Watch What Crappens - #358: It's Not Rude... It's English

Episode Date: December 23, 2016

Erika Jayne's basic instincts gets Dorit's panties in a twist, and we know it's only going to get worse from here. Come listen as we dissect every detail of this burgeoning feud. Then it's ...off to London where Caroline Stanbury takes a very important stand against fishing. Finally, we wrap things up with a visit to Atlanta and the trail of broken hearts/garage doors on RHOA. Timecodes: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:08:39 - Crappens Mailbag 00:23:21 - Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 01:25:39 - Ladies of London 02:09:49 - Real Housewives of Atlanta See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is Who happens
Starting point is 00:00:31 Who happens I have crap crap crap crap crap Who cares what crap is Watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much Who cares what crap is Who cares what happens Hey everyone, welcome to Watch World crap ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch and talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the Banger Blender podcast and joining me on
Starting point is 00:01:03 this rainy and LA day, but perhaps sunny in El Paso day I don't know. It's the wonderful and charming and Christmas spirity level man himself runny caram from trash talk TV You do yours. You've got so many things at this point. You have to take over Your show. Yeah, currently there is well. This is Austin, Texas. Not El Paso. Oh my goodness Well, the spirit no idea what's happening in El Paso, Texas. Or do you got do you happen to have any cans of old El Paso nearby?
Starting point is 00:01:36 Get a rope Hi, I'm really like not tired at all, but I'm like duh. I think when I'm home so much I see so many people all the time like all day that my brain is just like it's my brain is shrinking up and like going into itself. Does that make any sense? Like a reverting penis in the cold. And there is a lot of meat and no vegetables and no water. No vegetables in Austin, by the way, none. There are everywhere, but my family is not a vegetable family. Okay,
Starting point is 00:02:12 they're meat and wine and vodka. That's pretty much even the kids. When I was in Austin two months ago, like the closest I got to a vegetable was the donut that my fried chicken was served on. Even the whole foods here has a different salad bar than we're used to. It's just fried chicken. Like, there are a lot more cheese slots and like little salads made with mayonnaise, you know. Yeah, probably like green pea salad with mayonnaise. Yeah, hot salad. It's like a progressive city at all,
Starting point is 00:02:45 but they still have a vegetable shortage in my opinion. Yes. I mean, we do have electric vehicle parking here, which is great. While you go in to get your mayonnaise sandwich or whatever. My current things are Rose Pricks bachelor podcast that I do is Stephanie Wilder Taylor. That's been so fun. We did three preview episodes. So go check that out for the next season. And then I'm doing Grill Housewives of Beverly Hills, audio recaps. And those have been doing
Starting point is 00:03:16 really well. We were number 13 in ITN yesterday. Batch. Hi, Batch. Get off our turf batch. Yeah, so I can't make fun of Erica Jane because I say that shit to you You know, though, you know, it's funny. Can I I'm interjecting your what I'm interjecting you were plugging because you mentioned camera And I had a moment just now that's the camera calling right now. She's coming He's like what what are you talking about batch? So I went to McDonald's before this podcast and today I I am being, I'm fueled by McDonald's coffee today and set a Starbucks.
Starting point is 00:03:49 And when I was in the elevator, I looked down on my little coffee cup, and the lid says, caution, I'm hot. And I was like, oh my God, it's so tamarind. And then I rotated it, and there's a spanish version, and just said, caliente, and I was like, oh my God, it's so tamarind. And then I rotated it and there's a spasversion and just said, Caliente. And I was like, oh my god, and it's Vicki too.
Starting point is 00:04:08 It's a RHOC cup. Figures the cheapest cup you can get for the RHOC. I know, exactly. Oh god, my plucking's done. I don't have anymore. But I will say now that you brought up coffee at this week-ass bullshit at my mom's house. I don't know what this is.
Starting point is 00:04:27 It's like I'm drinking water flavored by, you know, my mocha cream, whatever that I buy. Basically, I'm drinking chocolate water right now. So maybe that's why I feel a little bit bumpy. Maybe your mom is an early adopter of. Peter's bro. You know what? Peter's bro. You know what I'm looking at right now? Everyone this has nothing to do with Bravo, but I feel like it's important to share. I'm looking at a hummingbird sitting on a ledge, just sitting. I've like literally never seen
Starting point is 00:04:55 a hummingbird that was not buzzing around. I've never seen a hummingbird just sitting still. It's just literally sitting there. Yeah, that's like a sign from a dead person. That's a dead person angeling you right now. Say hi. Oh, it's good. It buzzed off. It buzzed off. So they were over it. The dead person is over it now.
Starting point is 00:05:13 On that note, welcome to Watch Your Crappens. Everyone, go to WatchYourCrapins.com to find all our social media links like Instagram and Twitter and Vine while you still can. And then go to Facebook.com-forcelash-watchworkrap and because we have a huge community over there and everyone's just super active And it's a great way to extend the watch for crap and experience also make sure you have your voice heard because if you missed the previous episode Ronnie and I are taking watch for crap and on the road next year We're gonna visit about four cities and we're looking to
Starting point is 00:05:43 Pull you guys to see where the interest is. We want to go where we can get people to show up. So on the Facebook page there's a thread where you can go and chime in and talk about what city you want us to come to and something that'll make it a little easier for us. If someone said Chicago, whether in saying yes Chicago, just like the Chicago thing, you know, so that way we see that O Chicago has a lot of likes. If like 10 different people say Chicago over the course of like 60 different comments, it's hard for us to track it because we're too lazy to actually take out a pen and paper. The other thing is go to patreon.com forward slash watch or crap ends and that's how you
Starting point is 00:06:19 can support the show. You can support for as little as a dollar a per episode or really even per month and you get access to our bonus episode once per week or you could be really awesome like our super premium sponsor Madonna Hines with a sexy J. Magic. Magic. That's it. Oh, and also happy birthday, Jessica Martinez. Woo!
Starting point is 00:06:46 Happy birthday before Christmas. It's almost Jesus' birthday. Happy, happy birthday. Remember to wear new to underwear if you go to the self-hotel hotel for your birthday. Why would I bet that? A beautiful design. But that is. Oh, the unabashed anger and nonsensical anger of Erica Jane.
Starting point is 00:07:08 That was last stop about everything for no reason. I know. Almost the last time you saw a killer where I knew it on the way. I don't think so. Although I do have to make a special Erica Jane announcement because I'm always my biggest issue with Erica Jane is that she doesn't seem to have a sense of humor about herself like if someone makes a joke she's like That's like the sound that her video game character would make when it like runs into a wall But I love to joke the Erica Jane basically isn't even singing her music It's really Siri because it's put through so many computerized tones
Starting point is 00:07:50 So I'll make like little Siri versions of her lyrics or whatever When I came home my dad was listening to the Bible did I tell you this? He was listening to the Bible audiobook But it wasn't like an audiobook. It was a computer voice listening to the Bible. Did I tell you this? He was listening to the Bible audiobook, but it wasn't like an audiobook. It was a computer voice. I just turned like then both this lit to the, you know how they talk like that. And so I put on Twitter. My, I thought Eric Adjane was singing country music and my, or Christian music and my dad's office, but it turns out it was just the Bible audio book or whatever.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Read by Siri and she liked the tweet. Oh my. You know what? She's hard to read. I guess there's some truth that she's a an enigma riddle wrapped in enigma wrapped in cash. in an enigma wrapped in cash. Oh, gosh. You know, I mean, I actually have felt that Erica so far has been looser this season, but as we will get to obviously not loose enough, and yet perhaps do loose. But before we get into all the mysteries of Erica Jane, why don't we open up ye old crap and smell back? back. All right, we got lots of stuff in here. So I tried to be a little bit better today and read some of the questions ahead of time
Starting point is 00:09:25 because the problem is that we have so many questions in here and then we just read them randomly on the show, and then there's some that are time sensitive. And I did not want to miss any more time sensitive ones. So let's get a nice... If you all are organized. Yeah, I mean, when I say I've read them, I didn't really digest them. I just was like scanning to make sure, like, oh, I probably should read this one on today's show. So Benjamin Cohen, one of our most frequent
Starting point is 00:09:41 Krapins male beggegributus, Benjamin Cohen, says, would you guys be open to allowing a fan category to go into the crappies this year? It could come from Patreon supporters. You could pick the one that you think is the most clever or funny and make some lucky fans super happy. So it's funny that you mention that because every year I always personally have ambitions of making the crappies more like interacted with
Starting point is 00:10:06 our fans. And every year, we get too lazy. And we're like, oh, shit, it's time to the crappies we're doing the crappies. Yeah. And just, just also suggested that we let fans vote or, you know, the show fans vote. Not one fan. I hate saying fans. It sounds so narcissistic. Yes, I don't like that, but listeners vote. And we, you know, I was like, that's such a dirty, sorry, already did it. We need, yeah. So we actually pre-tapped ours. We did it because after this podcast today, I am hopping in my car and I'm taking care of my great Western FOMO that I'm getting because Ronnie's in Texas. I'm going to drive to Arizona.
Starting point is 00:10:49 So a little family vacay coming up. So we pre-tapped our crappies. But by that being said, the crappies are really fun this year. They are going to be coming out on Tuesday, Tuesday morning. They're already scheduled to publish. Tuesday morning, just like my favorite store. That's right. But that being said We do have some suggestions from from the gang of some categories
Starting point is 00:11:12 Lola Del Rio chimed in and said best background extra hungry for some airtime So my god, okay, let's do that one Okay, the nominees are by the way I like how we're still not letting the fans choose the listeners Great, that's a great idea. Okay, we'll choose No, no, we should do it now. Wait, did people did people vote on it already? No, no, no These are just suggestions for categories. Oh girl. Yeah, by the time we're back on this show is 2017 Well, you know, we can have a people's choice crappies, you know.
Starting point is 00:11:47 Yeah, we should do that. We'll do that. So I don't leave you that this week. Yeah. So we'll do the, and we'll have it hosted by Queen Latifa. So it'll feel very true to the form. And like mediocrely acted.
Starting point is 00:11:59 And for some reason Mel Gibson will get a nomination. People will be like, he's back. That's my favorite headline of the year, by the way. Mel Gibson is back. Really? Mel Gibson literally didn't go anywhere. Okay. So that's background extra hungry for some of your time. Which waiter would you like to choose? Well, let me think there was a lady who was watching a fight on something that was just hilarious. And kind of looked like he's Wilson from afar. What was that?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Was that Real House as a New Jersey? Those two ladies sitting in the corner during the fight in Vermont? Yes. And the winner. But there was also one at a party where there was this lady in white just kind of staring at uh... what my kitchen
Starting point is 00:12:45 what what what's that girl's oh yes that was yes she was just like it was behind her looking at the law it was a lot weird you're right there was that lady from jersey it was like the jersey extras are really the ones
Starting point is 00:12:59 that are the most excited to be on camera so wait so now the honorary crappy for best extra who is uh... most eager to be on camera. So wait, so now the honorary crappy for best extra who is most eager to be on camera goes to. Roddy? There was only one nominee. There were two nominees, the ladies and Vermont and the lady at the lures as party. Okay, I'm going to choose the kind of Casey Wilson lady who is in New Jersey just because I like Casey Wilson. Yay! I like Scott Wilson and also that lady just like stood there for a good 20 minutes
Starting point is 00:13:32 during shooting. I think she earned it guys. Okay, the next category which is offered by Benjamin Cohen is there are two more categories everyone by way, so everyone just calm down. He says, I would offer cast member that is just death and best character assassination of a male by a housewife, oh, so look at that. So Ben, he actually provides the nominees so we can see if we need to add on to them. So best cast member that is just death, I think this is, is this actually similar
Starting point is 00:14:02 to one of our categories this year? It might be, He offers Cynthia Bailey, Jacqueline Lareda, Carol Radzwell, Brandi, or is that maybe Brandi from Dallas and Yolanda. They suck all the fun out of their shows. Do you have any more to add on to that? No, no, I'm good with those. I think those are pretty good. No, no, I'm good with those. I think those are pretty good. Yeah, I feel like there's probably another one there to, you know, maybe an argument could be made for Jules Weinstein on New York City, but she wasn't, I mean, she did put a fork in a calzone, so I mean, she did something. She did, and she also talked about her dad's death while Lewand Kat tried to talk about something else. That's true, which is a classic moment as well.
Starting point is 00:14:47 And I think an argument could be made for Megan King. Edmunds this season with her like incessant pricking of herself with needles and insisting it's an emotional journey. So yes. Yes. Megan King's did bring it back home for me in the reunion. I loved her like only normal person at the reunion vibe and kind of telling everybody the truth But calmly like she didn't really even care to fight yeah, and also she brought it home for me when she
Starting point is 00:15:13 Went after her Heather. I thought that that was just so beautiful Mm-hmm, and when Heather came after her and she just sat there calmly. I thought that was so great So I can't give that award to her even though she kind of deserves it, but she is down, so don't kick her. Yeah, I think I would actually also offer up as a nominee Lisa Nicole Cloud, Lisa Cloud Nicole, Lisa Nicole Cloud, Cloudy Nicole's. I think she's awful. Like, and she brings, she actually brings the drama,
Starting point is 00:15:40 but it's so stupid, like it's so beyond stupid, that she, I think that she, so like your husband is obviously cheating on you that it's so stupid, like it's so beyond stupid that- So like your husband is obviously cheating on you that it's awkward to watch. I mean, I can't watch you crying over people questioning you wanting to have a baby. So I think that she is also a good contender. Shall I open up the envelope for this one?
Starting point is 00:16:00 Yeah, do it, man. And the winner for- Bum, boom, boom, boom, boom. The cast, the cast, the number that is just death. Bum, boom, man, and the winner for The cast that I remember that is just that Did my reading this one yeah, that goes to We get things again Rip Jacqueline the Rita She's just the worst
Starting point is 00:16:27 She's just the worst I would say she's just the worst. Yeah, I really thought Cynthia Bailey was gonna get that because Cynthia Bailey wow Exhausting to watch. Ah, you know what I almost I almost gave it to Cynthia Bailey. I mean the crappies nominating panel almost gave it to Cynthia Bailey. I mean, the crappies nominating panel almost gave it to Cynthia Bailey. But the foreign global press here with that for me. It's possible. That might be, it might be redacted. Cynthia might get it again. And then, okay, we have also best characters assassination of a male by a housewife. I can't remember any male of a housewife. Like where a housewife man told off a woman. No, no, no, a woman basically ruined the
Starting point is 00:17:11 character of a man. Oh, Lord, Bethany Frankel with Tom D'Accino would be a good one. Bethany Frankel will Jason Hoppy. Bethany Frankel with her chauffeur. Bethany Frankel with Andy Cohen. Bethany Frankel with like a guy she just met down at Starbucks. This is basically basically Bethany Frankel. Bethany Frankel. I can't think of actually any other. I'm Ramona singer with Tom Dacastino. Oh, but I'm very frankle of John. Yeah, Ramona singer with Tom Dacastino. Sonia Morgan with Tom Dacastino. Carol, and this is too old, but Lewand with Mario, because I still like when Lewand is like,
Starting point is 00:17:57 oh, I'm glad we're friends again, Ramona. Oh, I've been looking at tenders. It's funny. Mario's in there. I think Kelly Doddd Kelly Dodd with anyone really. Vicki Gunnville sin with David Bedor. Oh, God, Shannon with David Bedor. I mean, that's all she's done on the show is drag David basically for three years. Can you more with Matt? Matt.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Um, Matt. That you've been manipulative and you've been manipulative. You've been manipulative. You've been manipulative me and you've been immature. I've been exfoliatingly manipulated. Can you more with Tudy's husband? So I think we're gone about that one. You laid it Kenya more with two D's husband So I think forgot about that one. I think I think our leaders are really Kenya more Vicki Gunnville sin and
Starting point is 00:18:55 The cast of real house on New York City Okay, you have a drumroll bean and the wood and the crappy the honorary crappy for best character assassination of a male by a real housewife goes to. I say Kenya more. Woohoo! Woohoo! Woohoo! Applause! That was in applause for that one.
Starting point is 00:19:20 That was a surprise. I think that sheer number wise, Beth and he should have won because she really has taken down the most. But Kenya has just been the nastiest about it. I mean, it was like that sweet husband and dockers, you know, mom dockers or whatever. And then that was like trying to ruin his marriage. And then this one is just basically calling it due to abusive. She really, she goes down to the bottom of the barrel.
Starting point is 00:19:46 And I say when you're really trying to take somebody out, that's how to do it. So congratulations, Ken. Yeah. I think that Bethany is, her madness comes from her character assassination. It's not that it comes from a good place, but I do think it comes from a place of concern
Starting point is 00:20:01 where she thinks it's true. I think that Vicki's also, I think Vicki's also, I think enough comes from the place of concern where she thinks it's true. I think that Vicki's also, oddly enough, comes from the same place. I think Kenya is just more malicious. I think if someone comes for her, she's gonna hit back and she's gonna hit back harder and lower. It's actually quite unfortunate that Kelly Dodd has not had more opportunities to do some character assassination
Starting point is 00:20:21 herself because I bet she would be quite good at it, quite good. Oh, give her some time. Give her some time. Well, that was her warm-up season. That's assuming she comes back because there's some gossip today that she might not be coming back as I predicted. Oh. Which is a shame. I would be shocked. I would be shocked at that. That's a shame. I believe Michael Cook posted that on our wall. He's our little newsman. If it's not, if I credited, Michael Cook and correctly, I apologize. But he posted something with there was rumors about a new housewife and a suggestion that Kelly Dodd may not be returning, which I think would be a huge error on the part of Bravo,
Starting point is 00:20:59 but I think it's not totally surprising because she was so out there in her like awfulness that I think for viewers we all liked it. But again, I think I made this case on one of our shows that Andy Cohen has a line and even though everything he does with these women is like totally exploitive and deplorable and he ruins marriages and lives, he still likes to feel like there's a certain amount of classiness to this program. It's unbrawvo It's a little more elevated than an A&E or an e-show and Kelly Dodd drags it down to those levels
Starting point is 00:21:30 Which is bullshit because she's well also Andy has the line that doesn't like to be crossed where he gets Beat up on Twitter Yes, I think has gotten the most beat up on Twitter over how he treated Kelly Todd on watch it crap in or watch what happened. Great point. He was just blatantly anti Kelly, you know, it's like dude, at least pretend you're professional. You know, and he was just being a totally, a total asshole. And so people came for him on Twitter and, you know, you can say a lot, but don't go after Andy on Twitter.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Okay. Yeah. God forbid. My gosh, guys. Andy Cohen is doing these interstitials with Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Pratt for passengers. Oh, that is one of the most awkward soul-crushing things I've ever watched. Well, I didn't actually watch it. I just sort of fast-forwarded through it, but I want Jennifer Lawrence to know that she's
Starting point is 00:22:21 welcome to come on to watch her crap and anytime. And we will, for sure sure plug passengers as hard as she wants. Just come on our show Jennifer Lawrence come on our show come on our show. Don't do interstitials and yeah, I'm on our show. If the real watch what happens is that loose like and makes that little effort, then what does she expect from a podcast based on that shit? You know, she's probably like hell no, this is bad enough knowing the real thing. I mean, those passenger commercials, he's sitting there, he's like, hey guys, I'm with
Starting point is 00:22:49 the best, like most amazing movie stars ever in the world. Okay, guys, what's the best thing about this movie? Like, did you stay up all night coming up with that? And then what's his buns? The comedy guys like, well, it's funny. And then she's like, well, it's like different than whatever I've seen before but good job what you guys flew in for this yeah uh... well uh... so
Starting point is 00:23:14 you know what i'd like to learn to come on our show so that what we close up the mail back that was a fight little crappies of crappies preview you. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man.
Starting point is 00:23:31 Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man.
Starting point is 00:23:39 Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Man. Well sure, Bane. Okay. So it all begins with Rina and Amelia going to New York City to visit Delilah. Except they're tired.
Starting point is 00:23:55 I was gonna start doing remit laughing, but they're very tired right now. Cause it's like five in the morning. She's like, are they there yet? It's the car here. It's the car. Where's the car? Is it there? Open the door.'s it there. It's it there
Starting point is 00:24:08 It's like she's crazy even this early in the morning, and I love their her daughters. Just like I hate my mom I know they think they're basically the daughters are in doing an interview in the interview thing and they're basically like Yeah, our mom's crazy our mom's just totally totally crazy It's like I don't even get up this early to make fucking toast. I just imagine Lisa when I'm waking up at 5.30 in the morning and be like, wow baby it's the morning I own it own it own it alarm clock own it. Like how are you so awake? The alarm clock probably tries to press news on her. Like, it's morning. Oh my God. Trying to hit her. But it has no hands. Why do you think? Why do you think Felix the cat clocks have such big eyes? They're like, wow, Rina. They're like, whoa, baby,
Starting point is 00:24:58 well, baby, Rina's gonna wake up soon. Oh, that's why the eyes are going back and forth. Oh, that's why the I took going back and forth. Uh oh. It's gonna happen in a second. Good morning. Oh my god. It's morning. What are we gonna do? What are we gonna have to what are we selling today? She's just sort of like a like a musical on crack. You know I feel like musicals always have a scene where someone wakes up and it's good morning. If you say good morning everyone come on. I can't good morning, everyone, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on times faster than regular human mode. She's, she would basically do the Beauty and the Beast song where Bell walks through the town except five times faster. All the townspeople like trying to say hello to her and she's already gone.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Just as dust cloud. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, bye! Amazing fabulous morning! Look at that sun! Whoa! Great job, sun! Hey, there's a Look at that sun. Oh, great job, son. Hey, there's a piece in that castle. I own it. I own it. Okay. He's a beast. I called him a beast and I own it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's a nice. So next up Kyle and Maurizio, oh, no, Kyle and her kids Sophia, who also hates her mother.
Starting point is 00:26:25 I mean, like we can say they're in New York, by the way, it was the end of that sentence. Now we can say that these kids hate their mothers because they're teenagers, but they just hate their moms. We kind of get it. We know their moms on these shows. So I can kind of get why Sophia has her head turned away from Kyle the entire time. Of course, Sophia. She's the girl who had to endure an ear piecing trauma
Starting point is 00:26:52 like when she was 12 years old on TV for the whole world to look at and laugh at her. So no wonder why she hates her mom. Yeah, Kyle's just like, Pat, to wrap her around back and he, look at that Sophia and she's like, ah, just like facing away. wrap around back and he what look at that so fee and she's like Just like facing away like don't look at me. Yeah, it's nice to see in this family. I like how
Starting point is 00:27:18 Teenage daughters are the new little daughters because it used to be with Kyle all about Porsche Porsche Porsche Porsche we're gonna make Porsche a little actress But now ever since the Alanda made GG the number one supermodel in the world, everyone's like, now look at my teenage daughter. What's up? What's up? Yeah. Sophia takes tap class. It's too late. Sophia, we're focusing on the older kids now.
Starting point is 00:27:36 Speaking of, why haven't we seen Portia? I know, that's what I'm saying. I'm saying it's all about the teenage girls now. I don't like that. They have a little breakfast and Kyle tries to force some berries on Sophia and Sophia hates fruit and berries. Oh girl after my own heart. And she's like, mom, I tell you every morning you always try to give me fruit. And I don't want to have fruit. And Kyle's like, oh, okay, yeah. And then as they walk away from Taylor, she's like, I'm a cool mom, okay.
Starting point is 00:28:02 I'm like, I think maybe the word sad should be a substitute. There. I'm a sad mom who doesn't know what my child likes. Is this a part? Oh, no, they're not walking around yet. That's just how it's going to be going today, okay? They're not walking around yet. So I'll say that. Not yet. Instead, what happens is we go to Lisa van der Pan, who goes to visit Dorito and she's going there because she's time for her to buy a gift for Ken's birthday.
Starting point is 00:28:33 And Dorito has wonderful tastes, wonderful taste for Connecticut's rarely Japanese, a French or British woman. So you know that they're not really friends because she doesn't point out that there's a printer on the counter. You know, I feel like you're seeing really new them. She'd be like, is that a printer? What a counter. How else is boy George going to print out his lyrics while eating a scone? print out his lyrics while eating a scone. Well, well, well, well. How does he remember that, darling? So she's over there being, you know, funny, saucy vandal poms.
Starting point is 00:29:12 She's like, wow, are these gullanded countertops? I haven't been laid that flat since my wedding night, and I don't talk him out of the night. Of course, I know what you're talking about, because you're English, and that's what we do with making jokes about grannets By the way, and while Lisa was making these jokes to recap done laughing and I I tried to write it down to it Describe it because I knew since I washed it yesterday I knew I wouldn't be able to recreate the laugh today
Starting point is 00:29:36 I can't even remember how it goes but at the time it was so annoying. It was this gasping sneeze like So annoying, it was this gasping sneeze, like, I can't do it, I don't even know if that sounds like that. It's sort of a service, but it's like this, instead of like a chuckle, it's just this one sound that just comes out of, it's like a, it sounds to me like, it's like a gasping sneeze. It sounds to me like she's trying to do Lisa's laugh, because you know, she's always trying to imitate like she's trying to who leases laugh because you know
Starting point is 00:30:05 She's always trying to imitate whoever she's around at the moment. She's like a terrible Yeah, she's an even worse version of us basically A terrible alien. She's like a chameleon who gets around grass and turns brown by accident Yes, she's a gecko that gets stomped because it's like the wrong color of the ground Like the ground is green put but the get goes like bright pink. It's just like, Don't tie 15, don't tie 15, PK, yes, darling. But it sounds to me like she's following Lisa
Starting point is 00:30:35 around trying to talk and laugh like her because Lisa's like, and then to read it's like, I think she does that laugh that sometimes people do Where they're laughing so that they can't like catch the breath so she goes Lying Fleming where she goes I can't even I'm like honestly destroying my throat right now must have more McDonald's coffee Sir bullfrog in here It's like how to train your dragon.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Train your plumbing. I'm sorry, go ahead. No, I just said plumbing saying I was once a dragon. Flying by the sun. I just have trained you dragon. I'm tired now. I'm going back to my recent training. It's just a dragon doing yoga. Look, look, there's a dragon on its head doing yoga. How fun for that dragon. The dragon learns nothing except that
Starting point is 00:31:40 her father has cancer. She's like, I'd like to train you, Dragon. Unfortunately, I'm very upset because my father has cancer. And the dragon's like, bitch, are you gonna teach me anything or gossip? I'm not a rag, okay? How lucky for puff the magic dragon that he lives by the sea. Like my stepmother, that my third stepmother is furious about me telling my dragon about father. If I watch Game of Thrones, I could probably make more references. that is furious about me telling my dragon about father.
Starting point is 00:32:10 If I watch Game of Thrones, I could probably make more references, but I don't. I don't remember anybody's name on Game of Thrones. And I've seen every episode. I think everyone's named like Cersei. Yeah, well, she's the best one. I remember. Wait, is there someone named Cersei on the show? That was a total. Yeah. Yeah. She's the main, she's the main batch. She's like the baddest bitch on that Is she the dragon lady? No, that's She lean on we're gonna make people crazy
Starting point is 00:32:32 She lean on doing this No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, say my, say my. Now, Lena Harder would be a, would be a really inspired cast and choice. Is she, I'm not sure if she's still alive, but I'm never taught that. Say, say, let's just get all the Lena's together. Lena, don't know. Lena, from Game of Thrones. I'm Lena, don't know. Lena, don't know. I'm Lena, Donna, I'm Lena, Donna. I'm like, I just don't know if I'm into this relationship anymore
Starting point is 00:33:09 because I'm like in my 20s and I can't commit. I can't believe that dragon didn't say hi to me when I was trying to talk to it and flirt with it. Wow, such entitlement. Like, wait, we feel like a blob. We feel like a blob in Dragonville. In a one step, by the way, that dragon triggered me. In a headly, I think what I was thinking of.
Starting point is 00:33:37 Men of whom have to do with Doreet's stupid, tiny, least kitchen, tiny kitchen, right? For, I mean, it's bigger than my kitchen, but for a mansion in Beverly Hills, tiny kitchen. Tiny kitchen. Okay. So meanwhile, Erica, Erica Dam goes to rehearsal for, as long as... Yes, Batch!
Starting point is 00:33:58 Erica! You're a busy, busy girl! Yes! Shantay, Shantay! Great fun squad! Do something with your vagina on the floor. Yeah Yeah, erica's like I found some hot bitches I got I found some hot bitches cuz I'm like okay fun lane so I can talk like those hot bitches And then she's like
Starting point is 00:34:33 I've got hot type of hot type boom. They just live out. I mean while these the answers are like I have been training for 13 years and all you can see is my ass my boobs. Yeah. Oh, yeah, she's not a feminist. Ericka Jane for sure. No, I mean, I get what Eric was saying. I actually didn't take any offense to I didn't take any offense to it. I mean watch a lot. But I get also but I just think it's a tie that. Okay, so while Erica Jane is is hanging out with Mikey and her dancers now LVP and Doreet have arrived at the Jula and they put Harrison on the counter and Harrison's thesis everywhere. And so then they're basically wives it up with her sleeve for whatever. I just want to say one thing about Erica because I was laughing so hard when Mikey was like,
Starting point is 00:35:10 okay, we need to go be a list of everything to do today. Batch, okay, here's your last. Before the tour, we've got to do wigs, we've got to do makeup, we've got to do, we've got to do dance rehearsal and she goes, hey, would they at a time? It's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:35:29 And everybody kind of like bows and she's like, bye. And then she walks out. It's like, did you do anything today? What? And you drive from Pasadena for this. I know, I thought that was funny too. And I also, I loved the sick of phantished element of it. I'm like, okay, batch, we gotta do this, we gotta do this.
Starting point is 00:35:45 Hey, one day at a time. Oh yeah, totally, no, we don't do it any bit. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And then that little assistant in the back, she's like trying to write it down. And her name is Laya. Oh, I didn't see Laya. I was rapping so hard.
Starting point is 00:35:58 He's like, write it down, Laya. He's got a job. Hey. Hey Laya, write it down, bitch So funny just this little 20-year-old you know is not getting paid and she's just confused She's like pencil. Oh, can I text this? That Why you stressing out Erica Lai with all your requests Laiha?
Starting point is 00:36:26 That's just poor terrified Laiha, okay. Yeah, so so yeah, so yeah, and basically okay So they're like oh the dog the dog sneeze and Lisa uses Harrison to bite up the sneeze and basically they're looking at watches for Ken and Essentially they they find one watch where the bands the what the wrist bands can be taken out. And this of course causes Lisa to make her naughty, naughty jokes about rubbers. Oh, is it need a new rubber? I can't remember. Last time I needed a rubber. Oh, so naughty and hilarious.
Starting point is 00:36:58 And we say, she's like, darling! Who are you invitating? Stop talking like that. But yeah, they come out with one and also to fucking jewelry stores. You know, this was like a movie where it's like this nudie-ass lady and a sweater and like a shirt buttoned up like she's in boarding school you know, but she's like 50 and like the sweater around her shoulders and she just looks at everybody like their shit. You know, it always makes me think of absolutely fabulous when they get treated
Starting point is 00:37:30 like shit in a store and as they're leaving, they get kicked out and as they're leaving, she says, you only work in a shop girl, you can drop the attitude. And that's what these people remind me. If that lady is totally all judgy, it's like, you're some poor person in a jewelry store, get off your horse. I did not I My my takeaway was a security guard in the corner who probably is sitting there and probably like these stupid See they come in here with their dog they wipe it up. They're making these jokes about oh rubbers Arzones hilarious with like a $250,000 watch or whatever, $25,000.
Starting point is 00:38:06 It was $975,000. Well, the first one was, but the second one was last, but either way. Now, don't you think that lady was just being a bitch? Okay, she brings out this watch that's like a parade. It's basically a gay pride parade on a wrist, you know, and it's $950,000 or something, which is just who does that?
Starting point is 00:38:25 Who opens with that? Like, do you have a million dollars? And she's like, she said it looks like the big bang. And Lisa's like, the big bang, that's what King got on a wedding night, darling. And then she's like, no, I'm not spending a million dollars. So then her second choice is $25,000. I just thought that was really C-Wirty of the jewelry lady. She's like, okay, you want to be poor here.
Starting point is 00:38:48 Yeah, at least I actually took it. She's like, okay, all right, it's cheapest one you've got, great. Yeah, I think that just those, I think Bravo makes jewelry stories try out the big stuff for camera to be like, look how expensive it is, my Bravo. But speaking of retail stuff, we then go back over to
Starting point is 00:39:06 New York City where we learn that cabaline is opening permanently in the Hamptons and furthermore another outpost of cabaline kbkba is opening up in New York City on the Upper East Side so I automatically assume that Bethany Franco would be coming through because Kyle and Bethany are old friends and up inside and Bethany Coming like okay, all right. You're all business here Kyle by lean like I don't get it Is that lean stores like how store like I don't get the brand like what's what's going on here like white doing Swagging sort like what was the merchandise? Well, it's not finished Bethany I like like like how was nothing like you said you do it you just do it you gotta do it
Starting point is 00:39:39 You got that do it like I'll see my walls up my walls up can't literally can't. I need a care logo like what is that on the cries? Like Kyle by what? Well, blah blah blah blah. What does that even say? They just says Kyle by what that? But the whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa But we feel Aliens presence. Yeah, and not really poor Ali. I hope she gets some good residuals from this shit. When do we get to meet Ali? Because you never see her. I think we saw her like one time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:13 But she, I get a pink car, like a pink Hummer. I mean, it's so douchey, but it is Kyle. I get it, like a pink car. But it's a Hummer in New York City, stupid. Like it's already an ephdrophk, and it's not even pink. It's like Pepto Bismal pink. Somehow I missed this. Somehow I missed it.
Starting point is 00:40:29 I must have been looking down when she drove up to the store because I did not see the pink humor. Yeah, there's a Pepto Bismal pink humor. I'm like, oh, it's a rocker. You know, that shit is like very Los Angeles. Pink humor in New York City does not work. That does not work. People drive stupid pink cars out here.
Starting point is 00:40:47 I mean, it works because it's Los Angeles and everyone does ridiculous things. There used to be a pink Jeep that would park on the street over here. It's said like, it didn't say pussy wagon, like kill bill, but it said something about pussy on it. And it just said parking, that's just what it is. I mean, there's a van that parks on my street
Starting point is 00:41:03 every single day That is a pink van and I'm black lettering it says nude male maids like yeah, I was gonna say that's the nude maids van. Yeah, no no the pink Jeep was different from the nude nude maids Because there's the nude there's the topless maids van and then there's the nude male maids van All the wood everyone of them were pink. And I spent a lot of New York. If you're coming over to clean my house, please wear your clothes.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Yeah, other times it's good to be nude. Just, I don't know. Like, I don't need to dig in a swiffer in the same. I went to their website once, just to see what their nude male maids looked like. No, they need to really up their quality there. And on top of that, one day I saw some actually getting into the nude male van to like the driver of the van.
Starting point is 00:41:53 And I was like, if this guy is one of the nude male maids, this is a real problem for this business. It's not good. Not good at all. Oh, yeah, I feel like maids are people that don't need to be naked cleaning. Is that that should be the same? Well, I don't think anybody's amade right now.
Starting point is 00:42:08 I don't think they're really clean. There's I think Thrillist did an article about the new mount, the new made service and really what it's all about. So go check that out. But speaking of, speaking of Brandy, people to come over and not clean for free. Yeah. Speaking of Randy things, Rinna shows up in in Kyle's empty store and they are talking about how Harry has. Wow, this is amazing. It's just new. You work. What an amazing
Starting point is 00:42:35 store, Kyle. I love your color choices. Gray. It's an awesome meant. It's not finished. Yeah. She's like, sorry, I'm being so low key. I just woke up five minutes ago. This is amazing. Wow So you need help with your store cuz I had stores and Harry Hamlin built them from the ground up He even did garage parking. It was crazy Harry Hamlin can do everything The permitting process was easy cuz he knows all the LA laws The permitting process was easy because he knows all the LA laws! Uuh, wah, wah, wah, wah! Um, so, so they're talking about Harry Hamlin. She's talking about how Harry Hamlin is like really handy and can build everything.
Starting point is 00:43:13 And this leaves this little kind of mini montage of the women talking about Harry Hamlin and how handy he is. And so, you know, Lisa Vanderpump, she says, she makes a joke and I'm like, what, have everyone wants to come over? Maybe you can come over and check on my plumbing, okay? And then Erica Jane goes, well, if have I wants to come over and help me reorganize my underwear, draw.
Starting point is 00:43:37 And I'm like, see, this here's the problem. This here's the problem right now. Lisa Vanderpump, when she makes a joke about plumbing, that sort of like, witty, like witty, like, sexual innuendo. But Eric is just like a really bad attempted innuendo. Oh, come adjust my underwear drawer. Well, he could sell Bob in, I could sell out his face for a while. He could be my son chair.
Starting point is 00:44:03 It's like no, Eric. You're doing it wrong. Yeah. It's, you know, even that would be better. At least she's being overt. But it'd be one thing if she, I don't know, it was just such a bad plan where it's all my underwear drawer. There's like such an old man thing too. She's like like my husband likes to look at that underwear So naughty Erica you talked about underwear Even though she doesn't even wear any that was a fad line. I mean as we learn later in the episode That's true actually you're right. I am actually taking her to task for something that the producers probably told us you should say so apologies so producers You did her to service
Starting point is 00:44:49 Thank you for keeping that montage very short and not making everybody do it because I don't need to hear what Kyle needs to do with Harry Hamlin, there's like certain lines that just don't need to be crossed. Yeah, so meanwhile back over in Beverly Hills to reach So, meanwhile, back over in Beverly Hills, to reach off to a big day of doing the read things. And we see her baby and her little baby has a misshapen skull and wears a headband. She goes, oh he has to wear a headband and my girl is a helmet. It's okay, just call it a helmet. Stop trying to like make it sound, you know, like try to gloss it over. It's a helmet, baby, you can tell me it's fine. Lots of baby. That's what we call them in England. Doreet is ridiculous. First off, that baby, we don't know if it has a mischraping head
Starting point is 00:45:36 because we saw it in the actual reshaper. Yeah. But she's like, it has a mischraping head because it was laying on it side to munch. And I'm like, yeah, because you don't really have five nannies, you faker. She probably squeezed that thing out, just dropped it on the floor and just left it there for a week. I mean, who doesn't pick up their baby? If your baby is laying on the same side so much that it has a 90 degree angle on it's head, you're doing it wrong, okay.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Well, I mean, Doreet, uh, here's the thing. Doreet then says, and this to me is a very damning quote. She goes, I love my children more than anything in the world, but I mean, what else to have to say? Should there ever be a butt at the end of that? This was also a scene of her just trying to make us think that she actually makes an effort towards these children, which I'm sorry, I do not believe it for one second, but this whole scene, all of the nannies are in play in this scene, okay? And you know that this took planning to get them all in one different rooms at different times. It was like the opening scene of Lalla Land. and went different rooms at different times. It was like the opening scene of Lava Land.
Starting point is 00:46:45 A lot of them have seen it. I haven't seen it yet. It's just like a big production number with... It's a big production number. It's a big production number and you think to yourself, wow, how did they do that? That's Doree. It's like the get-over scene of that.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Said Lava Land. Lava Land. So Doree has all these maids and nannies everywhere and she's walking through going on taking jack up to the peak. I'm taking jack up to the peak. Hey, I'll be back. I'm taking jigger to the peak. Like she's such a liar. She ain't taking that baby to the park and all the nannies look at her like seriously bitch. And she just keeps announcing it a million times. No one is buying that you're taking that damn baby at the park. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:25 And and they pretty much all glare at her like Venus in Blitz over Broadway, you know, and when Doreet says, you know, the Nanny is on extension of me in every possible way. I'm like, yeah, tell that to Nanny, like who gets pulled over and it's like, yes, I'm just a white rich lady from Beverly Hills. You don't have to arrest me. They're all the pool pots of man. It was just so like, I'm just, it's so condescending ever to say,
Starting point is 00:47:58 maybe condescending is not the right word, but it's such a tone deaf thing. The extensions of me and these people, you know, these women are not, they have to deal with, you don't have to deal with things that they have to deal with. Okay, baby. She just gets like a nanny from every country,
Starting point is 00:48:15 so her babies can be as confused about accents as she can. She's like the training my babies in the United Benetone wave speaking. So we learned that Jagger has slow to start talking. But he loves to drive. And Doreet tells us that like, oh, he loves putting his hands in the steering wheel. I mean, it's all day long.
Starting point is 00:48:39 His hands are doing this, moving the steering wheel. And I'm like, oh, Doreet is that annoying mom who thinks everyone will find this anecdote about driving as funny as she does? You know, she just tells everyone, oh, you know, Jagger, he just loves driving the car. He just all day long. He's just pretending like he's driving a car and people at cocktail parties like, uh-huh. I think she's just never seen Jagger in a car. I think this is her first time and he's like played on the steering wheel. So she's like, he loves to steering wheel. Because she doesn't know what else to say, you know.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Oh, yes. I'd like to make a prediction that she's the New Yolanda as far as much thousands and giving her children diseases because her first kid doesn't even have a misshapen head, but it's a helmet. This kid is too, right? She's like, he's going to a speech stamp, his tongue would about, I was talking and whenever she talks to me, he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, he just doesn't understand what the hell she's saying. Yeah, first of all, if anyone needs to go to speech therapists, I like how I actually I like how I actually stammered through my speech therapists put down
Starting point is 00:49:47 Anyone needs to go speech therapists to read as I can't even get the words out my mouth. I'll be there with you to read I'll be next to you in the session Well, I think she's putting sicknesses on her children because people you know people do that to get attention Munchausins holer So I think she's got a mild form of munchowsons by proxies. And she probably didn't even have it until she what yeah munchowsons by proxy. And I'll bet she didn't even have it until she watched last season and got it from watching it because she picks up everything that sees around. She's becoming Yolanda. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Let's see now it's Eileen. Oh god. I mean, I mean, there's nothing really to say about it. Just sad. Every eye-lead scene is sad. Have you ever seen an eye-lead scene on this show that's not depressing? Like every fucking scene with her is sad. And I actually felt guilty. And I felt pretty guilty because I knew I was going to be saying that today.
Starting point is 00:50:36 And then she got to her, you're just like sad. That she's always feeling sad, you know, because like she's got so much stuff in her family, which I have no jokes about. And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, to her, you're just like, I mean, that she's always feeling sad, you know, because like she's got so much death in her family, which I have no jokes to make about it is fucking sad. Well, wait a go, Ronnie, because here she is trying to claw her way out from being embarrassed about having so much death and you're just shaming her for it all over again to send it right back to her tailione therapist. But
Starting point is 00:51:04 death, they're no death. she's just sad anyway. Even that seems where it's just her and Vince and nobody's dead. It's like Vince sitting inside with his sunglasses on playing online poker while she's trying to, I don't know, figure out what to do with her balance. Wouldn't you be sad? Wouldn't you be sad if you were the star of the Burbank Film Festival? My best years are behind me, and that's sad. These are the days of our lives. It's well, it's ironic that she's on a show called The Young and the Restless. Oh, so anyway, but either way, because her mom has recently died and she basically was packing up her mom's house.
Starting point is 00:51:43 And that's it. It's the end. And she's talking about how closing the door on the house is also closing the door on her mom's physical existence. I thought it was very sad. I mean, what do you think? One, that house is Tiffany Blue. So Doreet is going to hate Eileen. That's like a sign from the show.
Starting point is 00:51:59 It was Tiffany Blue not lying. And two, when she was trying to tell fun stories about her mom with Vince like wow look at this that they got all of this stuff out of here. I mean she was basically a hoarder and they've got all the do you remember all those clocks on the wall and you couldn't even sleep because they would just go off all nine hundreds of clocks. How does an hundred supported clocks? the wall fall 900s of clocks, 100s and hundreds of corded clocks. Rene Burson was like, I love the clocks. Own it.
Starting point is 00:52:29 I love telling your mom, own the clocks. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was like, God, even her trying to be positive in her miserable scene is her being miserable. Come on. Is that the most fun you could think of your mom having? Her corded clocks going off it to him? We're in the mod I lean maybe that's nice pun
Starting point is 00:52:53 You know that's probably why I lean is sort of so tragic and sad because she was raised amongst this sound The universal sound for boredom. And every time she tried to say anything, they were like, cuckoo, cuckoo, chicken, crazy. Was it in my head? Am I making it up? Or did you really say it like that? Am I crazy?
Starting point is 00:53:17 Cuckoo, cuckoo, oh. I love you, you have a Julie voice there for a second. I don't know how to do it. No, second. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do a crazy eye link. Because you never crazy. You always straight up. Oh, wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:53:36 So now we're back in New York and Delilah is meeting with, I think, a photographer and some people and Rina is sitting in, and this is for modeling, modeling, modeling, modeling. And D'Ala is looking at pictures, and there's a picture of Gigi. And D'Ala sort of wistfully says, I want to be Gigi. And you know that somewhere Yolanda was grinning so widely and not saying thank you. Also I suppose like if Gigi by proxy. Giri is charged.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Yeah, Rinna starts saying how, you know, she wishes she could reach out to Yolanda about this whole experience, whatever, tips, etc. But she said, well, I burned that bridge a long time ago, baby. And the funny thing is that it had been two years ago, well, I've burned that bridge a long time ago, baby. And the funny thing is that it had been two years ago, she wouldn't have burned that bridge. But now that GG has become literally the number one supermodel in the world, you know that Yolanda has, has, has, has vicariously made herself also the number one supermodel in her mind. And now she's like untouchable. She probably does not, you know, she wouldn't reach out to someone like Runaan anymore. This is in my head anymore. This is in my head. I wouldn't have to rent anyway. Yeah, yeah, she wouldn't
Starting point is 00:54:47 talk to her anyway. Yeah. So there, uh, Renna goes into Rina mode with the agents. There's like some hippie older lady model with like crispy crunchy hair. You know, she uses like rock deodorant. You know, it's one of those like probably has money, but like really needs to be centered. So she just doesn't take baths and stuff. So I was a photographer and then it was a bunch of gays and Rinna's like, whoa, like this is nuts that she's here because what I was having her out of a tiny vagina and I just couldn't get her out. And so I kept pushing and I was like, Harry, you do everything.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Help me. And he was like, just put his push baby and then he pulled out the drill. And I was like, don, you do everything. Help me. And he was like, just put a special baby. And then he pulled out the drill. And I was like, don't throw the baby, Harry. And by the time she came out, she had a head like a balloon. Like one of those long balloons, you make into a fire animal. This is long disgusting, hideous head. And Harry was like, oh my god, she's retarded.
Starting point is 00:55:37 And I was like, you can't say that, Harry. Oh, my vagina's still not the same. And she's dead. I still can't watch coneheads. The daughter, every time I see a banana emoji, I think of her head as a baby. The daughter looks totally horrified. And the gaze are what really made this scene because they're like, yeah, oh my God, that's amazing.
Starting point is 00:56:02 Well, an amazing tell. Oh god. Oh yeah. So anyway, back in Beverly Hills, Rocio is bringing Lisa Vanderpump and Ken, a platter of Pump's Ingrilla and LVP's Ingrilla. And they're having like a little birthday cocktail there by the pool and as they're talking Ken and Lisa Van der Pum my favorite part. I don't know if you noticed this the giant pink flamingo in the pool Just sort of floated up to them and just it's face was right in between the two their faces
Starting point is 00:56:40 It just looked like it was the warrior. It's like just like rolled up like what are we discussing? It was so funny I actually took a video of it and I tried to make a gift but the gift I mean I mean I can try to put the gift up but I just love the way this the stupid thing I just rolls on up like hello there don't mind me. I'm just gonna listen in on this conversation I'm sure it's gonna be thrilling. He's like, I don't want to buff that, but I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I'm going to be an Aussie.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Well, you know, Lisa, how she keeps replacing people before their dad. Like, Jiggy is still, I mean, I think he's dead for years. That's my conspiracy theory. I think he's really just a puppet. But you know, she's already got replacement, Jiggy, for think he's dead for years. That's my conspiracy theory. I think he's really just a puppet. But, you know, she's already got replacement jiggy for when he dies. Maybe she's just sick of dealing with people all together and that she's just gonna marry that flamingo once again is gone.
Starting point is 00:57:34 Yeah. It's her placement, Ken. It's her placement, Hanky. Hanky. This is flanky. Flanky, I just have a smam. So basically they were talking about his birthday and blah blah blah. And she gives him his rubber band watch, whatever. And he's like, that's just what someone on limited time wants.
Starting point is 00:58:00 A watch. Thank you. He's he's basically British brush Jeffrey, you know, of Barefoot Contessa fam. This is the best chicken I've ever had. This is the best watch I've ever gotten. This is the best thing I've ever had. Or be in my office looking at the laptop until you meet me again. Alright, just pull me out when you need me. I'll pull you off. That's for sure darling.
Starting point is 00:58:23 Oh, that's hilarious Lisa. Flank's like, oh! I'm trying to see what happened in the scene. I don't know. Okay all that happens that Lisa and Ken are gonna surprise Max with an apartment. Because he's worked so hard as a bus boy. We're gonna get him as an. Yeah, she's basically like, why isn't he asked us for anything, Ken? And we're loaded. He's never asked us for one thing. Is it because he's adopted, darling? Do you think that his mother had trouble asking for things to maybe we should find an ask her why Max just doesn't want anything?
Starting point is 00:59:00 Maybe she'll just mommy dearest it. She's like, here's an apartment here. Enjoy it. Cause tomorrow we're giving it to homeless people. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting hosted by myself
Starting point is 00:59:27 Megan Galey, Chris Garcia and Kurt Brown all are we will be your resident not so expert experts Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing nodding and thinking oh, yeah I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:59:59 You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Oh, I thought it was mine. Welcome to your new apartment complex. It's actually a no-kill shelter for dogs from you, Linda! You can sleep in the office. It's like a good fuck. Pay your rent to flanky. You rent, sir.
Starting point is 01:00:28 So let's see Kyle and Rina. Carl and Rina rooftop dinner. Rufol. Wow. This new York. Wow. The bow. There are people carrying around food on trace here.
Starting point is 01:00:41 Amazing. Good job. Are there comment cards on these tables? Can someone bring me a comment card? Amazing comment cards. 12 stars on Yelp, 12. So I'm really, and I'm really amused by Delilah and Amelia because they are such teenagers.
Starting point is 01:01:00 And Delilah, she's 18 now,, she has no poker face for anything. And it's great. Everything, you know, she's like, yeah, I'm 5'8 and nearly goes, you're 5'6." And Delilah was like, like that, look up a trail and like, I can't believe you found me out. The way she can't even hide her own lie is amazing. I love it. She's like, well, I just got measured today. So fight my agent about it, which is such a slam because the other girl, like doesn't have one yet. So Rinna's leaving them alone in New York because she's got to go hustle her tunics, baby, and Kyle's like, whoa, I can't believe Brenna's leaving her kids here alone. I mean, sure, my mom took me to CDO 54 when I was 10.
Starting point is 01:01:51 And yes, I gave my first blowjob before I was in the seventh grade to one of my mom's friends. And yet, but at least I wasn't, you know, alone. She was watching me do it. I don't know if I can co-sign on this fantasy fiction. You don't need to just turn the chapter darling. Okay. Well, I love the next chapter. I love how Rinna said, well, what's the worst that could happen? I mean, they could disappear. So yeah, I guess there's that. Yeah. That was funny. And she just starts laughing. That would be pretty bad.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Now by the way, Rina is a cool mom. That's a cool mom who leads you alone in the city and then is laughing that you might disappear. Well, that's cool. She's like, well, if Delilah Bell got on a milk carton, it would be her first modeling gig, so they're always in that side. You got to work for it, but you got to own it.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Own that milk carton. Delilah then announces that she's on a dating app and it's one of the fancy ones. And so the moms are like, what? Like you're 18, it's a dating app, this is crazy, that's technology, the courier, so fast. And I love how Delilah is like, it's not just for dating, you can form business relationships. I was like, hey, no, and be the sort of business relationship that you're forming on an app are not the ones that you can talk about on TV. This is this relationship.
Starting point is 01:03:11 Um, kids on apps. What else is here? So Delilah, Delilah, um, Delilah is reassuring everyone that she's not going to like go out with like a 35 year old because like 35 is too old. And then she asked the producer, how well the producer is, she's like 45, she's like, yeah, that's too old. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:30 Okay, well, there is a limit apparently to how old I will date. That's it. So now we go back to Sad Eileen. And she's going to therapy because there's too much going out on her life. And she goes, and I don't know if you noticed this, but the therapist looks exactly like Vince. Did you see that?
Starting point is 01:03:51 Vince with a touch of, with a touch of taillionie. Maybe it is Vince. He just wants to save money. Yeah. He's like, I'll become this role by whispering. It's another whisper doctor. She's like, I'll become this role by whispering. It's another whisper doctor. She's like, hi, how are you feeling? Good.
Starting point is 01:04:09 I mean, not good, but I'm here. Well, how do you feel about being here? Dear job. I actually like this therapist. I like the questions that she was asking, you know, she asked, well, she made Eileen dig. She said, why was the first time you felt grief? And Eileen was like, well, I guess it was when I was younger
Starting point is 01:04:27 and a hamster died. And I just realized I was embarrassed by my hamster dying. I'm fixed. I remember coming out of my mother and thinking, God, it's cold in here. Someone should put a little baby cap on my head, but they didn't. And then I started crying.
Starting point is 01:04:44 And I said, God, I'm embarrassed that I'm crying right now over a hat, but I was. And then I looked at myself in the mirror and my baby mirror and I thought, my God, I've a cone head. Get me a helmet. How embarrassing. The first time I put my diaper, I started crying because of the discomfort. And then I thought, who cries about discomfort, man up. But I was crying. I couldn't stop myself then I thought, who cries about discomfort? Man up!
Starting point is 01:05:05 But I was crying. I couldn't stop myself, and I'm still embarrassed to this day. I have a very distinct memory of trying to put a circle peg through a square hole, and everyone was correcting me, and I was just so modified as a baby. When that show of square pegs came out, I just couldn't bear to even watch it. When I was baptized, they put my head under the water and I thought I was gonna drown and I cried. And I felt the spirit of Jesus actually being embarrassed for me.
Starting point is 01:05:31 And I just can't swim ever since. I was like, I have a very distinct memory of being three months old. And my mother came up to me and put her hands over her eyes and she just suddenly disappeared and I didn't know where she was and I was so threatened and so scared and so alone and that she took her hands off and she was there all along and she said, be a boo and I was so mortified for not realizing that she had been there all this time.
Starting point is 01:05:58 I mean, Eileen is still upset that she didn't get 12 properly worded apologies last year. Okay, don't ask her to dig back to her child like her babyhood. When's the first time you felt grief? No, when's the first time you felt grief today? Okay, you're going to be here. You're going to be having this woman pay you for like 20 years. Sorry, my Facebook thing is going off everyone. I know you're not everyone.
Starting point is 01:06:22 You're not receiving Facebook messages. I am. I am. I am. It's not the most annoying thing. We hear a notification on like a podcast and you're like scrambling to check something. It's me. It's me.
Starting point is 01:06:33 It's been mouse clicking and Facebook. Can you still hear my mouse clicks? Yes. Why did you do something to stop? No, but I just can't believe you. I just can't believe you can hear them. I thought maybe it was like a one-day thing like the air is especially clear Like
Starting point is 01:06:52 It's the sound of the ring Um Well, I can't help it. I had to click the mouse. Okay. It's okay. I just like to give you shit because it's fun for me The mouse must be clicked. I'm so embarrassed It's my love language, darling. So, okay, speaking of love languages, Kyle is now back in Los Angeles and she's going to a white party at pump.
Starting point is 01:07:12 Now, I'm surprised she's not throwing a fit because as we all know, there's only one white party in town and it's at Kyle's house with fat burger. Yes, white people, party. Yay. She must have had a fight with the fat burger, direct. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:24 Yeah. You mean her son-in-law? Doesn't he like the air fat burger? Yeah, maybe he was mean. So Kyle, before they all go to this white party at pump, everyone's going to meet at the sofa tell and Kyle shows up at the sofa tell here in Los Angeles where the LAPod Fest was by the buy. And she's like, oh my god, I'm having a fashion emergency I'm wearing white underwear and I can see it through my thing she calls at least a van to pump it's like do you
Starting point is 01:07:49 have any underwear my Kyle there's a giant mall across the street just go in there buy some new to underwear that's a little inside our knowledge for people who don't live in Los Angeles there was a mall across the street a giant mall there is yeah it's called the Beverly Center at pump. That's not a cross. They were at the Sofittele hotel. Oh, I thought they were going to pump. Yeah, but they started it. Oh, they started it. The she is sitting there at the Sofittele alone staring at the Beverly Center, staring at it. Oh, my God. That's where our podcast festival was. That's what I just said. I was not listening. I'm so sorry, Ben. I was reading the lyrics. I don't always do that. I was not listening. I'm so sorry, Ben. I was reading the lyrics.
Starting point is 01:08:25 You've been caught. You've been caught. I don't always do that. I was just reading the lyrics to come on Eileen to see if they like matched real life, Eileen. Well, I think that violin in the beginning does. That's definitely like something going to read. It was work and they kind of do match.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Listen. Poor old Johnny Ray Sounded sad upon the radio, but he moved a million hearts in mono our mothers cried sing along who'd blame them Okay, they've said poor old sad and Our mother's cried in the first paragraph. I mean this song is so Eileen. Come on Eileen. Oh come on Eileen. That was good. That was worth it. I don't play the whole thing. But that also that opening up those notes are very Eileen. I love the Eileen's having her most sensitive episode ever and we're But that also that that opening note those notes are very I lean I
Starting point is 01:09:32 Love the aliens having her most sensitive episode ever and we're just dog priming shit upon her head and I actually We're talking about the shit, but I actually was like I thought her scene at home was really sad I enjoyed her therapy. It was I thought it was a good therapy scene and we were just tearing her apart poor lady She does not deserve it. I don't feel like that, okay. I feel like I feel by doing other things like eating and I'm not gonna do a podcast with my mouth chewing. So you're welcome everybody. I feel by being evil.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Okay, this is my version of sobbing. Yeah, we are being pretty evil today. I mean, I mean, I went in on Yolanda. She didn't even do anything. She literally did nothing. Come on, it's fun. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun anything she literally did nothing it is fun it is fun childhood Ben I'm sorry I'm sorry I just as come and I lean this playing and it just took me to a different place yeah and cows in
Starting point is 01:10:13 this scene so we can be more hateful than ever I think I'm just really angry that Kyle was complaining about was making other people bring her underwear when she could have just gone across the street and bought some and not only was she across the street from the Beverly Center, but she was Cadi Corner or Kitty Corner, whatever you say, to Atari it, okay? Yeah, Kyle will do anything to avoid talking about real life. I mean, if she has a scene and they're over, she's like, who wants to talk about Lee Savannah front?
Starting point is 01:10:38 If she's, she won't do anything like real or introverted, you know, she always has to, it's like, it's about my underwear. So I do like the Kyle eats because most people on these shows don't eat and Kyle is not about to waste a carrot tray. Cruditays are dragged in. So to read Vanderpump can PK, Erica, Jan, they all show up eventually. and it's a white party but Erica is going to be a little rocker role because she wears something that's very orca chic. It's like a white dress with a big black stripe along the side. Yeah, was that Kim Kardashian?
Starting point is 01:11:14 Yeah, but except the Kim Red Whale dress. Right, but the killer whale dress, her killer whale dress had, Kim's had two black things, I think, on the side where his Erica J and it's just one. It's's magical because I'm going to be different. Just get about the blood. Yeah, I don't give a fuck. Um, so we learned that Alicia Silverstone is going to be playing Kyle's mom on TV
Starting point is 01:11:36 land, which is kind of weird to think of Alicia Silverstone playing a mom, especially Kyle's mom, but hey, I love actually I love Alicia Silverstone, so I'm happy to see her working. I just thought of Miss, Miss, what is that show, Miss Match? Miss Match, which I liked actually. I liked that show. Listen, and then I thought of Alicia Silverstone chewing up her food to feed her babies.
Starting point is 01:11:57 And then I thought of, I don't know, and then I thought of people like, you know that fat girl who's in movies and they're like, my god She's fat. It's so funny. Oh rebel Wilson I Think maybe rebel Wilson or someone weirder because I feel like Kyle's mom Had to have been just like senior Kathy had to have just been like a crazy nightmare of a woman I agree I feel like it should it should just be fade done away playing young Just heard a wig and some young clothes and just make it fade done away. Yeah, it's TV land It wouldn't be the first time. Yeah, and now that I think about it
Starting point is 01:12:33 I'm just thinking mommy dearest because I guess because I mentioned it earlier. Just make it mommy dearest Okay, so um so they're talking about young and the restless they're talking about Erica's She got a gig on young and the restless right from Eileen She's a walk on and then Lisa Vanderpump was made some reference about how she asked Eileen if she could be on the show I'll be like well, I'm not sure about that and then that leads to Lisa joking about how she used to used to act back in the day She's like yes, she's like back when I was black and white movies, and then PK goes, silent films. And Erica goes, that's so rude.
Starting point is 01:13:11 I'm like, Erica, look, what? Why? Like, they really was not, and then Erica's like, I'm at least, I was like, no, it's not rude, it's English. I was like, yeah. And then, and then, she's like, well, why don't we just get a, why don't we all get fake British assets that we can be dicks to everybody?
Starting point is 01:13:28 Okay, well, well, to be before Erica said that though, the reason why Erica said that was because when Lisa said it's not really its English, to be because thank you. I don't know why people don't get the English humor? So obnoxious Not that people don't get English humor, but that she is Acting as if she is British right there and this is her humor. So that's when Erica goes well Let's let's get fake British accents and start insulting people and then Erica is Erica's you can see she is ruffled and she's trying to play it off and she's like, I don't know
Starting point is 01:14:05 Why don't we just like celebrate it may nice to each other? Yeah, and Lisa goes that's so American darling she goes we are the back Good old Erica to Erica Jane with all that all that humor inside her God no kidding that hilarious Erica Jane and Lisa Vanderprombs like, Maga, make America gigaligant darling. And then Dreeca's, you know, Americans need to like, she starts, she doesn't even finish what she's saying. She's about to say things like, that's how she's saying, Americans need to just relax. They just need to come and take a check and then Eric goes you're the American on your back America Come down
Starting point is 01:14:51 Come down Don't glitch It's just like oh my god. That's what I can speak as an American Because I'm an American who can speak as an American and a British person who can speak as a British. And Israel can speak as an Israeli. And as a Russian, I can speak as a Russian. I'm everyone. I'm every woman. It's all in me.
Starting point is 01:15:11 I can even speak with me. I forgot what I was going to say, but I'd like to also that Lisa Vanderpump was totally fucking with Erica to this whole time. She was just trying to get her mad because she'll never forgive Erica's spider web thing. So she just wants to piss her off like in a fun way, but she wants to get her going. So she's like, oh, young and the restless Kyle, they didn't ask you and you're an actual actress. Aren't you darling? I didn't hear her say things. Yeah. And Kyle's like, whatever. Is there more ranch? And then Lisa said another thing later about trying to make Eric a mad. So I think Lisa was like poking Erica, trying to piss her off.
Starting point is 01:15:53 And so Erica's anger came out at that time when it didn't really fit. But she's ready to go. And the minute she gets around the other women, she's going to be bringing this shit up, which I love. Yes. And so then to read, now that Erica has come for to read a little bit, by being like, yeah, if I'm gonna look at Erica, to read is now starting to come for Erica
Starting point is 01:16:11 in this passive aggressive way, which is starts to assess Erica to her face. She's like, you know, Erica, I get the sense that you're very strong and guarded, and what I'm trying to say is you're a huge bitch. But that's not what she said, but that's essentially what you're saying. You're such a slut in the daytime, but then when you open your mouth, you're just such a horrible, awful human being,
Starting point is 01:16:32 who's terrible to be ruined. And then at one point Lisa sort of reaches for Erica's underwear because she's seeing how Kyle's having an underwear issue. And Erica's suddenly Erica's back to being saucy. She's like, oh, I'm not wearing underwear. And then the best was when she started talking about she's not wearing underwear. I don't know if you could hear Lisa Vanderpump, but she became such a like classic old British lady. She just started Oh, they put on Bravo. They put this clip of on Bravo. Someone posted it on Facebook. So thank you for doing that and he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Starting point is 01:17:27 oh, oh, that's about right. So not wearing underwear, I'll be, come on. So then, Erica's talking about how she's such an introvert.
Starting point is 01:17:36 And to read, I don't know if Erica's, I would, I would actually believe that she's an introvert. I think it's very possible to be a big personality on stage, because the only place where you can live in that sort of personality, I mean, an introvert off stage, so I do believe her, but Doreet does not. And Doreet's like, no, you're snooty, frigid, but not an introvert. I'm like, uh-oh, here we go. This is what I like.
Starting point is 01:17:57 The first signs of cat fight. Well, we saw the first sign last week when Erica made some whatever joke that was and PK shot her daggers. Yes. Well, basically, Doreet said what we said, Erica's first season, when Doreet said, I mean, when Erica said that she was introverted, we said, no, you're just kind of a snotty bitch. Right. And that's, you know, people like to say introverted, but she's just kind of a judgy snotty bitch. Or at least she has been so far. I too am enjoying her more this year, because even though she's kind of a frigid snotty bitch, she's at least funny about it this year. Like this year, she's just
Starting point is 01:18:35 fine being a bitch, like she was doing her, her talking head thing and she's like, Well, I become friends with new people. I just, I say, you know, I'm cautious because friendship is a friendship is, you know, just give it away. Sorry. Well, I'm not really that good. And then she shipped her diet coke. I'm like, you didn't even say anything bad, but it just, just the way you're acting like you're so evil. I like that. Yeah, we appreciate that. We appreciate that. I appreciate that. So I appreciate the effort.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Yeah, so now it's after the light party, it's like the next day or two later, we're back at Doreet and Pique's Kitchen and they're feeding food to Jagger. And then once again, Doreet is just totally insufferable. Again, men's can anecdote that she thinks everyone cares about but no one does and even worse, this anecdote is so pretentious.
Starting point is 01:19:30 She's talking about how Jagger will just eat anything. He likes everything. She's like, I mean, I could order Shateau Brio for Jagger and he would like it. Isn't that hilarious? Then he goes drive his car. Oh. Shateau, he could eat anything from chapter, boy, to
Starting point is 01:19:46 ceviche and you would move it. Really, she just needs to shut up. But anyway, it's like she's like an apcot center, basically, just like a phony, not as far as the world. I'm not just flying. Yeah, well, has an appearance into PK being a total pig. He's all sweating all over the place, first of all, which I do too. So I'm just projecting, but he's sweating all over the place and he's like, well, that was a fun part. Last night, uh, pump was a pump and and Eric was vagina.
Starting point is 01:20:22 Well that was quite a sight. It was like, did I order an appetizer or a vagina, Taza? Am I right? Like, what do you mean? I mean, it's like, have a John almost came out and shook my hand. Oh, my God, you need to stop. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:38 If you look at that clip back, which I had to get screenshots, his eyes are just going down there the entire time. Every time she talks his eyes go straight to her back. And Doreed, see now Doreed is being real evil now. She starts suggesting she doesn't say it, but she says she starts saying phrases like, well, if she were doing that intentionally or I wonder if she's doing it on purpose she starts to imply that Erica deliberately flashed pk Which I don't think is the case at all. I mean if Eric were to deliberately deliberately flash anyone it would not be pk It would probably be no one that was sitting there so
Starting point is 01:21:16 But to read a sort of suggesting it and then being playful about like, ah, but she's putting it out there and it is real That's really evil and honestly it's pretty disgusting that they're talking about Erica's vagina and how he was looking at it on TV. I mean maybe talk about it enclosed in you know behind like off camera or like in the bedroom like oh my god I saw her vagina or whatever, but they are going out of their way to talk about it on TV and I don't think Erica did it on purpose. She probably didn't realize what was going on. It's actually pretty mortifying. And I think it's really gross of them. And then to even go so far, to be like, well, if I were sitting in front of a man,
Starting point is 01:21:53 I would be doing whatever I could to cross my legs, put an napkin over, which is probably true. But the implication is that Erica, like the fact that she wasn't, that perhaps she was leading Piquet honor, maybe she was being a little bit of a mink, or whatever, and it was, there was a touch of slut shaming in there, there was a touch of bitchy territorialism in there.
Starting point is 01:22:17 It was all like really gross. Well, also, to believe that that's true, you would have to believe that she was flashing her vagagic Kyle because Kyle was sitting next to him. So like already this, I mean, look, you could say a lot about a person's sexual proclivities, but I guarantee you she's not trying to fuck Kyle. Like who's trying to fuck Kyle, you know, like that automatically shoots that theory down. I differ a little bit on Erica because I do think Erica probably did it on purpose, not for PK specifically, but I mean, that girl gets her attention based on her vagina. Everything she does is based around her vagina. Like she literally grabs
Starting point is 01:22:54 it and puts a close up of the no one. But no one, she's no one. She's off stage, honestly. Like she was in a tiny little skirt with no one around her. And was, you know, but she's still in Erica, Gerardimo. Like, what I'm all thinking, but the, I mean, I don't care if she flashed her not, like, I don't care. But I mean, our whole theory about Erica is that she likes to say that she's Erica Jane and to, she's like, oh, I'm sexual a little bit of, but the truth is she's like, really, really buttoned up. And I think that probably extends to this experience. So even if she's wearing this dress with like a black thing on it, she's still buttoned up and I don't think that she would have deliberately flashed anyone.
Starting point is 01:23:30 And I think also to make it even shadier that to read then says at the end of this whole scene she's like, I think Erica's got a good sense of humor. So let me have a joke with her. So she's being super shady and then saying, but by the way, it's all a joke. That's all. And if you have and clearly and like if you don't get it then you don't have a good sense of humor. So she's being super shady and then saying, but by the way, it's all a joke That's all and if you have and clearly and like if you don't get it Then you don't have a good sense of humor. So she's putting Erica now in a situation where if Erica gets mad now Erica is the crazy one But no you guys are being the gross ones you guys the ones talking about her vage and you guys the ones making all these really Like sort of nasty and situations about her and then
Starting point is 01:24:04 Putting this bow of oh, it's just a joke on on top of it. No, about her. And then putting this bow of, oh, it's just a joke on top of it. No, I'm on Team Erica with this one. Yeah, well, I'm never gonna be on Team Doree. And especially when, but I do think that Erica obviously uses her sexuality as part of her personality. And guess what, that's okay. Especially in Hollywood.
Starting point is 01:24:20 I don't care if she sat there in no underwear in a short skirt, someone saw her badge like, who cares? Like, I've literally seen so many badges that way. And I don't care if she sat there in no underwear in a short skirt, someone saw her badge, like, who cares? Like, I've literally seen so many badges that way, and I don't care, and I don't consider those girls' hoars were going out, like who cares. But I, and this is one of the reasons I'll never be on the right side, because she says something like this. P.K. is a polite person, and he's never gonna say
Starting point is 01:24:43 something in a group that's fundamentally uncomfortable. Like, yeah, really, first of all, congratulations on getting fundamentally out there because I know you probably worked on that all week. And second of all, he just talked about a woman's badge after slaubering all over it, the scene before this, on national TV, please stop telling me how classy your fat sweaty husband is. Exactly. And I know he broke too so stop front
Starting point is 01:25:07 but but you know that though at the end of the day i'm loving all this because to me this is how the best uh... seasons begin the day you know we have the first episode the season is polite like overback whatever tying up loose ends for the previous season second episode is now we're trying to move into it there's a new character new new person episode is now we're starting to move into it. If there's a new character, a new new person on the show, we're starting to get into it. You get the very first faintest glimmers of
Starting point is 01:25:30 a feud. So faint, you may not even realize it. Third episode, then a little thing happens and it's the first big seeds of the fight. Because basically, the first, the friction started last episode, like I already mentioned. And then when Erica, when Erica basically made fun of Doreet for her accent, or for pretending to be British at Sofatel, that's what got Doreet angry. So then Doreet starts coming at her about being guarded.
Starting point is 01:26:02 And then Doreet's really really to reach come back is to now It's start talking about all this vagina stuff, right? Yeah, this is all a response to Erica being like you have some Connecticut And so the next week we see that to read goes and tells everyone that she wasn't wearing underwear She just and that she was flashing PK. She tells everyone and then she buys a passive-aggressive gift of panties for to read This is very chamele and Kyle season one with the book about the manners or whatever. So I actually am very excited to how this petty feud will develop. And if it's if if we're lucky, it's going to be one of those things that's going to snowball all
Starting point is 01:26:39 season long and by the time they go on their trip, it's just going to be unbearable and wonderful. Yes. Oh, I'm loving it too. This show is known for its fight over nothing, and this looks like it's gonna be a long-lasting one. Sure. Well done. What do you want to do next, being in? Why don't we go to the Ladies of London, who are still fighting in that partin? This show.
Starting point is 01:27:03 Amazing. So funny. Such a good episode. So hilarious. This was a very long stressful episode. Like it started right at the fight from last week, and that just went for another 20 minutes. Yeah. They're basically, and then it was in the other fights and other sadness. It's like never stopped this episode. There was a lot of stress. Yeah, a lot of fighting. Basically, yeah, we picked up right where the last episode left, which is Caroline Stambury,
Starting point is 01:27:32 storming out of the dinner party at Mapperton because Adela and others were coming after her. And I love that while she was having her hissy fit, it just cut to Caroline Fleming, just eating asparagus. She was like, it is so delicious. How could you fight around such delicious asparagus? Just the way they talk on this show is so funny.
Starting point is 01:27:52 Caroline, I beg of you. I beg of you. I beg of you. I pray I beg of you to stop. I beg of you to stop. And it does like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh you guys I kept repeating these little things I also like how Caroline Fleming busted Caroline Stanbury in her interview is like I don't understand I mean Caroline
Starting point is 01:28:18 Stanbury has rules you know if you go to her house you have to take her shoes her shoes off she has rules I like, that's a rule. Point for for for flaming. Yeah, she did. And she, she's so funny. She goes, this, wait, let me look for the line. She goes, she's having a massive breakdown right now where the rules versus no rules.
Starting point is 01:28:40 But the food is just too good. I'm not going anywhere. She's still on about that fucking seabass. You will not get over it. How lovely is this seabass? Does this seabass not have the most wonderful flavor? And then everybody trying to support Jules was cracking me up too,
Starting point is 01:28:59 because the fight wasn't even really with Jules. Like, you know, it kind of moved on to Adela. And so Fleming is still, I don't even think she's paying attention. She's like eating that fucking sea bass. And then she's like, it was your first weekend here as a hostess. Like, okay. Okay, Caroline, we get it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:23 Um, so then, uh, Sophie, Sophie wants Juliet to stay and not leave with Caroline. And Juliet is going through some strange psychosis during this entire thing. She's like, I'm not going to be influenced by people in my head or women. I'm a woman. I can make decisions. One thing I am is loyal. I'm a woman. I can do what I want because women make their own paths. Like she's freaking out. And they're like, no, stay. Like, what am I on a leash? Yeah. Well, you are being pulled outside. Yeah. Stop acting like a terrier. Maybe people won't treat you like a dog. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, So, No, I do not have to come inside and talk. I don't have to do anything but stay a wet lady and pay my taxes
Starting point is 01:30:28 Like, but please come inside She goes listen. This is my car my driver my home my turf. Yeah, get it And what I loved about that was that your Caroline Stambury is throwing a fit about don't make me follow rules. I don't want to follow rules. I don't don't give me rules. I can't have rules. No rules. No rules. No rules. No rules. Now here's my drive. I will do it. What I say. That was really great. Go get into a car where you're going to order someone around after complaining about rules. Yes. So she is having a fit.
Starting point is 01:31:05 She leaves and jewels is now something has happened to jewels. Yes. This is empowered jewels. Sometimes she's doing this weird poised jewels thing where I guess now that she's officially in the house, she's like going to switch over to this new personality. And it is hilarious. I don't know why I was laughing so hard, but I know that she wanted to start sobbing. But yes, she couldn't. And she didn't look like she did.
Starting point is 01:31:30 But you know, just because you know, Jules, that it's in there somewhere, but she's like, well, I did the best I can. And now we shall have appetisks. What, who are you? She's like, well, time for putting. And she tells us, thank you for staying for putting and thank you to for actually eating the pudding. And then Adele goes, well, I've known it for a long time. And you know, she'll be fine. Sometimes she just gets upset and then it goes away. And so if he goes, well, she did say that she's picked you up after the gutter a few times.
Starting point is 01:32:06 And she's like, oh, well, some might say I picked her after the gutter. I don't know. It's just that the lip and all that. So so then the next the I'm sorry, it's not the next money, but it's the later Juliet. There's a lot during the lobby. There in the lobby. They're in the lobby. They're in the lobby of the hotel,
Starting point is 01:32:26 Juliet and Caroline and Juliet tells her version of the story of what just happened. She tells Caroline, yeah, Sophie was like, you stay! I was like, that was so not what happened. I was so, she's like, oh, darling, would you please stay. We want you to stay. Juliet's version was that she basically held a knife to her throat.
Starting point is 01:32:43 Yeah, she's like, like, jewels like she was like trying to tie me to the thing. And I was like, stop it. I'm a woman. And then Luke goes, well, she's just trying to keep everyone happy. Isn't she that Jews just trying to make everyone happy? Like, she was the hostess of a party. That's like what she's supposed to do.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Yeah, that's, that's in the job description. And Jules tells us her biggest lesson learned was never invite them again. Yeah. And then she makes Andrew the Butler ruin his career by having a drink with a guest. Yeah, she insists that Andrew drink with him. And you know, somewhere Leslie Barrel and Enthia were furious. Yeah, they're watching the binoculars from a tree. Like, oh, look at that now.
Starting point is 01:33:24 I have Andrew to the Butler. I say this. This entire map of turns going down to the shit. Next, he'll be wearing a logo on his sweater. Speaking of which, Leslie, did you stuff the gift bags full of all those wretched tea towels? Good. Yeah, you know the subreddit called butlers. Everyone's like ranting and raving about what a dick Andrew is. Yeah, he betrayed us. I mean, we all know that the butler and down happy would never do such a thing. Oh my god, he would have had a heart attack. Yeah. I'm afraid so that I cannot do that. I must tend to Mrs. Padmore downstairs. The second I lift a glass with the Elder is the moment that I hang myself from a tree
Starting point is 01:34:07 Whoa, it's a drink. Yeah, I guarantee the staff at Mapperton were way more scandalized by Julie why not have a drink with her butler than the uneaten puddings They were because that cook looked miserable in the morning. They showed the cook and she was like You know, I thought the cook was barrel, but I guess the cook was Joe. Maybe barrel is the morning cook and Joe was the evening cook. I'm not sure, but whoever it was was one pissed off old late. She was just walking through that kitchen like, it reminds me when I went to a wedding nine years ago,
Starting point is 01:34:39 I was in the South of France and I stayed in a bed and breakfast as my first time staying in a bed and breakfast. And there was like between like the jet lag and this and that I basically slept in until like 1 p.m. or something. It was some crazy thing and then other guests at the bed and breakfast were like, ooh you have to speak to I think her name was Caroline or something like that. Oh Max. Her name was Max. Oh Max is really upset because you didn't come to breakfast. I was like, oh really? She was likes like oh mags is really upset cuz you didn't come to breakfast I was like oh really she's like yeah, she was like really really upset
Starting point is 01:35:08 So I had to go find mags upstairs in the main house and be like oh, I'm really so sorry I missed breakfast I just slept in I'm so sorry. She's like oh, that's quite a lot to talk about it But you know she is having a fucking cow down there early. Yes I made mags so angry down there earlier. You're serious. I mean, mags so angry. But mags also serve the next morning. Mags served the best croissant I ever had.
Starting point is 01:35:29 So I was wanting to really miss out because I missed two days of excellent croissants. Well, I wish that you had tortured mags. She was like jewels was torturing her pissed off cook because jewels does things that you know just makes them like they would have aneurysms, you know, like they look like they're about to lose it with jewels. And she's like, look at me, I'm wearing a camouflage t-shirt and speaking on speakerphone loudly in the kitchen. Oh my god. She hates you this woman. Yeah, barrel was so angry. She's like, no, Ling and Barry jump for you today. She's talking to Marassan about who cares. Yeah, so now the song and I think you're right that it's like one lady
Starting point is 01:36:09 Who's just paid to make all these songs because it's always the same lady and they're always so stupid And I feel like she probably gets so many notes that she just is like fuck you and sends in some stupid thing and they end up taking it Yeah, but this one was it's a beautiful day. It's a beautiful day. It's such a beautiful day. I don't have to go fishing if I don't want to because I just want to go shopping, shopping, shopping, shopping, no fish shop shop. That's what they do. Beautiful day. shop shop. That's what day beautiful day. Drasing coast. There are no dinosaurs here. Just lots of fishing and beautiful scenery. I don't want to go to Drastic coast. I want to
Starting point is 01:36:54 go to London town. They're pretty much just higher like the lead singer of Lauru and I was like, okay, here, just think about things you're seeing in the episode. Just watch this episode and pick something. We don't have any sound to it. Just get angry about what you're seeing and sing about things you'd rather be doing. And make proclamations about yourself. I'm just a girl, a girl at the Jurassic Coast on a boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, British.
Starting point is 01:37:27 I was laughing so hard and this had like five original songs and they were all just hilarious. They were. So the next scene is the next day and it's fishing meetup. It's the fish meetup or whatever. And Sophie's like, well, it's a new beautiful day. beautiful day. Beautiful day. Cut back, cut back the sofa. That's true. It's like real. Little, we're not, if you don't watch this show
Starting point is 01:37:50 and you're just listening because you want to listen, we are not exaggerating. There were like 10 of these generic public domain, British, petalent songs. That's, that's oddly fit. So funny. So she's like, it's a new day. So I'm going to ask Caroline if she would like to come with us. And everyone's like, oh, good luck with that.
Starting point is 01:38:10 And Fleming goes, no one can turn her. She's not even my great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather. I could turn her by modeling her. She's like, she's not going to get out of bed. I know her. And of course, she's in bed with Luke. of bed. I know her. And of course, she's in bed with Luke with Luke. And by the way, and go ahead, no, just to say she's
Starting point is 01:38:30 in bed with Luke. And again, this is miss. Don't like, don't tell me what to do. No rules. Get the door. Get the door. And we also missed last week when she was in the car and she goes forward. Stop. She did that again last time. I don't even know how I watched. I opened the wrong ladies of London. She's like, forward. It's great.
Starting point is 01:38:59 I let her Luke just hops out of bed. He's such a good guy. He is. He's a good employee. Yeah. He's like, I slept like a baby last night. There wasn't a single crazy woman yelling like a fishwife. We should have nominated him for best friend employee on the upcoming crap ends. Crapies. Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. He might have won. Sorry, you lost him. You weren't even nominated. Yeah. You're not even grateful to be nominated because you weren't and you deserve to be he knows that man knows a good cable knit sweater He does he has the he has the best cable knit sweaters on all TV
Starting point is 01:39:34 You know how many grinder hookups have been ruined because he's been called to pick up Caroline too soon Just like come get me live. Oh Sorry, sir, I have to get off your dick come get me, Luke. Oh, sorry, sir. I have to get off your deck. Oh, mom's got a caveat on her hair again. So Sophie comes over to or Sophie comes into the room and she's like, oh, I just couldn't believe you were so upset.
Starting point is 01:40:01 And it just seems like you and Adele have got this thing that's been brewing for about what three weeks now. Yeah, ever since you started it three weeks ago. Yeah. So yeah, it's week three of the show. Yes. And Caroline's like, well, frankly, you and I aren't getting on that well right now either. Are we?
Starting point is 01:40:20 And she's like, well, I'm not having anything with you. And she's like, you're not listening to my side. You're not listening to my side. You're not listening to my side. Listen, she attacked me in a shoe shop. She attacked me at dinner. I just need her to back off. And she starts doing this thing with her hand, like the stop motion.
Starting point is 01:40:38 Yes, she does that. She's looking at the stop motion in Sophie's face over and over for the rest of the scene. And she's like, I'm very hurt. All right. I'm very, very hurt. I pray I pray for you to leave me alone. I pray.
Starting point is 01:40:52 Ha ha ha. I beg of you, please, just leave me alone. And then she whips her hand in her face a few more times. She goes, I want you to leave me alone. Pray. She's like, all right. a few more times, and she goes, I want you to leave me alone, pray. She's like, all right. We have to pray just to make it today and to get you to leave. Pray, pray, pray, I'm a girl, prays.
Starting point is 01:41:14 I don't want to go to church. I want to go fishing, fishing, fishing, no church. I pray we can go fishing. That was the transition music from once into the next in my head. So then the other woman are outside. Dab, dab, dab, thanks for the grub. Yay, gold, let's go fishing. Fish, fish, fish, fish.
Starting point is 01:41:31 Hey, it's not lent, but I'm having fish anyway, because I want my fish and have it too. So the other women are outside. They're talking about Caroline Stambury and Adele, you know Adele is like, well, um, the other women are outside. They're talking about Caroline Stamber and Adele, uh, you know, Adele is like, well, I think it's rude, awfully rude that Caroline Stamber isn't coming fishing. And then Julia's like, well, you know, you kind of annihilated Caroline last night. And then Adele is like, the word and not it is slightly extreme. Thank you. Like when she's wrong, I tell her she's wrong.
Starting point is 01:42:04 She goes, well, but that was your first time and it was with all of us girls and like, that was not cool, Adela. Okay. I'm leaving. No, Jules is like, I'm leaving. I'm a lady now. And I will be leaving during this fight. And she goes, yeah, when you're a nasty person, Adela, and your true colors are coming
Starting point is 01:42:24 out and they're black and white, black and white, black and white. Yeah, Adela's like, um, terribly sorry, but you do remember that I'm British, right? And I will always win this one. Yes. Okay, good. She's just sat there kind of staring at her silently and she walked away and then she goes, Caroline, Stamberg doesn't need anyone standing up for her especially Juliette the woman's nuts. I mean she's just like a ventriloquist dummy with less personality. So next up Marissa is packing her suitcase with with evil smart ass Manny. Yeah the Manny's like what shoes should I again? Yeah, Marissa is headed to the Hamptons for Matt's mom's birthday without Sadie the Recently so sick had to go to the hospital baby and
Starting point is 01:43:16 Mercy explains well Matt's mom's birthday has to be in the Hamptons. It's where we celebrate all of our family moments I'm like how many go to a Hamptons Inn instead? Okay, and just pretend it's nice Take a take a take a bear for contestant book and then you'll pretend you're there on the ground And as we're going like we have to be in the Hamptons at every time and you know, I would take her but Well, we do this thing where we take each one of our children on private time with mommy and daddy And it's just not her turn. And it would just be cool of us to mess up our other son. So we're going to take him like she was kind of explaining too much like she obviously
Starting point is 01:43:56 felt weird about doing it or she knew it was weird to do it. I don't care. I mean, well, yeah, I maybe don't know anything. I don't care either, but I only care if you're going to be crying. Like, I feel so bad about it. Like, you know what? Like, make your decision and just go with it. But don't tell me that you feel bad about it, because this whole thing that
Starting point is 01:44:17 well, we made a promise to our son. It's really important that he gets this week alone with us in the Hamptons. That's bullshit. Okay, you're the parent, that's the child, and you can just change it. And the fact that you are not bringing this baby because you made a promise of the older son that you're gonna take him to the Hamptons for the weekend, or just that you're having a private weekend,
Starting point is 01:44:35 makes me think that sounds gonna be just like a spoiled brat, because you're basically letting the kids call the shots, right? Just say the kid, listen, we're gonna do a different weekend. Mommy and daddy can't do it this weekend because the baby was sick and we need to have the baby or whatever. But yeah, the baby is almost died twice, so we're staying home.
Starting point is 01:44:52 Yeah, and it's probably that they are so sick of all the baby drama, they just wanna get away from the baby, but they feel bad saying that, so they're just gonna pretty much pin it on Max. Yeah, she can't just say, I resent that little sack of goo, so we're going to the Hamptons. She has to say, like it's someone's 80th birthday or whatever.
Starting point is 01:45:09 Yeah. So, um, Jolly Jolja. I was going to say, the perfect transitions that we go from Marissa to Worms. And a typical ladies on a housewives show. Like you Worms. Well, most of them were like that. a typical ladies on a housewives show. Like you, worms. Well, most of them were like that. Caroline Fleming was sitting there like she was posing for L.
Starting point is 01:45:30 She was just like one hand, she was like lying next to the worms, one propping herself up with one hand, the other one resting on her raised knee and just taking in the sun. Like did somebody say, well, all the worms, the most beautiful creatures, I think they love the sun almost as much as me. Did somebody say, well, aren't worms the most beautiful creatures? I think they love the sun almost as much as me. I love fishing. And then she tells the, there's a guy's like, welcome to the Joller Roll
Starting point is 01:45:52 job. We're going to fish on a boat. And she goes, well, I'm here to fish. And he goes, he's like, you're a fisherman, ma'am. And she's like, Oh, yes, I've been a fly fisherman. I'm here to fish. That's her version of turning up at a party. You know what, most people show up to be like, I'm here to party, she's like, I'm here to fish. Oh, I am so out of control right now.
Starting point is 01:46:20 I need a designated travel. I'm here to fish. Do you fly fishermen fishermen fish man? Well, I do You know that song turned down for what I turned down for fishing Okay, a river runs through it Sure, I've been one one of my previous jobs. This is the perfect storm of relaxation. I've got sunshine and fish. Julie, it's like, I think I got something. Well, I got a huge big.
Starting point is 01:46:55 Like, that's nothing. Your line is weighted. She's like, no. The only thing you've caught is more tackiness. And then it does. It's like, I can't fish, I shall lie down, I'm a party girl, party girl, I'm a party girl, party party nor fishy, only party in the fishy. I don't want to fish, I want the song, I'm going to sunbathe all night on the bay. The music just plays whenever I'm in the deluse as soon as she takes one step transition music starts RJ wants to stand here. I want to stand there. Dada Dada
Starting point is 01:47:34 So who actually catches the fish well Julie catches a dogfish and she's lying. Julie's like is that a dogfish? Is that a dogfish? It's a dogfish? It's a dogfish! I cut a dogfish! Is that a dogfish? It's a dogfish! She talks about dogfish the way I imagine a dog would talk about fish. Is that dogfish? Is that dogfish? That's dogfish! That's dogfish! Is that a fish? Is that a fish? Is that a fish? Super duly. I loved actually my favorite image of the entire episode was Sophie standing there with a fishing rod in one hand Casting away and a bottle of rosé and the other
Starting point is 01:48:11 Yeah, I like Sophie style too, and then Julie is trying to be very like Caroline She's like she doesn't talking ahead and she goes. I caught an ugly-ass shock fish with big ass lips Does it remind me of anyone? Yes, Caroline Stanbury. Leslie was like, I was going to say, you bitch. And the A gives her a high five because they're watching at home, people's couch style. Leslie's like, was that Jules who was just joking? I can't see because of all the crap I've thrown at the TV during this scene. It's like all the tea-tackings. He's arrested on the Macon on the screen.
Starting point is 01:48:52 She's sitting there in her Heathcliff sweatshirt. With Barrel. I can't tell who's talking because I've vomited all over the tele. They're throwing the pudding, the onion pudding at the TV. Very long kind of happy to need you putting because now we can throw a tattoo. So Luke and Caroline go to the beach and she's like, they're walking down. She's like, I'm not sure about these shoes. If I slip, you'll carry me.
Starting point is 01:49:23 And he's like, no, I won't. She goes, yes, you will. It's a new rule which I hate. I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. She, I love her outfit. She's bringing this sort of like, I don't know why I sort of tan. There wasn't tan. It was like too light to be, but she had like this tan-ish ensemble going on
Starting point is 01:49:46 and I was a big fan. Yeah, it was pretty. It wasn't a thing. And I just like her, I just love her dramatic personality. She's like, I'm traumatized. I'm traumatized by me walking out of that dinner party. So basically, she's mad at Sophie
Starting point is 01:50:03 because she feels like she stood up for her on this divorce with the brother and they should be friends and she's like, I was confident we would stay friends, but now I question who she is. And that's basically, and she decided to get to the buy. And she basically concludes, I should have been a gay man. Like, you pretty much already are one. I know. And also, what was she said? Because she said, I can't wait for Dubai at this point. I'm better with gay men. You know I am. And I was like, in Dubai?
Starting point is 01:50:29 Yeah. There's some secret society. Or are you just trying to collect stones for your outside balcony? Like what the hell? Well, she probably thinks it's a gay mecca because the city's basically sounds like real buy. Dubai.
Starting point is 01:50:44 So anyway, over on the boat, Caroline Fleming continues to be on her totally different TV show. She's like, I fished for salmon in Iceland and trot in New Zealand and in one of my first casts ever caught an 8 kilo cut fish in Beaming High, African sunshine. And Jules is still worrying about her party. Flaming tells her the unfortunate thing is that it all folds back on you. And it was a shame, a shame that people left last night. It's like such a nice way of being supportive, but also saying you failed miserably in the same sense. No.
Starting point is 01:51:27 Where were the free toes for the Americans? No, we'd left my free toe party. And then Julian is like, well, I'm down to fine tune. I'm down if I'm not. Like yesterday, I hated you, but today it was like kind of fun. Remember when I thought I caught a fish, but it was a weight. That was cool. Man, but I'm not like I'm not regretful that I left, but like I'm sorry. Ended that way for you and your dinner party, I guess.
Starting point is 01:51:56 Jules somehow takes this as well. I I can't blame Caroline because Caroline's just an awful human being. No, I can't blame Jules because you know, Jules is idiot, but I can't blame Caroline because Caroline's just an awful human being. No, I can't blame Jules because you know, Jules is midi, but I can't blame Caroline because I mean, what was she saying? I know what it feels like when nobody has your back. Yeah. Ever. Whatever.
Starting point is 01:52:17 Sorry, fuck that. What they all. It's okay. So they all go on to dry land and they go to a pub. And Caroline is Lucas driving Caroline over to the pub and she's just like miserable But meanwhile the rest of these are having the best time the ordering fish and chips or actually Sophie being being quite clever She's like I'm gonna order chips and fish not fish and chips and something's like I love that What wonderful word play it reminds me of all the joking and bonn mose that we had in the high
Starting point is 01:52:46 African sunshine catching eight kilo catfish. It reminds me of the time I was fly fishing with Robert Redford in a lake. A river? Different film. I like that they kept cutting back to Caroline in the car with Luke and it was just these shortcuts But it's like the ladies are having fun and then it cuts to Caroline. I'm traumatized. I'm miserable I have a bit of taste in my mouth with these women. I can't take another moment to these women cut to the women like Party Caroline Fleming had her first ever fish and chips and she's like, this is my first ever fish and chips and I have decided it is the best that anyone could ever have. Like wow, it's some expert never had it before and this is already the best one in the
Starting point is 01:53:40 world. How lucky are you to have me to tell you about fish and chips. Next stop, mech donor zan. I have found the best quarter-pounter in the world. Even though it is not weighed in kilos, I am still convinced that this is the best quarter pounder I have ever had and that you shall ever have. It's the first burger I've ever heard refer to as a pounder. I shall tell the world. They have this most amazing measurement system in McDonald's where their way things in pounds. Whatever those are. Oh, I laughed like her. Okay, so everyone's having the best time. And then Caroline Stambert shows up and it's like,
Starting point is 01:54:39 and she sits down and she literally puts her back to everyone and she just starts talking to Juliet. It was actually a classic bitch move. Yeah, it was a classic bitch move. And I like that she walked up right after Sophie was like, look at this. You can throw a chip to a Cigula and they'll catch it. She throws a chip in Kirlis and it's like, hello. Oh, that was funny timing. So she sits and faces away from everybody and she's like, hello, but I hope you had a wonderful time today fishing. Well, I was traumatized on a beach somewhere and what's her best Juliet is automatically like,
Starting point is 01:55:16 well, there were a couple of really interesting conversations happening that you might want to hear about. So because you can recount them them now we can hear you. Yeah, I mean what happened to Julia being Like a polygetic and hugging it out with all the women now. Sometimes she's like angry again Yeah, because she's being loyal so she has to fight in her defense or whatever and so if he's like Well, you can recount them all we said is that we love her. And we need her to roll up her sleeves and just get in it. And she goes, Caroline turns turn.
Starting point is 01:55:50 She goes, I've prayed for you to respect my time. Stay away from me. Sophie's like, with pleasure, I'm good. Well, I just love that Juliet is such a psychic that when Sophie was like, just roll up your sleeves and get you into the fun Juliet's like man, she rolls up her sleeves all the time. Have you ever seen a wardrobe before? I've seen her elbows many times, so that is unfounded ma-ama
Starting point is 01:56:18 ma-am And one of these wearing shorts leaves what then what then Shitty roll up her elbows. That's mean. Think before you speak bitch. Black and white, black and white, black and white. Mastie. So then, Stanberry says she does roll up her sleeves, but she only does it with her true friends.
Starting point is 01:56:44 So now she ends up you're funny. And then, and then that's why. Rola purse leaves, but she only does it with her true friends Sonashian's of your funny And then and then that's why like well, I don't want to have this conversation with you in front of people Why don't we go share a bottle of rosé? Okay, Julie Well stop with this Julie. You were not the queen of the man or I don't like it Yeah, but that was when Julie also pulled out her first really bitchy thing that she's ever said and she goes It's one thing to be queen bee in this country. It's no other to be queen bee and have a title. She doesn't have a title I was like damn good for you Julie good for you. What an asshole.
Starting point is 01:57:18 Mapleton shade. I liked it. I have a title. I'm the lady of sandwich, okay? I am Mrs. Gif Shop. Look, I'm the lady of sandwich and I can put up with a lot of baloney. Luzzie's like, she certainly does have a title. It's called Idiot. Now I'm sick of you being a havin' Caroline. Listen here, turkey. I don't get it, but I like it. Kind of sandwiches.
Starting point is 01:57:51 Oh. I like that. It's like a Japanese category. I'll take kinds of sandwiches for 400, please. She's like, look, I know you think you're the count of Monte Cristo. But you're in count of Monte Cristo. But you're in my club now. Reuben.
Starting point is 01:58:13 So Carolin Julie have a heart to heart. And Carolin again does this thing. She's like, I didn't know what it is. But ever since boarding school, I just can't deal with rules or trick or something in me. I can't do, I can't deal with it. And then they do a flashback to the scene that I totally forgot about from last year where Caroline Fleming, trust me, Caroline, eat like a piece of pasta or fruit, which is...
Starting point is 01:58:31 Tastes it. Tastes it. Tastes it. Taste it. Now she goes taste it. Taste it. Taste it. Taste it.
Starting point is 01:58:39 Taste it. It just goes on for like a minute. Taste it. Taste it. Does this not have the most beautiful taste? Taste it. Taste it. And then Caroline's like, I don't know what's up with all these women with titles that they think that the boss of me. So she isn't secure about the titles. I know, I'm also like, by the way, that's what even better. And that's also what titles imply that they're the boss of you. That's what you get for being raised in a country that has a distinct ruling class, okay? Yeah, that's what you get for marrying a billionaire instead of a keen
Starting point is 01:59:09 diamond. Yes. But Julie, but they actually have a nice conversation and Julie ultimately tells Caroline that people wanted to be there. They like Caroline. They wanted her to be there. And that's what it's nice. That's nice to hear, which is like she actually cracked her. Yeah, that's I mean, for Caroline, say that's nice to hear is basically the equivalent of Caroline saying, Oh my God, you are so nice. Oh my God. I love you. You know what? Let's just be friends again. Oh my God. Yeah, that's her version of hugs. Yeah. But then Julie kind of negates all that because she tells us she's like, well, as the head of Matt Britton, I want to make sure that everybody feels good when they leave. Yeah. Even the most horrible people.
Starting point is 01:59:51 Okay. So, okay, Julie, this, this thing made me laugh out loud because when everyone was leaving the pub to go home, Julie handed everyone gift bags from the gift store. And I wrote in my notes as a joke, like, Leslie sitting there jamming them full of all the tacky tea towels to get the inventory out of the shop. I wrote, I wrote Leslie Leslie through these all in the dumpster. These like, but then you have to go to the dumpster and pull them all back out. But then the, but the funny part is that when this Caroline goes to her car and looks like what's in the bag, she's like, oh, just some tea towels. I was like, Oh my God. I was purely joking. That lovely stuff
Starting point is 02:00:30 in the tea towels. But then, Karen's like, and just some shitty tea towels with tacky logos on them. And a cup. And I don't wash things. So, okay. But they sewed the ladies opening them. And she's like, I don't want you to leave with them a little something from that. And so they look in there and they're like, Oh, lovely details. And she's like, details, coffee bugs, chut me for the plane. I'm like, hmm, wow, thank you so much. So then everyone goes back to London, which means it's time for another London song. It's like, I don't want to go back to the country.
Starting point is 02:01:12 I'm here at London shopping, shopping, shopping. This one I wrote it down, it goes. We're gonna party, we're gonna party. Never at the party, cause everyone's here. And the party starts now at the party, at the party. And's here and the party sauce now at the party at the party. And then it stops the music stops and they're like someone's coming their hair. Party and party never at the party. The party never stops because the party never starts. Party, party.
Starting point is 02:01:41 And then it never went to a party. No hell. And then it cut to to a party. It was like, no hell. And then it cut to a yoga class, like the lady, the Fleming and Juliet, and that bland one, they're doing the ones who scared of worms.
Starting point is 02:01:54 Well, before they get to the yoga class, there is one moment where we stop with Caroline Stenberg having a rare interface with a child, and they're walking down the street and the child likes this rainbow bag and Caroline's like, ugh, disgusting. She's like, when are we going to get on the same, when are we gonna get the same taste in shopping
Starting point is 02:02:14 and the child goes, and 2000 and never? I was like, oh, it is Caroline's child. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, I'm damn it, I'm sad I missed that. Yeah, it was funny, it was a little thing, but then we go to the yoga thing. And Juliet's just a total disaster. And Caroline thumb is like, relax, Juliet.
Starting point is 02:02:32 Relax, relax. Basically, the only reason why Juliet was invited was so that Caroline Fleming could just belittle her and then get on her head and do a perfect scissor kick upside down. She does, And she's like, I can breathe myself to the very center of my existence. And it's those moments I can feel what's going on in my heart. Is there a crease in my yoga mat? So of course, you're like, yeah, yoga piece. Yeah,, Zen. And then they're like, well, what a bitch Caroline is, you know, it goes over there. And Fleming is like, where we cleared the ad didn't we?
Starting point is 02:03:14 And they were like, no, everybody was pissed. Caroline, I'm not furious. And she's like, oh, well, I must have caught and compartmentalized it because it was so awful and juliet goes because it was a shitshell. She's like, alright. I guess you remind me of the Travita called in Tanzania. I liked also before they started talking about Caroline's Dambray as they started it. Kim was one of those who said has anyone talked to anyone anyone? And Julie goes, Caroline, and then he goes, yes, my love. No, I think my carolines, the everybody. Oh, all right. Let me go back to my lips and sleeves rolled up. Yeah. Juliet, they get that out of the way. And Juliet's like, well, Maran, Matt went to New York with about 83 days after she was in in the hospital. So and Fleming's like just looking at her and she just,
Starting point is 02:04:08 do you hear me? Are you like shocked? And she goes, well, yes, that's why my eyes almost popped out of my head. It was almost like the time when I thought there was no comptaches and then they wheeled in some comptaches. The first time I went fly fishing, weren't in a plane I was shocked. I was shocked the first time I went fly fishing I didn't catch a single fly I thought I'd done a terrible job but then it turns out I caught a grouper. Have you ever had fish and chips on my eyes popping out of my head right now? I actually caught the fish that I had with chips. In Africa, it was eight kilos,
Starting point is 02:04:47 and the greatest sunshine was bearing down on me. What a wonderful memory. How lucky are you to have my memory implanted in your head? So, they're all mortified that Marissa left her baby, so there's a future fight. Marissa, is she ever going to film with these girls? I don't know, but if you don't forget that Marissa, Caroline secretly hates Marissa. Don't forget, remember all last season, Caroline hates Marissa, so she's like, oh good, another reason for me to come down on Marissa. Yes, and Juliet hates her because she wanted to have old that passion Thanksgiving, my can-home wear. Oh yeah. And you watch football and you can't just buckle your belts.
Starting point is 02:05:24 Yeah, I was football. Countries. You're about. Something was like, ooh. So then over at Lady Mappertons estate, aka, apartment, Luke has gift shop data. And here's the news. Sales went up by like a little bit. In a year, they went from 4,000 pounds to five, no, there were 3,000 pounds to 4,000 pounds. She's like, see, I told you, it's working. And he's like, but it cost 5,000. So I think he's got a small loss there. And she's like, oh, well,
Starting point is 02:05:59 small, small, small. And I can't help but notice that someone wrote bitch on the logs do you know what that's about there's also a doodle of Heathcliff oh class of class leave don't let let's see that she hates branding but then the big she started the scene by going, look, you know where the flower food is. Yeah. Good luck with the gardens of Naperton. Every scene she starts in that home, she's feeding somebody.
Starting point is 02:06:39 It's either the kids with the frozen waffle or the burnt mac and cheese or the burnt hot chocolate. So now the kids aren't there. So she's trying to feed the goddamn flowers. It's like just do a crossword puzzle. She is basically like Clark Kent in that apartment. She's bumbling, can't do anything right. And then she goes to Mapperton and then she becomes a lady. Oh, I like that.
Starting point is 02:06:58 Yeah. Well, I liked it. The big news was not about the money the gift shop was making. It was at No one it putting. Luke was like, well, I heard some news that Joe had made these wonderful puttings and then know it ate them. Is this true? She's like, yes, it's true.
Starting point is 02:07:13 Oh my God, they're gossiping about me. It's like putting. He goes, I heard things ended abruptly. She's like, oh, well, you would be proud though, because I was a very gracious host. It's their fault I'm being gossiped about in that castle that damn pudding. So gracious, you didn't even offer the guest pudding to go. Oh, Shucks! I just love Julie being tortured by the chefs and everybody who works there. It's like that damn pudding!
Starting point is 02:07:53 So Sophie's having a party for her kids and we're back to it's a beautiful day, it's a beautiful day! I'm not your puppet but I love watching puppets. Look at the puppets making a little show show show show are not on the town with puppets So this was kind of boring in sad and it was very like Anaceptic yeah, it was yeah, well they did like kids party of what looked like a space for doing photo shoots and they didn't, they just had like a little puppet stage and just a bunch of adults sitting around. It was like the British version of a Beverly Hills party,
Starting point is 02:08:32 which was sad. Yeah, and it was, and it was, there was tension in the air because for the first time that Sophie's family and Caroline's family have been together since the separation and Caroline decided not to come, and she wasn't gonna bring the kids because she was so upset, which was kind of a bitch move. But at the same time, she was also like,
Starting point is 02:08:53 I'm not gonna drive an hour from the country to see a puppet show. But that being said, her sister and her brother and her parents were there, so you would think she would come. But no. Yeah, but she had sent her attacks, and she texted twice to say she's disappointed
Starting point is 02:09:06 and betrayed and her children are not coming. And it was like, what the fuck? And then she's like, she's like, that's wrong with Caroline because now she's using the divorce as a weapon against Sophie. And she's going to make this the worst divorce of Sophie's life. That's what she's saying in those texts. Because apparently Caroline's been going around now talking shit about Sophie to all the family.
Starting point is 02:09:31 And she's decided that since she's not going to be on Sophie's side now, she's going to be her enemy. And like really bring her down, which if that's true and she's doing that. Oh, yes, yikes. Not good. I would hope that Caroline's stampory is icy enough that she would just blow her off and not care, but apparently not.
Starting point is 02:09:49 Yeah, she yeah, but I don't know how much her family is really listening to Sophie. I mean, listening to Caroline because they all don't understand. Sophie's like, I just want to make things right. And they're like, well, you know,
Starting point is 02:09:59 okay, I want you to bitch. Yeah. And they're everybody saying, well, she's saying Caroline's calling everybody in the family and talking shit about me. But then she goes up to everybody in the family and she's like, well, that's everything all right. If you heard from Caroline, I know she's upset. But like to every single person in the family and they're like, no one cares, dear. And then Fleming even goes up to the brother and he's like, oh, hello, brother of Caroline.
Starting point is 02:10:25 What shall we do about this mess between Sophie and your sister? And he goes, I'm sorry that walks away like last in her face and walks off. That guy seems really classy. She's like, here is the exact opposite of a Danish paparato. Going away instead of coming to me. Yeah, this guy seems like a total asshole. Yeah, but he's like over.
Starting point is 02:10:51 He hates this entire situation. So, and that pretty much is where we ended that episode, really funny episode with a lot of hilarity and funny lines. Love, ladies of London, love that they're all fighting and bickering. It's great show. Everyone should be watching it. I hope they are. Let's finish up the podcast with some business
Starting point is 02:11:08 that we did not get to on Tuesday, which is Real House as of Atlanta. Real Housewives of Atlanta. Atlanta. So I thought this was the beginning of another episode. And I was like, am I watching the right one? Because it's supposed to going to Fadress House and doing that thing like,
Starting point is 02:11:29 Did somebody answer the door? That's her favorite. Oh, there's nobody answer the door. I was like, did I have already seen this? Yeah, five times. But also I noticed in the opening that everyone's lines, you know, they're recorded lines or whatever, like I may be a be a house that but I'm not a wife of the house or whatever. Yeah, Shera's line is This show is so low rent sometimes. It sounds like they're like Shera. We forgot to do your opening line. Could you just
Starting point is 02:11:57 Text this one Hers is like If it is it it's not a comeback. It's a cool one. I was like, what did you just like send that in on your iPhone show? We're writing you back, Saray. Make something up. Yes, seriously. So, Portia is babysitting Fadres kids while she goes out, basically. Yes. And essentially, it's actually really cute. Like, Portia was really cute with the kids. Aiden is really hilarious because she's trying to get the kids into the pajamas and he's
Starting point is 02:12:29 like, no need to negotiate. I cannot wear any of those. I'm like, I'm like five years old. I was already talking about negotiating. Wow. She's like, what is the go see me? Portia is so dumb because this will be good practice for me. I want to kill two birds with one stone. I was like, what? What are you even talking about? And don't say that when
Starting point is 02:12:51 you're about to babysit two children, please. Yeah. Yeah. Seriously. By this is not the answer. Little little Porsche lines from this were so funny. I know This is not the answer at one point she goes. I gotta think these kids right now. I was like oh good luck Yeah, that probably won't be happening. I don't know if she can think of bullet fruit. I Like to her telling them a bedtime story. She's like once upon a time There were two men who were very handsome in a part and there was a printed and a name with Poisha and one man takes the locks on the castle and Portia was like what and she threw a break through the window but then she had to go to prison for a day only but they like whoa too much info yeah too much
Starting point is 02:13:40 it's funny how every time Port Porsche tells a story people fall asleep. Oh, Porsche. So let's see here. Fager comes back and she's like, oh, yes, it's so crazy dating again. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, because Fager's out on a date. Yeah. The his face was out on a date. Yeah. The, then we go to Cairo, Shiree's hot sun, having a photo shoot. And, cause Shiree is trying to get him on the modeling circuit. You got a model? You got a model sun? You got a model sun?
Starting point is 02:14:20 Poor Bob. I mean, I feel bad for Bob, but he walks in. And he's like, he's got like this fake outrage like Oh my god, my son's shirtless. What's he doing? He is like already sweaty I mean this poor man cannot appear on camera without sweating half his body weight off I'm the momager the momager you hear that I'm a momager. It's like a mom and a manager hooked into one You got a momager you got a mom one. You got a momager? You got a momager? Well that's me. I'm the momager here.
Starting point is 02:14:47 That's me. I'm the momager. Like say momager again, Jaree, please. Please find a way to save again. Yeah, I don't know what makes you qualified to be a momager by the way, Shrei. Not me neither, but I think she's just trying to say anything that will get her a Kardashians type situation.
Starting point is 02:15:04 I think that she's a momager. I'm a kind of real momager. I think that she's actually trying to say anything that will get her a card as she is type situation. I think that she's a mom. I'm a kind of role mom. I think that she's actually saying manager, but she has such marble mouths or so many marbles in her mouth that she just wants to say mom. I. We just think she's saying baseboards at all time. You got baseboards. You got baseboards.
Starting point is 02:15:17 You're all trick. You're all trick. She just said she's a momager. Wait a minute. So Kenya, we go to Kenya's house. And it's's like this weird did you notice the music on the scene? It's like this weird positive violin shit. It's like Okay, that's a choice. Yes always well that's that's that's always That's kind of like the phrase that always goes with Kenya. Well, that's a choice
Starting point is 02:15:42 That's kind of like the phrase that always goes with Kenya. Well, that's a choice. That could be your turn. So she's talking to my favorite Anseleri Kenya character, which is her dad. Yes, I love her father. She's on the phone with her dad and she's like, I don't know what happened, dad, but we argued about like, I don't know childish stuff you know and then he
Starting point is 02:16:06 went and just kicked my garage door she always makes herself so innocent and you hear her dad on the phone he's like he needs a plane This can escalate Out of control Kenya and Lord no, I don't want that She's like okay, I'll fly you here dad This reminds me of the poor groundskeeper guy in the shining who like I guess that that sound and he's like oh no I gotta go back to the hotel because I think that's what happened. He goes just gets killed
Starting point is 02:16:43 that sound and he's like, oh no, I gotta go back to the hotel because I think bad's about to happen. He goes, just gets killed. Dad, don't go, don't go there. Don't go, like, don't, don't, don't fly down there. It's, it's gonna be bad. It's gonna be bad. Then we get Cynthia and Noel. Or at least they were at least they, they, they thought they were having an exciting scene because they were not hanging out of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the
Starting point is 02:17:08 corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the
Starting point is 02:17:16 corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the
Starting point is 02:17:24 corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the corner of the to a table read of one of Candy's new plays. They're all sitting around in their circle. And suddenly they got a phone call. And at this point, they should just know anytime Candy's phone rings during that team meeting, it's always going to be something shitty. So in this case, it was Fajor's office. I'm like, Ms. Parks would like to set up a dinner early dinner for you, early this week.
Starting point is 02:17:40 And then she's like, can you say, oh, er, er, er, take my eye count. Sure. I guess that works. Rody, you got plans, Rody. No, we know the plan. So I guess we was gonna do it, but okay. Yeah, their jobs are, they're always talking about like some new business
Starting point is 02:17:57 and they've always got notebooks at. They're like making lists. Do you guys actually do these lists? Because nothing's been done. Yeah, especially not on OLG. Yeah. So I love Kwame. I love that they've made Kwame like their every day now because Kwame always has like I smelled the fart face. Yeah. He looked like everything they say is like what? Like he has that look on his face. Like he's thinking what the fuck? Yeah. The fuck you just say? Like he's got that look at all times. He's like, I'm an educated man dealing with all of Tom's,
Starting point is 02:18:28 Todd's, Tom Fully right now. I can't believe I have to deal with this bullshit. Yeah, he always has that look and it's so funny. So there's a phone call and it's Latoya. She's like, hi, this is Latoya from Fadre Park's office. She would like to set up an early dinner with Candy. And Kwame gets that fart face and Don Juan goes, now what's the goal? And then Candy just starts talking mad shit about Fadre, which I was, usually she holds back a little this
Starting point is 02:18:59 season. She's ready to go. Yeah, she really was. Really, really was. And then they talk about how Fadra's lying and saying that he was just trying to bring the bomb CDs to her office. And no one's believing it. They all start laughing in her faces. And then that's basically that. So next up is Fadra. Yes, Fadra gets a visit from drama's mom. Drama is the guy who came with a quote unquote bomb CDs.
Starting point is 02:19:26 Yeah, drama's mama. Yeah, and they're just talking and she's the drama's mom is like, oh, by the way, don't worry. Drama's okay. You'll be fine. I'm like, I don't know. I don't, I think drama's not the sort of person where you can just take someone's word on that, you know? Yeah. Um, yeah. Drama and his mom, Fadre's like, well, I just want to be sure
Starting point is 02:19:48 that I can help his mother because I still like drama. But then it was not about helping her at all. Yeah, it was all about the mom apologizing a million times. Yeah, exactly. It's poorly, and then they hug and all that stuff. Because again, Fadre's still trying to turn it into like a civil rights thing. You know, protecting young black man, et cetera, et cetera.
Starting point is 02:20:12 Which is a lofty ideal, but in this case, I don't know if it applies in this case. Yeah, it doesn't really. Fager has some odd choices for scenes. Yes. So let's see, what's next, Jop? Candy Yes. Um, so let's see here. What's next, up? Um, candy, the crazy part is she's not worried.
Starting point is 02:20:29 Oh, so candy, it comes back to candy at the office talking shit about fadra. And she's like, the, see, now the weird thing. And she's not worried. She says she's not worried or concerned. But then my friends are out and she said that the man she was with was her bodyguard Yeah, and then they all start laughing again
Starting point is 02:20:48 Exactly and then Kathy calls her on it because you know she's probably right. Can't be like now That was probably her boyfriend chocolate and she was lying. Yeah, or she really is scared But you know she can't have it both ways and yeah, Don Juan was like you know that was mr. chocolate. Yeah See now chocolate see Rally even knows You look scared or you have a boyfriend Sit down, which one is it? I don't know I'm saying I'm like hilarious right now
Starting point is 02:21:17 I'm looking at pictures of Tom and Jerry because you know I have this ongoing theory that Don Juan is Tom the cat from Tom and Jerry It's just always trying to hit someone with a hammer, but never quite making it. And they also look identical. I like at the end of this part where they, when he said that it was chocolate and they cut to Peter and Apollo in the car. And Apollo said, well, she's been getting text from some guy named Mr. Chocolate. Peter goes, now he must have been a big black motherfucker.
Starting point is 02:21:47 Damn Peter. He's always classy. I pray so much funny happens on this show. I didn't even hear him say that last year. Yeah. So basically, now we're at Porsche. Now I think we go to Porsche's place where hot Todd comes over Todd from DC he comes over for dinner to having a little family dinner he is so adorable it's it's really not even fair
Starting point is 02:22:15 and and he is being such a good little perspective boyfriend he pushes in porches mom's chair the table it's actually almost too good. It's like very slick. It makes me feel like he might be evil. But he is got this big grin and he's super shy. And Portia's being, you know, she's not being crazy. Like she was with Duke. She's playing it cool.
Starting point is 02:22:38 And Todd tells Portia that he loves her. I was like, this is craziness right now. I'm like, get married, come married. Yeah, he does. And I loved that the family's just questioning him. So who prayed the mom? Was it the mom? I don't remember who prayed.
Starting point is 02:22:54 I just was staring at Todd. I don't know what to pray. I think it was the mom. And she's like, Lord, we are so happy and grateful to be introducing Todd into our family to see what intentions he has for our little Porsche boo. Not to be awkward. And the sister is just giving him stank like the whole time.
Starting point is 02:23:17 Right. And instead of small talk, they're just like, so how long have you been dating? Do you want babies? When do you want them? How many can you have? Have you had a sperm test yet? Yes. Poor Portia, it's never gonna work out. Yeah, but he did say he loved her and kissed her.
Starting point is 02:23:32 He really did, and that, and that, he doesn't have to say that, you know? But then again, same with what's his face, her steward, what's his, like, Cordell, he didn't have to die either. But, but the truth is he lives in DC and she's in Atlanta And I just don't see it have I don't see it working. I'm sorry. Yeah, well who knows I guess we'll see next season. We will see so
Starting point is 02:23:55 Kenya's dad arrives and she takes him down down the driveway there You got the driver first and They get there and he like cannot believe the glass in the garage I'm like did you not hear your daughter say that Matt kicked in the glass He's like what's going on with that what what I told you he kicked out the glass and goes well Wait a minute, can you? That is the glass. She's like I know I told you the glass garage. He's like oh My God
Starting point is 02:24:32 Man, Kenya He's like love doesn't break in windows love is kind love is patient Also love is not found on real has to be land us. So guess what? It wasn't love in the first place. Yeah, love is a garage door that keeps the wind out the garage. Can you? When they went inside, she's like, do you want me to make you some dinner, dad? And he's like, what can you cook? And she's like, I can make some pan fried fish I cook for Matt five or six days a week. and that might explain why he's enraged
Starting point is 02:25:07 That might explain why he's knocking in the window I don't want more fish sticks So she talks about how beautiful and wonderful he is until he snaps and becomes abusive or whatever and be a singer or whatever. And basically the dad is concerned that it's a signal. This is the prime signals that says you need somehow. So they set up a date for dad and Tom. Yeah, exactly. Todd Todd. No, dad and Matt. I mean, Todd to be there too, because why not? Matt, you're right. Yeah. There's so many, there's so many succinct names on this show. Matt, Todd, Todd.
Starting point is 02:25:49 When syllable only please. You want to be gassed on this show. So now, Shiree and Cairo go to a coffee shop to me with Cynthia to talk about modeling. And my favorite part of this was that when they were walking into the coffee shop, there's like a little menu on the door or something and trick us. Oh, that big old sandwich sounds good You got bagels you got bagel you got bagel Hi, I would like a bagel sandwich and I'm a momager Momager special momager special that is that a big old mom just got bagel
Starting point is 02:26:22 So Cynthia comes in to meet them for this momager meeting and she's like, whoa, Cairo, holy boner. Yeah, take off your pants and let me put my finger in your butt crack and let's take a temperature, shall we? All right, let's get started. She literally had him raise up a shirt in the coffee shop. I was like, good for you Cynthia,
Starting point is 02:26:40 you've been stuck with Peter for so long. You go get your jolly, you deserve him. And she's so, she's so someone who takes money from models, like poor models, because she's like, okay, well, looks like you've got a good start there. Yeah. And by the way, did you know this? Then in the middle of this, the producers cut to the
Starting point is 02:26:59 bagel sandwich, so Sheree did get the bagel. I love that. I love that they set up the cutaway shot. They set up a Shere talking about how she Thought the bagel sandwich look good and then like a few minutes later. They show the bagel I go bagel and Cynthia is looking at Cairo the same way Shere is looking at the bagel. She's like whoa And Shere is like now you need it back there for my son And I'm looking at Cairo and the big ol' and it's just like double the pleasure. So basically, she's trying to get some advice
Starting point is 02:27:32 and Cherey, of course, is completely not grounded to the earth at all. She's like, well, here's what I wanted to talk to you Cynthia. We bought him to walk into York Fashion Week this month, you know, this month, this year. She's like, uh, say, we want to do a photo shoot the GG. I did you got GG. You got GG Fun fun so Cynthia basically is like slow your roll. We're gonna start with Atlanta Fashion Week Yeah, she's like you haven't even taken walking classes yet
Starting point is 02:28:03 If you think Sharaz about to hand you with $1000 for walking classes, you got another thing coming lady. Yeah, good luck with that. Walking classes. Be a physical therapist already. Do something good with your life. Yeah. So then Kenya and her dad go to a cigar place because we're starting to... Oh, this is like the penultimate confrontation of the episode. So can you and dad go to the cigar place because they're supposed to meet with Matt? And then after 30 minutes of waiting, it turns out Matt has sent 17 text messages to say that he's not coming. So then the dad gets on the phone with Matt and is like, are you coming? And Matt's like, I wish I could have met you.
Starting point is 02:28:42 I've been manipulated several times. I can't come over. I can't meet you. I'm like, wow, you're really making her. That's way to make a great impression on the dad. You're trying to win this battle. You gotta make Kenyazine like the crazy. When you gotta show up and be super kind that way the dad comes down on Kenyaz. You can't tell the dad that you've been manipulated
Starting point is 02:28:58 by his daughter. This doesn't work that well. Yeah, no kidding. Well, he doesn't seem very cluelful. But I like when the dad was like, what time is it? My body gets hungry by time. Yeah. So dad's like, uh, basically what about the garage door or something?
Starting point is 02:29:21 And a Matt's like, I love to meditate this of the phone. And then can you go my dad said your tone is abrasive and you can't speak to him that way. It's such he hangs up on her. But then he ends up showing up. Of course. Yeah, the dad's so nice. And he's like, now Matt, the issue that I got. I talk playing.
Starting point is 02:29:46 Your sisters, your close female friends, the lady who works at the Starbucks. Possibly the woman garbage driver. I don't know, it's a new day in age. It could be a woman garbage truck driver. The point is, would you talk to her the way you talk to my woman, my daughterya. And he's like, well, say if the garbage lady manipulated me the way the Kenya did, exacerbating me.
Starting point is 02:30:13 The turns out that Matt's main issue is that he doesn't like when Kenya calls him up and asks him to clean things around the house. I'm like, you know, that's what having a girlfriend is about, right? Cleaning things. So basically the dad's trying to be cool, but Matt still losing his temper and I'm just getting pissed off by the end of it anyway. Yeah, exactly. I mean, these two just, I had high hopes for them, but it is, it is over and they're both idiots. So they should just stop, especially Matt.
Starting point is 02:30:44 I mean, he's, you know, so they should just stop, especially Matt. I mean, he's, you know, here's the, Kenya, Kenya is stupid for going back to the sky because he obviously has violent tendencies. But she's also stupid for going back to Kenya because she obviously riles him up because that's what Kenya does to everyone. She pokes and prides and manipulates until they go crazy and then she gaslights them. That's what she does. But he knows that and yet he still goes back. And the fight's so dumb because he's making it sound
Starting point is 02:31:09 like the fight is she wants to be mad at him but still has a list of tours for him to do. And then she's like, it's not like I'm asking him to clean the house. I'm asking him to kick clean up the glass that he broke when he was mad at me. Yeah, so depressing. Yeah, exactly. So then, just when you thought we'd reach to climb actually episode no, then we have Fadra and Kandy meeting up to talk about things. Yes, at Katana, which is a sword, right?
Starting point is 02:31:40 So that's not a very good sign. Yeah, that's true. So they're talking because Fadre was upset that Mama Joyce kept on talking about drama wine to blow her up with his bomb CDs. Yes. Yeah basically Fadre is trying to keep this whole thing very Fadre you know like I just wanted to have a discussion with you because, you know, it did sort of bother me when your mom came after me at your dinner and blood. And candy's like, no. Oh my candy.
Starting point is 02:32:14 I'm immediately just got pissed off. And we're used to even order food because the new shoe wasn't even going to stay to eat it. And you know, candy's pissed if she doesn't order food. Yeah. Candy pretty much just eviscerated fadre in the scene. Yes, he wasn't even going to stay to eat it. And you know, Candy's pissed if she doesn't order food. Yeah, Candy pretty much just eviscerated Fadre in the scene. I mean, just took her down. Yes.
Starting point is 02:32:31 There was more shit happening than I ever suspected was happening. Yes. I mean, I think Fadre can say a lot of shady things, but she really crossed the line when she suggested that Todd was poor. I mean, that was like the worst thing she ever could have done, that change in the couch comment. So candy, I don't think we've ever really
Starting point is 02:32:49 seen candy give it to somebody like this. Not like she was not going to have any because without crying because she can give it to people, but then halfway through she starts going and he was like, you know, and that's usually in a reunion too. It's not even in the real. So yeah, the time they get to the reunion, but she was ready to go. And Fadre's like, my crusade, as you know, is helping black men and making black people better. And she's like, oh, here we go again. She's gonna stand on some cross my mama. And she's like, well, I didn't say anything that it true. It was on the news. And you had a bodyguard. And she's It was on the news and you had a bodyguard.
Starting point is 02:33:26 And she's like, well, my family got me a bodyguard. And you could tell it was a lie because it took her a minute to come up with it. She's like, well, my family got me that because they were terror-frid. And it's not like you said, terror-frid. Which actually feels like an expression that would work on this show. So then Candy just jumps right into it. like you said, very fair, which actually feels like an expression that would work on this show. So then Candy just jumps right into it. She goes, look, obviously, we're not friends anymore. And she's like, okay, well, okay. And she's like, you, you always have more to say about me when I'm not around, you know, comments about my family and my husband trying to get changed from the couch.
Starting point is 02:34:04 And poor Pedro, by the way, all there just had to keep her mouth quiet on that front. Let Todd just bury himself with all this OOLG business. Yeah, pretty much. But she basically she said, well, we both say things we regret. And Candy's like, I don't because what I say is true. And she's like, I wait, Fadre said, and Fadre did make a good point when she's like, well, like you don't talk about me, what about that scene was Cynthia and Peter? Blah blah blah. And there's like a laundry list of things. And then Candy's like,
Starting point is 02:34:35 I've never put my laundry list down on you. It's like, this is the weirdest fight ever. But she was, Fadre was basically saying, we don't have to regurgitate everything ever, which is obviously what she's gonna say, because she's wrong on every point pretty much. Doesn't want Candie to say anything. She doesn't want Candie to say anything more, but of course, Candie kept talking, and then basically, she's just had to put everything out there.
Starting point is 02:34:57 Yeah, she really did. She was like, you say you're making like, this is the first time you've dated. You were dating people before your husband even went to jail. And that's how you put it to me. So when he actually went to jail, you were actually probably excited. So that's why I didn't worry so much about it. And she's like, uh, and she goes, how could you cry to Neenie?
Starting point is 02:35:18 Like you would cry to Neenie about me and our friendship. When you never even cried about your husband. And she goes, well, maybe I loved you more than my husband. Okay, he's like, well, that's nice. Thank you. But no. Yeah, she's like, I'm not falling for that bullshit. I love when she said, you and Crodden in front of fucking Neenie. I was like, oh, I can't even just like boiling over. Oh, it's great because she's, yeah, she was saying how Fadre was going on the sob story tour trying to get attention.
Starting point is 02:35:45 She just called her out for everything. She said that Fadre was kind of done the time for her Paul to go to jail so she could get with chocolate and all this stuff. It was great. It was really, really great. Yeah, it was good. And I love Fadre, but, man, Candy will take so much,
Starting point is 02:35:59 but the minute you push her over like that, she's done. Like, there's no second chance with Candy, you know? I like Fadre as like a character, but I like Candy as a human being. If that makes sense. Yes, like I like Fadre's role on the show, but Candy is someone who I'm often rooting for as like a person, as someone who I like, who I feel like is smart,
Starting point is 02:36:23 ambitious, caring, emotional, thoughtful, all those things. I just, I think, and I feel like she's around so many, like, wackadoodles that she has to sort of navigate through and keep afloat and keep a lot. It's, she's one of my favorites. Yes, me too. Well, that brings us to the end of Watch What Happens today, man. Wow, we did. All right everyone, we'll have a very happy holidays for whatever holiday you may or may not be celebrating and
Starting point is 02:36:56 It's been fun and we'll we'll see Speak to all of you guys next week with the crappies crappies on Tuesday, and then we will be back the following week. Oh, and we're going to be doing a Patreon hangout next week too on Thursday at some time. Still be sure. Yes, Thursday. So we'll have that that'll come in your subscriber emails and stuff. So great.
Starting point is 02:37:21 Everyone have a great weekend. Great hot days and we will talk to you soon. Bye. Bye, everybody! Hey, Prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.
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