Watch What Crappens - #2573 RHOC S18E12 Part One: Ry Know What You Did Last Summer

Episode Date: September 27, 2024

This is part one of a two-part recapRyan and Eddie have a showdown on Real Housewives of Orange County. It’s the battle of frown face vs. ugly jacket.  Who will win?. Watch this recap as a video and get our Secret Lives of Mormon Wives bonus at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

1Dri Plus subscribers can listen to watcha crappin' ad free right now. Join 1Dri Plus in the 1Dri app or on Apple Podcasts. And Away We Go with Georgia King is a brand new travel podcast only on 1Dri Plus. Each week, celebrity tour guides will whisk you away to their favorite places in the world with intimate, hilarious, heartwarming conversations that remind us of the power of travel to bring us together. Listen to And Away We Go with Georgia King exclusively with Wondry Plus. Hello and welcome to watch our crap is a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the sad and grieving Ronnie

Caram. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Good, just great. Anything you've any shit you'd like to drop on my head before we Right before I press record. I said RIP Maggie Smith and Ronnie didn't know yet. He goes what? I'm like, okay, I'm starting. I'm not laughing. I just tell you whenever somebody famous dies, Ben does that or waits until we're like five minutes into the show and we just get warmed up. We're like, Oh my God, yes, we're feeling energetic. Let's start this recap. And he's like, Dave, Maggie Smith died.

Oh wait, to be fair, I've, I've improved and that I don't announce it mid show, which is something that I used to do. And you'd be like, Ben, stop that. We're trying to be funny and talk about Tamra's face. that I used to do and you'd be like Ben stop that we're trying to be funny and talk about Tamra's face. But now I thought because I woke up and there was such a there was such a to do about it deservedly so because she was an icon. I just assumed you'd already known since you are a gay man living in the globe.

Well, I'm an old lady. So the rest of the gays have cut off all communication with me. I don't get the telegrams anymore Okay, I like that a bitch is tacky. Okay Don't tell him. Well, anyway, we actually are excited because it's the weekend And so today we are recording a real house. I'm just all Friday is a workday Okay, that's from the New York trailer if If anybody didn't watch it, that's side. That size scintillating, uh, cause just, I'm so excited for the weekend. It's Friday, Jessel, but Friday's the weekend. Friday's a workday Jessel.

I was like, wow. So I came back really, uh, size the worst. We all know it's a workday cause we're working. So. So like the point is it helps you get through the workday. The fact that Psy does not even know these basic tools of understanding how one talks about Friday just shows how bad she is as a housewife. But you can't have a name like Psy, I mean, and expect to not be exhausting. You know what I mean? Um, so go ahead. I'm sorry. I keep interrupting you literally why I'm just in that. No, it's you got your revenge.

You got your revenge. I made you sad by mentioning Maggie Smith. And then you got me mad by bringing up this stupid Psy point about Friday. I think we're having a fight. Also, I haven't eaten breakfast by the way way, so I'm gonna be really on one today. Well, I haven't either but that's called making an effort. Okay. I am going to be hangry. I'm gonna be hangry talking about Orange County. So, I'm really excited. We have

no announcements to make except the usual stuff. Go check us out on Patreon, Patreon.com slash watch our crap ins to watch our videos, etcetera. Um I was on the real moms of Bravo podcast. And that's coming up, uh, I think launching today or maybe next week. So that's cool. But you did that. No, it was, it was actually, it was really fun. And so everyone checked that out.

I think there actually was something I was meant to like mention to help, like to one of our friends was doing something that I wanted to mention and you guys should go listen, but I forget what it is. So. Well, we talked to the countess Luanne. So go listen to that. That's a free bonus episode that would normally be like a Patreon type thing, but that is a normal bonus episode for free for all.

So take a little sample and then come on over to Patreon. Um, that was super fun. is a normal bonus episode for free for all. So take a little sample and then come on over to Patreon. That was super fun. And that's up right now. And there's also the tagline review for Real Housewives of New York City. That's up now. So go check that out.

But for today, it's Real Housewives of Owens County. Yes. It probably would help for me to actually open up my notes before we start recording, which I did not do. But one thing I can say is that the episode does open with a new thing they're doing on Bravo, which is not like previously on the real housewives of Orange County. Now it's like, Oh, the housewives have gathered to have coffee and be like,

wasn't it crazy what happened last night? And then we get flashbacks. This is not unlike Top Chef, Top Chef pivoted to this format a while ago. And I've actually never really loved it. I want my previous leads to be like a proper montage. I want it to be one big montage. Get me excited to jump into the show. Don't give me like little flashbacks that feels like a bottle episode of the Golden Girls. I'm okay with that. I mean, I liked it. So I like this whole episode. So I have no nuts. Oh, the episode is victimizing the whole world and being like, how could you do this to me? But my

children, but my children. Shut up. You don't get a gold medal for having everyone has children, you attack everybody with children. Shut up about that. As my children, everyone gets us, everyone gets to ride the bull. Especially when it comes to Ryan. Okay. Now I understand. I understand getting upset about the other kids.

Like what did Sophia do to anybody? You know what I mean? Or like, why attack the one that doesn't talk to me? You know, that's, I get that stuff, why you would get sensitive over that. But A, no one really talks about your son. And then B, it's Ryan. Ryan's done enough damage that people should be allowed to have a free for all on Ryan. Okay.

He's also like 46 years old. I want you to be dissed in the presidential debates. Like, I feel like Ryan deserves, like when I get an electricity bill, I want it to say like you owe $200, also Ryan still sucks. I feel like everybody should have a go at Ryan at all times. But no, like the, listen, like children are off limits is like, as a mechanical bull and a housewife is always going to be like, you know what, I think it's my turn. And they hop right on that thing and they shake around on it and children are off

limits and then they get flung off and then it's someone else's turn to do it. So Tamara just got on the bowl. Listen, if we're going to live in a world where we're allowing children to make our iPhones, then we live in a world where we can talk shit about children. You know what I mean? If they're mature enough to make my phone, you know, my phone is my everything. I date that thing. That's my sex life. That is my work life. That is my food.

It's my kitchen. So if you know, we're entrusting children to do stuff like, you know, create my whole life, then we can talk shit about them. Okay. How about children are on limits and TV is off limits? How about I think the whole issue is that like like don't talk about my kids cause this could get back to them and I could like seriously affect them. That's not the fact that I don't want you talking about my kids anyway,

cause I'm a parent, but how about like kids are not allowed to watch TV. Kids are not allowed to watch what adults are saying about them. Did you even have a childhood? The stuff you say that kids should endure, I'm like, what did you live through as a child? No, I'm just saying, it's no, I think kids should be able to watch TV, but like, how about like,

don't let your kids watch your show. Yeah, true. I guess it gets back to them. Like, don't like have them, like how about those parents, like don't let the kids watch Real Housewives, and that way our adults can then talk shit about all the kids. Yeah.

Okay. I like it. I'm in. Okay. So Orange County, they're gathered around Gina, Emily and Tamara to the coffee shop. And Tamara's like, oh my God, I just had a little bit yesterday. And I just diagnosed her with COVID. Ben's like, does my throat hurt?

Do I have a test? I just diagnosed her with COVID. Ben's like, does my throat hurt? Do I have a test? I think I just had COVID to the TV. Guys, it's going around, the flirt variant. It's back. It's back, you guys. Remember the other day when I was like, oh my God, fucking COVID, it's back. Jesus, I just had a second hearing about COVID.

Okay, I need a new disease. Let's move things up. It's the Starbucks fall menu. It's basically like guess what? It's COVID season again. It's over. This season's new flavors. No COVID. I'm tired of it. I want a new disease. Okay, COVID is old. It's like that word Chugui. Where'd that word go? Remember how that word was popular? I'll tell you where it went. It went to secret lives of Mormon wives because that's where I thought of it again. Demi, Demi mentioned it on the popular. I'll tell you where it went. It went to, it went to secret lives of Mormon lives because Demi, Demi mentioned it on the episode. We'll be recapping next. Yeah. That's why I thought of it. I was like, Oh my God, they're,

they're still using togy. I haven't heard that word in a while. Hey, wait, where did that word come from? You know, be very, it's very demure, very mindful. I think that one's over too now. Right. Yeah. Oh yeah. I would be over too. It was a quick flash and Ben also mother. I really don't like calling people mother. It just creeps me out. It's a weird, and you know what else I don't like calling people.

We hate now weird. We weird is a good word. Keep Austin weird. Like I've always been a weirdo. I've been proud. So why are we making the whole Trump train or whatever? Whatever, not to get political, but what's that that everybody we don't like is just, we don't think you're weird. Cause they get triggered by it. We can have two weirds.

No, no, no words can have different contexts and we can have weird like your, this is weird. Like we're allowed to have that weird. And we're also allowed to be like, I love you. You're so weird. I like, like, I think there's like ownership weird. And then there's like, but honestly, that's a weird situation. That's actually, I feel like now if you call someone weird, they're going to take it as like being attacked, you know, like you've just assaulted them with the word weird, you know, that's kind of, God damn it. All right.

We're never going to start this recap because we'll actually actually know I'm glad you brought this up. This actually is segues really well. Well, well, once we get into the first scene, which we first had to get through this recap scene. So Emily's like, So when we were talking about the fashion show, I was like, this is the perfect opportunity to bring it up. And we see a flashback of Emily airing her grievances about her dress, etc. And she's like, honestly, it could have been a very heart to heart moment, you know, me screaming at Heather, Heather just having to hear me scream at her, it could have been a great

heart to heart moment. You know, we could have cried, I could have cried and screamed at her and called her a fat shamer. You know, we could have hugged after I don't understand what's going on. Chairman's like, I apologize, Kevin, for jumping in the bandwagon because I thought it was something totally different, batch. You know, it didn't help that Alexis was screaming. Get John's dick out of your mouth.

We can understand you better, you pinball. All she said was you put me in the same dress as Alexis. And then we see a flashback of Emily and Lexus fighting and Emily's being like, she's a lunatic. Emily, Emily is screaming and crying at a party because of a dress size, like literally, and I get this sensitive, you know, we talked about this a little more sensitively last week than I am this week, just because it's like the word Jugi. I'm over it already. You know what I mean? Like stop crying. But, um, you know, she's screaming and yelling in the

middle of a party. And now she's like, that girl's a lunatic. You're a lunatic. You're literally a lunatic. Well, you know what she was saying yesterday multiple times like so much is gonna come out tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. I love you, John Jansen, you're always a block away. Oh God, of course Gina would pick the poorest musical theater character to emulate in this scene.

It's a hard knock life for us. So yeah, something big's coming out today and then we see a flashback of Alexis crying on the floor. She's like, I feel bad for Shannon and her like weird cartoonish crazy lady voice that she's just suddenly, uh, Midwestern. Yeah. Premiered last week. Yes.

Sam was like, Oh, you know, he's retaliating. Oh my God. It's going to be like a dog fight. So then we see eight hours later, which by the way, that is the theme of this week's episode is timestamps to show how much time has progressed or how much time has, what we want back in time. There's a lot of like two hours later, one hour later. So this is eight hours later and it's just wish it after every timestamp, they would

just flash cameras face in like a different version. I just want time stamps with Shannon crying like, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. Eight hours later, I'm fine, I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. Five seasons later. I'm fine. I just can't take anymore. I can't take.

I was cracking up. I was thinking, when is Shannon gonna start crying and the second they showed Shannon saying So we see eight hours later Tamers on the bullshit is like my emotion level right now is fucking What the fuck are you doing Archie that was a pillow not a tennis ball you ate my pillow, what are you doing Archie? That was a pillow, not a tennis ball. You ate my pillow. What are you doing? I'm panicking. So, uh, eight hours later we're with Heather and Terry at the doctor. Seems like I should have a water before this test because lately I'm just dehydrated. I have palpitations on the treadmill. Well, stop. Here's the, here's the way to solve that. Stop doing the things that are getting you into trouble. Get off the treadmill.

Stop working out people. It makes your heartbeat fast. And then you guys are like, I'm hard because you're on the back now back to present. Whatever's coming out. It's not going to go smoothly. And Tamra's like, she's fucked. Um, so now, yes, I'm sorry. We are here now at the doctor's office with Heather and Terry.

And, uh, Heather says, I didn't realize you were actually at the dentist. I was in the wrong eight hour. I was in the wrong eight hour. No, no. I thought, I thought you were making a joke, but it actually was the next scene. So, um, Terry is gonna, he is needs, he needs to get his heart and everything checked out before he has a surgery. And Terry is saying that he has might have electrolyte abnormality and yada yada yada. And Heather's like, a couple months ago, Terry was snoring so badly, I couldn't even play

back the rerun of me on Malibu country. It was just like watching Reba McIntyre saying, and that's just no way to watch your work. So they're going to get his nose fixed to, you know, deviated septum. We all know we've all done it. Listen, we were all that girl in junior high. Don't deny it. Don't deny it out there. And she he's getting it, but he's afraid that Paul's going to be mad at him because you know, he's friends with Paul. They do that show botched together. And so he doesn't want Paul doing it.

And he's like, it's my fucking face. I can do whatever I want. So she's like, wow. I mean, after all these years, Terry with the news nose, a new nose, well, he could have a news nose. They could say, kiss my, poor is broken out again. Terry, shut your nose up. Jeez.

But anyway, it's kind of funny. By the way, my nose has a bump in it. It's right here. It's my little imperfection. And guess what? I'm not changing it. And then she does like this very slow blink like, she's like, look at my nose, observe it and you're so welcome. So then Heather, he's like getting his blood drawn and Heather sitting, I'm sorry, Terry's getting her blood drawn and Heather's next to him. And he's like, isn't blood the most beautiful,

amazing liquid? You're so rude. I'm tired, man. I'm really tired. All that music from Drake's house next door kept me up so late at night. So he's like, I could die soon. She's like, great, let me talk about how everybody still hates

me. Talk about how I can't get respect from any of these girls. So she starts talking about last night at the party at the fat or this weekend at the fashion thing. Yeah, and she's and she's saying, you know, I have to say it was a very full experience. Mainly because Emily was there, if you know what I'm saying. And there was lot fun and laughter. No, was that insensitive of me? Was that insensitive of me?

Oh, I guess I'll just have to wait for Emily to corner me and throw Jenga blocks on my head again. What's wrong with you? Um, no, obviously it's not me. It's me as Heather saying that. So Heather is like, Oh God, there was tears and there was arguing and there was just so much on interesting poor people stuff. You know, after last year, I really have been figuring out who my true friends are. And I've decided it's Drake, Drake and Julia Roberts.

So she's like, you know, I feel like with Gina and Emily, it's always two steps forward and one step back. And I just tell Emily, all you need to do is take more steps. do is take more steps. Did that sound me? I don't understand why she has a problem with me. You know, there's a piece of the puzzle that I don't know. And maybe Emily ate it. I'm not sure. So Heather's like, she's like, you know, I've been wanting to talk to Gina about the whole Katie situation. But it's really hard to assimilate all the

information. Because right when I think everything's fine, then Gina about the whole Katie situation, but it's really hard to assimilate all the information because right when I think everything's fine, then it's something else. And then we see flashbacks to their whole situation. And Heather's like, you know, I just, I don't know. I don't know what I need, Terry. I don't know what I, you know what? I think I, I think I do know what I need to get past this whole Gina situation. Another mansion. And how about we build it right next to Gina's house? I think that would make me feel really great. You know, I got so hurt about helping a poor person that turned on me that I've just been driving, driving past freeway underpasses, throwing diet cokes at

homeless people's heads. It's actually felt good. And by the way, I might take up softball because very good arm. And he's like, well, you up softball, very good arm. And he's like, well, you've got a process that you need to go through. You know, when you've had a challenge with poor people, you need to hash it out. Once we see a flashback of Gina and Heather twice, then another one of Gina and Heather hashing it out again at three times, Gina and Heather Gina just apologizing over and over again. And Heather's like, By the way, that is such an overstatement. We didn't I do not have to hash

things out three times like fourth time, Gina and Heather fifth time, Gina's future gravestone never forgiven by Heather Dubrow. All right, you're very light, pleasant criticism is just too much. You're just being mean now. Oh, so, oh, so you stopped talking. Yes. Okay. I'm not going to talk anymore. I'm going to look at my phone and see if Drake has texted. Not yet.

I'm still seeing three dots. He's like, okay. No, I do not want to talk. And she's mad. So then, um, he's like, okay, you guys are done with the blood. He's like, good, can I get up? He's like miserable, you know, because they're like showing their true colors, you know, here's how they really are everybody. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you'd want your own children defended. Whether you're facing a drug charge, caught up on a murder rap,

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So then they think they're off camera, but of course the mics are still on there in like some closet. She's like, Terry's like, you started talking over me. I don't want to have a conversation like that. And she goes, done with you. And then she's like, you can't say that, Terry. You can't say that.

He's like, say what? Don't admonish me on camera. Do not do that. I don't like that, Terry. Do not do that. It's like, oh God, you're growing, honey, stop. Honey, your eyes are becoming big black buttons. Honey, please. Oh God, you're growing honey. Stop honey. Your eyes are becoming big black buttons, honey, please. Oh God, you're turning into a Marionette.

Please honey, please. I would like to adjudicate this about your admonishment. So they are like really prickly about this. She does not like being admonished by Terry and he does not like being talked over. And as far as I can tell, neither thing really happened too significantly, but they are hyper sensitive about it. Kind of got to suck to just look around and see how much money that you've made.

And then just at the end of the day, look across the table and be like, wow, I'm still married to you. I'm everything in the world. And you, have you ever heard of ear wax? I mean, like literally an ear waxing kit. Like, what are you Rapunzel? Is there someone on the ground trying to climb up to your ear that you're trying

to help by growing your ear out like that? So I've been in a couple, listen to how upset I am. I'm like bitter after all of my years of non-marriage. I'm visible. I'm like, shave your back. So now he gets into like a gown and everything. They're doing like a test and everything and tears like I'm fat and Heather's like, No, you're not.

I'll tell you, you know what, I'm not gonna mention this on camera. You're not fat, which is why I bought you just your own jeans, right? By the way, I also gave a similar hospital gown to Alexis Bellino. It's smaller though. So why is her size handwritten? It's a negative six, Terry. Don't admonish me. So she just talks about his stroke and everything near death, yada yada yada. And they're looking at the echocardiogram and tears like seeing that gives me a heart on just stop it. Now is not the time for humor. To be fair, anytime you're around me is not the time for humor. To be fair, anytime you're around me is not the time for humor. Listen, Terry, it's been a hard enough scene without you getting me chewed by the cardiovascular

movement. They're only laughing at you because they think you're Vladimir Putin. So then we go to Jen and Ryan and they're in a store called the vault men or the vault men. I don't know. Vault is such a charged word when it comes to the Real Housewives, especially on this show last season was all about the vault, Heather's vault. In fact, it's like a lot in my vaults. I've put all the worst shirts that's like a lot in my vault. I've put all the worst shirts that I've ever encountered in my vault. And now I'm selling it to SAS. I've got piles of old Alfredo

bones in my vault every time an Alfredo goes out of service. She just throws them in the vault. It goes out of service. When there's a new model of Alfredo's. So we see Ryan and Jen walking down the sidewalk. And before we know they're going to the vault men, I was like, Oh, Ryan is wearing as close to a normal shirt as he can wear, which is an orange and black, large gingham print shirt. And compared to his normal hideous fashion, I was like, this is semi tolerable. But then we see that he's walking, they're walking into a into the vault, men and I was like, Oh, no, he's gonna pick some we're gonna see inside his process. We're gonna be like, this is how the sausage is made. Like, what

does Ryan do when he picks out these horrific shirts that he has tortured us with for two years now? Brian Smith He really is the face of Mr. Furley and the taste of Larry. It's like a threes company. I'm sorry for the old references for you kids out there, but that's from threes company. Just look up Mr. Furley threes company, look at his face, and then look up Larry from threes

company and look at his outfits. That is Ryan. A hundred percent. You know that Ryan probably like has invested in some sort of like legal Eagle bar that he wanted to build a new port. The regal Beagle. The regal Beagle. Legal Eagles was that movie with Hannah Whatserbunds and Debra Whatserbunds.

Debra Winger? Yeah, Debra Winger and Hannah. The late Hannah. Darryl Hannah. Yeah. Wasn't she in legal eagles? I never saw it. I remember that. Oh my gosh. Well, I can't say that was a classic, but I liked it when it came out. I'm not gonna put it on the shelf with like, I remember the poster being steel magnolias or something like that. But yeah, I mean, it was fun. But as part of the Darrell Hannah oeuvre, and you know, I remember the poster at the

video store, which is actually it was actually at the drug. It was our local pharmacy, which would rent videos and back and they've always put the video posters up. And I remember seeing it was always so exciting when there was new video poster up. I'm excited enough to watch the movie apparently. I don't know why I'm offended for Deborah Winger. I know. Like I feel, and I, well, you know, what's so funny is that Dom brought up Deborah Winger yesterday. Like it's a real big Deborah Winger week for me.

Like what are the odds that Deborah Winger gets brought up twice? She never gets brought up. Someone brought up Three's Company maybe on that Mormon show. And then my sister, my sister, my friend, my best friend brought it up on the phone as well. And then I brought it up for the third time. So there you go. So Three's Company. And I was thinking about Three's Company because I was watching Matlock, which stars Jason

Ritter, who is the son of John Ritter. Oh, well, there you go. I was thinking about Three's Company then during Matlock. Well there you go. Let me show you what Reese company then during Matlock. Well there you go. Well, let me show you what a party animal I am. It's Friday. Guess what I'm doing tonight? I'm watching Matlock in bed with a salad from her pain cafe.

I'm so excited. I was going to say, I did not love Matlock. I've heard that. I've heard that from you and then you and then right now again you. So all the reviews are in. The reviews are in, I wanted to love it. I was like, I think I'm ready to embrace a procedural again. Like I haven't embraced one since house MD and I'm like, I think I'm ready for this. I love Kathy Bates. The scene I want to watch, like, you know,

a cute old lady go and then like charm people and then surprise people. And honestly I was 45 minutes in and I was like, I can't watch this anymore. I stopped. I didn't even see how it was all fixed. Well, I you know, you sometimes you got to give things time to grow. Not that they really do on CBS. Just the same. But you know, I'm gonna I have hope. Okay, so anyway, the point is Ryan can't dress and he has Mr. Furly face. So she's But oddly enough, a really good body, which is, which is the worst part of it, like to have a frilly face, but a great body. It's like really hard to deal with. That's the most important outfit you can have the outfit that God gave you.

It's called your birthday suit. Take care of it. Available at the vault, man. So, uh, there's no gift receipt in that one. You can't take that back. Okay. Take care of it. So the episode, I mean, so the scene begins with a metaphor, which is Ryan saying, watch out honey, uh, to, uh, prevent Jen from stepping in shit, which is her lot in life, unfortunately. Um, and she's like, I'm not going to get engaged to it. So then they go to the store, she picks up horrible clothes for him

and she's telling us, Ryan's fashion is his choice. And I support that. I support that. And you know, it's typically a jean jacket with splatter paint on it, really tight jeans that he tailors. Even his t-shirts have to go to the tailor board shorts, tailored underwear. They get tailored. They get tailored to so proud of him. He does such a great job, you know, to all the tailors out there. Thank you for all you do. Thank you so much.

You just bring them to Taylor Armstrong. That's what she means. Taylor, I'm sure like, Oh, great. Another garment. Thanks. Taylor's like your pants don't fit, but guess what? I know billionaires. billionaires. I first of all, I don't see any problem with taking everything

to the tailor. I feel like that's actually what you're supposed to do. I don't do it. But I'm like, I always aspire to like, you know, I'm gonna start taking everything and bring everything I buy to the tailor. I don't do that. I am opposed however, to the splatter paint aesthetic that Ryan adopts like he is definitely someone who kept Ed Hardy and affliction alive. just is just he's just it's just terrible. Yeah. So he's keeping that stuff going and she's trying to pick stuff out for him and then basically the lady as they start talking about the lady from the lady comes crazy who is also working at the store.

Lady from Jim crazy. She's like, Hey, you know, Tonka, right? And who? I really missed. I was never going to kill him. I was never going to kill him. I just love him too much. He had so much freedom. He would walk around the full store.

That's why I'm missing an arm. Anyway, that's my, they're hearing right there. You know, right. Oh, sorry. Good. You know, you know, at you, well, you know, that, you know, that real, that Dweeb Jared from PETA, he was in here before he didn't want, he didn't want any of the, he didn't want the shirts.

Like my Tonky B Tonky B loved all these shirts. He would just, my kid would just walk around here and just take shirt after shirt after shirt. I loved it. They wanted to take Tonky B out of the, out of the vault. I said, you can't take Tonky B. He's my kid, but they took him out. Anyway, any of them were here and they bought this shirt.

They bought that jacket. Yeah. She's first of all, don't we have retail? What do you call it? Um, code of conduct. Yeah. You can't just go being like, oh, when you know about this jacket, that's like, can I buy clothes without worrying that you're going to fucking revenge?

You know, jacket me. Yeah. There's like a, there's attorney client privilege. That's what it is. Yes. And you cannot, you cannot just tell people, especially, I mean, look, Eddie and Tamara are like Orange County celebrities. And so like, you cannot just be outing what your celebrities are doing in your store. It's discretion. You got to do discretion. Or what you do is if you really want to brag that they came in, you do what every proper tailor and um, uh, nursery does, which is get a,

get a black and white headshot, get them to sign it and frame it and put it up on the black and white headshot. It's just my favorite trash cam. Like, Oh my goodness. The fabric shop that I go to, I love it because they have so many of those headshots. It's like Maureen Stapleton. It's like everyone from the eighties. It's like Ed Asner, Maureen Stapleton, like really just those. I think Alex Trebek is in there or something like that. Oh, it's like everyone from the eighties, it's like Ed Asner, Marine Stapleton, like really just those, I think Alex

Trebek is in there or something like that. Oh, it's the best. So let's see now. So now we go to Tamar and Eddie, and she's just bitching. She's like, Oh, my god, why's it so dirty? How can nobody cleans up after the dog? Why bones all over the floor? It's like, Oh,, actually that one is yours. It's from when you just got your rib cage redone to have your belly button reinserted. Oh yeah. Get over here, rib. Stupid rib. Anyway, the stove is still dirty. I need to get you to get back. And everything that she says, he's like, that's called cooking, babe. She's like, yeah, but why is it tea pot messy?

It's called making tea, babe. What about the sink? It's called cooking, babe. I'm like, how about it's called having a personality, babe? Jesus, how about it's called fucking divorce? I do something. Oh, my God. You lump of nothing. You don't even have a job. You can't clean the stove. I if somebody if I said the stove is dirty and they said it's called cooking, it's called cooking.

It's just from yesterday. So are you by you're going where this yesterday greases to the trash. Get out. Yeah. The appropriate answer is, Oh, so I was going to do that this morning. At least lie. You know, don't like shame the person who is actively cleaning up your mess. Yeah. Um, and that's the last time you will hear us

standing up for Tamara today. So, Tamara's like, yeah, yeah, pick up after you talk, Eddie. And he's like, it wasn't me. It's never you. So then they start, you know, small talking about Eddie doesn't clean the house, but his motorcycle, you could eat a meal off his motorcycle. I should just have him put Harley all over everything if I ever want to clean that. So then we start talking about last night at Ryan's house. Yeah. And then we actually start cutting back and forth. So now we go back to Jen and Ryan and Ryan's like, so Tamra and Eddie say, act your age. Is this a little bit more me acting my age

in this outfit? And Jen's like, well, we're trying. I mean, you know, I don't know if paint splatters really acting your age. It's just more just what age is sad. What's the saddest age? Because that's what you're wearing right now. Also, why are they saying act your age? Tamra just got her like 10th facelift and Eddie is like obsessed with Harley's like a fucking young chap. So quiet. I'm not going to act my age. I feel like when you act your age, you start dying.

You just die. You just give up. Yeah. Act your age, not your shoe size. So Ryan says, yeah, well, because they say I'm a blinking red, red light, which I don't understand what a blinking red light is that supposed to be like a warning sign is that supposed to be like, yeah, the comedy. When I don't know what blinking stop sign is it like the railroad tracks are coming

down. It's where you have to stop before you go. So in the red light world, it's where you it's not a it's a red light to where you have to stop, but then you can keep going. You just have to stop. Yeah, in the red light world. In the red light community, we like to say that the blinking red light means stop and then walk.

Yeah. So, he's like, am I blinking red light now? She's like, I don't really know what that means, but I think you're moving in the right direction. It's so beautiful. I love you. Thank you so much. So guess what?

Tamara and I are moving in such a better direction, you know, from all that crap. Sorry, Shane sawing something upstairs. He, I was like, I was like, it's lovely. You got very quiet. Um, and he's like, well, as you should. And we see a flashback to Jen and Tamara making up and he's like, you know what? I love that for you guys. And he's like, no, I do too.

Thank you so much for loving that for us. It's just much easier to have fun with her and get along with her. And then we go back to Tamara and Eddie and she's like, Jen is very happy where we are in our friendship and you know, she loves you and you love her. And he goes, Jen is a very kind woman. And I really respect that about her. Yeah, bitch. But then we can match Jen and Ryan.

And she's like, oh yeah, Eddie matters to me so much, so much, I spent so much time training with them, you know? And if I'm gonna move forward with Tamara, you know, you and Eddie, you need to have that conversation. You need to have it. He's like, but every time I try to say it, say something, it just says, but that's conversation, babe. I mean, what am I supposed to do with that? So we see a flashback of Ryan was on the all about the real housewives podcast. And he

said, I never heard about Tamara and Eddie. And when I did hear about Tamara and Eddie, when I got to the gym, it was nothing positive. So Tamron tells us, why I was trying to pick this picture that Eddie's a horrible guy, that nobody had cut fitness, which is so laughable, bitch. Really? Cause nobody went there. Also, we should be so happy that he's getting a picture of people being at the gym. Yeah. And also that's not really a bad thing to say about Eddie. She's acting like he was spreading terrible rumors about Eddie, but the

compared to what you guys were saying about him last year, which whether it was true or not, it doesn't matter. You were spreading that shit on national TV. He's allowed to say people probably don't even like Eddie. Like that is the tamest response. It was so tame. And I agree. Last, it was an entire season of Tamra saying that, that uh, Ryan sent dick pics around that he was hooking up with Heather Amin or something

like that. And there was other people and like, he goes after married people and the yada yada yada married women. And then he's like, yeah, anything I heard about Tamra and Eddie was not good. Like, he's like, well, you know, he showed his true colors. So then Ryan's like, I don't have a problem with either of them. Eddie's just not a dude that I would spend any time with because he's just not a dude. He's just not a dude. Like, is he part of any sort of criminal ring? I don't think so. Just not a dude. I love his just not a dude. It's like such a diss, you know? And he's like, you know,

I don't care what people think of me, but you know, after sitting back and watching a whole year of Tamra coming for me, you know, fuck her basically. And he's like, you can only take so much, you know, but I think it's time for truth versus Tamra's sad reality. Okay. Well, right or wrong. Good luck to you, sir, because she will ruin your fucking life. I don't, I don't know if you've watched you just see that of this show, but yeah, good luck. Well, also you should stay out of this one because you also are a, you're like, you're, you're up to shady business. And when you're in shady, when you're doing shady business,

you've got to be on your best behavior and you don't start fights with people because when you start fights with people, especially someone like Tamara who is going to do her digging and she is going to, she's going to find the shit on you. Like you don't on orange County, if you've got a secret to hide, you don't, don't start fights because they do you've got a secret to hide, you don't don't start fights because they do dig it up. Yeah, no, no one has gotten all these no one has no one secrets on Orange County has been have been able to stay secret. Yeah. There are investigators Tamra will go

to a psychic if she needs to to get the proof she needs to open your case file. Yeah. So Jones like, well, you know, if someone was just firing on me like she did the whole time, I mean, you're allowed to be pissed like, well, you know, if someone was just firing on me, like she did the whole time, I mean, you're allowed to be pissed off for me, you know, and I could understand all the sides, but we're getting along. So you guys have to have the conversation and he's like, great. I'd love to, of course we're going to have the conversation. Love, love, love them.

Great. Whatever I can do. And he's like, look around the room. This guy is so fucking shifty. He's always just looking around, you know, he's always looking look, yeah, I'm happy to have the conversation. This guy is so fucking shifty. He's always just looking around, you know, he's always looking for the exit. In case he has. Yeah. And then it cuts right to Eddie going, no, not a chance, babe. Not going to have a conversation in terms like, but I don't want to think of backwards.

And she's saying, you know, I always think I want to go backwards is my face, bitch. He wants to be a little bitch and try to act like it. Like you came for me, so I'm going to come for you. Okay. But my hope is if Ryan apologizes to Eddie and make that effort because Jen and I were in a good place when he decided to go do this, bitch. And Eddie's like, you know, he's always got those very serious eyebrows. He's like, you know, tell Jen I love her, but I want nothing to do with that guy frown smile. And all you got to do is Google his name, babe.

You know, I said, I should have Googled his name when I met him. That guy is a scumbag, babe. He's a scumbag. Oh, really? So you didn't like him saying that people didn't like your gym, but now you're going to Google him and have his shit on TV. You guys are such hypocrites, but I'm with that. Here comes one right now. You guys are such hypocrites, but I'm with that. So then Ryan's like, you know what I say? Fuck them all. I'm always going to do me.

I'm like, yes, we know you're the one who's keeping this vault man in business. So now we go to Shannon's and Shannon's sad corner of the world. So Shannon is like, who wants a carrot Archie? Huh? Let's get you a carrot. Unfortunately, carrots turned out to be high in carbohydrates. They're bad for you Archie. So you can't have a carrot. I'm sorry. Alexis Blina took that from us. So she FaceTimes Adeline and she's like, Oh, you're blurry. Stop Adeline. Stop moving.

Well, look at you. You're not blurry anymore. Did you stop moving? You moved. You look fresh. You look, I like your fresh faced look with not a lot of makeup. Is that something that those New York city liberals have taught you? And she's like, yeah, thanks.

Just got back from class. Oh, okay. Well, my kids are all in school and well, two of them are in school, one's in Paris. And I love that the girls are branching out and finding other people that they can replace me with because I've done my job on this world. And you can just discard me to the side. I'll just be here with Archie and putting my hand out begging for quarters to pay losses to John Jansen and Alexis Bolido. And you know, those are, my daughters are totally self-sufficient. I miss them, but it's very quiet around you. She's like, so what's the status of men over there? Has anybody blackmailed you? And Adeline's like, oh, the men in New York, they're disgusting. What do you think?

Yes, Adeline. I love a girl with her eyes open right when she gets to the city. Like everyone here fucking is a pig. Okay. I'm not touching any of you. Yes, Adeline. You're my little hero. So you haven't been asked out on a date.

Have you gone to any Cotillion's out there? No mother, they don't do to Cotillion's in Manhattan. I just don't, I have been asked out, but I just don't go. The only date I will accept is a date to Carbone. Okay, well, let's live in reality. No badour ever goes any place that has carb in the title, and especially not a place that's exclusive with carbs. Well, wait a minute. Now that I think about it is carb one is how you spell it. So, okay, just one carb is fine. It's actually very moderate. Yes.

She goes, well, don't underestimate me, mother. So how are you? She goes, I'm okay. We did our tour and it was really fun. I went to St. Louis with Victoria Gumbelson and we had a lovely time. Honestly, Adeline, I have never been happier in my life. Never, never been happier. I'm having 40 to 50 happy thoughts right now. I'm just so happy. I was laughing for three days straight and I needed that because... Uh-oh.

Mom? Yeah, I'm not going to cry. Mom, please don't. Because John is threatening lawsuits and It's a freaking spiral. That's what's happened. And I offered to pay him all the money he wanted, but he wouldn't sign a settlement agreement where he wouldn't say bad things about me. And that aligns like that's weird and gross.

See, you can't fight it. Ronnie, the youth of America has taken over weird insult again. They've taken back weird and gross. I feel like she used weird properly, you know? Yes, she did. And I love to also her use of gross, her repeated use of gross, because she goes, I know, and I'm working really hard at line. Okay, I'm stuffing more cream cheese into more salmon. And you just don't even understand what I'm doing here. And I don't need him to bring me down. I mean get off my back.

So she goes yeah it's gross. That's how he is. It does. I literally told you that after your first date with him. He's gross. It's like oh god I feel like I hit rock bottom but it seems like John wants to get me down there further and I don't think I could go any lower. Three hours later. Holy shit, John Jansen says Shannon Madura for $75,000, it's like it's out there.

It's a story, bitch. We all knew about the live feed, but now putting it in the press, that takes it to a whole nother level. And then we see Tamra saying, People Magazine's a big outlet and it's also a very reputable outlet. So if it's out there, it's 99% true. I love that Tamra talks about People Magazine like it's The Economist.

She's like, it's in People Magazine. To some of us it is. I mean, that's how I grew up. There's always a People magazine in my mom's front seat of her car. Don't ask why I guess that's what she does stoplights. And she would swear by that. You know, listen, people argue with it. It's in People magazine, you know, People magazine is way, way more authoritative than like the tabloids. But it's just, I just feel like But it just, I just feel like Tamara talks about it with such a, such a reverence. Like this here is the pinnacle of journalism.

Yeah. Shannon, it's in there. This is locked in. This is written by Deep Throat. Oh, wow. Deep Throat came back to write the, no, Dave Quinn. You can Dave. Dave Quinn gets a stray.

Um, say what you will about people magazine. I'm still working on all their crass with puzzles. Haven't finished one yet. So, um, now we go flashback to Alexis and she's being like, this is so hard for me. I don't want to come after Shannon Bidour, but I have to. So then Tamra is like, this is so hard for me. I don't wanna come after Shannon Bidour, but I have to. So then Tamara's like, oh snap, this is gonna send Shannon into a fetal position somewhere.

Does anyone have a camera? Can someone get that on camera? Please, I just wanna see it on camera. Hey, can anybody read my oil right now? Cause I wanna see if it's fireworks going off around my body. Then Tamara says, you know, you just don't want your dirty laundry ad like that that You wanted at a dinner party with me shouting at people and strangers across across the table

So Tamara See she's just called Shannon, right? So Shannon looks at her phone and obviously but dials Tamara on accident and of course Tamara's like oh, it's a bad time I'm gonna listen to it and get it all recorded on camera. She's such a monster. So we just hear Shanna go, I need to talk and strategize this and figure it out. I know you can help me, cream cheese.

I know you can. Okay, Archie, what's our legal plan? Woof, okay, all right, we can woof. All right, what else do we do? Okay, we're gonna chase the tennis ball. That's the plan. Okay, you know what Alexis is I'm at rock bottom. I'm taking legal advice from Archie. Oh god. I just jumped in the pool. Why did I do this?

I didn't even do this Wait a minute cream cheese. Alexis is paying for her publicist. Oh god my motion level right now. It's I'm so overwhelmed. I'm so lucky. I was like this, you know, this makes it all the better that she's just dressed like a first lady in every confessional. I know. And then and then she's ranting. She's ranting and raving to whoever's in there. And then all of a sudden she realizes her phone's on. This is absolutely ridiculous. I don't even know.

Oh, hello? Hello? There's someone there and Tamara's like, oh shit. She just hangs up. Okay. Real smooth on both of your parts. So then Tamara immediately calls Heather and she's like, and we hear her saying, hey, Shanna,

why didn't you just agree to pay him? Because it's called blackmail. Okay. And I hope when they're taken in for that shit, if they ever are that you are taken along with them, man. Yeah, it's, I think that like Shannon, I think Shannon is, um, entitled to have some principles. Um, it may cost her more. I don't think that it's, I think that Shannon it's like, yes, it'll cost her more to pay the legal fees. But I think that's like the legal, she can afford all of it. The legal fees, she like that. I don't think on principle is going to bother. It's just

that he wants the $75,000, regardless of what legal fees are on top of that. That's what's going to bother her. And she's entitled to say, you know what? No, you're not allowed to fucking do this. And you're gonna have to pay some legal fees too. So Tamara is like, Heather, Heather, did you see the news? Oh, I know Drake had a birthday party. We saw the bouncy castle from the dining room. It was amazing. He found the lawsuit, People Magazine did an article.

Was it deep throat? He still owes me a call. Yeah. Oh my God, what is John doing John doing oh shit I don't know I tried calling her to see if she was okay so I can make it not okay and then she butted out me and she was crying so hysterically she was a Lexus had a publicist to get this out there all kinds of stuff it was hilarious it was basically like watching a like watching sitcom on my cell phone with my ears. Who's reading it?

You. What's Wendy Malick in it, that bitch? So then Tamra's like... We always go up for the same roles and she always gets them. It's just not fair. So Tamra says... I don't think Alexis had anything to do with the article being released. Once you file a lawsuit, it just comes out, especially if a publicist calls. So Heather says, John has historically said he doesn't like to be in the spotlight.

And this would be counterintuitive to that. That's like, I don't know, giving a role to Gretchen Rossi for a sitcom. She's not even an actress. I don't understand what John and Alexis for that matter are doing to accomplish. I mean, was there no way to try to settle this? And she was like, I feel so bad for her. Shannon, no, I'm watching one of the cleaning ladies try to climb over the gate. It's hilarious.

I have the remote right next to me, but you know what, she needs a workout. You can do it, Alfredette. So, Tim is like, yeah, it's so bad. Okay, bye, bitch. So then we now all of a sudden it's back to California living. Is this the moment where we always talk about how the post production department on Orange County really seems to be having a field day? And that's what during one of these interstitial scenes, they lost their minds.

They had footage of a dog just running around in a park and they put these white squiggle lines around the dog. Did you notice this? It's like whoever is supplying the post department with plugins from Adobe, they need to settle down. This is getting out of control. They have to make Katie look like she's moving, you know? So we go to Katie and Matt's house and they're like, wow, I like drinks. He's like, yeah, I like drinks too.

Wow. This is great. Let's talk about our party tonight. I'm going to introduce you to all the husbands. It's going to be fun. Hey audience, get this. I'm having people over and you're supposed to cook, but I didn't. I ordered food and then I put it on fancy dishes. Hopefully they'll think I did it. Isn't that original and hilarious? I'm going to be on the show for 10 years.

For some reason I woke up this morning and you know, like sometimes you wake up and you have like a random pressing thought in your mind. And my, what I woke up with was, well, A was why do I have, why do I feel like I have acid reflux right now or indigestion? But B, I was like, do you think they'll give Jen another season? I was like, yeah, no, she's done enough to get another season. Katie though, Katie's a, she's one and done. And you know what? I think this is it. I think Katie, I think we're too far into the season. I think Katie is officially a dud. Yeah, I think so. And you know, I really do want to like her.

And I don't know what it is about her. She's got me too, but I feel like there's promise there. I can see why she was cast. Like sometimes people you're like, why were they even cast? I can see why she was cast, but I don't know. I'd like that she has like a snobby vibe. I feel like she is someone who could take on Heather, yada, yada, yada. But, you know, we sometimes we just get that feeling.

We're like, I just, I'm like, you know what? I like Katie, but I'm starting to realize there's so much going on with this cast that when we, if it feels like when we get to a Katie scene, we're like slamming the brakes, then that's not a good time. Well, speaking of slamming brakes, I mean, there are promising things with Katie

because you know, the story about like the road rage incident where she chased the guy and then, you know, stuff like that, like she's got a temper on her. So I think she's just maybe too guarded or she's just not, I don't know, you know, or she's just too practiced at like keeping her emotions in. You need to be like more insane to be here. You need to have less control over your emotions, you know? Yeah. Also very on not a very deep moment, but she's basically they're getting ready for this party.

And then we go to Emily and Shane's and Shane's like, is Heather gonna be there in Katie's? Heather will not be there because Heather refuses to talk to Katie or acknowledge that she exists, which is very awkward. And you know, Ryan went on all those podcasts and just trashed Tamra. So is there going to be a boxing match? I don't know. Do we have a gift?

Are we supposed to take a gift? Hey, child in my arms, what should I take someone as a gift if I'm going to dinner at their house? Pot! So then we go to Terry's exam room and he's like, okay, okay, I'm going to sign the paperwork. I can kill you and get away with it. Heather, why don't you, why aren't you happy? It's like, don't do that. I'm not amused with this, Terry.

I do not like you talking about death on camera. Stop it, Terry. Terry's also doing that thing. Like, you know, when a professional goes to see another professional does the same work as the initial professional, and then they have to always like, mention it, have you I don't know if you've ever been on a plane, where a flight attendant is a passenger, but they're a flight attendant from like another airlines or they're retired or whatever. And they spend the entire time talking to the flight attendant who's working about like their experiences as a flight attendant. Give your peanuts out way later than we do. I mean, we just we just carpet, you know,

we just throw them out there. And it's like nonstop because when the flight attendant is done with like handing out drinks, whatever they tend to stand over the person who's the passenger and it's like, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I used to, I was based out of Chicago. I don't always fly in and out of O'Hare. We would take off, we would be peanuts at 45 after cocktails, 15 minutes after that trash bag. We didn't have trash bags back then. We just had a bucket. I don't know. What was it? What's like? And you're like, Oh my God, like we get it. You're a flight

attendant. You don't have to try to like prove your stripes to the other flight attendants. So funny watching you knock on the captain's door. We used to just be able to walk into the main cabin. I'm telling you the day that changed everything. Am I right? Things are just different now. There'll be a big screen in the center. Yeah. Yeah. So remember when you'd have to put your credit card in and watch TV? No, why? Cause there were no TVs on the back. Remember actually remember the air phone. Remember the air phone. Remember that the headphones were like stethoscopes. God, that was the time. That was the day. And I'm like, so that's what Terry is basically doing with this doctor. Like, well, everyone, this is the part. It's like, I know this part because I'm a doctor. So I know what this form is. This is this form. I'm like, okay, just relax, just get your nose done in peace.

Yeah, just data. And he's like, so if I if I die, don't worry, it's gonna be fine. You know, grief for six months, and then find someone else find someone with a better nose today. Heather goes, I did ask Jay to make him look jay-z. That is, of course, my other friend to make him look like George Clooney but I'm not sure that was achieved but more importantly I did get I do want to get my beauty sleep my cognitive sleep all my sleeps and my actress sleep of course. Heather is so funny because she does shoot this like she just thinks she has final edit and she can go through

and edit everything because she says like three times the episode did you make him look like George Clooney? I asked him to make him look like George Clooney. Terry, I think I'm going to make them ask. I think I'm going to have them make you look like George Clooney. One of those use that because it's going to be gold, whichever one you like use it. We're going to use all three of them and make you look stupid. Also, is George Clooney our high watermark still of? I think that ship is sailing. I'm not really sure.

Not to be shady. I just think I agree. I think the ship has sailed as well. It's he's I just don't see him on the cover of like the sexiest man. I don't even know what he looks like these days. I haven't checked out George Clooney for a while, but he's no longer like George Clooney ever will get fudgo, right? No, but it just feels like it's time to update our references.

I don't think there's more modern references and this is coming from people who mentioned park overall at least five times a year. I just brought up threes company in this episode. Okay. Mr. Ferley, I'm Larry. But you can make it look like herb from KRP in Cincinnati. Or actually her be the car. It was slick. It was little. It's fun. Everyone loved her be went to Monte Carlo. Very international.

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