Watch What Crappens - #376 PumpRules: Roasts & Residencies; Special Guest Amy Phillips

Episode Date: January 25, 2017

Tom throws a fundRAGER, Jax gets roasted, and James has a residency. All these exciting updates and more as special guest Amy Phillips ("Reality Checked," "Watch What Happens Live!") joins Ben and Ronnie for a Vanderpump Rules recap. But first, the trio tackle one of the most pressing questions of all time: Is Ariana Mad At Us? Come listen! 00:00:00 - Intro 00:19:44 - Is Ariana Mad At Us? 00:31:04 - Vanderpump Rules recap See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. to talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap is and to follow us on social media go to watch a crap ends.com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash

watch what crap ends. Hey everyone welcome to watch for crap ends the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about Crapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about and watch and have fun with, et cetera, et cetera. I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bander Blender, which has a new episode up. That's right, there's a new episode of the Bander Blender up, shocking, but you're not here to hear about the Bander Blender.

You're here because you're a Bravo fan and you're a Vanderpump Rules fan probably and guess what we have a very special guest today But before I get this special guest, I should probably mention my co-host Ronnie Karen from trash talk TV and Rose Creek's podcast Sorry Ronnie, I almost forgot about you there. I was so excited. I'm still here Trying to push them out. Trying to push them out Trying to push them out. Trying to push them out. That's how I'm playing. That's how I've seen them all, but you queer.

Yeah, I'm still here. I tried to be the Wilma to your Fred and put you out the door and do you know inside. But also didn't Elaine stretch die, so like she's technically not still here. So I think that song needs to be not sung right now. Okay, continue on. I'll stick to my... Continue on. Our very special guest is the wonderful, the talented, the most amazing bravo impressionists that I know and probably one of the best of all time. I'll just go out

there and say it. Why not? Oh, come on. Yeah, she is the host of Reality Check, Reality Checked on Radio Andy and she can be frequently seen on what happens live. It is the one and only and beautiful Amy Phillips. Oh god guys, thank you so much, I love you so much. This happened to me. Welcome back Amy. Yes, everything bad. Last level. That was Mikey.

Oh my God, next level. I love Mikey so much. I pull his clips more than any other housewife. He has so many good ones. He's so excitable. He is. I mean, just to throw in there, eat a dick. I mean, you know, like you can't, and not top that. I just wonder what it's like watching him going to

target and browsing for things. Like, I'm not bad. He really likes, he really likes the target brands. Walmart. And that smile back upside right stupid. Walmart. I'm that smile back upside right stupid bitch. Yeah. Oh my god. I love but end cat bitches. Yeah, he is a treasure. He's a treasure. He is of 100% one of my favorites. He is. And you do, by the way, let's not overshadow them, you know, Mikey's main lady. You do a excellent Erica Jane impersonation. Oh, come on. Stop it.

No, double. Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? So good. It's like she's here with us right now. Yeah, like inhaling helium.

Yeah. There's one part that I saw in the previews for this week, where she goes, and it's just so hurt. One little word. I thought she gets thrown into the pool. And Kyle actually had one of the best lines I've ever heard her say, which is like, I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but they spent three hours to get her hair to look like that.

That was what my thought was also. Oh, really? I'm like, what sort of glam squat? What sort of glam squat is this? Well, that's why she doesn't go for unionized people. You can just make them do it again. Ooh, like a Jane. Bad girl. You look like it or a clock out.

You just clock. Got a boy. That's not a good one. Fuck. Do my hair. Good. Work for 22 hours without a break, bitches. My son has doors on it. No craft services for you. So Amy, first of all, tell everyone where they can follow you on Twitter and various other social media places. Oh, you can find me at Amy Phillips underscore.

That's not Amy, but just Amy, AMY, PHI, double L IPS underscore that's on Twitter and Instagram. It's it's meet Amy Phillips. And that's sort of what I'm going to eat. Me not like me. A T. Yeah. Me, Amy Phillips. So, so just before we started, we pressed record on this podcast, we were

starting to reminisce about the fact the last time the three of us were all together, we were at Sir and at Pump with Miss Julia Cunningham, uh, doing a proper VPR fan tour. Were we not? Yes. And in fact, we were, we were belly up at the bar. Yes. We were watching many Pump Taney's be, whatever they were sangrias being served in port. Yes, pervade. Richard. And I believe was there. I feel like I saw him. Yeah, Richard. So was there. Okay. And then there you look great, which is apparently all Richard. So knows how to say after watching.

Which is apparently all Richard soon does how to say after watching his actually so I actually know him very Sort of tangentially and he's a very lovely guy I have to say and that is sort of what his personality is like you look great. You look great like thanks, Richardson Well, mate like when he walked when she no walked into project elevated busbies and he was like you're fucking body is hot as shit Wasn't that him at that door? Yes, and then he was like, your fucking body is hot as shit. Wasn't that him at that door? Yes. And then he was like a high-shay. Yeah. Oh, my god.

He's like, hey, Shay, still trying. And good for you, buddy, your wife is hot. Hey, Lisa, you look beautiful, you hot. You're like host stand, Mikey. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's demure, Mikey. Yeah. Yeah. He's the mere Mikey.

Next level. Yeah. So we had Tom. We, we, we hobnob with Tom Sandevol. Of course. Yeah. I yelled at Tom Sandevol and got wasted with James. That was a really fun night.

I don't know if any of you will ever hang out with me again, but it was. I was but I was like, oh my God. Ronnie is saying things to Tom. And of all that he would say, like he's saying it to his face, the types of things he would say on his podcast. I'm like, well, you got to love him. You know, he's keeping it real. We were the three of us, Amy, Julian, I were like, cowering together. Like, oh my god, because Ronnie would always be

a compliment at the end, but Ronnie would tee it up with like a big neg, you know, like, you know that concept of like the neg, you take him down a peg first. So, Ronnie be like, fuck you, I just have to say, fuck you, I'm sick of you being so attractive, but like for those moments Those moments before he got the nice part Tom was like oh crazy fan and we'd be like oh my god. Oh my god Tom was great though. He didn't like it's bad and I he was like he's just totally rolling with it and he

He enjoyed he seemed to be enjoying the conversation. He was so that was so fun And that was a Tom Sandivall sans braids everybody. So I mean that's a big deal. Yeah, yeah Before the braid guy. Yeah, it was before braids and like a few layers of skin ago Because you know he shaved that skin off girl. Yeah. Oh, he shaved that forehead right before the braid guy comes over. He gave me fashion advice too, but I forgot what it was. Yes, that's right. Because we were talking about his shoes. And he said something about his belt. I feel like I can't remember. He was talking about. I may have spaced out. I think he also gave us the, um, the Tom line, which he will always give you when you see him, which is, Hey, Bill, let's take it to Insta.

Yeah, you got Insta. Let's take it to Stabril. He loves being on the Instagram girl. He loves the Insta. He does. Yeah, that was a really spectacular night. We were all just drunk and taking so many things in. I loved it.

And remember also when we were at Sir Danny, the second, Sir the day player, the Sir day player, the Vanimum Brawl day player, she was our waitress and she was very nice. Oh, yes, that's right. That's right. Yeah, we're like, how come you don't make more drama beyond the show, start a fight with some bitch in here?

And she's like, no, I really just, I love like just being a waiter. What time are you? We're trying to give her some good sage advice. You're like, the world is at your fingertips, bitch, take it. And she was like, every season starts. And I think I want to try to do something. And then I run away. I just don't know. She's like, I just have this aversion towards career limiting things. I'm just here because I really, really like the stress. They really like the stress. I just want to serve the tuna tartar to the best of my ability, okay? Hey, how do you guys heard that the balls have changed to empi-natas?

Yeah. Well, you know what? I'm so glad you mentioned that because last time that I was at sir They only had empanadas and I had just I ordered those and I was like, well, where are the balls? So now and I didn't know that they had officially changed so thank you for letting me know that I They're not as good. I don't know what they're doing over there. At least it's like, we need to change things, darling. How about instead of goat cheese bowls, we'll have goat cheese empanadas so Spanish? I think Amy, you should write a, like a novel,

a very serious, perhaps pulpy novel called, they only had Impanadas. I think it'd be you looking very tragic on the cover, perhaps in like a veil. That's how I felt because I never had the, I never had the balls. I never had them. Yeah. The balls were much better. They were very lightly dusted, perfectly fried.

What a chewy treat. Amy, I want to ask you some questions before we get into the real house walls of Melbourne, which you hate to recap. Tell us. Not Melbourne. We're not doing Melbourne, right? No, no. Okay, good. I'm like, oh, shit. We just have a tendency. We have a tendency to just drop into Australian accents randomly. Like once Melbourne started, we have never been able to shake the accent. We'll be talking and be like,

he's in there right now, he's in there. And also it makes me feel hosty. Hello, Amy Phillips. We've not been up for a long time, eh? So we've talked to you a few times on this show and we met at Leopold South. Well, at least that's where I met you. And has so much so many fun times together.

And your life has really changed. Well, I don't know if your life has, but your career has been kicking ass. So on your show and your watch what your watch what happens stuff, you have so many more impersonations and so many different bravo liberties. So tell us some good bravo Liberty stories. Who's your favorite movie?

My favorite movie? Let's see. You know what? I actually just did a video of Doreet and it's going to be on Washington's Live tonight, which is Tuesday today. But so yeah, so Doreet is, I think, one of my favorite new housewives. I am so fascinated by her. I think she is the most, I think she might be the most ridiculous housewife. There's ever been.

And I agree. You do because it's like, I hate her, but I love, I love hating her, which is, which is different because like when Kelly was around in OC, I had a really hard time going between loving and hating her. I ended up just being so annoyed by her so many times. But with Doreet, I'm like, this is so ridiculous. And I don't know how people actually, like Lisa Brinna and I lean her sitting there having a conversation with her and how they're actually taking her serious with this accent. Like I don't know how, how, no, anybody could. She's from Connecticut. And then she has the most bizarre accent.

And I know she calls it out in the tagline, which is, which is applaudable because if you don't nip that in the bud. But, um, but she's pretty ridiculous. And I love that. Her and PK is the package is just like it is, uh, it's impressive. It's impressive. Yeah, I think, I think that you, you really hit the nail on the head. I was really for the first few weeks,

I was like, I really hate to read. But then what turned me around was when I read this thing on Reddit, which I shared on the podcast a few weeks ago. But it really changed my perception of her. And I can just give you some of the highlights. Someone named Hart Deco on Reddit called to read his inept trash queen and said that he really appreciated how she just makes the worst decisions at all times and is

basically so she's always when everyone's zigging she's always sagging in the wrong way basically and and my favorite part was that he said she is a master of terrible housework they're free watching her in action is like viewing outside her art. That's so great. What a great way to articulate it. And I don't think I would want a whole cast filled with people like Doreen,

but sprinkle one in every once in a while. And it makes for a nice wild card. And I love that. I agree. It adds that it's like throwing a pe pebble into the spokes and it just sort of yeah causes a little bit like the strange disruptions and I mean boy George lives with her which is amazing which is why I'm convinced that that's probably why she has the accent because she's like if you don't talk to boy

George with an accent he can't understand what you're saying. If I say hello, boy George, how are you? He doesn't get it, but if I say hello, boy George, how are you? Then he understands. It's so odd. And I just think he loved boy George. I love that he's like fascinated by her. And it's just funny. It's so funny.

Well, I also like that she has a little east in her too, because I've noticed it with her words when she says things like Well, hello girls To me to me she always sounds like Tracey Omen and Bullets Ever Broadway, you know when her character comes like Flittering on to the stage. I'm terribly sorry I'm late. I was busy picking the dog over the flowery whatever accent that is. Right. And the fact that she has so many staff members and nannies, I mean, you got an arose gold Bentley. Yeah. Oh, that's it's hilarious. I am convinced that that car is owned by Hertz. And that they only get that

car for shooting bays. Because I just can't believe it. I mean, the way that these housewives, you know, sometimes in the future, they, they, they, we end up finding out they go bankrupt, they had money problems. And with these new ones lately, you know, you just never know. You never know time, time will tell. Yes. The capital one will tell. Yes, the capital one will tell So who has been your best interview of the year like you actually interview everyone pretty much I guess that's on these shows

And I know that sometimes it must be hard just imagining doing it when they're really not good interviews I know you have to do a lot of that Let's not focus on that who are the really easy ones to talk to and the really chill, cool people that you actually like get along with and have a good conversation with? You know who surprised me was Kyle. Kyle was like so chill. I felt like when I was talking to her,

I was talking to like one of my friends, which was weird because I didn't expect that from her. And when we got off of the microphone, she was just very like, you know, we were just talking and I asked her question, she's like, yeah, okay, so what do you want to know? And she just was really, she didn't rush to leave. I mean, she didn't have like, you know, it just seemed like she was happy to be hanging out. And I really enjoyed that. So she surprised me. That's cool. And yeah. And then Durinda is always so fun to talk to.

Like she called in a couple of days after New Year's Eve because we had her, we set it up so for her to call and to tell us what happened at Luan's wedding. Because obviously she was there. And so we wanted to hear her report from the wedding. And so she was happy to call and like in the background. You know at some point I'm like all right, turn her on. Let's go because sounds like you're doing your dishes and let you get back to home. I'm sorry. I just do all my dishes. I got to I'm leaving for London tonight. I just got in from Miami. I got to going. Time to make it nice. Like, but she, she was literally like,

all the while with like a thousand things, but she really wanted to call in and talk to it. Talk to us about it, which was really, really cool. I really love talking to Durr, to Durrinda. Lisa Rina is one of my favorites, of course, and I loved meeting her in person. It was kind of, but I was a little bit, a little bit too amped up to meet her because I was so excited. But I thought that super fun too. Yeah, we got to go out with her one night. We loved her. Yeah. She took us for drinks one night with Harry Hamlin, your friend, but you guys wanted drinks with her and Harry Hamlin. At the Polo Lounge, and Al Pacino was sitting next to us. It was was amazing it was like the most Hollywood moment of all time. This is what dreams are made up.

It was it was such a good night and you know like most people would be like staring at alpacinos table like oh my god it's alpacino but alpacino was staring at our table like what the fuck is going on over? Well the best part is that I feel like knowing that the polo lounge could really figure out our table because you have okay Lisa Rina and Harry Hamlin that makes sense and even you know Monique amongst him But then this the two of us is like what are those two guys doing with those three people? It was the biggest puzzle the night at the Polo lounge And why is that guy holding a wrap or salt?

Say it again, Amy, I'm sorry, I'm the worst. That's LA, like everywhere you go, no grouping of people ever makes sense. It's very true. It's very true. Yeah, fun, telling so should we get on to Vanderpromp rules? I don't want to keep Amy for 20 hours. I mean, I do, but it would be really tough. Well, you know, before we get into band of prime rules

I want to introduce a new segment on the show and it's a segment called is Ariana mad at us Oh my god, wait, wait, wait, did you have chon? Who did that and who had the chimes back? That was incredible. That's that I believe it was a vocalist that we hired from Hollywood music institution that Max used to go to. He used to. Oh, it was from season one of Vanderpump rules,

but the singing career who helped Sheena member. No, no faith. What was that girl's name? She was she was like, that's my mentor. Yeah, I know. Is there an enjoy or something like that? I don't remember. I'm sorry.

Laura. Laura lie. No, Laura. No, definitely not Laura. No, Laura Lee was the one who's like, you had your penis inside me with no condoms on. Oh my god. I mean, this was definitely,

that was definitely sung in the spirit of Laura Lee, for sure. Try to cap so. That's not, that intro's incredible. I can play it again. If you need to. Actually, if you don't mind, I'd love to hear it. All right, hit it. 3, 2, 1.

Sorry, I'm not mad at us. It's very, I'm not mad at us. It's like a lullaby. It really is. Something to think about before you go to sleep. I know I think about it. And the answer is she probably is mad at you The reason why I bring this up is that there was a

Strange Twitter exchange last night, and I don't understand how it left off So basically here's what happened of course now it's it's it's I have to get back to where it was. So one of our listeners, her name is... Crakrock Heavy. Crakrock Heavy. So Crakrock Heavy tweeted at Ariana. She goes, in regards to Ariana's roast that she did last night on the show. She says, did you, why is Ariana reading her jokes? She didn't take this comedy serious enough to study. And then she said, at what crap ends, hashtag pump rules. Well, guess what? Ariana saw the tweet. And so she replied to both crack rock heavy and I have to point out here

at this point in the story that he did not at her. Yes. Okay. He did not say why did not at Ariane at X whatever whatever her Twitter had to listen didn't do that she just had the hashtag search on. Yeah. So so it did she wasn't at okay. She was added exactly just why is Ariane reading her jokes. She didn't take this comedy serious enough to study at what crap ends hashtag pump rules, okay? It's also not clear how seriously

crack rock heavy is Really stating this is this a joke about the fact that Kristen Was making fun of Ariana for not being serious. So then Ariana replied to all so that meant we were looped in and she goes I wrote it an hour before and I don't take something that seriously that I'm doing for free. So. Oh, so then I mean paid for the show. That's true actually, that's a good point.

And she's also not realizing that she's adding an improviser. And Amy, you know, we don't make money for that shit. We show up every week and we word to am shows for fun. I wrote some Jack's roast jokes this morning at like 5 a.m. for the hell of it. I mean, who's gonna give me some but I better that but I bet you didn't memorize them. I bet you didn't memorize them. You got your name. You're right. You're actually, you know what? Ariana, I agree with you.

So when Ariana said, so when when Ariana said I voted an hour before and I don't take something that seriously that I'm doing for free Then I wrote as a joke I put like in brackets mic drop because I thought that like you know I mean I was just like boop doing the mic drop, okay? And then you're like supporting Ariana away. I was kind of kind of supporting her I'm sort of being like adding some levity to a situation that I didn't really care that much about and so then new LA responded to us both and said Did you write this response an hour before as well and then did this thing like like he was ducking? And then goes cheers God, so Ariana Ariana responds, but here's what's interesting her response is not to that her responses to the mic drop tweet and says

Guess I missed the part where being rude was the point of this exchange Glad you had fun. So I'm like was that directed at us? I think it was my drop She changed she changed the order of the ads because it wasn't to act crack rock heavy. It was to act what crap ends this time, which was weird. Is that because she was replying to that tweet? I don't know.

I don't know if that was the way it was. I'm like an old person, but yeah. Yeah, I don't know if it was. She got all mad and I sent Ben to text and I was like, are you in trouble with the area? I don't know, I'm like, I'm in a hurry. I haven't seen it laid out on the Twitter, but it's very, sometimes it gets so confusing

to who you're what tweet you're responding to. I would think that she's responding to the guy who the second guy who called her out and isn't mad at you guys because you're mic drop. There's nothing to be mad at for my unless she thinks that my our mic drop was and was in support of the other guy well no no because you responded after she did though yes but as we can see the order of response almost doesn't matter because there's a lot of

confusion going on right now there is there's some confusion but hopefully she but i think that um... she didn't respond until, oh, I see what you're saying. Okay. Okay. I got. By the way, there was a follow up from crack rock heavy later on who said, eh, I was joking. I thought you could tell I wasn't serious because I wrote the comment 28 minutes ago. Eh, which I don't think gets us out of Ariana, Jail, but. which I don't think gets us out of Ariana, Jail, but. I mean, it's just so funny. I mean, out of all the things we do that could anger people

on Bravo, that that was it. Like the smallest little crack in the ice. I know, and it's amazing. I mean, that's the thing too, is that like, Bravo liberties are all over Twitter now, and they call you out, and they are not afraid to like, just be spendingbrides are all over Twitter now and they call you out and they are not afraid to like just be spending the evening slamming people down. But the thing about crack, crack, heavy that I like is that if that's the name I can't

remember, but I like that they didn't at Ariana because, you know, I don't like when people are insulting the cast members and they tag them in it. It's like, why bring that to their attention? If you're just going to, if you're doing it for, you know, you have every right to say what your opinion is, but if you really are saying something mean or that they might take the wrong way, don't tag them. So I always appreciate a non tag. And I hate it when sometimes if there's like a Twitter going on and someone will include me in their tweet and they'll be like, even Amy Phillips at Amy Phillips things. You're wrong at stage or parks, as choir.

I'm like, no, I don't get me in trouble. You know, like I like to have the free speech and on the radio show and on Twitter and stuff like that. But if I want to say something about a housewife or a braver lover, I don't necessarily want them to see it, you know, all the time. Because you take it the wrong way and we're just having fun. Yeah, exactly. And by the way, for the record, Tom Sandeval liked Ariana's format. Well, that was the best part of it because we were like, is she mad? And of course, like we're not going to sit and care, but it was funny. And then like an hour later, it's like, bloop, Tom Sandoval,

Lex, Arianna, Maddox is like, oh, great. Max Thompson on it. No, Jesus. They're not going to remember tomorrow because they probably went and did a million tweet responses to people. Like, they probably do that every Monday night. They have to, you know, they're just defending themselves. They don't want to be raked over the coals

and it's just like it's part of their job at this point and it's just that, you know, Jack's the same way. He loves it. He like loves blocking people and I get the biggest kick out of watching Jack's black people because he's just like, he become a people, I'm happy to block. You're hilarious.

That's the good energy he's here, a superhero or guy, whatever. And then just because it's Twitter, everybody else has to get on in on it. Like, it's like, oh, someone else lacked area on his tell off for whatever. And then other people are like fighting against her. I mean, it's the dumbest thing ever. Like someone wrote, and Doute was freestyle. Thank you for saying it, crying laughing. Like, I just love that now people are torturing, torturing Ariana over some dumb thing And Doute was freestyle. Thank you for saying it, crying laughing.

Like I just love that now people are torturing Ariana over some dumb thing that doesn't even mean anything. But basically a joke that didn't land properly has now caused an issue. So I guess the answer to our question is Arianna mad at us. I guess the answer is inconclusive, correct? Yeah, I don't know if you'll ever know.

We'll never know. You guys have the ending of a Netflix. So it's up for you to decide. Or just like gossip girl, that's one secret I'll never tell. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like the OA. You're like, why are people doing all this weird performance art?

And then it's over. You're like, wait a minute. What? What's this all a lie? So this concludes, is Ariana Maddda's? Ariana Maddda's, is Ariana Maddda's, is Ariana Maddda's? Yeah. You're ridiculous.

I'm gonna love it. All right. All right, so what should we do next, y'all? Vanity of a group. Let's tweet Ariana right now and see if she'll get mad at us. The segment has to live on, you know. I mean, it has to. Now. Well, we should just tweet. Are you mad at us? I mean, while we're doing while we're doing. At Amy Phillips. Amy Phillips says that you're mad at us Phillips says that you're mad at us. I don't want to be involved.

I don't want to be involved. I don't want to be involved. By the way, that little diddy is going to get in your head. Oh, he's already there, and I like it. I'm liking it. OK, I tweeted there. I said, at Ari on a 2525, are you mad at us oh my god oh my god the power of modern communication oh my god you really did do this now what should we tweet Julia Roberts

and what got me out there Julia Roberts mad at us so I guess the I guess the segment could just change from whatever celebrity awkward you know exchange you have you know it's just whoever that person is are they mad at us this week. It's sort of like our low confidence paths of aggressive psychno the week. Are you mad at me? Are you mad at me? Yes. So stupid. All right guys, let's show me. Let's start talking about a little BPR. Yeah, I mean speaking of our people, Matt, people, this show opens up with Lisa Vanderpump

bossing Jacks around about bottles. It's like obligatory. Lisa Vanderpump is in control, is in charge. He's a good boss sort of situation. Yeah. Right. Please dust around the bottle's jack, not just the edge of the counter. Do you under the bow jacks? Straws in the cup jacks. Straws in the, oh dear.

Looks like a mess back there. And then Britt comes in. Brittney comes in. She's like, I need to have an order for three Mahitas, please. Which I think I still think that Brittney probably believes that Mahitos are just to retos for people in Missouri. I wouldn't doubt it, yes, you're probably right. I like how she says it. She's like, I'm 18 Mahitos.

Okay, if you still not know how to say that word, like. I know, it's angry is. I just find out what a shark cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter.

Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cuter. Shirk cutery. So where you say, make a bunch of cold cuts and put them up your cuter. And you make them look like little sharks. Jack, I want you to give me more respect to my cutery. I

have to say, Brittany is so good for jacks. I. I like them together. I don't want them to break up. It seems like that's going to happen at some point in the future. But for right now, I'm really enjoying it. Do I have to? I feel like when you say she's good for him, questionable. I think she's like a bandaid for a per, like for a cutter.

It's like the bandaid's not really helping because they just keep cutting themselves and the bandaid's just hide what they're doing to themselves. I'm not sure. I guess like it's an in-a-bular bandaid cutter situation to me. I don't know. Do you think they are cute enough to carry their own show

because it's been reported? I think yesterday that Brittany and Jacks are getting their own spin-off where Jacks goes to Kentucky. I heard. I think it's going to be, I mean, if it's more than like four episodes, it'll probably be too much. But if it's like three apps, I think that can be, I think that'll work.

I don't think it'll be interesting for a little while. It was actually reported a long time ago by Blabbermouth Mom, Brittany mom, who's like, God, I can't hold it any more. We have a show in Kentucky. I know. Ah. This is why people need NDAs, you guys.

OK. My loves boyfriend is on the right track. This is what I can talk to mom. Yeah, exactly. I is what it's like. Kentucky mom. Yeah, exactly. Kentucky. So anyway, Sheena walks over to Lisa Vanderbump who's sitting at a table. And I love it because Lisa's like, I know she knows she's like, Oh, no.

In her classic, she know, trophy thing. And I actually, I actually recorded her voice, but I'm seeing that it has not transferred over to my computer So I can't play her the way she said hello you but it was no Yeah Hello Good

How are things in Shina Shaila? Well, things are really good like she's like my I'm Shina Shaila and the girls time segue. She's segways as well as I do. Real real smooth. She's the smoothest of all. She's she's if anyone's known for smooth smooth moves, it's she I don't know. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I don't know. I don't know. Wait that again. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. The lelting, the nasal lelts is just so, so classically she know. And it's maybe gotten better or worse since she's had a penalty. A nose job, which, you know, you think that I would have noticed that I didn't even know. Oh, she now, you know, I was, I was watching season one a little bit recently because, um, like I have no life, but I was watching season one recently. And wow, you really, it's like watching an evolution chart watching how much everybody changes. Yeah, really is. Yeah, it's like that cave man. That's funny. Oh, news update. Do do do do do out of her day, out of her busy day,

breeds to tweet you guys back. That was by the way a very fast response time. Wow, I'm so glad we closed that case. I am too, because I gotta tell you, I don't know if you guys spend any time with her outside of like watching the show, but she is like the nicest person.

It's like the nicest person. Which is interesting because on the show, I would never, sometimes you have these drastic changes between people's personalities on the show and off the show. And then you have sometimes where it's like they're the exact same person on the show as they are when you meet them. And I would not say that's the how Ariana is, or at least the way she's portrayed. It almost seems like it's a character of Ariana

on the show, and then who she is, it's different, it's weird. But that's, I think that's the street from Suridhli goat, which on Fander Prumple rules this noon is the goat. And so I go there sometimes. And so I've seen them there. And they are so, so nice. She's particularly glowy and nice.

And their group of friends is really nice. Like everybody they hang out with is really fun. Nice. That's such nice things that we have to say. Yeah, that's it. Who always? Yeah. You can be one nice tweet and I'm like yours forever.

Well, you know, the thing is that she's probably had to develop a really hard shell to deal with these other women, you know. And so, and I don't blame her for constantly rolling her eyes and just being perpetually annoyed by the people she's doing. Well, wouldn't you let's how I would be on a show like that. I sometimes I think who would I be on these shows and allow the times I end up at the Ariana place because I'm like, I don't know how I would handle it. I would be like, are you fucking kidding me? You guys are crazy.

I love the fact also that Ariana is like head and shoulders the hottest one on the cast. And it's just there's like so much like latent jealousy going on there that I think it really adds a great level of complexity to the show. I'm loving how Stasi and Ariana are like don't get along. I loving that like tug and pull. Yeah, Stasi came back and expected to still be Stasi and everyone's like, no, you don't even work here. Like you don't think go here. So she's really trying to maintain that power and no one is having it Yeah, I'm just like fuck off Katie's having it and Kristen's having it and

I'm happy with that I love when those three are together and they become a three-headed Hydra That's that's how we love this show the most so Speaking of which sheena, you know the the fourth wannabe head on the Hydra, but not. She is now talking to Lisa Vanderpom, and she's telling Lisa that she has been getting these angry texts from Kristen late at night because they have been squabbling about the price of Katie's bridal shower. And essentially, Shina was left out of the planning and they went and they made this whole expensive plan and now just expect to split three ways and she's not down with that.

Yeah, which is $1,500, $1,500, three ways, is like, what, $500, $600? That's a lot of money. And not even that dimension like paying for the taco stand that they had there, the taco tree tower. That's clearly where most of the funds went to. The Taco Bell tower. Oh, but I have an update on that actually.

Oh, Rachel, Rachel O'Brien, who is on the show, but as she considers herself a background player because she's not like she doesn't get involved in any the drama. She's like that. Waitress said she's like Danny, you know, where they thought that she doesn't want to be involved. She's a stand-up comedian. You probably know who I'm talking about. Rachel.

She's one of the five of the seven who's the project. Yes. Yeah. Actually, she started this whole fight. Actually, that we were talking about with Ariana because Ariana said, I don't find her. I take comedy really serious and I just don't find her comedy funny. That's right. That's right. Yes. Full circle. Okay,

it shows over by. So what Rachel say. So she was on my show today and she said that it ended up where all the bridesmaids chipped in for to rent that apart that house. So they didn't it wasn't ended up not being split three ways. Yeah, that's how she know what to be. Yeah, she won that one. Well, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, she's like, yeah, I'm trying to make me pay. Am I not in a great line?

I think it's a blind and me, man. Like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like shift is starting soon. It's like, I got it. Bye. You're so tacky. I have to say I've heard a, bring that up. And then in front of Sheena, oh my god, I was cringing. Yeah. That was. They're trying to save you money.

They have it in Eagle Rock. I mean, how much more? Yeah. Seriously. We haven't done this to that. These are my shoes off our phrase. Wow. So then we go to Tom and Ariana's apartment where Tom is hanging upside down from his like

pull up bar batmaning as he says. And we find out that his birthday is coming up and it's going to be a buzzbees on Wilshire, uh, no comment and that, uh, it's going to be a fun rager because he's going to be teaming up with Richardson to raise money for 80. Bra. I got nothing else to do. I might out say. So this is when we find out that, uh, she does not,

Ariana doesn't even braid his hair. He has people come in and braid his hair for him, and she braids her own hair. Yeah. She said she has a braid person too. They each have a braid person. I think they could save so much money if they learned how to braid each other's hair.

And I'm thinking myself, is it really that difficult? I know, I'm like watching YouTube video for crying out loud. I was like, it was so amazing to have a braid guy come in. That was, that was so classic. And he put a beret in Tom's hair, which made him like even more like clear, devolving usual. Tom's like, yeah, I play a Haiti. Like last time I saw a video of Haiti, no one had braids.

It was like the saddest thing I ever saw. So we're raising braid money. And my fundraiser for Haiti. Brade money, $8,600 in braid money. It's a lot of braids, guys. A lot of braids for the kids. All right. Who's the kid who loves their face shape first?

Come on out. What did you think about when China just like busted into buzzbies, runs up to James and it's like, oh, you guys are still together? Oh, I'm surprised. And then it's like this whole thing. Considering. Yeah, I was like, oh my God, she's got some balls.

I thought I was pretty impressed by that actually. She's such an asshole. She's just doing that because the other girls make her. I mean, Shina is such a soldier and she'll do whatever they want. She's trying to impress these girls, but these girls are horrible human beings. She would be so much better if she just would be friends with someone who's nicer because then she'd try and imitate them and impress them.

Like, Gaffla, like, I did something really nice for somebody to pay. To impress you. Hope you're happy. Well, I love how Sheino when she did that, you know, she was trying so hard to be stossy at that moment. And she's like, Oh, you don't know. Ali, you know, remember Ali? No? No. And James is like rolling his eyes. I told to everything. Okay, I told everything. And she's like, I just loved how she was trying so hard. She was trying so hard.

She's like, yeah, I'm like, I'm flying. Jessica, I'm flying. And she took a selfie and has bad. And the girlfriend, the dumb girlfriend, whatever her name is, is like, well, James said, who was, yeah, it's because she's a DJ groupie. And then the girlfriend is like, yeah, like who takes selfies in a bed? I know. I was like, Oh, jeez.

Well, you know, you got to look out for all those groupies of DJs that perform at mid range lounges and restaurants. They have the most rabid fans out there. I'll tell you, seeking man who understands how to make an iTunes playlist. Well, I love James's rebuff of Sheena Ultraman. Like, excuse me, I have to go do my residency. I know. It makes it sound so, I mean, it's like you said you're not going

like to do a shift at an internship shift at Cedar Sinai right now to be a doctor. I'm like, I'm sorry. Are you receiving a Kennedy Center award next year? I'm familiar. You're just performing up the red barrier. Okay. Congratulations. Right. So they ended up doing Tom's fundraiser, which was nice. They raised so many for Haiti. And basically the girls, the little witch's cousin was getting all upset. She was like, yeah, you won't believe I'm like,

I just want to have a giant fly, but I was like, wow, man, I'm in a car. And that girl's gross, because she didn't even care. And Chris, it goes, she's fucking disgusting. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh, my god.

She just freaked out. She, I was like like such an overreaction. It was so extreme. She flipped her lid. That was amazing. Oh my goodness. So then of course, Sheena is starts talking about the bridal party once again. And I love when she's like, I just seem like, you know, like I wasn't going to any decision. Kristen's like, well, you know, it's for a best friend.

And as they're like talking about this, they're both playing with their hair so aggressively. Like all their rage is going into the ends of their hair. I know I wrote down Bunwar because Sheena's like, oh, la la la. And she started like wrapping her hair and putting it in the bun. And then Christian was like, yeah, oh, and she started wrapping her hair, but then it wasn't long enough to put the bun. So she was just like, oh, she's gonna wrap it in the way.

And then Ariana comes over and she starts braiding her hair. And I'm like, oh, it's almost a braid, almost, oh, it's a bun. It's like, it's causing another earthquake in Haiti. I'll just, all this hair. What's a bun? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and says she just stops right there. And then she and Shina have the strangest looks on their faces. And God bless Katie, she doesn't even realize what's going on. In the most obvious, you just interrupted people talking about you moment.

Right, right. Two people trying to like, haggle over your horse. Yeah. And Kristen even says, in front of Katie, to Shina, don't make that face. And then Shina just just makes the face more and Katie still doesn't realize what's going on I know it's like no your audience. No your crowd like catch a vibe man Speaking of Katie by the way, we should rewind a moment because there was a significant scene with Katie earlier She and Tom Schwartz went to a paint shop to look at paint

samples because even the producers know that watching paint dry is more exciting than just watching tea at Tom's. Like hmm, let's, we can either do watch paint dry or Katie and Tom, so why don't we just put them all together? Hey, will you Katie right now and ask if she's mad at you? At Taco Bell Yeah, we know that Katie atills, Katie or whatever they be like, yeah, at Taco Bell, what you want girl? I feel like Katie's response to, are you mad at us?

Would be like, you should know. I'm like, ah, damn it. You're so right. Everyone's with three response would be so different. The hers that we definitely feel like you should know. Ariana's straight up like, no. Well, Christians would be like, yes, you're broken, just go out and steal.

James would be like, I'm sorry, I can't talk about this, I'm going to my residency. Jack's would be like, you're blocked. He's like, I don't care whether I'm mad at you and not your block. All right, sorry, go on, here you go. I feel like if we, honestly, if we did, uh, text, uh, Tweet Katie and ask her if she was mad at us,

she would just tell us that we haven't helped her at all today. We were supposed to. You should have been for her there, been for her more than there. I love the fights that she has with Tom. I think they're so funny. She's like, dabble like that fight last night, right? And he's like, blah, blah, you're just so mean to me. Like, you get to Cuba, Katie, and you get shift days.

And she's like, I wasn't even drunk. Like, I was hardly even drinking at that whole bridal challenge. They saw a montage of Katie just hunched over drinking like a different color drinks all day. They're like, we color coded these drinks. That's how you can sell them to actually drink. Those Rose bottles are meant for the guests like to go, why are you drinking all of them? I feel like when they do a flashback montage of Katie, when they do the flashbacks,

it's always that like blue filter. She has never looked more like the little girl from the ring I was actually terrified. I was like oh my god to kill a Katie's gonna crawl out of my TV and kill me on the spot I okay, so I I think I'm I'm coming to the conclusion that Schwartz is just as bad as Katie is and we just haven't seen it. And now we're maybe seeing a little bit because he's like, you're such a bitch. And I'm like, oh my god. And when I had a stossi, I interviewed stossi and I was like, you got to tell Katie that

you can't, she can't talk to him that way. Their relationship will never last. You can't like abuse someone like that verbally and like think that it's going to like bounce off. And she's like, he's just as bad. I'm like, are you serious? She's like, yep. And she's like, he really is. You just don't see it. And I was like, well, why aren't we seeing it? Like, we need to see that part of the story. Well, we got, you know, we used to see it. I mean, there was like a run there where at least once a season he'd pour a drink on her head, you know, those are the good old days. But now he's like, well, I guess I should do that off camera.

Buh-buh. Yeah. In this case, they had a fight because after the bridal shower, she came home and she had a bunch of boxes and she wanted help bringing the boxes up the department and he wanted to go out to the bar and it turned into a huge fight. So, she texted him and said, you don't get it.

So, don't worry. Fuck it. I'm over today anyway. Thank you for helping me 0% today. And then his response was, what the hell are you talking about? Your shit face. Get a grip woman. To kill a Katie. I did nothing wrong at all. You're hammered. They're basically like that, um, that skit on SNL. The two Boston people. The big rich old. No, the rich old Rage and Jimmy found you are, you are. You are. Yeah, so they had this huge fight and say, he's like, you're such a bitch,

bitch. And so she went out and like drove off. But then he comes outside and he's like, uh, where's Bella? And she came back around the block. Who's I love? She's like, you know, she did that like three times waiting for him to figure out that she left. And then he drives her on the block. And she's like, um, yeah, if you want to call me a bitch,

then get it, get an Uber. Okay. Bye. It's like, oh, nice. I didn't know it was dating. It costed him grabbing onto a sign post dramatically as if he's been left. He was huffing it. left. He was hugging it.

Left. He was hugging the Titanic as it goes down. He's like, why the Kathy Bates get a ride home, but I'm stuck here to drown. Where's that necklace? So, okay, so the next fundraiser, the next big, oh, what else happened? Oh, yeah, so the fundraiser, she up to area on that thing. I really need to Like I mean a girlfriend like say I'm like I don't say it was like three in the morning and broke them all the mouth like where are you? It's like God damn it. I'm saying I record things to this city. I think I

Can't even tell the other girls cuz they're like, oh, why don't we talk about Katie some more? And I ran us's like, yeah. Just speed recap. Yeah. And then she was like, wow, this is a great talk. It's like we're best friends again. I'm like, I didn't even say anything. She's like, I've only lost my voice.

I'm like, no, you're still talking actually. You literally have your voice. Yeah. And it seems like, and China made it a real point when she was talking to Katie at the restaurant to not only point out that they had this fight about how much money they spent on her wedding shower, but then, oh, and by the way, you know, Ariana and I had a real heart to heart and we're like closer than we've ever been. Yeah.

Yeah. And I questioned the wine. Yeah. I questioned those wines. And that's wine. And Katie goes, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, later. I will be. We should make a way text war with the other girls. Yeah. So we should mention by the way that Jackson's card was the client when he tried to make a charitable donation, which I thought was great. I knew that was going to happen because they showed a close up of the phone and it said $500. I'm like Jacks. Unless he can snort Haiti,

there is no way that he is striping somebody $500 right now. There is no way. Yeah. striping somebody $500 straight now. There is no way. Yeah, absolutely not. But you know what though maybe Jack's would have had more money in his bank account. If he read a little bit more about how to save money maybe he could have read in a magazine like Forbes or maybe he could have used something like texture. A texture! That's right, Amy's like what part was this? Yeah, Amy, we're doing an ad.

We're doing an ad for texture, one of our old sponsors. I remember when she told off texture. I feel like I'm wearing a voice again with texture. I call a texture three in the morning. I was like, what are you? And texture was like, I'm here on your phone. I was like, wow. Yeah, like this on the air, like I call say it. And I'm like, everyone's traveling say it doesn't mean

you don't have to call SEMA, you know? No, like, there's no way you're going to cram all the magazines you want to read and you're carrying on bags there. Come here! Now you can have a texture. Let me know if that gives you a limited access to 200 plus magazines. Mama, mama, mama, mama. You keep going because I lost where you were. I'm like, I'm a fan of my favorite mangles or cat fans and you printed cams.

The Walmart, the Walmart, Walgreens picture editorial. Thanks to texture we've gotten more into magazines than ever. All in one place with the texture app and actually. I'm reading some bone-up tea on the texture and I have to say.

When we first started doing these things, I was like, I'm reading some Bon Appetit on the texture. And I have to say, when we first started doing these texture ads, I was like, but there's websites. You could just go to the websites and read the magazines. Why would I do that? No, because the websites are sucky and pop up ads keep coming. And then it keeps reloading your pages and you try and read one damn recipe.

Nothing works right. Okay, you need the magazine in your iPad. Yeah. Yeah. So the texture app has gone beyond delivering just the magazine itself. They've made it easy to find and enjoy the articles you want to read with daily recommendations, exclusive interactive features, videos, and more. Texture makes magazines easy and there are so many great ones out there, like the ones that Ron and just mentioned the other four like Forbes and Vanity Fair and Vogue. So those are all really good to

read. Yeah. And textures normally $9.90 a month. And you get over 200 magazines. But if you sign up right now at texture.com slash crap and you get a 14 day free trial. Yeah. Why subscribe to just a couple of magazines when you're gonna have all of your favorites on your smartphone or tablet all the time for like way less than a taco tray at KD's, right on top.

Yeah, right now, textures offering all of our listeners a 14 day free trial when you got a texture.com slash crabbons. Yeah, that's 14 days to try a texture for free when you go to texture.com slash crap ends. Action mark on flash grab on. Amy did you enjoy our Sheena read of the texture ad? I did, I very much did. So it came to you now.

Like every now and then, it would be Sheena would come reading and then every now and then just be like normal reading. We are really by for not sending all that to A.D Amy to read like, duh, we have Amy Phillips here. That's true. It was so much so much more entertaining to hear you guys do it. Trust me. I don't think I could have made it that it's your thing as a guy. Well, we could have just, we could have played Spin the Housewife with you and just like

told you, okay, now you're Durinda. Okay, now you're talking about your Bethany. Dance, dance, dance. It's a date for next time. Yeah. Okay, now you're Bethany. Dance dance dance. Yeah, it's a date for next time. Yeah. Okay. So getting through this show, that was kind of the big thing at Tom's birthday, but it's also Jackson's birthday.

And so they've decided that for his birthday, they're going to do a roast. And um, Kristen is going to be the MC of the host. She's gonna be the muck because you know what? Kristen also takes her comedy seriously. And ugh. She's gonna kill the game. I think I would have actually been really amused if that was her roast.

She just got there when. Ugh. Thanks everyone. Just walks off. By the way, we should mention that there is a huge mystery lingering over this episode. And I believe the mystery is called, where's Loller? Oh God. And Lisa got to do her favorite thing, which is, I've done so much for that girl.

It's like Lisa says that at least three times in every season of everything. For every one, yeah. For every one, yeah. And that postboy's narrow video. There's probably one minute where you just need her mopping. You know, I must have done for you. I've done so much for ABC. So much. And what do they do? They just put me in the video for five seconds and that's fine, but I've done so much for this band. I gave Lala a job when she needed it. I supported her. I invested in her. I'm like, she was my hostess making 10 damn dollars now. She also did. She also did. She made money because her mom was paying for everything.

Her boyfriend's were paying for everything. She wasn't, she didn't need anything. And self-professed that, like, when she was shooting the show at pump rules, or shooting the show at Sir, she would have another hostess come in to, like, sub for her, because she couldn't do both things, be, like, shoot and do her hostess job.

I'm here to help those scenes of her. job. I knew all those scenes of her answering the phone were fake. Because every scene starts with her on the phone. She's like, okay, like five. Okay. We'll have a lovely day. We'll see you tonight. come over here. Yeah. That's for you. I did. I did. So, yeah, Lala's gone missing and at this point, she's just stopped showing up for work. She's not calling anybody back telling anyone where she is. So, she's either trapped by this fat Hollywood cross-eyed guy who's making everybody sign NDAs or she's just like on meth somewhere in Saudi Arabia and some

boat getting peed on. I'm not really sure, but I'm sure it's between those two. If you if you've lived in LA for as long as these girls have and you've never been on a private jet, that's just what you do in LA. I'm sure you've been unlike 10 private jets. I mean, it's LL and you're a girl. Of course, that's what you do. You go on like really skeezy sketchy guys jets, no matter what. You put your life in danger. That's L.A. That's just how it goes. Why do you date rapes? I mean, if that's L.A. life, if you don't like it, Steve. Yeah, some people have grab bags, but in L, you just like you have grabbed drinks, you know,

you grab your drink and you just wait to see what someone put in there for you, you know, like it takes like half an hour to know what people have given you. It's a gift. It's LA. So speaking about very LA things and a gift that keeps on giving, we now go to James at his residency. He is over at the Red Berry. It's like 7pm in night. There's like no one there. And he has like, he's standing

at his DJ equipment and Raquel is sort of hovering over. And he's like, oh, I love this is what you do. You just have to turn it on. And she goes, wow, that's way too complicated for me. I know. Oh my god. This is disgusting. I can't even watch. Then James is again, like, congratulating himself in the interview and talking about how he's the one busboy in all of Sir, who has prevailed.

I'm like, prevailed from what? And you know, and he's like, I am the ultimate infiltration is that I would, because I just made it one. I'm like yeah actually it's a word. Good job. I'm a superstar. Can I just make up that word to superstar because that's what I am. Onclaim music and an elevator is that a word because it's the thing that elevates people. Made it up. Made it up. You know, it would be great a staircase that moves like an elevator, but it's a staircase instead of you called an escalator.

Okay, it's another James Kennedy miracle. Came up with a word. So dumb. So yeah, he's playing his big thing and he tells Max he comes over. He's like, did you get Strom's party? I couldn't go because I had a residency. He's like, you get Storm's party I couldn't get out of the residency he's like I didn't even know there was one poor Max I was like I was that genuinely pissed

for him I was like what why did you tell Max well Lisa's probably like well any money that he gives to Haiti is money that I'll be giving to Haiti anyway I mean some eyes will just go instead right she still is invite than I'll be giving to Haiti anyway. I mean, some us will just go instead. Right. She still is invite. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on. Someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident,

not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. What if Max came from Haiti? I don't want him finding his mother. What if she's awful? The last thing I want Max to do is choose between a fundraiser and James' residency. What if Max finds out I've found him in an earthquake and stolen him from 80 darling his $500 hush money for 80 Take it like left take it So he tells the scene a story whatever whatever let's go to Jackson's thing because that shit was hilarious So Brits mom is still in town and this because that shit was hilarious. So Brits mom is still in town. And this, you know, I don't feel as bad after this episode

of saying that she looks like a paid less shoe leather left out in the rain for too long because she earned it in this episode. But they're getting ready and jacks is like, well, you know, like I've done some stuff in my past, but I just wanna prepare it before the roast. And Brits means like, well, my mom is in pain. She's only here for a week. I don't want her to be home alone.

So I'm going to bring her to the roast. Everybody loves the roast. Like thinking it's going to be a barbecue. God bless this dumb ass of Brittany. I know. So they got a dinner first with Jackson's mom. And he starts, she's like, this tan is so different from Kentucky. It's like, yeah, that's also that's a state. But like, I just when I'm at home, I go to work, I feed the horses and I go to sleep. So Jackson Jack's just basically starts confessing things

because he doesn't know what's gonna happen at this risk. Trying to get ahead of the story, if you will. Yeah, so he just starts confessing like random things. Well, you know, I've been in trouble with the law. I mean, all of the silly things, you know, sunglasses and, you know, stuff like that. One time I took a top off a chapstick. What was the chapstick story? What's the whole like that?

Oh my god, that was fascinating. Okay, you know when you take the tests and it's a scantron? Yeah. Do you know what a scantron? Okay, so it's like a... Okay. No, I don't. Tell me.

Oh, okay, it's like a... Ben, you'll probably be able to articulate better. As the resident scantron expert, let me take over. Uh-uh! Um, it's, you know, when you have a test and it's multiple choice and so you have like a long strip, it sort of looks like a voting ballot. Um, and you, you, you pencil in, you fill in the little circle with a pencil which is oddly very satisfying to do. And then at the end of the test, you hand in your thing with all the dots you've colored in.

And it's sexual. Oh, yes, that's why Jack's probably like putting some chapstick on it. And you run the slip through a machine and based on where you colored in the dots, it's like with the SATs also, wherever you colored in the dots, it can scan and see which dots are correct

and which ones are incorrect. And so Jack's was... And it will mark which ones are incorrect on the side of each one if you get it incorrect. Yes. Oh. So, Jack's was like, if you put chapstick on the side of the scan tron, it won't be able to mark it. And he's like, so I got 100% on every chest, which probably has the only...

Like, the future would be be like something's going on with Jack's like they figured it out a long time ago. I got away with that. I will never know. They're like, wow, you guys, this is crazy. The guy who masturbates in class all day actually got hundreds on all of his tests this season. Crazy, right?

He's a genius. Now, where are my sunglasses? He said he has anybody seen my chapstick? right? Now where are my sunglasses? He said he has anybody seen my chopstick? Leaving that purse out anymore. Crazy. He, Jack said he used to make like, he would fabricate report cards in high school. He cheated on his ACTs.

He cheated on his scantron. I'm like, these are, these, he's sort of laughing it off like, ah, funny, juvenile, you know, pranks almost. I'm like, this is serious. This is, this is not light stuff. This is like terrible stuff that you did. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's like, I mean, that's like, I thought, yeah, I know.

I think he thought that since it was high school, it doesn't matter. But I mean, they were all pretty bad. He's like, well, you know, what if he asked her? He said something like, well, you know, I've been to jail or are you going to be okay with that? I'm like, she's from Kentucky. Like Brittney is her part.

I'm sure she's familiar with men who spend a lot of time in jail. Lee's like, it happens to all of us. I mean, I've rolled snake eyes through Tom's and row, also I wound up in jail. He's like, no, no, in real life, not monopoly. Oh. All this time, I thought you own Park Place. Mama, good news. Jackson's bought me a boardwalk.

Fucking. He's a railroad magnet. He has three different ones, and I believe him, because he does have a lot of B.O. Do you guys like uh britney's mom sherry's lipstick? What is that? It's so weird to purposely look like you've turned everything but your lips. It's like she's wearing sun sunblock on her lips. What is that? Amy last week I described her as a photo negative of Caroline Ray So she's like

Everything that's light on Caroline Ray is dark on Britney's mom, but they're basically the same person Yeah, that's it's like she um she she kissed one of those special pens that you can write gold with on posters for like a homecoming rally Wish you yeah, like they you turn on a black light and her lips will glow It's like her secret fascination with making out with clowns while no one's looking like where's mama It's actually just picked out on a box of gold leaf I like my SNF fancy. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it's real hard, but I wanted to do something about cars because you know, Jack's love cars. What do Brittany think this is exactly?

I have a lot of things. It's like a big roast. You put a pick up and you you spinning around, right? Yeah, you just roasted you to raise that pig, but I just tell them every day honey. I love your muffin Okay, now you can sit in the front seat like what what does she think she's going to Yeah, so then the big thing is getting help with her car jokes the big thing is that while they're there Preparing for this roast Brittany gets a text from China Britney gets a text from Sheena because she's learning that Tom is planning to bring up the rumor that Britney and

Kristen went down on each other ones at the rose and now Britney is furious and embarrassed by this. I Think it says a lot about this show that I didn't even remember that Like that's how much happens on this show that seems like it was five years ago. Personally, I was more interested in the prep session going on over at Sheena's apartment, where Tom went over there to go over the material with Sheena and Shay. And the first thing they do is they just start making fun of Katie. And Tom started talking about how he's just going like, yeah, Katie's really mean when she's drunk. And then she goes, vicious. And he's like, yeah, it's vicious.

She's like, yeah, vicious. And she just goes, yeah. Just like, real on. I don't need to say in our lives. And then that was so awkward when, when, when, um, Bertine was like, well, I can't say that you went down on me to my mom, Kristen. So will you tell my mom for me that you went down on me?

She's like, Kristen's like, yeah, um, well, basically, um, I went down on your daughter. I don't like that at all. No. Well, you're saying you started to feel sad around my daughter. Is that why you need to start to feel down around my daughter's that way you need started to feel down Well, no, I don't understand why people are man. I mean if you got down together you had a good old bookie time, right? You're taking

Okay, I ate her out well she loves going after dinner. I mean just the other night she poured some A1 on a steak. Mom, you're not listening. I ate her pussy. Oh my goodness. She ate her ass. That's not when. That's why I didn't want to tell you. What I'm trying to say is I became a carp and a buncher. Oh my goodness. How does that those were mods? You will lay people in your diets So, uh, it's really worse for you than carpets. I mean come on y'all crazy Yeah, by the way, by the way a storm is brewing over with Kristen, Katie, and Stasi. Because as we mentioned before, Shina could not help herself, but tell Katie that there were issues with paying for Katie's bridal shower. So then Katie went and told Stasi this when they were shopping for weed. And by the way, hilarious cutaway to them getting their marijuana card with the shadiest looking doctor of all time.

Yeah, totally. Well, I'll tell you this much as a person who loves his marijuana. That was the hottest marijuana doctor I've ever seen. And I know where they were to. And trust me, that is not a real guy. The real one is like a homeless guy off the street He's like, yeah, it was wrong with you Hey, we tried yoga. All right, well then here's your weird thing

So the only reason why I'm mentioning any of this was because when Katie told Stasi about what Shino was saying Stasi in her interview she gets so mad she goes Sh, were you raised by wolves in the hills of Azusa? To me, that was like my favorite line of the night. She's funny. I like, I'm glad she's back. She has some good one liners and I like how she gets mad. Yes. Oh, man, and everything, everything.

I love that Katie was like, well, everybody is like apparently I have a problem with rage when I have alcohol. So maybe this will help. You know, instead of being, instead of being tequila, Katie, I can be token Katie. I'm like, uh, token Katie, you already are a token Katie. And we got another one of you. This is your obligatory Katie we had to have on this show. It's just going to be a token. Bring another black person out. We need some diversity. Listen, listen, you know, this show runs on cycles and it's every three years they put a black person on the show. So unfortunately, we had faith last season. So we are in a motorcycle for black people. They're like, bring on a black person, give them a used couch and send them on their

way. It's like Jesus show. They're like, listen, we had Richardson, right? For like a second, being like, you're hot. Right. We had Richardson there, yeah, for a minute. Also the Katie's like, you know what? So I'm a raging mean alcoholic. So I'll become a drug addict too. That will help. This is a great combination. Keep it up. Can't wait to see where this goes next season. Flip flopping between you know, uppers and downers. I'm afraid to see what's in our tea towels now. Girl, Lala's already on you about summer bodies. You really need the munchies? Just stick with the iceberg lettuce, okay?

No bottle of ranch is safe. So good. I when she had that enormous bite of salad, I Legitimately was like, oh my god. I want like a iceberg. I want like a wedge salad right now. It was it was really away, boom. It was really such an important moment in history of iceberg lettuce. Really. It was an important moment. I think for people just to that that it is reality. I'm like, that's you would never consciously take that kind of bite knowing that you're on

camera. And yet she did. She's like, she did. She's like, I'm, all the iceberg now. So we go over to this roast. And Kristen's like, Hey, look at the roast. So basically, I don't even and then you laugh. So just her, uh, Kristen's material yikes. She's like, so is this your 40th? Like, 40, don't worry. 40 is the number of times you've given your number out of Surr.

And it's like the number of bottles you store from Surr. And it's like the number of times that Stasi dumped your ass at work. So it's the number of times I asked Tom to get back with me. Clear. Seriously? Then Ariana, I thought Ariana's was pretty funny. Kristen nods. Are you just saying that because she's not mad at us anymore? No, she's not mad at us anymore. We can be assholes again. I'm only nice if I think you're mad at me. If you're not mad at me, I'll continue what I'm doing. But Kristen was trying to get at Ariana because you know you're supposed to risk the person that's coming up. So she's like, yo, well, Ariana, like Ariana may steal men, but she can't steal hearts. What was her, what was

her thing? I don't know because I didn't know that was the rule. So what did you say, Amy? I didn't get her. I mean, the rule, I guess the rule about roasts is that you roast like everyone in the room. Well, at least some people in the room. And then you know, you do a joke on a couple different people and then the main jokes at the at the honoree. But I did not understand Kristen's last joke to Ariana. I didn't get it. So when we dated the same, we dated like the same guy, so we have that in common, but like, what we don't have up in common is that I upgraded.

Eh, I'm very honest. Oh, right. Yeah. I was like, oh, was that a joke? Or is that just a therapeutic moment for you? Yeah, pretty much. She's like, I only paid like 60% now. So, yeah. But Ariana, Ariana came on stage and then basically just went for the kill with Kristen. And it was like, yeah, well, at least when Jack's fucked Kristen, it was like the one time her

mouth was ever shut. And they cut to Kristen and she's like, Oh, and I got to Kristen and she's like, I like also when she said, the only thing you're better at than getting arrested is getting people pregnant. Vegas. Jack's watches Jerry Springer just to hear someone say you are not the father over and over again. You are not the father over and over again. Katie was lame. Katie was at some fight from 10 years ago. Yeah, she was basically just airing a grudge. She's like, Jacks, you said that you want to Tom to rail a girl in front of me.

But guess what? You're getting railed a lot. It's like, oh, great. Right. Sorry. It's the, oh, great. I'm like, woo. Yeah. Right, right. Sorry, it's the token Katie speaking. Nice ball gown Velcroed your stage manager's outfit, weirdo. I wish it had been Tequila Katie up there because you know if it was Tequila Katie, it'd be like, Jacks, you once said that Tom should rally grow in front of me, but like, I'm not going to tell you who to be friends with, but like, loyalty

means a lot, and I just, I don't like, I don't understand, and to be like, okay, Kate, just stay true, I'm not making a point. And then she said, uh, he gave me, the nicest thing he ever did was give me sunglasses, and they turned out to be his ex-girlfriends, And then the mom goes, hey gave me sunglasses too. Oh my god, geez. What is Jackson's thing? Yeah, I think the best joke was Shay because he got out there and he said, I'm not the fattest guy in the group anymore.

He was the best joke. That was the best joke. And Tom went in for the kill too. Thomas, like, yeah. So does anybody notice that with Jackson, it's always allergy season. Like, yeah, but you talk like this. So guessing you snored out the same bag. I mean, I don't know who you throw stones at. Don't throw crack rocks when you live in a crack house. Okay, Tom. So then he started going in about Jack's being so coaked up that he couldn't feel his teeth and kicking in a door. And then he gives him an heavy war hall painting of himself being like crazy a mess down. Yeah. And then he

well, then Tom makes a joke. He's like, yeah, if Jack's please his girlfriend more than maybe she wouldn't have to jump about Kristen. And then it was like, yeah, he was all up and then Tom number two was like, well, I don't know, Jackson's game. Okay, thanks. And the mom was like, what? Yeah. She was so scared. She was terrified. Jackson made a to prison. I've done this. I steal. I've done all this shit. And she's mad that I kissed a dude. Yeah. Like really? Yeah, exactly.

But I did like afterwards when Kristen confronted Tom. I was like really mad at Tom about mentioning the the muff diving thing and She's like that's not cool and Tom's like dude. This is a roast man. I know he was like he was Tom to Token Tom there He was really he was really feeling passionate about this the spirit of a roast and she's like Come on Tom aren't you more creative than that? It's like no, I'm a bartender And what's worse than me talking about you going down on Brittany me talking about it? Are you going down on Brittany like what the hell dude? me like what the hell dude. And that pretty much ended a just another eventful episode of Vanderpump rules. That was fun. Amy love you. I love you. Oh

my god you guys that was soup. That was super fun. Thank you so much for having me on. Yeah, let's please do it in real life again soon. Yes, for sure. Let's not want to attack anybody. Reunion tour at pump and sir. Okay. Yeah, I'm in. I'm taking y'all Saturday night is sooner than you think. Well, actually, we should probably weeknight it, right? Yes. Absolutely. We're over there. I went in there this week on Saturday and I just cannot get around the planters on a Saturday. They're too big. They're massive and those trades at Tuna Tartar are just constantly going back and forth. It's just it's not possible, of course, and they're basically. All right, everybody. Amy, tell us again where we can find you on L Twitter and Insta and everywhere.

Twitter at Amy Phillips underscore. Catchy and at meet Amy Phillips Instagram. Also, what is your shift schedule on radio and D? Oh, yeah, it's Tuesday and Thursday morning. And it's a eight a.m. Pacific and 11 a.m. Eastern. And then it replays throughout the day in the week. And then if you have the serious XM app, then you can always listen on demand like a podcast. Oh, rad. Perfect.

Yeah. We'll shake you that everybody. Amy, we love you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you guys. I love you guys too. We love you and just keep rocking with those amazing impersonations. They are truly truly the best. Thank you guys. You're so awesome. Love to you, baby.

Love you. Bye. Hey, Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch or crap and add free on Amazon music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.