Watch What Crappens - #2518: RHODub S02E10 Part 1: Swingers in Bali

Episode Date: August 14, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap!This week on Real Housewives of Dubai, Stanbury attempts to smooth things over with Ayan, and fallout from the dress debacle threatens to tear the group apart. To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelkerr and joining me today is the hilarious and fabulous Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Well, thanks, how are you? Well, thanks. How are you? So well, uh, is a beautiful Wednesday here, not just in Los Angeles, but dare I say the entire world.

This is a global phenomenon that's happening. And I know from LA to Dubai, cause we're talking about Real Housewives of Dubai today. I don't know what else is on our mind. We did a recap at the Jersey reunion. It's a fake reunion. We made up an entire Jersey reunion because there was no reunion. So we did the reunion for you guys and we had a lot of fun with it. And we're pretty proud of the fact that we just kind of made up a reunion for one hour. So go listen to that because we enjoy that. Uh, also, I don't know if you're excited about this, Ronnie, but I'm excited. Love Island reunions coming up this Sunday. You know, Jersey's done.

House the dragon has gone, but little slutty people are still with us. And so we are going to watch that reunion and we will be recapping it for next week. So everyone, if you haven't caught up on your love Island, do it because it's really worth it. It was so fun. But anyway, today, Dubai, by the way, speaking of love Island, have you seen Rob from love Island? His dad's dad's hottest. No, I thought you were going to say his sex tape. Um, no, I have not seen Rob's. I did see that. That was pretty cute as well. It was fine.

But I saw his dad, I don't know, cute maybe. Rob Roush's dad. That would be the right word. Yeah, Rob's dad. I saw on Reddit today someone called for a snake candler in their town and Rob was busy, but his dad came and his dad was hot. And then someone's like, oh yeah, his dad is hot. And then they posted pictures of the dad.

Wow, what a hot dad. Good for him. God bless it. You know what? I say good for you, Rob Roush's dad for raising a deeply narcissistic, but hot son. You really killed it. You did a great job.

Give him time. He's young, you know? I feel like it's hard to go through life that hot. I feel bad for Rob. He was dealt, his handicap is being too hot. It's hard, it's very difficult. That's an ongoing issue on such shows as Big Brother and just really any reality show,

like the burden of being too hot. Yeah, so anyway, I'm by the way behind on Big Brother. I'm gonna catch up. I don't know why I'm announcing this. I don't know why this is like a confessional right now, but let's talk about Dubai. Let's talk about what happened. The latest episode on Dubai are. Lots happening in Dubai guys. So they just did the reunion in Dubai and something must have gone awry in Dubai at the Real Housewives of Array. I don't know

what happened. But um, awry in Dubai, something must have gone wrong because Saba Youssef announces amicable, what did I say? She just, Saba. Saba, yeah, yeah. Oh, I thought you were correcting me. Saba, and I was going to say, how dare you. Saba Youssef announces amicable parting from Sarah Al-Madani. Now she released a press release. So good.

And at the bottom, it says for media inquiries, please contact management at sabayoussef.com. I pulled it. So this is what she, okay. So I pulled it up. Okay. Saba, we've been trashing Saba all season long because it's like SabaYousef.com. So this is what she, okay, so I pulled it up. Okay, Saba, we've been trashing Saba all season long because it's like Saba, but I have to say this move has,

this has escalated Saba so high in my book, I cannot even, I cannot even tell you how much I love this. So she releases a statement, a written statement on Twitter and the headline says, Saba Yousef announces amicable parting from Sarah Al-Madani. And then UAE, London, August 13, 2024. So we have like a time and a place. Sabah Youssef today announced an amicable decision to part ways both personally and professionally with Sarah Al-Madani. The decision

follows careful consideration and reflection on recent developments. And then she has a quote from herself in her own thing. After thorough deliberation, I have chosen to move forward without Sarah in both my personal and professional endeavors. Like, this is the dream. Like I wish I could have done this to so many people in my life. Pete Yeah. Pete This decision follows careful consideration and reflection on recent developments. What are

the recent developments, ma'am? Because I can tell you, spoiler alert, there are three more paragraphs in this and they do not outline the developments. I need them outlined. If you're going to make a whole thing about it, I need details. Okay, it's a press release It's so beautifully passive aggressive. So later on she goes there's an appreciation for our journey And now is the time to take different paths Sabah Youssef will continue to embrace the importance of authenticity integrity integrity and transparency In all aspects of life and business implying that Sarah does not embrace authenticity integrity and transparency in all aspects of life and business, implying that Sarah does not embrace authenticity, integrity, and transparency.

So yes, we don't have details, but like the fact that Saba is so passive. I mean, this whole thing is so good. After thorough deliberation, With myself. I've chosen to move forward without Sarah in both my personal and professional. Our paths and values no longer align,

and it's the best interest of both parties to take professional, our paths and values no longer align, and it's the best interest of both parties to take separate journeys as I have values and she has none. I have recently- Fortunately values don't grow on trees. I have recently brought this issue to the Board of Trustees of myself, which include my ears, my nose and my mouth, and we all have agreed that we must move forward without Sarah on our journey.

I wish Sarah all the best in her future endeavours, and hope she finds success and fulfilment, both of which she's sorely lacking. Moving forward, Sabah Yousaf remains committed to her roles as CEO and advisory board member, focusing on her family, charity work, and maintaining the highest standards of professionalism and authenticity, unlike Sarah Al-Madani, who can die in a ditch. Yes, notice she doesn't say CEO

and advisory board member of what? Just generally, that's just like her general thing. I'm just generally a CEO and generally an advisory board member, which is why I always get chips with my Chipotle. Oh, I thought this was great just because it's like Sarah, you know, and like it's just such a cold, um, it's just a cold, I don't know what the word is, but like this.

Well, she's, she's up her own ass and so is Sarah. So, it's hilarious watching two people up their own asses fight with each other because they're so, they're so trying to be above it all while being so low down and petty with each other. So, Sarah's response was, a statement about a friendship breakup, what are we in high school? Heart emoji, prayer emoji, knife emoji? No. Feather emoji? Oh, it's a feather emoji. And then a peace emoji, a peace fingers emoji. I didn't launch the business publicly with you yet, but sure, it's a CEO thing, I guess. Covering my mouth emoji. Wishing you all the best in everything you do, beautiful. Peace sign emoji. I don't know why this is necessary. We weren't married, but sure prayer hand emoji. It's cute baby emoji. Should have wrote a song, would have been

more romantic, dot, dot, dot. Imagine your own emoji right there. Always back to what's important. How is everyone? Triple heart, hashtag real housewives of Dubai. And then later she did another one and she said at to Tolene, Chanel and Caroline. And it said, ladies, where can I find this book? I want to recommend a read to someone. And it's a picture of a book and it says how to get season three housewives. Wow. I, I mean, you know what? I am very intrigued to know what could have come between these, these, these wonderful friends. But, um, I dunno, I give the wind to Saba.

I think that Saba releasing a statement, getting ahead of it. She's like, I may be a friend of, but I'm going to, I'm going to seize my moment in the spotlight right now. So good for you, Saba. You really pulled up. Now, Saba, your timing sucks because you're not filming and the reunion is done. So this could have been earlier, but you know what I mean? It's like when the police show up like an hour and a half after the crime was committed, which no offense police, but you know it's true. You're still supposed to be glad that they came at all. You know what I mean? So that's what I'm giving you,

Saba. Thanks for coming. I guess the taxes are worth it. And then Sarah, the other win in this is Sarah is just insufferable still. And one thing we always say on this show is that the bitch flower blooms in the second season. It always does with people like Sarah who are so self-righteous and trying to make you believe that they're this good person, they're such a good person. It's never true. People who are that good do not have to try to convince you of it, you know?

And here we are in the second season and Sarah's kind of losing her mind. I mean, she's all over. She did an interview this week with someone somewhere, sorry. I've been watching a lot of interviews. I've been scrolling on the phone a lot, okay? But she was doing one where she was saying, oh, Lisa's so fake and all this stuff with Lisa.

She had already seen that video with Chanel and she didn't care and those were all fake tears and this whole thing with her is fake and she's controlling and all she ever wanted to do is control Ion in the first place and it's not like she's not allowed to have an opinion, but she's getting pretty nasty for somebody who's supposed to be a Buddha. And I love to see it, I love to see it because it's so predictable. Well, she's just as petty as anyone else, but she likes to think that she's on a path of spiritual healing and on a different plane, and she understands the more transcendental elements of life. And she's just like everyone else, which is hilarious.

Well, except a lot more powerful where she's from. She can get your ass thrown in jail like that. That's what everybody is saying on these threads, like when she threatened Chanel to go to jail and all that stuff. So, according to the show. Okay, so here we are with episode 10. It's called Dress to the Wines. And we open where we left off last week with Stambury Brooks and Talene complaining about the dresses that Lisa got them to wear from a local designer who magically only fit Lisa's dress on to look banging and amazing. And everyone else looks like, you know, a flesh, very fleshy because it's all that ice skating material to make it look like flesh, but none of it fits. So it just looks like crepe skinned,

you know, Magda from that movie back in the day. I thought the women who wore their dresses and went out to dinner, I thought they looked great in their dresses personally. I was expecting them who wore their dresses and went out to dinner, I thought they looked great in their dresses personally. I was expecting them to not look so good and after everything the way the last episode ended, but I thought they actually looked really good, which made me then wonder like, did these women, the ones who stayed back,

were they being trolled? Like were they given like bad dresses on purpose or were they just being divas? And it's kind of hard to know, it's hard to know without them actually putting on the dresses so we can truly see them. But at the very least, they were definitely felt like they're being trolled, which is why we had Brooks saying, Mustard, I don't wear mustard yellow, which was my favorite part of hers. And she was like, I saw she was in the, she was in the back of the van.

That was all planned. I sat behind them at the van. I sat behind them and I saw them planning to give us terrible dresses. I saw it. I saw the planning. I read Lisa's text messages to the designer and then we see flashbacks of her looking at the phone when they were in the car. And then she's like, I mean, what, Mustard?

What am I fucking hot dog? Am I hot dog? Not a word bastard now? Well, she's lucky they didn't get her a hot dog costume. I mean, she could have been like on Big Brother. You know, the thing is that like she made it sound like a real housewives of Dallas. You wouldn't be the first time. I mean, only housewives could someone say what am I a fucking hot dog?

And you have a reference to be like, Oh, we haven't did that. It's true. But like, she also brings up this thing, like, yeah, I saw the text messages in the car, like she sort of spied in on some conspiratorial moment where they were texting back and forth, like, let's humiliate them. But when we see the clip, they're all just looking at the text messages together, like, Oh, look at this dress, look at this dress. She's like, Oh, yeah, like that one. Let's wear that. Whatever. Like it was not like it was clear that they were, it was not a moment of, you know, like a vicious sabotage evil. But that's how, that's how Brooks is. She makes everything into a huge villainous story. You know, we were in the van, we were coming all the way over here and the driver

put on a turn signal. I can hear, go, go, go, go. So what are you trying to brainwash me? What are you trying to do, kidnap me? Get the fuck out of here, you stupid, I had a fight with this whole family kid. So, Jesus Christ, can we just get to the party? It was late. So, yeah, Brooks is like, yeah,

she's like, I don't know who gets what. Like, yes, you did, this was thought out for a long time. So then, which it doesn't seem like it was. It is though. It's the best evil plan ever for Lisa to just be like, you know what I'm going to do six months from now? I'm going to make everyone looks like their clothes don't fit at a dinner. Yeah. So then we cut over to Lisa. Lisa, Chanel, Sarah and Saba are all leaving and they're really late to go to this restaurant. Lisa's like, well, I'm done. Like, we are really late. Like we need to go. Like they can take their other car if they choose to come because I'm gone. And then we have to lean back there with the other girls be like, we are so

late for this dinner. It's not even funny. Like if Raph were here, you know how, what he would be doing? He'd be like, ha, instead of ha ha, God classic Raph laughing at everything. And Brooks is like, well, I'm going to change my clothes. I'm going to tell you that. I'm going to change my clothes. I'm not fucking hot dog. And guess what else I'm not a hamburger or a taco, other things you put mustard on. Let's spitball it. And Stambury is like, well, I'm not doing it. You're not doing what? I don't know. Just making liver it is. Having fun, eating bread.

Babies, talking to poor people. Paying back to Michael. I have to admit, I do wonder, by the way, I do wonder if any part of it had to do with the fact that in Dubai, like, there's a certain, I'm getting the sense, I may be speaking out of pocket, but like from what I've heard and what I've seen on, on the show, it seems like you have to dress more modestly in public, right? Although have they been dressing?

Do they dress more modestly in public than they've been dressing on this trip? My question is this, in a different country. That's for poor people. Yeah, okay. My question was in a different, if you are in a country where there are more conservative laws and rules about what you can and cannot wear, is there a certain amount of freedom that you want to lean into when you leave the country on vacation where you're like, I don't want to put on a big old dress. I want to, I want to like, Oh, I see. Like why would I wear velvet sleeves?

Yeah. You know, But I don't know if that's, I don't know if that's a, I don't know if that's actually a question that they're asking themselves, but I was wondering if any of that comes into play here as well. Um, yeah, I don't know about that culturally, but I think that Sarah is the only one who does the whole like, I wear sleeves because I love sleeves. And that's why. It's my freedom. And the freedom that we enjoy here is my freedom to wear sleeves, which I love to wear. So,

I think she's the only one who like gets into that stuff. Everyone else is like, that's for poor people, fuck it, I'm telling you this. Yeah, I was about to say it's- You know, like wearing a bustier to a champagne fledge. Yeah, I don't think the women on the show dressed very conservatively. Yeah, I was about to say it's like wearing a bustier to a champagne. Yeah, I don't think the women on the show dressed very conservatively. Like, just like, so it probably is, my theory is probably how it holds no water.

But I was just curious. Yeah, that's why it's kind of fun. You know, it's like watching Rebellion, Rebellion in the street. So then these ladies go to dinner and then back at the hotel, Brooks is still going on about how dare she pull me a muster. Muster call a train? What am I a choo-choo?

What is the track? Is there a track for your choo-choo? Do musters even take trains? You know, then they're going to go tell the designer to skip the fucking buttons. Why, you bitch? And then she looks at Stanbury who's just smiling. She's like, you bitch, you're loving this. You're loving those non button dress. Cause now they have an issue that there's no buttons on the dress. So they don't even know how to like, you know, do whatever they need to do to like, to fasten it all up. Although I sort of have this,

I have a suspicion that maybe that's by intention. Like there's probably a way you're supposed to put on the dress that you don't need the buttons, but you know, cause normally. I love that you're sitting at home watching this show theorizing on these dresses. So I am like, wait, why won't they wear these dresses? Is it cultural in Dubai? And what about the buttons? I feel like there's a workaround. But you're studying, you're studying sewing too. So that makes sense. You're studying fashion. I wish I could say it had anything to do with that. It does not. I'm not sitting here like, oh, guess what Ronnie? I just took a class on how to make a couture gown from Indonesia.

I'm like, I learned how to make a pocket on a gym short. But I think, I just feel like the way that they are acting and the way they are being pretty obnoxious to this, you know, like a local designer who's made some sort of dress with a cultural significance in Indonesia makes me wonder if them saying, ah, there's not even buttons makes me wonder like, well, maybe is it supposed to have buttons? Like maybe they are, you're just dismissing something cause it just seems strange to you. Yeah. I don't know. But I'll tell you for the dresses I'm defending the dresses this week.

Yeah, I like it. So Brooks is like, what mustard? What am I in clue? What am I a Colonel? Who's Scarlett? Who's she? She have buttons? Fucking Lisa. I'm a lot. And Stanbury is like, Oh, this is the Brooks. I enjoy. The one that I had fun with, instead of the Jekyll and Hyde one that's stabbing you, I can pass my issues with Brooks. I just need her to be consistent.

Be consistently this kind of evil and not consistently that kind of evil. Because that kind of evil hurts me, this kind of evil hurts Lisa. This is much more fun, this evil. Stanbury is just pining to be around some British people where they can just, you know, tuck everything away and say, oh, stiff up a lip and all that. Let's move forward. Like she just wants to move forward with everything. She's like, whatever. Well,

she's a horrendous bitch and she was terrible for me to me and she almost spilled in my brand new sofa. But in the British way, I just would like to ignore it and move on. You know, like no one's letting these issues die and she's going nuts. I just want to move on. Yeah, I like it. Yes. Yeah, you've got to move on. Like I'm ready for a new fight.

You know what I mean? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s***, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay?

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right now by joining Wondery+. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't. A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.

With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well you were holding something back intentionally. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.

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Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. So then, um, Brooke says I'm buttoning to lean's dress. She's like, I love your buttons. You've got buttons. Why does she get buttons? She has buttons. So Teline's like, ha, you know, I feel like, you know, Cinderella with the evil stepsister. That's what I feel like. I feel like Stambury is like the evil stepmom and I'm like the evil step sister. You guys know it, Cinderella. Hilarious. Hilarious.

Raph loves it. Raph loves it. So good. So Brooks is like, wait, why is Danbury the mom? Don't make her feel old. And then they all started laughing and they're having fun. They're basically bonding over these dresses. I think in a certain way, I almost feel like over these dresses. I think in a certain way, I almost feel like they are intentionally making a fuss over these dresses, because it allows them to kind of let go of all the petty reasons why they hate each other. Because if you really look at why they are all mad at each other, why Talene and Brooks are mad at each other, why Brooks and Caroline are mad at each other, It barely makes sense. It's over the smallest

trivial things. And so I think there's just like, let's lean into this. Let's let's be mad at other people instead of each other for once. And it's also like the fun evil people versus the goody two shoes people. And I would take Chanel out of that, but it's like, they're kind of probably sick of being around Sarah, Saba and Lisa. Yeah. Because Lisa's made like, oh, I'm gonna cry for half the trip and blah, blah, blah. Everyone's so dramatic and then Lisa's trying to make them more... Because it's not only you're wearing the dress, you're being a good person. It's like we're lifting up the local dress shop lady, you know?

And then Saba and Sarah making it sound like, how dare they shit all over poor people for not wearing their dress. You know, it becomes a much bigger thing and these other ladies sound like, how dare they shit all over poor people for not wearing their dress, you know, it becomes a much bigger thing. And these other ladies are like, fuck those poor people and fuck their stupid dresses, buy a button bitch. Yeah, the truth is that the people who stayed back at the villa are kind of like the more fun people. They're the ones who make like cutting jokes and just laugh and just like make fun of everything around them. Like they're the ones you do wanna hang out with more. Yeah, so. Yeah, so there, Lisa's, the other group, the Goodie Two Shoes group, Lisa's like,

yeah, well I saw when you guys were leaving and Talene was coming out when I was getting in the car and she was like, this dress looks horrible on me, can you believe it? And Sara was like, that's crazy, I'm gonna call Brooks about this. Hold on, let me call her on my spiritual awakening hotline. Okay, Brooks. Okay, I'm calling you. Okay.

That's a crystal. That's a crystal. Well, I'm sending her my heart, my heart pulses. She'll feel it. Hold on. I am using a calling card from spirituallyhealed.com. Okay, here we go. Brooks. hello. Hello, where are you Brooks? Where are you? It's like, oh, yeah, just putting on the corset of my dress and there's no buttons. There's no, let me tell you something, the pussycat dolls couldn't even think about this dress because there are no buttons. I had no buttons, but we closed it with a bell. So what, you're not coming because the kitchen closes in like literally, literally 20 minutes. Literally. Yeah, no, sorry. Listen, if I wanted to have something with mustard on it,

I would have come to dinner, you know, right? Because I was a mustard, it was a mustard dress and that's a food thing. I'm just getting room service. Okay. And by the way, Talene, it said hers is horrible. So be mad at her. Talene's a fucking bitch, right? Nice. Hey, could you do me a favor? Check on the menu and tell me, do they have french fries? They do have french fries. Whoa, you're trying to serve me with

fucking french fries dressing me like mustard? Ha ha ha ha. So then Chanel's like, it's always something with her. Always, always something, always something. Says Chanel, by the way. Chanel, the queen of always something. So they hang up and Sabba's like, how can one dress cancer the whole evening? Hello from the desk of Sabba.

I have decided to amically part ways with Brooks over this issue with the dress. I wish her the best, but I'm going to pursue authenticity in my fashion. And Lisa's like, honestly I'm pissed. It's 100% disrespectful not only to me, but also to the designer, to the town, to the poor people down the street that made these with their bands. You know, they knew all the hard work I put into making this a traditional Balinese night, a special one we can all remember, so for them to just shit all over it is actually pretty fucked up. Yeah, and Lisa's like, if it doesn't have a label, there's a difference between being stylish and being fashionable.

I can't believe these people would only go for labels. Now Chanel, please tell us where you found your dress with two lion heads on the shoulders. And also your name. So. Your literal name. So Sabah is like so true and she goes, the dresses were beautiful. If it doesn't fit or if it's not your shape, who the hell cares?

Literally every Real Housewife that's ever existed. What the fuck show do you people think you're on? You don't just pass out dresses that were donated from some local dinner theater. The local Balinese dinner theater. And it's like, Oh, well, we were just finished doing Jerome Robbins Broadway. So here you go. So they're doing Bali high. It's like the most obvious choices. Bali high, sweet Bali high. Sweet ballet high. Sweet ballet high.

So Sarah's like, oh, the dress to me is an excuse and it's lame. Have you seen how I look like in that dress? I still made it to dinner. Look at me. So Chanel's like, oh, how dare they do this to not only to her, but to the designer. Sac du arc. Sorry. I was going to pronounce it, but then I was like, why would I do that? I'm not going to her, but to the designer. Sackdwerk. Sorry, I was going to pronounce it, but then I was like, why would I do that? I'm not going to do it.

I don't know how to pronounce it. Sackdiek. And I'm just going to stay. Sackdiek is how it's pronounced at Leuven. So Lisa's like, so you know what? Their loss, their loss. Look at how much fun we're having talking about them as we don't eat this artichoke dip in these dresses that only fit me.

It's been a great night. We're sure showing everybody. Look been a great night. We're sure showing everybody. Look at this. We're going to have a fun time. Now, who wants to go to the touchscreen first order? Okay. So, yeah, well, you know how on Real Housewives of New Jersey this week, the producers kind of made everyone make a choice, right? They had that fake reunion and they had half of the cast in one room and half of the cast in another room. So, you kind of had to say like, who's more entertaining? And it was hard because there are two camps. I mean, there are a lot of people who are like, wow, Teresa's really

entertaining and her and Jen Aiden and those people are really entertaining and fuck the other ones. And then there's a large group of the other ones who are getting votes. But on this one, I think it's pretty clear which group wins and it's not the group, you know, crying over artichoke down. No, it's not. So then, um, then so no, wait, Ronnie, I take that back because now they're gonna have a fun time because now Chanel orders food and Lisa's like, Oh my God, Chanel has like the most basic palette, you know, and stop. It's like, what do you want? She goes, chicken bread. And Lisa goes, ha, they're definitely not eating this at the hotel. God, we're the more fun group, I think. Look, we're having so much fun. She's eating chicken.

But you better watch out. It's the boiled chicken group over here. We just dissed Chanel for eating chicken. It's like so going off over here. Back at the hotel, something's like, guys, guys, guys, I don't know what's going to happen when they walk in. Are they going to be like, what, Hey, did you separate the rice from the sand? Cause you're not going to the ball. I'm stuck on this Cinderella thing. Guys,

seriously, if you haven't seen it, great film, great film. You know what? They're going to be pissed. They're going to be really pissed. And Stanford's like, well, if you're hosting, don't send them options and say, don't you send them options and say, do you like any of these? And Brooks is like, yeah, well, Lisa wants a competition and she wanted to win a pageant and she won. We didn't go. We got mustard out of it. Pass me the French fries. Yeah. I mean, Brooks is kind of right on that. Lisa's just like, you know what I'm gonna bring

to this party? I'm gonna look beautiful in a ball gown that I had made for myself. Like, wow. I will say. You should plan more of these. Yeah, I will say in the history of Real Housewives, anytime there has been a moment where someone's like,

I got some dresses for everyone, everyone gets to wear something, it has never worked out well. No one ever seems to be happy with choices, no matter how beautiful they are. I pay $60,000 a year from my makeup people. It was giving back. I'm gonna cry, hold on, I'm gonna cry.

Real house sides of Salt Lake City. Okay, so, and now Lisa, we have a little cutout of Lisa with a crown and a sash that says Miss Humanity International 2012. So then Talene's like, listen, maybe Lisa was coming from a good place, but we chose to remove ourselves from that situation and now we're all getting along. Like we're in one pumpkin with a horse that drives it and They're in another one and that's just how it is Denver is like, oh, she's gonna be like thunder, you know, it's a shame, you know

It's good thing Sergio isn't here because I have to always put a little vest on him anytime there's rumbles in the sky So Talina's like she's like, you know what every time I say thunder's coming He says from down under babe, and then he comes out with only a t-shirt and starts twerking. Pretty disturbing. It was horrifying when he did that at the dinner party recently. Sertiline is like, you know what? It's truly giving me hope that Brooks and I are going to be okay. So I'm loving this.

So now we go to a back to ladies at the other ladies at dinner. At least it's like, they're like, wow, this was fun, right? Oh, this was so fun. This was a great day. This was a great day. Spiritually healed. It was so much fun. So spiritually healed. This was great. God, my spirit feels amazing. How was that boiled chicken? Was that good? God, I'll tell you how it tasted. Tasted fine. That's what it tasted. Woo-hoo! Remember the waterfall? And then we see a flashback to like most of the boring thing

that happened all season, which was them screaming in a waterfall. And Sarah's like, guys, do you feel like it brought us all together? And Chanel's like, yes, but I wanted to say something that I noticed with Stanbury. I feel like she's doing the same thing that she did last year. She holds herself out so it looks

like we're not interested in having her in the group, which is funny. You're the one who iced out Stan Barry all day that day. Like, well, now she's acting like she's not wanted. Like, Stan Barry actually tried to talk to you. Stan, listen, I'm not, listen, Stan Barry. You didn't, she didn't want her. She wasn't acting. Listen, Stan Barry is a monster on vacations.

I think this is what we've seen across both this show and Ladies of London. She is a full on prima donna. She's a nasty, she's a nasty piece of work on vacation. But that being said, Stanbury has strangely been trying to make an effort to be nice to Chanel. And so Chanel's like fully ignored her. And then it's like, well, why is she acting like people are ignoring her?

One thing that I'm extremely shocked about was Stamberry. And I don't know why, because it's not like the first time we've seen her on TV, but I don't think she was great at it last year. And I think maybe she probably started learning this in Ladies of London. She's extremely good at dealing with people who are pissed at her.

And I guess because she pisses so many people off in her life. Yes. She doesn't scream, she doesn't yell, she doesn't get super petty with people. She just smiles in their face and says, sorry, I'm so sorry about that. And then just leaves it at that. And then it's funny watching them kind of spin out because they don't know what to do with it. Like Chanel's really trying here to have this fight with Stambury and Stambury is like, no.

Well, when you've been raised by nannies in brown uniforms and sent off to boarding school at three years old, you learn how to deal with adversity. Yeah. So then we see a flashback of Stamberry being on her phone when they did the waterfall. And she's not trying to pretend like you're ignoring her. But she's also not trying to pretend that standing in a waterfall with Sarah screaming,

so that Sarah can sell more tickets to her bullshit fucking seminars, she's not going to do that. Listen, she's hungover. This is her hobby. She's hungover as fuck. And she's also like British, you know, not aristocracy, but she's definitely like moneyed, she's a moneyed British person who is never going to lean into spirituality. She's like, oh, really? Can we scream in a waterfall. I'd rather stick my face into a boiling pot of tea at suffrages. Why would I scream for spiritual help when I have a bell that I could scream for physical

help? Why would I scream for spiritual healing in the middle of a waterfall when it's the exact place where I'd like to throw Sergio off of one day? I guess that is sort of spiritual healing, think about it. So Sarah's like, yes, it's like self-sabotage. That was for you, Sabah. You're not going to stand up and do a twerk or something? She's like, I don't do that.

But thank you for the branding reminder. From the desk of Sabba, I do not twerk, but I appreciate those who do. Thanks so much for anyone who requests further information about this. Please see my email below. From the desk of Sabba, CEO of Sabotage. That's right. TM. So, meanwhile, Brooks is cheering Stan Bray. Welcome back to the good side.

And Stan Bray is like, well, no, I think you're welcoming, I think we're welcoming you back in actually, because the two of us are mad at you. You don't welcome us back to your side actually. In all seriousness though, of course I missed you. You know, it's hard going through days without hearing a drunkard calling you on the phone at seven in the morning talking about the pencil that they lost in the madness the night before. God, I miss those days. Wow. Wow. Can you say that again for the people in the back? I mean, you missed,

Brooke. Say it again for the people in the back. The Slavers don't care what I have to say. Say it for them. Like, no, no, it's an expression the people in the back. The savings don't care what I have to say. Say it for them. No, no, it's an expression, people in the back. It doesn't mean the actual people in the back of the room. And Brooks is like, I'm ready to bury the hatchet with Sam Berry. Most of the issues stem from how she treated Teline

about her vagina. This is old news now, okay? I just wanna put it behind us. Where do you hear that sentence anywhere else? It's fucking chill. My issues stemmed from her issues with her with the leads vagina. That's just I couldn't believe that was one of those you're talking about those phrases. I was watching it and Dom Dom and I were eating food and watching it and Dom was just like,

you know, Dom gets dragged into watching these shows all the time. And he was just eating his chicken. And then she said that he just looks up, he's like, what? He's like, huh? I just love the random phrases that like just catch him off guard. So she's like, yeah, it's time to move on. So Stamberry is like, well, when you're evil, you're evil,

but you know, I like you now. She goes, well, yeah, you've loved every moment of So, Stamberry is like, well, when you're evil, you're evil, but you know, I like you now. She goes, well, yeah, you've loved every moment of my evil, Stamberry. You just do like it when it was aimed towards you. Let's be clear. And I think that she's right. You know, I think that's true. It's like gun rights. You know, everybody wants them until they have a gun aimed at them. Until the gun goes off. Yeah, exactly. It's like a friendship for the Brooks. Stembray is like, you know, Brooks still needs a lot of help. And I do prefer the one that I understood that doesn't speak in tongues, but I'm absolutely

ready to move forward. And I'm happy that I'm not public enemy number one anymore. She was like, thank God. Thank God. I have just one less person angry at me right now. Yeah, I said, yeah, but you better watch out for Chanel. She gave you a figure up the butthole. Actually, I'm surprised by all of today because I said to Chanel, you look beautiful. And she walked straight past me. Then Lisa walked straight to the door, to the car, open and shut it and

walked in and goes, this isn't my car. And just walks off. I mean, they're very upset with me for not doing the waterfall. They're not upset with you for the waterfall, only. Yeah. And Brooks is like, well, it's like the moment that Ayaan backs her up, she fucking hated her again. So, Stamber is like, well, she was fine with me. So, now we go back to the other dinner, the other ladies, and Sapa's like, so ladies ladies go talk time with girlfriends, as they say. Do you think they've all gone out to the club? Do you think they're going to raise the roof somewhere? And Lisa's like. Well, I don't want to talk about them anymore. All I want to say is they should have worn these dresses because they would have worn dresses. We had artichoke dip.

God, we had so much fun. Aren't we having fun? And then it cuts back to the other ladies just falling all over the place, imitating each other and laughing their asses off. Yeah, exactly. They're like imitated, they're pretending to be Brooks. And Stanbury, Stanbury puts on like sunglasses and like does like a Brooks accent. And she's like, she's like,

Stanbury, Stanbury, it's a billionaire with a B. What do you, like, just, they're just having fun and being silly. Stan Berry is terrible at this by the way. She's like, all right, here you go. I'm going to imitate Brooks. Hello, I am Brooks. Look at me. I am Brooks.

My name starts with a B. Brooks. That's me. I am Brooks. Like, wow, good one. Good one, Stan Berry. And then Talia puts on the sunglasses and she does her imitation. She's like, towel, good one. Good one, Stanbury. And then Tullian puts on the sunglasses and she does her imitation. She's like, towel towel towel. Oh God towel. Don't trust the girls. Towel towel towel towel towel. And so they're just cracking up.

Hers is actually really funny to me because her imitation of Brooks is going towel. Do not trust these girls. Towel. They're all, they all secretly hate you. Don't trust the single one. Cause that is so Brooks working behind the scenes, trying to make Teline not friends with anybody. And so they're making, they're, they're joking about Caroline always being like, my PA is coming. My PA, does anyone mind if my PA is coming? They don't mind if my PA Callie Callie.

And then we see like a little pop-up of like Callie, like as a, as a reference of like who Callie is. And then, um, there, yeah, they're just, they're just, you know, there's, they're just razz than each other. So then tell me, well, let me tell you this, this is a girl's trip and I'm loving it because I've been friends with Brooks for almost a decade. We have gone through so many struggles together and this is a reminder of how much I miss Brooks. I am serious.

Like I miss her so much. Chalina is always doing like spoken word. Have you noticed that? Go on, explain. She's just always doing like some kind of a set where she's like, this is how I feel about the girls' trap. I am so close with these girls right here.

We were in a restaurant that was air conditioned. She just has a way of going about it. They're all kind of narrating what's going on. She's just doing it like from a stage with a special. We have been through so many struggles together. There was the time that she had a toilet that was three feet into the ground, the time that I tried to make cookies by putting five cups of oil in it and one teaspoon of sugar. It's a lot we've gone through together, but we get through it together and that's what matters the

most. You know what, sometimes she gets upset with me, but I have to remember it's difficult being friends with a pop star. I also like Teline is from like North Carolina originally or Virginia. Why does she have a New York accent? This is not just us. Like the way she talks, she's like, hi, welcome back. I'm Teline. I'm here on Real Housewives of Dubai. I'm like, where did this accent come from? Yeah, I don't think it's a New York. It's just up there. It's almost like a valley girl, but she's got that smokiness down from smoking probably too much. And so it kind of it's easy to make it sound kind of East Coast,

even though it's really like really West Coast. I'm serious. Commercials, here comes one right now. My name is Georgia King and I am thrilled to be the host of And Away We Go, a brand new travel podcast on Wondry Plus, where we'll be whisked away on immersive adventures all around the world. Where we go, what we do, what we eat, drink, and listen to will all be up to my very special guests. We've got Ben Schwartz taking us on a whirlwind trip around Disneyland.

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You can listen to And Away We Go exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Jordan, do you know what joy sounds like? I think I'm hearing it right now. So then, then now they start to imitate Stan Burrows. So Brooks is like, okay, I'm gonna do my Stan Burrows. Oh, I don't need to be your friend. You don't mean that much to me. Sarah, you don't hear the world. And Stamber is like, did I say that?

I thought Stamber just loves it. She's like, God, I'm hilarious. Do it some more. Did I really say those evil things because I thought I went in much harder than that? Please be more savage. Right. How is this me and I haven't received an Emmy award yet? I'm absolutely amazing. I love how she's like standing out over herself. And so, Brooks is like, oh yeah, you're like, you're actually a contradiction to Healy. You are the definition of a hypocrite. Fuck off, Sarah. She's like, God, I love me. This is wonderful. I appreciate this so much. So then they're like, oh wait, hold on, they're going to be

back any minute. They're going to be back. Hold on, whatever So then they're like, you know, they're like, oh wait, hold on, they're gonna be back any minute. They're gonna be back, hold on, whatever. And they're like worried, you know, that like, oh my God, get a knife. So now the other ladies pull up and she's like, guys, I really need to fart. I cannot, I need to fart. And Brooks is like, oh, okay, she's gonna go in on me.

She's gonna go in on me, okay. No, she's gonna go in on me. She's gonna go in on me. So they're all bracing for this like confrontation. Well, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to tell her I didn't go because Lisa decided to remove buttons from my dress. And that's it. I'm not going to deal with that. Lisa removed the buttons like she has a little stash, a little stash of buttons off to the corner. So stupid. So, okay. So they're so scared that they're about to get in trouble. So the other girls come in and they're like, Oh, you look so beautiful.

And she was like, Of course we do. And you guys look basic. We didn't miss you guys at all. We had the best spinach and artichoke dip. So oh well you snooze you lose. And Brooks is like, I on star. Okay, I know you guys had a wonderful dinner. But apparently there were no condiments because the mustard was here.

The mustard was here. And Chanel's like, you're so delusional. You're so judgmental over clothes. Are you guys that insecure that you wouldn't show up over clothes? Anthony's like, well, Brooks didn't have buttons. Apparently someone probably stole them. Brooks, take it away. By the way, I have to say normally my instinct instinct would be like, oh, Ayaan, like, you know, shading people for being so judgmental about clothes. When she shows up in a ball gown at every single thing, like it's clearly so important. But to Ayaan's credit, she showed

up at the Bravo event of the last five years, which was Teresa's wedding in like some sort of like basic workplace, you know, brown outfit because remember she had just like gotten off a plane and she got like a last minute invitation. So to be fair, Ayaan will show up even if she doesn't have a good look to wear. Yeah, I think a lot of this too is her just trying to prove her friendship to Lisa again, cause she's kind of in trouble. So she was like,

I'm going to let these ladies have it for Lisa again, because she's kind of in trouble. So she was like, I'm going to let these ladies have it for Lisa, even though she doesn't really care, you know, because I think on a normal day Chanel would have been right with the other room like these dresses are basic. Not wearing it. So she's like, well, you know, okay, well, she didn't have buttons and we stayed back out of button solidarity. And Chanel is like, well, we didn't have buttons. And apparently you said to Lisa that you didn't look good in that dress. And buttons and we stayed back out of button solidarity and Chanel's like well we

didn't have buttons and apparently you said to Lisa that you didn't look good in that dress and then you know that what you're wearing to lean that doesn't look better than what you could have worn here you look like shit right now in that dress so you might as well just worn the other shitty dress you know what Chanel I think that everyone should feel entitled to wear what they want. You think a lot. You think a lot. You know what? You think a lot. You think a lot. You talk a lot. I think you should let me finish.

She's trying to make this happen and literally nobody cares about this fight. Like whatever. We're not wearing them. It's like what I always say to Raf in bed. I think you should let me finish. And Chanel's like, oh yeah, you had the hadida bird. She goes, sorry, hadida. Hadida. She goes, it's the loudest. And Sarah's like, it's the loudest bird in Africa. And they show this bird, like side by side with Celine. Like it's like, hey America, don't they look the same? And Lisa's like, I went over and beyond to reach out to this designer to get these dresses. Oh yeah, I'm sure it was over beyond.

It was a huge struggle. Hey, we have a TV show. I'm sure there's a book in there somewhere. We have a TV show that's going to be broadcast across all of America and potentially several other countries. Do you mind showing your dresses on it? God, I'm sure it was probably a difficult poll. Yeah, there's a documentary in there somewhere.

So Sabah's like, Tellene, what was the problem that you didn't like the culture of the dress? Yes. Yes, Sabah. She's, she's shitting on an entire culture. Let's make it about that. She's like, what's it inherent racism? Is that what was happening here?

Yes, Sabah. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, you just didn't like the dress. I'm like, I'm going to say it's probably column B. Tellene's like, Saba. Thank you so much for being here. Oh, you just didn't like the dress. I'm like, I'm gonna say it's probably column B. Talin's like, I just- Who's gonna choose column A? Yes. You know what? Actually, it was the whole culture. I'm anti the culture. Thank you. Thank you for trying to have a reasonable discussion. So Talin's like, I just, you know what? It's that I didn't feel comfortable. And she's like,

but what makes you feel comfortable? What's you're wearing? It's like a dollar store brand. Talene's like, I don't think they even have dollar stores in Dubai. How does Ayan even know what a dollar store is? And then of course it cuts to Sarah being very earnest over this shade. And she goes, actually, no, we do have a dollar store and it's the whatever it was called. And it's like it exists. Yeah.

So go check it out everyone. Like, okay, thank you, Sarah. Like we don't actually care to know about the actual Yelp listing about the dollar store in Dubai. It's just that in Dubai, the common people have to save up a week to buy one item there. So it's actually, it's actually a very nice outdoor mall. So Chanel's like, uh, Stemberry, why didn't you come? And she's like, I wasn't ready. And then they weren't going. So I didn't go. She's like, Oh, so you didn't come because you weren't. What are you mad at her for? You don't get them be mad at her. You've been pissed at her all day. You can't be mad at her for not wanting to be there. Telling is like, I don't even know why you were offended. It wasn't even your night because it was rude.

Uh, and said, well, you haven't spoken to me all day. So I didn't even think you'd miss me. So, and she goes, well, we were supposed to have fun and you're isolating yourself. And that was your choice. And you made it look like nobody cares about you in this group. And then you isolate yourself. And then you look like a little girl in the corner, like nobody cares about you. And she's like trying to get, she's like trying to point in her face and go at Stambury and Stambury is like, what?

Since when have I cared that anybody in this group likes me? She's like, okay. She's just kind of watching her like a TV show, which is the best way to deal with it. And Chanel's like, well, it was fun being friends with her for a while, but I chose to be this loving person towards her and she didn't appreciate it. And now she's making me go back to exactly what I love, being a fucking bitch. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like.

I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like.

I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like.

I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. I'm like. You should feel sorry for me because my makeup is now running because of your, what is that, boiled chicken spittle? Is that what I'm tasting? I only wish I had a Sergio here to wipe up this floor, you know, a wet rag. So Sambury tells us, you know, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to work out that she's

still upset with me. It's ridiculous. So Lisa's like, she's like, you guys, you're like not even remorseful. It was just like, yeah, I didn't like that dress. You should have just like sent a message or called something, did like, you guys, you're like, not even remorseful. It was just like, yeah, I didn't like that dress. You should have just like sent a message or called something did anything, you know, you're kind of like acting like my husband right now. Oh, they said you're boring. Your night was boring. Your dresses were lame and nobody wanted to go. Sorry, you owe everybody an apology, including us the audience. And to lean like, you know what, you're right. I fucked up. And

guess what? I am so sorry about that. You are absolutely right. I mean that I mean it. Everybody do I mean it? I mean it. I really, really do. Thank you for saying that. And so then Talene starts going and hugging everyone and she knows like you just I feel like we haven't mentioned that these women the three women who stayed back are like wasted they're clearly wasted so to lena's like she's hugging everyone and she knows like we just would have wanted you guys to

be there we missed you guys and just i know and i know i'm a hadida but i'm sorry i'm a sorry hadida well okay i'm sorry i missed you event too lisa i'm sorry too because she's sorry i'm sorry I missed you at that too, Lisa. I'm sorry too, because she's sorry, I'm sorry too. Guess what? Is there a catch up here for me to sit next to while I say this so you'll recognize me as a fucking buster, do you think that I am? Just kidding. Really sorry that I missed it. Well, I'm really going to bed because I suffered today. So that's who I'm sorry to. I am sorry to me. So good night everybody. So Sarah tells us, I like the fact that Talene and Brooks apologized. It's admirable. And I'm not expecting an apology from Stamberry though. Like if she does, you should be worried.

That means she's plotting something against you. So like keep it darling. Which that's probably fair. That is probably fair. If Stamberry apologizes to you, with the exception of the Ion apology later, which I felt like was sincere, I would be a little concerned. Stan Bray's really too lazy to plot. Like what has she plotted? That's true. There's not one thing on this show that she's ever plotted. She just kind of shows up. I mean, if it was plotted like P-L-O-D-D-E-D, I would be like, yeah, she plots along because she just kind of shows up and makes like shitty comments at everything. But she's never gone

out of her way. She's just too tired. She doesn't have the energy to plot against you. This whole thing that just happened was purely Chanel. It was All-I-On coming up with her own shit and then spewing it. And then Stamberry just lit the fire at the dinner and was like, all right, here we go.

Do your thing. You're on stage now. Remember the voicemails? I think that, you know, I think you're right now, now that you say it, and I think that, like, Stamberry is more of, like, an on-the-spot humiliator, you know? She's like, she doesn't plan at all. Maybe she plans a little bit.

She might plan a little something to embarrass someone like Juliet Angus. Like, she probably loves embarrassing Juliet Angus to this day. But, like, you know, she's like, if she sees an opening, she's like, oh, good, this is a way to embarrass someone. You're stupid. There we go. That worked. Right. Yeah, I think that she definitely likes taking the piss and fucking with all the people on the show. And I don't doubt that when she gets a chance, she takes it.

But I just don't see her like taking the time to plot things out. Yeah. You know, like that's what's another one of those things where everybody wants to make a master villain out of somebody that's really just kind of like laughing at all your stupidity. So everyone's going to go everyone's saying good night to each other. And then Brooks turns to Teline is like, well, you land on an apology campaign. Yeah, well, because all y'all bitches were fucking quiet. And Brooks is like, Yeah, well, so you said sorry. And then I felt obligated to say sorry. And I didn't want I didn't want to say sorry. But I had to because you said sorry and then I felt obligated to say sorry because I didn't want to say sorry but I had to because you said sorry. Well, I did kind of feel like kind of like shit. Like how, by the way, how are we? Are we good? We're good? Yeah, we're fine. Yeah, they're having that drunken conversation

where they're drunk now. So like, I love you. I love you too. I really, really love you are the wind beneath my shout. Shut the fuck up. You're not a bird. I'm a head either. So then we go to the doorbell random part of the entire episode, by the way, what happens next is so random and it's completely unexplained. It was, it cracked me up. Oh, go for it. Well, just that like, they're sitting there having this heart to heart,

they hear like a doorbell ring and then you just hear like I am. You just feel like this noise in the background and they get down, it's Ion. And then we like cut to this like random shot of Ion kind of like having some sort of meltdown, right. And then they just cut back. Like we we just get like a glimpse of Iyaan losing her mind and we never get any context for it. We don't understand why it happens. It's never referenced again. It's just like this one second moment. It was so bizarre to me. I was like, what is happening here?

Yeah, what was happening there? And then Brooks and Talene are hiding under the table like, hi for the, but we don't know what was that? It's never explained what's going on. Is that from an edit that they forgot to clean up or something? Like what was going on with that, I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that.

I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that.

I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that.

I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. I had to do that. like, oh, it's, oh, it's 9pm. It's time for Ayaan to have her meltdown. Okay. Going on, moving on. Yeah. I feel like Ayaan does a lot of scenes where she's just trying to like make a scene and they're like, okay, well, what should we keep it? You know, she's auditioning scenes for them, you know, to give them different takes in the cutting room or whatever. So now Brooks is giving us her monologue about her friendship and she's like,

that is one of the worst fights we've had in over a decade. But honestly, at this point, I'm ready to move forward. We're having fun. We're on a holiday with a different atmosphere. And you know, I just want to put it behind us. So now it's day four, Sarah is FaceTiming Akeen and Chanel is getting the back of her head shaved and everyone's just like waking up. So Stanbury starts FaceTiming with Sergio and so just, oh, hi honey, it's 5.30. Oh, 5.30 in the morning. Did I wake you up out of a good sleep? Good. I was hoping to do that.

No, baby, it's 5.30. I've been waiting up for three days waiting was hoping to do that. No, baby. It's 5.30. I've been waiting up for three days with no fear to call me. Oh, God. That's pathetic. I haven't got to sleep yet. It was much more fun when I knew that I disturbed you. Oh, my God.

Please, baby. Please come back to me. Please. Well, I'm sitting here with your hideous poster that you gave me and put it propped up here on the sofa, hoping that the authorities will come and confiscate it, but no one seems to want to touch it, which is unfortunate, including me, I should add. And he's like, you look so pretty, Ashley. And she goes, oh, thanks.

Well, I wanted to speak with you before we go on activities. Wow, so romantic. So, you know, I told you about the voice note, but I was building a good relationship with Ayaan and I'm very sad that it's gone completely left. But some of the girls are going to do ATVs and I'm going to spend some time with Ayaan without any interruption from others. Are you going to put a baby inside of you? Please baby, please, please honey.

No, we're going to the Bali swings, which is the exact sort of apparatus I'd love to push you off of one day. 100% I'm going to focus on repairing my relationship with Aion. Had I known a voice note was from Lisa, I would have had an accident with Aion's phone, jumped on top of it, or thrown it in the ocean. All right? I wouldn't have thrown Lisa under the bus. That's all I mean.

Honey, honey, honey. Honey, honey. I was dying to do that with you. We're supposed to go on the swing together. We're supposed to go on the swing together. We've done that, studio. We went there. Do not remember. We've been there, you sweet little idiot. Okay, I'm going to push Ion. And darling, don't get jealous. Don't get jealous when I have so much more fun with someone else there instead of you. Please don't die baby, our son is here. Our son is here. Sergio, you've exhausted me. You know what, I've asked Ayan the famous... I've asked Ayan to the famous ballet swings so we can just dead this. These huge swings that go off the side of the cliff and there we go. If she still hates me after that she can always just push me off one of them and then I'll just roll down a hill and it's a two for one special because I'll be dead and I won't have to overlook at Sergio's face again.

Honey, honey, you know what everybody does after they go out and be... What Sergio? What? They call Sergio. Please, please honey, call me, call me, please don't make a sound... You've reached the voicemail of Caroline Stendler. You may have thought we're having a conversation, but guess what? Ha ha, it was all just the voice recording for this. Please leave a message after the beep unless you're a soju, in which case you can throw yourself into a pool.

Beep. Beep. Honey. Honey. Honey. Baby. Hello, this is the voicemail. Just wanted to say that you violated the rules as you are, Sergio.

You're not allowed to leave a message. You should be in a pool by now. Get out of my home. Oh, no. Oh, no, honey. Hey, everyone. This is the end of part one of this recap for part two. Keep an eye on your podcast feed.

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We know the six wives of Henry VIII as pawns in his hunt for a son, but their lives were so much more than just being the king's wives. I'm Arisha Skidmore-Williams. And I'm Brooke Zifrin. And we're the hosts of Wondery's podcast, Even the Royals. In each episode, we'll pull back the curtain on royal families, past and present, from all over the world to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. We rarely see Henry VIII's wives in their own light

as women who use the tools available to them to hold on to power. Some women won the game, others lost, but they were all unexpected agents in their own stories. Being a part of a royal family might seem enticing, but more often than not, it comes at the expense of everything else, like your freedom, your privacy,

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