Watch What Crappens - #374 Summer House & Married2Med: Ho-Dependence Day
Episode Date: January 20, 2017It’s Independence Day on Summer House, and Kyle’s surrounded by hos he’s made out with. Also, he’s wearing a mullet. The Married to Medicine ladies are in Hawaii for do it yourself co...uple’s therapy, and Toya finally finds her dream house. Will it wash away? Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to Watch what craprapans, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk
about on Bravo.
I'm Ronnie Kerr from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast and also the real housewives of Beverly
Hills, audiobooks, podcast and here I am with the gorgeous, the talented football watching chocolate almond eating
Ben Macca of the B side blog and the banter blender.
Hello, Ben.
Oh, hi, Ronnie. How are you?
Good. Happy Friday, bats.
Happy Friday, bats. We made it.
We did it.
Today, we are going to be talking about
summer house, the summer home and a little bit of married medicine
I think we already talked about marriage medicine, didn't we oh, we oh I see
We're splicing it in aren't we?
It's a splice.
So we're adding it on to ladies of London.
This was the big premiere episode.
And by premiere, I mean the third episode.
Well, before we get into summer house,
I know you're very excited to get into summer house,
but we can't just go directly to the summer house.
Can we?
How can we? Because we got to to the summer house, can we? A what? How can?
Be?
Because we got to check the mail first, darling.
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! a lot of questions in here still. Yeah, it is good. By the way, it is a reminder, if you want to submit a question to the
crap and smell bag, you just have to support us at the $5 level on Patreon. And then you
can get to your question asked on the air. You could be like, I'm a hundred M who asks
or writes or says, since I am binge listening, my favorite murder, please create a scenario for me.
How's Swife most likely to be murdered? Who did it? Why? How? And do they get away with it?
All speculation, of course. Oh, okay. I like that. Um, you want me to go first? You want to go first.
You can go first. Well, I think the How's Swife most likely to be murdered would be the savander pump.
Because as everyone on these shows likes to say, they're just a jalaulsa.
I think that she would be the most likely to be killed because she starts the most shit
silently and everybody wants to be the queen bee, but can't quite get there.
And I think she's like the richest.
And I think it would be very murder
on the Orient Express.
Like in the, everyone's, everyone,
everyone played a role in it.
It there's like, you know, funny,
there were 12 different stabs.
Turns out it's from all the previous housewives
and all the current housewives.
Yes, it's like all the people that teamed up with her
but eventually got fired. Like Brandy would like all the people that teamed up with her, but eventually got fired.
Like, Brandy would probably be the first stab, but then she still didn't die. So then,
you know, Carlton would come in. Oh, I guess Carlton didn't team up with her, but Joyce
would come in and be like, I'm pretending to be your friend, but just so I could stab you again.
And she's stabbed her with like one of those mechanical pencils, you know.
Right. And somewhere there's like a bowl of chicken salad that has a knife in it because Kim got confused
But the but the twist at the end would be that Lisa would show up at her own funeral and they all just killed Rosio in a wig
But then Lisa actually dies at her own funeral because
pinky, you know, dropped some poison in one of her
teas or something because he didn't like the, um,
henky was always getting the attention, you know, yeah.
I can imagine also Luan getting knocked off.
I can imagine it happening in a flamboyant way.
Like she's up on stage at the blue note and she's singing a song.
I was like, all right, give me a G minor.
All right.
Three, two, one.
Would you believe I got married?
Oh no.
Would you believe it?
I got poisoned.
I can't believe it.
I've been poisoned.
I have a Bethany Franco and she just flops down on the piano and dies.
The countess, she's dead.
That would be terrible, but I would be proud of her for singing the blue note.
I mean, that's huge.
I mean, that's definitely a step up from rock and sushi or wherever she was singing before.
I think it was like Sampa sushi.
It wasn't even rockin.
It wasn't even as mainstream of a genre as rock and rock.
It was.
It was. I have a genre as rock and roll. Like Suits. It was.
I have a big gig tonight at.
At Hailey and Hardy.
Got a huge gig tonight at Archantine Suitsy Times.
You wouldn't believe this, ladies, but I'm gonna be opening over at Obon Pan.
What else is in there, me?
Mick Resendez. Resendez says, hey guys, happy new year. I decided to drown my ending days of 2016 and all things
Bravo and HDTV, which after a week, you start to blur the shows. One of my blurred lines would be Christina of HUTV's flipper flop
becoming the new Real Housewife of OC, newly divorced, semi-famous, and in real estate.
Wow. The other Cynthia Bailey, newly divorced, leaves ATL behind to rekindle her romance
with Leon and make Noel the Black Gigi and becomes a real housewife of Beverly Hills.
I'd love to know your thoughts, and if you have any crossover ideas from any shows,
I'm certain a version of this question has been asked, but I think it's an interesting topic.
Love you guys. So Christina, she's the one who was married to Tarek, right?
Tarek. Wait, what show? They had like a flipper flop.
Oh gosh, I don't remember his name.
I think they're from Orange County.
The reason I know this is because I watched a few episodes
when I was in Scottsdale in December.
But they are like this couple that flips houses,
but then they had some domestic issues like
Yeah, they had like a terror on
divorce or something.
And now it's canceled.
Yeah, she's very much ready
to be a real house type of Orange County now like get her in the pipeline like cure her up get her
in there she's ready to mix it up. Yeah my watch that so I really liked that show um and I think
that I enjoyed it because they really did seem to hate each other and she was I think they had a
baby and she was pregnant with another baby. Yeah, I think.
Yeah.
She just could not even hide her hatred for him.
And he looked like Koki and Pluggy and I don't know, like he looked like he'd like Vardid.
I don't know.
He just aggresss all the time.
And she was just always seething.
And I really like that about that show.
I thought it made it very real.
Yeah.
I could tell that their marriage was doomed when they had a seethingly passive
aggressive tile off with two different bathrooms.
Like he did one tile with all backsplash and one bathroom with all backsplash and she
did one with like all white tiles and like who's going to like it more.
And then I think that she may have won and I could just tell that he's like this bitch.
I'm going to fucking cheat on her now.
Well, I can't believe that he hadn't cheated on her before I feel like he cheated on her and
She knew it and that's why she was always seething and then she brought it up a lot like oh really
Well, are you gonna go cheat on me again? I mean be like oh you gonna hold that up from a laugh forever?
I feel like their marriage had a moment where after six months,
someone came up to me and said, bad news,
we've been doing inspections on your marriage.
Turns out it's not up to code and we're going to tear it all down.
Yeah, she's like foundation.
Yeah, I knew this foundation was cracked.
There's mold in the walls.
I knew this was coming. Yeah, turns out
this wiring is from 1932. It's gonna go up in flames any second. The roof has holes in it.
She's like, I know. Some holes you just can't plug. Am I right, Terence? Sharon asks,
somewhere says, it's freaky Friday and Ben and Ronnie have switched
bodies with the bravo liberty of their choice, accepting Lisa Vanderpump, since who wouldn't
want to live and live with Hank and Panky, who are you switching bodies with? And what
did they say when they wake up as you love you guys? Oh my God. This is really rough because I don't know who I hate enough to make wake up in my body.
If I could just steal someone else's, that's one question. But if I have to make someone wake up with mine,
I mean, people will just try and figure out what their stretch marks are spelling for the first two hours of the damn day.
Well, I think, you know, obviously I'm tempted to always say Runaan or Lwap because
there's like my go to, but I think maybe I might want to wake up as Lisa Rina.
If only to have Lisa Rina wake up as me because I was recently watching her Instagram
story and she was walking around on her lawn.
She's like, okay, guys, all right, we're on the lawn.
And look, it's a Pomfrand.
There's a Pomfrand on the lawn.
And it's like the next story.
There is a Pomfrand.
Okay, let's walk over here.
There's the view.
There's Catalina Island.
There's Catalina Island.
The Pomfrand is still there.
I remember going to pick up the Pomfrand.
It was the dude like three minutes of analyzing the palm fron and I was
there the entire time. So I'm
just imagining her waking up and
be like, Oh my God, this is
crazy. I made a one bedroom
apartment in Hollywood. All right,
I got to put the sun in. Okay.
All right. Here's a bookcase.
It's a bookcase, everyone. It's
a bookcase for my Kia. You're
seeing it here first, I Kia.
I think I think I would switch with Tom sand of all because I would love to
know what it's like to be a lesbian with a penis for one day.
Hey, I mean, also he has such pretty hair, such pretty skin.
Um, I think it's, I think Erie honors really cool.
So I'd like to hang out with her.
And then I'd like him to wake up as me and be like, well, oh my God, what happened to me?
How did I turn into she does husband?
Be calling she like, she the girl helped me.
She's like, I'm fast.
I was just like confusing the hell out of everyone when Tom shows up as me.
Yeah.
I think, you know, an argument could be made for waking up as Patricia from Southern
Charm, because you could just like lie around in a calf tan all day and be served Marchini
as well. She wakes up here and it's like, I can't believe all the dust on these bookshelves
right here. Somebody help me right now. Where are the flamingos?
Yeah, I could be someone from Southern charm.
I would probably be the young hot dumb one, what's his name?
Craig.
Yeah, I'd be Craig because also he kind of talks like Tom.
So it wouldn't be too awkward of a voice change for me.
And I feel like that would be the nicest person
to wake up as me, because he'd wake up
and he'd be like, I feel fat today, so I'm going to just sleep and he would never like go go outside and ruin my life.
He would just sleep on my bed.
Yeah. That's what I think. I feel like if I saw up with Shep, I would wake up and my life would be
more or less the same except paid for. And then he would wake up. He'd be like, gosh, this isn't my
life. Okay. All right, happy hour.
I read both like a doubt pretty easily.
Gosh.
He's like making out with sub-lurs of Katan.
Gosh, what's up with these board games?
All right, who wants wheat?
I need a sheep.
Gosh, Craig, you're so stupid.
Why don't you have a trade away
or a sheep, Craig, you're so stupid.
I just wish I could trade with somebody from a different channel, you know?
I just don't I
Feel like as a guy one of the reasons you would ever want a body switch with somebody and it's like such a guy answer
They're like, yeah, I want to switch with the girls so I could just fill my boobs all day
But yeah, I mean if you're gonna get to switch with somebody you want to like
Switch to somebody with a giant one.
You know, it's like hot and thin and rich
and has a giant weiner and is gorgeous.
And I just can't think of anybody like that on Bravo.
Maybe Kelly from Below Deck.
Not rich.
But he gets to be on a yacht.
He is hot, but he has a girlfriend
which would be kind of a hot work.
Yeah, he'd like.
He's like switching into manual labor.
Yeah, he cleans things.
No thanks.
Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, he cleans things. No, thanks.
Yeah, maybe I would, you know what, I probably would do like a body switch with,
like Michael, the florist from the Hamptons, who always goes over to Inagartan's house. That would be a perfect switch.
It'd be a great trade-off because he would get to be young again and he could
galvanize in West Hollywood.
And I get to hang out with Inagartan's.
That's probably best of both worlds.
I would be just, I would just be Jeffrey. I mean, what kind of hard life is that?
He sits in the home office all day and starts a giant windows laptop. I mean, I'd have
to learn to use windows again. But otherwise, sounds good to me.
He goes walking down the Starbucks as you and he goes, this is the best, venty ice coffee
I've ever had.
Oh, Ronnie, you say that every time.
I really mean it.
Okay, now go away so I can finish working on this laptop.
Like Ronnie is so agreeable now.
And he keeps writing papers about energy policy.
All right, let's close up that bag. Let's close up that bag, be...
Let's close up Zabag.
Ahhhhhhh!
Ahhhhhhh!
Guys, episode number two of Summer House. Super white people being upset about stuff on the weekends. Summer House.
Summer House. Well, guess what? It's July 4th weekend still in the summer house and everyone's there having great time and it's Sunday morning and everyone's in bed and
Ashley who is one of the twins is grilling Lauren who is the single twin and she's like, why'd you do?
Why'd you do? It's like nothing. What'd you do with Carl? Nothing. I didn't do anything with him yet. You did no, I didn't yet You did a straight it. No, I didn't. I swear I did. You have to do that. No, I didn't. Uh-uh. You have to do that. Uh-huh. No, I didn't
Let's clean something
that. Uh-huh. No, I didn't. Let's clean something. Um, meanwhile, so while the twins actually do start to clean things like for us, oh, I was a day. Let's clean the bros, then go
Kyle and Carl go go jogging out. I'm so sorry to do this right at the beginning of the recap,
but I already have to interrupt because I wasn't looking this far down in my notes,
because of course there were 20 pages on the previous list.
I knew you were gonna read it.
No, I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna do that.
But the first scene is Carl waking up at the twin,
and she's like, how got to add luck right now?
And he goes, on a scale of one to babe, I'd say 10,000.
Oh my God, I missed that.
Oh my God, thank God I missed that.
On a scale of one to 10,000?
Oh my God, 10,000?
I mean, that is some 80s in the Yelp Asso Country Club humor right there.
That is...
That is slick, Carl.
That is real.
Well, I don't know whether to praise you right now or to tell you to just leave social
media and leave all of this behind and go off to a simple life in Paraguay.
Like, I just can't. I don't know what to do.
I don't know if this is the most amazing thing
I've seen in other words.
But I love it.
I love it.
I ran get a negative 12.
Yeah, I love that we get to hear so many 80s,
do see, do see things on this show because I was young in the 80s.
I didn't get to hang around all the douchebags.
I only got to see them in the 80s movies with their feathered hair
and their tennis sweaters and like rolled up mom jeans and stuff, you know, so it's nice to
Be on the outside still there's a 40-year-old man. Oh yeah, the 80s are definitely back with the show and especially when we get to the bro fight later in the episode
It's super 80s
Yeah, but but for right now Kyle and Carl it just jogging on the street and cross like dude
I'm hurting a little bit from last night and cause like dude. He can't be hooked up with the girl in the house
Like dude, I know dude. There's so much like challenge outside there in Montauk dude. I know
First rule is summer house is no couples in summer house
Second rule is summer house never use a definite article goodbye though like everything's's the saying like will ever happen summer house stays in summer house
Except for my fabric softener because we need to use that to clean up the city also
Twins are still scrubbing things down
Oh
Flick aflack
Wow, this place is fantastic. No, literally, I need the fantastic.
One billion summer houses served.
They are just like human Roombas.
You just start them and they're just like,
the girls just like scrap it.
Like just wiping down, counting count.
They're either wiping down counters or making orders,
making dips.
So meanwhile, Everett and Lindsay are working out together
with East Hampton Gym and Lindsay's like,
yeah, so like before I started eating Everett,
like I called a psychic who said that there was
like a tall thin guy in my universe.
And I'm like, awa, I'm like tall thin guy.
Wow, that really narrows it down there Lindsay.
This is a part of me that feels like I'm very intuitive.
You can't say there's a part of me that feels like
I'm kind of intuitive because that is inherently
an intuition.
Then who's she talking to the girls?
Oh no, she's talking to us.
She's talking to every next.
And she goes,
I want to know what you guys talked about at brunch yesterday. And he's like, what else do dudes
talk about? Chicks. Okay. And Garo was talking about my psychic said that you guys totally talked
about things. So like, wow, two for two for her. Wow.
Wait, did you eat eggs? It branched.
He's like, yes, she's like, oh my God.
Oh my God.
When I got told me, is it a guinea guy who likes eggs?
Where's the second?
You have a say also?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
My psychic said that you're gonna date a guy.
And he's like tall in your universe who eats eggs
and likes wine.
He's like, wow. I'm intuition is like, that's like, oh my
god, call Joel, cause I've got intuition too. So he's telling her all the gossip
and he's like, yeah, well, Carl, you know, he was with a girl before and she's
like, oh my god, she had a private plane. What happened to that girl? Why
isn't he with that girl? And he's like, because they couldn't sleep in a box together
and he was someone he can sleep in a box with.
Like, I can sleep in a box with you.
She's like,
oh!
She was like, oh me too.
Basically, she was like,
don't you dare mother fucken make me sleep in a box ever.
Okay, especially for checking out the girls.
Yeah.
Carol isn't here trying to make my man think
it's okay not to have a job. Yeah. So Lauren and Christina. Oh yeah. So everything, uh, he brings up this rumor that he's got
in ring shop. He's like, you know what's crazy? Like there's a rumor going around that I'm like
or an shopping and she's like, you're a ring shopping and he's like, shut up. I mean,
honestly, mom, I'm like, if you want to want me to go to a ring, but like. I mean, honestly, mom, like, if you want one, you're gonna show me, but like, I mean, I got him, I'm like,
I don't need a ring, but like, do you want a ring?
Cause I could get a ring, but like, do you want one?
But like, it's too fast, right? But we go slower, but we can go faster.
What do you think? I just wish my Mima was here to like, have a mini heart attack watching
the truth me. Gives you guys, I mean, there's this tab before getting engaged and that's getting pregnant.
Pfft, excuse me.
She's like, this is tab before getting engaged
and that's moving in together.
So are we moving in together?
And I could just imagine my Neem all losing her shit.
Like, when did that become the next step?
What happened to talk into the parents
asking for her hand in marriage, getting married,
found in a business, then getting pregnant, having everything you want. I mean, when did the steps
change? I just like that they were discussing moving in while they were doing planks.
Listen, I know this is like an important step for us, but it's awesome for us to get our corn shape.
So then I want to do yoga. Do you want to do yoga? I do. I like to scratch me too. It's a cling for a cling. It's only the floor. I'm going to do yoga. So the twins do yoga and the
cameraman hate them because it's basically just their corn holes. I mean, it's them putting
their ankles behind their head with the with the camera, their butts. The cameraman also
hate poor Steven, the house gay because every time the screen splits
into sixes, which is like their traditional thing, there's always a shot of Stephen walking
around like, oh my god, I am in hell.
I am in hell.
I am in hell.
Yeah, he doesn't look very happy this guy.
I have a feeling this is not a season two cast member. He's like,
um, you guys suck. So, um, the twins are talking about their lives and, uh, married twin is like,
yeah, like, I know it seems weird that like, I'm the twin with a husband, but I'm like still here
and I'm married, but like, I am going to see him at the end of October because we're moving
to California. It's like crazy because like, we're originally from San Diego and the other one's like,
yeah, and then we want to you see Davis and the other one's like, yeah, we do everything.
Yeah, like we even take showers together. She's like, yeah, but like, like we don't
lie to each other, but like the two shower heads. Yeah, it's like two heads and a shower.
It's like two heads and one. Yeah, like us. It's a virtue. Yeah, exactly. It's all the
men. Yeah, we were like to tell off at the same time. It's like it's fun. Like she has to tell what I have a towel. Yeah, it's like two towels like towel to one. Yeah.
And then we get like the most generic music yet transitional music, you know, because we've been talking a lot about bravo's
stock music that they've been playing. Oh, yes, this time the music was more generic than anything you ever heard
It was just like a beat and some synthesizers and a woman singing at like a low volume.
Like you could tell they did not have confidence in this but like, well, we did pay her to sing.
So let's just put her vocals on really low and you just hear going, you know, you know,
you know, why you know.
That was it. You know, you know, you know, you know, is that enough?
OK, cut.
Great.
Great.
We'll just give that one to Summer House.
So, so Lindsay, Kyle and Christina in the kitchen,
I'm trying to think of who all these people are.
Which one's Kyle?
Oh, Kyle, the blonde one.
Lindsay is telling Kyle about, she was working out with Everett.
I just wrote down that she was telling Kyle about working out with Everett.
And Christina is just sitting there shooting hate eyes.
Because that's what Christina does most of the time.
She sits there, it's like a carrot stick.
And just she's the most angry eyes.
I love that her Christina.
She's like sitting there like, ugh.
Like she's giving this, her eyes open,
like she's got squinty kinda eyes,
but they open really big, she's like, ugh, you.
And she's also like sitting there eating a huge piece
of cake or something for breakfast.
What was that?
It was like a huge piece of something.
She's like, ugh, gross.
Cause like, you guys workout, you'd like the couple
of the gym gross.
I mean, as long as you're not like spot me, honey,
and then it's just kept cutting your Christina like a grass eating cake.
Christian is like no one invited me to the gym.
You would have been nice as your roommate to know that you were going to the gym.
I mean, it's like embarrassing to me to not even know that my roommates going to the gym.
Like, I love to stick you on the mirror saying I'll be downstairs eating cake.
I mean, did you even see that sticky? Do you even care even care like should I even bother checking anymore? Who are you?
Who are you?
Christina is far on my favorite character on this like far on a way
So now Kyle is talking about Amanda Amanda is his ex
And how he started hooking up with her in the last episode
And again Christina is just sitting there shooting
to agers her eyes with this girl.
I can't remember no comment.
Kyle's like Peter Pan, but he's like always drunk.
I'm like, well, what do you think Peter Pan was?
I mean, he literally thought he was 13 forever.
That is the drunk person, stupid.
But I like when she was saying, yeah, like,
just think with Amanda.
I mean, you really need to appreciate what you have because she's a good thing.
So be nice to Amanda because one day Amanda is not going to be here.
I'm just like, yeah, he knows that's why he kicked her out.
Yeah.
So then they'll go out and cows like, yeah, Montauk is like Disney World for adults.
You never know where you'll wind up, but wake up.
I'm like, that's not happens at Disney World.
Is it?
You never know what Monterello you'll wind up on am I right?
You never know which matter horn you're gonna bet.
It's like you go to Epcot Center and you're like,
what country am I in am I right?
Montauk.
You can be in about one second and the next second bombs
are going off right in front of you.
The pirates of the Caribbean.
I was rough, man.
I can't tell you how many times I've tried to call into a golf ball at Montauk.
So like you're like being in Disneyland, you can fuck Cinderella one time and tell her to go home,
but she's still there wandering around the park the next day. Trying to get in pictures with people.
Uh, every time I reach for a teacup, I'll line a bar thing.
Okay, so Carla Lawrence are hooking up again at night and then Carl's gloating about. He's like,
well, yeah, uh, I don't want to see it's a pattern, but it's a pattern.
Great. Carl. I like that they're like, okay, we're going at and they share everybody like,
done, done, done, going out, going out, going out. And it's like after they went out.
Yeah, no one will let the film basically. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's what they all, it's like,
yeah, they're basically filming everything on their cell phones. Yeah. So they show the, they get home and they show everybody like getting ready to
fuck and everyone's having fun and wasted it.
And then in the cameras, you see poor Christina lo and her room with a full set of flannel
PJs.
And I was like, I know that that big ass piece of cake is somewhere on that bed.
No one told me to be going out.
It's how embarrassing for me.
No one told me that my roomies were going out.
So then it's July 4th.
And the twins are cooking again.
They're like, do you think we'll have enough?
We're going to be cooking forever.
Like, should we slice this English cucumber now?
Like, are we going to have a salad too?
What about guacamole?
What about a salsa too?
Should we have a corn dip?
We're going to have like humbous, pita bread, chips, salsa, guacamole, salt, pepper,
water, ice, ice for the water, beer, yeah, beer, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to the picnic. And Christina finds out from the twins
that Lindsay is considering moving in with Everett.
And Christina is really mad because I can't believe
that she didn't tell me.
Like I'm her roommate.
How could she not tell me that she's moving out?
So Christina has-
She goes, why would they want to move in together?
I mean, they're always fighting and saying
awful mean things to each other.
So why would you move in?
Like, that's kind of your relationship with Lindsay other. So like, why would you move in? Like, uh,
that's kind of your relationship with Lindsey too. So yeah, exactly. And they also show a glimpse into Christina and Lindsey's daily life back in New York. She's like, well, you know,
Lindsey and I are roommates and they cut to them and you see what I'm going. You think this
maxi dress is cute? Yeah, it's cute. It comes back. Let's put it all in the app. All you say.
Then we get the gate, the gate and the Alabama way. Oh, no, the gate from the gate. Yeah, it's good. And it comes back. Let's put it all in that app. All you see.
Then we get the gate and the Alabama way.
Oh, no, the gate from the gate talks about being
from Alabama and Kyle's wearing this big bullet, you know,
and so he starts asking questions.
Now, I love when cute guys with like blow dried feathered
highlighted hair and like possibly fake bleach teeth,
but they're still really cute and stuff.
I like when they start asking gay questions,
like they ain't sucked a few dicks.
I mean, this guy is at least a truck stopdick's dick sucker.
I mean, this guy's at least had one dick up in.
Come on now.
Look at him.
Look at him.
I don't know.
I don't know if he's, I don't know if he's. he's that guy's had some drunken dick. I'm calling it. I'm
blessing if he has. So he's like, what's it like to be gay, bro? I'm like, I'm sure you mean like are you asking about
sweater choosing because I know you know what it's like to have a couple of fingers up in you.
Yeah, Steven's like, well, yeah, you know, I was I was raising Alabama with a really religious
family, and they thought I'd just stay there forever, but I got gay, so I went up to New
York, and now that's where I lived now.
I'm never turning back, and I said, I would never be around, do she straight people every
game, but then Bravo called in.
Well, here we are.
I'm the only gay to be on the straightest show on Bravo.
So thanks.
I like what he said.
I love everyone from home didn't think that I was going to like stay out here. They just thought I would be moving right back, but high Alabama
still waving at you. I like to buy my fireworks at Market Press. So now Christina has gone
to every single person in the house. Like did you know they were moving in? Did you know they were moving in?
Did you know they were moving in?
Yeah, this is, yeah, this is amazing because everyone's coming over.
Amanda, Amanda has come over and caused like, yeah, I like it because she's like nine years
younger than me and she's not really waiting for a ring.
Like some 30 year old chick.
I'm like, if you think a 25 year old girl is not waiting for a ring, you were certainly
mistaken, sir.
Oh, yes.
And then he was like, yeah, you know, the
best part about my relationship with Amanda was that was
conflict free. I'm like, yes, so thank God you left that.
That's that's terrible. So yeah, so
Christine is awful. So Christine is telling everyone like
everyone look probably the producers too. Well, so what do
you guys think about every and Lindsay moving in that seems
pretty hasty, right? Like, what do you think about that? Like, what do you guys think?
Isn't it crazy that they're like moving in? Like, isn't it weird they didn't even tell
me? It's not like the last one to know. I mean, how embarrassing for me am I right? Am
I? It's like Ding Dong, someone order Chinese food, but it wasn't me, but I guess I'm
going to be forced to sit here and eat Chinese food anyway. Would it be nice if someone
told me? So at this point, we go inside
and you know what you were just saying about Kyle
and Blow Jobs.
I'm starting to rethink it now,
because the next thing we hear is,
I call dibs on the BBC.
Now, for people who are outside the gay community,
you may not realize that the BBC has a totally different
meaning than Bailey's banana and cream, okay?
It means big black cock. So I watched a little of what happens live just because I kept the TV running
while I was checking the cookies and Arianna and Tom were on there and Kyle was
the hot bartender guy and he made I guess someone made them all BBCs and so
Andy was like, hey, what does that mean? What is the B.B.C.? And he's like, uh, Bailey's, you know, whatever.
I don't even know.
And you'll have to ask the bartender like I don't even know what it means.
And Tom goes, Yeah, I think it's like cream.
I think the C stats for cream.
Yeah, because he's like a pro and Ariana goes, uh, big black cock.
Yes.
It stands for big black cock.
If you ever go into grinder and someone says you got a big
BBC or I got a BBC, it means big black cock. It does not mean British broadcasts company. It does
not mean Bailey's Macream. When you say, oh my god, I got dibs on the BBC. It means you got dibs
on the big black cock. Although a really pretty guy is saying I got dibs on the BBC, even if they were talking
about the BBC, I mean, I don't know which makes him gay.
Like running to doubting or running towards a big black cock.
And I don't care because, look, when a gay person says
it's not a criticism, like, oh, you're gay, dude, bro.
It's more like, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, it was very hot uh I and but in by the way
it wasn't just the guys because Lindsay was like guys I need another BBC I mean it was like
an entire episode of like every five minutes you know what we need right now BBC
So we get to meet a new cast mate who is Katie and she's okay. Do you know mad TV?
You used to watch my TV.
I've seen it.
Yeah.
Do you know what you're talking about?
I know what you're gonna say.
A lady with a cigarette, right?
Yes.
She had Kavanaugh boy.
She's like, oh, Kavanaugh boy. She's like, oh, Kavanaugh boy.
Yeah, Kavanaugh boy would come out and dance.
Yeah.
This is her.
She's amazing. She's got skin. It's not even spray tan skin. It looks like actual sun skin, which is weird.
Like, I imagine her going to tan it like a pizza oven or something to like get the real effect. It's like she is around. She's like a freshly made pudding
Of leather made of leather leather pudding
She's kind of leathery and she's like
She's got she's like super excited. I guarantee this the summer house kids will no longer be reaching us now
Well, what are you gonna do?
So Katie is the new roommate.
So she sits down with her roommates, Lindsay and Christine.
She's not a new roommate in the house.
She's the city roommate.
The first one we've seen her.
Yes, the third one.
Christina.
And so she's like, how's everything going?
And they're like, up,
Lindsay's like, yeah, it's been really fun.
We're having really good time.
And she goes, you're here so much.
You might as well move in.
And Chris is going to go speaking up, moving in.
So I hear you're moving it together with Everett.
She's like, well, I'm talking about it.
It's like a top line discussion.
And I guess I think we talked about.
And like, you know,
Arleys is up in February.
I went around moving and I'm febbering,
like, well, actually,
Gleys up in May,
and that's like a pretty big gulp.
And they don't have maxi dresses
that gulp anymore.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
And then Christina goes or that.
So you haven't talked to your roommates
and I mean, you're telling everybody else,
like you're basically telling everybody else behind our back. So you know what it would be nice if you stop talking
behind our backs and tell us first. She's like, um, maybe I should wait, would she say, oh, she goes, maybe I was wanting to wait because I knew that your reaction was going to be completely off the wall.
And I need Katie here. And she's like, look, I was really in a bad relationship
and it was like really hard for me to find somebody.
And Katie's like, oh, oh, so glad to hear that.
She said, that is amazing.
I'm making you know.
A question that goes, yeah, that's exciting.
That's great, happy and dependent state of me.
Who's always independent.
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So, when you've got the BBC, right ladies?
So, we also find out that Kyle had been making out with Katie the night before.
So, two nights ago, he made out with Amanda and had sex with Amanda.
Last night, he made out with Katie and now they're both at this party.
And things are really awkward bro
Time to double down the BBC's if you know what I'm talking about right
Want him let's just get to BBC's right my mouth, okay? I just want it just like BBC's I want them going right down my throat
I just like I don't even want to talk
He's like guys. I feel like such a pig right now. Just put me on a spit roast
I just need some double penetration with that BBC right now.
So then almost then barbecue winds down the turns are like,
bye, going to city.
And then it's the middle of the night.
So the twins go, but everyone else is going to hang out.
I'm like, yeah, let's, let's go out tonight.
And it's like five hours later. And every, every in Lindsey are now drunk and bickering. Oh my God, these two
way, where am I? So, oh, oh, okay, they're bickering. Did you skip over some stuff? Kitchen,
Amanda and Katie both talking to Kyle. Kyle, I don't know why I keep getting myself. Okay,
he said that. Gang Kyle, she know gay. She can make
out with whoever she wants to. Just like you can get blood just from anyone
and it wouldn't mean anything right Kyle. Right Kyle. I think the gay guy
likes Kyle. What do you think? Uh, maybe I mean why not. I mean Kyle's hot.
He looks around. He looks at him a lot. He watches him when he's making out
with people and then he gets kind of mad. Yeah. He looks like him a lot and he watches him when he's making out with people and then he gets kind of mad Yeah, he looks like kind of mad
He's like, yeah, doesn't that make out what you ever you want like for example right now
Like I made a for life for off like who would know the difference am I right?
I mean, I'm just saying because you're just a guy right so party ends people start leaving and it's still sunlight out
Which is funny and the twins like oh my god, we gotta cut so busy
Oh, we got to drive back to work as crazy like we have to think about all the beds we made what didn't we clean
we could have cleaned more we could have done more I know I think so too so they're out of there
so now yeah Kyle Carl Everett Lindsay uh oh yeah so now done done done the drunk and we're seeing
the awful the more awful side of Everett Idlanzi.
And basically a girl texted Everett
and like, why is a girl texting Everett?
Yeah, but in her defense,
because I know it came off like she's just some crazy bitch.
But in her defense, if she's like,
I saw you texting this girl or whatever,
who was that? And he's like, whatever saw you texting this girl or whatever. Who was that?
And he's like, whatever, who cares?
No.
The problem is that his response seems to be either,
who cares or shut up.
Yeah.
Which is really not helpful.
Yeah.
Maybe she's insecure, okay, but you're responsible.
You think I'm helping?
You think I'm insecure?
Yeah, the neighborhood doesn't mean that Gavara?
Well, my psychic did not say there was any security
in my future, so.
Yeah, she's like, I don't care if that girl's 700 pounds,
she can have like, ask her coming down to her knees, okay?
But like, if I ask you who her girl is,
you fucking tell me.
Shut up.
Yeah, and then the guys are all pissed in the kitchen,
car on the gay.
They're like, this is so gross having to listen to this fight
I know
Smake out. No, no dude. No problem. Still not drunk. Okay, so BBC's
Also at one point Carl said yeah, some people are leaving, but my personal opinion is namaste right here
It's like oh, you're, you're just full of them.
So speaking of Carl, the weekend is over and now it's time to go into the city as this
big montage of Carl working in the city, Carl selling dental stuff.
And he's like walking down sidewalks and different outfits.
I'm like, okay, so like you need to toothbrush.
Okay, great.
All right, we're gonna sell you four to five of them. All right, great, great doing business. All so like you need to toothbrush. Okay, great. All right. We're gonna sell you four to five of them
All right great great great doing business. All right, you need you need a navigate. Okay. Go to the office
Okay, we'll do a deal for like $45. Okay great
Then they sell the twins
Yeah, the twins are shopping. That's a skill. That's like so cute. Yeah
Yeah, it's cute. Yeah, it's cute. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, it's really cute. Yeah
Those are actually my notes my notes were this is really cute. This is really cute
This is really cute. We have a fashion blog and I box really cute so we have to work you and like we don't want to look it
We always rescue so like we know what kid is so I like you
Like we may not be the cutest girls, but you got to work with you're given because like it's cute
That's like what cute things do. Yeah, yeah, like for cute cute cute cute and long when you when you're going after call
Like be like play like hard to get and just be like you
I just be cute
So over at the girls apartment
Someone ordered Chinese food and they're trying to figure out how to say kyoza, which yeah
I always thought it was kyoza and like the fact that you as my roommate never corrected me before is like well embarrassing
I like that my Asian men for also thanks a lot
It's a lot for even shortening my dating pool even more.
Okay, thanks a lot.
Yeah, because it's my roommate.
You should've told me these are not called guayas.
Okay, it looks like a fucking idiot.
Thanks a lot.
So Katie's like, um, like, to be honest, I didn't know like Amanda and that guy like it made out.
Otherwise I wouldn't have made out.
And I mean, I know I'm not the only other person in this house like make out with Kyle.
I'm right.
Christina.
Christina.
I'll take us charge.
Go there.
It was like being able to get guy, you know, didn't really matter.
And he was gay.
Like, I mean, how many girls like wear flammable pajamas to the club, you know, when like
irresistible, he jumped me.
Like, he's one of those dudes, you know, you can wake up the next day and just pretend
like nothing happened, which he totally did with me, which is totally fine.
Like, I don't care.
So then Christina is confronting Lindsay about her constant fighting with Everett.
And then she's like, well, sorry, that's just like what you do when you start a relationship.
You just fight non-stop. That's what they call it, the honeymoon phase, sorry, that's just like what you do when you start a relationship. You just fight nonstop.
That's what they call it the honeymoon phase
because you fight on honeymoon, right?
Mm-hmm, not quite.
No.
No, none of that is correct.
Yeah, you don't fight in your first few months, no.
Oh, I'm, uh, Christine, it's like, well, everybody's saying
that like, they're always seeing you guys fight.
And it's like really awkward
because you're always in like big fights
I'm just like yeah, I'm doing it on purpose. It's called romance now
Wish you would have told me about the fight, but I don't wish I didn't have to hear about the fight
So the car the carl the carl and the twin go get
Go on a day date. It's like is that's an official date right now, Carl? And he's like, uh, I don't know.
Do you want it to be?
He's like, I don't know.
Like is a facial Carl?
If she said Carl, I think 50 times in this scene, they went to,
they ended up in a yogurt shop.
So like do you like yogurt, Carl?
I love yogurt, Carl.
Did I have Carl flavor?
Carl is such a good flavor.
Carl, hey, Carl, do you like yogurt?
Don't forget that last week.
She said one of the reasons why he was so attractive
is that his name is Carl.
Carl, Carl, Carl.
And by the way, they were like animals in that yogurt shop.
Okay, they were like,
that yogurt was coming up that spigot.
Toppings were falling everywhere.
It's like, have they ever been in a yogurt shop before?
It's like that.
Hey, Carl.
So one thing I love about you, Carl,
is that you have great Carl, Carl.
Yeah, I like that Lauren called Carl dreamy. And then he smiled and he smiled. His teeth were just totally yellow and sane from cigarettes. And I was like, that is insulting, especially
if you're selling dental equipment. How complicated he says dental equipment, but refuses to use
it. And then he tells us his story. He's like, yeah, well, I don't really like it when people say I'm tall and handsome because look, I didn't
always look like this. I was I didn't wake up like this. Yeah. Yeah, man. Like maybe she's
born with it. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe she had to work really hard for it. Did you ever
think of that? Don't hate me because I've been on a beautiful journey.
It made me laugh because I was just saying about real housewives of Beverly Hills for
whatever reason.
When you're fatter, you have to connect in a different way.
He said that.
He's like, I was chubby.
And when you chubby, you actually have to make an effort with your personality to connect
with people, you know?
So, like, you can't just, I don't have to just rely on my gorgeousness.
Now I can also connect with people and be gorgeous. You know what I mean?
I'm a scale of one to charming. I rate myself a 500,000.
If I rate myself on a scale of one to
fantastic, I would rate myself five extra toppings.
And I love fantastic. Is there a messy counter? We can clean this up.
Half the reason why I spilled the toppings is why I can clean it up afterwards. What a thrill.
Carl, I'm your sponge, Carl. Is there a bucket? I love a bucket.
Lauren is head over heels. She's already planning a sponge, Carl. Is there a bucket? I love a bucket.
Lauren is head over heels.
She's already planning her future with Carl.
She's already thinking about, well, you know, Carl's going to get along so well with Ashley's
husband.
Like, we can just be like a forceome.
It'll be great.
His name is Brad.
His name's Carl.
Like, four letters.
I mean, come on.
Totally crazy.
Like, I've been looking for a Brad and like, he's really lining up to be my Brad because
they both have jobs.
There's six feet tall. Like, I mean, he's just like Brad. Like they're because they both have jobs. They're six feet tall.
Like, I mean, he's just like Brad, like they're the same.
Like they're literally the same person, which is like literally exciting.
Carl Carl Brad.
Brad goes like Brad, like Carl, see the first, the first letter in his name is
C and the first number letter in Brad's name is B and that's like right next to
each other. And then they both have ours and they both have an A and then like L sort
of looks like a D. So it's like a D without like a little bit less weight on it so it's like they're basically like the
same person and then they're basically a B in a C out of a BBC. I'll we need one more just one more
and then I guess Carl's going to a wedding or something you say you have a date you have a date
he's like no I'm not gonna bring your date because like, you know, my parents are really
knowing it.
They ask us a lot of questions.
And like, also, I'm banging a chick back in Pittsburgh, so like I'll probably bring her
instead.
Yeah, so they're banging a fat chick.
Okay.
He's like, so need a date?
Need a date?
Is that a date?
Yep.
That's a ask going to be sad.
You know what a Brad would do?
Probably ask me on a date.
I mean, if he wasn't married to my sister,
which he totally is, and I'm not jealous,
because I really love them, but like, he's so good for her.
I just decided to Brad.
You know what I mean, Brad?
Carl.
Carl Brad?
Brad Carl?
Can I just type raw?
And he's like, we need to see, we need a competition
to see if I'm a better Brad than Brad.
Like, we can see who can change your oil faster
or who can change the tires faster.
And she's just like saying,
we're waiting for you.
We're sure on sale.
Yeah.
Yeah, like see you can clean counter faster.
Up, I can.
I beat you about.
I already cleaned the counter.
Like remember how messy it was when I,
when I spilled my over and everywhere,
I already cleaned it and behind the counter.
Like literally I could just say it as you were a shop all day
and clean over and over.
And we're gonna be great.
So over and over.
And then back at the house.
And now actually it's a face timing with the famous Brad and Lauren comes in because she's
like, Oh, Brad, guys, I had a lot.
I got to say I had a lot of learn.
So Lauren comes in.
Lauren, you guys had a bra.
So Lauren comes in.
And she's like, yeah, I just put on a frozen yogurt date.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
Stage five, clinger alert.
She just elevated it to a date because she was like, is that a date? He's like, oh, yeah. Stage five, Klinger alert. She just elevated it to a date. Cause she was like, is that a date?
He's like, no, probably not.
But maybe, yeah, maybe.
So I said, hey, Brad, it's me, Brad.
Hi, Brad.
Hey, so Brad, like if you're gonna take someone
on a date to a wedding, what would you want them to wear?
Like do you want me to wear like something cute?
Something cute, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Yeah, that's what Brad said.
Yeah, me too.
I agree. I agree with Brad. I'd need a Brad. Oh yeah, you should get a Brad. I think I have Brad's name is Carl. Oh my god. Seriously
You don't have just serious
You know what I like about these twins is that we can both talk at the same time and it's a perfect impersonation
That's like you Brad Carl Carl Brad Brad hey, right me Carl Carl. Yeah, I have to be Brad
Brad Carl Brad to proud Brad Carl cleaning cleaning chop
Red car, red car, red car, red car cleaning, cleaning, chop,
black money.
So they're all talking to Brad on FaceTime,
and then Carl comes in,
I think shirtless in this one,
and he's like, hey, he's like, hey,
and they're like, oh my God, it's Carl.
Oh, it's Carl, Brad, it's Carl,
it's Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Carl, Carl, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, They are just like ducks. They are hilarious.
Like ducks, the most beautiful way.
So he comes and he's like, whoa, hey, Brad, I'm Carl. That's Carl.
I'm Carl. Yeah. I need to have a Brad competition with you.
We could like change oil and fix tires. Brad's like,
I'm a pro you. And then Carl tells us he goes, hey, wait, he goes, we're having a measure off,
a grill off, a change of tire and do some push-ups and he goes, hey, Brad, look, I'm shredded like
a julienne salad. And then they all just stop talking and staring at him like really.
Yeah, I mean, that is shredded.
Doesn't care.
But that's a bunch of limp ass vegetables in a bowl, girl.
Yeah, I mean, that's like saying, I'm as flexible as a zooodle.
And then he tells us, yeah, like I'm hot East Coast Brad.
Oh, dear.
So we're gonna party tonight.
Party, not drinking and dancing.
Kyle's like, so gay guy, when did you realize that you loved using my
arena machines?
My arena machines.
They're obsessed with that fucking margarita machine in that house.
Yeah, they are like just brewing up slime every week, which I guess is better than a BBC.
By the way, we have to talk about the actual BBC drink.
Now, I'm sure it actually looks totally delicious, but if you're getting drunk on July 4th,
who wants a big, thick, creamy shake all day long?
I mean, maybe here or there, but that's pretty intense.
Oh, is it, is it bad there, but that's that's pretty intense.
Oh, is it?
Is it? Ben, I guess not.
Why are you so upset, Ben?
Those BBC's they can do.
Yeah.
So, I still don't know what a BBC is.
Did we ever find out?
Yeah, it was Bailey's banana and cream.
Oh, Bailey's banana and cream.
Yeah, I think once you said big white cock, it's just kind of boring at this point.
I've done with it. So, um, so this is great. So they're drunk and now comes the night, the,
the like 80s team movie fight. So, um, Everett is talking to Ashton the hot, um, about the fight
that he'd had with Lindsay. And he's like, yeah, like, you know, like, sometimes,
if I'm like texting a girl, Lindsay likes to leave lips out,
like, you know, I can't even text a girl without her being like,
what's going on?
And so Lindsay walks and is like, like, you know, she's like,
well, the problem is that you're like,
just respectful to me and that like, you shouldn't be texting girls,
either. A special ones were like, not hot.
Like, what do you think? And so they, it basically,
the entire fight just reignites
and efforts like, you're being ridiculous. And she's like, I'm going to be ridiculous.
If you don't even want my respect, my respect, that's a problem. Your respect is wrong.
That's just what's respectful. And they're just saying disrespectful.
They're just yelling at each other. And so obnoxious being around couples like that when
they're just like rooting everybody else's time by screaming, you know, it's like, I get
that that's your hobby. Go outside. We're at a beach. Like go yell
it, go yell at each other by the waves or whatever. So Kyle tries to cut the tension by running
in and doing a cannonball into the hot tub and like, Kyle, that is not call.
Sir, sit, bro, Kyle. That was not cool. We're having a situation so you can get out of the pool
so we can finish our situation, please.
And he's like not my house.
So I'm trying to have a fun summer here and like shot up
Kyle and every just got over to him and start splashing him.
Like get out splash splash splash like our.
Yeah, it's like whatever code feet Kyle.
So what he calls you?
You know, he goes, no, what happens is cause like I'm serious, like I'm all
enough.
And then Erika's fuck you.
I will drag you to the fucking dirt before you talk to me that way.
And cause like I want a normal summer and Erika's code feet cook,
called feet cook.
You don't even know what a relationship is.
If it hit you're the fucking face!
This is life, dude.
This is life.
It was amazing.
I love Everett's emotion, like his crazy emotions.
Last week we got to see him cry.
This week he's screaming.
I'm loving the all over the placeness of Everett's.
Fully bro, and I love that his insult to Kyle was cold feet cook
Oh, yeah, good feet cook
Got him right where it hurts got to the cool of personality his pirate name
food feet
We got for cold feet cook
And that brings us to the end of the summer house
And that brings us to the end of the summer house
Life dead. All right now for some married to medicine
Going from the sunny shores of Montac to the sunny shores of Hawaii
man, they really Made an effort this year with this vacation. I mean, this vacation is so much
better than that last one they had. Yes. They're like chicken running around or whatever.
Yeah. This one and it's just shot really beautifully. It was. I really noticed that. I mean,
first of all, when you're in Hawaii, it's hard not to be shot beautifully, but I noticed
the same thing. I was like, this is actually a beautiful episode. Yeah, it was very, very well done. It was impressive because this show sometimes,
it's like, it feels like there, like here's five dollars. Sorry, do whatever you want.
Just throw it in the box if we're out of the office and we'll put it on the air, you know.
Yeah.
And also something I like about this show is the women on this show really do seem to work
on themselves,
hardly enough.
They seem more like real people to me in a way.
Like some do.
I think some do.
I think, I think Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone,
I feel like they do.
I feel like they, that's why I feel like they're the most
relatable.
I feel like the other women are more like cartoons.
Well, even heavenly got tiered up this episode.
Little bit of heavenly cried.
Yeah, but to me, I feel like on this show crying
doesn't mean anything,
at least in the cold cries every five minutes.
Well, she's a damn mess.
I don't even know what she's still doing on TV.
She is a disaster,
but as per usual, with these trips,
there's gonna be couple's therapy session,
which I always find odd that Simone leads it when Dr. Gregory is the only one who's a therapist there.
But I think that Simone really set the tone of the show because when she and Cecil were walking
around trying to find a place for the couple's therapy, she's like, we're going to need some shade.
I was like, yes, that's exactly what this episode needs.
It's also kind of funny that that couple leads it and kind of comes off as the perfect couple,
but they never really have to do the therapy.
It's weird that, I mean, did they do some?
I don't remember them getting any.
I mean, because they're also like a really functional couple.
Even I think it was last week, the producers tried to show a montage of
their troubles when they were fighting, but all those times they were fighting, they were
really just fighting about Toya. You know. So, you know, I mean, Simone and Cecil are great.
Cecil is, he's the best. I love Cecil. I love their kids. They have a great family.
And I also want to say just coming off of last week's episode, one of the
things that were coming into this week with is something, you know, my, you know what I'm
like a parent or a broken record. I'm always like, I want something real. Like this show,
I feel like doesn't give me enough real shit. I now we have some real shit because the stuff
going on with Dr. Jack in her husband, that's like real, you know, he did not show up. He did
not come to Hawaii on this couple's trip. And you know, He did not show up. He did not come to Hawaii on this couple
strip. And, you know, all season long, they're a little bickering about, are we gonna say
in the house? I mean, say it in suburbia, we're gonna be in the city. I always, I just thought
that was just sort of pattern, like something for storyline. But now we see, there's some
real shickling on in that marriage.
And last week's episode, which we didn't really cover, Jackie showed up alone. And it was really super sad about it.
And doesn't lie, you know, and Heavenly made a good point in this episode that, you know,
she respects Jackie because she doesn't lie of like leasing the cold trying to pretend
everything's okay.
But yeah, leasing cold also showed up alone.
Yeah.
So she showed up alone and Simone was in bed with her.
They were talking and Jackie was crying and she was
Simone's a good friend because she doesn't automatically just take your side. She tells you the truth.
You know, she's like, well, you do always work and a lot of the pain you're feeling instead of
feeling it, you're just putting it into work. So it's not necessarily that you just want to work
all the time. You're really hurting and you're not using your husband to help you and be in a
relationship with you. You're just ignoring it and working too much. And so you're
cut, you're shutting him out. And I was like, wow, that's very, that's so insightful. And that's
a really good friend to have. Yeah. And I can help also feeling like reading in between the lines
of this argument that there's
What's implied with what Curtis is saying
Pretends to the TV show as well like putting too much effort like you're you're working at your practice You're doing a TV show and like where do I fit into all this?
I feel like that was you have five damn
Charities like you have a new charity every week. Like, see, is always doing something.
I felt like that was a subtext and he probably was like, you know what?
I don't want to go on this trip because it's not really a trip.
It's, it's biss, the, it's an episode for your TV show.
And I don't want to be on it.
And I want to hear it might already linger on.
I don't want to be around these fools fighting all the time.
That's, that's that's what my suspicion was behind all that.
Yeah.
And also the season where she's like,
I wanna have a baby.
And you know, that's such a typical housewife storyline
where they're like, oh, time for a baby.
And it's always fake, they never really do it.
You know, it's just something that they say
to have a storyline.
It's like the bottom of the barrel desperate storyline.
But she apparently really wanted to.
And I think that she was working so hard
that she realized, I don't even, I don't have a family.
Like I have to do this at some point.
Now's the time.
And when he just gave her an automatic no
and never bent at all,
I think that she's like, well, you know,
she's never, she can never let that go emotionally.
Like she's right there.
She probably poured all the feelings from that into
her work. Yeah. So she's kind of avoiding him because he
wouldn't give her the child. And then yeah, it's sad. It's so
sad. Yeah. And you know, while we just go through the characters
and we'll just say I'm Jackie here. And and what was interesting
was later during the couple's therapy moment when Jackie was
sharing. And I honestly, as a viewer, I was really appreciative of her because I moment when Jackie was sharing and I honestly as a
viewer I was really appreciative of her because I felt like she was being vulnerable and she was
playing it all out there. She wasn't doing the quad thing which I feel like is half bullshit all
the time but I felt like she she was being extremely raw and she said she talked about how she
she's oh she always wants to have a kid and she never had that chance and
One of the reasons why she also works so hard is because it's she has all this maternal love to give and
There's no one to give it to when there's no unconditional love to come back
And this is how she can do it and I was like oh, I mean that was like a dagger. I mean what a
What a heavy sentiment but also a beautiful sentiment and a sad sentiment. I was really
I was like I love you Dr. Jackie. I want to give you a hug
I know I do too and even heavenly was crying and she's like
That's someone who who could be honest.
Unlike that dumb bitch, Lisa Nicole.
Give me some more Lisa Nicole so I can stop crying.
Yeah.
You know what I-
That was a hilarious line.
But you know what I also loved about that?
Heavenly and Dr. Jackie spent a lot of time
with these sort of tongue and cheek insults to each other.
And if you're not paying attention,
you think that they actually hate each other.
And it was really, to me, I really liked hearing
Kevin Lee say, I love Dr. Jackie.
I was like, I just was like, this is great.
That made me cry.
That was the part that I cried in this episode.
When Kevin Lee cried and said she loves Dr. Jackie,
I was like, it was like squaring.
Squaring, squaring.
I was like, daddy. Thank squaring, squaring. Squaring.
I was like,
Daddy.
Daddy.
Oh, God.
I'm going to stay.
Yeah.
But then just to tie up with Dr. Jackie,
then at the end of the episode,
it was like another emotional while up
where Simone, Dr. Jackie, Quad, and all the women who lost their dad's basic.
There was another one, Mariah, Jackie,
cry, yeah, they went and they did like a ceremony in the ocean where they
they sort of said goodbye to their fathers.
And this is one of those trips where Simone speaks in her like preacher voice the
entire time. She's like, ladies, I have brought us these
lays and I've brought them together with us together because in Hawaii when a family member dies,
you take these to the ocean and you set them free
It's like everything she said in this episode ladies. Yeah, we will have a drink in the lobby
Yes, it's really true and there is one moment where Simone and Quad had this really strange interaction on the phone
Where someones like all right Quad I will see you downstairs shortly and Quad goes okay? I'll see you shortly and some right, quiet. I will see you downstairs shortly and quiet goes,
okay, I'll see you shortly and someone goes,
okay, I'll see you shortly as a thing.
It's gonna sing a back of what.
I'll see you shortly.
Absolutely.
One thing that you will see me in is shortly.
All right, then, I will then see you shortly, then.
Well, what has transpired is something
that will happen shortly.
Get it?
Huh.
What is about to transpire seeing short people?
That is a mo. And the lobby of transpire. Yes. So that father thing was really beautiful.
And then Mariah, they sent all of her some Mariahs like, now when I put mine in, there was a beautiful yellow fish.
And I thought maybe that's an angel fish.
And they start walking up and Jackie goes,
my dad would have been a shark.
He'll start laughing.
He'll start laughing.
Cros, like, well, what has transpired
is that my father was a merman.
And he showed up and he took my
lay and he took it away like what are you talking about?
Where are I learned to be a text lady?
Like what?
Oh, we're doing some role-playing okay I'll pretend to be King Neptune.
Alright, hello, I am King Neptune.
What is your issue?
We're not doing role-playing of our father's dead in fish form. Are we? Yes, we are
She's like dead isn't it rich isn't it neat? What do you think my life would be complete if only I could be part of the world
How do you see what do you call these things? Oh, Quad you're hilarious. I really love that movie too. She's like seriously. What is that? It's a fork
I've always wanted to know. Um, so who else is hilarious? I'm loving just completely unleashed Toya. And I don't know that Toya has
ever been on a leash, but she seems freer than ever this year for some reason. And I don't know that Toy has ever been on a leash, but she seems freer than ever this year,
for some reason.
And I think it's because she's broke,
she's completely fucked up,
and she doesn't even care.
She's like, well, you know,
so sometimes you lose money,
that's just how you do.
So whenever.
Yeah, well, it was funny,
because one of the first thing that happened
in this couple's therapy thing was,
sort of a reference to the old days of
starting over with the Yonla Vanzant.
Simone had the couple's build Sancastles together, which is
not a therapeutic exercise at all, but still fun.
And as Ujian and Toya were making their Sancastle I wrote down,
I don't know what's going to be in their Sancastle, but I'm
sure it'll have sidewalks.
And then sure enough enough like two minutes later
Eugene is like toya you stepped on the sidewalk
Notice he said that damn sidewalked out jeans
Wait, step it on the sidewalk I also like that they made their castle
Like there's the only castle that was truly in danger being stopped away by the ocean
Like let's do it right by the ocean right here. Yeah, I want the best
Viewer's natural plan. Yeah, we're gonna have the best view out of everybody
So right here on the end we're gonna have the biggest pool too. I got one of five conquer right also side by where's time
I'm gonna build you hey, where did I castle go? I was swept away
You did not follow building codes a little crab comes over and read possesses the castle.
No crab MD.
Those fish needed fusions.
Those fish need fissial faces.
That jellyfish. It's like so, so sad looking. Let's make a mojito
What she's meant to walk I was I was laughing so much the beginning cuz she goes
Hey, hey guys, we are chill mode today. What y'all do with morning and heavenly goes I took care my husband
and heavenly goes, I took care of my husband, what'd you do?
I give him a heavenly, I did not need the mental image of you sitting on Dr. what's his name?
Daddy.
I forget.
I think daddy's actually kind of cute.
He looks like a bear away, you know?
He looks so completely checked out, daddy.
Yeah, well, yeah, he refused to show up to
therapy also. He's like, I'm just gonna chill in that here for next five hours. Yeah, she says, well,
daddy, listen to all those, because she starts talking in baby voice whenever she's around him
and calling him daddy. It really is creepy. And he just looks at her like blink blink blink but she's like daddy down a therapy
I it seemed like we're the best couple there we got the best marriage out of
everybody daddy you know you got that one she in you got that one and look at
us just so happy daddy he's like get out get out of the room now I did
actually do have a pretty good relationship more or less. I don't I don't
know, but he he just seems like such a grumpy dude. And she was saying, yeah, like Lisa Nicole,
like, you know, that's a lie, right, daddy, the husband couldn't come because you're
an ER doc, daddy. And you just have to give two weeks. No, this. And he goes, well, yeah,
in the ER though, it is very busy. It's a weeks notice. And he goes, well, yeah, I think he are though.
It is very busy.
It's a difficult job.
And maybe he just couldn't get out.
She goes, oh, well, I think you just trying to help them out, Daddy, but okay.
Okay.
Well, that's a perfect segue into talking about Lisa Nicole because that was the big thing.
You know, I've had last episode.
Lisa Nicole showed up solo.
She's like, well, Darren can't be here
because he has to work at the year we'll come tomorrow.
And then today it's tomorrow.
And she's like, I just spoke to Darren.
He's on his flight.
He'll be here in five minutes.
And then, you know, so she has to go to the couples therapy
alone without Darren.
And she's like, I just have to say
This is the best group of women in the entire world
Even though you're all bitches and don't support my clothes
Or my pursuit of a baby
Like oh and toils like look at me the baby. I'm a baby
And it's just like a lot of noise.
Yeah, so she's for so many things
about Lisa Nicole, one run, just run girl.
Yeah, I mean, this is, no one knows what truly
goes on in a couple and I get that.
And it really is nobody's place to judge what's going on.
But you're obviously forcing this to work with a man
He was just checked out now if you're gonna be okay with your man cheating and you're gonna have kind of an open relationship
That's fine a lot of marriages work like that
But if you're gonna cry every time he cheats when he's blatantly fucking you over on national TV and lying to your face over and over on
National TV we all see it. You see it. You watch
the episodes back. I mean, at some point you have to, it's like, uh, who said it? Who
said it in this episode? Someone I can tell you, I can tell you exactly what happened.
Basically, Lisa Nicole, if I'm right, you can correct me if I'm wrong. So Lisa Nicole,
she actually has, believe it or not, I thought a pretty nice little monologue. I don't remember food to the women or to us
But she's like, you know when you go through when you when you've had to deal with infidelity and she's crying
She's like you've had to deal with infidelity
It's the hardest thing in the world and you just want to move past it and you're just trying so hard
Not to be a reminder of it that you're hoping you can trust
this person again and you're trying trying trying and to have people remind you of it, it's
so difficult, it's so insulting when it's so raw, it is the toughest thing in the world
and she says this stuff and it cuts to happen like, well a blind man can see, I've issues
of your marriage. For a moment, I was feeling really cynical and then have them lose like,
no. Well, this excuse that Darren had, okay,
first he just couldn't come because he didn't miss his flight.
He just couldn't do it. Okay. So then the next day, he was flying,
but he missed his connecting flight at LAX. I'm like, oh really?
So now he gets a lot of loan in LA.
Yeah, by the way, there's like a million flights from it.
Yeah, million flights from LA to Hawaii, by the way, because it's like the main Hawaii hub.
It's like, main Hawaii labor place.
He could have, this is not a problem.
Yeah, and she is pissed.
I mean, she is really pissed because she's now being humiliated and she knows it.
Yeah, she knows it. And when she said it, the couples therapy, she's now being humiliated and she knows it. Yeah, she knows it
And when she said it the couples therapy, she's like look. I want a baby. That's it
A baby is not something to be judged period and they're like, uh, okay, and first it's Curtis who's like look
I'm not trying to throw shade. I'm not saying it. Yeah, wait what?
Curtis wasn't there. I mean, uh, Eugene was it. Eugene or I get all the husbands confused. Oh, Simone, Simone's husband. Oh,
Cecil, Cecil. Uh, he's like, now look, I'm not throwing any shade. It's just
that when you say you want a baby, it can't, you say, I want to have a baby.
Not we want to have a baby, you know, and then the husband's off saying whatever
he's totally dissaid saying he doesn't want to have a baby. Which he didn't,
he didn't bring up. He just alluded to. And she's like, yeah,
bad. And then she just keeps going on. And she's really upset and has a right to be.
And it does, it must be awkward to be sitting there when everybody's criticizing
your husband and he's not there. Yeah, she can't defend him.
Yeah. And then heavenly, what it, oh, quad told her, um,
least in a coat, nobody has, you can do whatever you want with your life. And then heavenly, what it, oh, quad told her, least in the cold, nobody has,
you can do whatever you want with your life.
And nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your life.
But you can't write a script for other people to perform
on how to react to your life.
I cannot receive a script on how quad will react
to the news of you having a baby.
Quick, I'll be a producer and you be a screenwriter.
Okay.
Mrs. Lico, welcome to my office.
I am quad the producer.
You go now.
Have you saved any money?
Least in the cold for this.
Have you paid taxes on your grosses?
Leads on that cold.
Did you know that guy?
How could save you 15% or more?
Yeah.
And I liked that point that Quad made because I think you can say whatever you want. And other people can say whatever if you're 15% or more. Yeah, and I liked that point that Quad made because you can say whatever you want
and other people can say whatever they want to.
And if you're gonna be the one
who's gonna sit there crying about it,
yes, I get that it would hurt your feelings
but you have to be confident enough
in what you're doing to not care.
Of course someone's gonna say
about a 50 year old woman you shouldn't be having a baby.
What the fuck, you crazy?
Especially when your husband's saying
he doesn't wanna have one. So So just, and then, yeah, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, fighting booze in her coffee cup or whatever. But I have to say later on, Mariah made a good point,
which is like, well, honey, if you question someone
sexuality, then you're allowed to ask
what's in their coffee cup.
It's like, it's true, heavenly.
You gotta be careful.
If you're gonna start hurling those stones
about Darren being gay, it's gonna come back at you
and it might come back in a way that's like,
it's below the belt.
Yeah.
And Toria also did that.
She was like, yeah, you get your husband.
So she actually went up to Lisa Nicole at one point.
I was like, I just wanted to say a very, very thought about
saying your husband was gay.
I was very angry and I didn't mean it.
And I want you to know that when you are sad because your
husband is walking funny after getting a BBC
that you can always call me. I love gay people.
That's like, not helpful at all.
Did we ever get a follow up from the guy last season who was like, yeah, I slept with Darren
because you know, you know, I remember when it happened, we really felt like quad was up
to some bullshit. Like she paid off this guy to say this,
but it's kind of amazing because it's really the first time
we've had a gay rumor, I want these shows
where the rumor was someone saying,
I slept with him, you know?
Well, we didn't think that she paid him to say it.
He was already saying it.
I think she just got him to the event.
Yeah, that's what that meant.
Yeah, he was all over the internet.
I don't know what happened to him. I haven't I haven't read anything about him.
Because that's like a that's a big that's a big deal and sort of a kind of I feel like we
didn't get the follow up that we deserve. Yeah, and I forgot you forget season to season how evil
these women can be like quad is really doing a good job this year, I think for the most part of acting mature and being nice. I mean, she's doing the best she ever
has for sure. But then when she's saying nice things to Lisa Nicole, it's like, oh yeah, you were
the one who brought that guy on camera. Yeah. Yeah. We're live. Oh yeah. Well, it was funny because
Lisa goes like, well, Dan's not here yet. And then, and then Quad's like, Lisa Nicole,
funny because Leasing all like well, Dan's not here yet.
And then and then the class like,
Leasing Nicole, uh, support you right now.
And she's like, um, he just missed his flight.
That's all.
Well, that's, of course,
she kept telling lies because first she said he missed
his connecting flight.
And then the next to some owner, somebody, she's like,
I had to work, but he'll be here tomorrow like she was
telling different stories. Oh, I just, I kind of felt bad for work, but he'll be here tomorrow. Like she was telling different stories.
Oh, I just, I kind of felt bad for her, but then the other part of me doesn't.
It's like the kids still have two parents at home. I mean, they're nannies,
but still like they've got people to take care of and get rid of that fool.
Yeah. At least Nicole, you can, I want to say you can do better.
I'm actually not sure. So we'll see.
There's, there's one point where all the husbands are standing around talking and Mariah comes up.
And the,
Tories has been Eugene is like,
well, look, the gay rumor is fine because as an ER doctor,
if the rumor is that you're gay, who cares?
You can still cut up somebody and someone back up,
like who cares?
But the alcohol rumor, that's even worse because if someone says you're gay. Who cares? You can still cut up somebody and someone back up. Like who cares? But the alcohol rumor, that's even worse.
Because if someone says you're an alcoholic,
then your career's ruined.
Because no one wants to come get surgery by a drug person.
You know?
And Mariah goes,
well, what did she say?
She's like, I could give, I could forgive an alcoholic rumor.
But if someone said my husband will gay, that is something I would not accept. And then she walks off and he's like I could give I could forgive an alcoholic room But if someone said my husband will gay that is something I would not accept and then she walks off and he's like whoa she just walked off
Yeah, and all the men started cracking up because she was acting like she was in some like crazy dramatic woman relationships
She's like
I'm like, eh. Okay.
So, no, yeah.
Quad is getting all the ladies together as a surprise.
She's like, ladies, may I speak with you privately on the side of the dinner table, which
is not the public side.
And they're like, okay.
And Mariah is like, is it about me?
And she's like, you tripping.
And so Mariah refuses to go talk to the ladies.
And she's like, now, unfortunately,
Miss Mariah could not be here
because her status level of paranoia won't allow her
to travel to the side of the table
outside of the public realm.
And Mariah's like, I heard my name.
Ah!
Ah!
Quad loves the superfluous.
The superfluous syntax. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it.
I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if you're going to be able to do it. I'm her feel better. And so they all agreed to do it. And Maraz, like, that call me a boob over there.
I'm gonna take that little shit.
They're talking about I don't have a job.
And that was pretty much the episode, right?
Yeah.
More or less.
Yeah, it was overall really a good episode.
And it made me cry.
So, I mean, I always think if you could make me cry,
then you've done something. I don't know why I'm wrong, but I appreciate
it. Thanks for reminding me of the feelings, okay? Well, everyone, we hope you have a great
weekend. We look forward to podcasting in next week during our anniversary. We anniversary
week and anniversary. All right.
Love you guys.
Everyone go.
Everyone go enjoy yourself a BBC this weekend.
Oh, keep searching till you find one.
We'll talk to you next time guys.
Bye.
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