Watch What Crappens - #404 Summer House: Twinjured
Episode Date: March 3, 2017Christina and Stephen stir the pot on Summer House, and one of our fave gets twinjured. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live g...roup video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello, bin.
Hey, Ronnie.
What's going on?
Not a whole lot.
Talking to my baby all day.
Oh, well, it's Friday, which means we not only survived the week, but we get to talk about
one of the most hilarious shows
on Bravo right now, Summer House.
Yeah, Summer House started out with three weeks
left on Summer House,
because it's the gay guy doing it this week.
And I was so sad, or three weeks,
does that say three weekends left?
That's what I'm like that.
And it made me so sad.
I was like, no.
I know as like Summer House don't leave so soon. And the thing is, I don't
know how this show is doing. I feel like people seem to be watching it. I feel like people
on Twitter and on our listeners and some people have been talking, people have been talking
to in real life are like, oh, yeah, I watched summer house and everyone seems to like it a
lot. But I don't actually know how it's doing in the ratings.
It's so hard for us to access what the ratings are for any of these shows, but I really hope
Summer House is doing well, but since we like it so much, chances are it's going to get
canceled.
Yeah, because we like things that get canceled very quickly.
Yeah, but it's so good.
It's so good.
I'm trying to find ratings actually online and I can't find anything. I
looked it's so I don't know I don't know how to find ratings. Oh Monday cable
rating six hours ago. Bates motel is back. You know it was show that's not quite
has fun but I still love me some baits motel. I'm gonna I'm gonna do a find a
word find. Some are probably like I get I got a point three rating. It did. Really?
That is what it got. It's like 20,000 viewers. I don't know. Good. I don't think that's good. It's
almost at the end. Okay. Here's where it ranks next to. It goes. Oh my god. It's really far down Um, okay, love and hip hop seven.
1.3.
Then it goes. WWE WWE Fast and Loud teen Mom to diesel brothers, Vanderpromp rules,
breaks teen mom to NBA basketball Martha and Snoop Popluck baked motel NBA
basketball college basketball college basketball counting on Rachel Maddow
show college basketball Tucker college basketball, counting on Rachel Maddow show, college basketball, Tucker Carlson, summer house.
Well, you know, that's stiff competition for a new show.
That's going up against professional sports and college sports and Rachel Maddow.
And you know, yeah, lots of lesbians watching TV last night is basically what
you're saying. Yeah.
And then summer house beat.
It's above daily show a Riley factor house
House and pardon the interruption
So look it's doing better than the daily show
So there are enough said but gosh, I feel bad. I do feel like Bravo actually promotes it too
Normally, we're like well, they don't show it any love
But Bravo has a lot of summer house commercials
Maybe but they probably don't have a lot of as people from summer house on watch would happen.
That's what I think is what's, it's a problem.
They don't put the stars, these shows on their,
on like one of their big promotional platforms.
And that really bothers me.
Yeah, come on guys, help your own show out.
I mean, what the hell?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Well, we'll do the promoting for you
because we love this show.
Yeah, we do.
And so this, we ended last week with Steven,
who, you know, I'm so horrible because I am a gay guy
and I'm like, the gay guy.
I mean, that's even what I write down in my notes.
And you were so much more than that, Steven.
Haven't found out what it is yet.
But I'm sure you are.
He's a Southern gay guy.
Southern gay guy.
Oh, so it ended with him like,
um, Everett totally told me that he came home
after sleeping with four people and a bad.
And then he was like,
for a pay-ball,
awa, awa, awa, so that's where we open.
So she's like,
oh, for me,
oh, for,
like she's mad about the number,
which is funny.
So she tells us she goes, I'm not ever at four or two and a half years.
And I'll always give them the bad off of the doubt.
I'm like, yeah, except when you're drunk and mad and he calls you geek when he's
joking and then you break up as a result of it.
Yeah.
And then it cuts to Everett sleeping on the couch holding his nets.
That was the funniest cut.
I'm I think I'm not I'm not that it out. And that's holding his nets. I thought that was the funniest cut. I'm thinking, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not that it out.
That's holding.
So Everett's like, when she confronts Everett, he's like, that is a fliger in impossibility
because I won't fit in any bed with four people anyway.
Yeah.
You know, Everett's lying when he starts using like crazy big words.
Yeah.
That's a fliger in impossibility.
And then she's like, so are you didn't wake up on a bow with father pay ball.
And he's like, no, no.
And it's not going to happen again.
I promise.
I'm like, wait, so how can it happen again if it didn't happen in the first place?
I'm not ever going to wake up with not four people ever again.
I promise.
But the thing was, here's how I could tell he was lying.
Because he was actually really calm.
He's like, no, no geek.
I didn't do that. That's crazy geek.
No, you're crazy and I promise.
Don't have anything to worry about.
I'm like, he is too calm.
Because if he didn't do it, he'd be like,
why would you say that geek?
You are. You are. You are. You are.
Yeah, but he did. So he's like, did we, did we invade our rack under false pretenses?
Like, yes. That example, geek. That example came over geek, came over RIP, Bill
Vanxton. There were nuclear reactors in that bed. I just put four people over him
so we wouldn't lose the amptance.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
Hahaha.
So, Lindsay's like, yeah, I know he didn't do it
because he knows that if he did,
I think he's the best thing to ever happen to him.
Hahaha. I'm like, I think this is the best thing to ever happen to him.
I'm like, what was that surviving the war?
Wow, I guess that would be a second pass. I'm the best.
Lindsey, did you take my new shorts
that you don't have to wear underwear with?
Those were the best things that ever happened to me.
She's like, well, you shouldn't have fought four people.
All right, I can't believe you said all right.
I like to think of every when he goes on a monologue,
that Adagio for Strings starts playing, you know,
from Platoon.
He was like, yeah, it was a rough night.
I was fighting with Lindsay.
I got so mad.
I just had to leave the house.
I'm going to another house, I'm on talk.
I'm like talking a bunch of geeks, and and then like fall asleep in a bed with four people and
it was like really rough for me.
Chew geek.
Really rough.
Things have changed.
Oh, sorry.
I got it off.
That was good.
Just see the whole thing to that.
I know.
Summer house has scored by the music and platoon.
I'm just gonna play it. Random parts of this recap.
I'm just gonna start playing that.
This episode was sort of like a war movie.
Well, and we start seeing who's really planting all the bombs.
I mean, I guess we could see it, but we start seeing them react
because in both this episode,
in this episode, both Christina
and the gay guy have issues getting caught and then getting mad that they were, that their
plans were foiled.
But they, but no, no, but well, we'll get to it.
Perhaps when we get to the real craziness, but I think that Christina and Stephen, they
are with a bunch of idiots.
And well, we'll get to it.
We'll get to it.
Well, that's true.
Well, we can start with Steven,
because that's, that he's the first.
But Steven gets mad because Lindsay and Everett are now like,
oh my God, I'm in a line.
And he's like, you're a geek.
She's like, I know that word now and I'm fine with it.
So they're like all happy.
And the gay comes late.
He comes after everybody else. So he comes home and sees them acting
all levy, devine. He does. Everett didn't come home. He woke up with four girls and then lies
about it and then gets off without a hitch. Like this makes no sense. Like he said his plans were
foils. He's like, I should have known this summer was going to be fucked when that girl from Rennepumperuil shut up in a Steve Jobs bathing suit.
By the way, we also mentioned that like the ladies of London woman, she clearly moved
over to Summer House because the music was crazy this episode. The song was like, it's
all about us. Hashtag fabulous. She did not. Was it hashtag fabulous?
It was that was the lyric.
It's it. It's all about us.
hashtag fabulous.
I don't know if I got the melody right, but I definitely wrote down the lyrics.
Well, the Hamptons is so white that they probably are just getting hashtags.
Like I'm like, oh, hashtag, it's the number fine, but it's like a subdog.
It's actually probably like the party line you have to call to find out where the cool
things happening at Kasha. So you have to call to find out where the cool things happening at
Kasha, so you have to press hashtag and write fabulous in your phone
So back in the city. We're back in the city hashtag
Phone talking montage phone talking montage Stephen needs flowers Carl is here for a three o'clock appointment and Christina wants interview
Don't live via Palmero Palermo. She's from the city, right?
Yeah, that's a girl from the hills and then the city or just absolutely just the city. She's on the end over Christina great show
Darling look upwards look up. Yeah aim up. I'm done and she's like I love stories because I'm a reporter and
He's like, I love stories because I'm a reporter. And whenever somebody has news, they're like,
Christina, do you want to tell everybody
that my parents are getting divorced?
And I'm like, yeah, I'll bear it.
Christina news network, her example was,
yeah, one time my aunt was pregnant with twins.
And she called up and I answered the phone
and she's like, you want to tell the family?
And I was like, yeah, I certainly do.
And I went and I told the entire family
about Aunt Joni's twins.
And honestly, it was the biggest day in the world.
It was amazing.
I bear bad, I bear more bad news than a surrogate.
So Christina's like, I'm not, I'm not fake.
Okay, so what you see is what you get.
Take it or leave it.
I'm not crying.
I'm not crying.
I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying.
I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying. I'm not crying's like, hey partner, I'm on the phone. Well, so far I can log
into the app and that's huge. It's crazy. The app turns on. That's amazing.
And then they show him working out in the backyard of the summer house with all the cast trying to,
I guess, take things for the app. I don't know, but something like that. So it's even barbs. He's like, eh, by the way, I'm very intrigued by Kyle's free-bong shorts.
I feel like he should send us samples and we can test them out.
Well, the whole point of underwear is that you can wear the same jeans every day and
just change your underwear.
That's true.
So what's the point if you have to wash this, you know, it doesn't make sense.
That's true. That's true. It's actually making more this, you know, it doesn't make sense. That's true. That's true.
It's actually making more washing, you know, right?
It's bad for the world.
Yeah.
So that you moved on to a fitness app because there's not enough of those.
Yeah.
So then after like, there are 10 seconds in New York City, it's Friday again.
And now Kyle is driving out to Montauk and he's got Carl and Lindsay and the twins all
crammed in there.
And the twins learns like, why didn't anyone tell me Carl's coming?
No one told me like, Carl, Carl, Carl.
Carl, Carl?
I guess, I guess like with Carl, like we're just going to have to brush things under the
rug, which is the theme of the night on Bravo, because that was a band of front rules too.
Yeah, Carl, Carl, how's up there?
Are you buckling in Carl?
Carl, you know, there's a driver's side airbag,
so you'll be safe.
Okay, Carl, you know that, Carl?
I think there was a huge missed opportunity
to just show us whatever the hell
they were talking about in this car
because we really didn't get to see it.
And you know, it was amazing, like whatever it was.
Like, I was pretty experienced.
Yeah, I was pretty experienced.
Oh my God, that's an amazing experience.
I know, right? She's singing again. Yeah, she's back from the
mental hospital. That was like a long time ago. I know, but it seems like yesterday. I know,
remember yesterday when we were like dancing to that song of Gina, huh? I know Carl.
Carl. Hey, Carl. Why do Carl throw himself out the door? Oh my God.
Carl threw himself out the door. Oh, Carl's rolling down the highway now.
Carl, did that feel go? Was that fun? That sounds like a fun thing to do. Yeah, it was fun.
Yeah, I was. Yeah, I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was. I was.
Yeah, push me. Yeah, push me fun. Yeah, we're all done. How are we coming? Yeah, push me out.
You want to go or I'll go.
Probably going to go.
But we didn't get that.
So whatever screw you so.
Well, actually, we did see some of what Lauren said.
They did cut to one part where Lauren in the back.
She was like, hey, Lindsay, I spoke with Everett.
This morning seemed good.
It has been good.
It looks in good spirits.
Yeah, so we could magic everything while it's Lindsey.
Is he good?
Lindsey?
Lindsey?
Lindsey? Carl? Carl, ask Lindsey. Carl, it's a good magic. Everything. Well, is he good? Lensy? Lensy? Lensy? Carl? Carl, last
Lindsay. Carl, last Lindsay about ever, ever. Ever. Good.
So they, uh, now we get Everett's thing. He's like, you know,
every housewife, I've got to have us something to sell as Lisa
Rinne told us on this year's show. It's like the only point
of doing this is if you've got something to sell.
Let's face it.
Yeah.
So, Everett's thing is not just like some shallow product,
it is actually a charity for Vets, which is nice.
But it's called the HOH.
It's called Help Our Heroes, and yeah,
for Big Brother fans, this was a little confusing.
Yeah, Big Brother fans are like,
oh my God, I already pay for the feeds.
Scree the vets.
Now I got to pay for vets too.
And it's like, yeah, I started a charity
and it's to save vets lives.
It's like, wow, is it like floating devices and, oh my god, what is it ever it?
He's like exercising.
Is that yeah?
The vets?
We're gonna run up hills.
Let's wait a second.
We're gonna run around nontalk.
Run around trees and up hills and down hills.
Finding an award doesn't mean that we don't see a hill in the sea.
I'm not gonna run up that
day we do rather why would we get in the bed with what's in every vet we'll have a
zone bottle of rosé every vet will have four people to sleep with at night so um um
uh the twins are talking about the car ride and Carl and Lauren announces that she's going
to stand up for herself.
Oh, yeah, I wonder Lauren's going to stand up for himself, which is kind of a Freudian
slip, but Lauren's going to stand up for herself and I just wrote a, because you know, this
is just going to be terrible because Lauren's version of standing up for herself will just
be like, Hey, Carl, Carl, I got back together. Oh, I really stood up for herself will just be like, Hey Carl, Carl.
I got back together. Oh, I really stood up for myself there. Carl, didn't I, Carl? Yeah, whenever these twins were in a scene together, I'd die. She's like,
yeah, well, we're pressing stuff under the rug, I guess. Me and Carl, and she's like,
yeah, like what are you gonna do? She's like, yeah, well, I'll tell you this.
Carl was definitely pursuing me and we kissed and we hooked up and we went on the day,
and he met my family, and then next thing you know know he's kissing Jacqueline and making me look stupid and I will not have that and that is just
spectral yeah that's just respectful yeah it's rude Carl it's a cause we're gonna get
to stand up for yourself Lauren you have to you can't let me do that for myself that way Lauren
yeah I'm gonna send a message to you out Carl yeah I'm gonna send a message to you
me son I'm gonna stand up to Carl yeah well don't don't let him charm you with sorry and words okay
don't let him charm you like that because he's gonna try to and you're gonna be charmed. Like the first second, the first second you talk to Carl, you're gonna get
swooned, okay? Okay, got it. I'm gonna let him charm you with words. Got it. Great idea.
No, I said don't turn. Don't get charmed by words, okay? Don't be swooned, okay? Okay,
Charmed by a smile. Charmed by a smile. No, okay. Not by a smile. No, no, no. Look at his teeth
and just think of nicotine brains. No, no. Nicotine. Nicotine helps you quit things and I'm gonna
quit this feeling about being angry at Carl great
So I'm gonna be all on board with Carl great. What my sister do with that me. This is why I'm here is why I can never leave
Brat
And as they as they're talking about Carl
They are they're like
Not flat-earning, but they've got like those what do you call those things for your hair?
They're like curling it curling iron curling iron. Yeah yeah. They are curling ironing their hair so aggressively that they're more worked up.
They get like brushing and curling and brushing and curling faster.
I don't know how they didn't get tangled.
I will not be swimming.
Oh, God, I just broke off someone with my hair again.
Damn it.
Carl.
Carl.
Carl.
Carl.
I'm going to burn you.
I'm going to burn you with this curling iron unless you curling, curling iron,
curling iron.
I will not curl curls hair
Where's Carl? He's hair curl?
Well, I would like to curl your hair. I want to make you pretty curl
So speaking of Carl curling Kyle or in the car with Kyle and Carl
Everyone has the same syllables as annoying curl curl curl curling on
It's a dumb people night on Bravo. It's like Katie, Katie Tom, Tom Karl Karl Karl Karl.
Lauren Lindsay.
Yes, they're in the car. I don't remember what happened with them in the car.
Karl's like, yeah, like being in the car with those girls, like, it's like being in the
principal's office, but this principal wants to bone me.
Yeah.
Well, I think that was in reference to Lauren saying, Hey, Carl, Carl, can
I talk to you for a moment, which is the way every episode begins with her pulling
him aside for like a powwow. Oh, yeah. So that's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is.
So she's talking, they get to the house and she pulls him aside to talk.
Yeah. And so she says him down and she just starts doing this her typical monologue.
And you're just, well, in the beginning of the summer, we were like like hook up and kissing and stuff like that and everything seemed great and it was like fun and easy and light
And then all of a sudden things cooled off and I don't understand why things cooled off
It just seems strange that a cool off Carl like I mean
I thought it was like summer so it's supposed to be hot
So it was weird. That's cool unless you put on the air conditioner in which case if depending on the air conditioner
I wish you let me know because it's gonna cost something for the bail on now
Carl like do you want to be in the air conditioner right now?
I feel like it would be nice to have a sweater right now like if I had some warning I could have a sweater Carl
Are you smoking right now and he goes um?
Are we dating are we dating just oh?
Yeah, well, I didn't say we're dating Carl, but like okay Carl it's more than flirting Carl
Okay, it's more than flirting and he goes, huh? We had a fun connection and you're great
Just like yeah, we did have fun connection then I went dark
It was like someone turned off the lights and didn't pay the electricity bill.
Why don't you pay the electricity bill, Carl?
What the hell's wrong with you?
You have a job, don't you?
Do you have a job?
All night light.
One night light, Carl?
It's dark.
You want a night light?
We can get a night light.
We don't want to go to Walmart.
Get a night light right now, Carl.
Like, night light, we can just turn the lights on, actually.
We can turn the light on.
Maybe a mask.
We'll keep the light on, but you can put a mask on.
That'll work.
I can do that.
Just feel it around, Carl.
Sometimes when you're blind, that's when you feel things
amongst Carl.
Do you feel it now?
Close your eyes.
Do you feel it now?
Is it still intense?
Is it still intense?
I'm going to put fire on your face.
Do you feel it?
Do you feel it?
Carl, Carl.
Carl's a good.
So now is where Carl totally changes it and blames him
on somebody else's.
If he has a minute, he's going to have to sit head this whole
time.
And I just want to comment right before you get into that,
that Carl is being, it's not even,
I don't know if it's condescending,
but he is being combative when he does that thing like,
well, like you mentioned before,
are we dating?
Well, I mean, that's on you.
He's a number being coffee-burp,
but he's doing this thing where he is deflecting.
He's trying to make her feel stupid about it.
He's really on the defensive in an obnoxious way
that I really hate when guys do that.
Yeah.
And so whether we be dating,
that was under the impression that we were just like
hanging on having fun.
I like that she put him in his place
and she's like, no, no, don't make it about that.
It was more than just flirting.
Like you're not my parents. And I like that she is kind of being how she's like, no, no, don't make it about that. It was more than just flirting. Like you're my parents.
And I like that she is kind of being how he's saying she is,
but she's also got enough sense to just bring him down.
Cause you know, he goes and fucks a lot of girls.
And then he's like, oh, that girl thinks we're dating now.
It's like he gets, he's one of those dudes.
He's a good old man.
And he says he's like, well, I think that you, um, it was like a lot more intense for you than it was for me. Like it was a
little bit more interest for me from you thought it was a little bit more than it was.
Carl, Carl, I never said that. I never, I never thought I, I never thought it was more
than just fun. Although here's my wedding ring I got for you to give to me.
You didn't even pay for my yogurt. I mean, just because I introduced you to my family and my entire
family doesn't mean that I was like thinking that we're in a relationship or anything. Carl. I mean,
my mom makes a guest room for everybody. Carl is an big deal. So she bases like she's
denying that she. Yeah, she's like, where did you get? Why would you think it's more
intense for me? And he says, well, I made that assumption based on like what I'm rolling
my tongue right now, but you can't see it. It's like, I made that assumption based on like what I'm rolling my tongue right now, but you can't see it. It's like, I made that assumption based on what other people were saying in a house.
Just like, who said that?
Who said that?
Who said something?
He was, huh.
Yeah.
And he's like, Christina.
And so now she's like, oh, well, that's great.
And they, they, so they show a flashback of that night at the bonfire where Jacqueline and
Carl were being super flirty with each other.
And Christina tells him in the car like, um, you're going to piss off Lauren and he's like,
well, I can do whoever I can do whatever I want. And then she's like, well, I don't cross
work as lightly, which is not her saying, oh my God, Lauren is so into you. She wants to
have a relationship. That's her being like following girl code, honestly. Um, and also she said
it in front of Jackie.
Didn't she?
She said that in front of Jacqueline.
It's not like she was like a whisper, but yeah, well, but she was in the backseat
and he was in the middle of the front seat.
So she was saying it to the whole car.
She's just like, I would not cross a workers twin.
You know, don't do that.
Yeah.
And it's like, well,
it's not married.
Yeah,
rolling my tongue.
And also the connection quote unquote went dark.
An episode before that anyway,
when Carl had tonsillitis and couldn't drink,
I was being obnoxious.
And that was after the whole wedding date situation.
So for him to blame it on Christina is actually huge bullshit.
And he's just like not manning up to the fact that sure he did lose interest because because Lauren was certainly acting way too
intensive out and no one denies that except Lauren herself but he rather than
saying like yeah you were just too much and like when I took another girl to
that wedding you you kind of were a little crazy and that made me lose interest
instead of just saying that and taking responsibility
for his emotions, he just blames on Christina
that way he can get back to building Lauren.
Well, at least he kind of redeemed a little bit
because she's like, well, that's a little crazy.
And Christina has our stuff to her place.
Christina's a great reporter.
Great, well, we're reporting on somebody else,
like Christina Plyramout.
And she, then he kind of swept it back a bit
when he was like, well,
look, I'm really good at fucking things up, you know, oh, no, he didn't tell her.
Yeah, he did.
No, he did.
He goes, he goes, uh, so I have a reputation of, uh, fucking things up, but I'm really
good at patching things up to.
So I hope I can patch it up.
So, um, can I get a kiss to get another kiss?
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's like, you know, just scared because of my feelings.
So stuff.
She's like, oh my god.
Self sabotage.
That's so hot.
It's like emotional suicide.
I just want to like save you.
What's the time?
Yeah.
So she does immediately what her sister was worried about, which is she's
swimminged.
Yeah.
She falls for Carl's very obvious charm.
And I mean, because Carl is so slick,
it's so infuriating.
He's also very cute.
And he, I think he rolls his tongue on purpose
because he's like, look what I could do.
Oh, okay.
It's like, okay, Carl, okay, if I have a tongue
I forgive you.
Well, she sees the potential of that tongue motion. I like when she tells her, she's like okay, Carl. Okay, if I have a ton of forgive too Well, she sees the potential of that tongue motion like when she does she tells her she's like
I'm a god everyone says I'm crazy, but he's crazy like who's more crazy. He's like bipolar
I'm being fucking serious. She drinks wine. Yeah
Yeah, the girl's real bipolar. He's like, oh, I have a shot to get back in that pussy. Okay, great
I'll just say blame Christina and say I'm really good at patching things up.
Can I get a kiss?
He's bipolar.
It's crazy.
Anyway, fuck you, Christina.
He's bipolar.
Hmm.
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You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or I'm all happy to mount. So it's the next day, and Lindsay and Awa are setting up for the HOH competition.
Like, this is different than how we blocked it, but like, it's okay.
I'll just roll with it, but like, I pay attention to every little detail, and it's annoying,
but I can't help it because I throw that, and that's my job.
I pay attention to like every little detail. By the way, Christina, I'm sorry I forgot to tell you that's my job. I pay attention to every little detail.
By the way, Christina, I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you that there are
before people come into our apartment tomorrow.
Sorry, but every detail, every other detail I tip-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p just like a race. It's kind of like a tough mother sort of thing. And everyone shows up. And
they have to go running through the woods. It reminded me a lot of that real world road
rules challenge season. I think it was fresh meat where they had to go running on a race
every episode.
Bach, Chris. I knew there's a reason I don't watch that show.
Yeah, that was towards the end of my watching of the challenge.
I thought that what was funny in this was Kyle's like, Oh God, look at my teammates. I mean, I'm up against Everett. He's got like green beret guys. And I've got
the workers twins. And then they cut to a guy and I wheelchair. I was like, well, I think
that guys technically worse off. By the way, I fully believe the workers twins can do
as much damage as 10 soldiers. No, though I take, although I take it back because I
soon as the race started actually basically broke her foot.
Well, if they just had like a balloon or something with Brad's face,
she could have run towards it, you know, yeah, she just
needed proper motivation.
And it's me something to focus on.
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad,
Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad, Brad Carl Brad Brad Carl yeah support poor they all come down the hill and
Mary twin is stuck up there they're like where's Mary twin they're like oh she heard herself so
she's still up there the colors like then Lauren gets the music Lauren
Lauren who's like Ashley I feel her internal pain.
I was alone.
I've been alone up here.
She's like, but you told us to keep going.
She's like, I didn't mean it.
I'm alone.
I was all alone when I sprang my ankle.
I was there by myself.
It truly is like the platoon moment.
It really is willing to foe with a hands up.
It's Ashley
Like you're calling from the hospital. I'm like, oh my god. You won't believe how bad it is
I'm in the hospital. I wrote my ankle. This is crazy. I got a cast. It's not what I'm gonna do with the cast
How am I gonna do this? I'm all alone. I'm a gas. Everyone's just listening to it. Like, oh, shit. Cargo, just get her a bell.
Lauren's like, I just feel like I feel like I'm on crutches too. Like I can feel her crutches.
Like, where are we have twin crutches? Car. Yeah, like I can walk okay, but like my soul is limping.
Like it's weird. So the twins come home from the hospital hospital and she's like oh my god
I'm an invalid. I've never even used crutches like what what is this rocks like what this not a joke like they just they they they take you
To the hospital like give you a cast and the hand you crutches and they don't show you how to use them like what is that like
There's enough training
Like I think it's pretty simple
I like then went Lauren trying to be the good twin is trying to help her sister.
Okay, we're gonna take to be a bath.
All right. So we have to just like wrap up your cast.
She's like, takes a bag to wrap up the cast.
And she's like bending the leg, the ankle.
She's like, Carol, let me just move your ankle over the firm moment.
And she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, why are you doing like that?
Oh, that literally, oh, literally hurts.
Yeah, I'll call Brad.
So the guys are just watching like, wow, another great weekend at this fucking house.
Kyle's trying to be great.
His nis can't even get reception.
He's like, oh, okay, I'm gonna do that.
So Ashley FaceTime's Brad.
And she's like, um, he goes, how are you? And she's like, oh, well, I've been a lot better.
That's for sure.
And they say I could have torn ligaments.
And, okay, that's just what happened, okay?
Like, how am I going to do this by myself?
This sucks.
Brad, you don't seem sympathetic.
Like she hasn't stopped talking, went time.
Meanwhile, his pictures like frozen,
because of the bad connection.
He's like not even connected anymore.
Brad, Brad, why is he talking to me?
Brad, Brad, Brad.
And he's like, well, this was where Brad falls.
I think in all of our eyes a little bit.
Because he's like, yeah, well, that wouldn't have even happened to you
if you were here with me.
Don't you think I feel like shit enough, Brad?
Like, you know how important this is?
Like, I'm gonna be with my sister because like,
this is the last time she's gonna be all alone in the world.
She makes terrible decisions.
It's like, you know, come home.
Don't you just want to quit and come home?
It's like every terrible parent on the reality show, you know?
Yeah.
It's like just quit, honey.
And she's like, you know why I'm here.
I'm like, for a TV show, yes, we understand.
She's like, for Lauren, I'm like, no, for a TV show, you're contractually obligated and this is your moment. So you're I'm here. I'm like for a TV show. Yes, we understand. She's like for Lauren.
I'm like, no, for a TV show, you're contractually obligated. And this is your moment. So you're
going to stay here, even if it means being away from Brad. And by the way, Brad, just because
if she had gone to San Diego, there's no guarantee that she wouldn't have broken both of her legs. So
your argument falls flat. Yeah, and fuck you, Brad. You're the one who moved in the first place.
Yeah. You're the one who moved and is making her move cross country to stay with you and leave her sister behind. So you're the dick here. Okay. You can at least
be nice for three months. Yeah. Meanwhile, Lauren is doing great job of resisting Carl's
charms by playing patty cake with him in the other room. They were literally paying patty
cake literally. So it happens. That's so Carl too.
If you're like, yeah, let's play something sort of like childhoodish.
So it looks like, you know, I'm like, sweet and, you know, lovable.
Now let's fuck Kyle.
Glad to see their smooth sailing, but it's 4 a.m.
And oh, he was saying he's glad to see Carl and Lauren or Kyle and the twin back together.
But it's 4 a.m.
And I have an empty bed for the first time all summer and it's brutal.
I was like, dude, go wax your pussy.
Like seriously.
The jerk off you would.
The jerk off.
Let's call it, get some lotion and deal with it.
We're just going to sleep.
How about that?
Yeah.
Just go sleep.
Okay.
Just go sleep.
Like literally, I can't, like literally my walls are up. up. So then it's Sunday and now it's time for Sunday,
fun day and there's a party bus and there's a stripper pull ever. It's like, yeah, you know,
I have to get a stripper pull. Nothing says party day like making your own
jugs of drinks and carrying them daintily onto the party bus.
I made a rosé cocktail. Yeah.
to the party. I mean, Rosé cocktail.
Yeah.
I've got peppermint lemonade snuffs.
Yeah, it's like all these different flavors.
We were.
Got some leftover rosé from the H.O.H. competition.
So Jacqueline calls and she's like,
Hi, I'm on the Jitna.
No, we got a stripper call.
Jacqueline.
I'm on the jet.
Now,
the jet.
It's going so fast.
Oh, by the way, I know Jacqueline is one of those girls like, yeah, I'm a guy's guy and
girls like to get me because I can just.
But this is also a reason people don't like you bitch.
Okay.
She they show her in her
city scene when she's like, I'm at the FedEx and everyone's like, I'm on the phone. And then they
show her at work, which is a fit model. And they're like, your waist is just a fraction too small.
It's like, that's why people hate you. Oh, you know, I love a good small space. I'm so sorry. My waist is too small.
I'm out of jittna.
So everyone's getting sloppy in this party bus because they go to this one.
They go to a brewery.
They're lowering in car.
They're floating in the brewery.
Everyone's getting just drunker and drunker and drunker.
Jacqueline joins them at the brewery.
They wind it back on the bus.
And Jacqueline starts totally doing her like pole dancing,
routine like, oh, you know, I'm just a big fan.
Don't mind me as like her lives are doing a full split.
And she's like swallowing the entire bus with her butthole.
I'm like, girl, you are going deep.
And then cause like, yeah,
Jacqueline goes from zero to 105 seconds and I like it because it keeps me guessing.
You white people. Don't you have to find yourself saying that I say at least four times in the
show every episode, like, oh my god, white people. Exactly. So then Kyle has now wasted and since
he didn't get any last night,
he's extra horny. So we just goes up to Jackson starts making out with her and they just
start making out. And then things are just like crazy. Everyone is making out shirts are
coming off. The only one who's not making out is Ashuse sitting there with her foot up
on the seat. And while every other person, they're just like just sloppy white people
making out everywhere. I like when Carl goes, yeah, of course it's a stripper pole.
They call it a party best, not a chill bus.
Good one, Carl.
Carl, that was funny, Carl.
Carl, is that getting in the show?
Did you see that to producer Carl?
Carl, do you make use of the truck jawline?
Actually, what's really happening is the producers are funny
because every time they cut to Lauren and Carl,
they played this magical chime of romance.
Because you know, well, even though they're being all sloppy, and Carl is such a spendgall, he's going, yeah, I'm learning a lot.
I'm learning like, you are.
And then they start making out.
So they get back home and everyone's wasted.
And now Kyle has just been making out with Jacqueline this whole time.
It's like, you know, Jacqueline's hot,
but I'm sobering up and I'm questioning,
when am I not with Amanda?
I don't feel like single Kyle anymore.
I'm like, that's really nice to try and get some
Pase say from Amanda now when she's watching this on TV.
But you're really just saying that
because you know Jacqueline ain't gonna f you.
Yeah, exactly.
I know she's not.
And also, no one cares about your Amanda existential crisis.
This, this, this arc that you have
is the worst arc of the show.
You know, literally no one cares.
Literally no one cares.
Literally no one cares.
That I'm trying to cling onto my youth with
will end up loving me.
It's like none of, find someone age appropriate
with a goddamn job. So the next morning of them find someone age appropriate with the god damn job.
So the next morning is time to go back to the city, which means we got a reprise of the classic summer house song. You know, you know, you know, you know, they play that every episode. That's why I
mention it. You know, you know, you know, Carl, you know, Carl, you know, Carl, you know,
Carl. It's written by the workers twins. They have an ass cap loyalty on it.
And everyone's talking on the phone like, Oh my God, my great machine.
And I made some plays.
I know, right.
And then they got a, they got a facial bar with the twins.
And it's just these poor facialists are the cogees.
And we're going to have to give out free aspirin to the rest of the people in this bar right now.
Yeah, they had the vapor in those twin spaces only because they thought I might shut them up
Yeah, they're like this close in your mouth like this has nothing to do with your skin
This is just purely to make you stop talking. Yeah, this could hurt. Here's a ball gag
Carl you have a ball gag too. We've been slipping like we've part of it. I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it.
I'm not going to be a part of it. I'm not going to be a part of it. I'm so. Okay. Like a family Jennifer love you. It like she's so good.
Yeah. It's always a sharp air.
Remember she's a never seen girls.
Oh my God.
What a love.
I was so good.
I'm going to show you.
So good.
I know.
Carl would love that.
So I think Carl is like, you think I'm like Regina George.
Yeah.
It's like I'm like that.
It's starting to feel for real now.
Like it's like setting in for real now because I'm going to move and I'm going to see Brad.
I'm like, I'm not even going to see you.
What are you going to do without me?
Like you can't even like put a fork full of dinner to your mouth.
Like what's going to happen here? Literally like my Mean Girls DVD has been in the player and I
don't know how to get it out. Once you're gone, you always sit down. Yeah, you never knew how to
take DVDs out of the plate. I don't know how to push buttons. I got them as VHS. Okay, I hate buttons.
VHS is the best. Remember our VCR? Remember I used to call it Ronda? Like then, like then, Zant. For
the long time, I thought, let me about our VCR. Veronica Cole Ronda.
So Twin, she's like, I think Carl's a,
Carl's a good person to eat down.
She goes, oh my God, I know that you were going to do that.
I told you, like you immediately forgave him.
I was like two seconds.
You're like, I forgot.
Yeah.
And she's like, I can't believe Christina was sabotaged.
I mean, maybe that's the reason things cooled off.
You know, like it would be one thing if I said to you, like, um,
I want you to be my confident.
Yeah.
You know, that's anything about Christina.
She thinks she's being a good friend, but she's actually a terrible friend.
I think that Christina might be the one of the worst people I've ever met in my entire life.
Yeah, me too.
I think that too.
Yeah.
And if I want to have a conversational car, I would have one as I did.
Cause I took care of that situation.
I was really in control.
Yeah, I was my polar.
Yeah, but like, car was bipolar and Christina's like a vicious, but she's not a malicious
vicious. You know what I'm saying? Like she's totally nice though. Yeah, she's not malicious, but she's
come she's conniving and I would never do that to you. Yeah, yeah. I you know, I've we've known
Christina for like five years now and so we know her really well and we met Carl two months ago. So
I'm really glad that we're taking Carl's side of her. Christina's because I think it's more important
to give Carl the benefit of the docs. He's new. I mean, I'm giving him the benefit of the penis, so.
Yeah, so basically, the Lauren just goes in on Christina.
And this seems to be the pattern on this show
with both Lauren and Lindsay, which is these two women
who are, I don't wanna say, well,
Lauren, Lindsay's definitely an encoder-penn relationship,
but in both cases, these women are kind of putting the guy
in front of them.
They're like blinded by love.
And so rather than look at the guy's faults,
they'd rather blame another girl.
And in this case, Lindsay, I mean, Christina
gets it from both ends here now.
Yeah.
Well, that's why you never help.
Yeah.
That's why you stay away from girls like that, honestly.
Yeah, the girls, they never give advice
like break up with him because they immediately go back
and they're like, well, Ronny said to break up with you.
So, and then you have to see them,
and then they hate you because you advise
their girlfriend to break up with them.
I mean, we've all been there, not fun.
So, yeah, well, that's also, by the way,
by the way, that's also a sign of codependency
in my non-professional opinion,
because basically what happens is the guy,
the guy is basically the one who turns the girl
against the other girl,
and the girl is okay with it, you know?
So like, it's basically, by doing that,
by pushing away the friends,
it's creating more of a dependence on the guy.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I want to call it.
Like a piece of guys never want you to hang out
with your friends.
Yeah.
That would come up with some reason
that you should be hanging out with them.
Yeah.
So Kyle and Twinn and Kar, they pick up Jacqueline.
Oh, I thought, this maybe, for some reason,
this made me laugh because when Kyle, Jacqueline,
and Lauren aren't getting in the car,
are getting in the car, getting in the car.
Lauren's excited.
She's like, oh, yeah, I'm excited because. Lauren's excited. She's like, oh, yeah,
I'm excited because Ash is bringing Alexis. I was like, oh, wow, that's cool. She has
Alexis. And like, oh, it's an actual girl named Alexis. So we are always leave early
and traffic always gets us.
Frick.
Carl, what do you think about traffic? Is traffic worse? Carl? Carl, what do you think
about it?
Frick in worse traffic. Carl, do you ever listen to 1010 wins? They have good traffic
reports. You're like, oh, you're more like CBS radio. What do you think about it? Freakin' worse traffic. Carl, do you ever listen to 1010 wins? They have good traffic reports. Do you like, or you're more like CBS radio?
What do you think, Carl?
Carl wants the best one.
Famic, Carl.
Christina's riding with Lindsay and Everett.
And she's like, it was shockingly fine and mellow.
And I was like, oh, just wait, girl.
Just wait.
Good luck.
She's like, sorry I missed your ho party,
but I was like totally reporting on Polar Miles.
So huge news.
Well, my cousin, Sissy, she had a war move and we had to do a full cover story and Christina family news network.
So, so they all get to the house and Alexis arrives. She's like, guys, Brought a beer, bang.
I'm like, yeah, another 40 yearyear-old with a beer bong.
You're gonna fit right in with this crowd, Alexis.
Come on in, honey, have a seat.
Secretly, I wanted a partake.
I was like, ooh, I haven't done a beer bong in like 15 years.
That would be fun.
Well, you can't say the same for these people.
Yeah.
They did them like yesterday.
So she comes in, she's like, yeah, I was supposed to walk in
and say hello, geeks. And they're like, ah, ha was supposed to walk in and say hello geeks.
And they're like, uh-huh.
And I think that was the third time this episode I was like, oh, white people.
Yeah, in Lindsay's like, I can't believe she almost called us a geek.
Like, alright, what's up with that?
I'm not going to fight with her right now.
I'm not going to fight with her right now.
I'm not going to fight with her right now.
I mean, but the better the dog. So Everett and Everett and Lindsay,
they give, they feel bad about what happened
to Ashley's foot, so they give her like
one of those little scooters and Ashley's so proud.
She's like, oh my God, oh my God, I named my new scooter.
I named it Prashley.
Got it?
Prashley.
Good one, Ashley.
I like that they're like, well, we're gonna split up
because some of us are going out to dinner
because I really need
Alexis to have a lobster roll. So go, okay, white people. Ding, ding, ding.
So Lindsay and Evelyn, Evelyn, Evelyn, sorry, just write little names.
Yeah, yeah, I do this to Eribe Eve too, so I know what you're talking about. Yeah, so Lindsay and the boys,
which is Everett, Steven and Kyle go out to dinner at KZ.
Yeah, the gay show's up late and he's like,
I need it actually a state-of-way on purpose
last weekend because I needed a weekend
to rest my patient's love all.
And for whoever said by the way that Steven looks like
he's going to his own personal season of Big Brother,
it could not be more appropriate
that there's an HOH competition in this episode.
Exactly.
He's like, I can't believe I missed the HOH competition.
The actual HOH competition,
in my fantasy Big Brother season.
And he's also the one he's trying to manipulate
people against each other,
but then it gets turned on him.
And he was like the HOH,
but then his key's gonna get taken away
and he's gonna be up on the black this week.
And yet he doesn't really care either way.
Yeah. Well, at least I've't really care either way. Yeah.
I was like, well, at least I've got my own bathroom again.
Yeah.
So Lindsay, when they're at dinner,
Lindsay's like, I'm at dinner with the boys.
Just, well, I like it.
I'm like, shut up, Lindsay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Enough with that.
So the rest of it is cutting between boy dinner
and girl dinner.
So girls, they're like, oh my God,
with girls, hey girl dinner, yeah girl. Um girls, they're like, oh my God, we girls. Hey, girl dinner.
Yeah, girl. Um, and Alexis is like, so chocolate. Beer, bang. What about your life? What about
your love life? And she's like, wow, I didn't really know like, I don't, I just like stuck my tongue
down, curl straight because I was feeling faster. But faster, I just felt like sticking my tongue down cause throat.
Cause I felt thirsty.
But that's all I did.
Cause I'm just a flirt.
Christine is like, what are you wearing?
I'm wearing an erection.
How do you feel about my wife getting hit in the head by a sheet dancer?
I want to get hit in my head with the sheet, but I'll get hit with the under the sheets.
If you know what I'm saying, I got hit with so many sheets that I don't Moana, I just man.
And Christina's like, did you hook up and then he comes back to the boy dinner and Lindsay,
Jack and Carl made out. What does that mean?
Oh, yeah, so Lindsay's telling the bull.
Yeah, I actually, oh, okay, sorry.
That's right, right?
Lindsay's telling the boys that Carl made out with Jacqueline
and they cast a Stephen.
He's like, oh, they made out.
What are we in fifth grade?
Call me with someone, fucks.
Yeah.
And then Carl, I came back for this piss poor story.
Yeah. So he was basically like, well, what's going on with the twin anyway?
You're not even underwear. And Carl's like, um, well, you know, she's a nice girl.
And he goes, have you ever seen her in the city? No.
Well, if you didn't want to see her in the city, then you don't see her in the city.
And after like 10 weeks, like, still didn't see her in the city. I you don't see her in the city. And after like 10 weeks, like still didn't see her in the city, I mean,
we saw her freak out after Wisconsin, which I started that sell.
And you're more and more and you're totally getting caught right now.
Well, it's not even really, well, he doesn't really get caught actually because
he mentions this thing, but he, he, he, he mentions the wedding gate
situation in passing.
And this
is Everett's chance to, to jump in. And he's like, well, geek, Steven, you know, you
just like to fan the flames, like, you know, wait with, like, what, with Lauren and Carl
over wedding gate? It's sort of like what you tried to, we tried to share with me and Lindsay
last week. And you said I was in bed with four chicks and goes, I didn't say that. I said
you woke up with four people.
And how, by the way, and how Steven could even remember two weeks later, the people versus
girls, and that he was actually right. And they should have flashback. He said people
was shocking. And then I wasn't suggesting that he was cheating. I was suggesting that
he was cheating and possibly gay. So. So then everyone's like,
ugh.
So then we cut back to the girls.
No, first you have to go.
That was a complete fallacy.
Yeah, it was a complete fallacy geek.
Yeah.
Bleat.
Complete.
Okay, back to girls, sorry.
Then the girls are gossiping.
And they're just, they're talking,
they're, you know, it, just general gossip about stuff.
And then Christina says like, whoa,
last time I was here, Carl was picking up
with that random girl and Lauren goes,
mm, we don't know about that for sure.
I was like, oh, here can be alt-fac.
Yeah, she's like, I'm pretty sure there was.
And she's like, um, I have to say, Christina,
I think you've exaggerated a lot of things about Carl.
Last weekend, we had a combo.
And he said that people in the house
were getting involved in a relationship
and saying, I'm an obsessive bunny boiler.
And he said it was a year.
She's like, uh, Christine's like,
let me try to do that.
Maybe I'll cry face again and that'll fix things.
Get to the boy dinner.
And Carl's like, well, maybe there was just maybe something was just
lost in translation.
Yeah.
Were you in bed with four people or not?
Okay.
Who's up to the house?
Who's up to the house?
Kyle.
Well, Kyle basically said like, I mean, I mean, you said you're in bed with like four
girls, but they were mutual friends.
And then that's when Lindsay starts to really lose it.
She's like,
who's bad with that in the house?
Who's bad with that in the house?
He's like, it was Kim.
I mean, you know, geek, you know, classic geek, Kim.
It's super geek bed.
Like who cares?
Ladies Kim.
I'm like, who the hell is Kim?
So then Lindsay starts freaking,
she's like, so you slept in Kim's bed,
I'm right?
Kim? Oh, all people. Kim's, she's like, so you slept in a cam's bad aura, cam,
I'm all people, cam's bad, and he's like,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, like what are you insinuating, geek?
And then they just cut to Kyle, being like,
the sea bass is amazing.
And Carl was like, the sea bass is fucking legit.
And Carl's like, God, I wish I had some Amanda sauce.
Carl's like, yeah, I wish this sea bass wasn't in love with me.
But I'm really good at patching.
I'm really learning a lot of sea bass.
Like, for instance, did you know that you're really called a Patagonian toothfish?
Carl.
Carl, did you call me a Patagonian sea fish?
I'm pretty sure a waitress, the restaurant told me to eat it.
Demite Carl.
So, um, Everett,
when now that Everett has been cornered in his lie,
because he let it all the stuff slip.
He does what any good,
co-dependent semi abusive boyfriend does,
tries to turn it on the girl.
He's like, well, maybe you should get a mirror
and build a your behavior for once.
Like, okay, I'll validate my behavior
when I'm sleeping in my guy friends band.
So what if I did that?
Cause I'm gonna do that now.
And guess what?
You're not in a relationship time straight
and you don't know how I feel.
Oh, I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
Bye.
Well, I like, she starts when she starts saying
like the other guys, she's like,
you don't know how it feels.
You don't know how it feels.
And it's like, you don't know.
And you don't know.
And you know, and she's doing like a little,
am I tapping the desk?
I'm afraid I'm getting worked up
and start tapping the desk.
Sorry, but.
You're not in a relationship. And you're not not in a relationship and you're not in a relationship.
As you're not in a relationship. And she's doing this little finger point,
you know, just sort of to emphasize. She's not, she doesn't have her arm like reached across
table. She's doing like a little thing. And just to emphasize her statements and ever goes,
you're pointing your finger like a wild woman. It's finally Lindsey gets up and goes, I'm gonna sleep at a
guy's house tonight with a guy in a bed. And how do you
feel about that? I was like, that was actually really funny
Lindsey. And I applaud that. And the host is were like, I
just like the son of the host is as she laughed, they're like,
graph. She is really putting the box into go box. I'm sorry,
we have to unseat your table until all of your party is there
I had a carton is coming in shortly and we cannot have you people here
We need all your seats
We need all your seats, which is funny because you all need to take a seat
So meanwhile as if this weren't already amazing enough over at the house, full on
girl fight is happening where Lauren is grilling Christina about Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl,
Carl, Carl got freaked out.
Caught you really freaked out Carl.
Why'd you do that, Chris?
Didn't you freak you out?
Now this is where I, now this is very unlike the gay because Christina really doesn't even
know what she's talking about.
Just Christine has talked so much shit.
She has no idea and she actually likes Lauren and she wasn't trying to hurt Lauren
And this wasn't even a shit talking in moments. You basically was like Carl
If anything she's trying to help Carl be like Carl
You're gonna make her mad like be warned. Yeah, and she's gonna try and murder you Jacqueline
So I wouldn't do this and so she doesn't even really remember what bad things she said.
And so she's like, well, you talked to her mom,
maybe we haven't freaked him out.
She's like, what did I say?
She's like, I don't know, like,
are things good with you and Carl?
She's like, wait, so you're saying that he's mad
because I asked how things are with you guys, like, really?
So you think you have, you think you haven't fallen in love
with Carl because of me?
Yeah, she's like, well, you don't need to be asking Carl about Carl.
I can ask Carl about Carl.
Like, for instance, every time I go, Carl, Carl, Carl, that's like me.
You shouldn't be asking Carl about Carl.
Carl, do you like one that I can't ask you about Carl?
Carl.
And Christine is like, it's not because of me.
It's because he's not that into you.
So I was like, oh, girl, bet a slime out some Miranda lines.
Because she's such a Miranda and that she would quote Miranda and this is hilarious and correct by the way.
So then Lauren does when any good girl does which is totally drag her other girl friend
down and so she's like well you know like Christina you talk a lot like for instance you
know you're the one who came up to me and said that Jaclyn was throwing herself a car
all and then Jaclyn's like shut the fuck up Christina.
The Christina is like you're rude. yourself a carl and then jacuzzi like shot the fuck up Christina the Christina
is like you're rude yes you're like did you or did you not flirt at the bonfire
shit the fuck up she's like you said the fuck up I was appalled after that
bonfire appalled it was amazing it was like this two pronged crazy attack on
the show happening all at once. And I was very happy.
Yeah. I think Christina is, I think Christina is being hung out to drive by these people.
She, you know, she medals, but I don't think she medals as much as they say. I think that
she's just, she says stuff, but they're all such. Well, she says, I think she does. I mean,
I totally think she does medal and she does say a lot of snarky things
and stuff like that, but she's not lying.
Or she's not like doing things hurtfully.
Well, maybe she did that time she was telling somebody,
what was her last thing that she got in trouble for?
Oh, where she called the girl whore.
Okay.
But she at least said that to her to their faces
and she was kind of kidding, you know?
I feel like they're getting mad at her
because they're mad at each other.
But instead of really being mad at each other,
they're taking it out on her.
Whereas the gay guy, that was his bad.
Like that was way lower than anything Christina had done.
That's not cool.
Yeah, I just want to fuck people up on purpose.
I just feel like sometimes, you know,
I think Christina's an easy punching bag.
And she, I mean, she definitely does,
she does have her way like when she was really mad at Lindsay
and she went around that entire party one time
and they like did she hear her,
that Lindsay and I've heard her moving in together.
Like isn't that crazy?
She didn't tell her on her own remains, that weird.
Like she does, she's just passive aggressive.
That's it.
She's passive aggressive and she's not confrontational.
And when you're passive aggressive
and non-confrontational, people view it as meddling
because that is, I guess it is meddling, fine, it's meddling.
But I think it is worth it.
I think it's worth it, because Steven's like,
I guess you're a boyfriend and just told me
that he slapped a far people, or he's like,
whoops, got a text, he's got a date at the wedding,
pretend you didn't see it.
Like, he was just being a bitch, where she could be way worse.
She could be like, oh my God, Everett,'m glad you make it made up because you should hear the things
She says about you when you're broken up. Yeah, I think we're seeing it is gossipy. I don't think that she's
Meddling and if she is meddling. I don't think in these cases. She was being meddling
Yeah, yeah, they could have called her out on a lot of things, but they're calling her out on the wrong things
Yeah, exactly. I think in this, I think she was just trying to
support these girls, but she supported girls who are just ready to cut down other girls, and
you're just never going to win in that situation. Yeah, so now Lauren's yelled at Christina,
so Carl's fine somehow. So Lauren hates. So Carl's not gonna totally cheat on you a million times and over the course of your relationship. Okay.
Exactly. So Lauren hates Christina now and now by default, Ashley hates Christina now Jacqueline hates Christina Lindsay hates Christina. Every hates Christina Kyle is starting to hate Christina.
Well, fortunately for Christina we love her. These these men that they're all trying to you know
for Christina. We love her.
These men that they're all trying to, you know, ignore their hatred for by hating Christina
instead are going to fuck them over next week and then they'll all be back to bitching to
Christina.
Exactly.
And by the way, even though Stephen has been meddling and stirring up shit, you can tell
he's so bored.
It's like, you almost have to be happy for him because what else does he have to do?
I feel like Stephen's bored in any situation.
He's just one of those people.
He could be on a roller coaster and he'd be like,
ugh, this roller coaster is gross.
What do you do?
You went upside down.
Show me something that not every other
roller coaster can do seriously.
This roller coaster is like literally doing nothing for me.
Like why am I in here?
I should have just rolled a coaster at home.
Whoa.
Wow, centrifugal force.
That's amazing.
Congratulations.
You know about physics.
OK.
I'll be on the merry-go-round.
And that's called D&G.
Showing through there.
We've all got a little bit of it.
Yeah.
And that's why we do this show.
Even in Christina are my favorites.
And actually, I like love this show.
I love actually everyone on it.
As much as we call them idiots and whatever,
I really love them all. Yeah, but they're it. As much as we call them idiots and whatever, I really love them all.
Oh yeah, but they're fun idiots.
And they still do really stupid things like pierbongs.
I mean, I can be down for that.
And I also love a lobster roll.
So here you go.
And they look like they are actually having so much fun.
So often on this show that I actually have a good amount of FOMO.
I like it.
I want to go out there.
I want to go out there and like do beer bongs with them and like, I'm always on FOMO. I want to go out there and do beer bongs with them.
You're on my way with FOMO.
Guys, thank you so much for listening.
We will be back next Friday with two more weeks of Summer House.
Thank you so much.
This is bringing us to the end of our week.
And what a fun when it was.
It was a great week.
Oh my God.
So much good shit on TV this week.
Everybody, thanks so much for your support.
We will talk to you next time.
Bye everyone.
Bye everyone.
Bye everyone.
Bye everyone.
Bye everyone.
Bye everyone.
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