Watch What Crappens - #328: C'est Fini!

Episode Date: September 16, 2016

It takes a village to make a TV show, and it takes a village idiot to make a reunion. Come listen to us take apart the third and final installment of the "Real Housewives of New York" reunio...n. We talk about Sonja, LuAnn, Tom, Ramona -- everything. Plus, we're buttering our toast for "Below Deck," and we're tumbling dry our emotions for an explosive Dubai episode of "Real Housewives of Melbourne." 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:19 - Crappens Mailbag 00:19:30 - Real Housewives of New York reunion pt. 3 01:11:00 - Below Deck 01:24:39 - Clear the Flem 01:28:17 - Real Housewives of Melbourne Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens? What happens? What happens?
Starting point is 00:00:48 Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens? Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me is the wonderful, the hilarious, the forever listening to and enjoying La Bamba, Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com and Rose Pricks podcast and Big Brother Smother podcast. Hey, Ronnie, what's going on? And the world at large.
Starting point is 00:01:24 The world in general. The world at large. Oh, in general. The world at large. Oh, hello, Benjamins. How are you? I'm doing... I'm very sad, though, because last night was the last Rahania. Yeah. For a long time, and I'm very sad.
Starting point is 00:01:39 I know, but what a great season it had. In case you guys didn't pick that up, that's Real Housewives of New York, which is what Ronnie is referring to. Great season. I am drinking my large Tiago iced coffee this morning. And as we all know, Tiago is a special cold brew, which is made purely of jet fuel. So I am already bonkers. I was singing La Bamba before the show, which is why I referenced it. And I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:07 I feel like I really had to share that with everyone. La Bamba. La Bamba. Me necesito. I don't even know the lyrics. So let's talk. One of my friends growing up told me, you know that song's about child murder, right? Is it?
Starting point is 00:02:21 Because I didn't know that. No. Oh. They were just being an asshole. I grew up in a Spanish-speaking town town but i didn't learn all the spanish and so i had to actually learn the spanish for that song because i was like nah and i learned i was like it's not about child murder how rude yeah i um i think it's just about like a party or something um all i know is that i saw the movie la bomba in what, 1986, whatever,
Starting point is 00:02:45 when I was a young child and it like made me cry for hours, hours. I tell you. Yeah. That was pretty sad. And Lee Diamond Phillips guys. RIP. Is he dead?
Starting point is 00:02:57 No, he's alive. I was going to say, geez, why are there so many lies surrounding La Bamba? And when the aliens came and destroyed Buddy Holly in the plane I mean, what a way to go So, everyone, welcome to the podcast
Starting point is 00:03:15 If you're new, we are so glad that you're here listening We aren't this demented always at the top of the podcast First of all, we want to thank our super duper super premium Patreon supporter, subscriber, Madonna Hines, Madge. We love her.
Starting point is 00:03:35 She is wonderful. And of course, it wouldn't be a week of Watch What Happens if we didn't give a major shout out to our premium supporter, Christy Dougherty,
Starting point is 00:03:44 our longtime sugar mama. That's a kiss and a Zerber. It's the remix of La Bamba. Anyway, everyone, go to WatcherCrappins.com to find all our social media links, like Instagram, Snapchat, whatevs. Go to Facebook.com forward slash WatcherCrapins.com to find all our social media links like Instagram, Snapchat, whatevs. Go to Facebook.com forward slash WatcherCrapins to join in on the conversation. Lots of funny stuff happening there.
Starting point is 00:04:11 Photos, GIFs, gossip, everything's happening on that page. It's amazing. Go to Patreon.com forward slash WatcherCrapins. If you want to be like Christy Dougherty and Madonna Hines, that's a way for you to become a supporter of this podcast and you get access to all sorts of amazing cool things um chiefly a weekly bonus episode which is like another like 45 minutes to an hour of content every week i don't what did we talk about this week in the bonus episode ronnie you talked about basically i yammered on for 40 minutes straight about patty lapone while you ate a beef jerky let's be honest and let me tell you something everyone it's wildly fulfilling we talked about I yammered on for 40 minutes straight about Patti LuPone while you ate a beef jerky.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Let's be honest. And let me tell you something, everyone. It's wildly fulfilling. We talked about Claim Jumper, too. It's more fun than it sounds, okay? It really is. We have, if you listen to TuneIn or you're thinking about signing up, we have actually another show on TuneIn, on TuneIn Premium called the Watch for Crappin's Gossip Show and we talk about Bravo Gossip on there
Starting point is 00:05:10 and so go check that out. And we are performing next week at the LA Podvest. I know you're probably sick of hearing us talk about it, but we want to make sure we have people come. And we actually found out who some of the people are that are going to be there,
Starting point is 00:05:26 which is really cool, like some of the celebrities. So this may entice you, okay? So Bill Hader from SNL, formerly of SNL, he's going to be there. Bill Hader, I mean, enough said. Will Wheaton, if you are a big, like, nerd fan, Will Wheaton is, like, the king of the nerds. David Harbour from Stranger Things is going to be there. Adam Pally from Happy Endings, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, he's going to be
Starting point is 00:05:51 there. Mike Scully, who's a writer for The Simpsons. Aisha Tyler, who, you know, I love Aisha Tyler. Kevin Pollack, who famously, famous comedian, podcaster, he was in usual suspects and tj miller from silicon valley and also a who had an episode on happy endings so i mean and then there's us so did i name drop and then there's rondell caron rondell caron um they're all going to be appearing at some point over the course of that weekend so uh guys come guys this tiago coffee is really killing me i think i'm i think i've said everything right um you've said everything being i've said everything that needs to be said so should we just move on to the crappin's mailbag has to be better than what i got in my real mail i got this thing from crunch.com and it's like a little pamphlet on it's like you're fat hey it's like ronnie still fat and
Starting point is 00:07:02 then you look on page two and it's like god you're even fatter than you were at the previous page. And I'm just keeping it on my desk. I don't know why. Just threw it away. You know, sometimes we just need to be shamed. It doesn't work with fat people. Shame makes us hungry. Oh, well, it's weird.
Starting point is 00:07:22 It's like you have to get. Yeah, it depends on how the shame hits you. It has to hit you in the right way. No. It hits you in the right way, it motivates you. But if it hits you in the wrong way, you just eat more. Nothing tastes better than a big plate of feelings, Ben. That's actually very true.
Starting point is 00:07:37 I really support that. Okay, so, Krappen's mailbag. Oliver Haskins. He says, first, um, Krappen's mailbag. Oliver Haskins. He says, first, thanks for the advice. Okay, whatever advice we gave you, you're welcome. He said, I got the Radzuil plant mister, and it looks great. Great. Second, Luanne's phone call to Tom in Bethany's room was so odd
Starting point is 00:08:01 because she had to repeat everything he said for TV. Assuming this is the way that they speak on the phone regularly how do you think the conversation went when luan found out that tom was not of the dagasino dynasty and thus she would not get to do her morris the cat impression over the supermarket pa system could you imagine me not getting to speak on a PA system all right so how do we do that so wait what's the question I'm just thinking of Morris the cat in the PA system oh Tom another Tuesday Tom dinner it's Luann talking to Tom over the phone
Starting point is 00:08:44 and having to She's basically having a one-sided conversation Because she has to repeat everything Tom says Then she has to react to everything that Tom says Okay, over the PA system? Well, no, I'm sorry, over the phone Finding out that he's not a real D'Agostino Okay, so I'm just supposed to have a conversation with you
Starting point is 00:09:01 Where I'm breaking the news to you That I'm not a real D'Agostino No, it's basically like we're both i think we both imagine what luann would sound like talking to tom on the phone um about i'm i'm like literally so stupid today i'm so sorry and i am like so wired i can't comprehend things okay i think this is the way it would go all right tom tom what are you saying to me you're saying you're not a real dagasino of the grocery empire he's not a real dagasino the grocery empire are you saying i can't go into any dagasinos anymore and announce what the specials are for today is that what you're saying yes that's what that's what you're saying are you saying that i just can't sing Chic C'est La Vie at 5 p.m. at the produce aisle?
Starting point is 00:09:48 Is that what you're saying? Yes, that's what you're saying. Tom, are you saying you don't have an apostrophe between the D and the A in the D'Agostino? Is that what you're saying? Okay, he's not saying that, girls. Tom does have an apostrophe between the D and the A in the D'Agostino. So, Tom, how many people – are you saying that there are other D'Agostinos with apostrophes between the D and the A in the Dagestan. So Tom, how many people are you saying that there are other Dagestinos with apostrophes between the D
Starting point is 00:10:08 and the... Girls, he's saying that there are other people with the apostrophe between the D and the A in the Dagestan. Tom, are you saying... I think I'm going to be sick. Are you saying... Question mark. Are you saying that every time I sing Please Mr. Dagestino, I've been
Starting point is 00:10:24 singing to another man all this time. Is that what you're saying? That's what you're saying? Are you saying that we're now on a level playing field because I've basically been cheating? Is that what you're saying? Okay, fine, I made a mistake, but I accept it. Tom, are you saying sitting on the dock of the D'Agostino
Starting point is 00:10:36 when I was singing in that in the Rockin' Sushi that I was singing to a different D'Agostino? Girls, I was singing to the wrong D'Agostino in the Rockin' Sushi Roll Bowl. All right. So Benjamin Cohen asks, hey, fellas, every time I see Jim Edmonds and Lil Miss 30-year-old on TV, I wonder why in the blue fuck Jim proposed. They have zero chemistry. Megan keeps on saying that Jim is a romantic.
Starting point is 00:11:01 What do you think the proposal was like? on saying that jim is a romantic what do you think the proposal was like well i think that he probably proposed because she was working as a prescription salesperson and from what we've seen from jim eyes he likes his oxy yeah so there's the why um and with uh imagine the proposal okay who do you want to be jim or megan um uh i'll be megan who would you want to be who would you want to be in real life or for pretend in both okay i'll be megan okay i'll be jim uh hey hey wow you're such a romantic saying hi to me him hi hey hey wow you're such a romantic saying hi to me fuck off jimmy you're so funny you're so sarcastic that's what i love about you jesus christ lady just leave me alone trying to play my golf like what do i gotta do fucking marry you you know like that's just the way marriage is like
Starting point is 00:11:59 sometimes your husbands want to play golf but like i'm here like trying to like fold napkins and like he doesn't understand that about me you're an idiot hey did you polish my golf clubs if you i swear i commit to you if you didn't do that you commit to me oh my god i do i do they probably never even got married he just asked his golf clubs he's's like, I swear to God. Okay, I do. Yeah, I swear to God, too. We're married. He was like, hey, waitress, could you marry these two catch-ups together? Sure, I do.
Starting point is 00:12:37 He's like, look, I can only commit to being home for one day out of the week. I'm in. We're married on Sundays. Okay, one last question. Michael Horn, I really like this question. Michael Horn says, if Alexis Bellino
Starting point is 00:12:50 had to do an on-the-scene Fox 5 news report about the dune buggy accident, how would it go? I just, that's just the idea. I think any time anyone taps into
Starting point is 00:13:02 Alexis Bellino, reporter at large, it makes me laugh. Hi, I'm Alexis Bellino, reporter at large, it makes me laugh. Hi, I'm Alexis Bellino. Welcome to the news. Wait, there's not an N, there's not an S. That's not a plural, new.
Starting point is 00:13:16 Hi, this is Alexis Bellino reporting for Fox 5 News, and we're here at Glamis Dunes where there's a report of a trampoline being stolen and used to tip over a dune buggy. I'm here on the site, and there is, in fact over a dune buggy. I'm here on the site, and there is, in fact, a dune buggy that has turned over. I see Tamara Judge. She's lying on...
Starting point is 00:13:30 Oh, she looks like she's... Oh, God, looks like she's been impaled. Oh, no, no, no. No, I was just looking at a cactus. Okay, all right. Thank God. All right, it looks like the scene is under control. Back to you.
Starting point is 00:13:41 I hope they're okay. Stop crying. It's a dune buggy. I never understood the movie Dune. I hope they're okay stop crying it's a dune buggy I never understood the movie dune everyone's so dirty why would anyone get a car named after that movie gross I'm Alexis Bellino
Starting point is 00:13:56 thanks for watching I'm Alexis Bellino reporting live from the Glamis Dunes buggy accident and so far here's what we know Vicky Gunvalson has been flown away by a giant bird we don't know where Tamara is right now dunes buggy accident and so far here's what we know vicky gunvalson has been flown away from by a giant bird we don't know where tamra is right now and right now the buggy is on its roof we have no idea where the horses are all we know is that there is a there is a buggy without its horses uh we will keep you updated if anyone sees any wild horses running around the dunes
Starting point is 00:14:19 please alert us as soon as possible thank you so so much. There is a reason that Jesus Christ invented pavement. Because without it, your buggy is just going to go all over the place and crash. Poor Tamara. We're getting early reports that one of the reasons why there was an accident is that this dune buggy never had a roof in the first place. And now we're going to be talking to the next dune buggy manufacturer we can find to find out why this has been approved. Why is this allowed? I'm on the case. Alexis Bellino for Fox 5 and Action News.
Starting point is 00:14:52 Hey, Tamara Barney is still alive. I guess this is the second time this year she's lied about being saved. This just in. Heather Dubrow has an ache in her lower back. We'll get you all the details as soon as possible but for right now we know that she is in critical condition and jesus is being called upon to save her at this moment unfortunately for tamra the desert doesn't bounce unlike mine
Starting point is 00:15:19 and jim's bouncy castle house what's her place called What's her trampoline park? Oh, our trampoline park. The Bellino Trampoline Park. I think they've been recently featured on Groupon. Oh my god, that's a huge publication. It's almost as big as Lydia's magazine, Newport Living. Huge circulation, you guys. it's almost as big as Lydia's magazine, Newport living. Newport circulation. You guys. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:49 All right. Let's close up this mailbag. That was one of our more, one of our more bizarre mailbags. I'd have to say, I think I was like, really, I'm already so caffeinated it was very difficult
Starting point is 00:16:06 for me to really focus i think i was just talking you know what's not bizarre ben these days it may it may have been bizarre back in the old day but now something that's completely normal everyday product is called boy brow ban do you know what that is um i believe i've heard about it isn't it like um something cool for your brows it's like it's like brow pomade it's a brow pomade okay you know how i'm lebanese and as i age i get like brow hair going all over the place do not pluck your stray brows you guys keep them down you need a brow pomade, okay? Yeah, it's a game changer. Yeah, it's the best eyebrow product I've ever tried. Like, literally, besides
Starting point is 00:16:49 tweezers. Well, you know, there's this new company called Glossier. I don't know actually. Glossier! Glossier! I don't know how new they are. But they have this boy brow pomade and it really is being called the best eyebrow product that people have ever
Starting point is 00:17:06 tried and you know why yes because it's no more complicated eyebrow kits or four-step brow routines this is the only brow you'll ever need for thicker fuller more naturally groomed looking brows yes and unlike eyebrow gels or mascaras boy brows formula. It gives you a soft, flexible hold, and it will never feel crunchy or stiff. It's a makeup product you'll use every day. A quick, easy way to frame your face and look more polished when you don't like wearing anything else. You don't need to know how to do your brows to use Boy Brow because it's super easy. Just brush your brows into shape using the tiny mascara-like brush. Yeah, it comes in three subtle shades that work on everyone, blonde, brown, and black.
Starting point is 00:17:47 It's only $16, and I actually do use this. Really? They sent it to me, and I was like, oh, well, this is ridiculous. I'm never going to do this. And I did it, and I was like, this literally makes my eyebrows look good. Brown master. this like literally makes my eyebrows look good which look on with internet products you never know okay something we've been pretty lucky we've had a lot of good products on the show but i listen to a lot of podcasts i'm like really
Starting point is 00:18:16 but this is one of the ones that normally i would say really and uh i'm kind of a boy brow addict and also i like saying like you guys can you tell I'm wearing boy brow? And people are like, no, but what? And then I get to explain the whole thing. Boy brow, I mean like, what are you talking about? Like I brow beat you to do anything? I don't brow beat you to do anything. Like I just say like, come do something.
Starting point is 00:18:38 Like I don't have to brow beat you. I don't have to boy brow beat you, okay? Boy brow beating. Stop boy browding me. Boy brow beating. brow beating actually we are gonna brow beat you to use boy brow because um uh if you go to glossier.com that's g-l-o-s-s-i-e-r.com um and then use the promo code which i believe is crappins um uh then um you get 20 off your first purchase okay okay hey don't let your brows beat you beat your brows okay with void brow get 20 off your first purchase visit glossier www.glossier.com and use the promo code CRAPPINS to upgrade your beauty routine.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And don't forget that's G-L-O-S-S-I-E-R Glossier.com It's French. It's like that French phrase C'est fini. What's that? You know, like you always say.
Starting point is 00:19:41 What's that mean? C'est fini. What's that mean? Glossier.com C'est fini. Yeah, so it's awesome. What's that mean? Say Finney. What's that mean, Glossier.com? Say Finney. Yeah, so it's awesome. Make your brows look like Ronnie's. So we've already started to mention The Real Housewives of New York City.
Starting point is 00:19:56 And why not get into it? Part three of this epic reunion of an epic season of my favorite Real housewives franchise of all of them shall we this has to be one of the consistently best seasons of any housewife show i mean i don't think there was a boring episode in this entire season of real housewives literally not a single boring episode this season is up there with i mean i mean how can i say it's up there this is i mean real houses new york city has had so many legendary seasons season one was great in its own way season two with the bethany and kelly ben simone thing was epic season three the jill zarin bethany fallout oh was that season four i don't know everything amazing about this show and this one oh wow this season amazing yeah there have been
Starting point is 00:20:45 some really good seasons but i don't think there's been a season that's been this consistently hilarious every single episode yeah and not even i mean they they could just be sitting around getting pedicures but they're just hilarious like they pick the right ones to follow yeah i think it was i think there was actually only one average episode there was one episode where it was just a lot about vaginas and that was the episode we had brian moylan come on and we were like sort of bummed because like brian moylan is so funny and so smart and we had him on for like the weakest episode of the season but even that episode was still hilarious yeah it was good times um so we opened this reunion talking about poor Sonia.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Poor, poor Sonia. Whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do, Sonia? Andy, we didn't get to see Sonia's vaginal rejuvenation thing, which was my favorite. I think my favorite Sonia moment of the whole season. Yeah, I thought where she went to get a what she get like a vagina lift.
Starting point is 00:21:52 I think so. I like exfoliation or something. It's hard for me to honestly keep track of who got what vagina treatment this season. And she had that big fat doctor who was like it's like the third time i've done it he's like i'm pretty sure he moonlights as the uh associate manager of melissa gorga's boutique or maz the guy at the gym or if John ever got his own movie about dry cleaning or whatever, he would be the stand-in. He's basically the Real Housewives of any franchise swing player. Yeah, he's like the swing, mouth-breathing fat guy.
Starting point is 00:22:41 So, yeah, so they're talking about, it was the whole sonia segment of like oh she drinks too much now she's going dry and now she's better than the tipsy girl thing yada yada yada oh god and andy actually said so and sonia taught us that sometimes being dry isn't such a turnoff oh god sometimes i wonder if he knows what he's saying so he's like he basically was like um uh so he's like yeah he's trying to like support sonia after he's like he's like sonny wow you were really seemed like you were so much clearer you'd never look better he's trying to give like positive encouragement and then i love sony's response he's like well i mean you know you know luanne could tell you this and everything i always quit
Starting point is 00:23:21 booze around the round the holidays that's why i always quit booze around the holidays. That's why I always quit booze. I'm like, what? I usually start drinking again in March when I get back from cooking. Or ready to, you know, get to San Tropez. I'll start having another little drink again. She's trying to pretend she's so fancy. And then they just
Starting point is 00:23:40 keep cutting to Bethany's horrified face. Jesus. I don't understand. You don't drink at the holidays? What are you drinking? You think that eggnog has nothing in it? It's got your tipsy girl brand in it. It's like tipsy girl eggnog.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Honestly, it's too much. Too much. Luann. Well, I would just, I for one would like to say congratulations to Sonia. I mean, here you are. You've been a drunk, a drug addict. You've been divorced by some old person and left to rot in a hurricane katrina house you've been dragged through the streets face down you've been dumped
Starting point is 00:24:13 by teenagers you can't afford your own pencils god forbid you can't even get pickles out of you know italian jail just listening all this horrible shit that Sonya's gone through. And the Luan Award for Greatest Luan Performance by a Non-Luan goes to Sonya Morgan. And the Luan Award for You Should Have Committed Suicide
Starting point is 00:24:37 Five Seasons Ago, yet here you are, flopping around on the deck like a fish out of water, yet still able to find a drink somewhere. Sonia Morgan! Congratulations, Sonia. And then, so then Andy's asking
Starting point is 00:24:53 Sonia about the whole situation with Bethany. And Bethany was like yelling at her. And Sonia's like, well, you know, I wasn't mad, you know, because she was feeling pain. And I understood that. That's the way she expresses her pain. That's just her pain. And then this, of course, that made Dorinda mad.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Dorinda's like, oh, well, but then I don't invite you for one night. One night I don't invite you. And it's like, oh, I'm the worst person in the world. Dorinda's very good. She's getting very good at turning everything back around to her. Yeah. Like, this was the biggest fight of the season. Can they let it breathe, Dorinda? She's like, can they let let it breathe dorinda and i stand by that i stand by that that i was in pain too
Starting point is 00:25:33 politician dorinda sorry i still want to see these guys it's leaving but it's still there it's still there um i love during this you, they kept showing all these montages and stuff. I'm like the poor Sonia montage when they went to the Mohegan sun or whatever. Yeah. That was just my favorite because they show Sonia and Ramona trying really hard to have fun in some like lobby bar. And they're playing with their,
Starting point is 00:26:02 they're playing with their glow stick lightsaber things. And Ramona goes, look at us we got moves next stop boutique yeah that was amazing it's like yay the glory like why would that ever inspire anyone to become sober like see when you get when you get sober you can like dance at an empty casino bar it made it made brianna's trip to las vegas with her friend four seasons ago look exciting we got moves okay we got legs and we know how to move them okay oh so yes somehow in sonia's mind she's made the whole bet Bethany ripping her apart on national TV and sob. And then the awkward walk into the elevator, which we also didn't get to see. Well, didn't expect that, girls.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Waiting for the elevator. And then what did she say in the elevator? She said something like, what, now I can't make dishes because Luin's got dishes? She said something like that. Now I can't make dishes. You know, I feel like people need to remember that that was the same episode where Ray burst onto the scene and screamed at John and Sonya. I mean, that was really, I think, that may have been the best episode. Well, no, Berkshire's was an instant classic. Okay, so the Ray episode was probably second best of the season because you have that amazing just teardown of sonia by bethany which was so nasty
Starting point is 00:27:26 and awful that was that it was actually like iconic and then you have ray i mean wow this season is just epic so so good so sonia's turned all of that into somehow liking bethany now because you know she's not being yelled at she had her pain yeah yeah and you know she sat in bed with bethany like bethany finally forgave her and she's like bethany did nothing wrong okay she was just being honest and then dorinda's like screaming and yelling because she got in trouble which dorinda can say whatever she wants i love dorinda and i'm so glad she's on this show but she was an asshole she was she's you know she's acting like well, you were mad at me for that one party. Yeah, but you did that to appease Bethany.
Starting point is 00:28:09 So it's like Sonya is trying to appease Bethany now by not starting another fight. And you were appeasing Bethany then by not inviting Sonya because Bethany would have made a huge deal out of it. So now you're trying to start a fight with Sonya because she's appeasing Bethany when all of this started because you were appeasing Bethany when all of this started because you were appeasing Bethany. Come on!
Starting point is 00:28:27 And honestly, they kept on using this logic of like, oh, it's one night. It was one night and it wasn't even a good night. It was only one. That's a separate point. It's not about the duration. It's about the fact that you invited every single person in the cast except Sonya
Starting point is 00:28:43 under the guise of this patronizing, like, I don't think it would be healthy for you thing. It was insulting. Dorinda, I love you. Like, I really think you're one of the best things that's ever happened to Bravo. But in this case, it was insulting. Even if you claim it wasn't from a bad place, you have to at least accept the fact that it was hurtful whether or not you intended it so then the good stuff and i stand by that i stand by it so then the really good stuff started coming out of this fight when sonia's like
Starting point is 00:29:16 here's what i want to know who told bethany in the first place that i had fake businesses and what about the other friends? And then you hear Carol go, no one had to tell us. We all have newspapers. And she's like, what about the other friends that signed that contract? I have photos with Ramona Singer signing that contract at lunch with Peter
Starting point is 00:29:40 and emails upon emails upon Ramona going to bring the tipsy girl to the beach so that she can start promoting it and then Bethany's like what what I didn't hear about that she's like oh you mean are you saying I could have yelled at Ramona all this time like I could have had a scene where I could have yelled at Ramona like
Starting point is 00:29:55 how could you deny that for me like literally like I'm gonna cry like honestly my wallet's going up right now the fact that you like left that out for me like that's honestly a betrayal like this is new to me like I was fine coming into this I was fine but now I hear this and like it's a new wound. Honestly, I'm going to cry. Kill me now. Kill me now.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Take me away and kill me now. Bethany lies enough to run for politics. She really does. She just lies. I wouldn't call it a straight face. It's a wonky face. But that's also her face when she tells the truth. She's a housewife.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Yeah. And I love her. By the way, we've been ragging on Bethany so much because she was really so deranged this entire reunion. But I love her now. I really, like, I love Bethany. I love everyone. I'm, like, on everyone's side on all these fights. Yeah. Yeah, Ramona, yeah, it came out Ramona was supposed to do Tipsy Grill first, which I think we had heard about beforehand.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah, we talked about it here on Watch What Crappens. Yes. And Ramona's like, listen, okay, Peter did approach me about it, okay? But then I looked at it, and I was going to do it. I was going to a divorce. I was very fragmented. I was so sad. I didn't know what to do.
Starting point is 00:30:54 I wasn't thinking straight. And then I was like, wait, hold on. This is too much like Bethany's brand, and I don't want to do that to her. So I said, okay, you better stop now, Peter. Take it to Sonia, because she's dumb enough to do it. Yeah. So signing all these contracts and then planning all these events where she's going to get this thing on camera and all this stuff going on. And then she goes.
Starting point is 00:31:15 And then one day I thought, wait a second. The name Skinny Girl, Tipsy Girl. It's like too close. Like it just hit me one day. No. It's like, close like it just hit me one day no it's like wait a second so i would love to know what really happened there did peter just you know like not bone her right one day because there's got to be some weird reason that she suddenly stopped all this and then she's like sonia you're broke why didn't you do it? Peter likes you. You could just do it.
Starting point is 00:31:46 It's called Tipsy Girl. It's like Bethany's thing, but different. She won't be mad. I like to think that it was not because Peter stopped boning her. I like to think that it was a revelation that came through in some sort of like Brian De Palma way. You know, like the scene in Carrie when the bucket of blood's about to fall over. It's like the slow, like 10- minute long thing of slow motion of seeing things and like ramona's in time square one day and she sees a pigeon the pigeon flies by a lamppost and the lamppost looks slender and she's like that lamppost is skinny and the lamppost starts to fall over and
Starting point is 00:32:19 it's gonna tip over oh my god skinny tipsy skinny tipsy skinny tipsy and for like 10 minutes she's like having this moment the music's like i would love that like a big ramona if we're gonna keep it brian de palma i'd like to think it's more like a snake eyes where you know you're you're there you've got your ticket and then you just realize suddenly this can't be a good idea. Okay. And then you just run out of the theater. You just leave your popcorn on the seat.
Starting point is 00:32:50 And Nicolas Cage shows up. And then, or maybe she just like shows up to Sonia with like the tipsy girl prototypes. And I was like, say hello to my little friend. Okay. I wish I'd seen more Brian De Palma movies so i could make more references but i've
Starting point is 00:33:07 really only seen carrie and i think yeah i'm actually completely out didn't he make by bonfire the vanities too wasn't that a brand of palma film uh he might have but i never saw that and i never i actually never saw scarface i never saw carlito's way i never saw Carlito's Way. I never saw Snake Eyes. And, I mean, at this point, I mean, what else is left? Wow, Ben. I think he had some others in the 80s. Maybe I never saw The Untouchables. I'm sorry, Mr. De Palma. Oh, my God, Ben.
Starting point is 00:33:34 He's like, well, I'm unsubscribing to this podcast. He's like, fuck this. He just, like, pulled over to the side of the road and was like, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete. He was about to press, like, the $ oh well never mind then forget my super sponsor yeah no but yeah i can but the funny thing is from the iconic scenes of brian de palma movies like the opening from the untouchable not the opening but like that famous staircase scene from the untouchables wherever like there's a shootout and a baby is going,
Starting point is 00:34:07 baby carriage is going down those steps. I can totally imagine that. I can imagine that happening in Ramona's life. Like, there was a shootout and then a baby came tumbling down a staircase. I mean, it was crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Okay? Okay. Like someone saved the baby, okay? I love when Andy goes, Andy sums it all up by going, yeah, Sonia, I mean, she's quit drinking and this and that. All of you must have had so much respect for Sonia that weekend at the Mohegan Sun. Which no one has said about anybody going to the mohegan sun ever weren't you guys filled with respect at that person at the mohegan sun so now so now like dorinda and sonia are getting mad and uh this is when dorinda is saying like
Starting point is 00:35:01 you know like i did that in love and that's when she goes, say Finney. As Luann would say, say Finney. And then Luann goes, yes, say Finney. And then Ramona goes, say Finney. What is that? What is that? What's say Finney? What is that?
Starting point is 00:35:13 Say Finney? Are you telling me I should say Finney? Okay, Finney. My cousin Finney? Like, I don't get it. I'm not going to say Finney. It's so boring. It's just like music playing.
Starting point is 00:35:23 Like, people in ball gowns. Like, what? No, it gets French, Ramona. Well, I'm sorry. I never learned French, okay? I learned Latin, and that's a dead language, okay? So I really only know one language. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:35:38 I'm sorry. People say that Latin's a dead language. Well, not if you've ever been on a subway, which I haven't. There's so many Latins on the subway, okay? The language may be dead, but Latin dancing is still alive and well, okay? How could Latin be dead when there's an entire country called Latin America, okay? Latin may be dead, but you can never kill the macarena okay we got moves if latin's so dead why do we keep saying etc okay
Starting point is 00:36:13 i'm sorry i'm sorry it's not dead i love that you're so intelligent that you make real housewives smarter i was a latin a Latin. You can't help it. You can't help it. I'm sorry. You just sent Ramona to college, basically. Winnie, Winnie, Witty, Weegee, okay?
Starting point is 00:36:40 I came, I saw, I conquered, and then I gave Tipsy Girl to Sonia, okay? Whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of a Latin class when I was younger, and I came, I saw, I conquered, and then I gave Tipsy Girl to Sonia, okay? Whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of a Latin class when I was younger. And I said, this is a great language. And then Geraldine Parsons-Smith came and said, well, guess what? It's dead, okay?
Starting point is 00:36:54 And to this day, I still have never been able to speak Latin with anyone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. All right, everyone. I apologize. I mean, this coffee is beyond beyond well now now they all take credit for sonia sobriety and dorinda's like me leaving out sonia from coming to the butchers that night that's why sonia is sober now okay we're the ones who started the trend ramona's like
Starting point is 00:37:20 yeah like without us she'd still be drunk she'd still be under it under a teenager some way downtown not knowing how to get home okay we're the best interventionist ever so i love this is around the time when sonia whenever sonia realizes she has a chance to be sad about something and like has a chance to like be in an argument and like make people feel bad for her she just goes for it and she's like now she's like oh how do you think it made me feel i wasn't invited i think it made me feel huh huh huh and she starts to cry and then that's when everyone's like it was one night sonia one night and actually sonia had such a funny funny line when they were saying you know it just wasn't a good environment for you it wasn't good she's like
Starting point is 00:38:02 oh well i was invited to a dry cleaner. I guess that was a better atmosphere for me. I love when she does that. Like, what does that make me? Soft-boiled? So I guess the dry cleaner party was healthy. Okay, Ben. And then Dorinda starts getting offended by that. It wasn't a dry cleaner. It's a business with 80
Starting point is 00:38:21 employees and a lot of Febreze. I think she was referring to the fact that there were drinks everywhere but no one really got it they were like we call dry cleaning is dangerous geez none of that's proven oh god you rather die early from fumes or walk around with the wrinkles right what i always sell john And by the way, Sonya was absolutely correct. Because whether she was referring to the fact that there was booze everywhere at that party and fighting there, or whether it was referring to the fact that it was like, oh great, I get invited to go to a dry cleaner party as opposed to Berkshire's, that's insulting. She's right on both counts. Yeah, she is.
Starting point is 00:39:02 And when she goes, and that doesn't even make sense she'll invite me to a dry cleaning party and bethany goes yeah it's because john knows how to clean up messes she's like get it get it everyone get it get it and he's like ha ha and sonia's not having it because she's decided she's gonna fight with dorinda no matter what and if dorinda isn't gonna fight with you she's not going to fight with you. She just smiles and kind of shakes her head back and forth. Because I love you Sonia. You want a sandwich? Make a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:39:33 And so Sonia does her walk off thing. At this point you're like. What are you even doing? You just know she was going to do it at some point. And it's hour 13 and shooting. She's like that's it. I'm going to walk off. I don't even care.
Starting point is 00:39:44 And she gets up to walk off. And she goes i don't even want to be part of this show until she admits that she doesn't care about my feelings yeah and she doesn't even walk off because she knows that yeah don't fire her ass you know they don't care so instead of walking off she just stands behind bethany's couch yeah she basically goes about five feet so she doesn't even make it to the dressing room she doesn't even do a proper walk-off. She just sort of wants to stretch her legs a little bit. Sonia's like,
Starting point is 00:40:11 you're sorry? Okay, I'll come back. Great walk-off, Sonia. Great walk-off. Lovely dress, though, which is her own. So then, finally, once Sonia settles down, it's time to dive into miami so first they are rehashing bagatelle and ramona not joining for sandbar and all this stuff whatever so we see
Starting point is 00:40:34 this whole clip package for that and then i have a note that says jules says something so i guess jules had a thought um and then oh well the only thing that she said um and it was a moment but the only thing she said that made a moment was when uh they were saying so oh and he was like luanne were you worried about bringing two women that had dated tom on the boat where you were celebrating your relationship with tom and luanne goes oh i'm so secure i didn't even think about it twice it was totally natural it was you know blah blah blah and jules goes oh andy come on two of my bridesmaids were two of michael's ex-girlfriends it's like oh jules yeah you should have seen the signs she's saying it like yeah you see what's the big deal
Starting point is 00:41:22 poor jules and we also learned by the way along those lines that jacques is going to the man's wedding oh lord surprising to me i have to say poor little guy's gonna be like that cute little like two-year-old that walks down throwing the petals it's a big flower flower girl it's to be like the hairy little baby walking down the aisle. And everyone's going to go, aww. And then he's going to get, like, confused and stop dropping the petals. And everyone's going to be, like, making pantomiming. No, keep dropping the petals.
Starting point is 00:41:53 Keep dropping the petals. And he'll wander off. And then everyone will laugh and smile. Little mini Balki. Bless his heart. Balki Schwimmer. So, then they're talking. You you know sonia says she's embarrassed about she's really embarrassed about like making catty comments about the land's ring and the yacht
Starting point is 00:42:12 a murky there she is with the murky little yellow diamond i mean compared to the diamond i had and she lifts her finger and i'm like you do not even have a diamond girl did that get repossessed by the old man he probably sent some assistant over there to peel that thing off of her finger. She was referring to Lou Diamond Phillips. Call back. Call back. I'm very good friends with Lou Diamond Phillips.
Starting point is 00:42:34 We met in Saint-Tropez when we were entertaining the Nigerian football team. Lou Diamond? My Lou Diamond Phillips has been in way more movies than her murky yellow diamond. My diamond has expressed courage under fire, if you know what I'm saying. And then she
Starting point is 00:42:51 just to remind us that she's classy, she's like, I need to just be bitch slapped or whatever it is that you girls do. You don't do that in the croquet. So we don't do that okay so basically Luan's like oh this is terrible blah so then do we switch over because everything is about Luan even though it's the same thing that goes nowhere every other question is like so Luan faking it or not yeah because now it gets to this whole – actually a really stupid argument about Village Idiot because at one point Bethany called Dorinda, what are you, like the Village Idiot? Like what's going on?
Starting point is 00:43:32 Which to me was like a nothing. Like when that happened during the season, it was a nothing. So when Andy asked it, he – I mean he knew what he was doing. He knew he could ask a question about the stupid phrase Village Idiot and it would get Dorinda in a tizzy. And now it's like dorinda's mad that she was called the village idiot and that's when bethany says well you know it's like i you know like i like they asked me about my opinion you know opinions are like assholes we all got them well that's an asshole opinion yeah which was a funny response bethany
Starting point is 00:43:57 when she called her the village idiot that didn't make sense in the first place yeah like it didn't really make any sense but she says uh well you did end up being the village idiot. Like, you were the last one to know. You were the last one to know everything. That's like the village idiot. Uh, not really, but okay. Yeah. And she just starts going, you're defensive today. Like, you're very defensive. And Dorinda goes, oh, so
Starting point is 00:44:17 it'll be the last, you know, village idiot Bethany will ask me not what it is, okay? How about, how about that's not what a village idiot is? And she goes, okay, well then define the village idiot. What is, okay? How about, how about, that's not what a village idiot is. She goes, okay, well then define the village idiot. What is it then? She goes, the village idiot walks around like vroom, vroom,
Starting point is 00:44:34 vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, and it's like, an idiot is not me, and I'm not from the village. Like, you're trying to make me look local and dumb. I loved how so technically this is what Dorinda actually
Starting point is 00:44:50 said. She goes, a village idiot is someone that's an idiot that's very local that walks around like da da da da. And I love like the idea that if the idiot was not local it would be a totally different concept. Like, very local there i'm a very
Starting point is 00:45:07 local idiot i'm native all right like you can't it's not an out of town idiot it's someone who's there and is like so local but also by the way when when bethany said that thing like you're very defensive today you're're very, very defensive. I love when Dorinda just goes, oh, okay, Bethany, thank you for your psychological analysis. It was like a great dismissive retort. Oh, Bethany. It's from literature, okay? It's from literature.
Starting point is 00:45:38 So if you don't get it, good luck. It's from books. And she goes, oh, yeah, it's from literature? All right. Well, someone tell Sidney Sheldon, because he's never told me. What do we got here? Bethany Shakespeare? Is that what's going on? I ain't no
Starting point is 00:45:52 Mary Higgins clock. She never said that. Thanks a lot, Milton. Basically, Andy is just trying to make it look like he's going for bethany because everybody's been giving andy so much shit for kissing his ass because they're friends which obviously he does like it's not a huge secret uh so they're like go after bethany so this is his
Starting point is 00:46:14 way of going after bethany without having to really mention you know the fact that she's fucking a married dude etc etc etc and you know by the way this is it was such a non-issue the village idiot thing that bethany could have been like oh you cetera, et cetera. And you know, by the way, this is, it was such a non-issue, the village idiot thing that Bethany could have been like, oh, you know, I just meant that like, you know, it just seemed like she was naive.
Starting point is 00:46:29 Like, I don't know, maybe it was the wrong choice of words. That's all she had to say. But instead she's like, well, she's a village idiot. And I was like, well, it's from literature. You don't know,
Starting point is 00:46:35 have you read every Chaucer before? You ever read Chaucer? Like, like literally, like kill me now. Like honestly, like you've never had English lit. Like honestly, like, like what,
Starting point is 00:46:41 you didn't even know what a book is. Like you've never read my book. Like I have like 10 books. The fact that you're not reading my books, like honestly, like kill me now. Like honestly, like take me to Barnes & Noble, knock a a book is. Like, have you ever read my book? Like, I have, like, ten books. The fact that you're not reading my books, like, honestly, like, kill me now. Like, honestly, like, take me to Barnes & Noble, knock a bookshelf over me, and just let me just drown in books. Literally, kill me now.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Yeah, it's from a Bethany Frankel book. It's from Letter Trucker. And then, just to follow up with another stupid question that means nothing, Andy's like, remember that fight with Carol? Oh, God. It's like another time. Bethany's like, we're not so close. Like, look, we God. It's like another time. Bethany's like, we're not so close. Like, look, we fight. She's like, you're late.
Starting point is 00:47:08 I'm so sorry, Mom. Sorry I'm late. I mean, what's the big deal? So I took a long time to get ready. You can't. No, no, it's rude. I don't care, Bethany. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:47:19 And then there was talk about, is Carol different when she's around Bethany or not? And Carol's like, I'm always the same person. Like, I don't change. I just love Jules. Jules, of all people, just goes, no. No. No, Carol. It's like, no offense, but your personality drains, Addie.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I'm the same wherever I am. For example, if I'm talking to the prince and princess on one way. And then when I go downstairs into Bryant Park and I put paint all over my boobs and protest with 20-year-olds, I'm the same person. No, you're not. I give my personality five radishes out of five. What was that protest called
Starting point is 00:48:01 when all the youth were protesting wall street occupy wall street oh yeah occupy i loved when carol went down there to be with the occupy people and she's like what they're protesting yeah like a super rich privileged woman who's done nothing for where she is i mean she did have a job, but her fame and money and stuff comes from literal royalty. She's like, I'll occupy Wall Street too. No, Carol. Quiet over there, Razzaville.
Starting point is 00:48:34 Quiet over there, Razzaville. So then the question is, why did Ramona lie to Dorinda about Bagatelle? And I love Ramona. She just goes, you know what? I'm at this point in my life where I just want to live my life. Okay? It's just easier for me to
Starting point is 00:48:51 lie about my life than have to talk about it to Dorinda. Okay? Sometimes it's just easier, okay? Because Dorinda, like, has a couple of... And it makes it very difficult to talk to her. Hi.
Starting point is 00:49:09 What is this question? The question is another best. Do you browbeat people? What are you talking about? Who does that? I don't do that. What do you mean? How do you say that? What do you say? I browbeat people? How could you say that?
Starting point is 00:49:23 What do I? Beat people? Brow people? What are you saying? Actually, you say that? What did you just say? I bribe people? How could you say that? What do I beat people? Bribe people? What are you saying? What are you saying? What are you saying? And she goes, actually, I feel like that's what happened to me because I'm hurt after you today. Like these women are terrible. Like I don't even know what's happening today. They're bribery me.
Starting point is 00:49:35 Ow. Yeah. I was like, you know, Bethany, you're the last person to act like a victim in this situation. You know, when she called Dorinda totally nasty and aggressive. I'm like, Bethany, this is like your M.O. You realize this is how you treat people every episode at all times. You just come on at level 10, and now you're upset that people are being nasty and aggressive to you?
Starting point is 00:50:00 That's what you get after a while. If you're always coming full force, people are going to be like, okay, fine, I'm going gonna come full force back at her and she's just doing they actually say it to her in such a nice way but she her eyes she gets those popped eyes and she's like i can't believe they talk to me like that like uh uh but when she said you seem you seem angry today jarenda which is her which is how she's trying to stick everybody by saying ah you seem so angry. Who cares? First of all,
Starting point is 00:50:26 it's a housewives show. And then Andy, you know, just to stick it to everybody. It's like, you both do. I mean, with all due. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:34 But Dorinda is basically like, you know, you're aggressive and harsh. And when I hang out with you, I feel bad about myself. And she's like, well, yeah,
Starting point is 00:50:41 that's aggressive. Yeah. And basically the rest of it is, as Andy says says it's time for the big one i was like oh no we're 25 minutes in we're gonna spend another 35 minutes on this i was shocked i i also had that same thing like wow like this is i thought it was gonna get like you know two segments at the end but this is really gonna be half the show is the photo the tom photo the photo and bethany's like i'm gonna be calm i'm gonna be
Starting point is 00:51:05 calm yeah yeah good luck with that bethany and andy is like these pictures where'd you get these like i don't understand how this happens it's like you live in pine valley oh andy so now everybody's gonna just play dumb with this like how did bethany get the pictures yeah bethany's like i don't even know like i woke up at 2 a.m and i get the series of pictures like it's like why because the person that was in that circle they were so shocked they were just like so shocked like it was it was a shocking thing and then i got a series of pictures like can you not lie for one second it was a series of pictures if that was true we'd have like a moving gift by now yeah yeah it was one picture exactly and um and so it was all
Starting point is 00:51:48 this discussion about the photo and then um like i think that you know my notes are a little i was a little drunk when i was watching this but um i think it was a boy bad boy um i think this was around the time correct when luann was like why like, why did you wait until the end of the weekend? Like, you know, instead you're asking these questions like, am I monogamous or whatever? Was I, you know, asking like, why would you say I have an open marriage? Why would you say da-da-da-da-da? So then what – They all say, well, you said you had an open marriage.
Starting point is 00:52:19 She's like, oh, I never said that. And then they cut to her going, well, I had an open marriage. Yeah. So then they finally get Luann to kind of like, she's like, well, I mean, like, I didn't want to have an open marriage, but he wanted to have an open marriage. And so, you know, we were basically separated at that point. And I love that Bethany, like, Matlock over there is like, but you're married. But you're married. But you're legally married.
Starting point is 00:52:39 But you're married. Well, yes, we were married. But then he was having an open marriage. So I called it separation. But you're married. But you're married. But you're married. But you're married. But you're married. But you're married.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Like, shut up, Bethany. Not remembering that Bethany, because she said, but you were legally married. Legally, you were married. Oh, really, Bethany? Do you not remember just having a fucking fit because people were pointing out that you're legally married and so is your boyfriend? Yeah, I think that was her point. I think she was trying to be like, you see how hurtful it is? See how hurtful it is when people like hammer you on these things?
Starting point is 00:53:04 Like, whatever. Like, you're separated, but you're married. So it's not a big deal. I think she was trying to be like, you see how hurtful it is? See how hurtful it is when people like hammer you on these things? Like, whatever. Like, you're separated, but you're married. Like, so it's not a big deal. I think she was trying to do that. I mean, to me, it was all semantics. I mean, I think we understand the situation, right? Like, Alex wanted to hook up with other women. Wasn't there like an Ethiopian princess he was hooking up with or something?
Starting point is 00:53:21 And Luanne didn't want to, so she was forced into an open marriage situation. It's like semantics. separated open marriage the point is their relationship had crumbled right well to me it sounds like he just cheated on her yeah and she was like what the hell you cheated on me he's like yeah i need to fuck other people and she's like okay then we're you know just tried to ignore it and you know she puts all these words on it later to make it look more normal because she's luann and yeah i can't really tell anything that's not a lie because she's a real housewife yeah but it seems like she was just trying to cover it up to make herself look better not understanding saying an open marriage kind of makes her look like a hoe yeah and so then
Starting point is 00:53:58 bethany's just trying to bust her on this she's and she's going but you were married but you were married i'm like bethany just give it a break like literally it just made her seem so petty and for a woman who who likes to act likes to be above it all you know and be like you know and get annoyed that luann would be petty with her but i'm like bethany you're being just as petty yeah and then uh when they were saying when she was saying why didn't you wait with the pictures? And Luann's like, they just wanted to talk behind my back and make me look like the village idiot. Oh, good one, Luann. Tie it in, Luann.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Tie it in. Nice call. You're going to be the village idiot? How many idiots are in this village? I mean, what sort of village is this? I'm moving out. Honestly, I'm homeless. I don't want to even live in this place.
Starting point is 00:54:41 I just want to have no home in this village full of idiots. That's all. Meanwhile, the village idiot restaurant has had a surge in reservations. I know. I don't want to even live in this place. I just want to have no home in this village full of idiots. That's all. Meanwhile, the Village Idiot restaurant has had a surge in reservations. I don't know why. That's the best free marketing. There used to be a bar in New York City called the Village Idiot, which was my absolute
Starting point is 00:54:54 favorite bar. It was on 14th Street, and you could go in there and buy a pitcher of Bud Light for $5 and eat peanuts. It was amazing. Well, we have the Village Idiot, and it is not like that. It's fancy. It's a fancy yeah um so i actually thought luann won a point here because there was all this stuff you know what you were saying like oh you just want to talk behind my back whatever and like no i was trying to figure out like how to talk about that and that's when luann was like well basically
Starting point is 00:55:20 if you were a real friend you would have shown it to me privately instead of splashing from the entire world. But instead, you showed it to them, and you had to laugh about it, you talked about it. And, you know, it's like mortifying for me. And why don't you just show it to Dorinda first, because Dorinda was the one who introduced us. She said it much more...
Starting point is 00:55:38 Yeah, this was hilarious when it turned into... Luanne's whole defense turned... Because Luanne doesn't have a defense, except that you said it on camera which was embarrassing which I don't know I guess well I think that is her argument I mean I'm sorry to interrupt at first I I actually was like fine with the way Bethany revealed it which was like you know I don't want to ruin a weekend I've got this this crazy thing happened I gotta tell someone and I'll just tell Luann at the end of the weekend but then I honestly
Starting point is 00:56:02 felt like Luann had a had a pretty eloquent little monologue where she just railed into Bethany, and I kind of felt like her points were extremely valid, where she said, like, you could have just shown me this privately. You didn't have to show it to them. Well, yeah, that's her thing. But then when she turned it into, you should have showed it to Dorinda, because Dorinda, I'm close with Dorinda.
Starting point is 00:56:22 Yeah, that was stupid. I'm not close with her. And Dorinda goes, yeah, but I'm close with Dorinda. I'm not close with her and Dorinda goes yeah but I'm close with her. Yeah Dorinda and you're also the one who can't keep a secret and then takes what everybody tells you and twists it and then foists it upon somebody else.
Starting point is 00:56:35 That's true too. You have your own segment called the shit stirrer. Yeah but there is a shred of logic to that which is like don't show it to like Ramona. Go to Dorinda, who knows both parties and might have some – I don't know. There probably was no good way to handle that situation, to be honest. No.
Starting point is 00:56:59 I think if Luanne just quits while she's ahead and says, you should have told me that in private. Why would you go on camera talking about it for four days before you finally come to me? And then, of course, the answer would be because it was your anniversary or it was your engagement party. Like, what the hell am I supposed to do? Like, come on the boat and tell you? Yeah. In which case, no, just tell me before or text me the picture. And they're like, yeah, but we didn't want Tom to be able to lie.
Starting point is 00:57:24 But Tom still is able to lie. Like, yeah, the point is, whether you bring it up on camera or off camera, she's going to be able to lie and play it off or whatever. So I don't know. I don't know how you win because it's a TV show. So they have to talk about it on TV. But I don't think she should have blindsided her like that on TV. And I think Luann is right that she totally was an asshole talking about it with everybody
Starting point is 00:57:43 first on camera, letting everybody have their say, and then trying to make it about yourself while you're pretending to cry and everything when you finally do tell it. Absolutely. And by the way, you know, you're talking about how Dorinda can't keep a secret. I mean, look at Ramona. Ramona immediately told Sonia. So I think I don't think Bethany handled it in a terrible way. I think she actually handled it in a fine way, but she could have handled it in a better way. And I think that Luann,
Starting point is 00:58:08 you know, Luann, I think is just, you know, she's over-dramatizing a bit, but I understand why she would, obviously I understand why she was upset by the entire situation. But as you said before, Luann should have quit while she's ahead. If there's one thing that Luann
Starting point is 00:58:20 has never been able to master, it's quitting while she's ahead. And she's been ahead so many times over all these seasons and can't stay ahead never has been able to i mean when she did be cool don't be uncool she has never been more ahead in her life and she immediately squandered that by going after carol with adam so you know but that was when she was still kind of drunk and just like fuck some married guy on the balcony and like doesn't really didn't even really know what she was saying you know she stumbles into being ahead right um i also like that during this um bethany then bethany is like
Starting point is 00:58:55 gonna leave too she like gets up say i can't i'm not i can't describe like well like if i have to like describe again like why why i asked luanna why she's monogamous like i can't like i'll answer too much i'm like just to settle down bethany just and i kind of i'm kind of she's ridiculous for getting up but and then she's another one who can't even walk off she just did a turn in the set back down it's like nice uh nice turn weirdo community theater dancer but um the the thing that's the most annoying to me about this is they're mad at each other instead of the man. Exactly. The man is the one making out. None of this really had to do with Bethany anyway.
Starting point is 00:59:29 So it is kind of obnoxious that she had to talk about it and defend herself and do all this stuff over it. Luann's being delusional, staying with the guy. But yeah, it's really none of Bethany's business. And I do actually understand Bethany's frustration because she had a reason. She was like, okay, if you guys have an open relationship then it's fine and this is no big deal and and i asked this because you mentioned before that you have an open relationship but the way i kept on doing this thing of like well i mean of course we're monogamous we're getting married could you believe it we're getting married would you believe it so i can understand why bethany's like i
Starting point is 01:00:01 literally can't deal anymore but she's also overdramatic herself yeah it was kind of a downer way to end it because they've already talked about it and fought about it so much yeah it's making me crazy like can we bring maybe john on for a minute but you know bethany i mean finally actually bethany and luan did start to get to more of a um clear-headed place where they're a little bit more emotionally open. And Bethany was like, look, I didn't know what to do. You know, it's like a crazy situation. I didn't want to pop your bubble. You're having a great weekend.
Starting point is 01:00:34 I didn't know what to do. And I'm like, finally, just say that. Like, that's just the perfect way to say it, you know? Oh, she's exhausted. So she finally gives a decent answer. Yeah. And then Luann also was like, like Yeah Luanne says she was embarrassed And devastated by Tom
Starting point is 01:00:48 And then this is when Dorinda Starts describing her weird Phone call that she got from Tom When he tried to cover it up Oh yeah yeah yeah I forgot about that part Where basically Tom's just calling everybody Threatening them And it also dovetailed nicely with Sonya's story
Starting point is 01:01:04 Of Tom coming up to her and being like. Well we would really like you at the wedding. But you're going to keep up with this story. Calling everyone to threaten him. With not coming to the biggest wedding of the year. Yeah. The off brand D'Agostino wedding. The not a grocery store magnet.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Wedding of the year. Yeah. And then she's like. Well he was doing that for me. He was just trying to help me. the not a grocery store magnet wedding of the year. Yeah. So, um, and then she's like, well, he was doing that for me. He was just trying to help me. Uh,
Starting point is 01:01:30 that makes no sense. But now, so now, even though there was a clip of Luann saying like, don't, if you, if this happens again, like,
Starting point is 01:01:37 don't tell me Luann now says, well, actually I would like to know. I just was in a mental wreck that day or whatever. And so then Bethany was like, I can't win. I can't win. That was like the most tactful I've been all season long. I was so tactful. And I still like to know. I just was in a mental wreck that day or whatever. And so then Bethany was like, I can't win. I can't win. That was like the most tactful I've been all season long. I was so tactful.
Starting point is 01:01:49 And I still can't win. From now on, I'll be like, shut the fuck up. Like, honestly, I can't. Like, what's the point of tact? I literally did nothing wrong. It should be called not Tic-Tac-Toe. It should be called Tic-Tac-No. Because I have no tact anymore.
Starting point is 01:01:59 Because honestly, there's no point. I literally can't. Tic-Tac, I'm not even telling you the rest because I don't want you to cry and get offended and make me look like an asshole on national tv how about that yeah how about that how about this like you put down an x i put down a nothing like i'm not even gonna play tic-tac-toe with you anymore like literally it's like the worst game like what's even the point of it like we're putting x's and o's like what's what's the fun of that like great oh and then ramona keeps making this look like
Starting point is 01:02:20 and she's like are you sure are you sure you'd want to know luanne like if he was doing that again to you are you sure that you'd want to know the win the win are you sure yes yes i would so andy's like uh bethany i think that uh she knows something yeah well andy goes i feel crass asking this which is coming from me yeah he goes it's a lot coming from me. Yeah. He goes, it's a lot coming from me. When he says I feel crass, that's code from saying I'm so excited to ask this. I feel so lucky asking this. Ramona, do you know something? You seem like you know something.
Starting point is 01:02:58 No, no. Those assholes, they made it look like for a week that ramona had all this information and she's giving that crazy eyed look but no that was just ramona giving a random crazy eyed look and i think she has no information but i think she was playing coy on purpose because she wanted to make luann feel suspicious yeah and she's like no no i was like wow way to pay it off bravo been showing that for weeks now and then they asked luann like what would have like like what would have happened if tom had made out with someone in private would that have bothered you as much she's like well that would have that would have bothered me more
Starting point is 01:03:38 because the fact that he did it in public shows he didn't know what he was doing he was so drunk he didn't even realize it but in private that's more deliberate i'm like she is and i know this word is way overused on this reunion but delusional just delusional she's just nuts at this point so andy tries to change it around and he's like now let's say one nice thing about each other no no no wait wait wait wait wait before before that part uh he asks he asks luann so what do you love about tom and she's like well you know we both have the same sense of humor and love the same jokes and we love the same sports and uh you know we both love calamari oh we really bonded over calamari and that's when ramona of course starts like poking at her like well what about he's genuine? What about he's considerate?
Starting point is 01:04:25 He's thoughtful. He's giving. What about the deep things? What about the deep things? I mean, unless you don't care about the deep things, I mean, that could just be who you are. Like Ramona, your husband shaves. He does like a full body wax and bangs teenagers. Are you really going to talk about deep relationships right now?
Starting point is 01:04:42 Now's not the best time, Ramona. And that was Luann just like, oh, please, Ram please ramona just look at this one shut up carol i wasn't even saying anything i'm just being myself ramona's so past aggressive that's just because you like the same sports that's not why you marry someone but that's okay you know people like people get married for stupid reasons too like luan and tom i support you you know there's a deep end of the pool and there's a shallow end of the pool at the same but all in all a pool's a pool am i right it's like a baby pool but babies just go in there and pee it's still a pool you can't hate a pool and then um they bring up the pirate again for some reason um about like this is the most difficult thing i've ever gone through in my life yes he goes more difficult than the pirate
Starting point is 01:05:33 she goes well that was bad she just goes that that was bad so then then comes the then comes the part that you're talking about you know the group therapy part that andy decides to do that was so funny he's like what is one thing you would have done differently this season and jules is like i wish i would have and then tv 14 right over her head and they just cut her out like bye bye she said i wish i wouldn't have offended people if i did offend people like bethany it's like oh no you're already fired moving on i know and then they have and then it ends with this awkward group hug that bethany ignores it was like at the end of the atlanta reunion when everyone
Starting point is 01:06:17 was hugging nini except for candy when they had to say something nice about each other, Sony goes, well, I don't have a lot to say, but I just want to say I really like Bethany because I really like a basic friendship. Yes. What an odd way to end the season. But thank you. Yeah. Ramona's like, I'd like to say, you know, Luann, a positive thing about you is you're happy with so little. You know? Like, you have such low standards.
Starting point is 01:06:51 I would love it if I had low standards, too. Sonny's life in the pod, he's got the best coat. Luann's like, the most positive thing about you all is that I want you all to find happiness like me. I'm getting married, girl! The best thing I could say is that I do believe that you believe that I'm getting married. Would you believe it?
Starting point is 01:07:16 You do! Bethany sitting during the group hug was a thing of beauty. Beauty. Classic Bethany. Oh, so good. What's a group hug? a thing of beauty. Beauty. Classic Bethany. Oh, so good. What's a group hug? Like, I don't get it.
Starting point is 01:07:29 Like, a hug is between, like, two people. Like, what am I, the village idiot? I guess I'm the village idiot now because I don't want a hug. I'm sorry. Well, last year when she got to rip everybody apart post-reunion, she was saying, Oh, you see, we can even fight and then we just all go out for dinner. That's how we are. You know, you leave the game in the stadium, you know, and then the players go out to drink.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Like, no matter who wins, no matter who loses. Tom and I love sports. It's very different when you're on the losing team, isn't it? Yes. She probably doesn't think she even lost. Wow, what a way to end a season. I'm so sad that it's done. This will probably be the one time I will watch a Secrets Revealed episode, assuming that they have one,
Starting point is 01:08:08 where I will actually be excited for it, because really, any footage from these women is great and amazing. Well, I've got a secret. I'm getting married, girls! Would you believe it? They have secrets on me and Tom. I mean, how rude of them. I mean, why can't they just be happy for us?
Starting point is 01:08:26 Why do they have to reveal more secrets about me and Tom? You should have let Dorinda tell me the secrets revealed. Here's the secret that's revealed. I've got ten more Santa Clauses in the closet. Alrighty. Wrapper up. Let's move on. But there are two things I actually want to bring up before we move on to our next thing.
Starting point is 01:08:49 Two little things. First of all, today is Lisa Vanderpump's birthday. So happy birthday, Lisa Vanderpump. Darling. Sorry for manipulating you into getting older, darling. Also, while we were just talking about Real Housewives of New York City, our good friend Angie Thomas, who we absolutely adore, sent us a little gossip thing from New York Magazine. And the writer of this article was talking about going to a party. Allie Jones is her name.
Starting point is 01:09:17 And she said she ran into Bethany Frankel at the party. And I think the title of this headline is, A Terrifying Encounter with Bethany Frankel at Us Weekly's Most Stylish New Yorkers Party. So she details it. It's actually pretty brief, and I don't think it seems terribly terrible, but
Starting point is 01:09:38 she says that Bethany did not want to talk to her at all, and that this writer asked her about Bitch Sesh, which is the other big Bravo podcast that's out there with Casey Wilson and Danielle Schneider, right? And Bethany looked,
Starting point is 01:09:57 according to the article, Bethany looked at her like she was mentally incompetent and said, what happened? Bitch something, the podcast? What is she saying? I don't podcast what's she saying i don't know what you're saying that's literally the quote i'm sure so which sounds so bethanyish and then she goes so this writer then says i asked her about the rumor that she worked with producers to prove tom cheated on luann this season um and bethany goes that would never ever happen on the
Starting point is 01:10:21 show ever i and then and then the writer says that she laughed nervously for about a million years. And then Bethany's blonde 24-year-old assistant whisked her inside. Who was laughing? Bethany? No, no. No, the writer. Because Bethany cut her down and she was so nervous about it. She's like...
Starting point is 01:10:40 Oh. She's like... Of course not. It never happened. You know, being really aggressive right now'm just waiting for the elevator to come. Yeah, being really aggressive. What's the matter? Well, I just clicked on this link, and it's the most fashionable New Yorkers.
Starting point is 01:10:53 And then they show Bethany in a whatever happened to baby Jane dress. And also Frankie Grande. Yeah, so there you go. Sorry, you lose. Again. You lose again. I know what this feels like to walk into a party and nobody even knows who you are. So why don't we have a little palate cleanser between Housewives franchises and talk some Below Deck?
Starting point is 01:11:21 Well, sir. Does that sound good for you? Sure, Ben. some below deck well sir that sound good for you sure bian um so uh we'll just we're just gonna do like a like sort of we're just gonna talk through it we didn't take notes we're just next week or whatever we'll probably start taking notes on it but we can just go through the characters i have to say kate chestane and i'm saying this without any bias because she's a friend of the podcast and has been on here. She is so funny. So funny on this show.
Starting point is 01:11:46 Yeah, she really is. I love how she can just take anything down. The big fight this week with Kate was toast. Yes. It's all about toast. Because for whatever reason, it's her job to make toast. Why? Why? That hasn't really been explained in a way that I understand.
Starting point is 01:12:03 It's a job. It's your job to make a toast, darling. If they don't like the taste, it's all up to you, toast maker. I've burned the toast three times this week already because I've had to use the oven. And I'm not going to let it happen again. Because Kate, of course, is like, well, I'm not going to make toast. I'm Kate Chessian I don't make toast So we're going to put the toaster down in steerage
Starting point is 01:12:28 So it's like who's going to bring back the toaster Why are they fighting about toast On the gluten free trip Oh I forgot that barley has gluten in it So many questions So few answers Oh and these charter guests are so hilarious. The woman that's like the band leader.
Starting point is 01:12:50 What was that she said? She was on the inflatable and she said something like, yeah, if you have like 12 oranges a day, children who eat hot dogs, more than 20 hot dogs a year, get leukemia. It's that serious. I felt so bad for the big girl. The big girl was like from the 50s. In any movie from the 50s, there's always like the chunky lady
Starting point is 01:13:15 who's the town gossip. Like in every movie, they're like, here's Eve Arden. It's like all these models. And then the gossip comes in. She's like, hey girls girls have you heard what happened with so and so oh jeez
Starting point is 01:13:29 it's like Juliet's nurse maid Romeo and Juliet yeah pretty much and this poor woman they were I mean she seemed so nice but they also gave her such a mean edit like in subtle ways they really did they were so mean to her they're like okay insert a clip of that girl putting something in her mouth yeah and then like when they were leaving
Starting point is 01:13:49 the the beach uh picnic they had the shot of her like rolling on the inflatable like they were just like 10 people rolling her on up onto it it was such a asshole they were so mean to that girl yeah but she was i mean she was and she was flirting with well i think she was flirting with captain lee right she was like trying to get the captain yeah yeah she's like i love you too bad i'm on duty otherwise i might say something back and pat you on the head for now i'll take your money and watch you leave with respect. Captain Lee actually, for the first time ever, laughed at something. Because Sierra, the dumb third stew, served him coffee with a Splenda bag in it.
Starting point is 01:14:34 And he's like, look at this. I don't think she's much of a domestic type. Also, I like that they're having the captain come down more now they're like dude just come down just sit in the galley and just watch what these idiots are really like because it used to be very rare to see him but now they'll show him just kind of leaning on something in the galley watching them and just shaking his head i know like our country's doomed like when kate and ben were talking about balls and then Captain Lee is right there. I'm like, huh?
Starting point is 01:15:08 Unless you guys are talking about rules. I don't know if I'm into this conversation. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking
Starting point is 01:15:38 about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th,
Starting point is 01:16:04 or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society
Starting point is 01:16:45 that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex
Starting point is 01:16:59 collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. Um, I just kept writing, big girl still yapping.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Oh my god, they just kept showing this poor girl. They'd be like, oh, they're leaving scene. They just cut to her going, huh, yeah, I was like really worried about it because like, you know, like this could be like oh they're leaving sea and then they just cut to her going huh yeah i was like really worried about it because like you know like this could be like summer camp you know like you're just going off with a bunch of girls you don't know what they're gonna do like are they gonna put in your hand and hot water and then make you pee while you're sleeping are they gonna like freeze your underwear are they gonna just like beat you up while they all laugh and
Starting point is 01:17:39 then go off and like not eat stuff but this has been so fun right girls and then they show the girls staring off into space yeah they were like there were two girls who were like why the fuck did i sign up for this i hate this get me off this yacht which is not unlike in blow deck med when those like asshole older guys brought those women onto the boat and they're like is this done yet um i also uh um i also liked when kate said like i love i wish every guest were as obsessed with social media as these girls are then i could just like stay in my cabin just tweet them that dinner's ready i like after the toast fight when ben was like all right i feel better now so i'm feeling about toast you know every breakfast war eventually ends
Starting point is 01:18:29 but you know it's never over because there's going to be another guest someday that wants breakfast i mean it's it's kind of amazing how how well kate handles ben because he he does just go so batty sometimes, you know? He gets so angry. It's the chef. What are you going to do? I loved also the Trevor stuff in this episode. This guy... This was the gem of the episode, yeah. This guy's troubled.
Starting point is 01:18:56 Like, at this point, there's just something wrong. I need to know, is Senior Deckhand a real thing or not? I don't think it is. Then why isn't anybody just saying Senior deckhand isn't even a thing? Everybody's placating him and saying, okay, we know you're the senior deckhand, but you still have to be nice. Why is that a thing? Why doesn't anybody just say a deckhand's a deckhand?
Starting point is 01:19:17 Yeah. Why? Gosh, I don't know. He is such an idiot. I mean, he at one point is showing off his tattoos. He's like, yeah, I got this tattoo of a squid because it reminds me that I like the water and I got one of a toad eating a mushroom that says like don't be afraid to be weird and you know look at toads and you know I got a I got a I got a
Starting point is 01:19:38 tattoo of like a pencil with an airplane which which says like, you know, you can erase your past, but keep flying. I used to really like the WB channel, which is why I have this dancing frog. Homeward space really changed me. So his big story, other than just being a general douche and bossing people around was that after the charter was over they all go on uh they all go get drunk which they've always done on this show but on below
Starting point is 01:20:13 deck med they were like okay this show's boring let's have them get wasted again and became like every show they were getting wasted um so this uh is kind of taking from that i get they they all go out and they get wasted but no one gets as wasted as trevor because he's that ass who no one likes in the first place yeah but then he shows up and he's like i'll have a long island hey i'll have another long island oh the long island i'm like you're you're 24 trevor, I'm sorry. 24 going on 25. So, yeah, it's going to be pretty old soon. Or going on 25. Yeah, well, who says that? So then he's like, yeah, I mean, honestly, once you're 23, you've kind of aged out of Long Island iced teas.
Starting point is 01:20:58 Although they actually are delicious. But the fact that he kept on asking for Long Island iced teas I was just mortified even if he just ordered one of them I was just embarrassed for him I was embarrassed for Long Island and it takes a lot yeah he was getting drunk he was getting belligerent and he was like can I buy my boss a drink
Starting point is 01:21:21 your boobs are big listen i got a thousand dollars i don't i need to spend it it gets in the shower no one's a drink it's lanes yeah like stop making me look at your boobs yeah everyone here hates me because by the way the backstory uh leading up to this is that kelly did eventually tell him like hey man like you gotta calm down stop bossing people around they have experience you gotta guide them you don't have to boss them he's like oh i feel he's, I feel undermined. I'm so undermined. I've never felt more undermined in my life.
Starting point is 01:21:49 So now he's acting out. Now he's drunk. Yes. Well, at least we get to see first episode, we got to see him eat a booger. In this episode, we get to see him white boy dance. Oh my god. Oh. So everybody wants to go back to the boat, which is also a weird thing because they're like, let's just go back to the boat and party, which you're not supposed to do.
Starting point is 01:22:13 So why were they all like, let's go take a hot tub? I thought that wasn't allowed. I think I actually believe it's because he was so drunk and wasted that they were probably like, they would all rather as a group go back to the yacht than be out with him getting more and more wasted oh okay i mean that's what i would imagine that's i've been in those situations before where the group is like you know what let's just all go home this guy's getting too drunk yeah so they end up going back because he's being so obnoxious and then kelly yells at him well and not just yeah no go ahead well it's not just that he yells at me because the thing is they go into the hot tub And Nico hates this guy Nico and the Australian girl
Starting point is 01:22:48 Hate Trevor so much And they're at their wits end You know, because on top of that Once Trevor You know, Trevor became Totally passive-aggressive So, like, he's been We forgot to mention the fact that, like
Starting point is 01:23:00 During the beach picnic Nico went out there To set up all by himself And Trevor was just, like like digging around in the yacht because he's like well fine if he's going to say you know I bought him a round then fine he can do it all on his own which is so obnoxious so Nico can't stand this guy
Starting point is 01:23:14 because also when Trevor came out he didn't even help out all he did was draw like beach picnic in the sand with sticks and then back at the boat Ben's like how was your day and he's like it was awesome I sand so with sticks and then back at the boaties ben's like how was your day and he's like it was awesome i made stuff with sticks yeah all righty then yeah great so then um so then they are they'll get in the hot tub and when they're in there nico's already like
Starting point is 01:23:40 annoyed that he has to be in a hot tub with trevor and trevor's, yeah, so what's up with your tattoo? He's like, yeah, I got it when I was 14. He's like, yeah, I can tell. The shading's really bad on it. And he goes like, fuck you. And then that pushes him over the edge. Finally he's pushed over the edge. He's like, I'm not even gonna stay in here. Why do you gotta say stuff about my shading? What the
Starting point is 01:24:00 hell, man? He's like, I was 14. It was when I was 14. Like, why would you say that about my shading? Guys are so stupid. It. Like, why would you say that about my shading? Guys are so stupid. It's like, you can take this much, but what finally pushes you over the edge is the shading comment on your shitty tattoo. So then Kelly starts yelling at Trevor because of this. He's like, just go to sleep, go to sleep. But then Trevor, at this point, he's just drunk and insolent.
Starting point is 01:24:26 And everyone's talking about him. He's like, the gossip's about me isn't it you know there's a gossip about me so much all right it's like oh my god he's just so beyond awful and this we didn't even talk about the fact that he's sitting early at one point in the episode he's sitting with captain lee and everyone's cleaning the boat and he's sitting there and he's like yeah just bought a 14 000 car he's sitting there and he's like, yeah, just bought a $14,000 car. He's sitting there with the captain and Ben who were having like boss, boss relax time while everybody else is cleaning. So he's just pretending he's a boss too. He's like, yeah, just bought a car. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:58 $14,000 truck. And the captain was like, is this guy an idiot? Is this a moron? Like he should be there's a yacht there's a yacht to be cleaned there's a yacht to be cleaned sir and you're buying a car no sirree moron i like when trevor got mad at kelly for telling him off and he's like yeah sure enough kelly has to blow it out of proportion like okay he's trying to be a father figure but guess what my dad is my dad okay but of course leave it to kate you know kate knows
Starting point is 01:25:26 how to exact revenge on a douchebag and so she has him like clear out like shit from from the girls from the toilet and he's like pulling it out and barfing everywhere and then that's when kelly's like hey trev can you uh come to the aft deck he's like i'm busy that's when kelly loses it i mean it's like every scene was like an instance of trevor being a total douche i know i how long do you think it's gonna take for him to get fired because he's not gonna make it through the season so well i think like two episodes two or three episodes because the fact honestly that car buying thing doing that from captain lee it's one thing to do it from kelly but he did it right in front of the captain and captain
Starting point is 01:26:01 hates that shit especially when they're like when then he like messages to nico and the girl owens like hey uh so i'm busy doing some uh figuring out some accounting stuff as if it's like pertaining to the yacht in any way and he's like so uh you guys just go ahead and just uh clean all the shit that i have to clean so bad well the need literally had to clean shit suck it trevor suck it um but highly entertaining wow i was like chuckling the whole episode there it is below dick below deck we love it um can't wait for next week's episode i really can't i'm i'm really enjoying it um and now moving on you know we're about to move on to real houses of Melbourne. But we've gotten a few messages about something. And I think that it's something that we have to do because it's been a while.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Do you know what I'm talking about? No. Let me jog your memory. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me? We are the Flynn. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me? Clear the phlegm. Clear the phlegm. Clear the phlegm. This will just be a quick one.
Starting point is 01:27:13 But Clear the Phlegm is a segment where we go on to Caroline Fleming of Ladies of London, her Instagram, because she has the most ridiculous Instagram ever. And two separate people tagged us in a photo from about last week. It's a picture of some yogurt with like granola in it and a few things.
Starting point is 01:27:35 And this is the caption from Caroline Fleming. Since boarding school, I have loved mixing a fruit yogurt with a whole freshly squeezed orange juice and putting cereal on top. The yogurt becomes so light and refreshing, and I think it's a perfect way to start the day. Bonjour. X, X, X.
Starting point is 01:27:53 That looks nasty. Who does that? But I love how she just, like, she tacks on this, like, flowery store. Back in the boarding school days, I discovered this thing of putting cereal on yogurt. It becomes light and fluffy. And it's like, what are the dreams I'm made of? Isn't it funny how my grandfather murdered your grandfather? Isn't that the most delicious flavor?
Starting point is 01:28:15 Yogurt and cereal. Oh, little phlegmy phlegm. I'm looking over all of them. I like this one of her pretending to eat something on a bun. Because you know that didn't happen. It's like one of those shots on TV where you never see a bite taken. Only the pickle has been eaten. But she's like, I would put hamburger in my mouth, but take it before I have to bite down.
Starting point is 01:28:36 They're like, okay. It's like, also I'm wearing leather. Wait, will you please read the one? It's the second one that she's posted where she's standing in black pants. And she's holding like a little, she's sipping from a, she's standing like holding a straw and a drink and next to her yellow bag. I'm always trying to figure out what she's trying to sell. And this one, it could be yoga pants. It could be a purse or it could be a drink.
Starting point is 01:29:01 It could be a mirror. You never know. But she's always tagging somebody because she gets paid for her instas. I'm guessing it's the purse, right? I think so, but the caption is just too precious. Thank you, Dr. Mary Zamanu, for making me look refreshed
Starting point is 01:29:16 and feel radiant when I haven't slept properly in weeks. Dash. Topped off with a fresh lemon squeezed into water with some fresh mint leaves and ice. Dot, dot, dot, dot, space. I'm going to go and enjoy a walk in the sunshine. Dash.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Hope you all have a chance to do the same. X, space. X. Oh, God, I love her. Love her. So she is basically getting free doctor's appointments while drinking lemon water. What the hell? I just hope you all get to walk in the sunshine the way I get to walk in the sunshine, too. How lucky are you to be able to walk in the sunshine like me?
Starting point is 01:30:01 Well, she stopped doing one of our favorite things though which i do not approve of lady which is hashtagging everything because normally this would be hashtag sunshine hashtag lemon hashtag bubble straw hashtag yellow purse hashtag counter hashtag lean hashtag flip-flop. Hashtag toe and ankle. You're right. She has slowed down with her hashtags, which is a shame. Oh, bless her. God bless her. God bless her.
Starting point is 01:30:32 Clear the flame. So let's move on from Copenhagen or London to Dubai. For Real Housewives of Melbourne, their trip to Dubai continues and this episode was the episode. This was just one big episode of fighting and screaming.
Starting point is 01:30:56 It was wonderful. It opens with the same fight in Dubai around the table, the sit-down, like the sitting on the floor table or whatever yeah and there are turbines and stuff and pedofloor is just being a victim and gina just starts screaming at her which is where we ended last time yeah and gina's like it's friendship 101 it's friendship 101 it's friendship 101 and betty's like oh oh, everybody hate me. Oh, no. Oh, no. They're just talking over each other.
Starting point is 01:31:26 She screams friendship 101 like 20 times. Yeah. And then Betty's like, I can't fucking handle this, okay? Stop it. Stop it. And she goes, stop the fuck. I don't know what that means, but it's hilarious. And that they showed it like 20 times of her just going, slam on the table.
Starting point is 01:31:44 Stop the fuck. Aren't you feeling ashamed of yourselves? You women attacking one person at the table. You ought to be ashamed. It is deplorable and unladylike. Don't you know I'm going through a terrible breakup with my son. She's just like, I haven't said one negative thing about you,
Starting point is 01:32:05 you stupid. Yeah, I mean, Chica was getting riled up this episode. Chica's like, am I not allowed to get upset?
Starting point is 01:32:17 Am I not allowed to get upset, Petty Fleur? What are you upset with, Chica? All I did was compliment you. Am I not allowed
Starting point is 01:32:24 to get upset if you say something about me? There, now you've learned a lesson. Let's have some tea. It's like I've always said since I was a little girl. You can talk about me. You can talk about Brucie. You can't talk about my lips. Thanks for the
Starting point is 01:32:39 advice, Chica. These lips don't lie, nor do they get brighter, okay? Oh, but I think they got a little bit brighter why would you say that what did she say could you make out what she said about her lips because i said no i think she said oh chica it looks like your lips are a little brighter i don't know hey dear she talked about my lips come on chica that's the thing you're gonna be mad about with pedoflore i know you have so many options why would it be that one and she's like pedoflore is like chica you are a grown
Starting point is 01:33:11 fucking woman okay you are a grown woman chica and gina goes bull fucking shit shut the fuck up i'm sick of your bull fucking shit i've had enough of your indulge she's like I've had enough of your indulge. She's like, I've had enough of your indulge. Bull fucking shit. I love that she inserts a curse into another curse. Bull fucking shit. I'm like, that's just like amazing. But that's also, this is right after Gina just goes, And you need to snap the fuck out of it.
Starting point is 01:33:39 And Janet goes, Go Gina! Go Gina! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Gina, go, go, Ross, it's goodbye Gina. Isn't it wonderful chicken? I wish chicken were here to see this. Yeah, and so Gina's just like, I've heard enough of your bullshit. Because her voice is now like shrill. Because when she screams, she goes, she goes from this goes, I've heard enough of your boozha,
Starting point is 01:34:06 Padafloor. I mean, you want to get out, you gotta listen to people, Padafloor. Padafloor goes, well, I didn't listen to a word she was saying. Coming from Gina, this is rich. Like a bitch. And then she smiles and nods. I love when Padafloor says something so stupid, but
Starting point is 01:34:22 then she smiles and like wink nods at us like, get it? No. Yeah. No, we don't. And then Petaflora eventually lies down and goes, like, oh, Petaflora, oh, Petaflora, you're so rude. So rude. What are you doing, Petaflora?
Starting point is 01:34:34 Oh, she's lying down. That's so rude. I can't believe I've never seen something more rude. I ain't gonna say she's being rude right now. And, you know what? I agree she's being rude. Susie just shaking her head mortified. She's like, so rude. So rude. Susie just shaking her head mortified. She's like so rude.
Starting point is 01:34:45 So rude. I mean if I put a pavlova there she would have crushed the pavlova. So rude. Friendship is how you make people feel and you make people feel like bull fucking shit and they're not going to be friends with you pedoflare. Because everyone
Starting point is 01:35:03 cares for you. Mother you know we love that you're a good mother we love that you've had such a nice long relationship with your son i mean we love that you dress ridiculously and you're in love with yourself and you look like grace jones and the queen of the nile but it was like what's this grace john? How could you? This is debilitating. Is she saying that I'm jonesing for some grace, that I have no grace? I don't get it. That's rude. And Chica's like, Gina, what Gina did right there was speak beautifully,
Starting point is 01:35:38 and that's why Gina's the barrister. So then Gamble She decides She's gonna change the subject I'm gonna change the subject I'm gonna sing a song So I want everyone Let me sing a song about the CWA And then she
Starting point is 01:35:54 Was that like a Was that like a parody of Like a song from like Bye Bye Birdie or Guys and Dolls Or something It sounded very familiar I don't know It was like
Starting point is 01:36:02 We are the women of the CWA. We drink drinks and feel very high. They're like, Oh, Gamble. So funny. Serving is required of the ladies of the CWA. This is from when I studied opera.
Starting point is 01:36:20 And then I'm surprised that Petaflow is like, Oh, okay, but no song for me. Okay, but I'm surprised that Petty Fleur is like, oh, okay, but no song for me. Okay, but I'm used to it. There was nothing that rhymed with Petty Fleur in that song, but it is okay. You know, we stay by the ocean, which is full of waves, but there is no way for Petty Fleur. And then Lydia has a philosophical question. She's like,
Starting point is 01:36:46 why is the Country Women's Association in Turok? I mean, Turok's not a country. So the next day, Chica, Brucie, and BJ are talking about BJ. BJ went to Texas to talk to people about paperclips,
Starting point is 01:37:06 and then he was off to... Where was he off to? He went around the world. He was traveling. He was off to Europe to have the time of his life. How did you go to the youth hostels on your own there, BJ? So I just went. And Chica's like, you know, what you've done at 19 is extraordinary. I'm like, like yes he was
Starting point is 01:37:25 a camp counselor that's great that way you traveled around the world with your parents money wow hat on the back kid i think that chelsea has just really lowered the bar for achievements they're like well you know chelsea's still shoplifting for macy's so you know the fact that you're a camp counselor is pretty impressive to us chel Jesse managed to get out a fedora under a pashmina. It's nothing to be proud of, Brucie. Well, you know, Jesse completed her stamp card at Yogurtland, so
Starting point is 01:37:53 you know, the fact that you do me a camp counselor is really impressive to us. So since this is a basic Xerox of the Real Housewives of Beverly, trip, trip, trip, trip, trip, it's a rehash of the beverly hills vacay in dubai next is the sukes yes i just wish somebody got like a rat in their pashmina or whatever like they did in that one yes they're walking through the souk and gambler's
Starting point is 01:38:18 overwhelmed so much to see here and she goes like i just divide everything by three and so um and then jackie jackie's loving all the gold she's like before i got married i was a very wargy chicken i love my gold i don't know what any of that means but okay i like that janet no matter where she is just walks through everywhere doing the same thing she goes isn't the Middle East wonderful? Isn't this amazing? The Middle East. And then Susie is talking about how she's still agitated by Petty Fleur. I don't know why Susie of all people.
Starting point is 01:38:57 She was barely affected. And then Janet is saying, well, you know what? I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out with Petty Fleur. Oh, God. It's what I'm doing. I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur. Oh, God, over and over. Here's what I'm doing. I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur.
Starting point is 01:39:10 I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur. I'm tapping. Tapping. I'm just going to focus on chicken. Tapping into chicken. Tapping out with Pity Fleur. He just kept saying tapping out over and over. And Susie's like, I couldn't sleep a wink last night. I was so stressed about pedoflur i felt like i was a souffle that had been deflated for the cwi um and then lydia
Starting point is 01:39:37 and pedoflur are over talking about lydia goes and finds pedoflur suntanning by the pool and you know lydia's actually trying to be nice, like checking in on Petaflur. And Petaflur, of course, being dramatic, she's like, I feel like I've been in a tumble dryer, spun out for five hours and barely surviving. Relax. I like that she goes, I feel like I've been through. And Lydia goes,
Starting point is 01:40:01 I thought I'd find you here. Can I answer? Yes, yes, you're right. That's exactly it. She does her whole tumble dryer thing and Lydia Lydia goes, I thought I'd find you here. Can I answer? Yes. Yes. You're right. That's exactly. She does her whole tumble dryer thing. And Lydia's like, I don't understand laundry. But what I was hoping was that she'd say that Gina was right. And she'd apologize.
Starting point is 01:40:17 And she's like, I'm not going to be told. It's a grown ass woman to change myself. If I was going to change myself, I would change myself. If you were me, you would be talking about yourself too. Because me is me and me is Petiflor. Who doesn't want to be a Petiflor? Lydia goes, you're unique. I was like, yes. And she got all precious about lip color.
Starting point is 01:40:40 I was saying it as compliments. And then Lydia's like, you know, it's funny because last night when we were talking about blogs, no one said, oh, well done, Lydia, congratulations. I did. I did. I said, what blog? I'm the quiet achiever. Although I'm not really quiet and I'm not really an achiever.
Starting point is 01:40:59 Oh, you know what you're like? It's like someone put you in the dryer and pressed permanent press. And you're permanently a It's like someone put you in the dryer and pressed permanent press. And you're permanently a blogger now. Lydia, I've said to her before, your arrogancy bugs everyone. It's your arrogancy, pedifluid. What you really need to look at is your arrogancy. She just kept saying it. And I was like, oh, what kind of friend are you?
Starting point is 01:41:23 Do you want to talk about arrogance? She goes, no, I want to talk about arrogance. I'm the one who got beaten up to a pulp. No doubt of here. What about a hug? Why wouldn't you come to me and say, Petiflor, are you okay? She goes, actually, that's what I just said, Petiflor. I said, Petiflor, are you all right?
Starting point is 01:41:45 No. And you say it from over there you say are you okay from over there what about right here where i am right here it's fine to do it from over there she's sitting right across from her and meanwhile by the way the music is like comedic music that's playing they're not even playing like serious like housewives fighting music it It was like, I just want, I just want a hug. And then they cut to Petifleur with a water bottle and she's holding with two hands, like a baby with her bottle.
Starting point is 01:42:14 She's like, it was amazing. Finally, Lydia gets mad and goes, you're fucked. That's why no one wants to talk to you, Petifleur. What, what? You want a hug? Here it is. She's like, one wants to talk to you, Pettiflur. What, you want a hug? Here it is.
Starting point is 01:42:25 And she's like, fucking idiot. And she goes, why don't you switch the bitch, Pettiflur? And she's like, I don't want to be interrupted. Damn it! It's like you opened up the dryer in the middle of the cycle and then closed it and then pressed start again so that everything just stayed wet.
Starting point is 01:42:44 And even though the timer went off, you'd think it's done, but it's still wet inside. That's how I feel, wet inside. She's like the baby that just keeps pressing the PowerPoint over and over and getting electrocuted. Don't you learn? I'm like, that's not how PowerPoint works, by the way. Haven't you heard
Starting point is 01:42:59 about Abraham Lincoln and how he fancied it? You think he went out there and flew a kite in a marshmallow storm? No. He learned. And to this day, the reason why I'll never get a job is because I don't want to do a PowerPoint presentation because I don't want to be electrocuted. And then after all this, they like kiss and say
Starting point is 01:43:17 goodbye and I'm like, okay, see you later. She's like, okay, sorry I'm in a bad mood. I'll see you later. And she's like, you're a little pocket rocket. I love that she's like a little pocket rocket that doesn't give a gobble gook. And if you don't like it, you can bug her off. What are you people even talking about? I know that we're foreigners, but I don't even think the locals understand what the hell y'all are talking about.
Starting point is 01:43:41 Yeah, it's making no sense. So then there's like a very long scene with chica and her friend talking about flowers and the only thing that was remotely interesting about this is that chica once made a dessert display that was like one and a half kilometers long so that was that royal wedding um then you know we love to watch these we love to watch these shows because it's all these super rich women spending all this money. And that's part of the fun of these shows. But this, like being in Saudi Arabia, talking about royal weddings where women don't have equal rights and all the zillions of oil money that you're spending on these shitty weddings. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:18 I can't. I can't get behind that. Sorry. I can't. But where did we get a peppercorn that color? Anyone tell me? Isn't that fascinating? I'm like snooze.
Starting point is 01:44:28 So then the women go to the Sheikh Mohammed Center for Cultural Understanding. And like if there's one thing that's never going to happen on this show or any of these Real Housewives shows, it's understanding. So this is already a dumb trip. But I actually really like this segment. I thought it was really fun. And I felt like I learned a little bit. liked this segment i thought it was really fun and um i felt like i learned a little bit and this guy the this guy who was teaching them about like islamic culture was really cool or maybe he's teaching about arabic culture he was really funny i he was like really funny and i was like this is
Starting point is 01:44:54 actually kind of refreshing you know because we get so many terrible um portrayals of islam through the media these days and i was like this was actually i think a really nice thing to happen for america well the uh the best thing in it for me was jackie oh yeah jackie jackie they totally below decked her ass they kept showing her staring at the food and like licking her lips yeah and he's like yes and it is how you are you must act in the middle of the town for a woman and she's like can we eat yeah it was actually like a really weird thing they just kept on cutting back to jackie and the music would get really serious and she was just so hungry it was so bizarre and in the meantime janet's like oh chicken i think I found my new husband. He's a sheik. Oh, and he's very sheik. He was, Jackie was like, I mean, Janet was obsessed with this guy.
Starting point is 01:45:50 He's like, I'm very handsome. He's a gorgeous man under those robes. I could have ridden that camel all day. It was a marvelous camel. Live a right sheik. And she's so blatantly flirting with him. And she's like,antly flirting with him. And she's like, is it true that you can have multiple wives?
Starting point is 01:46:10 He's like, yes, it is. She's like, oh, divine. Brian would love it here. Tell me, do you like to hold hands too? Oh, you do. And then the women all put on burkas or veils. And there's this great image. I took a picture of it, but my TV is broken right now, so the colors are all wonky.
Starting point is 01:46:40 But there's an image of Gamble with a little veil on, like an Asa veil, where only her eyes. It's like over her nose. You see the rest of her, but she looked like a a little like a baby owl it was i know i wrote down gamble veil 29 ish so i could find it in the time stamp it was absolutely and then the one i thought no one could top that until they showed janet and her full cover her full cover ghost Purple covered ghost thing. Oh, well, chicken. So he is telling them five times a day we pray and we ask ourselves, did you harm anybody? Did you blah, blah, blah? I'm like, how many people do you all stone?
Starting point is 01:47:19 But okay, I'll go along with this. Jackie's like, well, I connected with the spiritual values, but I'm starving can we eat he's like okay eat she's like oh delicious angels are telling me it's time to eat so they go to dinner and now it's like another fancy dinner and when pedoflora comes to the table everyone's like well hello pedoflora she goes like you look lovely don't you pedifluor oh look everybody look at pedifluor she looks lovely yeah and i love pedifluor in her interview she's she starts shimmying and she's like you know last night it's like water off a duck's back and she shimmies i'm like i don't think one shimmying properly expresses what our orthodox back. And also I don't think you know how that works because you clearly still have all the water and it's soaked in and you were not tumbled dry because you have
Starting point is 01:48:11 a lot of grudges right now. And so they're talking about going to this center for understanding and talking about that. Pray five, you know, like Muslims pray five times a day and think about apologizing. And so pedophile goes, so, you know, it's funny that and think about apologizing. And so Pettiford goes, so, you know, it's funny that you mentioned about apologizing because I was thinking about it last night and thinking about apologies. And I just want to say that I...
Starting point is 01:48:34 And all this nice music is playing. Like she's about to just give this huge apology. And she's like, I think that no one appointed any of you as God. Where's my apology? You don't get to tell me how to live my life, ladies. This is what I think when I think of praying five times. You know, I was hoping that we could turn the tide,
Starting point is 01:48:54 but instead you just poured the tide into the washing machine and spun me around. You put me into the tumbler dryer without any dryer sheet. I come out crispy and smelling gross. How am I supposed to bounce back from this when you won't even use bounce? You guys are not being on the up and up with me. I just want an apology. That's all. A-L-L.
Starting point is 01:49:21 That's all. I'm totally out of Don't bring me downy Don't try to bring me downy I just want us to be friends I want you to apologize We can have a big group hug And snuggle together
Starting point is 01:49:38 Snuggles I'm sick of you trying to be a stained stick on humanity ladies I deserve a big apology from the snuggles bear by the way I am sick of you trying to be a stained stick on humanity, ladies. I deserve a big apology from the Snuggles Bear, by the way. Who does he, she think he is? Do we even know what the gender is of the Snuggles Bear? I mean, come on now. Who are you to try to iron out my wrinkles? Who are you?
Starting point is 01:50:04 You and your cheery attitude. You know you're a real bitch snuggles. I'm going to gabble immediately. Oh, so dinner's about to eat here, dear? Yeah. Is dinner going to be about you, Zell, and Petit Fleur? At which point Janet's like,
Starting point is 01:50:18 I'm tapping out. Petit Fleur, get out of here. No one wants you here. Why don't you get the fuck out i'm tapping out i'm tapping out and then at like two minutes tapping what is this tapping is that the sound of like change in the dryer i like that betty says she never tapped in yeah so then um but the best part is then they're talking I mean it's the same It's the same shit
Starting point is 01:50:45 And then Janet's like You know what Petty I'm I'm I'm still tapped out But I have something to say to you It's that I tried
Starting point is 01:50:54 I tried with so much love I tried to give you so much love And it's just like I don't get anything back I really don't So then Petty Flo's like Well Janet I'm sorry Oh Petty Flo
Starting point is 01:51:04 That's all i wanted chicken i'm tapping back in i'm tapping back in everybody this is the worst wrestling fight i've ever seen so uh lydia goes shannon will change her mind in one hour and apparently on the flip-flop. Such urgency. And Gamble's mad seeing people make up. Yeah, so now Gamble moves on to Gamble. This is like the entire fight is like a
Starting point is 01:51:36 wildfire. So now it's spread to Gamble. I find you so ungenuine. So ungenuine. I mean, like, what about me? Gina doesn't spend time with me. It's like we don't ever hang out again. So Gina's like, oh, please don't be a silk about bullshit.
Starting point is 01:51:54 That's all shit. Wah, wah, wah. You hurt my feelings. I'm not going to sit here and watch you cry. I can't take that shit. It's ridiculous. Now, listen, if you don't accommodate accommodate me you can't be my friend yeah i love when she said that yeah i love when people are honest like that she's like uh when it's
Starting point is 01:52:10 convenient for me you're gonna be my friend and if it's not gonna be convenient for me fuck off lady yeah she's like oh oh oh she's like oh baby no one cares get it together stop being some fucking in the middle of some bull and some shit stop being possessive stop being possessive and gamble has just been like run over by a train she's like oh well she's like turning away sobbing like just it was gamble you had no chance and then and then they were trying to be like the smart ticket for one second she goes you're making me out to be a villain in front of these girls. That's nonsense. It's a load of shit, Gamble.
Starting point is 01:52:48 Yeah. Yeah, and Gamble's like, well, you know, you're just a petty flirt. You know, you're trying to, like, friendship is about how you make people feel. Now you won't even listen to me. I'm like, no, it's not the same thing, Gamble. It's not. Gina is a good friend to you. And you've let these women get into your heads.
Starting point is 01:53:02 Just reach out to Gina and you can hang out with her. And then Gina goes, there are no issues with this gimbal all right my door is always open to you and then chica says you can't make pediflu apologize and then ignore gamble i think gamble goes she's probably my favorite on this show and what a dumb ass i know you can't even say one thing to her because she always gets it wrong she doesn't even know what the hell anybody's talking about yeah now i don't even know who she's mad at yeah i'm surprised gina didn't get it's like all right gamble here's a song for you. It's for the CWA. It's called Get the Fuck Out of Here. That's it. Shut your fucking mouth before I fucking shut it for you.
Starting point is 01:53:50 How about that, Gamble? How's that for a song? We are the women of the CWA. Shut the fuck up now. Did you study opera? What? I don't even know what you said. I just heard, did you say the opera?
Starting point is 01:54:05 Oh, yeah. Opera? So then, Jackie. So how does it spread to Jackie? Because now Jackie goes after Lydia. Why does it go to Jackie? Jackie, really? Every time.
Starting point is 01:54:16 I mean, there was one time where Susie kind of pushed her into it. But Jackie's just always ready. You get a couple of drinks into her, and she's like, All right, I'm going to yell at someone. That's what's going to happen. Her hair is like messed up. She's one of those drunks that when she starts drinking, her hair gets crazy. And that's what was going on.
Starting point is 01:54:31 And you're like, yeah, none of this even had anything to do with her. But she's making her crazy face where one eye closes and the other one's rolling. I love her faces. She says, all right, well, we're talking to trees. Why did Lydia say that I'm a bad dynamic? Susie told me. Susie said that to Lydia. That's right.
Starting point is 01:54:50 Lydia said that to Susie, that I'm a bad dynamic. I was like, do you not remember already having this discussion? Susie goes, no, I said bad energy. Like, when? When then? What did I do then? I'm not surprised because there's a double standard. Oh, no. Lydia says, I not surprised because there's a double standard. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:55:05 Lydia says, I'm not surprised there's a double standard. Or everyone else can say things, but when I say it, it's the big deal. Well, and then Jack is like, you tear apart families. If anyone has bad energy, it's actually you ruining families. It's you. You're the one who ruins families. Isn't that right? She's told me outrageous things about
Starting point is 01:55:26 women and their families so if you want to keep it real lydia how about you talk about all the families you're bringing what families i don't even know what a family is that was so funny lydia's like what the fuck jackie says now i'm not the kind of person to repeat what you would say so i'm not going to repeat it but if anyone has bad energy it's you because you ruined families that had good energy and now the whole family's dead family murderer and they're like what and it makes me cringe the things you say about people i'm not going to say who or what i'm just going to say you're horrible it's like well you gotta say something lady yeah so she says it's three people at the table that she's been talking about now chica is at the other end of the table dressed like an edgar allen poe poem okay she's like got
Starting point is 01:56:10 this huge funeral fur it's the weirdest thing i've ever seen chica wear and that's saying something yeah it was very yeah big like black feathers around the shoulders it was it was like black swan ish um yes sort of from the 20s but not like somewhere between Tim Burton, Edgar Allan Poe, and Cruella de Vil. And Dave Medman going to a funeral. Yeah. And Sheikah is, for the first time ever, she's turning into the Kool-Aid man and she's starting to go red. And so basically Sheikah's like, yeah, you have been saying things. You've been saying things and I'm not going to repeat them. You know what you said. You've been saying things, and I'm not going to repeat them.
Starting point is 01:56:46 You know what you said? You know what you said? And I'm not going to repeat it. It was very Lauren Conrad to Heidi Montag. You know what you did. You know what you did. And I think we can all infer what Chica's talking about, correct? No.
Starting point is 01:57:00 What is it? I was assuming it was about Brucie being gay. Oh, did she say that? Well, we don't know. But that's the biggest rumor, right, that surrounds Chica is that Brucie is gay. And I can't tell because then we find out what she said about the other ladies. Janet was like, she said, I had affairs. What an awful thing to say.
Starting point is 01:57:25 And then Gina was like, well, she said something about my partner, Dean. I mean, apparently Dean was staring at her ass one day. And guess what? I don't blame him. I would have stared at her ass too. It's huge. He was probably thinking, what the hell is that thing? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:40 And then Susie's like, now everyone knows what I go through. I'm Susie. I'm still relevant. But then, yeah, I assumed it was about the gay thing you know because someone sent us some gossip recently that they either heard from someone who works in the show whatever and they're like well yeah they're like brucey's definitely gay which i don't i actually don't believe i don't know i don't know if i believe brucey's gay to be honest but then they said that lydia remember when we read that whole thing in the newspaper about Gina? There's a whole anonymous letter, and we always assumed it was Andrea.
Starting point is 01:58:11 Apparently, according to this person, it was written by Lydia. So maybe that folds into this. Who knows? Well, Lydia and Andrea were a team at that point, so they probably helped each other. Because I don't think Lydia would have been able to string that many sentences together on her own yeah bless her heart so chica was is just furious chica was like going after lydia and be like you shouldn't say those things shut up you shouldn't say it be quiet you know what you said it's not right it's not right it's not right going after someone it's so funny she's so mom she's like now sometimes in life lydia there's times
Starting point is 01:58:45 at dinner tables where it's time to just shut your lip and now's one of those times young bright lip bright lip oh yes are you going to get mad about your lip chica but chica like she was furious and then eventually she had to get up and she's like she goes to the bathroom Jack she's like hate her hate her wait a year and a half to say that hate her and then and then Jackie I think it was Jackie right who just says that Lydia she's like you know she's
Starting point is 01:59:16 a fucking cunt so I'm like be careful about saying that word in the bathroom on this show yep this is the season one fight all over again because that's what happened with Gina. She went to the bathroom, thought her mic was off, and called, I think, Andrea the C word. And then they all
Starting point is 01:59:32 jumped down her throat. The difference... I mean, for the whole season. Did he say that to a woman? He would do that to a woman? Say the C word. That is so disrespectful. But the c word that is so disrespectful but the difference is that um uh uh in season one gina said that with lydia in the bathroom because they were friends and then lydia went and told
Starting point is 01:59:54 andrea this time i don't think that chica is about to go tell anyone i think that will stay there in the bathroom and we'll it will it will probably come back at the reunion but i don't think it's gonna become a scandal yeah i don't don't either. But I like that Gamble, once Chica went off, which Chica's version of going off was hilarious, but she's like, be quiet, young lady, or you're grounded. Gamble was like, Chica's scary, and
Starting point is 02:00:16 Gina and Jackie come bowling. No, Gina and Janet come by, and scary sounds at the table. Oh, this show's so, so good. I hope that every single episode can open with, Stop the fuck! It's bull fucking shit.
Starting point is 02:00:37 The mouths on this show. The mouths. Well, great show. Super funny. I hope everyone is enjoying Mel B i know uh tira tira who has messaged me a few times on snapchat i believe it was you tira you said that you never watched melbourne before and then you started watching because of us and now it's your favorite so i'm hoping all i gotta say is you're welcome tira i love some melbourne love melbourne um everyone thank you so much for listening we hope you have a wonderful weekend All I've got to say is, you're welcome, Tiara. I love some Melbourne. Love Melbourne.
Starting point is 02:01:05 Everyone, thank you so much for listening. We hope you have a wonderful weekend. Happy birthday, Lisa Vanderpump. And then, remember, check out, go to the LAPodFest.com website. There are celebrities going to be there. So if you're in the area, please come to our show. Please, please, please, please. Or sign up for the feeds.
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