Watch What Crappens - #2736 Summer House S09E02: Broken Hearts and Middle Parts

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Carl and Lindsay share words for the first time since the reunion on Summer House.  Plus, Ciara confronts West, and Jesse receives a koala hug. To watch this recap on video, listen to ou...r Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Get Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria tour at watchwhatcrappens.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:51 Indeed.com slash wonder ECA. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring, Indeed is all you need. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen. And ultimately you triumph in finding it again. Listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch for Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.
Starting point is 00:01:43 I'm Ben Mandelkelker and joining me as usual is the wonderful and lovely Ronnie Karam. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good. I went to see La La Land last night. It was like some re-release at a movie theater here in Austin and I've just been dancing around with Bueller all day. Just enjoying the time we have together
Starting point is 00:02:02 before he chooses stardom over me. Just enjoying the time we have together before he chooses stardom over me City of stars So I'm good I'm floating on clouds what's going on with you over there that dreary ass song I prefer the one that goes dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun or whatever they play, that starts going dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. And I was like, I'm sitting here and listening to this orchestra, ma'am. I'm an old person and I enjoy the orchestral highs that I'm getting from this song, thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:02:39 As you should. I've only seen La La Land once and it was fun. So the point, you know what, you know what we are, I am in La La Land, but soon I will be traveling the country on the watcher crap is mountain Castaria tour, which resumes in March, going to Cincinnati, going to, I guess I should have the actual schedule in front of me, but going to Cincinnati, going to Charlotte, going to Toronto,
Starting point is 00:03:07 going to Philadelphia, going to DC, all sorts of places like that. Atlanta, Minneapolis, Boston. Oh, Boston's in April, but you know, Boston people get ready. It's going to be a great time. We always have so much fun on the road. So we will hope to see you all there. Go to watch what happens.com to get your tickets. Also go to Patreon to get access to our bonus episodes. Traders, we're doing Traders as our bonus right now,
Starting point is 00:03:34 exclusively on Patreon. Traders is airing tonight and I am really excited for it. And we also have Crappas on Demand where you can actually watch us, not just listen. So hi people who are watching and crappies on demand So that's patreon.com slash watch what happens and that's basically it and today we are getting back into summer house it's the much anticipated reunion of
Starting point is 00:03:56 Carl and Lindsay Carl and the dishes that he's gonna be doing the rest of the season because that's all Carl is gonna do Why is Carl back? I don't know I guess we're Carl's back back to watch Carl do some dishes and act like a huge victim of everybody around him. Well, not everybody, Lindsay. And it's delicious. It's actually really fun to watch. Carl's best season, I have to say, so far.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Really enjoying it. So Carl comes in. At the end of last episode, he came in, freaked out with the producers, like, oh my god. What am I going to say to Lindsay? And then went to the bathroom and hyperventilated for a while and talked himself up. He's like, you look great by the way. So now he comes out all confident. He's like, I'm Carl. And he walks right out to the pool where everybody's having a good time and starts doing his like, oh, how's it going? Look at all these faces. Hello, Sierra. Hello, page. Hello, everybody. Hello, everybody. But Lindsay.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Yeah, Lindsay is there in the pool in a in an inner tube. So she's literally circled like she might as well have like fluorescent yellow on her and highlight, you know, she is like so obviously there. And oh, hey, I just want to say hold on everyone here. Does anyone know this balloon guy here? Cause I say hi to him. Oh, look, hey, pine tree. Good to see you again. No barbecue. Am I missing anyone? Am I missing anyone at all? And Lindsay's just like, this is classic Carl, you know, avoidant passive aggressive pussy. Yeah. And Lindsay's like, Oh, I don't blame him for not saying hi to me,
Starting point is 00:05:25 but I really don't care. And so they're trying to make small talk with Carl and they're asking how he is. And he's like, I mean, butterflies coming out here. Of course, butterflies. Like it's been really rough a couple of years for me, guys. I'm like, oh, Jesus, here he goes. And Lindsay's just staring at him like, okay. Yeah, everyone's like, oh, Jesus, here he goes. And Lindsay's just staring at him like, okay.
Starting point is 00:05:45 Yeah, everyone's like, right, right. So Lindsay's like, I am done with that relationship and his feelings and emotions are just like, not my issue anymore so he can like lean on someone else for softness and tenderness and tighter hugs. It's like, yeah, you go, Lindsay. So then Sierra's like, she whispers to Jesse, she's like, did Carl and Lindsay even say hi to each other?
Starting point is 00:06:04 And he's like, I don't think so. Hold on, let me FaceTime my girlfriend, Lexi. Hold on. Hey, Lexi, you there? She's like, Carl, I'm Jesse. I'm sitting right next to you. All right, I just want to double check. So then Kyle is asking Carl, like,
Starting point is 00:06:21 have you said hi, Lindsay yet? And he's like, oh, no. I just want to congratulate her on everything, but I just don't want to make her uncomfortable. Super important. I mean, she's like pregnant pregnant, right? And you're like, yeah, she's pregnant pregnant. So Carl, by the way, nothing says, nothing says making sure someone isn't uncomfortable, like singling them out and not saying hello to them.
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's literally do what I do with every pregnant person I see. If a pregnant person comes on the bus, I just like hide my face under a magazine. They can't see me. They won't feel uncomfortable. I don't want to feel uncomfortable. So she's like, she's like, pregnant, pregnant. I mean, and then he tells us this, is one of many woe is me things from Carl that we'll probably get all season long. I just wanna say the right thing, and I wanna deliver the right words,
Starting point is 00:07:14 and just acknowledge it, and it's just like, I think it's the right thing to do, just to say something, but I'm afraid she's gonna bust out a bunch of shit that she's angry about, and there's a lot of feelings and emotions, and we were friends before this, and I was in love with her, and I wanted to get married, it just wasn't right, so I have a bunch of shit that she's angry about. And there's like a lot of feelings and emotions. And like we were friends before this. I was in love with her and I wanted to get married. I just wasn't right. So I have like a lot of, I got my armor up.
Starting point is 00:07:30 And even though she seemingly doesn't give a shit anymore, I still think she does. Okay, so there's a lot of bullshit right in here. First of all, you want to deliver the right words. Guess what? You had like a three hour drive to get here. You could have thought of something, okay? Second of all, it's Lindsay.
Starting point is 00:07:44 You know you like, you don't have to be so delicate with her. Third of all, I'm afraid she's going to bust out a bunch of shit. Okay. So you're, you're afraid of scary Lindsay now. Okay. Relax, bro. She's pregnant. She's moved on with her life. And then he does the whole thing like, well, I wanted to get married, but it just wasn't right. No, you were the one who broke it up. So you don't get to pull the whole, I wanted to get married thing. And then the whole like, oh, I've got my armor up. So, you know, she doesn't give a shit anymore, but I do. I'm still the one who's sensitive and caring.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Shut the fuck up and get out of here and go wash a dish. Can I say I don't even have any of the anger towards Carl. I'm just like, poor Carl. Like, what's Carl even doing here? You know, he drives up, he doesn't even have that. I mean, last year it was like, what's Carl doing here? But at least he had the Lindsay thing kind of going on. But even then he was not really into it. So I mean, I don't really care. It's kind of like, I remember when I worked at Applebee's. Sorry, everybody. Wait for it. It's an Applebee story. But I was like 15 and I finally left that place.
Starting point is 00:08:47 And then I came back and I was like, this is gonna be so special seeing everybody and like, I don't know, having my moment with all my friends and stuff. And it wasn't, okay? It was different. Now somebody else had to dust the pictures on the wall and the stupid license plates they used to put on the wall.
Starting point is 00:09:02 And it wasn't me. And I felt kind of sad about it for a minute but then guess what I started going to Chili's instead and my life was a lot better for it. So my point is Carl, go to Chili's okay? This is no longer your Applebee's. You are a bad apple. You have fallen off the tree and rolling down the hill. So go rolling. Roll down the hill. Go away. So the boys are gonna have boys day. We're going to the union bar. It's just boys. So we're leaving in 20. All right, everybody. So now they have to start getting ready to go do that and stuff. And West is also still moping around. He's like, wow,
Starting point is 00:09:35 she's really upset. Sierra really hurt his feelings guys. Sierra really hurt his feelings by confronting him with the stuff that he did. Yeah. And Jesse is still admiring Lexi. He's like, I mean, she has kind of a juicy booty. I'm like, does she? So then, then like she comes in because they're in the kitchen and so they like scatter and they walk back in as if like
Starting point is 00:09:56 they weren't just staring at her. She's like, hi, I'm looking for string cheese. So there, there's people were saying where's Lexi's personality? And it has arrived. She's looking for string cheese. Yeah. And it just is like, do you like my outfit?
Starting point is 00:10:09 She's like, oh no, I love your outfit. I love it. And Paige walks in and is like, oh, look, your little terry cloth set. You're just like a little towel boy. It's like you made an outfit of towels. OK, bye. So then West comes in with like a little towel boy. It's like you made an outfit of towels. Okay, bye. So then West comes in with like a Duck Dynasty outfit. I'm not really sure what West is going. I get wanting to do the whole like,
Starting point is 00:10:32 I'm a guy, I listen to Barstool. Like that's great, okay? You guys do you. I see you all over the place here in Texas. This isn't fashion. Okay, like at some point, he's kind of a caricature of those guys. I'd actually like to see one of those Duck Dynasty guys just kind of beat up West.
Starting point is 00:10:52 Yeah, they probably would. So, Amanda's like, are we going hunting? No, it's like not fun pants summer, it's fun top summer this year. Is that what's going on West? She's like, do you think this is a fun top? She goes, for you, yeah. For anyone else, it's fun top summer this year. Is that what's going on, Wes? He's like, do you think this is a fun top? She goes, for you, yeah. For anyone else, it's garbage.
Starting point is 00:11:09 For us, it's all fun because we get to laugh at you. So Kyle, I love that we're acting like the guys are all high fashion. They all look like dad's going to a Costco in the summer. Okay? But every time one of them comes out, I think, oh my God, you look amazing. So now Carl's like, I'm gonna drive for Boys Day.
Starting point is 00:11:27 It's for the boys. So Paige comes up with a better idea. She's like, Amanda, what if we fuck around and lie down on the couch? It's crazy. So then Carl's like, yeah, I already feel a good vibe to the boys. Wes is like, dude, if it makes you feel any better about an awkward intro
Starting point is 00:11:46 with Lindsay, I went in to give Sierra a hug when she got here and she fucking stiff arm my arms away. And we see like, we see like flashbacks of that. He's like, yeah, it's been a day and it's already been like, I asked her something this morning and she was, she was kind of nice. So I think it's getting better. I wasn't sure. Like if I should say something, Lindsay, cause like I saw her something this morning and she was, she was kind of nice. I think it's getting better. I wasn't sure. Like if I should say something Lindsey, cause like I saw her in the pool and I was
Starting point is 00:12:09 like, should I say something? But then I didn't say something. And just he's like, you did the right thing, bro. You did the right thing. That's totally what you should do to make things less awkward. You know, walk in, have a nervous breakdown in the bathroom and then just don't say anything to the people that terrify you. He's like, yeah, yeah, I'm going to give it a little space, little space. Yeah, I kind of agree not to do it in front of everyone. The second you get there, it almost feels like you're chomping at the bit to say, you
Starting point is 00:12:33 know, something crazy like, hey, how's it going? Congrats on the pregnancy, by the way. Because God forbid you say something like that. So now the girls are talking about how nervous Carl was. And so she's like, oh my, Amanda's like, do you think he noticed the gigantic ultrasound on the mantle? And she's like, the weirdest thing to me is that like Lindsey's pregnant.
Starting point is 00:12:57 So now like we're all pregnant. Like I have to get my shit together now. Wait, do I have to get my taxes in order? And then just like, yeah, I gotta call my accountant. Maybe I should move to South Carolina. What am I doing? Maybe I should just submit to hell. Yeah, and so Paige is talking about how weird it is
Starting point is 00:13:17 because like one girl gets pregnant and then it puts things in perspective with everybody else. And she's like, yeah, when Craig and I started dating, Lindsay and Carl started dating. And then they got engaged and they planned a wedding. They called off the wedding. She got a new boyfriend. She got pregnant.
Starting point is 00:13:29 And I'm still dating Craig. And all that's really happened is that I got Craig to get a new haircut. So am I behind? But to be fair, this all happened within the span of like six months, okay? Like the wedding, the engagement, the wedding, the breakup, that was like,
Starting point is 00:13:46 that could not have been more than a calendar year. So- And it's also different because Lindsey's wants are very different. Lindsey was like, I'm getting married, I'm having a baby. This is my timeline. I want a balloon and I want, I want a hot air balloon.
Starting point is 00:13:59 Like she had all of her stuff and he just didn't really like that. I do think it's funny though, that girls seem to have that like, oh no, someone, some, one of my friends is getting married. Should I be getting married? Should I be getting a baby? When one of my friends gets married, I know that it's time to go to the Bevmo and get the bar stocked because they're going to need somewhere to come complain about their marriage. And it's, it works like clockwork, you know?
Starting point is 00:14:22 Yeah, I believe that. Also Lindsay, Lindsay and Craig, they should get together because they both want to have the whole family thing and why not? So then the guys are just talking, they're at the bar. They're just growing out and everything, talking about what they're drinking and stuff. And Kyle's like, oh, first of all, similar to his relationship,
Starting point is 00:14:43 it was less than 24 hours years old, 24 hours old with Jesse and everything. And West is like, oh yeah, that's what we're going to tell you verbatim. Do put this t-shirt on. Jesse today goes, I can't believe we're going to go two summers in a row where we're not single today together. Like, yeah, it's crazy. Is it like in a relationship? It's like, yeah, I accidentally said, I don't know if she clocked it, but oh,
Starting point is 00:15:04 Jesse says, I don't know if she clocked it, but, oh, Jesse says, I don't know if she clocked it, but Carl, I'd like to introduce you to the love of my life, Lexi. Like I'm pretty sure she clocked it. Yeah, and West is like, I guess I'm without my bro for the rest of the summer. Gah. So he's all sad.
Starting point is 00:15:20 So he's like sadly singing like the reprise ballad version of What Would Jesse Solomon Do? Itad version of what would Jesse Solomon do? It's like what would Jesse Solomon do? do do do do do So then back at the house the girls are still talking and Gabby's like so Lexi am I catching vibes from you and Jesse and she's like, oh my god, you're catching vibes Well, I was gonna say like like, tell me about your vibes. Ha ha ha ha.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Look, like, he's cute and like, it's our second day, so like, we haven't drove in deep, but like, so far, I'm like, so shocked. I'm like, the vibes are there. Like, I'm just like, I don't like to be touched unless it's somebody that's cute, but like, he touches me and he's like cute. So like vibes are there so he can touch me. That was a really long paragraph to say nothing.
Starting point is 00:16:15 Lexi say something. Lexi. Gabby is just like, why am I the one who has to ask these girls what's going on in their lives? She looks so disinterested with them. So Lexi tells us some backstories. She goes, my parents have been together for 37 years. Crazy. They got married when they were 21. So seeing their love and how that's the foundation just goes on and on about her parents. Like literally no one cares that your parents are still together. We care more if your parents were separated and one of them, you know, like got lost in the Amazon
Starting point is 00:16:45 or something. So Bailey's like, y'all look cute together though. So I'm like your supporter for the one episode left that I'm on this show. And then back at the bar, Jesse's like, wow, you guys, I can't believe how excited I am about this. Like, I feel like I'm like too young to like need someone like young and fresh to make me feel like more of a man, but apparently I'm not. So I feel like I've entered kind of a new era of my life. It's amazing. Like, yeah, bro. Yeah, this is the fastest 24 hours of relationship
Starting point is 00:17:13 I've ever seen in my life, bro. And Carl's like, hey, have you texted her yet? Do you wanna text her? He's like, I don't have her number yet, bro. They're like, oh man. So he DMs her to get her number and he says, yeah, I DMed her. I said, I wish I had your number right now.
Starting point is 00:17:27 It's like, oh, it's going to be awful. This is going to be a rough season for Jesse because this is going to blow up. Yeah. So he says to my last night as a single man, everybody, they're like, oh, my God, dude, you're so insane. He's like, guys, you know, I'm kidding, but also kind of serious, you know, so now it's July 5th. How did no one even care that it was July 4th? Come on guys. Is it cause it was on a Thursday or something? Maybe, maybe. That's like a huge day on summer house to lie for us. It's like a, it's a,
Starting point is 00:17:59 it's a huge deal. Huge day. So, um, now Lexi, Gabby and Dan, Lexi, Gabby and Bailey are at the table still and Lexi is like, wait, so Bailey, I know that you're talking to someone in the city, but you aren't sure where things are. Do you care to elaborate? She's like, yeah, I want to keep it. Gabby's like, is he coming to the party? We don't know. Oh, so what do you mean? Why isn't he coming? I don't know. He's like, sent some weird message. He was like, I'm sorry, I have a lot of work to do. I mean, I met this guy and we went on a couple of dates and he's such a beautiful man. And then
Starting point is 00:18:35 I went into this with no expectations. But I also don't need you to give me attitude if I'm having a good time and I'm not on the phone. Okay, like, what do you think I'm doing? I mean, I just said, let's just see how this goes. Let's not put a label on it. Danielle's just sitting there like, I'm not Danielle, Gabby. She's just like, how much longer do I have to talk to these people before I can contractually
Starting point is 00:18:55 go to a different room? I think part of the problem in relationships today is that people are so afraid to put labels on things. Well, Bailey, I've got a label. I've watched you for about five minutes. Here's a label. Boring, okay? Boring.
Starting point is 00:19:08 There's your label. Sew it on and run along. So then Gabby goes to Lindsay's room and she's like, oh my God, these young girls have me like spinning in circles. I mean, they're not drunk. They're just like boy drama. And Lindsay's like, um, I'm about to have a baby
Starting point is 00:19:22 so I'm very mature. She just sits and looks at her like, you guys are all so crazy. So then the boys are coming home now, and Jesse got Lexi's number. And so he FaceTimes her. And he's like, hey, how are you? And she's like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Starting point is 00:19:40 Why did you FaceTime me? I just wanna see your face. Oh my God, do FaceTime me? I just want to see your face. Oh my god. Do you miss me? I mean, I didn't say that, but yeah, I mean, so we're just like leaving now. So we'll be home in like 10 to 15 minutes. You better get ready because when you're home, I'm going to run right into your room and give you a koala hug. I wouldn't love that.
Starting point is 00:20:08 What would Koala Solomon do? Burn this house down. I can't take it anymore. I fucking had it, okay? I've already fucking had it. It's episode two. Okay? Break up already because there's only so much of this I can take. I hope this whole thing is fast-tracked where they get married in a week and then they're like messy divorced people, you know, fighting until they both crash down on the chandelier like at the end of War of the Roses by episode 6.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Yeah. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappence commercial. In the 1980s, a rose swept the country. Hey Mike, I really like this white Zinfandel. Well good, good. Now put it down, I'm going to try another one. White Zin became America's top selling wine. But most don't know that this sweet drink has a sour history.
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Starting point is 00:21:31 Welcome to Blood Vines. You can binge listen to Blood Vines exclusively and ad free on Wondery Plus. Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app, Apple podcasts or Spotify. At 24, I lost my narrative or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics.
Starting point is 00:21:55 I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up. They connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that helped them feel a little more hopeful.
Starting point is 00:22:28 Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So the guys come back and they're like, honey, we're home. And then upstairs, Paige and Sierra are in their bed and Paige goes, downstairs could literally be on fire and I wouldn't give a fuck.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I hope downstairs catches on fire. So, um, yeah, Sierra's like, yeah, I wouldn't give a fuck either. And then Lindsay's trying to do the bed thing with Gabby and she's like, can I just say something? That was so weird that Carl didn't say anything. She's like, yeah, like why did you even decide to come back? Him and his like big ass teeth and his non-Alk lover boy
Starting point is 00:23:15 is continuing contributing nothing to the party. He's like not even going to like pick up girls. And she's like, yeah, like Carl coming back to the house, that's a choice, but like Carl coming back to the house. That's a choice. But like, Lindsay coming back to the house is also a choice. It's just like a lot of choices that I don't really understand. Like, what show is this? What are we what are we shooting this year? So Gabby's like, whatever, you're both boring. So she leaves. And then in Lexi's
Starting point is 00:23:43 room, Jesse's there. And he's like, koala, koala. He's like, oh my god, we ain't free yet, koala hug. And she climbs him like a tree and gives him the old fashioned bachelor hug. Yeah, he's like, sorry, I'm like a little bit slimy because I have moisturizer on. He's like, yes, slime me up, slime me up, which I think may be the new put your weight on me.
Starting point is 00:24:06 Slime me up, bro. So they are hugging and it's annoying. She's like, yeah, what's the boys doing? He's like, good, I'm a little drunk. She's like, are you? He's like, yeah, is that shocking? So they get into bed and everything and they start talking and then meanwhile, Carl's downstairs making a steak
Starting point is 00:24:22 and everything, like a giant, a giant rack of Tomahawks. This is like some Flintstone shit happening downstairs. That must have cost like $300. Yeah, it's a lot. It was huge. Furnished by Uber Eats, just in case anybody's wondering. I saw it on the credits. I did notice that.
Starting point is 00:24:37 So she's like, oh my God, Carl, did you see how much fucking meat this is, Carl? Man and their meat, am I right? So then back in Lexi's room, they're doing their whole Bachelor thing. They did the koala hug, and now's the part where Jesse announces that he's gonna give her the robe, which is going through his trauma, which that's what they do on The Bachelor.
Starting point is 00:25:00 When it's time to bang somebody, or at least make out and stay on the show for another week, you gotta bring out the trauma. And I feel like he wasted it. I feel like it was too quick. Well, but she had hers. She was ready. So she has a J tattooed
Starting point is 00:25:16 or maybe it's a necklace or something, but he was like, oh, what was a J stand for? Is that for Jesse? And she's like, no, it's my best friend who passed away, Jeremy. And she talks about how she's never had someone that close to her die. And she was like, you know, she talks about how,
Starting point is 00:25:31 what it was like to go through that. I was very sad, you know? And she says that he was like a model and that like, you know, when she was young, when she was like 15, people wouldn't believe in her. But now she was, he was like, you go out there and you get it, you're like, you're Lexi Wood, go for it. So she went like.
Starting point is 00:25:47 He told me, you, you're Lexi Wood. I don't know why that part made me laugh. It was a very serious part. Because it's ridiculous, I'm sorry. But I just liked that reason. He was the first person who told me, you're Lexi Wood. I was like, did you never have roll call in school? I mean, at the very least you had somebody ask, Lexi Wood?
Starting point is 00:26:10 Lexi Wood? Lexi Wood? Now I really want to fully dive into every emotion and koala hug like it's the best thing ever. Then Jessie goes, Now I wanna dance like nobody's watching. I live, I love so loudly now. I'm like, oh my God, you're loving a little too.
Starting point is 00:26:29 Loudly, I have to say. Can you hear? Can you love on mute, please? So now Jessie tells her about his testicular cancer, which was very scary. And they're basically bonding, they have trauma bonding here. And so they make out.
Starting point is 00:26:46 Just leads to the kiss. Guys, nothing gets me hornier than my best friend dying and somebody else having cancer. I'm like, yeah, time to bone. So they do that and then they don't bone. They just make out. And then they decide that they officially like each other. Dun, dun, dun.
Starting point is 00:27:02 It's a fish. So then Lindsay goes into the kitchen where Carl is washing dishes. Like a never ending, We like each other. Dum dum dum. It's a fish. So then Lindsay goes into the kitchen where Carl is washing dishes, like a never ending, I think that Carl intentionally made dishes dirty so that way he could do dishes for the rest of the evening. And- He's also so addicted to emotional turmoil
Starting point is 00:27:16 because this is the set where everything happens in Carl and Lindsay's relationship. Like it's all in the kitchen. You know, all of their main, and you know, they've had some scenes other places, but most of their main emotional work is done in the kitchen. And so Carl is still stuck in the kitchen this whole trip, cooking, doing dishes, doing more dishes,
Starting point is 00:27:35 kicking people out of the kitchen so he can stay in the kitchen because he cannot resolve anything unless it's done with Lindsay in the kitchen. Yes. So, you know, Lindsay comes in and Wes says hi to her. And Carl just is like, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub, scrub. And he's like, hey, Lindsay, for lunch, lunch.
Starting point is 00:27:50 And he's like, it was good. It was good. Jessie is crazy. And they're just sort of talking. It's just patter. But clearly, Carl is there and Lindsay is there. And they're not addressing each other. So then Carl is basically like, Wes goes out, Kyle goes off to like fix something with a speaker
Starting point is 00:28:06 or something like that. Well, I like when Kyle does. Yeah, I mean, Jessie's already in a relationship after like 24 hours. I mean, is that just what happens when you're six, five? I mean, God, how do tall guys live? And she's like, I'm here, like it works for some people. Because of course, Lindsay is the queen
Starting point is 00:28:22 of knowing somebody for five minutes. I mean, look, she's having a baby with this guy already. She was just with Carl last summer. So she's like, hey, don't knock until you try it, shorty. So then finally, Kyle, it's just Carl and Lindsay in the kitchen. So Carl goes, hey, Lindsay. She goes, hey, Carl.
Starting point is 00:28:40 How are you? I'm good. Just wanted to congratulate you. Thank you. I Sorry, sorry, I didn't get a chance to say anything earlier. I just figured out wait a second You didn't get a chance you were literally standing above her while she was in a pool and you just chose not to but like It's just the way he phrases thing. Oh, I didn't get a chance to say hi No, no, you literally had the biggest chance to say hello. And just the, well, she didn't say hello either, you know,
Starting point is 00:29:07 to his- Yeah, but it's on him. He walked in, it's up to him. He's on, he walked in and he's saying hello to everyone. It's on him to say hello. So the energy in here was cracking me up because Carl is clearly freaking out and Lindsay does not care. Like she, not only not cares,
Starting point is 00:29:24 she's so icked out by this guy now and she's doing the thing where she's picking up trash very slowly and just looking at Carl like, he's like, hey Lindsay, she's like, hey Carl. So congratulations, she's like, it's okay. It's a big room setting, Kyle, I'm sure you were nervous. I mean, yeah, I mean, a little nervous. I just, but I'm genuinely happy for you.
Starting point is 00:29:46 And she just like throws something in the trash and stares at him. And he's like, oh, yeah. So, you know, I didn't get a chance to say anything earlier. And she's like, yeah, well, these cupcake wrappers aren't gonna throw themselves out. And I appreciate that. And in fairness, I did say on the basketball courts
Starting point is 00:30:04 last summer, who knows where I'll meet this summer. And then we see a flashback to the basketball court where she's like, who knows what's gonna happen next summer? Like I might be pregnant, fingers crossed. And here we are, back to president. He's like, yeah, here you are. And so Kyle is like listening in, of course, pretending to do stuff with the speakers.
Starting point is 00:30:22 And she's, hmm, but thank you. He's like, you're welcome. I appreciate that. Of course. Kyle, why are you listening in? You know you're always, you're always pretending like you're doing stuff with the speaker, I can see you.
Starting point is 00:30:36 He's the least subtle person. Kyle just stands there looking around, making faces, like, oh my God, they're talking right now. Oh my God. So now it's 6.19 p.m. and Jesse has been made out with, so he's getting out of Lexi's bed and she goes, um, you like me?
Starting point is 00:30:56 Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe He's like, yeah, I'm following the makeup. So then, um, Wes, he goes into his room and Wes is like, how's your girlfriend, bro? She's like, yeah, she's good. We had the talk. You did not. Yeah, you did not. It's pretty serious, but not like the talk, just like the trauma talk. We've trauma bonded. It was great. Yeah. So then, uh, Sierra and Paige are still in bed and Sierra's like, I'm like scared of how much I don't want to be here. I know. It's like being in South Carolina. I know. It's like, I'll cry. It's like because of, because of West, she's like, yeah, no, it's scary. And she's like, oh, and so Sierra tells us that in December,
Starting point is 00:31:36 she was having a lot of family issues and she spent, she wound up going to Costa Rica for over Christmas. And she talked about some of this to West and like, he was the person that she confided into confided to and like shared things with and then he went and put that in the New York Times article and and he put in the article that like you didn't feel like we were each other's people and that was she said it was just like really hurtful reading everything in the article. I'm kind of confused about this like look, look, I think Wes is an ass, you know,
Starting point is 00:32:07 and especially after that whole reunion and stuff, but I'm kind of confused, like, why can't he say in an article, we just weren't each other's person? They had already broken up, right? I'm legit confused about the timeline. I think what she's saying here is that she was going through tough stuff and she was sharing with them, despite the fact that they had broken up.
Starting point is 00:32:27 I'm not sure that they did break up. Yeah, they did break up by then, but she still was sharing with him stuff. And then he went and said to the New York Times, like, like we aren't each other's people, even though when they were sharing, it's like, yeah, we may have broken up, but like we're still each other's people. I, that's what I think. That's what I think she means by it. That he basically acted like she was some sort of like,
Starting point is 00:32:47 like person, well, we didn't really click as people, it turns out. And she's like, but I was sharing with you deep shit. Yeah, so this was right after the reunion, I think. So he's basically, because I guess my question is, he got ripped apart at the reunion, and rightly so, but then he did this article after the reunion, right? I think so.
Starting point is 00:33:07 So that's why I'm confused. Like why would you, why would it, like I think he's allowed to do an interview with somebody and they of course are gonna ask him, the whole, his whole storyline and all of, the only reason he was in the New York Times is because he had this like scandal, quote unquote scandal with Sierra.
Starting point is 00:33:23 So of course they're gonna be like, why'd you break up with Sierra? I mean, I thought, I don't know for me. I think what it comes down to, I think it, I think ultimately what it comes down to is she really dug him. He, you know, he pursued her really hard and she was closed off to him because she didn't want to get her. No, no, I know all that. I'm just saying like the timeline of the reunion. I'm just doing a spiel. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:33:42 Can you do a spiel? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'm just doing a spiel. I'm just doing a spiel. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can you do a spiel? Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, I'm saying she really, she opened herself up to him and then he basically breaks her heart and then he gets to have two articles on one of the most prestigious newspapers in the country to that base, you know, that basically he gets to control the narrative.
Starting point is 00:34:03 Like, oh yeah, we just weren't each other's people. Yeah, it just didn't work out. And she's sitting here, like no one's asking her, no one's writing articles for her, no one's asking to see what she thinks. New York Times is not asking her when he was one of the fuckboys. So she could say it was about the Costa Rica stuff
Starting point is 00:34:17 or whatever. I think she's basically like, you got to go out there and repair your image when you really hurt me. Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Yeah, that makes sense, I'll buy that. So then, because like the hating him, I totally get that. I just don't understand the specificity of the New York Times thing and the timing of it.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Like if it was after the reunion and they ripped him apart, why wouldn't he say in an interview, we just weren't each other's person? So that's the only part I'm confused about. As far as him hurting her feelings. I totally get that but yeah, the way I totally get I think she's not totally a moat part of me suspect She's not honest with herself, right because she like fucking hates West but remember last episode She was like they're like would you they asked I forgot question They asked her something like would you get back together with him or whatever it was? And she was like, I'm not going to answer that.
Starting point is 00:35:05 I'm not going to answer that. And she even says later this episode, like, oh, like after I had that fight, after I confronted him, I almost wanted to kiss him. So I think that like, when she says, oh, I'm upset because of this Costa Rica thing, um, I think still maybe what's really driving the frustration is that he just got to make himself look like a nice guy who just wanted to break up with someone. But I don't know, I'm a little bit with you,
Starting point is 00:35:32 I'm a little confused. So then next up, let's see, so now in the kitchen again, Karl and Mander there and Karl walks in and Karl's like, oh, clear the air guys, clear the air. Basically said, like I congratulated her and then I was like, didn't have a chance to, didn't have a chance to. And then I was like, didn't have a chance to. And then her response was really, really, like it was actually touching. She threw some Cup Cac wrappers away and then she reminded me on the basketball court that she would be pregnant by this time, so I lose.
Starting point is 00:36:07 So it was great, it was great. Cut to like two hours from now eating dinner, like hey everyone, I've made a prepared everyone a tomahawk steak, except for Lindsay, sorry, I didn't have a chance to make you a steak. I don't wanna make you uncomfortable, so. I don't know if the baby is vegetarian or not. So I just didn't want to make it uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:36:28 I was afraid of you getting angry at me. So he says, oh God, he tells us, I just, I feel so much better because I said what I wanted to say. And I just, it felt genuine. Seemed like she really received it. And now I guess I'm guessing I was beat red and shaking. Carl, you said what you said. All you said was congratulations.
Starting point is 00:36:44 You didn't spare your soul. But you were beat red and shaking. Carl, you said what you said. All you said was congratulations. You didn't spare your soul. But you were beat red and you were shaking. So then it cuts to Lindsay's interview and she's like, oh, Carl will continue to be terrified of me. So he's gonna be walking on eggshells around me all summer and I don't care if he's there or not. Like literally, physically, emotionally, mentally, taco contractly, man, emotionally, mentally,
Starting point is 00:37:05 taco contractally, manally, babally, literally moved on. So. I'm feeling like, okay, that's like behind me now. Like, you know, it took me three hours to drive out here and then like another full night or full afternoon. And then I realized like, I just had to say, congratulations. Oh, okay, it's behind me.
Starting point is 00:37:27 I did it. I did it. I did it. Now I can go have my summer. And now like that door, that door of saying congratulations to someone's clothes, I don't have to ever do that again. Oh, it was so scary.
Starting point is 00:37:38 Yeah. So now it's dinner time and everybody's coming down and like it's becoming kind of a housewife show and that the first five minutes of a housewife show and that the first five minutes of every scene now is like oh my god i love your outfit oh my god i love your outfit do you like my outfit i like i love your outfit so they're doing that jesse's doing that at the moment and then um siara kind of falls while getting ready in her room which is funny she's out of nowhere she's getting ready she's She's like, what the fuck? And then Lindsay is helping Wes bring wine to the table and everything.
Starting point is 00:38:11 And Lindsay's like, well, you seem quiet. And he's like, yeah, like whatever. I'm just trying to figure it out. I'm just assessing. So he's going to be, oh, he's hurt. The poor fuck boy, you know, has to deal with his consequences. And he's like, I want, I just want to have fun,
Starting point is 00:38:28 but I want to be respectful. And if that means shutting the fuck up for the weekend, I guess that's kind of what it is. So I'll just be quiet here in the corner. And she's like, I mean, whatever went down between the two of you, and like, I don't know the whole story, and normally I would choose the man sign,
Starting point is 00:38:43 but she's hurt. And he's like, yeah, like no, like a hundred. And she and like, I don't know the whole story. And normally I would choose the man sign, but she's hurt." And he's like, yeah, like, no, like a hundred. And she's like, yeah, and she got hurt because of your actions or your inactions, right? And he's like, correct. She's like, okay, so just be like, look, I'm gonna be on the same page so we can enjoy our summers, that's it.
Starting point is 00:39:00 And he's like, that's like so straight forward and like, cool, but like, I really need to be more of a victim. So could I say it? Could you maybe like order a cross on Amazon that I could just kind of splay myself out on while I say that here? I was thinking about this. Um, cause I just, I'm afraid that, I'm afraid that I don't look like enough of a victim. So how about if I say, Hey, Sierra, when I was talking to that person from the New York Times, I thought it was someone who was asking what time it was in New York. That's it. I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:39:33 It was an article. It's like, it wasn't my fault. Do you think that'll fly? So dinner's right. Yeah. Dinner is served. Dinner served. I'm sorry if anybody's uncomfortable. I'm getting so good at this. I'm getting so good at this Wow, it was like a lot of my chest cuz like for a long time I was like well dinner ever be served am I gonna actually serve dinner and now like I served it just feels like I Can finally enjoy my summer now So Carl has to make an announcement on his microphone cuz not everybody's there So he's like, uh, ladies and gentlemen, please report to the dining room. Dinner is served.
Starting point is 00:40:06 And Carl's like, Oh my God, who the fuck gave Carl a microphone? He's like, it's $400. $400. Thank you. So, um, so then kind of like that guy in motorcycle class who doesn't know how to ride, but shows up with, uh, you know, a hundred thousand dollar Harley. It's like, good girl. Yeah. Well, you know, back when I was Harley. It's like, good girl. Yeah. Well, you know, back when I was going to college, when I was in my frat, we would have fraternity formals every term, and there was always this one DJ,
Starting point is 00:40:33 I think his name was like DJ Lou Fucci or something, and he would, he was from New Hampshire. Yes, DJ Lou Fucci. Mm, mm, mm. I think his name was Lou Fucci. And he would, you know, and he would be there with his press play and everything and he would get on the mic the exact same way as Kyle. Like, now ladies and gentlemen, go to the dance floor
Starting point is 00:40:54 for the Sigma Phi Epsilon special dance. I was like, okay, so maybe it's just like a New Hampshire DJ thing. This is just what, it's just in the water of New Hampshire to DJ like this. No, that's part of the job, especially at like weddings and stuff. You are the announcer who's like and now Mother of the bride the dance with the mother of the bride. Let's check it out everybody. Oh I really hope his name is Lou foochi. I got a file. I love that name Lou foochi Text text friends.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Lou Fuji, yes. So everybody comes and Jess is like, girl, you look great. That's like, you all look amazing. So then now they're trying to, you know, they're just making small talk at dinner. Kyle's putting salt on Sierra's steak and she's like, are you trying to be salt bae?
Starting point is 00:41:48 Yeah, man. And he's like, cause he's like, he's like, let it get like do like a little slalom course down his arm off of his elbow into her stick. She's like, that's not how you do that. Yeah. He's doing the fancy, you know, the fan is his name salt bae. I guess that's his name. Yeah. But the thing was that Kyle was doing it incorrectly at first. He was just sort of like, he was just like elbowing the salt in. I guess that's his name. Yeah, but the thing was that kyle was doing it incorrectly at first He was just sort of like he was just like elbowing to salt in and then he finally you do the thing I don't really i've never gotten the appeal of the salt bay thing, but whatever
Starting point is 00:42:14 That's my hot take guys so Clip it make it a clip Put that on the gram, okay I love that you're starting you're starting an internet war with DJ Lou Fucci and Salt Bae all in the same episode. You're just like, burn it to the ground. Ben doesn't give a fuck today.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Thursday, February 20th, the day that Ben stopped giving a fuck. Yeah, DJ Lou Fucci, what an icon. So then Jesse's like, so what'd you guys do today? And Gabby's like, we talked about you the whole time. It was way worse than it sounds. Cause like, yeah, I've had flipped a car because when you take this type of burden on thinking, you gotta do ways with the steak. Cause like, y'all feel it. I was like really scary. Really scary. making those things. Oh. This is a... Commercials.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Here comes one right now. Everyone out there should listen to Small Town Murder. You really should, mainly because you never know who's next door. And that's the point of this show, really. You never know who is next door. You never know what's gonna happen on Small Town Murder. That's what makes it so wonderful.
Starting point is 00:43:29 The only thing you do know is that people are gonna die, and we're probably gonna make jokes about it. That's it. That's all we can promise you. We dig into these towns, we see what makes them tick, from local legends to scandals they may have had, and of course, the biggest scandals of all, horrible murders that take place there. And we put our, what I feel is completely appropriate comedic spin on the whole thing. And you know you need a laugh right now. So get in there, listen
Starting point is 00:43:53 to Small Town Murder, follow Small Town Murder on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Small Town Murder early and ad free right now on Wondery Plus. So they're making a lot of steak small talk and cooking small talk. And so Lindsey just goes, I'ma cheers, thank you Carl for dinner. I'm not feeling uncomfortable. He's like, oh, okay, good,
Starting point is 00:44:14 cause I was gonna ask. Okay. And Paige is just like, cheers to honestly how mature we are because God, we're so comfortable being boring, aren't we? And the fact that we can all sit at dinner with no plot lines is a little bit awkward, but it's not super awkward, right?
Starting point is 00:44:28 So are we gonna start fighting now or what? Time's a ticket, time is money. Okay, time is money. You know, it makes me really appreciate that all those years of having to sit at the same table with Danielle really prepared us for lots of awkward moments around food. So congratulations, guys, we learned something.
Starting point is 00:44:44 And West is like, this is like the least awkward I've felt so far. It's like, I'm talking about you actually. So yeah, we do a good job. Sorry, sorry. I have an update. I texted my friend and I said, what was the name of our fraternity formal DJ again?
Starting point is 00:45:04 Lou Fucci. And my friend said, yep was the name of our fraternity formal DJ again, Lou Fucci? And my friend said, yep, probably still in prison. Lou Fucci. DJ Lou Fucci's in prison. And now yard time is over. Let's please all head back to the pens. Yard time is over. Oh no.
Starting point is 00:45:23 Oh no. Here's a headline. Ex-Nightclub owner sentenced in murder for hire scheme. Oh, DJ Lou Fucci. Oh no. That was an awkward bar mitzvah. Wow. Wow.
Starting point is 00:45:39 Okay, we'll circle back to that. His defense was, yeah, I murdered him with my beats. Murder one dance floor. Everyone please get to the dance floor. Okay, I'm gonna have to look into that. So Carl's like, well, I mean, it could get more awkward. It's only Friday. So Amanda's like, Kyle's like, what's awkward? And Jesse's like, I mean, look,
Starting point is 00:46:10 they're sitting across from each other, which is cool. Like Carl and Lindsay are still on opposite sides. I mean, Wes and Sierra are sitting opposite each other, but like Carl and Lindsay are still on the opposite side of the table, so I guess there's that. She goes, yeah, and Wes and Sierra still can't make eye contact, so that's fine. Yeah, I'm not gonna's that. She goes, yeah, and Weston Sierra still can't make eye contact. So that's fine. Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Cause like, yeah, well, what do you think about, by the way, what do you think about his hairdo these days? What do you think about West's hairdo? And she goes, it sucks. I was like, thank you. Thank you for just saying it on camera. No, it doesn't count because she still dated him when his hair was stupid and she didn't say a thing.
Starting point is 00:46:44 You know what I mean? Like it doesn't count just because you say it once you hair was stupid and she didn't say a thing. You know what I mean? It doesn't count just because you say it once you're broken up. If you said it when you were together, I would have respected that comment. His hair last year was stupid, but it wasn't like, to me it wasn't glaringly stupid. It just was like, okay, whatever.
Starting point is 00:46:58 But this haircut is beyond stupid. This is a terrible haircut. It's painful to watch. This is his tequila Katie orange haircut season essentially. Do you think this is worse than the combed forward broccoli hair? Come on. 100%. Whereas Paige would say 1000%.
Starting point is 00:47:18 1000. 1000% So Jesse's like, I mean, I thought it was awkward before, right? And Sierra says, it's so awkward because people try to be nice and then they put out a lot of press about shit. But like, you know what? Why don't you keep the same energy as your articles and shit, especially your New York Times article? Gabby's like, can we have wine?
Starting point is 00:47:39 We have wine, wine, wine, wine. Gabby's just scrunching down in her chair. So she's like, yeah, like what about sending out a text warning that you're going to drop another New York Times article saying, oh, actually I didn't like her and I should have just said that at the reunion because then that would have read better as opposed to like what I said at the reunion because like that was a beta ass move. So then West is like quiet and he goes, he's like, well, we can have a conversation if you want to.
Starting point is 00:48:07 So now he's doing this thing like, like you're embarrassing me in public when he put out, he did a whole article that went out to the nation. So she's like, well, we're having a conversation and, West, are you saying you want to have a conversation privately, can I help you out here a little bit? He's like, yeah, mom, that's what I want. And Kyle's like, uh, it's obviously I want to have a conversation privately. Can I help you out here a little bit?" He's like, Yeah, mom, that's what I want. And Kyle's like,
Starting point is 00:48:27 Oh, it's obviously I want to witness it. Cause like there's only so many speakers I can pretend to fix. So just do it here. Also before, when I was like, well, I don't understand why Sierra's so mad. Well, when she puts it like this, if he really said in this article,
Starting point is 00:48:39 like I didn't really like her and I should have just said that at the reunion. Did he say, now listen, I know I could just very easily read the article, but I'm not gonna give him that. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that to my brain cells. I've depleted so many of my brain cells over the years with using, abusing, losing, and boozing. I'm not gonna give him any more of my brain cells. He's not worth it. But if he did say that in the in the article, okay, now I can totally see why she'd be pissed, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:07 Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So Kyle's basically like, just like nip this in the bud, you know, so she goes, well, okay, fine. So obviously we met up after the reunion and I feel like that was fine and settled and we could have been good. And he goes, yeah, and I've been respectful. And she goes, no, I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:49:24 You care so much about the perception of everything. And meanwhile, how embarrassing that you publish an article to reiterate that you don't like me anymore. I mean, if you don't feel the same way, let a bitch know, I'll be done with it, but it's just so fucking weak. It's a bitch ass move. But now I'm confused again, because I thought they were already broken up by this part.
Starting point is 00:49:41 I'm so confused. Like if you are, meanwhile, if you publish an article to reiterate you don't like me anymore, I mean if you don't feel the same way, let a bitch know. But I thought you guys were already there. Anyway, whatever. Team Sierra still, I'm just confused about timelines. So West is like, well, I don't think that I meant for it to be taken that way. And she's like, oh, okay. Then, well, you're a fucking loser anyway. With stupid hair, loser. Your hair's loser too, stupid. And he's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:50:09 And she tells us, you know, I'm talking, I'm getting even more pissed because you're saying nothing and you didn't think to come a little bit prepared based on the press you were doing. Like, I literally have nothing to work with. So Jessie's like, well, it's like, I'm trying to do a scene here.
Starting point is 00:50:23 I'm trying to do a scene.. I'm trying to do a scene. Yeah. Like whatever didn't really work out so well. And Sierra's like, yeah, well that wasn't, that wasn't, guys, that wasn't that intensive a dinner. I mean, we've had more intense dinners than that. Like, come on. Yeah. Like literally Lindsay and Carl were engaged last year now look at them.
Starting point is 00:50:41 Paige was just like, okay, next. And Gabby goes, and she's pregnant. Don't forget that. And she's like, I love this steak. So like they're kind of lame-os. So don't even, this is like not even as intense as it could be. And Lindsay's like, okay, well, I have to take a shit
Starting point is 00:50:59 and I don't have too often because I'm constipated because I'm pregnant. And this is like the first time in a month I have to take a shit. So do I have to fight right now? And they're like, oh, just go poop. Jesus Christ. She's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:51:12 Well, that was like a real load off. No pun intended, but like I just, now we can close the door on Lindsay being able to shit. So it feels really good. Should we clean up and play some music? Yeah, party carl's here guys. Yeah, I'm gonna be able to enjoy the summer like really a lot. So it feels really good. Should we clean up and play some music? Ah, party Carl's here, guys. Yeah, I'm gonna be able to enjoy the summer,
Starting point is 00:51:26 like really a lot. Ha. So Sierra is in emotional turmoil, so she joins Carl in the kitchen, because that's where you go when you're in relationship turmoil. And he's like, oh, thank you, Sierra, but I'm still trying to figure out how my,
Starting point is 00:51:40 I hope you're not feeling uncomfortable, was taken. So I need some time alone in here to do dishes. So you can leave now." And she's like, don't have to ask me twice, stupid. Yeah. So you're dressed way too well young lady. So Kyle is, then Kyle's like, wow.
Starting point is 00:51:57 So Kyle goes up to Wes and goes, well, I can feel how much it took for her to say that. And you going sounds just not so great. And he's like, yeah, but I'm not gonna fight with her in front of people. Bro, you're on a reality show. It's part of the job description. Yeah. And Carl's like, I get it. I don't have the conflict. Well, you know, I mean, silence though, it's probably not the way to go. You're wearing a mic for a reason. Okay. And Jesse's like, yeah, it's not going to make it go away. You just have to like talk, bro.
Starting point is 00:52:25 So he's like, well, I'm not here to tell anyone how to feel or how to react to something, but I know I'm not some evil dude who tried to ruin Sierra's life at reunion and all the fucking backlash. I was like, all alone for all that. And I was fucking freaked out in panic mode, you know? And someone asked me if I wanted to defend myself.
Starting point is 00:52:40 And I said, yeah. And I thought it was a relatively gentle article, but she read in a, I guess it didn't land the same. Yeah, I'm sure you were in bed the whole time with people with fans of the show sucker. Come on. You were doing appearances every night. Stop acting like, oh my God, it was so hard for me.
Starting point is 00:53:01 I had to go through all of that alone. Yeah. So then the girls were all the only blanket I had to go through all of that alone. Yeah. So then the girls were all piling into it. The only blanket I had was the New York Times. Yeah. And it was the digital edition, so it was really cold. I don't think he did it to hurt Sierra,
Starting point is 00:53:17 but I think he did it to serve his ego, and I don't think he realizes that when you serve, this is what happens with people who are like that, is they don't realize the sort of collateral damage that they cause. So Paige is like, all the girls are in a bed. Paige is like, well, that was great. That was a fun time.
Starting point is 00:53:34 And Lex is like, yeah. That was so fun. That was amazing. If they raised the monthly price for whatever that was, I would totally pay it. I would like and subscribe. I love nothing more than watching a man squirm. It's amazing. That's why every time I'm sitting in Charleston,
Starting point is 00:53:52 I wake Craig up with an algebra question. And then kind of like, ladies and gentlemen, report to the awkward dance floor. No longer calling it club send it, I see. Just the awkward dance floor. No longer calling it club send it I see. Just the awkward dance floor. So they go down there, they start gathering down there and then the girls are getting ready and Amanda's like wait guys apparently he was at lunch
Starting point is 00:54:16 and talking about Lexi the whole time. Like Jesse's so in love. He was like it's crazy that I was single last year and this year I'm not. And Paige is like it's been 24 hours. You met job Jesus. I may have to make another man squirm already. So then they all go to go to the bar. They go out, they drink that fun. And then they come back. Lindsay comes back, Lindsay went out to
Starting point is 00:54:40 her credit, Lindsay went out, she's like, I'm still gonna go out. And, and then they all get into bed and everything. And they're doing the like the usual late night stuff of making snacks and like French toast sticks and everything like that. And then Sierra, um, as in her room with page, my favorite was Amanda's. I think we need French toast sticks. Wow. She's like shaking the box of French Toast Sticks. Amanda's really growing on me this year.
Starting point is 00:55:08 She's really speaking to everything I love. She's having a good cut this season. And in fact, she said something later this episode that I really liked. So, Sierra's like, obviously I didn't do anything the first half of the day, but like the second half really wore me out. Sorry, you lost it.
Starting point is 00:55:23 I'm glad that's why I decided to stop my summary. I'm like, and so finally we end at Paige and Sierra and Sierra says the following, Ronnie, you have the floor. But it's funny, this is the part where she's like, I know this is toxic, but like even the sick part of me is like, even though I just cursed you out, like, and I made a whole scene, like, let's make it. You could literally only say this to me, but I so fucking
Starting point is 00:55:50 get it. Let me wait, let me put this in a different phrase. 1000%. And so Sierra is saying, you know, like, of course, like, don't you think there's part of me that like wants to hug you and tell you it's gonna be be fine and comb your hair? Yeah, but my gut reaction is that way. But at this point, I can't figure out if he even cares and feels bad or if he's just concerned with how he looks to the public. That's all he cares about.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Don't get dragged back into this by his whininess, okay? I think as a nurse too, she's probably wanting to wanting to like help heal him and fix him, you know, but you can't Yeah, some people are just too hit by the they're too hurt, you know Sometimes you just gotta push them off the bed and say someone else needs this bed That's right. Take the lessons that you've learned from Austin do not get sucked back in. Yeah, then Weston and Jesse are back and they're eating like nuggets and everything. And like Jesse really wants to like go into Lexi's room. He's like, but I can't just go barging in there.
Starting point is 00:56:51 Like even for me, her boyfriend. So then he like calls her, but she doesn't answer. So he leaves a voicemail. He's like, oh my God, even her voicemail is cute. Oh, hey, sorry, I didn't mean to leave you a voicemail. Can't wait for a koala hug. Okay, bye. So now, Kyle and Amanda are in their room, and Kyle's like, I'm just proud of Lindsay and Carl,
Starting point is 00:57:11 you know, because they were like at the table, and they talked about history. Like, it made me happy, you know? Like, we're a dysfunctional family, but like, it takes away from what the summer is all about, you know? Me getting shitfaced and pissing all over bushes at four in the morning.
Starting point is 00:57:27 It's just weird because she's like pregnant before us. She's like, no, huh? No, it's not weird. If Carl Lindsay had gotten married, I had a very, very strong feeling that they would have gotten pregnant before us. It doesn't matter. It's like, ah, you're right. So Amanda says like, you know, there was a time when I thought I would be pregnant by 25 And then when you're when you're 19 25 sounds great And then when you're 25 having kids by 30 sounds great But then when you're 30 you realize I'm still a baby And so she's really focused on her mental health and she's taking all sorts different
Starting point is 00:57:55 Medications and some you can get pregnant on and some you can't and she's just more focused on finding something that works for her And finding one that she can take. And if she can get pregnant, possibly fine, but like she's focusing on herself first. And I am like standing ovation for Amanda. That was a wonderful moment I think that she had and good for her for prioritizing herself before anything else. Girl, I think they're gonna have to come out
Starting point is 00:58:18 with sperm breathalyzer before she even lets one of those things into her. I mean, that thing's just gonna be tripping all over the place in there, you know? You're not ready. So good for you for noticing. So then Carl's like, oh, I have to go to CBS. Oh, should I come back with bagels for everybody?
Starting point is 00:58:36 And Amanda's like, oh my God, that might be magical. You can actually serve Lindsay a representation of your personality and just like something that seems kind of good, but is just a center of void. As a whole, and it seems like it's everything based on the seeds, but it's just a whole. Inside is just vacuous.
Starting point is 00:59:00 Hey, oh, so everyone, I got everyone bagels. Oh, Lindsay, I didn't have a chance to get you a bagel, but here's a nice long receipt that you can sort of turn into a bagels from CVS. At the bottom it says, I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable. Oh God, oh God, going to CVS, that like took a lot. I like wasn't sure if I should say hi at CVS, but I did, that was felt good.
Starting point is 00:59:21 So then Paige is still in bed and she's like, oh my God, when we were at dinner last night, I don't know why, but it was so funny when Lindsay was like, thanks for dinner, Carl. Paige is so messy. She literally doesn't even care what's happening. She's like, I started some mess and it was so great. And Sierra's like, yeah, thanks for the dinner,
Starting point is 00:59:38 almost ex-husband. She's like, yeah, you'd have to drug me to say anything to someone that I used to be engaged to. I would never even speak to them. Heavy narcotics. So by the way, how are you feeling? You look like you're not happy right now. You're scowling. She's yeah, well, I said what I needed to say. And honestly, I'm fine. I don't know how he feels. He doesn't he doesn't he doesn't ever say anything. He's like, Yeah, that's the thing. Like, I don't get that so stupid. And the haircut. Gross.
Starting point is 01:00:03 So it was like, yeah, but legit, if anyone said my hair looked bad, she's like, I thought I hit him where it hurt. And Paige is like, I would cry. I love how they look at things because Paige is like, anybody I break up with or any, because she said this for years, right? Like, you would never see me talking to an ex. And I love that she's so dead. It's like, once you break up with Paige, you're dead to Paige forever. The end, you know?
Starting point is 01:00:29 But if you talk about her, her she'll cry. It's like, I'll see you later. Like I would die. That's how to get emotion out of Paige. So then Lindsay comes walking in and there's like big sort of like overall things and Amanda's like, so Lindsay, have you started buying pregnancy clothes or are you just managing to wear what you had? and Amanda's like, so Lindsay, have you started buying pregnancy clothes
Starting point is 01:00:46 or are you just managing to wear what you had? And she's like, great question. Feels like it's sort of a leading question. I feel like there's a trap, but yeah. I'm like, just getting clothes for me so far. These are just my own clothes. Like, okay. It's amazing how like mediocrely
Starting point is 01:01:00 you dress pregnant or non-pregnant. It's so consistent. Congratulations, Leslie. She's like, mm, okay, I'm gonna let you get away with that, guac lady. So then, Amanda and Kyle, wait, Kyle's outside getting ready. Oh, so now they're getting ready for their big party,
Starting point is 01:01:17 their big Fourth of July party. And Wes is like, are there bagels down there? And they're all sitting there waiting for the bagels, which I thought was funny, because I was like, you know Carl was taking forever. They're all sitting there. They've got their coffees out. They're on the kitchen island.
Starting point is 01:01:33 We're waiting for our bagels. Where is Carl? Because Carl's like, okay, I've got to make a choice. Sesame or poppy? What do people want? I don't know, there's a lot right now. It's very stressful. I'm going to call my mom. I'm gonna call my mom and her
Starting point is 01:01:46 and her pastor husband. Hi. I just am like just like a lot right now. It's like a lot of bagels to choose from and I'm just like not really sure which one to choose. It's like really rough. I've been through a lot and I'm really not sure what bagel to choose so I just broke up with the bagels and I left the check out. I'm just like so glad to like leave that behind me, literally like leave the bagels behind me and I could just like enjoy my summer. I was cracking up at West though
Starting point is 01:02:10 cause he comes down still all sad. He's like, hi guys, I just wanted to remind you I'm still like really sad about being here. Are there any bagels? And Sierra sees him and she goes, oh my God, now he's acting like someone fucking stole his goldfish. So they're gonna set up for this, like they're going to have a, they're setting up their party and everything. And West is outside with the guys and he's like, yeah,
Starting point is 01:02:33 it was really rough. And Kyle says, well, as awkward as it was last night, I know you were frustrated and I feel like there's going to be some opportunity today. So, cause I don't want you to have this awkward tension. It's kind of a bummer, man. So now West is like, I don't want to to have this awkward tension. It's kind of a bummer, man. So now West is like, I don't want to have a conversation with Ciara.
Starting point is 01:02:47 I'm scared, but I could go into any room last summer and I want to just kick down the door and just be fun. And now I don't feel that way this summer. I'm just like an outcast. Oh God. So he goes to sit next to Ciara. He's like, can I sit here? Am I like allowed? Should I go sit on the trashcan somewhere? And Lizzy's like, um, I'm sitting here. I'm sitting
Starting point is 01:03:11 here. So Paige is like, um, who's coming to this party? So everybody's talking about who they're bringing to the party. And Lizzy's like, um, well, guys, I'm not coming to the party because I don't know if you have Instagram, but it was a huge week for me on there because I announced my baby and my partnership with Clear Blue. So I'm gonna go celebrate that back home with a party called Clear Blue Pizza Beach. She's literally having a party to celebrate her Instagram announcement.
Starting point is 01:03:36 Carl's like, oh, Lindsey. This is so fucking Lindsey. She's like, I got 19,000 more followers and we're celebrating, sorry. I mean, the fact that Lindsay's not gonna be here for the 4th of July party, I mean, like, thank God. I can finally spread my wings and not have to worry about being disrespectful.
Starting point is 01:03:55 You will never see someone wash dishes with as much carefree energy as I will have. I'm single, I wanna meet someone, I wanna not talk to them, I wanna be a little scared and go back into the kitchen and be like, oh, safe place, safe place, I can't wait. Yeah, like I wanna do that. Basically starting over again.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Wow, what better place to find a healthy date than a raging alcohol infused party in the Hamptons. So then Gabby's like, I'm going with you too because my sister's in town. So of course you are. Yeah. Gabby, you need to stay and make your own life, Gabby. OK, you can only be used so long as Lindsey's crutch.
Starting point is 01:04:33 They all get thrown out. They all do. That ankle heals. So Carl is like, so everyone today is like classic battle of the sexes. And the boys are going to have this section of the lawn and the girls are gonna be over there and like our guests are gonna be like be voting today
Starting point is 01:04:47 on who has a better set up. The boys party, the girls party, just when you do cast your vote, I'm just gonna let people know, please just be like gentle and tender with it because there's like a lot of emotions happening here, thanks. Girls, if we're gonna win,
Starting point is 01:04:59 we have to like flirt with everyone. Oh! Oh! So they are gonna have a big competition. So then Paige FaceTimes Craig and she's like, chicken, what's up? And he's like, hey baby, just hanging by the pool, missing you.
Starting point is 01:05:16 Craig, you're gonna get skin cancer. Do you ever go inside? The only thing we've seen of Craig from the past year is being out in front of that. Now listen, that pool is something to be proud of. It's a gorgeous backyard, but you gotta go live, Craig. Go live. SPF bro, SPF bro.
Starting point is 01:05:32 So Paige is like, wow, it looks so freaking nice there. That was sarcasm. I'm in the Hamptons, I have my own pool and a nicer house. And Craig is like, wow, how's it going? It's good, it's just a little awkward the first night. Lindsay announced that she was pregnant and then Carl came the next day. And honestly, they were like more normal
Starting point is 01:05:46 than Ciara than Wes and Wes. So she's like really like, you know, she really lit up, lit into him and said that his hair was stupid and she's like, you're a fucking loser and your hair looks fucking stupid. It was actually really hilarious. Okay, Chicken, I think I wanna break out with you
Starting point is 01:05:58 by the end of the summer. So just thinking about that, putting that out there in the ether, what do you think? It's like, oh my God. Oh wow. That's a lot to take on. So he's like, well, they had so much promise. And she's like, well, when are you gonna come to the city?
Starting point is 01:06:14 He's like, well, I can't come until next weekend. This week has been really busy, but like I was hoping you could sneak away like during the week. And she goes, to come to you? Hold on, let me open my eye, Cal. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, hold on let me open my iCal no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no sorry i have a lot going on yeah i have a
Starting point is 01:06:32 sponsorship with abc airlines which stands for anywhere but charleston so i'll be flying all around the country to anywhere and she's like um mark the day because I'm going to say it. I feel bad for Craig. Okay, that's why you're getting out of me. Interview over. I'm a completely different person than the person he started dating three years ago. I'm busier, I'm not around as much. I have higher standards.
Starting point is 01:06:56 I've changed my mind about a lot of things like Craig, you know, like marriage and moving and a baby. I went from saying, ew, I never want to have a baby to, I never want to have a baby. That's a big change for me. Yeah, like, you know, she's basically saying, you know, I don't regret changing or having my wants changed. And I'm not going to apologize to it about it. But I do have to admit that like it sucks for him because I have changed. Like I have changed my mind on a lot of stuff, you know? And so then Lindsay and Gabby leave and now the decoration wars begin.
Starting point is 01:07:28 So the girls are planning and Carl comes over. He's like, oh, just here to grab a little non-alch, little non-alch. Something soft. And then Amanda's like scram. So then West goes up to Sierra's room. He's like, are you alone? And she's like, me, yeah, what do you want?
Starting point is 01:07:48 And so he's like, well, is this summer gonna be fucking awful? She goes, hmm, I don't think it's fucking awful. I mean, it's pretty hilarious watching the swarms. She's like, it's fun for me. Are you just gonna get a stupid haircut every week for me to mock, because I'm loving that. Great trend.
Starting point is 01:08:04 He's like, but last night I don't, I don't think felt like you were moving forward at all. It's like, yeah, because like every time I do something or confront you in front of everybody, you like give minimal response. And he's like, um, but like, we haven't even like talked since like December, January. And like, I thought we kind of had closure.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Uh, but the whole reunion was like, God, I mean, I just sounded like an idiot and I'm like trying to figure this out day by day. And like, I know I'm not the best out of it, but I'm just a boy, a boy at the part. I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to not make fun of his hair. So Sierra's like, well, you could have been completely deaded coming into the house, but like you're putting out all this press like post reunion when we could have just left it at the restaurant after we got drinks and you could have just left it at that.
Starting point is 01:08:53 It's like, yeah, but if I would have known that that's what if I would have known that talking shit about you on a national publication would have upset you, I never would have done it. If I had known that, I would have made it more peaceful. I wouldn't have fucking done the article. But I think I felt like in defense, like for so long that anytime someone was like, hey, wanna do an article? And she's like, yeah, no, no.
Starting point is 01:09:17 He basically starts to mutter about like, but people feel this way about me. And then that sets her off. And he wants to defend himself or whatever. And she's like, yeah, but that's what I'm saying. Like, you care what everybody else is saying, you know, like you're riding this riding this wave and like people don't know us. They don't know you when you're up, you're up.
Starting point is 01:09:35 They kick you while you're down. And that's just how it is. He goes, well, I'm learning that now. But like, you know, you don't really learn that until you get a New York Times article. So it's hard. It's not perfect I mean I fucked up and I'm trying to figure this out and apologize for saying things that hurt your feelings And I'm not even ever even trying to hurt you. It's just not my intentions if you know me I think you know I'm not trying to hurt you
Starting point is 01:09:57 I'm just you know just trying to be in the New York Times some more and I think one of the things that's the most annoying to her about it is when they when he kept trying to come on to her and stuff, she was like, Look, I were on a TV show, and I have already looked stupid on said TV show over a guy and I don't want you to make me look stupid. And so she was worried about public perception as well. That was kind of the point. She's like, I don't want to look stupid again. And then he not only did it and made her look stupid, but now he's turning around going, but now I look stupid on TV point. She's like, I don't want to look stupid again. And then he not only did it and made her look stupid,
Starting point is 01:10:25 but now he's turning around going, but now I look stupid on TV. And she's like, fuck off. Like I'm supposed to feel bad for you. I warned you that's what you were doing to me and you did it. You fucking did it. And now you're sitting here crying that everybody hates you. Yeah. So he's like, well, hopefully we can be around each other. And she said, she tells us, I think that me and West were genuinely friends. Yeah, and it made a lot harder when it ended because you're losing someone that you want
Starting point is 01:10:49 to tell everything to. And can I be friends with West again? I don't know. I really don't know what to tell you. He's like, but she thanks him for apologizing and everything. And it seems like they end on like a, on a conciliatory note, maybe they'll patch things up. But that's basically where the episode ends.
Starting point is 01:11:05 Yeah, good one. Them having a conversation. Very funny, very funny. Thanks everyone for being here. We got Southern Charm happening tomorrow. And we will catch you on the next episode. Go get those tickets for the Mounting Astoria Tour and we will see you on the road or in the podcast app.
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