Watch What Crappens - #2562 RHODub S02E15 Part One: The Last RiRi-union

Episode Date: September 18, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recap!On part 2 of the Real Housewives of Dubai reunion, Sara tells us stories of her doomed and totally real romance and Lesa and Ayan face off over the word ���brag”. Who hurt each other’s child most by doing nothing children would care about?  To watch this recap on video and listen to all of our bonus episodes, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watch Your Crappins ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Watch what happens, watch what happens, guess what happens when there's so much that happens. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Ye Olde Braves. I'm Ronnie, that's Ben. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Hi, we're in the same location today, guess why? Because I live in Los Angeles part-time now and we have a meeting,

so we're in the same place. Yeah, where Rodden's coming over here. I saw you were trying to fix this mic. It does not- It's a dingler. I knew that. Wait, but look, what you have to do is, sorry everyone, you're going to hear mic noise. You actually, if you hold it, if you sort of do this-

Oh, look at you, Angler. Yeah, this is very sexual for those watching. Oh. If you do this, it sort of stays more- Yeah, I really like the bend. I like the bend of your erection. It took me three years to discover that. That's pretty good.

Over the summer, like, oh, if you actually just bend this piece here, the microphone stays. You're like, oh my God, physics. Well, guys, we're not here to be intelligent. We're here to recap Bravo shows. So get physics. Today is the final episode of the season, possibly the series of Real Housewives of Dubai.

Stop saying that. You're gonna be dead. Literally five people. Okay, I looked at the ratings. Every single episode you're like, this could be the end guys. But seriously, seriously, when my grandma died, this is so sad, but sorry to bring it down guys,

but we are talking about a dead show possibly. But when my Siti died, my Lebanese grandma, we were at, not that I need to specify, but in case you were thinking I was talking about me, ma. Okay, different grandma, first grandma. When she was passing away, we were all, me and my cousins were all surrounding her deathbed, right? And we kept thinking she was,

our aunt would keep calling us in there, like it's time guys, we'd go in and we'd cry and we'd like say something nice, and then she would start breathing again. And then, I mean, it was like a movie where- I was struck. Yeah, finally by the end we were like, seriously, like by the end we were kind of laughing about it

because I mean, it's just so dark, but it was, and that's what Dubai is. I feel like I just keep getting called into the room, you know, at some point, at this point I'm just like, love you, bye, call me, call me when you get there, love you. I never thought there would be a world where I would be championing Real Housewives of Dubai. I mean, I really disliked season one. I was, I, I, I tried to bite my tongue as much as possible.

And I still complained about it on the show, but my complaining didn't even compare to how much I really disliked the show. And now I sincerely love it. And I think it's so good. And everyone I've talked to who watches it, everyone is kind of like, like, you know what, like Dubai is pretty good. Like, I think that people are kind of like, they're not buzzing about it. Like, they're not creating like a like a hype about it. But everyone you talk to who watches Bravo is like, are you watching Dubai? It's actually really good. And then I saw some article on some publication.

I forget which one it was. It's called Almost Dead. It's called almostdead.com. They were like, oh, here are the fashions on Dubai. Like this show is such a snooze fest. The only thing that's keeping me through is the fashion. It's like, excuse you. This season has been hilarious

and has been actually a lovely bite of pickled carrot to go with the stuff that the poison that's coming out of places like New Jersey. Oh wow, I love the poison too. I love the poison too, but I'm saying, you know when you have a delicious heavy piece of meat, you also want something pickly to go with it too. You know what I'm saying?

So maybe not poison, but like meat. Yeah, it's good. I like it. And that's good for you because that means maybe the year has changed and you're going to love New York next. Who knows? Honestly, it really could happen. We actually have the New York screener. I haven't watched it yet. I don't know, though. I think New York could be a tough one

because I feel like with Dubai, after season one in Dubai, there was a sense from the cast of Dubai and probably from everyone involved, we've got to really pick this up. But with New York, I think there's a sense of self-satisfaction. Wasn't that fabulous what we just did?

And I'm worried that they're gonna be like, let's just do more of that. Yeah, let's just do more of, more mediocrity. But you know, I liked the first three quarters of New York. It didn't really bug me until the end. So I mean, I kind of liked it already. So I'm excited for New York. What's really exciting at the moment is Salt Lake City.

Salt Lake City is coming back tonight. I just watched that before I came here. That shit is so good. It's so funny. It really does stay one of the dumbest shows on TV on purpose. Like it's so ridiculous. All the ladies on it are so ridiculous. And I think that they take themselves seriously,

which makes it even funnier. Especially like Meredith. I mean, what a dope. She's still yelling about bathtubs in the first, and totally believing everything she's saying. And I, the delusion, you have to stan. You got to. The other thing is that you always say

that Salt Lake City is the, it's the community theater of the Real Housewives. And I feel like what everyone's going to see tonight is that, like, you're gonna see a group of people who they've basically taken a gamble. They've said we are going to push Monica, our like rising star villain out of the show after just one season, someone who was like a lightning rod of attention and controversy. They're like, well, we're going to kick her out because we morally can't have her here. But don't worry, we will pick up

the slack. All right, everyone, let's put on a show. Well, I think kind of our point during that season two, and I remember saying it a lot of times Monica was like fun at parts. I hated the toxic crazy mother stuff and also the crazy toxic daughter stuff because let's face it, that street ran both ways, you know, and I didn't really love all that stuff because it triggered me with my own so actually I love

the mom more than Monica because the mom's the kind of housewives delusion I really liked, whereas Monica I just felt like was kind of Jen Shaw coated with the lies, just lying to the lie. Yeah, Monica's grifter. But yeah, they never needed Monica. And that was kind of the thing.

Monica was a fun prop for them to play around with and it did drive the season forward and in the season they needed it, but they never needed her. These ladies are crazy enough on their own and the ladies are bringing in are also crazy enough on their own. I think both of them are going to prove to be good additions. So we'll see. Time will tell. We'll see you tomorrow. Time will tell. And also, by the way, while you are waiting for our recap, do be sure

to listen to our big crossover episode with two Ts on a pod that was, we released that on the feed last night. It's really, it was, it was really hilarious. Like it was a fun, it was a wild time. I really enjoyed that. And you know, it's always fun to talk shit with other shit talkers and thanks to everyone. And we got a really nice response from people online. So thanks for that. But enough about that. Let's go to what could possibly be the very final reunion episode. They're almost dead. Look, the Bravo ratings, I looked at the,

you know, I love that Twitter account at ratings Bravo, Bravo ratings. And the episode that aired on the night of the debate, which isn't fair, because it did air against the debate, and everybody watched the debate, because, you know, we need to know who's eating cats in this country. That's really important.

And so we were all watching that and this had 180,000 viewers. I mean, that's really bad. That's really bad, you guys. But you know what though? Like we're in a different world now. That's just like live, overnight. Now everybody likes to say that, but still, you know, Jersey still,

once Jersey can still pull in almost a million and people are like, good for you Jersey. We don't get to say good for you for getting good numbers. And then I think bad numbers don't count. They did count, but they know bad numbers. It's not their fault. I think they're doing a good job. No, here's why. Because I think there may be a show, like something like Jersey, You did a good job. No, here's why. Because I think there may be a, something like Jersey, people may feel compelled

to watch the night it comes out because they wanna be part of the conversation right away, whereas Dubai, they may watch it just not on that night. There's no urgency. But you know what, what we're here to tell you is that you should be urgent about watching Dubai because you might not get to watch it anymore. But if you love Caroline Stanbury, guess what?

Our Litties of London archives are up on our website, watchwhatcrapins.com, go check them out. Okay, so Real Housewives of Dubai, season two, episode 15, reunion, part two. A lot to unpack here, let's dive in. So now we're talking about the fight that happened at Caroline's housewarming party where Raffi started yelling back at Caroline Brooks

and What's Your Buns? Tal was smoking a cigarette like, yeah, where's your husband? Seriously, where's your husband in all of this? And Andy's like, so Brooks, why do you think Raffy got involved in the fire? He's like, I don't know, he probably shouldn't have gotten involved in that.

He probably shouldn't have, but he did. Are you mad about him for getting involved? And she's like, yeah, cause I told him don't get involved. And he's like, he was deescalating the situation. That's what he was doing. He was deescalating it. And the end, are we to debate whether or not a man

should be yelling at me? Because actually, it's like wrong. And he's like, Well, I mean, I'm just saying you're friends with them. Not like Andy's rules. He's like, sometimes men can yell at women. If you're friends with them, they can yell at you. Yeah, your male friends can totally yell at you. Can we move on? Can we move on? He's like on? And he's like, yes, yes, yes. He has like a certain thing where he's like, listen, I don't even want to be here in the first place.

So don't tell me about moving on. I've got one foot out the door, okay? I don't know if you've heard this, but I'm a father now, two times over. I don't need this. And she's like, Andy, we need to move on because it's going to make me bad. And I went to a healer one time and they got a refund.

Listen, I may have gotten refunded, but I did give back the healing. OK. All right. Well, to me, Mila from not Kunis said, even though you and Brooks were in a bad place after your fight, you did express concern for her missing her flight to Bali. How were you able to move to a place of compassion after the incident? Well, I'll tell you why, Andy. The thought occurred to us that maybe Brooks had died, maybe she fell into one of those hot tubs at the glass house,

and it actually was full of glass. She cut herself. It was like Michelle Pfeiffer in that movie one time. And I thought, you know what? If she dies, I'm going to look like shit being mad at her on TV. So I was like, let me just hedge my bets. Be nice to her. And if she's alive, then I can like, let me just hedge my bets. Be nice to her. And if she's

alive, then I can go back to hating her by the reunion. Listen, Andy, if there's going to be a lady in the lake in modern times, I want to make sure that it's not Brooks. Nobody needs Brooks haunting their Harrison Ford film. Was it Harrison Ford in that with her? The Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer. It was actually Amber Valletta was haunting them. Oh, she was the lady in the lake. That is connected to our Bravo universe because Amber Valletta's brother is Rob Valletta

and Rob Valletta famously- Hang up TV under seven minutes. Yeah, and could have been the father of Madison Marie Parks Valletta. Madison Marie Parks Valletta. So, Tullin's like, when I thought something was wrong with the Brooks, I cared. He's like, okay, well, how did that make you feel Brooks?

When you tried to rile everybody up by not showing up to the trip and they made a surprise entrance because you're desperate for attention. She's like, you know, Andy, it felt good. It just showed how much everybody cares about me. Even Letha was asking where I was. I mean, even Ion, Stammery said,

I know the bitches is dead. This is not funny. So I've just stopped arriving at places before three hours after the start date, Andy. Really makes you feel good. Ah, well funnily enough, it was the bow and these dresses that Letha chose that finally brought you back together. And we see flashbacks, which you know, ends with Brooks saying, I don't wear mustard

yellow. I don't wear mustard yellow. That was so funny. And someone on Twitter put, I don't wear mustard yellow. Also Brooks wearing mustard yellow on the show. Beautiful mustard yellow on the show. Like a beautiful mustard yellow dress. So this is the mustard, this is the, you know, how dare you offend the culture? And of course, Lisa is like,

how could you do such a thing, not only to the culture, not only to the designer, but Andy, I'm a designer as well. I was like, yes, Lisa, it's totally the same thing. Your maternity wear is totally the same thing as the Balinese dresses that you got. Get the fuck out of here with your Mina Rowe. I've yet to see Mina Rowe. Listen, I don't need to discredit Mina Rowe.

I don't know that much about it. As soon as you say that, we're gonna get 10 emails like, actually, Mina Rowe's cute. Find the biggest thing. Actually, if you ever want to pee in the pod, you would see it. You know, I shouldn't diss somebody else's business like that because it's not really hurting her.

It's hurting her children, guys. Let's remember this. And I'm not here to abuse children, so. So, Lisa's like, well, mustard looks best on dark skinned women. And Brooks is like, okay, well, for me, it reminds me of like, you know, when you throw up too much,

that last little bit of yellow and there's nothing left. I was like, dang. Dang. Dang. You mean bile? Wow, I mean. Cydline knows, trust me. When I saw her vagina, that bit of yellow

was coming out of her mouth. She knows what it is, don't you? I'm sorry, we're friends now. Was that offensive, what I just said? It's not even leading vomit, it's trailing vomit. This is the end of the vomit. You know when you've been throwing up all fucking night log and you finally get to that last little yellow bit?

It's that part, Andy. But whatever, if the color looks good on you, it looks good. I'll wear a trailing puke yellow if it looks good on me. I can't wear yellow for shit. When I wear yellow, I look so deranged when I wear yellow. I'm just like this, like, you know, when you're as pale as me and you wear yellow, it's just not a good look.

I can, yeah, I wear yellow. Mostly just, I can wear yellow. I don't know why. I don't know that I look good in it. I look like a splotch. You know, it's helpful just not to have a mirror. I just don't look in the mirror in anything. Like I'll wear clothes and people.

Remember when we went on Jeff Lewis and we won, and I was like, I look cute. These are my cutest old Navy clothes and those those fucking Tiger King queens came on the Poland pot whatever came on to the thing and they're like, pull pot if you will. They're like, yes, someone's not winning fashion person of the week. I'm like, seriously, I'm like, I've got a big Roy, I've got Laverne and Shirley played by Siegfried and Roy

coming after my old Navy. Get the fuck out of here. But you know what? They had a point, you know? Well, no, I was the one who got, I think I was the one who got this. I think I brought the photo down because I deigned to wear shorts on a hot August day.

And that was- We're not those, we're not that kind of gays. You know what? Next time, next time I'll wear my my my fuchsia suit and I'll put on a ruffly shirt with and where I hold like a small dead dog. No, next time I'm coming in a bra and underwear and that's fucking it. I'm going to do it like I normally do this. So anyway, we're so Lisa's like, let to be honest, I was mortified and more so for the designer like as a designer myself and it was like a cultural dinner. Okay. We went to a restaurant

and ordered french fries. That was very cultural and Chanel's like, but the dress was from Suc-Dick, Suc-Dick, Suc-Dick. You're a real, you Saint Laurental. Yeah, Chanel's like, oh yeah, the designer Suc-Dick and they're like, that was so offensive. Laurental. Yeah, Chanel's like, oh yeah, the designer's suck dick. And they're like, that was so offensive. You were saying that his name was suck dick. That is so rude. This is a cultural thing out there. You're trying to be funny saying suck dick, suck dick.

And then we find, then Lisa goes, but it is suck dick. And they goes, oh, it is? She's like, yeah. I was actually mad because the Andes like, well, anyway, the point is this. I was like, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You're not going to ask a single question about this dress thing. I have questions like, yeah. I was like, what was Lisa thinking?

Like why, like the women thought it was a sabotage. Was it sabotage? Why were there no buttons on it? Like this was something I actually cared about. And they just zoomed right on. And I was actually very upset about that. I guess my main question would be like, I get why the designer would be like, oh yeah, I'll donate dresses and then my name can get set on the TV and I'll get some promotion. Like I get that.

But what designer is like, you know what, here's eight. How many people are in the show? Six, I don't know. How many people? So anyway, 90 people. I'll send over 90 dresses. Okay, who's gonna send over their fashions that they don't fit on people and don't fit them at all?

Who's gonna send that representation of their clothes onto TV? They look like shit. And also as a designer, why didn't you show up? Show up with some pins in your purse and make sure everything fits and everybody looks okay because otherwise it looks like she just bought that off of a corner table, you know?

What does she also get? What does she also get like a CD or a DVD version of like Big Lies, Big, Big Lies, True Lies, True Lies. True Lies, True Lies. Arnold Schwarzenegger movie on Canal Street. Like what are you buying like old DVDs on Canal Street along with those dresses? Yeah, fit your dresses.

I say the real unprofessional person here is Sukthiq. Well, that, you know, okay, so, look. You can see it. Could you see a path forward towards reconciliation if Talina apologized to you? By the way, I just want to point out that Talina's apologized to you already tonight, Brooks. And Brooks goes, yeah.

And for the comments you made about your dating habits, yeah. And she apologized a couple of times. I'm just wondering what else is on the table that you need to hear from her in order to move forward. It's okay, I got enough apologies from her. She apologized to me, Andy, and I'm fine. I don't need anything else.

And he's like, okay. She goes, yeah, I'm content. So he goes, so is there anything you need from Brooks? So I mean, and she's like, I would like you to take accountability because you have been on a smear campaign against my family getting a table at Hillstone. Well, your family tried to slander me on TV

and your mom implied alcoholism, okay? And your son called me a witch. Did she say that? No, I just made that up. You're saying your mom implied alcoholism. You just talked about the bit of vomit at the end of throwing up sessions. You're implying alcoholism every time you open your mouth.

Girl, if I lit a cigarette while I was watching one of your segments, my face would start on fire. Little bubbles are coming out of your mouth. You don't fly alcoholism. I wanna mix you with grenadine and 7UP, okay? And Tlingus, no, well, you don't stop on Twitter just the way that Raph does not stop his phone calls for some bitch hostess at Hillstone.

And Brooks is like, your sister called me unhinged. So no, sorry about that. She goes, you are unhinged. And Andy's like, she also apologized for alcoholic comments. So, can we move forward guys? Here's what I, I'm Andy Cohen. And I just want to see women get along. Brooks, remember when you called Tilleen fat? Tilleen, remember when you called Brooks a drug addict? Come on, why can't we just get along?

If you could take accountability for the venom that you spew, ah, it's not venom, it was just the last part of the vomit. Whatever it was that came out of your mouth on the internet and take back some of the stuff that can actually ruin people's lives. I'm like, Oh, I'm sure that so many business deals are like hanging in the balance about

what Caroline Brooks tweets. Well in Dubai, you never know. They can show up to your door. You know what they can use against you. Seriously, that in a moment. You're more of that. It's time for commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early and ad free right now by joining Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to criminal attorney early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So, um, till means talking and then we see some of Brooks tweets, which are so funny. She's like, actually, I'm not sleeping with anyone. It's a moment. No, I sleep with a lot of men ever, but we can talk about who to leave it. Her husband is sleeping sleeping with let's not go there you have kids and i like them so tread lightly fat children have her and then

tweet number two don't say no i'll be damned as someone who brings women into her bedroom to please her husband would say that i sleep with a lot of men at Talene Canarian. And you want to go there with me? We can. Specifically. Sounds like a good wife to me. What the hell? I think that's so nice. Oh, your husband's so terrible. Letting you bring him door dash.

All of Talene's clothes, bags, and shoes are either fake, designed, or borrowed, or returned to the store after being worn. God forbid I would ever wear her stuff the first season of the show. She's a liar and I have every outfit from season one hanging at home in my closet. Well, doesn't that make you sound poor keeping clothes?

Who keeps clothes? You're not supposed to wear that shit more than one time. Are you, what are you, Marlowe with the archive over there? And Andy's like, well, your tweets are pretty pointed. And Chanel's like, very bad, very, very bad. Well, you go live on Twitter all day long. You are so busy. I mean, can you at least take part of your if your ownership in that? Come on, come on, Brooks. And she's like, honestly, I can say any is

true. I'm very responsive. And sometimes the response is not equal what's given to me. So I will take accountability for that. The pay I get for the job I do on this show is not equal what's given to me. So I will take accountability for that. The pay I get for the job I do on this show is not equal to the amount of entertainment I break. There, I admit it, I admit it. You know, sometimes I just get so committed. I just get like, I just get down in the dirt,

much like the toilets at the glass house. So Brooks is like, it's not okay. I need to learn how to dial it back. Reel it in rather than go 100 when someone was maybe on like a 50. But is that an apology? Are you apologizing for that? What are you doing here?

What are we doing here? Is there an apology here? Can I get the apology? I think that, yeah, I think it was too far. I think it got too far. Okay, okay. Well, it sounds yeah, I think it was too far. I think it got too far. Okay, okay. Well, it sounds like you two need to side conversation. Okay, let's leave that back.

Side, a conversation not here on Bravo TV, okay? I've got a 9 p.m. reservation in Grinch Village, so come on, let's hurry this up. Five people are watching this show, you get 15 minutes for lunch, have fun. The only reason we're giving you 15 minutes is because I want footage of Lisa trying to eat a tuna sandwich while stuffed into this dress.

Thanks. Sorry, I really need to get out of here. I've got a cocktail with Rachel Zoe coming up or she's gonna talk to me about leaving Raj. Ugh. So, um, Talene is in Sarah's room and, you know, they're talking about, uh, they're talking about how she is.

And she's like, I'm just not going to take this. I mean, I've apologized a hundred fucking times, but she can't apologize for one thing. And Sarah's like, no, babe, babe, you know, what's really important is the feeling of the inside of you. You know what I mean? Like maybe you shouldn't fuck someone's hole. You should fuck them in their heart.

What was she saying this season that they showed? They're like, maybe you have your hand up her ass. It's like, maybe I have my hand up her heart. That's what it was. It was the puppet thing. My hand up her heart. My hand up her heart. No, you've always apologized. You apologize during filming, after filming, anytime any nanny of hers arrested and telling like, thank you. But in order for us to move forward, we need to have an honest conversation.

And I'm not gonna do this hee-hee, ha-ha bullshit, okay? Even though I do enjoy saying hee-hee, ha-ha. And then, so I was like, just bring in an honest conversation, you know? Just be like, hey, honesty is most important. Say, look, if you want to be in a relationship, this is like what I said to Akeen, let's have an honest relationship.

You want to have a relationship for TV? And he said, yes. And that was a very honest discussion. He got 1200 more followers from me. So how much does that work? Yeah, just make it honest. And so then we go to the other dressing room and Brooks and Lisa are talking about what a nightmare

Ayaan is being, she's being so dramatic, you know? And then we see a flashback to Chanel reacting to Lisa, calling her a victim, the old man down the well going, ah, ah, anybody up there? Ah, ah, ah. I fell for it, I fell for it, I fell for it. And Timberlake's like, what did you fall for? Certainly not some idiot young man who you thought you'd live happily ever afterward

because that's what I fell for. And she's like, she called me victim. She knows that it would make me crazy and it made me crazy. I fell for the word, the word victim. Dammit! It got me again. Well, I'll tell you one thing, at least you're not a fashion victim. Ah! Ah! That really is a trigger for you, isn't it? Ah! She knows what triggers you and you're rising to it.

So she was like, I'm going to be calm as her. So then we go, and she goes, no, don't be as calm as her. She's like a wax work, right? And to make her, to watch her make you look crazy is making me crazy. And I've just got this new face. I don't want to get crazy on it so far, you know? They're just like, what the fuck is that?

And there's like a sticky pad that's stuck to the bottom of her dress that has cockroaches on it. I guess it was like a trap, a cockroach trap that she walked in. Yeah, she's like, well, we're not in Dubai anymore, Toto. In Dubai, those cockroaches are females. They would have been arrested

for being naked in the street like that. Sergio, clear the cockroaches, please. Sergio. Oh, God, he's stuck on one of the papers also. Someone get Sergio off the sticky pad. Thank you. Baby, please. Baby, please. Baby, I'm stuck. Baby. Actually, you know what? On second thought, keep them there. Okay, someone call my daughter, FaceTime my daughter, show her this, let her laugh. Baby, baby, baby, baby, I'm stuck on you, baby. Please, baby, I'm stuck on you, okay? Michael, stop putting out human-sized sticky pads

for Sergio to get trapped on. I paid for these, I'll stick whatever queen I want to them. Baby, please save me, I want that baby. I don't want to die on sticky pad. Oh, I can't wait till next season where we see Michael literally carrying that baby in his room. Like this is the last thing I do for you two,

I swear to God. Quiet Michael, I'm on the phone with Barari. So now Brooks goes to Teline's room. Brooks' thing of just acting insane and then going to someone's room and being like, why are you mad? Yeah. It's so funny to me. I really have to hand it to Brooks. She has learned the balance

that you need on these shows of just complete delusion and acting wacky and then just acting like nothing. I think it's so good. It's very like Shaw's the sunset actually. It's very much like watching Reza and MJ get into like some vicious evil fight. And then they like go to each other's rooms and he's like, listen, you're my sister. There's no one I love more than you. When I was talking about your abortions, it's just because I was mad about the Starbucks

you didn't order me that one time. It's like, well, geez, you're right, but she just, I don't know, she's found a way to be just so entertaining and funny and not hateful. Because we talked about this already, how she adjusted mid season, but in the beginning of the season, way too much, way overboard.

And I think from then on, she's like, she's got it down. So I hope you get another chance and your show isn't killed. Yeah. Love you. So Brooks is like, well, I'm happy we talked. Did we? Did we talk? And Brooks like, kinda, we just need to move forward.

I think I'm ready. Well, for me, dude. You're ready? You're ready to move forward? Great. You're the person who did wrong here, okay? Now, Talene starts bringing out dude a lot. I guess this is to be like, we're still friends.

She's like, for me, dude, it's all the online stuff that you're doing. What is going on, man? The infidelity, dude. Dude, man, bro-han. What's going on with everything that you're writing on the internet, bro? I didn't say infidelity.

You're the one who said that you bring women into your bedroom. I didn't say that. You're the one who said that. That's not infidelity. I never said that. You've gone so low, dude. Cause you've been gone low in general, though. You've gone low in general.

How? Besides watch what happens, how? Give me examples dude. Oh, you're not gonna sit here while you're sitting on a chair because now I'm standing above you, you're trying to make it look like I'm standing above you. That was, I like that.

That's the biggest thing, I'm like, you're trying to make me look bad because I'm standing up. You walked into the room while she was in her makeup chair. Like, what we're not gonna do is have you talk to me three inches lower than you normally would be. She is right though, in a way, because if they had fought and she started fighting with her, she would have been like,

and then she came in there standing over me, you know? Well, just bring in another chair. There's a million around. So Talene's like, well, you want me to stand up? I'll stand up. What is this? I'm at like Hillstones, can't get a seat. Guess what? The only place I am going to do is stand up because all they have is high tops for people on cell phones. Thanks a lot Marissa, you fucking bitch. Teline should be so honored. We saw Sierra take one of those high tops. If you guys don't

know what we're talking about, you have to go look up the video of Talene going off about Hillstone Kirby, about her not getting a seat at this table. She went off and went onto her Instagram, ranting and raving about it. And we can't stop obsessing over it. That was hilarious. It's the funniest thing ever. And what's really funny specifically to me, and I mentioned this a few episodes ago, Ron and I went to Hillstone in New York City. And when we were there, they were booked up and we had to sit at the bar. But then music icon, Sierra walked in and she also was not seated and she had to stand at a high top and not a peep out of her.

She was totally like chill. And so the fact that Talene, a new cast member on a low rated Bravo show comes in and is trying to throw a hissy fit that she was not able to get seated. When someone like Sierra who's been famous for like 15 years at this point has no problem with it is just amazing.

The fact that both the two of us got better seats than either of them. And we were at the bar though. We weren't at a table. Yeah, but we were just like wait until somebody gets up and we- We weren't just at the bar. We were at the bar sitting next to someone from TJ Maxx corporate. That's

most important part. So we get back to it and Brooks is trying to just not take any responsibility. And so to lean is getting pissed and she's like, you know what, moving forward is going into deeper shit, Brooks, it's not just coming in here and not going into deep shit, dude. Okay? So if you want to go into shit, dude, let me know, dude. Not really, because if we have to go into deeper shit, then we have to rehash everything

and I'm not interested in going back to the past. You know what? This is what you do. You deflect. You deflect. What you're not going to do, what you're not going to do is you're not going to, you deflect. What you're not gonna do, what you're not gonna do is you're not gonna, you're not gonna, excuse me, I'm deflecting when you're sitting

in a chair right now, okay? Look, I see a granola bar on your counter. We're not gonna do this right now. See, that's deflecting, that's deflecting. Now she's, now Tony is saying, oh, and then you said I begged to be on the show 105 times, it's like you did. Well, I have receipts, I'm gonna show receipts.

She's like, oh, please,'s like, well, I have receipts. I'm going to show receipts. She's like, oh, please bring the receipts. Bring them. So basically, this attempt at an apology does not work out well. And they do not apologize. So Brooks. And Talene's like, you wanted me on the show to bring Stambury and everyone else down.

Yeah, well, don't shame her for that. That's your job. You're a friend. You're brought on as a friend. That's what you are. You're a weapon of mass're brought on as a friend. That's what you are. You're a weapon of mass destruction. But the real job- I don't want to hear... You know who I don't want to hear crying?

A nuclear weapon. That's what you were built for. You're brought in here solely to blow people up. No, she was brought in as a hot pocket because the reason... Everyone knows the first rule of being brought on as a friend is that you betray the person that brought you on in the first place. That's where Caroline Brooks went wrong, that she thought she was bringing in a nuclear bomb, but she brought in a hot pocket. So she bit into her hot pocket and guess what?

It burned her own mouth. Okay. She was the one who ended up more injured than anyone else. You know, hot pocket effect. So delicious thumbnail going on. No offense, but I just saw it and I was like, that looks so good. So I started eating it. During my hot pocket analogy. I think that's what it is. I switched my weight loss medication this week

and I want to eat a dog. Like, do you see Bueller anywhere? No, he's probably in my stomach. I'm like literally, look at me, I'm eating a nail on the- You should move to Ohio. Why? Cause you said you want to eat a dog. I'm an immigrant from Los Angeles.

I heard about dogs and cats. Do you use buns? Do you have this gluten free? I'm on a diet. Wait a second, if you switched medication, why are you so hungry? That's what I'm saying, I don't know. And I switched to one of these online providers.

So I don't know if it's even real. I don't know even what I'm inject one of these online providers, so I don't know if it's even real. I don't know even what I'm injecting myself with. But guess what, if you go get it through the pharmacy, it's $1,200. And guess how much it costs in Canada, $100. Can we fix this fucking country? I never really give a shit about anything until I can't lose weight because of you mother effers

fucking with the price of weight loss. How is that fair? That every, we're 12, how much is that? 1200% above every other country. Let's get it together America. I don't even wanna hear it from these fucking presidential piece people. Burger King is $17 and Ozempic is $1200, fix it.

That's not right. So now Caroline is, they're all getting ready to go there. I think they're all assembling back on the stage and Caroline's like, Oh, you have to do something about my jewelry. I'm wearing $1.5 million. Do you know how many Sergio's that are that is? And they're all just sort of settling in and everything. And Sarah's like, Oh, I have to admit Stambury. Stambury looks really hot after the surgery. I think I want to get her arrested. Please somebody tell me she was drinking a Zima in the laundry room. So Andy's like, here we are.

We're back with the Real Housewives of Dubai while they're still living. Now everybody here excels in the sport of wielding a platinum credit card. But with all two, that's where this group's athletic abilities and catch my keys, Andy. Now who's bad at sports? Yeah.

So it's the obligatory. I will not be shamed by Andy Cohen about my sportsmanship. Thank you. Throw him some keys. Well, they're just, you know, every reunion, every second reunion episode, they have to kind of like throw in a fun and games kind of segment and they really didn't know what to do. So they're like, I guess I'll do sports. So we see this clip package of them all just like playing

bad tennis and playing bad golf, which is no different than literally every other Real Housewives. Like we like how many scenes of bad tennis and pickleball have we had to endure? But we do get to see more of Talene and her business of putting parachutes on people and making them run in the sand. This time with Caroline Stanbury. She's like, I don't run. Tanner Iskra So then they make fun of each other for not being sportsmen like sportsy, sporty, sporty. Jared Yeah, they talk about golf. Tanner Iskra And then we go to the golf trip.

I'm just fast forwarding through this, but I'm so sorry I'm being controlling. And it's been flopped up, but I can't. It's okay. Listen, I can't talk about sports in real life. I don't wanna talk about them on Real Housewives. Like I'm watching Real Housewives to avoid sports. Well, Brooks, golf quickly went left

when Lisa brought up comments about her meaner row event. Why were you so offended? And Brooke's like, okay, well, okay, there's two different points here. Sort of like how there's two different types of vomit that come out, one in the beginning, one on the end, you know what I'm talking about? Anyway, there's two different points.

One about whether or not I should do the services as they're another business that offers the same services as me. He's like, yeah, so you wouldn't accept services from another spa? That's crazy. Well, I could wouldn't accept services from another spa? Really? Well, I could accept them if I was traveling around

or something like that. I wouldn't normally accept it if I wasn't in Dubai. There's rules where I can't accept it, but there's rules where I don't accept it. Do you have a non-compete with yourself? Yeah. And Lisa's like, but you do have services from other spas, which is my point, that you sometimes have services from other spas, which is my point,

that you sometimes have services from the other spas. Yes, I have definitely done that. So, okay, well, I watch other TV shows that I don't watch, that I don't work on, so were you mad that she didn't do it at all at Glass Houses? You wanted all at Glass Houses? That was a, no. Let me finish, let me finish, Andy.

You were so mad, you were so mad. No- Let me finish, let me finish, Andy. Let me finish. You were so mad, you were so mad. You were like Sergio. Let me finish. You're at the Rubik's Cube. Let me finish, though, let me finish. Let me finish, though. Let me finish, everybody. You have the floor.

Oh yeah, damn it. Okay, well Sergio messaged me how Lisa Milano was branding with decals and stabbering Sergio. They're the ones who started it. She's like, no, you came into my room while I was having a massage. I'm so angry.

I'm going to really emphasize the Britishness of saying massage. You came in ahead of schedule and didn't even bring any aluminum foil. Aluminium. So, aluminum. Aluminium. Aluminium, I think.

Aluminium. Aluminium. So, aluminum. And he's like, all right, all right, we get it. Aluminum. Aluminum. Aluminum. Aluminum. So, Andy's like, all right, all right, we get it. Aluminum. So, did you rile her up, Stanbury? No, I don't think so. No, no, no. She was fuming by the time she got into our room. She hadn't even stepped into a cockroach patch like I had. What's going on in this city anyway? We were trying to calm her down after Andy. That's what was happening with the Bronx. Well, when you went out to rent a space to do an event for your brand,

you're going to brand it, right? Right, everybody? Or don't even, Lisa, listen. Lisa's right. Lisa does not even need to argue about this. This was the dumbest fucking fight ever. And it's hilarious that it's still this big of a fight. Well, actually what she needed to do

was she just needed to get to this point. I don't know why she didn't bring this up on TV unless they edited it out. Lisa goes, also, let's be very clear. At the time you hosted your big grand opening for Glass House, you did not invite Ayan and I to your thing and we were the only people left off the list. It's like, that's all you had to say is like, well, you didn't invite us to your shit, so I don't know why I would have to support your shit. Yeah, why would I have my thing in your place

when you wouldn't even let me into your place in the first? And Brooks is like, correct, that is the answer we were all looking for. Well, I feel like this group likes to take each one's wins away. You said she doesn't have a business. Well, listen, we all work very hard. Do you think poop tea sells itself?

Do you know how many women across this country wouldn't be able to poop without my help? You know, and I apparently have someone that pays my bills and nobody pays my bills. Stop taking the win away from the fact that I pay my own bills. Also the win away from the fact that I was able to make get out of the season without getting pregnant. That's a big one. Listen, one of my enterprises is making homosexuals laugh enough to pay my house bills. Huge win. He's saying that's not a job.

Do you know how cutting you have to be to make a gay pay for your bills? Gay fans aren't free, all right? Work very hard for those fans. Do you know how many dresses I had to make fun of before the gay said, guess what, I've got dinner? I literally married gay goals just to get gay fans to pay for my home. Do you know how many hours I've spent with Michael ridiculing Sergio just so that way he'd buy

my window installation in the new house? Do you know how many times Sergio has had to walk down the stairs in an open robe to earn that water bill? It's not easy. So, um, Lisa's like, but you're always coming from my business. Okay. But also Lisa is the only person who ever does anything and selling her clothes is the only business that's ever happened on Housewives. I saw her on a podcast the other day doing that too.

Whose show was it? It was one of these Housewives, I think Teddy maybe. I don't know, it was one of these Housewives podcasts where she's like, well, the other ladies really don't understand because no one does have a business like Mino Roe, which I built from the ground. You sound like you're Leah Black selling makeup out of your trunk, You know what I mean?

Like you have a very rich husband who helped pay for a lot of your Alibaba clothes. Here's one thing that came up today was I think it's right here where Stamber is like, no Lisa, give me a break. I just pointed out that your clothes came from Alibaba. She's like, how dare you? She goes, we have proof.

Brooks found proof. And Brooks is like, they'll say I found proof. I'm on her side today. She's like, but she did. We've got proof of the found proof from Brooks. He's like, they'll say I found proof. I'm on her side today. She's like, but she did. We've got proof of the same clothes from Alibaba being on your website. Where is that? Because I go off on these things accusing Lisa of stuff

because you did, not you did, but you, Stanbury, told me that stuff. And now you're making me look stupid. So please bring me the proof. I just think that this is a tired point by Lisa because does it look like I think it's tired? I'm like, and then you come out here with some maternity clothes that your husband paid for off the internet.

Ronnie is so amped by this point, but I'm just like, why? No, Caroline came for Lisa's business at the last reunion for sure. And that was discussed and hashed out. But honestly, I do not remember Caroline coming for Lisa's business this season at all. No, she was not saying anything to Lisa this season. And she's like, oh, you always come for my business. And then she's like, you wanted her to do the dirty work. And she's like.

And also she came for your business in defense of you coming for her all season and saying her husband was gay, et cetera, et cetera. So Lisa's like, well, guess what? Guess what, I went and I bought three, not one, but three of your journals. And in fact, I have to bring something out. And so she reaches out for her prop and Andy goes,

ah, okay, but is this gonna land? Is this gonna land, please? Did you just this one out? Cause we've had some really bad props recently on Bravo. And Lisa's like, no, it's gonna land. It's gonna land, Andy. Okay, so I went and bought three of her journals, which I know makes no sense to the audience

cause we never talked about the journals. And I noticed they were very, it was very familiar. And I looked, it looked like a journal I already had from years ago. And which I have no idea what she's talking about. And I'm looking at it right now. I don't know what the journals are. I don't know what the journals are. I don't know what the journals are.

Airline, Stanbury, Manifest 2024, be you for you. You click the link in her Twitter and it goes to bustthelabel.com. And this is, and it says fucking grateful every day. It's the fucking grateful every day journal. It's pink and it's got a glass of tea and maybe some little chocolates. It's got four, it's $34 for a journal.

Girl, more skein my ass. So she's like, manifestation changed everything in our life and here's what we created for you. Are you ready to kick doubt to the curb and manifest your dreams with unapologetic gratitude? Say hello to the fucking grateful everyday journal by Bust the Label, your ultimate tool for transforming your life. manifest your dreams with unapologetic gratitude. Say hello to the fucking grateful everyday journal by Bust the Label, your ultimate tool

for transforming your life. So this is clearly by somebody else that she is influencing for. So to pretend like she's trying to sell this as her own book is a stretch, come on now. Timber is like, I didn't say I wrote it. And Lucy goes, because it's plagiarism, literally plagiarism.

I'm like, okay, like let's settle down here. This is not a senior thesis stolen off of Wikipedia. It is literally a brand that she's offering up on her online store of journals. I was like, what? So then Lisa's holding up these two journals as if she found the smoking gun. She's been waiting to do this.

And she goes, Mina Rostia's designs, but you, you put your name on something that you didn't even write. She's like, well, I didn't say I wrote it. I'm looking up Alibaba, Mina Rowe. I'm trying to find proof. Damn it, I need to do this one when we're not recording. So Sarah's like, she's like, Brooks, what happened? And Tonyn's like, oh, you know what? You did it.

You're doing a great job supporting businesses,isa you should you should work for hellstone they need that your attitude would be perfect over there and you think telling women to do squats on the beach with parachutes wrapped around their waists isn't a business is that what i'm getting here nice job supporting lisa do you know how much money i spent buying parachutes that say RAAA found them? So that when you go running, the parachute opens up and goes RAAA! And Stamberg goes, oh please, your creams are from Alibaba.

And she brought proof, oh Alibaba, that's when we have those, she brought proof. And she's like, they are not from Alibaba. My creams are from Europe. Brooks found them at Alibaba. You know that Alibaba is not a country, right? I know. So Brooks is like, I'm not the one who found them on Alibaba.

Okay, so it was me, Sabba, Sarah. Wait, who's Sabba? Yeah, Sarah. Hey, where is Sabotage? How did we not get any, Andy, I'm very, very hurt by how Farrahris reacted towards me. I'll tell you where a sabotage is. She's lurking in the dressing room with the cockroach strips and putting them

under people's dresses. She's like, she went to fight with Sarah Amidani. Sarah probably called the popo. And it's like, listen, I think that girl's got a flask in her person. I heard that she wears a wireless bra. You better follow her. They're like, get her. She's like hiding, she's in hiding somewhere. Wasn't Saba, wasn't there a reunion look for her? Like, wasn't she at the reunion? This is like when Tiki Barber's wife was at the reunion,

but like she didn't make it to air. I could be wrong though. I know. It's too bad because I was really into the Saba and Sarah drama that happened afterwards. And I think that we deserved. My clothes went on Ali Papa, they were on the Saba and Sarah drama that happened afterwards. And I think that we deserved. Maxos went on Ali Papa. They were on Ali Saba.

Ali Sabotage. Ali Sabotage. So they're still talking about these creams and everything. And Lisa goes, you cannot find my cream there, OK? Made by Nature Labs in Bulgaria. And he goes, OK, okay, Bulgaria. Andy's like much better. All right, Bulgaria, got it.

Let me tell you what comes from Bulgaria. Everything I order on Etsy. Really? And let me tell you how it comes. Wrapped in one piece of cardboard and 97 pieces of Saran wrap. Oh yeah, all my board game accessories, they actually come from Lithuania.

Like that right there, that thing that you got in the top of the cheek, go on right there. That can't be their Poland. No, it's fine, it's fine, but that came from Poland or Lithuania, like Eastern Europe is just- They do a great job, by the way. They make great piano cases. If anybody needs a piano table, Bulgaria's the way to go.

It'll take six weeks to nine months to get here. You never really know. And then when you message them, they're like, what, you want the piece of me? You know? So you don't really know. You don't know when it's gonna come, but it's very nice once it gets there.

You know, once you figure it, once you add the screw holes that they forgot to put in and stuff like that. Anyway, the point is my creams are from Bulgaria. All right, all right, Bulgaria. But also listen to how Brooks words it. This is why Brooks is the queen of this. She goes, I'm not the one who said it on Alibaba.

Me, Sarah, Sarah, wait a minute. I'm not the one who found that. I'm not gonna, you're gonna let that follow me? She's not saying it wasn't on there. Like she's friends with Sarah, so she's not, or she's friends with Lisa for this five minutes, but she's still not gonna stand up for enough to say say I've never seen that her clothes are from Alibaba

She's just saying she's not the one who found it and also the thing about Bulgaria thing too, which is so funny Is that like Lisa's basically saying like no don't accuse my creams of coming from this like mass-created place in China She's like no, I'm fashion like my creams come from Europe and it's like, they come from Bulgaria. It's like, not like Bulgaria is known as like high fashion center of the world. I think Bulgaria, really what I know Bulgaria from recently is from rhythmic gymnastics. It's like this cream can throw a ribbon in the air right now. But it's like, it's not like she's saying, oh my God, like, no, this is from Paris.

This is from Italy. It's like, it's from Bulgaria. I was like, well, you know, it's sort of like a lateral move. It's not from the discount centers, from the other discounts. It's not from the Chinese discount. It's from Bulgarian discount. Bulgarian discount.

So Lisa, yeah, so Andy's like, okay, moving on Bulgaria. Okay, Caroline Stamberg's new house. She renovated her house. She renovated her face, but Sergio still wants a baby. Let's talk about babies now. Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, honey, Barari. All right, lots to get into.

Not too much that's that interesting though. So at the start of the season, you were still waiting to move into the house. How long did it take to complete the house? Only one and a half, nearly two years. Oh, wow. That's actually quick. Yes, it's very quick, although it felt very slow. You've never felt time pass so slowly as when you're stuck in a twin bed with Sergio and Michael's back guest house. It took about 18 months, Andy. Double the time it would have taken me to give Sergio children had I given a shit. It took 18 months, which is I just told Sergio I was pregnant the whole time. He had no idea.

He still thinks his baby needs five more years to grow inside of me. Yes, Dubai is like, you know, they like pop up. It's the most bizarre thing. You only see like one person building it. It's really weird. Oh, is it? Is all that unpaid labor hard to see? Are they wearing invisibility cloaks? Tell me you're a sheltered wealthy person without telling me you're a sheltered wealthy person. Oh, yeah, I think there's someone in there. I don't know.

Like, it blinders onto the poor people. Does legal slavery come with invisibility cloaks now? I mean, it's just insane. You can't see the workers anywhere. They're just so kind the way the workers come up and they say, please help me get out to this country. And you say, ha ha ha ha ha ha. I love the way they joke with me.

Jesus. So Andy's like, wow, but from crack said, did Sergio say he was the man of the house while living in someone else's home? I mean, come on, that's nuts. Did you consider him the man of the house while living in someone else's home? I mean, come on, that's nuts. Did you consider him the man of the house while living with Michael? I don't consider him the man of anywhere, Andy.

Yes, no, I didn't consider him the man of the house because it wasn't his house, and that was very difficult for him to understand. He doesn't understand what is his house and what isn't his house. You should see him go into a pay less shoe store. He tries to take over. He sees four walls and he thinks it's his, it's his own.

And, uh, and he's like, did you consider him the man of your house and your house? And she's like, well, yes and no. I mean, I'm 20 years older and he's Sergio really. He was a man in a house, if that's what you were asking, but I'm older than him, smarter than him, richer than him and more interesting than him. So I would say I was more of the man of the house. I like to think of Sergio more as a man of the Starbucks. You know, you know, I think, you know, when I was married before, I think my ex

husband did everything. He ran everything. I didn't know anything was going. And I vowed that that would never happen to me again, being married to someone who was on top of anything in life. So it's something like, oh, well, you know what? He's secure in who he is. And I really respect Sergio for that. I mean, no one is more secure than Sergio. Can we get Sergio on a call, Andy? We tried, but he's busy separating his eyelashes. So his wife

doesn't yell at him for looking ungroomed. Well, unfortunately, Sergio is not available to come on the reunion because I sent him to the learning annex to understand some basics about how a vagina works and how where babies come from. So then we, a sample is like, listen, I'm already rich. All right. We're building a small boutique hotel, which is currently 15 bedrooms. It's, it's his, you know, I wouldn't be with someone that does nothing in my life. I just, I don't need another handbag.

All right. I need another handbag that walks and carries Starbucks. It says Tiki Tiki a lot and cries when you kick it, you know, you know, the things that I don't like about the Berkens, they don't cry when you kick it, you know? You know, the things that I don't like about Birkins, they don't cry when you kick them across the road. Sergio does, and he also holds my lipstick. It's really a win-win, Andy. I would feel very terrified to go to Sergio's Balinese Hotel.

I don't know why, that just feels like, it feels like- I heard you have a problem in your room. Hello? Hello? Honey? Honey? Honey? Honey? Honey? Honey? Yeah, that's just what, every morning, it's just him looking for Caroline. Honey, are you in here?

Honey? Honey? Honey? Yeah, I heard you had a problem with your room. Yeah, my TV's not working. You know what you need? What? A baby inside of you. Please? Please? Please? Well, Caroline, at the Queen's dinner, are you told to lean that you only give your relationship with Sergio 10 to 15 years?

Well, Andy, you know, that's just me joking. The reality is, it's probably about five to seven years. But you know, at some point, I'm going to grow old. He won't be as old. And you know, as a 20 year older woman who makes decisions for him, it's there's a huge difference between a man and a woman, especially when the man still acts like a baby and the woman is wiser and more beautiful than ever. So basically she's implying like Sergio is going to leave me for a younger model. And she's like, I don't see him doing that. Yeah, what does Sergio think when he hears that? She's like, oh, he gets very upset. It's hilarious. It's why I keep saying it. You know, Andy, for we were gonna get renew our vows. And so I was having a little bachelor party for him and I was gonna hire a stripper. But instead, I hired a divorce

attorney. God, the way I climaxed watching him cry all night. Really worth something. Well, whatever, you'll probably get another face lift. So you're good. You know, when I spent two days with them in New York, like 24 hours, literally there was no way Sergio was gonna leave you. He's just obsessed with you. And Brooks is like, Brooks turns around and goes, I'm gonna fall asleep.

That whole side of the couch is gonna fall asleep. That's not a very energetic side of the couch. You've got Sarah, who looks like she's stoned as fuck. She's just staring off into space the whole time, like, dee, drool's coming down her face. Brooks can't pay attention when it's not about her, and Lisa can't even fucking move in whatever she's wearing. She's not having any of this.

That whole side of the couch is almost in bed. Well, Stanbury, we saw you visiting the IVF clinic. The doctor told you it's best to have the baby in a year, and it's now been over a year, so surrogacy is now legal in Dubai. Are there any? And there seems to be there's no more obstacles to this happening. So, what's going on?

Well, funny story about that, Andy. When we went to the IVF clinic, I actually thought we were going to the DVF outlet. So there was a mistake there and I never would have gone in the first place. I said, so when am I going to drive a baby? They said that's the DMV actually. I mean, just let's get the letters together. You're not going to need to buy. I said, where the hell are the wrap dresses?

And they said, no, this is where you would get inseminated. I said, well, fine, as long as it's a good deal. How could you do this to designers? Oh, shut up, Diane von Thurstenberg. I'm not talking about wraps. I don't wear mustard yellow, Diane. I'm a designer, Andy. Okay, Lisa. So, um, she's like, am I longing for a baby?

No. Will I do it because I have to? Possibly I'll let someone else carry it. You know, but then again, I was was I longing to get remarried again? No. See how this all is working out. Was I longing to have a new house? No. Was I longing to have a man child pass to me

while I'm in Bali sending me a poster with his hair bleached blonde like Ken in that awful movie with all the pink everywhere? No. No. Was I looking forward to standing on a road while I watched a grown man sob because I tripped him on a sidewalk?

Actually, it's quite fun. I really wasn't planning on that in my life, but it has become a hobby. And he goes, well, he says it's kind of a deal breaker. Well, to be fair, he hadn't Googled what deal breaker meant and... This is funny. This is true too. She's like, he didn't know what that meant, Andy.

He really didn't. He thought it was a breath mint and I said, that's called an ice breaker. Hello there. This is a two part recap, okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two. Watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors.

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Let's get feely with Maggie Sheely. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy M.D. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Kaitlyn O'Neal.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish. She's not harsh, she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony. Junie, my favorite Murdo, Karen McMurdo. We love him madly, it's Kyle Pod Shadley.

Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender, the incredible, edible Matthews sisters. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Ring that bell for Rochelle. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke. Shannon out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinkin' violet Coutar. We love you guys.