Watch What Crappens - #398 RHOA & Married2Med: Closet Wars
Episode Date: February 23, 2017Timestamps below! Who’s the biggest lesbian of The Real Housewives of Atlanta? And will Heavenly ever get an apology for being called an alcoholic on Married to Medicine? We have no idea, b...ut we’re really enjoying the journey. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com Timestamps: 0 Chatter and RHOA 51:10 Crappens Mailbag 1:12:25 Married to Medicine Reunion Part One See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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Hello and welcome to the Watch What Cropins podcast.
The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on you, yo, bros.
I'm Ronnie Caron from Trash Talk TV, the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, and the Real House
wives of Beverly Hills audiobooks on iTunes.
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Oh, that picture, my Skype picture is like really
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Your eyes are boring into my soul from Skype.
Good to see more pictures of me and Ronnie,
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Everyone should follow our Instagram page.
It's, or account, it's, watch what happens.
As simple as that, come follow us,
be part of our movement.
That is the simple of that, guys.
Totally.
It's all about, It's all about that.
So everybody, welcome to today's show.
We're going to be talking about the Mary-Dometerson reunion.
And real housewives of Atlanta.
Yes, what an explosive episode.
Thank you for being patient, waiting till Thursday
to listen to this episode.
We're changing around our schedule a little bit. So thank you for
bearing with us. We hope that we just, I don't know what we hope for. You know, I just, I went
off of that. Yeah, we just have hope. I went off on a Saturday. I didn't know how to complete it.
We're running for office. Like we're not going to be specific. Just have general hope.
We hope that you were able to pass the time by getting
your pussy's even out as well. Okay. I started my notes on this episode by saying, who's
it? How can they talk that? That's what I wrote. And they did. They did. They shockingly
did. You have to hand it to the real housewives of Atlanta. I mean, they just, they break
down so many barriers.
I don't think we've ever had a pussy fight like this.
Not like this.
Not like this.
I mean, we've had situations where there are lesbian rumors.
There's been some, you know,
cunnelingus rumors we even saw it as recently
as on Vanderpuff rules at the start of that season
where Jack's was spreading rumors
about his own girlfriend going down on Kristen or maybe he was the other way around.
But never have we seen people involving themselves in rumors and having a head-to-head confrontation
over who wants to eat out who's pussy first.
So in other words, well done real housewives of Atlanta.
Well done.
Basically, if you have kids nearby, earmuffs,
emphasis, emphasis on muffs.
Yeah.
Who wanna eat my earmuffs?
And by the way, if you go to our Instagram page, we have a clip of that seminal scene on the page right now.
Please tell me you want to eat my f*** till I get it.
I don't want to eat you.
You want to f*** it.
You say I...
Who want to eat your motherf***ing pussy?
I just like that music meeting.
They're like, okay, this is the big pussy moment.
We need something
special. They're like, can we just use the dong to dong dong to no no no, needs to be special.
Preferably like feet stamping and hands clapping like pussy. Okay. And because pussy you've
ever seen in your life, we want that clapping. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Yes. And let's make sure, by the way, let's make sure we juxtapose candy's pussy
eating controversy with Riley's big moment, uh, singing in the debut for single. Let's
make sure that Riley and Candy both get their moments together and stop tapping your desk.
God damn it. Sorry. Oh my god. Why is my month? I'm gonna get you a desk pillow.
That's so sweet.
It's so nice.
So nice.
I give it to you almost as well as Porsche offered to give it to Candy.
Yes.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
All right. Well, let's get on with her. Shall we?
Yeah. So the episode starts.
We're still in the glamping trip. so the episode starts. We're still in the
glamping trip, like a little bit. They're all in the forest. And Candy is annoyed
from the previous nice who said that? Who said that? Who said that?
So she's like, see? No, really? Give me a car now, rally. So I can drive home on my own.
So she's driving home from clamping in her own car and she takes Hazel with her.
And you could sort of see the sadness and heal his eyes.
She's like, but I want to be on the bus with all the ladies and the cameras.
So I can have a moment.
Say no, Hazel, come a little.
But I wanted another chance to say what I'm gonna ask,
Axe Marlow.
Hazel's only thing, like Hazel,
you have just been too out of control this trip
when you take you home in your own car.
I mean, you will just not shut up
unless you are isolated from the group.
But who's Marlow and what should I ask her?
Hazel, get on, get in the car, Hazel.
Get in the car.
Well, I guess Nag would be a really good time for me to share something deeply personal
about myself.
I've never told anyone this, but it looks like it's just like it's just someone else.
Anyway, she's like, Marlow, can I ask you something?
What do they keep cutting away from me? No, not the mile I'll give you a hug honey.
Well, I was like, did you hear rustling in the trees?
What was that noise over there?
I think it was Hazel.
No, I think it was a, I think it was a quail.
So, Siree, they've now named, Paray, Paray.
They've now named Siree the bone collector. They've now named Saray the bone collector.
Which, she's actually wearing with pride.
Yes.
She's like, well, as a bone collector,
I'm still digging for bones.
Wait, they didn't admit it.
Because if that was my friend.
You're born.
You're born.
If that was my friend, if that was me and my best friend,
no doubt my best friend would have tried to save me.
I'm like, really, who is this best friend?
And why have we never seen her after all these years on this show?
Because you don't have one.
Because you keep doing shit like this, Shere.
I know her best friend is America.
That's who her best friend is.
Because I think all of America loves Shere.
How to do?
I loved also when Candy was leading with Hazel.
Cynthia had a really good singer.
She's like, you know, if any of the ladies in this group
are that upset about anything and you decide
you just wanna leave and walk away from the situation,
then I say, please leave and just walk away from the situation.
Oh, good ones Cynthia, good one.
Yeah, glad you're still here.
Here's what I always say.
If you've got an attitude and you want to walk away, then I say, you walk away.
Well, like, come on, Cynthia, you're not even putting on a new wig to say that.
Like, at least usually she's like, I'm going to say this in a rubber McDonald breaded wig.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Red wig.
Like, she didn't even pull out a new wig for that. Come on, Cynthia, you're
slipping. So they all drive home in the bus and they're all kind of like laughing about the
lesbian stuff, the last last night and talking about how the poor show was like, who said
that? Who said that? And then it turns out that she was the one at the butt of all the
rumors. But then what I loved is that after that bus scene, they show a shot of Cynthia
struggling to get down her driveway with her luggage. It's like, damn, I was like, you
even have to copy Kenya's driveway bit? Like that's, come on now, Cynthia.
Right. Before she tries to take meanies, I'm taking my husband back storyline. Yeah. So
sad. I also like on that bus that porches just laughing. She's
saying, I was like, who's that? And then I remember, but I had to stick with it.
And Kenya is loving porches suddenly. Did you notice that?
Can you just laughing? If she's like, you are hilarious girl.
It's like, well, nothing to make a friendship work on this show by focusing the hate somewhere
else.
Well, it's funny because on this show, it's always really hard to track who is friends
with who at what time.
I mean, it's almost like there was a season of survivor a few seasons ago when they talked
about they're always voting in blocks.
They didn't have alliances.
They just had voting blocks that would shift every week.
And that's what this episode this show is
You know any at any given moment, you know right now we know that phadra and candy or at odds But we don't really know where anyone else stands. They're always fighting with each other and and it just changes from week to week
Yeah, and they go hard on each other and then they're like, okay, I forgive you
Yeah, let's go not eat lunch somewhere
I've never seen a housewife show where they don't eat lunch as much as these people
They always go to lunch and they never eat and they bring their own shit to lunch like Porsche brought her own water bottle
Which we'll get to but then you never even get to see them eat well candy candy does candy's like see no
I got my lunch today because It's gonna be hungry later and I got to have my lunch today, because really,
it's gonna be hungry later,
and I wanna have four times.
Oh, see?
No, really, gonna be.
See it?
Oh, glad I'm hungry now.
I got to have lunch.
So Cynthia's house.
So she rolls her suitcase down the hill
and she's like, guys,
there was no cell phones or internet or clean water
and no else like bored.
So they start talking, she starts telling them
about the lesbian stuff and she's like,
her friend is over and she's like,
well, what's the definition of lesbian?
She goes, wait, who was that?
Is Cynthia's assistant.
Oh, she goes, well, what's the definition of lesbian
and Cynthia goes, well, God, after we got into it,
I'm a lesbian.
I mean, the way these ladies are making it sound like
if you've even experimented one time, you're a lesbian.
And the world's like, what?
Yeah, it's like, you know, I think the definition is
where you've been, like, when you've kissed a woman
or where a woman has kissed you, I think that's a definition.
And I think it also includes if you've kissed someone who looks a lot like Papa Smurf.
I think that makes you a lesbian. Oh, I'm sorry, that's what turns you into a lesbian, never mind.
She's like taking folders labels and pasting them, you know, pasting Peter's face on.
That's what lesbians do. That's what I learned today. I'm like, you've learned nothing today Cynthia.
Noelle is skived out. She's like, I can't believe I have to have this conversation with my mother on national television right now
And why do we she's like another thing mother? Why do the chirons keep referring to this as Cynthia's lake house? It's just your house
Just your house just say Cynthia's house Cynthia's house
Cynthia's lake house
Probably just so charade will be scared every time she sees it.
That dirty. That house has yeast infection. I'm going in the house. They got flood in the back yard.
You see that? That's a big old flood. That's a lake Shere. You got like, you got flood, you got pipes.
And the countdown begins for Shere to call that house a yeast infected. Hello.
Swamp. So candy factory. Um, they pretend they're talking about
working stuff. I'm tall. Yeah. Hey, babe. Yeah. Hey, welcome back, babe. Whoa. Hey, babe. Okay.
Sorry. I guess I have to get in that chair that makes me look smaller. Okay. And so he's there.
Because whenever there is some kind of big news, they need a squished up shocked face for they just call Kwame.
They're like the lunches here.
He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, that's what his face is saying.
Oh, I love Kwame.
Kwame is my favorite.
I'm always like shocked and disgusted at the same time.
Well, because I feel like he is the only one outside of Candy
who actually like can be a professional work.
And so he's always like shocked when something's just like ridiculous is happening at the workplace.
But he started that way.
She's like, we'll see.
Hi, everybody.
He's like,
he's like,
she's like, see, no,
me.
In.
Yeah, I think we're going with Ryan while we have a me.
Did see now.
Time to talk talk we was at
Glamp big and
nature was quiet
But can't you telling them telling them the story and just going off and she's like I do not have to defend my sexuality
I talk sex on the internet. I have an adoyed adult toy line. Hello
Yeah I have an adult toy line. Hello. Yeah.
So Candy then, Candy's like sitting there.
That everyone's, you know, Don Juan and Carmen are like, okay, this is getting interesting.
And Candy's like, Candy was the one who's like, see, now, push, it's pretty.
I can only do it with Riley.
I can't do push, Ih. Say it now. Really?
Go get Borsh, because Borsh and I, we went down on each other and Todd was there and everyone's like, whoa.
Wait, did she say that?
She said that so she said that there wasn't, you know, that they're that that like she and
I don't know if they actually went I think they went down each other but she just said I've had my own experience with her Todd and
Todd was like I was there. Oh yeah. And she said it was an after-hour spot and Portia was
in front of her and Todd was behind her and then she started making out with her and then
she said and Carmen's like did you seek your tongue out like Christop and can's like, did you seek your tongue out? Like, grist out. And can be like, yes. And then she say she wanted to
eat me out until I came and they're like, wow. I mean, I
would be like that too. Because you know, I mean, I mean, you
have to, I mean, like candy is basically
fully implicating yourself in this thing. It's like, okay, well, there's a rumor about
me than fine, but now you're gonna get the full story because I don't care about this
rumor, but now I'm gonna drag Porsche into it. And, and I love when candy is like, ain't
not that about me in the closet. You may be in the closet, and that's a weak, dude,
discarst. And it's like, I just love it.
It's like, oh, can you just took this rumor and it turns it around and put it straight
on you.
And then here's why Todd loves candy the most.
Like he gets some loves being action in his club.
Money?
Oh, what?
Yeah.
I said money, but go on.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I'm sure she paid for it, but yeah, see, they go to this club, they get freaky
with Porsche and then he goes.
And then after remember we went to the waffle house.
Well, I love when Don Juan's like, poor, I'm sure,
Porsche was like, well, I can't eat what I really want to eat.
So I guess that must will have this waffle.
That maybe left. That was the funniest thing Don Juan has ever said.
So funny. Now, just a lesson to housewives out there.
This is why you don't go to the map for your girls because the whole conversation,
yes, Portia did say things. She's guilty.
But this started with Fadre.
Yeah. Like Fadre was really the villain
in this one. And Portia didn't even say anything. I mean, she kind of did.
Well, she did.
She was like, well, Pedro is there. But she didn't really lay it on
Pedro. Well, she could have. She could have. And and she also, Portia did make that
comment about candy being in the closet. So, you know, she did, she, she, she's still
muddy. It wasn't all phadre but that being said
I mean phadre did escape Scott clean for now the reunion will tell a different story. Yeah, so Cynthia and Kenya go
Kenya is getting with absolutely work done on Cynthia
Right snatch factory. I wrote down. Yeah, not with Dr. Curbs unfortunately
Yeah, this is like doctor., you know, snail bottoms
or whatever. So they go in there to get Cynthia rejuvenated. And that's, that's exciting.
Can we just get that part? I did laugh when Cynthia said that she was a fridge or gasoline
every time she has speed bump. A lot of, a lot of, a lot of vaginal stuff happening this episode.
And no, she don't say or she's the lady said you're going to be juicy or
well, right.
Well, that's I was like, I, but I thought that Cynthia was basically be like,
either way, I just like the idea that every time Cynthia hit a speed bump,
something was going to happen down there.
I like when Kenya was like, no, I haven't had this.
I'm a young woman with no children and few lovers.
Like you.
I think she said that last part though,
it was like a wink.
Cynthia, I like when they shot the laser into Cynthia's badge
and then the editors just cut to flowers and butterfly,
like flowers blooming on butterflies spreading their wings.
That was a nice touch.
That was very reminiscent of naked gun two and a half.
One Frank Drabman has sex with Priscilla Presley.
And they cut to like a train going into a tunnel and flowers
and some of the things.
Farmer tapping the table.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
I'm not. You know what's funny? I'm just
doing you hear this? You hear this right here? Yes. That's insane. I
don't even hear it right here. Oh my goodness. I got to find a
towel or something. Got to find something on the only one.
This is a perfect scene to go find a towel.
So let's see. Fager tries up. Okay, now this show just goes crazy. I don't
know what I know what you're going to talk about. This was made no sense. So Fager drives
up to her lawyer's office and they're playing some songs like, and Fager comes out. And then it's a really long shot of Fadre walking in slow motion.
What the f**k?
It was like a John Wu movie.
I was expecting some dubs to come out and maybe Fadre to take out like a giant shotgun
or something like that.
I was like, what is happening?
It's like this big slow motion moment of Fadre.
You know, when you have a big slow-mo entrance,
it's like you're about to do something really empowering and strong.
And then she just shows up at Ronnie Kaplan's office,
but divorce.
Ronnie Kaplan, family law.
Accidentize, divorce, whatever.
I'm Ronnie Kaplan.
I'm Ronnie Kaplan.
Look, I put up a giant banner that says Kaplan family lost you can see it on TV
So she comes all the way there for the lawyer to be like I just wanted you to know your da voice is
Final and Pedro puts a clean next on her eye. I'm like you got a bigger coming out of there because I know I yeah
There was no tear coming you can't do a preemptive swipe.
OK, you got to wait for the tears to come first.
You're trying to keep your colored contact in there.
What?
Because that is not a tear, lady.
So many emotions.
I cappled family law.
What used to it?
Yeah, I know it's been a tough road,
but now it's time for you to focus on life post-avos. Look, what do you think she's been doing for the past six years?
She's literally dating someone named chocolate.
How much? How much more laser focus do you need? Okay.
Have you seen this one's I call?
She's got so much laser focus. She could rejuvenate Cynthia's vagina.
She's got so much laser focus she could rejuvenate Cynthia's vagina.
She's got so much laser focus Cynthia just went over a speed bump and splooge the car seat.
So yeah, Pedro pulls her. Well, I've been with Apollo for I've known him for 22 years and it's very important to me that the children see Apollo and
I'll go telling myself because I would hate for him to have to hear my yes, Pedro. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. We all believe you
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then we have like a montage of remember the happier days when the phage rain Apollo were taking photos
Eating the same pickle.
It's like, yes, those were the days.
Remember the pickle sex picks.
And then that time Apollo ran throughout the house with a male gun threatening to
threaten me.
But we sort of did mine to a door or whatever.
But we sort of didn't mine because it sort of made him sexier because he's really been
the sexiest person who's ever shown up on the housewives.
I know.
He sure did get ugly towards the end though.
Yeah.
Because I think, you know,
running around with a screw gun
makes you, I don't know, just aggressively.
It just made it a little too aggro.
A little too lifetime of theish.
Like, I like, I like a pause aggression
when it's kind of just like an untamed animal
at a pajama party going after the local gay.
Yes. That's like a little bit animal at a pajama party going after the local gay.
Yes.
That's like a little bit more like a classic, you know, porn storyline.
It's not funny to think he's getting so many gay blow jobs right now.
So many.
He must be thinking that he must be like, wow, have a taz tanz.
I mean, he's probably just like running that prison right now. It just like everyone's lining up, bending over, getting on their knees for a
Apollo. And you know what?
I don't blame those prisoners. He's really hot.
No kidding. Hopefully he's versatile. So then, Pedro leaves in slow motion. The slow
motion thing was super weird. I wish they had Kaplan standing there like, you can see
me, Ronnie Kaplan on the season of the good fight.
PS, the good fight is really good. People are saying it's amazing.
My parents literally bought an Apple TV
somewhere they could watch the good fight.
Of course, it's not even hooked up,
and they're still very confused about the whole process,
but it's still motivated them to get an Apple TV.
The good fight is the good wife without Juliana Margulese,
but it's so good.
I miss the good wife. I love that show.
But don't you have to have a subscription to CBS All Access wife without Juliana Margulies, but it's so good. I miss the good wife. I love that show.
But don't you have to have a subscription to CBS all access to watch the good fight,
or do you not have to? Well, they showed the first one on regular TV. Really? Yeah, just
to get people hooked. And then they're going to start showing it online now. So yeah,
you have to from now on, but I do and that. I'll catch it when it's, I don't know, sold
because I heard that when you buy the CBS online thing, you start to from now on, but I do and that. I'll catch it when it's, I don't know, sold. Cause I heard that when you buy the CBS online thing,
you start off to sit through commercials.
So what's the point?
I mean, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's,
that's, I think that's, I think that's,
I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, I think that's, y'all know I'm a big big brother fan And if I'm not even watching a season of big brother
Then you know there's a problem with their system. Yeah, I'm not a fan of the idea of all the networks
Just going digital and you can pay four dollars or whatever for the networks
But they have to do it like DVR where you can fast forward through it or not like it should be your choice
Whether or not you're gonna sit there sometimes you have commercials playing while you're cleaning the kitchen, you know, I shouldn't
be forced to watch your damn commercials.
No, I'm not going to do it.
If you're paying a subscription, you should not have to pay for commercials.
I agree.
You guys can suck a dick.
And until this, they want to hire us to buy it without commercials, I will just watch
the ref over and over again, because that's my favorite Christine Bransky anyway.
I don't know what my favorite Christine Bransky is.
I mean, I did enjoy. She was in the bird cage wasn't she.
She was really great in that. I seem to remember.
Yeah, she's been in so many movies.
The rest is my favorite.
My favorite is, um,
BoFinger. That's one of my favorite movies.
And Christine Bransky is so funny in that one.
BoFinger. I think we've talked about Bofinger. It's with Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy.
It's a movie where Steve Martin is like the shitty
director and he gets financing for his movie by saying that Eddie Murphy's character is plays basically Eddie Murphy
like a huge superstar and he lies and he says that Eddie Murphy is attached to his movie and
star and he lies and he says that Eddie Murphy is attached to his movie and so what they decide to do is a film the movie with like around Eddie Murphy without him realizing he's
in the movie so they like they like have the actors walk up to him and say things to him
while he's like sitting at a restaurant eating and so Christine Baransky plays an actress who's like
a Thessian who's who Shakespeare has studied the Royal Shakespeare
theater but not really she's actually a shitty actress who likes to think of herself like that.
And so she's like walking up it's as alien the plot of Steve Martin's movie is this alien movie
and she like walks up to Amy Murphy and get paid. She just says something and he's like like you I want to
like you an awful man awful man she throws water on face. And it's just like, I'm doing a terrible disservice
to the movie, because I haven't seen it in like 15 years,
but it is such a funny movie.
And Heather Graham plays the woman
who just like sleeps her way to the top.
It's great.
Yeah, where'd Heather Graham go?
I don't know.
She should do both fingers.
She never leaves me.
Never leave me.
Never of her.
I want to watch both fingers.
It's so good.
I'm going to watch it again. OK. I'm looking at my next. So speaking watch both finger. It's so good. I'm gonna watch it again. Um
Okay Yeah, looking at my next so speaking of uh speaking of both of your
entertainment industry speaking of drinking somebody into being into in
something let's go see Riley. So we you know we love Riley we're
we're some of Riley's biggest fans um and we know that she's wanted to be a
singer for a few years now. County built a little stage in her bedroom
and um this is Riley's big moment.
Her first, like she's gonna go sing a song in the studio.
And Candy's written a song where she's taking
a lot of those emotions from Riley and Block
and all that stuff.
And we can see Riley is nervous and shy.
She's like, I don't wanna do it anymore.
But Candy's like, like, see? No,
right. So Riley gets in there. And I mean, I mean, how do we say it? I mean, how do we
break the news to America? How do we, this lovely sweet 14 year old girl? How do we break
the news that maybe there are other careers
out there from?
First of all, she looks so bored.
She looks, I've never seen someone look so bored.
I mean, we've seen a lot of reality shows where people want to be singers.
They get in the booth and they like try to be singers.
And even if they don't sound great, they at least like try, but rather it was like,
you didn't call, you didn't say you didn't come see me. I was like, Riley, come on. And he's like
That was not really, I mean Riley was definitely like, dad
You're my dad
Am I done yet mom?
Riley. Damn.
I was like, can they work a sigh into this song because the song needs Riley's
size. It's making the whole song.
Yeah, I would actually just be fine with a remix of her size.
Like,
but then they, they play it back and she sounded a lot better on playback in her
defense. And also she was just learning it
So maybe it turned out really good. You posted it on our Facebook. What did it sound like?
Still that I
Mean I can I can bring it up here on iTunes. It's just let me go find it on iTunes
I'm gonna find it's like Riley
Burr us two hours to us is I think right?
Yeah, yeah, this is two hours to us, is that I think, right? Um, yeah, uh, Brad, I burr us.
Dan, you forgot my birthday, dad.
Listen, she is a young, beautiful girl on the path to something great, but I don't
know if her path has gotten to that place yet.
So here's so this is like a TV show. So she's embarrassed and she doesn't want to be shot.
She feels stupid. It's like when your mom at a dinner party is like sing.
I need like yeah, everyone wants to hear me sing like Liza Monelli and you're fucking junior league dinner party.
Like God, mom, but you use it.
And then here's a clip of better late than ever. I'm pressing play from the iTunes store.
I'll be around.
You wanna hear me hold you expecting me to show you love.
You wanna pick up right back where we loved all.
But we never started.
That's what this whole thing just brought me out.
I filled up a break while.
It'll be hard to tear down.
Tone that to your apologies.
I see you see I don't hear you now That inconsistent bump, I don't want that
I ain't see you, it's alone, you a throwback
You still ashamed to me
Hey, it's so much anger with me
Hey, how you gonna pop up when I got my block up
Is it the grubber reality?
Mama always say it's better than it's never
God, I give this a much less before
But I can let you never
It's what they say I always say it's better like the never God I give this a much less before
than you'd ever ever
This is what they say
This is what they say
So I guess I have to forget ya
Even though you missed my birthday
I'm forgiven you, I've been all you've heard me
I can't tell you more I thought much better than it did on the show though. It did sound better, but um.
Look, you're no more less a gorgah. Anyway, the good news is the song, I think it's
selling nicely. I love you, Riley. We love you, Riley. And that's all we have to say about it.
You know what? I'll continue not buying them, but I love you the same We love you Riley and that's all we have to say about it. You know what I'll continue not buying them
But I love you the same girl. I am for the good wife girl. Yeah, you know what
Each their own and it's she's doing you know what
We're just happy for if Riley's happy we're happy if Riley is happy
They're down the wall
So now porches in the attic.
I want to see with my brother.
They need a good flowers in the attic with porches. The star.
My sister tried to eat my pussy. Whoa.
Uh, it's to be more subtle. Okay.
There's a team book.
Yeah. So, uh, yeah,
it's phage was visiting, um, uh,
Portia's new home, which looks exactly like her last home,
which looks exactly like the home before that and the one before that.
They just all look the same.
I don't even know why we need to have like a little crib style moment where the
camera goes up the stairs like, ooh,
and there's what the staircase looks like. It's all the same. I don't even know why we need to have like a little crib style moment where the camera goes up the stairs like, ooh, and there's what the staircase
looks like. It's all the same.
They're all designed by the same person who dreams of being in politics because all
of them are like huge columns and marble floors and ceilings like a mall with statue
west. What office did the mix?
The mix manager not win. But Yeah, trying to make up for now
City council Yeah, so we got a little like a small tour and then Fadre and
and Portia
They come in they sit down and they're talking Fadre has brought up Portia some Hennessy for her her housewarming gift and
Fadre was like who follows reaction
was not good to hear about the divorce.
I'm like what why how could it how could
it even be surprised that the divorce
is final I guess that was the point in the scene right
well he didn't want it so I think he thought
that he could stop it so he has a girlfriend
I know well that's a man for you. Yeah.
It's like, how dare you divorce me?
What am I going to tell my girlfriend?
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
I love that Fadre comes over and she's trying to do her sad Fadre thing, but she's
like, here's a drink girl.
Bleh!
Ah!
Yes!
Girl!
Ah!
Well, Apollo's very sad
Like you can't have it both ways Pedro okay. Yeah, you're not in slow motion right now. Oh
God, yeah, so they just sort of talked about that
And then let's see yeah, and then she goes she like, he's very upset. It's very upsetting.
I'm going to have to tell the children.
And then Portia's like, yeah, but it's going to be so good now.
Because you can start a new chapter, a dick chapter.
And she's like, oh, girl.
I'm going to be bouncing like a pogos, dick.
And then she does that gesture with like,
dicks all over her face.
I somehow feel like I missed this.
I think I was like looking at the right iron banister still.
Really?
It was so good.
The end of the scene is just fadred dancing around.
Like she's taking 20 Dix at a time.
I'm surprised ridiculous and just first in right then and there.
So it's about ridiculous.
We then go to Cynthia Bailey's office
for the, is the Cynthia Bailey Iwear slash cargo fashion show
planning meeting.
And Cynthia wants Cairo,
Sherea's son to walk in the show,
which I fully support.
And so Sherea comes in
and because Sherea's Cairo's momager, and I love that when Sheree comes in, and because Sheree is Kyra's momager,
and I love that when Sheree walks in
and Cynthia introduces Sheree to her business partner,
Sheree shakes his hand like a sailor.
She's like, well, how do you do?
And she's like, boom, boom, boom, boom.
You see the guys are like, arm-baths, like I'm breaking off.
So Cynthia explains to her.
She's like, well, we would, I love when Cynthia tries
to be all professional. She's like, as, we would, I love when Cynthia tries to be all professional.
She's like, as you might notice, I'm wearing glasses today.
What is transpired is we would like Cairo to walk
in the humongous carco show.
It's huge.
Biggest show in town.
And serious like, you got compensation?
She's like, no.
If there's one thing I've learned from Peter, it's that you swindle everyone around you. Yeah, exactly. She's like, no, there's no compensation. And serious, like, you ain't going to throw
these kids 500 on it? No, it's just you ain't going to throw these kids 100 dollar.
Since it feels like we can give them a backpack.
He's giving $100.
Sentience like we can give him the backpack.
But listen, the exposure is everything. Like we have this amazing venue.
It's under a highway next to a place
that Martin Luther King's dog once went to.
And it's in the former space of one of Peter's clubs.
So it's got like a really cool decrepit look.
Yeah, it smells like coffee in urine.
It's gonna be great. That's all the right. There's a squirrel. You'll love him
There's still a large picture of me as the background large fan pick of me
We'll give you VIP seating in the sinkhole
I'm sure he's like okay, well
Oh for a weekend because school is still very important to Cairo
Okay, well, I prefer weekend, because school is still very important to Cairo.
I'm like, okay.
That was like, I don't know, I don't know who is more
ridiculous in this situation.
The woman offering compensation,
the form of a book bag or a charay,
asking the fashion show to be moved,
that way her model's son could go to class.
Or a Cynthia's response.
Back in the day, I never would have called
Ralph Lorraine up and said, Ralph
Loran, that time doesn't work for me.
And I believe is a false equivalency. Is it not? That's you, man.
You're no Ralph Loran. Sorry. You're maybe like Ralphie from it's a Christmas story or what? You're maybe like Ralph as in vomit.
Like you've vomited on someone named Lauren.
Ralph.
You're basically like the dog playing piano.
Yeah.
Playing that shitty little homie-tonic piano.
Now he would work for a backpack.
He would.
He would.
Notice that.
You notice that no one ever really loves Ralph.
Like no one ever is like, oh, I need to have my like people have like their fuzzy bear toys and their
cirmids and their ganzos and this big even no one of yours like, oh, here's my a rolf.
Rolf always looks matted and dirty. He's not a bad guy.
There's no such thing as an ugly dog. Rolf. Yeah.
To not keep. Oh, not cute. You know, he actually to me is like one of the least charismatic
muppets out there.
I'll just say it because they just use him as a music player.
You know, they don't even let him ever do anything.
They're like, Ralph, what are you doing here?
Just sit behind the piano like you're supposed to.
You don't have any lines.
And he's like, yeah, okay.
At least be fun like Janice.
Yeah, what's his face or animal?
Yeah, are the one who gets to go. Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. He fun like Janice or what's his face or animal.
Yeah, or the one who gets to go.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
I'm like, whoever gets to play that instrument.
You know, those people who play instruments are fun.
Yeah, or the green guy with a little hat with his accent phone.
I mean, he's great in his silence.
And he's...
His steely silence.
He's so quiet.
I just wonder what he's thinking all the time.
Makes me attracted to him.
I know, like, Port porches thinking about Todd. Yeah.
I actually really like portion in Todd. I think maybe it's because Todd is so
cute. He's probably like a total asshole. But he's got such a cute smile.
And he's, he knows how to like play a woman. So therefore I'm just like, Oh,
Todd, I love you. He brings her, they go to lunch or something and he brings her a necklace gift.
Yeah.
And yeah, grain only in Atlanta could you name something grain.
You couldn't do that here.
People would be like, ew, not on a green diet.
I will not eat in a place called grain.
Are you trying to kill my children?
So he brings her a diamond necklace which is you know from Clair's he's unemployed but she's like
Well, he thinks he can win me over with diamonds.
Like those are not diamonds but keep on.
Yeah, it was gold. That's fine.
Uh, she's like, she's like, he can't do that.
I mean, yummy. He did win me over put diamonds but he still has to be a man bad like a diamond but I can't not
diamonds alone like what are you talking about Portia the waiter's like can I
take your order and she goes well he needs some truth serum like he'd never lie
to you he told you the truth your mouth is truth your mouth is lie the waiter
didn't miss a beat is like well
We do have an old fashioned
No, I want a mountain man. No, it's actually an even of a cocktail. Oh
Yeah, I want a little fashion man the country will pay my bills and pay for my house. It's like it's just a drink
We do have we do have a Tom Collins who's that is he cute?
Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasive.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling,
and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow Disantel wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder-Yah.
He played football!
Can we offer you a Harvey Wallbang?
Oh, he sound nice.
Are you snow girl like that when I was in jail one time overnight?
Maybe you would prefer to something simple like a screwdriver.
What?
I'm not going to be a nothing.
My girlfriend, drama's got killed that way. Oh. like a screwdriver. What? I'm not going to build anything.
My girlfriend, drama's got killed that way.
Oh.
You got water?
So they start having this relationship talk where Todd, like Todd just knows he's never
going to get a word in that twice, you know, whatever.
You'll just say whatever you need so this can be over and she's like, well, I didn't even want to be in a relationship.
Ty, when I looked you up on Facebook and forced you to come out with me
and give me a sperm to build a baby,
you sold me into it and I had a vision.
I'm like, I don't know what the hell a kind of strong woman monologue
you're coming onto right now,
but finding an ex on Facebook and trying to force sperm out of his nets to make a baby that he's probably gonna have
to support the rest of his life is kind of forcing a relationship
on some of Porsche.
Yeah, hello.
I like she's like, see the difference is I'm present
in the relationship.
I'm like just because you received a present doesn't mean
that you are a present.
I don't know where you are, but I got a diamond necklace in this relationship.
Actually, believe it or not, I did understand what Portia was saying, because she was basically like,
I didn't want anything serious, but then you started talking like you wanted to do something
serious. So I was like, okay, great. Then it's gonna be serious. So I started planning things out.
And now all of a sudden, you're like, don't have a job a job like you got fired and you're acting like you're taking some time off
No, you got fired. Yeah. Well, yeah, he's like well, you know, sometimes you just need a break and she's like a
Mama Joyce squeal moment and then she's like you do not need to chill a no break, man
And she's like y'all must finally, you need to be more mature.
You ain't some punk shit.
And then she starts going off and he's like,
I got you, I got you.
And she goes, I will be done with you before I be
go with your half-assignness.
It's like that's the biggest word.
Fatress ever, I mean, Portia's ever said,
Portia did well in this scene.
Good job, Portia.
She did. And then Todd basically just like smiled
his megawatt smile and like just gives her that look
and then they're just like making out.
And I'm just like, he's so dreamy.
Yeah, he really, really is.
He's really dreamy.
Cause he's one of those guys who's not just like attractive
but he just, you know, like a charming guy who just knows how to use
this ex appeal and just, he's like, sorry, and just like that smile and that like, sort
of that look.
And then just like, oh, man.
Yeah, they cheat on you every time.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Every time.
Every time.
Which is why the guy like that in a relationship that's not cheating.
And if one of you are married, you better start going through his eye cloud.
Okay, so Porsche. So now is candy and Porsche.
Yes, so this is the main event. The main event. So they meet at this, they meet for lunch.
They're outside and, of course, they have like a frosty introduction and report.
She's like, I'm on a two day cleanse. And then there's like this long pause and he's like,
well, that's good. Can't be gifted that face. She goes, yeah. That's the center face is making
one of her eyes is closed. One of her eyebrows is right rhythm all the way to our forehead.
Yeah, just like, see now we was on a cleanse together.
But so good.
There's like a full 30 seconds of candy just looking together like that and she goes,
well, that's good.
So Portia is like, oh it's good to see you. I've been trying to call you.
Candy's like, well, ah.
like, oh, it's good to see you. I've been trying to call you. Candy's like, well, uh,
Candy tries to start it. My she's like, well, I'm throwing off the other day
because when that lesbian thing came up, you were going so hard like,
and then they show the clip again, which is hilarious. Right. And then
Porsche does her usual thing. This is the new thing. Be like, well, I can't
remember every single thing I've ever said. I actually think that she,
that she's not lying in this case because she did do the who said that so aggressively.
Like, why would you even do that? You know, you'd be quiet like Fadre. If you, if you were the one
who started the rumor, and you just, I mean, I just, you just, I don't think, but when she said, when she said, well, I only intimated
the US lesbian, I didn't say you were. Whenever she said, um, I think she really believes
that. She's like, I've never said, can't he say lesbian? I just said, you like a pussy
of ladies. It's like porcelagic, you know, yeah, I just said you like a pussy of ladies. It's like porcelotic, you know.
I just said you like flannel.
I'm moving in with women and having sex with them.
I'm just gonna be in the girl girl, so I'm worth the after edge.
She's like, I can't remember every little conversation, can't I?
How would that statement carry away anyway?
How would it carry away?
Like, who's porcelain talking to to you because she's like talking kind of
lawyerly lately. Like she's talking about the box.
She's been on celebrity apprentice. Maybe she learned something
from boy George. I don't know. I don't even know who's on that
show except for the people who can't mention on the real
else.
So she's like, this is not about our problems. This is about our
team coming up with a good flavor
of ice cream for porky pork.
Okay.
So she's like, I can't remember everything.
And I don't even know why anyone would take it that way.
And Candy's like, well, how else is it supposed
to be taken?
And she goes, well, at first I didn't care about how you took it.
And I was like, oh no.
Portia's got some nuts on her because we've seen Portia go up against
people before and not back down. But I mean, can't
he's terrifying to me. I would not go up against
can't he? Yeah, I wouldn't either. And what's funny to
me is that, you know, I mean, she's being honest, you
saying, well, I was essentially saying I was, I was
mad. So I didn't care how you took it. But then Portia
does, you know, the classic thing that we've seen in reality shows and
politics, when you're caught, you just deflect onto something else.
And so Portia is like, well, you know, Candy, you've been telling everyone that that
block and I had sex, which has nothing to do with what they're talking about.
But so then Candy was like, well, you are the one who told me that you had sex with Block, so I don't see what the big deal is.
And then Candy starts talking about how she, like, I guess, so then Porsche is trying to
turn it around all on Candy, trying to put Candy in the defense, but every single time
it's just like, it's backfiring.
The Block thing backfires because Candy's like, like no you told me that you had sex with with block and then
Talking about candy's extracurriculars and candies like you know Todd and I've only had a threesome
Once and then Porsche's like, but don't you have a sex dungeon? I'm like this is like yours
I feel like Porsche is grasping at straws at this point
I love candy and candy's reaction is like see now
at this point. I love Candy's reaction. I was like, see? No. If I had a sixth dungeon, I would tell everybody because I think it's actually cool.
She goes, yes you did, yes you did. Check, you made that up. No, yes you did.
Yes you did. She's like, it's like when you was kissing me in a club and told me you wanted to eat my pussy till I came and she's like, what?
What are you doing?
You did you tried to tongue me down bitch
Where she goes what about you and that relationship you were in with a woman for seven years and candy goes
relationship you and with a woman for seven years and candy goes
Squeals it and because you want to up bra with me. I'm like what
No, by the way that Porsche
Porsche deflects from this lesbian thing by saying that candy was in a relationship. She's always pushing it on to Candy,
but Portia is trying to sneak out of it
by creating a new rumor.
Yeah, they're trying to find,
it's like the Dyke Wars of 2017, it's hilarious.
Like who's gay or so, Portia, Candy's like,
what are you talking about?
And she goes, well, if you don't know,
then I'll give you her info,
because she's telling people that I live in Atlanta, Candy.
Candy's like, I live in Atlanta. She's telling people that I live in Atlanta candy candy is like I live in Atlanta
She's like I live in Atlanta. I live in Atlanta too
It's like okay, and then is this turning into like a backyard worse now. It's like yeah stay on to stay on stay on
and then and then
Portia's just going she just keeps on like she's just piling on one claim after another.
What about back in the day when you were sleeping with other
Martin B groups?
She's like, now you're gonna tell me I was the one,
you, you're the, and a national, no, she's like,
you were the one being passed around by every group.
It's because bitch, you was a pass around.
Yeah, you was a pass around.
You wasn't in all those videos because you's cute.
And that's why she said that's how Korsha met Block
because some other rapper friend referred her,
not referred, it was based like, yeah, I banged her.
So she's like, see, now you're about surround.
Oh my God.
So she's like, well,
partially goes, well, maybe you should call Todd
and ask him about what he told the girl this weekend.
And tell him his name is Marvin, because that's his fake name that he used with girls in New York.
And now Portia has taken it from who's gayer to, you know, your husband is cheating on you with straight.
Well, she's just throwing anything at the wall right now.
She's just like you stuff around with R&B groups.
You've been a lesbian for seven years.
Todd has secret alien name Marvin,
hooking up with a woman in New York.
I miss like one thing after another.
It's like you caught the dinosaurs to go extinct.
You know where Amelia Earhart is.
You put a hole in the ozone layer, etc.
etc. and she goes, wow it's on the streets, probably on the same streets my
majority of things found so maybe you should clean up the streets and while you
added clean up the vlogs and she's like you why are you crazy?
She goes it's a fat bitch and she goes well that's bullshit but when I'm bullshit is that you said you want to eat my pussy
She goes I need a short and stout
It's like damn and she goes you better have those chicks you sleeping with signs of
NDAs which is another bravo plot light of the year. Yeah, and then candy's like
Another lunch. I don't even get the order. And she walks out and porcise.
Well, toodles bitch.
Well, I like when porcise was like,
did I eat your rot pussy hell no?
And it can be like, first of all,
this pussy tastes like sugar.
See?
No.
Sugar pussy.
This fight was so good.
I was dying laughing watching it. This show is crazy.
And then we also have to mention that in the middle of this man, I mean it was going so fast and furious.
I couldn't even follow at a certain point.
The producers just cut away to this one woman at the next table, being like,
what the hell is happening over there?
Oh my god. This is the best day to ever
come to Greens too. Oh my god this sounds so good. And now it's time for a little crap
in male bag. That was one of your best transitions of all time.
Just right to the point.
I'm going to stop.
I know these days guys.
So this has been a really boundable mail bag.
We're still going into the same mail bag that filled up back on January 31st.
Some of you guys have been so patient.
We're going to get to all these questions. Don't show worry. Don't show worry.
And just as a reminder, if you want to add a question to the mailbag, you just go to Patreon.
And you just have to subscribe at the mailbag level or hire. And you can have your question
right on the air. You can be like, DeLiz is a D who says, we have seen a lot of moms
on Vanderpump rules. I don't think we've seen Kristen's mom. What do you think it would
sound like if Kristen and James mom were to meet? That's an interesting question. First
of all, I hope Kristen's mom is alive before we go into this. If she's not apologies.
I feel like if anybody on a reality show has a dead mom, they say it like 30 times like
Well, I only do that because my mom died
Seriously, seriously, I can't we didn't know my mom said
No, it's terrible. So what?
Kristen's mom be like so basically if Kristen and James had stayed together and
They had had Thanksgiving together and the moms were there.
I'm adding, I'm adding onto the fanfiction here.
What would the moms be like?
Um, well, I think that the one mom would be like, why did all three of you go to the, um,
Kristen's mom would be like, what did you all three go to the bathroom together?
Uh, why are you all sniffing your noses?
And then James's mom would probably like, well thank you for inviting us over for dinner.
I'm sorry I didn't bring anything and then Kristen's mom would probably say something like,
seriously, seriously it's Thanksgiving. And then her mom would say, well, you're an alcoholic and you deserve to die anyway. Go.
Go.
Go.
I'd like to think it's easy.
Yeah.
Well, your problem is that you can never have children again.
I went through menopause already, so sorry, seriously,
seriously.
Well, you can't go back in a time machine, okay?
That's the bad news for you.
Well, the skitter has directed me just in case case you can never be too sure. Can you go?
She just sits on the turkey.
I hate this turkey stupid Pudgy mother face.
Take a good look at these Hawaiian roles. The last time you're going to see them.
Girl, it's the best you'll ever get.
Girl, those two mothers should be taken to some kind of court.
Yes.
And be stripped of their duties.
Now, we know that James' mom is terrible.
We don't know that Kristen's mom is terrible.
We do know that Kristen cannot stick to a dream of a t-shirt printing
business. I don't know if you blame your mother for that or who gets the blame
for that,
but I'm upset about it. Chris's mom may not be that bad because she's the only one who's
had sense to not show up on this show. I would show up on that show, but there's too
many Mercedes and Los Angeles and I can't help but see you get ravaged on one. Oh,
Christian. Seriously, seriously, I can't show up on your show because I'm
modeling in Michigan right now I can't believe I have a daughter who would make
love to somebody on top of a car in a parking lot oh I just imagine her
grandmother's probably like seriously seriously She's on life support. Beep. Beep. Seriously.
Beep.
Her heart beat just sounds like seriously.
Seriously?
It does that.
Seriously.
She's flat lining.
She's not questioning me.
She's not questioning how serious I am.
Okay.
Oh my god.
She said okay, not seriously. How serious was the heart attack doctor? Pretty serious I am. Okay. Oh my god, you said okay, not seriously.
How serious was the heart attack doctor?
Pretty serious.
Seriously, serious, serious.
Were she in critical condition or just in serious condition?
Critical, seriously?
Good.
Critically.
Oh, sorry.
So it's in there.
Everyone I had my Starbucks reward right
for this podcast.
And it was a Venti Frappuccino job-aachip situation, and I am like sky high right now.
Okay, Lauren Capp says,
I know we all get inspired in the kitchen
when Top Chef comes back on,
and this season has me considering my TV food roots.
Now that the food channel has pretty much gone to hell,
it makes me yearn for the days of great chefs
and great chefs international.
I know you guys are both handy in the kitchen and I'm wondering what your favorite OG cooking shows were that perhaps helped shape your home cooking.
Also, who are your bets for the season? I'm hoping surely all the way.
Now personally, I don't know about great chefs and great chefs international.
I hope that's like house hunters.
But really, I learned to cook
actually with a food network. So for me, my OG chefs, even though I was aware of
like Graham Kerr and like Julia Child, it was Jada DeLarentis and Ina Garten
who got me up and going.
Oh, the simplicity.
Especially with that Giata. I mean, that bitch will just be like, look, I
grilled a salmon. Yum. Yeah. She makes me kind of crazy with that Giata. I mean that bitch will just be like look I grilled a salmon yum
Yeah, yeah, she makes me kind of crazy with that well my mom's a chef
So she tried to teach me how to cook yeah, but I was like I'm not gonna learn how to cook from you
Oh cooking stupid because I was like rebelling against everything really
Yeah, so I didn't learn that much from her back in the day just because I refused to not that she didn't try
I mean she would put me in wait watchers
and then teach me how to make homemade blue cheese dressing,
which is like horribly disgusting and amazing tasting.
But I are cleaning lady growing up.
Rochelle.
Are Raquel, if you will.
Raquel, sorry. Oh no, you're just a visitor in the bachelor world now.
I know.
I feel like everyone should be okay.
Good.
Good.
Yeah, everyone should be impressed because that's a lot.
That's a lot of world events are into the bachelor.
I just asked people to be impressed for me.
This is sad.
Go on.
Well, you did stop yourself.
I just made it.
You pride it out anyway. You're like, I heard what you said, Ben, and I'm going to continue
your statement.
My recall, his name was Romana, not to be confused with Ramona, my Mima, and also a
Ramona singer, where remains. I'll go.
Yeah, so much numerology.
Romana used to watch a Julia child.
Yeah.
And I never got it because Julia Child was always making crazy shit
I mean at least growing up in a border town. It was crazy shit. It's like
And then Romana would never make it of course she'd like she threw a tortilla on the stove and be like here
but
Then as an adult I didn't really care until I was probably in my late 20s, and that's
when I started.
And I really, and I've said it a million times, so I hate repeating myself.
LOL.
But I love Anne Borrell.
I love her.
Yes.
She is really on so many shitty cooking shows because I read that the food network or cooking
channel, whatever it is, the food network, does, they put them on these contracts where they have to do a, they basically are
full-time workers. So they don't only have to just show up and do their show, they have
to do whatever they're told, you know. And so Ember well is like a judge on everything.
And she comes on everything looking exhausted because she is, you know, it's like, okay,
it's five in the morning. You're going gonna guess judge on this crappy show where they're making
crab pickle olive and like, you know, poop
lasagna. Yeah, that's the challenge and she's like, uh
But if you only know her from those shows, you would think she's the worst
But if you know her from her show secrets of a restaurant show. Yes, she is so good
And she really fakes a good personality. She's like, I love you little dumplings
You know like she talks to her food and gives it love. Yeah, before they go on the oven and they die
Yeah, and she teaches you amazing things. She does she really so in terms of my my formative
food network
teachers
When I was really when I got really into cooking
teachers When I was really when I got really into cooking
It was about 2005. I've probably told the story about five different times in this podcast
You know over the years, but you know, I was I was unemployed and
previously I would
In terms of in terms of like cooking or groceries
What happened was that Joe Fas and I Joe Joe and I started TV guys and we were also roommates.
We would go to Costco and we would probably go there every two
or three weeks, maybe once.
I don't remember what it was, but we just like go and buy
all like the French bread pizzas, the hot pot,
gets the hot dogs, all that shit.
And aside from the fact that it's all terrible for you,
what happens is you just, we would spend like the next few weeks just eating away through it and when it for you, what happens is you would spend the next few weeks
just eating away through it,
and when it was done, you'd go back to Costco.
And I started to realize it was not cost-efficient.
As much as Costco is cost-efficient for certain things,
like spending all that money on French food pizzas,
it was like, I need to start making my dollar grow farther.
I need to start cooking pasta,
because when you're running out of money,
pasta is what you go to, right? So I was like I don't know I don't know how to do this at all.
I was like I will turn on the food network and I turned on Jada was on I had no idea who she was
and she happened to be doing an episode on cooking Italian for beginners and I was like here's
a pasta dish you can make and I was like huh and I the positive issue you can make. And I was like, huh. And I made it that night. And it is stayed in my repertoire all these years. But that got
me, that got me on the path. And then so I'd watch her show because I was like, this is,
this is something that I can do. And then I know it would always come on afterwards.
And at first I was like, who is this awkward lady who comes on after Jada, but then I got
hooked into Ina. And then I never looked back. And then of course, I, you know, everyone
knows I love Ina. You love Ina too.
And then in terms of other chefs that were on at that time,
there was this weird lady named Robin, something
who had this show called Quick Fix, Quick and Greeting Fix.
And I actually just referred back to one of her recipes yesterday.
But she wasn't the best, but I would sort of use her.
And then when Anne Borelle came along, I'm with you.
Her show is awesome.
And here her coat is really awesome too.
I mean, she just has really good food and she makes it easy enough to follow and she
gives you good advice.
Like keep a big mixing bowl on the counter and use that as your trash cans.
You're not.
Yes.
You know, Rachel Ray does that too.
Rachel Ray has her trash bowl to be fair.
It's like simple things like cook a, you know, how to chop an onion,
better and easily. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, stuff like that, like if you don't know how to cook,
you can learn from that level.
And then if you do know how to cook, you just ignore all that stuff.
And the recipes aren't the simplest, but they're not hard.
They're not hard. Yeah. Yeah. They're, they're interesting.
I also used to enjoy Tyler Florence,
even though I think he's really cocky.
I liked his recipes.
And honestly, I don't really like Rachel Ray,
and I did not really like 30-minute meals.
But every now and then, should have something on there
that was perfectly fine for a weeknight.
So, but the thing is, compared to what's on now, I mean,
I can't. I know. Yeah, compar know, so, but the thing is compared to what's on now, I mean, I can't.
I know. Yeah, comparatively. All right. What's up? What else is in that male baying?
Okay. Alison Jenek. I hope I said your name correctly.
Correctly. Alison. She says, I don't think this has been asked yet. But what one season
wonder would you want to revive for a second go around? Person I would love to see another
season of gallery girls or princesses long Island? Well, I think both of those 100% would get
still approval.
It's funny that you mentioned that
because on Saturday when I was supposed
to be working on my writing and I was procrastinating,
I kept on posting things from gallery girls
on our Instagram page.
I don't know if you saw that.
Yeah, yeah.
It looks like it was so long ago.
It wasn't that long ago, was it?
It was like 2011, 2000. It was like it was so long ago. It wasn't that long ago. Was it? It was like 2011-20,000. It was like classic clips.
I know. I think I might actually buy the season. I just realized. I was like, this show is so good.
I made buy it on iTunes.
My favorite that I think, I mean, I love both of those, and especially,
they almost put it in pieces. I can't believe that got canceled. I'd love that one.
I think mine would be platinum hit because
I'm hit was actually really good and it was the first show that it was their first project runway ripoff that actually
I thought was good and the people on it were talented and you kind of would learn something
I'm surprised they didn't give that another chance and I blame Cara de La Guardia
Yeah, I well, I actually the thing is I like Kara D. LaGuardia. I like
her on American Idol and I like her on this show but people really hated her
and I think Bravo thought that she'd have more peel than she did.
She's really an asshole. She was not watching what happens when that show was
coming out and he's like hey Kara D. LaGuardia let's play boobs on a donkey and
she was like um I'm just here to. I'm just here to promote my show.
Yeah, it's like, well, who's your favorite housewife?
She's like, I don't want you shit.
And yet, we really should be applauding her for being like that.
But she wasn't doing it in a fabulous way.
She was just an asshole.
Like, you knew what you were showing up for, you know?
I remember on American Idol, on her season, one of her seasons, there was a girl who showed up
like in a bikini and she was like, ugh.
And then like during the finale,
they brought the girl back and then Cara showed up
behind her and took off her top.
I was like, look at my body.
Yes.
I was like, this is sad.
Yeah.
She's like the meviest ever.
But you know what's funny?
I just remembered during my procrastination on Saturday,
I thought to myself, you know what'd be fun?
Why don't I make a list of the one hit wonders or brilliant by canceled shows
that Bravo should bring back?
And so I actually, I'll show you my little list that I made for no reason.
I made a list for no reason.
I'll go through quickly because, you know, so I said at number 10,
chef academy, do you remember that show?
No.
That was where there was this French chef who had like a cooking classes in Venice
and people came and they learned to cook
and they had tests and if they failed through Test and Row,
they were kicked off the show.
And in the end, you don't win anything, you just graduate.
It was so good.
It was such a good show, such great casting.
I loved it.
Number nine, I said, platinum, platinum hit.
Number eight.
I said, Euros of Hollywood, plan them hit number eight. I said
Euros of Hollywood which was also really hilarious. Yeah, I still see those guys around town
Yeah, every time I drive by I Yannick's jewelry store. Nia la I think of him
Yannick yeah, Yannick is spending a little too much time with the tannery I didn't even know you could get a dark brown spray tan
Well, you know, it's funny a tannerie is a place where you cure leather hides.
Oh, I know.
Oh, okay.
I wanted to make sure you.
That's what he's starting to look like, girl.
Yeah.
This one was not a one hit wonder, but it had two seasons, but it still was really good.
And I think it should come back.
Blood, sweat, and heels, which always makes me sad because of Port A. Z on that show
who passed away.
Number six, I said, million dollar decorators.
I loved that show with Martin was blurred.
I know, me too.
I'm sad that didn't come back to.
They had, well, they had four cast members.
One guy was a dud, but the rest were just absolutely amazing.
What Catherine Ireland, and then what was that crazy lady's name
who was apparently the inspiration behind the willing race characters?
Yeah, she talks like they asked.
Yeah, I forgot.
I forgot pretty much all her names except
Martin Lawrence, blood.
But along that same line, here's a show that's so forgotten about
that Bravo doesn't even have it on their website,
and they have a lot of their old shows on there.
Top design. Season one was not great, but season two, So forgot about that Bravo doesn't even have it on their website and they have a lot of their old shows on there.
Top design.
Season one was not great, but season two, when they brought an India Hicks, was so good.
You know, top design actually was a really good show and that was another good project
when Ray runway rip off.
It was a really good show.
I wonder what happened to that.
I think that was probably just too hard to make.
I think it was probably very expensive because I remember the first season they didn't have much of a budget. So everything was like in the Pacific
Design Center and they were just building things out and they had that awful tagline where
Jonathan Adler would say, see you later, decorator. See you later, decorator. But then when
they went to the end of the Hick season, we've just simply don't get your design. You're going home
Just like this like devastating goodbye and who's in all the person goodbye?
Who is that judge on there that was always dressed really crazy that lady judge Kelly Wersler?
Yes, and she was kind of like Rachel's though. She'd be like yeah
That is amazing. Yeah, by the way, I did not put Rachel Zoan
as well.
First of all, she wasn't a one-hit wonder,
but also that one ranch course.
When you put a carpet, carpet and deck
you are in a living room,
that's amazing.
There's also a woman on the India Hicks season
whose husband was Ricky Schroeder.
And she's like, I don't want people to know
that my husband's Ricky Schroeder and she's like, I don't want people to know that my husband's
Ricky Schroeder.
She made like a whole thing as if she was like married
to Brad Pitt.
She's like, well, I think today is the day I'm finally
to let people know my husband is Ricky Schroeder.
Every designer spoon based.
Oh, honey.
They're like, look at how this is a lovely couch.
It must be brand new.
It's actually surprising like 20 years older than you would think, but it just still looks very brand new.
What a beautiful blanket. I mean, Schroeder would even carry that. Oh, I don't know. Linus is the one with the blanket. Never mind. What did Schroeder do on the piano? Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Um, I just imagine her just always including like a little train that you could ride in every
design.
Well, here in the bitch in the kitchen, I thought this would be a great place for a small
train to come through that the kids can hop on.
This design is so fancy.
It's like there was a silver spoon boring in their mouth.
Oh, they're going to give me away.
So number four, I put secrets and wives Jonathan
Paralized they all speak like that, you know
You know Corey Goldfarb, you know we follow each other on Instagram and she likes everything we put up
She is really into it love her and I like everything she puts up. It's all like
completely face did
That's so I think suffered from the curse of not being named housewives, because
it was another housewives show. And I think they were, even though it didn't take place
in Jersey, right? Where was it? It was Long Island.
It was Long Island. The real housewives of Long Island, they're allized. They really missed
an opportunity by not renewing that. And I feel like anything that's not named housewives,
they just don't care about. I also think with those women,
I think to people who maybe don't know
or understand Long Island, it was a little boring
because the fights were never really that over the top.
It was just like these simmering tensions at times.
But if you know Long Island women,
if you've been on Long Island,
it's like the best thing ever
because just sort of know Long Island women, if you've been on Long Island, it's like the best thing ever, because just sort of captures Long Island.
But if you're just, if it's, I think for a lot of people, just probably didn't speak
to them.
They needed to be more over the top, which is, you're always paralyzed.
So obviously, my number one was Gallard Girls, number two is Princesses Long Island.
But number three, can you guess what my third place one was, which could have been number
one if one and two weren't already so amazing.
It's another Academy show.
No, what is it?
Game of Crowns.
Oh my God, another one, another one I'm shocked.
Didn't get it.
That one was a little TLC for Bravo, but it was very TLC,
but that one is actually, I would say that's probably
up all these shows the most overlooked because Gallery girls and princesses long islands still get love
online.
People, they sort of have like a cult following even among our listeners, people still
reference them and even amongst ourselves.
We rarely mention game of crowns because I don't think we ever had a really strong running
joke that came out of it, but that show was so beyond excellent. It was so, I
mean, I guess we have LOL who's laughing now, but that was amazing. That lady threw her
own beauty pageant at her Indian casino so that she could win. I mean, that shit is just
gold. Linde, Yamante, the portraits that she had of herself up in her house and how
she started a rumor
that someone wanted to, one of the husbands wanted to murder her.
I mean, I really remember they showed the husbands and they were all like mob guys.
I mean, that show was so good.
Except for Linda Mante's husband, he was like an optometrist, like I suddenly see more
type.
It was, yeah, that show is... That show is a classic.
People need to...
People need to get woke to that show.
Get woke.
Alright, well let's go with that mailbag being...
...
...
...
... Okay, let's move on to Mary to medicine reunion part one.
Yes, queen.
We open with the pregame where it is going to everybody's dressing room.
Hi, hi, hi, he does the same thing he does in the reunion chair, but walking around.
Yeah, like, Hey, Hey, Toya is your husband here.
And she's like, yeah, he's they've been darred.
He's they made darred here.
Yeah.
What I said there was had down come with a gene.
That way, all the ones will be here together because now I never shows up.
You know, I'm saying, Andy.
Andy was totally stoned.
He had pink eyes. really just like scraped him off the floor of some
gay bar brought him in here so he was all messy probably doesn't realize he's
not in the gay bar anymore he's like oh the drag show is starting hey they
brought the tablecloth from the gay bar it's Toria's dress dress. Toria, okay, so Toria's storyline is going bankrupt
and all this stuff and having to live within her means
in an $8,000-a-month house.
And then she shows up to the reunion in a wedding train.
Yes.
It's like she went to a fancy dinner
that was on one of those tables that goes on for a mile
and she took the tablecloth and wrapped it around.
Yes. She walked off and whatever it was attached to it, it's coming
with her fork spoons, anything glittery, candle sticks, that's what she was wearing.
So you want to just do the main points of this?
Yeah, let's just do the main points because you know, I feel like this reunion was mainly
just about really shady commons. They were making to each other.
I mean, the thing, what was funny was at the start of the episode, there was talk that
Heavenly and Mariah were wearing the same earrings and shoes and I had no idea that that
was going to come back at the end of the episode and be such an explosive topic.
I know.
They're wearing the same fake rhinestone shoes and earrings from Clair's.
Mariah is like, I'm gonna burn mine.
Papa, I, Papa, I, Nick Twitch, head Twitch.
Yeah.
Moriah, did, Moriah was classic Mariah.
Well, she mixed classic with like old Coke.
Yes.
That'd be called it.
Like classic with new Coke.
She, she, she's Coke one and a half.
In the dressing room, she was, you know, a pit bull. She's like, oh, no one's gonna treat me.
Right like that, you know, pop by eye. But then she gets out there and she's trying to do like the
personality recovery tour of 2017. She's acting like she's so nice and she's such a victim.
Not so Mariah. Her bark is always bigger than her bite.
And I'm starting to understand her kind of because she's like, I don't understand why
these ladies are so mean to me.
I've been so nice.
But you know, then of course in the talking head, she's just horrible.
And she's not just horrible in a fun way.
She's like, they are broke and that woman had an affair with a milkman.
It's like, whoa. and that woman had an affair with a milkman. It's like whoa
She brings up this horrible stuff
She's and honey child when I talk about a milkman I'm not talking about this Mr. Derek green. Although I will keep the queen pot in that sense if you will
South yeah totally
So she was kind of classic victim Mariah, but acting like she's such a bitch
And they showed her in the dressing room later the The whole thing was about the shoes and the earrings
to be in.
Yeah.
She's like, I'm burning those.
And I will go barefoot.
I will be in my birthday bathing suit shoes.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm a burn those.
And so she comes out with no shoes and earrings.
So I could go.
Yeah.
And Andy's like, Mariah, what happened to your shoes
and your earrings?
She's like, is a great designer, great designer, but for me, not good today.
And then heaven's like, I'm not bad anyway.
That is.
That was shitty.
I'm not bad.
And then that got, that totally semi-mariah off.
So they start like fighting.
Like, it's like it just goes from like zero to a hundred.
And I just love, I'm like, well, I don't got a, I don't got a less. I'm just gonna see what I can catch
with my little net.
Because it was like a typical Mary Demettis
in fight where they're not even saying anything.
Mariah is just like, well, I hear you off.
It's dirty.
Dirty, that's not nice.
Like your mouth.
Well, at least my mouth moves.
Well, you want to talk about moving?
What about you, old truck?
And it's like, what are you even fighting about?
It's the truck right now you're
Yeah, it's right with four wheel driver. I'm a
Full-wheel drive but at least I don't have to go on automatic
I can drive my own thing my own stick shit. Well, you got to stick up on your ass. Oh, yeah
Well, my stick at least my stick is like a young stick not a metric. So why don't you get into American system of yards?
You're like what's happening here? I did like the one man's like it was very word association
It was very word associated it was I was like how I was very word association. It was very word association.
It was. I was like, how I was like, can I do this?
Can I do this right now? I don't know if I can do it.
But I like my when I was like, look like a bullfrog.
You know, it smell like one too. I knew a messy bitch on this stage.
Happen these response was, you are the only person here,
daddy who says she's on the phone it looks like she's over 50
yeah those two were hilarious but there it's like at least make this about something you've
got so many real things to fight over why aren't we fighting over you halls and grilled steak
at some point i was like is this really about ketchup versus mayonnaise with your friend for probably probably.
So one of the one of the main parts of this part one is Lisa Nicole because you know, Lisa Nicole, I don't even see really what Lisa Nicole did.
Okay, last season, of course, she got nasty because, you know,
she went into that strip club and was like, yeah,
is a business car to empower yourself and then they all knew her husband's name
Oh, like is this Mr. Print? I mean we're strippers and we do better than Mr. Print
Yes, and that was funny when heavenly wasn't because she kept trying to be a
Victim and Mariah was like the victim defending the other victim
Yeah, that was Mariah's role this episode. Yeah, and quad was like, don't
you remember last year, honey, when your husband walked into the strip bar and everyone knew his name,
girl. And, you know, and then she, I'm sorry, she was like, why are you being friends with her,
when she called you with Lesbian? Yes, she did, honey. I'm like, why are you bringing that up again,
because it's calling you a lesbian too, stupid.
Well, she was trying to get Mariah off of Lisa Nicole's side.
Yes, why are you going back there?
Oh, sorry, I just did a, I just like an Erica Jane.
You did a Georgia Jane.
It's not my show.
I don't get a fuck.
I'll go a fuck.
Oh, jeez.
Sorry.
Go on.
So she was basically giving her ship
for being friends with her after last season.
She was telling everybody that they had a lesbian affair.
And I thought that was good to remind us
that Real Housewives of Atlanta
was not the first lesbian fight
because I totally forgot about the lesbian affair fight
from Mary and Madison.
Well, last season was so bonkers
that that whole lesbian rumor went away very quickly.
In fact, it almost got brushed under the rug.
It became a fight about the fact that there was glass thrown
and not about the lesbian rumors.
In fact, the lesbian rumors were never really addressed.
I feel like as far as I can remember,
maybe in one of the reunions, I feel like maybe this reunion
was the first time I won't say that
because I'm sure they talked about it last year.
But they never, I feel like they never out now denied it, right? Yeah, I mean they I think they did. I mean,
how they did. They're not known for their clarity. But I mean, that whole thing last year was
hilarious because it all happened off camera. And it was in some steakhouse and quad walked
up to Mariah to say hi, and Mariah gave her attitude, and then they got in a big lesbian fight.
And then it was over.
And we never knew what happened in that goddamn sizzler,
but yeah, too much.
And it still bothers me.
I feel like that was the,
has been some of the downfall of the show,
although the show is still very funny,
I feel like too much drama has stemmed from this
one dinner at SDK that we never saw.
And it's like it's hard to care that much
from that this murky dinner, you know,
where these two people stop being friends.
Yeah, well everybody hates Lisa Nicole.
And I don't understand really all that much she did
because that was all last season.
This season, they were already on her ass
just when she was saying,
I want you have a baby.
And so that was the whole.
Because she's ridiculous. Because she's ridiculous. just when she was saying, I want to have a baby. And so that was the whole violence. The beginning was her wanting to have a baby and nobody being
supportive and bash. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, Lisa Nicole was trying to play
the victim here, you know, she's like, well, after the show, I had a blood clot,
which means that it's a higher risk pregnancy, but I still want to have a baby
Not because it's gonna fix the marriage, but most marriages are fixed by babies
I think this will fix everything with daring. It's just that it will fix everything with daring
Thanks for like Lisa. We were just selling you that it seems like it's not necessary.
That's it.
That's it.
I feel bad for my neighbors, by the way.
They're like, what bird is don in that apartment?
But the only, yeah, heavenly, she's like, you're even sad.
You wanted to have a baby for a dancing and husband with support.
I was like, I did not say that. And then they show her saying just that. And she's like, well, I'm trying to say is that we bond when I'm pregnant.
He rests my stomach pregnant women turn men on. What's wrong with that? I'm like besides fucking your baby in the face. I think you want to go, Lisa Nicole.
Here's what's wrong with that, Lisa Nicole, is that it's a high-risk pregnancy.
You could die and you have kids, okay, and you are putting your desire to have that
warm, special feeling for about nine months ahead of your kids' life.
Like they're life without potentially without
a mother. That's what's wrong with it. And on top of that, it's also ridiculous because
you guys obviously have issues in your marriage and a baby is not going to fix that. And as
much as Lisa Nicole is saying, I'm not trying to fix it. You are trying to fix it. You are
bitch. And then she give time where he's going to leave. I mean, he's like at that point where he's he's at that age where he's like, Oh, shit. This is the end of my
hotness. I better go fuck as many people as I can get that money out of the bank account
by me a sports car. Like that's like the way of the man. And it doesn't matter if you have
a baby at home. He doesn't care. He doesn't care about the ones you have there now while
he's out doing whatever the hell he's doing. Exactly. And so, and so, Lisa Nicole is trying to be the better person.
She's like, I have no beats with any of the women here. And they're like, yeah, you have
beats with all of us and you're acting all innocent. And Simone is the one who's like,
you always say that when the when they go low, you go high, but Euro is rolling around in the dirt, leasing the call. And she's like, I don't know what dirt is.
And if I did have there, I would let Darren watch it off of me.
He must have given me past when I'm pregnant.
I love that heavenly, heavenly. I thought I had a good point.
She's like, listen to yourself. You're blaming everything on everybody else.
The hose at the strip club know his name, but she's lashing out at me and Toya, but not
own damn husband who's introducing themselves to all these hose. Like that's true.
First of all, first of all, I think it's really wonderful that Darren wants to help out in the garden with a hoe. It's called making an effort
heavenly. When she was say, Lisa Nicole starts crying and she's like, heavenly, I did feel like we
were developing a friendship. We traveled. I introduced you into the inner circle. It's like, oh,
God, you can't call heavenly a loser with nothing and then say you're
the one who gave her everything.
Yeah.
That doesn't make any sense.
Like, what inner circle?
What inner circle does Lisa Nicole have access to?
Should I buy like the inner circle of target?
The inner circle, the inner part of the bull's eye.
The only solid circle within target.
And you completely destroyed me.
And she said, and I don't like Toia because Toia is a liar.
And Toia is like, I'm the both of us bitch, you'll ever be.
Yeah.
I love when Toia talks about Dr. Daron.
And she's like, I did feel really bad about calling him a gay,
because I never actually saw him in a gay act.
I'm like, oh, that's really, that's quite the apology right there.
I cannot see that that man is gay just because he constantly smells like man asked.
What I should have did was follow them down to the gay sex baths and taking a picture of them.
And I showed the Eugene and he could have blown it up a broad everyone.
There's no matter I'm taking a picture of them and I showed the Eugene and then he could have blown up a broad everyone. There's no matter how I'm the ambiance.
So then they got into the gay fight and Tory was like, I didn't see him in the act, but
we had a bad out of the show saying that he didn't.
And he even said that they regard a birthmark on his butt.
And then leasing the coast like, well, that proves it because he doesn't.
And then someone goes, oh, yeah,, yeah, it was on his butt.
It was on the left side of his penis.
Yeah, it was quite, it was quite a sad that
and she gets it like all official as if she's,
she's like a forensic scientist.
Well, what I transpired was that the birthmark
was on the left genitalia.
And I had known this because I asked the genitalia,
what can you bring to this company?
It was a millimeter of a quadrace center away from the shaft of the eriola honey honey that was like a palm tree
growing mcdonalds lots of fras and stickiness for everyone stickiness um so then the den denial kind of goes down, but then Lisa Nicole's like, well, he doesn't have one there either.
And I was like, oh, my meter, my meter.
Because she wasn't saying that last year.
Last year she was like, my husband's penis is my business. Literally I'm a business woman and Darren's penis is one of my
businesses. Teach me. I have actually tried to bring them to my seminar. Teach me
how to grow and become hard and it just doesn't work with him anymore. His
penis was fine until you started talking about it,
and then it was attacked by a mole on the left side.
And now, Kiefer Sutherland doesn't know who to trust,
because there's so many moles.
Then Andy was like, well, you know, he wasn't around much,
but then on the other hand, he was called gay all season
and everyone attacked him. Why would he want to come on the show?
Now he did come on the show. He didn't go to group events, but he did come to the home scenes,
and he was always denying that he could remember where he was five minutes before,
and telling all kinds of lies, and obviously cheating.
Yeah. So what's the discussion here? Like, why does it need to be a huge discussion?
I do like that Lisa Nicole at least
tells him off next week.
Yeah, too.
But that should be good.
Yeah, that'll be really good.
I enjoyed Toya's moment on the reunion
when they were asking her about her finances and stuff.
Because first of all, Toya made me laugh pretty early on
when she said
regarding the group of people, she's like, well, I would have liked being around the educated black
men and women. I was like, well, you know, it doesn't work by Osmos, right?
What are you talking about? I'm a contag-ta. I'm out of the trade.
But then later on, when she's talking about the tax stuff and not having money or being
in debt and they started off with not a lot of money, she goes, we came to Atlanta with
the education.
I was like, you realize you just said that wrong.
With a education.
That's so toya.
That's so toya. That's so toria. That's so toria.
That's so toria. But I love toria.
I just hate toria. I love toria.
Yeah, toria has been hilarious this year.
They had a commercial break.
And when they came back, they're like,
Quad, we need you on set.
Quad.
And then the doors swing open.
And Quad comes out with all these like all of her group.
Or whatever.
Yes, she got something like the set. She like, let me push this set door open.
Yeah, and Andy's like, what were you doing? Were you in the library? She's like, I was in the lab,
right, honey. Okay, Quad just took a Coke break with her fucking friends in the set,
the back of the set, classy quad. Yeah, what I like about this.
So I like also Andy Cohen actually made me really laugh out loud
because in the beginning of the episode,
he was talking to Dr. Jackie and Dr. Simone,
he was like, so what's the craziest things you guys have had to do?
What's the greatest thing?
And Dr. Jack is like, well, one time I had to remove a glass
of these, I never vagina, and I had to get a male MD
with bigger hands because of all the suction and then Andy turns to
Quattro goes, Quattro, are you still in pain from that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and big props to that. Also, Janice came out. It was like, everyone, Janice, and Janice's like, well, I have six kids and four dogs.
Thanks, Janice, thanks for coming by.
Then they get to, they go back,
they keep going back to Toria's money, which is hilarious.
That was like one of the running threads.
He's like, so everybody enjoy balloons.
Okay, now, Toria, you're broke.
So, she's like, so Toria goes off on this whole thing where I'm supportive of the
family too. Let's not pretend we don't get checks for this show. So I pay to believe
me, believe you be toy. I was cited over a checks with her names on it. And then Lisa
Nicole is sitting there smirking during the broke montage. She's like, no, oh, grouse, like making all these nasty faces during the
broke montage. And then Andy's like, so at least in a
call, you tweeted that Toria has a broke mentality problem. And
she's like, well, I don't really like to live beyond my
means. And he goes, well, don't you have a tax problem? And
she goes, well, we did. And she goes, do what did Toria do
it. And she goes, well, we did. And she goes, do what did. Toia, do what did.
And she goes, well, we have a payment plan like you.
So you do.
This is why no one likes you, because you a fake bitch.
Exactly.
You know, you're sitting there smirking it somebody else
while you still have it.
And it was like for the same amount, too.
Yeah.
And don't talk about living.
You don't like to live beyond your means
when you're trying to push your reproductive system to the breaking point. Okay, lady. Like your body is trying to give you so many warning signs. Do not put another baby in me.
So don't talk about living beyond your means because you're not because you want to live beyond your means.
By possibly.
I got that singer.
I got that singer I also I also thought it was funny when heavenly was apologizing to Janice heavenly was like
Janice I am sorry. I am really daddy. I'm sorry
I never should say I hear the house of hope his wife passed away and
Janice I'm really sorry apologize. I apologize for my heart like it takes three minutes to make you feel that way
I want three minutes to inspire you that I can't do that like
Tell them please do it and Jesus like okay, okay, okay
Relax, it's fine. God heaven me. She's like I've got a rhythm
It's all the standing because the husband was so nice and it was definitely to me that a husband had the custody of his children
Like the wife died and she's like I feel so bad
She went on her sorry 30 times. Oh so bad. That's what she went on her, sorry, 30 times.
Oh my God, that was so embarrassing.
And also hilarious.
And it's also hilarious that she went above and beyond
to apologize to Janice.
Like, would not say anything remotely close to an apology
towards Lisa Nicole, not at least Nicole deserved one.
But you could see every time that you apologize to Janice,
Lisa Nicole is like, and what about me?
There was a first of all, this poor Janice, she joins the cash,
she has one good fight right at the start. And then nothing
is old. They never show her again, no one even knows her. And he's
like, so Janice is joining us here on the couch. So Janice, how do
you meet your husband? And they're like, whoa, everybody shocked.
Like I'd never even heard that simple story.
She's like, well, my husband was the coach
of my son's baseball team.
I'll never mind you, uh-oh.
Those are like the coach of a baseball team.
But they were like, wow, she goes,
and I have six kids and four dogs. And
everyone's like, whoa, six kids and four dogs. You guys can at least make an effort to
get to know Denise. My God. I also liked towards the end of the episode. There was a, like,
an ask heavenly segment and then like heavenly
What would you say to quad what what what advice you give quad? It's just like
Kind of went around I'm trying to just look through these nights to make sure I don't miss anything.
Well there was something with...
There was something with um...
Heavenly and drinking where I sort of like missed it. I was like, I was got distracted by something and I didn't bother going back.
But all I know is that the Heavenly drinking thing came up and then all of a sudden the music got dramatic and anti-cointed.
One of his sensitive will be right back. He's like, we'll be right back. Oh yeah. Well she's
like, you can't just say that about somebody I got a license, Lisa Nicole. And Lisa Nicole
says, um, well, and remember that in Hawaii, Lisa Nicole sobbing said, I don't think you
have a drinking problem. I was just being mean. So she's thrown that out the window and she's
like, Quads like, well, Lisa Nicole said, heaven, leave had an alcoholic drinking problem.
Fucking Quads. So she drank a bottle of crown every two hours or something and she's like,
Oh, hold bottle, Lisa Nicole, a whole bottle go. Oh, oh, Bob, really? And listen to Cole says,
Well, your drinking is excessive.
And you have to go through these steps
of the cage questions.
See, are you concerned and offensive
when someone confronts you?
Hey, are you annoyed when someone accuses you?
I'm like, you're basically describing all of you
after every single question here.
Yeah.
They got it.
Everyone's an alcoholic.
If that's how you're going to do it, listen,
did you take out any of the wrong teeth?
Did you let somebody choke on their own plaque
or did you fall down at work?
Like, did you throw up at somebody in the dental chair?
That's when you know you're an alcoholic, heavenly.
Otherwise, fuck this bitch.
The cage system.
Yeah.
Shut up.
Of course, it doesn't help that heavenly always sounds
like she's about to burp up a beer bubble.
That's how she burps.
Oh, good.
So let's see. They don't really give Mariah too much shit. She's just calling everyone a bully
And she's like well my oh someone asked a question they said you were bullied as a child
But you know you can't keep blaming your childhood and I think they were talking to heavenly right and then they show heavenly who looks just like a Laura
But you know less well-kept and they show heavenly who looks just like a Laura but you know less
well-kept and they showed her and she's like well I have a thing where people are
me to me I say something bad about the mama and whereas I get well now you're bullying
people and maybe you're not doing it to their face but you're doing it behind their backs
and quiet like I'll say it to your face honey
You guys cannot even stay on one thing for two sides. I know
yeah, well
It was it was definitely a very funny reunion even if they didn't get to anything deeper or more interesting It's all associated to each other
Heavenly is just hilarious because this ends with Mariah trying to act like she's standing up for the little guy
and heavenly goes what you talking about Mariah you can't quite homeless homeless you say she was
homeless and you were the first person to say Lisa Nicole husband with gay too and then they show
the clip of a and Mariah is just like Papa I have a little like your mama I'm so sorry
and I apologize not to say that you know what else I should have said your mama oh I'm
sorry again I keep saying to me your mommy oh I said it again Andy yeah let's summarize
like well you look like a damn bull frog that's why I don't have with you it's like oh god
alright good one man I did come back red that's it. So that brings us to the end of our
the when Thursday. Everybody. What day is it anymore? No. Thursday episode. Thanks everyone for listening.
What fun. We will see you next time everybody. Oh, and tomorrow our episode we have our special
crossover episode with KKC where we're
going to talk about summer house, but we're also going to get in some bachelor.
And also we're going to talk a lot about Southern charm to get us ready for the next
season.
So super fun episode.
Stay tuned.
Yeah.
We will see you there.
Bye.
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