Watch What Crappens - #2528 RHODub S02E11: Polo and Prison

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

This week on Real Housewives of Dubai, the ladies attend a Polo match, Sara has a maid thrown in prison, and Stanbury is finally forced to decide on having a baby with a baby. To watch this r...ecap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:36 bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. Well, hello and welcome to the sweet Dulcet towns of Watch What Grabins. The sweet Dulcet towns. I meant sounds, but I would love it if we had a town. Just a Dulcet town, no less. How lovely. A Dulcet town. Really, what a lovely, soft sounding town. Everybody, welcome to Watch
Starting point is 00:01:28 What Grabs Us. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hi, Ben. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm amazing. Do you know why? Why? I was looking... Well, two things have happened in my life. When I found Jesus, just kidding, I already found Him. But I do have... I did find a new Lord in the way of ice cream being delivered to us from Jenny's Ice Creams. You know what? What a lovely group of people. We talked about Jenny's on the show. Ben loves it. I hadn't had it yet. It is amazing. It is actually amazing ice
Starting point is 00:01:56 cream. Ben, you were correct. We did not get a sack of money to talk about it. So, just in case anybody's wondering, is this real? We did get a sack of ice cream though, which is just as good. And that shit is amazing, Jennys. You deserve all the praise that you guys get. Okay. I'm so glad, Lonnie, you have now, you've now seen the way of Jennys' slugged ice creams because it's wonderful. It was great. So that was one thing that happened to me that changed my life. Another thing is that I was looking at the charts on iTunes, the Apple iTunes, it's not even called that anymore.
Starting point is 00:02:30 That's so old, it's so boomer of me to even say iTunes, but on Apple podcasts. And we are killing, you know, we're doing great because we've released 9 million episodes this week. So, that's great. Thank you everybody for listening, really. But in the overall charts, we are right next to a podcast called Girls Gone Bible. And you know what? I mean, just seeing us right there, it's amazing. I don't know why it makes me feel, it makes me laugh, but I'm also like, yes, we're right up there
Starting point is 00:03:02 with a Bible, so killing. I also like that you called it the overall charts because it sounds like it's a chart for podcasts that specialize in overalls. It's like, okay. I love some overalls. You know, we did discuss Love Island USA, the reunion yesterday. So, you know, overalls, that is content that we are covering. True. Another thing we discussed this week was the preview of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.
Starting point is 00:03:24 We call those trailer trashes because we trash trailers. You can listen to that on the feed. We also did the Love Island preview, not preview, reunion, which was fantastic. That was a really fun talk. And we did a two-part other thing below deck this week that was unhinged. We've had a really fun week so far and it's only getting better because we have decided to cover the Mormon wives of real... What's it called? Secret lives of Mormon wives is coming out on Hulu. And we will be covering that, but the trailer trash for that will be on the bonus feed on
Starting point is 00:03:59 Patreon. So if you want that, there will be a bonus and a video released for that show. We probably will release that bonus as a main episode, maybe right before the show airs or whatever, but go to Patreon, get it, support us. It's great. You'll get all the videos, all the bonuses, all that good stuff. And today is Real Housewives of Dubai. And real quickly, we mentioned it yesterday, but we are in the process of streamlining our Patreon.
Starting point is 00:04:25 So it'll be more user friendly. So for people who have had some issues with the interface, etc., or signing up, like just stay tuned. We're about to, we're going to make it a whole much, a whole bunch more pleasant for everyone. So we're excited about that. And prices will also be frozen for people right now. So if you sign up in the next couple of weeks, you will get these, this pricing because you know, it's going to change. Uh, Apple's made all sorts of new rules and laws and all this shit. So it's going to change everybody's Patreon, not just ours. So I suggest if you're thinking about it, now's the time you better go sign up, get
Starting point is 00:04:58 you, get you frozen in there. And just when you sign up, be sure to free, uh, to, um, cap the amount that you spend in your monthly settings. Because we charge on the way that Patreon was originally set up, which was a by creation process. And we've got nine million creations because we do a ton of podcasts. But you get everything for one low fee. Just cap your amount. By frozen, Ronnie doesn't mean you're locked in for the rest of your life.
Starting point is 00:05:21 It just means that like you can be grandfathered in before the Apple tax starts to kick in. Right. Yeah. So it's we'll give you updates when it's ready but just want to let everyone know for people to talk. It's always so fun. Glad you could join us. Um uh let's move on to Real Housewives of Dubai shall we been? Let's do it. So the episode opens up with Brooks at home and her son, with her son, and she's getting a foot massage.
Starting point is 00:05:53 And then Talene and Saba are working out outside because Talene's gonna help Saba get a booty. And then Lisa is talking to her, is helping her kids with math problems. And she's like, oh my God, math is like so hard these days. So just like a lot of stuff happening around town. You know, math has always been hard. I'm drinking coffee on that one.
Starting point is 00:06:18 I'm just saying. I was like- People say math is hard these days. It's always been hard, okay? Now they have changed math in weird ways and I guess it's supposed to be better. My sister is actually an alternative math teacher. Well, it's not alternative,
Starting point is 00:06:32 but she teaches like the newer kind of math and she teaches for people with learning disabilities. So she's really good at this kind of stuff and training people like me. And guess what? Still can't do it. It's very hard. There's a lot more parentheses involved. It's just
Starting point is 00:06:47 all the numbers are written out differently. I just don't understand. Like, there's a good grid process I've seen. I am down to learn the new math. I just feel like it takes up so much space. Like whenever I see like when my niece has done her her math homework or whatever, and I see a grid of like, okay, you want to add 14 plus 16. Let's make a grid. And and then all of a sudden there's like a grid of numbers and I'm like that's fine I'm down for new ways to add things up but if I'm if
Starting point is 00:07:11 I got a check you know if I got a check at a restaurant and I've got to add tip to it I'm not gonna make a whole matrix of numbers just to get to the total yeah I don't understand how the whole thing works I think you learn that way and then it becomes easier in your head but But let me tell you, it doesn't really. I still can't do it. Math sucks. It's very hard. So then also, Talin and Saba, nevermind, who cares? Okay, Sergio. So, he's unpacking a little Virgin Mary thing and he's showing Stamper. He's like, ah, the Virgin Mary baby. This was the original baby. They called her the Virgin baby, hey, baby. I mean, all babies are virgins, but still, you know. And I'm going to put this
Starting point is 00:07:49 on the bedside table." And she's like, oh, Sergio, you're absolutely killing me. He goes, I'm not laughing. This has to be in the middle because it's blessed. And she goes, ha ha, no. No, Virgin Mary is here, Sergio, put it in the trash." And then we go to Chanel and Chanel and her husband, Chris, go to a restaurant, the Dior restaurant. And so they're sitting down and everything and they're just making small talk about how he's like always hungry and everything. And he's saying how like... Can I just say that her husband gives me human resources vibes. Doesn't he to you? Do they
Starting point is 00:08:26 even seem married to you? They don't seem like a married couple to me. He always seems like she's coming into his office to just check in on... He's like calling her into the office. He's like, so I just, listen, I wanted to take some time off of work so that I could meet with you. I felt like this was very important to have this talk. You've been to Bali. How was that? How was Bali? Let's talk about that. I felt like this was very important to have this talk. You've been to Bali. How was that? How was Bali? Let's talk about that." I was like, are you giving me a job performance review? Like, this man gives me odd vibes. There, I said it. I don't know what's going on. Not sinister vibes necessarily. I just feel like I'm about to get a
Starting point is 00:09:00 bad review, you know, and a note written on a Post-It that's like, fuck up again and you're out. I don't know who wrote that. Really don't know. He definitely feels like he's more of a consultant of some sort, like whether it's human resources or someone who's just come by to find out like what sort of awnings he can install at your home or something, you know, it seems like he is definitely
Starting point is 00:09:22 there to hear about an issue and resolve it. Yeah. Like one of the ADT guys in my neighborhood, they keep coming over and they're like, is your home secured? I'm with ADT and if you go with me, I can give you a deal the guy down the street won't give you because I won't charge you for installation. What the hell? What are we doing under the table ADT stuff?
Starting point is 00:09:43 Listen, if you're going to come install a burglar alarm, you need to be trustworthy. I don't want some shady underhanded person who's giving me a deal. I want you to charge me the most and assure me that you're above the boards, people. Come on. This is a very appropriate episode to talk about that because as we'll get to, Sara has a quite terrifying ordeal that she goes through which is just sort of like, you know, just sort of put into a little side story in this episode. You know, it's an episode where they go and they play polo and they
Starting point is 00:10:15 have cocktails, they go to a bar, Caroline and Lisa catch up and they reconnect and Chanel and her husband have lunch and Sara reveals a sinister plot for someone to hold her son for ransom. I was like, how does that just get wedged right in there? Because it's fucking Dubai, bro. It's like they have lunch, then they're like, oh my God, we might be thrown in prison
Starting point is 00:10:40 for screaming at each other outside. What if Sara calls the police? And also why is it always Sarah putting people in prison? Here we are again. That was already a plot line of Sarah saying, or she didn't say it, but she was accused of saying, I'll call the police on you or whatever, to one of the women for fighting. And now today she did it. She did it to somebody else. Who's going to kidnap her child? Yeah, I was about to say, this one seems a little bit more urgent than someone screaming
Starting point is 00:11:07 in the street. She has her finger on the number of the police at all times. It could be for yelling at her. It could be for cursing at her or a party. It could be for possibly conspiring to kidnap her child. Who literally knows? It's Dubai. It's a crazy show.
Starting point is 00:11:21 What can I tell you? It's a crazy show where there's just a kidnapping scheme thrown into not even a B story. It's like. It's a crazy show. Can I tell you? It's a crazy show where there's just like a kidnapping scheme just thrown into a not even a B story. It's like a C story. So anyway, so Sergio, so I'm sorry. So it was Chanel. Chanel and her husband are having lunch and they're catching up about the Bali trip and everything and she's like, oh my God, my trip was insane. My favorite part of the trip, Sarah took us to a spiritual place and he's like to the mountains. She goes, I don't know, it was close to rocks. It was giving flowers and different gods. There was one for money, so I gave a lot of flowers for money for the money god. And so they're like,
Starting point is 00:11:53 How could you not know if it was in the mountains? You were swinging over a cliff. Like that was literally the last thing you were in. Come on. That's a fair point. So Chanel basically says that when she left there, she just was in the most peaceful place. And then she says how she found out that because of her teeth, she's between 45 and 50 years old. And Chris of course likes that because he's 49. And that would make him younger than her.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Yeah. And she's like, oh my God, I might be older than my own husband. Yeah. It seems to horrify Stambury. Listen, it works fine for everybody else I've seen doing it on this channel. Don't worry. Look at Carol. Carol's living her best life. I mean, that woman gave herself about four years.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Was it four good summers left or five good summers left? That was years ago. She's still banging young hotties. Yeah, there's a whole world of hotties. Look at Countess Luanne, banging Joe Bradley from Southern hospitality. Oh my gosh. So, then she starts talking about the goss. Chris is like, yeah, well, Lisa called and I said, please hold. Lunch break is almost over. And in three minutes, I came back. I hope she enjoyed the music. And she was saying she was upset, but I really didn't understand why I wasn't the team leader on that project. So I figured you guys would figure it out because you're friends and women,
Starting point is 00:13:21 let's face it. So honestly, I'm proud of how you handled the situation because that's what middle management does. Are we done here? I think I've got another lunch coming up. So, Chanel was like, it was really painful. And so, then we cut over to Lisa's house where we're going to hear her side of the story. And she sits down with Rich and he's like, sir, what's going on? By the way, Rich's mom is basically in town to help with the kids We see her like for one second and she's just like on the floor in the corner
Starting point is 00:13:50 Like I think can they let can they give this woman a chair? So Lisa's like teachers need a raise. Anyway, I haven't gotten a chance to fill you in on Bali Bali was like a lot, you know, rich was like, oh, man, I made it. He's like, I made it four days that talking about Bali. I was just hoping, just hoping we just would never bring it up at all. But okay. I know. It's like, I'm so glad you're back so we can talk about Bali again. Sounds wonderful. So she's like, he's like, I thought
Starting point is 00:14:20 it was gonna be relaxed and chill. She's like, No, and the worst part was obviously with Ayan, because she thought Stam Stanbury was her friend and now she knows she only has one friend and that's me. He's like, why are you girls like this? Why do you do this to each other? Women, am I right? Women. I don't know. So then we go back to Chanel. Lisa goes, I don't trust you. And the way she said it in our relationship, we've never ever done that to each other in front of everyone. Like, you know that, you know that. And Chris is like, mm-hmm,
Starting point is 00:14:49 that's why you guys have such a strong relationship. You know, he just sort of, you know he has like certain buttons that he presses, like that's why you guys have such a strong relationship. I totally get it. That's why you guys have such a strong relationship. That's why you guys have such a strong relationship. That's why you guys have such a strong relationship. He just has the prompts that he presses and just spits them out.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Nice weather outside today, eh? Nice weather outside today, eh? She's like, exactly. Oh, go ahead. Maybe it just takes time. Yeah. And she's like, oh, I was just so hurt about it. I was hurt by that more than Stanbury saying the voice note thing because, you, I was just so hurt about it. I was hurt by that more than Stambury saying the voice note thing because you know, you just don't call me that. I'm Blayle. I'm a good friend. I always have your back. You spread the voicemail that she gave you. Exactly. This is like a circle of bad friend things. It's a bad circle of Sarah talking shit into a voicemail. And then it's a circle of you sending that voicemail. And then it's a bad circle of Sarah talking shit into a voicemail, and then it's a circle of you
Starting point is 00:15:45 sending that voicemail, and then it's a circle of Lisa knowing that voicemail was nothing bad but still spreading around like it was bad to you, and then you spreading it to Stambury, and then Stambury bringing it up at the lunch. You know, it's just like a big circle of wrong. Can't we just all cut it, cut the cord? Like, well, let's just, we're all terrible. We're all terrible people, okay. It was just hot potato with a voice. No, it just got passed along. And then Stan Burry was the one stuck holding the potato when I guess it was time. She threw
Starting point is 00:16:15 the potato at someone's head, but to be honest, she was not holding the potato. She was just the last one to throw the potato at somebody else. You know, how does hot potato go against hot potato, hot potato, hot potato? Do you say like, when does it end? Someone goes to go or something like that? When someone dies, when someone gets a potato thrown at their head and it burns through their temple and eats their brain and then they die. Here's a game. It's called be patient.
Starting point is 00:16:36 Why are you picking up the hot potato and then why just giving it to someone else? You're both being, you're both like impatient and you're just being harmful. Like if I'm holding a hot potato, I'm like, hot, hot, hot potato. And Rada, you hold it. That's so fucked up. Put the potato down. Yeah, put the potato down or you know what? Get him made.
Starting point is 00:16:54 And if she doesn't hold it, throw her ass in prison. That's what I say. So Lisa's like, oh, and then she slammed a door in my face, Rich. And he's like, but you must've done something to provoke that as well, right? Oh, Rich, this marriage is over. How is this marriage not over yet? There are so many signs that this marriage is over. And this is the ultimate one.
Starting point is 00:17:14 She called his ass to cry about it. And he was in sub club instead of being with the kids where he was supposed to be. And instead of even feeling bad about that, now he's like, what'd you do to cause that fight? Oh, his marriage is over. I didn't love that response from him. And she's like, I didn't do shit to provoke it. And he goes, well, you said something in the group that she didn't like.
Starting point is 00:17:35 And she goes, no, no, no, no, no. I said, I don't trust you. I'm never going to send you a voice note ever again. We were good the next day, but it was still hurtful in the moment. And she says, I won't forget, but I'm okay to move on to forgive. But I already told you, Ayan, you will get burned by Stanbury. That girl is not your friend. So then we go back to Chanel and Chris and she's like, but we're joking with each other now. And he's like, you guys have such a strong relationship. Now, how did you resolve this thing with Stamberry?
Starting point is 00:18:05 You guys have such a strong relationship. Now, how did you... Cold water? Hot water? Cold water? Hot water? Ow, potato. I'm out. Daisy, Daisy. So, she's like, I know I'm really hot by it. And I feel like she played me. And she played me to feel like I was comfortable with her. And then boom. So she tells us that she doesn't hold grudges. And she's going to move forward with Stanbury, but it's going to take time.
Starting point is 00:18:40 But what's harder for her is to process the Lisa situation. And her head is spinning. It's rare she goes back and forth all episodes. She's like, you know, I'll move forward with Stanbury, but Lisa is the one where it's really hard. And then later in the episode, she'll say, well, Lisa and I are going to work on it, but Stanbury is the one who really burned me. So it's like, I think she just wants to be mad at someone, rather than to accept the fact that she was just as messy as everyone else in this hot potato game. What I'm getting from it is that she wants to just go against Stamberry because that's the normal thing. It's like they're used to going against Stamberry. Lisa's definitely always trying to
Starting point is 00:19:15 get her against Stamberry. We know that. And so I think that she's like, well, that girl fucked, she's the one who fucked me over and played the tape. So I'm anti her. But then when she sits down with Stamberry, Stamberry is so good this season about just being like, I'm wrong and I'm sorry, which is so rare. And it really does disarm everybody when she does it. And she seems to mean it. She's like, that was mean of me. And here's why it was mean, because I hurt your friendship. I didn't mean to hurt your friendship. Like you can't argue with that. So then she's like, oh, this girl's actually nice. So now she's being nice. So now what do I do? And then she goes to Lisa and Lisa's still saying things
Starting point is 00:19:48 like, well, I forget, but I don't forget. And she's kind of still probably giving her, I don't know, some bad energy or something. She's like, well, fuck this. This girl's supposed to be my friend, but the one who's supposed to be evil is making me feel good. And this girl's making me feel like shit.
Starting point is 00:20:01 So now what do I do? You know? Exactly. Plus Lisa also just said, like, Ayaan's gonna realize I'm her only friend. Which is kind of like, I don't know if I would ever want to hear that from a friend. Like, I'm your only friend.
Starting point is 00:20:15 That's, I can imagine, I don't know if that's like clingy or it's manipulative. Maybe it's- It's abuse language, actually. And I'm not saying that Lisa's abusive, but that is abuse language. When you're trying to tell somebody, you don't have anybody but me, and you're trying to separate them from everybody else and keep them separate from having anybody but you,
Starting point is 00:20:33 that's what abusers do. I'm not saying she's an abuser, but I think she's a manipulator. And she doesn't seem like a very fun manipulator. And so it's kind of like you're trying to manipulate somebody to be on your team, but your team is so droll It's just so droll and so sad, you know people want to have fun I think ultimately whether you're right or wrong people are gonna choose team fun and Stambury's having more fun. Bye She is right now. Yeah, so then Lisa tells rich
Starting point is 00:20:58 that Stambury invited her out to lunch and You know, she's like, you know and it better not be to validate and justify her throwing ion under the bus because I mean, you can't because I called her a snake because she is a snake. Like that was a snake move. Like so I once saw a snake and I looked at the snake. I was like, that looks like Stenberg because Stenberg is a snake. They should have called it Stenberg is on a plane because she's a snake.
Starting point is 00:21:18 Do you understand what I'm saying? You know, she's like, son, that somebody's a snake. Am I making my point clear? Oh my God. Ring ring. It's me, Sarah. I'm so sorry to bother you, but I found out that Samuel Jackson's a snake. Am I making my point clear? Oh my God, Ring Ring, it's me, Sarah. I'm so sorry to bother you, but I found out that Samuel Jackson took a snake on a plane and he's in jail now.
Starting point is 00:21:30 I just wanted to say that. So we go to Stambury's house and Tullien, we're looking at the pills that Tullien got them that say home is where the honey is. Let's tiki tiki honey, honey honey, let's tiki tiki. Okay. So honey, what do you think? What do you think? I think I've never been more grateful for a bedroom and to be on my own ever in my life. Emphasis on my own.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Please see yourself to the pantry, which is where I put a little doggy bed for you, Sergio. It's time for commercial. It's time for a Crappins commercial. Welcome to the Offensive Line. You guys, on this podcast, we're going to make some picks, talk some s***, and hopefully make you some money in the process. I'm your host, Annie Agar. So here's how this show's going to work, okay?
Starting point is 00:22:19 We're going to run through the weekly slate of NFL and college football matchups, breaking them down into very serious categories like no offense. No offense, Travis Kelsey, but you gotta step up your game if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need to have more fun this year. We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines
Starting point is 00:22:37 surrounding the world of football. Awards like the He May Have a Point award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter. Is it Brandon Ayuk, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams? Plus on Thursdays, we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery+, where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups. Your fantasy league is as good as locked in. Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever
Starting point is 00:23:01 you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. What's up guys, it's your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you, it's too good and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay? Every episode I bring on a friend,
Starting point is 00:23:18 I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on. So follow, watch, and listen to baby, this is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. So she's talking about how moving was just so difficult on her relationship with Sergio. It's the most we've ever thought about anything and not on my kids, you know, because like I've never had the day to day of just seeing them when they get home from school. Now all of my children are under one roof. It's disgusting.
Starting point is 00:23:49 I really know how this happened. We do this on purpose. We need more walls. Let me tell you, we spent a lot of money on marble. What we really needed was more lockable doors. Honestly. What we need are some substitute mothers for these children because they're always like, mother, make me pancakes. Mother, hug me. Mother, acknowledge my presence. It's disgusting and I
Starting point is 00:24:12 won't have it any further. Even if we're doing different things, we're in the same house. It's going to change everything. Yes, Sergi and I have never argued quite as much as when we were moving. He never seemed to understand what the concept of was of saying, I'm on the phone with the Rari. So he's like, so how are you feeling, baby? Honey, honey, are you pregnant? Are you pregnant right now? Do you want to be pregnant?
Starting point is 00:24:40 Hey, would you like me to put sperm inside of you? Please, honey. Baby, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, of you? Please honey. Baby, please. Please. Please. No. No. No. Go away. Go away. I'm sick of you. Please join the other children in the playroom. Thank you. I feel like I've been hit by a truck. It was like being in a huge sorority that vacation, like sleep over for five days. And a lot of my friendships have imploded, which is actually kind of fun. I mean, at least something could happen on that trip, really. So I've asked Lisa to lunch. You know, I just want to reiterate again that I had never known, I didn't know that she was the one who sent that voice message. I really didn't want to come between her relationship with Ayaan because frankly, without Lisa, Ayaan's just mine 100% of the time.
Starting point is 00:25:19 I've got enough children to stand. I just want, you know, I don't want to get to the middle. And I'm sorry if that's caused friction between them. As we all know, if I'm going to create friction between anyone, it's going to be between you and my children. That's the more fun thing to do. Your birthday is coming, baby. I want to do a birthday for you. It's like, I don't do birthdays, Sergio. I was like, no, please, please, baby, please. Because I looked at your teeth. You're basically 17 years old, planning young to have a baby. Let's do it, baby, baby, please.
Starting point is 00:25:48 Sergio, if I'm going to have a birthday, I only want one thing. I want my age written in rose gold balloons. That's all I want. Please roll the montage of me walking into a room with rose gold balloons for my birthday for five years consecutively. Thank you. Here's all I want. I want to sing myself happy birthday. I've been practicing. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Sergio is going to die childless. Happy birthday to you. All right,
Starting point is 00:26:14 print, print. Sergio, for my birthday this year, the gift that I would like you to give me would be for you to throw yourself into a volcano. Could you do that for me? So then, he's like, literally, like, kill me in the beginning, but then right before I surprise you, you love me more than anything, right? Right? You love surprises, baby. Come on, come on. I'm so happy. It's going to be the best day of my life. You're going to have so much fun. And she's like giggling. And then we see a flashback of her 44th birthday. And there's like balloons. He's really into balloon arches. He really loves them. And they're all the same. They're all rose gold balloons. So,
Starting point is 00:26:49 she's like, I hate surprises. For instance, I hated the surprise of marrying a man and then discovering afterwards they didn't understand what a vagina was. That was a terrible surprise. I don't want that replicated. I was the child who measured every gift out of the Christmas tree until I guessed what each one was. I actually did that. I used to open the presents, like I used to untape them and look inside and then retape them and stuff so that I would know.
Starting point is 00:27:11 And then I was always so over it by Christmas. I was like, whatever, I didn't know I was getting that. Make it more creative. Wait, so you open the present and then you... So I would open it. I would, yeah, I would open, I would pull the tape off the corners. You know how the, they have the corner fold and then I would look into it to see what it was. And I would be so excited. And then I would think, Oh my God, I can't wait to play with that toy.
Starting point is 00:27:32 But then I would play with it so much in my mind that by the time Christmas came, I was like, fuck that toy. That toy is old. Like, I don't even care about that toy. And I'd already told my friends, I have that toy. Like I'm getting that toy. And then so by the time I got it, I like, oh god, you guys got me this old thing and they're quiet. You excited. They're like he opened these You're a toy just be like fuck you guys like you could have done better You should have known I open them like if there was really a Santa he would have known that I open this shit already And he would have like corrected he would of course corrected I want to say two things first of all You were definitely a toy hipster and that by the time you actually got your toy, you're like, been there done that.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Second of all, Caroline Danbury said that she measured her gifts until she could figure out what it is and guessed them. And you're like, I did that. I opened my presents and saw what they were. That is not the same as measuring gifts, Ronnie. I took it as her saying, like, I sized them up like I would look at them to see what they were. Do you think she actually measured them like one of those grocery store things where it's like, your groceries are not the same weight as what you've entered. Calling an attendant, calling an attendant. Chris comes over. He's like, have you ladies made up yet? Though Caroline Sandberg definitely did not measure those gifts. Now, did she order one of the brown uniformed nannies to do it? Measure it here. Take the measure. How many centimeters? All right. Now the length, now the depth.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Now throw it at the other nanny. Thank you. All right. Now please go to the shopping center and measure every single thing in there and then tell me what considerable measurements that these gifts would match. Thank you. Thank you very much. And then afterwards, please know that you are fired. Yeah. I figured that was an English thing saying I measured the gifts. Like I don't think anybody really measures the gift, but I don't know. What the fuck do I know? Yeah, Arlene Stamberg is one of a kind. You know, listen, I mean, she's uh, she's intrepid.
Starting point is 00:29:24 So, hey, she had a she's intrepid. So I would let, she, hey, she had a, she had a business called the gift shop. Wasn't called the gift shop? No, it was called the gift. Oh, damn it. I don't know. Don't test me. I hate when you test me on things.
Starting point is 00:29:38 I know. So annoying, I'm dumb enough. Yeah, remember that, remember that, that obscure reference from a show from 10 years ago? It's like the gift gallery or something like that. So Yasmin comes in and she said, hello, mother. Hello, stupid. Why do you look like you're going to the beach, mother?
Starting point is 00:30:02 She's like, why do you look like you're going riding? And then Sergio is like, exactly honey. It was funny before you chimed in. Sergio, mother, why'd you let him speak to me like that? Oh, don't worry about him. He's barely even a real person. I'm not saying he's an imaginary friend. I'm saying like what sort of man doesn't understand how a vagina works.
Starting point is 00:30:22 He thought a vagina was literally a throat. He had no idea. Anyway, Yasmin, you've disappointed me today. How mother? I don't know, but I just assume you've done something already. Carry on. Listen, I'm not really sure exactly how but you know, if statistics are still worth anything. Listen, you're under 20, you're bratty, you're wealthy, you're pretty.
Starting point is 00:30:46 So somewhere along the way you've disappointed me today. You can think that and report back to me. So she's like, well, Mother, actually, I'm dressed like this because I go to school and they have a dress code there. She's like, oh, sorry. I was just joking with you. I wasn't. You look stupid.
Starting point is 00:31:04 Shut up! Why are you letting him talk to me that? Listen, sticks and stones may break his bones, but if you really want to hurt him, tell him that he's never having a child. It'll be fun. It'll be fun for me. Sticks and stones may break Sergio's bones, but what would really hurt him is a child made of sticks and stones, which is what he's going to get.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Bindle baby. Right? He's getting a bindle baby. So, she says that she is going to polo weekend that Caroline Brooks has invited them all to. And then we see a clip of Brooks doing a voice note to invite everybody, which I like that they included because she's just so... If you're going to get a voicemail, this is the person to get it from because she's very like, Hey ladies, I just wanted to send an invitation to you all to come have a damn polo this weekend. Come dress the press. I'm going to be judging everyone's outfits. There's no moment of subtlety even giving a voice now. And I tip my hat.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Yes, so Yasmin goes, Polo, do you even play mother? She goes, play? Are you just, are you a fool? My young daughter, this is why she won't get into any good colleges, because she's an idiot. You too, Sergio, you're an idiot too. Everyone here is an idiot except for Michael. And honestly, he might be an idiot too.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Can you see your mother playing Polo? Come on give me a break. She's like well I dated a guy with a polo team so there was that oh Sergio don't be upset. Oh god he doesn't like it. He doesn't like that because I still wear all that guy's clothes when we go skiing. He's like what what you wear all the guys clothes? No you wear them stupid okay because they're his brand. They're not his actual clothes. He's just actually someone with a career and a job. I should actually have him give you a call. A few pointers. Yes, I mean, get him on the phone.
Starting point is 00:32:52 Get Polo Prince on the phone. But you're not wearing his clothes, are you? No, Sergio. Not the clothes from his closet, you imbecile. This is his company. His company sells clothes. He actually does something with his life, rather than sitting on ottomans and trailing me around like a stupid puppy that needs to be put down in a shelter. So he's like, please, I don't want to hear about clothes from the guys you made tiki tiki with. I'm like, oh god, I think we might have a child together somewhere out there in the world. I'm sorry. Are you crying? Are you? Yasmin,
Starting point is 00:33:22 get out your phone. Get a video of this. Put a puppy filter on it. The puppy's crying. So then, oh, go. Get the puppy filter on Snapchat. Aim it toward Sergio when I tell him he's never having a child. I really want to see him sob with the puppy.
Starting point is 00:33:37 So it's actually a great idea, Ben. Thank you. All right, let's move on to Chanel. So Chanel goes to Huda Beauty Corner. Headquarters, why'd I call it? Huda Beauty Corner. Huda's Beauty Corner. So she has a meeting with the founder, Huda Katan.
Starting point is 00:33:58 I don't know if, is this a big brand? Yes. Yes. Yes. She's huge. Huda. She's a beauty brand. Yes. Yes. Yes. She's huge. Who does she's a beauty influencer? Who's a who's the catalan? She's a very big beauty influencer. How dare you? No idea who she was. I don't say that proudly. I don't like having a Sergio moment. But I kind of by the way she was talking. I was like, this woman feels like a big deal.
Starting point is 00:34:28 She just, she talked like a big deal. She talked like I'm a big deal. She has, um, 4.2 million followers. Wow. Well, our note taker, Jessica, she wrote down that Chanel has a meeting with the founder. She's put in parentheses. Ah, so it's clearly a big deal. Clearly. She's yet. Even I've heard of you in the beauty space,
Starting point is 00:34:53 you've really won something. Now. And now I've heard of her too. Does this make her, does this means that she gets to escape from the trend of terrifying eyebrows? It does not. I think she's contributing to this trend.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Actually, because she's an influencer, maybe she came up with them. And that like the magic marker eyebrows, I think. The painted, I don't know. I mean, new eyebrow trends, I think is what it is. Also, I'm just, you know, I came from the 90s when the eyebrow trend was when you pluck all of your eyebrows
Starting point is 00:35:26 to be like little tiny, teeny lines. So I don't know that I'm really of a place where it was better back then. So it's not like we should go back to the old days. We just need new eyebrow days. I don't like the magic marker eyebrows and I don't like the gel eyebrows where everybody brushes their eyebrows to the middle. I don't like the gel eyebrows where everybody brushes their eyebrows to the middle. I don't like either of those. Personally, I don't like mine either, how I'm just growing really long individual strands
Starting point is 00:35:50 of eyebrows that start curling on their own. Each one of them is auditioning for Little Orphan Annie, the eyebrow version. So I don't like my own trend either. So I don't know where I stand with this. Well, I what I will say is who to Katan sister of Chris Katan, as we all know, she is I liked her quite a bit. I actually I would not be surprised that they tried to recruit her for this show. Right? Like she she was very comfortable on camera and she was like very I don't I don't know why I'm giving a review on who that guys.
Starting point is 00:36:26 Here's my I gave her four stars my yelp review of who to get to and approve of who to just a general just a personality. I enjoyed who I didn't know who she was, but I enjoyed her. She was an out of the box hit for me. So Chanel knows her because she used to do her makeup. And she recently saw a Naomi Campbell show that I walked in, she says, and then we see footage of that. And she's like, huda babes, I'm starting a makeup line.
Starting point is 00:36:55 And she said to me, Ayaan, I love you. Whatever you need, let me know. And so we did. So now they talk about kids and all that stuff. And then Chanel's coming to her for advice. And she's like, you know, like, it's hard for me, like, I just started this and like, learning office stuff, like sending email, doing things like that. I don't, I don't understand. And she's like, Oh, you don't need to send emails. I don't send emails.
Starting point is 00:37:19 No, when you get to the hood level, you don't send emails here. Let me call Stephanie, get in here. Okay, hold on. Here comes my assistant. Okay. What you do is you just tap Morse code on Stephanie's back and then she transcribes it into an email later. Okay. Dear mom, I will see you later tonight for dinner. Okay. Thanks. Love your daughter Huda. See, it works for everyone. So she's like, oh yeah, I have every... So she shows her the products, you know, and who does like, I am so excited about your products. Look at these. They're amazing. Wow. Is that your name? Fantastic. I'm so proud of you, Chanel. Yeah. And they just talk, they talk shop a little bit. She talks about, you know, that Chanel should get
Starting point is 00:38:05 Italian manufacturers, because she goes, because it's so easy to hop on over. It's only like seven hours away. And then, yeah. Cause Zion's getting everything made in America, which is far, you know? And I hope that she knows it's even further, cause in America we have everything made in China.
Starting point is 00:38:21 So you're basically getting it made in China, sent to America and then sent to you. You're basically wasting a lot of money on postage, okay? And who does like, you know what you need? Let me just make one quick suggestion for you. I mean, your packaging looks great. Love your name. You should keep your name. That's good. Don't need a name change. Love your face. That's good. Just one little suggestion. You should be in retail. You should be in Sephora. Okay, bye. Oh, you don't know Sephora? Okay, I do. Do you want me to... Stephanie, get in here. Stephanie, your nails. I'm doing it on purpose, Stephanie, so you don't fuck up another email like you did to my mother, okay. Sephora call me or die.
Starting point is 00:39:06 Okay, you're gonna be hearing from Sephora soon. Stephanie get out you're bleeding all over my carpet. So yeah, she basically is like business, business, business. I like it well on point. She's like, Okay, well, here's what you need to do. You don't know the value of business and they're investors and they want to make money and they're probably going to try to give you like less equity in your company and you already have such a strong presence. I think it's better conversation for later on. So like you want to really keep maintaining your equity, have like a high market share
Starting point is 00:39:35 with that sort of stuff and just get started with maybe some test marketing, you know, and get into a few stores, establish a presence and really make sure you build up your margins and you know, Ayaan's like, uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh. Ayaan's like, I have no idea what you're talking about right now. I'm just going to nod. I'm going to nod right now and look pretty. Well, she's telling her, so who owns this? Do the investors?
Starting point is 00:39:58 She goes, no, I own every single part of it. But isn't this a collab with her makeup person that Caroline Brooks said the makeup person does everything and that I'm not sure how any of this works, but I think so. So who does basically like, yeah, I'm going to put you into Sephora and they, it's nice. That's nice. She struck him with her motor vehicle. She had been under the influence that she left him there. In January 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O'Keefe.
Starting point is 00:40:41 It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lovers quarrel en route to the next location. What happens next depends on who you ask. Was it a crime of passion? If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling. This was clearly an intentional act.
Starting point is 00:41:01 And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia. Or a corrupt police cover-up. If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover-up to prevent one of their own from going down. Everyone had an opinion. And after the 10-week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision. To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is. Law and Crime presents the most in-depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.
Starting point is 00:41:34 You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery+. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify. Okay, so let's go over to Sara's house. So Saba and look who's here. Guys, who ordered the french fries? It's Nina. It is Nina back. I hope she talks about french fries. I saw Nina and I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:41:59 What has Nina been up to? Is her huge apartment finished? Has she had french fries lately? Has she made any fruit? How is her fruitcake business going? Oh yeah, I forgot about the fruitcake. You know, get rid of the fruitcake and make a french fry cake business.
Starting point is 00:42:14 That's something unique. Yeah, Nina's big return. They didn't even give her, normally when someone makes a return, they, we get to see them walk in the door. We didn't even have a moment of like, people are showing up with Sarah, everything, we're just there, they're already talking. And Sabah is, she's like, I brought you something to cheer you up. You know, this is the necklace
Starting point is 00:42:34 that I've been wearing up. Oh, here's something else to cheer you up. It's a letter from the desk of Sabah Youssef. I have decided to amicably part ways with Sarah because she didn't say thank you for the necklace I just gave her. Thank you so much. No further questions at this time. Oh, really? Well, I would like to make a public statement on Twitter about sabotage.
Starting point is 00:42:54 Heart emoji, smiley face emoji, wacky face emoji, thumbs up emoji, shark emoji, thumbs down emoji, exclamation point emoji, because exclamation points weren't enough. So, yes, Haba gives her a necklace and she's like, this necklace is an animal in an astronaut, because you know we're aliens and we belong on a different planet. So, that's why they're into aliens, because they are aliens. Like, they're so above humans that they're like not even considering themselves human. And by the way, we do see buddhas. We see some aliens. We see religious, we'd see all sorts of things that they close. Spencer gifts, you know, porcelain, um, toilet paper joke, um,
Starting point is 00:43:37 a koozie that says I'm with stupid and at points to the left area 51 stuff. So Saba gives this necklace. Um, and Nina, Nina's like, and what about my wacky necklace? It's like, I don't know who you are. So, so Sarah's like, thank you for cheering me up because like, listen, I have to tell you the weirdest thing ever. You guys won't believe what happened. Okay. And Nina's like, I'm dying to know really anything. I've just been in my apartment for a year, bored out of my mind. I can only make so many batches of French fries and fruitcakes. So I stop and I go,
Starting point is 00:44:11 oh, Taylor, it's very bad. It's very bad, Nina. I'm sorry I'm laughing. It's just like a nervous laugh. I shouldn't be laughing right now, but it's very bad. So Sarah is like, well, my maid for the past six months has been closing the cameras in the house and bringing in multiple men and the men asked her for my picture and his picture, meaning McComb. She's pointing to McComb. Sitting right next to Sarah, by the way. And she's like, they're asking what times we go out when I come back. And Nina's like, what a psycho! What an absolute psycho! She was, yes. And on her phone, there's pictures of like people in her room with alcohol.
Starting point is 00:44:47 Dun, dun, dun. And I went to the tombs like, yeah, we went to the police station like three times. I said, officer, if twerking is against the law, then put me in jail, cause here we go. So Sara's like, ever since I came back from Bali, the magic of Bali is over. So, what the hell? This is crazy. This story is so crazy. How did they find this out if they've been covering the cameras? Do you think she noticed like missing footage? And she was like, wait a
Starting point is 00:45:18 minute. Maybe, it may have been that. But she says, she goes that there are texts of these men commenting on my son's picture saying oh my God, he's cute. We love his hair We love his skin and these men were asking her what time does he come home who waits for him? Do they have money? I mean all these questions indicate one thing kidnap ransom So basically she's done with the court case and the police over this situation, which is Horrifying. I mean like that is a nightmare And she's saying how my tomb is traumatized,
Starting point is 00:45:45 which I totally understand. Also though, like maybe don't have him sitting in on the conversation with the adults talking about this and like, like reminding him of how truly scary this was. Can we like protect this child a little bit, you know, like she, I mean, she says later on, like, you know, she had to be open with my tomb about what happened because the police were asking him, but I'm like, I still feel like there's a on, like, you know, she had to be open with my tomb about what happened because the police were asking him.
Starting point is 00:46:05 But I'm like, I still feel like there's a way that like, we don't have to like, make this child feel so scared right now. The whole story is just so bizarre. Like what these guys were on the Instagram commenting on his picture, like he's so cute and I love his hair. I mean, what kind of kidnappers are these? Like these are the low, the least amount of chill I've ever heard me kidnap. Like who does that? What? This is the craziest shit I've ever heard. It's crazy that they're, that you live in a world that
Starting point is 00:46:34 this is just like, Oh yeah. I mean, it's like, Oh, that must mean ransom. They're like, yep, it was ransom. Yeah, they were going to hold them for ransom. Isn't that crazy? It's like, yeah, oh my God. Glad you got her. So then she says, she was like, you know, and I was just like, leave my house. It's over. I don't want to see you again. But then I go to her room and she's packing and I start seeing my stuff. My gold necklace, my mom's earrings, and back to him goes, your underwear?
Starting point is 00:46:56 She's like, yes. Yes, my underwear. Like you shared a lot with your son about the situation. And Nina's like, well, she was probably plotting to take him for ransom. How scary is that? God forbid. Oh, hold on. Let me knock on the table. Am I back on the show? Is the audition over? So, Sarah says that, that my team is really traumatized. He's having a hard time sleeping, doesn't want wanna be alone,
Starting point is 00:47:26 and he doesn't even go to the bathroom alone. And this is where she says she had to disclose everything, because the police had to talk to him. And Sarah then, my tomb sitting right there, and she goes, now when the bus picks him up, I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I'm like, could you not say that in front of my tomb? Now he's gonna be paranoid that there's someone lurking
Starting point is 00:47:44 in the bushes at the bus stop. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what you do if you're the child. I mean, my parents scared the shit out of me. So that's why I'm being quiet. I'm like, I think your parents are supposed to be like, you were almost kidnapped and you better watch your ass and stay close to me at all times.
Starting point is 00:48:00 Because my parents made us watch this movie, this TV movie that came out over and over. And it was about, I think it was called Adam, and it was about this little kid that got kidnapped and like terrible things happened to him. And then every, there was like a big satanic panic happening back in those days in the 80s. Yeah. And so they're like, you're going to get stolen by Satanists and you're going to be eaten and, you know, mutilated and horrible things. And I mean, that was considered good parenting when I was growing up.
Starting point is 00:48:26 So I'm, I don't know. It seems fine to be there, she's telling me to. No, you're totally right. Now that I think about it, like we were raised during the era of like, don't talk to strangers, stranger danger, right? I was in my gruff, the crime dog who is like, don't talk to strangers.
Starting point is 00:48:43 And so this, what Sarah's doing is literally not even new. Now that I say it, I think I'm gonna unclutch my pearls a little bit because this is like a tried and true parental instinct, which is to make your child feel like there's danger behind every bush because actually they should feel that way. Because there literally is danger behind every bush. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:49:03 I mean, I don't know what the maybe there's a middle ground between like traumatizing your children with things that could happen to the point where you turn them into cynical idiots who feel nothing like me. Or if you, you know, go too far, like the modern way of just being, oh my God, don't talk to them about anything. Even hearing about this thing could, you know, traumatize them. Like I was reading something the other day that Generation Z or whatever is having social anxiety to the point where they can't order off of menus. Like they have to have some more because they're just raised so differently. There was no sensitivity for us and then so much sensitivity for them. Maybe there's a middle ground, guys. I don't really know what it is. The fact is though, you know, if you can't trust a maid, we're all fucked because then guess what we're
Starting point is 00:49:49 gonna have to do clean things. And that would be terrible. That would be terrible. But yeah, I remember when I was a kid, my mom dropping me off for day camp and she wasn't able to pick me up. So someone else's mom was gonna, I was gonna basically carpool home. And she's like, not just remember, she has to say a password to you. So I wouldn't get into the wrong car. She's like, and the password is mushroom. I was like, okay.
Starting point is 00:50:16 And like I've carried that with me to my day. I'm like mushroom, like literally to this day, if someone like pulls up next to me and goes mushroom, I'll be like, okay, well I'll get in your car. You're safe. But your mom was just setting that person up to get arrested anyway, because then that person comes up and goes, hey, you want a mushroom? That person's going to jail.
Starting point is 00:50:34 I feel like your mom's just setting people up for for failure. So happy. The mushroom car is here. The mushroom is going home. Okay, so then of course, Sara is like, on top of this, on top of my son almost being kidnapped and held for ransom money, I'm also having trouble with my Instagram thought. On top of everything else. So there she goes from kidnapping to a hot guy on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:51:03 Like, uh, it's like, uh, if a, if a ransom weren't enough, let me ransom the handsome. So Sarah's like, she's like, oh, so a keen, well, a keen made me drop a deal at her $45,000. I'm like, no, I'm not defending a keen here. He's a piece of shit. And he should never have told you what to do. You were the one who dropped it. Why would you ever drop it for this piece of shit instagram thought that she wouldn't i don't believe this i don't believe that she was offered 45 000 in the first place and i don't believe that she would drop it for her for a king that's craziness what
Starting point is 00:51:39 i don't know what she's playing at here but i don't believe this for a second. She's way too smart for that. Yeah. So she says that she, she says, Akeen made me drop it. And she said the whole thing, because like the guy was shirtless on Instagram and he's like a sports figure. And he was like, what's wrong with that? I mean, that's like saying, you can't have ketchup with your French fries.
Starting point is 00:51:58 My back, my back. So, Sarah's like, yeah, because I was going to talk about spirituality and business and you know, like growth. Sarah, Sarah, let me have your hand. Okay, I'm gonna see your hand. I see zero rings.
Starting point is 00:52:17 You know where else I see zero rings? My plate because I won't eat an onion ring. Fries only. No onion rings. Laugh a little louder. The producers are watching. Laugh. I was really funny just now. Saba loved that. Look at her go. Come on, Saba. Saba.
Starting point is 00:52:33 Come on, Saba. Saba says, come on. But then I did a test because he had a photo shoot coming up. So I was like, how much are they paying you for your photo shoot? And he said, it's between three and 5k. Which is it? Is it three or five? There's a big difference between three and 5k. What is it? I don't believe anything that comes out of Sarah's mouth, honestly. I find her to be so full of shit on this show. So she's like, I was like, how much are they paying you? He said between three and 5,000. So I said, then you drop it for me and make me feel like the sacrifice I did for you
Starting point is 00:53:06 is reciprocated. And guess what? He did the shoot. He did it anyway. So first of all, I don't, I think that if you're doing tests on your future husband, that's a bad sign. You don't like, relationships should not be about tests.
Starting point is 00:53:21 That I hate that. I literally hate that. And I say that as someone who loves doing tests. But like you shouldn't be testing. Especially not this early on. Second of all, also he's a dick because he well I don't think that he was obligated to drop it as much as she was obligated. Neither of them should have dropped their gigs. Also his, I feel like when he said drop it, like at least he gave some, well, you know, I can't even justify it.
Starting point is 00:53:48 Cause I was like, his reasoning was so awful and so stupid, according to Sarah, that it was obnoxious. But hers was just like, just drop it. I was like, at least give, at least you give. You do it too. If you get to control me, do I get to control you as well? It's like, what kind of bargain is that? How about you just don't get to control me in general? And I also don't like Nina saying, well, I don't see a ring on your finger. I don't give a
Starting point is 00:54:09 shit if there is a ring on her finger. You know, we were saying this last week, that doesn't matter either. You don't get some magical power over your spouse just because you got married. No, if she wants to do a job, she should do the damn job. That's crazy. How is she supposed to pay the ransom for her son? She could have made ransom in one podcast episode. So she yeah, I look, my feeling is like it was clear after last episode that Sarah should dump the guy and they're even and they're even telling her, okay, you should dump them. Okay, you should dump. And Nina's like, you know, I love you, right? Do you remember what I told you from before when I was a full-time cast member, wasn't I? No, I wasn't. Okay, I just, I don't see it happening, Sarah. And Sabah's like, I know you love him, even though according to your storyline, you've
Starting point is 00:54:59 also only met him like three times, but apparently you love him now. But he does have a big insecurity and an insecure man is never going to admit that he's insecure. And Nina's like, she deserves something completely different, much like I deserve another season on the show. And that's just not a good guy. He's not the one for you. You know what? I want to give him a chance. Get the fuck out of here with this. I can't with you. I take nothing you say seriously, because if I did take it seriously, I would completely lose all respect for you. The reason I have some respect for you is because I assume you're lying to hustle. Like, I don't know what your hustle is. I mean, I know what part of
Starting point is 00:55:32 your hustle is selling bullshit spirituality. So, I know that that's part of it. But, you know, listen, I live in LA. I get it. I get it. A hustle is a hustle. So, you hustle. But this whole like, oh, I'm just going to stay with a man that I know is toxic and, you know, so far emotionally abusive. Even though I know this, I'm telling you on TV and I have all these people telling me, no, I can't with that. Stop it. Pete It doesn't speak so greatly for her spiritual healing, given that she did have, like, she came out of two or three really wretched relationships that were really bad for her spiritual healing, given that she did have like, she came out of two or three really wretched relationships that were really bad for her and that she's still willing to look the other way for when red flags are blatantly in her face and her friends are saying don't do this, that she's still like, I want to give it another chance.
Starting point is 00:56:19 But I honestly the cynical part of me says she just wants to give it another chance so that way she can shoot a scene with him where she tells him off and then says it's over. Yeah, she's like, I'm breaking up with him in the season finale. So I think that's honestly what it is. She's like, I'm not going to break up, break up with him off camera. He's still in Germany. I need him to come back. Have a seat. So now we go over to lunch, the sit down with Stamber and Lisa.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And it's beautiful. Basically, they're at a beautiful place. And so Lisa comes and she's like, can I have something for my purse? And I love this whole rich lady thing of like, I need a separate chair for my very expensive purse. Oh, thank you. So she's like, so how was Bali? It's timbers like I feel like
Starting point is 00:57:08 I've been hit by a truck, which is something I would love to do to Sergio someday. I was gonna say, actually hired that truck to hit Sergio, but unfortunately, he swung me around when he was hugging me, singing baby, baby, baby over and over again, hit me, hit me. Unfortunately, he thinks vaginas are trucks. So it's a very confusing thing. By the way, haven't they all said, I feel like at some point in this episode, they've also felt like they've been hit by a truck. They've all been hit by trucks.
Starting point is 00:57:35 So then Lisa's like, yeah, it was a good time. And that's why I was a little confused when in the morning it was like, you didn't talk to me. And I thought I would like that. I hate when people talk to me. But then I discovered that I really wanted to see her from you. So that way I can tell you, shut up, I don't want to talk to you. So Lisa's like, well, I think there were things that went left at that dinner. And mostly it's because you threw Ayaan under the bus. And you went right back to that Caroline that I knew you so well to be. And she's like, I've said, I'm sorry for that. All right, I didn't consider you. I didn't consider Ayan. I didn't consider Sergio, which actually is normal. I'm not going to consider him.
Starting point is 00:58:15 I only threw under the bus because a truck was coming and I was the one who got hit by it. So, you know, we all got hit by some sort of vehicular experience. There's another bus coming. Tell me so I could throw Sergio in front of that one? He's got to be hit by something. A tricycle, anything. So she gives like a pretty good apology here. She's like, it wasn't a dig at you two. I didn't want to come between you, you know, but having great time with you.
Starting point is 00:58:40 And Lisa's like, yeah, I know. And I know we've had our issues in the past, but the only way for us to truly move on is if we speak about it. And you know, when I told you I was, I was going to move on, I meant it, but like, am I still hurt? Yes. Cause you really cut me. You really said some mean things. And we see a flashback to last year's reunion where ultimately
Starting point is 00:58:58 Stanbury accuses Lisa of being a, uh, like a escort and escort. Well, yes. And she says, well, I'll admit my responsibility for things that have happened in the past, but I did feel like I was being provoked. So we see this flashback, and she's got to website her readers in the flashback. And she's like, you said this, you said that,
Starting point is 00:59:18 you said that my husband was gay. So Lisa's like, well, you were provoked, so then you called me an escort? I mean, should I have said certain things? No. But when you said that, it affected my children, which of course is the ultimate housewives. You always bring that out for your big guns, right? You affected my children, especially in Dubai, and going through the carpool line.
Starting point is 00:59:43 Excuse me, ma'am, but going through life in Dubai when somebody has just accused you on national television of being a gay man who's married to somebody to hide their sexuality ain't great either. You know that that's illegal in that town. So you don't get to use your whole, but I'm a mother and you hurt me. You could get somebody killed. And this ago, she says, like she says, you know, I'm a mother and you hurt me. You could get somebody killed. And Lisa says, like she says, you know, you know, I'm college educated. My parents work so hard for me for who I am. I worked hard to be who I am. You know, it's hard living in Dubai and as a black woman, there's so many stereotypes. One of them is being an escort, which, you know, all fair. But then when she said, I don't want to drop my kids off at school because I'm afraid the moms
Starting point is 01:00:23 are going to watch and heard rumors and will judge me or my child because of it I'm like well, I feel like that's the least of the issues if these people are watching you on real house was in Dubai They're gonna think all sorts of things about you and the entire cast Like you're just the moment you sign up to be on real housewives. You're signing up for a lifetime of embarrassment That's gonna haunt you for years and years and years That whole being a hooker thing. Yeah, that is really bad. Like I don't, her whole thing about, I'm not saying like you shouldn't get to cry in Carpool Lane or whatever. I get how that would be so hurtful.
Starting point is 01:00:52 I'm just saying her whole acting like, Oh, well you hurt me. I sure I was being petty, but you really hurt me and I have children. You just like tried to like kind of out somebody on national TV or make it look like something you were outing some I mean That's just not cool either. That's really low too So I just think that she shouldn't get off with like, you know, what you did was way worse What you did could have been life-threatening. So I mean you're both you're both bad here. Just apologize and get over it Yes, I definitely like you. I hold space for the fact that like Lisa is a very accomplished like you, I hold space for the fact that like Lisa is a very accomplished person and to be sort of reduced down to just
Starting point is 01:01:26 like, oh, you're an escort is like incredibly hurtful and probably triggering to a lot of experiences she's had in terms of like, people not appreciating how smart she is and accomplished. I was left what moved the needle less for me was her saying she can't even drop the kids off at Carpool, like you can't drop the kids off at school anymore. I was like, well, I just don't have empathy for that because I went, I took the bus all my life. I'm like, yeah, well, like, like there are a lot of us who don't actually get personally driven by their parents to school.
Starting point is 01:02:01 I love that we can make all this about like our own childhood. Your argument's stupid because I had to take a bus. personally driven by their parents to school. I love that we can make all this about like our own childhood. Your argument's stupid because I had to take a bus. If you said, okay, her kids got made fun of as a result of this, or she lost business deals, but if it's like, oh, you can't drop the kids off a cart, like at school, I'm like, I don't know. To me, I'm like, I just want better evidence,
Starting point is 01:02:23 a better case. Everything else can go. She's like, and you know, what if want better evidence, a better case. Everything else should be. She's like, and you know, what if people think it's how I got my husband? And what if they don't want to invite my kids to birthday parties anymore? Because they think that, you know, I was an escort, you know? I mean, Dubai is just like, it's very conservative and people really cross you off the social board if they feel like you're not up to their standards. Well, I can't wait to take my gay husband to the next PTA meeting when we have a child. Thanks.
Starting point is 01:02:49 Yes, exactly. I mean, yeah, I got that too. You don't want your kids to be alienated because of stuff the parents do. But also, if it's a really conservative place and something like this could like derail your status in society, then my feeling is either don't do the show or don't live in the place. Right? Well, yeah, I mean, but that's like every, we'd say that about every like plot that came up in here, like, well, you're living there. So I don't know this whole thing.
Starting point is 01:03:24 I mean, it's, it's just kind of like the you started it. That's I go back to a grade school argument where you started it. So you don't get to complain now that like it went too far. You were the one who went too far for a sorry, you started it, you're bad. But in reality, they both did shitty things. So Stambury is like, well, I'm glad we had this lunch where we still decided to hate each other. But I guess we're doing it with some more calories in our system. Yes, I still hate you.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I still hate you as well. Okay, well, this was fun. Let's not ever do this again. All right. Let's confirm our mutual hatred by saying, I really do like you and I really do like you too. Great. Now we know where we both stand.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Still hate each other. This was a classic Housewives lunch where they're like, okay, I guess we have to shoot a scene and makeup but they just end it with like, still hate you still hate you. So now they are trying now it's time to get ready for polo there are people are trying on hats trying on different tea party hats and things like that brooks arrives the polar grounds first and she's like i have such a love for polo horses are my favorite animals like the sport is just amazing i already have i've i've been friends before mooted by the al habdor family like i i actually i invented polo
Starting point is 01:04:42 i don't know you know that i was like they should call. And I said, no, call it Polo is better. And they're like, you know, Caroline Brooks, you made a great sport. So that's why I come here and I own it. It's like, it's basically my sport. So I wanted everyone here. And then Sarah's telling us what Polo is. She's like, Polo is very popular in Dubai.
Starting point is 01:04:59 It's the sport of the elite. You know, they stand around, they brag to each other. They wear all this jewelry and fancy clothes. It's just not my vibe. It's not my energy. $45,000 for one podcast. That's what I'm offered usually often, often, very, very often. Sarah is saying this, everyone wearing jewelry and bragging is not her vibe. As she shows up in jewelry and like in designer clothes and everything, right? I just... It says 45,000 a few times again.
Starting point is 01:05:26 I'm just so amused. I'm so, she amuses me so much with her hypocrisy. So, uh, Brooks is like, Oh no, I dress like they want to ride a horse. I invented those too. I don't know. We know about horses. They used to be cows. And I said, why don't you make their heads longer
Starting point is 01:05:41 and their tails longer and the cows, how horse cow, Brooks. So Talene's like, Brooks and I, we made up since Bali, but Raffy and Brooks, they haven't seen each other since Caroline's housewarming party. So this could be really bad, but I don't want it to be really bad. I want things between Roth and Caroline to be good, because when things are good, they're really good, but right now they're not really good. Oh my God, this woman. Did you see the clip that was going around of her that she posted on her Instagram or I think it was her Instagram this weekend? I think she was in LA trying
Starting point is 01:06:24 to go to a restaurant with her family and she gets on Instagram. She's like, do not, hi, this is me, Tal. Just here's what I'm saying. Do not go to this restaurant because they wouldn't set me and my children because Roth came in on a phone call, on a business call, because he has business that he does on his telephone. And they said,
Starting point is 01:06:47 you cannot come in here on the phone. He was on the phone because of a business. Then they tell me, they can't give me a table for seven, only for six. And we had seven. And I said, we've only got one more than six. You surely can fit us. And they said, no, and not when you're out. Do not ever come to this restaurant. And then it cuts off. And then she comes back and she's in the car and she goes, I just want to tell you, that is the worst restaurant I've ever been to. Do not go to that restaurant ever. They're horrible. And the hostess, Missy, Missy, that's her name. Her name is Missy. She's the host. I mean, she just went off. And I was like, I don't know what you think this is giving, but you are awful. You're a terrible human being.
Starting point is 01:07:28 And then all the comments were like, oh yeah, we go to that restaurant. There's no more than six people per table. And they have a sign that says you can't be on your cell phone. I need to look. I'm like furiously looking this up right now. I was like, I'm already, but I can't find it. Oh wait wait. Okay, I died I saw the chorus on reddit my favorite, you know here it is on reddit. What place is she talking about? She said something square Did you find it? Something's okay. I found her video
Starting point is 01:08:03 Start it from the top. This is I I mean, by the way, you sounded exactly like her. They wouldn't cheat us. They said that it could only be six people, even though there was plenty of room at the table. Hillstone Kirby? I thought her as the... Hillstone like the, like the nationwide... Okay, can I say, okay, Talleen, let me tell you something. I have now, now I have something to say.
Starting point is 01:08:32 She was Hillstone Kirby. So she was, that's in like Texas, I think. Well, it's in Houston. There's one in Houston and one in Santa Monica, but none of them say Kirby. They just called Hillstone. So I don't know. Guess what? Oh, Houston.
Starting point is 01:08:44 Yeah. Kirby. The Kirby one is in Houston. Yeah. Colleen needs to take a seat if she had one, but they don't have seven of them for her. But here's why she needs to take a seat because Ronnie, you and I went to Hillstone in New York City once and we were there. We talked about this on the podcast. We were there and we had to sit at the bar. Remember we sat next to the hot guy from TJ Maxx headquarters. Remember we sat next to the hot guy from TJ Maxx headquarters. He's a Maxx corporate. So we're there.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Sierra, the pop star comes in married to Russell Wilson of, of football fame. She, Sierra comes in. They don't have, they have no seats in this restaurant. It is, it is packed. They don't give a seat. They don't see even Sierra. And she's 45 times more famous than Talene. And what does Sierra do? She stands at a high top. She orders food for her whole family, her whole crew. She doesn't complain. She's there. They get their food and then they move on. There was no Instagram live. There was no furious story about how Sierra
Starting point is 01:09:48 was mistreated by Hillstone restaurant. She just ate her food. She provided for the people around her and she moved on with her life. Now did Ron and I give up our seats for Sierra? No, of course not. Cause we had, you know. Are you kidding?
Starting point is 01:10:02 We had better seats than Sierra. You want to talk about getting on your Instagram. We were like, guys, we had better seats. So Sierra, you want to get on your Instagram? We were like, guys, we were so better than Sierra. So she deserves to have problems in their lives that that to two Bravo podcasters had better seats than her. I'm just saying this reeks of low level celebrity from Talleen. That's what this is. This is someone who now has a taste of celebrity in the world of Bravo.
Starting point is 01:10:26 I'm probably their lowest ranked and lowest rated show. I don't know why I'm defending Hillstone so much. It's more likely beyond Hillstone. I mean, it's that those are the rules and Hillstone's big, their big boys, like they they're big boys and girls. They can totally take it. But to go after a hostess and like name her by name over and over again, trying to get her fired because she was following the rules. And by the your husband's a fucking jackass dude we've all seen him on TV screaming at a woman and cursing at a woman with his bad doll hair wig you know you can't treat people like that and I imagine he probably went in there and yelled at some fucking 20 year old waitress or a hostess yapping on his phone at the top of his fucking lungs.
Starting point is 01:11:06 You're so rude. You're so fucking trashy and tacky. And your husband was just handed that money. You fucking you're not even a nepo baby. You're married to a nepo baby. Get over yourself, lady. Get the fuck over yourself. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Um, oh yeah. I'm not for hostesses. Don't fuck with Missy. On Reddit, it says their website gives all their guidelines. so pretty easy to see they've violated most of them. I'm sorry, I have to see what the Hillstone guidelines are. Guests attire can elevate or diminish, so we consider hats, tank tops, and flip-flops. Okay, none of that. Yeah, they said our restaurants are not intended for large groups and prefer more intimate experiences, serving parties of two.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Okay, and our availability of parties larger than four is very limited. I mean, it's just, it's just right there in plain text. And it says minimize distractions to other guests. Please take cell phone conversations out of seated areas, set devices to silent and limit the use of laptops or tablets. So in the case of know what I want to eat here. Hell no.
Starting point is 01:12:04 I want to be on my damn phone and I want Sierra to have a seat.- Know what I wanna eat here? Hell no. I wanna be on my damn phone and I want Sierra to have a seat. You know what I mean? I wanna be a group of eight people and we're all talking on the phone in an eight top. I wanna be at an eight top. We're all FaceTiming our friends from, you know, back in the day at the same time.
Starting point is 01:12:22 Like in general, do I think Hillstones is maybe a little rigid with these rules? Yes. But Talene, you're just not famous enough to pull this. Yeah, Talene. Sorry, sorry, Talene. Try harder next time. Not that you're not trying hard. Yeah, try hard. All right, so let's get back to it. Anyway, I just thought that would be fun to tell you back because crazy.
Starting point is 01:12:40 You knew that would activate me. So then, Talene doesn't want to fight between Brooks and Raph. And Brooks tells us, I've known Raph for before I even knew Tullien. So when we fell out, my heart was more painful because I've known him for so long. I've been hurt even more than a heartbeat between me and Tullien. And I want to have a private conversation with Raph. I want to talk to him about how he made me feel. But right now is not the time of the play. When
Starting point is 01:13:08 I talk to him, I want him sitting on a toilet with a crack that could fall into the ground in any moment. Does this mean that we're going to have to watch a scene between Brooks and Raf? Because I really don't need it. I don't care about their console, like the, not consolation. I don't, they're, what's the word? Things getting better. Reconciliation. I'm trying to think of it. I don't care about the reconciliation.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Okay, we can just put it into flashback. We're all good. Yeah. So then Chanel comes in and she's like, bow to the queen, bitches. And she's like, is it just me or do I look better than all of you combined? She looks like she's going to the funeral for a flower pot. She's like a flower died and I will now wear a flower pot on my head
Starting point is 01:13:55 made out of black glitter. She looks like she's wearing a cathedral bell on her head. And I appreciate that it gives you shade in the heat, but like it was definitely not polo-esque. Yeah. So they're, they all look crazy basically. And they're also mostly wearing huge hats, which is crazy because this is polo. Polo is not for the big hats, but okay. And so then Michael Karolanski comes and he's like, you look like you're going to a funeral. Where are you going? So then Brooks asks Stanbury if Chanel said hi and
Starting point is 01:14:35 somebody's like, no, we could do everything's good. So Brooks is like saying, I don't know, they're just like watching polo. They're making small talk, you know. A lot of things really happen actually for a little bit. They're just talking about their clothing for a bit. But Stambury does mention, she's like, well, I think that everybody here watch Pretty Woman and they think that's what polo attire is. It's like ridiculous. And then Lisa came dressed like a naughty school headmistress, she says, because Lisa's in like a little tennis skirt. Like she does look like a sexy skirt. You look like a sweater.
Starting point is 01:15:08 She was wearing a sweater with a blazer over it. I'm like, it is 400 degrees out there. How are you doing this? Of all the things that confuse me about this show, the maids being thrown in prison and kidnapping children, all of that, the thing that confuses me the most is how they're in 120 degrees in leather acting like it's just a normal fall day in New York. I've never understood it. I don't understand the logistics of how they shoot this
Starting point is 01:15:32 show because they're wearing so much clothing in such intense heat. Yeah, so they make little comments about each other's outfits and stuff and kind of diss each other and then the match begins. stuff and kind of diss each other. And then the match begins, dun, dun, dun. And so, Lisa and Sarah making small talk and then Sarah brings up her nanny stuff. And Lisa's like, what? She was, yes, she was going to kidnap my child. I mean, she must have because there were like comments and then there was guys and then there was drinking in my house. And Lisa goes, well, she's not arrested or anything crazy like that. And Sarah goes, yeah, she's in jail. She's in jail in the Middle East. And she's like, that's the law. Bye, go to jail. Yeah, she's basically like, I think Lisa's implying, like, she's going to die there. Yeah, Lisa's like, that's harsh. She's like, what did you do? And she's like, yep,
Starting point is 01:16:22 bye, go to jail. I mean, honestly, it sounds like this maid should be in jail. But yeah, it's like, what did you do? And she's like, Yep, bye go to jail. I mean, honestly, it sounds like this mage should be in jail. But yeah, it's like, wow, Middle East jail sounds not like a walk in the park. So Stambert is like, Okay, people went to jail. That was funny, by the way, when Sarah was like, Yeah, you're gonna come to my kid, go to jail. It's like, wow. She literally, she literally commanded them to go to jail. And they went to jail. She was like a monopoly board. So, Sam Bray was like, all right, but all this talk about ransom and children being stolen has made me thirsty.
Starting point is 01:16:53 Sergio, champagne, Sergio. Okay, Garcon, Sergio. Come on. He's like, okay, honey, here you go, honey. Here you go, honey. And Michael goes, oh my God, he is so pussy webbed. Am I right, bros? Bro hands? Am I right? Can we just like razz him a little bit? Who wants to give a wedgie to the little guy? Right, bros? I just would like to mention something right now. I've been to polo matches with royalty, the Queen, famous people playing huge matches. My ex boyfriend had a polo team in America. So I went to way too many polo games every single weekend and I've never heard of a gold coin search because that's what they have to do now.
Starting point is 01:17:33 Instead of putting in the divots with their feet, they are going to look for gold coins in the field. Yeah. So Lisa's like, I have no idea what I'm looking for, but if it has to do with the gold and digging Brooks is the perfect person to know. She's the perfect person for it. And now I know why she likes polo. So then, let's see.
Starting point is 01:17:58 I don't know. It's a lot of small. It's like a nice event. Like everyone's having a nice time at the event. It was a nice, uneventful event. I don't know. It's a lot of small. It's like a nice event. Like everyone's having a nice time with the event. Uneventful event like really nothing happened. You know, they they look for someone else, some other person finds the gold. And then Stanbury and Chanel sit down to chat to sort of like check in with each other and Sam Burrows like, you know,
Starting point is 01:18:20 as you know, I went out to lunch with Lisa who I still hate, but I said I liked and I think think it was needed to happen. And I explained to her how much I value my friendship with you. And I was enjoying even hanging out with her. It's wild. Of course, am I just saying this because you're more popular with the fans than I am? Perhaps. But it's what I will do.
Starting point is 01:18:38 Yeah. And they have the same conversation they've had a million times. She's like, you shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have. You were so bad. I was so bad. And she's like, but we were both wrong, all right? And if God had a stick, He'd beat both of us with it. She goes, He'd beat you first. They make up again. And then this is where Ayan's like, well, I don't think Stamberry
Starting point is 01:18:58 came between me and Lisa. I can't blame her for that. I think me and Lisa came between each other. So now she's like, the problem is deeper. It's between me and Lisa, but what is it? What is the problem? Yeah, she has to figure out why she is so angry about it. So now Brooks does a whole thing where she's like, I'm gonna judge everyone on your looks today. And the winner is Brooke Shields.
Starting point is 01:19:24 Congratulations Brooke Shields. What? No, she's not here. Okay, well, I don't know, Lisa, you win. Yeah, Lisa's sexy school marm outfit is the winner. Also there was a part where Chanel's like, I have to sit down for the judging and there wasn't a seat for her. And so she went and sat on Stambury's lap.
Starting point is 01:19:45 And they're like, oh my God, Lisa lost your best friend. And Lisa's just looking off in the distance like, it's not bothering her a bit. But is it? John, John. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Okay, so then let's see. We go to Sergio and Caroline
Starting point is 01:20:01 for the 47th birthday celebration. And he's like, there's only two occasions that I feel grateful to control the situations, which is having sex and today. Today. Wow. Yes, cause like when we have sex, it's like let's have sex honey,
Starting point is 01:20:14 and then like sleepy time, you know? Oh wait, did you just come? Ha ha, tiki tiki, okay. Okay, welcome. Okay. And then, honey, honey, are you ready? Are you ready for party? You're ready for party, honey? Yes, Sergio, just get on with it already. Okay, okay, honey, are you ready? Are you ready for birthday? You're ready for birthday, honey?
Starting point is 01:20:25 Yes, Sergio, just get on with it already. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Here we are. We're at the boat. Wow. I'm absolutely thrilled with this gift, Sergio. Can you hear my sarcasm? my sarcasm, Matani. So they get on the boat and he's made her, he's got a birthday cake made for her and she's like, wow, is this a cake of our house? This is amazing. Actually, it's inaccurate. Could you put a little bit of chipped marble in there? Where's the little cubby hole that you sleep in? I don't see it in the cake. So they're there on there. They're eating this cake and everything. And Stamber is like, you know, Sergio never ceases to amaze me the stuff he comes up with. I've never seen a cake like it. A cake in the shape of a big square. Who would have ever
Starting point is 01:21:17 thought in all of Dubai, they could have pulled it off. Absolutely insane. off. Absolutely insane. So, Stamber is like, you know, every year, I think I can't get better and you do better. I mean, last year you got me a circle cake, this year a square cake. Are there no shapes of limits for your imagination, Sergio? She's like, Sergio, we're one in a million. No one gets to do this. I mean, look at us here on a boat, eating a cake in the shape of a square, no babies running around ruining everything. God, life is great, isn't it? You know, people have affairs with men like you. They don't marry and then start families,
Starting point is 01:22:00 which is my way of saying I actually have another husband and I've been having an affair with you. So that's why we're not having a child. Consider yourself lucky. I did marry you. Good for you. This is all a sham. I'm pushing off the side of this boat. That's my birthday gift to me is killing you.
Starting point is 01:22:18 So she's like- Baby, baby, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. I want to talk to you about something. Are we having a baby or not? She's like, oh my god, Sergio, because the biggest fear I have is to end up alone later on in age. Caroline will be gone, my family will be gone, because everybody's old. Well, unless I push you over the side of this boat first, in which case you'll be gone and I'll get to live my life. If I don't have a baby, what will be my role in this life? Nothing. I will have no role in it.
Starting point is 01:22:45 You could do something, you know? What do you do? I mean, maybe you feel like that because you don't do anything. You know, it's like such a catch 22, which is also how I met Sergio, I caught a 22 year old because one day if you don't have a baby, you're not going to be around forever. Yeah, that's all I have been quiet because I'm Yeah. So this yeah, so she's like, all right, look, he goes look into my eyes. Are we actually having a baby or not? She's like, right now? Not
Starting point is 01:23:14 Sergio, how many times does she need to say no. But so by no, you mean we have baby right now? Right now? Tiki Tiki baby? Like, no, no baby. You're pregnant? You're giving birth right now? No, that's not how it works. You don't say you want a baby and it arrives in your uterus. All right, they're about to take our order. She will have the sermon. I'll have a baby, please. Hurry, please. No, Sergio. We're not having a baby. She goes, okay, but we're going to, right? She goes,
Starting point is 01:23:42 okay, is this a deal breaker or not? Just tell me. Okay, both of you are ridiculous. You know he wants a baby and you know she doesn't want a baby. So, who's at fault here? I don't think she's at fault for not wanting a damn baby, but you can't leave somebody on and make it sound like you're going to have a baby and then not have a baby. But then you shouldn't be pressuring anybody to have a baby. And if you need something more in your life, you shouldn't have married somebody who doesn't want to have a baby and get a job. Yeah, I don't think that they should have a baby. And I think that he should have realized that before he got married to Caroline Sandberg. I feel like she was pretty clear about this in the first season as well. And that was before they were married. So he had plenty
Starting point is 01:24:18 of chances to back out. And now he just, you know, he can get a plant. That's what I say. And she says, you know, I really have to think about it seriously. And I suppose ultimately this could be the one thing that divides us. Well, this could divide us. His stupidity could divide us. His clinginess could divide us.
Starting point is 01:24:37 The fact that he always interrupts me when I'm on the phone. Baurori that could divide us. There are a lot of things that actually could divide us. We're really a terrible couple if you think about it, but he's hot. So that's all that really matters for me. But it's funny that she's acting like, oh, and now finally Sergio's told me that this might be a deal breaker.
Starting point is 01:24:52 What do I do? They're like, Caroline, we're approaching the season finale. Could you create some sort of climactic decision for yourself? Thanks so much. All right, I've got it. When do I kill Sergio?
Starting point is 01:25:04 No, how about something about your baby? Fine, I'll do that one instead. I want her final scene to be in the Dubai jail, just being like, Hello, I'm here to speak with Mead Aldani. Hello. I'm willing to spring you out of here if you hold a baby for Sergio inside of you, can you do that? Yes or no? Come take our baby and then kidnap it. Will you do that for us? Listen, I found a perfect way to exploit your talents. Yeah, I don't know that they should have a baby.
Starting point is 01:25:35 I don't think they should have a baby. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. She doesn't want it. Don't do it. I really thought the season finale was going to be next week. With that sort of cliffhanger, it really implies the season finale was gonna be next week with that sort of cliffhanger
Starting point is 01:25:46 It really implies the season finale is coming up, but we are not there yet So we'll we'll keep an eye out. You're an eye out, you know, I mean we won't we'll just watch I'm guessing it'll be the one after because next week is 12. So I guess they'll do 13 Yeah, I think I think we're rapidly approaching a very very good season getting its finale. So everyone, thanks for being here. We have Orange County coming up later this week and go be sure to listen to the stuff you missed earlier this week if you have. Thanks for being here and we'll catch you in the next one. Bye bye.
Starting point is 01:26:22 Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Jamie, she has no less name-y! Hava Nagila Weber! Know your worth with Jason Kurtz! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! She's always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino! We wanna hang with Liz Lang! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! The Bay Area Betches, Betches!
Starting point is 01:27:04 And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva! Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper! Can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish!
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Starting point is 01:27:58 If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. I'm Dan Tuberski. In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York. I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad. I'm like, stop f***ing around. She's like, I can't.
Starting point is 01:28:27 A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast. It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls. With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low. Everybody thought I was holding something back. Well, you were holding something back. And tension, I. Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:42 No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.. No, it's hysteria. It's all in your head. It's not physical. You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating. Is this the largest mass hysteria since the witches of Salem? Or is it something else entirely? Something's wrong here.
Starting point is 01:28:54 Something's not right. Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder. A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early
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