Watch What Crappens - #300: 300

Episode Date: June 9, 2016

Timestamps below! It’s our 300th! We celebrate by ragging on Bethenny’s hypocrisy on Real Housewives of New York and the douchebaggery on Below Deck Med. We’ve had an amazing journey with you guys for these 300. Thanks for all your listens and support! We love you! Timestamps: 00 Opening thank yous and Crappens Mailbag 24:15 RHONY 1:57:08 Clear the Flem 2:04:05 Below Deck Med -- Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. For all our other links and extras, go to http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com -- See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Watch what happens when there's so much that happens. Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast. The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on the old brav. I'm Ronnie Karam from Trash Talk TV. And as usual, I'm with the gorgeous, talented, and 300 episodes old, Ben Mandelka of the B-Side blog and the Banter Blender podcast. Hi, Ben.

Hi, Ronnie. Happy 300th Watcher Crappens episode anniversary. Happy anniversary. We did it. We made it 300 episodes of this crazy crazy podcast would have ever thought we have actually if you add up all the hours that we've done this podcast it's more than any relationship i've ever been in isn't that amazing and sad too i know like we probably could have gone to med school with all the hours that we put into this.

We could be doctors. No, no thanks. I would not be a very good doctor. I'd be so rude. I can't believe that we've made it 300 episodes. It feels like just yesterday when you, me, and Matt Whitfield started up this little old podcast. And here we are four four years later something like that and and you know we have this gigantic watcher crap bins podcast this huge fan base with all these people who listen you know we our episodes get into the you know usually the top 20 of of

itunes tv and film our podcast is in the top 30 or 40 any given any given day it's like i never would have thought that we would have gotten this far well ben you never would have thought i totally thought i was like this is it this is the rest of my life i totally pictured myself at 80 sitting in a rocking chair with like some crazy little device that nobody's even thought of yet. Hey, I was trying to be modest, and now I just sound like I'm an underminer. This podcast is proof that negative thinking can get you places. You see? You don't need no stinking positive thinking, y'all. Listen, we didn't get here by ourselves, though.

We have really great, amazing listeners who support us and spread the word about us and and like get get other people listening you know we have we have everyone on our Facebook page who is like a really active commentator and commenter we have people over at reddit who are sending us so much love we have people everywhere it's it's sending us so much love. We have people on Twitter. We have people everywhere. It's astounding. We love you guys.

Thank you so much for everything you do for us. To be able to sit here and just talk shit is like my dream. So thank you. Thank you, guys. It's wonderful. And, of course, the people who are gracious enough to dole out a few dollars on Patreon every month. I mean, you don't even know how that has really affected us. And we really cannot.

We can't thank you enough. Yeah, thanks, you guys. Hope you're coming to the party tonight. What? And what? Yeah, Revolver and WeHo at 8 p.m. tonight. We have a back room. Hopefully they remember.

I should probably call to confirm. Either way, even if they forget about the back room, we'll to the front room yeah we don't care take us to the front room there ain't people shirtless in the back room anyway i need the shirtless man in the front room yeah no we are going to have a blast apm revolver in weho on santa monica boulevard and i believe larabee larabee right yeah somewhere you can't it. It's the only bar with a revolving door. Yeah, hence the title. Also, it's across its catty corner to a bar with a gigantic Real Housewives of Dallas horse in the front. So there you go. You'll be able to find it.

Yeah, exactly. Just like terrible lawn work. Fits in very nicely with the theme of this show. Yeah. So I'm so excited according to the facebook um invite that's on our facebook page there's already going to be there are 44 people who said they're actually going to come and they're like 60 people who are interested in coming so oh i love that button that interested i'm interested in coming it's not gonna come but

i'm interested that is the flakiest button ever that's for your friends who never commit to shit they're like well maybe I'll go that means they're not coming like if you invite your friends somewhere and they say well maybe I'll come that means no just say no just tell me no

see I actually like that they changed it from maybe to interested because maybe is more non-committal to me that's like hmm I'll see wait and see interested is like I would like to go but's like i'll see wait and see interested is like i would like to go but i really have to see how other things pan out so i feel like that interested is more of a realistic emotional response for me well it's just like changing the language for the same intent you know it's like to make us feel better thanks a lot facebook

you really sugar-coated that one fuckersers. Well, you know, sometimes I like having things sugarcoated. It's more digestible for me, okay? So, of course, we'll just get our housekeeping out of the way really quickly. Facebook.com forward slash Watcher Crappens.

Come like that page because it's the best. WatcherCrappens.com is where you can find all our social media links, Instagram and Twitter and Snapchat. Spoiler alert, I did a face swap with Bea Arthur a few days ago on Snapchat and on my Instagram, and it's really special. And then Patreon.com forward slash WatchWhatCrapHands is where you can – if you support us there, you get access to like our bonus episode. We're talking about Food Network Star and monthly hangouts and ringtones and things like that. Yeah, do it, everybody. Come on over.

Let's get on with this show. This is our 300th show. So you know it's got to be seven hours long. It's going to be seven hours long. Well, so I kind of wanted to start the show by mentioning like another thank you. We're talking like this is an Oscar speech, okay? I know. I love when people do that on Bravo shows. They give a speech for things they

didn't win. They're like, well, thank you all. Like Yolanda, thank you for coming to the party. I would like to thank David. It's like, bitch, you haven't done anything. Sit down. You didn't even rust that chicken. Unlock the tenors from the basement and sit your ass down. I know. But in this case, I want to thank everyone who's appeared on the show over the past 300 episodes.

You know, starting first and foremost with Mr. Matt Woodfield, our former co-host and occasional guest and just all around great guy. He's coming tonight to the party. So this is like Krappen's reunion in the flesh right there. So that's great but we've had so many guests people who've uh we have bravo stars people who are just in media just commentators so we actually sat down and made a list of everyone that we could remember from the past well ben has a memory so he did it i just listened to him try and think of stuff while i looked at facebook and so if we leave anyone out, I'm really sorry.

And these are really in no order whatsoever. But Amy Phillips, who appears on Watch What Happens Live and, of course, her radio show on Sirius. Stephanie Wilder-Taylor, who was just on last week, who does a podcast with Ronnie. Leah Black. Leah Black! From Miami. Real Housewives of Miami.

Brandi Howard and Julie Goldman from The People's Couch. Kate Chastain from Below Deck. Angie Thomas from the Deep Thoughts Podcast. We love Angie. I just did that podcast. By the way, I'm on this week's Deep Thoughts Podcast. Awesome. Awesome.

I want to give a shout out to Anna David, who's also on this list, who was on our last episode. I was on her podcast, You've got issues with Anna David. Super cool. Katie Cazorla, we love from Panty Nail and the Nail Files and all that stuff. Lisa Timmons, Michelle

Collins of The View, Heather McDonald of everything that Heather does. Juicy Juicy Scoop is her podcast, right? Yeah. Molly Mc mcaleer of please advise alexandra august um drew drogy julia cunningham of ew radio ira madison third who's now at mtv jess gogolby from la weekly and other things marjorie from stupid housewives don't yeah hell yeah miss stupid housewiveswives. Miss you, babe.

Jill Zarin. I mean, listen, lover or hater, Jill Zarin came on to our podcast, and that's pretty cool. Brandon LeBright and Craig Ramsey from Newlyweds. Hermione Way from Startups of Silicon Valley. Nadine Rajabi and Hannah Lopatin, who was our guest on our very first live show back in four years ago at ImprovOlympic. Oh, Hannah. Hannah was our first guest. That's crazy.

Well, she was our first live guest. Oh. Never mind. I take it back, Hannah. Your award is rescinded, Hannah. I think our first guest may have been Marjorie or Drew Droege. One of those two. Oh, man. It's been a fun ride.

And now it's time to retire. Bye, everybody. Bye, everyone. Signing off forever. I really hope we didn't leave out anyone else. I feel like there's someone that we totally left out. Oh, well, we'll just have to wait until the 400th episode for them to get their dues. Also,

well, that could be closer than you think because we're actually on our patreon numbers we're actually close to doing another third episode so we have these goals set up and whenever we reach those goals we get another podcast so that's how we are tuning two nights a week now and if we reach that goal we go to three days a week so go sign up at patreon yeah yeah if we hit that goal i mean that's gonna be crazy three days a week. So go sign up at Patreon. Yeah, yeah. If we hit that goal, I mean, that's gonna be crazy. Three days a week of Watcher Crappens, plus a bonus episode. I mean, it's turning into a radio show,

which is really cool. Dreams do come true. Dreams do come true. You know you gotta have them, okay? You know you gotta have them. Well, you know one thing I really love doing on a holiday? I love chicken the main. Oh, my goodness.

Hey, let's take a walk down to the Krappen's mailbag, why don't we? Let's do it. That's the goat on slow. Slow goat. Slow goat. Slow goat. The Krappen's mailbag. I had it up and then I must have closed the window. How utterly annoying.

Darling, we're 300 and you're already not able to get it up. Darling, this is the most appropriate thing. You know, it's on 300 episode. A technical gaffe. It's not really a technical gaffe. It's a human gaffe. Give that mailbag the helicopter and get it up! Just keep helicoptering it around,

girl! Okay. Alright, well, I'm gonna dig around our Patreon bag to find it. We have to remember also, this episode, since it is our 300th, that we have to do a clear the phlegm, because, I mean, we've gotta pull out all the stops for 300, right?

Yeah, I think I might even add somebody to that today because there's been such wonderful things. Clear the Phlegm is a great segment, and we actually have not done it in a little bit. So I'm excited to revisit it today, assuming we remember. That's why we don't do it is because we usually forget. Okay, so, Craphead's Mailbag. Lori, our dearest, sweet, lovely, mid-Atlantic Lori. She says, hello, Ronnie and Ben. I love you, bitches. Trash! Based on what we have seen on Bravo lately,

is there room in Ben's book for the term extra gay? And would it be defined as C. Jack McFarland? And when is this book coming out? Shaking in my shoes. Shut up! I think Laurie's talking about the Watcher Crappens glossary. And I have been really bad. I've been delinquent.

I gathered all that information, and I have yet to actually put it together properly. I started a spreadsheet. It'll come out soon, Laurie. I promise. I'm a spreadsheet. It'll come out soon, Laurie. I promise. I'm just lazy. Oh, yeah. We need that glossary because someone on Twitter was asking about Geraldine Parsons-Smith.

Yeah. That'll be in the glossary. So wait for it. Every two months, people say, who is Geraldine Parsons-Smith? So that will be in the glossary. Extra gay. I mean, we could probably put it in there. We'll see.

You know, there's room for anything in the glossary, right? Have we said extra gay? Who's considered extra gay? I think Ray. I'm not sure. Extra gay Ray? I need our glossary sometimes. I'm like, what?

I don't know. Well, we can start saying extra gay. We'll start saying extra gay more, and we'll start doing the, and then Ramona walks in game more, too. Oh, yeah. But there are definitely a lot of extra gays on Bravo, that's for sure. Yeah, there sure are. Are we supposed to pick the extra gays? I don't think that we have to, but we can if we want.

I don't think she actually explicitly asked for us to pick out the extra gays. Okay, good. But if we want, don't think she actually explicitly asked for us to pick out the extra gays okay good but if we want we could we could but um it's right so i feel i figure i should start gay bashing again on monday you know did you see that the the kid that the the lead the lead from the real um real o'neill's had like this excoriating review interview in Vulture where he just like went after everyone and was being. No. About what? What was he going off on people about?

Well, you know, he's like 22 and he's he's an openly gay actor. And he's talking about how, you know, he didn't get a role because he's too gay. And then he and then he got mad at Colton haynes for not coming out of the like for being coy when he came out of the closet and then he was saying how there's like he then went after brian singer and then he starts talking about how there's a real casting couch issue in la but it doesn't happen in new york whatever it was very much like a 22 year old like a like a sassy 22 year old just trying to like be like whatever you know yeah it was like a privileged a privileged 22 year old bitching about how unfair everything is when he's making zillions of dollars

yeah he went after eric stone street he said that eric stone street's character on modern family like the way he portrayed it was like very stereotypical and it was like minstrelsy and everything it was like a scorch the earth kind of interview oh Oh, whatever. It's funny because some people are like, oh my god, good for him saying something unfiltered and other people are like, okay, you need to sit down. You're like 22. You're 22 and the world has handed you a huge win. How about you just

be quiet over there? You're like rich now, so shush. And also, his performance is stereotypical, but guess what? So were a lot of us. Yes. There you go. Exactly.

I'm totally fine with that. I also don't really, I don't love the idea of making fun of the way someone else comes out of a closet. I don't think that's really fair. I think coming out of a closet is a really hard thing to do, especially in the public eye. So how you do it is, I feel like, a little bit off limits, you know? And also in Hollywood. And also, speaking of Eric Stonestreet stone street being stereotypical no he's not how many fat gay people do you see on tv like when when they have a gay especially a fat gay character married to a thin one

yeah with a baby why don't you just be quiet over there honestly um i've seen the eric stone street character in real life many many times i have no pro i have i have no problem with this portrayal i think it's actually very girl i am the eric stone street character in the future like that is me i remember one scene they showed of him it was so funny that um his husband was trying to make him stop binging in the middle of the night so he put nanny cams everywhere and there's this scene of him just in the closet, shoving down food at three in the morning, like thinking he's being all secret, looking over his shoulder.

And I was like, oh my God, I identify way too much with this. Plus also did this kid ever watch newlyweds? Like, you know, Craig, we love Craig,

but Craig is basically Eric stone street, you know? Right. Come on. Yeah. We're all, we all have our stereotypes. I'm not going to throw any stereotypical barbs while I'm hosting a Bravo podcast.

I at least am aware enough of my own hypocrisy to wait until we're done. Then I'll start talking shit again. Yeah. So anyway, as long as we're talking about extra gay, that's some fun reading to be had on the internets. Oliver Haskins, he says this. He says, two questions come to mind this week one like ramona blue luann's haircut rena's leopard print and vanderpump's pink do either of you have a signature flourish uh and two mauricio made an estimated six million dollars this week selling

the playboy mansion to their next door neighbors oh i didn't realize he was behind that deal what do you think he did next? A, buy his sister-in-law a new house in Palm Springs. B, let his daughter play the Kim Kardashian game to her heart's content. Or C, rented a yacht and a plane because he still refuses to buy a yacht or a plane. He probably went out and bought Kyle a bunch of gift certificates to something. He's like, you still don't have access to that account, babe. Sorry.

He rented her a fat burger truck. Lifetime supply. First off, I hope he spent some of that money getting the Legionnaire's disease taken out of that hot tub. Because, I mean, how many people have gotten a disease? Because, I mean, how many people have gotten a disease? I mean, Hugh Hefner's most crystal wife, his most recent wife, Crystal, is that his recent wife or his only wife? I don't even know. But she has the chronic Lyme.

We read her Insta a while back. And she's like, I never even knew I got bit by a tick, y'all. Like, it's crazy. I didn't know what it was. Finally, someone told me. I got this special test in the mail.'m like yeah it sounds legit it's probably legionnaires disease from that damn hot tub but gross place yeah yeah um i i did not realize marisa was behind that but um yeah he probably went and like i like the idea of him just renting another yacht and a plane without actually buying one.

I think he definitely did not buy Kim a house in Palm Springs. Maybe he bought her like... I feel like he bought her a ticket to go to Boomers, like a free round of miniature golf. And a slice of pizza. He probably changed the front gate code for one night so she can come in and out if she pleases. She can stop trying to figure out how to use a ladder. He got her a promo code for Airbnb. Well, the biggest question is, who's buying Scott Baio somewhere else to hang out?

That's a great question. I saw that on VH1 one time. He went to the Playboy Mansion. And that's the only thing I think of is Legionnaire's disease and scott baio goes there a lot that's all i really know i i was lucky enough to go there back in 2002 2003 i like nabbed through this crazy bizarre super hollywood way um like as in like obnoxious pulling strings name dropping and whatever i got an invitation to the playboy party playboy um mansion's 50th anniversary or maybe it's playboy's 50th anniversary this whole thing this party that was actually filmed by a and eat and turned into like

a little special and i went i was so excited because i thought it was gonna be like all a-listers i thought it'd be like leonardo dicaprio and things like that and it was going to be all A-listers. I thought it would be Leonardo DiCaprio and things like that. And it was instead. Scott Baio, The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, Jeff Probst, Anna Nicole Smith was there, Jesse Jackson was there, Gloria Allred was there. I remember getting wedged in between Tiffany and Stephen Dorff at the bar. It was actually better than if it had been A-list, because it was so B and C-list.

I love that Gloria Allred with her woman power ass. Exactly. That is hilarious. And remind me of Gloria Allred because I have something for New York when we talk about it. Okay, I will. Ronnie, do you have a signature flourish, much like Ramona Blue or Luann's haircut or Renna's leopard print? A signature flourish? Oh, my gosh well okay I guess mine is mine doesn't mine isn't visible well I guess it is visible but my signature flourish

is that I will only wear one designer because I believe in America and that is the navy the old navy there that's my flourish you're so patriotic old navy i think my uh signature flourish is um early onset hunchback uh mixed with opaque couche which is also known as pantone 448c also known as the ugliest color known to man. That was what was declared yesterday, that this is the ugliest color in the world. It's opaque couche. Oh my god, is that true? Yes. Opaque couche. You are not

a hunchback. I have bad posture. Oh, just stand next to me. I have, like, Bette Midler posture. I would, but except I'll hunch over. I have Midler posture, and I'm proud of it. I just... Midler, like Bette Midler? Yeah. Because you know how she's, like, hunched over. I have middler posture, and I'm proud of it. I just... Middler? Like that middler? Yeah.

Because you know how she's hunched over? I have her same posture. She was the first person I identified with posture-wise, because everybody's like, stand up straight. I'm like, it's exhausting. And then I saw her, and I was like, she's rich. So there. I use her all the time.

My mom's like, yeah, whatever. She'll have scoliosis. Guess who doesn't have scoliosis? Mother! She's your posture yeah, whatever. She'll have scoliosis. Guess who doesn't have scoliosis? Mother. She's your posture twin. Yes. We're posture soul sisters. I thought you were going to say that you get wheeled around in a wheelchair with a mermaid thing on your feet.

No, but if I ever need a wheelchair, probably from the scoliosis I'm giving myself, I will do that. I have light scoliosis growing up i probably still have it i think i mean i'm very uneven my my right foot pronates out and it's just it's a disaster like i'm gonna have all sorts of problems very soon i'm sure um what is light scoliosis like when there's just like a light bend in the spine you know is it like a real thing are there degrees of scoliosis? It's like an arrest development. Light to no scoliosis.

Pre-stage scoliosis. Well, here's the news about Buster. He's in a light to no coma. Remember that when Buster went to the hospital pretending to be in a coma? No, I haven't seen all of I've only seen the first two seasons there's an episode where Buster

pretends he's in a coma to get out of some situation so he goes to the hospital and Lucille Bluth is going nuts and the doctor says well turns out Buster is in a light to no coma oh Buster Buster is in a light to no coma. Oh, Buster. Buster.

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I really have a signature. Flourish. I don't think I even have Ope Coupe. I just... I don't even have a signature on my email. Yeah. You know, a lot of my clothes are like a...

I have a lot of grays and blues. Even though I always am trying to get pops of color, and it still... I have a lot of grays and blues. Even though I always am trying to get pops of color and it still always seems to be dominated by grays and blues. So maybe it's a... It's Ben Gray Blue. Ben Gray. Ben Gray. Well, close up that bag and let's get to it.

All right, we're going to close up the Krappens' mailbag. Ooh! Morning, mailbag. Thanks for coming. Well, thankfully, that mailbag still knows where it's going because we have a new mail person. And all of our addresses are like point. It's like 12.1, 12.9. They're like random.

I'm getting so many people's mail. I opened a box the other day full of lip gloss. And I was like, I didn't order lip gloss. But then I thought maybe I did because, you know, I'm an Amazon addict. I didn't. It was my neighbor's. So glad I put the lids back on before I put that box at her door. Anyway, that has nothing to do with anything.

I just wanted to say that Cindy C posted this Gloria Alred thing on our Facebook that is so funny. It's this letter about how it's written by somebody for Sonia. But it's like, Bethany is slandering her. And it's like, please take on this case. Sonia has been, it's been taken too far for poor Sonia Morgan. And then you look at the email address and it's being sent to Gloria Allred. And I just love Sonia's thought process. Like, that woman will stand up for women's rights.

She'll take down Bethany for me. What is this, soft boil? Sonia sent a letter to Gloria Allred to defend her? Yes, like one of Sonia's friends wrote a letter. I guess they have a mutual contact or whatever. Oh my God. And she wrote her a letter to Gloria Allred for her. On her behalf.

I don't think even Gloria Allred does that kind of law. Well, she was at the Playboy Mansion. So I don't know. Everything I've ever known about Gloria Allred has been destroyed. Oh, my God. That is. Could you imagine? I would actually look forward to this.

Gloria Allred. If Gloria Allred had a guest arc on next season of Real Housewives, that would be phenomenal. Oh, my God. They'd be so confused by her face because she hasn't had as much surgery, I don't think. Well, I haven't seen her in a long time. Maybe Gloria Allred is just so tough that in my mind she's a battle axe. But in real life, maybe she looks like Christy Brinkley. I honestly don't even remember.

But I would love to see her just take down everybody on this show. Yeah, but I still think Bethany will take down Gloria Allred. Probably. I don't get it. What is this? You're like a lawyer, but you're always on TV. I don't get what's going on here. What's your brand? What's the booze you sell? I don't get it. You're wearing a red blazer.

That's my color. What do I call you? A cheater lawyer. That's what it is. Literally, I can't. Literally, kill me now. I can't. Goodbye. You're all red? What are you, Santa Claus? You That's what it is. You know what? Literally, I can't. Literally, kill me now. I can't. Goodbye. You're all red? What are you, Santa Claus? You know Santa Claus already has a brand, right? What are you, a sales brand?

What are you, Santa Claus now? What? Where's the presents? Huh? All red? Huh? Huh? Are you Jewish?

Are you Jewish? Are you Santa Claus? Are you Christmas or Jewish? What is this? Is this multiple holidays? What's next? Kwanzaa? Gloria Alvarez does Kwanzaa?

Where's your holiday album? I don't get it. Where's the album? I don't get the brand. What's happening? Like literally it's like too much. Like if you play your CD like one more time for me, like my ears are going to fall off. My ears will fall off.

I'll never hear anything again. And you know what? I'll be happy. I'll be happy when that happens, okay? Like I'm sorry I called you a whore, but like you know what? This is just how I'm feeling. This is your reputation, Gloria. Like I'm sorry.

You know what? Kill me now. I'm just Gloria answers like Luan. You are girlfriend. Like just after this big long blunt. It's like objection. You are girlfriend. Like just after this big long blunt. It's like objection. You are girlfriend. All right.

That overruled. Thank you. Thank you, Judge. Biatch. I have taken this judge from another court case. What? Fair game. What do you mean?

There's no judge code. What do you mean objection sustained? Don't be all uncool Okay, judge? Just be cool Gloria, all I'm trying to tell you Is that you have a reputation for stealing other clients from other lawyers That's all. That's all I'm saying Whether or not you do it, that's none of my business

Like, you know what? I don't care But you have your reputation That's all I'm saying I'm just trying to tell you what your reputation is And you're not a lawyer's lawyer You're not a lawyer's lawyer Because lawyers are so true to each other. Speaking of the Real Housewives of Nueva Jorkees.

Speaking of which, did you watch it before you went to sleep last night? I sure did. You must have slept pretty well with all that fun stuff. But you know what, though? I bet you could have slept even better than if you had a Casper mattress. Oh, my God. I could only hope and dream, Ben. Tell me about this here Casper mattress.

Well, Casper is an online retailer of premium mattresses for a fraction of the price. The mattress industry has inherently forced consumers into paying notoriously high markups. Casper is revolutionizing the mattress industry by cutting the cost of dealing with resellers and showrooms and passing that savings directly to the consumer, okay? Okay. Tell me more, Ben.

I want to know more about Casper, okay? Okay. A Casper mattress provides resilience and long-lasting supportive comfort. Casper's mattress is one of a kind. A new hybrid mattress that combines premium latex foam with memory foam. Okay. I just like it.

Okay. Like, sometimes it's better to just have memory foam because you can remember the things. Mario doesn't have to be in my bed, but I remember him there thanks to Casper. Okay. Okay. You know, okay? Okay. You know, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but mattresses can often cost well over $1,500, okay? But Casper mattresses cost between $500 for a twin-size mattress, $600 for a twin XL, $750 for a full-size, $850 for a queen-size, and $950 for a king-size mattress, okay? Casper understands that buying a mattress online can have consumers wondering how this is possible.

Okay? Okay. Tell me more, Ben. Whoa, whoa. It's crazy that you asked me to tell you more because, like, I just remembered that buying a Casper mattress is completely risk-free. Casper offers free delivery and returns within a 100-day

period. It's that simple. You know, it's obsessively engineered mattresses at a shockingly fair price. Just the right sink, just the right bounce, okay? Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam, come together for better nights and brighter days. That's crazy. What do I do if I want a Casper mattress, Ben? Well, guess what?

There's a risk-free trial and return policy. Try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns. I bet Luanne would like that because Luanne likes to sleep around a lot, especially with men, on Casper mattresses. Anyway, mattresses are made in America. It's $500 for a twin-size mattress, $950 for a king-size mattress. Comparing that to industry averages, that's an outstanding price point. Okay? Whoa.

Whoa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But that's an outstanding price point. Okay? Whoa. Whoa. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But that's an outstanding price point. Okay? So anyway, people, get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash crappins using the promo code crappins. Use the promo code crappins.

Casper.com slash crappins. Thank you, Casper.com slash KRAPPENS. Thank you, Casper. And as someone who owns a Casper mattress and sleeps on it, it is the best. You can vouch for it. Do you still have good memories of Mario on that Casper mattress? Well, that's so crazy. I'm just remembering, you know, being on this mattress, it reminds me of this time about 10 years ago. I was sleeping on this mattress and Mario was next to me.

And I said to Mario, whoa, this is crazy. We're on like a mattress right now. But it's not blue. It's not Ramona blue. It's not yellow, which reminds me of sunshine. This is crazy. I'm sorry. Oh, my gosh.

Like I'm starting to cry right now because this mattress is remembering so many things. Like do you have forget foam? Like maybe that's a new thing. Like, Ramona, forget foam. Like, lay down and forget about Mario, okay? This mattress is seriously out of this world, okay? It's like Dorinda's lasagna. It's seriously amazing, okay?

It's the lasagna of mattresses. I'm so glad Dorinda cooked something, because she's like, I cooked! And I was like, no you didn't, those are cold cuts. But she did cook today. She made her famous lasagna, man. So we opened the Real Housewives of New York City. The first thing I noticed was LOL at Dorinda, because this woman, all she does is scream, yell, get wasted, and then forget everything, and then repeat the process.

So I thought it was very funny that she has a Jesus Christ Novena in her kitchen. I know. Did you notice that too? I just noticed that. I don't know why I thought that was so funny, but I love that she's got like a Jesus Christ Novena and it's like above the sink. It's like by the scrubber. She's like, well, we do the dishes.

We scrub the dishes and the soles at the same time. You got time to clean, you got time to lean on Christ. Right? You better back it up, Christ. You better back it up. Oh, too far. Christ is crucified.

Damn it. You can talk about yourselves. You can talk about the weather. But you can't talk about yourselves. You can talk about the weather. But you can't talk about Christ. He made me a cake. I did it nice, Jesus. I did it nice. He turned my cake into 50 cakes.

Leave Christ alone. My cake can walk on water. I mean, look, if anybody's been ripped off in this franchise, it's Christ. I mean, this guy literally produced his own wine. If anyone needs to be writing Gloria Allred. Tipsy Jesus wine.

Tipsy Christ. Skinny God wine. Christy Girl. Christy Girl. Christy girl. Like, I don't get it. Like, what is that? Like, is that for Jesus girls? Like, I don't get it.

Like, it's too much. It's like, no. I don't want anything to do with you, okay? Is there a reason this wine tastes like blood? Yeah, it's in the Bible. Ah, fuck the Bible. Light the candle. Oh, Dorinda.

That's what happens when Dorinda gets loose the red cross look at all these bags of wine so we open in the same terrible and terrific fight from last week where bethany has been raging with her adderall addict ass all over the house screaming and yelling and then feeling guilty and then screaming and yelling more and then feeling guilty and then coming downstairs to like i guess make nice while she walks into luann talking shit about her exactly so yeah she's like oh so this is like your apology this is is this part of the apology that takes me like i don't get it like it's just like coming out like they honestly like i don't even want to have an apology like i don't want to have this conversation i got it so well bethany i'm upset. Oh, you sound upset. Yeah.

Listen to you. You sound upset. Like, listen to you. Like you sound upset. I'm like, what are you judging? You just screamed like the neighbors down the street heard your ass

screaming. Exactly. And she's like, you're broke simultaneously. The saint, the saint statue is now facing the corner. Thanks a lot, Bethany.

You're not honest. Here's what I'm saying. Some people are honest. You're not even honest. You know that game show, To Tell the Truth? You wouldn't even be on it because you'd lose immediately. It'd be like one giant buzz sound. Who's going to tune into that?

Who wants to turn on the TV and just hear, like nobody. You're crazy. You're stupid. Like, I don't understand it. You're not honest. Jessica Alba? She could never be around you.

You're not honest. You're not the honest company? You can, you're, like, not honest. Like, Jessica Alba, she can never be around you. You're, like, not honest. Like, you're not, like, the honest company. Like, you can never work there because you, like, are, like, not honest, okay? Like, seriously, I can't get it. Like, I can't. Like, it's too much. Like, if we were playing Truth or Dare, like, people could only give you dares. Like, you'll be jumping in the pool with your underwear because, like, you wouldn't even bother telling the truth.

Like, it's stupid. Like, who even wants to play that game with you? Like, it's called Truth or Dare, not just dare. Like, it's dumb. Like, I don't want to see you, like, what, am I going to dare you to do the hula hoop? Like, that's stupid. I'm not going to sit here and watch that. Well, like, I don't get it.

Like, why would anyone want to dare anyone to do a hula hoop? Like, who thinks that's fun? Like, why would I ever do that? Like, literally, like, there's something in that hula hoop, like, that I should just never be around ever again. Like, literally, like, when that hula hoop goes on the way in,

like, I go crazy. Like, I can't. Like, I have to leave. Like, literally, I can't. Like, I'm on the floor crying. Like, I can't. Sorry. So, of course, where Bethany is yelling at somebody carol is soon to follow so carol you

just hear shuffle shuffle shuffle and karen's behind her and karen why did i call her that carol's behind her and uh bethany is telling luann off about not being honest which look i don't remember when luann denied fucking like a million people, but she hasn't for a couple of years. Someone pointed out on our Facebook that, yes, she is fake because remember she had that Countess book and remember all that time she was trying to be so polite. Yeah, but that was seasons ago. This is like our third season with Luann is like a raging whore. And I don't think she's really cared. Well, I mean, Bethany has a point in the sense that luann really came hard

for carol last year which was bullshit and we all called her out on it um you know there was obviously like probably some jealousy in there or who knows what but it was misdirected rage and um it was a shame that that luann went down that path because you know we really like luann and this was it was a very hypocritical moment and essentially Bethany was calling her out for that and Luann again is like the thing is what's frustrating about Luann in these situations that Luann's like I'm delighted

for Carol you don't even hear Carol you just hear mutters and Luann's like what are you the narrator what is this an audio book I don't need that and Carol goes you routinely made fun of me for being with a young like what are you the narrator we don't need what is this an audiobook i don't need that and carol goes you routinely made fun of me for being with a young man and she's like oh luanne needs to get this child's bone out of her mouth and i would like to point out that yes she was calling her

a pedophile and all of that good stuff but luanne's biggest problem was not that he was young. It's that it was her cook. So that's my most hilarious point in this. I mean, not to you guys, but to me, the most hilarious point was, I can't believe Luann didn't say it. Like, well, date whoever you want, but when they're for me, they're on the clock. You were dating one of my employees. Who does that? Who goes to someone's home and sleeps with the cook? Yeah.

I mean, that's probably really what it was that Luann wanted him first. So talk about girl code. I mean, why else do you think he got that job in the first place? But what I love about Luann, though, is the way she talks to Carol now. Because Carol always has a simpering remark, like, whatever, Luann. Or she'll make some snarky thing. remark like whatever Luann or she'll make some snarky thing and Luann just always responds

with like a terse sarcastic thing that ends with Carol like oh well thanks for that Carol oh another comment from Carol oh well I'm thrilled for Carol it's just every time she does

it it cracks me up because it's like she just is so fed up with carol and like it like whatever carol says never even gets it doesn't even get under luann's skin anymore she just brushes it off with a dismissive oh well great insight carol yeah well she's only being nice to bethany because bethany's like the boss of the show now yeah so everybody's kissing her ass but you don't automatically get your ass kissed just because you're standing behind bethany at the moment carol carol what are you the narrator of the show now carol like she quietly destroys carol non-stop and it's unfortunate because she's trying to make things better but then carol says a remark and so luanne just like will take her down like these micro takedowns.

But Carol is turning into the Eileen of this season, where she gets, like, five million apologies, and then she's, like, judging them. Like, she's judging the Olympic sport. You know, she's like, well, that apology was a three. I didn't believe she didn't stick that one. She didn't stick that one. The problem, the difference, though, is that when Vanderpump gives one of her fake-ass apologies, I always feel like it comes from a place of partially there's a cultural issue there. She doesn't really understand why she's apologizing.

She doesn't get it. Part of it is that she also doesn't think that there's anything to apologize for. And part of it is that she's just like, fuck these bitches. But with Luann, Luann doesn't really commit to the bitchy side of a non-apology she just sort of as she has a she does do very bad faux apologies that's that's what her achilles heels well you can't make somebody feel it i mean you can make being saying you're sorry for doing something is polite because you're just saying i still hate you but i'd like to maybe not hate you in the future so here's like a little bridge we can cross if you want to it doesn't

mean like i suddenly agree with everything you said or it just means maybe i wish i said it differently maybe i wish i didn't call you a pedophile on tv 30 times and then tweeted at you constantly oh summer carol okay there carol. Is that apology okay? Well, it was a five, maybe. Luann's never going to be on the cover of an apology Wheaties box. That's for sure. And then, you know,

Luann, I love when they're basically like, Luann, you were like a raging bitch to Carol. That was forever ago. It was six months ago that was forever like i just love how luann's like ah whatever like yeah well nuland you do sort of have to own it a little bit well six months ago i mean in baby time that's like 10 years i mean just ask the child you're fucking i mean i'm sure he feels like it was a lot longer ago

okay okay i take it back it was before your boyfriend started puberty okay he's like well that was just a couple weeks ago that's my point carol i mean he could have gone to nicaragua 10 times by now so dorinda by the way nothing you nothing makes people look older than having a young guy by their side. I just want to remind people that who think they look so much younger because they're dating someone who's 30 years their junior. I know it makes you feel younger, and I know it makes you feel like you've won something, but it makes you look older. Just technically, I'm saying. Yeah. Also, when you wear a sweatshirt that might be from Forever 21 that says dear santa i want it all that kind of makes

you look older also when you are clearly above the age of 17 and you're sitting on counters in camera stores that also makes you look really old and desperate when the sex in the city theme is your ringtone you look older okay and you know it is you know her phone is like, It's for me. It's mine. Another thing is, like, it's very counterintuitive, but, like, when you roll your eyes like a bratty eighth grader, but you're really over 50, you would think it would make you look juvenile,

but it actually just highlights the fact how old you are and how ridiculous you are for doing that. Luann trying to apologize to somebody that she hates and then carol trying to act like she's on sex in the city is the best like luanne i'm just not that into you luanne i'm sorry okay carol stop quoting the film i couldn't help but wonder are we forever 21 or is 21 forever? They're just dating a guy that looks like Mr. Big. Oh, shut up, Carol. I squirted.

Another thought from the writer, Carol. Oh, do you write audios now too, Carol? Like Luanne's terrible comebacks. What are you, a narrator? Did you write an audiobook? Oh, great. Another epiphany from the author, Carol. Hey, Carol, how about turning the page?

Is this tape ready to be flipped over yet, Carol? I mean, seriously, girl. Girlfriend. Biatch. Luann's comebacks will never get old. Okay, so next up, we've got Dorinda and Jules. Dorinda, who kind of started all of this, she doesn't start the fight with Bethany,

but she is enabling Bethany, okay? And I'm going to blame the same people who keep bringing dorinda bottles of wine when her ass is in rehab it's called enabling okay yeah so dorinda's enabling this and jules is like sick of trying to talk about her possibly dying father which i knew was bullshit when she brought it up so instead she's like well i just want to have fun so let's play a game twisty yeah and jorinda's like, well, I just want to have fun, so let's play a game. Twister, yeah! And Dorinda's like, oh, great. This is going to be so fun, Jules. Yeah, it was just Dorinda and Jules playing Twister, which to me sounded like saying,

hey, let me wrap a paperclip around my body. She's like, I feel like a stack of tax papers. I wish we actually got to see a little bit more of Dorinda playing drunk Twister, because I really would have liked to see... She's the type that you know on game night goes from having fun to taking it too seriously. Hey, hey, it's Red elbow red elbow i made it i made twisted nice i made it nice and you couldn't even put your foot on the blue circle you're killing me she spins the wheel and gets yellow you're calling me afraid wheel start screaming at it. You're calling me yellow? You can talk about me.

You can talk about John. Don't you talk about yellow, yo. You're breaking my heart, Twister. You're breaking my heart. I made it nice. I made it nice. Look, I put all my hands and my feets on the Twister mat, and you tell me I've got to move them?

I made it nice! Oh, Dorinda. So I'm actually glad we didn't have to see that. I feel like they probably started and Dorinda was like, you know what, Jewel? You're a nice girl, but no. I'm not going to play this. Well, it was funny because at this point the squabbling had become so rote that, you know, they're playing this lame version of this lame game of Twister. Ramona is just sitting at a table texting away.

You know, it's just like, hey, does anyone want to play words with friends right now? OK, words with friends. No, Ramona, because you always just try to use the word OK every single time. OK with OK with OK. Don't even have those letters, Ramona. OK. Well, yeah yeah i put five i put five a's in it but i was really upset okay it's a real word okay um twister also um what am i trying to say i'm calling them all the wrong name dorinda

dorinda r automatically winsister. She wakes up under John every day and has not died. Like, she's actually woken up every morning without dying in her sleep. I think if anyone should get Twister,

it's her. Well, she probably likes putting her hands on the red circles. It's like, I'm petting Richard. This reminds me of Richard before he was blown up. You know what?

I take my Richard with me everywhere. Look, it's like 16 multicolored coins. All sorts of different things of Richard. Here's me and Flat Richard at the Paris Museum. Here's me and Flat Richard at the Paris Museum. Here's me and Flat Richard on Hollywood Boulevard. Hey, Flat Richard, you want me to put my foot on you now? Do you want me to put it on blue Richard or yellow Richard? I accidentally dropped Richard before I knew it.

Some little girl was blowing Richard. I said, you can mess with me. You can mess with John. She's like, sorry, I thought it was a balloon. It's Richard's flat, Richard. You know what? I once went to Shea Stadium, and I looked up in the sky, and there was a good year blimp, and I was like, that's Richard, and he's telling me, have a good year.

I never could look at a blimp the same way. That's totally when John dies of a heart attack. She's going to have one half-filled red balloon floating around the living room and a blimp flying overhead. She's going to be like, hey, remember when that blimp disaster happened in the 20s? That was John going back in time telling me he loves me. John going back in time telling me he loves me. How's John trying to give out coupons for dry cleaning to people in the bread lines?

John's like always at the front of the bread line. It's the only thing I ever camped out for. It's like, okay, there's a limit on bread in the bread line, okay, John? He's like ruining the bread lines for everybody. Like America never gets it because we all starved. We never made it as a country because John went back in time and ate all our carbs. I like how this went from Twister to John going back in time to become the Hindenburg to then John just being on a bread line.

The Great Depression. That was a message from Richard back in the 30s to me in the future saying, don't be depressed. We're already loopy. Okay, so they're trying to play Twister. This scene was like two seconds, which is the best part. We're like talking about it for 20 minutes. But in the background, you hear that nasally scream from bethany yeah so basically bethany is now she's now she's trying to explain to luann how people perceive her she's like i'm not saying that this

is what you are but you have a reputation okay you have a reputation of being of stealing boyfriends and you know you're not a girl's girl. That's your reputation. And then Luann refuses to hear this. She's like, I am loyal. I am the most loyal person you have ever known. And you can see Bethany, she is just going bonkers because Luann is not hearing a single thing that she's saying. Well, Bethany wants everybody to come with this great it's like the end of the lawn or order

episode every single time where she's not going to be happy unless there's a monologue where somebody confesses you know like they start crying and confessing because she just did this whole trial and you know finally she was correct well everyone doesn't owe you that what are you the a.a leader like she wants everybody to admit i'm an alcoholic i'm a slut i'm a this well fuck you you're a frigid-ass biatch who couldn't even stay married for more than a year. Or was she? You could barely even stay married. Just stop judging everybody.

Back down, lady. And on top of that, if you were concerned about Luann's reputation, then why don't you pull her aside and be like, hey, you know what? I want you to know that people think this of you, and it's not, you know, I don't think it it's true or I don't think it's probably true. But you should be mindful that people are perceiving this.

But don't just yell at her because that's – I don't think this fight was about what Luann's reputation is. I think that she just – everything was just coming out. So she just like added this in. But then I love that Carol is like, Sonia says that you sleep with half of her boyfriends. And then of course Luann does the same thing. Oh, and you're going like, Sonia says that you sleep with half of her boyfriends. And then, of course, Luanne does the same thing. Oh, and you're going to believe Sonia. Carol! Well, are we going to call Sonia a bipolar drunken mess who doesn't remember anything?

Or does she suddenly have a valuable testimony to offer? I guess the thing is, like, Luanne can never even argue with these people. And it kind of makes me crazy. But also it makes me laugh so hard. So I don't even care. Well, but she's right, too, because they said here, Carol, Carol and Bethany talk about how kooky Sonya is. But then all of a sudden what she has to say is suddenly valid. So it's like you got to take one one or the other.

Bethany, you can't play stupid and smart at the same time. Well, Bethany's hypocrisy is a running theme through this episode. And there's like a bazillion notes coming up to it. So let's just move on to Sonia and her gay 20-year-old bear. Yeah. Sonia's like in her townhome with a raccoon wrapped around her neck, talking to a gay. With a 15-year-old intern just standing by just in case she needs to wipe something off Sonia's mouth or et cetera, whatever she does. But she's packing a Christmas thing for her a Christmas

package for her kid who's at boarding school and she's like I'll just buy him something from Amazon Prime and the gay bear is like uh no girl she needs something from her mother and she's like okay well let's just find things to put in this box here's some gloves that I mean I think people do the dishes with these I mean I don't know like maybe people could fist with them it's Sonia, are we going to have to go through how Sonia can use some random household object as a sexual pleasure tool? Because that's basically what she's doing. She's like, it's a back scratcher. The back of my vagina. Put it in the bag, hon.

I think if anyone needs a care package, it's Sonia. Because she's the one who looks like she has like a college dorm's worth of snacks. She's like, I've got some snack bars. I've got some ramen. Here's a half-eaten package of figs. We're not going to send that. I'm like, what else is coming through here? Here's some Jiffy Pop. I never do Orville Redenbacher.

I've never known what this remote is for. Just put it in the box. Just put it in the box. Here's some AAA batteries. I'm sure she'll need them. One of them looks like they may be corroded, though, so look into that. Her poor kid. She's like, thanks a lot. It's like, take a picture and send it to the family courts. Never have to go back to that leaky-ass house again.

Here's some old fortune cookies from Panda Express from last year. And here's some fortunes. I loved her. She'll probably open this one because it's like from months ago. She'll probably open it and it'll be Bethany yelling at her about stealing something. Roll eyes. But I like that she was

packing stuff and she's holding a bag of skinny pop. It's like, do you want to put this half bag of skinny pop? Oh, don't. Bethany will be furious. She'll accuse my daughter of stealing from her. Here's some pennies. Why don't we put some pennies in there?

In case she comes to a fountain. She literally gave her a makeup remover. She's like, here's some makeup removers. Put them in the box. And then she goes, thank God for Team Sonia. You think my friends care

that I'm all alone around Christmas packing household items for my daughter? No, like who cares? No one cares about Sonia. Interns like I care. All right, Pickles. No, I'm not Pickles. All right.

Pickles is still stuck in the crawlspace. Ramona, she's trying to read a box and she's like, do you want me to read that for you, ma'am? Ramona said don't wear glasses because guys don't like it. Yeah, and then they start talking about how she'd be a sexy French maid with glasses on. She gave her a 10-foot long charging cable for her iPhone 4. It's like the iPhone from like three years ago.

They changed that plug like three years ago. This is literally like she went to the dollar store like or she just she just came back from some god-awful raffle you know raffle makeup removers you won saving one child with cancer at a time and would she she got some like tickler thing and she's like it's like this little plastic thing i don't even it could have been a fucking lego like that's what it looked like if she goes what is this one of those things that scratches your vagina like if you put it in the front they call it a rabbit i'm like sonia for someone who's pretending to be so sexually active still for you to not know what a rabbit is it's crazy because you know that's just like a little vibrator and she's like this plastic thing that does nothing is like that thing i've

heard about on television and then she goes yes this little lego thing without a battery reminds me of things they do in prison shows and it's dirty like what and then the gay guy goes i love those shows they're so creative and then soviet looks at him like gross yeah it was like one of these conversations that i was like are they aware that cameras are rolling meanwhile i think like everything in that care package was basically you know plundered from the cheap prize section of dave and busters here's a shot glass. Yeah, that's the one where you really suck at skee-ball.

Yeah, it's where you get some shitty-ass, wacky sunglasses. So back over in the Berkshires, they're still doing this fight in the kitchen, and everyone's coming in and out of it. It's this festival that goes on for three days, and you just don't want to see every show that's on that stage um bethany has now changed her to bethany goes from raging and ruining someone's life to well i feel kind of bad and now she's at the point where she goes well the wind you know look i don't want to be that person i don't want to be calling someone a whore and a slut but you know like that's what you do to me like i don't want you to be able to

do that to me i'm like oh so that's your apology is i'm sorry that you made me a horrible person because that's not me that was you yeah exactly and then she also um that has this thing uh they're they're back on this thing about the girl's girl and like women that think that you're gonna steal their man and she's and she says you know like that's why ramona doesn't bring her her guys around you because she thinks you're gonna steal them and then the wind's like the's why Ramona doesn't bring her guys around you because she thinks you're going to steal them. And then Luann's like, the reason why Ramona doesn't bring guys around me is because Ramona wants my man, which I actually think has some credence to it. Well, I mean, yeah, but I don't think Ramona was really dating that guy. I mean, she went to dinner with the guy.

Ramona has changed it into seven dates and some kind of relationship, but I don't believe that. Well, actually, I think the real reason why Ramona doesn't bring guys around Luann is because I don't think Ramona really has a lot of guys. I think Ramona, I've always said this, I think she talks a big talk, but I don't think she has guys. So it's easier for her to say, well, Luann's gonna

steal my guys. Luann's gonna steal them. Well, no, no. Look, the more homely friend, the homelier friend, and I'm that in most of my friendships, the homelier friend never wants to go try and pick up people with the hotter friend, because of course people always try to get the hotter friend first. If they

go for the homelier friend first, you know they're trying to use you for something. I mean, I've learned that in plenty of a bar. Yeah. So, you know, who knows why Ramona ramona just doesn't like they just don't like each other they just yeah like for bethany to hate luann i get it it's just that she's trying to kick her off the show and it's gross you know and now she's not winning this fight so now she's apologizing by saying i'm sorry you're such a terrible person that you can

never understand me okay well thanks bethany and yeah is this a part oh no this is where this ramona's not here yet but yeah but this is when luan though because again bethany's like you know what you you know everyone thinks you still man you fuck younger guys you can possess women and you're full of shit and then luan in her interview goes they're trying to torch lou it ain't gonna happen i'm teflon they can't burn me does teflon burn it's like those hot pad things you think you're gonna take something out of the oven they start They can't burn me. Does Teflon burn? It's like those hot pad things. You think you're going to take something out of the oven,

they start on fire at the oven. Well, you don't put them in the oven. This was an important episode because the episode when Luan started talking in the third person frequently. Yes, this is when Luan just finally starts to lose it. Is Luan okay with that apology? Luan wants to move on. Luann accepts.

Are you trying to torch Lu? So here's the first hypocrisy that I caught, is Carol. Well, if you had girl code, you would have called Ramona and said, Hi, Ramona, it's me, Luann. I like a guy. I want to date him. Would that bother you? Really? Because that's exactly why Luann was mad at a guy. I want to date him. Would that bother you? Really?

Because that's exactly why Luann was mad at you last year. Exactly. And you're acting like she's a torturer because you started dating someone you knew dated her niece and you knew was working for her. You refused to tell her and then you acted like no big deal when she was mad. So fuck off, hypocrite. Exactly. And then they start talking about Sonia luanne's talking about how she wants to mentor sonia and that's when bethany and carol rolling their eyes and carol goes you're probably

not the best person for that and it literally goes well thank you carol thank you carol well thank you carol just like shut up you stupid gnat next moment of hypocrisy, Ramona enters and goes, can we lower our voices, please? Like, lower your voices! Whoa, this is crazy. I remember this one time when I was in the Berkshires about two years ago, and I started screaming at everything, and I started to cry because I was

screaming so much. This is crazy. This totally reminds me of that time. Poor Ramona. She probably can't even go around a tractor because it's louder than her and she can't compete. It's like, it's screaming louder than me! I don't like that tractor. It's cutting down grass. Who murders innocent plants like that?

That's rude. You know what it is? It's day class A. I'm sorry. It's day class A, okay? Take us on an accident. No, that never would have worked. Shut up, Ramona. Can we keep it down in here okay this is the

next part of hypocrisy that makes me crazy so Luann's like well look I'm not saying I'm gonna mentor Sonia

and she goes that's literally what she said you're gonna mentor her and she's like well that's not what I meant

I just want to protect her okay I mean Sonia I'm just worried one day Sonia could just die I mean what who's gonna protect sonia she could be dead i mean she could just come home with one of these guys one

day and they'll just i don't know murdering the you know she doesn't even know how to say bed and breakfast i mean what's gonna happen to her and bethany goes well yeah i'm worried about it too oh really so really bethany you're so worried you're trying to take the only job she's had in years away from her you know you're not shut up bethany and're so worried? You're trying to take the only job she's had in years away from her. No, you're not. Yeah, shut up, Bethany. And then Bethany, again, is trying to do damage control because she knows that she called Luanne a whore and a slut and everything,

and she doesn't want to be accused of slut-shaming. So she's like, you know, I'm really sorry for the way I spoke to you because, you know, I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be the one that's angry all the time. And I love Luanne, and her interview was like, have you looked in the mirror? I mean, the bee is back. And and also you have my hair girlfriend have you looked

in the mirror and saw me because you might because it's my hair on your head i'm looking at the man in the mirror oh my god he has my haircut fucking michael jackson too i was so angry when michael jackson lit my hair on fire okay now here's such a beautiful hairstyle sorry honey so bethany at least admits what she's trying to say because she's like yeah i want her to be okay i i don't want sony to die look i just want her to exit i'm like okay well at least you're honest now you're saying you want her like that's literally how they would announce it in TV Guide 2. Yeah. So you exit. It's Real Housewives of New York.

And then Luann's really, like, not backing down on her sorry. She's like, well, then sorry. Well, okay, Carol. Sorry. It's like, well, that's not what I meant. Okay, then sorry. Well, then sorry again. So she won't stop.

So finally, Bethany's like, okay. You know, like, Bethany's anger is like swiping her cell phone. Whenever she gets mad, she picks it up and just starts swiping furiously. So she picks it up, she's swiping and she's like, whatever. Like, fine. It's fine. But look, I just want you to speak. I don't want to talk about this anymore. All I

want you to do is you can only speak to me about what's happening with you and me. I don't want you to talk about what's going on with Carol. I don't want you to talk about what's going on with Ramona. I't want you to talk about what's going on with Ramona. I'm like, really? Because that is your whole fight right now. You're talking about stealing Ramona's man, which is bullshit and you know it.

And you're talking about this thing that happened with Carol, which Carol's even being a hypocrite from last year. So fuck the fuck off, Bethany. Yeah, fuck. I was snapping in support for you. Oh, I like that. You're absolutely correct. You know, I understand the sentiment of what Bethany's saying,

but she's also being a total hypocrite because she is getting riled up about things that actually do not concern her. She's getting riled up about gossip. She's getting riled up. The truth is, at the core of it, she's mad because Carol's her friend and she thinks that Luanne is doing her wrong

and she's being fake. That's fine and that's valid and it's pretty true too but all this other shit like no you can't you can't pile in this stuff with ramona and this and that like it's it's not right and it's wrong i'm sorry and why is it okay for carol to always be saying sonia sleeps with everybody and like she has to sleep with a 10 year old if you let her but now that one person said oh that's sonia young carol is still mad like two years later. Yeah, and by the way, why is it wrong for Luann to be a quote-unquote mentor to Sonia? Because you know what?

Just because Luann sleeps around a lot does not mean that she can't be a mentor. Some people sleep around, but they get their shit together. Hello, Bethany, you're the one who said you probably slept with more people than everyone except for Luann. You just said that last episode. But that's a lie. Bethany's so frigid, and she's even said it. But you're right. But the point is this. You can party, and you can

sleep around, you can do whatever, and still be a very competent person and do all sorts of stuff. And that's why this whole slut-shaming movement that is very new or whatever is kind of all about that. Saying, don't shame someone just because they're having fun.

Why should someone be labeled a slut when they're having fun? Heck, a guy can go out and sleep with a million girls and get wasted with his buddies and no one would question his ability to be a good worker or a leader or whatever. Um,

Sonya, the difference between Sonya and Luann is that Sonya really has some serious delusions. I mean, she really does in terms of like, she's doing this business and that business and she gets taken advantage of easily. And I don't think Luann gets taken advantage of easily necessarily.

And, uh, I think there's nothing wrong with Luann saying, I kind of want to look out for her a little bit I want to keep an eye on her well Luann really won all of this whole fight and no one knows it yet because Luann is actually going to marry a D'Agostino yeah at the end of the day she is a good mentor she sluts around just like Sonia she fucks him in the same bed probably that Sonia fucks them but she ended up with a grocery store chain.

I mean, if that doesn't save mentor for Sonia, like, where else are you going to find a mentor for Sonia? There is no toaster mentor, okay? Sonia needs someone to teach her to not just be a whore. She needs to be a whore for a grocery store chain. There's a huge difference. And if anyone is fit to mentor Sonia, it's Luann. So one point to Luann. But poor Sonia now.

She's going to be like, well, guess what? I'm dating Mr. Shop right now. I'm dating Ivan Staccart. They're like, no, that's the Instacart app. Oh, darn it. I really thought this one was going to last. Big news. I'm dating Ralph.

Who's Ralph? You know, Ralph's. I finally broke up with Mr. Albert gonna last big news i'm dating ralph who's ralph you know ralph's i finally broke up with mr albertson this new guy i'm dating who i'm seeing we've been like fucking a lot his name is joe and he loves to trade things i hope that sonia actually sends her daughter a rabbit like a literal rabbit okay, it's time to have the sex talk. Tell someone on your dorm floor to teach you. Let's just hope it's not boiled. So, now, I think my favorite part of the entire episode

was when there was like a little bit of a lull in the fight temporarily, and Dorinda brought out the lasagna, and Jules was like, oh, great! Kosher lasagna! I'm so excited! Whatever. So everyone's like it's like a pause for dinner and you just hear off the screen you hear him go um guess what this lasagna is incredible guess what this lasagna is incredible okay hey lasagna could you tone down

incredible okay i'm sorry i'm sorry dorinda but this lasagna is incredible, okay? Hey, lasagna, could you tone down your incredible, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Dorinda. But this lasagna's incredible. You better turn around that Santa Claus because he needs to eat it. Stupid Jules. Kosher lasagna is the best thing I've heard all night. Somehow it tastes so much better coming up if no one's touched it first. You know, by the way, there are not many more things that are more short-sighted than cooking an entire lasagna for one woman to eat and that woman is anorexic.

Like, here's a lasagna for everyone to eat and here's a kosher one that's just for Jules. That's called a waste of food right there. I don't even believe that Jules is kosher. I think she's just using that as an excuse to not eat in most situations. Like, sorry, I can't do it. It's not kosher. Cut to Jules jamming her hands into the non-kosher lasagna. Oh, my God.

I put my hands in the non-kosher lasagna. Thank God we don't believe in hell. So let's see. So Luann, they move into the other room, and Luann is getting Carol and Bethany wine, trying to kiss their butts. And they're like, yeah, whatever, thanks. And then they just roll her eyes when she leaves.

And Carol's like, I can't. I can't even take this for one more second. And then Santa comes in. Lady Santa. Of course. I was like, is this Heather? Is she back on the show? Watch out, Santa.

Like, we've all sat on Santa's lap. So watch out. Luann's going to want to steal him now. All right. Just watch out, Santa. You know, you used goods. That means that Luann's going to find you. You like being used?

You like it, Santa? Hey, here's the North Pole, Luann. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Ramona said you fucked him well merry christmas you motherfuckers oh it is heather and bethany i think that's a i think santa has a vagina it's like the year the caitlin like it's crazy like like you'll see people on the street be like are you are you just ugly or are you a woman like i i honestly can't tell anymore like like what's what's happening over here like like what's the brand? It's like

Santa Claus is supposed to be a man, right? Fine, be a woman. All the more power to you. But you have to own it. You have to understand that you have a reputation for giving gifts out to little children. You have to understand that you have that reputation. I don't care. Give gifts to whoever you want. Just have a good brand.

Make sense of your brand. Literally, I can't. Right now, Santa Claus, if I hear another jingle'm literally, my wall is going to be up. I may be on the floor crying. I may be crying under the stockings. Like, literally, like, catch me on fire in the fireplace. Like, literally, like, put me down a chimney and, like, let me die in there. Okay? Like, I don't care.

Like, don't dig me out for another six months. Like, I can't. So what do you know this, Caitlin? Because, like, I want to email him and be like, look, Caitlin, like, what are you doing? Like, you're transgender? Like, what is that? You a man? You a woman? What is that? Like're a man? You're a woman?

What is that? There's transformers. You know that, right? You just feel under the brand? You're going to piggyback off their brand? What? You have a penis? What are you even doing?

I don't even understand the brand. What bathroom are you going to use? What are we supposed to do? Brand. Penis. It's already a brand. Yeah. You have to pick a side.

You just can't do this middle thing anymore. I can't deal with it. You can't play smart and stupid, Caitlin. You can't play man and woman, all right? You have to pick a side it you can't play you can't play smart and stupid gillian okay you can't play man and women all right you have to pick a side like i like i don't get your brand like i don't i don't see what's what's happening here like literally like if i have to figure out your your gender well like one more time i'm gonna be on the floor crying like literally like kill me now like seriously like throw me off a cliff in malibu i can't deal with it anymore then ramona goes let's face it dorinda loves entertaining Oh I'm glad we're finally facing this truth

Guys let's face it okay It's time to face some real facts here Dorinda loves entertaining It's crazy Um guess what I just had seconds of the lasagna And it's still incredible I've got news

I just licked my plate. Okay, tell your friends. Let's face it. Dorinda loves making lasagna. So Dorinda has bought them all these gigantic wine glasses. She's like, it holds a whole bottle of wine. And they're like, wow, great. And then Luanne is like joking way too soon.

And she's like, well, isn't this great? A monogrammed glass. Does mine say stupid man-stealing slut Luann? Am I right, girls? No, like, that's not funny. And then Bethany's like, oh, that's great. Like, she gave us big giant glasses for wine. Like, she's crazy.

Like, next year she's going to give us skinny girl enemas. I'm like, you even have to brand someone else's gift to you. Yeah. Like, why do you have to plug your own stupid thing? Like, what is Dorinda stealing now because she's doing something that holds wine? Yeah. Well, now I know why Sonia wasn't invited. There's no way that Dorinda was going to give her a glass that could hold an entire bottle of wine

and give that to Sonia in good faith. Well, she would have just put it in one of those little $5 anytime boxes at the post office and shipped it off to boarding school. Yeah. Sonia don't need no glass. So now this is kind of funny because now Luann and Bethany started apologizing to each other while simultaneously starting up at the same time. Because it's Christmas. It's like, like oh it's so nice we should be nice like it's christmas like god i wish you just wouldn't be so awful that you

made me so mad you know what i mean yeah i was almost waiting for dennis leary to come barging into the house to rob them and then just won't go away because this basically was the ref all over again this entire holiday right i like that she i like the way that bethany insults people in such a dumb way it's like you're crafty like so now you're mad at me for owning a glue gun great bethany great on a glue gun i don't care see if it's if i can't say it's not a real gun i mean like if you had a real gun like i mean you can have one too like literally i don't care like the way i'm like oh whatever you want like i don't care like i don't i don't want to hear it anymore the way i don't want to hear anymore if you had a real gun, like, I mean, you can have one, too. Like, literally, I don't care. Like, Luanne, like, oh, whatever you want. Like, I don't care. Like, I don't want to hear it anymore, Luanne.

I don't want to hear it anymore. But you're a slut. But I don't want to hear it anymore. Like, literally, like, live your life. Live your life, but you're a slut. You're still people's man. I don't want to hear it. You know that Bethany is grasping when she brings Ramona in to side with her.

Yes. She goes, well, why don't you ask Ramona? Like, why don't you ask Ramona, like, what she feels and why she calls you a man stealer? And Ramona's like, well, I didn't want to say it to you because I know it could upset you, okay? Like, are you okay? It's okay if I say it? Like, you won't yell at me, okay? And she's like, okay,

just say it, Ramona. Just say it. She goes, well, like, if someone's with a guy, like, you need attention and then you move in on the guy. Like, remember that time like you saw me in that restaurant and you were like hi ramona and i said i'm gonna go tinkle and then so i went to them the ladies room and then when i came back you were like talking to the guy i was talking to on that chair and i was like hi i'm back to talk to that guy i was talking

to and you were like this is my chair okay go over, go over there. I was like, that's your huge. Like, that's why we're taking her down right now as being a total whore. Like, we've had more examples on camera of her being a whore than this. Exactly. And I was, like, writing my notes, you know, as Ramona was like, you were at a bar. You were flitting with everyone big time. Big time. But I was writing notes. I was like, well, shut up, Ramona.

You were the one who, like, cock-blocked everyone at Turks and Caicos. And then, boom, Luann's like, well, do you remember our last trip to Turks and Caicos? And then, of course, they pull out the footage of Ramona just icing out Carol and Bethany and talking to the guy who was supposed to be there, I think, to talk to Bethany or to talk to Carol. One of them. I think it was Bethany. Because didn't Bethany come back and say, oh, my God, she's totally cock-blocking-plucking me like look at that like if if cock-plucking was a sport that'd be a quarterback like what what's she doing right there she's running with my penis if i if i had to bust

out my amateur psychotherapist uh abilities which i do on a minute by minute basis i would say that all of ramona's claims of luann stealing guys probably really do come from a sense of jealousy or competition. I mean because if Ramona is the big cock blocker, if she just goes and she likes to go in for the kill and then someone's just talking to Luann at the very least, I'm sure she's like, she's stealing my man. She's stealing my man because that's what she would do. You know what I'm saying? she's like she's stealing my man she's stealing my man because that's what she would do you know i'm saying so she thinks because because that's what ramona does she thinks that if someone is exhibiting similar behavior she automatically seems they're doing the same thing i'm not saying that luann does not steal guys i'm sure she's stolen guys you know but it's just that the fight

has nothing to do with that like bethany is not mad with her about that she doesn't care who luann has sex with she's just like she's just going after to embarrass her to try and get everybody to ice her out. It has nothing to do with her being a slut. And you can tell because Bethany is so focused on it that, first of all, this whole thing is about being a slut and stealing men when then Luann herself brings up, well, you stole a man in Turks and Caicos. She brings up Turks and Caicos.

Isn't that when she had sex with the – oh, no, that's not when she had sex with the thing. But she brings up a vacation and Bethany's like, there, there you go. Because maybe she didn't do it because Luann could turn right around and say, well, that just shows you I don't just steal men. I share them. I mean he was having sex with Sonia the very next night. Well, then Bethany was like, don't talk about what Ramona does. That's not – next night well then well then uh bethany was like i was like don't talk about what ramona does that's not you're deflecting off of what you it was like well no actually she's saying why ramona is a unreliable witness and she is a

biased witness and why therefore your entire argument does not stand up and my favorite was then when luann then took the stand and she was giving herself the third degree does Luann like to flirt yes does Luann like to have a good time yes but did Luann commit the crime does she deserve to do the time no and no your honor I rest myself. The court may be seated. Oh, Luan. If the cotton doesn't fit, you must acquit. Luan's just going crazy.

I like Luan turning into Rain Man. Does Luan see 176 toothpicks? Possibly. Will Luan pick them up? Luan doesn't know. does Luan love Tom Cruise? who doesn't? am I right? alright, glad we worked this out wait, where are you going?

this is not worked out it is, I love Tom Cruise, the end do we have a verdict in this case? yes by a unanimous count of 12 to 0 Luan is untorched innocent Luan, the judgment, the jury is speaking we the jury in new york city find luan cool thank you very much we the jury find luan guilty of being a great

friend and ramona's all mad about the cheating thing she's like but in the turks and cacos like you guys could have like if he wanted to talk to you, he would have talked to you, okay? I'm like, yeah, like every guy who never talks to you. So back off. And then Bethany's like, you're like, what are you? You're like a Venus flytrap. That's not a girl's girl. I've never taken or stolen a man from anyone.

Wait, what did she say? Leave for bed. I'm sorry I called you names, but you're an asshole. Like goes to bed. I forgot what I was leading up to here. Luann, I've never taken or stolen a man. Well, she went because the thing is that everyone went to bed, and then Luann went and sat on Dorinda's big purple couch

that was made from the skinned hide of Barney. And they're sitting there drinking the giant glasses, and Luann's like, I've never done this before. I mean, itann's like I've never done this before I mean it's crazy I've never I never read to them this is just absolutely bizarre well it's the right decision I didn't invite Sonia right she's like well I mean it hurt my feelings these ladies the way that they I've never been called yeah but I'm in the right decision about Sonia right well I'm in at night right yeah I'm in the right decision about showing the ring. Well, you're going to tell her how I made it nice, right? You're going to tell her how I made it nice. Please go back and tell Sonia that Dorinda just did this for you.

I'm like, yeah, Dorinda, you did a really good thing by icing somebody out because some bitch made you. Yeah. Stupid. Stupid. So the next day. Next day, Bethany wakes up with an argument hangover. I feel like I've got a hangover. It's like crazy.

I'm in pain. I can barely open my eyes because I called Luanne a slut so many times. I literally have a hangover from it. I'm like, congratulations. And then they basically insinuate how stupid Luanne and how thirsty and desperate she is. Carol's like, what is she even doing here? If you called me a whore or a slut like you would be dead to me and she's like yeah like like what the hell like if you

ever said those things to me i'd never speak to you again like what the hell i'll bet luan's here like like she's probably down there right now like sleeping with someone's you know someone's boyfriend right now like like what the hell yeah they're shaming her for not being more embarrassed yeah for not leaving when they tried to bully her ass out of the house they're mad at her now like they're now they're basically saying she's desperate now because she still wouldn't leave because her stupid plan didn't work yeah assholes Luann doesn't give a shit about being your friend she's just not going to let you fire her from the show like there is a difference she doesn't need to be like going through the park with Carol it's embarrassing

She doesn't need to be going through the park with Carol. It's embarrassing. Yeah, exactly. Luanne is... I mean, it's too bad because Luanne is really... She's starting to take on a pathetic persona now, which has basically been forced, whether we like it or not, by Bethany. And it's too bad because Luanne is really being resilient through this. She is staying up.

She's just trying to make the most of it. And it's just sort of looking pathetic at a certain point. But I think it's like it's unfortunate. You know, there's like no way around that. Meanwhile, they start trying to take a – oh, what were you going to – Dorinda? I was going to talk about Jules and Dorinda. Oh, yeah. Go for it.

No, I was going to say that Jules like has her one scene of the episode where she's lying in bed with Dorinda saying, she's like, I totally forgot about my kids. I didn't call my kids. This is amazing. I didn't call them at all. This is sort of like the best 24 hours of my life. I'm like, yeah, your dad's dying. Great.

It's a great 24 hours. Yeah, she's already like, no one's going to – I would talk about my dad almost dying, but I don't want Luanne to come in and start talking about what's being mean to her. I can't seem to get that sentence out, so whatever. Yeah. So then they go downstairs and they're making Luann. Luann just keeps trying and trying. She's like, well, you know what they say. Sometimes when people are mad at you, you've just got to make the bacon.

Like, what? I've never imagined Luann making bacon before. It was a weird sight. But she's like, well, here I am, girls. Girls, everyone have a good sleep? I'm making things. She's like about to put the bacon in a blender. They're like, Luann, what are you doing? I don't even know.

And then Jules comes in with typical... Jules has this habit of just ruining whatever food is around or making it totally unsanitary. In this one, she's just taking kitchen utensils and putting them in Dorinda's hair. Like, what is this? I don't even

know what this thing is, like putting it in her hair. It's a head massager. I'm like, it's a whisk, you dumbass. God, well, I'll bet you catch every cold your kids get. Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't make a comment about how bacon is unkosher. Yeah, no kidding. I would eat

bacon, but I can't because I'm Jewish. Also Asian. Do you have any soy sauce for that bacon? Then I could half eat it. So, meanwhile, Bethany and Carol are up to their usual shenanigans, which is that they're, like, you know what? Like, Bethany's like, you know what I want to do? I just want to put on my jacket and close up my suitcase and just leave. I just want to get out of it.

Literally, I can't. If I have to stay here any longer, I'm going to be on the floor crying. I'm going to be on the floor just crying. Just literally kill me now. Just put me outside and just freeze me in the bursters. I can't anymore. I'm like, you know what? Grow the fuck up.

I'm sorry. You created this mess. You started a fight. And Dorinda was lovely enough to invite you up here and now you're just gonna like sneak on out because that's what she and carol do they like they pack up they go out to the suv and they are full fully ready to leave without even saying goodbye and luanne just happens of all people luanne happens to catch them yeah girls girls where are you going did you hear i was making bacon did you then yeah and then

and then carol rolls her eyes like again like an insolent teenager like i can't believe i have to talk to the fat kid you know i heard more like a carol site and then bethany my parents bethany just has this giant wine glass just gives it to the driver like here here do something with this i'm like such a brat he's not your porter he's just the driver so she makes him go in and say goodbye and i also love that they're making it like this party just sucked when they were the ones who walked and shat all over it now they're like bye and then they leave rudely and she's like gosh you can't even throw a party like that was terrible yeah exactly so they go in they give this anybody else did that like tried to leave and then was forced to come say bye and then said it rudely and still left like

you know all in a huff housewives would be going ape shit crazy but because it's the rich one who can get them fired they're like oh that was so nice yeah well i loved i loved also when luan hugged carol gabage like oh and she gives her this big, long hug and then a double thing where she pushes her cheek against her cheek. And that was hilarious to me because Carol was so miserable and Luanne was laying it on so thick. It was such bullshit. I mean, that was one of those moments where Luanne was being totally fake. But part of me feels like she was doing it because she knew it was probably really pissing off Carol. Carol's eyes rolled back into her head so good and then luann

goes they leave and luann's like well that was cold wasn't it was that cold no no she goes she goes that was kind of a cold au revoir and then ramona goes i thought it was a very lovely au revoir they came in they said goodbye like what kind of au revoir do you want like like what do you need like what are you starting an au revoir do you want? Like, what do you need? Like, what are you, starting an au revoir business? You better check it with the Bethany Trademark Office, okay? Um, guess what? This bacon is delicious.

Newsflash! Newsflash. This bacon is amazing. Well, thank you. Thank you. I'm going to give this bacon a good au revoir. I even made sure that the pig that was killed for this wasn't married to some handsome man first. I hope you're all happy.

It's actually made from John. And then we get more sanitary real hassle as of New York City when Ramona spills water on the bacon then puts her hand on the entire plate of bacon and pours out the grease over the sink. I'm giving this water a good au revoir. Au revoir, au revoir.

You know, like they say in France, au revoir. You should have hired a caterer and they could have made you au revoirs to pass around to people. You say tomato, I say tomato, okay? Okay. And Luanne, you know you say tomato i say tomato okay okay and luanne you know she's really one thing i i don't love about luanne is that she uh she doesn't know when to quit when she's ahead like she at one point she walks up to i think dorinda's like oh are you making eggs on the

frances like yes luanne we get it that was your funny thing from last season. You can't redo it again. How many pieces of bacon are there? Let me count us. Okay, Luann. All right. Chic c'est la vie, am I right? Okay. All right.

Did you make any pancakes? So everyone leaves. Okay, Jules' apartment. Just when you think, you know, Jules is really doing, she's using that thing in the Housewives history where you're just're just quiet now she's not doing it on purpose no one will let her talk about her life so it's making her more likable so thankfully we have private scenes where we can remember what a hateable twat she is yeah this one takes place at her home when she buys the cheapest eggs in the store for her children i mean that woman has eggs in the styrofoam container, okay?

She got the wick eggs. Yeah. Those are the bad ones. Yeah. And she's like, oh my God. Like, she's making, she's trying to make eggs, which I can't even believe that she knows how, because usually her pride in her own stupidity, you know, overtakes her. And she's like, eggs?

Like, I don't even know what these are. Like, are there babies in here? I don't want to cook these. But she does. And she's like figuring out how to do it. And she goes, ugh, I don't know how people don't have Like, are there babies in here? I don't want to cook these. But she does. And she's, like, figuring out how to do it. And she goes, I don't know how people don't have nannies. How do people do this? Oh, thank God for my housekeeper, at least.

God. I know. It's like, I don't know if she was just trying to do a shtick for the show, but it was just totally insufferable. It's embarrassing. And she goes, oh, eggs? My mother would never do this. What? Like, make egg?

Cook? Cook? Or complain? Oh, by the way, my dad had surgery for his pneumonia. I was like, uh, no. No, he didn't. It took his pneumonia bone out. Everything's fine.

Yeah, okay, weirdo liar. I don't think there's a surgery for pneumonia, Jules. She's like, yeah, but now he's also going to get hip replacement surgery. I'm like, oh, good. Okay, pneumonia wins. Yeah. Just be quiet over there. Yeah, and I think that her big triumph was that she finally made a cup of coffee.

Yeah. Which, by the way, making coffee is a recurring theme this week on Bravo. We'll get to that on Below Deck. Bethany. More Bethany. More Bethany. So Bethany and Carol, they're in Bethany's apartment and of course,

Carol's just like, yeah, I'm here. Hey, what do you want? Some toast? Do you like avocado toast? I think you'd like that. You'd like avocado toast, right? Like I've made avocado,

it's like smushed up, it's like avocado, you unwrap it, you smush them up, you're eating it. Look at you, you're eating it. You like eating it?

What's the matter? What's the matter? You want some avocado toast? You don't want toast? You don't like avocados? You don't like toast? You don't want any of them? You want anything? All right, don't have anything. It's fine, I don eating it? What's the matter? What's the matter? You want some avocados? You don't want toast? You don't like avocados? You don't like toast? You don't want any of them? You want anything?

All right, don't have anything. It's fine. I don't care. What's the matter? What's going on? What's happening here? And then Carol does that thing because Carol has zero

going on in her own life. Like, even the man who's supposed to be taking her whole life barely wants to talk to her on Facebook or on FaceTime. So she's like,

ha ha ha ha ha. What? What are you laughing at? Is it toast? I'm just laughing because I'm giving you a cue line to start complaining about everybody so I have something to do in this scene. All right. So then Bethany goes off. Well, I'm not slut-shaming.

You know, like, people don't even know what slut-shaming is. Like, slut-shaming is when you're like, oh, boo, you're a slut. I'm not saying it's, like, the number of people she's sleeping with. You know, I'm just saying, like, you could be a slut with one person. I'm like, what are boo, you're a slut. I'm not saying it's like the number of people she's sleeping with. I'm just saying like you could be a slut with one person. I'm like, what are you even talking about? Stop. You were slut shaming. You are.

That's all you're doing is slut shaming. And then sure enough, we then – it's now like back to the same old bullshit with like, oh, Ramona is having a party. So I'm like, I don't even want to go. I don't want to. Do we have to go? I'm just going by that it's like you know you are it's just getting irritating now and carol trying to use her young people slang all the time she's like i just can't with that okay carol you're sure getting jiggy with it over there yeah totally

Bethany's like well I don't know maybe it's like the Berkshires like that's where the poor people live like I don't know like I get angry like I go berserk every time I go out there and Carol goes I think it's Dorinda's house like it's probably her late husband's ghost like he must have been a yeller just imagining

the ghost like Luanne's a slut. Call Luanne a slut. You know, make fun of her fur jacket. These are the most petty ghosts of all time. Either that or they're actually like, I take it back, these

ghosts are like, let's just have some fun with these bitches. Let's just possess them and make them have a cat fight. We don't want to kill anyone we don't want to anyone to a witch let's just possess and just have them accuse each other being yeah let's just have Beth Miguel with somebody it's like this is what everyone thinks the conjuring 2 is opening this Friday no it aired last night mm-hmm the conjuring 2 like what is that conjuring is trademark right yeah I don't get it very far me guysuring is trademarked. What? Like, I don't get it.

Farmiga's going to come here and be, like, my medium? Like, I don't get it. Like, what's happening here? Like, okay, like, all right, I'm possessed. I'm like a witch. Like, what's going on? Like, I'm going to go kill people? Like, I don't get it.

Like, there's a doll that's going to come alive? I don't get it. Like, I don't want it. Like, they're going to, like, kill me right now. But don't come in and buy a ghost, okay? Poor Dorinda and her ghost balloon. Yeah, I knew that that balloon was Richard because it would just float into the living room and just stare at me and start calling me a slut.

Okay. Yeah, sounds like Richard's ghost. The power of Christ implies you to leave the spirit of the balloon. That movie, The Red Balloon, it's just like, or transcribed into English, you're a slut. So now it's time for Ramona's party. Ramona's party. Like, this is crazy. Like, I have an announcement to make.

It's time for my party, okay? Like, I love the food. Like, you're making so much food. Like, I want to taste it, okay? What's your name? John? Oh, my God. Do you know the other John?

Like, he's terrible, but you didn't hear from me. What else do you do besides cook well, John? Huh? Do you have sex well? Do you have sex? Are you single? No? Why are the singles?

You know what I always say? The single ones, they're either taken or they're gay. I just made that up. That's new. That's a new thing that people say. I made that up. I loved when she pulled out they're gay or taken again. I again i laughed so hard because listen she's the one who said that last year it's actually i mean she says it every time it's crazy like i'm dating i'm like these guys

like they either taken and they're gay it's like crazy it's like yeah guess what guess what this this cocktail wiener it's amazing hello i'm sorry i'm sorry guess what this spanakopita is amazing um let's face it this toast is so good let's face it this party company loves throwing parties so ramona acting like she's always the nice one she's like this is crazy i hope people don't fight at my party like it's nuts okay like why are the heels so in the ground yeah she had a lot of mixed metaphors during this scene i didn't even bother writing them down because they were like non-stop well thankfully um a mixed metaphor in um fabric form walks in as luann enters in her jumpsuit what are you wearing it's like this red lace jumpsuit over wallpaper yeah it's like a i don't know some weird thing at mervyn's i sort of liked it and i and i liked how ramona's like

whoa you look great and when i go it's my collection of liked it and i i liked how ramona's like whoa you look great and when i go it's my collection and she's like oh i don't know if i like it yeah she goes it's from my collection do you like it i'm not sure am it okay if i say i'm not sure i'm not sure i like patterns she's like it's not patterned it's lace well i don't like lice either. Like, they're so itchy. No lace. You know, the fabric. Well, it looks like fabric. I thought you would like it. It's opaque couche.

Looks like a leopard to me, but what okay? I mean, whatever. Do what you want to, Louie. Okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't like it. Now, here's what you need to do, okay?

Let's face it. You need to apologize to Bethany. Oh god! No! Not again! Ramona has decided she's going to coach everyone and it's a disaster. Yeah, so here we go again. Apology times three. But this time she tells her like this is how you have to apologize.

You know, Carol, I think the problem is okay, my first advice was wrong. Don't just say I'm sorry for calling you a pedophile. This time you have to say, I'm sorry I didn't apologize earlier, okay? Okay? It's like, you apologized, but you didn't do it at the right time, okay? It's like getting a Christmas present on Halloween. You're going to be like, what the hell, Santa?

You know what I mean? So Bethany and Carol are sitting on a little couch, being the spoiled sports that they are, being too cool for everyone and being like, we have to be here because we're contractually obligated. And Luann comes and sits down. And, you know, they're like, ugh. And we're sort of like, ugh, too. But we're more like, here we go again. You know, Luann is going to, like, what's that term?

Prostrate yourself on the cross or whatever. Yeah. But, like, so here comes Luann. Oh, God. Look at it. It's like Jack and the Beanstalk walking over here. I Luan. Oh, God. Look at it. It's like Jack and the Beanstalk walking over here. Okay. No, it's the giant from Jack and the Beanstalk.

Not Jack. Jack and the Beanstalk are not walking over to you. We're going to talk about mixed metaphors. I'm going to bring it up. Beanstalks don't walk. So there, Bethany. Kai. Yeah.

Well, I mean, one of them is a Beanstalk, and it's not Luan. Not to mention that jack like is literally the origin of the golden goose so i don't know who you think you're criticizing but yeah but anyway so dot dot dot that was a moment for the listeners to think okay sometimes we just want you to think about things all right i'm sorry um guess what this goose is laying golden eggs okay so luann comes over she's um trying to make small talk she's like hi girls they're staring straight ahead carol's rolling her eyes and bethany is looking straight ahead refusing to look at her and she's like look carol i know that you don't think I was sincere when I said I'm sorry.

So I just wanted to come over and say I'm really sorry. Yeah. Okay. And I should have done it sooner. And I'm really super duper, super sorry. And I'm sorry. And she's like ah well uh well okay well that apology got like i guess a four okay you know and i was like i thought it was actually

a really good apology and and then again when when luanne said i miss you as a friend and carol's like she starts she starts to roll her eyes and she's gonna make a snotty comment and then she stops herself for the first time all season long she stops going to make a snotty comment. And then she stops herself for the first time all season long. She stops herself from being a snot and just says, thank you. But, but you know, it's not going to work.

Carol's the sort of person when she's written you off, she's written you off and there's nothing you can do. And Bethany, but like the thing was like, I was just like, what got me enraged was like the skinny girl stuff. Like trying to take credit for my thing. I never took credit for skinny girl.

It's just that I was there when I came up with it. That's all I'm trying to take credit for my thing. She's like, I never took credit for Skinny Girl. It's just that I was there when I came up with it. That's all I'm trying to say. No, you see, you did it again. What? What did I say? Okay, I wasn't there when I came up with it. I wrote it down on a cocktail napkin. You were having dinner alone.

No, you're not saying what I'm trying to say. Look, all I'm saying is, like, it could have just been girl. And I said, no, it should be Skinny Girl girl that's all i'm trying to say bethany well did luann did luann come up with skinny girl absolutely not did she come up with the idea of a cocktail that was for skinny girls probably no i actually don't think that luann was trying to i think the way i was just i think luann just wants to have credit for being there at that moment. Like that she was somehow part of – not that she was part of the journey, but like part of the journey not in the creative aspect, but like isn't it – like I remember like being there at this big Genesis moment. And Bethany just doesn't want to give it to her.

And part of it is because Luann phrases it incorrectly. But all Luann said was, well, I'm, you know, I was there at that moment, and then immediately Bethany's like, you gotta stop, you gotta stop, like, here we go again, like, you know what, like, okay, here's what you gotta do, Luann, like, you gotta start practicing, like, I say, I did not create Skinny Girl, can you say that?

I did not create Skinny Girl, good for you, here's a biscuit. I'm like, you're so fucking condescending, Bethany. And Luann's like, okay, uncool, not uncool, exool eggs of la francaise says lovey did i do it right not listening to me um but also i would like to remind everybody because this just dawned on me while i was watching it this entire fight started what last year two years ago i don't even remember but a long time ago when bethany wrote a book and and asked at the reunion, Bethany, at the beginning of your book, you in the dedications, you thanked Luann for being there or whatever the beginning was. Andy was the one who was like, you thanked Luann for being there for the skinny girl thing.

And she was like, yeah, yeah, I did. Because like we were sitting there, we haven't done it. It's like I was just like, you know, like, thank you. And she was like, yeah, yeah, I did. Because we were sitting there, we were having dinner, and I was just like, thank you. That was wonderful. And that's how this all started. So somehow this has turned into Luann taking credit when Bethany was the one giving her credit for being there, at least.

And of course we saw the clips at that time where Luann didn't come up with it, but Luann didn't say she came up with it. This whole thing started because at the reunion, Andy said, you gave her credit. Why did you give her credit or whatever? And it was nice. But now two years later, it's turned into this whole thing.

Luann didn't take credit for it then, and I haven't heard her take credit for it since. No, Luann, all Luann is trying to do is bask in the reflected glory, which is actually a social psychology term, which is like there's an actual social psych term called bask in the reflected glory. And you see it when there's like an ugly person who hangs out with a hot person. And they do that because – well, for the hot person, it gives them a boost, like a self-esteem boost. It lifts them up.

And for the ugly person, they bask in the reflected glory because it makes them feel more special because they're hanging out with the hot person. And I think Luanne is just trying to bask in it and be like, wow, I was there. I was there when it all happened. Isn't that so cool? I was there when Bethany coined the skinny girl thing. I was there. there like when bethany when bethany coined the skinny girl thing i was there she just wants to take credit that not for the margarita but that she was like there at this like cool moment in pop culture you know and that like it's just all been taken so far and i don't even understand

where bethany's coming up with this like has there been a clip of luann taking credit because at this point it's brought up 20 times an episode every argument is about it and that's bethany's reason for trying to call her a slut make her look like a total idiot in front of everybody, is something that has nothing to do with it. And Andy was the one who brought it up. And Bethany was the one who thanked Luann for it in the first place. Yeah, like if they'd never gone to dinner together, then that scene probably would not have been on the air and, you know, and everything would not have come from that. I think that's all Luann. I think Luann just wants people to say, that's so cool that you were there at this moment. That's so not uncool. And then Bethany makes another one of her stupid comments

and it makes no sense. She's like, ah, there's Luann again. Jack and Jill, they went up a hill and then they just talked a bunch of stuff and refused to say I'm sorry. And then somebody fell down. Like, you know, now Jill's forever single because, like, Jack's dead. What are you even talking about?

What are you talking about? Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a pail of water or some shit, didn't they? Like, what do you have, water now? Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. It really is just a story of two clumsy-ass people, that's all. Yeah.

Pretty much. Like, Humpty Dumpty, like, sat on the ledge. Humpty Dumpty fell off the edge. Like, and all the King's people, they put it back together, okay? Like, Humpty Dumpty's, like, stupid. He's, like, a fat egg. Like, what are you doing sitting on the edge?

Like, literally, like, if you're an egg, like, just stay in your carton. Like, literally, like, I don't get it. Like, what sort of egg do you think you egg like just stay in your carton like like literally like i don't i don't get it like what sort of egg do you think you are like luann's like a big stupid egg who falls off ledges like i i can't like literally like just like just go boy i'll say boy i'll say like literally i can't i'm like scrambled eggs a la francais get it right so uh sonia isn't there and so they're finally sick of fighting about this for now so luann's like uh, or Bethany, someone's like, where's Sonia? And Luann goes, oh, God, I haven't even seen her because I have a boyfriend.

And then she starts twinkling. Like, she's so happy. And Bethany's like, ah, the one you saw for Ramona, that guy? Like, there's a Ramona guy? I'm just going to call him Ramona guy from now on. There's Ramona guy, right? She's like, yes, yes, the Ramona guy. Ah, like Luann. It's like, Lu the ramona guy like luann it's like luann

like a relationship is the doggiest like you meet a guy and then boom like like suddenly you're married i'm like uh like you meeting that rando guy who never even spoke and then getting married to him for a spinoff like six months later who the fuck do you think you're kidding lady yeah that's true they were like he was nowhere then of a sudden, like a fiance within one season. Yeah. She's like, I need a man. Like, that's it. Like, it's my brand now.

Like, I'm married. So, you know. So, so finally, so there's all this scuttlebutt of when Sonia arrives, everyone has to make sure that Sonia goes and apologizes to Bethany. Sonia, like, you have to go apologize. Like, when she shows up and Luann's like, well, I've been talking to her. I've been coaching her. I'm going to make, I've been telling her how, how to apologize to Bethany and what she should say.'s like, well, I've been talking to her. I've been coaching her. I've been telling her how to apologize to Bethany and what she should say.

Ramon's like, I've been telling her to do that too. I've been texting with her. I've been doing this and this. Everyone's talking about how Sonia's going to make amends with Bethany, right? So Bethany, at one point, she's decided. She's like, okay, I'm leaving in 10 minutes. I'm going to go in 10 minutes. I'm going to get on my phone right now.

I'm going to talk for those 10 minutes. I don't have to talk 10 him so she gets up phone swipe phone swipe phone swipe she's on her phone and she's walking and then sonia starts to approach this the the door it's a glass door so she can see sonia but she's like oh jesus christ oh i'm gonna kill she goes i'm gonna kill myself like i i'm gonna fight kill myself so i'm like already bethany's being totally rude so sonia walks in i had bethany actually said this on the phone she goes oh god like I gotta get out of here. I'm gonna kill myself. I've had enough this week. I feel so beaten down. You feel beaten down?

You've done nothing but beat everybody down. How do you feel beaten down? I'm so sorry. I'm sure Hitler was exhausted too. Turning on all those showers. Fucking bitch. Yeah, she said, I've had enough for one week. I literally can't.

I literally can't. So Sonia walks in and, you know, she's all smiles. And, you know, this poor woman, she's just been excluded from this trip. Little does she realize that she was done a favor, but she was excluded. She's feeling hurt as it is. She got reamed out by Bethany the last time she saw her. She walks into this party just trying to put on like a you know just try to have fun and everything and immediately the woman descended like you gotta talk you get you gotta talk to son you gotta i'm sorry you

gotta talk to bethany you gotta talk to bethany you gotta talk to bethany so he's like fine fine fine so so sonia walks over to this couch where everything seems to be happening in the couch and first she says she first she's she kisses hello to maybe it's Dorinda and then to Carol. Meanwhile, you see Bethany in the background like zooming on out faster than if John were there dressed as a pumpkin.

She is out. She speeds out. she leaves. Bethany basically Bethany leaves and everyone's like did you say you didn't say you didn't apologize to bethany you sonia she's leaving right now she's leaving right now and sonia's like well why should i apologize she doesn't want to talk to me i was here she walked away she doesn't want to talk to me why should i go chase her down

and i was like that's absolutely right sonja morgan like standing ovation for you like why should you chase down this bitch right now yeah i'm so glad she didn't and bethany acts like she's so strong yet she's the one always starting shit and then running away like a little pussy because she can't take the aftermath of what she did and since when is everyone so scared of sonja has sonja ever been mean to anybody ever? Name one time that Sonia. And that is quite a feat for a housewife. I mean, Sonia is probably one of the only housewives I can remember in history to ever tell somebody off in an unfair way or accuse them of something they didn't do or lie about them or even talk shit about them. Like, the most shit she ever talks

it's like well luann like she has sex with all my boyfriends but she'll say that in a way like she's proud of luann yeah i think the only time she ever was bitchy to someone was when she got into that fight with alex mccord about who was going to be like the grand marshal of the gay pride parade there was like some weird like yes you're right actually yeah but she even didn't do that on camera she called them and said i'm not going to do it yes you're right actually yeah but she even didn't do that on camera she called them and said i'm not going to do it if you're telling me like i'm the head of this parade or the grand marshal of this parade and then you get alex i'm not marching with alex like none of that even happened on camera and she was being a bitch but she yeah she she

has yelled she has screamed but it's usually out of frustration because she's not being heard or understood and so here she is looking great uh showing up just wants to have a good time and she's sitting there and everyone is like why aren't you talking bethany's leaving in five minutes why don't you talk bethany and then bethany leaves and you know luanne is like we talked about this we talked about this with this desperation like please you can't be cut out of the show because then i'm gonna be next you know yes exactly you're my only shred of hope yeah and they are and she's like she's like why do i have to talk like well now she's gone she's gone you know we said she's leaving in five minutes you didn't bother you didn't even go over and say goodbye she's like i came over here and she went away if i came over here any sooner she just would have left two

minutes sooner like it's like like she did not like she did not want to speak and i'm not going to change it if she says she's so she doesn't want to talk then i'm not going to talk to her i'm you know i've got more self-respect so sonia goes i'm not going to aggregate her i was like okay so sonia's officially not starting a new site about bethany links yeah okay that's good to know that's good and then uh durant wait who was saying this to her oh luann's like you told me remember on the phone i told you just drop this whole tipsy girl thing and you said you would she's like i did not say that i did not say that and then ramona goes then why did you send a million text is and sonia's like well the text is like i said a

million text is and then she starts getting mad because everyone's like squawking in her ear about stupid bethany and these texts so sonia finally stands up and starts yelling and she's like listen here girls i was sending those text is about not being invited to the party and then i was sending bethany texas about being nicer to me and being friends. Okay stop crossing my texts Diz. Yeah. And it was great because she then managed to turn this thing

into hey I'm really annoyed that I wasn't invited. And then Dorinda's getting mad. She was like I spared you like I did the right thing. No I did the right thing. I did the right thing you know. Dorinda had fucking nerve to miss. She's like, I spared you. Like, I did the right thing. No, I did the right thing. I did the right thing, you know? Dorinda had fucking nerve to miss. She's like, come here, Sonya.

Like, Sonya, sit on the couch with me. And you see what I was doing right now, you see? Like, I was trying to protect you. You see what I was trying to protect you? And she's like, oh, yeah, I feel so protected being the only friend not invited. So if you would rather exclude me and have everyone else rather than me, I think great. I mean, I don't exclude people. And Dorinda's like, it was from a place of love.

I didn't feel like it was a healthy environment for you. And then she starts crying like she's a fucking victim here. Yeah, she starts crying. And, you know, Sonia's basically like, well, you chose her over me. She's like, I didn't choose. I was protected. She's like, well, I don't disinvite someone because someone else says they're not going to show up if that person comes. I don't do that.

That's picking a side. And then Dorinda's crying. I felt like Sonia was so in the right, and she so articulated herself so properly. She did. And with Dorinda, this woman just called you an alcoholic, said your man was snort, snorting meth or coke or whatever outside. Like, she's doing everything she can to humiliate you, and you still pick her side just so you can have a platform to sell your stupid chocolate martini bullshit. is stupid and it is bullshit and she shouldn't do it it's not smart and um it's it's not right but you know what like she's under no obligation to stop okay she's under absolutely none just because they said it and she was like listen i never agreed to any of this you guys told me what you think i should say but i never said i would do it and like quite frankly i'm not going to

and my favorite is that she's now in this huge tizzy and she goes this doesn't work and also this party sucks so bye yeah she goes everyone said that party sucked so whatever and she like leaves so she's stalking down the stairs and not even not even at the stairs she's still at the door and they're still there luan has i think it's luan has stopped or maybe it was ramona there she's at the door before the staircase and And again, like, you need to, like, you were supposed to apologize to Bethany, and she keeps saying, well, if you want me to apologize to Bethany, then you should have brought me

up to Dorinda's, where I could have had some one-on-one play, da-da-da-da-da, and she's like, you need to apologize, this is the right, you should have done it in the right place, and then Sonya just loses her shit. She goes, the right place was Dorinda's! And I was like, I wanted to just, like, stand up from my couch. I don't think, actually, the right place was Dorinda's, but I was like, I wanted to just stand up for my couch. I don't think actually the right place was Dorinda's. But I just loved the way she just, the passion behind it.

Like, fuck you. Yeah, good for her. Because it takes a lot to get her to that point. And you had last season where they're all ganging up on her about this alcoholism stuff. Which is another thing that's probably true. She does get too sloppy. But they make it so mean No one is coming from a good place

You know, they're all acting like they're such good friends They're just trying to help her when they're basically just trying to help Bethany kick her off. It's obnoxious and Luann's like oh You're yelling. This is the wrong place. It's like well, yeah, well, we're in public now But you chose not to invite me to the private thing. So when do I get to yell? I'm only getting to shoot scenes packing like shit that i'm literally finding behind the dumpster for my daughter like yeah when are we supposed to have this argument she told me off in front of 20 year olds already yeah exactly and you know probably by the way the producers were the ones who stepped in and told sonia to do this tipsy girl thing you know that which is probably why it's also really hurtful

to her that like she's like i'm just following marching orders, and now next thing you know, you're all yelling at me. But then it goes to the staircase, and that's when Sonya just really has... She says it best, you know? Because, again, they're talking about what's going on, da-da-da-da-da, and Sonya is saying, why should I talk to Luann?

I'm sorry, to Bethany. You know, Carol says she has no hard feelings, so what do you call these? Soft-boiled? It's so great. And she's right. Like, how do you say that she has no hard feelings and then she runs away from her immediately? It's bullshit.

Yep. Well, that's Bethany for you. She shoots and she runs. At least sometimes she shoots. You got to give her credit for that because a lot of times she'll just run. She'll just show up, criticize everything behind everybody's back and leave. But, you know, I love having Bethany back on the show. I think she's so entertaining.

I think everything that she's bringing up is so entertaining. She's hilarious. I love that she has a sense of self when she does fuck up and she's like, all right, I feel bad. But then she keeps doing it. And then she sits there with Carol and her and Carol are both acting like little cut fitnesses. And whenever they sit there and just refuse to speak to somebody or they leave somebody's house, I mean, they're just fucking assholes. These girls need to be put in their place. And if this show is going to last, obviously it's been fun.

But it's been fun because Bethany has people to yell at mostly. And also the ladies are so kooky. They can't just find these cookie cutters to make Bethany happy because no one will ever make Bethany happy. Yeah, I actually I still really love Bethany. I love how smart she is. I love how self-possessed she is. I love how quick she is with her words. I like that she defends her brand, you know, viciously.

Like, I really admire that. But I think that in this case, this entire situation, she's just totally she's just wrong. There are parts of her argument. let me rephrase that. There are parts of her argument that are right. Luann is fake. Luann is not honest about certain things. That is true. But I think the level of vitriol that Bethany has brought to this is uncalled for.

And I understand that there are issues that have built up over ten years. But Bethany has to realize that she's being hypocritical and uh she's just on the losing end of this one and and the truth is that she and carol are acting like immature mean girls it was more fun last year when they were the funny ones uh sort of acting like a greek chorus for the madness but they seem to have leaned into that too far and now they just think that they're the coolest ones at the party and it's making them awful yeah the great chorus narrates it doesn't call everybody on stage a bitch and it's like usually usually yeah typically typically yeah so see you

later beth and i what a bitch but what a fun bitch fun bitch bitch. I just hope that if they do fire Sonia and Luann, I really hope that casting is smart enough to replace them with the women who invented Skinny Pop and Skinny Bitch. Just cast everyone who trademarks skinny things before Bethany, and let's really watch them for a fly. Because at this point, it's just Bethany being rich and everybody allowing it because she's the rich one. Or Bethany being a bitch and everybody allowing it because she's the rich one. If Sonya and Luann do not survive the season and Jules does, then it's a major

travesty. What they really should do is ax Jules and they should bring in a strong entrepreneurial woman and that will really be The key is diet products, though. It has to be someone who sold diet... It has to be someone who does anything that Bethany does. Any kind of

diet product, any kind of popcorn. I mean, I don't even care. Bethany's... Everything that Bethany does is something stolen from somebody else. She has those diet skinny bars, like the Think Thin bars, or the Luna bars. She has... Diet alcohol is the only thing she came up with on her own and it's really just a margarita the way it is the problem is that any

woman who has who has who is at the level of bethany in terms of success from an entrepreneurial endeavor probably does not want to go onto reality tv they don't need it but she but since bethany was sort of born from reality reality tv she's still in it but like any really super successful like uh ceo female ceo out there in the new york area is probably not going to want to go on to the show oh please they don't come up for the money they come on for the fame honey i know but i still think there's got to be some kind of fame horse CEO out there to take it over. Like, what, does Bethany go to the movie and start screaming at the beginning with the dancing popcorn that tells you to turn your phone off?

Bitch. Like, let's go out to the movies. Like, I'm already here. Like, what's going on? Like, why are you telling me to go to the movies? I'm here. Like, you're talking down to me. Like, I don't get it. Like, why do I want to go to concessions, okay? I'm in the theater now. Like, if I wanted concessions, I would have gotten them before, okay? Like, I don't want to go to the snack bar all right like literally like stop like you you have to stop you have to stop telling people how to live their life popcorn

okay like you and the hot dog just go to the snack bar okay and leave me out of it all right you know what you can talk about the snacks and just you only talk to me about things that happened between between two of us okay like literally enough i want to watch between i just want to watch this amelia clark movie okay enough amelia clark she stole her name from amelia air hot she flew a plane like i mean it's crazy it's like the first slander i've ever seen how lucky are you to have me teach you about me oh for those of you who are new to the show here on episode 300 this is the segment where we make fun of caroline fleming's page. She's from Ladies of Loans.

Oh, and she is just precious. She's a peach. Yeah, she has just a very hilarious Instagram unintentionally, and we just like to leaf through it every now and then. Okay, so you go first. All right. There's a photo of her in the sun. It's a selfie. She's wearing, she basically has, she has a lot of skin exposed.

And she says, First time ever sunbathing in my garden in London. Just divine and much needed after sleepless nights due to chicken pox in the family. Appreciating this moment intensely. X space X space X. At Marianne Tromborg. At Tromborg Calm. Hashtag suncare.

At Melissa Obadash. Hashtag bikini. X space X. I love her hashtags. Does she ever pay for anything? Does she walk into like TJ Maxx and she's like, what can I hashtag in here? And you give it to me. would love this paris picture how many hashtags you need for me to put it on my instagram for free well she also has the most generic hashtags like she takes a word

where if you hashtag it it's like hashtag sun it's like great there's gonna be like a million hashtags about that i wonder how many more people today are thinking about asphalts. I'm going to search this hashtag. She's like, I'm standing on a hashtag step. Okay, so this one, she is standing on a hashtag step. And she's, you know, dressed pretty. She's so beautiful. So she's dressed all pretty.

And it says, Caroline Fleming official. Hashtag summer nights at the leblanc which i don't know if that's matt leblanc hashtag clutch at samuel dougall hashtag jumpsuit hashtag manolo hashtag shoes hashtag bylenberger hashtag shaw's hashtag shawl i mean dash enjoy yours out there x space x it's crazy there's another one hashtag shawl like every memaw is like finally

finally that hashtag shawl stream has something interesting in it they get a ding for the first time on their Instagram finally my safe search came up shawl by the first time on their Instagram. They're like, oh, finally, my safe search came up. Shull. By the way, half of her Instagram takes place on the front steps of her townhome. Because every photo is her standing on it or walking a few feet away from it.

And there's one of her where she's on the steps in this really cute dress that's these lines, whatever. And she's got her legs doing a thing. And she's holding up something and she goes happy to share with you my friend at g coleridge nicole new scent hashtag lux by sheer lux hashtag sheer lux at by merlberger copenhagen at at by merlberger hashtag dress at isabella moran hashtag boots hashtag weekend hashtag london so this cracks me up because a you know there's Hashtag dress at Isabella Morant. Hashtag boots. Hashtag weekend. Hashtag London. So this cracks me up because, A, you know, there's the hashtag boots, hashtag dress. But also, thank you for sharing with me a scent that I can't smell on Instagram. Scratch and sniff.

Hashtag your screen is scratched. Hashtag get new screen. Hashtag Sony. Hashtag screen. Delivery's here. unsniff hashtag your screen is scratched hashtag get new screen hashtag sony hashtag screen it's like what you did deliveries here new computer screen caroline fleming um i wanted to add something today to the clear the flame which has nothing to do with her but okay people have been posting a lot of yolanda instas on our page yolanda dot hadid um and i thought this one was so good because there's also an announcement in it and it's long so watch out the picture is yolanda in some luxury hut in tahiti which i've learned from reading her instagram writing on a macbook air i think she's writing her novel in evernote so if that tells you how serious she is about it, there you go.

Yolanda Hadid. Heart! Thank you to my smart and express for publishing my book, Believe Me, in all caps. I hope that book really does come out in all caps, because that would be hilarious. It took so much time, research, and money, and effort to get properly diagnosed, dot

dot dot, only to find out there is no cure, exclamation, and sound effect sad horns. It has been an eye-opening experience while I started to uncover the mystery of chronological neurological Lyme disease and the stigma.

I'm glad she's got all of her diseases in one thing since she keeps changing them every week. She's like, and cold, and also flu, and a possible gout. And the stigma around it, comma. I felt a strong sense of the obligation to share my journey with the millions of people suffering from this debilitating disease and worldwide epidemic.

Chronic Lyme is now a worldwide epidemic, you guys. I don't know if you knew, but wear your face masks. It feels so good to finally be able to write and share with you the details of my treatment and diagnosis and the spiritual growth I acquired during the darkest days of my life while navigating the uncertainties and the maze of chronic invisible diseases. Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot.

There's like 20 dots. Hashtag life disease awareness. Hashtag we must find a cure. Hashtag believe me. Pre Hashtag we must find a cure Hashtag believe me Pre-orders available Oh my god It's the feel bad book of the summer That's what I want to do I want to spend you know

Hours upon hours reading about Yolanda's sad self involved journey Oh Yolanda So if anybody Needs to find that book Just look around at Barnes and Noble about Yolanda's sad, self-involved journey. Oh, Yolanda. So if anybody needs to find that book, just look around at Barnes & Noble and you will hear it screaming at you in all caps. And there you go.

So, congratulations, Yolanda. And congrats on Tahiti. I mean, this is the way to be sick. I mean, her entire page is her in bikinis posing in Tahiti. The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow in Tahiti.

Hashtag Lyme disease. Hashtag poor people don't get to come to Tahiti even if they have Lyme. Sorry. It's not my fault. Dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot. Yeah, I'm looking at it now. It's just so insufferable.

Just, just so really awful. All right, well, clear her. Clear the yo. Clear, clear, clear the, clear the phlegm. Clear the phlegm. Clear the phlegm. Doo, doo, doo, doo, do, do, do, do. Okay, so now we can go to Below Deck, y'all.

We're in Tahiti. We might as well do it. Yeah. Well, we're going to travel all the way across the world to the Mediterranean where the entire crew is still partying on the islands. Bobby is drunk Brian is drunk and he's scolding Danny because Danny spent last episode

fucking up again because he was watching some people from Oklahoma do a threesome and so Brian's like you work for me you don't get to look at threesomes without asking me first I'm your boss I'm your boss.

I'm first. Yeah, bro. You take a piss. You ask me, bro. Gross. You know what's actually kind of surprising was last week when Brian mentioned that he's only one year older than Danny. And that's shocking. I thought there was like a 10-year difference.

Not only because of how they act, but because Brian looks like 20 years older. Doesn't he? He looks like Paul years older doesn't he he looks like paul newman next to he looks like paul newman salad dressing next to like a fresh squeezed lemon on lettuce especially when he puts on that tv lipstick he definitely looks older yeah he's gross i this show this episode is definitely the okay now let's all hate brian episode yeah it definitely was the people talking about hypocrites the people on this show hannah and brian both but especially brian wow yeah real real bad yeah because it's the usual mix of everyone gets drunk and then everyone's flirting and bobby and julia are flirting because

that's the next thing and then ben and hannah are talking and he apologizes for not having her back when she accused Danny of being unprofessional. He's like, I'm sorry, love. I should have had your back as you're my chiefs do. I'm sorry. And she's like,

you didn't have my back enough. You didn't. Oh, I need to speak to have my back. And you didn't even have my back. He's like, that's right, love.

Yeah. The way to say, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry. You have a giant. So please. I'll lay down on the floor. You said on top of me. She's like, so easy. She's like suddenly like, okay, I forgive him. Yeah. He loves me now.

So now Brian's wasted and he tells us, he's like, yo, he's like, I was an SAE, which is the biggest frat in the country. So I have a lot of experience hooking up with chicks. I'm like, what about being in SAE? And what about it being the biggest frat makes you actually have experience? If anything, it just makes me think you're a date rapist. Yeah, no kidding. If anything, it makes me think you get blowjobs from dudes and say it's not gay because you weren't getting it up the ass.

Yeah. And listen, I was in SIGGAP. And I think Matt, our dearest Matt, I think actually was Matt in SAE or was he in SIGGAP also? I think he was in SIGGAP too. You guys were in the same one. Yeah, we were both in SIGGAP. Now, I have nothing against SAEs, but I think when you announce that you're in a frat and then brag about how big it is and therefore that somehow correlates to you being able to hook up with girls more easily, it just sounds date rapey. Oh, yeah. Well well it gets worse but before we get to date rape um this girl hannah it's i really like

hannah i like her on the show like she's no kate but i like her and i like even her crazy parts i'm liking everything about her but guys when you're a waiter like me or you know like in a position where you don't make a lot of money, you don't look better wearing double Chanel earrings. You know, it's like the big CC. Either you look fake or you look like you're spending your money on the wrong damn thing. Okay? I'm either thinking this girl is in a ton of credit debit, I mean, credit debt, or she's just wearing fake earrings right now. And I couldn't stop staring at them.

Okay, back to David. Her Chanel earrings? Yeah, the CC. wearing fake earrings right now and i couldn't stop staring at them okay back to her chanel her chanel earrings yeah the cc i'm like i wonder if she thinks that that just means copy someone on an email because i know this bitch ain't wearing a diamond i like to remind everyone of email protocol at all times so we they're still drunk they go back to the boat and ryan's like i don't know what i say about syphony yeah hey definitely want to back to the boat and Ryan's like, I don't know what I say about Tiffany. Yeah. Hey, Tiffany,

you want to take a hot tab? And she's like, dude, that girl's so stupid. So she gets into the hot tab. She looks hot. I mean, you know, I guess that's hot.

I guess someone's trying to have sex with her. So I'm guessing that's what you guys consider hot. So you go. And then he does is probably very well rehearsed line. He's like, I'm not a frat boy. I'm not a frat boy. She's like, yeah, you are. Yeah.

She's like, yeah. And then meanwhile, he's saying this while he's then telling people like, tonight I might bang Tiffany. Oh, yeah. He goes, I'm not a frat boy. I'm going to go get another beer. So he goes down into the kitchen opens a beer cap with another beer he's like pop and then he tells the camera guys there's no one there he just tells the camera guys i'm not paying her tonight yeah so not frat boy then he falls in

there holding his beer and she's like that's why we don't have beers in the hot tub that's why we don't have glass in the hot tub and i'm why we don't have glass in the hot tub. And I'm like, wow, Brian, congratulations. You have the dumbest person to walk the earth telling you how irresponsible you're being. And you're acting like you're the biggest boss in town. This made me so happy. And didn't Danny get in trouble a few weeks ago for acting as if the yacht was his to use when there were no guests on it? Isn't that exactly what Brian's doing by getting in the hot tub, especially with the beer? Of course, and trying to fuck someone in it.

He told her. This is a quote from the show. He goes, tonight I'm fucking you. And she's like, uh, no. And he goes, alright, sit on my thumb. Yeah, he literally says it. In fact, he says, I still haven't made out with you yet, but I'm thinking about fucking you. Oh,

God. I'm not a frat boy and then she says no and so he gets typical fratty it's like been the week of frat rape because that story came out we talked about it and talked about it with angie so i don't know if it's just in the air or what but that's where we are so he gets all mad at her and then he gets really frat rapey and he goes oh if you want to act like some little hood right right now some little hood rat right now it's up to you you crazy dragon drunk drunk bitch yeah and it first of all i didn't i didn't understand what was making it hood rat and it it almost it felt to me a little bit like a racially charged comment which was like where what's where is this

coming from what is this about and like it was dark that was it was like where what's where is this coming from what is this about and like it was dark that was it was like dark and it was it was nasty i was like all right yeah great job uncomfortable that was so rapey and it made me wonder like how many girls in college filed claims because that was creepy and that cannot be his first time acting like that that was gross yeah and then when he gets up and he leaves the hot tub or she leaves or he's leaving and he goes we'll discuss later how i want to handle you like he's gonna yell at her tomorrow for not fucking him what a piece of shit and how did nobody get this to the captain i mean that captain is barely awake half the time yeah but how does he not know and a whole crew of people yeah i thought like i actually was like nervous for her because she had that look like

she's like i'm just gonna smile and hopefully this will end well because i feel like probably a lot of women have been in a situation where they turn on a guy he's drunk and he gets aggressive and you know it goes in a terrible terrible direction you know and and she sort of had that look like uh and and the best part was she was like well well, I was going to hook up with him, but then he was an asshole. So, no. Yeah. Sorry. Allergic to douche.

And then you've got the other douchebag, that tall, cartoonish-looking, at least 40-piece-a-day guy acting like he's some 20-year-old trying to get in Julia's pants. And Julia's getting visibly uncomfortable with him. And then he's just talking about it to everyone who will listen and following her around and she tells her boyfriend on the phone which was so stupid by the way who does that he's just talking to her boyfriend he's like how are you she's like well i'm good but you know there's a guy here he's trying to get in my pants and then he gets mad she's like well he didn't like it apparently that some guy's creeping on me what would you tell him so now you can have an excuse when you do cheat because i cannot believe that you'd be desperate enough to cheat

with cheat with this fool uh i kind of believe i i think that she is flirting with him and that she doesn't want to admit it um so i think you know she's saying he's so funny no it's just harmless no i'm not interested i'm not Meanwhile, she sticks her thumb up his ass. She actually does what Brian wants Tiffany to do. She actually gets the thumb in there. And they're like, you goosed me. Julia's goosing people. I don't even know what goosing is.

Is this it? Can I stick my thumb back up your ass? I don't even know. I thought it was interesting how she described after the phone call with her boyfriend when she was like, well, it turns out that boys don't like to hear that another guy's creeping on you. And I was like, oh, so now he's creeping on you because they were just showing you like laughing and giggling. This whole show is making me uncomfortable tonight. Right. And, you know, the other thing is one thing just going back to Brian and Tiffany.

One thing that we have to mention is that it was shades of Danny and Rocky because the next day, Brian is like telling the guys, he's like, yeah, like Tiff really wanted hook up in the hot tub. And I'm like, whatever, Tiff. It's like, no, she did not want to. And you're now going around making yourself like a crazy slut. Yeah. It's like, yeah, I don't really remember what happened in the hot tub. But yeah, she wanted me. Yeah, buddy. Okay.

It must have been your highlights. Yeah, stupid Brian. And then he goes back to micromanaging Danny. Danny's like, hey, can I go squeegee the window? And he's like, you have to ask me first if you're going to squeegee. He's like, that's what I just did. And Danny's like, I just want to be positive. I just try to be positive all the time.

I'm like, shut up, Danny. I hate you, too. I love when Danny tells him, I feel like my hard work is underappreciated. The week after he almost gets fired for the second time for trying to bone hookers on the boat. I know. Exactly. The thing is, you can't really take any of these idiots seriously. On the other Below Deck, at least a couple of them are serious enough that when they fuck up, it's a huge deal.

Like when that little midget ended up fucking Rocky and thinking he was getting away with it that was hilarious because he's the rule guy it's not as funny with brian because he's just rapey i mean at least rocky was like yeah let's fuck on the washing machine sounds good yeah exactly yeah no this guy's like super rapey super super um and then uh so before the guests come on, Ben and Hannah go on like a little date. They go on this like weird little date in town. Like everything they get, by the way, is French fries. I don't know if that's something with grease, but like every shot we've seen of these people getting food, it's just like a pile of French fries. So they go on a date and the date was so exciting that there were quotes like,

So, are you a snail person, dear? Hannah just kept telling stories about her parents. She's like, one time we were driving and my mom, she was like, oh, yep, I'm driving slow. Oh, it was so funny. You know what I'm saying? He's like, well, you like to eat snails, girl. It was creepy.

But I felt bad for Hannah because that scene where he asked her out in the kitchen, her eyes lit up. Like, she was a little girl who just pulled on Santa's beard and it was real. And then she got the doll how she always wanted. And then a unicorn came in and shit out a rainbow. It's like everything she never believed could happen was happening. It's like everything she never believed could happen was happening. And I'm like, you got a date with some weirdo with – what's that chick with – Amborelle. Amborelle hair, yeah.

Dark Amborelle hair. What are you so excited about? But it was just like, Christmas. Yeah. I don't see the appeal of Ben. I don't know how he gets so much ass. I think it must be just his swagger because he just sort of looks like a weird vulture.

It's like people with an Animaniacs fetish. So the guests were hilariously douchey. They've been on the show. They were the ones who got the grenadine oysters. Yeah, those poor people. And after seeing them on this episode, I could not believe that they didn't fall for it the first

time and call it the most brilliant food they've ever seen what a pair of douchebags it was like yeah head douchebag and his son douchebag this guy was the worst when he came on the boat he was like hey ben good luck yeah good luck pleasing us and then proved to be phoenix such a ghetto ass who didn't know anything it's like one of those new money people who tries to pretend they're all fancy because they got some money in their wallet or whatever. This guy was just embarrassing. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, well, because remember last season, the whole thing is that we're food people.

We're food people. Well, he's such a, quote unquote, foodie that he then ordered an espresso martini. Not an espresso martini. An expresso martini. And he was an espresso martini, an expresso martini. And he was like, he really wants an expresso. And what made me sad was that then Hannah was like, all right, I'll get you an expresso martini. I was like, no, Hannah, I want to be snobby about how he doesn't know espresso. And he's saying expresso, but you said expresso too.

No, I have to be snobby to you. No, that's a pleasing the customer thing. If they pronounce something wrong, you don't correct them. You just repeat their bad pronunciation. No, I think she said it in the interview. She said espresso instead of espresso. Oh, damn it. Either way, he's the worst because he says he's a food person.

You know, she's a maid. I have millions of espresso martinis. How many have you made? He makes her one and she makes him one. And he's like, this is the worst espresso martini ever. Tell her I'll be right down to show her how it's done. And he goes down into the kitchen and he's like, hey, how many espresso martinis have you made? And she's like, a million, about a million.

He's like, I don't believe that. And so she makes him another one. And he's like, delicious. Glad I could teach you, honey. that. And so she makes him another one and he's like, delicious. Glad I could teach you, honey. Like, what the fuck? You pose or get back up to your fat son with a tan line under his stupid

beard, under his stupid beard line. He has like a spray tan line under it. And also his son is so handsome, but he has these stupid sunglasses on. And I love that he like feels fat because he wears silk shirts and he's trying not to show his muffin top. So he gets immediately insecure whenever he has to move. And was like i love a douche who's really just insecure about

his muffin top at the end of the day so i know he was cute but but either way i think hannah was lying though i don't think that she's made hundreds of espresso martinis and i think that's mainly because i don't think anyone's ordered an espresso martini in about 20 years also when people order an espresso martini a lot of times they're ordering the espresso liqueur. They're not ordering actual espresso martini. So this guy was like, why doesn't this taste like the stuff from the same people who make Fireball? Yeah, exactly. It's like ordering the biggest girl drink in the house, but they didn't have it.

It's like a peach schnapps martini. She wanted to murder him. The look that she was giving was like die die die that was definitely her Emily from revenge look love yes she was a furious meanwhile talk about the Sun the Sun has this stupid girlfriend who's like we celebrate our anniversary every month and like the first time we met was like on February 12th and then I had to leave on February 13th so we didn't really get to have a Valentine's Day together so I kind of want to have a Valentine's Day party for him

you know to celebrate the Valentine's Day we never had it should be really important to me I love how she talks like with her jaw not moving she has a stripper talk but her jaw doesn't move we met in Bahamas like we've had an anniversary every single

month since we met. It's been like seven months since we met. She was so awful she literally caused a boat to sink in the harbor. Also she said It's so romantic how we met. I was

coming off of a charter and he was getting onto one. I'm like, typical. The fat guy with the tan line on his beard got a yacht girl. Shocker. I'm totally shocked you're a whore. Completely shocked. Exactly.

So, yeah, so the big, like, drama was that there was, like, a little yacht or a little boat of some sort that for some reason was sinking and so it was like mayday mayday mayday and they like pulled up alongside and then danny like scampered over and got a bucket and they were bailing out the water and then they called the coast guard and the coast guard came and towed the boat over to a beach and then sort of like was half submerged and it was like ta-da that's it this was my favorite drama not because of the boat sinking but on this show it's usually like oh how are we gonna park but today it was all the different countries governments on the walkie-talkie they're like a little boat is sinking we need we need everybody on deck in the sea and they're like oh here we are in the flow sea a boat is sinking

stupid below deck i was like how many countries are calling in right now on the walkie talkie and the stupid captain's just like uh why i'm just i'm just impressed that danny didn't fall in love with any coast guard members they were all male wow he would have he's like is there one pair of boobs on here just one just asking Just asking for one. Nope. Okay, guys. He was ready to recreate the opening of Little Mermaid. He was going to be like, oh, shipwreck. Oh, no. Is there a mermaid that can save me?

Oh, damn. So that was pretty fun, especially watching the fake rich people laughing at all as it was going down. They were just standing there laughing. They were laughing. They're like, isn't this hilarious? Look at those people losing their boats. I know. Sorry, I brought my phone. I will put it on vibrate.

The other thing is when the people went to the beach, when they were partying on the beach, Bobby and Brian were cliff diving with them. And that's when Jen, the lesbian, was getting angry. She and Danny, because they were like...

I did think that was like, I didn't think it was crossing, personally, I didn't think it was crossing the line, but I think when you've drawn such a line in the sand about what's appropriate, what's not appropriate, like, no fraternization, no fraternization, I'm like, well, you're the ones who are jumping off a cliff with them right now. Yeah, exactly.

And didn't, Brian went in too, right? Oh, yeah, that's what you're saying. Yeah, brian bobby and brian um yeah they're stupid this show it's a little bit more obvious on this show that they have no idea what they're doing like some of them they're actual charter people and have worked forever but these guys i don't think have i think that they did like an audition they're like okay we're going to show you how to tie a boat down one time that's why it's so worrisome it's just like actors trying to park the boat they're like we could die and they really could if you think of it from that angle but han i mean yeah hannah hannah doesn't even know what she's doing okay she messed up which is no big deal but she didn't she thought

that the guy had changed his mind so many times about dinner that she thought they said two courses but it was three courses well no he did he no he said ben said ben said he was going to make two courses and it was going to be kebabs and also um shrimp right and then but he was also into a canapé or something like that and then she said well how about and how about like instead of how about like something light because it's romantic how about like a salmon thing so he's going to do a salmon canapé and I think that there was just some miscommunication of like you know the menu changed a lot

but also I think that there was some ambiguity over like are the canapés a course or are they like cocktail hour or whatever so I think Ben thought the canapés were a course and the shrimp was the main was going to be the main and I think that Hannah thought the canapés were a course and the shrimp was the main was it going to be the main and I think that Hannah thought the canapes were not

included in the courses and so either way she served the entree and served it as an appetizer and hell broke out I love that these people they act like they've been to every fine dining restaurant

in the world they've got eight fucking gigantic prawns as big as their heads on a plate for each of them. And they're like, this is an appetizer. Really? Okay, so it was a miscommunication. But instead of just saying, I made a mistake. We miscommunicated. I got it wrong. Sorry, Bean.

She decides to try and, like, get away with it. So she lies to him and is's like well no you don't have to make the kebabs i think they might be okay and then she leaves and she's like she's like what do i do like she doesn't know how to talk to him and she doesn't know what to do to the guests like even as a waiter you know you just you know how to deal with it but she didn't even know what to do like she's asking tiffany what to. That's sad. Yeah, that's... Thank God she didn't even ask Danny, because then it would have been a total... Danny would be like, hey, I'll go out there,

maybe I'll eat at one of the women, and make her feel really at home, and then everything will be great. I spent all night writing a letter for him. I'll just read it out loud while you do those kebabs. When shrimp are served as appetizers, they go to the light. And when they go to the light, they don't have fright.

Because appetizers are like beans, except they're smaller. I love you. When she went down there and had to be honest, which kind of wasn't honest. Because I think, what did she end up saying? Was she like, well, I think they would like the kebabs after all. Yeah. So he's looking at her. And Ben isn't faking it like a lot

of the on the show is obviously staged but you know ben's not faking it because his face is trying to stay calm but it's turning really red and his veins are popping out of his temple which by the way is hilarious because the kebabs were ready they're just sitting there all he has to do is put them on the grill and in fact when he first offered he was pretty calm about he's like oh you want me to throw them on the grill i just like no no no no yeah now he's mad it's like the one guy who's asked her out this year so she's got to be really nice it's like oh god your whole relationship's gonna be over over a kebab well i think it's less about the kebab and more about the fact that she said entree instead of main she's, you're not using the proper terminology. Can we please

stop saying on tray? I never use that word. She's like, well, welcome to Europe because you're in Europe now. I'm like,

fuck you. It ain't cliche at all. It's like, fuck a you up. All right, man. Well, sorry. Oh, no,

I don't really have anything. I was going to say, like, I mean, she was being ridiculous. I almost, through the history of the show, whenever there's been a dust-up between the stew and the chef, I always am on the stew's side because Ben is usually ridiculous sometimes and Leon, of course, with Leon.

But in this case, I mean, could you imagine you sit down for dinner, you're served an appetizer of giant shrimp, and then basically the waitress comes up and says all right do you want to have dessert now are you still hungry i'd be like what are you talking about yeah you're crazy but this is like this weird theme with this show this episode which is men and women's fucked up relationships like one's a rapey asshole frat boy one is just delusional and trying to a fucking dork trying to get the hottest girl just so he can say he can. And then the other one is like this maniac who just screams and yells. And the girl is so happy to be on a date that she can't even be honest about a damn food course.

Yeah. It's not a good week for women on this show. That's for or men. Or men. And next week, Ben becomes the biggest bitch because he immediately runs up and tattles to the chef. I mean, to the captain. Yeah, I'm surprised. Like a little bitch.

Oh, my God. What a wuss. What a wuss. Well, this was a nice three-hour podcast. Wow. Happy 300, honey. An hour for every 100 episodes we've done yeah exactly

everybody thank you so much for being with us this was an excellent first 300 we love you guys and so appreciate you listening to this and talking back to us over at facebook.com slash watch what crap ends or subscribing for the bonus episodes etc

on patreon.com slash watch what crap ends or going to watch what crap ends.com Watch what crappens or subscribing for the bonus episodes, et cetera, on, um, patrion.com slash watch what crappens or going to watch what crappens.com. And just finding our links over there. We are going to get ready and go party. Our faces off. Hope to see you tonight. And if not, we will see you Tuesday.

All right. Bye everyone. Join over the 30 million people who are already dreaming big with Weebly. Get started today for free at weebly.com slash watch. That's W-E-E-B-L-Y dot com slash watch. weebly.com slash watch. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Happens ad-free on Amazon Music.

Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free withppin's ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondery.com slash survey. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real.

I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top ten, curated by the headmaster himself.

But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.