Watch What Crappens - #2504 RHOC S18E04 Part 1: Don’t Get All Putt Hurt
Episode Date: August 2, 2024This is part one of a two-part recap!Katie hosts a golfing event on The Real Housewives of Orange County, and just when she thinks she’s got a hole-in-one against Heather, it turns out to b...e more of a bogey. Watch this recap as a video and get our Love Island bonus episodes at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now.
Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just
love to talk about.
I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today, as usual, is just the wonderful and lovely Mr.
Ronnie Karen.
Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well, hello, Ben.
Hi, how was your day going so far?
Good. Bueller's back with me. He's back home. Can you see him there?
Oh, where is Bueller?
He's just behind the microphone. He's just chilling there on the bed behind me.
Great. So yeah, so I've got my little baby back home.
So I'm very excited.
And, oh God, now of course I've messed up the whole camera and everything, but I'm excited.
Everything's going great.
So excited to talk Orange County, Ben.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Orange County, another big episode, okay?
Because this one, this is episode four.
It was also the first episode where we get tag lines. I didn't even realize but you know, you know, I've been
loving ever since last year, the remixed Orange County theme
song, you know, when they finally add like a little drum
machine to it, or it's like, every time I like actually
listening to opening credits, like two or three times, because
I loved the I love the way that they have like remixed it. So,
so that's my we haven't gotten the taglines, right?
Because I noticed them yesterday and I thought,
wow, how have I not noticed these taglines?
We have not gotten them.
And so that's why I was so excited
because I was like, the song is back.
I didn't even realize it that we hadn't had it yet.
But like once I heard it, I was like, yes.
And I was, you know, was jamming out to it.
All right. Well, let's go over them. Well, first of all, they have oranges flying at everybody's
faces, which I kind of like. They're like, guys, let's make this more modern. Get some 3D oranges
and let's just have them fly all over everybody. I was like, wow, it's changed everything.
Guys, it has changed everything. I'm loving the rebrand.
Yeah, so we start with Heather who says,
just because I drink from a flute
doesn't mean you can play me, which is, you know,
it's a little bit of a stretch, that one.
I don't know if I, I don't know,
I don't know if that's like my favorite Heather line
of all time.
I think it's like, it's a.
I don't know that anybody would compare Heather to the sweet sound of all time. I think it's like, it's a... I don't know that anybody would compare Heather
to the sweet sound of music ever.
I'm just imagining someone trying to play Heather
like a flute, just pushing her,
their fingers on her sternum.
It's weird.
It's a weird concept.
Playing her rib cage.
So Peter and the Wolf flute.
I'm looking up to see what the flute,
the flute orchestra excerpts.
Okay, what is the flute in Peter and the Wolf?
Oh, that's the bird.
Okay.
And the duck is the opal.
Oh, she's not the bird.
Okay, then I think if Heather's the flute,
then Emily would be the duck.
She'd be like.
Buh-duh-duh, buh-duh-duh, buh-duh-duh.
My storyline this season is I have to go pee.
Because that's all Emily does this whole episode is wackily pee in places.
Why is Emily still here?
Get rid of Emily.
And I don't like this narrative online that everybody's like, Oh my God,
Emily's really coming to her own.
No, she hasn't.
Literally all she does is talk about peeing.
Okay.
Yeah.
I feel like last season Emily had come into her own. But this
season. Yeah, I did not love Emily this episode. Last week,
you know, you were saying that you were like, get rid of this
version of Emily, we want the other Emily. And I was like,
Yeah, maybe. But this episode, I really felt it. I felt like
Emily, I'm like, mmm, I'm just not feeling I just don't
understand the Emily and Gina thing. I don't understand how they have been on this show
for so long, okay?
Both of them, maybe keep one,
but both of them, I don't get it.
So then we have a Shannon Bedore sentence
that only Shannon Bedore could make,
even in the harshest of times.
And then it cuts to Shannon like tap dancing,
like doing that, it's not a shuffle.
What do you call it when you just swing your arms?
It's like old timey.
It's like you're running in place,
the legs are going back, the hands are going forward.
I was gonna ask how they do that.
But kind of doing the monkey with your arms
and your legs at the same time.
I don't know how to explain it.
Hello, my darling, hello, my darling.
Hello, my David, David, David.
So even in the harshest of times,
this storms will always weather it.
I kind of got lost in that one.
Yeah, I'm like, don't you, you weather the storm.
The storm doesn't weather anything.
If that line was a shirt, Heather,
I mean, Shannon would be in it
and not quite able to find the hand holes
and her arms would just be swinging around
while the shirt was covering her face.
She just never quite got herself into it, you know?
Yeah, I feel like it was like a chat GPT or maybe like,
I almost wonder if we asked chat GPT,
would chat GPT be able to come up with like a better tagline
for Shannon Badour because I just feel like that's like,
it just, there's something about it
and the harshest of times,
the storms will always weather it.
It like, it doesn't, like it's just not working for me.
Okay, well let's do it.
How do we do it?
How do we ask Chep, GPT?
Can you create a Real Housewives of Orange County tagline
for Shannon, Shannon Baddour. And it says, okay, this
is yours chat GPT's response. Living large and loud because a
little trauma never hurt anyone.
Okay, here's the one. Here's the one mine came up with stirring
the pot and serving up drama, season 18's Queen of Chaos.
I'll say, do a Shad and Bedor tagline.
I'll say, add a pun about storms.
Okay, now it says, stirring up a storm
because calm is overrated.
It's a little bit better.
Okay, I'm gonna do one for Heather Dubrow.
Glamor, grace, and a whole lot of sass.
Reigning royalty.
Okay, chat GPT, you know what?
You're basically like the Emily of the internet right now.
Okay?
How is this going to run our world?
How is it going to run our world?
And it already is running our world because I was looking up, I was watching this show,
I'm sorry, nobody needs to hear this, but I'm watching this show called Shogun and there's this hot actor in it. So I wanted to,
of course, look him up, see if he was available, if he would marry me, if he's gay, if he's married,
whatever. So I looked him up and it said he's married. So I Googled Jasper whatever his name,
Jasper whatever his wife. And then it came up with these obviously AI written articles where
they're like, Jasper's wife is a mystery beyond experiencing. People often wonder who is this
elusive wife of Jasper's? No one can really tell. And it just went on and on. And I'm
like, you're running the world? You're taking I know. Come on.
The AI entertainment articles are the worst because they always start like they have like four sentences in a row that start
the same way. And then there'll be like a paragraph break, and
then a heading and then we go into another paragraph. It's
always like, Shannon Badour is a real housewife of Orange County.
Shannon Badour has been on her own for the past few years.
Shannon Baddour has three daughters. Shannon Baddour is loving life. This is written by a robot.
Yeah. Okay. So that was Shannon. Go for Emily's.
I used to question people for a living. Now I just do it for fun.
Do it again and I won't interrupt you.
I used to question people for a living and now I just do it for fun.
Okay. So then Gina Kershon, by the way, neither one of us still know how to say her name.
I thought it was Kershon Heider.
I don't know what it is. Kershienhider. Gina Gazintite.
So Gina's is, like the properties I represent, I know my worth.
No. And then it's like footage of her feeding a giraffe. Like, you know, what is it?
Like, nothing is connected, right?
Like, at least show her, like,
have footage of her showing off a house.
It's like, here's a property that I represent.
It's for four giraffes.
It's like, what is this imagery that you're giving us?
But we also all know Gina's worth.
And I don't know that I'd come on Real Housewives
and basically brag about being a car wash,
frequent flyer card with almost all the stamps stamped.
Like I'm wondering, like, does she know her property's worth?
Like how good of a real estate agent is she?
She doesn't really, because remember that was her thing last year is that she didn't even know the price.
This year she's like, I've learned that I need to learn the price of a place if I'm
trying to sell it.
So that's her big storyline is that she's remembering prices now.
But girl, we all know your worth and it's a two bedroom apartment.
Pass.
I asked chat GPT, I said, can you now do a tagline for Gina with a real estate twists
or real estate pun?
And it goes, sure, here it is selling drama and real estate
because I know how to close a deal for a conflict.
That sounds, I mean, that's the most realistic one because it's Gina.
I mean, the only way AI can seem entertaining is when it's competing with Gina. Let's face it.
AI, you won. You found a way.
And since we didn't do one for Emily, I said, Emily, you have to tell us to do a legal, like a pun.
Otherwise it just does something like, I'm here for drama. So I said, Emily Simpson with a legal
pun in the courtroom or the gossip circle. I always have the final verdict. Pretty good.
You've learned how to direct chat GPT.
I think if it was, it's just not real enough because I think in real life it'd be like,
I'd be able to find a verdict and the verdict is I've got to pee.
I'll say now do Heather Dubrow with a pun about being super wealthy and loving champagne.
And it says,
toasting to the high life with champagne and success
because every day deserves a little sparkle.
Yeah, chat GPT still sucks.
Okay, so then Katie Janela, she's like,
when you live your life on the green,
envy is just par for the course.
I like golf.
My husband's really into golf and, uh, you know, golf.
She, um, she's clearly a one season housewife because they use up all the best
golf puns on this tagline.
Yeah.
Well, she says I fly like an eagle, but I've got a hole in one.
People call me a gossip.
People call me a gossip, but sorry, I just heard it from a little birdie.
I like to iron out the kinks in my friendships, but only if I can wedge my way in.
Yeah, see, they really have lost their
loss. They really go downhill quickly.
I can't put him.
I can't put my foot in my mouth because I'm wearing spiked shoes.
Sand traps.
Am I right?
Come on, Ben.
How are you going to waste sand trap and not even try?
Burned right through that one.
Geez.
So then we get Jennifer Pedranti.
Go for it, Ben.
People bend over backwards to get me and their form is terrible.
I kind of like that one. I kind of like that one.
She's like a shaming yoga teacher.
I love that. But also you're teaching in a parking lot. You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I think it might be the hot asphalt that's messing with their form.
They've got blisters on their hands, Jennifer. Okay.
I may be in corpse pose, but I've never been more alive.
So then we get to Tamara Judge and she's like, the only thing stuck up about me is my middle finger,
bitch. Are you sure we haven't talked about these? Cause I could have sworn that I said that before.
They were released, they were released like two weeks ago,
but I don't think we actually talked about them
well until today.
Well, if we did, sorry everybody.
But yeah, Tamra's, and then she's sticking up
her middle fingers.
Tamra's is pretty good actually, I think.
I think that really captures Tamra.
And I think what's so funny is Orange County,
whenever they appear on screen,
and with their taglines, they cross their arms,
their name appears up on screen.
They always show bits like their family in the background.
I don't think any other show does this anymore.
It's just them.
And what's funny is that for Tamra's family,
well, first of all, I wanna go back.
For Gina's family, we have Travis and then Gina's
three daughters, which I think is funny because there's three other kids
that don't get to be in that title card.
Like it's like Travis with like,
here are half of my children right now.
But then with Tamara,
you have Ryan.
They couldn't fit them all on the screen.
Yeah, or maybe they're like not allowed or something,
but there's something like a little weird about that.
But then there's Sandy.
I feel like this is the first time I've ever seen a mom make her way
into the family. And so you see like Ryan, you see Eddie, you
see the other daughter that's there Sydney, I think. And then
they see Sandy and her like young wig in the background be
like, Hey, I'm just like a kiddo to you.
I think that Kelly's mom has actually been on the credits. I think so.
You're right. I think Kelly's mom was back there.
Yeah. I thought it was, Tamara definitely had the most creative family one,
because I really liked how they had Ryan crawling in through that window of a federal building.
It was really interesting how they worked that all in.
It was great. The way his buffalo head thing was on, it really draped over his in. It was great, like the way his like, the way his like a buffalo mat,
buffalo head thing was on it,
it really draped all over his head.
It was great on the opening credits.
Okay, so we get scenes from last week where,
well, I guess it's from this week.
I just wrote little notes here and there,
but I'm worried about Katie.
Katie's storylines, which I guess we'll get into
as we do this, pretty sad.
So let's start off.
So we're with Heather and Shannon to start.
Oh no, no, we're just actually Heather.
Oh God, Heather's penthouse.
Oh geez, Heather.
So we're here in Century City, beautiful Century City.
We're at Heather's LA penthouse
and Heather and Terry are there
and they go out like that.
They're looking at the window and Heather goes,
Terry, Terry, Terry, can you pick out our house from here?
Cause they're looking through the window
at the Hollywood Hills, looking at the Bel Air Hills really.
And so they're like, can you see our house?
I think we can just see your house.
It's just like right in there.
And he's like, yeah, it's right in that crevice.
Or and she's like, Oh, yeah, it's right there. Or maybe is that Drake's house? Is that Drake?
Is that Drake? Is that the Biebs? Who is that? Which celebrity are we right by Terry? This
is insane how rich we are, isn't it? It's crazy. Let's go stand on the balcony and
I'll be in a fur coat. We can talk about how rich we are. Sabrina Gomez. Sabrina Gomez. Is that her? Right there?
Yeah. It's so Heather Dubrow to be name checking that Drake is her neighbor, right? And like,
it's so excessive, the fact that they have this apartment, like a mile away from their house.
It's just, it's so, so Heather and Terry.
I mean, it's just so sad because it is very Heather
where it's like, I'm gonna just make as much money
as possible to buy a house so I can be near celebrities
and brag about how I'm close to celebrities.
They earned their homes with their celebrity.
You know what I mean?
It's just like, you're buying your way in.
It's awkward.
Not that I would kick that money out of bed.
I'm not saying that money's not as good. I'm just saying you're buying your way in. It's it's awkward. Not that I would kick that money out of bed. I'm not saying that money's not as good.
I'm just saying you're trying to like be celebrity.
Oh, I don't know. It's just it's just thirsty and sad.
She just joins the trying very growing number of.
Yeah, she grows.
She joins the growing number of Real Housewives that are trying to curry
Drake's attention because there was like that whole moment with like Kyle
and because doesn't Drake follow Lisa Rinna or follow Lisa Rinna at some point and then Kyle's like, I want
him to follow me. They just all want Drake.
Yeah, it's like once they hear one celebrity is following you, then they all try like everybody's
still trying for Rihanna, you know, or they're trying to get a Beyonce shout out or whatever.
Yep. Oh, bless their hearts. So she's like, oh, I got a call from Cassandra.
She has someone who wants to lease the apartment.
It's basically my closet.
I have this apartment because I'm rich
and I need somewhere to keep my clothes,
but it's not a great place for the kids.
What should we do?
$80 million home, $40 million apartment.
I just can't decide, Ter.
It's literally the world's most expensive closet at this point.
I'm surprised Richard Marcus isn't here because that's where he normally
performs our closets. So, um, yeah, but still be so needy.
It's just sad. It's just sad.
They just spent all this money to get this apartment,
but it only has two bedrooms.
This is an ongoing issue with them.
I almost wonder, do they buy places with fewer bedrooms than they need?
So that way they have an excuse to buy something bigger because that was the entire justification
for their mall house.
They were already in a huge house and it was like, well, Coco was here and then we have
all the other children and you know, did I just, is Coco the one,
did I just dead name Coco?
I apologize if I did.
But either way, child, one of the children is here,
and they, like we have bedroom downstairs,
but they're not all upstairs.
So we decided we're gonna spend $400 million
on a new house, so that way our child
can have a room upstairs.
It's like, this is sort of the way they operate.
That's all they've got.
That's their storyline is being rich and buying homes.
That's literally all they have.
Bless her heart.
So she's like, oh, I can't,
I don't even shower at that house.
I shower here.
This is the house I get dressed at.
He's like, let's be honest.
This is where you poop out there.
She's like, I don't do that.
I do not poop.
Which I think is the most fascinating story
she's ever had on this show.
She just doesn't poop.
And it's also the most believable.
And I'd like to delve into that.
Normally, I'm not a big talker about poop.
I don't love poop discussions.
But in this case, I would.
Why isn't she pooping?
Is it colonics?
Is it ozempic? What is it? I want to know.
This is the most interested I've ever been in, Heather.
So Terry, by the way, funny story. We played flag football. I was the referee. I told you about
this, right? Ha ha ha. It was fun. And Terry's like, yeah, I mean, well, how can you even be the ref
when you don't understand how football
works? Women, am I right?
Same way we can live next to Drake with no talent. Just show up.
I looked good in the shirt and I had a whistle, which I think is funny that she felt like
she looked good because if she even knew that she was basically wearing the footlocker uniform,
she would have been mortified. Like, wait a second, what? I'm wearing the uniform of a retailer for poor
people? What kind of sicko gives feet in a locker?
That's where you keep your maids. So she's like, it's so crazy flag football, Terry.
Alexis is fighting with Shannon. Alexis is fighting with Shannon.
Tamara is fighting with Shannon.
Alexis is fighting with Alexis.
John Jansen is a person.
I'm not really sure what's happening, Terry,
but it's very, very stressful.
And he's like, well, you know,
I wouldn't worry too much about it.
And she's like, well, I'm in a good spot,
at least with people, you know,
because Terry, after you had that stroke,
I'm just not about nonsense anymore. All I want to do is stand on balconies and talk about famous
people we live by, Terry. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial.
My name is Georgia King and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondery+,
where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures
all around the world.
Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to
will all be up to my very special guests.
We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip
around Disneyland.
We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta
with Jimmy Oh Yang in Tuscany, Italy. on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland? We'll eat a bowl of life-changing pasta
with Jimmy O'Yang in Tuscany, Italy.
And how do you feel about a spot of sugaring off
with Emily Hampshire in Montreal?
And Away We Go will immerse you
in some of the wonders of the world.
We're gonna be seeing some yellows and vibrant oranges.
And the shoes clicking against the cobblestone.
If you're looking to get somebody in the mood, have them look at the Chicago skyline.
You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery Plus.
Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.
Georgia, do you know what joy sounds like?
I think I'm hearing it right now.
I'm Dan Tuberski.
In 2011, something strange began to happen
at the high school in Leroy, New York.
I was at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.
I'm like, stop f***ing around.
She's like, I can't.
A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.
It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.
With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low.
Everybody thought I was holding something back.
Well you were holding something back intentionally.
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
No, it's hysteria.
It's all in your head.
It's not physical.
You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.
Is this the largest mass hysteria
since the witches of Salem,
or is it something else entirely?
Something's wrong here.
Something's not right.
Leroy was the new dateline
and everyone was trying to solve the murder.
A new limited series
from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical.
Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early
and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
And so she talks about how proud she is
because they use their adversity
and they help other
people by influencing. Because last year after Terry had a stroke, Heather turned that into
a sponsorship deal with Life360. She's never been prouder. She's like, I am saving lives.
Hashtag ad.
And so then we see her filming an ad where she's basically yelling at the audience, my husband had a stroke and my son was smart enough to click on the app and that is how we saved his life.
And that and if it wasn't for this app, we might never get to ever live next to Drake.
So thanks to that app, Terry is not only with us, but he's a spinning beach ball. So whether you live next to Drake or French Malone or Post Montana, use this app because
your celebrity friends will never see you otherwise.
Wow.
So Heather's like, I saved my husband's life and all I got was this crappy t-shirt.
And Terry's like, oh, you also got me, babe,
and everything that brings.
You know, when Terry had the stroke,
I didn't have time to break down.
So we went on a trip and I walked down the beach.
And then I discovered from 2.15 to 2.30
I had just enough time to have an emotional experience.
So I walked down the beach and I cried.
Unfortunately, our paparazzo was delayed in traffic, so it wasn't captured, but you'll
just have to take my word for it.
There were tears, and I was emotionally cleansed.
It was awful.
Eye-balled.
Heather, can you tell us what that was like?
Well, I stood there, and I made noises like this.
Ah, and things came out of my ears.
Your eyes?
My eyes, ears, nose, throat.
It's all connected.
Those aren't connected to your eyes.
Things were coming out of my kneecaps.
It hurt.
Heather, tears, that's not where tears come out.
I pooped.
I pooped right there on the beach.
It's a bodily waste.
Just wrap it up.
Can we have Drake do this one for me?
Drake, get over here, fill in, lime.
So, yeah, Heather trying to cry is my favorite.
I'm just imagining Heather auditioning in 1997 for some like, you know, long distance,
like AT&T commercial, like, Grandma, I haven't spoken to you for so long.
Like, Mr. bro, what are you, what are you doing?
This is me crying.
Are you rubbing a car?
No, hold on.
The tears are gonna come.
She's just ridiculous. My God. And she's like, and I learned to stop celebrating what there
was before and to start celebrating what was.
And then she just looks, she does that thing
where she's trying to give a meaningful look to the camera,
but it's terrifying.
She's like, I decided to celebrate what was.
And her eyes cloud over and get really black
and her head's tilted and her lower face is just pursed.
She is fucking
terrifying. This lady scares the life out of me. God, I really love her.
So now it's nighttime.
I have to say, I don't, I, she really used to rub me the wrong way. I mean, she's still,
I still think she's a complete asshole, but she's a funny asshole. I mean, I do, I do
appreciate Heather standing on her balcony. She just
goes out in her fur coat every morning as her robe being like, there's Drake. There's
our house next to Drake.
You have to honestly admire this show that you have a cast where you have this woman
who has an unused $80 million apartment that she's now just calling her closet and that it just it has absolutely no utility to it because there's not another bedroom for like the kids.
And she's gazing off at her massive mansion to be next to one of the biggest superstars in the world and like, ah, I can just barely see our mansion from here.
who's got is living in her like one bedroom house, you know, scrounging together her you know, her comforter, whatever,
and just like, gathering her USB plugs. I don't know. I mean,
we all have USB plugs. That's one thing that cuts across all
wealth. But for some reason, she just has she has like the real
knockoffs that start fires, you know, it's like the
dispersity that the diversity of star fires.
real knockoffs that start fires, you know? It's like the diversity of wealth.
The knockoffs that start fires.
You know, the diversity of wealth on this show
is so hilarious to me.
Like, I just feel like sometimes we have to reflect on it.
Yeah, sometimes you really gotta just appreciate
what you have, you know?
And this is one of those times.
So, oh, I'm on the wrong notes.
I'm on the other page of notes. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. We split at most of those times. So, oh, I'm on the wrong notes. I'm on the other page of notes.
We split up notes today. So I was vacillating between your notes and my notes. And I got confused.
So then we go to nighttime. It's raining and it's a party bus, guys. A good old-fashioned OC party
bus. And Tamara and Gina and Emily are going out
for a girls night with Katie. And she's like, I just want a good court girls together with that
bar. Cause obviously I'm not going to fight Shannon cause I want a fun night. I want a fun,
fun night. Besides she's got some of the driver now. What's the point of getting her drunk?
Yeah. So Emily, we see a flashback of Emily FaceTiming Tamer, and she's like, I think
we should take out Gina because Gina's depressed about Travis. I mean, when is Gina not depressed
about something? If it's not Travis, it's about paper bags. I can't find my stack of
paper bags. It's just so hard for me to make lunch for the kids when I go to school. I
feel bad.
I also think you should kick Gina out because she's depressed. I think you should kick Gina
out because she's depressing. Just amend that should kick Gina out because she's depressing.
Okay?
Just amend that sentence a little bit so we can be okay with it on this show.
So then they go to pick up Katie's and Emily's like, I don't want to go inside to pee because
I don't have to meet her husband.
I don't have to talk about her house.
I'm not really here for this.
I'm just here for advancing my own storyline, which is having to pee. So I'm
gonna wackily pee in bushes. Isn't it hilarious? It's me,
Emily, being in a bush. LOL. Am I right? Hold on. Did you guys
already get that? Let's do it again. But this time I want all
the turkey sandwich. I'm relatable.
Emily, you have been forcing us to metaphorically walk into the
foyer of your house for five years
and meet Shane, okay?
Like, we have been stuck with what's going on
with your husband for so long,
and you can't even bother to say hello to Katie's mat?
I'm sorry, that's double standard.
Yeah, that's kind of what's not fun about Emily.
She's just not a nice person.
You know, some of them you can kind of root for because it's like, oh, they're shady, but then they're also fun.'s not fun about Emily. She's just not a nice person. Some of them you can kind of root for it
because it's like, oh, they're shady,
but then they're also fun.
You also care about them.
Like I literally don't, you're not fun.
Well, it's just, like, I kind of get that.
I kind of get it like, oh, I don't want to go inside
because then I have to like talk and probably meet the kid.
And it's like, all I want to do is go and get drunk.
Like I get that.
But it's like, you also have Shane, okay?
How many people have been tortured having to stand
there and have a conversation with Shane? Well, you also have a toilet at home. Like I don't even
care about them not wanting to meet the husband because we do meet the husband later and he's
exactly what you think a person obsessed with golf, like a white guy, a white rich guy obsessed
with golf would be. I mean, he's like completely not fascinating. So I don't really blame her for that. I just like, I don't I don't get the wackiness of like, making your whole storyline
peeing like Emily, you're so bad at this. How many years have you been on here? And
that's still going to be your only storyline. Come on, make an effort.
I also think that there's something kind of gross about like, just peeing in your friend's
bush in their front yard.
Well, yeah, why? know why. Also your trash.
It's like, it's one thing, like, I don't know.
I just, there was something that was like,
this is, you know, like, I know like people pee in bushes.
Like that's something that happens,
but it was just like the placement of that bush.
It was just like so close to that front door, you know?
So then-
In the wrong company, she could get arrested, you know?
And then she wouldn't be allowed around schools and churches or whatever.
That's right.
That's right.
So, uh, but she goes inside, she's like, Oh my God, I have to pee my pants.
So be, but there's like a kid right there.
She's like, Oh my God.
Hi.
So now Emily falls over in the bush.
Everyone Emily is being like wacky cause she peed in the bush, but then she fell
over and like, Oh my God, girls just want to have fun.
Yeah. She makes Tamra spill her drink and Tamra's like,
Oh my God, I'm wackily yelling at you trying to have fun.
You just got pampered, bitch.
So then Emily is like,
Well, I had lunch with Katie the other day.
When you remember when Heather did the paparazzi photo, well, Katie has more information
about that whole situation.
Katie, you're coming on to advance a storyline
that didn't even take off last year.
Let me make this clear.
No one doubted that Heather called the paparazzi
and nobody cares.
You all call the paparazzi.
Unfortunately for you, they can't drive
all the way to damn OC, okay?
Heather probably flew them out,
but I don't think anyone is gonna be shocked
that a Bravo person called the Paps on themselves.
Yeah, especially an actress, okay?
Who looks nice to Drake.
Also, I wanna point out something
that I thought was hilarious.
This whole thing, they're like,
we're gonna go to a dive bar.
Yeah, let's go to a dive bar, bitch.
Let's just have fun.
Let's go to a dive bar.
We're gonna dive bar. We're going to a dive bar. I love this place. It's like a dive bar. Yeah, let's go to a dive bar, bitch. Let's just have fun. Let's go to a dive bar. We're going to a dive bar.
We're going to a dive bar.
I love this place.
It's like a dive bar.
And then they all order espresso marginis.
Girls, you're in a dive bar.
It's beer.
It's like shots of whiskey.
Like it's so, it's like so exactly this group
that would do that.
In a luxury party bus.
Let's go to a dive bar.
Just us, us girls.
So they go to this. Oh, so we see a flashback of Katie saying, I texted my friend and he's
in charge of all these paparazzi photographers. And I said, is this true about Heather? Did
she hire photographers? And he said, wait for it. Hold on. Mental dot, dot, dot, mental
dot, dot, dot, responding, still typing. Is it going to be a long response?
Is it a slow response?
Let's see if they get this in the hole.
The word is yes.
Golf clap. Golf clap.
So, Tamra's like,
can you talk about Disneyland, bitch?
And she says, last year,
she was dead set that it was a live, bitch.
She yelled at me.
She yelled at ugly. She was awful, she was dead set that it was a lot of batch. She yelled at me. She yelled at ugly.
She was awful.
Badge.
I love that.
I mean, Tamara, like who yells at everyone and then like Heather is like, I did not
hire a paparazzi.
Why are you yelling at me?
Badge.
Every clip we see of Tamra's are screaming and then like the moment someone like has
like a shred of annoyance in their voice.
Like, Oh my God, how could you do this to me?
Remember when Shannon started yelling at me after she got a DUI?
I was so hurtful.
I was so, so hurtful.
So Tam was like, so you're telling me that she alerted the paparazzi that she was going
to be at Disneyland?
Guys, I think if we're gonna be mad at anybody,
we should be mad at like every Disney character
for not being more interesting.
Cause there are like literally so many people
to be taking pictures of at Disneyland.
I mean, who's Minnie Mouse fucking?
You know what I mean?
There's like shit going on at Disneyland
that we have to concentrate on Heather and Terry.
Yeah, I know.
So, Tamara loves this and Katie's like,
yeah, I have a screenshot.
And she's like, yes, bitch.
And basically Katie says that she sent it to her friend.
She saw the story on like, I guess the news or whatever
and gossip rags, sent it to her friend.
And she's like, I mean, this guy,
he's done speed up for Kim Kardashian.
And Tamara's like, I'm having a bro too, bitch.
So she's like, yeah, uh,
the guy confirmed it and then they're all Katie and you know, she's just like
saying, yes, the information and I was like, and she denied it. She lives you
all of us. Huge crime against humanity guys. So she was like, well, Katie sent
me this shit and I said, don't ever bring this up, Katie. And I didn't even tell you, Emily.
And like, I was so proud of myself for not telling anybody,
but now she's doing it.
We're all gonna be in so much.
We're gonna be in so much.
We're gonna be in so much.
I mean, her fake accent is melting.
It's just melting in her mouth.
Yeah, and then now Katie's trying to do this thing like,
well, you know, I just saw it. I thought it was silly and stupid. And so I was like, you know, I heard it and
she denied it. And I said, well, why don't you just own it? Like, who cares? Katie's
just trying to now do the spin like, oh, I dug up some gossip, but now I'm acting like,
oh, like who cares? No big deal. It's just gossip. Just some idle, idle patter.
Why would anybody care about it? I'm just bringing it up to embarrass you on national TV.
Just say, so I fake it.
I fake paparazzi pictures.
Like literally who cares?
You know who does it all the time?
People on the golf channel.
I mean, I'm not on the golf channel.
I'm on the other one, but still.
This is what you call freshman hazing because they all see that Katie is falling into a
trap. They literally acknowledge it. The entire episode. They're like, good luck, Katie.
Nice to know you Katie. All right.
P Katie Katie's about to die. Heather's about to destroy her.
Like they all see it,
but you know that they all encouraged Katie to sort of like come out with this
story. And for all of Gina saying like, don't, I told it, don't say anything.
Don't say anything. I guaranteed Gina and culture to say something.
Gina was like, well, you know, if you, you know, on this show, if you want to last, you got to bring up everything that's on
your mind and everything, you know, you got to bring it up by the way, they'll just forget about
you. So I guarantee they are setting up Katie for failure right now. Yeah. But like someone has to
have their own instincts. You know what I mean? If you're watching the animal channel and one of the
zebras is like, Oh my God, you should totally go out there right in that open field. And then it gets eaten by a lion.
You're not gonna blame the other zebra.
You know, you're gonna blame the dead zebra.
You're gonna be like, come on, get better instincts.
How long have you lived on safari?
You know what I mean?
A long time.
You've watched a lot of zebras get killed by lions
and here you are just taking a stroll.
There was a perfectly good tree
for you to hide behind over there, you know?
No, Katie, I think Katie thinks maybe she's got some wind in her
sails because she knows Sutton or something like that. But I
think she thinks like, yeah, this could be my moment. I'm
gonna take down Heather. This is like the big get, right? Like,
well, she's connected to all these housewives, right? Because
she's a she's an LA housewife. So she just didn't get on that
show for whatever reason. So she knows Sutton, she knows Cynthia.
So she's got all these people that they're always talking
about the Housewives game.
And so I think, yeah, she's coming on here being like,
I'm gonna go for the big dog.
And it's just like, get something better
because this is stupid.
This is really stupid.
And also you're talking to Cynthia,
because she mentions later that she's really close
with Cynthia, right?
So you think Cynthia wasn't calling Paps all the time with her and Shahil?
Give me a fucking break.
Right, I don't buy it.
So Katie's going on about the birthday photo
tagging thing again, and Jen's like,
well, that could have been a mistake, thank you so much.
And Jen was like, does she even follow you, bitch?
And you're like, no, it was an accident.
You know, she was clearly just looking at her ping,
just something like that, like trying to make a whole thing
about this tag, which I also believe was an accident know, she was clearly just looking at her ping, just something like that, like trying to make a whole thing about
this, this tag, which I also believe was an accident, because
I don't think that Heather just tags people on her IG, I think
that like, you could be Heather's best friend, and she
still won't tag you. Like, it's like not until you're Drake,
you're literally Drake. And that's how you didn't earn this
spot on the three life 360 hashtag ad roster.
Okay.
Hashtag Mark Cuban life in HD.
Oh yeah.
Life in HD.
We're not hearing about that.
Oh, we should look that up.
Life in HD.
I don't know.
Remember the platform.
Oh gosh. Damn you Ben.
So what is the, what is the allegation here with the,
with the tagging on Instagram?
What is the crime?
Why would, what is the evil that Heather supposedly did
by tagging Katie?
What's wrong with that?
Like she's being fake because like,
Heather didn't acknowledge Katie at a party
and then tagged her on Instagram out of nowhere
and it was strange.
Okay, I just don't, I don't, I don't get why.
I don't get the crime.
I really don't get the crime.
Like she was being bitchy to her by saying like,
ha ha, I didn't talk to you, but I knew you.
I knew you enough to tag you, but not to talk to you.
Sweet.
I think that is Katie's issue.
She thinks that Heather is being strange.
Maybe, and I think she's now seeing it as like
Heather is like a social climber maybe,
and she's being fake to those that she believes
are like below her, she's gonna ignore,
but then she acknowledges and I don't know.
I have, I don't really know, but I think your point,
your larger point is strong, which is like,
really, this is the best you can do?
This is the best?
Yeah, while I appreciate you're making some effort,
this is just not enough for me.
This is very boring.
And you know, I'd love someone to come after Heather.
I love it.
But this is like, I would rather them bring back
Nicole from last year.
That was pretty funny.
Or two years ago.
The one who tried to come after Heather
for the plastic surgery stuff with
airing. I like that. They needed to give her more time.
Yeah. I mean, listen, I was like all for Katie. The first few episodes,
I was like, Oh yeah, Katie is Katie. Katie sees through Heather.
She sees that she's fake. She's going to bring her down.
But I thought she wasn't going to use those elements for why she thought Heather was fake as the sole evidence to take her down, but I thought she wasn't going to use those elements for why she thought Heather was
fake as the sole evidence to take her down. I thought she was going to build a better case.
I thought it was going to be based more like, oh, Heather doesn't invite her to something on the
show. And then Katie's like, you know what? I'm going to say something to her. I'm going to put
her in her place. But it was like, no, it was all about basically an Instagram tag. So then we see a flashback. So Katie went out to get a mani-pedi with Heather, I don't know,
another girl's I'm assuming. But she's like, so I woke up a morning and I was tagged in your
birthday post. And Heather's like, oh, what? That is so weird. Let me look up my Instagram at HeatherDubrowFancyPantsLive360 hashtag I know Drake.
Wow. Oh, that is weird. You are tagged, which is so odd because I have a social media person.
I don't even tag people on my own. So, what? Tag your... Sorry. You're the poor one now. I pretended for a minute, but now it's you.
I'll have to ask Alfredo why he added you onto here. And then she says, oh, I realized
what happened. I was wearing a Givenchy dress. So I type in GI and then our Julia typed it
in. Julia is someone, okay, she cleans my windows, but she also runs my Instagram.
And Janella must have popped up,
and that's how it all happened.
Okay, and scene, we figured it out.
-♪ Commercials, here comes one right now.
-"Divorced Beheaded Died, Divorced Beheaded Survived."
We know the six wives of Henry VIII
as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were
so much more than just being the king's wives.
I'm Arisha Skidmore Williams.
And I'm Brooke Zifrin.
And we're the hosts of Wondry's podcast, Even the Royals.
In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from
all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light
as women who use the tools available to them
to hold on to power.
Some women won the game, others lost,
but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories.
Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing,
but more often than not,
it comes at the expense of everything else,
like your freedom, your privacy, and sometimes even your head.
Follow even the Royals on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Go deeper and get more of the story with Wondery's top history podcasts, including American Scandal,
Legacy, and Black History for Real.
So Heather's like, well, okay, well, first I'm going to follow you.
I'm sorry, how do I do that?
Anyone?
Alfredo?
Anyone?
Sorry.
Oh, somebody do this.
And then I'm going to go into that picture and I'm going to untag you from it if I can
figure out how.
Is there an instruction manual?
Do you have that that I can give somebody to read?
That would be great.
Could you go ahead and send that over to me, Leslie?
That would be lovely. It you go ahead and send that over to me, Leslie?
That would be lovely.
It's Katie.
Who's Katie?
Okay, well, if Katie's the one who's doing it,
then have Katie do it.
I don't really care.
As long as I get a PDF, okay?
Read it on camera.
I'm going to untag you,
much like when I fire a maid at my house,
I just take the little tag off their ankle
and set them out back into the wild.
So then we're back and Emily's talking to the bartender.
She's like, oh my God, this is like, this is like coyote ugly, when do we get to dance on the bar?
And the bartender was like, oh my God, can't wait, boomer.
I know, so then meanwhile, Tam is like,
you know what's crazy?
You don't just tag someone you don't follow yet to write their name out.
I can say with authority
as two people who have been tagged by both Paris Hilton and Kelly Ripa,
that people tag accidentally.
And it's great when it happens, by the way.
I can't even believe, honestly, Katie would even bring this up.
Like if I were accidentally tagged by Heather Dubrow, I would not say a word. I would let that tag sit there and I would be amused by it. I would
laugh about it. Like she got herself on tagged. Like the greatest thing that ever happened was
when Paris Hilton tagged us and she's like, I was like, I can't believe I'd like to get to be Gram it. It's great when that happens. Yeah. So Emily's like, it's time for us to live out our coyote ugly fantasy. So they do
and they start like dry humping and Tamara's doing her, I'm a lesbian kind of, oh my God,
why are you getting so lesbian? You took advantage of me in that bar, Emily. Which is coming
next. And then Gina's like,
so why would you tell them, Katie,
I told you not to tell them about that stuff.
Why would you do that?
Gina's so terrified of Heather now.
Are you afraid you're not going to get any more pleather pink jackets
or pizza slices in New York?
What are you afraid of?
Yeah. So then they're still dancing and Tamara's like,
maybe it's the 80s coming on me,
but he doesn't want to be
the white snake video batch. Am I right? I like how she says,
maybe it's the eighties coming on her. The eighties is always
coming out in you. Every time I see you.
The eighties never left you.
I know.
The eighties is like literally coming all over you every time
we watch it.
I know. Like you just, every time I see Tamra, I just hear a
commercial for now. That's what I call headbands in the night or hair rock,
whatever it's called in 1980s.
I see Motley Crue, I see White Snake, I see White Lion,
I see them all right there on Tamra.
And Katie is like, I'm sorry,
but I don't put my badge on people's faces unless it's mad.
That was, I'll just wait for you guys to recover
from that one.
It's pretty good, huh?
And then Emily, Tamara, and Jen are now taking the soda nozzle.
They're dancing all over the bar and humping each other, and now they're taking the soda
squirt gun and squirting each other and the entire bar with it.
Okay, get out now.
You're just peeing all over the floor in places, and now you're spraying people.
You're all very, very rude.
Yeah, they're just like these random people at the bar.
Where the matter has gone on Real Housewives?
I can't.
But also, like, these are people
who've never been to a dive bar, okay?
Because guess what?
This does not happen in most dive bars.
I've been to a large number of dive bars in my life,
all across this nation of ours.
The Coyote Ugly thing, it doesn't happen unless you're in a simulated Coyote Ugly experience in
Las Vegas. And so they're up there doing this thing and everyone at the bar is like, what the
fuck? You just sprayed 7-Up all over my shirt. Like no one like-
There's also nothing more basic
than like wanting to reenact Coyote Ugly in 2024.
You know what I mean?
There's just like a sadness about it.
So now Gina's telling Emily, she's like,
this whole thing with Gidi,
like I don't know what to do about it.
Cause I feel bad that everyone knows
about the Heather situation now.
That's Gina is pulling out the, I just feel bad that everyone knows about the Heather situation now. It's just that Gina is pulling out the I just feel bad thing. And now she's doing it about the other Instagram tag.
And yeah, I just feel so bad.
And Emily's like, Katie needs to eat some Wheaties
or drink a protein shake and focus because Heather's going to fucking destroy her.
Just like I'm going to destroy that toilet seat when I get to be on it right
now.
She needs to eat some Wheaties, drink a protein shake,
take a B12 shot,
have a balanced bar and then go and do your workout of the day.
It's like, Emily, what are you, we need you to come back here.
You need to come back to the metaphor.
So now we go to Shannon's house and we hear Archie barking.
Archie, what are you doing Archie?
Are you sleeping?
Are you barking in your sleep?
He's having a nightmare.
He's having a dog nightmare.
Oh God, oh God, I gotta call Dr. Moon.
Is there a veterinarian version of Dr. Moon?
Archie, Archie, what are you thinking? Archie, I can see inside
of you, waking up and being walked by a woman who looks just like Alexis Bellino. Huh, how's
that happening?
Archie's just sharing brain waves with meatball or biscuit. Biscuit, right? What's the other
one?
Biscuit, yeah.
By the way, I don't think we really let that sink in how fucking creepy that is that Alexis
got Shannon's dog.
That's so weird.
It's really weird.
I don't think I got it last week that she just recently did this.
I thought that that was just her dog and they happened to have the same dog.
But the fact that she started dating John Jansen after meeting him at Shannon's local
hangout and then going to adopt a dog
that looks exactly like Shannon's is just so fucking weird.
It is so weird.
So Shannon's like Archie, what's all this red on the floor?
Did you step in something red?
Was it M&M's dye?
That is toxic.
So I'm going to need you to wash your paws because the last thing I need is red M&M's
dye in this household.
It's been banned for 20 years.
I'm spiraling. Then Vicki arrives and she's like,
oh my God, we have so much to catch up on. I've got a staph infection.
Heather DeBrow pops up. Oh my goodness. I'm having issues with my staph also. Please tell me about
yours. Yeah, I have a staph infection. It's terrible. I'm dying. I'm literally not.
A staph infection? Well, the doctor didn't want me to leave the hospital and I checked myself out
because I said I'm very, very busy. You know what? You want to look at my staph infection?
Do you want to look at it? Do you want to look at it? I told the doctor, no. You know what you
can have a look at? Insurance. Insurance. I told the doctor, get your hands off me and get a job. All right,
get a job.
Get a job. You know what? It's really gross. If I go like this, if I go like this, yellow
pus just comes right out of me. And then I look at that yellow pus and I say, get a job.
Get a job.
So he was like, how's your vagina? I mean, the doctor. And I go, listen, my vagina is
perfect. Okay? Is it coming out of there? That's what he asked me. Like, is it coming
out of my vagina? Can you believe it?
I'm like, no.
Wow.
Well, Vicki, I believe that's God's way
of telling you to slow down.
He says, no, no, no, I'm gonna go full speed.
Don't speed, okay?
Because I don't want to slow down
because then you're sedentary
and then the grass is gonna grow all around you.
And then your son-in-law is gonna yell at you
for putting your feet in the grass.
Okay? You gotta make sure you have your shoes
in the right place with him, okay?
And you're not gonna be able to see through that grass.
Okay, I like being busy. I'm a type
A girl. I have enough money to retire if I wanted to, but what would I do? Okay. Just
like at the grass grow. I'm not going to do that.
So Shannon's like, Oh, we just have so much coming. And I like that Vicky's working through
her, you know, her show, her show pattern, because that's basically what she's doing.
She's like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to Shannon's house. I'm going
to work on the thing about the yellow pus coming out of my vagina. So I've got to talk about that today. It's going to be hilarious. It's going to be so good what I'm going to do? I'm going to go to Shannon's house. I'm going to work on the thing about the yellow pus coming out of my vagina.
So I've got to talk about that today.
It's going to be hilarious.
It's going to be so good.
I'm going to be holding an orange.
I'm going to be holding an orange this time.
Like, wow.
Really surprised this pus coming out of your vag
isn't landing better.
But here we are.
So Shannon's like, well, we've got so much coming on.
And she's like, what are we going to do about our show?
And we see a headline.
Tamra Judge gives a glimpse into twisted drama
that led her to back out of the Trace Amigas comedy tour.
Dun, dun, dun.
You know, I've only had a short conversation with Shamra
and I said, do you wanna sit down?
And she goes, no.
So I said, fine, fine.
It's just that, you know, we finally had the show down,
unlike Tamra's butt, which was not sitting in a chair because she didn't want to sit down
I couldn't believe it can you believe it first she leads our show and then she doesn't want to sit down to talk about it
Why it was just such a fun show yeah, and our first one we sold out in three days there were 27 tickets
You know I'm excited about you me
You know it'll be like Ethel and Louise or like Thelma and Louise and like Ethel and Lucy and like
Laverne and whoever Laverne was with.
There was only two in the first time.
It's like Vicky and Gina Keough at one point.
Whatever happened to Gina Keough?
I always get Thelma and Louise mixed with Ethel and Lucy.
Which were the ones that talked about pus coming out of the vaginas?
It was the pus in the vagina shop. they were trying to collect all the puss,
but they couldn't get it, so they started shoving all of it into their vaginas at the
same time.
It was a great show.
It was a great show.
We sang, we danced, we did skits.
I would occasionally break down and cry and talk about arguments I had with John Jansen
that would paralyze me and have my children don't call me from their college and one daughter's off in Paris
and thinks she's better than us now.
And I just put my salmon in the air fryer
and watch the cream cheese explode all over the sides
because I'm just so consumed with grief right now.
It's a fun show.
We had audience participation.
I had a mannequin that I would say,
this is David Bidour.
Now does anybody want to participate?
And hot young blonde would come walk with him on the beach
and steal him right away from me. It's just everybody can have fun. Everybody can have fun
in this show. It's kind of a family show, a ruining a family show. I like to call it a variety show,
much like how David would walk on the beach and show off a variety of slots.
David would walk on the beach and show off a variety of sluts.
So Vicky's like, yeah, you know what, Tamara didn't have the balls to call me a shabby, to tell us that she didn't want to be a part of the show anymore. She has vinegar running
through her veins and a black heart. Good riddance. Good riddance. Goodbye, Tamara.
Goodbye.
Vinegar heart.
Good riddance.
Vinegar veins.
Sounds actually fairly delicious.
So never do you know how many calories her vinegar heart has, because that sounds actually fairly delicious. Do you know how many calories
her vinegar heart has? Because that sounds actually very delicious. I believe that it's called pickled.
It's amazing that she really has half of a salad dressing ready to go at any moment.
That's what you call privilege. So they call it Paris.
Speaking of, well, Paris is just going to come up over and over again in this recap.
Well, you know, NBC will do anything to synergize with the Olympics.
So, so Paris is like, what are you bitches doing?
Like we're discussing our tour and, uh, we just want to know how we're doing there.
Is there a fallout since Tam is not part of it?
Paris is like, yeah, I definitely think there's like some fallout,
mental fallout, financial fallout.
You guys, it's just like not hot.
Make it hotter.
That's like not hot.
So Vicky is like, well, she owes us for that, right?
And she was like, you know, this is a business.
It's a way to make additional income.
I've got three kids in college and I'm still single.
Those bills don't pay themselves.
For college tuition, do you know how many times
you have to put on a sombrero and walk around
peddling Mexican stereotypes?
It's not easy with just two people.
This has all been like yellow lights
or unfilled water glasses in restaurants,
or those sketches that you don't have to tie.
It's all been very devastating to me and I need people to understand that.
Paris is like, well, you guys just need to hustle,
I need to promote.
Well, we do have a song that we can sing or we can amend it.
It was originally for three of us,
but we can bring it down to two. Okay, let's do it. Three, two, one.
Just the two of us.
The two of us.
Dos amigos.
Dos amigos.
Dos.
I mean, amigos.
Oh, gosh.
One, one, sing you this and say, shit.
Dos, dos, dos.
Dos, dos, dos, dos.
Dos, dos, dos, dos.
Dos, dos, dos, dos.
Dos, dos, dos, dos.
Dos, dos, dos, dos. Dos, dos, dos, dos. Dos, dos, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,
dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose, dose,, dose, dose, dose, dose it out. Okay, well, you know what? I need to put my lipstick on because it came off when I was taking my 400 pills that I'm just taking.
That was hilarious. I just take it for stress. I take it for stress, you know.
I take 10 times as many pills as hours as I work in half of a week. 400!
So that's been fun. Pass. Pass for my vagina. I have to tell you something.
I got a letter from a lawyer representing John Jansen and it says that I owe him $75,000, Vicki. I am a mother, a mother, Vicki, a
mother to children.
Oh, please, you owe John. You pay for all the upgrades on his lights, all his clothes,
all of his paraphernalia, and that's the only stuff that I know. He's a jerk. And she goes,
well, I mean, what is he trying to do?
I mean, and he goes, well, he doesn't work, right?
I don't know what his job status is,
but if his position is sitting alone on a boat
and getting wasted, then yeah,
I would say that he is gainfully employed.
Well, I don't know what his job status is
because I've put Google alerts on his LinkedIn
and it hasn't been updated.
So he's still not doing anything. So when he broke up, he wasn't working. He's still not working.
That guy's a bad guy. And you know what? It wasn't my place to say anything. It was like somebody
telling me that Brooks wasn't good for me. I just didn't want to hear it. And we get the,
I'm telling you, he's not good for you. Well, who cares, Tamara? That's my opinion.
Who cares, Tabra? That's my opinion. Listen, we don't listen. We got to find out ourselves.
So, um, Shanzai, I mean, he says I'm going to owe him $75,000.
Do you know that if you cut a court, it will cost more than $75,000 to pay attorney fees?
I mean, he knows how much I contribute to my kids.
He knows how much salmon and cream cheese costs.
And that he would do this is unbelievable to kids. He knows how much salmon and cream cheese costs and that he would do this.
It's unbelievable to me.
He is an asshole.
I'm sorry, he is an asshole.
He really is an asshole.
You're gonna come at her and sue her.
So what was he suing her for?
Like face surgery or something
that he loaned her the money for?
Loaning people money for their face.
That's so weird.
That's wild.
Well, hey, at least you got rid of him
before he had to get a do teeth, you know?
I still can't look at a bucket of popcorn without thinking of the one that got away.
So she's like, well, he's trying to hurt me.
And he goes, ugh.
But he just starts to gag.
So it's her Vicky gag.
It's like Vicky, you Vicky passing by an unemployment line.
All right.
Can I ask you a question?
Can I ask you a question?
Why is one boob smaller than the other boob?
Why is that?
You have one boob smaller.
She's like, oh my God, is it noticeable?
Looks like you have two oranges in there that are lopsided.
Can I have one of them?
Can I hold one of them?
Please, just for a minute.
This is hilarious and wacky and a great reminder to America that our show will go on with great
moments like this. Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap.
For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.
Watch what Crap-Ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alisyn King. Go look for the recap that says, Part Two. Mm! She's never scary, it's the green fairy. Jamie, she has no less namey. Hava Nagila Webber.
Know your worth with Jason Kurtz.
Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.
She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan.
Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino.
We wanna hang with Liz Lang.
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg.
The Bay Area Betches, Betches!
And our super premium sponsors!
Somebody get us 10 ccs of Betsy MD!
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva!
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil!
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper!
Can't have a meal without the Emily sides!
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall!
We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.
She's a little bit loony.
Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo.
We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender,
the incredible, edible Matthew sisters.
Give him hell, Miss Noelle.
Ring that bell for Rochelle.
She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.
Shining out of a cannon, Anthony.
Let's take off with Tamela Plain.
She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar.
We love you guys.
If you like Watch What Crappens,
you can listen ad-free right now
by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app
or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.