Watch What Crappens - #357 SouthernCharm: Guns N' Shep Roses

Episode Date: May 17, 2017

Sun's out, guns out. The cast of "Southern Charm" has a quail of a time hunting in the George back country this week, and no bird is safe - especially Chelsea. Austen seems to have nabbed th...e prey, but don't count Shep out. At least, not yet. We cover every inch of this episode, from Patricia's caftan to Craig's deodorant foibles. Come join! And tell your friends! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,
Starting point is 00:00:18 or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode of Watch Your Crap is brought to you by our premium Patreon sponsors, Kelly Barlow, Cindy Gerson, Mia Hanson Aloha, Chrissy D'Aurry, and Madonna Horns. Thank you all. to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air, come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends. And to follow us on social media go to watchacrapens.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what
Starting point is 00:01:27 crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on bravo. I'm Ben Madelker from beside blog.com and the Vantage Blender podcast and joining me as always is the wonderful and hilarious. Quail, hunting, dicks, sporting goods, going, deodorant, drop in, Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com and the Rose Perks Bachelor podcast. Hey, Ronnie, what is going on? Well, hello, Benjamin. Oh, no. Nothing. I'm going to New York in the morning. So I'm looking around by junky ass house
Starting point is 00:02:04 and I'm so mad because I haven't packed it and anything. So I'm stressing out and my favorite thing to do is to stress out when I can do nothing about it. Just sit here in my chair and talk shit for a couple hours. Yeah, that's the way to do it. Are you excited for your New York trip? What are you going to do there?
Starting point is 00:02:18 Kind of, but I moved away from New York for a reason. That place is hard. It's all stairs walking with that space. Like everything's a pain in the ass, but it's also a great city. So I don't know, I'm half terrified, half lazedified, and also I'm scared that I'm just not going to be able to walk so much.
Starting point is 00:02:38 I might get one of those little hoverboard things like shah-ah-hath on Patelmax. Yeah. Well, we'll have to keep an eye out, or at least in New Yorkers will to see if you'll be drifting through the streets on wheels. Before you go to New York though, you should vote as there is an election today
Starting point is 00:02:53 on Los Angeles. Did it by mail, thanks. Look at you doing your stuff. Are you thinking, just me right now, but did it by mail? So mad. I went and did it myself. I had to walk up the hill and I'm like,
Starting point is 00:03:04 too much work. but I did it. And everyone else, if you're listening to this in time, go vote if you're in Los Angeles, it's important to vote. That's one thing we've learned, okay? But for right now, if you've already voted, we can talk about some Southern Charm, shall we not? Can we not?
Starting point is 00:03:23 Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba. some southern charm shall we not can we not so southern charm last night's episode was all about hunting hunting because the whole gang was gonna get hunting and the episode began with as like morning and Charleston and we saw things like Austin FaceTiming with Landon who was like that's her giggle yawn and two rabbits. He's like, you're a treasure. And then Thomas saw camera. So he's like, children, gather around children. Father is in his white jeans and ready to rumble. Yes, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And then Gizmo was like growling at Craig. I love Gizmo. So I like that. He was licking Craig's phone. Yeah. So cute. So Catherine just randomly driving around to be in someone's neighborhood so she could just drop by.
Starting point is 00:04:32 She's still shooting solo scenes. So she, this time she rolled up to JD and Elizabeth's house. Wow. To visit, which is exciting. She's like, hi, baby, and Elizabeth. And JD's like, Oh, ah, good to see you, girl. Come on in.
Starting point is 00:04:53 I got a gentrubub in the vest on right now. Her, their little kids come up and she's like, Hi, children. She's like giving them little tiny bags of heroin. They're like, oh, you're such a good godmother. Come on in. So she comes in in her double pig buns and JD and Elizabeth sit in chairs opposite Catherine.
Starting point is 00:05:15 They both put their face on their hand, you know, like on an armrest. Yeah, but they're doing it the opposite way. It was hilarious. And they're just staring at Catherine and they're trying to do this in the most professional way possible because last time they saw Catherine, it didn't really go so well. And so JD's like, so what's going on? Yeah. And Liz says, we're hoping to see you at the sipping sea. Kinsey was there. So cute. And Catherine was like, um, she invited Thomas and didn't invite me. Um, um, um, um, after having an affair with Thomas,
Starting point is 00:05:53 um, that's weird. So Catherine is acting normal, but she's already alleging on national television that Thomas and, um, snow didn't have fun. And that Thomas is probably the father of her child. And it was been like, and it's just sort of like looks to JD and he's like, he's basically like, I'll take it from here. What? Well, something hurts your feelings or something hurts Thomas's feelings. It'll make people uncomfortable, boy.
Starting point is 00:06:22 Mrs. Fearl instead of make people uncomfortable boy It's like cathode have a next time when Snowden is crying into her salad at lunch You show a little bit more empathy and then maybe you'll get invited to the sippin's safe, okay? How about we talk about your baby's brain surgery when I'm not hating you So we learned that cathode got a text message from Thomas and And basically JD and Elizabeth are trying to prod her towards having a civil relationship that they're basically saying like So next time you talk to Thomas. How about you don't freak out and why? He's like well We always says I had a talk with Thomas and I said, why can't you put your differences aside?
Starting point is 00:07:08 And then it has a flashback of him telling Thomas, the children need the mother Thomas and Thomas is like, I need my dreams to feature my Crocs and my ass in a way that reminds women of what a catcher I am. Like, top back. We all need things. I need my form fitting khakis. Children need their mothers, but I mean, Deach was there. I don't know what they need else from beyond that. JD's only there to help. Oh, and to remind us.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Chintra bourbon. Chintra bourbon. Best. So that we see. Shep. Yeah. Shep wakes up when he goes jogging. And I like watching Shep jog. and Chantry bourbon vest. So that we see, yeah. Chapp wakes up when he goes jogging, and I like watching Chef jog. He looks like the Wienerschnitz will hot dog,
Starting point is 00:07:52 running away from whatever that hot dog runs away from. You know what I'm talking about? You ever see that Wienerschnitz will hot dog run? Probably the people who eat it, Wienerschnitz will eat it. You've been there lately? I've never been there. Have you ever been there?
Starting point is 00:08:02 I've run two, girl. Oh yeah, I love a Dürr Wienerschnitz. So there's one in the bow. So whenever I go to Ikea somewhere over there I stop at the durwinner. I mean, I love a hot dog. I really do well I my prefer it's terrifying and they let's be honest. I mean, I like their roof though I like that yellow roof So it's like I'm tempted to go in just for the architectural experience But there is a place called doghouse in Burbank and I'm a big fan of that. That's my preferred hot dog restaurant. I don't believe in expensive hot dogs. Well, fine.
Starting point is 00:08:36 I thought there was going to be more of that. You know why? Did that because I was opening a Milky Way. Why? I don't know. I can't eat it right now. Their hot dogs are not that they're expensive, it's just they have a lot of toppings on them. I'll tell you one thing I don't believe in, I don't believe in pink hot dogs. That's one thing I don't do. Yeah, that's another overrated product. Or I really just like the bread, the bun.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Or doggies. Or doggies. By the way, if you're a visitor to Los Angeles and you go to a doggie game and someone's like, well you gotta get a doggie dog, no you don't unless you want to eat, you know, like wet rubber. That's what you're eating, okay? A do dodge a dog. No, you don't unless you want to eat, you know, like wet rubber. That's what you're eating. Okay. Don't get it. I used to get 10 cent hot dogs at the El Paso Diablo's baseball games. No, really. We're bonding. He's really into baseball. I was there for that. I was going to my entire $5 allowance and just binge on hot dogs in the back.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Well, I mean, we all know the best hot dog deals is the $1.50 hot dog at Costco with a soda. Oh, yeah. Because those are good hot dogs. They used to be Hebrew National, but now they're the Kirkland brand, which is still very good. And it's certainly better than the IKEA $2 for two hot dog situation. Oh, yeah. Those hot dogs are nice.
Starting point is 00:09:41 You know, I gave me a couple of cold Swedish meatballs once and I've never been right with them since So that being said chef goes jogging. I don't know how far he jogged but he just jogged basically Round the block. Yeah, it's around the block He barely cuts He had drinks for five days Gars I've proven who I can be without alcohol for five days
Starting point is 00:10:05 Gars And they showed Yeah I can be without alcohol for fucking days. Gosh. Gosh. And it shows that I haven't I haven't I haven't gritted these notes. So I'm laughing at everything like it's the first time I've seen it. They show him in the dairy queen drive-through, binging on ice cream. Yeah, I was like this is the James Kennedy diet.
Starting point is 00:10:21 James Kennedy rehab. Go to ice cream instead. And by the way, his Derek wean looks so good. I wanted to go out and to ice cream instead and by the way his Derek Queen looks so good I wanted to go out and get ice cream right at that moment I don't have a dairy queen by me as I don't need it I didn't need to be dairy queen I just want to get ice cream Sunday and by the way Shep he gets this giant Sunday and he puts it like on the passenger side to get his money and he totally sticks his elbow in it So Whitney is like, welcome, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh, meh the giant in my right bro yeah yeah let's go to jumbo's clan room in Los Angeles bro so they're
Starting point is 00:11:08 gonna go quail hunt and they sure are chester yeah and there it's gonna be right outside of Savannah so in my mind I'm like oh well here comes the crossover but even this should have been one by the cross go for the Savannah yeah it's like they're terrifying. So she tells us, I've been hunting my whole childhood, gosh, my dad started me off with the BB gun and a shotgun, then a machine gun, a tank, and then I just started lighting people on fire in the streets. Cars. The cars out.
Starting point is 00:11:37 So violent. So violent. And then they start talking about Craig and Naomi and that whole situation and she goes, well, gosh, she basically has a duty to protect him, you know, like a fiduciary duty emphasis on douche. And I'm not a lie. I actually laughed. I laughed at that joke.
Starting point is 00:11:55 I just like that these guys cannot let it go with Craig. They're so obsessed with hating Craig. But I'm telling you, I always defend them in this realm because I have had friends who are like Craig and you You just become fixated on their ineptitude in certain areas of their life and you just are like, oh, yeah There's another example of it. There's another well. I am here to say Craig can grow and change because the next scene is Craig And guess what everybody he's learned how to print through the Wi-Fi. That's true.
Starting point is 00:12:28 I mean look that's evolution right in one season. Yeah. So even Gizmo seemed pretty happy with it. He was just sitting there smiling. So Craig is, he's scared about where he stands with. Now me because for the first time, it seems like things might not work out between the two of them.
Starting point is 00:12:49 As evidenced by the fact that she walks in, and then he's just totally cold to her. She's like, hey, Craig, how are you? He's like, God. Hello, child. Hello, child. I like that he, he was pretending to be busy. So he just kept pressing buttons on his computer
Starting point is 00:13:05 and then picking up files and it's like, well, just going over the inspection. Whoa, Fadoosh, Fadooshia, Bank Balance, Ledger. Craig, I can hear the Tetris music. No, I'm just researching things in Russia because I was in Russia. I was in Russia. I think I figured it out. I think I figured out who was leaking everything to Russia.
Starting point is 00:13:34 I think it was this block here. If you notice, it falls really fast, but you can rotate it, and I think I just figured out, Craig, you're not even making sense. I'd love to talk to you Naomi, but I'm printing something with no cords. So you're going to have to wait. Well, watch that. Wow. You don't even care. Thanks a lot for the support child.
Starting point is 00:13:57 It turns out you can actually print something where it's like edgeless printing and just prints all the way to the edge of the paper. But I guess you wouldn't care about that very much child. So did you notice that on his computer screen, he was working on a logo that said flawed spell wrong? Yes. I guess that's his clothing line. I was surprised we didn't see more of that because it clearly was a logo and I was
Starting point is 00:14:16 like, oh, and now here's a clothing line to go on top of the real estate and the bar exam and the carpet tree. Who wants to wear underwear called Flaud? Nobody. It's either flotter packet, which one do you want to choose between Invite Only Cabo and this one? So I like that characteristic. So she's like, um, like there's tension between the men.
Starting point is 00:14:41 He, I don't remember if he says to us sort of her, that she's like he's like She's not only was out of control at the sippincy She's like do you want to talk Craig and he's like well like it's the thing is like I wasn't wrong And she decides and he gets you were rude and you left me she goes I had to get a gift I had to run errands I had to get there on time and you were late but that's not true and then he folds his hands like he's the boss he's trying so hard to look like look home office wow yeah breaks almost over and and I like he's like he's like no I wasn't late you, no, I wasn't late. It wasn't that I was late and you left me. You left me and she's like, well, if we weren't late,
Starting point is 00:15:30 then why did you show up late to the party? You had a car here. He's like, um, it's, you know, I wasn't late. Yeah. He just sticks with his argument no matter what. It's so frustrating. And he also does that thing, which I think I've mentioned before. I knew this stripper. And when she got too old to be a stripper,
Starting point is 00:15:51 she started pretending she was really smart and she would learn new words. And so whenever we would get an argument, she would go, well, I have a different opinion. And I'm like, it's math. Like it's not an opinion. If I say make a right on the next thing to get to the store, she'll be like,
Starting point is 00:16:09 I have a different opinion. It's not an opinion. It's a location. And that's how Greg argument is. He's like, well, that's not my opinion. Yeah, okay. And she's like, basically, you know what he says, okay, fine, whatever about the late thing,
Starting point is 00:16:23 I was really embarrassed, you know, that, about how you talk to me, you know, you can't call me a child, I didn't like the way you talk to me, and he's like, well, you were just as bad as what you said, you're wearing our dirty laundry, she's like, no. You can't rape you, did. Yeah, I'm like, I'm, I'm a little bit on Naomi's side here.
Starting point is 00:16:42 I mean, sure, she did sort of of she did air the dirty laundry a little bit But at the same time you relate and when you're chronically late at certain point you forfeit the right to not have your laundry aired That's that's what happens that's the revenge that happens because you push people to frustration and then you never know What's gonna come out true? But Naomi is falling into the trap of like fighting in front of their friends to get someone on her side Because and I can see that it's so frustrating for her that he never admits any fault is falling into the trap of like fighting in front of their friends to get someone on her side. Because and I can see that it's so frustrating for her that he never admits any fault. Yeah. So she's just trying to get people who already know he's an idiot to remind her that
Starting point is 00:17:12 she's an idiot, but it makes him look bad as a couple. And at that party she was cornering that poor lady. She's like, but then he was like, and then what am I supposed to do? Because he was late after telling everyone else. Well, to be fair, she shows up and she's like, whatever, he was late, so I decided to leave and he'll just come on time. And then he was like really mad at her and then he was like, whatever child. And then when he said whatever child, that's when I think she really started doing the cornering because that was really obnoxious. One thing to be like, well, he is late again, so I decided, you know what? He just have to come on his own. That's one thing. But to call your girlfriend a child and a moron and for other people, that's not wrong.
Starting point is 00:17:49 But that was at the end. She had already started with that older lady where she's like, after telling all the friends, and then he joined a member when they were like fighting with old lady by proxy or whatever. Yeah. She was their proxy war. He's like, yeah, but she just left me all alone. That was uncool. Well, he's always late Not a lady ran the hell out of the kitchen He also acts as if he was abandoned in the middle of the woods You're like five blocks away in your apartment and I know him is like I had to get a gift You know the implication being like I actually have more responsibility in this situation and not only did I have more responsibility I still managed to get here on time.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Child. Child. So then we go over to... She tells them she doesn't want to fight anymore. She goes, I'm not going to fight with you anymore until there's a counselor to tell you how ridiculous you're being. He's like, well, okay, then... How about you stop quoting Tina Turner? How about that?
Starting point is 00:18:44 Because you're not Tina Turner, okay, then how about you stop coding Tina Turner? How about that? Because you're not Tina Turner, okay? Instead of printing this in front of you, I'm going to you say to a put-off. Take that child. I didn't hear what you said, but I just heard a noise that it made me laugh instead. Instead of printing, I'm gonna save that to a put-off.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Oh, the PDF. I thought how did I not get Ben with a PDF joke? I thought you were gonna go pfff so I was like huh, but put-a-fuck. Yeah I'm just gonna lay, get out. So then we go to a shop in town, where Whitney Austin and Shep are, they're shopping to go quail hunting. And it's one of these, like,
Starting point is 00:19:31 you can tell it's an expensive store where they sell, like, old-fashioned, good old boy hunting clothes that all, you know, speaks of a lot of money and looks kind of good. And, you know, lots of earth tones and elbow patches and vests and jackets and little and little caps you know lots of plaid and like that stuff that jadee wears in his vests where it's like sheep skin but it's made out of like poly something you know like that fake sheep skin shit
Starting point is 00:20:00 yeah it's basically a way of saying i have lots of of money. And so they're there and Austin is like, I'm like a city guy. I don't even know what the fuck a quail is. I'm like, you should not be saying that that loudly. Also, your mouse shouldn't be moving that much for as few words you're coming out of it. Yeah, don't brag about your quail ignorance, okay? Whitney's like, yeah, well, I like hunting.
Starting point is 00:20:24 As long as we, what we kill. Oh, okay. Sustainable bra, sustainable. So they're just, you know, they're trying on different sweaters and things like that. I actually really like the sweater that Austin chose. And I like that, one thing I really enjoyed was Craig calls up and you know, we don't hear Craig's have the conversation conversation we just see Shep talking and Shep's like oh Craig hi oh gosh oh he's a dick sporting goods
Starting point is 00:20:53 Garsh and they're laughing and I just I just love that that degree of like elitism and snobbery. It just sort of spoke volumes. I think that's what's always been so good about the show. The the the rich assholeery, you know, laughing at Craig for going to Dick sporting goods instead of, you know, the poor ones calling from his prepaid cricket phone. Oh, of course. God forbid you want to spend, you know, a thousand dollars on and out, but you're going to use once. So it's stupid. I mean, they're stupid anyway. That shits all JC penny like conservative bad stuff in Texas. So then of course they start getting caddy right away. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:35 Austin, uh, Austin says this landing coming and, uh, chefs like, Corsian, cure. Why is he asking about landed? Wait a minute. He would be great with landing. Yeah, I would really be happy to see that cultivate it because I wouldn't fuck her with Moby Dicks Arpoon. And then he bases like you sort of like land and don't you? And then when he goes you sweet on her bra, you sweet on her like, oh, don't say that. I like when he says things from the 50s,
Starting point is 00:22:05 but then that's a bro at the end. And then Austin's like, nah, and then we doesn't really say anything. And then when he's just, all right, all right, all right, OK, I'm done. I'm like, shut up. When they have you taking a shine to her bra. You're going to go steady with her bra?
Starting point is 00:22:20 You're going to go steady? It's just so now let's go over the matrices. Yeah, Patricia is reading something on her tablet, which is in a case that looks like it was like someone took the the the snuggies snuggles bear and turned it into an iPhone case. Yeah, it's a gutted Plush stuffed phone case and you know That dog has fucked that thing so many times so many times. That's the reason why that iPhone doesn't come out It's delicious like wow my growing hair my hand
Starting point is 00:23:00 Chancel Chancel always gets a rouse whenever we rent outrageous fortune from our uncle Joey's blockbuster vid jaw chain. Need to keep Johnson away from the rabid every time there's an iOS update. His little lipstick starts vibrating like a first on fire. Bye. Bye. Bye. Nah, excuse me while I try to fit this snuggles bag inside my calf down pocket. Michael's like, Madame, Miss London of the Greens is here.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Stupid. She's on dirty patio furniture, like pretending to swipe on a dog's fuck toy, okay? You can drop the pretent. Yeah. And so they get bourbon slushies, which look delicious. Pretending to swipe on a dog fuck toy, okay? You can drop the Briton. Yeah And so so they get bourbon slushies which look delicious I mean this show is really doing a lot for me between the ice cream Sundays and the bourbon slushies. I was Starving slash thirsty. Yes, well, you know Patricia can have that step. She has calf tans. Yeah her own that step she has calf tans yeah our own and that have like
Starting point is 00:24:06 a billion pug faces on them with creepers she selling those online now so that which you know it's really saddened matriarch would be modified to have an online store but well and she said by the way she sent a pair of pajamas andy Cohen that has like that the dogs on them and he'd like to picture in the pajamas he's like look at a cute alien pajamas and like shut up Andy Cohen
Starting point is 00:24:29 I want I want some. Oh I forgot to say when when he announced landed he's like madame land and I was in the midst of walking the pug. Yes. It's a really. Sean said. Sean said. Landon asked for a bourbon slushy and she's like, I'll have one too, to be polite. Mm-hmm. And immediately Patricia starts trying to sell Landon on T-Rav, saying, you know, like, all the good things that he would bring to relationship and land in his
Starting point is 00:25:05 busy, like, yeah, well, I mean, he does have a lot of qualities that I'm looking for, you know, drug abuse and nice khakis. It looks like Storter would drug deal the other one. I like when Patricia said, you're going shooting on Jeff Whitney spent many years shooting in England Loads into a sock over yourself while he's a boarding school awful woman So she's she's like well, it's just a diamonds has so much baggage I mean come learn and then like I said you want to go shooting with me and he can't because he has a felony, so
Starting point is 00:25:56 And she goes well any true adult has baggage Yeah, I mean, because they said that Thomas has a wealth of problems that she can't even fathom and that's what she goes Well, you know grown-ups do and I was like It's not no not every every grownup has a felony. When I was joining a crazy baby mama, okay. Yeah. When I was 20, I found Old Amendment more attractive, because money. It's all about the money, honey. Yeah. At least, you know, at least she doesn't lie about it.
Starting point is 00:26:21 She does. She's like, you have to find a mate who is equal a better in terms of education and background and what they can offer you. It takes money, honey. And it's like, you both accomplished nothing. So you're perfect. You're perfect there when she says, I have a soft spot for Thomas. I'm sorry that he's turned out to be an exemplary father
Starting point is 00:26:50 What other children do you know that have their own guest house and a paid full mother? The way the way that he stuffs them into that back house since he's been one hour a day and gives them Leaves them with that lady Deed's Roth in her name is. I don't know. I seem to remember her working at the dandys for years Really knows how to serve a moon over my hammy. I mean a wonderful selection for a make-believe mother I think he is doing a wonderful job curating the parental types and those children's lives He's almost learned their names without a chiron to say He almost called one of them chiron. I saidair Thomas, that's not the name of our people. If you know what I'm saying, at least he stopped calling the new one.
Starting point is 00:27:31 Hello, my name is. I got to Thomas trying to pretend he's a father. He's like, here, here's your socks. Here's your socks. I'm around like a father. He's like, here, here's your socks. Here's your socks. I'm gonna round like, uh. But Lenin's like, I know it's just that, you know. Why? And then Patricia's like, Landon,
Starting point is 00:27:54 you have to be a risk taker. You know, for instance, I'm wearing a calf tan that's covered in creepy face dogs. That's the risk that I took from my life. I'm going on Shark Tank and we try to sell it to Beth and Frank Hal. She's a Jewish from New York. She'll like it. You think John's a dream of a gorgeous bunny with a Siri to talk to it night? No, but he just kept humping my phone until it happened. He took real risks.
Starting point is 00:28:23 Taking that phone. You know what I call a risk? Replace in a regular old bell with a bell that looks like a turtle. You can ring by touching his head or its tail. That's what I call a risk landing. You can define your turtle bell in the shape of a penis attached to a shape of a Thomas Ravanale. If you're timid and settle for the status quo, you know, lead a life of quiet desperation. Like, uh, you just described Whitney and he's got all the damn money in the
Starting point is 00:28:52 world. I've never seen any one more quietly desperate than Whitney. Land in the last thing I want to see for you, a beautiful young lady doesn't know how to build a website is for you to wind up with a man who doesn't have substance abuse problems or a crazy ex-girlfriend who might come stock you and send Amazon Prime Packages that are full of bullets and spiders. I find it amusing that Patricia's never trying to hook Whitney up with any of these girls. Well, because Whitney already has a strange Australia model friend. So Thomas, let's see, land in blah, blah. Oh, I like the land and says, yeah, but until everything is
Starting point is 00:29:35 settled at him and Catherine, and she guess hasn't it been settled? No, no, no, it has to be. It's a little bit of just get some 22 year old to drop out babies and then pretend she doesn't exist That's not really how that work especially not Catherine Dennis Catherine Kelly and Dennis, okay. She is a special top of lady who contours her face with tar okay She will not be forgotten. I will not be ignored You know, Ronnie, I think that Patricia's's calf dance would make a wonderful gift and you know
Starting point is 00:30:07 I know some people are celebrating their birthdays In fact some people are celebrating their birthdays today Yes, there's a girl out there named Courtney Obohosa who has a husband in Eric policy. Yay. Hi. She's turned 26 today has been an Eric Policie. Hi, she's turned 26 today. Yeah, day, May 16th. Hi. Would you believe it?
Starting point is 00:30:28 They live in Santa Cruz, California, if you want to talk to them. And they've only been married a couple of months. But today is her birthday. And even more importantly, she has an Instagram for a dog called Fitzgerald DeCorgie. And so clearly, would you believe it? She needs some Corgi pajamas, Patricia. Like Sarah's saying, Instagram for your dog, like I can't. What am I supposed to do right now?
Starting point is 00:30:45 I'm happy birthday happy birthday to you happy birthday to you like a happy birthday to you happy birthday to you I did it like walls up seriously done So Courtney we're giving you a happy birthday shout out because your husband reached out to us and let us know that you're a super Fanny been listening forever and that you're a huge bravo fans. So guess what Courtney? You know what actually I think that Courtney would do, would be really good for Courtney's birthday. Girl, any new couple or old couple? Yeah, they could use new mattress,
Starting point is 00:31:15 specifically a Casper mattress. Yes, Casper mattresses are amazing. Ben has one and sleeps on it every night. Every single night. I see it on the cast for mattress. And the nights that I don't see it on a cast for mattress, I'm like, where's my cast for mattress, bitch? Yes, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Cast for makes it premium mattress and sells it online for a fraction of what it would cost in a store. Yeah, their business works by continuously developing their mattress using feedback of nearly half a million customers, including me. Real customers, like being, have said this mattress is like sleeping on burios and like being cradled by the tinkling of baby laughter in the moonlight. Well, you know, buying the casper is easy, almost as easy as Thomas Ravannell. You just have to order it online.
Starting point is 00:32:01 It's to live it to your door in a compact box and there's free shit and free returns. It's available in the US, the Canada and now even the UK. Considering we spend more than one third of our lives on a mattress, it's so important to truly sleep on a mattress before committing. That's why Casper gives you 100 nice to try it out. It's room worthy. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
Starting point is 00:32:33 I'm Matt Bellasive. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Now remember, then. Wah! The San Francisco R&D team recently developed a variety of old nut release pressure and increases that though. Ah! With an average of 4.0 out of five,
Starting point is 00:33:55 stuff is across more than 30,000 global reviews. It's quickly becoming the internet's favorite mattress. So you guys, I never doing funny voices, but this is serious, serious matter. Really, you must remember, you'll get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting www.casper.com slash crap ins and use the promo code crap ins crap ins. Just remember crap ins. Casper dot com slash crap ins. Yeah, cash per dot com slash crap ins. In conditions apply. So now it's time for the big hunting trip.
Starting point is 00:34:26 And everyone's getting into cars. Austin is still like, I still don't know what the fuck a quail is as if that's like a badge of honor for him. And there are different cars. And in one car, you have Shep Whitney and Cameron, which I like that car. That's like the shady car. They're just doing a shady gossip entire drive.
Starting point is 00:34:45 I really wish I was like the fourth person there because I like it when the four, the three of them get together and just talk shit about, you know, Craig and stuff. I liked Whitney's baggage, his long gun, and then a Louis Vuitton bag. I didn't notice that. That's hilarious.
Starting point is 00:35:01 So, so the thing is this, one thing we didn't really touch upon is that back at the hunting shop, two things happened. First of all, they talked at length about boots. But they're going to have boots that are going to be snake-preed for an op, but boots, boots, boots, everyone get boots. The second thing is that when Shep asks Austin how things were going with Chelsea, Austin kind of murered.
Starting point is 00:35:21 He was like, well, you know, because he didn't want to give Shep anything, because he didn't want Shep to get involved, or to be a cock block or anything like that. So Chef interpreted that as Austin saying that, like, things are not going that well. So Chef is like, gosh, things aren't working out well with Austin and Chelsea. Gosh, but Austin and Landon could be a thing.
Starting point is 00:35:40 And I was like, I have to say, I kind of been enjoying how this season is turning into a weird version of Emma or some Jane Austen novel in my mind. You know, because Cameron is trying to get Shep with Chelsea, but then Chelsea wound up with Austen by accident. So now Shep is trying to get Austen with Landon so that way it frees up Chelsea, so that way Shep can get with Chelsea and get Landon off his back back and land is just trying to get away from Thomas Ravnell. And Cameron just is trying to not get impregnated by anybody. Yeah, I don't even care what happens.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Just don't put it inside me. Yeah. So in the other car, you've got Austin with everybody else and he's sitting in the front with Chelsea. And she's like, I love a man with a big trip. He can shoot things. He's like, whoa, I'm gonna do it then. She goes, what if you like hunting and you become a man out there?
Starting point is 00:36:32 He's like, whoa, whoa, one thing at a time. Let me find out what the fuck a quail is first, okay? How do people believe in you? They can suddenly climb up to trucks that big. She's like, stop it it you turn them me on So then in the other car a camera is like shape when you think of Chelsea Nikki do you get a tingling your bridges? It's like oh my god me ma Jesus Christ. He's like yes. You're not 70. Yeah So he says yes, she's like they're still still hope. He's like, gosh, no, gosh, yes, secretly.
Starting point is 00:37:08 And then, and then Craig Tech's chef is like, on, bring boots, I forgot mine. And they all just crack. I'm saying, of course, Craig forgot his boots. After all that, after all that talk back and forth about whether or not he should get the snake boots or not, he doesn't know boots at all. Well good. He's poor. He should use their stuff He probably knows that they were making fun of him while he was at Dix He's like this. Yeah, but why would he also say bring boots?
Starting point is 00:37:35 They're like they've been driving forever at that point. Yeah, there's Craig for you. Yeah, so chef is I couldn't write this line down properly, and I don't even remember it, but I liked when he said, wait, can you see what, what means wearing to the hunt? Yeah. What do you like to say? He said, it'll be like Lord Fountain of Roy. And I was like, and I was like, huh?
Starting point is 00:37:59 And then I looked it up, and apparently there's a children's book called Lord Fountain of Roy. It's like a whole thing, and there've been movies, and this and that. So now I children's book called Lord Fountain of Roy. It's like a whole thing. There have been movies and this and that. I don't know why I missed out on Lord Fountain of Roy. Maybe he's the only playing boarding school. These poor kids. You know, Shep is always good.
Starting point is 00:38:12 He's been pretty good for like a literary reference. You know, he really is. He said what? He just got in so much. He's smart. That's what's so frustrating. He's so smart. He's like, I don't know why I can't find a girl, Garz.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Because the only people on your level are like home Yeah, it's some bar trying to fuck a 20 year old Well, it's I mean he did call himself maybe the first or second season over educated and under employed and that's That's what he is. He's really smart, but he He doesn't want to he doesn't want a smart lady, I guess. I don't know. Who knows with him? So the cars arrive basically and chefs like,
Starting point is 00:38:49 Craig, you look like you're going to the beach. Goers. Because Craig is wearing like a tank top and everyone else is in there, you know, back or fans close. Oh, don't worry. We stopped in Walmart and Craig got boots. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:39:02 I thought you were breaking into patty lipone for a second. Ha, ha, ha, second. I'm hunting. I'm in a home on Craig Gopin's side. Don't cry for me quail in the bush. The truth is you never hunted me. I like when Whitney's outfit was so silly. He looked like a villain in like a cartoon from the 80s, you know, and Cameron says, he looks like Benjamin Button when he first came out.
Starting point is 00:39:30 I was like, old, old man, Benjamin Button. I feel like Whitney looked like an episode of the 18 where they had to go undercover in like hunting garb. You know, where it doesn't quite fit. You're like, wait a second, I can tell you're still Murdock. You know, Mr. T really would make this show sing. They they needed Mr. T on this show He would just be like, what was Mr. G's big line again? I can't remember it. Uh something.
Starting point is 00:39:58 I want to say I want to say what you're talking about, but that's that's different strokes. Um, wait or raise it up. I'm sorry, everyone. It'd be racist. Racist black icons. The early on. I'm sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. You're like, I think he used to say, give me a prank. I should. I'm trying to make a tear. What was that? What was that thing that Mr. T used to say when he dropped the dust buster into the fish tank? Jello putting pot. No, for real. Why can't I, it's okay. I got it like this up because this will truly annoy the listeners.
Starting point is 00:40:30 Mr. T. Quar, like the fit. Something super. Something. Boop. It's, I gotta find it. Pity the fool. Ridiculous. I pity the fool.
Starting point is 00:40:42 I think it's I pity the fool. I pity the fool. That's what it was. I'm pretty sure it's Iitted the fool I think it's I'm hitting the fool that that's what it was I'm pretty sure it's I pitted the fool Well there you go Which would still be very appropriate for this show? I'm pretty the fool there you go. We did it. Okay everybody thanks for listening I'm putting the fool Everyone we figured it out I pitted the fool I put, we figured it out. I'm putting the fool. I put it, I put it the listeners, actually.
Starting point is 00:41:07 That's, that's, that's will be our quote. I put it the listeners for him to sit through this episode of us. Well, we're in a freaking crazy place today. Yeah. Okay, let's see. What else here? So they go, they go hunting, except for Cameron and Elizabeth who just go fishing, but they're hunting, and it's funny.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Again, they're all dressed backer vans and Craig is there and he's dressed like he's gonna go deer hunting and stuff. He's wearing like, again, like a tank top with one of those bright orange dress vests on, not a dress, but a vest on, you know? And JD's like, waaaaaaah, or maybe his Whitney, who was like, you look like you're about to work a roadside crew, which again was such a multi-layered moment of snobbery, you know? It's making fun of his naivete, the fact that he wasn't born into this lifestyle, he doesn't know how to dress and the roadside crew thing. But at the same time, it was true.
Starting point is 00:41:59 I'm caffeinated everyone, I'm caffeinated. Oh, I'm trying to see. Oh, what? My, here's what my next note says. Austin on phone with Ugly Lantan Yawning. That means I accidentally hit go back to the top. So let me come back here. So I liked it with what's his face?
Starting point is 00:42:20 JD and Liz arrived. And that only we get to say that much. But every time JD's here here and I get excited. Hey, everybody! Ah, quaz! All right, so Shep starts giving Craig shit. He's like, what do you forget everything? Cars, shirts, bullets, quagg. And then they're like, here's our driver, Gerber. And he's like, hello, I'm Gerber.
Starting point is 00:42:51 So what are we going to fantasy quail islands? You know, they were all like, gosh, this is so weird. It's a non-white person. Gosh. That gets the top of the car. Right. and that can be a top of the so they he's he's like here's how you shoot the birds look the bird the dogs you bird and then you say go dog and then the dog go and then the bird gets scared and
Starting point is 00:43:13 flying you shoot it's like got it shoot the dog right it's okay I played dog hunt what let you guys don't have hot dogs where you're from hey well I was the dog keep laughing at me So I like what at one point so Austin is like really good at it and one point He he he just always shoots a quail and you just see JD go And Chelsea goes who was that and he goes that was mean she's like oh that makes me heart
Starting point is 00:43:47 The way you shot that defense this quail Man you know that could have been better if you were standing in the in the bed of a truck Who and then the girls are fishing in camera and it's like I don't know if I'm ready to be a fisherman I don't know if I need the responsibility of fishing my life. What if I just like being myself with some cheetos? Hey, I got a little voodoo doll for this fish. Did you see poor Craig? So, I mean, so I vacillate between feeling so bad for Craig
Starting point is 00:44:21 and just thinking he's such as like a sweet, lovely, you know, Craig. And sometimes being like, a sweet, lovely, you know, Craig. And sometimes being like, oh Craig, because you know, he did forget his, you know, he forgets this, he forgets that, he's late. You know, we all know people like that, there's always a mess and you're like, oh my God, get it the fuck together. But then you see Craig and he like, doesn't really know how to shoot the gun and he almost shoots a dog.
Starting point is 00:44:41 And I don't know if you noticed it, but at one point, he had a giant wilt on his face, because clearly the gun, the kick back got him in the face. And I don't know if you noticed it at one point he had a giant wealth on his face because clearly the gun to kick back got him in the face and i don't know how the cameras missed that but he his face was swollen the poor guy well that happened to camera into on another trip she's like i don't see because one time it not my out it would happen to me that's i guarantee it would happen to me and i i would hit the the i would hit the dog and not on purpose. Yeah, I was worried for those dogs
Starting point is 00:45:07 I'm sure a lot of them are bad. I once went to the driving range and I hit a golf ball And I hit the little you know the little car the picks of the golf balls. I hit it square right in the middle of the windshield I'm like I'm a terror with projectiles I'm a terror with projectiles. I need to put that on my shirt I'm a terror worth projectiles. I need to put that on a shirt. So Naomi's talking to the girls about Craig again, even though she's not supposed to, but I think they did ask her. And she's like, you guys, the thing that's really scary is that he legitimately doesn't understand that he's ever done anything wrong. So I'm trying to go I have a lot of random notes, but then they just start getting wasted, right? Well, I mean, basically it's time. My next note is that
Starting point is 00:45:53 it's, it's they're done with the hunt and now they are, they're washed up again right for dinner. They got some more derves out there in the cabin because they're all in different cabs. They're all in one cabin. And they're like, where's Austin? Like, where's the story, man? Like, we got our derives over here. So we shave some form. It's like everybody knows that he's bone and Chelsea somewhere. Yeah. And Landon says, maybe they're busy and don't care. And they only say, they together? And she goes, are you kidding? I got a big in the mail and I said, this could be your engagement photo.
Starting point is 00:46:29 And they didn't say no. And then, and then chefs are drinking some more knob creak. So much for his, yeah, so much for his sobriety. And I like Cameron's like, I don't think a week is sufficient of time to get rid of a wand or an enzyme in your liver, but the heart wants with the heart wants Please don't ever be a rehab sponsor Just makes it sound so romantic. I know so then they all go and dinner
Starting point is 00:46:57 Did you notice that is there all walking up to the restaurant? They cut right when all the men are laughing like oh? Yeah to the restaurant. They cut right when all the men are laughing like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Austin and Chelsea show up and she's like gosh I called you for a Thursday were double legs they were delicious we could have had a moment where were you guys and Austin's like a I guess we were just doing things Good excuse Austin We were doing loads of laundry laundry laundry the course I was reading about quails and Wikipedia you know their birds isn't that crazy and awesome with all excited he's like whoa out there when we were shooting I was like pop pop and now I want a gun like I want a gun I need a gun in my hands all times and Shep says well Chelsea likes
Starting point is 00:48:00 dude with guns and big trucks so he's just trying to get laid What are you doing a chef that's your entire mo Drinking my sadness. What does it look like like quarantine? Like Prince Laurence in the 15th century The inventor of the great brunch egg dish You know getting drunk. I'm getting drunk. Like Miss Havisham. She got drunk. My current is timing, way said. I'm thirsty.
Starting point is 00:48:30 Gorse. Fuck, we're going to have to start reading books right? If we're going down this line of inside jokes, the show. This is awesome, babe. Y'all better wait for some big little lies. He did. He did. I mean, I'm his last week.
Starting point is 00:48:42 She quoted Tom Wolf. The week before that, it was like, wait for some big little lies coming right at you. He did. I mean, I'm his last week, Chef, he quoted Tom Wolf. The week before that, it was like, and Nicolette Sheridan decided that he would never eat radishes again. Nicolette Sheridan. I said we seldom, but mixed with a gun with the wind, but thing. But I think it was potatoes. Gorsh! And then the count of Monty Christo came in and said, I will get revenge on thee, am I right, Austin? Gorsh! I love Monty Christo.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Should I go up great Gorsh? It's not a sandwich. Stupid Gorsh, he's like a regular antigony. Gorsh! Stupid gosh, she's like a regular and Tiggity gosh So land in suddenly Starts flirting with Austin. This was so weird. Well, so here's the thing It was really weird because then everything ship was saying started making sense Well, it was not normal land in she's like Lending speakers like looking at your damn close. Oh my god, you're so adorable. You've got
Starting point is 00:49:47 damn boobs like me. Oh gosh, sit down, Madam Bovery. Here's the thing though. Don't you start talking about my ovaries. I'm not ready. Okay. And if I don't want to talk about my ovaries, I won't because I'm a woman of the modern age. I decide what to do with my bovaries. Well, here's the thing. I couldn't tell if it was the producers were making us think she's being flirty if she was, but I'm going to put this theory out there. One thing we didn't mention is that T-Rav showed up with JD and Elizabeth for dinner and Landon was like, well, Patricia is really trying to sell me hard on T-Rav and I'm not into it So I'm gonna keep my distance from T-Rav and part of me wonders if she was just drunk enough
Starting point is 00:50:32 Or she felt like maybe if I'm flirty with someone else T-Rav will get the picture because that's like a classic tool that I think we've all used is You know to really go above and beyond showing interest in someone else so Landon was being super flirty. And be careful using that tool in front of Thomas because he'll start thinking that's okay and Thomas will literally fuck away to us right in front of you. Like he doesn't care. Well, that's because Landon and our OC, our class.
Starting point is 00:51:01 Oh my god, that guy's such a pig. And he's still in white jeans. Yeah. Like and somebody just get that man in different jeans. So, lanterns all over him and chefs like, see, there's something going on with lantern in all stings. Yeah. And lanterns says, um, I want to like presently and then I go down. I don't even know what she was saying. She was saying she's like, no, I'm just working on like, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm in line, I'm writing that down, press hard enough, and long enough, and you'll become a diamond austin. Oh, Landon, it was in a Superman movie. So, I think that's taken. Superman, what a great concept. I'm gonna write that one down too. Hehehehe. Please not want not. Hehehehe. Home again, home again, jiggity, jiggity. Hehehehe.
Starting point is 00:52:09 What am I doing with my life? And he's like, well, it's no use crying over spilled milk. Oh! I'm ready to tell her that's so worthy. I don't even eat milk, that's so good. Oh my god, I'm lactose tolerant for that one. Hehehehe. That's so good! Oh my god, I'm lactose tolerant for that one! Eeeh! I hate her more and more with every breast she paints.
Starting point is 00:52:30 So, and that's such a shame, I still love her. What I love is, Shepp is now getting really drunk, and he's, the drunker he gets, the more educated he becomes, because Thomas is talking about kids, and Whitney says something about like, uh... How's custody going? Is it amicable? Amicable? I'm just like amicable.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Gosh! Amicable. I don't know what you just said that. Amicable. He's like, well, yeah, you know, whatever. I mean, I don't know. It's just the way they said. A jumbo's clan room.
Starting point is 00:53:03 You know, a bunch of strippers. A bunch of strippers talking like that. That's how they say it at Jumbo's clan room, you know, a bunch of strippers, a bunch of guys strippers talking about that. That's how they said at the Jumbo's clan room in England, okay, mother, and promises. Well, I wanted to be participant. I'm just a div, participative. It's like, participatory, gorsh.
Starting point is 00:53:19 Oh, that's fine. Participatory. Gorsh. So, yeah, I don't know, I just forgot. So then please, I don't know where Elizabeth's like, fine, participatory. Gosh. So yeah, I don't know. I just wrote that. So then Liz, I didn't know where Elizabeth's like, well, we have spoken with Catherine and everybody starts looking at her like,
Starting point is 00:53:35 brrr, she's like, she really wants to be a good mom and she is the mother. So we owe her a second chance and you can tell she doesn't even believe this but everyone's giving a dirty look and camera it's like she's a godmom so she has to be on her side but why on earth with anyone believe she's changed guess what bitch none of your business okay well then I'm surprised JD didn't pile up and say wow I think what my wife is really trying to say is, we're sick of her showing up in her Jeep and our driveway, so...
Starting point is 00:54:09 Could you just like fix things? Thanks, waaah! Does anybody else have a living room that just has sit and chair so you can't cuddle? It's hilarious when this goes upstairs crying, waaah! Waaah! We're always ready for a whole lot uh... so uh... oh now's a good time to mention last week i'd said that there were rumors on the blogs about Catherine failing a drug test
Starting point is 00:54:38 and this week Catherine released all of her drug tests since whatever and proved that she was not in fact testing positive for drugs. So suck it haters. Okay, suck it. So got it. So got totally real. You were like Craig's, you know, Mac art from back in the day, his clip art. I was waiting delivering a clip art waiter delivering drug result. Okay. So then after dinner, they all go back to the cabin. And now they're just getting drunk and Shep is even drunk. Or he's like, gosh, what if your dick grew bigger every year?
Starting point is 00:55:16 And when you die, it's just too big. And Tia was like, well, then I would have died a long time ago. Hear that, Tia? Where's Tia? She's not here. I thought I thought. I thought. Well, then I would have died a long time ago. Hear that, D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D all the ladies just could not resist you until you died from too much khaki hotness. What if? What if you're upset got so much big every year that to get a hot-on you had to use a garden hose. It's like, okay, this is you're drinking too much people and cam's like falling down on a wall in the back Chef jumps on Whitney and he falls.
Starting point is 00:56:05 And Chelsea's like, yeah, we're leaving. Yeah, Austin and Chelsea, you're like, we're gonna go and have fun times. And then as they're walking out, when he goes, hey Austin, don't come too fast. Disgusting. So Craig, the next morning, we get a ba ba ba ba ba ba.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Wake up scene. And Craig's trying to put on geodorant and I was dying. Craig's the life figure out how to work with the other it. Yeah, this is Craig's life in a nutshell. He's like, he's like, I barely open he picks up the geodorant just like drops it. Doesn't know how to hold it. And we have a gift of it on our Instagram. So, in our Twitter, I love that. And Thomas is talking to himself in the mirror. He's like a bokeh mercy. Participate. A micable mercy. Bok. A micable. Fuck, I'm gonna start saying a micable now. It's like, what's that thing that I started saying incorrectly? You know, out of nowhere, I started saying a propo, what's that thing that I started saying incorrectly? Out of nowhere, I started saying a propo,
Starting point is 00:57:06 it's a apropos, I don't know why. Out of nowhere, I started going, well, this is a propo of nothing, and I'm like, what am I doing? I hate that. Like when you, you know, I read a lot, so I know a lot of words just from reading, but I'd never say them.
Starting point is 00:57:20 Last year at Christmas, I was telling my mom, it's so Macabur, and she said, Macabur, Macabur mom. It's so Macabur and she said, Macabur, Macabur. Macabur, it's not a wrapper. I was like, that's how it's spelled. And she's like, well, it's not how it's said. Couldn't see in you. And I was like, never mind, mother.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Then ran up to my room and like hit my pillow a lot. Oh my God. So everybody leaves basically. And then we get to everyone's like, where's, you know, Landon's like, where's Austin and Jones and hee-haw. And they're in their love shack. And we get the like, bar-room, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom Buh-buh-buh! And go into their love stack and there's like a bra on the couch. And then it cuts to commercial, like as if the bra was like a cliffhanger that we were
Starting point is 00:58:10 all wondering, wait a second, did they or didn't they? And whose bra is that? Thomas left his bra. Thomas! So, um, yeah, so they're based Austin, Chelsea are in bed and, um, and Chelsea's like, I was really turned on by you Going into the woods and hot and something. It was good. Good hot and something. I Wanted to see you be a man and shoot something in the woods and look what it got you and And he's sorry. No, no, no, no, I'm just reading through notes really.
Starting point is 00:58:45 Basically, he is excited by this because they've had quitus. And he's like, enter her and she's like, no, you know, like, I'm not really looking for a relationship. You know, you're not going to be one of those pushables who's just going to want to be needy and need to be around me. You're going to be a man who wants to drive a pickup truck and hunt things, right? He's like Yeah, like when I like someone it's like usually like you know, I just like really want a lot
Starting point is 00:59:13 You just want to be alone fuck whoever you want, right? Right is what I mean, I just sort of like to think of you as like a logger and I'm an ale and together We make a flight, you know, I don't know what you're talking unless you're saying haunt and pick up truck, it doesn't mean anything to me. Survivor. I just want to like brand our truck with the flavor we like and just sell it together. It's like, oh you mean like, tasteers? Like no.
Starting point is 00:59:38 Thanks you know, I have to commit to you. Habat we just have relationship like a sampler tray. Habat that. Why don't we just bring our two loves together? Okay. I love trucks. You love beer. How about you know Drink it and drive and that'll be us sounds good, right? No Because you can see You can see how she was flirting in the beginning where she said let's think you're smart Like she's kind of teasing him all the time. And when she really started to lack him,
Starting point is 01:00:05 she's like, you sure are good, Hunter. Like she was teasing him in a romantic way. So she's into it, whatever. You remind me of Fred Dryer. Mr. Hunter, you know what I'm saying. I love my favorite thing about this whole town, is that no one's expected to work out. I mean, that guy had like, flappy arms and stuff, and he's like the stuff of the show. I want to move there. I
Starting point is 01:00:28 know. I know. I'll be married in a week. Well until that happens, we just will have today. I don't know what I'm saying. The point is this is the end of the episode. Okay. saying the point is this is the end of the episode okay you guys thanks for tuning in to listen uh on Friday we will have our southern term Savannah recap which will be interesting and uh tomorrow we got oh we have low deck Mediterranean which I'm really loving this season oh and we have to talk about the most important thing that happened in the past 24 hours for us. And by us, I mean, not just me and Ronnie. It's a us as a happens community. Captain San John started following us on Twitter.
Starting point is 01:01:13 So, you know, that's, oh my god. I know, fell over dead. Let's just look at the soak in, okay. Oh, I'm over, dead. You guys, seriously, over, dead, mapping. Thanks for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? Bye!
Starting point is 01:01:27 Hey Prime members, you can listen to watch or crap and add free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.

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