Watch What Crappens - #396 PumpRules: Sia Later, Alligator!

Episode Date: February 22, 2017

Comedians Julie Goldman and Brandy Howard ("The People's Couch") join Ben and Ronnie for a raucous recap of a raucous episode of "Vanderpump Rules." We get into all the messy situations: Tom's Sia wig, Jax's urine stream, Katie's lace dress, and the many, many gators. Come listen! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premium Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J

Chrissy D'Awardy and Mia Hanson Aloha! Thanks! To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch our crap ends.com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends that's Patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to Watch what crap ends. A podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker from BesideBlog.com and the banter blender in Joining me is the always lovely and ascorbic and generally charming and exuberant Ronnie Caram from trashtalktv.com

and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast and Real House House of Beverly Hills. Audio books, hey Ronnie, what's going on? Hello Ben. You sound full of life right now. Well, I'm just waiting for you to introduce people so I'm smoking you cigarette at my screen door. So, carry on.

I will carry on. Okay, so the other people that you may hear in the background already, we are so excited to have them back. It's Julian Brandy, known from the People's Couch. Welcome back to the show, guys. And Gals. Thank you. What's going on?

Do you like that nice awkward intro? I love an awkward intro. I like very good. Yeah. Isn't that a sexual position? It's called awkward intro. Very good. Isn't that a sexual position? It's called awkward intro. Yeah. Watching your favorite one called smoking out the screen door.

Yeah. Yeah. S-O-T-S-D. You feel me inside of you? You feel me inside of you? I'm smoking at your screen door. I'm smoothing at your screen door. Why don't you tell me?

Why don't you tell me? I'll explain that it ends with a queef. Go on. Why don't you tell everyone where do you tell me what it ends with a quif go on why do tell us why just tell everyone where they can find you on social media Okay, I am at the Brandy Howard. This is Brandy's voice. I want everyone out there to know Cuz you're gonna say more offensive shit than me and I don't want to get blamed This is Julie at mr. Julie Goldman being gay as a choice This is Julie at Mr. Julie Goldman being gay is a choice. You guys.

He had a failure is totally fine. That was that was Brandy who said that. It's fine. That was Milo, you know, to know lapel. I'm sorry. Also, you guys are the reason I brought up a Milo joke is because you guys are currently doing a new podcast called dumb gay politics. Or is it big dumb gay politics? Dumb gay politics with you.

Dumb gay politics. That's right, thank you. What a perfect fucking time to start a political podcast. Yeah. Well, or the worst time, you have very intense. Well, we're trying to get mylo to come on.

We want to talk to him. Oh, wow. Dude, that was a good time. He'll do it now. No one else will have him. Yeah. Have you guys got any pushback or blowback from anything that that's you guys have set on the podcast yet? We've gotten a little because I, this is Brandi said that when the March went on, I was like, I'm happy everyone's marching and I'm proud of everyone, but I don't need people who go to Hillary Clinton holding signs that say,

oh, grab this pussy. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure Bill Clinton was a big pussy driver. I don't fucking have a crystal ball to know that. And so I just was like, I mean, I had to point out the hypocrisy. It wasn't anything against the March, but, um, you know, people got mad because it's all about consent.

Yeah. Consent. Right. Well, he did say they let him do it. Trump. He was like, you can grab you, you can grab him by the pussy and they let you do it. So I mean, I think that's called consent. Yeah.

Also, just not to beat a dead pussy grabber, but he also, it was, he was talking about it. Also, Bill Clinton actually did fuck an intern in the Oval Office. So anyone that wants to get into it, let's get into it. It's the day, you know what I am. Let's get into it. Well, at least, at least he fucks up on the Oval Office and not in Vegas. Am I right, everyone? Am I right everyone? Or in a workshop or in a workshop. So speaking of Vegas, that was my little segue. Why don't we get in? I hope that doesn't make people not want to listen because Julie's like a huge lesbian. That's a real lesbian. Yeah, I it. You guys are kind of our counterparts.

We're like little besties who do a show together, and you're little besties who do a show together. So if anyone's going to get offended, I think they would not be listening in the first place. That is true. Good. We like to keep it in. They would have already been sick of us.

It's super whatever. But we do like to try and as I'm a middle child, and I'm trying very hard, we do like to try and see all sides, even though we will lean towards the gay side. Yeah. Yeah. Lean gay. And Julie's insane. So basically, you know, and I'm the idiot. So, you know, I'm the dumb of the dumb gay.

Well, we always like when things lean gay anyway. So I mean, I think anyone who leans away from gay, I mean, they're anyone who leans away from gay, I mean, they're missing out on so much greatness. They're missing out on good head. Okay. That's right. You know, however you that's right. And you guys speaking of good head, pump rules,

prep rules. Okay. So let me ask you what happened with the after show, what's going on. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you what I was going to ask you because this is not letterman, but I'm curious because loved you on that. What's happening with that? Why isn't it happening? We need it. Oh, thank you. Well, it's clearly not going to happen. They, they, they, and by the way, no one ever called us Bravo. They love us over there, man. We're like, we are like ginger. No one wants. So basically, I think, you know, the word on the street was just that our impression was that the, the way the storylines were going,

they just weren't waiting enough to like carry an after show week to week. But we never really got that said, but I mean, from watching it, I think we know it's true. I mean, like, what would we say? Like every week it would just be like, well, that was fake, well, that was planned. And one more one of those motherfuckers cries.

I mean, I'm gonna punch one of my dogs I can't handle four people cry like four grown men I don't want to be like couples anymore don't you have a stand I can't be around couples oh I just can't do it no more don't you know how did you kiss in front of me but I'm not in a couple how could you be so insensitive my eyes? My eyes my eyes a bone and oh Please that asshole. They're like putting fucking like cayenne in their eyes to like They're I'm like wow and the thing is tossy is a great actress. I don't know if you guys are on Sharknado 10 or what oh so good so good. I'm familiar with her work on the amazing race family edition. That's where my that's my go to reference with her.

Well, you go way back. Well, we're the chin-in point. Well, check out the dark. It's good. I hear it covers thematic territory. That's very similar to amazing race. So I'm in. Yeah, yeah.

But could it be Kim Richards in Sharknado, like 22 when she got smashed by a shark? She's like, I can't go. It's like a whole fight. I just splattered her all over the all over the sidewalk. She didn't have because somebody else like Sharay or Mimi or someone else. That's right. No, Stasi is a full scientist. Yeah, she has a huge heart. She is a huge part and she is

by far. I mean head and shoulders. The best actor. Literally. She's like everyone runs to shelter now. There's a tornado and it's filled with sharks. Follow me. No she's good. I'm not even kidding you guys. She was like tweeting Ryan Murphy like or tweeting about what's that Ryan Murphy show where they kill people. They're little American horror stories? Oh yeah, American horror story. Oh, screenqueen. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's sweet. It's sweet.

I mean, 100 tweets a day about screenqueens. And I was like, this bitch is trying to get Ryan Murphy to put her on that show. And then when I saw her act, I was like, and you know what? He should. She's really good. Why not? Is that show coming back?

I don't know. I probably think people like that. You guys, I think you're hitting your mic or your phone headphone's mic might be being... It's still here. You can't stop fucking playing with your hands. I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it. Yeah, or if you need to like drum your fingers on the table, use your lap.

Yep, got it. I tell Ben. on the table, use your lap. Yeah, I have like a full on like Appalachian clogging thing going on here on my lap right now. Today, we did another show, Kate Casey's show, and so we were in her studio, and I've been I saw it. I saw what you were doing. Like now I have a visual. I didn't even because when you talk, you talk like a politician and you like, you're

like, and here's this point, and here's this point and here's this point. You like put your hands on the table. You're like, here's this point and this point. Yeah, that's what it is. Okay, so let's start at the start. Let's start at the start, guys. My English is killing it today of Vanderpump rules. Yeah.

So we've left off everybody's shit faced in, you know, the shit hole that is nola at the moment and Brittany is like, I don't know how you could apologize to her First of you did, but yet you're mean to me and you don't apologize to me Like I don't think we can compare the reasons that jacks is shitty to Stasi to the reasons Jackson shitty to you. Like Stasi has more to be angry about than, you know, a sandwich for sure. Yeah. True. Yeah.

However, no, no girl ever wants to witness that. Yeah. I don't know that I'd be too happy if my boyfriend slash girlfriend to cry in front of me to their ex Britney mad about that she's like Remember that time you asked for a sandwich. I'm like this bitch just started like sobbing like Let's list all the shit jacks did to Stasi fuck your best friend fucked. I don't know how many bus girls Yeah, like got her addicted to Coke or whatever. What? There's a lot. I mean, the breeze is trying to cut him off at the pass.

She knows what Jackson's capable of. So she's going to have him start saying, sorry now, just at the basic, like, you made me make you a sandwich, what I didn't want to, just keep it at that simple level and hopefully he won't go much further than that. Well, on the defense of Brittany, I would say he does demean her, he does talk down to her, and I like Jack's, and I would say this is,

you know, he's a nice guy and all that stuff, but he does treat her like shit, and he's treated like shit a lot on camera. And I can only imagine how he treats her when they're actually off camera living their lives. Like, you know, he says in front of their friends, I pay your bills, you sit on the couch, you don't do anything, I got your tits for you, blah, blah, like he's demeaning. Yeah, he is. He's very demeaning, but also she, I mean, it's not like she just discovered this, and she started dating him. I mean, it was his awfulness was well documented on national TV for years

Exactly and she and also she should be mad she should like Stasi I'm bigger. I mean like sorry. I got these big he shit. He's like you need to go find your own boyfriend He's like you need to go find your own boyfriend You promise you I need that Kentucky from Brittany Uh, yeah, if we were still doing the after show I would absolutely be like your next storyline needs to be like Fuck off out of my life saucy killin jacks Yeah, I think that would be a very good storyline for Brittany to follow um I also by the way I felt bad for jacks because he said uh you're kicking a dead horse and even Brittany knew that wasn't a saying. And when they even Brittany knows

that, you know, you know, you've gone down a bad path. Well, he knew when he said, like Christians dead, who killed Christian? I love playing that game kicking a dead horse. We always have dead horses around the farm. They made me question. I was like, what's the say? Well, he knew when he said it, because he was like, sub kicking a dead horse and he stopped and he looked and went, wait a minute.

And he did that before too. He said something that he was like, wait a minute. Well, that's what I was saying. I mean, I can't tell if he's just pretending he's dumb because a lot of times they do it. Kristen's famous for that, you know, she'll be like, she'll say something stupid to be funny, but it's like, why is that your personality, Tray, you want to get out there on TV? I don't know any sayings.

I mean, not to jump ahead, but that whole morning scene between them made me want to fucking bomb. I was like, uh, stop grabbing your dick. Oh, yeah, stop it. Yeah. It's got to be gross. I was like, break, uh, stop grabbing your dick. Oh, yeah, stop being disgusting. Gross. I was like, break up with him right now. Pretty break up with him. He's gonna cheat on you next season. It's so obvious. Yeah.

I understand why brand new is irritable. I mean, the guy like just that just dutch off and her in the bed of the way we started the show with him farting in bed while she's trying to get ready for a fancy lunch at Galatwars. And he's so jacked to because he's like, what was that? She's like, you farting. He's like, oh, that wasn't you.

He doesn't even know at this point. Like way to make people think you're not gay. Like you don't even know when you fart. By the way, by the way, I have to say, I feel like I have to mention the how amused I was that Shino was playing Pokemon Go. I don't know why. The idea of, because I feel like she sort of is how amused I was that Shina was playing Pokemon Go. I don't know why, the idea of, because I feel like she sort of is a Pokemon

that needs to be captured, I don't know. She's very, she definitely looks very cartoon-y. Like a manga. Yeah. Meanwhile, we all think, we know we're all thinking, maybe if you didn't play so much Pokemon, you're married because of Shina. I like to think of like Pikachu running away,

actively running away from Sh like like oh here she comes Let's go to the next gym or whatever they call it these Pokemon are so fast Maybe that's why she couldn't find Shay that whole weekend She was just looking at the Pokemon Think I'll be one of each other probably Pokemon's Yeah, so that couple isn't such trouble. I mean, they're waking up in New Orleans. This poor guy hasn't been able to have a drink on camera, you know, and she's playing Pokemon at bed. I think those guys out of here. I can't believe you've lasted this long.

But they're more and more in love than ever. Oh, that was on the other episode. Well, we forget it. We cannot deal just to take it back. Like our pet peeve is the goddamn like, the naked lady book, that's the kiss of the divorce on a show, like your lawn gun Peter. Yeah. Oh, my love. I made this beautiful boofy my love. It's called Limes in the Dementry.

And I make it in my love. Ooh, this one is the naked of me, my love. It tickes all over me, my love. Ooh, life. The sisterhood of the traveling white lamb jeans. Exactly. Not even a robot. I can pick up with their photo shoot and then all of a sudden he's like, oh, thank you.

Oh, yeah. Oh, you're so hot. And then she's like, he's going to get back to the hotel right away. And then he's like, oh, I'm so much more in love with you now than ever been in my life. Meanwhile, they are Jeff Orts. Yeah. He's never been in love with her.

So for her to say he's more in love with her than ever before, it just means he has like a slight moment who he felt something. And that was gone again. Yeah, I don't think it's a problem marrying an alcoholic, but I do think it's a problem marrying an alcoholic and then sobering them up, because that's not the same person you married. I mean, that person was drunk enough to marry

your stupid ass in the first place. You need to keep him around. Don't go improving your man. If you need to improve something, get a new bathroom. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think they'd still be together. She was like down with a little pillage. Yeah, exactly. It's is completely nice too. But I remember the alligator thing when he's like, I mean, listen, she and us super annoying. You know, she's really, really annoying. We just had to talk about how annoying she is.

Or whatever I was like, jeez. I mean, God, there was such great advice, such sage amazing advice. And I mean, what was Kristen's fucking boyfriend doing in every scene? Oh my God, that guy, the worst. Why fucking boyfriend doing in every scene? Oh my God. That guy is not the worst. Yeah.

Why is he a groomsman? I was downright and we're fine. Yeah, that guy is absolutely the worst. I wish he wasn't on and he was fine when he didn't speak, but now he's speaking and he's taking Kristen's side. Yeah. It's like, dude, I know you're not paying any of the bills, but the least you could do is watch some Bravo on demand or something on TV

I mean are online like figure out who you're dating don't ever stand up for Kristen And like the show evolution brushing company doesn't care that I mean the audience isn't made up of like all morons There's at least like 20 smart people watching a show who are like he's not even friends with freaking Tom short So why is he rooms? Yeah, yeah You guys have you have you guys confirmed these groups or is he just lurking on the weekend? I can't tell because he does seem to lurk very well He that's like one of his that's like one of his skill sets is like lurking. He just like shows up That's true. He is a professional lurker

Yeah, that kind of is always around waiting for someone to pay for cheese sticks. And he did not get a drag. He did not get a drag. Which race he might not have been in Garoum's men. That's not. Well, neither did Shayne. Shayne definitely is one right. Because they're real friends. I couldn't even believe like Shayne didn't even. Shayne's like, I'm can't even be bothered to go out. And I'm like, that's like their actual friends.

He had sun poisoning. So I wish you just like, check off. I was hoping he got like alligator, some kind of alligator disease from that's the bomb water. And he asked, is someone with a fucking snake in the crispy room? You can consider yourself an ex-bride. I will fucking break up with you so hard, and lose your number like, don't ever, like they kept doing it. The joke was done. I was like, I'm gonna have a co-card attack in my own bed watching. I was so glad I don't have friends like that. I was like, I was like every corner they'd turn around and it's like, oh and here's a baby alligator on your face. It's like enough with the reptiles.

So the episode basically the first half of it was the competing boys and girls outings. Okay, Stasi was like, lots of gold on like, oh that's Sheena talking, sorry. I forgot where I was for a minute. Before you get into the outings, it's important to note, I mean we're sitting here talking about, you know, Farts and Pokemon, but the real significant thing that happened at the top of this episode was the fact that Tom and Katie, despite their rock solid bows to each other, had gone into a fight, and she was rage-texting, and it was pertaining to some sort of uber situation, where it was 4 a.m. and she was tired,

she wants to get a car, and he was like, blah blah, let's walk a little farther, and then she got mad at him, and then I actually, I'm not sure I could really track this fight. It was something that I think she was mad that he wanted to walk and stuff getting her car, but then they called the car, but she was still mad. I don't know. Maybe you guys can still me in. I can't believe you got that much out of it. I was sitting there like, Julie Knight still like work on her reality show.

And the golden rule was like, if the fight wasn't caught on camera for the scene wasn't on camera then you don't talk about it later like I was and I don't even agree with that rule but never more than that fight that they talked about I was like what are they talking about what is a fight about the fuck are they taught even and then it was like he slept on the couch I mean like when you've got Tom and Katie and you know Katie's like a messy alcoholic and she's the villain of the season you've got Tom and Katie and you know Katie's like a messy alcoholic and she's the villain of the season. You've got them wandering around the streets drunk in New Orleans.

Why the fuck would you let people go to bed? I mean, give us second crew. There needs to be somebody up all night. Yeah, completely. Yeah, they sure managed to catch everyone's trips up to the hotel bathroom that I went all the way down with Dodie being a basic bitch. Yeah, they're like, wait, is someone being get the crew? Get the crew? Jack's just pissing again. Yeah, he's gone to the bathroom for the

hundredth time tonight. Weirdly Katie's been in the hotel room this whole time. She didn't see any of it go down. What's she been doing in there? Like on the bachelor, they all have producers assigned to them. I like to, I like to thought that there's just some intern assigned to Jackson's shit schedule, you know, like, I was Jackson's shit crew. But yeah, that fight was really weird because of course Tom's on the couch. That wasn't that shocking, but it's like the same abuse thing over and over again with these two. He's like, Hey, Baba, remember last night when you were mean to me and she's like, Why didn't you come to bed? Turn her to a diner waitress.

You don't have to have my back. Why don't you have my back, Tom? Oh, I don't understand her for all around our town. Oh, no, Lala. Lala. Oh, don't stand up for all our area on a good damage. Um, was Lala the Uber driver? I don't

understand. Exactly. Oh, it's just like the constant fight about Lala who's not even there. I mean, more mean while Lala's on Snapchat, like, yeah, girls, Martin Luther King. Am I right?

I'd let him tap my ass. I love black dick. She's like, turns out, honey, boo, boo, I'm snagging a rich white, ugly, disgusting guy with halitosis. That is true. PSG does say honey, boo, boo. Oh, yeah. It's an acting exercise. Oh, Locati ends this fight by you areing him. She's like, you're just being like

that because you're still drunk. So she's trying to turn around the drunk rage on to Tom, which I think is funny. That's so this show is like, you're mad when you're drunk, Baba. Not on your drunk. And that's why you're mad.

Like, oh, geez, please never go to court. I'm so glad they got a free nut. Yeah. I mean, even when he's mad, he's like so soft spoken. I'm so glad they got a free nut. Yeah. I mean, even when he's mad, he's like so soft spoken. I don't think he could summon any rage. He should definitely get out of the acting game

because his reality acting is like, well, my favorite fighting is when they fight. And this is, this was for Vanderpump. And this is for all of the housewives and everyone. When they fight in costumes, sad is my favorite. Because when they got into that fight, they were stooping, they're in the drag, and they're yelling at each other.

I was like, this is heaven. It's like Vicki dress in the 80s. Yup, they go back that clip all the time. Vicki just like losing her mind with her hair crimps. The absolute best one. Yeah. What the fucking lingerie. Oh my god. And Atlanta. That was a real white. Yeah, yeah, literal lingerie. Yeah, then there was an actual real physical fight.

Yeah. Yeah. That was on your right. And can he's like, you back up off me. Like a teddy. Yeah. And on Tom Schwartz never even took their wigs up. I'm sorry. No. Sandeval did upstairs after they had to be elevated. I'm gonna call them see. I called him see. Yeah, then he just went off. But they have to fix on. They can't fix that.

When they called him see. That's Carter Carter. When they got to that fight, Carter is like, grow up, man. What did he say? You're supposed to grow up and you just grew up to be see. And then Tom Sand of all is like, whoa, bro. Whoa. I grew up to be see a bro. It's really he took off his wig and shame

Yeah, so upset. I was like thank God someone got him take the wig off like I'll handle how much he was enjoying that yeah Ronnie all of this talk about Vanderpump rules going to New Orleans makes you think of all the food that's down there and then that makes me Super hungry No kidding and then Lisa Vanderpump trying to come up with new dishes and they all suck. Hey Lisa Vanderpump. Why don't you get hello fresh? Yeah Darling hello fresh to the have loo the ma Perhaps we don't know but I'll tell you one thing

Everything that I've had from a hello fresh has been amazing and a lot more amazing than that Cabbage Soup looked. No offense. Yes. Yeah, no offense, but these people send you fresh, beautiful things. I think Lisa Vanderpump walked into the kitchen with just do something with what you've got, you know, which I mean, the poor guy could only make Ahi Tuna with beats. It's like literally all they have there, but not with hello fresh.

You get a whole box of freshness. And they're all separated into color-coded little bags. So all your recipes tell you, you know exactly what it's for. It comes in a nice, cooled box. See, all your recipes, and you know exactly how to make what you're about to make. And you feel loved because it's like you're getting a present, and it's like a big box full of food. Darling, I was just admired.

I got this box from Hello Fresh and I thought to myself, at Sir, we should say hello more and cook food that's actually fresh. Be nice to Hello Fresh. No, Hello Fresh. If you're talking about Vanderpromp rules, chefs. Hello fresh is more chef penny than chef Joe. Yes.

Way more creative, guys. Yeah, it actually is like really really good. I mean we talk about it all the time and it's not bullshit. Oh am I allowed to say bullshit in an ad? Well guess what I just did because the truth is it has changed the way I make my burgers by the way because now I know how to melt my cheese properly because of the recipe from Hello Fresh and it changed the way I make pork chops. I just bought four pork pork chops that I'll, they're actually in the freezer, which means I'll probably get a HelloFresh box because I don't feel like throwing out my pork chops.

HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service and it makes cooking fun, easy and convenient. Yes, each week HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes like Lutamah with. Well, don't quote us on that. they may not do Lutamé. That's just the pendant pump rules reference. I'm like, I don't want to get in trouble, hello fresh. But maybe if you're right to them, they'll include

a Lutamé recipe for us. Probably not. So, but they do have these create new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes for everyone from novices to seasoned home cooks short on time. And by the way, that's true to you. I remember opening up my recipe thing and being like, this is like three things.

How am I going to make this in 30 minutes? And I did. Yeah, you actually do. And it's using ingredients. You are not going to buy it the grocery store. I think there were things in there that I was like, I would never buy this and it's perfectly portioned already there and delicious. Like, it's taught me how to use new things.

Hello fresh sources, the freshest ingredients measured to the exact quantities needed, so there's no food waste. Yeah, and they actually employ a full-time registered dietitian on staff who reviews each recipe to ensure it is nutritionally balanced. All delivered to your door staff and a special insulated box for free. That's... So if you want $35 off your first week of deliveries, visit hellofresh.com and enter the promo code Crapins35.

That's C-R-A-P-P-E-N-S-3-5 when you subscribe. Yes, do it. You'll remember it because it's $35 off your first week at deliveries. HelloFresh.com. promo code crappin's 35. Okay, so competing party. So the guys went on, they're like, we're guys, alligators. I personally enjoyed the girls party the best because these girls are so awful to each

other. It's like Stasi's, Stasi's like, this is where I come with my dad and then they show a picture of her and her dad and the restaurant and her dad's looking at the ceiling. Like, get me the fuck out of here. Here I am again with fucking Stasi, you know. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Up. And then the girls immediately just try and rip them apart. The couple. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya And then the girls immediately just trying to rip them apart the couple and then here's what you also don't want to hear at a party that I think I heard 50 times during that But he was like we're having the most fun right girls Right and they cut a cane chowing down on the bread like yeah, it was fun going down on the bread. Like, yeah, it was fun. We know how to have fun. The boys probably are doing it much when it's where I go. I bet the boys don't even have people refilling their water on time, right, girls? This is where the real party is. Yeah. And then Kristen and Shina are like, I'm seriously going to throw up if I smell this nasty. Oh, yeah. And they have to pee this out. And she's like, saw these like, let the answer piece out and she's like saucy's like let the anorex six go and I was like too shame

Look in Sina and can't be around anything with claws And then this time she's like I can't be around things with shells I don't want to work for it. She's a cause where she's like would you eat a cat? We never mind that she's a way to us. She serves this shit on the regular. Does anyone from Vanderpump listen to this you guys? Stasi, yes. Stasi listens. We're not. It's okay.

They can take it. Well, I mean, we haven't talked. I mean, I was going to say, what was that thing that Stasi said in the interview? That was the funniest thing anyone's ever said, oh, this has to be in the top 10 funniest things. This is right up there with like, who gonna check me boo and shit straight up and like, good night trash bomb. She fucking said, he looks like Tiffany

with an eye who asked you to give her a ride to the check cashing place. I was like, shut the fucking game down. When did she say that? When did she say that? Your friend Tiffany, who goes with an eye, who asked you to ride to the check cashing place. And then she asked,

And then she gets cigarette. Yeah, another ride to something 11 after. I'm like bitch, you shut the game down. So it's good for those one liners. Oh my god, that's amazing. Stop hitting your mic. God damn it. What are you doing to that mic? I didn't touch it. Yes, you did. You backed up. Oh,

back and so this lunch, the girls, you know, the girls heard the scoff said by shells. She Christians like seriously a cap to shells. So they go off to the side and Christians like seriously, like last night, I don't even know if Katie remembers, but like last night, I had to tell Tom, like me and Carter, like had a serious situation with Schwartz

and we were like we figured it out like we finally figured it out. Like Kristen you get a job. Yeah. Honestly. Honestly. So they've decided that Katie's a raging bitch because Tom cheated in Vegas a long time ago and they're trying to bring this back like it's some secret that we've never heard about but they've already fought about that back like it's some secret that we've never heard about,

but they've already thought about that for like two seasons. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's just so, that he's not saying it's not right. Isn't that part of the thing? Or no? Well, now he's claiming he woke up in the room. Oh, right, right.

But he doesn't remember, blah, blah. Right, but so, I can't take it. For the time of Santa Claus, I was like, there's no way you could have even done it, man. Like, you're dick wouldn't have even gone in there inside there. I tried, bro. I held a capture to you for like 30 minutes and nothing. I put it in my mouth for five solid minutes and I couldn't get it hard.

Because right when he said he couldn't have done anything. He's like, he's like, shut it. Shut it. I was like, oh, let us get the tea. Please, let us get all the tea. They don't do anything separately. I can't wait for them to bust their love. People.

They are also keeping up. So Chris, I'm sorry. So Chris and Shina hasht this plan that because they've had this good will hunting moment where they've figured out the root of all the evil, they're going to- How about them apples? Seriously? Seriously?

So they're going to confront- they've decided that they're going to confront Tom later tonight and make- he has to own it, least serve in a style. And then that way Katie can finally move on. I'm like, no, I don't think Katie's gonna move on that quickly. I mean, she was cheated on and she has scars understandably so. But, you know, they have they've had their stupid plan and, you know, I like it on these shows. So I'm like, all for it. Yeah, hold that grids, Katie.

Hold that grids girl. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, hold that grids girl. But other people that was in 2014. He must have fact at least a couple of other people by now. That's why she couldn't stand my law because she doesn't trust him. Yeah, she can't, for whatever reason,

I mean, my armchair therapy would say there's no possible way she can have any other like sexy girls around him or anyone or whatever, she doesn't trust him and he hasn't proven that he's trustworthy. So they're just fucked. They're fucked, they're really fucked. But he has proven that he's trustworthy. So they're just fucked. They're fucked. They're really fucked. But he has proven that he's poor and that he doesn't

like spending money. And Lala Ho, so I think she saved on that one. Lala's like waiting for a plane. She's not just going to fuck somebody, like some fat model, the offense time. Right, well, that's true, I should think. But I did something Katie's ever gonna trust him. I don't know.

I think it's, I mean, I actually understand, as much as Katie annoys me this season, I actually understand her rage if that's the source of it, because I mean, how can you trust this guy who cheated on you? Because you know that he slept with, with somehow, you know, it wasn't a kiss All right, but then you think then why are you getting married? Like why are you doing that to yourself? You put yourself in the situation You're creating it you're stirring your own pot. You're letting the cycle go It's your fault and at this point after two or three years or whatever if you haven't gotten over it and you're still Punishing him for it. I blame you. Yes, you're in the situation. You're saying she's

underestimating. I think you're underestimating how painful it is to be a girl on Pinterest without wedding pictures. I think you're actually right about that. That is true. You're right. Like you're saucy. We're all right. Yeah. I can't even walk down the street without people kissing. Yeah, I can't even walk down the street without people kissing To be alive. She's in a crosswalk and they don't walk starts flashing and she's like, oh look There's a single person flashing at me just one person walking alone on that traffic signal talking Then I was vision I was having a vision of Stasi having a moment with a crosswalk.

I was visualizing and I accidentally forgot I was on a podcast because it was such a striking image. And then I was thinking, how can I transition this to the swamp tour? And by the way, swamp tour is the original name of the show. Oh. That was the first working title. Yeah, working title of Interpreter was Swamp tour. Yeah.

I just have to add one quick thing before I forget to say, because it's extremely important. But Katie, I know all this talk about cheating. I totally agree with what you're saying, Julie, but at the same time, Katie was one giving the over-the- pants hand job to that dude two seasons ago. Oh, it's not like Kate. So it's better but it or he motorboat or number.

But wasn't it like a dick boat? Like what were they calling it? It was like a dick motorboat over the pants dick motorboat or something where she was like motorboating his dick. Yeah, little that little chapter in Vanderpump rules. Yeah, they all host. Yeah, they all host. Yeah. They all host.

You can't be, I mean, you know, just saying. I've never seen any of them wash their hands. You know, all those guys at the very least give each other hand jobs every once in a while. They've all got the same damn scars, scabs or whatever. So you're gonna get it, you know, it's like cheating, even if you're not cheating. Yeah.

I mean, she already should have dropped him just from the fact that he never, no matter what Jack's, talks so much about her on camera to his face, he'll be like, you don't want to marry her, don't marry her, just don't marry her, it'll be the biggest mistake your life. And then he still stays friends with him. And like right in front of her face, he's never stopped being friends with him. And it's like, there's nothing she can do. So that's another reason that she can't handle that he won't talk shit about Ariana because he never will being friends with him. And it's like, there's nothing she can do. So that's another reason that she can't handle

that he won't talk shit about Ariana because he never will talk shit about anyone. Like he'll never take anyone's side over her. Not her, she can take criticism. I think he's right about that. And I definitely think he's more emotionally mature than her, but he just stays friends with pieces of shit. Yeah, that's true.

But she's a piece of shit too. Like she's the perfect example of him staying with pieces of shit. Yeah, that's true, but she's a piece of shit too. Like she's the perfect example of him staying with pieces of shit. I mean, all that stuff that she did with Lala was so mean. Those girls were so mean to Lala when she first got there. They were great. And she still won't take responsibility for that. Even in this, the thing was this episode, the episode before Tom Stann was like, like, Martin, and Lala, and she's like, what?

You didn't like her? what you didn't like her? You guys didn't like her either? She's like I didn't do this Bachelor at trips I have my things thrown in my face I swear to Gladys Leave me honest and be like yeah you're fucking mean door you're

real fun. Yeah she won't she's like it's all editing it's all editing. Nobody can drive you, Stasi. The only one who can pull that off and rule and be like, well, it's Stasi. Yeah. When she's like, I don't know what your problem is, but I'll take a Pinot Grigial. One of the gris lines of all time. I mean, like, he's the only one. She would be the cattiest skinny bitch eating cigarettes breakfast lunch and dinner on the first season and would be so fucking conti to Sheena and everybody was like slow clap.

Yeah, because she just goes for it. She just goes and she just revels in it, whereas Katie actually likes to see herself as like a nice girl. Like I'm a girl's girl. I'm just like a small girl and like no, you're actually really nasty. Yeah. Yeah. She's, Stasi's awful, but at least she's trying to make a joke.

Yeah. Sometimes she probably doesn't even hate those people. She's just trying to be funny. But Katie's not, you know, Katie's serious. She's like, that girl's like a whore. My gosh, she's like, Katie, you don't have to find a salt pepper tray. Yeah, it's amazing what you can get away with if you're funny. It's like, Alec Baldwin, he called his daughter a pig.

And we're still like, oh, we love Alec Baldwin. Yeah. I know people online were like, who hasn't called their daughter of pig? Or like who hasn't felt that at some point? So anyway, so meanwhile while the girls are going or having fun at Ganatwas, the guys and Ariana, they go, they have that on their swamp tour. Tom puts snakes in like every possible container on this little boat And then afterwards they gather around for some in some some crabs and

Then they're just that this is when they're all talking about Katie and this one Carter starts sticking up for Katie, which is like a big no-no amongst the guys Yes, well, yeah that that whole thing started because they started talking about the fight and say it's like He's like she did that thing where he's like well marriage doesn't get easier. It gets harder I mean one day he wake up and then she is there, you know You don't know how you got there what happened last night And then they're like Jackson's like, where are you marrying that idiot? And Tom is still drunk. So he's like, well, at least she doesn't take your deepest darkest issues, Bubba.

And Jack's like, please don't marry her. You know, and everyone's just like, don't marry her. And then Carter's like, well, actually, oh no. Actually, I think the problem might be that you cheated in Vegas. Like Carter, not on the the like the bachelor party Carter But then it turned out to been old fucking like do you guys have to see that my friend is hurting I want the best for you man. I want the best for you man. I didn't want you to be a honey That was the site of the second crying I didn't want you to be a happy son and you're just not happy, man. You're a better guy.

That was the side of the second crying. Oh my gosh. Counts from the preview. Stasi Jack's in the beginning and now fucking Tom, add an alligator fucking brunch. Like come on. Bro, I've held you since day one, bro. You're like, you'll do anything for anyone, like do better or worse, hard, soft, like whatever, bro. You're like, you'll do anything for anyone like you better or worse, hard, soft, like whatever, bro.

Ooh. That's an important thing. Ariana's like, how many, what, what's that? That's crying. How many go back with the girls? I didn't want any of these emotions. I was like, I was a guy doing that stuff. Yeah, Jen, breaking gender roles.

Like, God, Chuck. I didn't hear it, and I certainly I heard Ariana give That's how to be with that with the guys doing that stuff. Yeah, Jen breaking gender roles like I didn't hear and I certainly I heard Ariana give like, you know, the good old college tribe like Well, she's probably just upset about you know getting married or whatever like Ariana is like not gonna Girls would be in a bitch to me in the past two fucking weeks, meanwhile, like just a small tangent. The guy in the boat picked up an entire alligator, doesn't anyone care? He picked up the water as if it was like a dog he found on the side of the road. He was like, oh, came here, Claudia, and then picked her up. And then it was like, here's Claudia, everyone.

And like, good girl. Come back in the water. Like, first, small card attacks. Oh my God, I couldn't stop. Yeah, I'll get her sounds like she comes from a fancy family. Yeah. But Claudia Jordan remains that floppy. And I love that no matter how she's trying to break the gender

rules, Ariana can't quite get there. She's like, oh It's so cute. Oh my god, only a girl would be like that is so cute It was I would want to like start some litigation like he could have been to eat and by the alligator And then we don't know how to drive that fucking boat and then the Alligators are gonna all jump on us and kill us cuz they're just waiting into that one guy's dead and it's like You know the alligator you the only one out here who knows what you're fucking doing We don't want to get back to the mainland. Yeah, now that's where the show should have gone Fucking old Roger swam should have been eaten by the thing taken into the water and then all the guys in Ariana your swamp should have been eaten by the thing taken into the water and then all the guys in Ariana left on the windboat and been like what are they gonna do man and then they'd be

alone out there in the swamp like is we just out of fucking survive and then it would be like Vanderpump rules survival yeah swamp survival in the first place because he's pissed drunk and nobody knows how to drive that fucking windboat it's harder than it looks nobody knows they would have to sit out there and put a flair. And then the alligators would come into the boat. Yeah. Once they see that fucking dweins dad or whatever. Dwayne. So they get in a frayed and I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. The least they could have come in and be like, I don't have any of it, but I have to get a whole new wait stop.

I will eat it. They will eat in the New Orleans. I don't know. All of the old people have been murdered. Like Lisa's secret plan the whole time to get a fresh cast. Yeah. I like how Lisa, I like, it's around now that they went back to Lisa's, or you know, because they always have to check in with her and she's like, I want three new dishes and then she tells us, you know, I like to keep things fresh right here.

So we do these things called specials. I'm like, oh, one innovation, Lisa. Yeah, she's like, I like to keep the chefs on their toes. I'm like, quit torturing everyone. This B storyline is a special that needs to be taken off the menu. Then the way I love to see what you could do with a salmon steak. than the way I love to see what you could do with a salmon steak. I'm the salmon. Three items. What do you do? Then of course the waitress has to come in and I hate those outfits.

I'm sorry and whatever but those t-shirt, purple, they're so waitress outfit. She's like, here's to him the chef. It's the first tasting dish. It's called cabbage soup. It looks like vomit. It looks purely like someone chef Joe has thrown up in a bowl. Yeah, chef Joe is no chef penny. That's for sure. Yeah. A diet you do to lose weight for nine days. So anyone and we've all done it, you can never touch fucking cabbage soup again. Yeah, or you'll literally struggle up and down. Yeah, we've probably done it. It also, it also shows you how well that staff has trained because that suit that Bimbo brought the sea fat sack. You guys, this is cabbage soup.

And it was all over the mall. Then she brought the, you know, what was the, and they, they corrected her. Oh, well, she brought out, uh, Luda mayor and she's like, here's some loop to mur. Yeah, and then the lady's like, it's Luda mayor. And she's like, I didn't know how to say thing. I mean, not that I wouldn't know how to say it either, but it's just like, don't make the girl feel like a piece of shit. Come on. We just call it stay.

And there's also like an ahi tuna and yellow beat skewer thing with like dangly hair hanging off of it. Where the beets were the size of Rubik's cubes. I cannot believe you guys watched this. I fast forwarded that shit so fucking hard. I looked at Jiggy with his paws and the tables said that's so fucking cute. I can count myself now. And then I said fast forward this whole show. Oh my god. I watched the whole thing. I'll try the food and then it'd be like, Oh, this is a little bit of a second live on. And then literally, I'm the guy. Well, God, you watch every second of it.

Lisa is just trying to break restaurant boundaries. She's like, oh, he do now. Wow. In a skewer. The pizza yellow, darling. Darling, we We're gonna sear it on the outside, but keep it raw on the inside. It's actually an apple. I actually went to serve the other night and Peter was our waiter because which was weird, you know, Peter's not a waiter, but he's standing there in the suit and he's like,

would you like some water? Like he's really awkward. And he looked like he had taken three zarmics. It's like, would you like some water? And I was like, wow, you're as exciting in real life as you are on TV. No wonder you don't got any lines, bro. Take an article. What is wrong with you? Are you like, are you the director of the Riven sir? Well, I told them they're making you wait tables now and he goes well, I mean we're packed. It's like okay drum I thought you'd better get a drum off. Yeah, I mean meanwhile remember when he put the wig on and looked exactly the same I think Peter just used your real hair. That jacks was like you look like you're from Florida Peter just used your real hair. That jacks was like, you look like you're from Florida.

That was funny. Peter was actually the most believable I thought as a woman. Yeah. Yeah. You did. I thought jacks looked like that less from the road world's real world challenge, which I love. Remember that? Did you guys watch that?

You have to. I haven't watched it in a few years. I have to. Well, for anyone's Rachel, She's Jewish les and he looked fucking exactly like her I was like oh my god. He looks just like Rachel That exact haircut. I'm gonna have to look Anyone out there listening needs to google that shit or and there's I'm telling you right now There's like at least 20 people are like oh my god. She's so right and look to you She's all buff like that too. Oh, I liked, I mean, I liked Peter's look.

I felt like he was a lady out run into a Stein mart or something, you know, like shop. Yeah. The glasses. Right. Yeah. But early in the morning, because he knows that that's when they put the good stuff out.

Yeah. Exactly. And asking lots of questions of the staff. Like, is there another one of these around? Is it just this one? OK. OK, great. Thanks. Do you think one of you could help me it just this one? Okay, okay, great. Thanks. Do you think one of you could help me if I bought this? Could you help me get this

price tag off this glue is so strong. I thought Tom Schwartz was the most unattractive as a lady personally. Maybe it's just because they took his eyebrows off or something. I don't know. Well, my theory is that they all look like shit because they hired drag queens. And so drag queens are making them look like fucking clown shit because they hired drag queens. And so drag queens are making them look like fucking clowns because they're drag queens, you know, and they're like looking crazy on purpose. Those guys could be beautiful as women, but you know, they need like a good, they need a good guy to give them advice. Like don't wear a base. You don't need to cover your eyebrows.

Like just put on a little, you know, put on a little mascara, you all look like women. I mean, come on, except Jack's. I don't think there's any helping Jack's. I thought it was interesting that so that they got into drag and then they went to the rusty nail and they're like, wouldn't it be hilarious? We're gonna go the straightest place, dressing drag. And I was like, you know, that's a lot of like white straight male privilege right there. Because if like an feminine gay guy walked into one of those places, he just get like this ass kicked, you know?

Yeah, that's what I thought. Maybe I was getting all the activity. Super open, but yeah, that's true. And also, they were actually women walking into a sports bar. Instantaneously, the vultures would be around them, then to try and get with them. Yeah. I'm looking through my notes. I'm so sorry for the dead air. I'm looking through my notes. I'm so sorry for the dead air. I'm

looking through my notes. I'm like, okay, drag queens. It's over. Bye everybody. So Arianna was doing her James Kennedy but with a different accent so she wouldn't get in trouble. She's like, hey guys, check out Ma'Vine. She made a really hot guy. I

thought. Yeah, she was pretty cute. So then the boys go back over and she... She goes to talk to the girls side for a little while, right? Is this where she was doing that? Yeah, and this is when the girls are... They've hired a stripper. Katie's always said they brought in a cake for Katie and then the person with the cake is like,

guess what, I'm a stripper. And then that's when like, Sassy does the thing that you were just talking about where she's like, we're totally having a better time here with our stripper than the guys are. I mean, they're not having a good time. We're having a good time. It's like, okay, we're miserable, we get it.

Like, but China's. Their stripper looked like Jackson drag. She did have a very nice body, but she did. She did. She looked just like him. I mean, she had the same wig and everything. Oh, I couldn't do as her pussy lips flapping in my face. Oh my God, that one shot where her legs are open.

Oh God, Jesus, right. Yeah. She was really going there. Yeah, these inner, it's like the worst to say, it's the part before the pussy lips. We're like, oh, it's too much. Too much clapping the worst to say it's the part before the pussy lips were like, oh, to those, those, too much. Yeah, I thought it was clapping. Yeah. Okay. I thought it was awkward when she knew God in between her legs, just to catch a Pokemon.

That was a weird moment for me. I found the shade. So, okay. So now, Jackson's starting. So now everybody's drunk. They're all at bars. Tom Swartz is wasted drinking everybody's drink. He's like, can you see him to penis bubble? Pull it up. Like they're just, they're just shit face. So this is when Jackson's at his best. He's pissing all over the floor, farting all over everything he passes as Jack does. And then he starts his, you know, shorts is over drinking and, you know, like suddenly Jack's cares about this drinking problem that Tom too is exhibiting. This is my favorite Jack's because Jack started all of this in the first place.

All of this. No one ever would have known about Tom Fuckin' that girl had it not been for Jacks. They even showed the clip of Jacks accidentally showing Kristen the tweet or whatever the text was. The text was. Yeah. Yeah. Harman, the best sex Jacks ever had. Oh, Harman's a great. Oh God. Harman, didn't she get dumped in that Sunset Burger's place? Yeah. Exactly. It was like a Sunset grill upstairs. No, I think it was a pizza place. Yeah, exactly. It was like a sunset grill upstairs. No, I think it was a pizza place somewhere on sunset. But he would go their place was to go to the sunset grill.

That was like there. I don't know why I pictured that pizza place in the valley for some reason, but yeah, no, it was a pizza place because there was like a pizza rack in between them while he was dumping. Yeah, and that's how the pizza to go. Yeah, that's right. I think it was that they had a romantic date

at the sunset grill upstairs. And then they broke up at a pizza parlor. You know what's weird about that is there was another breakup with pizza. Wait, what was the other breakup that was pizza? Oh, Jack's when he broke up with Laura Lee after that AA meeting. Oh, I'm like, he's like, I'm breaking up with you. They were in front of the crispy crust on sunset and fire. Jack's something about pizza. I can break it up with bitches, make some hungry. Yeah, it doesn't wanna be locked down.

Pizza gives me freedom. So anyway, so yeah, Jack's, I think we, you know, we mentioned this on KKC's podcast, but I feel like it needs to be mentioned again. The urine stream, I feel like I've never seen that on TV an actual stream of urine, and they didn't blur it out or anything. And coming out of jacks, it was a little bit too much for me. We always show themself taking shits. I know.

But to actually see the bodily fluid coming out of him. See the stream. coming out of him. See the stream stream of urine. That was just here, um, drug that alcohol coming out. That was just, that was just like, core's light and whiskey and shame. That was basically just like a drink. Tom too would have taken from somebody in that bar. It's all mixed up. Damn, and a pit on my dress.

We've all done that. I'm Britain. You's all mixed up. That's it. And a piece of my dress. Like, we've all done that. I'm pretty never even noticed. We love it. So, Ron, you were saying, Jackson, so Jack started all this. So Jack basically started it. So he's starting the, Jacks is partners with Kristen. I totally believe this that they talk and they text and they start shit together like little real housewives.

Because Jacks is starting this. So he's an alcoholic because of Katie, it must be something deeper. And then Christians like, I think I need to talk to Tom. So the guys go over to the hotel and they're all wasted and the girls are like, oh my God, you're like girls. Ha ha ha.

And then Christians like, Christians like the most important, the best time to talk to somebody about something serious is when they're wasted in address And takes him to the side and he's like oh is it just us? She's like, yeah, look I figured something out because I had a really long conversation last night with Katie and like this all stems from you fucking that girl in Vegas And then it goes down And like this all stems from you fucking that girl in Vegas. And then it goes down. And then he's like, you're basic. Don't hear your basic.

That's amazing. He's like, you are a basic blah, blah, blah. He's right. I mean, it's like the bachelor party. Why does she bring us up at the height of the bachelor party when he's most drunk? I mean, it's classic. Yeah, I can say had a meeting about it. The Danger form.

Julian, I literally thought Lisa Tom Schwartz, sorry about the fucking garbage truck in the background. Lisa Tom Schwartz, Gina and Jack's having a meeting at public during the day, not this year, but last year, we knew for sure they were having like a full-on storyline meeting. Welcome to the manipulation meeting, Dallings. Yeah, I have some cabbage soup to get you ready. I'm sitting in my chair made out of webs.

So we forgot to mention the part where Christians like like she knows Spatio app party. There was like penis strollers, but like this Spatio app party stopsy plan. So it's amazing. We get a murder house. They have that montage riveting. Riveting. But every time they stopped it in another room, he's like, well, and then somebody got murdered here. And Kristen's like, yeah, and that guy probably cheated, right? Did he get his nuts cut off? Jumped in, it's broke. Seriously, seriously, seriously, cheating, right? Did he take an Uber and someone found out on their cell phone? Okay, Chris. You're hit middle, little hard, Chris,

then, okay. Me loves the biggest cheater of the world. Yeah, top sandable previews like like she cheated on me twice in one weekend. I mean, in your own home with your best like come on, man, lady. But Christians, Christians defense is always the same. She's like, yo, but like I'm just denying it. When he's in the elevator and he's like trying to push the button and he's like, you need 10 years of therapy, you need 10 years to therapy, don't he? He's like trying to push like the doors and closing. It's not going anywhere. I feel so sorry for Tom. Yeah. And Carter's trying to like get in the elevator too.

He's like, no, man, not tonight Carter, not this average. Okay, Carter, you come in, but not you, don't you? Okay, Carter, you get out now. All right, Carter, come back in, but don't you come in and think get out? Yeah, like, shut the fucking doors. He's like pushing her out. And what is this, and she's wearing some kind of like configuration? And like, is that a shirt? Is it a paper machine? They're all wearing some sort of weird,

kind of like, vest short situation. It was strange. White tops, white shorts. I didn't really understand what was going on. At one point, I thought Katie was wearing a full baptism outfit. Like that a baby. She was. That was like an Italian baptism, totally.

Like what? No fuck was going on there. There was a toilet. Yeah, got a toa. Got a toa. That was like a real housewives of New Jersey baptism, christen out fit or whatever. For real, exactly. Chris and it.

Yes. You got to wear nostrils. Just for it. Well, the real key for me was at the very end. So they're fighting. You know, they're fighting in the room. They get up to the room. The stand of all is yelling. He's has taken the wig off. Tom Schwartz yelling. Goes in the room. They get up to the room. The sand of all's yelling. He's

has taken the wig off. Tom Schwartz yelling goes in the room slams the door. The preview. This is the preview for next week. Tom sand of all then starts crying again. You can see he's so upset. He's so upset man. He's dying inside his crying. He's so upset. And then he kicks the door open. And Tom Schwartz is sitting on the bed I think or the bathroom. I don't know. I think taking a poo. Any smiling, any fucking on his phone. Like if that was the fact that they let they kept that in. I don't know why they kept that in because that motherfucker was not sad. He said he's like the best life, bro. Like my poop. Can I please, babe?

Well, also something super shady was when Schwartz was telling us in his interview He's like, I'm almost positive. We do not have sex. I was like, oh, that's a fun little loophole You left in there for yourself Yeah, I woke up with her, but I don't think I had sex I think Number one called it. He's like Katie's just Chris is just doing this to make Katie look like less of an asshole this season, which is totally true. Cause Christian and Stasi and Katie have this thing where they're like, whatever happens, we are unbreakable. So like Christian even started that fight with Tom. She's like, look Tom, I'm going to be so straight up

with you straight up with Stasi. You can check it out on iTunes wherever you get your other podcasts Really the president is really She used to do that a lot that she stopped doing it this season Is he was that nerve damage from her accident was is it the new veneers or is it, I couldn't tell, there's something weird going on with her face and the interviews. I think it's just too much modeling, man. When you've been in for that camera too long,

you just start getting those weird ticks. When you're at work. An in-demand model like Kristen Doody. Doody. I like Doody better. Doody makes me think of Doody Fieh Ed, which was like Princess Diana. That makes me think of crashing an eternal. I don't know.

It doesn't give me good feelings, but duty I like. We will work for that. We'll work for that. We'll work for that. What else here? So they were fighting in Jackson in the room. Britain is like, I want to go out there and say they're yelling at each other. And he's like, you don't want to go out there.

It's a junior war that I started. We're staying in here. What do you think's going to happen with Carter? Because Carter really is overstepping. Now he's fighting with them. And Tom, Tom, too, it's like, your girlfriend's a fucking bitch. Call from hell. Well, I guess he's going to try and be a cast regular next season is what he's trying to do.

I don't think he has it in him. He's just not a big personality, you know. Yeah, he saved her so far. She had nothing to offer this season. Well, did she? No, and I think that that's why suddenly she's doing all of this to get attention because it's like the end of the season. And she hasn't done shit and her boyfriend doesn't speak. They're gonna make a break up with him. Oh really and like and then go and like fuck Tom Schwartz or something. Yeah, she'll do it. You know she'll just be like what's my suggestion? I mean you want to fuck your ex again. Okay, I'm in. Yes, I have. I mean. You want to fuck your ex again? Okay, I'm in

She got she got she got the golden man. She got so lucky because she was definitely about to get the fucking boot Yeah, right, you know, yeah, I think she was I don't think that they would ever boot she not because she's she was the first one And this she was like the original like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. The one she broke all over too. Okay, so I read an article though, like it was actually released that she was about to get fired

before they were going to, she said that they were going to have her back. But she did the art, she did the interview. And yeah, that they were, you know, and then after she like left her whatever that they, they are now because they have, I think they're filming during all of that. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Well, Sina is, I, I can't believe I almost said she's the smartest one, but she is the smartest one, I think, because I almost said she was the smartest one, but she is the smartest one, I think, because she still lives in some shit apartment with, you know, popcorn ceilings in the valley.

I don't even know where that apartment is, but that's a pretty shitty apartment. Like she's the only one who's not like, I'm gonna upgrade my apartment and get a lighter car. I'm gonna drive a Honda Accord instead of Honda Civic. You know, there are all things like poor people upgrades. You know, when poor people win like $100 and they're like, I'm putting a down payment on the gigantic TV. Yeah.

She's the only one that did do that. Yes. So I think she's saving her money. Yeah, we like Shina in her life. She's our favorite. Yeah, she seems like a sweetheart. Actually, she wants us my waitress, or, and she was a really good waitress.

She was like attentive. Yeah, she was good. We've been in her house that she's the best. She's Lisa's favorite and Lisa that she's the best employee. But she does that thing that I hate that waiters do when they go. Highlightings, are we ready? No more. I hate when they we everything. Like, are we ready? Don't want that. I hate when they we everything.

Like this is not a week. I hate when they sit down. Yeah. Oh, I hate you. They do that in Texas so much. That's like a thing in Texas and I cannot handle it. Yeah, I do it. I used to do it waiting tables if people were like me and me

or cold to me. I'd be like, hi, I put on my tech attack. And I'd be like, guys on my ticket to the back of the party to you what do you think about that stupid typical anyway that's where you learned it

learned it cracker barrel girl cracker cracker L.A. did you know that I don't think that'll try it yeah well I think that brings us to the end of of the show I mean it's a cliffhanger which is basically

short saying he doesn't want to get married to Katie anymore, which we know doesn't, you know, their marriage. Forget it. Come on, guys. I was left in suspense. I'm not sure if the pictures on Instagram were real. I thought those might have been staged, and I kind of hope they worked. I didn't really like her wedding dress. Well, there's two important things that happened with Katie before we sign off. One Katie was like, that happened like forever ago about the

cheating when they finally tell her about it. And Stasi's like, what? I never even heard about that. I'm like, is she? Yeah. Um, and then wait, wait, did she see them all looking at her? Like, didn't you watch the show? You not on that season on that season? She, no, she, well, she, she, she came on like halfway through, right? Yeah. season. On that season? She knows. Well, she's semi. She came on halfway through, right? Yeah. Or that was the season.

That last year? I think it was last year. No, it wasn't the year that we did the after show, which was last year. It was the year before that. So it was the year where her and Katie weren't talking. Remember, at least, like, we're so pretty in that scene. And Lisa's like, you've got your, you've got to be friends.

I mean, you have this age old friendship. And she's there. And she just got engaged. And then, and in Lisa's like, you've got to be friends. I mean, you have this age old friendship and she's there and she just got engaged and then and then she's like, no, you control everyone and she storms out of sir. Oh, that was that season. Yeah. Oh, so Scotty's like, I'm not watching that show. I'm not on it. I'm concentrating on my statement necklace line. Exactly.

Exactly. But this episode ended with a very important bit of wisdom from Katie. She's like, like, Kristen had good intentions when she brought this up, but you can't put toothpaste back in the tube. It's like, um, that is a good point. When you can't get it off of black jeans, because I just took it to the right thing. That is also Stop. I'm like, I just took it to the right place. That is also true. She's like, I just took the color out. I was like, bitch, put them back there,

put them coming up on it, give back to me. Ha ha ha dumb gay politics on iTunes and tell them where to follow you guys again. Um, at Mr. Julie Goldman. And I'm at the Brandy Howard. You guys come to our podcast. Yeah. If you aren't scared to talk about politics. Yeah. Oh, I'm not afraid.

Not all right. Oh, good. All right. We'll look it up. Also, when are you guys going to start shooting people's couch again? God, when they'll freeze us over. I mean, like, maybe March.

We're just we've heard March, but you know, we're always the last to know anything on the whole world. Like they'll call us to leave before and be like, I hope no one's like working or on vacation. I was like, I have 10, stand a quality date. I'm like, we'll canceling a fucking horror. Well, if you ever need a little K-Bestie to drink our keenies with you on the couch, call me Batch.

OK, Batch. Love you guys. Love you guys. We'll talk again later. Bye. Bye. Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening to the podcast today.

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crappens. You can also check out me and Ronnie on both platforms. Ronnie is at Ronnie Karam on both Instagram and Twitter and I'm at B-side blog on Instagram and Twitter. Really, thank you guys so much. We really mean it. We appreciate the support and even if you do none of those things, we're just happy you're listening. Thanks. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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