Watch What Crappens - #2837 Top Chef S22E09 Part One: Mission Gayle-possible

Episode Date: May 12, 2025

This is part one of a two-part recap!The challenge on this week’s Top Chef: Destination Canada is Mission Impossible themed, so stunts will be done. How we gonna make hollandaise fly, people? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Trailer Trash bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Watcha Crappin's ad free right now. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. When a young woman named Desiree vanishes without a trace, the trail leads to Kat Torres, a charismatic influencer with millions of followers. But behind the glamorous posts and inspirational quotes, a sinister truth unravels. Binge all episodes of Don't Cross Cat early and ad-free on Wondery Plus. Well hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens everybody! I'm Ronnie and that's Ben over there. Hello Ben. Hi Ronnie, how's it going?

Did you drop a little pen down there by the side of your desk? Dropped some chapstick. Oh, slippery, slippery chapstick. You gotta be careful. Look at all these I've got. I've got aqua four. I've got raw sugar. I've got this chapstick.

Lots of, lots of lip stuff going on over here. I need a lip liner like Lexi. Watch what happens brought to you by the fan, by the, the, the chapstick family of products. Yes. Well, I've even got raw sugar natural lip balm. It's watermelon flavored in case Gail needs a snack. Everybody welcome to Top Chef Day here at Watch What Crap Ends.

We just got back from Texas. What a great weekend. Thanks for everybody coming to Texas shows. We had a great time meeting you and laughing with you. We are gonna be in Vegas this Thursday night. We're so excited. We're going to be recovering, recovering. We're going to be covering summer house.

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It's all there. So join us over at Patreon to get those and Crappin's on demand to get videos and video recaps for the first time ever on our bonus. So let, or well, video recaps of a road trip. Yes. Okay. So let's go over to one of the oddest themed Top Chefs

we've had this season. Oh yeah. I love, it's always, I've always loved like the first episode or two in May on Top Chef because that's when they tried to do a tie in with a summer blockbuster. Like there was the one where they had to do like a Jurassic Park themed challenge once. Yeah, that was weird. This one is going to be a mission impossible.

Oh my God. Well the Jurassic Park one, at least they were like, make it look scary and bloody. Wasn't that the one where they were putting blood all over the plates and there was like, I don't remember. I probably yes. Yeah, that one was I think scarier. This one, they were like, make a stunt. What the fuck does that mean? You want to see a real stunt? Watch Gail's digestive system trying to work with everything she shoves into it. Here's a stunt watching Gail get out of a bathtub without some butter. Gail disclaimer, we love Gail. No Gails were harmed in the making of the show. Okay. We love

Gail, but ghost Padma, you know, this week Padma died because she tried to do a stunt off the side of the building and fell off. So she's back as a ghost. Blame Padma, not us. All right, let's get into it. Did you have to climb the Burj Dubai? I got one and a half stories up the Burj Dubai and I fell off and I died immediately. Yep. Did you mean to be so tall? So here we are, season 22, episode 9, cooking on the edge of Glory. God is back.

I had to say it as a gay. So, yeah, we're the Magnificent Seven. Massimo is like, we're back. So, people have just been kicked off. But now it's more important than ever because people have been kicked off. And of course, Tristan just lost his father. So he's like, I'm not only doing it for me, I'm doing it for you, buddy. And then the chefs come to the test kitchen where now we have Tom and Gail joining Kristin.

Yeah. And Vinny is like, oh crap, what are we going to get into now? Something intense is about to happen. I'm going to have to make three times as much hollandaise as usual. So Kristen's like, well, you might be a little surprised to see Tom and Gail this morning. Any guesses why? Hmm. I don't know. Was there a sale on pirates booty? That was mainly for Gail.

I don't know why Tom's here. Was there a sale on pirates booty and Tommy Bahama hats for Tom? That's better. Tom's like, well, we just don't want to miss out on all the fun. So here we are. Well, I just wanted to come shame you in person. So we're doing that now. And Gale's like, that's right. Because from now on, we will be here alongside Kristen to judge the rest of the quick fires in Canada. The show is tanking. They've brought in the big guns. Gale.

Now you get to see two terrible patterns per episode. You're welcome, NBC Universal. Yeah. Well, we're going to factor in both the quick fire and the elimination challenge and deciding who stays and who goes home. Unfortunately, my son did not factor in a legacy he could have had by following my footsteps. Instead, he decided to become a mixologist. That's fine. That's fine. He doesn't did not factor in a legacy he could have had by following my footsteps. Instead, he decided to become a mixologist. That's fine. That's fine. He doesn't have to factor in anything. The way we factor in is for you guys.

Bailey's like, quick fires have been really difficult since I got back from last chance kitchen, but I'm a new Bailey now and I feel the pressure to get it together. Oh God, go make some penne pasta somewhere. I can't. Well, everyone, for this quick fire challenge, you're gonna have to flex your muscles. I say that with air quotes, muscles. Muscles, does anyone get my joke? Muscles, muscles, M-U-S-S-E-L-S, it's a homophone.

Anyone. The only ones Gale has are in the back of her throat. So Kristen's like, welcome, welcome your guest judge from Prince Edward Island, chef and professor at the Culinary Institute of Canada and James Beard award nominee for stepping off the curb while holding a hot dog, a soda, and a side of chips. At the same time, Alona Daniel. Welcome, Alona. Oh, that's funny because I call Gail Alona at Starbucks. So, uh, Alona for the rest of her life. Gail Simmons.

Alona at Baskin and Robbins, or as we call it now, Inns, because Gail ate the Baskin and Rob. So... Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe Heeeey, hey guys, Alona is here. Hey, Alona, before we do the muscles challenge, can you please explain your contacts because they don't really make sense with your eyes. Did you mean to look like you've been holding your face under a chloroform swimming pool for half an hour? You look ridiculous.

Hey Alona, great job trying to steal Ileana Douglas's names. Couldn't do it though. Ileana Douglas's names. Couldn't do it though. She was my friend when I was alive. Now I haunt her. So, so, uh, Kristen's like, just off the coast of Eastern Canada is a little place called Prince Edward Island. It's also known as Canada's food Island. Is that right? Well, that explains why Gail is always going up there. Am I right, everyone? Food island? No? Isn't Prince Edward bad? Let me look. Prince Edward Jeffrey Epstein. Prince, oh, that's Prince Andrew. Okay. Nevermind. You're off the hook, Prince Edward. You go with your food island. Okay. So, Alona is like, you betcha, with 1,000 miles of coast land, we have some of the best lobster, oysters, and our favorites are our mussels.

Did you get it, everybody? Mussels, like, mussels? Prince Edward Island actually produces over 50 million pounds of mussels each year, and they can be found on the menus at some of the best restaurants all over the world. Thanks, Gale. Thanks for describing what the fuck a mussel is. We all get it. We're on Top Chef. Ugh. Sorry, humans. Wow. 50 million pounds of mussels each year. Sounds like Gale's calorie counter. Our mussels are grown in what we call... Socks. Oh, don't you mean what Gail calls a dinner plate?

That's funny because Gail calls her socks muscles. Ew, Gail. Have you ever seen Gail stuff a sock full of peanut butter and then try to eat it out? Ew, that sounded grosser than I meant. So they grow these in these things called socks because it protects them from being eaten by predators. Wow. You should start doing that with hamburgers. Bye bye, gal. You know what? When I was living, Tom and I used to trap gal in a corner and force her into a giant sock. That way we could eat our meals in peace. Anyway, keep going, Kristen. Well also socks help keep them tender. Wow. That's funny. That's one thing, Gail. That's one thing Gail's never needed help with. Am I right Gail?

I was just telling Orison Wells, I have a lot of good sock material that I was so excited to use today. So for the quick fire challenge, they have to do something with muscles in 20 minutes. Okay, listen, I know you've got Tom and Gail here and they're busy people, I presume, and you don't want to make them stay here all day. I don't want to see shit made in 20 minutes. I'm like, if I wanted to do that, I don't even, I can't even make a sandwich in 20

minutes. Like that's, for me, that's not a food challenge. Just to be like, wow, you've got 20 minutes to do something creative. At that point, you could just steam the shit and put it on a plate. Come on. Yeah, I agree. Like, let them actually be chefs a little bit, like give them that extra 10 minutes. And so Massimo is like, oh, be I muscles, the best muscles in the world, but they're huge, they're delicious, but they're giving us 20 minutes. That is a tough one.

So Tom's like, yeah, you know, we usually see the white wine steam mussels, but we don't want that. You're gonna be judged on creativity as well as how well you look at the mussels. So go after it and don't see them in white wine. Cause if you see them in white wine, guess who will be the white whiner? It'll be me. So Alona tells them that these kinds of mussels

don't take long to cook, but you know, one minute can be the difference between a tender morsel of oceanic juiciness or a rubber bullet. Wow, that's amazing because it's really only one glass of wine that can take Gale from a tender morsel of oceanic juiciness to a rubber mullet. Miracle! Well, as always, you'll want to impress. I don't really know what that's supposed to mean, but okay, I will not be wearing my

rubber mullet anymore after a glass of wine. As always, you'll want to impress because the winner of this quickfire challenge is going to take home $10,000 in quickfire quick cash brought to you by the Glad Bag family of Glad Bag products, also in conjunction with Insomnia Cookies, as well as John Deere, John Deere, the home for when you wanna cut down on grass. This week, your challenge is to make something in 30 minutes, created out of KY jelly, our sponsors.

Have fun. Like, what the hell? What are these challenges? So Massimo's like, muscles are not as easy as people think. 30 seconds is enough to overcook it. 30 seconds of undercook can make someone violently ill. I'm like, yeah, she just said the whole rubber bullet thing.

Come on, we understand. So there was one of like, I'm from New York and I really, you know, in New York, we love our subs, our Italian subs. So I don't think anyone else is gonna wanna do something like an Italian sub, so it's gonna be me. In fact, when I was growing up, my parents got me an entire refrigerator just for Italian subs.

They said, please, why do you eat such stinky food? How many frigerators do we need to get you? Thanks, mom. When she said this, I was like, gross, you're going to do an Italian sub of muscles? I don't think I want that. It turned out to be great though. It just goes to show you don't judge, don't judge prematurely. Yeah, exactly. Don't judge until the judges have judged. So Bailey is going to do something with like green apple jalapeno argo chile, which doesn't really make much sense. And Tristan is going to do something with zucchinis. He's just going to like wrap them in zucchinis and have fun with it. And Vinny is like, um, well, I think that what I'm going to do is

cook some mussels in hollandaise and serve it on a plate that's in the shape of a one's gonna be on an N one shape is gonna be an O one shape is gonna be on an M you get it's gonna spell Nomad out in muscle plates that makes a lot of sense. I'm so sorry I was like 30 minutes is tough 20 minutes it's like come on man and then you hear you jump under a table scared, that was my own clap. I'm gonna start myself. But I think that I'm gonna do muscles with beats because, you know, beats, maybe that'll blend well with muscles.

I was like, wow, this guy really lugged out with his fucking dill pickle ice cream because everything since then has just sounded completely nuts and not good. Although I don't think dill pickle ice cream sounded good either, and they like that. So I don't know. I don't need beets with my muscle. Trey Lockerbie Yeah, I love beets. I love muscles. I don't really see them as being a great duo. So Shua is making a station and he's going to do like basically a stir fry.

He's going to use techniques he learned from his mom and his grandma. And then- Jeff Sarris Shua is doing it the right way though, that he, you know, he's gonna use techniques he learned from his mom and his grandma. And then- Why is doing it the right way though? I have to say, I get kind of bored with this kind of cooking. I get bored when the chefs are like, this is how I grew up. And so now I'm going to cook everything the way I grew up. Like, I don't like that. I like it to be, you know, sometimes, but he's really leaning into it.

And this show loves that. I mean, every meal he makes now, he's like, I'm doing this for my grandmother and my mother. I'm like, that's smart. It's a winning strategy on this show. They love that shit. They eat it up. They do, literally eat it up.

But anyway, Vinny is actually not doing anything with Hollandaise. He's making a larb, which is unlike Vinny. And then we find out Massimo is also using zucchini blossoms which could be an issue with Tristan but of course we know Tristan's going to do the better version because he always does and then Lana's working on her her sub and everything and they're just cooking cooking cooking and it's all going well. I thought that was pretty weird that it was two people putting a muscle inside a zucchini

flower and frying it. Yeah. Who copied who? It was weird. I'm going to say, I'm going to say Massimo copied Tristan because Tristan is, Tristan's kind of like the one to beat this season. So people would copy him, I would say. Yeah. Someone copied somebody.

So Bailey's like, I wish I had more going on here. The one day I decided not to do pasta for some inexplicable reason. And I couldn't believe she didn't do it. I thought she was going to be like, and here, here's a ravioli with mussels in it. Yeah. Why didn't anyone make a soup? I'd make a soup. Is that too close to just like white wine, steamed with white wine? Because I would think a mussel soup would be lovely, like a chowder, a mussel chowder. Yeah. I don't know. Hers kind of looked like a soup on her Agua Chilli stuff. But anyway, it looked like it just jumped from a really high ledge into a,

like an Agua Chilli sidewalk and just kind of splattered all over it. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial. Some people get a wild haircut or book a spontaneous trip when life throws them a curveball. But Molly? Well, she dove headfirst into a world of no strings attached sex, secret rendezvous, forbidden

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You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. So Shwe is the first to present and he's like, I call this, did it for grandma. Okay? It's a little bit of scallion ginger mussels that are good little boys and get candy when they behave. Okay? There's Chinese cooking wine, which is not the same as white wine, Tom, because my grandma used it. Gail's like, well, there's some nice heating in here. Yeah, well, Gail always says that, especially when she goes to Burlington Coat Factory

and finds a nice trench. So then Kristen is like, all right, Caesar, it's your turn. And he has a beet juice thing. And Alona was like, and how was it with the 20 minutes on the clock, which was her way of saying, this tastes like garbage. You clearly ran out of time before you could make it taste good.

Yeah, and it was weird. I don't know how he presented it. He's like, these muscles are steamed in beet juice and coconut fat. I don't think I've ever heard the term coconut fat before. And I don't think I thought that with my bits and muscles. Well, there is like the, I guess like with a coconut cream, there's like the shit on the top with a coconut cream, there's like the

shit on the top, but that's, I thought the coconut cream part. I don't know. I think it's just never heard someone specify like, yeah, I did it with coconut fat. Just sounded so, um, yeah, alone. I think you're right. It was totally shady. She's like, wow, with 20 minutes on the clock, how did that feel? That you failed, right? God. Unfortunately, we're never going to get that back. Okay. So now it's Vinny. And he's like, I did mussels in the style of larb mad. Okay. It's dressed in just a little bit of vinaigrette. Sorry, that's not a wine either, Tom. Okay. And then I took the mussels and roasted them in a bed of all these herbs and garnished with some nomad pickled chilies nomad. Okay. Hope you enjoy that.

All right, Bailey, tell us about your dish. And she's like, I cooked the mussels with onion and mezcal. And then I used some of the liquor and made a black garlic aioli and then chilled apple broth. And Alona's like, and how long did you cook your mussels in this combination of flavors that don't go well together? Two to three minutes. Two to three minutes to cook muscles. Alona's got this down. Alona's got this down, man. She knows how to shade them. Every time she asks a question, you know they're going down.

I know. But by the way, I feel like two to three minutes to cook muscles is very short. I feel like muscles take seven or eight minutes, right? Well, they said these are quick muscles. So I don't know. These are modern muscles that we cook. These are quick muscles. I think it's because they're from a sock. They're very sock motivated. They're like, we spent, we spent our whole lives in a sock. It's time for us to break free.

I'm opening up quickly today. So then Tristan serves his zucchini flour with a mussel in it. And he's like, guys, underneath this is mussel emulsion. Gross. That sounds disgusting. I don't care what anybody says. And then he goes, and then there's a zucchini salad and it's dressed with mussel juice. Okay. No, none of this is okay. I wouldn't even eat this if you told me mussel emulsion and mussel juice. That's like, what is it? It's like when you open tuna fish and what are you gonna drink the water? I don't want that.

Wash it. Wash it off. Have you ever made anything like this before, Tristan? Wow, Gail, that's a tough question. I'm someone who wears culottes on her head. So then Tristan- Wow, muscle emulsion. How did you get into G? Perfume stash.

Which is her way, which nevermind. So Tristan is like, no, I haven't made this. And they like sort of giggle. And then Lana has, she, she presents her, um, her muscle, uh, her muscle subway sub, her sub. And so they're like, okay, uh, Mossimo, what about you? He's like, uh, smoked muscle sandwich with tomato mullion and of course, so you gave blossoms. So Alona's like, so why did you go with the zucchini blossom on this one, which is my way of saying, why did you make such a shitty zucchini blossom? Do you know that we're judges, right?

Yeah. I mean, it's like, I thought it would be clever. Apparently I wasn't the only one. All right. And so Aluna's like, well, I like that it played on the sweetness of the muscle and it worked with that umami. It was very interesting. He's like, do you look like a wolf at night?

Can people still see your eyes? Yeah, I think they definitely flexed their culinary muscles. See what I did there? Culinary muscles. They sure did, Tom. They sure did. I already made that joke, Tom, but that's okay. Okay, well, I love it when you do that, Tom.

That's just one of my favorite things. So let's start with some good news. We're going to start with good news this time. Alona, who had one of our favorite dishes? No one. Okay, well, Alona, I'm going to need you to just pretend. Fine. I really enjoyed Lana's dish.

There was a really wonderful intensity of brininess. My favorite part was when I got to throw it all out in the trash. So, Tom loved Lana's Italian sub idea, because it was a toast. It was basically like a muscle toast. And he's like, who doesn't like an Italian sub? Well, well, well, Gail almost married one. And so Kristen's like, Gail, who had one of your favorites? And she's like, Vinny, I love it that you had an idea of larb. Really, really good. It was perfect to easy on. It was so easy to eat on that endive. I thought it really worked. I love eating things on endives. Gayle, Oreo cookies are not endive leaves.

Well, we asked for something different and unique and you delivered on that. Tom, who else had one of our favorites? Ah, Tristan. It was crispy, as advertised, and the mussel was nice and juicy and plump. Also, I love the fact that you took the mussel juice and turned it into an emulsion. And, Vinnygrat, a real good use of the product. You're really inventive. I only wish I had a son who could do half as many things as you did in that one bite. Thank you so much.

They also loved schweiss. Flavor-wise, fantastic. And so who muscled their way to the top of this quick fire challenge? And guess what? This dish had the briny, delicious ocean flavor that she wants. So Elona picks Lana. But mainly because we know that Lana has at least half of the letters in Elona's name. She's like, I did it really because of letter bias. So Chris, Lana wins her first, is this her first like individual thing that she's won? She won $10,000. She's very excited.

And It's $125,000 total. So she's, she must've won some other stuff. Yeah, I think that was group stuff, but I could be wrong because honestly, I do not pay attention to this and I don't even know why I'm asking about it. So then, um, on the bottom were Caesar, Massimo and Bailey. And, uh And they felt like the cook, well, Caesar's the beat and the coconut, it just didn't work for them. And then Tom's like, Massimo, good idea with zucchini, but unfortunately Tristan did the same thing,

just did it better. So, something I always say, you suck. And then, yeah, and Alana felt it was under seasoned and stuff. Yeah. And Bailey cooked her mussels well, but it was just incomplete. Like you didn't have time to fully give us

what you had envisioned. And she's like, pasta? Yeah, pasta. I could tell when I ate this mussel that you wanted to really make a mussel lasagna. I just really wish you had the time. I love when they do that, when they say like, it's just felt like you just didn't have the time

to do everything you wanted to do. I'm like, yeah, cause you gave them 20 minutes. Give them 25 minutes next time. The sad part is Gail took 20 minutes to get ready today too. And she actually came dressed as she was envisioned. Fix your vision, Gail. So then they're like, okay, Alona, you can go now.

Go back to your island. So now the judges leave and Kristen's like, well, you all flex your muscles really well. All right, get the hook. Muscles, it's a muscles. Hook. What I'm saying is, so you have these things in your arms. When you flex your arms, you get the muscles.

Okay, so now it's time, you might find, for the next challenge, you might find the mission slightly impossible. Give me one second to really illustrate this pun. I'm going to leave the room and we are going to really, really sell this pun in a big way. Okay. Bye everyone. So, mission impossible. What are we going to try and get Gal into Spanx again? Mission impossible. What is that? I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, She leaves and then they make it dark and put smoke in the room and then put lasers so she can crawl back into the room over the laser. So it's like smooth, smooth transition guys.

You could edit. You could just have your prop that she needs to bring in. I don't know. Ready? This is being filmed. You know what I mean? She could have just been in the lasers like, guys, we don't, we don't need this in real time.

This might be an impossible mission. Okay, give it 10 minutes. Just think about, just remember I said impossible mission. That was the last thing I said. Okay, I'll be right back. So now a screen comes down and we see the actor, Greg Tarzan Davis. For Mission Impossible.

And he is so actor-y. He's like, what's up chefs? Tarzan Davis, from Mission Impossible. And he is so actor-y. He's like, what's up chefs? It's your boy, Greg Tarzan Davis here from Mission Impossible. And your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create a dish that delivers on that impossible mission because of Mission Impossible intensity

and it features a stunt, kind of like the movie Mission Impossible, which I'm in, in theaters soon, if you can get there, or maybe that will prove to be a mission to impossible for you, but hopefully not. Yeah, he is very like, I was in a movie, I'm currently in Hollywood where I make films. We do stunts, you should see Tom Cruise do stunts, it's crazy, So flex those muscles

and get ready to do some stunts." So it's like, this message will self-destruct in five seconds. And the girl's like, oh my God. And then the explosion just happens on the screen and it's kind of a letdown. Pete Slauson They all think that there's going to be a real explosion. Jared Slauson Sorry, guys, we gave Gail her cheese too late. She won't have to put the explosion on the screen. Well everyone, as Tarzan just mentioned, yes, his name is Tarzan.

For this elimination challenge, we wanna see your stunts on a plate. So I'm looking forward to all of you interpreting the word stunt in a very lame and sad way. All right. See you all later. Yeah. So, um, as Tarzan just mentioned, stunt, stunt, plate, plate. So this whole stunt thing, no one really explains it. They're like, okay. And so they're trying to figure out what, well, Kristen reads the literal definition obviously requires. It requires great skill or daring.

But is it that you make your plate slide down a building? Is it that, you know, your salmon flips over? Like, what is it? No one really knows. So they have to come up with their own version of a stunt, which is, I think, a problem in the challenge. So, Lana's like that, go ahead. Yeah, I'm sorry. I think that like, when I think of like food

that has like a stunt, my interpretation is that there's something kind of like theatrical about it, like something tall or big, maybe something has to be cracked and then you reveal something underneath or whatever, or like I'm imagining like, I don't know, like maybe a flame or like something. I think the stunt should be like a visual thing, a visceral thing.

It's something sort of interactive that you have to do. And like you name your Tom cruise and then have it marry a straight person like Katie Holmes or something like that. Yes. I think publicity stunts are totally allowed. They didn't say what type of stunt. My plate is wearing a dress. What sort of stunt is this? Yeah, or something like you want to put a shrimp in a soup.

So you have the shrimp sitting on a spoon that's balanced on something and then to get it into the soup, you have to like hit the spoon and then it flipped in. I don't know. Something. I was expecting that too, but it was not that. So Lana's like, I mean, a stunt on a plate. I already made an Italian sub out of muscles. So I feel like all my food's really straightforward. Um, so, you know, no stunts involved, like no animals were harmed in the making of, well, I guess animals are harmed in the making of it.

I suck at this challenge, I'm just gonna say it right now. Literally killed and eaten. She's like, no animals were harmed. Oh, actually, we actually ate the animals. So that's actually way worse, way worse. She's like, okay, well, and now for the fun part, like Tarzan mentioned, there are two advantages available and they are both going to help braving the edge walk of the CN Tower here in Toronto.

Does anyone not like heights? And they're like, why are we talking about heights in a culinary competition? Why we got to get a bunch of out of shape people to go do something on the ropes around a tourist attraction. Why? I know. So they're going to have to go up to the sea. Walk around the whole edge. So this time there's $10,000 up for grab and some special wins that they'll learn about on the edge of a tower. So they go up there to this tower and it's scary because you're on the top of a tower.

And they've got this, of course, tourist leader lady, I don't know what you call them, who's like, all right, guys, we're on the top of a tower. We're climbing. I love heights. We're on ropes. So we're going to lean off. Okay, everybody, I'm leaning. Look at me leaning backwards. I don't care. What do I care? I'm going to die. I'm not not I'm not dead. I'm still here guys. You could die. Let's try it. Okay. All they have to do is walk around. They're all tied to ropes. I would ship myself though this high would you? Yeah, it's scary. I think the leaning forward and putting your arms out was like scary. But it's so funny because on reality shows, the things that they make most reality stars

do for like their fear factory kind of stunt things is pretty insane. They usually have to like walk across a gorge on a cable or like, I mean just on the traders, they were dangling Dolores from a helicopter and swinging her around over the Scottish countryside. They had to do crazy things, but I love just for chefs. They're like, just, just, just walk on, just walk on the circle a little bit and then lean forward and now you're done. Still, they couldn't all do it. Like Massimo couldn't do it.

Massimo was like, no, I have children to take care of. No, I'm not doing it. And who was the other one that wussed out? Lana, right? She's like, nah, I'm not doing that, sorry. But yeah, there was a lot of leaning and stuff, but you know, if you got time to lean, you got time to clean.

And she's like, I just made muscles in 20 minutes. I'm not doing this. Well, Gail just went up and did that. And now they've called it the leaning tower of CN. So, wow, Gail climbed to the top of that tower and put all her weight on it. Now the tower gets a special accommodation in this final challenge.

Sorry, I was distracted. I was just hanging out with Anne Boleyn. Hard to have a conversation with someone who doesn't have a head, even in ghost form. God, how lame. So they do this stupid challenge. And then let's see, I'm fast forwarding through this. Sorry, everybody.

Me too, they do this whole thing. So they get back into the kitchen and now they're gonna go shopping. And Massimo reveals that his stunt that he's going to do is he's going to do something en croute. So basically he will ultimately wind up making fish wrapped up wrapped in like pastry essentially. And the stunt is that it normally takes like hours and hours to do this, but he's going to do it within two hours. So it is a stunt for people who know how to cook salmon en croute. For everyone else, it's just salmon.

It's a stretch. That's a stretch. That's, that's going to be his. And the people who did the challenges get extra 30 minutes for their wins or whatever. So Vinny also did the circle. So they also get 75 extra dollars or whatever. Okay. So now they go shopping and then Massimo is talking about his encroute and Lana's like, my mom has a crippling fear of heights. Like she wouldn't have gone up, but you know, like she's awesome. She always pushed me to be my best and I always ate good. So I said mom a lot.

Can I win? It's like, I'm going to make a fish mosaic. It's like, yes, nothing, nothing speaks of a stunt like a mosaic, especially one made out of fish. When I watched Mission Impossible, I'm like, Ooh, I hope that Tom Cruise makes a stunt this one makes a mosaic. Oh hope that Tom Cruise makes a mosaic. Oh, did Tom Cruise make that mosaic or do they have a stuntin' double while he made that,

when he put the tiles together? I didn't really get this either. I thought maybe she was gonna do it in a way where it was resting on top of something that when you put your fork through it, it all crumbles or I mean, I don't know, like it all comes apart like broken glass, you know? Well, the other thing is that like, a lot of them interpreted stunt like an illusion, like an illusion is a stunt, because in their mind, they're thinking, oh, when you cook

something that looks like something else, it's kind of like, it is a bit of a stunt because you're relying on this like perception thing to give the audience a thrill. But I think that the challenge wants a more of a literal stunt. And so the mosaic, but the thing is, the mosaic isn't even an illusion. It's just a mosaic of fish. It's just fish, different fish in a pattern. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't really get it. So Shwe is like, well, my mother and my grandmother love making me turducken, okay? And that's where you shove a duck into a turkey and then you shove a chicken into the duck into the turkey.

So it's called turducken. And there's nothing trashier than that shit and I'm going to make it. I'm like, that's fine. But why is this a stunt? I mean, I think that he just had a plan to make sure. You're just making a food representation of Gale. You're just making Gale camping. You know, when she late at night, she goes into the log cabin and wraps herself up

in some duck and then turkey and then chicken. She calls it a second duck. That's when you shove a turkey into Gale and then a duck into the turkey into Gale and then a chicken into the duck into the turkey into the Gale Ducking. That's when you shove a turkey into Gale and then a duck into the turkey into Gale and then a chicken into the duck into the turkey into the Gale, okay? Get it right. And just like that, it is dangerous.

So- That's just lunch. And then you take the entire Gale Ducking and put it into some culottes. Wow. You've never seen some threads really push to their limits until you've seen that. commercials, here comes one right now.

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You can listen to Don't Cross Cat on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. They're at Whole Foods and they're ordering stuff. They're ordering chicken. Nothing really happened. They just get all their food. Everything's fine. And now they get to cooking. And Massimo his whole thing is that like he has not a second to spare.

He's got 30, everything is, it's like rigorously planned out. He's got to make his dough and he's got to get it cool, but it can't go in the fridge. It won't be fast enough. It can't go in the freezer. So he's got to get that done perfectly. And then he's got to get in the oven. He's got to, everything is precision based and this is his stunt. And I'm like, I literally don't care.

You've done this to yourself. This is not a stunt. This is just a high precision dish that you've decided to make in a short amount of time. It's not a stunt. It's just kind of, it is actually a flex of your culinary prowess. Yeah. And so then, Cesare is going gonna do Arctic char with a custard, because that's a very interesting idea.

And he wants to plate it in a tall glass that could represent the CN tower. And then you have to break into it and shatter the glass, which is gonna be a fish tool. And then you have to rescue the Arctic char. This is a stretch too, but at least he's giving them something to break. Yeah, at least he's like trying to do the stunt,

even though this feels wildly misguided. Cause the glasses he chooses are like just a little bit taller. They don't really look like the CN tower. Why doesn't he, he should have made something that was architectural and tall maybe. And like, it's not, you know what, it's almost like you should have made a tower

and then had like a scallop dangling off of it. And then like the scallop has to like bungee jump into like a sauce or it has to dive into the sauce. And then you eat it out of the sauce. Yeah, I don't know. None of them sound as gross as, I don't know, I can't even think of one. It's just such a weird challenge. Honestly, that sounds better than most of the stuff we've heard.

I was just visualizing it as you did it. And I was like, I don't know that was a challenge. I think it's just this challenge is flawed, you know? So then Tristan sounds really gross. Okay, here's Tristan's. He's like, I got this idea for this stunt based on Mission Impossible, because someone pumped their arm full of a virus

to transport it. So I'm just gonna stuff chicken wings with a virus of chicken moose. Gross. This is down there with the restaurant wars where Michael, the Voltaggio brothers, and that one chef, Michael, what's his face, they decided to make a restaurant.

And like, so the Voltaggio brothers, they're Voltaggio, and the other guy was like, his first name was, his last name was like R-E something or other, and they combined the two names of Voltaggio and Re whatever, Ronaldo let's say, into Re-Volt. So they named the restaurant Re-Volt. What are you doing? Here's some revolting food.

Disgusting. Yeah. How about, let's not like, let's not like, yes. Sorry. How about so, but here's my question. Yes. Sorry. No, go ahead. Let's not be like, hey, what you're about to eat right now represents a virus. Well, yeah. Okay. So then, so it's going to be stuffed with a virus, which is a fucking chicken moose, which also sounds disgusting. I'm sorry. Chicken moose.

I love chicken mousse actually. So, okay, you've got a chicken wing stuffed with mousse. That's already as gross. Okay, so then you've got an antidote on the side and then they have to get the antidote within a certain amount of time and then pour the antidote over and the antidote is the sauce, right? Well, that's cute. But then you still get into the wing and the wing still is oozing with the virus. So then how did the antidote fix the virus? You know what I mean? This was not thought out. Okay, you take the wing with the moose virus, fill that from a tower and make that fall

into a sauce. I just want something to take a dive off of something into a sauce. That's all I want. I want something to drop. I want something to drop and splatter. And that's the stunt. Yeah. Okay. Well, Lana's still talking about how her mom does fish. So she's going to do, her mom does this fried fish thing and she uses cornmeal. So she's going to use the cornmeal component, but she's not going to bread the fish. She's going to put it on the bottom

of the fish, which I don't know if anybody here has just had raw cornmeal, but. It's a stunt. It's a cornmeal stunt. In the spirit of Mission Impossible, I'm gonna separate the cornmeal fry from the fish. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know how any of this is going. So her first attempt at the crumble cornmeal thing isn't working because she put too much butter. So she's like, Caesar, is there tapioca maladextrin? That sounds like a drag name. And now tapioca maladextrin. And he of course is like, yeah, no, that'll be great. So she's doing that. I don't even know what tapioca maladextrin. And he of course is like, yeah, no, that'll be great. So she's doing that. I feel, I don't even know what tapioca maladextrin does really, but I just know that anytime anyone reaches for these things, like xanthan gum on Top Chef, it always backfires. I mean, Vinny.

That's why I pointed it out. But tapioca is like a corn starch type thing when you use it to thicken. So Vinny, meanwhile, at least he's trying to do a stunt. He's like, okay, for my stunt, I have breadstick lasers and they're going to sit on top of the bowl. And then you're going to have to reach through the laser beams to get the golden key. And once you have the key, then you can break the lasers over the tartar and enjoy. I was like,

you know, that's not really how lasers work though. You don't break lasers like with a key. But I have to say in Vinny's defense, at least he's trying and he hasn't said Nomad yet. So I like that. I mean, you did not say he's making holidays, which I also liked. So, so far Vinny is doing pretty good.

So then also- I think you know- Oh, go ahead. Sorry, may I pontificate? I think what you do is you do like sugar work, you do a dessert and you make your lasers out of like, you know, sponge sugar, right? Like you melt the sugar, you do the whole thing and you make them like,

maybe you can add some food coloring in there so they're like red and then you make some sort of dessert and you like, you like layer the sugar work like like you in your bowl high up above. So in order to get to the desert, you have to get your spoon through the lasers. And I think that's an homage to like the most famous mission impossible scene of all time. And which you just did. Kristen just did it.

Climbing over the laser. You literally did it. Yeah. Yeah. So then let's see. So Mossimo, we already know what he's doing. Okay. So the judges arrive at judging to sit down. And we have Benit, and we've got our guest judges and stuff, whatever. And Tarzan's there.

And they're like, so Tarzan, you're going to be looking out to my left, check out that view. We're on top of this high building. Do you just want to jump off something? And he goes, I am tempted, because I'm in films, action films, and I'm in one currently with Tom Cruise. Let me tell you a little bit of something about Tom Cruise. He's put that adrenaline bug in me. I know Tom Cruise. I might jump just from having one lunch with Tom Cruise. Let me tell you, Tom Cruise is something. Am I right, Tom Cruise fans?

Pete Slauson Lights, camera, action. Am I right? Being an actor. So Kristen's like, well, in honor of Mission Impossible, and you being here, we wanted a stunt along with every dish. Okay, oh, and Buddha, you're here too. Buddha, what would you do? This is Taylor Maneview. Buddha's like, well, I would have brought my favorite mold, which was a mold of a laser,

and then I would have made a laser out of pureed lettuce. Oh, that's pretty good. That's a pretty good start. And like all of your clothes, Buddha, this challenge was tailor made for you. He's like, yeah, or I loved it, or I've always had a vision of a floating island. And the dream was that the meringue actually floats with helium. That's what I would have done for that. I fucking love Buddha and I love seeing him back here's what I would have done for the, I fucking love Buddha and I love seeing him back here. Can I just say Buddha is the cutest guy. Like he's so supportive of everybody and he's like so happy when they do well. He's like, this was amazing.

I've never tasted anything like it. It shattered the inside of my perceptions and let me know what true food could really be. Buddha, I love your fantasy about your floating meringue. I take it Gale's not on your island because it's floating. And Tarzan's like, wow, I will say this pantry looks way different from mine, right guys? Because let me tell you, mine's got Tom Cruise hiding in there. Okay? I'm like, Tom Cruise, can I just get to some Nutter Butters? Get the hell out of my pantry. God, that guy. An actor's pantry is really something to behold. I mean, craft services, what they do

for us. I mean, it is, they are the real heroes of our industry. So then, back in the kitchen, Lana is filling heart shaped pipettes with hot sauce. Perfect to go with your fish mosaic. That's a big stunt. And she's like, I thought RJ pipettes look super cute because it's a dish for my mom, but also a fish mosaic and also Mission Impossible. I was like, great. Nice, makes no sense dish from well.

Okay. But this, this fucking challenge isn't about your mom. Like she keeps leaning into this, like I love my mom so much, I'm gonna make my mom's dish, this is how my mom did it growing up, my mom made it this way, so I need the cornmeal because my mom made the corn. Did your mom fucking pretend to get run over by cars

and then stand up and she was really fine? Like did your mom set her arm on fire and run in circles to make a good fire? Her mom never loved her. Her mom never loved her, so this is her pursuit of finally getting approval of her mother, which is why it is truly a mission impossible. So, that got really dark, I apologize.

It's like, wow, you just let her mom do. My mission impossible is getting my mom to say, good job, Lana, good job. So, Bailey is making, she's, Bailey's making something. It's like a, she's making a lasagna, but she's making it look like a tiramisu. That's her stunt. I guess you could say that's kind of like Mission Impossible

because they do often like rip the masks off their faces and turns out that's Tom Cruise. So this is like a tiramisu that's like, guess what? I'm a lasagna, which by the way, I don't know if I want that in my mission impossible. Well, she could have done something like where you make the crepe and then you wrap it over like a face mold, you know what I mean? Or like a wig head mold to make it look like it's a mask from there. And then you have to rip it off and the real thing is under there. Something like that.

Could you imagine? a mask from there and then you have to rip it off and the real thing is under there, something like that. Could you imagine? I'm going to make another Italian dessert. You're watching Mission Impossible. It's like Kristin Scott Thomas and then she pulls off her face and she's just a lasagna. Wait, you're a sentient lasagna? Yes, I am. So here we go.

Massimo's up first and he's like, I did a real stunt. I made uncrewed. And they're like, wow. Tarzan's like, uh, I don't get it, but I'm an actor. So being an actor is being an actor. I'm an actor. Um, I'm sorry. Did you say you made a salmon on cruise?

Because I know Tom Cruise. There's a huge variable of success when you, that is out of your control when you cook a protein and pastry. The dough is made today, there's an emotion with saffron and I found you the tomato. Louis the 15th, my favorite Louis. And Buddha's like, I love this guy. I wish I had a mold of this guy. I could just make little dishes of this guy. I love my mold. Oh, thirstiest chef I've ever seen. It's adorable. And Kristen's like, okay, Lana, what's your dish? What's your stunt? And she's like, I love my mom. Okay. My mom loves me. My mom

made fried fish. I love my mom's fried fish. You might notice little sauces and hearts. My stunt is loving sauce and hearts. So you pour it over this. Now on the side is tartar sauce hollandaise because I think that Vinny would also like my mom. My stunt is trying to make you figure out why some sauces are in a pipette and others are not. Enjoy. Enjoy. Yeah. Semi pipetted. So, um, I didn't really get this, but the fish also looks crazy and there's no stunt.

It's just different fish kind of wrapped together in a circle and then cooked. It's a mosaic. It's a small mosaic in the shape of a circle. And the mosaic is squares of fish that are all the same color. So it's like looking at a grid of fish in a circle. Did not get me. And also served over the corn meal,

which is just like in a lump on the plate. I ain't got it. It's with pipettes, heart shaped pipette and heart shaped pipettes too. Yeah. Hello there. This is a two part recap. okay? This is the end of part one. So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two! Watch what crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors!

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