Watch What Crappens - #2475 RHONJ S14E09 Part 2: Ladies Who Launch
Episode Date: July 1, 2024This is part two of a two-parterThis week on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Danielle has her twelfth launch party for her terribly designed clothing line, Rachel brings even more charisma to ...our screens, and Joe Gorga pats himself on the back for being nice to some gays. Watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
This is part two of the recap. If you missed part one, go check out your podcast feed.
It's right there. And without further ado, let's get right back into the recap.
So Jen Festler is like, well, if she did say that,
I'm with you in terms of like, you don't charge for your time when you're working for a charity.
I think that's really shitty. Did her voice drop like three octaves this episode? Did you know this?
She's her voice is getting more gravely than ever.
Is it? Yeah. I didn't really notice. I noticed that she seems a lot more desperate and weird
in this episode. I feel like normally if she comes off as somewhat confident where she's like, Oh, I'll be friends
with whoever I want to be friends with. I'm not going to worry about it. And what are
you going to do about it? I'm not, I'm not any one soldier. But I'm like, you're kind
of coming off like a soldier. You're coming off as everybody's soldier. And it's, it's
uncomfortable, you know? Yeah. So, um, she's, so Aya's like, you know, she has something in the hair extension happened
and I felt like she was going to sabotage her hair girl, which would be the worst thing that
we'd ever seen in our friend group, someone sabotaging their hair girl. Cause I was like,
she was like, are you getting paid? And I was like, no. And then she was like, well,
we should be getting paid. And doesn't she do your hair? I said, she's for free. Oh my God.
She does her hair, gets her hair done for free.
Is that horrific, guys?
Horrific.
So she's basically trying to,
she's trying to be like, look at this monster.
She, you know, she is, you know,
paying this girl back simply with exposure
by doing social for her,
which is really obnoxious if she does that.
But I just
feel like, I just don't believe that Jennifer Aiden really has a stake in it. Like, I don't
think that she would typically even care. I think she would just laugh at it and be like, well,
whatever, you know, she's, you know, so this, I don't know, it all feels like a good thing.
Here we go with two sides of this story that I kind of believe because Danielle is saying,
okay, well, this girl, I was just calling to warn Jen because this girl told her that this event was something else. Meanwhile, she's tricking Jen into showing
up and advertising for her, right? So, that sounded real. But now Jen is saying, no, she
was calling me to say, I just wanted to warn you, this girl's not going to pay you, and
I'm not doing this if I'm not getting paid, and like being totally nasty about this girl
paying them. So, I don't know, I'm not getting paid and like being totally nasty about this girl paying them. So I don't know. I think it could be all of the above. I think they are both admitting parts of it,
but I just still don't believe like Jennifer. I just don't think Jennifer Aiden is going to take
up on behalf of the hairdresser. I just don't unless she has an alternative. She is because
I think that they're all helping build a case against right. Right. I'm saying like in a normal
situation, she doesn't give a fuck of a hair if Danielle's hairdresser gets paid or not. Like Jennifer Aiden has other things she wants
to focus on. But in this case, it's very convenient because it helps her go after Danielle because
as Danielle said, Danielle doesn't want to do dirty work for her and Teresa anymore.
So now, you know, Jennifer is going to try to take her down.
Okay. So Fester's like, well, that is horrible. That's true. I mean, the extension lady, the
extension lady, the extension lady
Have we just lost all of our morals? But there must be something else, Jen. Is there something else? Is there? Tell me. Tell me
What is it, girl? Tell me what else there is. And she's like, it's not just this, you're right
Because you felt attacked by Danielle because she got so angry about the Laura thing
And I think that was when something clicked. It clicked when you got angry about the Laura thing. Am I right? Am I right? Let me pull it out of you. And she's like, it
was, it was, uh, that was my first red flag because she called me a freaking out saying,
it's a charity event. I don't want her there. I don't want her to be, I don't want to have
any part of it, baby. I was like, well, yeah, cause you're inviting like an enemy of the
state to obviously get them on TV at this party, Jen. Right.
So she's like, I've been trying so hard not to say anything because I still want to give it the
benefit of the day. But by the way, the way she yelled at me, like trying to make it seem like
I was trying to do something dirty. And it's like, what the hell? No, listen, let me tell you something.
She's very selfish, baby. So selfish. I wanted to give her the benefit of staff, but here's one thing I don't doubt.
She steals benefits from poor people.
That's for sure.
So then Teresa tries to do the thing that everyone's saying, which by the way, speaking
of Love Island USA, they say this all, like every scene.
So Teresa wants to say, your feelings are valid.
But instead she goes, your feelings are validated.
So by the way, congratulations.
Just don't take 10 minutes or more to unpack yourself
or you're just gonna have to pay any ways.
Jennifer Aiden had her feelings stamped at the reception desk
before she left the garage.
100%.
They're validated, but the thing is with me,
I feel like I'm in the middle.
Like, you know, like I feel bad.
Like I'm going to go to Danielle's event and you ain't going to be there.
So that's good.
I mean, I'm not going to tell you not to go, but I'm not going to not to tell you not
to go either, baby.
I'm disappointed because Teresa's like, I don't care.
I'm just starting the show.
I can go to whatever event I want.
You just have to deal with it.
I'm disappointed that Teresa that she's going.
I mean, I thought she was a loyal friend.
And now you go into a girl part, girls part of the hit me.
Like, that's no good, baby.
I'm disappointed.
My feelings are hurt.
My feelings are hurt, baby.
Yeah.
Yeah, but then your hand done nothing to me.
Yeah. And she goes, I don't care who it is. I mean, somebody punches you outside the head. Yeah, yeah, but then your hand on nothing to me. Yeah
Okay, I mean somebody punches you outside the head I'm not gonna like them whether they did something to me and I okay
No, I know I know I know
What ever never but I get it I get it you try to keep the peace and I know you just want us to make it because it puts you in a weird
Spot baby, and it may not bother you to think that she did
By the way, I love that you're okay and she's still friends with Danielle because I keep getting this pressure like I'm not a good friend
You know because when we talked at Nate's party Margaret and Rachel were mad at me
So I wish they could be like you and everybody not be mad that everybody that I'm friends with everybody
I mean, I just don't understand why everybody's so mad at me. I was like,
cause you're doing shit like this. Exactly.
You're not just going over to hang out. You're going over to talk shit about them and make them
the enemy and say, oh, they're so jealous that I'm friends with you. What the fuck is the point
of doing that? You weirdo. You're being a pick me now fest.
Yeah. Yeah. Because the thing is this, you see a flashback of Margaret saying, you know,
you can hang out with them. Just don't talk to them about me or her ever.
That's just, she's like, basically like hang out with them. It's fine.
But like, don't just like, don't bring me into anything. So of course,
Fester's like, and look, can you believe it?
Margaret and Rachel Fuder, who said I should never mention them in front of you
guys, they're putting pressure on me not to hang out with you. Can you believe it?
Yeah. And so she was like, well, I mean, I assume I'm a good friend. I mean, why do they
have to assume I'm a bad friend? You know, it's not like I'm stirring the pot, except that I'm
sitting here telling you that they don't want me to be friends with you because they absolutely
hate your guts. Yeah. So anyway, we go back to Flashback of last year. Well, I'm sorry,
Jennifer Aiden's like, I'll never forget the day when Margaret told me she will never love you as much as she loves me.
And we just go back to a year ago, Margaret saying, if you think, if you think Jennifer
Fess is ever going to fucking love you more than she loves me, you're a fucking idiot.
Is that what you think? You're the fucking idiot, baby. So anyway, then we come back
and now we're going to Margaret's kitchen and she is there.
She just got a box that has Jackie's book in it.
So after all this talk, she finally got Jackie's book.
She's like, Oh, Lexi, you just in time.
OK, guess what? I got Jackie's book.
All right. You want to look at it? OK, Jackie's book.
All right. It's called The Way of Beautiful.
It looks great. Looks great. Considering it was designed by an asshole. Psycho
bitch asshole.
You know what this should be called the weight of an asshole.
Okay. How many ounces does an asshole weigh? That's my
question. Okay. And like he's like, daddy's been juicy.
Oh, look, Lexi. Look, there's a note from the author. It's not even personalized.
It's like, I don't even know her.
Can you even believe this?
Oh, wait, hold on.
Let me see.
Oh, guess what?
On the back, it says, Margaret, I hate you.
I can't believe you do this to me and Dolores.
Okay.
So maybe it was personalized after all.
On the back, she's printed a text that I sent her years ago that said Dolores is fugly.
I don't know what she's trying to prove, but I'm not afraid.
Okay.
Now look, all the horrible things that she said about me and then that alone, she's trying
to say horrible things about me to Dolores.
Like who does that?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I feel like why are you trying to now get in between my relationships?
Like, what have I ever done to you?
I'm like making OK.
But the way everyone I just want America to know I'm making Joe a snack.
OK, because he's upstairs moving the lights around in the closet.
So I think he wants to kill me.
OK, he wants to kill me more than the doctor wants to kill me.
OK, all right. All right.
I'm going to bring him a snack.
All right, Lex, you want to come upstairs to give him a snack?
OK, you know, but let's go up and visit baby Joe.
But you know what, just like with Chucky,
she showed me who she is, and it's actually very, very sad.
Joe, an asshole weighs six ounces, yes or no?
We're taking votes.
Lexi's like, well, you know what I mean?
If the mission is to get the people in the place
to get sell the book, then I mean she's doing a good job.
He's like, okay, all right, Lexi, just don't talk so much. Okay. It's just very confusing
to Joe. He's trying to rearrange the lights.
What is getting people in a fluster? I don't even know what that means. Okay. You know
what? Joseph, human asshole. How much does it weigh? Six ounces. I told you. I told you.
10 out of 10, Joe's agree.
Joe, what weighs more? A human asshole or this babka that I brought you? Cause I brought
you this babka, I feel guilty. He goes, yeah, yeah, she changed all the lights when she goes, yeah,
because I told him where to put the lights originally, but then BJ moves stuff around. So
now we have to move lights around. It's crazy. It's like literally nuts. You know what? Rome
didn't get cam lights in a day. You know what? It's going to be fluted wood, and then we're
going to do brass handles. And then we're gonna do brass handles and then
we're just gonna put up a portrait here of my former friend Jackie Goldstein. So I always
remember what an asshole looks like when I get dressed. I've been wanting a closet like
this forever. You know what? I have a section for all my hair pieces. The drawers are gonna
pull out for the shoes. It's gonna be amazing. You know what I want to see though in here?
Nothing. Nothing. Everything's got to be behind closed doors because I'm sick of seeing shit.
All right?
There's a little Joe closet right there.
Okay?
Joe, right now we're letting you out on the ladder right now because you've got canned
lights to do and PSA drama.
Okay?
But the rest of the time he's back in there.
All right, Joe, I hid the Bobcat somewhere in the closet.
You got to find it.
If you don't find it in time, you got to install another light up there on the ceiling.
Okay, go.
Oh, God.
I shouldn't even say Bobcat because it makes me think of my ex-friend, Jackie
Sopka. Okay, always crying, always crying.
You know, Bravo said, you know what, this episode is going to air on the last day of
Pride Month and so Joe Groga got the gay wedding and I got the closet. What can I say? That
was for you, Joan. That was for you.
That was for you, Joan. That was for you.
Alright, well I'm going to work. I'm so hippie about this
Clousy, with the car
Clousy is going to.
Okay, Lexi, you know what? Here's what I need you to do.
Just eat some bob because I don't have to hear your strange accent.
All right? Just, just stop your face with it.
All right, bye, Lexi. Get out of here. We're gonna have a scene.
All right.
You know what, Lexi? We have something very serious to do.
Go downstairs, find Marlany,
and have an accent off. Okay? Joe, come over here. We're calling the doctor, Joe, because
we haven't heard from the doctor. And he's like, well, if it was bad, they would have
called me, right? She was, oh, please, that's not how it works. And get over here, Joe.
Hi, this is Margaret Joseph, Joe Benino's wife. We're waiting for the test results.
Get the doctor on the phone right now.
Get the doctor. Get the doctor's stat. Get Get the doctor stat. Okay, does he need some babka? Okay. Hey Lexi, send some babka to the doctor. Okay. And then
send some to Jackie Goldstein. Throw it at her head and say, that's what assholes get.
So the doctor's like, hi. Well, guess what? It was abnormal. It was abnormal?
Okay. Are you talking about Joe's PSA? You're talking about Jackie's behavior. He's like,
honestly, both. But the eco score should have been about 20. It's about 70. Okay.
I don't like that. I don't like that. You know what? Joe, you got the wrong PSA score. Do you
know what you're going to do? Move that camp light over to the left, two feet.
Joe, I told you to put some seafoam polishes onto your prostate. What did you do? You didn't do it.
And now you got a high PSA. This is what happens. Dr. Justin Marchegiani Okay. You know what? So what am I gonna do? And he's like,
listen, it's a chance it's prostate cancer, but you know, because the PSA is slightly abnormal,
we're finding it early. So that's good. So we're gonna do an MRI, a biopsy. You know,
if it shows something, we're gonna target it. That's what you do.
Dr. Justin Marchegiani So wait, I'm sorry. I'm right. You know,
that's what I call Jackie, most ridiculous idiot. Okay. Okay.
So when we schedule it, he's like, all right, well, you know what?
We'll reach out to you.
It's like, no, well, I want to know.
Okay.
I want to know sooner rather than later.
Like rapido.
Rapido.
I speak Spanish.
You know what?
Here's, here's, here's when I want my prostate cancer results.
Rapido.
Okay.
No momento mas.
Tu chenes.
Yo caro.
Well, don't worry. We will do it. ASAP. ASAP.
I also call that to Jackie asshole, stupid,
uh, also again, asshole again, person.
That's right. Asshole, stupid asshole again, person ASAP.
All right. Bye. Thank you. Bye. So, um, she cried, you know, because this is really sad.
I'm only laughing during the scene because I'm assuming that this all turned out okay
because we would have read about it, right?
Yeah, I'm sure it's fine.
Yeah.
Um, I mean, I hope so, but this, you know, like, to be honest, this is how I deal with
dark stuff even in real life, I laugh at everything.
I'd literally stopped speaking at funerals because I make jokes during the
funeral. That's just my nervous habit. This is how I deal.
So here's the PSA for everyone. If Ronnie has to talk about PSA,
he's going to make jokes about it. PSA wordplay.
That's what I was doing right there. I liked it. Um,
so then we go to the bougie kids relaunch party.
So everybody's prepping and Daniel's like today's the day you're ready.
Great job on the decorations. Kayla. Thanks. All right.
My whole vibe was like Katy Perry, cotton candy fireworks coming out of the
intense music video. All right.
Yeah, that's not a good theme to have. Just want to say right now,
let's not do this. And Kayla's like, you know what? Here it is. Here it is. Danielle, if you like, vomit, this is probably what it looks like.
Oh, she says like, if you vomit, this is probably what it looks like. Oh, both working. If you
like vomit, I mean, I guess both of them actually work for the scene. Either reading works.
So Kayla's like, Mike's gonna spray paint the logo.
What would you say, Ben?
If you like vomit.
If you like vomit.
Yeah.
So Mike's gonna spray paint the logo.
We're gonna turn on this disco ball.
And then he was like, oh yeah,
that superstar DJ is here, hey Ken.
And it's like some five year old up there like,
I know. He's like, Chris, Stan,
I'm not taking any more of your crap, Chris, Stan.
God, you know that Danielle has driven her kids to auditions for like
kids bop music videos so many times. Oh, yeah.
So she's like setting up the stuff and everything.
And Kayla's like, I love she's like, by the way, are you wearing a crystal broad Danielle? She's like, yeah, I'm like Selena. It's like,
let's, let's keep Selena out of this. Let's not, let's, I don't think Selena would have approved
by it. When she said that Selena's like, it's like, it it's like I'll be night marrying about this scene tonight
Baby baby boozy
So Kayla's like so a crystal bra for a children's event. I wouldn't expect anything less from you
And she's like damn now that you got me thinking is it not appropriate to wear crystal proud or kids sing? I mean what the heck?
Well, I mean I mean who's coming is your father
Oh, yeah, well my father actually of all the times of all the times for this to happen. Oh, no, really?
Yeah, so like, you know, this is so much stuff that my father's missed out on it
I'll be really nice for him to come and my but now of course my hoo-ha's are out
So he's that's gonna make it awkward. Oh my god
I can already imagine him right now sitting there with a boner with a fist in his mouth crying
She's like, I'm sure I'm sure your dad's seen worse. It's fine. Hey, don't talk about my mom like that
She's the only one of my family. I'm still talking to all right
so the kids arrive and everything and
and
Danielle's telling everyone to come in and stuff. She's like, come on in, we're gonna have to put
tints on your hand if you're gonna go back.
We'll put your shoes on and we're gonna decorate your shoes
and we'll do photos and make sweatshirts.
It'll be really fun.
So shocking news, guys, her dad's not coming.
Okay, David has to break the news.
He could possibly have COVID.
And she looks kind of disappointed
because he's ruining her season finale in her head.
So she's, you just see her like,
there's something my brother, what I told them to do.
Yeah, you sort of see that she doesn't really believe it
too, by the way.
But she also doesn't want to be a COVID denier,
like a dad COVID denier on TV.
So it's like, you know what,
even though my dad couldn't be here,
I mean, the fact that I invited him and he said, yes, you know, I think I'm on the right path here.
I mean, I want to keep trying, you know, maybe we can be in each other's company. I'm like,
he is the one who's been wanting to be back in your life. And you're like,
I think we made good progress in that he said yes to my invitation. It's like, yeah,
he's been waiting all this time. Yeah. So then Rachel comes and she's like, this is going to be so fun. Are you
excited? I just saw a cat with three legs in the street. Here comes food, bringing in
the fun. Fun food. Here she is everybody. So, um, yeah, they're in there. Everyone's
saying hi and everything. Rachel's like, Oh my God, it said dress casual casual and like you're in Swarovski crystals from head to toe, honey.
Oh my goodness.
She's like, yeah, well, you know what?
You know what?
This is casual for me, you know?
Thanks for coming, hon.
Can I just guarantee you something?
Those are not Swarovski crystals.
I was about to say.
I'm sorry. Let's be honest.
Claire's boutique at best.
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Nancy's love story could have been ripped right out
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So Fessler comes and she's like, listen, I don't think anybody expected the fight to
escalate to that point.
Let's talk about it some more.
Let's talk about it every minute of the goddamn day.
Are the ladies here?
Am I talking to you?
Do they see me talking to you?
They're going to murder me.
They hate when I talk to you.
I love talking to you.
Are we friends?
Are we not friends? What's going on ladies? Am I right? Oh, they're here. I'm hate when I talk to you. I love talking to you. Are we friends? Are we not friends? What's going on ladies in my ride? Oh, they're here. I'm gonna go talk to them. They're my friends. Just kidding
I hate those girls over there. Do you hate them? I'm gonna be friends with them. I don't care what you think
What do you think about me being friends with those girls? Why is everybody so mad at me?
What's wrong with her? I know and Rachel's like well, you know the narrative online is like it's like outrageous
Like I saw Danielle breaks glass on Jennifer. I'm like yo what goes on what what goes under?
What goes on with bloggers and Danny does what happened that night?
What she said to me was the most horrific thing about me
And it wasn't true and also I realized the person I thought was a friend of mine
It's the darkest human being on the face of the earth. And that triggers me.
And let me tell you what triggered me.
I stole from charity.
I stole from charity.
And Tiffany's like, hi, I'm Tiffany.
I am here to play the role of friend of, yes, hi, hi America.
What?
I didn't hear that.
I didn't hear that at all.
Say that again.
So we see the flashback of Aiden saying,
oh yeah, you said you were going to pay yourself
back and then you were, everything was donated.
And then he goes, what do you mean, paying myself back for what?
She goes, for whatever it cost you.
I don't know who to believe.
So then we cut back and she goes, in that split second, I lost the friends.
You know, there are a lot of horrible things to be said in the world saying that someone
steals from a charity. It's probably top five other than murdering someone.
Like, okay.
Double dildos, number three.
Saying someone was a drug dealer when they were 16. Number one, number one.
Number one. Definitely number one. General arthritis comments, number two. Ronnie, you're number two, worst in the world.
So then, first it was like, well, I know that she thinks you just didn't pay for it,
that you made money on it. Is that what she thinks? And then he was like, that's psychotic.
So I'm glad to hear Danielle just straight up say, no, that's not true. You know,
because I like Danielle. That's's pretty bad. But she's doing that. So Rachel's like to question someone's integrity.
And then Kayla's like, it's a really serious accusation.
Get out of the way, Tiffany.
I'm the friend of today.
And then Rachel's like, she's questioning her integrity.
I can't believe anyone would question the integrity of a woman wearing a Swarovski bra
at a children's events.
And Rachel's like, there hasn't been one time in the past three times we've been together, which have all been boozy events shockingly.
And it's a different accusation every single time.
Headdresser number one, headdresser number two.
And now it's the charity event.
How many things are there going to be?
Hi, Tiffany is here back again. Hi. So well, I also thought Danielle didn't think it would
escalate because you know, they've been friends since the charity event. And none of this was
ever brought up. Score one for Danielle. Suck it, Kayla.
I'd actually pray to God that Haley has mercy on the family. I just say God, please have mercy on
the family when you come to when you come to lay the karma down on a stupid ass.
All right, don't take it out on the eagle.
Don't take it out on the eagle, God.
Well, Danielle, she didn't sleep with your husband.
I mean, it's a bit ridiculous, am I right?
Yeah, but she shoved me aggressively.
Oh well, but she tells a very different story
than that as well.
And she's like, what? She has a different story than that as well. And she's like, what?
She has a different story than her.
She haven't me aggressively.
And first of all, I'm going to tell you, she said that you were in her face
and she was like feeling threatened.
And so I pushed her and then she choked and then she clocked me.
Did you see it, Tiffany?
And then I was like, I couldn't punch her.
It's your moment, Tiffany. Come on, say something.
She dot dot dot.
Then you say I couldn't punch it
I had a cup in my hair. I'm gonna play someone with a cup. It's on camera. You smashed the cup into her head
That's how you do it
Tiffany's like she just threw a drink. She just threw a drink. Okay. Sorry. So I was a little late on that response
I didn't realize it was my turn yet. But yeah, she threw a drink do a drink
So she's like well, I don't know if you punched her or you clocked it
Did you punch her did you clock her her. Did you punch her or did you clock her?
Pick one of those two.
Punch her, clock her, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm
Don't lie to me, we're friends, don't forget it.
Well, I think you would have known if Danielle would have punched her.
I mean, like, I hear you've got a mean right hook.
Am I right, Danielle?
And Danielle's like, yeah, thank God the cup was in my hand to prevent my hand from
crushing against her skull when I when I shoved the
cop into her hand with a punch fist.
How am I going to shoot somebody if I got a gun in my hand?
I'm supposed to do two things at one time.
Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
Boots and kids kill people.
But people, people don't punch punch people cops punch people if I call if
my cup punch somebody I'm sorry all right I'll apologize and then I'll pay
myself for the time it took to apologize listen do you get mad at the car if the
person drives it into a stonewall somebody in the car when I'm driving the car. Come on.
Don't say that word, please. Don't worry. We're about to in a few moments.
Everybody stop saying the word analogy.
My name is Gia.
Jude ice coming soon to my own show on Bravo.
I know.
So cut back to Danielle.
Danielle was like,
cause Dolores comes in and Danielle's saying,
you know what, you know what, Fessler,
your friendship is coming at a cost
and there is no good in that person right there.
Of course I'm talking about my father.
Have you been texting with my dad?
So Dolores comes over and she goes,
oh, hi everybody.
Rachel, I just kissed you.
No, she goes, Rachel, hey, Danielle,
I just kissed your daughter, all right?
She thought someone was trying to kidnap her.
I mean, just cause I handed her a clipboard and said,
guess what, you work for the electric company now,
suddenly that's kidnapping.
It's called getting him a job. But it's good enough for Morgan Freeman. Listen, I told you to go over there and said, guess what you are for the electric company now. So I'm like that's kidnapping. It's called giving him a job.
But listen,
I told you to go over there and read that media.
You little idiot.
Are you getting docked?
So, um,
now Teresa and, um,
Teresa and Gia and, uh,
Melania show up,
which by the way,
why does she bring Gia Melania to this event?
See,
that's what's weird.
Like no person over seven wants to come to this event unless they're an adult who has kids.
So the fact that these grown, well, Gia is a grown young woman and Melania is in high school.
This is just, I feel like this is almost like, like, you can't come for me because I got my
daughters here. I think Teresa is just trying to keep them on TV.
She's trying to get them spinning off onto TV shows because it worked.
I mean, she has got a TV.
She really does have a TV show coming out.
So I don't know.
But yeah, I don't need it.
Finally a state, finally a platform for that magnetic personality.
And finally, we get some Bravo Nepo babies.
Yeah.
Why should only talented Nepo babies get jobs?
Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for saying the truth.
So then Danielle's like, Oh, I want to explain to you the photo shoot tool. And
so they start talking about the photo shoot thing, the hair extension thing. So
Danielle's like, Okay, we got this mutual hairdresser, Marissa. All right, and we
want to do right by her. And Dolores goes, this is her hair.
Do not make me say anything against her. I won't do it.
Well, I spoke to Jenny on the phone and I said, I just want you to know your picture is going to be
on the website and you're probably not going to get paid for it. And oh my God, thank you. Thank
you so much. I didn't know this and that. Thank you so much. So now this is Danielle's side of it,
which is like, I let her know, like, don't expect to get paid, which I kind of
believe Danielle in this. I imagine, I can imagine Danielle saying, just so you know,
like this is free. So don't start trying to ask my friend for money. And I imagine Jen,
Jen Aiden saying like, and she was telling me we're not even getting paid for this. Can
you believe it? Cause we're not getting paid. Well, we've also seen how Jen is.
Like Jen got mad just last week that she didn't get-
Got on the step and repeat.
Get the surgery thing put up on the, she didn't get a free ad, so she wanted to be paid to
be there.
So we know that Jen is like, when am I getting paid?
What am I getting out of this?
Because she's mentioned it a million times.
Like either I did this for free and I didn't get anything. Like it's the biggest thing she's ever done for somebody. Or why didn't you even put my
husband's name up on the step and repeat? So we know how she is. So I could imagine somebody
calling her and being like, Jen, I know that you agreed to do this, but you're not getting paid for
that. Or even if Danielle did call her bitching about it and saying, I can't believe this girl is
asking us all to do this shit and not even paying us like a day rate.
And then Jen bitching at her.
But either way is fine because you're calling to bitch
to your friend, which you should be able to do.
Yeah.
So Rachel is like, I would rather talk to any toddler
at this party than Teresa.
I mean, let's be honest.
They can probably hold a conversation
better than she can anyway.
That's called a food burn food burn.
Anyone?
No one?
Look, I'm going to show you how it works.
Give me a high five.
Your reflexes are great.
Congratulations.
You're not invited to camp.
Go have fun.
Like, here she is bringing the fun.
So then faster is like, okay, Teresa, now that you're here, I need backup.
But what were we talking about?
Jen Aiden, we were just talking about Jen Aiden, right? And then I was like, I don't want to be talking about this anymore and Teresa like I know you're not ready to talk
But you guys gotta hash it out. You know, you guys gotta do without getting physical
Yeah, but like everything I do was the opposite of what she's accusing me of yeah
I know but like I don't think she tried to hurt you or nothing
She goes yeah, but when you say something like that, like it's a lie.
She goes, yeah, but you know what?
I don't know, Jim, the makeup stories, you know, I'm just saying.
So then like, how could you say that?
I mean, she's saying that I stole from the charity.
That's what she, that's what she did.
That's what we stole.
She's, oh no, she didn't say that.
She just said that you stole from the charity.
That's all.
Yeah, what you so mad about?
And so she's like, listen, I'm not expecting Mother Teresa over here to like show up and
bash Jennifer, but like girl, you're going messed up, just say that, alright? She'll
still be your friend, trust me, trust me, that girl's gonna still be your friend, alright?
I'll be totally honest with you, okay? I was shocked. I was like, Oh my God, you are dark.
You are dark. You are evil. You are evil. I mean, no, I'm telling you Daniel is my friend.
I don't think she's an evil person. I mean, like Margaret is evil. Am I right? Everyone
in my right? What's the deal with Mark with Joseph's? Teresa ham handed trying to stay on message.
You know, who's evil? Margaret.
Margaret in the mood of all evil. So she's like, and then she even says,
how could you even call Jennifer evil when your friends was Satan herself?
So Margaret walks in and says, hello, hello, hello, everybody. Oh my God. So good
to see you. What is this? Bougie kids? I mean, it's bougie adult suit. Like literally everybody's
bougie. Most amazing party I've ever been to. Sick. It's sick.
I have supported this party ever since I was alive. My entire life I've supported this
party. My God. look at this. This is
wonderful. Look, you've done so much, Danielle. Look at what you've accomplished in this last
year. You figured out a way to put a tutu onto a leotard, but we'll talk about more
after this. Okay. About all this. Let's just be in this positivity.
You've used duck feathers, cow print and leopard print in one outfit. This is amazing. Is that
fringe from the bottom of curtains? That is, I mean, it's like, what is this? A sound of musak?
I mean, wow, it's beautiful. Finally, you found a place for pipe cleaners in fashion. Bravo.
And here's why I like Margaret because she, everybody else is like, what happened? Are you okay?
What really happened? Margaret knows exactly what happened with that even being there. And she just walks in and she goes, hi,
so good to see you. Listen, I don't want you stooping to that level. That physical level is
disgusting. Don't do that. You're better than that. You've got so many things. I mean, look how much
you've accomplished in a year. You've made literally 90% of the children in this neighborhood look like
monsters, horrors. Please, just you've got so much going for you. Stop fighting. And then she just
drops it and moves on, you know?
Yeah.
So then Danielle's like, I worked my ass off for this.
And the last thing I want to do is discuss this bullshit.
I'm not even going to think about it anymore.
Like, OK, you're probably going to start talking about it
to five other people now.
So she does like a thing when she gets everyone together.
She's like, all right, what are we going to do?
A countdown for the new relaunch of bougie kids?
Everybody ready? Everybody ready? Five, four, three, two, one. Oh, by the way,
sorry. I know we just hit the countdown,
but we're going to do another relaunch in about 10 minutes. Just get ready.
Everyone. I love that. We're going to do a relaunch for the relaunch of bougie
kids. We're going to do a countdown right now. All right, everybody.
Five, four, three, two, guess what? Now it's called bougie kids
All right. All right without a climactic
So Melissa comes in she sees Rachel. She's like, how are you? She's I'm fine. I'm just tired
I was talking to Danielle and Jen fast low and Tiffany and Kayla and Jen was getting like crazy defensive about Jennifer Aiden
I was physically uncomfortable.
I'm like, how do you think everyone feels when your ostrich self walks into any conversation?
So then Fessler is talking to Teresa and she's like, Oh, I feel like Danielle and I got a
good, got good. Now she's upset with me all over again because I defended Jen. And she
is like, did you defend Jen?
She's like, no, I'm friends with a bulldozer mom, so I ain't going to defend nobody.
And she's like, everyone in this room except for you, Gia, say the most ugly, disgusting
things and they don't necessarily mean them.
I mean, when you're angry, people lose control.
Am I right?
Thank God for Gia, the mature one, the one who doesn't try and stop fights with strangers
for no reason.
Right Gia?
Right Gia the mature one the one who doesn't try and stop fights with strangers for no reason right Gia right Gia right
Can I ask you something?
Did John Fuda try to reference me in some like wrong way?
Like apparently I guess he tried to compare like our ages being like oh well around the
age that Gia did this, like, you know, like what? Teresa, no, no, Teresa, no, Teresa, no, no, Teresa.
No, it's not happening, Teresa.
And she's like, uh-huh, no, no, no, he went to jail.
She didn't go to jail, you know,
so why is he making an analogies?
Like, why is he doing that?
And Gina's like, yeah, my mom heard
that he was making a comparison or an analogy.
Oh my God, please. I can't have another year.
Not the analogies again. And we see last week when like the moment that John Fuda
brought up G Gia and the analogy, I was like, this is going to get back to
Teresa. It's going to be bad think that's why he did it.
Well, but it didn't even make, he didn't even,
it wasn't even actually a good use.
It was like a meta analogy.
He was comparing like his situation to that situation.
It was not great.
He was comparing his, he was saying,
why is it inappropriate to say things
about a 17 year old like Gia,
when they were saying things about a 17 year old me?
Which is a real clunky, clunky line of logic.
We see why he is not going to law school. So, um,
so then Teresa's like, he's like, that's the same thing that happened to me.
And she's like, yeah, what happened to him was not an analogy. It was in fact,
his past, but like, you know what? I don't do coke. I don't do
coke. Okay? Gia doesn't do coke. And she goes, don't use my name in an analogy. Jackie, Fuda,
I don't care who you are, mention your own kid's name.
Well, I hope they paid you well for this episode. Go away now. Bye. So Teresa's like, well,
he got that, he got kids too. I would never bad mouth his kids. And
she's like, Oh my God, I swear to God, Teresa is not bad mouthing Gia. Teresa, please, Teresa.
And Gia's like, well, Paul told Dolores about it. Let me go get Dolores then. I'm not going
to Dolores.
So then we see Judah doing his analogy flashback. And now we see Gia and Jen Fess are talking about
and Teresa and Dolores have joined and Fess is like,
no, what he was saying was,
what happened to her and Jackie
and knowing that she was innocent
but she was still getting the slander.
That's how he felt when you called him a drug dealer.
That's it, it's all fine and innocent.
He was putting it into perspective.
You would get mad that somebody talks about you daughter
at that age.
And you know what? The price of electricity has gone up because more people use electricity.
What are you going to do? Okay, just pay your bill.
No, yeah. He was not trying to accuse Gia Watt.
I meant like he was not trying to accuse you of Watt.
Not no. I'm saying Watts.
They're a unit of electricity, right?
Well, not quite.
It's more like light bulbs and stuff.
That was a good dry.
But like the comparison of me and my situation,
like that was a, you're an adult,
like talk about your own stuff.
Cause like I'm a kid and kids don't like analogic.
Can somebody put a new battery in Gia, please?
I know.
She's 20. How is she like this already? Put a battery in her and wind her up. Do something
or get her gone.
So now Jen Fest, after this, goes over to Melissa, Margaret, and Lexi and Rachel's there.
Melissa's like, Hey, where have you been? What's going on?
Talking shit.
She goes, well, I was explaining to Gia and Teresa
that John Fuda would never bring up Gia's name.
And then they're like, oh my God,
why are you talking about John Fuda to them?
Cause by the way, it does, in this show in particular,
being the messenger never works out.
It is, but no one's even sending messages.
It's like, you know what, no one wants to
messenger when they've got bad news, but they especially don't want the mailman just hanging
out outside your house all day. Like, it's weird. You know what I mean? Go to a park,
dude.
Pete So, then Melissa's like, why are you doing this? And then Rachel goes, you're
obsessed with me. And she walks away.
Jared And then she goes, what the fuck? She's like, well, why are you talking about food? Melissa's like,
why are you, you know, it's going to piss her off, right? And Rachel's like, what is wrong with this
woman? Okay. We've asked you multiple times to not get involved. What part of don't defend my
husband are you not understanding? I need space. Well, you know what? You got to stop campaigning
for them. And she's like, Oh my God, I was
campaigning for her. No, I know. But I know, I know you, I know what you're trying to do.
Okay, just don't. Okay, don't campaign for her. Okay. Here's a PSA for you. Don't campaign
for her.
And they're like, listen, they don't want to talk about John Fuda. Stop talking about
John Fuda. She's like, but she brought it up. I said, G said John Fuda. G said John Fuda. I was like, yeah, but you're coming over here to try and talk
about the fight and who's right in the fight and who's side you're on. And then you're trying to
stick up for Jen Aiden. And then you're trying to, you're doing too much.
Pete Slauson Well, also, it's like, Gia has this conception of what happened and Jen Fess was like,
no, no, no, it wasn't like that. But don't then go over to the other group and be like,
guess what I just did? I just offended you to Gia. Like, just keep it over there Fest was like, no, no, no, it wasn't like that. But don't then go over to the other group and be like, guess what I just did.
I just defend you. Like just keep it over there. And like, you don't,
you don't have to tell the other group what you just told that group. Okay.
You don't have to like get your branding points for, for defending people.
Yeah, that's what's so weird.
It's like she's going from group to group trying to win points by tattletaling on
the other group by also telling this current group not to be mad that she's
talking to the other group and then she goes to the other group and rants in a repeat.
It's weird behavior.
Yeah. So, I just can't do this anymore. And she was like, what just happened? She's like,
well, I just had a sexual fantasy about James Gandolfini. I just can't do it anymore. Oh,
but also Rachel just got furious because I said I was defending John Fuda.
Yeah. So then basically, Margaret's like, just stop. I'm telling you, just stop. No, I'm not
going to stop because I need to save John Fuda from it. Basically it just goes on and
on and Fessler is taking it like no one is listening to me. They brought it up and I
was actually sticking up for John Fuda. Now everybody's mad at me, but you know, like
we've said a million times, she's digging this hole for herself and pretty much only her.
So then it cuts to Teresa and of course Teresa leaves
because that's Teresa's like,
I've been here the longest out of anybody on this show,
bye, I'm leaving the Teresa show, have fun, bye.
Yeah, and now Rachel's like, you know what?
You wanna have my back, Jen Pestler?
I know that you and you and you and you girls will have my back,
but Jen Fessler tries to justify things.
And then she's basically saying
that Jen Fessler is doing too much.
So then Melissa's like, yeah, Jen Fessler stops.
She's like, oh my God, they said it, they said it.
I was standing up for him.
It just keeps going on and on and on.
So Rachel's like, I'm going. And so she's talking to Danielle and Danielle's like,
well, thanks for coming to bougie kids number four. And then she was like, uh,
I don't, you know what? I'm just so irritated. I mean, Jen Fessler,
she should wear a t-shirt and say,
I'm up to Reese's ass and Jennifer Aiden's ass on the back of it.
That's what the t-shirt should say. It's like, oh my God,
you can't even make a fun t-shirt.
Well, it is better than bougie kids.
I will say that.
This t-shirt hurts.
And then they high five.
They high five over it like, that was a good one.
That was a good one.
That was pretty good.
That's going to be spring line 2025.
Oh gosh, what a show. Yeah, that was the end of the episode. So basically Jen Fessler is getting
herself into a stupid stink and Rachel Fuda is still bothered. Even though she has,
even though she is with kids with arthritis and she's realizing
they're just way worse things to worry about, she decided that even though there are way
worse things to worry about, she's still going to focus on the stupid shit and still be mad
over the stupid thing.
Pete Larkin Pretty mad. She's going to sweat the small
things, god damn it. Nobody's going to stop her.
Pete Larkin Yeah.
Pete Larkin That brings us to the end of Real Housewives
of New Jersey. Super fun. This is going up a little late today, but hopefully you'll get it in time to come to happy hour tonight. And if you don't,
it's every other Monday, you can find that win over on our Instagram at Watch What Crappins.
Thanks for everybody who's here on Crappins On Demand, listening to bonuses, all that good stuff.
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