Watch What Crappens - #375 Top Chef and RHOA: Twirl Camp for Thirsty Children W Latitude

Episode Date: January 24, 2017

It’s the annual Restaurant Wars episode of Top Chef. Who will drown? Over on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kenya and Phaedra hold a Twirl Camp for Thirsy Children and Porsha loses it. Multiple times. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com Timestamps: 00-57:51 Chatter and Top Chef Restaurant Wars 57:51: RHOA See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

come over to Facebook.com-slashwatchwatchwatch-wrapins. And to follow us on social media, go to watchwatchwatch-wrapins.com to find all our social media links. And for our bonus episodes and all of our extras, come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com-watchwatch-wrapins that's patreon.com-slashwatch-wrapins. on dot com slash watch what crap ends. I have crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, to think it's sponsor, Christy Doudy and super duper Sugamama Super Sponsor Madonna Hines with the sexy J. We love you girls. Hello and welcome to the Watch what crap ends podcast. The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on Yeal Burrow. I'm Ronnie Carram from the Roseprix Bachelor

podcast and the real housewives of Beverly Hills audiobooks on iTunes and I'm with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mandelker who's recently relaunched the Banta Blender podcast. Hello Ben. Hi how are you? I haven't listened to it yet He relaunched the banter blender podcast from the big song. It's back. Hello, Ben. Hi, how are you? I haven't listened to it yet, but I saw on Twitter somebody said, I've never identified you. I've never identified with you more than when you went off about egg whites.

Yes, it's been. It wasn't. He's back. It wasn't even egg whites. It's about egg shells. Yes. Back. It wasn't even egg whites. It was about egg shells. Yes, Bantra Blender, it's back. It's back. It took 2016 off, and I think it was a good choice because it was universally viewed as

a terrible year. But it is back. The new episode is up. You can subscribe on iTunes or listen to it on SoundClouds. It starts in a very petty place I complain about. I basically blame my weight gain on the fact that one of my bowls broke and I haven't been able to crack eggs as nicely as I was with that bowl.

And therefore I lost my motivation to crack eggs and make healthy breakfast and everything just fell apart from there. Real petty. Actually, we're talking about this because you should be cracking eggs on the countertop anyway. You shouldn't be cracking them up against the egg. No, okay.

You know, it's funny. I was going to mention that. But every time I've done that, because everyone says you do that, so we don't get shell in the bowl. But every time I crack on the countertop, all I do is just make a big flat, dented, crackly surface in my egg. And then when I eventually have to pry open the egg, dented, crackly surface in my egg. And then when I eventually have to pry open the egg, all those little cracklies that formed,

fall into the bowl anyway. So I've actually pushed back on that theory. Yeah, you know what, that's actually true. I'm still digging shells out of my eggs. So thanks a lot, chef, who taught me that. Yeah, I think, yeah, they, cause all the chefs say that. And I have yet to actually end, and and you make your counter even more messy

I get all this egg spludegin. Yeah, I was gonna say citronella. What's the not syphilis? Salmonella Salmonella yeah girl. Yeah, so I get it all syphilis Salmonella Everything eggs do so many turtle teller But we everything eggs do so many teller um we the episode though we were also drinking rosé and so by halfway through the booth starts to kick in and then it goes into sort of like drunk ramblings about the state of political affairs so be warned eggs and Donald Trump maybe some gentlemen be warned uh we recorded a ago. So don't expect any commentary on the inauguration. Yeah, I am.

I'm doing Brandi and Julie's podcasts this week. Brandi Howard and Julie Goldman of the People's Couch. That's great. They're so great. They are so good. And they have a political podcast now. And I did, they have a segment called gay guys have feelings. And so they said, you know, just whenever you have time,

record a, you know, record a couple of minutes about the inauguration or whatever. So it was 3.30 in the morning on Saturday, I think, 3.30 or 4. And you know, I'm stumbling around, stumbling around in my house, like, blah, blah, blah, blah, like, who am I gonna call then? So I thought, oh, I still have to do this thing.

Girl, I don't even know what I talked about in there, but it was the giant of day. When was that Saturday? I was like, Happy the giant of day everybody. I'm so glad you got a vagina. Cause that was the big vagina march in Washington. So anyway,

that's coming up this week too. So fun times, fun times in the podcast. But the funnest time of all in podcasting is that today marks our fifth anniversary week. Yeah, man, happy anniversary. Happy anniversary to you too. Watch your crap and it turns five,

officially on Wednesday, but we are just celebrating all week by having fun things. Okay, Brian Moilin from Vulture and just the internet in general. He is one of the funniest recappers out there. He has been a guest on the show. He is coming back. We're going to talk Bravo with him on Friday.

We have Amy Phillips joining us tomorrow to talk Vanderbump Rules. Hello. Amy Phillips from Watch What Happens and of course her very own radio show on Radio Andy. So that's awesome. And hopefully we'll be able to get Matt Woodfield to join us on the actual fifth anniversary. It's just all depends on our scheduling. So hopefully that will work out.

And also we have a new new Patreon tier for everyone. Cause as you have heard many, many, many, many, many, many times, you can support us on Patreon. But we just opened up a new tier called listeners spotlight. And unfortunately, I wish I had like an echo when I said that. I don't have a very, very, very, I don't have a sound effect support Hick Depp, or I wouldn't press the applause button but you're on to lazy on a

Mendeid to be applauding and I would not expect you to go in with post-production To to Sweden that up, but basically um You know, we so this show has been on for five years and we have a mass the huge audience and we're really Very very thankful for that so The listener spotlight and maybe we'll come up with a more creative title for it, but we just sort of came up with it five minutes ago. But listener spotlight allows us to sort of give back

or profile some of our listeners. So basically, if you sign up for the listener spotlight tier on Patreon, once a week, we're gonna pick someone from that tier and we'll reach out to them and we'll say, okay, here's some talking points. Record two minutes on this topic, send us the audio file and we are going to put it into the podcast.

So probably for the first wave of these will be like tell us about yourself. So this is gonna be a way to listen to find out about other listeners, why they like Brava, what shows they like, what they're really into, etc, etc. I'm excited personally. Yeah, it's probably give you a topic to rant on, you know, like a little happens monologue. Yeah, and you might get chosen multiple times, you know, as we cycle through people,

you know, so like just because you got to say say, hey, I'm so-and-so, and this is what I like to watch, doesn't mean it's then that was your one moment. Like, once we cycle through, we'll come back, and here's the next thing that you can talk about. So it should be fun. Little field reporters. Yeah, it'll be like, when CNN does their eye, CNN thing, or whatever it's called. Yeah.

All right, well, let's get on with the show. Ben today, we have top chef and real housewives of Atlanta. What do you like to do first? It's your choice. Ladies choice, Ronnie. Well, that is really pushing it, but I will take it. Let's do top chef restaurant. Whoa.

Yes. I mean, it's restaurant wars. Got it. It's the best episode of the season for some. Why isn't there anyone at the host stand? I like when Padma comes into the restaurants at restaurant wars and she's like, hello, I have a reservation under Lakshmi. Yes, I have. They know you.

Well, I like it. They also pretend like it's a real restaurant. reservation under Lakshmi. Yeah. Yeah. And they know you. Well, I like it. They also pretend like it's a real restaurant. And it's just like some event space or a sound stage that they've just put some chairs into. And they just pretend like all these people just walked in off the street like and as it as if it weren't that a whole bunch of PAs were corralling a bunch of people they got off the Craigslist and put them in line. And I was like, okay, okay, you're clear to go. You can walk in now.

They're not even bothering with the design, the restaurant part anymore. And now they're just like, look, Gail put in a complaint to HR. She's like, I've gone through a lot of flower dresses, okay? I'm not going to get stains all over this pattern dress. I want a place with air conditioning and a decent chair. That's it. Or I'm not doing restaurant wars.

And I'm like, okay, here's just a nice room, a nice open room to sit in with air conditioning and a decent chair. That's it. Or I'm not doing restaurant wars. And I'm like, okay, here's just a nice room, a nice open room to sit in with air conditioning. She's like, thank you. I will show up in a terrible pattern. Thank you. I like how, you know, every season, one of the big problems is, as you mentioned, there's not, there's not someone there

to greet Padma and the gang. It's, it's, no matter what, it's every single year. It's like the fatal flaw. Like we've been waiting here, no one's there to greet Padma in the gang. It's no matter what, it's every single year. It's like the fatal flaw. Like we've been waiting here, no one's here to greet us. And this year, I don't know if it's happened before, but this year, both restaurants greeted Padma in the gang, but they still found a way to complain about it because then once Padma, Padma and Tom

and everyone were seated down. Like 10 minutes later, Padma looks over to the host, and it's like, no one's seating the guests. There's no one there to greet the guests. It's like, I'll still found a way to work it in there. Yeah. And this year they had, one, they had guest judges where they brothers or lovers, I couldn't really tell.

I don't remember. Yeah, I don't know if they came out of the same room. Oh, no, they were, they were, they were, oh yeah, I don't know, they looked the same, didn't they? Yeah, they like look different, but also the same, you know, like brothers. Like you could tell the difference, but they still look like they came out of the same way, or they've just been fucking a long time, because gay couples look like brothers after a while to you, because men have this like weird

fascination with themselves and must date themselves every single time, you know. Yeah. If I had a nickel for every fat bald guy who asked me a question at a bar, so who knows? But one of them works the interior of the restaurant and one works the kitchen. So we have like an interior queen and it was so funny. Every little thing is like, well, that bread basket, you know, I really like how she's walking around with the water.

It's like, oh, girl, please. Stop pretending like the water refills are as important as the chicken temperature. Yes. So basically, yes, it's restaurant wars week. The group is split into two teams of four. One team is Katsugi, Kasey, John, and Sheldon. What did they name their restaurant, Southern Bell, because it was going to be Southern-esque food.

I think that's what I was thinking. That is the most popular strip club in All of Trost in the Southern Bell. But it still was a better name than the other team. The other team was Silva, Shirley, Brooke, and Emily. And the other team, they named themselves Latitude, which made no sense. They're like, we want to be about to see, okay, let's call it Latitude. Sounds like a late night show on local TV about, you know, where to find Poké in Los Angeles. Yeah, or just like how to get places. It's like a Google Maps podcast or something.

Late night. They should get Felicia back or what's her, Felicia from another world, Linda Dayno. Latitudes. Well, where'd you guys drive this weekend and what brat did you take? I'm here on the 101 with the most popular highway in all of Los Angeles, but did you know that it intersects with Western Avenue? Let's go find out more. Dingly earrings, dingly earrings, get older pads. Here we are, Western Avenue.

And as you can see, there's a way to get on the highway, but how do you get off it? Well, it when you get off a 101 going southbound at Western Avenue You're not on Western Avenue at all. You've taken other road This has been a day. No for a lot of you way Gonna love in a pink I've just loved that song lead to me too girl make a right turn it pink Cadillac That's crazy so I love that show I feel like the theme song for latitudes with Linda Dana is like I don't know why I totally yeah someone like like the the ways noises link make it right well this episode of Top Chef Begin in the the way that the best episodes of the season begin with Lena Dunham crying about something

Mm-hmm, and it was so good cuz last week by the way I'm saying girl and rolling my head a lot cuz I was so gay this weekend. I was around so many gay people I came back like Mikey from real House, so I said Beverly Hills. I'm like, everything girl. Let me tell you about that. Oh, so anyway, the last episode was tattoo guy who dedicated this to my kid with the limp or whatever. Quitting, basically.

Well, he had his immunity on the line. So they were like, you're a sucker by. So he's out. And Lena Dunham now feels the line. So they were like, you're a sucker by. So he's out. And Lena Dunham now feels really guilty because Tom was like, well, if he hadn't done that, it would have been you. She's like, oh. So she's like, by the way,

and we, we inaccurately attributed that line to Padma last week and we're saying, well, Padma's such a bitch. She hates such a bitch. She hates women, but it was actually Tom who did it, not Padma. But that still stands. Padma's a bitch and she hates women. And you know what, you go, Padma. So this started with them going back to the house and she's all upset and cats is like,

Oh, do you feel bad? Do you feel like it's your fault? Do you feel like it's your fault? Because it was kind of your fault. Do you feel bad? She's like, you know what? I don't need this. I don't need this right now. She's like, do you what? I don't need this. I don't need this right now. She's like, do you don't want to celebrate? Do you want to celebrate with maybe a beer? Because you know you're still here and you shouldn't be still here. And Sean's like, hey, how about you just leave

everybody alone tonight? And he's like, no, that's celebrate. I'm on a linea, Donna. Come on, let's, she's like, fuck you! And she runs off crying. Love it. It's great. I loved it. I loved it. Yeah, it's great. I

Loved it and then Susie went into the bunk bed and it's funny that they're all shoved in these little rooms because Poorly, they done I'm sitting on the top bunk crying and Susie's like talk about it Did you did I call her see I keep calling you so you see it's all I write down. I'm so sorry. I Don't know why I do that. Yeah, it's okay Lena and Susie are on the bankbed. Okay, people are like what's so is this Welcome to the podcast. We're talking about people in a show that doesn't even exist Don't that show with with Lena and Susie and Latitudes whatever

Okay, I just like the fact that she that's certainly trying to help somebody but her voice is just not soothing You know, yeah, she's like talk about it People gonna talk shit Go ahead talk about you want to hug me hug me. It's like, talk about it. People gonna talk shit. Talk, go ahead, talk about it. You want to hug me. Hug me. It's like, whoa. I'm a turn-out. Actually, I do think that's you. Now I'm saying Susie. I do think that Shirley is very maternal, believe it or not. I get a super maternal one, but like maternal and not like some sweet like oh mommy's gonna make it better maternal in in a I'm going to yell at you because I know It's right for you and don't worry. You're going to get into Yale now. Yes, and also like kind of like wacky mom like wacky maternal like Yeah, mom's wearing around to wear outside her pants again today, you know

I don't know if I see Shirley as wearing her underwear outside of her pants I do I'm so busy. I'm so busy. I put my underwear on the outside of my pants. That's crazy. I see you're being wacky as in like showing up with a blossom hat. You feel like she's like that. This formal event, right? I love show. We have to we should actually make a um, a beer calling her. You say now you're calling her. Shirley. I love show we have to we should actually make a um you're calling her her you say now you're calling her

Shirley I love it she is her name is Shirley. Oh damn it. Alright let me write this really don't mock me for calling her by her given name. I don't even know any more like I literally don't think of Susie Vogels Susie Fogelson. Because they're so similar. Yeah. Susie Fogelson were on top, Chef. She would just like stir something three times, like, ah, it's too much. I don't understand this brand, I'm sorry. She would just like excuse everyone.

And like, uh, Susie, you can't do that. You're a contestant. Well, I'm afraid, uh, I'm afraid that's been correct. You're excused from the show now. Oh, my God. What's wrong with Susie Fogelson? right? That's incorrect. You are excused from this show now. Like, what's going on? What's going on? So you keep focusing. So he focus and she doesn't really cook anything and she just keeps

eliminating us. So everyone knows that it's restaurant wars and there is that point in the season where they're just damn tired, you know Yeah, which is what's great about restaurant wars because it always comes when they're Beading down and yeah, they're always about to just start crying and they actually look like it right now All the chefs have kind of watery eyes like both from being tired, but also probably from crying, you know And brick is standing next to Sheldon and she goes man, I don't know about you But I feel 90 years old today and he's I'm like you're saying next to Sheldon and she goes, man, I don't know about you, but I feel 90 years old today.

And he's, I'm like, you're saying that to Sheldon, dude. Like, he heard himself on Doodles. He gets it. He gets it. He's carrying noodles at New York. You probably is like, fuck you, Brooke. Fuck you. You have a functioning back.

Oh. I have noodle back. Oh gosh. Okay, so let's see. The teams are deciding on what rules they're going to take in the challenge. Surely. Sure. Yeah, well, I like a woman in front of the house.

Don't need to sound sexist, but that should be a woman's job. Oh, John. Yeah, well, it is sexist, but in this case, it's probably the best choice given. Like, you'd either have Sheldon who'd be, you know, you know, something around John who you don't want to have. I heard my back because I carried a rolled up thing of silverware, and I tripped and I can't walk anymore. Like, can you carry these menus, actually, because, you know, bed rest?

Um, I'm just going to point to your table. Uh, bed rest. I'm just gonna point to your table. Good luck. Laptop. No, Southern bell. Southern bell. John, you don't want on the front because John's a disaster and Katsugi, you don't want, you know, Katsugi's just, I just, it's not appetizing. Yeah. So, yes, so.

I'm appetizing. He's also just rude everybody. He's also rude and he's not as hilarious as he thinks he is. Yeah, so you want a table for five? Oh, okay I'm gonna give you a table for six because your ass is so big. What is funny? What? Yeah, the thing is with Katsugi that's significant is that Katsugi and Shirley both when they had to pick knives They were at the beginning of the challenge. They're the ones who picked the knives that allowed them to pick the team so they're basically like team captains and Katsugi decided not to be executive chef because

He he decided he wanted to do three courses, which was crazy You wanted to do three courses and so he seated it to John who You know John's like well, I've been make I've been making restaurants for the past like 10 years 10 like every like 10 restaurants per year Since I was like a baby, you know, so so he's gonna be the executive chef in case he's gonna be you know the hostess etc So that was a big issue that came up later that Katsugi abticated his leadership role. Yes, and Katsugi also did that because he didn't want to be kicked off. And it's always executive chef that gets kicked off, you know, we're the front of house. Yes, chef or the host. Yeah, so he was

trying to play it smart. But he still did the same things that they're always on his ass about doing, which is just taking on too much, you know? Always. Yeah, and you know, Katsugi, uh, subscribe to this whole thing. Well, it's top chef you got to take risks. Like, no, you, I mean, you want to take measured risks, but you want to be able to serve a good food at the end of the day. Um, and so this, like, you're not going to impress anyone by doing three dishes.

I think if you do one dish amazingly, you have a much better shot than doing three dishes where two are pretty good and one's terrible. Yeah. Well, he made his bed, basically. But I love when they were picking the knives and Lena Dunham's like, I know, I'm like dodgeball. I'm going to be last. I was like, this is not like dodgeball. I'm gonna be last.

I was like, this is not like dodgeball because no one has the pleasure of seeing you getting ahead with the hit night dodgeball. I mean dodgeball would be actually better. I need to see a ball bounce off of her face. Then she get matched. Like, oh, this is just like restaurant wars. I think that like how about she stops cooking badly and then she won't be picked last.

Yeah, that's the thing I'm really surprised about with her is that she's just not putting out very good food. I mean, it's pretty consistent that every week she comes out with something kind of crappy, you know, and if they say like, Oh, I am surprised that your dish was less shitty than usual. She's like, yeah, prove myself. Prove myself. No one threw up. Yeah, I mean, this week was the first week where she actually seemed to get decent reviews on something.

But the reason why she's picked glasses is because it's been several weeks now and the chefs know what it's like to work with her and they know what her food tastes like. And based on that, they're going to choose her last. And they also know that she's just going to throw them all under the bus at the end to try and save the ass. Yeah. That's true too. Yeah. Blister hurts. I mean, that's the past progressive. She never speaks up when she's supposed to and then she waits for things to go wrong and then in front of the judges, that's when she complains.

Yes. No one wants to work with that. So let's see here. So, Silva had an odd, so such an odd guy. It's like, I love Silva. He always kind of comes out of nowhere with something. And this time he's like, yes, we were at this stage in my restaurant when it was burned down by an arsonist. So now, I have the perfect opportunity to put that fire behind me. I was like, what I heard that I felt so terrible. I mean, you know, he probably put his heart and soul into making a restaurant and arsonist burnt it down. It's terrible. It is.

It's just such an odd, it's just such an odd way to get over that. I'm so happy. Well, I got to pick the clams. So totally over that burning down of my dreams. I was happy because I was like, finally, a more interesting backstory because again, everything is always what Jamie went through. Well, I was working for Chef John's Duration. I picked up a pretty nasty hair at a addiction.

You're like, okay, or it's like, well, I never really did well in school. I didn't really get along with my parents, but I'm warm for cooking. Man, I'd be on the street. I'd be lying in a gutter right now. So cooking really saved my life. Oh, great. Wow. I dedicate this hamburger to the mom who left me like, whoa, okay, delicious. Hmm. Yeah. I spent a year in Nicaragua, a year in China, year in Guam, and I've learned so many amazing things, which really helped me move past my

debilitating crystal meth addiction. The only thing I remember from my staying guantanamo is how to make decent dumplings. So I'm glad I could turn that into something positive for my kid. When I got a tattoo of a pig on my arm, I did it because I love to make pork belly, but also as a reminder of how my heroin addiction led me to some of the cruelest sex dungeon in all of South Korea involving, including one where I had to... ...filate a pig.

So I never want to forget that low. My ass is still stretched out from that time I ran into a gang of cowboys when I was on heroin in downtown Los Angeles. So I'm really glad I could make that butt steak. Thank God. Thank God for learning how to make a good a moose-boosh. Otherwise, I would still be there in an opium then in Rancho Cucamanga. Glad I can finally make an a moose-boosh instead of just a boosh. I was just too depressed to put the a mouse on the beginning of it. Glad I got over that. If I had never learned about the subtle terms of a sous vide steak, I

might still be selling my body for cheap thrills and crack. I got a girl named Sue. I got a girl named Sue pregnant one time. She won't call me back. I dedicate this dish to her. Yeah, so I appreciated so of being like, yeah, I was actually doing something really productive with my life and someone burned it down. I was like, okay, I feel like I can actually root for that a little bit more than the same old tire cliche. I was on drugs and food saved me.

Yeah, it was probably the heroin addict who burnt it down. Yes, your bus boy. So lean that way. Oh, go ahead. I was just going to say, we're going to still, you know, I think I think still was adorable. And I think the reason why is because he has very small features and they're very close together.

But he's got the circular face, but his eyes and his mouth and nose, they're all sort of small and close, and I think it makes them look adorable, like a little teddy bear. Yeah, like a little kind of Snapchat filter where everything's pulled to the middle, and it's really cute. Yeah, he's like a Snapchat filter without a voice changer.

Which I appreciate, because I'm really sick of the voice changers. Me too, and people keep doing them with high voices. And it's like, it's already making your voice higher. They talk like this. By the time it's on their Snapchat, I'm like, I can't understand you anymore. Someone, by the way, a few days ago, sent me a snap set. So I don't know who this person is, but they had they have been recently sending me a lot of dick pics. And this one they sent a penis and they drew a hat on it and said happy inauguration. I find

it for who that is. Do you? Do you get it? Because I get them too. He sends the most creative dick picks. It's always I actually like shopped picks. I actually I blocked him. I felt bad because I just felt like I felt like, you know, I, these were amusing at first, but I kind of feel like the consistency of dick picks receiving from this person, it's starting to actually feel weird. It's actually hilarious to me because he'll do ones like the Buzz Be Berkeley dick pick where it's his dick, but they're in like formations like a big Buzz Be Berkeley number. I'm like, these are the most creative dick picks I've ever seen him.

Did you send you the one where it was like six dicks, like six, and like a circle. Yeah, that's someone I'm talking about. Yeah, we're set your face here. Well, look, I don't know about the dicks, but I like my face to be framed nicely. I mean, maybe I should unblock them. I mean, geez, so sue the guy for trying to give your face a decent frame. I'm actually so happy to hear that we both receive the same dick pics. I'm semi upset by this news, but you know what? I share everything else with you.

Well, now you have exclusive access to dick picks since I blocked it. It doesn't count. It's supposed to make me feel better. I returned to send her. I like that we I like that we share that. Happy anniversary. I'll I'll unblock our dick picks. Enders. That way. Anniversary. are you sure our dick our our we can we can compare the dick pics yeah we can have an update on this dude's dick pics okay Ellen block them okay so back to the show let's see here uh Lena was starting off as a whiny bitch because she's Suzy is the head chef of her team the executive chef and so I'm Suzy is that right surely so um I seriously wrote Suzy a million. You know what maybe I should do a find and replace all so I don't keep doing that But she was the head chef and she's very you know surely so she's like oh we do this and

Selena done. I was like well. I was thinking oh no, we do this and she's like oh well, but I really want to know we do this Lena puts her hands in her hair and she's like, oh, I just, okay, okay. But Shirley is great because this is where Shirley does say that she's sort of maternal and she's right because she's maternal in the sense of not, let me, oh, let mama fix everything for you. She's maternal in the sense of like, you do this,

you do this, this is your tour, this is your chore, this is your chore, uh-huh. And then when Lena Dunham, you know, Lena Dunham wanted to do something with Teresa, squid and Teresa. And she was like, ah, no. And so then she was suddenly, and I'm like, well, I guess maybe this idea, and she was like, I love it, I love it.

I was like, that's, did the perfect thing. You took her down a peg, but then you supported her for the second round. And so now, Lena's feeling better. And then she like skipped a waist smiling. It was so funny. Like a little kid. Yes!

So let's see the next day, the other two guys. And also, by the way, by the way, I want to say, I mean, you know, I love, I'm like obsessed with Shirley. I love the way when she got, she's like, yeah, I'm executive chef and that's just the way it's gonna be and this could be my vision. I'm like, that's what you need to be. I'm like, I'm rooting for Shirley. I want her to win the whole thing.

There's a good chance that she will, sir. I think there's a very, very good chance that she will. I think that they're probably feeling like they should give it to Brooke. But Brooke, A Brooke is best when she believes in herself, but not quite enough. Like Brooke's best kind of sad. Let's face it. Like I really like Brooke too, but I don't need a happy Brooke in my life. I need like a kind of disappointed in herself, Brooke, to make me breathe. And it'll probably be her ins

surely at the end. And and yeah, you still though Yeah, yeah, but I'm guessing those two for sure will be We'll be in the finals, but Brooke is falling down quite a bit I mean she's either on the top or the bottom, but she's yeah, she has more than usual in this Yeah, although she else she did stumble her season a little bit to but yes, she has taken a few surprising missteps stumble her season a little bit to, but yes, she has taken a few surprising missteps. Yeah, so she's got to get her shit together. We, Ronnie, what we really should do is we should do a top chef, not just go to Shirley's. We'll go to, we should go to Brooks too.

We'll go down to the triple and ply Delray. I would love that because it's really, I've been there, I think two or three times. It's really delicious. We'll go there, we'll get some Brook food, then we'll go down to Orange County. We'll find Shirley's and that's really delicious. We'll go there, we'll get some Brook food, then we'll go down to Orange County, we'll find Shirley's, and that's probably enough. But maybe to burn it off, we can get a cup that nice batch. That would actually be amazing. So the next day, the other team gets to go shopping and good news. Holfax is letting them back in. Yeah, they're staggering because they're doing it on separate days. But this is a bad sign because John is like,

oh, no fresh crab. Oh, sure, I'll take imitation crab to make a mental with it. I mean, John, I know that you're working a lot and you don't watch the Food Network, but anybody who has a Food Network knows you don't put cheese in the fish together. I mean, that's an automatic Nigella cut right there.

That's like an iron chef by he. Yeah, there's only, I've only been able to, there are certain exceptions to the fish and cheese things. You could do a tuna melt. You can do a crab and cream cheese situation. You can do, I went, when McCormick and Schmix used to be around here, I remember going and they have some it's

And crazy things like a stuff salmon with like crab and Bree and that work too, but a Pimento and crab Especially like especially Like canned crab at that point you should just do imitation crab meat because that should still is just and it'll probably better than the Then like the canned lump meat. Yeah And then he said I'm just gonna get the fake. I'll hide better than the, than like the candle on meat. Yeah. And then he said, I'm just gonna get the fake. I'll hide it in the Pimento. It's like,

well, then what's the play of even having it? If we're gonna hide it. Yeah, we all knew that was gonna get ugly. And then Casey's like, well, I'm the friend of the house. So I'll be doing a strawberry lemon sorbet. I was like, oh, good. Casey, I really just want to love Casey,

but I can't decide whether I feel bad for her, whether I want to hug her, whether I'm going to slap her. I don't know what. But lemons were bay, no girl, no why. And then she's doing the front of the house and nobody wants to walk into a restaurant. And sure enough, she did it when she was hosting and they had some randos walk in. Where the hostess is going, hello, welcome to Southern Belle. We're not Southern, but we really appreciate Southern food.

And here's how we feel about it. It's like, bitch, could you get me a table? I think I'm here to listen to a hostess monologue. See me. Exactly, exactly. And on top of that, like, we're not Southern, but here's how we feel about it. We're gonna put in a bunch of like Mexican food.

Yeah. courtesy of Katsuji. Yes. This Katsuji was like okay southern food so how about it tamale and they're like um that's not southern food. he's like okay. he's like how about a halal tamale. it's like no. no. he's like okay okay. I got an idea. how about tamale. katsuji. no. Okay, okay. What about Timali? And then he said, uh, well, you know, everyone is playing a safe doing one dish, but I need to be aggressive and I've spoken because being an immigrant, sometimes your voice gets lost. I was like, your voice does not get lost. It gets muted. Yes. Yes. Please please sir. And then cats who you told his story about how when he came to America, I think he was treated badly and then he went to culinary school and he was an illegal immigrant and they found out that he was an illegal immigrant and they

could have reported him but instead they said, go be the best chef you could possibly be darling. immigrant and they could have reported him but instead they said, go be the best chef you could possibly be darling. And the best illegal immigrants you can be darling. Tamale, if you only remember one thing from this culinary school, remember this Tamale. Now go forth. When you drive over the bridges, just hear my name and say tamale tamale. Like what is that guy keeps saying tamale tamale? Why is he so into barbers? Try and say it also. Little Prince of Tides reference there everyone.

You got to pull it out. To all you. Every now and then you got to pull out a 27 year old reference. Well, we got to keep it going with latitudes. Yeah, latitudes. Yeah, so when Katsuki told that story, which was actually, it was actually a really nice story, and side note, Katsuki always becomes more likable when he drops his like bullshit

and is actually, you know, speaking from the heart. And you're like, Oh, Katsuji. And he's like, Oh, Katsuji. But at that point, I knew either Katsuji or Silver was going home because they both told sad stories. Yeah. Which meant that one was going to get redemption and one was going to fall in their face and go home. Yes, well also John because he told the sad story about imitation crab and pimento. Very sad. I mean, for John, that's a very personal story. God wouldn't pimento cheese be so wonderful right now? Pimento cheese is always wonderful.

With out some shredded cheddar and thresom mayonnaise in there. What do you want in invitation? Excuse you. I don't need that sort of sass for my podcast co-host. Because you're talking about Katsujee. Have you ever had Kentucky beer cheese? No. Well, I think you, I think we've talked about food wishes, right? That, that website. Oh yeah, I love food wishes.

He's great. And like two years ago, he had a recipe. He introduced a recipe called Kentucky beer cheese, which is a cheese that I think is it's a cheese dip that's popular in Kentucky. Look it up. It is so delicious. He the way the way he describes it is it's sort of like a Pimento cheese. And that you basically you take some like shitty beer, like a bud light, although secretly I love bud light, bud light, and you leave it out overnight, so it gets flat and nasty.

And then you basically, you put the beer and some cheddar cheese and some dried mustard powder and some other things, cayenne pepper, into a food processor, and you blend it all together and it becomes like this cheese dip. And the first bite, it's like weird, it's like this weird sour, funky thing dip. And the first bite, it's like weird. It's like this weird sour, funky thing. And by the third bite, you cannot get enough.

And you were hooked. It is so good. I love food wishes. Have they ever shown his face the food wishes guy? Yes. His face comes up every now and then. And he sort of looks like the guy who did the micro machine commercials. I don't know who that is. I imagine he looks like the time to make the donut sky. Does he look like that? Yes. He does. That's exactly what he looks like. He's balding. He's got a bushy mustache. He's like, he has, there's one video where he talks.

And the entire time when he's talking, it's like when you see the voice behind a cartoon character, like when the cast of the Simpson's talks, and you're like, this is too weird, because I'm hearing the voice. It's coming out of your mouth, but I don't believe it's like the same thing. Yeah, I think that when I see radio people, because I like to listen to a lot of talk radio, and then I see their pictures on the radio website, and I'm like, oh no, you poor cross-eyed little guy. But yeah, the food-wishers guy I pictured looking

exactly like that. I love food-wishers, maybe I'll watch it later. Yeah, Kentucky beer cheese. As long as we're talking about Pimento cheese, go look up Kentucky beer cheese and honestly, make it because it's really tasty with like a like a week then. Oh, isn't it? Isn't anything? Okay. So let's get back to this chain.

And she just arrived at the restaurants. Gales terrible outfit. I wrote. And also Tom's glasses. I like that Tom's like, well, you know, I'm gonna, they want me to show more personality. So I'm gonna get some orange glasses. You know, you make a, make a many, you can't read it. I got glasses on. I can't read it.

You can't read the many. Is it my orange glasses or is this many stupid? This is so. Let's see. So the first thing out is Brooks. We're doing latitude first. Yeah. I think I've been a lot of to this first. Yeah, latitude. And Gale's like, I like this slightly nautical theme. So I don't know why it's called latitude. It seems like a magazine for retirees who are going to go on a cruise ship somewhere, but that's fine.

I actually took screenshots of the menus so we could say what they had today. Latitude inspired by the sea. Really? For appetizing, they should this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is inspired by the sea look fish whoa you guys was this inspired by the sea look it's an imploded starfish because there's a thing happening with starfish along the coast these days that where they're all like their limbs are exploding off of themselves oh my god that's a leaner dish it's like well I brought you a study and exploded starfish it's inspired by the sea so like if you want to criticize it go ahead ahead, but I'll stand by it. I don't know what's

worse, the fact that she served a starfish that she served a starfish that's been exploded or that she called it a study in starfish. Time is like, I don't, this makes me pine for the mudge outer. Now for some reason during this, during this menu showing, when they were showing the audience the menus, they had a food network symbol up, which really was weird because the whole time I was thinking food network is not going to like this pimento. And it was actually the food network logo popping up. So I guess they're, what's by the say, I swear, I'll send you the screenshot right now. I know it's crazy. Oh yeah, I need to see the screenshot

because I don't know. I know I sound like a net case, but hold on. I'm gonna say you realize that if this food network started that Pemento crab dip would have won the entire challenge. Let's just put that out there. I need to enjoy one just for knowing what Pemento is on that. So I mean, they wouldn't win just for knowing what Pimento is on that. So PmG that's crazy. Pimento is not the name of some sort of comedian lady. No, that's Nancy Pimento. Oh, um, I'm waiting for you. Oh wait, I texted it to you.

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Did you watch this? Did you watch this off the internet like did you download it's already. Did you watch this? Did you watch this off the internet? Like, did you download it? There you, sir. Yeah. Totally, yeah. Well, then obviously, this is what I'm going to suggest that this was probably ripped from like Food Network Canada, and on Food Network Canada, they probably show top chef. Oh, okay.

Oh, I like your mystery. I like your... Wait, no, it says... I like your torrent downloading mystery solving been Yeah, thank God. Thank thank God for that useless ability in my life So anyway, this menu is up and the first thing out is I thought it was Brooks thing, but whatever It's actually the squid ink Pasta this is lead a Dunham squid ink pasta with shrimp butter and lemon bread crumbs Sounds delicious. It does not sound delicious to me Squid ink. I'm sorry. I don't care what anybody says that shit is nasty. What?

Oh, I like I like up here black fishiness gross. I like a black pasta. I think it's sexy Turning into Nigelik shrimp butter. I mean come on shrimpel. Shrimp butter. I mean, come on. Shrimp butter, that sounds wonderful. Yeah. But they couldn't taste the shrimp butter. They didn't like that so much. They didn't love it. This was definitely the weakest, well, the second weakest dish, next to the dessert.

Just one random thing. You know how they have waiters come in from off the street. It's like the homeless people from off the street. And that lady with a red hair. Here's your squidding sheep up the street. And that lady with a red hair. Here's your squidding pasta, ma'am. I know when he was giving her attitude. He's like, did you take out the plates? No.

Oh my God. She was scary, but one of the waitresses was so funny. She goes, are you ready to order a huge smile? And they're like, we'll take the snapper. And she goes Wonderful choice You've tasted that snapper Okay, I'm trying to move past all the I'm looking at so many things on my computer screen So the next thing yeah, because we just we still have a land of the news. I'm surprised that Brooke

Okay, yeah, we can just start speeding through Well, well, you can still say what you're going to say. I was just going to say, I'm surprised that Brooke did so well with Tild or Cured King Sammon with all of them. I was surprised to, but at the same time, I feel like that's where Brooke is really good at. It is something clean and simple that just works very well. And this is a great counterpoint to Katsuji because here, Brooke just made, I mean, cured

King salmon is almost always going to be delicious, right? And Kaurabi is one of these overlooked root vegetables that can be used to very nice effect, adding a little crunch to it. And then almond tiger milk, that just sounds, to me it actually sounds delicious. And that's a great example of how a simple dish letting the flavor shine. And this of course is me who didn't eat

a single bite of it, but whatever. Yeah, most of it sounded pretty simple. I mean, the craziest thing was the squid ink pasta, which isn't crazy, but I mean, the other things were local snapper Yeah, and then Pam that was hell of it though the local snapper with broth that was

Was that silvers or was that surely as I can't remember? Well, they both took one and So this like well our goal is to do one dry and one wet So we're going to do one with broth and then one That's semi-dry You don't need to start by the reinvent titles of things you making the grill damn fish over rice, okay? I Know but it's still it. I mean look that pan roasted halibut with it's fennel dusted with

Island mushroom rice that must have been oh oh is that island or is it bland it looks like it says bland blonde it's blonde it's blonde mushroom rice yes spell drawn it is it is it blonde it does look I think I land but the I asked is squeezed that's probably that's probably I think that's so I think so what did I like that someone so, I think so with the do something like that. Someone would put bland much rice. And the judges would act like it's the newest thing ever. Gail, whoa, this is actually bland, which I love the blandness of this bland rice.

I mean, they really nailed the blandness on this. I really like how the big flavors that made it, which I need are balanced by the blandness of the bland rice. I really feel like this is a new boundary that we are moving into. A bland. So certainly put too much gelatin in her panicata. So that was a fail. But for the most part, they really like this menu. So they like the flavor of the panicata. Yeah, like by the way, they like Emily's butter. Yeah, they did like the flavor.

They just thought the texture was weird. Tom was like, if I, if I'd never ordered a panicata, and this was the first time I ever had it, I would never order it again. Slam. I know it doesn't work with your orange glasses. I'm sorry, but you just can't, like your bitchiness doesn't work the same with those, but they did really enjoy Emily's buttermilk cake. So there's that. Good for you, Carol. Okay. So next next team don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don don't don't don't don't don't don't don don't don't don don't don't don don't don't up after your station. So please clean up after yourself. When I first started in the restaurant business, I was like, oh, God, shut up old man time. Yeah, exactly. Well, so right. So Katsuki has like really put himself in the weeds as they say, because he's doing his three dishes.

He's a disaster. He's basically like the chef in the little mermaid, you know, shit just going everywhere. And John. And what's more lippos, how I love le poisson. Little Malle, little Malle. So, to Japan, to serve little fish. Yeah, so John is helping Ketsuji with every single thing. And Ketsuji is being a baby of bad and saying that John

isn't helping him and then John's like, oh, I see what's gonna happen. You're gonna make me do all this work and then I'm not gonna get my shit done. And then you're gonna blame me for the, you know, oh, I see what's gonna happen. You're gonna make me do all this work, and then I'm not gonna get my shit done, and then you're gonna blame me for the, you know, because like I see what you're doing, Katsujin, because you're like, oh, John, just help me. Just help me, which John was 100% correct, by the way.

Yes, I mean, it takes one to no one, and John is definitely a bitch. And so it's Katsuji, those are like two bitches going head to head, and you can't really root for either one of them, which is like the best fight ever to watch, because you just wanna watch them both get slammed into the into the ground. And then you've got Sheldon on their team and he's like, you know guys, you can't cook good food with hate in your heart.

Okay, Sheldon. All right, because someone carried those noodles for Sheldon. Yeah, he's got love in his heart. Tell your friends. And then Tom and the other judges come in and they're like, what a dump. There's like, you know, Brock Aleney hanging from the light bulbs. It's just like everything is a disaster. And they are going to have to get past like the pirates of the Caribbean ride of Casey at the front door. Oh, actually, Casey wasn't there when they came in. Yeah, no, this is like what they're still prepping. And Casey, Casey's just, she probably

has never been happier to be in the front of the house because that kitchen was such a disaster between those two chefs fighting and making, like, leaving chafers everywhere and fans. They're fighting and making a mess in Casey's. Like, guys, I just want to run this monologue by you about not being a Southern, but really caring about the Southern experience. Anyone? Like, shut up. Get a broom.

She's like that moment on 30 Rock when Jenna walks into the writers room. She's like, excuse me, eights, a 10 is speaking. Just because I always remember one Casey, referred to us up as the hot one on this show. That's funny. Uh, Sarah is smoking out the door.

Close door. Close. Oh, but that, but there was a lot of rolling going on during that chaotic segment. Yes. So eventually, it's time for their, to get going. Southern Bell opens up, Casey's at the front of the house, and everything seems okay for about 10 seconds. But there's a there's immediately a problem, which is that John is expediting like five feet

away from the from like the stove top, as opposed to expediting from the stove top. So he wouldn't be able to like cook and expedite the same time, which is a big problem for Ketsuji, I guess. And things just fall into chaos, because John has a weird system. No one's communicating. It's the classic thing where the servers are, there's confusion with the servers and the food runners and Casey

ends eventually the entire machine just clogged up and just that. No, John's like, now, did you get that order and the waitress is like, you're not a dollar, he's like, you're not panhandling right now, man. Don't do that well, I've copied my mouth. So we get, they start serving the food and the pimento comes out and they're like, what the frick? By the way, before the even the food comes out when they also down they

have this like old queen of a waiter and they're like, so what's good? You think, well, it's all good. The dishes are all over the place. You can get anything you want because this menu has no central thing. It is a disaster. And I mean, in the best way, in the best way. And they're like, okay, better homeless guy. I was a feed critic once. And here's what I think about family style. Oh, geez. Oh, that's right. We should mention that that Southern Bell is sort of family style because that becomes a bone of contention a few moments later. Yeah. Yeah, because it's like a tomali.

Wait a second. How's the family story? They're like, who's their small plates? That's how? How do you share a small plate? It's called topus. Yeah, this team ran into trouble with almost everything. The Pimento was gross. Sheldon, you know, I knew when Sheldon said, well, I make a stew and they'd like to stew,

so I'm going to make the same stew, but this time with a quen squash. It's like, okay, make an effort, dude. Like I get that you're tired in your back, but that's, um, let's see. Okay, so basically we go back, let's just go back to the kitchen, because we got to wrap this bitch up soon. Yeah. The stew sucked. And then Casey had no problem throwing John.

Well, Casey, well, because Casey was basically, um, she had to abandon her front of house duties because the kitchen was such a disaster. She had to go back there and help them cook and help them serve and all this stuff. Yeah. Um, so that's when there were lines of people at the host of stand and that's when Padma's like, there's no one's being seated. There's no one to greet the guests right now. Yeah. Uh, so Padma, basically they're all pissed. Now here's where I get confused. They totally call Katsuji out or not taking the executive chef role.

Like everybody knows that's supposed to move and he's trying to shift the blame. So we won't kick kicked off. So everybody knows that. And then he fights with John, you know, John and he get into a big fight. But John had worse food. I mean, they all agreed that John's food was the worst. Can you run down the menu or send me the screenshot of the menu again? So we can just, I remember that Katsuji, I think they didn't really like it to Molly, but then they liked his beef tongue, right? They thought that was the best protein of the day. Right.

So there were a little conflict about that. Oh my God. Just Greenshot has that bitter waiter on here, which is so funny. It was a mess. They did not like John's Pimenta cheese. They did not like Sheldon's stew. And I'm to remember what okay, so it's not the better way. It's not funny. Okay, I don't remember what they said about Blackberry Cobbler strawberries and butter.

Blackberry? Kind of a kind of a cop. So the Blackberry Cobbler, which I think was also a Katsugi, right? Because yeah, because Kasey did the strawberries and I think she did the butter strawberries and buttermilk. Yes. I believe she did. So the blackberry cobbler, the dough on top was raw and times like, I mean, how you get through it? The top's raw. I mean, you got a cobbler. Top's raw. Yeah, but this one was basically one where they didn't, they didn't choose based on the food because they agreed that John

John really blew it like he had the John was the worst and Katz's Katsuji's tongue was the best but I think they just didn't like that Katsuji Poseidout and then Katsuji came in and tried to fight about it and yes blame John and John's like he came to me and Yes, Lane John and John's like, he came to me and in the stew room, he's like, yeah, he came to me. And if you want to win that badly, then I'll give you my spot. Katsuki's like, that's going to be so made into a gift.

His low cap clap, but it was, I mean, I don't really think I should use that funny, but that was a funny moment. That's hilarious. And it went on for like a solid minute. He wouldn't stop. Yeah, it was really good. I've actually felt bad for Don because you could see John was really frustrated. He did feel like he was, you know, being misunderstood. He made a shitty dish too though. But Katsugi, he was, I'm trying to remember what his big argument was in front of the chef. I mean, he was saying that he was taking risks and

that, you know, he wanted, he wanted to mean, he was saying that he was taking risks and that, you know, he wanted to give, he wanted to give John the opportunity to be executive chef. And they really wanted it and he's opened so many restaurants. He's like, I was just trying to help him, you know, like let him shine. And they're like, oh, okay. Yeah, that was like, that was like, that's like me saying, I want to give Gale the opportunity to wear something terrible. I mean, I don't have to give her that opportunity. She'll just do it on her own. Bless her heart.

When he gets kicked off, get Suji's like, oh, look, I'm the first cook who goes home on my restaurant worth, which is crazy. Mm-hmm. Oh, but look, I'm being like John now, making excuses for everything, but you know, it took a risk. I love that he's just like flinging the bituary on the way out the door. I can't believe this is the first time ever in all these seasons that someone who was not executive chef or the host went home. It's kind of surprising. Yeah well you know they're trying to to play the game and they all have

been on the show so they're trying to game it in a certain way and the judges are like no no and if you're gonna try and make yourself look better by putting yourself on the show. So they're trying to game it in a certain way. And the judges are like, no, no. And if you're going to try and make yourself look better by putting yourself on the chopping block, you're going to go home. You know, they, the judges on this show are heartless. I love it. They're, they're chefs. Yeah. And like, do three things. If you're going to do three dishes, do make sure that you really know what you're doing and that you can do them easily. Like, have some, like one of them be like a soup that can, that can bubble away in the background, like, do the other stuff. Don't do like, tamales are famously labor intensive. I'm sure he can do them pretty quickly because that's what he does for living as he has a Mexican kosher Japanese, something like that. But like, because I think his restaurant is called Mexico sure, right?

We could go there too on our little tour, but I don't really want to. It's on Pico. But it's like, dude, you're not going to press anyone by doing three dishes. I don't think anyone, I don't think ever someone's going to say, well, the three dishes were an amazing, but wow, we did three dishes. That's amazing that he did that. And therefore he should win and not go home. And that's actually only that's ever happened.

But of course. Yeah, and he should know better. He should know by now. He's always getting in trouble for the same thing. But he's gone, hopefully someone will donate some money so he can go to a camp and learn what happiness is really like again. Look at that awkward segue.

What an interesting segue that was like the like the water and Flint, Katsuhji is not filtered. Speaking of Flint, let's go over to real house. Let's go over to Real House. Oh, M G. Oh, M G. And now for the Real House walls of Atlanta. What a good episode. I loved this episode.

It was weird how it started off so sweet. Yeah, really sweet. And then they're like, wait a second. This is Real House walls of Atlanta. We gotta end this and get back to the petty stuff. And you know what, I'm glad they did it because I'm starting to feel hormonal. Like there's something weird I cried during this one because that, some of those camp scenes were just so sweet.

And I cried again during Mary to Medicine. You Jesus Christ, I don't have feelings. I don't understand why this is happening to me. Yeah, you know what Ronnie is referring to is the fact that Kenya and Fadre went up to Michigan to this summer camp where Fadre had basically funded a bunch of kids from Flint being able to, she funded their week at this summer camp. And so, Fadre and Kenya went to sort of support in B there, et cetera, and they put on like headscar,

or they did a hold down the Louise thing, which was funny, it didn't really make sense, but they did it. And I think before we get deeply into it, what really surprised me was that Kenya and Fadre, they spent like a week there. I mean, it was sort of all a little montage, but if you look to the bomb, they're like, okay, day six, days haven't.

And you know what, I actually think that's, it's sort of above and beyond for reality stars just doing an appearance, doing something for a storyline. That's like some real dedication, especially because they are divas. And Kenya was sitting there in that shitty cot. I was impressed by both of them. Yeah, and there were so many sweet scenes. I mean, it even started with them being so nice to each other.

You know, like when Fadre was like, well, I thought I would bring Kenya, because I'm hoping that her story will help. I mean, if anyone understands the thirst of the children, it's Kenya. Kenya, I mean, this is a good moment for Kenya because she really came off looking very nice. She, she, she seems sweet during the whole thing. Even when she saw her caught, she did not give an attitude. She just started laughing hysterically, you know

It was like it was you sort of got the feeling like maybe this is what the real Kenya is when she's not putting on a whole thing for reality TV But then you never know well it also is just so much about what they choose to be offended at like Kenya Any other episode Fajra could have gotten mad at Kenya? Because Kenya's like, girl, is this a room or a prison camp? You know? And instead of being like, oh, she's totally dissing my husband right now. She decided to just laugh and let it go, you know? Yeah, but they drove up to this camp and

it's just like kids are playing in the water. And look, now there's kids over there in that lake. And I'm like, get out of the water! It was like a kid safari. It was like, they were in like little golf carts, and they were just like kids everywhere, and just like running alongside. It really felt like watching a bunch of like giraffes

and elephants, you know, when you go on safari. They were just from all angles, all ages and sizes and races. They've just come running around. You can't really feel like that. I liked that they had things that they teach the children. Kenya's was of course, out of twirl. Yeah. Kenya.

Well, Kenya, by the way, when they were on that golf car, it was like yelling out the kids being like, guess what? I was Miss USA. And they go puppies. They ran to her dogs. It's like, okay. Okay, little fucks.

Yeah. But yeah, Kenya did. They went up and they, Kenya spoke to the crowd and was both being empowering and furthering her attempt at some sort of like catchphrase, which is like when people are mean to you, just say I'm fabulous and twirl. I'm gone with the wind fabulous and twirl and those kids are doing it.

I like the little chunky kid who is like, you're my hero. She's like, yes, twirl batch. I love these house. I was crazy because they're so famous in their own mind. Like Erica James, I still don't give a fuck. Like, oh, you're giving a sequel to your own non movie. Erica, I also like that when Kenya is like, you know, when you have a

hater, you just have to twirl and then cut to failure. You'd be like, oh, like this one again.. This is great. A whole generation of young Kenyas. Yeah, all these kids are going to get kicked out of school because next time they fight, they're going to bring magic wands and start hitting each other over the head with them. So while they are twirling away, like little whirling durvishes, Portia is back in Atlanta and she's going on a date with that adorable Todd. And Todd is basically like, listen, so you know how we've been posting all these ridiculous things

on social media where you're either being slutty or you're saying dumb things about the Democratic National Convention? Remember that time you were catching fish with your ass cheeks on Instagram? That probably was a little bit much from my job. Remember when time you were catching fish with your ass cheeks on Instagram. That probably was a little bit much from my job. Remember when you twerked on the Abraham Lincoln Memorial? Yeah. So, I remember when you picked up that Congresswoman with your ass cheeks and carried her above the crowds on Instagram. Remember when you did a sexy photo shoot from inside the reflecting pool?

Um... Yeah! Like she doesn't get it at all. He's like, oh well you know my company's worried that we won't really represent any the company ride or whatever. She's like... So... company ride or whatever she's like they made me choose between you and my job and I chose you and she's like what you don't got a job how could you make such a hasty decision in my binders lunch I'm gonna order something different why don't you tell me this before I ordered how could you do this I imagine us having a baby in a house and now I only have a side salad coming. How could you do this?

But she just went she went way way way way she went. She is like, you know, Portia's not the brass bull But she's bright enough to know that betting on Portia is a losing bet She's like what even I don't choose me, but I was you know Porsche okay so I you know I I do kind of get what she's I didn't believe you that funny even I don't bet on me She's like, how could you leave DC? They have an actual underground railway. Um, she just didn't like, I don't think she even believed him. I think she believes he got fired for some other reason. Exactly. And she's saying it's some other poor guy who's going to be moving here and living off of her and trying to like, you know, squeeze a life out of her money, which I can get that.

But I don't even doubt that she's wrong actually. I don't, I actually think that like, I think she's being pretty smart about it being like, hey, I'm trying to start a family. I mean, well, her intentions with Todd are a little strange, I think, you know, because he seems like he wants to have a relationship and she's like, I just want a baby. And yet she seems to also like the relationship side of it. But either way, I think that she's detecting some bullshit and she's saying, like, listen, you probably got fired

and don't make it sound like it was a noble choice for you and you chose me. Like, this is bullshit, actually. And if I'm trying to start a family, you need to be more responsible with your job. But that being said, Portia has been on a quest for love for a few seasons now. And this is like the first guy in a long time

as far as we can tell, who actually seems to be really into her. And I kind of feel like it was romantic. So, yeah, it's adorable. He's into you. Just take it and get him a job at Wendy's or something. I don't care. She actually says, I see how beautiful he thinks it is to leave his job for me. It's very eye opening. Like she's mad. Well, I love that she's so mad.

Well, at the same time, you know, she keeps talking about how she's this entrepreneur, this business woman, she's doing making all these moves. So lady, then be a modern woman and pay for your man then. Like if you're gonna boast about that, which I think is great, even though I do have questions about what your entrepreneurial endeavors really are. But if you're gonna do that, then you can support your family, including your man, and your man can raise the baby.

Oh God, no, I cannot coast like that. No, no, no. I'm just saying in terms of like the logic of it, right? Yeah, well, you can't, she's going on a lot of like Porsche. But it is funny watching how desperate she was last year with that guy. She's like, we're gonna get mad. I would like to say you are my trophy. Whatever that whole party was last year with that guy Duke Duke who ran to the who ran for the hills To see how much she's changed in the relationships with this one I think she's a little bit wary that this guy likes her so much and he's so into her

I think she's like hey to man. What's wrong with you? Yeah, because usually they're like terrified, you know But he's had a crush on her for a long time according to her at least Which I think is cute. I think he's so adorable He is well enjoy that smile because she's about to wipe it off of his face. I mean, he keeps trying to make it okay and smiling until he's finally about to cry. He's like, get out. Well, and also with the guys on Real Housewives of Atlanta, they always make a good impression in their first season. If they do make a good impression, I should say, because they don't always make good impression, but if they do make a good impression their first season. If they do make a good impression, I should say, because they don't always make good impression,

but if they do make a good impression by season two, they are like the scum of the earth or they are, I mean, we used to love Todd, other Todd, and now we're like, Todd, you know, you know. So I even liked Matt last season, but now I'm like, oh, Matt. Oh, Matt, oh my God, what will get to you? He had another Instagram rant, by the way, which I don't have in front of

me, but it was required two screenshots of one of our Twitter list supporters, whatever users, followers. I can't think of the word sent us. And at the end, he did this whole rant. And at the end, he just goes deceptive in regards to Kenya. But he spelled it, like D-I-S-C-I-C-I-P-T-I-B see I PTI be it's like, oh, Matt, poor don't have that. We can't end on that. No, Matt. Well, I actually have those screenshots, but since we're running long today, let's just read them in the bonus episode tomorrow,

because it is gold. I mean, it is pure Matt Jordan, gold. Yeah, Matt Jordan. Sure, why not? And we've also got some Stasi tweets to read tomorrow. I mean, the bonus episode is going to be really fun this week. It's going to be lit. It will be lit up. So don't quit your job for it though. Do not quit your job for it. Yeah.

So then we go over to Candie's place where Cynthia has shown up because she's moving in for like a millisecond. And I just love that Cynthia is just sort of awkward in everything she does, including the way she even enters Candie's house while she backs up the hill. Like, and she's like, see? Now, why is she backing up? Why, she going first.

Oh, no. Candie's annoyed face was cracking me up. And she's like, what'd you bring? And she says, well, I brought some personal things to feel comfortable. Like what? She's like, uh, like, you know, wigs, cereal. The breeze, so I don't blow up your bathroom girl. Candy's like, hmm.

We got cereal. She's all offended like since she like Cynthia not she wouldn't have cereal Now, right, there's some captain grunge so we always have it on here So see now Cynthia like you think we don't have cereal here like you don't got to bring those cereal Don't treat me like some bunches of oats Don't treat me like some bunches of oats Just she said I she goes now I'm down for a sleepover

She actually just rolled up in the project somewhere It was laughed and candy't be laughed like this. She's like, Ah! Ah! Ah! Girl! Oh! Oh! Candy's all sad because she'd like set up this whole new serial room where it has like every box known to man and she's like, I don't believe that's in the abroad.

Sarah to my, Sarah to my room. And when she goes, we've got, serial and Cynthia goes, you don't have fruit loops girl. Well, because later on in the morning when Cynthia showed up in Candy's kitchen, Cynthia literally walks into the room with a box of fruit loops under her arm like the morning newspaper. And I start, by the way, I sort of like this Cynthia, the weird Cynthia that carries her fruit loops around like an excelsior. Yeah, I feel like they finally found something with Cynthia that's really

legit hilarious. Where she calls, she's the one who calls before the event that's like, now where are we going to park? Now, how many tables do we get now? How big of the table is going to be? Is the floor going to be clean? So to bring a swiffer like, she's like, I'm just concerned that no, well, I just want no well to have a good relationship with two cans am.

I don't want there to be any sort of break in their relationship because after what happened with the trick's bunny, I just don't want to go down that path again. She can't be disappointed again girl. No, tricks for kids. Riley, do we get to take the bunny to the new house. Well, we're having a little disagreement on how much the bunny's worth right now. So we can't really close on the

tricks bunny right now. But the bunny's like, can I come home with you? She's like, this is awkward tricks, spending. can I come home with you? She's like, this is awkward, Tricks Benning. See, now Tricks are for kids and no, she's like a young adult at this point. So we go back to the camp and just all sorts of sweetness is happening at this camp. Like it was so good. I was crying. They're like, here's how to believe in yourself. And I was like, drip, drip, squirt, squirt. Well, they had like a, well, first of all, Fadre went in zip lining and she just, Fadre zip lining, this was I think the first zip lining

we've ever seen on the Real Housewives that lasted three seconds max and was not, they're not come with a whole production of crying and whaling and fear and antics. It was just like a shot of phage rig getting on the zip line and then just like waving glamorous. Yeah, that's right. I know. The zip line. He's just casually ziplined across the camp. I'm given the children the gift of being confident on a zip line, which they will take through the entire lives. Also soap. But then they had this talent show at night.

And that's when some kids who I imagine were from Flint. They got up there and they were sharing their stories. And yeah, I was like AA for kids. It was so sad. Like they each got up there and told this like terrible sad story. Like 14 year olds and bunkie. So cute. He's like, y'all, y'all know me as

bunkie, but I don't know my mom and dad. I just had picks that I used to stare at and I was so alone. And he starts crying. And the kids on the audience are sobbing. Like this was so cute. They're all sobbing. And then the guys come hug bunkie and then Fadress crying and she takes him off to the side.

And she's like, I will always be here for you. Do you need soap? And he's like sobbing and then they show captions of what the guy who's currently on stage is saying, like it's just no big deal after a bunky, you know. So you think it's going to be like, oh, you know, my mom's not there when I get home from working at sad, but it's not. It's like, and then my brother got shot in the head three times. And it's just like some little throwaway caption at the bottom.

I was like, oh my God. I actually felt like the scene was a little rushed. And I kind of wanted to live in that scene more and really hear these kids stories. And I was like, you know, did we really need Cynthia carrying around her fruit loop? Well, I think actually we did. Do we need so much of the Porsche stuff later? Do we need Shirey and Bob going on a stupid date

at a cabaret thing later? I would have liked that time to be devoted to this. I'd love to all that stuff too. And like Porsche's breakdown, that's like classic real housewives of Atlanta. But I really felt like they're hitting a certain stride this season. But yeah, there is hard to balance people really feeling things with, you know, Porsche in general.

Right. Well, I thought, you know, because I thought when these kids were sharing their stories, I thought they were important stories to share, and it was a really moving thing. And I felt like the scene was, it moved along a little too quickly. I was surprised, actually, that all the camp stuff was kind of sort of stuck in the first 20 minutes of the show. And I want to see more of that. And I thought actually, say what you will about Fadra and her shade and

us, whatever. But when those kids were saying to her how appreciative they were, it reminds me of my friend, Leah. She once was talking about community service, because I think this was like in college or maybe after college. And there was discussion about fraternities and sororities on campus. And a lot of fraternities and sororities do a lot of community

service. And a lot of people are like, well, they do it basically to that way when people say fraternities and sororities are terrible. No, we do community service, which may or may not be true. But I remember having this conversation with my friend Leon. And she's like, you know what? like whether they did it to look good or not

look, whether to look good or came from their heart, the wheelchair ramp still got built. So who really cares? And that's kind of like what this is. It's like, you know, we can talk about how shady Fadre is and she's just doing this to look good. And then she's got a husband and jail and she maybe was a mastermind of it and yada yada yada. But at the end of the day, these kids still got to go to this camp and it was really special to them and it and That's like really awesome. Yeah, I mean, I still stand by the other fadre stuff

But you can be awful and wonderful. You know, it's part of being a human being and really I mean I think that she just didn't get enough credit in the first place. I mean, she sent Apollo to camp too, you know? I mean, she's just, she's just full of feelings this one. She is. And I love how Kenya, the way she was reflecting, she's like, you know, driving fancy cars, wearing fancy clothes. None of that really matters. I'm like, yeah, but you'll still go back to a bitch.

Yeah, you're saying that while you're wearing like a heaven cloud right now, it's probably like $5,000. Yeah, let's let's see you go sign up for the peace going out, huh? So yeah, that was that was really good. I could do a whole I could I could watch a whole episode on that. But unfortunately, we're back in Atlanta with sweaty Bob. Oh, the most exciting part about a Bob, what field scene is wondering how long is gonna take for him to start sweating. So in this case, he takes charay on a makeup date

because the first day that they went on was to that like fast casual vegan restaurant and charay was so mad. When they showed the clips of that, she goes, Bob, how could you take me on a date like this? If it's a date, you know I like seafood. And he goes, there's a fried chicken place up the street, like a go-bob.

He is not seafood. He is a real, he is, God, he really knows how to push her buttons because he's much smarter than he lets on and he, God, I think he really enjoys playing dumb and just like making her making her blood boil. And there was a there was a little table in this Parisian cabaret that he had set up and there was like an order of fries on it. She goes oh, she never got French fries because those are palm freets. Yes, you got palm freets? I love their romantic stories. He's like, yeah, Paris. Remember

one to Paris. We had fun. This is this is the country we didn't get kicked out of. Yeah. And she's like, Oh, yeah, that was romantic. One time we went to Spain and Bob, you know, Bobby and Bob started flirting with some girl and I saw him and I said, what are you doing with that girl? And he didn't, he didn't give me an answer, I like, he doused my face with wine and I started swinging. Yeah, I love how, I love how it's charade brushes things under the rug like that as if they had a disagreement at, disagreement in IKEA or they like someone forgot to bring

the ice cream out of the car after getting groceries. He's like, yeah, you know, we went to the supermarket and I bought ice cream and brought the groceries in and Bob left the ice cream out of the car after getting groceries. He's like, yeah, you know, we went to the supermarket and I bought ice cream. I brought the groceries in and Bob left the ice cream in the in the car. Like I was so mad. And then there was that time when you know, you do one of my face and I started punching and we got kicked out of the country. Like, Jury, they're not. It's like, no, that's that's like a pretty significant thing.

Actually, romantic story is a survey. So she decided to give him another chance, basically. And I think what did it was when he said I appreciate you being such a good mom to my kids because you know I wasn't really there and you were and they're good kids. I mean aside from that driving Driving of the inflows thing from a couple of weeks ago, you know, it looks good without a shirt on good for you She's like, thank you, Bob. This was a long time coming. Now I will get back together with you. So, portion and okay. So now, now this episode turns into portion. So, portion is over in bed with Samia being her maid and doing everything she wants. And notice that Portia never says,

thank you one time to Samia. I can't wait once. No, she's getting her ice cream or getting her whatever because Portia isn't bad sick because it turns out TMZ said she fainted at the mall and Portia's like, the mall, no way. I was at the nail shop.

Yeah, okay, Portia. Thanks for clarifying. But she says that she's been fainting. She's past fainted five times in the past because she's got a condition. We're not enough blood goes to my brain. The jokes just write themselves. Oh, poor, sure, poor, sure. God bless her. God bless her bloodless brain. Yes. God bless her dried out as brain. So Todd comes over to the house with flowers. Of course. And ice cream. I mean this is who you may as a man. Yeah, man. This is a man. Two flavors of ice cream for you to choose from. Hagen Dazs and not just like some

briars or dryers. Shit. This is Hagen Dazs and an orchid. Yes. I think it's an orchid. Yeah, I don't know, flowers. I refuse to learn them because it's just like so guy. Oh my god. I don't want to let this type. Okay, let's get back to our podcast about Real Housewives. Yeah. So she's just being an asshole to him, I think. Yes. She's mad because the other night, she, like they were hanging out and he wanted to have sex in the middle of the night and she was like, I'm reading.

And he's like, come on, you read the side of the back and that's a real box, 12 times already. I said, I'm gonna finish the maze. Shouldn't you get that 3D pebbles back to Cynthia anyway? No. I gave him my lucky charms. They're on the cereal exchange. Yeah, so she's mad that he's horny all the time.

And I work really high. The doctor said this was based on stress. And he's like, why? She's like, really? So she was just going after him for every little thing. And mostly it's about the job, you know. And he's just starting a fight over nothing. And he keeps doing the good husband thing, which

is smile, say you're right, or work on it, whatever. And she won't have it. She just finally kicks him out. She's like, I can't help this. I'm too grown. Like you are laying in bed with two kinds of ice cream. And a flower. You're not eating you're officially not too grown. reading family circus in the newspaper. Um, so, uh So meanwhile, then the next day, Fajr arrives at a restaurant called The Five Seasons, which is just a little bit better than The Four Seasons.

And we learned that I guess Fajr wants to have a lunch to get rainy season child. What do you say? What do you say? Get rainy season child. Oh, child. As fall went to spring summer a rainy season Okay, five seasons

so they she There she's gonna have a lunch to thank everyone for donating to this whole thing this this this flint thing Fager is wearing a pearl choker that looks like a dog collar and it distracted me for the entire duration of the show. These ladies are so funny. I love just watching them all arrive for lunch. I get girl girl girl girl girl girl. And she's me. I would like to thank you ladies for camping. The kids had so much fun. They're still talking about the soap on social media

Oh, and it made me think I want to go glamping and they're like I think candy gives us face like Cynthia is just imagining all the cereal show and be able to eat They got a refrigerator So she's obsessed with camping and then phager goes, who was to hunt for what we eat? So Kenya, one thing we sort of didn't mention was at the end of the Flint experience, Kenya and Fager had a nice moment where they were just, they really feel like their friendship is back on track and they're just aren't gonna Go back down that dark path again. So now the first first step that Kenya is gonna do is

Drive a wedge between Fadra and Porsche so she does that by By bringing up the fact that that Porsche is an anger management and furthermore She's like now I remember that when we went to the escape you know She sometimes things get out, now I remember that when we went to the escape, sometimes things get out of hand, and I remember when we went to the escape room, Fadre told me that Porsche was going to talk about anger management for her homicidal instincts, isn't that correct?

So it immediately makes things weird because it makes it sound like Fadre was really being gossipy about Porsche being in anger management and then since Porsche didn't bring an up, it makes it's Porsche seemed like she was really being gossipy about Porsche being in anger management and then since Porsche didn't bring in up, makes this, porous thing like she was shady about it. So immediately Kenya is back to her old ways, saying, instigating a situation.

And Kenya is just, Kenya is back to being fucking terrible, awful human being that she is. Cause she doesn't even just bring up, she just won't let it go. She's like, I don't know if I'm comfortable going on a trip with someone who won't even admit to being an anger management like Fadre told me you were at the escape room when you, you know, we're trying to be nice, but really hiding the rage that you wanted to murder.

It's like, let it go, you know, and Porsche is trying to do her anger man. You know, she's like trying to ignore it, but Kenya will not let her. And she's like trying to ignore it, but Kenya will not let her. And she's also been, she's also like blindsided by this. She wasn't prepared for it. She doesn't really know how to respond. So she's not really responding at first, so it makes her look like she's covering up. And then, and then Kenya, I mean, Candy tries to actually press the rewind button a little bit and start the start over like here. Let me ask this see Nah, Porsche Are you an angle man?

This man, but at this point Porsche is now so on guard that she thinks that that's an attack from candy Yeah, candy is just saying okay, what she meant to say was we hear you're an anger management How's that going? Yeah, are you doing with that? Yeah, it was it was like an honest question and And that's and at this point, Porsche starts to lose it. Although interestingly enough, Candy is like, see, man, Borsche, she doesn't have anger management. She's not going to anger management. Like, rally, wood, if rally, angry, but she's fat. And then they, they kind of call her correctly. I mean, they're She's fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking as porcise like yeah well are you talking about that time you had that thing on my face came yet because you did that to yourself and then or should just goes off on preacher mode now

now she's just preaching and it is hysterical she's she's wearing this big black hat on it one point she's like this is why I'm wearing a big black hat because it's a funeral honey and I'm saying right now boom boom did what yeah, look what are you even? I Know what do you say I actually liked that you Um, and then Kenya of course she's like starts comparing for sure to Matt She's like, but the only difference is that Matt has never physically harmed me like oh please don't don't like that's That's a mirror technicality. He's working his way up to that. Okay. Have you seen your windowpins lately?

Have you understood? Do you understand why there's been such a big cross breeze in your house? Okay? Yeah, no shit. And there's blood all over them. The guy punched him out with his fists. Like don't try and make it sound. But this was where the fight got really weird because Porsche is like, that's what you do. You try to get people mad on purpose, like with Matt. And then he busted out your windows or whatever. So she's using Matt being abusive against Kenya, saying that Kenya instigated it. And then Kenya's like, well, that's not the same thing.

It wasn't really at me. I mean, you're physically abusive and he's just garage abusive. And that's totally different. And then she's like, no, wait a minute. Why are we talking about men who abuse so, abuse or whatever? Well, that was a little bit later because then what happened was because they're still poking at Portia and Portia is basically like, if you really cared, you would have called me because where you're doing right now, you're trying to humiliate me, try to get a rise on me and try to do like come at you really hard at this restaurant. Yeah,

I'm a man. You're piggybacking and candy goes. I don't don't come in me with a mother fucking piggy back. I was like, oh, here candy goes because candy's always showing up in a movie these days. Well, and also candy doesn't like to be misrepresented. So Candy was like fine, but then when she's, when she's implying that Candy is just hopping onto whatever Kenya's stirring up just to make Porsche feel that Ken, Kenya's just like, listen, I was just asking you about it because that was the topic of conversation.

I just was asking, I'm not piggybacking Porsche. I can't piggybacking, you said, well, you should piggyback your ass out of here then. Yeah, she's like, you better piggyback your ass. Ah! And, uh. No, piggyback. Ha, ha, ha.

Portland is such a typical Porsche fight because she just keeps going, piggyback, piggyback. Oh, yeah. Piggyback. And she's like, ending. Candy goes, you don't check this boo. And she's like, and then you curse at me and she goes, I can curse if I want. You're the one.

Mew, Mew, Mew, Mew. And then it turned into a sound effect fight, which is my favorite Atlanta fight. So then Porsche gets up to leave and Pedro goes after her. And then Kenya starts to follow and that's what and the page is like, Kenya, I don't think you should come because you make it work. It's like, no, well, it's, you know, she has anger, you know, she's been going to anger management. So it should be fun. I just want to see, you know, I don't feel comfortable going to enter, but I, you know, the anger, she's been leading her management and she can prove it right now. She's not angry like Kenya and Porsche says, you want to get popped

out? Well, they're ain't gonna happen, Kenya And I wish it would But so she Porsche took a Porsche drives off and then that's when Shreys says that Kenya provokes people and then Kenya is like Oh, please like you know, you're so you know, you know I've heard I know for a fact that a guy has jumped on you before and so you're not want to talk and then so can you take this high Midee thing of you know look at her she's been in a beautiful relationship and she's saying blame the victim how awful You know, she's which is a really Kenya is trying to be sanctimonious about this trying to make it seem like sheree is this fight just went crazy because she said

Sheree says you provoke people Kenya and she, oh, now it's back on me. Like, you're not the one who just started it. And then took it out to the streets, you know? And then she's like, well, mass breaking windows. So obviously you provoke. And then Kenya's like, oh, really? You have formed my boyfriend who jump on you. And now it's whose fault it is for getting beat

by their boyfriend. I mean, this fight really goes crazy. And now, Saray gets mad at Kenya because Sh Shere, because Kenya is making light out of domestic abuse. So Shere is like, I mean, whether it's true or not, she's making light out of it. And that's just inappropriate. I'm like, you guys are just looking for any reason to get mad at each other. And that's, this isn't even what this is all about. Yeah, this is a truly gross one. But also hilarious because Shere is like, I'm not going to stick to your level, Kenya. And Kenya squats down and starts duck walking. And she was like, I'm not gonna seek to your level, can you? And Kenya squats down and starts duck walking and she's like, I'm on your level now.

Like cracking up. And everybody like has to stop fighting and just laugh because Kenya is so fucking ridiculous, you know. Yeah. So, Pedro's like, well, I texted Portia and asked her to come back and Candy's like, girl, how long is gonna take? I got things to do. Yeah. So she's mad and Portia comes back and she's gonna take I got things to do yeah So she's mad and Porsche comes back and she's like I got your text But I don't want to talk to Kenya and I won't even sit at a table with Kenya and so everybody else just leaves They're like by the word that wish it's already nighttime now and they've been sitting in a parking lot for five hours Yeah, I can't he's like eating french fries out of a to go box like It's already onto a new box of cereal

She's it's gotten so bad. She so bad. She's gone into the total. So Saree, Portia and Fadre go back up and Saree of course, who's also a provoker, but she does it. She pits other people against each other, you know. She's not really helping, a phager goes well now We all know that Kenya can provoke and I think that maybe it's just a lack of maturity. Sure it goes this old bitch Well, then they start to point out Kenya's hypocrisy because Kenya goes telling every single person about how Matt knocked out her windows and oh, Matt and she's scared, she's scared, she's scared.

And then the very first thing she does is, you know, accuse Shirei of being in a beautiful relationship as if Kenya were, like, you know, as if that was like a negative thing. I like, not a negative thing, but, but like it's somehow or her fault or whatever when she's been the one going around town actually, she's been abused. So, it's a weird, it's like a weird thing. It was awkward, it was like a really awkward fight. But then, you know, Porsche is just lit,

she's going crazy and this is where she's preaching. And then she confronts Fadra about, you know, why would you tell Kenya that I said I was going to talk about anger management. And then they showed the scene where Kenya is like, she's crazy. And then I won't be with her. And Fadra was telling her, well, Portia has been going to anger management. And I'm sure she's, you know, excited to have the chance to tell you all about it. You know, she was in that moment. Pedro wasn't being shady.

She was shady to smooth things over. Yeah, she's saying like, listen, like, don't worry. You know, she's actually working on it. So, you know, it's, it'll be okay. Yeah. Which was totally fine. And Porsche shouldn't be upset by that. I think it was a totally normal.

I think it was actually a moment of, of, of Pedro being a good friend. Yeah. So she's confronting Fadre and when she asked her that question, Fadre does the Fadre oh shit thing where she just takes a straw and she takes a really long sip with her fingers like kind of dangling in the air. And then just as a man a lot. Yeah, you know when Fadre's gone when she does

that straw move. So basically, Portia's like, you better watch him, you friend, because she's not your friend. Don't tell her none of your business. And she's like, mm-hmm. Well, I'll take Kenya's water before destruction, like at the Bible. And, uh, and then Portia's like, and then Candy, Curse, let me something brewing with that bitch. I'm like, oh, Porsra, I love it. She starts going off about her black hat. Okay. Yeah, I liked it. I'm into this season.

Yeah, that's just a great episode. This has been a good season. I've been enjoying it a lot. Despite all my things about what I always say, I don't feel like Atlanta is the other seasons because I don't feel like they have a lot of stuff to talk about, but I feel like it's been really, it's been good this season. I'm into it. Yeah.

It's like they're finally being okay without having a Neenie constantly fucking with everybody. Like they're finally getting confident, just being who they are. And like, candy, if this is who candy really is great, I love it. I love Grafcie Candy, who has no problem telling people off. She's always had a Grafcie side. She's not. Yeah, she's had a Grafcie side. She's pulling it out and pretty much with everybody this time. Like she's going there. Well, they're coming for her more because Fadre, you know, they've had the falling out and out. So Fadre is going after Candy and she's getting her troops to go after Candy too. And Candy's just like, don't come at me.

Yeah, well, I like it. I like the, I like this side of Candy coming out all the time. I think it's hilarious. So she seems to be more comfortable. Cynthia's just kind of more comfortable literally doing nothing. But so much better showing more of her real personality, which I mean, you get me to say something nice about Cynthia. That's huge. She raised amazing.

And they're all doing great. Horser really does seem to be be trying even though, you know, she doesn't get enough oxygen to her brain. Well, also, I feel like, you know, Porsche has been one of those people who in the past seasons, you know, she's funny and she's entertaining, but really all she offers is like, I'm a thought. And then she has like some ridiculous fake romance with someone that just feels fabricated and this, I don't know, I just feel like Porsche is going through some stuff that feels

a little bit more real. I feel like this is, I feel like this is the most interesting Porsche has been since she went through her divorce. And it's also, I think, a credit to this show that they're just trusting, even though there have been some wonky seasons, they're just trusting that the cast will eventually figure it out and they're keeping them all instead of changing it, you know, a zillion times, they're kind of letting them settle into it. And I think it's really helped the show. I love this show. I mean, this show is one of the ones that makes me LOL every time I watch it. Yeah, it definitely makes me LOL. You know, to me,

it's, you know, my favorite will still always be New York City and Beverly Hills and And then these days I mean Orange County has been just phenomenal ever since Shannon Bador came on board But I think Atlanta is doing is it's been very strong and it's been good Well, that was a long ass episode today everybody Certainly was for being with us. We have a really fun week this week for our fifth anniversary. Lots of fun guests guests. It's set to that. We will be back tomorrow with a little Vanderpute drools. And remember to go sign up for our listener spotlight thing on Patreon. Hopefully we'll come up with a more creative name for the thing, but

for right now just listener spotlight. Go do it everyone. Bye everybody. Thanks so much. Talk to tomorrow. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.