Watch What Crappens - #328: C'est Fini!
Episode Date: September 16, 2016It takes a village to make a TV show, and it takes a village idiot to make a reunion. Come listen to us take apart the third and final installment of the "Real Housewives of New York" reunio...n. We talk about Sonja, LuAnn, Tom, Ramona -- everything. Plus, we're buttering our toast for "Below Deck," and we're tumbling dry our emotions for an explosive Dubai episode of "Real Housewives of Melbourne." 00:00:00 - Intro 00:06:19 - Crappens Mailbag 00:19:30 - Real Housewives of New York reunion pt. 3 01:11:00 - Below Deck 01:24:39 - Clear the Flem 01:28:17 - Real Housewives of Melbourne Subscribe at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Support us at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Follow us at facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Visit us at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Watch what crap is. Watch what crap is.
Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap happens?
What happens?
What happens?
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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens?
Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens,
a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and the Banter Blender podcast. And joining me is the wonderful, the hilarious, the forever listening to and enjoying La Bamba,
Ronnie Karam from TrashTalkTV.com and Rose Pricks podcast and Big Brother Smother podcast.
Hey, Ronnie, what's going on?
And the world at large.
The world in general.
The world at large. Oh, in general. The world at large.
Oh, hello, Benjamins.
How are you?
I'm doing...
I'm very sad, though, because last night was the last Rahania.
Yeah.
For a long time, and I'm very sad.
I know, but what a great season it had.
In case you guys didn't pick that up, that's Real Housewives of New York, which is what Ronnie is referring to.
Great season.
I am drinking my large Tiago iced coffee this morning.
And as we all know, Tiago is a special cold brew, which is made purely of jet fuel.
So I am already bonkers.
I was singing La Bamba before the show, which is why I referenced it.
And I don't know.
I feel like I really had to share that with everyone.
La Bamba.
La Bamba.
Me necesito.
I don't even know the lyrics.
So let's talk.
One of my friends growing up told me, you know that song's about child murder, right?
Is it?
Because I didn't know that.
No.
Oh.
They were just being an asshole.
I grew up in a Spanish-speaking town town but i didn't learn all the spanish and so i had to actually learn the spanish
for that song because i was like nah and i learned i was like it's not about child murder how rude
yeah i um i think it's just about like a party or something um all i know is that i saw the movie
la bomba in what, 1986, whatever,
when I was a young child and it like made me cry for hours,
hours.
I tell you.
Yeah.
That was pretty sad.
And Lee Diamond Phillips guys.
RIP.
Is he dead?
No,
he's alive.
I was going to say,
geez,
why are there so many lies surrounding La Bamba?
And when the aliens came and destroyed Buddy Holly in the plane
I mean, what a way to go
So, everyone, welcome to the podcast
If you're new, we are so glad that you're here listening
We aren't this demented always at the top of the podcast
First of all, we want to thank our super duper super premium
Patreon supporter,
subscriber,
Madonna Hines,
Madge.
We love her.
She is wonderful.
And of course,
it wouldn't be a week
of Watch What Happens
if we didn't give
a major shout out
to our premium supporter,
Christy Dougherty,
our longtime sugar mama.
That's a kiss and a Zerber.
It's the remix of La Bamba.
Anyway, everyone, go to WatcherCrappins.com
to find all our social media links,
like Instagram, Snapchat, whatevs. Go to Facebook.com forward slash WatcherCrapins.com to find all our social media links like Instagram, Snapchat, whatevs.
Go to Facebook.com forward slash WatcherCrapins to join in on the conversation.
Lots of funny stuff happening there.
Photos, GIFs, gossip, everything's happening on that page.
It's amazing.
Go to Patreon.com forward slash WatcherCrapins.
If you want to be like Christy Dougherty and Madonna Hines, that's a way for you to become a supporter of this podcast and you get access to all sorts of amazing cool things um chiefly a
weekly bonus episode which is like another like 45 minutes to an hour of content every week
i don't what did we talk about this week in the bonus episode ronnie you talked about
basically i yammered on for 40 minutes straight about patty lapone while you ate a beef jerky
let's be honest and let me tell you something everyone it's wildly fulfilling we talked about I yammered on for 40 minutes straight about Patti LuPone while you ate a beef jerky.
Let's be honest.
And let me tell you something, everyone.
It's wildly fulfilling.
We talked about Claim Jumper, too.
It's more fun than it sounds, okay?
It really is.
We have, if you listen to TuneIn or you're thinking about signing up, we have actually another show on TuneIn, on TuneIn Premium called the Watch for Crappin's Gossip Show
and we talk about Bravo Gossip on there
and so go check that out.
And we are
performing next week
at the LA Podvest.
I know you're probably sick of hearing us talk about it, but
we want to make sure we have people come. And
we actually found out
who some of the people are that are going to be there,
which is really cool, like some of the celebrities.
So this may entice you, okay?
So Bill Hader from SNL, formerly of SNL, he's going to be there.
Bill Hader, I mean, enough said.
Will Wheaton, if you are a big, like, nerd fan,
Will Wheaton is, like, the king of the nerds.
David Harbour from Stranger Things is going to be
there. Adam Pally from Happy Endings, one of my favorite sitcoms of all time, he's going to be
there. Mike Scully, who's a writer for The Simpsons. Aisha Tyler, who, you know, I love Aisha
Tyler. Kevin Pollack, who famously, famous comedian, podcaster, he was in usual suspects and tj miller from silicon valley
and also a who had an episode on happy endings so i mean and then there's us so did i name drop
and then there's rondell caron rondell caron um they're all going to be appearing at some point
over the course of that weekend so uh guys come guys this tiago coffee is really killing me
i think i'm i think i've said everything right um you've said everything being i've said everything
that needs to be said so should we just move on to the crappin's mailbag has to be better than what i got in my real mail i got this thing from
crunch.com and it's like a little pamphlet on it's like you're fat hey it's like ronnie still fat and
then you look on page two and it's like god you're even fatter than you were at the previous page.
And I'm just keeping it on my desk.
I don't know why.
Just threw it away.
You know, sometimes we just need to be shamed.
It doesn't work with fat people.
Shame makes us hungry.
Oh, well, it's weird.
It's like you have to get.
Yeah, it depends on how the shame hits you.
It has to hit you in the right way.
No.
It hits you in the right way, it motivates you.
But if it hits you in the wrong way, you just eat more.
Nothing tastes better than a big plate of feelings, Ben.
That's actually very true.
I really support that.
Okay, so, Krappen's mailbag.
Oliver Haskins. He says, first, um, Krappen's mailbag. Oliver Haskins.
He says, first, thanks for the advice.
Okay, whatever advice we gave you, you're welcome.
He said, I got the Radzuil plant mister, and it looks great.
Great.
Second, Luanne's phone call to Tom in Bethany's room was so odd
because she had to repeat everything he said for TV.
Assuming this is the
way that they speak on the phone regularly how do you think the conversation went when luan found
out that tom was not of the dagasino dynasty and thus she would not get to do her morris the cat
impression over the supermarket pa system could you imagine me not getting to speak on a PA system
all right so how do we do that so wait what's the question
I'm just thinking of Morris the cat in the PA system
oh Tom another Tuesday Tom dinner it's Luann talking to Tom over the phone
and having to
She's basically having a one-sided conversation
Because she has to repeat everything Tom says
Then she has to react to everything that Tom says
Okay, over the PA system?
Well, no, I'm sorry, over the phone
Finding out that he's not a real D'Agostino
Okay, so I'm just supposed to have a conversation with you
Where I'm breaking the news to you
That I'm not a real D'Agostino
No, it's basically like we're both i think we both imagine what luann would sound like talking to tom
on the phone um about i'm i'm like literally so stupid today i'm so sorry and i am like so wired
i can't comprehend things okay i think this is the way it would go all right tom tom what are you saying to me you're saying you're not a real dagasino of the grocery
empire he's not a real dagasino the grocery empire are you saying i can't go into any dagasinos
anymore and announce what the specials are for today is that what you're saying yes that's what
that's what you're saying are you saying that i just can't sing Chic C'est La Vie at 5 p.m. at the produce aisle?
Is that what you're saying?
Yes, that's what you're saying.
Tom, are you saying you don't have an apostrophe between the D and the A in the D'Agostino?
Is that what you're saying?
Okay, he's not saying that, girls.
Tom does have an apostrophe between the D and the A in the D'Agostino.
So, Tom, how many people – are you saying that there are other D'Agostinos with apostrophes between the D and the A in the Dagestan. So Tom, how many people are you saying that there are other Dagestinos
with apostrophes between the D
and the... Girls, he's saying that
there are other people with the
apostrophe between the D and the A in the Dagestan.
Tom, are you saying...
I think I'm going to be sick. Are you saying...
Question mark. Are you saying
that every time I sing
Please Mr. Dagestino, I've been
singing to another man all this time.
Is that what you're saying?
That's what you're saying?
Are you saying that we're now on a level playing field
because I've basically been cheating?
Is that what you're saying?
Okay, fine, I made a mistake, but I accept it.
Tom, are you saying sitting on the dock of the D'Agostino
when I was singing in that in the Rockin' Sushi
that I was singing to a different D'Agostino?
Girls, I was singing to the wrong D'Agostino
in the Rockin' Sushi Roll Bowl.
All right.
So Benjamin Cohen asks, hey, fellas, every time I see Jim Edmonds and Lil Miss 30-year-old on TV, I wonder why in the blue fuck Jim proposed.
They have zero chemistry.
Megan keeps on saying that Jim is a romantic.
What do you think the proposal was like?
on saying that jim is a romantic what do you think the proposal was like
well i think that he probably proposed because she was working as a prescription salesperson
and from what we've seen from jim eyes he likes his oxy yeah so there's the why
um and with uh imagine the proposal okay who do you want to be jim or megan um uh i'll be megan who would you want to be who would you want to be in real life or for pretend in both
okay i'll be megan okay i'll be jim uh hey hey wow you're such a romantic saying hi to me
him hi hey hey wow you're such a romantic saying hi to me fuck off jimmy you're so funny you're so sarcastic that's what i love about you jesus christ lady just leave me alone trying to play
my golf like what do i gotta do fucking marry you you know like that's just the way marriage is like
sometimes your husbands want to play golf but like i'm here like trying to like fold napkins and like he doesn't understand that about me you're an idiot hey did you polish my golf clubs if you i swear i commit to you if you
didn't do that you commit to me oh my god i do i do they probably never even got married
he just asked his golf clubs he's's like, I swear to God.
Okay, I do.
Yeah, I swear to God, too.
We're married.
He was like, hey, waitress, could you marry these two catch-ups together?
Sure, I do.
He's like, look, I can only commit to being home for one day out of the week.
I'm in.
We're married on Sundays.
Okay, one last question.
Michael Horn,
I really like this question.
Michael Horn says,
if Alexis Bellino
had to do an on-the-scene
Fox 5 news report
about the dune buggy accident,
how would it go?
I just,
that's just the idea.
I think any time
anyone taps into
Alexis Bellino,
reporter at large,
it makes me laugh. Hi, I'm Alexis Bellino, reporter at large, it makes me laugh.
Hi, I'm Alexis
Bellino. Welcome to the news.
Wait, there's not an N, there's
not an S. That's not a
plural, new.
Hi, this is Alexis Bellino reporting
for Fox 5 News, and we're here at Glamis Dunes
where there's a report of a trampoline being
stolen and used to tip over a dune buggy.
I'm here on the site, and there is, in fact over a dune buggy. I'm here on the site,
and there is, in fact, a dune buggy that has turned over.
I see Tamara Judge.
She's lying on...
Oh, she looks like she's...
Oh, God, looks like she's been impaled.
Oh, no, no, no.
No, I was just looking at a cactus.
Okay, all right.
Thank God.
All right, it looks like the scene is under control.
Back to you.
I hope they're okay.
Stop crying. It's a dune buggy. I never understood the movie Dune. I hope they're okay stop crying
it's a dune buggy
I never understood the movie dune
everyone's so dirty
why would anyone get a car named after that movie
gross
I'm Alexis Bellino
thanks for watching
I'm Alexis Bellino reporting live from the Glamis Dunes buggy accident
and so far here's what we know
Vicky Gunvalson has been flown away
by a giant bird we don't know where Tamara is right now dunes buggy accident and so far here's what we know vicky gunvalson has been flown away from
by a giant bird we don't know where tamra is right now and right now the buggy is on its roof
we have no idea where the horses are all we know is that there is a there is a buggy without its
horses uh we will keep you updated if anyone sees any wild horses running around the dunes
please alert us as soon as possible thank you so so much. There is a reason that Jesus Christ invented pavement.
Because without it, your buggy is just going to go all over the place and crash.
Poor Tamara.
We're getting early reports that one of the reasons why there was an accident is that this dune buggy never had a roof in the first place.
And now we're going to be talking to the next dune buggy manufacturer we can find to find out
why this has been approved. Why
is this allowed? I'm on the case. Alexis
Bellino for Fox 5 and Action News.
Hey, Tamara Barney
is still alive. I guess this is the second
time this year she's lied about being saved.
This just in.
Heather Dubrow has an ache
in her lower back. We'll get you all the details as soon
as possible but for right now we know that she is in critical condition and jesus is being called
upon to save her at this moment unfortunately for tamra the desert doesn't bounce unlike mine
and jim's bouncy castle house what's her place called What's her trampoline park? Oh, our trampoline park.
The Bellino Trampoline Park.
I think they've been recently featured on Groupon.
Oh my god, that's a huge publication.
It's almost as big as Lydia's magazine, Newport Living.
Huge circulation, you guys. it's almost as big as Lydia's magazine, Newport living. Newport circulation.
You guys.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's close up this mailbag.
That was one of our more,
one of our more bizarre mailbags.
I'd have to say,
I think I was like,
really,
I'm already so caffeinated it was very difficult
for me to really focus i think i was just talking you know what's not bizarre ben these days it may
it may have been bizarre back in the old day but now something that's completely normal everyday
product is called boy brow ban do you know what that is um i believe i've heard
about it isn't it like um something cool for your brows it's like it's like brow pomade it's a brow
pomade okay you know how i'm lebanese and as i age i get like brow hair going all over the place
do not pluck your stray brows you guys keep them down you need a brow pomade, okay? Yeah, it's a game changer.
Yeah, it's the best eyebrow product
I've ever tried. Like, literally, besides
tweezers. Well, you know,
there's this new company called
Glossier. I don't know actually.
Glossier! Glossier! I don't know how new they are.
But they have this
boy brow pomade
and it really is being called
the best eyebrow product that people have ever
tried and you know why yes because it's no more complicated eyebrow kits or four-step brow routines
this is the only brow you'll ever need for thicker fuller more naturally groomed looking brows yes
and unlike eyebrow gels or mascaras boy brows formula. It gives you a soft, flexible hold, and it will never feel crunchy or stiff.
It's a makeup product you'll use every day.
A quick, easy way to frame your face and look more polished when you don't like wearing anything else.
You don't need to know how to do your brows to use Boy Brow because it's super easy.
Just brush your brows into shape using the tiny mascara-like brush.
Yeah, it comes in three subtle shades that work on everyone, blonde, brown, and black.
It's only $16, and I actually do use this.
Really?
They sent it to me, and I was like,
oh, well, this is ridiculous.
I'm never going to do this.
And I did it, and I was like,
this literally makes my eyebrows look good.
Brown master. this like literally makes my eyebrows look good which look on with internet products you never know okay something we've been pretty lucky we've had a lot of good products on the show but i listen to a lot of podcasts i'm like really
but this is one of the ones that normally i would say really and uh i'm kind of a boy brow addict
and also i like saying like you guys can you tell I'm wearing boy brow?
And people are like, no, but what?
And then I get to explain the whole thing.
Boy brow, I mean like, what are you talking about?
Like I brow beat you to do anything?
I don't brow beat you to do anything.
Like I just say like, come do something.
Like I don't have to brow beat you.
I don't have to boy brow beat you, okay?
Boy brow beating.
Stop boy browding me. Boy brow beating. brow beating actually we are gonna brow beat you to
use boy brow because um uh if you go to glossier.com that's g-l-o-s-s-i-e-r.com um and then use the
promo code which i believe is crappins um uh then um you get 20 off your first purchase okay okay hey don't let your
brows beat you beat your brows okay with void brow get 20 off your first purchase visit glossier
www.glossier.com and use the promo code CRAPPINS to upgrade your beauty routine.
And don't forget that's
G-L-O-S-S-I-E-R
Glossier.com
It's French.
It's like that French phrase
C'est fini.
What's that?
You know, like you always say.
What's that mean?
C'est fini.
What's that mean?
Glossier.com
C'est fini. Yeah, so it's awesome. What's that mean? Say Finney. What's that mean, Glossier.com? Say Finney.
Yeah, so it's awesome.
Make your brows look like Ronnie's.
So we've already started to mention The Real Housewives of New York City.
And why not get into it?
Part three of this epic reunion of an epic season of my favorite Real housewives franchise of all of them shall we this
has to be one of the consistently best seasons of any housewife show i mean i don't think there
was a boring episode in this entire season of real housewives literally not a single boring
episode this season is up there with i mean i mean how can i say it's up there this is i mean real houses new york city
has had so many legendary seasons season one was great in its own way season two with the bethany
and kelly ben simone thing was epic season three the jill zarin bethany fallout oh was that season
four i don't know everything amazing about this show and this one oh wow this season amazing yeah there have been
some really good seasons but i don't think there's been a season that's been this consistently
hilarious every single episode yeah and not even i mean they they could just be sitting around
getting pedicures but they're just hilarious like they pick the right ones to follow yeah i think it
was i think there was actually only one average episode there
was one episode where it was just a lot about vaginas and that was the episode we had brian
moylan come on and we were like sort of bummed because like brian moylan is so funny and so
smart and we had him on for like the weakest episode of the season but even that episode
was still hilarious yeah it was good times um so we opened this reunion talking about poor Sonia.
Poor, poor Sonia.
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do, Sonia?
Andy, we didn't get to see
Sonia's vaginal rejuvenation thing,
which was my favorite.
I think my favorite Sonia moment of the whole season.
Yeah, I thought where she went to get a what she get like a vagina lift.
I think so.
I like exfoliation or something.
It's hard for me to honestly keep track of who got what vagina treatment this season.
And she had that big fat doctor who was like it's like the third time i've
done it he's like i'm pretty sure he moonlights as the uh associate manager of melissa gorga's
boutique or maz the guy at the gym or if John ever got his own movie about dry cleaning or whatever, he would be the stand-in.
He's basically the Real Housewives of any franchise swing player.
Yeah, he's like the swing, mouth-breathing fat guy.
So, yeah, so they're talking about, it was the whole sonia segment of like oh she drinks too
much now she's going dry and now she's better than the tipsy girl thing yada yada yada oh god
and andy actually said so and sonia taught us that sometimes being dry isn't such a turnoff
oh god sometimes i wonder if he knows what he's saying
so he's like he basically was like um uh so he's like yeah he's trying to like support sonia after
he's like he's like sonny wow you were really seemed like you were so much clearer you'd never
look better he's trying to give like positive encouragement and then i love sony's response
he's like well i mean you know you know luanne could tell you this and everything i always quit
booze around the round the holidays that's why i always quit booze around the holidays. That's why I always quit booze. I'm like, what?
I usually start
drinking again in March
when I get back from cooking.
Or ready to, you know, get to San Tropez.
I'll start having another little drink again.
She's trying to pretend she's so fancy.
And then they just
keep cutting to Bethany's horrified face.
Jesus.
I don't understand.
You don't drink at the holidays?
What are you drinking?
You think that eggnog has nothing in it?
It's got your tipsy girl brand in it.
It's like tipsy girl eggnog.
Honestly, it's too much.
Too much.
Luann.
Well, I would just, I for one would like to say congratulations to Sonia.
I mean, here you are.
You've been a drunk, a drug addict.
You've been divorced by some old person and left to rot in a
hurricane katrina house you've been dragged through the streets face down you've been dumped
by teenagers you can't afford your own pencils god forbid you can't even get pickles out of
you know italian jail just listening all this horrible shit
that Sonya's gone through.
And the Luan Award for Greatest Luan
Performance by a Non-Luan goes to
Sonya Morgan.
And the Luan Award
for You Should Have Committed Suicide
Five Seasons Ago, yet here you
are, flopping around on the deck
like a fish out of water, yet
still able to find a drink somewhere.
Sonia Morgan!
Congratulations, Sonia.
And then,
so then Andy's asking
Sonia about the whole
situation with Bethany. And Bethany was like yelling at her.
And Sonia's like, well, you know,
I wasn't mad, you know, because
she was feeling pain. And I understood that.
That's the way she expresses her pain.
That's just her pain.
And then this, of course, that made Dorinda mad.
Dorinda's like, oh, well, but then I don't invite you for one night.
One night I don't invite you.
And it's like, oh, I'm the worst person in the world.
Dorinda's very good.
She's getting very good at turning everything back around to her.
Yeah.
Like, this was the biggest fight of the season.
Can they let it breathe, Dorinda? She's like, can they let let it breathe dorinda and i stand by that i stand by that that i was in pain too
politician dorinda sorry i still want to see these guys it's leaving but it's still there
it's still there um i love during this you, they kept showing all these montages and stuff.
I'm like the poor Sonia montage when they went to the Mohegan sun or
whatever.
Yeah.
That was just my favorite because they show Sonia and Ramona trying
really hard to have fun in some like lobby bar.
And they're playing with their,
they're playing with their glow stick lightsaber things.
And Ramona goes, look at us we got moves
next stop boutique yeah that was amazing it's like yay the glory like why would that ever
inspire anyone to become sober like see when you get when you get sober you can like dance at an empty casino bar it made it made brianna's trip to las vegas with her friend four seasons ago
look exciting we got moves okay we got legs and we know how to move them okay oh so yes somehow
in sonia's mind she's made the whole bet Bethany ripping her apart on national TV and sob.
And then the awkward walk into the elevator, which we also didn't get to see.
Well, didn't expect that, girls.
Waiting for the elevator.
And then what did she say in the elevator?
She said something like, what, now I can't make dishes because Luin's got dishes?
She said something like that.
Now I can't make dishes. You know, I feel like people need to remember that that was the same episode where Ray burst onto the scene and screamed at John and Sonya.
I mean, that was really, I think, that may have been the best episode.
Well, no, Berkshire's was an instant classic.
Okay, so the Ray episode was probably second best of the season because you have that amazing just teardown of sonia by bethany which was so nasty
and awful that was that it was actually like iconic and then you have ray i mean wow this
season is just epic so so good so sonia's turned all of that into somehow liking bethany now
because you know she's not being yelled at she had her pain yeah yeah and you know she sat in bed with
bethany like bethany finally forgave her and she's like bethany did nothing wrong okay she was just
being honest and then dorinda's like screaming and yelling because she got in trouble which
dorinda can say whatever she wants i love dorinda and i'm so glad she's on this show but she was an
asshole she was she's you know she's acting like well, you were mad at me for that one party.
Yeah, but you did that to appease Bethany.
So it's like Sonya is trying to appease Bethany now
by not starting another fight.
And you were appeasing Bethany then by not inviting Sonya
because Bethany would have made a huge deal out of it.
So now you're trying to start a fight with Sonya
because she's appeasing Bethany when all of this started
because you were appeasing Bethany when all of this started because you were appeasing
Bethany. Come on!
And honestly, they kept on
using this logic of like, oh, it's
one night. It was one night
and it wasn't even a good night. It was only one.
That's a separate point.
It's not about the duration.
It's about the fact that you invited every single person
in the cast except Sonya
under the guise of this patronizing, like, I don't think it would be healthy for you thing.
It was insulting.
Dorinda, I love you.
Like, I really think you're one of the best things that's ever happened to Bravo.
But in this case, it was insulting.
Even if you claim it wasn't from a bad place, you have to at least accept the fact that it was hurtful
whether or not you intended it so then the good stuff and i stand by that i stand by it
so then the really good stuff started coming out of this fight when sonia's like
here's what i want to know who told bethany in the first place that i had fake businesses
and what about the other friends? And then you hear Carol
go, no one had to tell us.
We all have newspapers.
And she's like, what about the other
friends that signed that contract? I have
photos with Ramona Singer
signing that contract at lunch with Peter
and emails upon emails upon
Ramona going to bring the tipsy girl
to the beach so that she can start promoting it
and then Bethany's like what what I didn't
hear about that
she's like oh
you mean are you saying I could have yelled at Ramona all this time
like I could have had a scene where I could have yelled at Ramona like
how could you deny that for me like literally like I'm gonna cry
like honestly my wallet's going up right now the fact that you like left that
out for me like that's honestly a betrayal like this is new to me
like I was fine coming into this I was fine but now I hear
this and like it's a new wound.
Honestly, I'm going to cry.
Kill me now.
Kill me now.
Take me away and kill me now.
Bethany lies enough to run for politics.
She really does.
She just lies.
I wouldn't call it a straight face.
It's a wonky face.
But that's also her face when she tells the truth.
She's a housewife.
Yeah.
And I love her. By the way, we've been ragging on Bethany so much because she was really so deranged this entire reunion.
But I love her now.
I really, like, I love Bethany.
I love everyone.
I'm, like, on everyone's side on all these fights.
Yeah.
Yeah, Ramona, yeah, it came out Ramona was supposed to do Tipsy Grill first, which I think we had heard about beforehand.
Yeah, we talked about it here on Watch What Crappens.
Yes.
And Ramona's like, listen, okay, Peter did approach me about it, okay?
But then I looked at it, and I was going to do it.
I was going to a divorce.
I was very fragmented.
I was so sad.
I didn't know what to do.
I wasn't thinking straight.
And then I was like, wait, hold on.
This is too much like Bethany's brand, and I don't want to do that to her.
So I said, okay, you better stop now, Peter.
Take it to Sonia, because she's dumb enough to do it.
Yeah.
So signing all these contracts and then planning all these events where she's going to get this thing on camera and all this stuff going on.
And then she goes.
And then one day I thought, wait a second.
The name Skinny Girl, Tipsy Girl.
It's like too close.
Like it just hit me one day.
No.
It's like, close like it just hit me one day no it's like wait a second so i would love to know what really happened there did peter just you know like not bone her right
one day because there's got to be some weird reason that she suddenly stopped all this
and then she's like sonia you're broke why didn't you do it? Peter likes you. You could just do it.
It's called Tipsy Girl.
It's like Bethany's thing, but different.
She won't be mad.
I like to think that it was not because Peter stopped boning her.
I like to think that it was a revelation that came through in some sort of like Brian De Palma way.
You know, like the scene in Carrie when the bucket of blood's about to fall over.
It's like the slow, like 10- minute long thing of slow motion of seeing things and like ramona's in time square one day and she sees a pigeon the pigeon flies by a lamppost and the
lamppost looks slender and she's like that lamppost is skinny and the lamppost starts to fall over and
it's gonna tip over oh my god skinny tipsy skinny tipsy skinny tipsy and for like 10 minutes she's like
having this moment the music's like
i would love that like a big ramona if we're gonna keep it brian de palma i'd like to think
it's more like a snake eyes where you know you're you're there you've got your ticket and then you
just realize suddenly this can't be a good idea.
Okay.
And then you just run out of the theater.
You just leave your popcorn on the seat.
And Nicolas Cage shows up.
And then,
or maybe she just like shows up to Sonia with like the tipsy girl
prototypes.
And I was like,
say hello to my little friend.
Okay.
I wish I'd seen more Brian De Palma movies so i could make more references but i've
really only seen carrie and i think yeah i'm actually completely out didn't he make by
bonfire the vanities too wasn't that a brand of palma film uh he might have but i never saw that
and i never i actually never saw scarface i never saw carlito's way i never saw Carlito's Way. I never saw Snake Eyes. And, I mean, at this point, I mean, what else is left?
Wow, Ben.
I think he had some others in the 80s.
Maybe I never saw The Untouchables.
I'm sorry, Mr. De Palma.
Oh, my God, Ben.
He's like, well, I'm unsubscribing to this podcast.
He's like, fuck this.
He just, like, pulled over to the side of the road and was like, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete.
He was about to press, like, the $ oh well never mind then forget my super sponsor yeah no but yeah i can
but the funny thing is from the iconic scenes of brian de palma movies like the opening from
the untouchable not the opening but like that famous staircase scene from the untouchables
wherever like there's a shootout
and a baby is going,
baby carriage is going down those steps.
I can totally imagine that.
I can imagine that happening
in Ramona's life.
Like, there was a shootout
and then a baby came
tumbling down a staircase.
I mean, it was crazy.
Okay?
Okay.
Like someone saved the baby, okay?
I love when Andy goes, Andy sums it all up by going, yeah, Sonia, I mean, she's quit drinking and this and that.
All of you must have had so much respect for Sonia that weekend at the Mohegan Sun.
Which no one has said about anybody going to the mohegan sun ever
weren't you guys filled with respect at that person at the mohegan sun
so now so now like dorinda and sonia are getting mad and uh this is when dorinda is saying like
you know like i did that in love and that's when she goes, say Finney.
As Luann would say, say Finney.
And then Luann goes, yes, say Finney.
And then Ramona goes, say Finney.
What is that?
What is that?
What's say Finney?
What is that?
Say Finney?
Are you telling me I should say Finney?
Okay, Finney.
My cousin Finney?
Like, I don't get it.
I'm not going to say Finney.
It's so boring.
It's just like music playing.
Like, people in ball gowns.
Like, what?
No, it gets French, Ramona.
Well, I'm sorry.
I never learned French, okay?
I learned Latin, and that's a dead language, okay?
So I really only know one language.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
People say that Latin's a dead language.
Well, not if you've ever been on a subway, which I haven't.
There's so many Latins on the subway, okay?
The language may be dead, but Latin dancing is still alive and well, okay?
How could Latin be dead when there's an entire country called Latin America, okay?
Latin may be dead, but you can never kill the macarena okay
we got moves if latin's so dead why do we keep saying etc okay
i'm sorry i'm sorry it's not dead i love that you're so intelligent that you make
real housewives smarter i was a latin a Latin. You can't help it.
You can't help it.
I'm sorry. You just sent Ramona
to college, basically.
Winnie,
Winnie,
Witty, Weegee, okay?
I came,
I saw, I conquered,
and then I gave Tipsy Girl to Sonia, okay? Whoa, this is crazy. This reminds me of a Latin class when I was younger, and I came, I saw, I conquered, and then I gave Tipsy Girl to Sonia, okay?
Whoa, this is crazy.
This reminds me of a Latin class when I was younger.
And I said, this is a great language.
And then Geraldine Parsons-Smith came and said, well, guess what?
It's dead, okay?
And to this day, I still have never been able to speak Latin with anyone.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
All right, everyone.
I apologize.
I mean, this coffee is beyond beyond well now now they all take
credit for sonia sobriety and dorinda's like me leaving out sonia from coming to the butchers
that night that's why sonia is sober now okay we're the ones who started the trend ramona's like
yeah like without us she'd still be drunk she'd still be under it under a teenager some
way downtown not knowing how to get home okay we're the best interventionist ever so i love
this is around the time when sonia whenever sonia realizes she has a chance to be sad about
something and like has a chance to like be in an argument and like make people feel bad for her
she just goes for it and she's like now she's like oh how do you think it made me feel
i wasn't invited i think it made me feel huh huh huh and she starts to cry and then that's when
everyone's like it was one night sonia one night and actually sonia had such a funny funny line
when they were saying you know it just wasn't a good environment for you it wasn't good she's like
oh well i was invited to a dry cleaner. I guess that was a better atmosphere for me.
I love when she does that. Like, what does
that make me? Soft-boiled?
So I guess
the dry cleaner party was healthy. Okay,
Ben. And then
Dorinda starts getting offended by that. It wasn't
a dry cleaner. It's a business with 80
employees and a lot of Febreze.
I think she was referring to the fact that there were drinks everywhere but no one really got it they were like we call dry cleaning
is dangerous geez none of that's proven oh god you rather die early from fumes or walk around
with the wrinkles right what i always sell john And by the way, Sonya was absolutely correct.
Because whether she was referring to the fact that there was booze everywhere at that party and fighting there,
or whether it was referring to the fact that it was like, oh great, I get invited to go to a dry cleaner party as opposed to Berkshire's, that's insulting.
She's right on both counts.
Yeah, she is.
And when she goes, and that doesn't even make sense she'll invite me to a
dry cleaning party and bethany goes yeah it's because john knows how to clean up messes
she's like get it get it everyone get it get it and he's like ha ha
and sonia's not having it because she's decided she's gonna fight with dorinda no matter what
and if dorinda isn't gonna fight with you she's not going to fight with you. She just smiles and kind of shakes her head back and forth.
Because I love you Sonia.
You want a sandwich?
Make a sandwich.
And so Sonia does her walk off thing.
At this point you're like.
What are you even doing?
You just know she was going to do it at some point.
And it's hour 13 and shooting.
She's like that's it.
I'm going to walk off.
I don't even care.
And she gets up to walk off. And she goes i don't even want to be part of this show until
she admits that she doesn't care about my feelings yeah and she doesn't even walk off because she
knows that yeah don't fire her ass you know they don't care so instead of walking off she just
stands behind bethany's couch yeah she basically goes about five feet so she doesn't even make it
to the dressing room she doesn't even do a proper
walk-off. She just sort of
wants to stretch her legs a little bit.
Sonia's like,
you're sorry? Okay, I'll
come back. Great walk-off,
Sonia. Great walk-off.
Lovely dress, though, which is her own.
So then, finally, once
Sonia settles down,
it's time to dive into miami so first they are
rehashing bagatelle and ramona not joining for sandbar and all this stuff whatever so we see
this whole clip package for that and then i have a note that says jules says something so i guess
jules had a thought um and then oh well the only thing that she said um and it was a moment but the only
thing she said that made a moment was when uh they were saying so oh and he was like luanne
were you worried about bringing two women that had dated tom on the boat where you were celebrating
your relationship with tom and luanne goes oh i'm so secure i didn't even think about
it twice it was totally natural it was you know blah blah blah and jules goes oh andy come on
two of my bridesmaids were two of michael's ex-girlfriends it's like oh jules yeah you
should have seen the signs she's saying it like yeah you see what's the big deal
poor jules and we also learned by the way along
those lines that jacques is going to the man's wedding oh lord surprising to me i have to say
poor little guy's gonna be like that cute little like two-year-old that walks down throwing the
petals it's a big flower flower girl it's to be like the hairy little baby walking down the aisle.
And everyone's going to go, aww.
And then he's going to get, like, confused and stop dropping the petals.
And everyone's going to be, like, making pantomiming.
No, keep dropping the petals.
Keep dropping the petals.
And he'll wander off.
And then everyone will laugh and smile.
Little mini Balki.
Bless his heart.
Balki Schwimmer.
So, then they're talking. You you know sonia says she's embarrassed
about she's really embarrassed about like making catty comments about the land's ring and the yacht
a murky there she is with the murky little yellow diamond i mean compared to the diamond i had and
she lifts her finger and i'm like you do not even have a diamond girl did that get repossessed by
the old man he probably sent some assistant over there
to peel that thing off of her finger.
She was referring to Lou Diamond Phillips.
Call back.
Call back.
I'm very good friends with Lou Diamond Phillips.
We met in Saint-Tropez
when we were entertaining the Nigerian football team.
Lou Diamond?
My Lou Diamond Phillips has been in way more movies
than her murky yellow diamond.
My diamond has
expressed courage under fire, if you know what I'm
saying. And then she
just to remind us that she's classy,
she's like, I
need to just be bitch slapped or whatever
it is that you girls do.
You don't do that in the croquet.
So we don't do that okay so basically Luan's like oh this is terrible blah so then do we switch over because everything is about Luan even though it's the same thing that goes nowhere every other question is like so Luan
faking it or not yeah because now it gets to this whole – actually a really stupid argument about Village Idiot because at one point Bethany called Dorinda, what are you, like the Village Idiot?
Like what's going on?
Which to me was like a nothing.
Like when that happened during the season, it was a nothing.
So when Andy asked it, he – I mean he knew what he was doing.
He knew he could ask a question about the stupid phrase Village Idiot and it would get Dorinda in a tizzy.
And now it's
like dorinda's mad that she was called the village idiot and that's when bethany says well you know
it's like i you know like i like they asked me about my opinion you know opinions are like
assholes we all got them well that's an asshole opinion yeah which was a funny response bethany
when she called her the village idiot that didn't make sense in the first place yeah like it didn't
really make any sense but she says uh well you did end up being the village idiot. Like, you were the last
one to know. You were the last one to know
everything. That's like the village idiot.
Uh, not really, but okay.
Yeah. And she just starts going,
you're defensive today. Like, you're very defensive.
And Dorinda goes, oh, so
it'll be the last, you know, village idiot
Bethany will ask me not what it is,
okay? How about, how about
that's not what a village idiot is? And she goes, okay, well then define the village idiot. What is, okay? How about, how about, that's not what a village idiot is.
She goes, okay, well then define the village idiot.
What is it then? She goes,
the village idiot walks around like
vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom, vroom,
vroom, vroom, vroom,
and it's like, an idiot is not
me, and I'm not from the village.
Like, you're trying to make me look
local and dumb.
I loved how
so technically this is what Dorinda actually
said. She goes, a village idiot
is someone that's an idiot that's
very local that walks around like
da da da da. And I love
like the idea that
if the idiot was not local
it would be a totally different concept.
Like, very local there i'm a very
local idiot i'm native all right like you can't it's not an out of town idiot it's someone who's
there and is like so local but also by the way when when bethany said that thing like you're
very defensive today you're're very, very defensive.
I love when Dorinda just goes, oh, okay, Bethany, thank you for your psychological analysis.
It was like a great dismissive retort.
Oh, Bethany.
It's from literature, okay?
It's from literature.
So if you don't get it, good luck.
It's from books.
And she goes, oh, yeah, it's from literature?
All right.
Well, someone tell Sidney Sheldon, because he's never told me.
What do we
got here? Bethany Shakespeare? Is that what's
going on? I ain't no
Mary Higgins clock.
She never said that.
Thanks a lot, Milton.
Basically, Andy
is just trying to make it look like
he's going for bethany because
everybody's been giving andy so much shit for kissing his ass because they're friends which
obviously he does like it's not a huge secret uh so they're like go after bethany so this is his
way of going after bethany without having to really mention you know the fact that she's
fucking a married dude etc etc etc and you know by the way this is it was such a non-issue the
village idiot thing that bethany could have been like oh you cetera, et cetera. And you know, by the way, this is, it was such a non-issue, the village idiot thing
that Bethany could have been like,
oh, you know,
I just meant that like,
you know, it just seemed
like she was naive.
Like, I don't know,
maybe it was the wrong choice of words.
That's all she had to say.
But instead she's like,
well, she's a village idiot.
And I was like,
well, it's from literature.
You don't know,
have you read every Chaucer before?
You ever read Chaucer?
Like, like literally,
like kill me now.
Like honestly,
like you've never had English lit.
Like honestly,
like, like what,
you didn't even know what a book is.
Like you've never read my book.
Like I have like 10 books.
The fact that you're not reading my books,
like honestly,
like kill me now. Like honestly, like take me to Barnes & Noble, knock a a book is. Like, have you ever read my book? Like, I have, like, ten books. The fact that you're not reading my books, like, honestly, like, kill me now.
Like, honestly, like, take me to Barnes & Noble, knock a bookshelf over me, and just let me just drown in books.
Literally, kill me now.
Yeah, it's from a Bethany Frankel book.
It's from Letter Trucker.
And then, just to follow up with another stupid question that means nothing, Andy's like, remember that fight with Carol?
Oh, God.
It's like another time. Bethany's like, we're not so close. Like, look, we God. It's like another time.
Bethany's like, we're not so close.
Like, look, we fight.
She's like, you're late.
I'm so sorry, Mom.
Sorry I'm late.
I mean, what's the big deal?
So I took a long time to get ready.
You can't.
No, no, it's rude.
I don't care, Bethany.
Shut up.
And then there was talk about, is Carol different when she's around Bethany or not?
And Carol's like, I'm always the same person.
Like, I don't change.
I just love Jules.
Jules, of all people, just goes, no.
No.
No, Carol.
It's like, no offense, but your personality drains, Addie.
I'm the same wherever I am.
For example, if I'm talking to the prince and princess on one way. And then when I go downstairs into Bryant Park
and I put paint all over my boobs
and protest with 20-year-olds,
I'm the same person.
No, you're not.
I give my personality five radishes out of five.
What was that protest called
when all the youth were protesting wall street occupy
wall street oh yeah occupy i loved when carol went down there to be with the occupy people
and she's like what they're protesting yeah like a super rich privileged woman who's done nothing
for where she is i mean she did have a job, but her fame and money and stuff comes from literal royalty.
She's like,
I'll occupy Wall Street too.
No, Carol.
Quiet over there, Razzaville.
Quiet over there, Razzaville.
So then the question is,
why did Ramona lie to Dorinda about Bagatelle?
And I love Ramona.
She just goes,
you know what? I'm at this point in my
life where I just want to live my life.
Okay? It's just easier for me to
lie about my life
than have to talk about it to Dorinda.
Okay?
Sometimes it's just easier, okay?
Because Dorinda, like, has a couple
of...
And it makes it very difficult to talk to her.
Hi.
What is this
question?
The question is another best. Do you browbeat
people?
What are you talking about?
Who does that? I don't do that.
What do you mean? How do you say that?
What do you say? I browbeat people? How could you say that?
What do I? Beat people? Brow people?
What are you saying? Actually, you say that? What did you just say? I bribe people? How could you say that? What do I beat people? Bribe people? What are you saying?
What are you saying?
What are you saying?
And she goes, actually, I feel like that's what happened to me because I'm hurt after you today.
Like these women are terrible.
Like I don't even know what's happening today.
They're bribery me.
Ow.
Yeah.
I was like, you know, Bethany, you're the last person to act like a victim in this situation.
You know, when she called Dorinda totally nasty and aggressive.
I'm like, Bethany, this is like your M.O.
You realize this is how you treat people every episode at all times.
You just come on at level 10,
and now you're upset that people are being nasty and aggressive to you?
That's what you get after a while.
If you're always coming full force, people are going to be like,
okay, fine, I'm going gonna come full force back at her and she's just
doing they actually say it to her in such a nice way but she her eyes she gets those popped eyes
and she's like i can't believe they talk to me like that like uh uh but when she said you seem
you seem angry today jarenda which is her which is how she's trying to stick everybody by saying
ah you seem so angry. Who cares?
First of all,
it's a housewives show.
And then Andy,
you know,
just to stick it to everybody. It's like,
you both do.
I mean,
with all due.
Yeah.
But Dorinda is basically like,
you know,
you're aggressive and harsh.
And when I hang out with you,
I feel bad about myself.
And she's like,
well,
yeah,
that's aggressive.
Yeah.
And basically the rest of it is,
as Andy says says it's
time for the big one i was like oh no we're 25 minutes in we're gonna spend another 35 minutes
on this i was shocked i i also had that same thing like wow like this is i thought it was gonna get
like you know two segments at the end but this is really gonna be half the show is the photo
the tom photo the photo and bethany's like i'm gonna be calm i'm gonna be
calm yeah yeah good luck with that bethany and andy is like these pictures where'd you get these
like i don't understand how this happens it's like you live in pine valley oh andy so now everybody's
gonna just play dumb with this like how did bethany get the pictures yeah bethany's like i
don't even know like i woke up at 2 a.m and i get the series
of pictures like it's like why because the person that was in that circle they were so shocked they
were just like so shocked like it was it was a shocking thing and then i got a series of pictures
like can you not lie for one second it was a series of pictures if that was true we'd have
like a moving gift by now yeah yeah it was one picture exactly and um and so it was all
this discussion about the photo and then um like i think that you know my notes are a little i was
a little drunk when i was watching this but um i think it was a boy bad boy um i think this was
around the time correct when luann was like why like, why did you wait until the end of the weekend?
Like, you know, instead you're asking these questions like, am I monogamous or whatever?
Was I, you know, asking like, why would you say I have an open marriage?
Why would you say da-da-da-da-da?
So then what –
They all say, well, you said you had an open marriage.
She's like, oh, I never said that.
And then they cut to her going, well, I had an open marriage.
Yeah.
So then they finally get Luann to kind of like, she's like, well, I mean, like, I didn't want to have an open marriage, but he wanted to have an open marriage.
And so, you know, we were basically separated at that point.
And I love that Bethany, like, Matlock over there is like, but you're married.
But you're married.
But you're legally married.
But you're married.
Well, yes, we were married.
But then he was having an open marriage.
So I called it separation.
But you're married.
But you're married. But you're married. But you're married.
But you're married.
But you're married.
Like, shut up, Bethany.
Not remembering that Bethany, because she said, but you were legally married.
Legally, you were married.
Oh, really, Bethany?
Do you not remember just having a fucking fit because people were pointing out that you're legally married and so is your boyfriend?
Yeah, I think that was her point.
I think she was trying to be like, you see how hurtful it is?
See how hurtful it is when people like hammer you on these things?
Like, whatever. Like, you're separated, but you're married. So it's not a big deal. I think she was trying to be like, you see how hurtful it is? See how hurtful it is when people like hammer you on these things?
Like, whatever.
Like, you're separated, but you're married.
Like, so it's not a big deal.
I think she was trying to do that.
I mean, to me, it was all semantics.
I mean, I think we understand the situation, right? Like, Alex wanted to hook up with other women.
Wasn't there like an Ethiopian princess he was hooking up with or something?
And Luanne didn't want to, so she was forced into an open marriage situation.
It's like semantics. separated open marriage the point is their relationship had crumbled right
well to me it sounds like he just cheated on her yeah and she was like what the hell you cheated
on me he's like yeah i need to fuck other people and she's like okay then we're you know just tried
to ignore it and you know she puts all these words on it later to make it look more normal
because she's luann and yeah i can't really tell anything that's not a lie because she's a real
housewife yeah but it seems like she was just trying to cover it up to make herself look better
not understanding saying an open marriage kind of makes her look like a hoe yeah and so then
bethany's just trying to bust her on this she's and she's going but you were married but you were
married i'm like bethany just give it a break like literally it just made her seem so petty and for a woman who who likes to act
likes to be above it all you know and be like you know and get annoyed that luann would be
petty with her but i'm like bethany you're being just as petty yeah and then uh when they were
saying when she was saying why didn't you wait with the pictures? And Luann's like, they just wanted to talk behind my back
and make me look like the village idiot.
Oh, good one, Luann.
Tie it in, Luann.
Tie it in.
Nice call.
You're going to be the village idiot?
How many idiots are in this village?
I mean, what sort of village is this?
I'm moving out.
Honestly, I'm homeless.
I don't want to even live in this place.
I just want to have no home in this village
full of idiots.
That's all.
Meanwhile, the village idiot restaurant has had a surge in reservations. I know. I don't want to even live in this place. I just want to have no home in this village full of idiots. That's all. Meanwhile, the Village Idiot restaurant
has had a surge in reservations. I don't know
why. That's the best free marketing.
There used to be a bar in
New York City called the Village Idiot, which was my absolute
favorite bar. It was on 14th
Street, and you could go in there and buy a
pitcher of Bud Light for $5 and eat
peanuts. It was amazing.
Well, we have the Village Idiot, and it is not like that.
It's fancy. It's a fancy yeah um so i actually thought luann won a point here because there was all this stuff you
know what you were saying like oh you just want to talk behind my back whatever and like no i was
trying to figure out like how to talk about that and that's when luann was like well basically
if you were a real friend you would have shown it to me privately
instead of splashing from the entire world.
But instead, you showed it to them,
and you had to laugh about it, you talked about it.
And, you know, it's like mortifying for me.
And why don't you just show it to Dorinda first,
because Dorinda was the one who introduced us.
She said it much more...
Yeah, this was hilarious when it turned into...
Luanne's whole defense turned...
Because Luanne doesn't have a defense,
except that you said
it on camera which was embarrassing which I don't know I guess well I think that is her argument
I mean I'm sorry to interrupt at first I I actually was like fine with the way Bethany
revealed it which was like you know I don't want to ruin a weekend I've got this this crazy thing
happened I gotta tell someone and I'll just tell Luann at the end of the weekend but then I honestly
felt like Luann had a had a pretty eloquent little monologue
where she just railed into Bethany,
and I kind of felt like her points were extremely valid,
where she said, like, you could have just shown me this privately.
You didn't have to show it to them.
Well, yeah, that's her thing.
But then when she turned it into, you should have showed it to Dorinda,
because Dorinda, I'm close with Dorinda.
Yeah, that was stupid.
I'm not close with her.
And Dorinda goes, yeah, but I'm close with Dorinda. I'm not close with her and Dorinda goes yeah but I'm
close with her.
Yeah Dorinda and you're also the one who
can't keep a secret and then takes what everybody
tells you and twists it and then
foists it upon somebody else.
That's true too.
You have your own segment called the shit stirrer.
Yeah but there is
a shred of logic to that which is like don't show it
to like Ramona.
Go to Dorinda, who knows both parties and might have some – I don't know.
There probably was no good way to handle that situation, to be honest.
No.
I think if Luanne just quits while she's ahead and says, you should have told me that in private.
Why would you go on camera talking about it for four days before you finally come to me?
And then, of course, the answer would be because it was your anniversary or it was your engagement party.
Like, what the hell am I supposed to do?
Like, come on the boat and tell you?
Yeah.
In which case, no, just tell me before or text me the picture.
And they're like, yeah, but we didn't want Tom to be able to lie.
But Tom still is able to lie.
Like, yeah, the point is, whether you bring it up on camera or off camera, she's going
to be able to lie and play it off or whatever.
So I don't know.
I don't know how you win because it's a TV show.
So they have to talk about it on TV.
But I don't think she should have blindsided her like that on TV.
And I think Luann is right that she totally was an asshole talking about it with everybody
first on camera, letting everybody have their say, and then trying to make it about yourself while you're pretending to cry and everything when you finally do tell it.
Absolutely.
And by the way, you know, you're talking about how Dorinda can't keep a secret.
I mean, look at Ramona.
Ramona immediately told Sonia.
So I think I don't think Bethany handled it in a terrible way.
I think she actually handled it in a fine way, but she could have handled it in a better way.
And I think that Luann,
you know, Luann, I think is just,
you know, she's over-dramatizing a bit,
but I understand why she would,
obviously I understand why she was upset
by the entire situation.
But as you said before,
Luann should have quit while she's ahead.
If there's one thing that Luann
has never been able to master,
it's quitting while she's ahead.
And she's been ahead so many times over all these seasons and can't stay ahead never has been able
to i mean when she did be cool don't be uncool she has never been more ahead in her life and
she immediately squandered that by going after carol with adam so you know but that was when
she was still kind of drunk and just like fuck some married guy on
the balcony and like doesn't really didn't even really know what she was saying you know she
stumbles into being ahead right um i also like that during this um bethany then bethany is like
gonna leave too she like gets up say i can't i'm not i can't describe like well like if i have to
like describe again like why why i asked luanna why she's monogamous like i can't like i'll answer
too much i'm like just to settle down bethany just and i kind of i'm kind of she's ridiculous for getting up but
and then she's another one who can't even walk off she just did a turn in the set back down
it's like nice uh nice turn weirdo community theater dancer but um the the thing that's the
most annoying to me about this is they're mad at each other instead of the man. Exactly.
The man is the one making out.
None of this really had to do with Bethany anyway.
So it is kind of obnoxious that she had to talk about it and defend herself and do all this stuff over it.
Luann's being delusional, staying with the guy.
But yeah, it's really none of Bethany's business.
And I do actually understand Bethany's frustration because she had a reason.
She was like, okay, if you guys have an open relationship then it's fine and this is no big deal and and i asked this
because you mentioned before that you have an open relationship but the way i kept on doing this
thing of like well i mean of course we're monogamous we're getting married could you
believe it we're getting married would you believe it so i can understand why bethany's like i
literally can't deal anymore but she's also overdramatic herself yeah it was kind of a downer way to end it because they've already talked about it and
fought about it so much yeah it's making me crazy like can we bring maybe john on for a minute
but you know bethany i mean finally actually bethany and luan did start to get to more of a
um clear-headed place where they're a little bit more emotionally open.
And Bethany was like, look, I didn't know what to do.
You know, it's like a crazy situation.
I didn't want to pop your bubble.
You're having a great weekend.
I didn't know what to do.
And I'm like, finally, just say that.
Like, that's just the perfect way to say it, you know?
Oh, she's exhausted.
So she finally gives a decent answer.
Yeah.
And then Luann also was like, like Yeah Luanne says she was embarrassed
And devastated by Tom
And then this is when Dorinda
Starts describing her weird
Phone call that she got from Tom
When he tried to cover it up
Oh yeah yeah yeah I forgot about that part
Where basically Tom's just calling everybody
Threatening them
And it also dovetailed nicely with Sonya's story
Of Tom coming up to her and being like.
Well we would really like you at the wedding.
But you're going to keep up with this story.
Calling everyone to threaten him.
With not coming to the biggest wedding of the year.
Yeah.
The off brand D'Agostino wedding.
The not a grocery store magnet.
Wedding of the year.
Yeah.
And then she's like. Well he was doing that for me. He was just trying to help me. the not a grocery store magnet wedding of the year. Yeah. So, um,
and then she's like,
well,
he was doing that for me.
He was just trying to help me.
Uh,
that makes no sense.
But now,
so now,
even though there was a clip of Luann saying like,
don't,
if you,
if this happens again,
like,
don't tell me Luann now says,
well,
actually I would like to know.
I just was in a mental wreck that day or whatever.
And so then Bethany was like, I can't win. I can't win. That was like the most tactful I've been all season long. I was so tactful. And I still like to know. I just was in a mental wreck that day or whatever. And so then Bethany was like, I can't win.
I can't win.
That was like the most tactful I've been all season long.
I was so tactful.
And I still can't win.
From now on, I'll be like, shut the fuck up.
Like, honestly, I can't.
Like, what's the point of tact?
I literally did nothing wrong.
It should be called not Tic-Tac-Toe.
It should be called Tic-Tac-No.
Because I have no tact anymore.
Because honestly, there's no point.
I literally can't.
Tic-Tac, I'm not even telling you the rest because I don't want you to cry and get offended
and make me look like an asshole on national tv how about that
yeah how about that how about this like you put down an x i put down a nothing like i'm not even
gonna play tic-tac-toe with you anymore like literally it's like the worst game like what's
even the point of it like we're putting x's and o's like what's what's the fun of that like great
oh and then ramona keeps making this look like
and she's like are you sure are you sure you'd want to know luanne like if he was
doing that again to you are you sure that you'd want to know the win the win are you sure yes yes
i would so andy's like uh bethany i think that uh she knows something yeah well andy goes i feel
crass asking this which is coming from me yeah he goes it's a lot coming from me. Yeah. He goes, it's a lot coming from me.
When he says I feel crass, that's code from saying I'm so excited to ask this.
I feel so lucky asking this.
Ramona, do you know something?
You seem like you know something.
No, no.
Those assholes, they made it look like for a week that ramona had all this information
and she's giving that crazy eyed look but no that was just ramona giving a random crazy eyed look
and i think she has no information but i think she was playing coy on purpose because she wanted to
make luann feel suspicious yeah and she's like no no i was like wow way to pay it off bravo
been showing that for weeks now and then they asked luann like
what would have like like what would have happened if tom had made out with someone in private would
that have bothered you as much she's like well that would have that would have bothered me more
because the fact that he did it in public shows he didn't know what he was doing he was so drunk
he didn't even realize it but in private that's more deliberate i'm like she is and i know this word is way overused on this reunion but
delusional just delusional she's just nuts at this point so andy tries to change it around and he's
like now let's say one nice thing about each other no no no wait wait wait wait wait before before that part uh he asks
he asks luann so what do you love about tom and she's like well you know we both have the same
sense of humor and love the same jokes and we love the same sports and uh you know we both love
calamari oh we really bonded over calamari and that's when ramona of course starts like poking
at her like well what about he's genuine? What about he's considerate?
He's thoughtful.
He's giving.
What about the deep things?
What about the deep things?
I mean, unless you don't care about the deep things, I mean, that could just be who you are.
Like Ramona, your husband shaves.
He does like a full body wax and bangs teenagers.
Are you really going to talk about deep relationships right now?
Now's not the best time, Ramona.
And that was Luann just like, oh, please, Ram please ramona just look at this one shut up carol i wasn't even saying anything
i'm just being myself ramona's so past aggressive that's just because you like the same sports
that's not why you marry someone but that's okay you know people like people get married for stupid
reasons too like luan and tom i support you you know there's a deep end of the pool and there's a shallow end
of the pool at the same but all in all a pool's a pool am i right it's like a baby pool but babies
just go in there and pee it's still a pool you can't hate a pool and then um they bring up the pirate again for some reason um about like this is the
most difficult thing i've ever gone through in my life yes he goes more difficult than the pirate
she goes well that was bad she just goes that that was bad
so then then comes the then comes the part that you're talking about you know the group therapy part
that andy decides to do that was so funny he's like what is one thing you would have done
differently this season and jules is like i wish i would have and then tv 14 right over her head
and they just cut her out like bye bye she said i wish i wouldn't have offended people
if i did offend people like bethany it's
like oh no you're already fired moving on i know and then they have and then it ends with this
awkward group hug that bethany ignores it was like at the end of the atlanta reunion when everyone
was hugging nini except for candy when they had to say something nice about each other, Sony goes, well, I don't have a lot to say, but I just want to say I really like Bethany because I really like a basic friendship.
Yes.
What an odd way to end the season.
But thank you.
Yeah.
Ramona's like, I'd like to say, you know, Luann, a positive thing about you is you're happy with so little.
You know?
Like, you have such low standards.
I would love it if I had low standards, too.
Sonny's life in the pod, he's got the best coat.
Luann's like, the most positive thing about you all is that I want
you all to find happiness like me.
I'm getting married, girl!
The best thing I could say
is that I do believe that you believe
that I'm getting married. Would you believe it?
You do!
Bethany sitting
during the group hug was a thing
of beauty. Beauty.
Classic Bethany. Oh, so good. What's a group hug? a thing of beauty. Beauty. Classic Bethany.
Oh, so good.
What's a group hug?
Like, I don't get it.
Like, a hug is between, like, two people.
Like, what am I, the village idiot?
I guess I'm the village idiot now because I don't want a hug.
I'm sorry.
Well, last year when she got to rip everybody apart post-reunion, she was saying,
Oh, you see, we can even fight and then we just all go out for dinner.
That's how we are.
You know, you leave the game in the stadium, you know, and then the players go out to drink.
Like, no matter who wins, no matter who loses.
Tom and I love sports.
It's very different when you're on the losing team, isn't it?
Yes.
She probably doesn't think she even lost.
Wow, what a way to end a season.
I'm so sad that it's done.
This will probably be the one time I will watch a Secrets Revealed episode, assuming that they have one,
where I will actually be excited for it, because
really, any footage from these
women is great and
amazing. Well, I've got a secret.
I'm getting married, girls!
Would you believe it? They have secrets
on me and Tom. I mean, how rude of
them. I mean, why can't they just be happy for us?
Why do they have to reveal more secrets about me and Tom?
You should have let Dorinda tell me the secrets revealed.
Here's the secret that's revealed.
I've got ten more Santa Clauses in the closet.
Alrighty.
Wrapper up.
Let's move on.
But there are two things I actually want to bring up before we move on to our next thing.
Two little things.
First of all, today is Lisa Vanderpump's birthday.
So happy birthday, Lisa Vanderpump.
Darling.
Sorry for manipulating you into getting older, darling.
Also, while we were just talking about Real Housewives of New York City, our good friend Angie Thomas, who we absolutely adore, sent us a little gossip thing from New York Magazine.
And the writer of this article was talking about going to a party.
Allie Jones is her name.
And she said she ran into Bethany Frankel at the party.
And I think the title of this headline is, A Terrifying Encounter
with Bethany Frankel at Us Weekly's
Most Stylish New Yorkers Party.
So she details it.
It's actually pretty brief, and I don't think
it seems terribly
terrible, but
she says that
Bethany did not want to talk
to her at all, and that
this writer asked her about Bitch Sesh,
which is the other big Bravo podcast
that's out there with Casey Wilson
and Danielle Schneider, right?
And Bethany looked,
according to the article,
Bethany looked at her like she was mentally incompetent
and said, what happened?
Bitch something, the podcast?
What is she saying? I don't podcast what's she saying i don't
know what you're saying that's literally the quote i'm sure so which sounds so bethanyish and then
she goes so this writer then says i asked her about the rumor that she worked with producers
to prove tom cheated on luann this season um and bethany goes that would never ever happen on the
show ever i and then and then the writer says that she laughed nervously for about a million years.
And then Bethany's blonde 24-year-old assistant whisked her inside.
Who was laughing?
Bethany?
No, no.
No, the writer.
Because Bethany cut her down and she was so nervous about it.
She's like...
Oh.
She's like...
Of course not.
It never happened.
You know, being really aggressive right now'm just waiting for the elevator to come.
Yeah, being really aggressive.
What's the matter?
Well, I just clicked on this link, and it's the most fashionable New Yorkers.
And then they show Bethany in a whatever happened to baby Jane dress.
And also Frankie Grande.
Yeah, so there you go.
Sorry, you lose.
Again.
You lose again.
I know what this feels like to walk into a party and nobody even knows who you are.
So why don't we have a little palate cleanser between Housewives franchises and talk some Below Deck?
Well, sir.
Does that sound good for you?
Sure, Ben. some below deck well sir that sound good for you sure bian um so uh we'll just we're just gonna do
like a like sort of we're just gonna talk through it we didn't take notes we're just next week or
whatever we'll probably start taking notes on it but we can just go through the characters
i have to say kate chestane and i'm saying this without any bias because she's a friend of the
podcast and has been on here. She is so funny.
So funny on this show.
Yeah, she really is.
I love how she can just take anything down.
The big fight this week with Kate was toast.
Yes. It's all about toast.
Because for whatever reason, it's her job to make toast.
Why?
Why?
That hasn't really been explained in a way that I understand.
It's a job.
It's your job to make a toast, darling.
If they don't like the taste, it's all up to you, toast maker.
I've burned the toast three times this week already because I've had to use the oven.
And I'm not going to let it happen again.
Because Kate, of course, is like, well, I'm not going to make toast.
I'm Kate Chessian I don't make toast
So we're going to put the toaster down in steerage
So it's like who's going to bring back the toaster
Why are they fighting about toast
On the gluten free trip
Oh I forgot that barley has gluten in it
So many questions
So few answers
Oh and these charter guests are so hilarious.
The woman that's like the band leader.
What was that she said?
She was on the inflatable and she said something like, yeah, if you have like 12 oranges a day,
children who eat hot dogs, more than 20 hot dogs a year, get leukemia.
It's that serious.
I felt so bad for the big girl.
The big girl was like from the 50s.
In any movie from the 50s,
there's always like the chunky lady
who's the town gossip.
Like in every movie,
they're like, here's Eve Arden.
It's like all these models.
And then the gossip comes in.
She's like, hey girls girls have you heard what happened
with so and so
oh jeez
it's like Juliet's nurse maid
Romeo and Juliet
yeah pretty much
and this poor woman they were I mean she seemed so nice
but they also gave her such a mean edit
like in subtle ways
they really did they were so mean to her
they're like okay insert a clip of that girl putting something in her mouth yeah and then like when they were leaving
the the beach uh picnic they had the shot of her like rolling on the inflatable like they were just
like 10 people rolling her on up onto it it was such a asshole they were so mean to that girl
yeah but she was i mean she was and she was flirting with
well i think she was flirting with captain lee right she was like trying to get the captain yeah
yeah she's like i love you
too bad i'm on duty otherwise i might say something back and pat you on the head
for now i'll take your money and watch you leave with respect. Captain Lee actually, for the first time ever, laughed at something.
Because Sierra, the dumb third stew, served him coffee with a Splenda bag in it.
And he's like, look at this.
I don't think she's much of a domestic type.
Also, I like that they're having the captain come down more now they're like dude just come down
just sit in the galley and just watch what these idiots are really like because it used to be very
rare to see him but now they'll show him just kind of leaning on something in the galley watching
them and just shaking his head i know like our country's doomed like when kate and ben were
talking about balls and then Captain Lee is right there.
I'm like, huh?
Unless you guys are talking about rules.
I don't know if I'm into this conversation.
From Wondery, this is Black History for Real.
I'm Francesca Ramsey.
And I'm Conscious Lee.
What do most people think about when they hear the words
Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking
about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less
In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some.
As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others.
Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th,
or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on
Apple Podcasts.
Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries'
Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten
world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first
scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by
the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly
accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society
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Um, I just kept
writing, big girl still yapping.
Oh my god, they just kept showing
this poor girl. They'd be
like, oh, they're leaving scene.
They just cut to her going, huh, yeah, I was like really worried about it because like, you know, like this could be like oh they're leaving sea and then they just cut to her going huh yeah
i was like really worried about it because like you know like this could be like summer camp you
know like you're just going off with a bunch of girls you don't know what they're gonna do like
are they gonna put in your hand and hot water and then make you pee while you're sleeping are they
gonna like freeze your underwear are they gonna just like beat you up while they all laugh and
then go off and like not eat stuff but this has been so fun right girls and then they show the girls
staring off into space yeah they were like there were two girls who were like why the
fuck did i sign up for this i hate this get me off this yacht
which is not unlike in blow deck med when those like asshole older guys brought those women onto
the boat and they're like is this done yet um i also uh um i also liked
when kate said like i love i wish every guest were as obsessed with social media as these girls are
then i could just like stay in my cabin just tweet them that dinner's ready i like after the toast
fight when ben was like all right i feel better now so i'm feeling about toast you know every breakfast war eventually ends
but you know it's never over because there's going to be another guest someday that wants breakfast
i mean it's it's kind of amazing how how well kate handles ben because he
he does just go so batty sometimes, you know?
He gets so angry. It's the chef. What are you
going to do? I loved also
the Trevor stuff in this episode.
This guy... This was the
gem of the episode, yeah. This guy's troubled.
Like, at this point, there's just something
wrong. I need to know, is
Senior Deckhand a real
thing or not? I don't think it is.
Then why isn't anybody just saying Senior deckhand isn't even a thing?
Everybody's placating him and saying, okay, we know you're the senior deckhand, but you still have to be nice.
Why is that a thing?
Why doesn't anybody just say a deckhand's a deckhand?
Yeah.
Why?
Gosh, I don't know.
He is such an idiot.
I mean, he at one point is showing off his tattoos.
He's like, yeah, I got this tattoo of a squid because it reminds me that I like the
water and I got one of a toad eating a mushroom that says like don't be afraid
to be weird and you know look at toads and you know I got a I got a I got a
tattoo of like a pencil with an airplane which which says like, you know, you can erase your past,
but keep flying.
I used to really like the WB channel,
which is why I have this dancing frog.
Homeward space really changed me.
So his big story,
other than just being a general douche and bossing people around was that after the charter was over
they all go on uh they all go get drunk which they've always done on this show but on below
deck med they were like okay this show's boring let's have them get wasted again and became like
every show they were getting wasted um so this uh is kind of taking from that i get they they all go out and they get wasted
but no one gets as wasted as trevor because he's that ass who no one likes in the first place yeah
but then he shows up and he's like i'll have a long island hey i'll have another long island
oh the long island i'm like you're you're 24 trevor, I'm sorry. 24 going on 25. So, yeah, it's going to be pretty old soon.
Or going on 25.
Yeah, well, who says that?
So then he's like, yeah, I mean, honestly, once you're 23, you've kind of aged out of Long Island iced teas.
Although they actually are delicious.
But the fact that he kept on asking for Long Island iced teas I was just mortified even if he just ordered one of them
I was just embarrassed for him
I was embarrassed for
Long Island and it takes a lot
yeah he was getting drunk he was getting
belligerent and he was like can I buy my
boss a drink
your boobs are big
listen i got
a thousand dollars i don't i need to spend it it gets in the shower no one's a drink it's lanes
yeah like stop making me look at your boobs yeah everyone here hates me because by the way the
backstory uh leading up to this is that kelly did eventually tell him like hey man like you
gotta calm down stop bossing people around they have experience you gotta guide them you don't
have to boss them he's like oh i feel he's, I feel undermined. I'm so undermined.
I've never felt more undermined in my life.
So now he's acting out. Now he's drunk.
Yes. Well, at least we get to see
first episode, we got to see him
eat a booger.
In this episode, we get to see him white boy dance.
Oh my god.
Oh.
So everybody wants to go back to the boat, which is also a weird thing because they're like, let's just go back to the boat and party, which you're not supposed to do.
So why were they all like, let's go take a hot tub?
I thought that wasn't allowed.
I think I actually believe it's because he was so drunk and wasted that they were probably like, they would all rather as a group go back to the yacht than be out with him getting more and more wasted oh okay i mean that's what i would imagine that's
i've been in those situations before where the group is like you know what let's just all go
home this guy's getting too drunk yeah so they end up going back because he's being so obnoxious
and then kelly yells at him well and not just yeah no go ahead well it's not just that he yells at
me because the thing is they go into the hot tub And Nico hates this guy
Nico and the Australian girl
Hate Trevor so much
And they're at their wits end
You know, because on top of that
Once Trevor
You know, Trevor became
Totally passive-aggressive
So, like, he's been
We forgot to mention the fact that, like
During the beach picnic
Nico went out there
To set up all by himself
And Trevor was just, like like digging around in the yacht
because he's like well fine if he's going to say
you know I bought him a round then fine he can do it all
on his own which is so obnoxious
so Nico can't stand this guy
because also when Trevor came out
he didn't even help out
all he did was draw like beach picnic
in the sand
with sticks and then back at the boat
Ben's like how was your day and he's like it was awesome I sand so with sticks and then back at the boaties ben's like how was your day
and he's like it was awesome i made stuff with sticks yeah all righty then yeah great so then um
so then they are they'll get in the hot tub and when they're in there nico's already like
annoyed that he has to be in a hot tub with trevor and trevor's, yeah, so what's up with your tattoo? He's like, yeah,
I got it when I was 14. He's like, yeah, I can tell. The shading's
really bad on it. And he goes like,
fuck you.
And then that pushes him over the edge. Finally
he's pushed over the edge. He's like, I'm not even gonna
stay in here. Why do you gotta say stuff
about my shading? What the
hell, man? He's like, I was 14.
It was when I was 14. Like, why would you say that about
my shading? Guys are so stupid. It. Like, why would you say that about my shading?
Guys are so stupid.
It's like, you can take this much, but what finally pushes you over the edge is the shading comment on your shitty tattoo.
So then Kelly starts yelling at Trevor because of this.
He's like, just go to sleep, go to sleep.
But then Trevor, at this point, he's just drunk and insolent.
And everyone's talking about him. He's like, the gossip's about me isn't it you know there's a gossip about me so much all right it's like oh my god he's just
so beyond awful and this we didn't even talk about the fact that he's sitting early at one point in
the episode he's sitting with captain lee and everyone's cleaning the boat and he's sitting
there and he's like yeah just bought a 14 000 car he's sitting there and he's like, yeah, just bought a $14,000 car.
He's sitting there with the captain and Ben who were having like boss, boss relax time while everybody else is cleaning.
So he's just pretending he's a boss too.
He's like, yeah, just bought a car.
Yeah.
$14,000 truck.
And the captain was like, is this guy an idiot?
Is this a moron?
Like he should be there's
a yacht there's a yacht to be cleaned there's a yacht to be cleaned sir and you're buying a car
no sirree moron i like when trevor got mad at kelly for telling him off and he's like
yeah sure enough kelly has to blow it out of proportion like okay he's trying to be a father
figure but guess what my dad is my dad okay but of course leave it to kate you know kate knows
how to exact revenge on a douchebag and so she has him like clear out like shit from from the girls
from the toilet and he's like pulling it out and barfing everywhere and then that's when kelly's
like hey trev can you uh come to the aft deck he's like i'm busy that's when kelly loses it
i mean it's like every scene was like an
instance of trevor being a total douche i know i how long do you think it's gonna take for him to
get fired because he's not gonna make it through the season so well i think like two episodes two
or three episodes because the fact honestly that car buying thing doing that from captain lee
it's one thing to do it from kelly but he did it right in front of the captain and captain
hates that shit especially when they're like when then he like messages to nico and the girl owens like hey uh so i'm busy doing some uh figuring out some
accounting stuff as if it's like pertaining to the yacht in any way and he's like so uh you guys
just go ahead and just uh clean all the shit that i have to clean so bad well the need literally had
to clean shit suck it trevor suck it um but highly entertaining wow
i was like chuckling the whole episode there it is below dick below deck we love it um can't wait
for next week's episode i really can't i'm i'm really enjoying it um and now moving on you know
we're about to move on to real houses of Melbourne. But we've gotten a few messages about something.
And I think that it's something that we have to do because it's been a while.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
No.
Let me jog your memory.
How lucky are you to have me teach you about me?
We are the Flynn. How lucky are you to have me teach you about me? Clear the phlegm.
Clear the phlegm.
Clear the phlegm.
This will just be a quick one.
But Clear the Phlegm is a segment where we go on to Caroline Fleming of Ladies of London,
her Instagram, because she has the most ridiculous Instagram ever.
And two separate people tagged us
in a photo from
about last week.
It's a picture
of some yogurt with like
granola in it and a few things.
And this is the caption from Caroline Fleming.
Since boarding school,
I have loved mixing a fruit yogurt
with a whole freshly squeezed orange
juice and putting cereal on top.
The yogurt becomes so light and refreshing, and I think it's a perfect way to start the day.
Bonjour.
X, X, X.
That looks nasty.
Who does that?
But I love how she just, like, she tacks on this, like, flowery store.
Back in the boarding school days, I discovered this thing of putting cereal on yogurt.
It becomes light and fluffy.
And it's like, what are the dreams I'm made of?
Isn't it funny how my grandfather murdered your grandfather?
Isn't that the most delicious flavor?
Yogurt and cereal.
Oh, little phlegmy phlegm.
I'm looking over all of them.
I like this one of her pretending to eat something on a bun.
Because you know that didn't happen.
It's like one of those shots on TV where you never see a bite taken.
Only the pickle has been eaten.
But she's like, I would put hamburger in my mouth, but take it before I have to bite down.
They're like, okay.
It's like, also I'm wearing leather.
Wait, will you please read the one?
It's the second one that she's posted where she's standing in black pants.
And she's holding like a little, she's sipping from a, she's standing like holding a straw and a drink and next to her yellow bag.
I'm always trying to figure out what she's trying to sell.
And this one, it could be yoga pants.
It could be a purse or it could be a drink.
It could be a mirror.
You never know.
But she's always tagging somebody because she gets paid for her instas.
I'm guessing it's the purse, right?
I think so, but the caption is
just too precious.
Thank you, Dr. Mary Zamanu,
for making me look refreshed
and feel radiant when I haven't
slept properly in weeks.
Dash.
Topped off with a fresh lemon squeezed into water
with some fresh mint leaves and ice.
Dot, dot, dot, dot, space.
I'm going to go and enjoy a walk in the sunshine.
Dash.
Hope you all have a chance to do the same.
X, space.
X.
Oh, God, I love her.
Love her. So she is basically getting free doctor's appointments while drinking lemon water.
What the hell?
I just hope you all get to walk in the sunshine the way I get to walk in the sunshine, too.
How lucky are you to be able to walk in the sunshine like me?
Well, she stopped doing one of our favorite things though which i
do not approve of lady which is hashtagging everything because normally this would be
hashtag sunshine hashtag lemon hashtag bubble straw hashtag yellow purse hashtag counter
hashtag lean hashtag flip-flop. Hashtag toe and ankle.
You're right.
She has slowed down with her hashtags, which is a shame.
Oh, bless her. God bless her.
God bless her.
Clear the flame.
So let's move on from Copenhagen or London to Dubai.
For Real Housewives of Melbourne,
their trip to Dubai continues
and this
episode was the episode.
This was just one big
episode of fighting and screaming.
It was wonderful.
It opens with the same fight in Dubai around the
table, the
sit-down,
like the sitting on the floor table or whatever yeah
and there are turbines and stuff and pedofloor is just being a victim and gina just starts screaming
at her which is where we ended last time yeah and gina's like it's friendship 101 it's friendship
101 it's friendship 101 and betty's like oh oh, everybody hate me. Oh, no. Oh, no. They're just talking over each other.
She screams friendship 101 like 20 times.
Yeah.
And then Betty's like, I can't fucking handle this, okay?
Stop it.
Stop it.
And she goes, stop the fuck.
I don't know what that means, but it's hilarious.
And that they showed it like 20 times of her just going, slam on the table.
Stop the fuck.
Aren't you feeling ashamed of yourselves?
You women attacking one person at the table.
You ought to be ashamed.
It is deplorable and unladylike.
Don't you know I'm going through a terrible breakup with my son.
She's just like, I haven't said one negative thing
about you,
you stupid.
Yeah,
I mean,
Chica was getting
riled up this episode.
Chica's like,
am I not allowed
to get upset?
Am I not allowed
to get upset,
Petty Fleur?
What are you upset
with, Chica?
All I did was
compliment you.
Am I not allowed
to get upset
if you say something about me?
There, now you've learned a lesson. Let's have some tea.
It's like I've always said
since I was a little girl. You can talk
about me. You can talk about
Brucie. You can't talk about my lips.
Thanks for the
advice, Chica. These lips
don't lie, nor do they get brighter, okay?
Oh, but I think they got a little bit
brighter why would you say that what did she say could you make out what she said about her lips
because i said no i think she said oh chica it looks like your lips are a little brighter
i don't know hey dear she talked about my lips come on chica that's the thing you're gonna be
mad about with pedoflore i know you have so
many options why would it be that one and she's like pedoflore is like chica you are a grown
fucking woman okay you are a grown woman chica and gina goes bull fucking shit shut the fuck up i'm
sick of your bull fucking shit i've had enough of your indulge she's like I've had enough of your indulge. She's like, I've had enough of your indulge.
Bull fucking shit.
I love that she inserts a curse into another curse.
Bull fucking shit.
I'm like, that's just like amazing.
But that's also, this is right after Gina just goes,
And you need to snap the fuck out of it.
And Janet goes,
Go Gina!
Go Gina! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, Gina, go, go, Ross, it's goodbye Gina.
Isn't it wonderful chicken?
I wish chicken were here to see this.
Yeah, and so Gina's just like, I've heard enough of your bullshit.
Because her voice is now like shrill.
Because when she screams, she goes, she goes from this goes, I've heard enough of your boozha,
Padafloor. I mean, you want to get
out, you gotta listen to people, Padafloor.
Padafloor goes, well, I didn't listen
to a word she was saying.
Coming from Gina, this is rich.
Like a bitch. And then
she smiles and nods. I love when Padafloor
says something so stupid, but
then she smiles and like wink nods at us
like, get it?
No.
Yeah.
No, we don't.
And then Petaflora eventually lies down and goes, like, oh, Petaflora, oh, Petaflora, you're so rude.
So rude.
What are you doing, Petaflora?
Oh, she's lying down.
That's so rude.
I can't believe I've never seen something more rude.
I ain't gonna say she's being rude right now.
And, you know what?
I agree she's being rude.
Susie just shaking her head mortified.
She's like, so rude. So rude. Susie just shaking her head mortified. She's like so rude.
So rude.
I mean if I put a pavlova
there she would have crushed the pavlova.
So rude. Friendship
is how you make people feel and you make
people feel like bull fucking shit
and they're not going to be friends with you pedoflare.
Because everyone
cares for you. Mother you know we love that you're a good mother we love that
you've had such a nice long relationship with your son i mean we love that you dress ridiculously
and you're in love with yourself and you look like grace jones and the queen of the nile
but it was like what's this grace john? How could you? This is debilitating.
Is she saying that I'm jonesing for some grace, that I have no grace?
I don't get it.
That's rude.
And Chica's like, Gina, what Gina did right there was speak beautifully,
and that's why Gina's the barrister.
So then Gamble She decides
She's gonna change the subject
I'm gonna change the subject
I'm gonna sing a song
So I want everyone
Let me sing a song about the CWA
And then she
Was that like a
Was that like a parody of
Like a song from like
Bye Bye Birdie or Guys and Dolls
Or something
It sounded very familiar
I don't know
It was like
We are the women of the CWA.
We drink drinks and feel very high.
They're like,
Oh,
Gamble.
So funny.
Serving is required of the ladies of the CWA.
This is from when I studied opera.
And then I'm surprised that Petaflow is like,
Oh,
okay,
but no song for me. Okay, but I'm surprised that Petty Fleur is like, oh, okay, but no song for me.
Okay, but I'm used to it.
There was nothing that rhymed with Petty Fleur in that song, but it is okay.
You know, we stay by the ocean, which is full of waves, but there is no way for Petty Fleur.
And then Lydia has a philosophical question. She's like,
why is the Country Women's Association in
Turok? I mean, Turok's not a country.
So the next day, Chica,
Brucie, and BJ
are talking about
BJ. BJ went to Texas
to talk to people about
paperclips,
and then he was off to... Where was he off to?
He went around the world.
He was traveling.
He was off to Europe to have the time of his life.
How did you go to the youth hostels on your own there, BJ?
So I just went.
And Chica's like, you know, what you've done at 19 is extraordinary.
I'm like, like yes he was
a camp counselor that's great that way you traveled around the world with your parents money
wow hat on the back kid i think that chelsea has just really lowered the bar for achievements
they're like well you know chelsea's still shoplifting for macy's so you know the fact
that you're a camp counselor is pretty impressive to us chel Jesse managed to get out a fedora under
a pashmina. It's nothing to be proud of,
Brucie. Well, you know, Jesse
completed
her stamp card at Yogurtland, so
you know, the fact that you do me a camp counselor is
really impressive to us.
So since this is a basic Xerox
of the Real Housewives of Beverly, trip, trip,
trip, trip, trip,
it's a rehash of the
beverly hills vacay in dubai next is the sukes yes i just wish somebody got like a rat in their
pashmina or whatever like they did in that one yes they're walking through the souk and gambler's
overwhelmed so much to see here and she goes like i just divide everything by three and so um and then
jackie jackie's loving all the gold she's like before i got married i was a very wargy chicken
i love my gold i don't know what any of that means but okay i like that janet no matter where she is
just walks through everywhere doing the same thing she goes isn't the Middle East wonderful?
Isn't this amazing?
The Middle East.
And then Susie is talking about how she's still agitated by Petty Fleur.
I don't know why Susie of all people.
She was barely affected.
And then Janet is saying, well, you know what?
I'm tapping out.
I'm tapping out with Petty Fleur.
Oh, God.
It's what I'm doing. I'm tapping out. I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur. Oh, God, over and over. Here's what I'm doing.
I'm tapping out.
I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur.
I'm tapping out with Pity Fleur.
I'm tapping.
Tapping.
I'm just going to focus on chicken.
Tapping into chicken.
Tapping out with Pity Fleur.
He just kept saying tapping out over and over. And Susie's like, I couldn't sleep a wink last night.
I was so stressed about pedoflur i felt like i was a souffle that had been deflated for the cwi um and then lydia
and pedoflur are over talking about lydia goes and finds pedoflur suntanning by the pool and you
know lydia's actually trying to be nice, like checking in on Petaflur.
And Petaflur, of course, being dramatic,
she's like, I feel like I've been in a tumble dryer, spun out for
five hours and barely surviving.
Relax.
I like that she goes,
I feel like I've been through. And Lydia goes,
I thought I'd find you here. Can I answer?
Yes, yes, you're right. That's exactly it. She does her whole tumble dryer thing and Lydia Lydia goes, I thought I'd find you here. Can I answer? Yes. Yes.
You're right.
That's exactly.
She does her whole tumble dryer thing.
And Lydia's like, I don't understand laundry.
But what I was hoping was that she'd say that Gina was right.
And she'd apologize.
And she's like, I'm not going to be told.
It's a grown ass woman to change myself.
If I was going to change myself, I would change myself. If you were me, you would be talking about yourself too.
Because me is me and me is Petiflor.
Who doesn't want to be a Petiflor?
Lydia goes, you're unique.
I was like, yes.
And she got all precious about lip color.
I was saying it as compliments.
And then Lydia's like, you know, it's funny because last night when we were talking about blogs,
no one said, oh, well done, Lydia, congratulations.
I did.
I did.
I said, what blog?
I'm the quiet achiever.
Although I'm not really quiet and I'm not really an achiever.
Oh, you know what you're like?
It's like someone put you in the dryer and pressed permanent press.
And you're permanently a It's like someone put you in the dryer and pressed permanent press.
And you're permanently a blogger now.
Lydia, I've said to her before, your arrogancy bugs everyone.
It's your arrogancy, pedifluid.
What you really need to look at is your arrogancy. She just kept saying it.
And I was like, oh, what kind of friend are you?
Do you want to talk about arrogance?
She goes, no, I want to talk about arrogance.
I'm the one who got beaten up to a pulp.
No doubt of here.
What about a hug?
Why wouldn't you come to me and say, Petiflor, are you okay?
She goes, actually, that's what I just said, Petiflor.
I said, Petiflor, are you all right?
No. And you say it from over there you say are you okay from over there what about right here
where i am right here it's fine to do it from over there she's sitting right across from her
and meanwhile by the way the music is like comedic music that's playing they're not even playing like
serious like housewives fighting music it It was like, I just want,
I just want a hug.
And then they cut to Petifleur with a water bottle
and she's holding with two hands,
like a baby with her bottle.
She's like,
it was amazing.
Finally, Lydia gets mad and goes,
you're fucked.
That's why no one wants to talk to you, Petifleur.
What, what?
You want a hug?
Here it is. She's like, one wants to talk to you, Pettiflur. What, you want a hug? Here it is.
And she's like, fucking idiot.
And she goes, why don't you switch the bitch, Pettiflur?
And she's like, I don't want to be
interrupted.
Damn it!
It's like you opened up the dryer
in the middle of the cycle and then closed it
and then pressed start again so that everything just stayed wet.
And even though the timer went off, you'd think it's
done, but it's still wet inside. That's how
I feel, wet inside.
She's like the baby that just keeps
pressing the PowerPoint over and over
and getting electrocuted.
Don't you learn? I'm like, that's not
how PowerPoint works, by the way. Haven't you heard
about Abraham Lincoln and
how he fancied it? You think he went
out there and flew a kite in a marshmallow storm?
No. He learned.
And to this day, the reason
why I'll never get a job is because I don't want to do a
PowerPoint presentation because I don't want to be electrocuted.
And then after all this, they like kiss and say
goodbye and I'm like, okay, see you later.
She's like, okay, sorry I'm in a bad mood.
I'll see you later. And she's like,
you're a little pocket rocket.
I love that she's like a little pocket rocket that doesn't give a gobble gook.
And if you don't like it, you can bug her off.
What are you people even talking about?
I know that we're foreigners, but I don't even think the locals understand what the hell y'all are talking about.
Yeah, it's making no sense.
So then there's like a very long scene with chica
and her friend talking about flowers and the only thing that was remotely interesting about this is
that chica once made a dessert display that was like one and a half kilometers long so that was
that royal wedding um then you know we love to watch these we love to watch these shows because
it's all these super rich women spending all this money. And that's part of the fun of these shows.
But this, like being in Saudi Arabia, talking about royal weddings where women don't have equal rights and all the zillions of oil money that you're spending on these shitty weddings.
Yeah.
I can't.
I can't get behind that.
Sorry.
I can't.
But where did we get a peppercorn that color?
Anyone tell me?
Isn't that fascinating?
I'm like snooze.
So then the women go to the Sheikh Mohammed Center for Cultural Understanding.
And like if there's one thing that's never going to happen on this show or any of these Real Housewives shows, it's understanding.
So this is already a dumb trip.
But I actually really like this segment.
I thought it was really fun.
And I felt like I learned a little bit.
liked this segment i thought it was really fun and um i felt like i learned a little bit and this guy the this guy who was teaching them about like islamic culture was really cool or maybe he's
teaching about arabic culture he was really funny i he was like really funny and i was like this is
actually kind of refreshing you know because we get so many terrible um portrayals of islam through
the media these days and i was like this was actually i think a really nice thing to happen for america well the uh the best thing in it for me was jackie oh yeah jackie jackie
they totally below decked her ass they kept showing her staring at the food and like licking
her lips yeah and he's like yes and it is how you are you must act in the middle of the town
for a woman and she's like can we eat yeah it was actually like a really weird thing they just kept
on cutting back to jackie and the music would get really serious and she was just so hungry
it was so bizarre and in the meantime janet's like oh chicken i think I found my new husband. He's a sheik. Oh, and he's very sheik.
He was, Jackie was like, I mean, Janet was obsessed with this guy.
He's like, I'm very handsome.
He's a gorgeous man under those robes.
I could have ridden that camel all day.
It was a marvelous camel.
Live a right sheik.
And she's so blatantly flirting with him.
And she's like,antly flirting with him.
And she's like, is it true that you can have multiple wives?
He's like, yes, it is.
She's like, oh, divine.
Brian would love it here.
Tell me, do you like to hold hands too?
Oh, you do.
And then the women all put on burkas or veils.
And there's this great image.
I took a picture of it, but my TV is broken right now, so the colors are all wonky.
But there's an image of Gamble with a little veil on, like an Asa veil, where only her eyes.
It's like over her nose.
You see the rest of her, but she looked like a a little like a baby owl it was i know i wrote down gamble veil 29 ish so i could find it in the time stamp
it was absolutely and then the one i thought no one could top that until they showed janet
and her full cover her full cover ghost Purple covered ghost thing. Oh, well, chicken.
So he is telling them five times a day we pray and we ask ourselves, did you harm anybody?
Did you blah, blah, blah?
I'm like, how many people do you all stone?
But okay, I'll go along with this.
Jackie's like, well, I connected with the spiritual values, but I'm starving can we eat he's like okay eat she's like oh delicious angels are telling me it's time to eat
so they go to dinner and now it's like another fancy dinner and when pedoflora comes to the
table everyone's like well hello pedoflora she goes like you look lovely don't you pedifluor
oh look everybody look at pedifluor she looks lovely yeah and i love pedifluor in her interview
she's she starts shimmying and she's like you know last night it's like water off a duck's back and
she shimmies i'm like i don't think one shimmying properly expresses what our orthodox back.
And also I don't think you know how that works because you clearly still have all the water and it's soaked in and you were not tumbled dry because you have
a lot of grudges right now.
And so they're talking about going to this center for understanding and
talking about that. Pray five, you know,
like Muslims pray five times a day and think about apologizing.
And so pedophile goes, so, you know, it's funny that and think about apologizing. And so Pettiford goes,
so, you know, it's funny that you mentioned about apologizing because I was thinking about it last night
and thinking about apologies.
And I just want to say that I...
And all this nice music is playing.
Like she's about to just give this huge apology.
And she's like,
I think that no one appointed any of you as God.
Where's my apology?
You don't get to tell me how to live my life, ladies.
This is what I think when I think of praying five times.
You know, I was hoping that we could turn the tide,
but instead you just poured the tide into the washing machine and spun me around.
You put me into the tumbler dryer without any dryer sheet.
I come out crispy and smelling gross.
How am I supposed to bounce back from this when you won't even use bounce?
You guys are not being on the up and up with me.
I just want an apology.
That's all.
A-L-L.
That's all.
I'm totally out of
Don't bring me downy
Don't try to bring me downy
I just want us to be friends
I want you to apologize
We can have a big group hug
And snuggle together
Snuggles
I'm sick of you trying to be a stained stick on humanity ladies
I deserve a big apology from the snuggles bear by the way I am sick of you trying to be a stained stick on humanity, ladies.
I deserve a big apology from the Snuggles Bear, by the way.
Who does he, she think he is? Do we even know what the gender is of the Snuggles Bear?
I mean, come on now.
Who are you to try to iron out my wrinkles?
Who are you?
You and your cheery attitude.
You know you're a real bitch snuggles.
I'm going to gabble immediately.
Oh, so dinner's about to eat here, dear?
Yeah.
Is dinner going to be about you,
Zell, and Petit Fleur?
At which point Janet's like,
I'm tapping out.
Petit Fleur, get out of here.
No one wants you here.
Why don't you get the fuck out i'm tapping out
i'm tapping out and then at like two minutes tapping what is this tapping is that the sound
of like change in the dryer i like that betty says she never tapped in yeah
so then um but the best part is then they're talking I mean it's the same
It's the same shit
And then Janet's like
You know what Petty
I'm
I'm
I'm still tapped out
But I have something to say to you
It's that
I tried
I tried with so much love
I tried to give you so much love
And it's just like
I don't get anything back
I really don't
So then Petty Flo's like
Well Janet I'm sorry
Oh Petty Flo
That's all i wanted chicken
i'm tapping back in i'm tapping back in everybody this is the worst wrestling fight i've ever seen
so uh lydia goes shannon will change her mind in one hour and apparently on the flip-flop.
Such urgency.
And Gamble's mad seeing people make up.
Yeah, so now Gamble
moves on to Gamble. This is like
the entire fight is like a
wildfire. So now it's spread to Gamble.
I find you so
ungenuine.
So ungenuine.
I mean, like, what about me?
Gina doesn't spend time with me.
It's like we don't ever hang out again.
So Gina's like, oh, please don't be a silk about bullshit.
That's all shit.
Wah, wah, wah.
You hurt my feelings.
I'm not going to sit here and watch you cry.
I can't take that shit.
It's ridiculous.
Now, listen, if you don't accommodate accommodate me you can't be my friend yeah i
love when she said that yeah i love when people are honest like that she's like uh when it's
convenient for me you're gonna be my friend and if it's not gonna be convenient for me fuck off lady
yeah she's like oh oh oh she's like oh baby no one cares get it together stop being some
fucking in the middle of some bull and some shit stop being possessive stop being possessive and gamble has just been like run over by a train
she's like oh well she's like turning away sobbing like just it was gamble you had no chance
and then and then they were trying to be like the smart ticket for one second she goes you're making
me out to be a villain in front of these girls.
That's nonsense.
It's a load of shit, Gamble.
Yeah.
Yeah, and Gamble's like, well, you know, you're just a petty flirt.
You know, you're trying to, like, friendship is about how you make people feel.
Now you won't even listen to me.
I'm like, no, it's not the same thing, Gamble.
It's not.
Gina is a good friend to you.
And you've let these women get into your heads.
Just reach out to Gina and you can hang out with her.
And then Gina goes, there are no issues with this gimbal all right my door is always open to you and then chica says you can't make pediflu apologize and then ignore gamble
i think gamble goes she's probably my favorite on this show and what a dumb ass i know you can't
even say one thing to her because she always gets it wrong she doesn't even know what the
hell anybody's talking about yeah now i don't even know who she's mad at yeah i'm surprised
gina didn't get it's like all right gamble here's a song for you. It's for the CWA. It's called Get the Fuck Out of Here.
That's it.
Shut your fucking mouth before I fucking shut it for you.
How about that, Gamble?
How's that for a song?
We are the women of the CWA.
Shut the fuck up now.
Did you study opera?
What?
I don't even know what you said.
I just heard, did you say the opera?
Oh, yeah.
Opera?
So then, Jackie.
So how does it spread to Jackie?
Because now Jackie goes after Lydia.
Why does it go to Jackie?
Jackie, really?
Every time.
I mean, there was one time where Susie kind of pushed her into it.
But Jackie's just always ready.
You get a couple of drinks into her, and she's like,
All right, I'm going to yell at someone.
That's what's going to happen.
Her hair is like messed up.
She's one of those drunks that when she starts drinking, her hair gets crazy.
And that's what was going on.
And you're like, yeah, none of this even had anything to do with her.
But she's making her crazy face where one eye closes and the other one's rolling.
I love her faces.
She says, all right, well, we're talking to trees.
Why did Lydia say that I'm a bad dynamic?
Susie told me.
Susie said that to Lydia.
That's right.
Lydia said that to Susie, that I'm a bad dynamic.
I was like, do you not remember already having this discussion?
Susie goes, no, I said bad energy.
Like, when?
When then?
What did I do then?
I'm not surprised because there's a double standard.
Oh, no. Lydia says, I not surprised because there's a double standard. Oh, no.
Lydia says, I'm not surprised there's a double standard.
Or everyone else can say things, but when I say it, it's the big deal.
Well, and then Jack is like, you tear apart families.
If anyone has bad energy, it's actually you ruining families.
It's you.
You're the one who ruins families.
Isn't that right?
She's told me outrageous things about
women and their families so if you want to keep it real lydia how about you talk about all the
families you're bringing what families i don't even know what a family is that was so funny
lydia's like what the fuck jackie says now i'm not the kind of person to repeat what you would say
so i'm not going to repeat it but if anyone has bad energy it's you because you ruined families that had good energy and now the whole
family's dead family murderer and they're like what and it makes me cringe the things you say
about people i'm not going to say who or what i'm just going to say you're horrible it's like well
you gotta say something lady yeah so she says it's three people at the table that she's been
talking about now chica is at the other end of the table dressed like an edgar allen poe poem okay she's like got
this huge funeral fur it's the weirdest thing i've ever seen chica wear and that's saying something
yeah it was very yeah big like black feathers around the shoulders it was it was like black
swan ish um yes sort of from the 20s but not like somewhere between Tim Burton, Edgar Allan Poe, and Cruella de Vil.
And Dave Medman going to a funeral.
Yeah.
And Sheikah is, for the first time ever, she's turning into the Kool-Aid man and she's starting to go red.
And so basically Sheikah's like, yeah, you have been saying things.
You've been saying things and I'm not going to repeat them. You know what you said. You've been saying things, and I'm not going to repeat them.
You know what you said?
You know what you said?
And I'm not going to repeat it.
It was very Lauren Conrad to Heidi Montag.
You know what you did.
You know what you did.
And I think we can all infer what Chica's talking about, correct?
No.
What is it?
I was assuming it was about Brucie being gay.
Oh, did she say that?
Well, we don't know.
But that's the biggest rumor, right, that surrounds Chica is that Brucie is gay.
And I can't tell because then we find out what she said about the other ladies.
Janet was like, she said, I had affairs.
What an awful thing to say.
And then Gina was like, well, she said something about my partner, Dean.
I mean, apparently Dean was staring at her ass one day.
And guess what?
I don't blame him.
I would have stared at her ass too.
It's huge.
He was probably thinking, what the hell is that thing?
Yeah.
And then Susie's like, now everyone knows what I go through.
I'm Susie.
I'm still relevant.
But then, yeah, I assumed it was about the gay thing you know because someone sent us some gossip recently that they either heard from someone who works in the show
whatever and they're like well yeah they're like brucey's definitely gay which i don't i actually
don't believe i don't know i don't know if i believe brucey's gay to be honest but then they
said that lydia remember when we read that whole thing in the newspaper about Gina?
There's a whole anonymous letter, and we always assumed it was Andrea.
Apparently, according to this person, it was written by Lydia.
So maybe that folds into this.
Who knows?
Well, Lydia and Andrea were a team at that point, so they probably helped each other.
Because I don't think Lydia would have been able to string that many sentences together on her own yeah bless her heart so chica was is just
furious chica was like going after lydia and be like you shouldn't say those things shut up you
shouldn't say it be quiet you know what you said it's not right it's not right it's not right going
after someone it's so funny she's so mom she's like now sometimes in life lydia there's times
at dinner tables where it's time to just shut your lip and now's one of those times young bright lip
bright lip oh yes are you going to get mad about your lip chica
but chica like she was furious and then eventually she had to get up and she's like she goes to the
bathroom Jack she's like hate her
hate her wait a year and a half to say that
hate her and then and then Jackie
I think it was Jackie right who just
says that Lydia she's like you know she's
a fucking cunt so I'm like
be careful about saying that word in the bathroom on this
show yep this is the season
one fight all over again because that's
what happened with Gina. She went to the
bathroom, thought her mic was off, and
called, I think, Andrea the C word.
And then they all
jumped down her throat.
The difference... I mean, for the
whole season. Did he say that
to a woman? He would do that to
a woman? Say the C word.
That is so disrespectful.
But the c word that is so disrespectful but the difference is that um uh uh in season one
gina said that with lydia in the bathroom because they were friends and then lydia went and told
andrea this time i don't think that chica is about to go tell anyone i think that will stay there in
the bathroom and we'll it will it will probably come back at the reunion but i don't think it's
gonna become a scandal yeah i don't don't either. But I like that
Gamble, once Chica went off, which
Chica's version of going off was hilarious, but
she's like, be quiet, young lady, or you're
grounded. Gamble was like,
Chica's scary, and
Gina and Jackie come bowling.
No, Gina and Janet come
by, and
scary sounds at the table.
Oh, this show's so, so good.
I hope that every single episode can open with,
Stop the fuck!
It's bull fucking shit.
The mouths on this show.
The mouths.
Well, great show.
Super funny.
I hope everyone is enjoying Mel B i know uh tira tira who has messaged me a few times on snapchat i believe it was you tira you said
that you never watched melbourne before and then you started watching because of us and now it's
your favorite so i'm hoping all i gotta say is you're welcome tira i love some melbourne
love melbourne um everyone thank you so much for listening we hope you have a wonderful weekend All I've got to say is, you're welcome, Tiara. I love some Melbourne. Love Melbourne.
Everyone, thank you so much for listening.
We hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Happy birthday, Lisa Vanderpump.
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