Watch What Crappens - #2546 RHOC S18E09 Part One: Grapes of Wrath
Episode Date: September 6, 2024This is part one of a two-parter!The Real Housewives of Orange County are in Sonoma to celebrate equality and torture Shannon with more damning information from trash bag Johnny J’s/Fun Lex...i camp. Watch this recap as a video and get our Secret Lives of Mormon Wives bonus at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now.
Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, guess what happens when there's so much that crappens.
Whoa, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens.
We're a podcast that just loves to talk crap about Bravo.
I'm Ronnie, that's Ben over there. Hello, Ben.
Hi Ronnie, how's it going?
Good. Just want to apologize whoever is watching this on video.
By the way, we do video podcasts
every day. Their own crap is on demand on Patreon. That's also where you find our bonuses.
We're going to have a bunch of stuff going up there. We're changing our Patreon. It's going
to be much simpler soon. All that good stuff. But anyway, anyone who's watching this, hi, crap is
on demand, or weeks later on YouTube, which is free, you can do that too. Hi, YouTube.
I'm sorry I'm purple today.
I'm really working a lot with new webcam stuff.
You wouldn't know it because I mean,
I know this looks like a $5 production and it is,
but for some reason I'm just a different color every day,
I'm a different shade.
I'm not really sure what's going on,
but I do know that my blood pressure is out of control,
so I hope I'm not gonna eggplant out tonight.
And we'll talk about some of the bonus episode.
Isn't that exciting, Ben?
Are you excited to talk about blood pressure on this week's bonus?
I'm so excited. Um, hopefully I can lower some blood pressure by providing this bucolic view
of Sonoma, California. I've got the Sonoma live webcam on behind me. I mean, uh, I mean I'm
broadcasting from Sonoma, but yeah, this is Sonoma, California in honor
of Orange County because it's very odd that you would honor Orange County in California
with a city in a different part of California, but it's because they go there today on Orange
County.
But before we dive into that, you know, we talk all sorts of crap about crap about crop,
talk lots of crap about Bravo and Peacock and all of the different networks.
We're like, you know what?
We talk about the crops these days.
What's going on?
What's going on with the crops in Sonoma?
May I talk crap about FedEx?
May I do that?
Oh my God, please, I hate them.
You're the worst.
Okay, I need to advocate on behalf of my parents right now,
crap and listeners.
This has nothing to do with Bravo,
but I'm gonna use slash abuse the platform. So my parents,
uh, you know,
they're older and they're just trying to kind of get stuff out of their house.
And so they wanted to send me some paintings from their house.
So they sent it and they shipped it, shipped them with FedEx ground.
So one of the, so they brought the paintings to the FedEx store,
the FedEx store packaged them up and the FedEx store was like, you should really ensure you
shouldn't show the stuff you have to ensure. So my parents insured these things, which you know,
as you know, when you insure it's like, it's really expensive to insure. And it's also expensive just
to ship this shit. So they ship it. Most of the paintings arrive here in California. One of them
does not, one of them gets returned to the FedEx store because it gets damaged en route.
So my parents made them open it in the FedEx store.
So that way there's not any like, Oh, you guys took it home and broke it.
They opened it. It was broken FedEx was like, well,
we're not going to refund you. Like, okay, well file a claim.
Luckily where it's insured FedEx denied my parents, my sweet parents claim.
So in summary, FedEx made them insure it, shipped it, broke it, returned it, didn't
give any refund, didn't honor the insurance claim that they broke and they didn't even
wind up delivering the painting out here so I could even deliver, I could fix it out here
and hang it up on a wall. So my parents are like,
you know what, we're going to see FedEx and I am all for it.
So I just want to say everyone fuck FedEx and I'm, uh,
how do you do that to my parents? Yeah.
They suck anyway. I mean,
and you really see the difference cause when you use Amazon or something that
uses UPS all the time, it's quick, it's easy to return. Then FedEx comes,
like if something is shipped through,
I got a lamp, I got a lamp shipped through FedEx
and it was in this box, it's completely destroyed.
I mean the box, it looks like they were using it
as a bowling ball, okay, it was just thrown at the fence,
it wasn't put on the door or anything.
I mean they just suck, they suck all the way around,
so screw you guys for hurting the Mandelkers. You know, make it up. Thank you. Christ. Cause like, you know, FedEx
ground, if you ever try to track something on FedEx ground, this is what it's like. Okay.
Congratulations. You just received three text messages because your package is on the way and
it should be delivered by tomorrow. And then tomorrow comes, you're all excited. You open it
up. Oh, your tech, your package is in Pittsburgh, but you're in Los Angeles. Like, yeah,
but it's still slated to come tonight.
Are you trying to fool me? No. So everyone come on. Yes.
And we're taking down FedEx. That's it.
Yeah. Until FedEx fixes its ways,
everyone use UPS or DHL or just find a, find a horse somewhere.
I'm resurrect the pony express. Okay, everyone.
That's what I've got to say. That is my room
We're moving back to ponies. Okay, so let's go to a picture worth a thousand words this real housewives of Orange County episode
Now at first first thing I think was both on our minds Ben texted me texted me
We're allowed to say that right now
I know it sounds like that grammar, but I think it's just what it is now. Texted.
Text, because Ben texted me, I don't like that.
Ben texted me and he was like,
"'Why do I like Gina now?'
Gina has course corrected,
because I thought the same thing
when I was watching this.
I was like, wow, Gina has been downright pleasant
and adorable lately.
Funny, enjoyable.
And she's been doing these off show things,
you know, like on her Tiki-Taki or whatever she does,
her gather platform, whatever she uses. Or she was like, you know who I feel really bad for?
Shannon. And I just want to say Shannon is like doing so great.
Now part of me is so cynical, well, 90% of me is so cynical that I think, oh, she's course
correcting because of the reaction she's been getting this whole season from fans. And so now she's like, I'm going to make videos and I'm going to say Shannon, I feel bad.
And it works. You know, we're all suckers, but it worked for me. I'm like, she's been
just downright lovely. So well, because you know what, you know what, when the chips are down or
the chips are up or the chips are somewhere in the vicinity. Shannon, this is a rough episode for Shannon. This is about as bad as it can get for Shannon.
Shannon Bador, the open wound. This is a wound that someone went and just opened it more. And
Gina was actually really good to Shannon this episode. And Gina has a sordid history of being
terrible to her friends and not being helpful. I mean, honestly, Loki, look at her story with Travis. That's going on right now.
I mean, it's, it's not good if you ask me,
but I felt like Gina was actually pretty good to, um,
Shannon and I just feel like, honestly,
it's time that we use Heather Dubrow for good.
I think Heather Dubrow needs to get in there. I think, and Shannon knows that.
It's also having a great season. I don't, I feel like the whole world is talking
with her.
Listen, I'm a total convert. I'm a Heather Dubrow convert.
Next episode I'm going to be like, you know what we need? We need a Katie spin-off from
Vanderpump Rules. That's what we need. We need a fucking Katie spin-off. She's my
hair. I mean, what's happening? I feel like this channel is like messing with my brain.
I'm sorry to interrupt you.
It is. It's a heat wave and our brains are melting.
But also Heather DeBrow.
Looks like I'm purple.
Shannon knows that like the only way she can get true,
true revenge on John is if she brings out the big gun,
she brings out Heather DeBrow because Heather DeBrow is going to,
in fact, I'm going to tell my parents to reach out to Heather DeBrow.
Get Heather DeBrow on FedEx. If you ever deny a claim again,
this will cost you a lot.
Oh gosh.
So yeah, she's doing great.
It's been super fun watching her.
I like that.
I love when reality cast members,
especially on shows that are all about arguing like these,
I really like when they can change your mind all the time.
And that's super fun. Now, speaking of open wounds, Tamara, for fuck's sake, bro.
Tamara, like-
Tamara.
So Tamara is doing this thing where she got a facelift, you know, which everybody does.
It's like, no shame. I'm saving. I cannot wait to get a waddle removal myself.
And then she rolled through a bonfire.
Girl. Seriously, she got a facelift,
she got a face burning, she got a lasering,
she got the Freddy Krueger, she got all of it done.
I'm scrolling through, listen, I'm trying to eat, okay?
I'm scrolling through my Instagram, trying to eat my soup,
which already is painful, eating soup,
like I want other things, but I'm gaining weight,
so I'm eating soup.
And then I spit it out when I come across
Tamara's Grinch ass face with her, look at me everybody, I got a facelift, Like I want other things, but I'm gaining weight. So I'm eating soup. And then I spit it out when I come across Tamra's
Grinch ass face with her.
Look at me everybody.
I got a face lift.
I just want to be real and show you.
I don't want you to be real.
What do you want me to come on here with every scab I have
and like shove it in the camera on the thing?
Don't be real.
Does everyone want an Instagram live of my colonoscopy?
Okay, not everything.
Yes, you can.
I'm kidding.
Guess what?
People poop. You want me to Instagram from the toilet? Stop it.
Listen, I totally support self care. I know you do too. Listen, if you want to get a face.
And all sorts of shit to my face. You wouldn't know it, but still.
But let's do the Cliff Notes version. Like, let's just get to the end. Just tell me how it turns out.
I don't need to see the process. Yeah, I need the before and the after. I don't need the middle where you're just like,
well, I was gonna say, saggy and sad looking
like a weight loss thing,
because I'm always in the middle.
Those are always my pictures.
But you literally look like you've been run over.
Girl, we don't need it.
And then she does it every day.
She's like, here we are, day four.
I'm like, please stop.
And her mom's texting, like, Tamara, please, My friends are asking me if you got hit by a car.
I know that's the thing at a certain point. Cause and on top of that, she's not only burned
to a crisp, because I think she literally got some sort of like for, I think she did
a neck thing that was literally like electron. I don't know. She literally got like burned
like she burned skin or something like that. I don't know. I wasn't really listening,
but then she's in the middle of this getting into a few to Vicky. So she's not only burnt
to a crisp, but she's also crying in a feud. I'm like, Tamara, just put some ice packs
on your face and get some RNR or like put watch some TV. Don't get get off, get off
the internet.
I like when you get something free like that, you know, you're supposed to influence. So
it's like, okay, I'll give you this facelift and this laser, but then you have to go on
because of course, Kelly Dodd is commenting on her stuff because Kelly Dodd is a minister
society as we all know.
So Kelly Dodd is commenting on your like, Oh my God, you're disgusting.
She commented something like, stop pretending you did this for your birthday, you got this
for free.
That's what you're posting about it.
So she's in the mix and then Vicky's like, oh, you know why your daughter doesn't talk
to you?
Because you suck.
And then Tamra's like, how dare you say something about my daughter.
You win, Vicky, you win.
I've lost it all.
Like you did not lose a daughter, your daughter's not dead,
she just hates you.
And I mean, it's become this huge ugly fight
and it's all over the Instagram
and everybody's yelling at each other
and Tamara literally looks like the Grinch.
She's even green.
It's a pretty wild thing going on on her Instagram.
And I feel like if you're gonna, if you're gonna do,
if you're gonna do like the join me on my plastic surgery journey thing,
like there's like the funny way,
like Lynn Curtin who just emerges with a big donut around her head and her eyes
open, like it's my face beautiful yet. Or,
and then there's the sticky flicker way also with a donut sipping soup with a
straw, but don't do the sticky Flickr way also with a donut sipping soup with a straw.
But don't do the, not, this is too, this is too real.
I don't watch surgery shows.
I don't, I don't need to see this.
This is too much.
Unless I'm watching like a doc.
This is like a Zitpoper show.
You know that, that Dr. Zitpoper?
Dr. Pimple Popper.
Who watches that?
People are disgusting for even keeping that on the air.
And so that's, I'm standing against it.
And this is the same kind of thing.
I'm standing against it.
Now I want to say something else. keeping that on the air. And so that's, I'm listening against it. And this is the same kind of thing. I'm standing against it.
Now I want to say something else because I think we're now in the territory where
we're going to get misconstrued. Obviously there are people in this world who have,
you know,
suffered great tragedy and have had lots of facial burns, whatever. It's not,
that's not the way that's not it. It's the healing. It's a healing process.
It's things you do for every step of your process. It's things you do yourself that you're healing for. I don't need to be there for every step of your process. Okay.
If you have burns on your face, I don't, that does not, that's, that's,
that does not affect me. This isn't an ableism thing. Yeah, this isn't,
this isn't.
But I want to make sure cause I don't want it because there are going to be
people who are going to chime in about that and I don't want to make people feel
lesser than.
No, cause it's not that kind of burning.
It's like someone literally just stayed in a toaster
and their face is blistering and they're like,
look at my blisters.
You know what I mean?
Like we all know it.
It's like, hey, is this cut?
I think this cut is, you know,
this cut I have the length of my finger,
I think it's infected and then they show up there
like yellow, pussy thing in your face.
That's what it is.
Or it's like, hey, this tastes like shit.
Here, try a piece.
You're like, no, no, no, no.
The old Ellen joke.
I'm gonna take your word for it.
Yeah, this tastes disgusting.
Try it.
So I just wanted to put that out there because I know.
But also, Lynn Curtin did a lot of things so right,
by the way, and Lynn Curtin's kind of an icon.
Except raise children, honey.
Yeah.
Well, look around this show. You know what I mean? Like, let's know, look, look around the show.
You know what I mean?
Like, let's just take a good look around this show.
I don't know that many of the children
ended up great on this show.
So, uh-
I love Lynn.
That was so beautiful.
With her cuffs and her first person
to get evicted on camera and just like,
the grace she handled every,
like the kind of crazy energy to grace she handled.
I mean, she's an icon.
If we're going to bring anybody back,
but you know, if we're going back to the old trunks, let's grab some Lynn Curtin. I would like some updates.
I know. I'm such a dick. Lynn Curtin did us the extreme privilege of giving both the podcast and
us follows on Instagram within the past month. And the first thing I do is just shade her
for her kids. And her kids are grown adults and that's not on Lynn, that's on the kids.
So Lynn, you did a great job and you did the best.
It was your fucking husband, we all know it was his fault.
So Lynn, you keep on living your grand life.
You are our plastic surgery queen
and I hope that every month brings you a new donut
to wrap around your head.
And we will talk more about the Tamara and Vicky feud that was going on this week during
our next Crappy Hour, which is Monday night at 530 Pacific.
We're already back to Crappy Hour.
Yeah, so let's get on with this episode, shall we?
I mean, it's only been 15 minutes.
Okay, so yeah, we are now going on our next cast trip.
This is a season full of cast trips, but this is not the cast trip because they're going to go to London. So this is pretty cool. So we start off,
I guess the new thing where we have like a little scene where people are
chatting and it's also a recap. So this time we have, um, Alexis and Heather,
they're driving around in Alexis's car.
Heather is visibly disgusted by this poor person luxury vehicles. Like,
Oh, is this only a three series? Oh, I see.
Okay, well, thank you for showing me
what the maids drive these days.
Do we know when my Bentley is ready?
And Alexis is like, girl, fun Lexi here.
We have so much to catch up on, so much.
Fun Lexi, ah.
And so Heather is like,
we're gonna be doing an event for family equality in Sonoma.
We accept all kinds of wines.
Just saying that right now.
Is it a Pinot?
Is it a Chirac?
Does it need a label?
It's going down your go-leg.
This is where we hold an event, families come in, and they are all equally able to be hired to be our maids.
Ha ha ha ha.
Family, homework, or equality.
Ha ha ha.
I think this is about our trans children.
Exactly, everyone needs their room cleaned equally.
No, Heather, I don't think you're...
Ha ha ha.
Whether you're trans or cisgender,
we all deserve an Alfredo.
You know, I'm so sick of people saying
cisgender all the time.
Your sister will talk about her gender when she's ready.
My right, family equality.
No, Heather, I don't think that that's.
Now that said, making fun of these two is so fun, but it is so nice to see
mothers supporting their kids like this on TV because I didn't necessarily grow up... I do now,
I have it now, but we grew up in a different time. I'm an old person, I feel like, and we grew up in
a very different time. We didn't not even have a lot of this stuff.
We didn't know about a lot of this stuff at all back then.
So to see people kind of dealing with new, newer information
at this point and handling it with such aplomb
is really nice to see on TV.
Even from Alexis, who I think is a complete fucking
trash box.
But you know what?
Credit where credit is due.
I mean, she's doing right by her kid, so.
I mean, is there any greater sign of hope
than the fact that you have someone like Alexis Bellino
who is so hard-headed about so many things,
and I imagine is, I don't really know
what her political alignment is,
but I imagine it's a little bit more, you know,
right wing, which is, you know,
has not historically been so great for the trans community.
And the fact that she, despite all this,
and despite my assumptions about her,
is so supportive for the cause,
I think is actually really inspiring.
I mean, who would have thought Alexis Bellino,
inspiration for the week of-
Or Heather, really.
I mean, Heather seems like she would be such kind of a stick up the ass kind
of a person that she's so... And we know from the show, from seeing her on the show and talking
about her or kids' sexuality and stuff like that, that she is so open. So it's not really
that much of a shock for her at this point. But just in general, I mean, I would think of her as
just such a stick up the ass conservative kind of a person. I would think of her as like, I decided to have a daughter
and you shall remain a daughter.
You would think that she's like, this was my plan.
You're not allowed to deviate from it.
Yeah, and she's not.
So anyway, it's just really nice to see.
We like to rag on people,
but sometimes credit where credit is due
and it's really nice to see.
So thank you for doing that on TV because we need it. So anyway, they're talking about this event and stuff,
but still gossiping because that's the show. It's like, let's do an event to support our children.
Now, who can we bring down? And Heather says that she's invited Shannon, and Alexis is like,
And Heather says that she's invited Shannon, and Alexis is like, fuck.
And she's like, is there a space where you all could just
agree to just let it go?
Just let everything go?
Listen, one poor person fighting is one thing.
Two poor people fighting, who's cleaning the living room?
Do you understand?
You both can hold the Dust buster at different times.
It's okay.
It's time for a commercial.
It's time for a Crappins commercial.
I'm Dan Tuberski.
In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.
I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.
I'm like, stop f***ing around.
She's like, I can't.
A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast.
It's like doubling and tripling
and it's all these girls.
With a diagnosis the state tried to keep on the down low.
Everybody thought I was holding something back.
Well, you were holding something back intentionally.
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
No, it's hysteria.
It's all in your head. It's not physical.
You're, oh my gosh, you're exaggerating.
Is this the largest mass hysteria since The Witches of Salem?
Or is it something else entirely?
Something's wrong here.
Something's not right.
Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder.
A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios.
Hysterical. Follow Hysterical on the Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios. Hysterical.
Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
What's up, guys? It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.
And let me tell you, it's too good.
And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?
Every episode, I bring on a friend.
I mean, the likes of Amy Poehler,
Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.
So follow, watch, and listen to, baby,
this is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
So, so we see, while they're talking,
we're seeing flashbacks.
It's basically previously,
this is a fancy version of doing previously.
It's kind of, well, Alexis is like, my're seeing flashbacks is basically previously. This is a fancy version of doing previously is kind of, well,
Alexis is like my boyfriend's reputation has been demolished.
Your boyfriend's reputation was demolished by like Tamara and Gina and Emily
who were bringing all the stuff that Shannon was telling them on private on
camera. Shannon didn't even do that.
If he had a good reputation, it would be totally, it would be completely,
completely immune to anything happening on real housewives of Orange County.
I'll tell you that much. Cause honestly,
his reputation really wasn't dragged through the dirt that much. It really,
it's only now it's his active actions now that are destroying his reputation.
His reputation is not destroyed because, um,
he had a relationship that didn't work out well with, with Shannon. You know, there was never allegations of abuse.
There was never allegations of really anything nefarious.
It was just like, oh, John Jansen. Okay.
Like it's his actions.
It's his choice to then pursue Alexis Bellino,
who is in Shannon's sort of circle there.
It's his actions to demand this money back.
And then it's also his actions to not only to threaten to sue for this money, but then also basically say, if you don't pay me this money back. And then it's also his actions to not only to threaten to sue for this
money, but then also basically say, if you don't pay me this money, I'm going to release videos,
which as has been noted on this show on Orange County and on many other podcasts and IG videos,
is essentially blackmail. That's what's going to ruin your reputation, not Shana Maddour
going to Dr. Moon and crying while she's cupping on her back about the issues in her relationship.
Yeah. Fuckers.
So, um, then Alexis is like,
her life has gotten so bad around town and you owe him
$75,000. And, um,
then it's, you know, a lot of flashbacks, like you said.
So we come back and Alexis is like,
I need Shanna to shut her fucking mouth.
It's life.
I'm telling you right now, I'm about to unleash.
Oh, really?
Are you gonna unleash the dog that you bought
that was a twin of her dog?
You fucking stalker.
Yeah.
Let Archie number two go.
He deserves better.
So now we get the open, the title card, and now it's time for just your average American household,
the DeBros home in Los Angeles. So here we are in Bel Air actually. And Nick, Nick, the eldest son,
knocks on the door, the front door and has like, he, Ace, come on down here, Nikki's home, he made it.
He's finally home from his college
that's two miles away from her home.
He did it.
I'm like, you know he's at Loyola.
That's like, that's a 15 minute drive.
Let's not act like he just came back from, you know,
Peace Corps in Bhutan.
So she was like,
honey, see that picture right there, Cherry?
I need that to go back up on the wall.
Because he's playing pool with the kids.
And he's like, you expect me to hang a picture up?
I don't know how to hang a picture up.
Cherry, you can reattach a finger.
You can hammer a nail.
OK?
So yeah, there's like, the lifestyle right now is insane.
Back and forth and back and forth. I mean, you know, it's not so hard because we're being driven everywhere or flown by helicopter
But you know having to just see all those poor people going by your window at such high speeds
That's very hard very taxing and I'll spend the night sometimes in Orange County. I'll see my mother-in-law
She has dementia. So I make sure she's okay and we see like mother-in-law sitting there like
It's not that I have dementia. It's just that I choose to forget you every time I see you.
Well she has dementia. So she says that she never sees me. She's lying or just forgot.
She claims she never saw Malibu country. So I'm pretty sure she has dementia.
So she's talking about how they took a place at the Balboa Bay Club for the next several
months.
It was a little bit difficult at first because we couldn't look out the window and say Drake,
Drake.
But we're getting over it.
It's very difficult.
Well down there it's Drake Bell, up here it's Drake Drake.
So she's like, you know, Terry's going back to work.
I'll be going, I'll go back to LA when he
goes back to work. You know, I am paying a lot of money in tolls. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant trolls.
That's, that's what I call the valleys. Nicky, do you know how to hammer a nail? And he's like,
um, no, I wouldn't want to ruin this wall with a hammer and nail mom. And Terry's like,
you don't know how to do it either. That makes two of us.
Speaking of paintings, by the way, that painting is not going to be supported with just a hammer
and a nail. You need to get some phrases. You need to get, just call task rapid at this point.
I would love a sitcom about the DeBros where every episode is them being confronted with a
simple household task and they're just, they don't know how to do it. And that's the entire
episode is them trying to figure it out.
Like how to hammer a nail into a wall.
Well, shit though, that's what cracks me up about them.
They're acting like they've had their,
like from Rockefeller money
where they've never had to do anything.
Heather, you were sleeping on fucking,
did she ever have those, I was about to say,
you were sleeping on park benches
trying to get the pregnancy columns back.
They shoved you in the attic of your sorority house
in Syracuse, you were up there at the attic of your sorority house in Syracuse.
You were up there at the top of Alpha Z doing your one woman, anything goes performances before they
would pull down that ceiling door to let you down to have some McNuggets.
You were doing Annie get your gun by yourself in an attic in a sorority house. Don't tell me you
don't know how to use a fucking hammer in an aisle. You put the gun in a whole set.
This is what the third floor of the sorority sound like.
Get my records to Broadway.
You can't get a man with a gun.
Like Heather, stop doing your choreo.
We're trying to do our homework up here.
It is your bump bump bump.
Just do a salute and a march to the bat that's hanging on the ceiling.
So these jokers are making a hilarious scene
about how they would never know
how to use a hammer and a nail.
And Heather's like, yeah, okay, well, here's the other thing.
One of the main reasons we moved back to LA is because there's more inclusive opportunities for my kids. And so she starts talking about ace
and how it's way easier for him to make a fresh start in LA. And Heather's like, Terry, we are
terrible parents. We haven't taught them any adulting skills at all. I mean, not being able
to hammer a nail. He's like, I taught him how to do it. You say, hey, Alfredo, bring a hammer and a nail.
Done.
I just also want to point out that one of the perks
about Bel Air, aside from Drake, hi, hi,
is these inclusive opportunities,
which of course means that my kids are allowed
in the gated community while everyone else is kept out.
That's called inclusivity.
We're into inclusivity for the most part,
but we do still have a doorman.
And he's not allowed in.
He's an outdoor doorman.
The door goes out.
And Catarina also gets to go to a school
with a very high level film production program,
which I'm so sorry to break it to you, film is dead.
Okay, so just saying as someone
who's newly back to Los Angeles,
I've heard it all over town, film's dead.
Everyone's talking about it, no one's working.
No one's working because the streamers
have ruined everything apparently.
God damn streamers.
When you say streamers, we're talking about, of course,
the rampant use of party streamers
that have been thrown all over the city.
No one can get any work done.
Everyone just keeps leaving their offices to party.
So Kat's like, I have skills.
I can do my own laundry.
And she's like, ew.
It's like the first time we ever see Heather's face,
like crumple.
If you ever mention laundry again, it will cost you a lot.
That is not a thing.
It's like, we don't do laundry, we're Beverly Hills now,
we're Beverly Hills people.
So I feel like these two are like aspartame. You just, it's just
so gross at first and it's like trying to be something that's not, but then after a
while you just get used to it and you start ordering it with your lunch. Because like
I'm acting grossed out by them, but I think it's because I'm reading back the notes.
I'm like, God, these people really are disgusting. But I watch it and I'm like, they're fine.
I'm enjoying them.
They actually are a good family.
They all really get along so well.
They all seem to really enjoy each other.
It's just funny that they're filming a happy family scene
and none of them know how to do any of the most basic things
around their house.
It's just every time Heather and Terry do a scene,
it's like, okay, we have to do a scene
about how incredibly rich we are.
What is it today? Should we see Drake from the balcony? What should we do? Hammer and nail.
I got it. Hammer and nail. Family trip. Family trip to the balcony where we'll all wave at Drake.
Okay, do it. Let's FaceTime in our other daughter who lives at Tufts.
toughs. So, let's see. So, now we're talking about how Heather has four kids of different genders and different sexualities, and they want to set them up for success. And so, she's really grateful for
this foundation that they're doing their thing, and they love their kids, and all this good stuff.
So, the kids leave. And then Heather's like,
wow, Terry, isn't middle school the worst? He's like, oh my God, some of the worst implants I've
ever seen in my life. It's just so sad when a kid is botched that young.
The kids are mean, the age group is terrible, the teachers are poor,
no one appreciates a good musical. It's just a terrible time of life.
It's like, you don't understand at that point why you're judging your teachers. It's just a terrible time of life. It's like you don't understand at that point why you're judging your teachers.
It's not until later you learn what polyester is and why it's so disgusting.
You know about what they say about teachers.
If you can't clean a mansion, teach. Is that the expression?
That's the same as do, right?
So she's like, you know, I'm glad that we're not hiding our kids because we love them and support them.
And also we don't want them to be exploited either.
Right?
It's like a dance.
It's the exploitation versus hiding your children dance.
I think we're doing it pretty well, Terry.
Life is good. Well, thank you so much, Heather DeBrow.
Thank you, Terry DeBrow.
It's my pleasure.
Now hold for a circle to close on your face and transition into the moon for some reason.
All right.
This is bizarre.
They really do a close up on his mama Elsa and then like bring the circle very small
and then turn it into the moon.
It was like the best episode of botched I've ever seen. It's like the show, the editors
were like, you know what? It's your turn to be botched, sir. Okay.
We're going to have the post department on Beverly Hills probably has the most fun that
out of every housewife show, they're always doing some weird shit. They're doing it. Listen,
if you are someone walking around in Orange County in public,
you don't know if you're going to be filmed by their B roll team and turned into
a transition because how many times have we seen someone like juggling on the
beach and they juggle across the screen and we're in a new place.
They love doing shit on this show with the post department. Like this is where,
I feel like this is where you want to get to. If you're in Bravo post,
this is like the golden egg. Yeah.
Orange County. You have all sorts of stuff happening.
You know, I've really been slumming in the below deck trenches for some time, but it'll all be
worth it if I ever get to Orange County. That's where the real freedom is, bro.
The other day I saw a bicycle pass on the road and I thought, God, wouldn't that be great to
intersperse that with geese flying off of a lake straight into Archie catching a ball at the bottom of a pool.
God, those are the days.
Remember was it last week or was it this week when it was, I think it was last week, it
was raining.
And so they made all the panels of like what people were doing descend on the screen like
they were rain themselves.
Remember that?
I remember Teddy descending upon my screen and I was like, God damn,
get me an umbrella.
Captain Lee showed up. So, uh, we're going to go speaking of,
speaking of, of excitement,
we now go to the Simpson residence where, um, uh, Emily is,
is packing and, uh, I guess, uh,
I guess the dog's ball got in the bag and she's like, oh, look, is he packing his ball?
But same, same here to deliver his little dose of,
you know, fun and energy.
And Emily's like, I'm like, this is going on the trip with me.
Honey, you can't fit in here.
I know you want to be in here with all of these tacos.
I love tacos
And then they throw the ball into the suitcase again, and then the dark goes into it
Okay. Well, this is gonna be fun. It's for charity. Heather works for this organization
It's called family equality and there's a fashion show and we're gonna walk in it and because everyone knows
fashion shows in
Sonoma County,
just hot bed of fashion.
That's why she asked for a measurement.
When we get measured by Heather Dubrow.
And the producer's like, measurement?
She like, Shane says I say wrong too.
Measurement, I'm from Ohio, measurement.
I've never heard someone from Ohio say it like that.
I've never heard anyone's, it it like that. I've never heard anyone's.
It's a measurement.
Well, I guess.
Yeah, I heard of people saying measurements.
Measurement.
It's like you, it's like you saying water.
You don't hear it because you say it.
Measurement.
Well, okay.
Well, you know, this is a nice little measurement over here.
I guess.
Yeah, I guess you could say it like that.
I know it's low.
We just measurement.
You're coming up with permission slips for Ohio people.
You're like, are you allowed to say it like that or not?
I'll get back to you Ohio after this commercial break.
Put me just on the ballot.
Go with it.
Listen, Emily needs something.
She's already gone through a hole.
My mom was mean to me and didn't make me lunch.
And she's already done like, she's done her boudoir shots.
She's gonna need something else.
And today it's,
produce,
pro,
pronouncing word funnily.
Okay?
Just let her have this bang.
Crazy.
Well, I'm gonna wear three different outfits.
I hope they fit in my bag.
Oh, is that cause you had Taco Bell last night?
Ha ha ha ha.
I love tacos.
All right, well her story lines on the rails.
So then we go to Tamara at her house and Sophia walks in and, you know,
makes a sound Sophia walks does as she walks in.
Have you noticed that Sophia is turning into Sarah Sherman from SNL?
She looks exactly the same.
Oh, I don't watch that. I don't watch that these days. Every time I watch it,
I'm like, where's Will? Where's Kristen? Where's Eddie Murphy?
Well, Sarah Sherman is a cast member and she's very fun. Look up an image.
Just look up an image of Sarah Sherman.
Also, you know who I think she looks like? Zui Deschanel.
Zui? Did you get Zui's measurements?
Zoe? Her name's pronounced Zoe. Do you say it Zoe?
It's pronounced Zoe? I always pronounce it Zoe all this time. I think it's spelled Zoe.
Isn't it spelled? Well, I mean, I call her Zoe. I don't know. I don't know her in real life. So
what do I know? I say Zoe. I'm reading it. For Christ's sake, you can't have a name with two O's in the middle and then be like,
my name's Zy.
No, it's not, it's Zooey.
Zooey slash Zoe Deschanel,
could you please clarify this for us?
Thank you if you're out there.
Zooey, if you're out there, call us.
If you're out there listening to Orange County recap.
So let's see, measurement. Okay, so Tamra and Sophia. So Tamra's see, measurement.
Okay, so Tamra and Sophia.
So Tamra's like, I'm packing.
And she's like, oh my God, for what now?
Fessendama, we're gonna be walking in a fashion show.
You in a fashion show?
Yeah, with my graceful walk, bitch.
And your five foot two stature.
Hey easy now, there's nothing I can do.
Don't short shame me.
If you're going to shame someone, shame Shannon for being a drunk, stupid, drunk whore.
So then we go to Heather's penthouse, back to Heather's, and she's like, Emma, here's how I pack. I use tissue paper because you know how when you go to a fancy store
and they use tissue paper and they wrap it and things come out so unwrinkled?
And I was like, no, they come out wrinkled.
You just make them up.
Theme them.
Exactly.
Wrap yourself in paper.
This tissue paper came from Nobu.
They love me.
I actually just buy it and I send it there and they keep it for me there.
And then when I come in, they gave it back to me.
So she is wrapping each little sweater in this tissue paper.
She's like, it does take a lot of paper, but it's worth it. Cut to a crying tree, mother of the forest.
Like, I know.
Cut to Al Gore, the real Al Gore just crying.
Not this show's Al Gore.
Hell, he's probably crying too.
But by the way, okay, I have purchased a shirt.
I have purchased a garment in the store before.
I've gone to the dry cleaners and there is like,
sometimes there is tissue paper,
but it's like one piece in the folded over section.
Heather is putting it over,
like a piece of tissue paper over every single
fold that happens in the shirt. It's like, Oh, gotta fold that cuff a little bit. Give
me another piece. And she's just, there's so much tissue paper.
This, well, you know why she's doing that, right? Because when she unwraps it, it takes
forever and all other people here is, and eventually someone says, what is that noise,
Heather? And she's like, oh, I wrap
every individual sweater in this because you know when you go by retail and they wrap your
sweater like this and it comes out with no wrinkles at all.
Oh, God, here she... She just wants to do her fucking tissue paper monologue wherever she
goes. So she's making it last. She's one of those people in a dinner theater audience
who like unwraps a piece of candy for 30 minutes. It's like, how big is your butterscotch lady?
I know. Don't you know how to do this already? But yeah, she's like, Oh, no, I've been packing
like this for years. My friends make fun of me like Drake. He's always like, started from
the bottom. Now we're here with tissue paper. I'm like, Oh, Drake. Drake. So I'm said a sweater without tissue paper. Oh, no, no,
no. A sweater with tissue paper. Oh yes. Yes. Yeah. It became a
man.
And she goes, this is so good. It's a little time consuming.
I'm not going to lie. But once you do it and Emma's like, it's
perfect. Yep. And voila. and she gestures and it's sort of implying
Like look I did it
But it's really to those who know you can tell that this was Heather's way of saying and now I've taught you so you can
Now pack up my extensive wardrobe and tissue paper. See you in five hours when you're done
Yeah, exactly
so
Then we go to Jen who's talking to Katie on FaceTime and she she's like, oh my God, thank you so much for answering.
You look so pretty.
You look beautiful, Katie, really.
Seriously, Katie, you know what?
You're a beautiful person.
Katie, right now I can only see your face
because we're on FaceTime,
but we might as well be on Soul Time
because I can see your soul right now.
It is so pretty, Katie, really.
Yeah, where are you going?
Where are you headed to, Katie?
She's, oh, well, I'm gonna go get get my nails done because, you know, leaving for Sonoma soon. Oh, you know, you know, I'm not going with you guys. I have to take a separate flight. Yeah. Yeah. Because of a court thing, you know, it all depends on when how court goes, you know, because it's taken four years to get this court date said, and I am not going to miss it. I'm not going to miss it at all. And it is finally to get the temporary child support and alimony.
Finally, something's going to work out for me.
I'm going to get some money.
I just have such a good feeling about today.
Finally, everything's going to turn around.
Jen will never learn her lesson as far as like, if you're going in to be like,
I'm poor and I need money for my children, don't go in right after you just got
injections. You know what I mean?
Cause she's got like a little bruise under her eye,
which I think are from injectables and that's like a YSL shirt.
She's wearing a shirt that literally says YSL down the middle of it.
You need to go with a scarf on your head and like a little brown sweater with
holes in it and need to be like, Oh, look at my wrinkles. You know,
like maybe push your face together.
Yeah. Dress like you're in Fiddler on the Roof. So seriously, matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match, please.
Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It might be hard to argue for, um, child support when you're
like, what do you mind if we wrap this up? I had to miss my private flight up just in only county.
So I'm going to have to fly. I have to pay for my own to go up there to one country. I'm saying that glamorous lodge.
Learn to fake it girl.
Welcome to the offensive line. You guys on this podcast, we're going to make some picks,
talk some and hopefully make you some money in the process.
I'm your host, Annie Hagar.
So here's how this show's gonna work, okay?
We're gonna run through the weekly slate of NFL
and college football matchups,
breaking them down into very serious categories
like no offense.
No offense, Travis Kelce, but you gotta step up your game
if Pat Mahomes is saying the Chiefs need
to have more fun this year.
We're also handing out a series of awards and making picks for the top storylines surrounding the world of football.
Awards like the He May Have a Point Award for the wide receiver that's most justifiably bitter.
Is it Brandon Iyuk, T. Higgins, or Devonte Adams?
Plus, on Thursdays we're doing an exclusive bonus episode on Wondery+,
where I share my fantasy football picks ahead of Thursday Night Football and the weekend's matchups.
Your fantasy league is as good as locked in.
Follow the offensive line on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
You can access bonus episodes and listen ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
So then she is... So, we see flashback to where she had a meeting with her lawyer and
it's not going great. And so, Jen is sobbing and Katie's like, what happened? And she's
like, you know what, Katie, I just like, sometimes I just can't do this. I just, it's so hard.
And she's like, I know, it's just so much. Remember, I just wish I could go with you
because I remember what that was like.
My husband's still a little fucker. I'm like, oh my God, I hope we get to see this side,
because I wanna see Katie take down this fucking guy now.
I know.
And I brought this up last week, I won't go through all of it again, but stuff that we've
read about Katie throughout the weeks being released in the media by someone, my guess is
Heather and or the ex-husband are releasing all this damaging information on Katie.
He sounds like a real fuck and I would love to see her go
versus that guy on this show.
Yeah, he seems like a real asshole.
So yeah, she's like, you know, when I left my ex-husband,
I left with nothing, no alimony, no large sum payment,
no money, just a strange love for golf.
You know, I hate even thinking about it,
not golf of course, I love golf. I'll think about that all the the time. I just you know, I just looked at one of his photos today and his hairline doesn't even like him
It's chasing away too. So he's balding. That's what I'm trying to say.
Now that's fucking rude and I'm a bald person
How dare you baldshade people but I also really loved it, you know, cuz I do believe that baldness is karma from God
Well, God doesn't give you karma, right? Well, when does? Retribution from God. And, you know, I'm a sinner. I earned
my baldness, and so did that fucker, okay? Well, God only knows what I'm going to throw in this
damn suitcase, but I don't care. I'll drink wine and sweats if I have to. Okay, love you, bye. I'm
about to go get a whole bunch of money. So now let's go to John Wayne Airport
to Heather's private jet.
And don't you mess with my town again.
Yeah, when you, people don't know this,
but when you actually walk into John Wayne Airport,
the doors, when the doors open, they go,
do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do.
I was like, wow, really getting the spirit there.
Is that a little western sound?
Is that from a John Wayne movie?
Sounds like it's Noella getting run over.
Or Aisha.
So everybody's like, I'm loading their luggage.
It's an airport scene.
And of course, Shannon's like, whoa, luggage.
Oh, hold on.
Let me get some luggage out of the car.
Rolling down a hill on her luggage.
I just hold on.
I need to, I just need to get something.
I just need to stuff into this bag.
Oh my goodness.
It is. Wow. Oh no. I think I think stuff into this bag. Oh my goodness, it is. Wow, oh no, I think I broke the bag.
We might as well just call this bag Shannon,
because two broken things, right?
I'm gonna sit on this bag and try to close it.
Raa, raa, boing, waaah!
She just flies up in the air.
Look, I'm John Jansen trying to shut this bag's mouth.
Tag order on this bag, better zip it. Zip it up bag.
So on the plane, Heather's like, I'm gonna tell you where everyone's gonna go. Hold on.
Emily, Reba, Heather, Reba, Heather, Betty White, Reba, Heather.
Well, thanks for letting me on, but there's anyone else. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I give you a seat,
Emily? Okay. Emma, scratch Emily off sorry. Did I give you a seat, Emily?
Okay. Emma, scratch Emily off there.
Put Betty White in her seat.
Katie, you can stand with the flight attendants
in the galley and make us chocolate chip cookies.
Okay. Thank you.
Oh, whoa, whoa.
Gina, don't sit there.
That seat is permanently reserved for Betty Buckley
should she decide to join us.
I've got a really good one planned.
I'm gonna say everyone, we're ready to fly.
Please Betty Buckley your seat belts.
It's memory all alone in the moonlight.
At this point I like to pretend I'm actually on a tire
not a private plane.
Okay, lift off.
So Emily's like, wait, really?
You've assigned seating on a plane? She's like, wait, really?
You've assigned seating on a plane?
She's like, yes, I don't want to have to sit anywhere near Katie.
And Katie's like, well, I'm actually shocked.
I'm not below the plane where they put the dog crates.
Oh, by the way, I just I'm sorry I did mess up this manifesto.
Katie, you're below the plane with the dog crates.
Yes.
Thank you for reminding me. Well, I mean, clearly Heather's over our problems because I'm back here with
the girl you hate. So I've never flown a PJ before, but I feel like anyone who got stuck on
that little bench, which was basically Emily, Gina, and Katie, those, you know that they are lower on
the pecking order for Heather because
that's probably got to be the most annoying place to sit during takeoff, right? Because then you're
all like leaning left and leaning right on each other, right? So I think it was pretty obvious
which doesn't like CHF. So then Shannon is like, okay, I'm here, here we go. And she's not happy at all.
And so they're just like doing wacky,
like, oh, how do you put seat belts on kind of thing.
And so now they take off
and pastries are passed around to Shannon and Emily,
which I just feel like Heather is doing that to test people.
And then to be like, who took the pastry?
Who took the pastries?
Oh, I figured. Shannon and Emily.
Hmm.
Now wait a second, everyone.
I know we're on a private plane,
but I am a very grounded person
because I now I'm gonna have the flight attendant
bring me out a slice of pizza, which, oh no!
I just spilled on my pant.
Whoops, relatable.
I'm such a relatable person on a private plane.
Now, if you guys look out the window, you can see see Drake's house which of course is next to my house.
So Katie's asking Alexis if she's going to talk to Shannon and she's like I mean I tried to wave to her and said hi.
I guess it's not really the right time. I really want to enjoy Heather's event.
So I'm just going to completely leave Shannon alone.
Okay.
Hey Shannon.
Shannon, have you got any dates lately?
Oh, well, no, I don't.
I don't really want a date right now.
Well, you could just go out and have fun with somebody,
just don't buy him any shoes.
Watch it!
Watch it!
Such-to-such troublemakers.
Watch it!
I mean, and then she spends the rest of it,
she's like, this was so hard for Shannon.
You're making it hard for Shannon.
Stop doing shit like that and then acting like, oh, poor
Shannon, you're purposely stoking these fires and then standing back and being like, oh,
gosh, I'm just here to care for Shannon. You bunch of fucking fakers over there on this
show. So she's like, yeah, don't buy me any shoes. So Tamika goes, what shoes? Like she
doesn't know. And Emily's like, wait, Shannon, you're saying they're loofer they're fair loofer gommo shoes
You know what you gotta be careful what you tell us cuz I mean we just can't let you help ourselves
I feel bad cuz I can't help myself
You know what before we got on the plane
Shannon showed us a picture of Alexis and John and an event and she's zubing on their shoes and they were like Ferragamos, okay?
And she let us know that she bought those Ferregnos.
And Emily's like, yeah, but she said it on her breath, like, very Shannon, like, oh,
oh yeah, I bought those shoes.
And Shannon confirms it.
She's like, I made a comment under my breath and said, well, I'm glad he's still wearing
those Ferragamo shoes.
So, glad he's still wearing those Ferricamo shoes. So glad he's still
got them. And Gina's like yeah and I believe the belt you was wearing too actually right Alexis did
you see? Yeah Alexis what kind of shoes did John have on last night? And Alexis goes well why are
we talking about Johnny J? I mean but I think think they were for a mouthful for for Farag Fahrenheit shoes, I believe.
And Emily's like, thank you. You confirmed it.
And so everyone's like, tutoring about this.
And Alexis tells us, I mean, a 60 year old woman is dissecting a photo
as if suddenly like there's an age limit for when you can stop being shady
and zooming in on photos. Hello. No kidding.
That is a lifelong entitlement. You have 50 something.
Is she 50? Maybe she's not. She's like 47, 49 somewhere in there.
And you like a 47 year old lady or with crusty ass Al Gore dissecting ring cam
footage. I mean, yeah.
What about your 60 year old boyfriend dissecting your boobies every night?
How about that?
Well, that's more normal.
The point is that I think we just crossed into normalcy,
but the point is that over ring cam footage from months ago to try and extort you later. That would be weird.
I think she should be applauding Shannon for dissecting the photo.
The fact that Shannon even understands that you can take a photo and take your
fingers on it and open your fingers up and turns out that you can zoom in by
doing that. That is an accomplishment. Yesterday, I went to, um,
I donated some, some like glass, like Mason jars to a thrift shop.
And to get your receipt. Now there's a QR code.
This lady who honestly was probably only about five years older than me,
she tries to scan the QR code with her phone and it's not scanning.
And you look at her phone and you can see she's not updated her iOS in about 10
years. And she's like, how do I, what do I do? And she's trying,
she keeps taking photos of the QR code. I'm like, no, no, no, you got to scan.
How do you do it? So I had to show it to her. She's, hmm, okay, let me try.
I'm like, I think you have to update your iOS.
She goes, my iOS, what's that?
And I was like, okay, man, you,
I don't know how you got to 2024 through a whole pandemic
without ever having to use your QR code functionality
until now, but this is gonna be a big moment for you.
And the point is this, we take a lot of time for-
You could have gotten her social security number.
That's what I'm saying at the point.
You should have been like, I can fix it.
Wouldn't that what's your social? What's your date of birth?
What's your mother's maiden name? All right, let's get some credit for me.
I mean your phone.
The point is this as we age, we become less adept with technology.
Some of us still don't understand QR codes. Does my mom understand it? Yes.
Does this lady at the thrift store who again seemed to be within my age range,
understand it? No. So the point is this we should actually be applauding Shannon, you know, because Shannon seems like she might be in the type
That's like what I don't even understand how to use this phone. What is it holding it backwards? Okay
You're saying we should applaud Shannon for knowing how to look at a picture on Instagram
Yes
Because otherwise she could be doing this.
So let me get my readers out
because you have to have readers out to ask this question.
Excuse me.
How do I zoom in?
Do I just, I double tap, I double tap.
Oh gosh.
Hold on.
Let's look.
I applaud her because if John is gonna bring Alexis
onto a whole ass TV show to go off about how he paid for all of this for Shannon
and he's gonna sue her and publicly humiliate her
over money, then she's allowed to point out
what she paid for over the years as well, sir.
It's not just you guys.
I don't know why you're acting so shocked
that people point out who paid for what.
Big fucking hypocrites.
Gross, gross people, you're trash.
Trash!
And Tamara's just saying how,
like Shannon's always pointing out like,
oh, his eyes, his nose, his teeth, his nipples,
his balls, all the way down to his shoes, bitch.
And of course, post-production,
pulls out close-up of all those things.
And then Shannon's like, well,
he didn't even know half the designer brands
before he met me, let alone the joys
of stuffing cream cheese into a salmon.
So Heather looks up the shoes online and she's like,
oh, they were on sale, 3.75 to 4.75, not that expensive.
Oh, I should probably buy 12 of them.
You know, when you throw them at a maid,
they really, really pick up the pace.
It's great, good life hack.
So then Emily's like, way to go, Tamra. As if Emily wasn't the one who just brought it up.
Yeah.
And Tamra's like, oh God, he's gonna come up sooner, later.
So now they're landing and Alexis is like, oh my God,
are we in high school?
Like find a different thing to focus on Shannon.
Says Alexis who brings up Shannon, not even her own issues.
She just brings up Shannon every single episode.
So now they get into vans and, um,
Emily is checking in on Shannon and, um, you know, Shannon's like, yeah, no,
I'm fine. I'm fine. And then Alexis and the other band is like,
what am I going to do if gonna do if I am with Shannon?
Like, I just don't wanna say to her,
like, I know it's uncomfortable, like, for both of us.
Actually, I do wanna say this.
I just wanna say to her, like,
I know it's uncomfortable for both of us,
but like, can we just like put it aside
for the benefit of this group and for Heather
and for Johnny J's reputation?
Yeah. And so then back in the other van,
Heather's like, we can get tattoos tattoos
and
Emily's like hey, so there are Shannon. Are you game?
We see Shannon's already about to lose it
Yeah, she's like definitely spiraling and Alexis is like, you know, I just don't want to lose it. Yeah, she's like definitely spiraling. And Alexis is like, you know,
I just don't wanna make it worse, okay?
I just, I don't wanna live in their purgatory
even though she's probably going to hell, let's be honest.
And Gina's like, well, you can't release those videos.
And we see flashbacks reminding us of what the videos are,
which are like Ring Cam videos of apparently Shannon
nearly running over John's kid,
which again,
kids are adults like get out of the way. This drunk lady, we all know it.
We all noticed they have a lane when there's a drunk person on the highway in
front of us. So Tina's like, you don't want to be the execution now.
You don't want to be, you don't want that on your conscience. I was like, um,
well, I just kind of want her to understand how bad she's hurt people.
But like, you know, the devastation, it's been nothing but devastation with Shannon.
You know what?
I truly believe that this is the potential to push Shannon right over the edge, which
is pretty shocking because she's been pretty much teetering on the edge for the past 10
years on this show.
So this is gonna be the one.
This is the big one, guys.
And Katie's like, these videos are a real ticking time bomb. You know, I just don't want to be there
when everything explodes on the course. And Alexis like, it's not my fight, but he's my man.
So. So now we arrive at Guernsville, California, and they come to Dwan Ranch.
And they're greeted by the general manager of the ranch.
His name is Teach.
He's like, welcome everybody to Don Ranch.
My name is Teach.
You wonder how to get grease off plates.
It's never been easier than here at Don Ranch.
We named this place after two of my favorite things to buy at the supermarket, Don and
Ranch.
So come and ranch.
So come and enjoy. So he's showing them and they're going to split up for lunch because, you know, it's a housewives trip. So they have to like do two separate things to talk shit about
each other and then come together. And then everybody explodes about the things they heard
about each other on the trip, like, you know, on the split up things. So they do that. They go see their cottages and
Teach tells Heather, so this is Olive's cottage. And she's like, oh, so that's good. This is where the Olive's stay is there somewhere where the blue cheese stays and somewhere where the martini stay
as well. I love a place. You should have Shannon stay a little bit far away from them. I'm just
telling you right now. I love a place where each part of the Shakuribor
has its own cottage.
That is a goal.
Please don't allow salami into this community.
Is there a cottage for pizza that falls on your pants?
I need to be in there just to keep up appearances.
And then there's a guitar in there and she goes, Oh, pretty, a guitar. Good. We can sing later.
I know lots of good guitar songs like the catalog of Joan Baez and others of the such and like,
You can't get a man with a gun.
Just taking her back to her Annie Get Your Gun days.
She tried to be singer-songwriter,
but she's like, I can't help it, I'm Broadway.
So now in Katie's room, I don't know,
everyone's seeing their room.
She's like, there's a spider.
I'm so terrified.
There's a spider in my room.
She's like screaming in golf.
I know, that's a golf scream.
Wow, this is out of control.
And then Tamara is in her cabin
and she pokes her head out the door and looks outside.
She's like, it's my neighbor.
And Emma's like, it's me.
Oh, is this what it's like to live in Ohio?
You sit in your porch and yell to your neighbor?
She's like, yeah.
And then a cow walks by and you take its measurements.
I love that Tamara doesn't know what it's like
being on a porch yelling at your neighbor
when her glamorous vacation was to Glamis Dunes.
I think you know what it's like
going outside and yelling at your neighbor, okay?
Yeah.
These just aren't on wheels.
I know, I'm about to know. We've seen her neighborhood.
It's literally like the houses on top of each other.
And everyone's yelling at Tamara's house every time that big ass pickup truck
probably comes in and out of that garage.
Or the Harley's.
Or the Harley. God.
They're just the asshole vehicle home.
Yeah, because you know what they do.
Okay. Anyone who has someone who has a motorcycle.
I'm not saying your Vespa. I'm not counting your Vespa in this, but a full someone who has a motorcycle, I'm not saying your Vespa,
I'm not counting your Vespa in this,
but a full on motorcycle Harley.
No, it's terrible.
My Vespa is terrible.
This is what they do.
No, this is, okay, well,
this is what people with motorcycles do
if they live in your neighborhood.
Okay, well, if it's time to go,
like if you're gonna, you know,
if you're gonna hop in your car
and you're gonna go somewhere,
you turn on the car, vroom, and you drive off.
These are people with motorcycles who,
vroom, vroom, vroom, vrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr, brrrr,
for five minutes outside your window.
It's like, are you gonna go somewhere?
What are you trying to do?
Every time.
Yeah, I'm actually pretty good,
and I think most of it is because I've talked to you
about this over the years about how annoying that is.
And so mine, I live on top of a hill right now,
which is very helpful.
So now I can just like take off the the brake and go squeaking down the hill. And then I turn it on at the bottom
of the hill. But I'm just so noisy in other ways. There's construction here all day. The
neighbors want to murder me. They start at seven here. And then when they finish, I'm
like, oh, okay, you guys are done with your noise. Good. Have a good night. I'm going
to practice the piano terribly. And then I sit said the piano and I swear to you, I just played the same chords over and over again. It's like, it's
like, how many years can one person play an Adele song terribly? Adele has literally retired
and I still can't play one fucking song. And I started this shit during the pandemic.
I'm a hateful person and all of the neighbors hate my ass and that is why I'm bald
That's that's my god. That's you sure and that's the night the lights went down
in the San Fernando Valley
Yeah
Hello there. This is a two-part recap. Okay, this is the end of part one
So thank you so much for listening to this just come back a little later for part two
So thank you so much for listening to this. Jamie. She has no less name-y. Hava Nagila Webber. Know your worth with Jason Kurtz. Sip some scotch with
Jessica Trotch. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston
Anderson. Let's give a kisserino to Lisa Lino. We want to hang with Liz Lang.
Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg!
The Bay Area Betches, Betches!
And our super premium sponsors!
Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD!
We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva!
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil!
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper!
Can't have a meal without the Emily sides!
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch.
She's a little bit loony.
Junie.
My favorite Murdo.
Karen McMurdo.
We love him madly, it's Kyle Podchadly.
Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender.
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters.
Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell, pour Rachel. If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery
Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
She struck him with her motor vehicle. She had been under the influence that she left him there. In January, 2022, local woman Karen Reed
was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend,
Boston police officer John O'Keefe.
It was alleged that after an innocent night out
for drinks with friends,
Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel
en route to the next location.
What happens next depends on who you ask.
Was it a crime of passion?
If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.
This was clearly an intentional act.
And his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.
Or a corrupt police cover-up.
If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover-up to prevent one of their own from going down. Everyone had an opinion.
And after the 10-week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.
To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.
Law and Crime presents the most in-depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.
You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondery+.
Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.