Watch What Crappens - #2582 SLOMW Ep 6: Let The Chippendales Fall Where They May

Episode Date: October 7, 2024

This week on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, the girls go to Vegas, and Jen lands in hot water with Zac after Jessi takes the girls to a Chippendales show.  Will #MomTok be able to survive this?  Check us out on Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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bright creatures by Shelby van Pelt. Find what piques your imagination. Sign up for a free 30-day Audible trial and your first audiobook is free. Visit audible.ca to sign up. And Away We Go with Georgia King is a brand new travel podcast only on Wondery+. Each week, celebrity tour guides will whisk you away to their favorite places in the world with intimate, hilarious, heartwarming conversations that remind us of the power of travel to bring us together. Listen to And Away We Go with Georgia King exclusively with Wondry Plus. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the hilarious and

lovable Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Well, hello Ben. How are you? What a lovely day to see you. What a lovely day to see you too. In fact, I just saw you in person because we both recorded an episode of Jeff Lewis live. Although by the time you hear this recap, it may be many days later. But that was a very fun experience. And now we are here to talk secret lives of Mormon wives episode 6 big controversial trip to Vegas and also by the way Ronnie is recording from the middle of a construction zone so you may hear a drill or a hammer here and there and you know what don't hold it against Ronnie yes guys i know it's unprofessional here's the thing I would have gone to Ben's house today but they are doing some brickwork and I got it if you mess up brickwork you're fucked oh what are you gonna do just what's the brickwork is it walkway

or is it a wall or the fireplace oh yeah I just had that like a million times they're breaking your fireplace today breaking the fireplace and I'm gonna put the TV on the brick above the fire and I know that you're not supposed to do that. I know you're not gonna like it. You hate that. But you know what? I have to put it somewhere and that's just where it's gonna go. So everybody just calm down. The point is it's gonna be noisy. But actually, guess what? It's not gonna be noisy. Guess who just came back with Subway. His name is Jose. You're my hero. All right, Jose's coming. We've got an hour. Let's knock this out. We've got an hour to talk about Mormons. Okay, everyone. Let's just let's skip the small talk. Well, we are

going to dive in though. It's episode six, the first book of sin. And we are back in Provo, Utah. And we're at Conrad Whitney's house, and they're getting ready for church. And Whitney has put on her most daring pioneer dress yet with bigger, bigger shoulder puffs than ever before. And Conor is doing that thing. Are you trying to get into heaven? Is it an outfit for heaven day?

What are you? And don't tell me you can't make fun of someone's religion. I'm not making fun of someone's religion. I'm making fun of the fact that someone is cosplaying as a wagon, riding, you know, pioneer, what'd you call them? Pioneers. I'm to your, all the Sarah plan and tall.

Frontier woman acting like you just arrived on a donkey, you know, after five months of travel, I'm not buying it. Yeah. Okay. And you don't get away with all your shit just because you're dressing religiously, whatever you're doing. No God would excuse those sleeves. And also Connor, it's like Connor's dressed like that kid who can't get dressed. He's wearing a tie. It's like the tie is popping up from behind the collar, the back.

It's like, have you ever even put on formal clothes before Connor? Well, he's cosplaying to, you know, he's always, he's always stressing like something different. Maybe that's the thing. Maybe that's their kink. You know, he's like today I'm a student in school on picture day. And Whitney's like, great. I'm a pioneer lady, you know, who just came over in the wagon let's do this yeah they very much are doing that

and then we see Taylor in Dakota Taylor's getting an ultrasound and the ultrasound tech lady says the baby is getting chunky cheeks well which I would hope I mean I don't know if we see too many babies with high cheekbones so like I'm so sorry. Your baby has chunky cheeks. We were really hoping for a little Johnny Depp indent, but unfortunately, would you like us to remove the buccal fat before the baby's born? Yeah, really?

Your baby is in the fetal position. Would you like us to slip a tiny little back brace up there? You know, you don't want a baby with bad posture and chubby cheeks. And now we wind up at Jizz Styles, which is Jesse's hair salon and Jesse and Jan and Macy and Laila and Michaela and Demi, they're all getting their hair done. So Laila, Laila announces that they're there to get their hair done. And it's honestly so nice having a best friend that owns a salon because I take full advantage of the fact that I don't have to wash my hair on my own. I don't want to say that. I'm like, it's OK.

You guys are in her salon every other episode. We know what this relationship is all about. So, Jesse is to blame for all of this because here's what I can say. All of these girls are going to have neck problems. That is too much hair. There comes a point where you have to say, this is too much hair on my head. Nobody is going to believe that you are wearing a full cast of muppets on your head. I mean, how much does that shit weigh? How are you guys walking around with that on your head? It's ridiculous. So Michaela says, it's great to get together, but I don't think anyone's heard from a Whitney since Laila's divorce party. And I could tell that she was upset because of what Jesse said to her. And

we see a flashback of Jesse telling Whitney, like everyone has a problem on their own. And basically, no one's talked to her whatsoever. And Macy's like, I'm really happy that Whitney came to the event because like, I want the group just to be happy and whole. But like, I'm so glad she came to like, try to make a message Jesse, but like, mom talk just wouldn't be mom talk without Whitney. And Demi is like, Oh, yeah, just like be like, you're a bitch and move on. Like, why can't we just do that? Find common ground? Figure it out. Move on. Yeah. And just like, yeah, well, she

hasn't blocked me yet. So I never said, Oh, my god, wait, what? Who'd she block? And just like, yeah, well, she hasn't blocked me yet. So I never was like, oh, my God, wait, why would she block? And just like, let me see if she blocked me. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. She didn't block me. But guess what, guys, in this two seconds, I've looked on my phone. I can tell you this much. She's unfollowed every single one of us.

No, she did not. That's crazy. And everyone like all I've been a flick, though, wait, she did not. That's crazy. And everyone's been a flick though, wait till she finds out that's a huge lie. Jen's like, she left a group message. She's she unfollowed us on Instagram. It's actually ridiculous. I'm like, actually, what will be ridiculous is gonna happen later on in the episode involves you and your husband, but that's fine. So Demi is like, Oh my god, she unfollowed me again.

No, she did not. That's wild. Did she not tell you that she did that? Oh my God. This is why I don't believe you guys. This is crazy. And Macy's like, Oh my God. Like I knew that she was impulsive, but like I'm following everybody.

I've never known her to be this impulsive before. Like, can you get it? Can you get a WD 40 on someone is this impulsive before. Like can you get a WD-40 on someone who's this impulsive? Because like seriously I'm gonna call one in on her. You're gonna call on a WD-40. I always forget to get a breeze. Get the dust blown off of her. Like we have some dust particles on electrical circuits, can we call on a WD-40 on Whitney? Isn't wd-40 oil that you put in the creaky door I think wd-40 was that little can so I go pair in a can that would be were you talking about a 5950 whatever you

call when people are kind of losing it and you have to have them institutionalized for a bit. Um, so Jen is like, Jen goes, I mean, I'm sorry, are we in like high school? I'm like, you're 19 years old. I mean, like you're acting like you are like, have like a few decades under your belt from high school. You guys like, I can still smell the mortar board on your head. You're all giggling together, washing your hair together, and looking to see who's unfollowed you on Instagram. So yeah, I don't think any of you are going to win the adulting awards today.

Yeah. Your life is based off of doing little cute dances on social media. So let's not act like you're out there getting a Rhodes Scholarship. What a life. And I love that this is such a workplace comedy. Whenever they're like, oh my God, here we are, but we also work guys, guys, let's do an elbow dance. They're like, elbows, elbows.

We're grown ass adults. We're mothers. Unfollow. And Jesse's like, but is she like just going to like not talk to us? I mean, it's because yeah, I have like no idea what she's gonna do. Like, wow, we've got a lot of stuff going on. And Michaela's like, whatever, I don't even want to talk about it. Because she probably enjoys us sitting around here talking

about it. I was like, Oh, okay, Michaela, until you see until you see your name. Hi, how are you? We don't have it all the evil things you say about other people. So then they're just overweight me. So then we get the blue jacket opening and the did it. Did it did it did it did it did it. You toxic.

And now let's go to jizz Academy for Jesse's party. I am like so excited to bring all the girls together tonight and like I am hosting a party in honor of something that we are saying goodbye to and I'm really excited to see all of their reactions. So they all the everyone's showing up at say there are a lot of mocktails out and about and there's like drinks this one called like the pink pussy. Oh my god. And it's like really scandalous already.

And I think this was like committee because one is the pink pussy, which is like super dirty. And then the next one is labia licious, also dirty. And then peach on the beach. Like that was for Jen Affleck. Yeah. She's like, I get so mad at me if I have a labia drink. Can I have more innocent? We had to name one of the mocktails beach on the beach, because otherwise Zach was going to divorce. Jan, if you found out that she drank a labia licious.

So they're going to have a painting party about vaginas because Montauk is all about sisterhood, femininity and unfollowing bitches you don't like. So let's talk about Snipping My Vag. And they're like, oh my God. And yeah, she's gonna get a, Jessie is gonna get a labiaplasty, which I mean, naturally, if you get a labiaplasty,

of course you gather eight of your closest friends and make everyone draw a vagina to honor the end of that, that lip. So it makes sense to me. And she's talking about, uh, uh, what it is. And it's basically like the lips, I guess, get too big or something after two kids. And so you like snip them and put them back into play. I just want my neck done. Can I just get my neck? Can I just get my waddle off? Can I get a labiaplasty on my waddle?

You never know. So, Jesse's just talking about like how she's like, you know, I just thought it'd be like really cute if you guys each drew what your perfect vagina looks like to give me inspo. I just think it'll be really fun. Okay, I'm not gonna lie. This is just an event to make Jen uncomfortable. So everyone just look at it right now. Yeah. So they're like drawing their dream vaginas. I drew my dream vagina. It was a penis. Just to play along. Just to play along with the ladies turns out to be a penis. So that was fun. Fun game. Glad I came. I love it. Yeah. So Jesse's talking about, you know, there's basically they're just literally talking about a vagina for a very long time. And Jesse's like, yeah, like my meat curtains, they just like hang

low and they're just like, you know, wow. And then Michaela's like, what is a meat curtain, you guys? This is crazy. She's like, is that not the term? Is that not the medical term? Like, you know, your lips, every know your lips. Oh my God. Now she's calling them lips. You guys. Yeah. And I never really understood the term meat curtains. My friend actually was called that, which she was so upset, which once I found out what they are, I mean, that's rude to call that, to say that about somebody. And then she looked them up online and showed me.

I just, I think there should be like a nicer name than Meat Curtains. I mean, that's horrible. Meat Draperies, Meat Draperies. Just not meat. I mean, Meat Curtains, I think of like shows where they walk into the butcher's fridge and there's like lines of like dead cattle hanging up there.

It's like a meat curtain, you know, you have to like wag you curtains. No, how about just like lengthy labias? How about that? Just something simple? Labia. What about something like a fleshy canyon? A fleshy canyon? A fleshy canyon? I guess that's more of like the entire, that's more of like the entire region.

How about like- What's a droopy flower? What's a flower that droops? Do tulips droop? Which are the ones that are like kind of like, I don't know flowers, I'm not a flower gay, but I think they're tulips? Well, tulips. Well, two lips. I think they say that actually comes up. They do come. That does come up at some point. Yeah, the tulips. She's like, I got you two lips for your two lamps.

They're like, oh, my God, tulips for the tulips. They sound the same. Is that funny to anybody else? Because like tulips sounds like tulips and that's a flower to you guys. Is it just me? I also brought you two rib eyes for your meat curtains. It's like, okay. Well, thanks. Um, so she's talking about this a lot. And then, um, she's like, yeah. And since Whitney started and following us, she's not coming to Vegas. I think we have a chance of having a good time

now that we're cutting out the meat curtain that is Whitney. You see what I did there? gambling, which are things that typical members don't do on a daily basis. Or at least they just don't tell you, Layla. Maybe behind closed doors, but like I'm just like buckling up and hoping for the best. Also though, fucking Jizz is a sinner from hell. Okay, here's the thing with Jizz. She's trying to get you all into the outer darkness. First she showed up to the hot tub with her boyfriend trying to put liquor onto everybody. Even when you guys were saying no, she's like, really, really don't you want liquor?

And Barney Rubble's like, hey, good, don't you want some shots? We need shots with this. And now she's taking you all to Vegas and now she's going to try and get you in trouble at a Magic Mike show. Jizz is a plant and she's working for a person named Satan. Do not listen to Jizz if you want to go up into the planet with all the other people in your family or whatever, whatever y'all believe in, don't listen to Jizz. She's taking you to hell on purpose.

She's comes from the outer darkness. Beware. So, um, then they're joking about like, do you guys have a name for like your, your man schlong and then Jen, it turns out Jen has named Zach's dick, Poncho, and everyone's like, Poncho? And then Demi's like, for the whitest man ever. And then they're all like laughing and giggling. I'm like, you're gonna get, he's gonna divorce you now.

I guarantee you, you said too much about Zach's wee-wee. And I don't understand why you would call it poncho. I mean, ponchos are comforting. You know what I mean? I don't see that in Zach. Yeah, I definitely don't see that in Zach. And I definitely don't anticipate that he has enough of a dick to even really like fit into a poncho.

Yeah. Based on his energy. based on his energy based on his energy. So then now we get to see everyone's paintings and Jen's is her vagina is called Mother vulva. And it has like a lady Teresa vibe to it. Yeah, and they all just they all have these vagina paintings, some better than others, which is also what my mom said about my subsack recently. My mom goes, Oh, I've been reading

your subsack. You know, some are better than others. I was like, what does that mean? Which one suck? I don't know. But it was my mom's way of saying I didn't like the last one. That's why I suspect, you know, some are better than mom's way of saying I didn't like the last one. That's what I suspect. You know, some are better than others. I can tell which ones you had more time for. Thanks mom. It's like a warm hug. Yes.

That's our my mom is like the filter is just completely gone. You know, yes. So anyway, they are showing these paintings and everything and it's just completely gone, you know? Yes. So anyway, they are showing these paintings and everything and it's just, it goes on for a little bit. It's funny, they put up like text on the screen to make it look like it's like the placard that goes next to a painting in a museum. It's all very clever and amusing.

Yeah, so it's just like a bunch of paintings of Paris. Like I know it's there, but I've never been there. It just seems like so much trouble to go there. Yeah. It's probably, but it just seems so difficult. Now we move out of this scene and we go to Taylor, walking up to her mother, Leanne's house and Leanne opens the door and she's like,

oh, so where's Dakota? And she goes, he didn't want to come, so his loss. She goes, oh yeah, really, I was about to pull out some extra Totino pizza rolls for him, so truly his loss. So what's going on, honey? She's like, same shit, different day. Yeah, and Leanne has that look of a completely unsurprised mother.

She's like, well, can't wait to babysit another child while you guys are fighting. Thanks for coming by. And Taylor's talking about how vulnerable she is and the fact that she has to still argue and bicker with this guy when she's like a second away from delivering. Like he has no sensitivity. We all know this and really we all know the only solution

to this and that is getting in a car and walking away. But well, you don't walk away in a car. You know what I mean? You drive away. But still, we all know that that's a solution. I get that like you're young, you're pregnant. It's not as easy as just getting in a car. I'm not gonna, you know, badger the woman,

but God, just please figure out a way. You're gonna do it eventually. Just do it now, you know, rip off the band-aid. Truly. So Taylor tells her mom, he's like, I want you to give in to me. I want you to surrender. And like, why would I surrender? I don't even trust you. And Leanne nods and is like, yes, honey, just let me know when I should shame you for having a baby with him. So she goes, she says like, you know, there's definitely pressure

in the Mormon community of getting married, especially when you get pregnant out of wedlock. But like Dakota's like, you're pregnant with my child and you still won't like give me this? Like, yes. So like, if I won't give a child, like if it's, so in his head, if a child won't do it, then what will? So they are going in circles, obviously on this point.

And so, Leanne's like, oh my God, he's texting you right now, call him. I want to talk to him. I'm like, oh, I love this Leanne just wanting to confront everybody that has a problem with Taylor. It's kind of, she does. She does want her call. It's like my mom going to tell off my,

one of the kids who was like fucking with me when I was a little kid. She's like, if going to tell off my one of the kids who's like fucking with me when I was a little kid. She's like, if you ever fuck with my kid again, you're dead. You got it. The. So Taylor calls and he it's, it goes to voicemail. Cause she's like, she's like, he's not gonna answer. And then Leanne's like, no, I'll answer.

But it goes to voicemail. So the land goes, okay. Oh, no. Then then Dakota Texan says, I'm not going to answer. So then Leanne's like, no, I'll answer, but it goes to voicemail. So Leanne goes, OK. No, then Dakota Texan says, I'm not going to answer. So then Leanne says, OK, well, say I'm going into labor, and then he'll call you right back. Texan, come on, say I'm going to labor. I was like, you are a monster, too.

Like, of course. Of course, Leanne. Of course, Taylor's mom is a disaster. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Are you in trouble with the law? Need a lawyer who'll fight like hell to keep you out of jail? We defend and we fight just like you'd want your own children defended.

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Follow Criminal Attorney on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Criminal Attorney early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. So she texts, I think I'm going into labor, your loss. And she's like, Oh my God, he's calling me. It totally worked, mom. Guys, this is the worst. This is not healthy. This is not a healthy way to build a relationship. Taylor's like, I just don't know if I can trust him.

Okay, by the way, I'm going into labor, just kidding, thanks for calling me. I just needed to get you on the phone. So they've, yeah, I know. That's what I do with my Uber site. So they get him on the phone and he's pissed when it's really Leanne. He's like, oh my God. She's like, why aren't you answering the phone when your wife is pregnant?

She he's like, dude, is Taylor going to labor or not? I'm with my bros right now. And Leanne's like, well, I don't know. I'm just trying to call you and you're not even answering. Like that's like, that's not cool. Cause yeah, well, you know the story, the boy who cried wolf, right? And they're like, not familiar. I haven't heard of it. You know, you know, the boy and the wolf and no, no, you know the story, the boy who cried wolf, right? And they're like, not familiar. I haven't heard of it.

You know, you know, the boy, the wolf and now, you know, we don't read. What's that? What's it about? Well, it's a guy, it's this boy who's always like, there's a wolf, there's a wolf. And they always come to save it. I'm bored already. I'm bored. It's a book. Sorry. Could you do this in like TikTok form? Yeah, well, okay. I'll try. Oh, I see that elbow choreography.

Oh, mom means that you shouldn't call because if you call with an emergency too much, when it really is an emergency, he's not going to believe you. That's actually really good. The things a box step can tell you. And Leanne and Leanne is like, she's like, no, well, I'm, but it's not boy who cried wolf because I'm only doing this today. It's like a one, it's a one off boy who cried wolf and he goes, okay, I just wanted to make sure you knew that story.

She's like, yeah, well, I know the story of the deadbeat liar. Who's not here for his wire, his wannabe wife. When she's about to drop the baby. He's like, well, it's your daughter's fault. Cause she didn't want me to go. So why would I go? She doesn't want me to go. Well, I want you to come here.

I want to talk to you guys. Both of you need to work on this. But like, I just like, I want to be all in with her and she doesn't want to be all in with me. So like, I'm going to be all in, but she's not going to be all in. Like, what am I supposed to do? Be all in alone? I can't just be all in alone. Like who does that?

Well, it's just, it's not about you and Taylor anymore. And I tell Taylor this just as much. It's about you, Taylor and me. Okay. And I guess the baby and you guys need to do things, you know, for your baby and try to work on your relationship and your family and everything that comes with having a kid, you know, like, I don't know, maybe do some exercises so your eyes don't bulge quite as much. And he's like, but I've been like working so hard. Does he have a job? I'm not sure.

Why do I feel like he does not have a job? Why do I feel like I get terminated? I get not have a job vibe from him because also what I don't know, I was going to speculate on facial hair, but I'm not sure. It just seems like everyone else is so clean cut and he's not. So I don't know what that means. I mean, I'm sure maybe they have some blockbusters around there. He could, he could work. He could work on finding, but uh, keeping it current guys, let's keep it current. So he's like, Oh, I just, I want this to work more than anything in the world. And it's like you guys need to get your crap together. This is just a mom doing tough mom talks. See

what I did there. That wasn't even on purpose. I should totally get a vibrator deal. And Dakota goes, Yeah, well, you just tell your daughter she needs to either commit to me or just end this because I can't keep doing this like or you can just be patient with this girl. Because she's pregnant and she has other things to deal with than your tantrums. And Taylor says I'm just like not ready to marry Dakota. But at the same time,

like, I don't want to be divorced, be the divorce single mom. So I just feel like kind of torn in the middle. I'm like frustrated. I'm exhausted. I'm tired. I just like, don't have the tolerance right now. So, um, again, I got, it's better to be a Mary, you know, it's better to be a mom with like another child. Like this guy is not going to do you any good having this guy around when you're frustrated. You think he's going to get up and take care of that baby. Doubtful, doubtful. Yeah. You don't want to be a divorced single mom. Single mom. Um, again, things to think about people. I cannot stress enough.

Think about your decisions. Okay. Before you go too far down a path. So, um, now it's time. Now we go back to Jesus house and she's had her labiaplasty. And so now Jen and Layla are going to come to visit. And they're like, how's your how's your cooch doing? And she's like, Oh, it's good. It's really good. Um, and she's, she also got a breast reduction while she was there. So she could sort of do a one stop shops sort of situation.

This girl's just getting everything done. I like it. Like here's my list, you know. So they did. And she goes, Yeah, you know, now I only have to my list, you know. So they did. And she goes, Yeah, you know, now I only have to go under anesthesia once. So got them both done. And they're asking her about recovery. And she's like, Oh, it's like having a baby, you know, six weeks of like bleeding, but has been super heavy. I mean, what are you going to do? Am I right? Jen's like, how long do you have to wait until I until you have sex? Because oh, like four to six weeks, really, Zach would divorce me if it was anything longer than two weeks.

But like, yeah, that she's like, yeah, well, it's just like having a baby. So anyway, yeah, like Jordan's just like dying. He's like, so the doctor said four to six weeks, but what do your dentist say? Okay, Jen, just think about it. I can see you're confused. All right. Give Jen about 10 seconds. Is it plaque? Well, he said I would get a plaque for my service if that helps. Oh, got it, nailed it. So then she's like, it means a blow job, Jen, Jesus Christ. You've got a lot to learn to get to the outer darkness.

So then Demi's like, whoa, I was knocking for you to open but then I realized that your vagina is gone, so you probably can't walk through the door. She was like, yeah, it's out, it's gone. I don't have any more. And this is where Demi brings out two lips. She goes, I got you some two lips for your two lips. Oh my God, I can't believe she would make that joke

in front of Dakota. Like Dakota's gonna be watching this show and he felt so uncomfortable when Demi made that joke. She is so awful So Jesse's like wow, it was a brutal they talk about her surgery and like how much it hurts Okay, so then she's like, oh, yeah, but that aside let's go to Vegas. No, listen. Oh my god Just drop the camera guys Mutual but we're going to Vegas and

Jesse's like yeah, I mean I'm gonna be on painkillers for a few days But so is how so I have two people in Vegas. And Jesse's like, yeah, I mean, I'm going to be on painkillers for a few days, but so is how, so we're half the people in Vegas. Am I right? I mean, I think this week it'll be like a really okay. So they looked at like an Airbnb and everything. It's going to be like really fun and they're going to have a fun time.

And it'll be Layla's first time ever going to Vegas. And there's no way that this is going to end well. Oh my God. No, don't do it. So then, um, to me is like, can you believe it? Like, um, like she just literally became legal last year and, uh, Jesse's like, yeah, getting divorced in the church is kind of like having a Scarlet letter and Utah can be very suffocating. So Vegas is the perfect place for later to let loose and have a little fun.

But what about Taylor? So they're saying like Taylor is going to come and Zach is Jen says, Oh, by the way, Zach is driving with Dakota. And they're like, I mean, the man coming on the girls trip. This is classic housewives. No, no, I cannot believe they're allowing this. Come on. Like I will, I actually will give annoyingly a pass to Dakota because Taylor is super pregnant. And so like I get it if he's like, I just want to be around in case she goes into labor.

That makes sense. Zach makes no sense. I do not understand why Zach is there. There's no good reason for him to be there. Addiction. So Jesse's like, this is there. There's no good reason for him to be there. Addiction. So Jesse's like, um, this is bullshit and they just want to be there to see their women be in check. Like keep their women in line, you know? And yeah, probably true. Uh, but also these,

one of them we finds out has probably a gambling addiction. I don't know. But it seems like he has a kind of a gambling addiction. And the other one is psyched for any chance to go to Vegas. I don't think any of us are shocked. The other one is a disaster. So, um, pupils have already been living in Vegas for years. I mean, his pupils are essentially roulette wheels already. So let's just look at them. There's just, pet him black, pet him black. So yeah, then Jessie shows everyone her new vagina. They're like, wow. And one said that they looked like hot dog buns. So that could be it.

Like Ronnie, like your hot dog buns. That's nicer than meat curtain. That's definitely the most attractive way I've ever heard of a giant man described. It's like, it looks just like a wiener schnitzel. Boom, I'm in. Hand me some mustard. I'm basically a heterosexual male. Now Demi is packing or Demi, I keep calling her Demi but I think it's Demi.

I honestly don't remember. And they're just like getting ready and everything. And she's like laughing with Brett, her man. And then Macy's packing, everyone's just packing and getting ready. And we go back to Brett and Demi and Brett's like, my only question is why would you go out looking for hamburger meat when you can have steak dinner at home?

And she's like, yeah, ha ha. But I'm not looking to take anyone home. And she's like, yeah, but I'm not looking to take anyone home. And he's like, well, do whatever you want. I'm not worried about you. Just go with your gut. So he's like a good husband because he's like, whatever. Well, he's the old one. He was like, girl, you're 20 something years younger than me.

Just please go have fun. I'm literally exhausted, okay? I'm gonna be here sleeping and watching Kathy Bates and matlock You go you go have a good time So then we go to Jen and Zach's house and she's like, so how would you feel if we went to Magic Mike and he goes? What would you want to do that? Is that what you want to do? She goes no I just think it would like be like funny and he goes Oh, yeah being divorced and taking care of two kids would be kind of tough though.

So I guess that's your decision. Um, believe it. Oh, really? Uh, you're going to be paying for your own school as your dad suddenly coming through with some money for you to pay that school. I mean, you don't get to use someone and then also fucking control and bash them. This guy is such a piece of shit. Oh my god. And it's amazing how these shitty guys you can call them from a mile away. Isn't it? Like, yeah,

this guy's, this guy is just awful. He's like, the set. I mean, the way he is so threatened by the conflict, the mere idea that she would go to this show, which is basically like a show. When it comes to strip clubs that men go to, Magic Mike is so rated G. It's like hot guys dancing around, but it's basically like a dance show. And the fact that he is so threatened just is so repulsive. I don't even think it's that he's threatened. I think that he's like, wow, you know that

that would be something that I would consider a sin and not like, and the fact that you're blatantly asking, you know, oh, it's just such control and listen, I know it sounds like I'm saying like controlling abusive man a lot in these recaps. Guess why? If you, if you're in a position where you're like, you know what, I'm going to just go ahead and go with the thought that a man has control over me and that only the man has all these powers and rights.

Yeah, you're gonna get a lot of controlling asshole men because that's how they're raised and they can get away with this shit. It's absolutely fucking disgusting. I don't even wanna go save Taylor anymore. I wanna go over there in a fucking minivan and just start loading them in. Just fill the car with some girls with names off of a white girl keychain rack at a park and just start taking them in.

Yeah. Yeah, these guys are terrible. And the fact that like Jen also like she has to immediately hedge when she's like, how would you feel about going to Magic Micons? And he's like, why? And he, she goes, oh no, I mean, I just, I thought it would be like a funny thing. If we end up doing it, it's like, why are you hedging? Just say, oh, because we're in Vegas. We might do it. It's not anything real. Why don't get all, don't get all, you know, bothered about it. It's like nothing, but I'm just letting you know I'm going because I'm being respectful. I don't even have to tell you I'm going.

Yeah. So then all the other girls are talking about it. And Demi is like, well, Taylor's going, like, and then Dakota, you know, Dakota's going to come and like, he hasn't been very happy in the past. And then they may see and Jacob are talking about them. By the way, Jacob, so cute. Here's what I want from a husband, Jacob. Nice, supportive and quiet. Okay. very cute. Looks good in the sweater. That's really all you need to be.

All the husbands who are wondering like, what can I do without being called a fucking abusive asshole? What this guy's doing. You just stand there, you smile, and you say, whatever you need, honey, how can I support you? That's how to do it.

Then we go back to Jen and her man, Gary Abusi, and he's like, Jen, I wanna show you some of my outfits for this trip this weekend. Gary Abusey. I did. Oh, my God. That's funny. emotional, emotional, not physical. But because he really does kind of look like Gary Busey, like young Gary Busey with those big teeth, that blonde hair. Yeah, I've seen the Gary. I've seen people call him Gary abusey, which I

think is so because there's so many things you know, like any bleach blonde white guy, you can it's like a Draco Malfoy or you know, the guy from area, you know, the Targaryens. Yeah, but Gary abusey takes it to any level. Wow. One little vowel can do, you know, yeah, one bell can change a world. Really can. So he's like, yeah, oh, by the way, like, yeah, you're not allowed to go, you're not allowed to go to a theater with 500 other women

and sit a respectable distance from naked men. Anyway, I'm gonna go gamble our money away because God would like that. So this is my lucky poker sweater. You can zip it down when you're just playing and if you're hot, you know, if you're hot hot when you're playing but then if it gets like really intense And if you're super white like me and like the one drop of blood gets close to your head and your entire neck turns red You can zip it up

So no one can tell that you're really excited about your hand and she's like, um, who said you're playing poker? He says well, I mean you told me that you going to give me a bankroll so I could play. How are you not embarrassed, sir? How are you not, especially in this culture where it's like, oh, the man takes care of everything. The man does everything. You're being supported and now you're asking for allowance and it's to sin. While you're being a hypocrite about her going to like see other people saying you are such a little piece of shit.

And she's like, well, um, uh, so the producer's like, so does that gambling situation, is it okay to talk about it? And she's like, well, sure. I mean, I guess it's like, as long as we make sure we're not talking about it, like he's an addict or something. He has a lucky poker sweater. That's he's an addict. And he's like Googling how to not show his vein

on the side of his neck, throbbing as he loses. Yeah, he's an addict. I'll tell you that right now. His face was already turning red at the mere thought of playing poker. Poncho was sticking out of the pants just by saying full house. So, uh, Jen's like, okay, well, I'm gonna be $2,500 and I'm going to be really pissed if you lose it.

Because if I lose it then then you can never gamble again. He goes, well, then I won't gamble for the rest of the year. So see, you're the guys got a fucking issue. Uh oh, done, done, done. She's got a fucking issue. Uh-oh. Dun, dun, dun. So then Jen's like, yeah, I'm having a hard time in the relationship with her. And then we see clips of him just being an absolute asshole. She's saying, what is this? Cut to a clip of her saying, she would appreciate his help. And he's like, sweetie.

And then pulling her shirt up in the middle of and he's like, sweetie. And then pulling her shirt up in the middle of the conversation, like her shirt was too low cut. Oh God. And then she's like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I'm wearing too low cut of a shirt. I hate it. That can be a bit controlling, but to be honest, I don't think I've ever met anyone who loves me more than he does. He only controls me because he loves me. And it's my fault. I'm the one who sets them off. Yep. That's like the typical thing we hear over and over, you know, for people who've been around a long time, if you're just hearing this kind of stuff for the first time,

you're going to hear it a lot from dicks like this, cause they all follow the same playbook, you know? Yep. I only hurt you because I love you that much. No one else would even care if you were out sitting. You just make me so angry sometimes. So Zach is saying, this is his first time gambling in six months. So yeah, that's also a sin to lie to your wife like that.

commercials, here comes one right now. So then we go back to Macy and Jacob talking about it and they're annoyed that the guys are coming and Jacob's like, well, if you need me to go down, I can, cause if I can go, then I can just make sure that they're behaving. She's like, no, okay. You need to stay here and back box up the prenatal gummies. OK, maybe mama, baby mama needs to get packed. So Jen and Zach.

Oh, so we're back at Jen and Zach's house. There's a knock at the door. And here comes Taylor, Taylor, who it seemed like she was not going to come on the trip. So she shows up. She's wearing the same outfit that you wore at her mom's house. Not sure if this is the same day or not. And so, Janet Taylor's like, Oh my God, we got into a pretty big fight before we came here. Can we close the door? I'm like, hold. So anyway, he's like always pouting. So I'm like, I just feel like it's so repetitive of like, of making him feel better. And if it's like. So anyway, he's like always pouting. So I'm like, I just feel like it's so repetitive of like, of making him feel better. And if it's like, not today, it's like in two more days, just like there's nothing I can do

for you anymore. And he's like, well, you just don't care. Like you're not even helping me through this. I'm just like, I don't know how to help you. Yeah, basically, she's gonna have a baby any second. And he's walking around like, I'm depressed and pouting. And she's like, Hello. I'm the one who's the one training here. Like, I'm the one with more hormones than usual right now. I'm the one carrying a baby. So she finally just left his ass and they're like, Oh my God, you left him. That's hilarious. And Taylor's like,

yeah, I said, get out of my car. And then I was like, come get your stuff. And Jen's just looking shocked, like, oh my God, how in the world did you get away with all of this, right? So then she was like, he did send me a text and he was like, I'm sorry, like, I don't know what's going on. I just feel so broken and lost right now. I don't know how to control my emotions. So I don't know. So yeah, because Taylor threw all this shit out of her car, which goes to show that she's

been like very chill on the show. But we know like trash box Taylor is still there, which, by the way, deservedly. So this is a good use of trash boxing, I want to say. Taylor's, I mean, Dakota's a piece of shit. So Taylor is just saying that she's really fed up and she's really pregnant. Like, how are they still fighting like this? Like so far along into the pregnancy. So then Dakota shows up and then they, um, like Jen and Zach are like, okay, well, do you guys want to like, you guys want to like go, we should hit the road, right? Like, I know you guys are having a fight, but like, we're kind of behind schedule. And Zach says, if he doesn't get onto the craps table in four hours, he's going to just divorce me. So can we please get this going? Thanks.

And now is officially a pattern where these two are just in it for the attention from every single person around them. This is one of those couples that I just can't, I can't with people. They need an audience at all times. She's like, I left him. So then he shows up. Now they're like, Yeah, now we're gonna fight in front of you guys. Like, fuck off, you guys do this at home. Like, it's ridiculous. Stop taking every group event to be about your fucking drama. So annoying.

Yeah. So then they have a talk. And, you know, Dakota's like, well, you know, I obviously I'm like, I have a lot of frustration inside of me and the way I feel is like, I just get really lost and confused and I just don't feel like I should feel confused. And she's like, well, what you lost and confused about? I was like, oh, it's like, I don't want to feel this way. Like I feel like I shouldn't have to feel this way. And I just feel like we have, you know, those bags that we're like on a team.

And Zach's like, ah, we'll give you guys some time. No, sit down. Here's the playbill. I just really need you. You know, like I'm just so broke down. You know, that's why I broke today. She goes, OK, well, I understand you're struggling. It's like, yeah, because like, obviously, like I've got frustration because like when it feels like like lost and like confused,

like, I don't think I should feel confused. Can I get a special do you guys have any like lighting in here because I really feel like this isn't working for me. Can I get a spot I'm about to do a thing. Okay, I just don't want to feel this way like I feel like I should have to feel this way like I want to feel like we have each other's backs like we're on a team and sometimes it feels like we're not teammates. We're just like not like we have each other's backs like we're on a team and sometimes it feels like we're not teammates

We're just like not like we're just like not teammates. She's like well, but I don't know what else you want from me Oh fuck off you wuss and a teammate would say you know what you are about to pop with my child I'm gonna not fight with you for a while. Even if I'm wrong and I'm right. How about that? You, you're, you're a terrible teammate. Okay. That's why you're not on any, sir. Yeah. And she's basically like, Taylor just reasserts that she just wants to wait

until she's ready because she has all these issues and she says like, you know, I feel like we have good days and then we start over and there's something new. It's hard to like give into someone when you're just going to backtrack every few days and goes, well, then I don't know. I mean, I don't know. And then Zach and Jen sort of come back from downstairs like, yeah, so we really need to get to Vegas. So we've decided that we would be willing to listen to you guys fight in the car if that's okay. And as long as Jen, as long as we get to put Jen in the way way way back, is that okay? Is that cool with everyone?

Zach's like, Don't worry, guys, you got a lot of time to hash it out. Okay. And then we're gonna run some blackjack. So blackjack drills. Have you ever done this? No, do that next time we go to Vegas. It's like, well there's a certain way to play where you learn what to hit on and what to stay on and all that stuff. It's like a formula. So you have to do drills. Like, okay, you got an ace 10. Keep it. You got a, you know, king 10. Keep it. You got a three eight. Keep it.

You got a five four. don't keep it. I'll see. What is this? Is this a blackjack drill or is this an advertisement for Ira Madison the third? What do you keep it? That's funny. Keep it podcast. Trying Ira Madison. We love him. You know him. Go give it a listen. Hi, Ira. So Dakota, they basically are gonna jump in the car and everything. And Dakota's like, I just I love you so much. And that's like my whole issue that I care. I care way too much. Oh, what a hero. You know, Ronnie, if I had realized all along that Dakota was just a hero. I probably would. I probably would have. You know what?

It's just because he cares. Like, his whole issue, like the whole reason he treats you like shit is because he cares too much. You know, it's rough to hear this. And also the template of people needs to change. It's just like so obvious at this point, you know? Like we see it every time, the same exact guy behavior. Yeah.

So then Jen's like, Oh my God, like their relationship started off Rocky and like, I don't want to like jump to conclusions. Well, I don't really want to jump. I mean, unless that tells me to, of course. Yeah, I definitely think there's a lot of pressure on them to get married. So now they're in their car. Jen is like basically Zach is driving Dakota and Taylor are in the back seats and then there's like a crate of chickens and Like I don't know like stacks of Costco items some toilet paper

Like an old mannequin there's like so much and then in the way way way way way back is Jen like her head popping up over like an egg carton and she's like hi guys yeah I'm still on the trip here with you guys so they keep talking about their fighting and stuff in front of them and Dakota's like Taylor says you see how we fight and then we're good the next moment like is that normal and Dakota's like no it like, uh, no, it's a cycle. Like we're, we just need to break the cycle. Jen goes, yeah, that's called a toxic relationship. I'm just kidding. Was that my words again? I'm so sorry. Zach, we had not to ever use that. God, just let that go. God, I'm so sorry, guys. So they're just saying that they're just hoping that they can break the cycle.

So now the girls are arriving, the other girls are arriving at their Airbnb, which looks like any one of their houses. And they're like, Oh my God, like, this is like so nice. It's like, Oh my God, this is so cute. There's like a living room and there's like a refrigerator. This is like so cute. They went so far to find another farmhouse, modern farmhouse. I was like, Oh my God, you guys found another open kitchen with white oak. This is crazy.

So they are going to put like, they want to put a sign up on the door that says pussies only or no, how about like vaginas only exactly? Labia's only. So we put peaches only maybe. So Jen don't want to get in trouble, Zach. So yeah, they just are like, don't want to have those girls there. I'm the boys there. So they put up a sign that says labia's only and Jesse's like, I just think it's really disrespectful

that I planned this girl trip. And they like didn't even ask me if they could come. They just invited themselves. So like no boy is allowed in the house. Like that's my one rule. So this is my trip. I'm like, okay, enjoy that as the boys come into your house in three, two, one.

Yeah. And of course Dakota's like, Hey, what lady is I'm going in. That's ridiculous. I'd still get to go in there. Like, what did I do? I'm just trying to come in cause I I'd still get to go in there. Like what did I do? I'm just trying to come in because I love you so much. Uh, someone sounds like they're knocking down the door with timber. Oh, but I love you. I'll be good. Cause cause I care so much. So Jesse's like, okay, all right, let's okay. Ground rules. So I think girls only know boys like not know rules, but like we we want to have fun, right?

So like we all want to let loose with like a non boy environment Hey Meanwhile Zach and and Dakota they get in there and they start eating all their sandwiches that the girls bought for themselves Yeah, immediately just start eating the fucking heathens these guys. And so Leila is like, you guys wait, I don't know. So oh, they're like, so wait, they start talking about Jen, because Jesse is like, no, just females here. Okay, just kidding. Yeah. And then Zach is like, there's no because like, Jesse and Demi get these rules, like what I see is saying like, no allowed and Zach goes no male strippers though huh and just goes no I'm just like female and Zach is like oh because I'm just kidding Zach

yeah Jen can be the stripper right Jen and uh like as Zach says you're a big girl you can do whatever you want pound those streets and your sneakers looking for secretary work while you're trying to take care of two children and no husband at home. If you want to, that life could be yours. And Taylor's like, wait, do you mean that she could do whatever she wants? He goes, no, not at all. So Macy's like, you know, the best are like, well, it seems like whenever Zach is around, he tries to be cool. Like, yeah, no, cool. Jen can do whatever she wants. But we all know that like when he says just kidding, it's like, no, it's not just kidding.

Yeah. So then the boys leave and then Jen's like, sorry. I mean, sorry we got we were here late guys. Like some things happened this morning. And Taylor's like, um, guys, she's looking at me because it was me. It was me guys. I had drama. I'm really sad that Dakota left actually has a really good song to kind of explain it to you. It's called, have you ever heard the story? And boy who cried Wolf.

It's such a good song. Like make makes my mom cry. Um, but I have a really good 11 o'clock number. It's called I'm going into labor. Just kidding. 11 o'clock number. Here comes the reprise. He cried. He cried. But only once. Oh, wait, here comes the here comes the calls of Rack one. I care too much to let you make decisions. I only gamble your money away and control you because I love

you. Wait, why is Zach in the musical? We just we felt like there was this. Listen like it was good. Listen, he was there. He was there too much. So he became part of it. He got absorbed into it. We felt like he was a necessary part. I was singing as the wrong controlling asshole husband. The story really worked with Zach. We liked it. We needed more douche in this story. So we brought that guy.

So, um, anyway, so Taylor's talking about how she and Dakota had been fighting and Macy got a front row seat and the producer asks Macy what she felt during that fight. And Macy goes, so I have a secret that I've been holding in for a little bit. And Taylor is telling her story and Dakota's like fighting and like, at this point, I feel like I have to tell somebody else or I'm going to die inside. Oh, I hope this doesn't destroy their relationship. So Jen is talking to Taylor and she's like, yeah, you know, like I get it. It's hard for you in this situation because like you must feel like you have to walk on eggshells. And you know, I've gone

through the same thing, you know, with Zach, when I say I've gone through, I mean, I go through every second. Yeah. I mean, it's just like every two days and they're coming to us and I was like, yeah, every, every time it's something else goes, yeah. And you know, people think they're being controlling and protective. I don't know, abusive. And I guess it's kind of their fault for acting like that. But let me tell you what, they just do it because they love us, right? They really, really love us. Yeah, I just think that you guys need to go to therapy if you want to make it work.

I mean, that's what Zach and I have done. Well, by therapy, it's more like he throws tinfoil balls at my head and he goes, how's that for therapy? And I say, it's great. I feel healed. Oh man, it's just been a game changer for us. The only therapy I want to see you in is divorce lawyer therapy. That's it. There's no therapy. You can't fix a broken problem. That's a broken man. You cannot fix him. He doesn't even know he has a problem. What are you going to go to therapy for and be like, Oh my God, can I just get better at letting my husband control me? That would be great.

Thanks. Can I just be in a better mood about that? I'm just, you know, so weird. I'm crying every night. Can you fix that? Yes, you can fix it. It's a Southwest plane ticket is always going to cost you is cheaper than therapy. I'll come get you.

Well, I know Zach has a lot of flaws. He can be a bit controlling and a bit judgmental. But I think his issue is that he loves and cares too much. Like, okay. All right. You're a lost cause. Please. It's just so fucking sad to watch this, you know? And then you put it in the context of what we know about abusive relationships and stuff like that. And it's like, you know, part of me thinks like, well, if they're saying that this is the culture and the religion, is it bad to be dissing it all the time

and calling it abuse? No, I don't care if it is, okay? If that's your religion, then your religion is fucking abusive. And that's it. You need to leave your whole fucking religion. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. It's crazy.

I hate that. Sipping from my straw. Sorry, I was sipping from my straw. You're not allowed to sip. I'm like, no. So now everyone's getting ready, and Jesse's like, guys, I got everyone tickets for something.

It's my Libya. Y'all have a ticket to see my Libya. Oh my God, I've been requesting curtains. I didn't know they were that kind. So they're like, is it gonna be like like, is it? Is it okay? Are we like, is it? Well, are we going to be going to hell? She goes, um, yeah, I'll be fine. And Jen's like, but will our husbands approve? And Jesse's like, um, well, in the eyes of

God, you should be fine because, well, you know, God invented the thing that we're gonna see. So therefore, it's gotta be okay in the eyes of God Just remember that oh My gosh, so where are we we the Whitney scene yet? Now we arrive at what now we cut over to Whitney Because Macy's saying how like when he's really like She really wished Whitney had made amends with the girls and now Whitney doing something really fun. She is going to experiment with homesteading. No, my god, are you? Did you run out of puffy sleeves? She's like, you know what, I need

something even more rustic. Take me to an actual farm. Okay. So they go to this farm and the producers ask her what homestead means and she's like, Connor is like, like in one sentence, I'm sorry, sir, are you in this? We don't have anybody with a mustache and sunglasses and a poncho on this cast. Oh, it's just Connor. He just never-

New luck, Connor. He just never knows who's gonna see you. But yeah, it's a sustainable living and it's up to the individual or the family to decide how far they're going to take that. Is it a couple of chickens? Is it a few roosters, chickens,

and other people just raising a whole village of children that aren't even ours? We don't really know yet. We want a farm, a farm with some chickens, some horses, some vibrators. And there's just been so much drama in our life because of this mom talk group and our loveless marriage. And I just want to get away from that. I mean, now I, I know people are going to accuse me of saying like, you always are running away, but I'm not running away. I just want to get away from that, which is different from trying to run away because I'm just

getting away, not running away. You understand what I'm saying? Listen, I'm running away because we don't have, you know, other kinds of transportation at the farm. We're doing this in a very rustic way. Right. I'm riding away, riding, I'm horse riding away. Okay. So Sarah, who works at this, they're basically go to a, a homestead. They go to a little farm and Sarah Whitney just every time she has problems with people just makes a complete move. Like the Hawaii and then to a farm, like girl, what, how much are you guys making with mom talk? She vehement vehemently denies that she runs away from her problems, but she

literally just says right now, I just want to get away. So Sarah, the farmer is like, Oh yeah, farming, it's every day. It's 365 days a year. It's very rhythmic. Well, you know, it's only like an hour a day. You know, you feed the horses, you feed the chickens, you feed the chimps that you hide in your basement. It's pretty easy stuff. Yeah. It's like, yeah, but you know, you get used to it. Oh, you Oregon smelling the poop though. Day in day out. And that Connor's like, Whoa, why did I think it would take all day? So the rest of it, I can, you can spend together. Connor's like, why did I think it would take as long as it does for me to build an erection for Whitney,

you know, all day. Oh my God. Oh, my cow. I can't be the only one having to squeeze their udders all day just to get through this marriage. Am I right? Okay, moving on. So the producer asked why she doesn't go to Vegas. And she's like, everyone clearly saw

how my conversation went with Jessie, and they're all clearly talking shit on my back, so why would I wanna hang out with those girls? And I'm heard, and nobody called me after I left the group. Nobody called me after I'm not coming to Vegas. Nobody called me after I completely antagonized everybody. I mean, I just don't get it. Fuck those.

What does Whitney do? Can she do like the splits in the air? What kind of TikTok dancing does she do that she feels like she's this fucking important? Girl, everybody's replaceable, even on mom talk. Yeah. So now we go back to Vegas and they are getting ready. And like Macy's like very anxious. Like everyone's like nervous about what's, what are they gonna go see? What are they gonna go see? Cause they all sort of just like suspect

that they're gonna go see male strippers. And they're just like all very, very nervous about it. And Macy's with Taylor. And they should be. And furthermore, this is shitty of Jessie to do. Do you think, this really rubs me the wrong way that Jesse is like purposely going out of her way when she knows this is going to cause problems and everybody's really like, should they have more, uh, you know, control and power

over their own lives? Yeah. But you know, this is going to do nothing, but cause them hardships. Like, why is that fun for you? I think that's a red flag, uh, as a person personally, let's see how it turns out. Yeah. Um, yeah, I mean, I can't tell if it's shitty because I feel like if I were someone like Jen, if I was in that relationship, I'd be like, why would you do this to me? You know, I'm already fighting for my life with this guy. But if

I'm Jesse, I'm also like, it's just male strippers. It's like fine. And also, Jesse is like 10 years older than Jen strippers. It's like fine. And also Jesse's like 10 years older than Jen Affleck, don't forget. And so she has some work here. It's not just Jen, it's all of them. And like you're having them do it on TV. It's like you're personally putting them in the position where like they're not cool

if they don't do this like ultimate sinny thing with you on national TV. And that can affect their lives like in the church and in their circles. We see how they talk about their social circles and the sinning and all of this. Now, do I love the social circle and the fact that that's how it's all set up?

Of course not, I don't. But I just think that Jesse is purposely putting them in a bad position and I don't think a good friend would do that. Yeah, I don't know where I land on this one, to be honest. I have to think about this one more because- Well, it's okay, you don't have to land it anymore. I'm just saying- I don't know where I land on this one, to be honest. I have to think about this one more because- That's okay, you don't have to land it anymore. I'm just saying. I don't know.

I see what you're saying, but I don't know. I don't know where I just have not, and my brain is not at a place where I can really come to make a definitive stance on this one. So I won't. I'm not really aware. But anyway, so Michaela and Macy are talking and Macy's like, like, okay, wait, come closer.

So you know how I do those like anonymous confession things, you know, that was just like break the end, right? Every time, you know, it's like, I got this, I got this confession about Dakota. So Macy tells us that like, she has a thing called Sinner Sunday, where people can anonymously write in their confessions. And so she got one about Dakota and like some confessions say like, I love giving neck when I'm hooking up with someone. My boyfriend calls me the throat goat lol. So like these are real confessions guys. Pete Slauson The throat goat? This is, I'm sorry to be the police right now, but this is also wrong.

I mean, I know you're not a preacher, but you're not supposed to go on with people's confessions. I mean, she doesn't, she posts the confessions. Oh, I just, yeah, no, she, it's like, it's like, you know, answering questions on Instagram, no, no, she shares them, but then there was one that she got about Dakota that she did not share. So she's like, so, okay, Demi, get close. A month ago, I got this confession.

You know how I do those like anonymous Q&A confessions? It's like, yes, Macy, you've like teased us. I've done just okay, before we go any further, I just want to double check we're still on board. You guys still remember the confessions I do on Sunday. I know, she's like, don't forget to follow. Okay, Center Sundays, here to hear first. So I got this confession,

because I do this thing on Sunday, it's called Center Sunday. And this confession says the following, thank you so much for doing that thing on Sunday, it's called Center Sunday. I'm like, come on, Macy, say it. She goes, okay, okay. I accidentally slept with Dakota

before I knew he and Taylor were together. And then it says, I only met Taylor once and I'm terrified to tell her, but I know she has a right to know, help. And then there's like a shrug emoji. So then we see the screenshot and Michaela's like, oh my God, do you think that was from Jenna? And Macy's like, look, it says who sent this, but then if you click that, they're like, oh my God, do you think that was from Jenna? And Macy's like, look, it says who sent this,

but then if you click that, they're like, oh my God, you didn't show Taylor? She's like, I don't know, that's why I'm asking you. Like, should I say something to her? What should I do? I guess anonymous, it's a confession thing. I do it on Sundays, it's for sinners. Tim is like, I would tell her.

So Macy was like, I will tell her. I will tell her that I'm doing sinner Sunday on Sundays with confessions. I have no idea who sent this anonymous confession, but I have an idea that it could be Jenna. She is a girl that Dakota dated before Taylor and him were together, but he was also seeing Jenna and Taylor at the same time. So that's why there's contention and issues in their relationship. So then this is the girl that he went to hook up with? Dun, dun, dun. And Demi is like, well, I mean, she literally just said that if there was something going on, then she'd definitely break up with them. She would definitely 100,000% break up with them.

Well, it's just, you know, it'd be one, like, one thing if she's like, I don't care about the past, I really don't want to know. But like she said, she'd break up with Dakota. And this is a situation where like, if she finds out and the baby comes and they get married, she'll probably divorce him. So you should probably tell her before she gets married and loses everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she is going to do it. So then we go to the farm back to Whitney and the farm. This is like the saddest storyline ever. Whitney is like, Wow, I just got on the show. Everybody hates me. I'm the biggest villain in

the world. Nobody's calling me back. And they went on a group trip without me. And now I'm at the farm with Connor, who dresses like someone new every day, just so they can pretend they're meeting me for the first time and they don't have to listen to all of my problems. I know all the girls are in Vegas, but there's been so much drama in our life. I just want to get away from that, but I'm not running away. I just want to get away from that. I'm just going to say,

I want to get away from it multiple times and then act like I don't want to run away. And then the farm lady is like, yeah, you're going to be smelling like shit every day. Okay. I hope you're excited. It permeates your hair, your clothes. You can take a shower. Your shower smells like it.

You're never gonna escape. Do you like to run away? No. Well, then good, because you're never gonna run away from the smell of horse shit. You know how like your mom always looks like she's smelling horse shit?

Well, now you actually can smell like horse shit. And it makes sense why she's making that. It's not just your personality anymore. Oh, okay. Well, that's a nice upside. And she's like, look, these rakes are made for actual horse poop. And Connor's like, wow, it's amazing. It just scoops it right up.

Are you guys impulsing or horse peep scoopers? What is going on? I'm going to do it. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm going to take the horse pooper, scooper deal. So, uh, the producer asks, uh producer asks Whitney what she thinks of everyone saying that she always that homesteading is another version of Hawaii. Because you know, I hate that people say, I'm running away. Okay, there's a difference between running away and just like removing yourself from a toxic environment. I am not running away. I'm just getting away.

It's very different. There's no running. And then we see a horse poop. Horses really, why is nobody shaming horses about how they poop? Do it somewhere else. Like they just poop everywhere and they poop in this way where their whole butthole comes out and then poops. Like do you really need to like poop out your guts and then poop? Like at least make it a decent way to poop. It's just so gross. It's so green. It's very green. It was like, it was really, and also Hulu, do we need to see it? Like, it was like a long extended shot of a big thing of poo, horse poo just coming out. Like, we didn't need to see all of this.

Yeah, that's a lot. Like, we just got through Tamra's plastic surgery and now we have to watch this. Yeah, basically the same thing. So Connor's like- We just got through Tamra's plastic surgery and now we have to watch this. Yeah, basically the same thing. And Whitney is like, I mean, Connor's like, oh my God, did you guys just see that horse's butthole clothes? This is the most animated we've ever seen Connor. Yes, he's never been more excited.

At least not in front of Whitney. So now we're back to Vegas and everyone's like taking photos and everything and Vegas and everyone's taking photos and everything. They give Layla birthday sash and it's all fun. Jesse is talking about they plan a surprise. They get into a party bus. Everyone's like, oh my God, it's so fun. Jesse says, well, hopefully husbands don't kill me when they find out,

but I think it's going to be a fun thing for all of us to do together. They're like, oh my God. Jen's like, well, I'm nervous. I think my husband's nervous. And Jesse is like, Yeah, 100%. The husbands are going to be nervous. That's for sure. Like, what? She was, Oh my god, I'm nervous. They're going to hate me, but it's going to be fun, guys. Like, not a strip club, guys. No, it's not. It's a show. It's entertainment, guys. It's the guys. Oh my god, guys. It's the Chip and Dale's. Oh my God, rescue Rangers, we're not allowed to watch the cartoons about Chipmunks.

No, not Chip and Dale's like that. This is the Outer Darkness Dale's. You guys are fucked, every one of you. And then this is also the follower mentality, which we should know because these girls are all on the same TikTok and like, I don't know, that's literally where you have to follow each other to like stay in rhythm with the dances.

Like, all their choreography is basically built on being followers, but yikes. If you guys don't want to do this, say no, I'm not fucking going in there and you're not going to make me and stop trying to make me you asshole. I don't want to. Yeah. So Jen's like, of course, Jesse would freaking plan all this. I should have known. I should have known. Oh my gosh. I'm screwed. I'm screwed. All that planning and plotting just to get in with the Affleck's and now it's all going to shit. I'm going to be alone

on the streets. Girl, listen, this might get you out of one Affleck, but it would totally help with the other Affleck and he's way more important. So, um, then yeah, they show up at like, uh, Chippendales and it's like, oh my God, don't look at them. Don't look at the, don't look at it. But of course, this is a reality show. It's not just, oh, we're going to Chippendales. They then go backstage.

So they're meeting these, these strippers and of course they have amazing bodies and like now it's really this is a tough position for them and jesse's like well since lela's birthday party this weekend i thought i'd get like a bip package and we can meet the boys just ahead of time so they're talking to the guys and then the guys are like oh we need to get oiled up before the show so lela's basically just like oiling up all the guys and jen oh, we need to get oiled up before the show. So Layla is basically just like oiling up all the guys. And Jen is like trying to look away and like look at like the rafters and be like, if I don't look at these hot, hot men who I didn't know they could be this hot, who these are really hot guys that don't exist.

If I don't look at them, they don't exist. Yeah. So like the center crew is like putting oil on the dancer. And then Jen's just really uncomfortable staring at the floor. And she's like, girls, we're married women. Why are we rubbing on these men? Oh my gosh, I can't. Oh, but of course, like the sinner girls are like, and this is amazing. We love sin. We love it. So and then they have, then they have to take a group photo. So Jen is so upset and she's like, oh my gosh, for us to go meet the maelstromers themselves,

just standing there, I'm already feeling guilty. And now we're taking a picture with them too. And they're just like, oh my God, that was awful. That was so bad. And Jen is like, I'm shaking. I'm like literally shaking right now. And Demi is like, are you freaking out about Zach? And she's like, well, I mean, it's just like worried

about being associated with them, like taking pictures. Like, yeah, like, cause you know that fucking Jizz is gonna get those pictures and put them all over Instagram and probably tag the husbands who are gonna be annoyed by it. Meanwhile, Zach is over at a casino gambling away the $2,500 that Jen provided for him and probably been some and she's here freaking out because she's merely in the same room as a shirtless guy. It's just so backwards. I'm sorry. You know what? It is it is it is kind of like if I were Jen, I would probably would not be friends with Jesse after

this because of the position that she put her in and it's very uncomfortable. But honestly, I don't think Jesse is a bad friend. I think that Jen is with a bad husband and making Jesse look bad. Hey, this is not an either or thing. He is a horrible human being and a horrible husband and at the very least, a controlling emotional abuser. I'm not even arguing that. I'm just separately, I'm saying, I feel like a Jizz is putting people in a really bad position.

Like, she's like literally putting someone that she knows is with a really controlling, somewhat abusive kind of person into a situation. I just don't, let's just grow. It has nothing to do with, it's not like, oh, he's better because he's off gambling. I'm not saying that, he's still a piece of shit. This has nothing to do with him. I'm saying, let's just, you know.

I will say in this very low stakes debate, I will say Turnabout is also fair play because the one who was the shitty friend initially was Jen, disinviting Jesse and Demi from that baby shower. So Jesse's like, okay, bitch. Okay. Well then if it's that, then I would at least respect it. So she's, Jesse was playing the long game. Okay. She was very nice. Okay. And all right. So we're sinners and Zach doesn't want us near the baby because we'll be bad influences. Okay. Well, I guess if we're bad influence, we're gonna see how bad of an influence I am. Yeah, I support now I support Jesse now that I thought about that.

Jesse is wrong. Kind of talked me into it because I think you're like, Yeah, I think you're right. And being like, Oh, yeah, who's the sinner now? Be? Yeah, Jen was this Jen was the truly shitty friend first. And so I think now all that and again, it's something else that Jen was like, it wasn't even her was her husband. So it's like influenced again, she can't she you know, she's just can't make up her own mind other people are constantly telling her what to do. Like he did that she could have said no, that's my friend and I want her at my party. And then she could have told Jesse, no, I mean, at the end of the day, we're adults and we have to like stand up for ourselves you know sometimes I just have to remind myself like you know they're under 20s they're not they're not an old old battled queen like me who's learned

boundaries I didn't necessarily always have them but that's why it just makes it sadder you know I just want to help. So anyway, Jen is spiraling and she's like, she's like, I'm fine to like do this whole thing and like do it all for Laila and have fun. But like the moment they like try to make me go up there and dance like I'm out. Okay, because I will literally be a divorced woman. I'm not even kidding. Like I'm not even jokingly saying that. Like I'm literally telling you, Zach will literally divorce me over something like this. And Taylor's like, yeah, Dakota's mad.

So Jesse's like, oh no, like what did you say to him? Did you just told him like what it was? And he's just like, oh, it's Chippendales. And he goes dumb. And I was like, it's just a performance. And so Jesse's like, oh my God, I feel so bad. Everyone's gonna like be in trouble tonight. Thank you. Thank God you've got about 45 pounds of hair to make your head feel nice light, not headachy at all.

But Taylor's like, Well, whatever. I'm in trouble every day. So that's my point. It's like fine. She's like, it's fine. Bring on bring on the hot dick. So, um, uh, so Michaela's like, by the way, I've been talking to Jace and I didn't realize he'd be so upset. And just, just, he's like, why? Cause I don't know. She was, Oh, men do nothing but cause problems. Seriously. So then Jesse's like, Oh my God, it's mind boggling. Like these girls are just listening to their husbands and being perfect.

Stepford wise. Yeah. Do you know your fucking friends? Yeah. This is the culture you're in. What did you expect? Then Jesse's like, guys, why don't we do a TikTok? I feel like no. But I want to do something where it's like no boyfriends allowed, girls trip and like, no, we can't even be seen.

If someone realizes that this is the wallpaper of the backstage area of Trippendales, we are going to be roasted. Let's do it right now that I know everyone's in trouble with their partners. I've caused huge fights. Let's do a tick tock for millions of people right in front of the Chippendales poster. Please don't please. So then they do this tick tock and it's like girls trip, no boyfriends. And Jesse's like that was so good. Good job, everyone. That was literally all it was. Girls trip, no boyfriends. Just like that was so good. Good job, everyone.

That was literally all it was. Girls trip, no boyfriends. Demi is like, yeah, when it comes to Jen and Zach and their relationship, it's alarming that he wants things to be traditional, especially about the church. They think their women owe them doing things a specific way to prove that they're only that man's wife. And it's so strange to me.

Cause like, like you should be able to like be out with your girlfriends and have fun. I mean, yeah, agreed. Yeah. And then, sorry, this is where we see the TikTok which actually has a little bit more content than what I originally said, which is girl strip definition. No boyfriends, no bullshit food. Like wait, does that mean no food or that there is food or it's all about girls?

Stick with the trend here. Just stick with me. No boyfriends, no bullshit. Ceilings. There will be ceilings. We'll be in rooms with ceilings. So it sounds like why are we getting upset? Oh, so now is she talking to her husband? She's like, why are we getting upset? It's a tick tock. And they're like, yeah, exactly. And Jen's like, well, I just don't know what to do. Should I walk out? Do I just go along with everything? I don't know what to do. Maybe I should text Zach just to let him know what's going on. So Jenny gets on the phone and we only hear her side. She goes, don't worry, nothing's happening. Babe, I'm like literally, it's like a joke. Like, Macy went with her mom

to this. I don't even know. I didn't know till I got here. Can you just stop for a second? Just like think of me as a person, my character. What you said you were going to hit me? Oh, you said hit, you're playing blackjack. Sorry blackjack sorry okay please can you just like think about me please please can you just think about me as a human being i did nothing wrong in this situation nothing yeah this is so hard to watch do not like this because she's sobbing and he's obviously berating her on the other end from the paper table just disgusting like she's literally doing I'm sorry, she's doing nothing wrong. She did wasn't even her choice to come to this thing in the first place. It wouldn't even matter if it was her

choice. She didn't touch anyone. She didn't cheat. She didn't do anything. And the fact that this guy while he's spending her money gambling is going to shame her a bullshit. So um, she's like you saying he doesn't want to be married to me if I do stuff like this. Oh my God. Like he really does want to divorce. Like, what did I do? Yeah. Okay. Good. Take it and, and get that sweet surgeon. Like, what are you going to do? Get that sweet surgeon payout. Please go, please. Just, this is so terrible. You need to do the surgery. Cut out that little malignant albino fuck.

Sorry to be albino people. I'm just just describing as I know like there's so many. Sorry, I just meant no, it's just there's multiple malignant fucks on this show. So we had to doesn't make yes albino people are generally malignant. What's wrong with this? Jones is crushing my brain. Okay, this is hard to watch. Either way, this guy's a fuck. And the fact that he's like, honestly, at the very least, he's just doing a power play just to ruin her time. I sincerely believe that.

I think he actually just wants to make her cry. And I think honestly, I think this is- A punishment. Yeah, sorry, go ahead. No, I think he's trying to make her cry. It's a punishment for her doing something fun on her own, like without him. Yeah.

But then if she was with him, he'd be having a fit too, because he just wants to play poker. So it's like, yes, it's like he doesn't even want to really be around her. He just wants to be a controlling piece of shit. So she's crying and she's like, I don't think this is even about Chippendales. I think it might be about something deeper. Yeah. And it's gonna keep being this for the rest of your fucking life with this person.

And by the way, people like this are not fixable. They can improve their behavior. You can maybe learn how to get them to talk a little bit differently, but people like this don't just suddenly become good people. Sorry, sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but it's only going to get worse from here. RUN! RUN! NURR! This guy's garbage.

NURR! By the way, it's backwards day. RUN! NURR! Yeah, he's garbage, but the show is not. The show is hilarious and great. So another entertaining episode and thanks everyone for being here. We sure do love you and we will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens. Bye. Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Erin McNicholas, she don't miss no trickles.

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