I mean, I didn't shit talk you at all. I mean, I don't understand why I was left off, uninvited from the photo tagging and the Instagram photo.
Starting point is 01:33:03 So Margaret, who knows Jackie so fucking well, it goes, you know what? I just sent Dolores the screenshot of Jackie shit talking her. So Joe Joe tell her to look at her phone. So Joe Benino starts waving his phone to Dolores. So Dolores puts on her reading glasses. She's like, hold on. It's like, I've got to put on my readers. Give me a second.
Starting point is 01:33:26 I'm checking on my dog. I'm checking on my dog. Okay. Has the bat has, do we have a bat to get? No dog fell off the stairs and let me read this. It's a screenshot from Margaret. I probably shouldn't be saying this part out loud. And the text says, oh, it's from you, Jackie.
Starting point is 01:33:41 It says, I definitely think that's intentional. She's a fucking slob and I hate her. And Flores goes, I'm a fucking slob, a slob. She's like, oh no, that's so mean that she sent that to you. How could Margaret do something so mean? And she's like, oh, a slob. I'm a slob then. And she goes, no, I meant the situation with with slob, you know, not you personally, just the situation. She goes, oh, okay. She goes, well, I apologize for that. She goes, you should apologize. She goes, to me, you know, it's being slob. I mean, it's not great, but it's not bad. I mean, it just means your behavior is mean and stupid and juvenile.
Starting point is 01:34:18 That's all. You're officially done, ma'am. Okay? You're officially done. And you should watch out because Cause I know everybody's going to be like, Oh, really? And then March turns around and uses screenshots. Yeah. That's why, what are you thinking? You're going up against her for literally no reason. You can still be friends with Teresa. You're, she's like going after her for no reason. I'm not understanding how she's handling this. I mean, Jackie, do whatever you want. I've never really considered Jackie to be stupid, but this is plain stupid. This move.
Starting point is 01:34:48 It's just, it's wild. And it's just, Loris, like, you know what? I don't talk about you like that. Do I call you a dog with a bone? Do I call you pathetic? Do I call you a sad excuse for a person? Do I still, I call you someone who just begs to be disinvited from photo tagging opportunities? Yes, but I don't call you a slob, just so you know. And she's like, well, I didn't really mean you, okay? She goes, and the things that she says about you and Paul, horrendous, okay?
Starting point is 01:35:14 Margaret says horrendous things, and she doesn't put anything in writing, but she still says it. She goes, oh, then you know what she is? She's smart, okay? Guess she's a little smarter than you. Is she smarter than you? I think so. So then Dolores does a classic Dolores thing where she goes from where I'm from.
Starting point is 01:35:32 That's bad. Being called a slob from the girl. That's a hot mess every day crying all the time over everything. And I'm the slob. I'm the slob. Okay, Jackie. And yeah, Marcus should keep her mouth shut when she talks about me and Paul. But you know what I love is I feel like every season there comes a moment where someone says, you know, the thing with Dolores, she reminds me of like a stale piece of bread. Oh, where I'm from, where I'm from a stale piece of bread. You don't say that.
Starting point is 01:35:59 She always says like where I'm from. There's always some thing that's like not like the worst thing in the world. She's like, where I'm from. You don't call people that she's like out here talking about like twats on napkins and like, well, she's a real cut fitness. Whoa. Did you just say the S word slob where I'm talking about that? No, you don't do that. So then Melissa's like, what is going on over there? And Marge is like, you know what she is? She's an insecure psychotic,
Starting point is 01:36:24 the psychotic that I've stood by and I've cared for her and she's a nasty little asshole and I'm over it. Okay. That's it. You know what? Next time somebody is giving birth, I'm not going to go there and say, I support you for your entire life, baby. Okay. I'm going to wait. I'm going to give us some time. So that's it. That's the end of the episode, everyone thanks everyone here for for listening for hanging out and we will catch you On our next recap. Bye everyone. Bye Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Alice and King Ashley Savoni
Starting point is 01:36:58 She don't take no baloney trolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela Strolling the park with Caitlin Clark. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itchels! Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles. She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurt.
Starting point is 01:37:16 Zip some scotch with Jessica Tratch. She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We wanna hang with Liz Lang. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg. The Bay Area Betches, Betches.
Starting point is 01:37:34 And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlin O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish.
Starting point is 01:37:53 It's Jen Plish. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie. My favorite Murdo. Karen McMurdo. We love him madly.
Starting point is 01:38:03 It's Kyle Pod Shadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. Peyton, it's happening. We're finally being recognized for being very online. It's about damn time.
Starting point is 01:38:50 I mean, it's hard work being this opinionated. And correct. You're such a Leo. All the time. So if you're looking for a home for your worst opinions. If you're a hater first and a lover of pop culture second. Then join me, Hunter Harris. And me, Peyton Dix, the host of Wonderys newest podcast,
Starting point is 01:39:04 Let Me Say This. As beacons of truth and connoisseurs of mess, we are scouring the depths of the internet so you don't have to. We're obviously talking about the biggest gossip and celebrity news. Like it's not a question of if Drake got his body done, but when. You are so messy for that, but we will be giving you the b-sides, don't you worry. The deep cuts, the niche, the obscure. Like that one photo of Nicole Kidman after she finalized her divorce from Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 01:39:28 Mother, a mother to many. Follow, let me say this on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to episodes everywhere on May 22nd or you can listen ad-free by joining Wondery Plus and the Wondery app on Apple Podcasts.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.