Watch What Crappens - #413 Summer House: The Final Carl (?)
Episode Date: March 16, 2017Summer House comes to an end. Will Kyle lose his relationship over an argument about Justin Bieber? Will Carl finally be a man a twin can count on? Will Christina’s arm anger choreography e...ver find its audience? Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Also, check out Ronnie’s new TrashTalkTV RHOBH Audiobook podcast at tttv.podbean.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hello and welcome to the Watch What Crappens podcast.
The podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeel,
Braves. I'm Ronny Karram from The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills,
Audiobooks on Ateens,
and also The Rose Prick's Bachelor podcast,
which is wrapping up the season 21 this week.
And I'm with the gorgeous, my gorgeous talented little friend Ben Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blender podcast.
Hello, bin.
Well, hello, it's 317 AM.
Yes, we are doing a nice late night New York recording with Ben.
nice late night New York recording with Ben.
Yes, an anticipation of a giant norr Easter that could knock out the power of my parents place.
We are recording late at night.
So that way everyone could have the podcast's content that they so desire.
Yes, you know, it's a summer house season finale and you know, such a fun show.
We had a great time with this show.
And I am so sad that it's over.
Of course, the end of it
was beautiful. Not every reality show has a very satisfying ending, but this one did for me.
Well, I was mainly satisfied. I still had some issues, though, we'll get to when we get into it.
But overall, I absolutely love this show.
And I think one thing that's really hilarious is, you know, we've been pretty adamantly
team Christina all season long because we think she's like hilarious in her cause and frustration
with everyone around her.
And you know what I've noticed, when we start doing our summer house recaps in the beginning, like the whole cast was like, oh my
god, this podcast is hilarious. Never retweeting us and tweeting at us and liking everything
we did. And slowly one by one, they all start dropping off, I think, as they became aware
of how much we like Christina.
And also, when Dix we are, like like would you be able to drive around listening to someone be so mean to you? I would I would cry
I know of course I would not be able to I can dish. I can't take it. I mean I can't take it all I was surprised
I was surprised that Carl hung on for as long as you did
I mean ever it even came on to our Facebook page and was like he was he was being cool
And he was making cracking jokes about Miss Saigon, but you know, actually Lindsey, Lindsey still likes things here and there.
Oh, I was gonna say I think Katie Kuzorla helped kill half of that love.
Oh, yeah.
Katie really went in and I felt that I kind of like, yeah, that was so fun.
What a fun memory we've had with this show, you know, over the years.
As long as the workers twins still like us, that will make me happy.
And Kyle, Kyle, I think Kyle still will, will, will like something
here and there on Instagram.
But it's just funny to see how the, how the universal love that we received
at the top of the season has faded.
Yeah.
And Christine, it was like, I don't think you're going to like me anymore.
After this week, we're like, are you kidding? We went from liking you to making you our
new hero. You will be on a flag. Okay.
If we ever have the flag, the flag will just have its hands out like that one, one new emoji
and be like, you're a flag. If anyone understands talking too much shit and then becoming an
outcast and not even understanding why even after you know all the shit you've talked it's us
But that being said, I mean she talks shit, but it wasn't really above and beyond
It certainly wasn't at the level of Stephen who I don't want to jump ahead
But Stephen laid in the episode is like why you've been meddling with everyone. So that's what you get
It's like Stephen you two seconds seconds ago just came in and told
everyone about Carlos up to.
Anyway, I just have a lot of feelings.
I feel like he did that in a footlock or sweatshirt.
So he came in looking like a referee,
so they had to listen to him.
And he's like, straight people will listen to the rap,
that I know.
And he's like the gay.
And so we gay sometimes get a little bit of freedom in those situations because they just love having us around. Yeah, but there's supposed to be awful people
They're really sad. It's like okay. I'll take that
They probably also feel bad that they've burdened him with all their petty shit all summer long. I'm like well
It's kind of obnoxious about what he just did, but
He deserves it. Yeah, he's the only one not getting laid so
just what he just did, but he deserves it. Yeah, he's the only one not getting laid.
So so we open with Amanda and Kyle.
Kyle has brought Amanda over and decided to be honest.
So she's like, um, how in like you like feel?
And like twice you found out like I was making up with like other people.
Like he's like, um, what's in twice?
Friends of Carl came in from LA last weekend. like other people like. He's like, um, what's him twice?
Friends of Carl came in from LA last weekend and I went on a date, spur of the moment.
And she's like, whoa, you went on a date?
He's like, yeah, but I knew it was good
because I felt really bad after the date.
And she's like, and that was like a sign,
a sign that I like Amanda.
She's like, no thanks. She's like, how many times do you feel bad after you do something to really sketchy Kyle?
I like what she goes, um, this is bullshit. It's like the
past tense of a bullshitting. Yeah. What else Kyle? Um, I
cannot believe I ditched my friends to come out to be with a guy who considers himself
single.
I was like, how many times has he given you the break up with you on fucking other people
modeling?
And you still surprised.
I mean, what this guy is a gentleman.
He's told you before and he's bought you muscles while he didn't.
Like, I don't know what else the guy's supposed to do.
She, and he was actually training her worse
earlier in the summer when he was using her as just like a fuck
buddy and telling her, no, no, no, we're not an item,
but let's fuck anyway.
And she's like, okay.
And now he's like, actually, you know what?
I realized I actually would be like, let's do so.
I made up with some people and let's do something.
So Kyle, I can't take this anymore.
Yeah, she's like bull shot.
Bull shot.
And he's like, well, look, I'm like figuring myself out.
And all I know is that after last weekend, I want you here.
It's the last weekend, Kyle.
It's the very last weekend.
They're all against it here.
I won't fuck someone else for one weekend. They're all they can stay here. I won't fuck someone else for one weekend.
By the way, I know it's the season finale, but they are talking so fatalistically in this episode.
You know, they're acting as if once summer's over, they're all just going to disappear to different parts
of the galaxy. Like, I'm like, you're just going to just fucking fucking Manhattan. It's fine.
Like an asteroid's going to hit on Tuesday.
I can't do this anymore. Like earth is about to be over. So
there's strange size in my activity. Didn't you see the trailer for Geostorm coming out?
And she's like, I just don't even want to be here, which is probably code for, okay, so in about 30 minutes we can have sex then. Just not right now.
So they cut to lensi and hammering, bam!
Like, do you want to go out, man!
And then they show them like boning in the hot tub.
Like, loosing every just fucking all over the house before they start throwing glasses
and threaten to get each other.
I also liked that when AfroKyle had this talk with Amanda,
she then goes down to, she's downstairs.
The whole cast is pretty much in the workers' room
in the twins' room.
And he's like, wow, he's got to be down there for like an hour
and a half.
Wow, that's been like an hour and a half.
Wow, what's going on down there for an hour and a half?
So Kyle comes up and he's like, so guys, I told Amanda that I want to be in a relationship
and go, oh, they all start like clapping.
And he's like, yeah, but she's upset and married twins like, but Kyle, can't you see why she's
upset Kyle?
Like you can totally see what she's upset Kyle, right?
Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, you see what she's upset Kyle?
Kyle.
Cause like one minute, he's like, yes, I see.
Yeah, cause one minute you're like, yeah, I'm out of that. And then the next minute you're yes, I see. Yeah, because one minute you're like, yeah, I'm at that.
And then the next minute you're like, fuck someone else.
And the next minute you're like, hey, I'm at, he's like, I know.
I know.
Kyle, you see what I'm saying?
Kyle, you see what I'm saying?
Yeah, do you see what I'm saying?
You see, it's going to be so hard not being around my twin.
This is like crazy.
Like no one understands.
You understand, Kyle?
He's crazy.
Kyle, you don't understand.
I wonder if you're a man of shundersand.
I'm not saying.
We should ask a man of shundersand.
Kyle, where's Amanda?
Is Amanda in the pool?
Amanda, why don't you go up and call you down?
Now you guys go up and now both.
No, no, no, shake hands on the platform.
OK, now you come up and you go down.
Carl, do you know why she's mad?
Kyle?
Kyle.
Carl, explain to Kyle why she's mad.
Carl, Kyle, listen, Carl.
Where's Carl?
He's Carl here yet.
Oh, Carl comes tomorrow.
Carl.
Future Carl.
Tell past Kyle why he's mad.
Cut to Lindsay and never it never like fucking into towel rack
You know there's oh yeah
Yeah, yeah
Over and over Lindsay you're such a gig. It's such a big shot up
Amazing fucking you on a lazy suit when you're the least lazy as Susan
I have a fuck ton of lazy
Who Susan
How about this how about I fuck someone named lazy robber on a Susan go for it good fucking luck
That's a fallacy there's no such thing as Lee's Robert.
That's an illegitimate illicit fallacy, huh?
Geek.
So, um, but I did like that, um, when, when, when everyone leaves the room, uh,
whatever's talking to Kyle, the twins go, everyone needs to not be involved tonight.
Everyone go get sleep. They cut to Kyle. The twins go, everyone needs to not be involved tonight. Everyone go get sleep.
They got to Christina.
They're like, we're basically saying this
for your benefit Christina.
Just don't talk to Kyle on Amanda.
You don't talk to Kyle on Amanda.
So Amanda, who is just like,
I got to do this anymore.
I like to want to be here.
Like I guess took a lap of the pool or something and now she's like
Well Kyle
Obviously, I'm like still here and I like make the best of it
But it doesn't mean I'm like over this or like accepting because I like what a puke
I'm angry and I'm shaking, but I'll cuddle. Okay, that's cuddle
That's cuddle.
So you tell him, girl, you tell. Yeah.
So the next morning, it's like pool time, and I just love Ashley.
I don't know why this stuff is so stupid, but to me, it just makes me laugh.
Ashley is sitting there in the pool.
She's like, it's not the summer.
It's not the Sunday scarries.
It's the summer scarries.
Carl, I have a summer scarries.
Laura, do you have summer scarries?
Last weekend before I get to go home to Brad and whatever happens this weekend, it's done
Brad just that firm voice. Yes, I know scary Brad summer scares Brad. Do you like what you're scary Brad Brad?
Brad, do you have fall scary or like summer scary or Sunday scary? What's scarier?
Sunday scares are summer scares Brad. Do you have winter scarier sometimes Brad Brad?
Brad Brad, do you understand what it's like that I feel for my sister do you understand Brad do you understand Brad we're not connecting on face
It's based on Brad yeah face some scares but Brad oh my god I can't believe face times about to be over over
Isn't it crazy that like we're eastern time zone brats like California time zone like Brad do you have time zone scares Brad?
And then Carl arrives and kisses kisses between
Carl if you throw me in the pool Carl Carl if you throw me in the pool Carl Carl Carl Carl if you throw in the pool I am very protective Carl very protective of Lauren Carl
mean Carl are firing in a good place Carl and the clock is against me and Carl Carl
Hey Lauren I hear the clock is against you, Lauren. Do you have the clock, Gary's Lauren?
Yeah, the clock's like, Carl.
Totally gets me.
I have like clock sads.
Carl, are you watching Beating the Beast?
Is the clock talking to you?
Carl.
Carl.
Hey, hey, there's a talking clock.
Get the gay out here.
Where's the cheap up, Carl?
Where's the cheap up?
We're finally going to friend for you, okay?
Carl. Hey, gay. Carl. Carl. Can you get gay?
So everybody's getting ready.
The big night out. So everybody's getting ready. And Christine is like, um,
this summer has been extra ruggle for me. And I liked it when Christina is talking to us. she uses her arms in like a community theater way.
She's like, that summer has been a struggle for me.
I'm like, what are you directing for?
Perfect.
She's presenting, present with the right.
You're talking to someone's like iPhone camera at this point,
you know, it's probably like some like intern
who filmed us.
They changed the lighting on her.
Do you notice that? I noticed that because what else is there to notice? like some like intern who filmed the film. They changed the lighting on her.
Did you notice that? I noticed that because what else is there to notice? So, uh, yeah, so Christina's going through it.
Oh, by the way, the other thing I was going to say is when Lauren's talking about cars, like,
you know, we're finally starting to click and it's the end of the summer and, you know,
it's just like the clock is working against us. The clock. I'm like, again, set again,
the same thing. Just meet up in the, again, set again, the same thing.
Just meet up in the city.
You can live in the same city.
This is not the real world where you just like scatter.
Just go to like a restaurant.
Yeah, it's not like you're in Paris.
Where Carl doesn't cheat on you.
It's like, yeah, it's different.
Yeah, it's not like you're going to Paris and he's going to follow jazz career. Yeah,
she's like, I'm going to advise a movie in Paris. I'm going to one man show. It's called Carl.
Carl. All the dialogue is just Carl. Carl Carl. I tried to see Carl in the city, but all we do is the boxstap in parking garages.
Oh, la, la, land. So let's see, uh, Lindsey and Everett, I just wrote Everett's hair.
Just love Everett's hair. He's like, I'm feathering my hair.
That is remind me of the birds I saw. Now, we had to pretend to be them in order not to become them.
Let her love my hairs feathers on the wind.
Who knows where it's gonna go?
Sure it's gonna be somewhere great.
But I want to make sure that when I take that crimp into my hands,
it's not a limp crimp, it's a strong crimsonly in my lady-bitch.
That you lady-loved my life.
And if you don't like it, you're a stupid whore.
Wait.
Wait a minute.
That was really more map-taking-tiles almost done.
I think you called me a lazy whore.
You know it's weird whenever I play the stupid platoon music
and you're doing the monologue.
There's something with my system where it quietly fades you out.
But it sort of works.
It's just like ever getting lost in his own monologue.
It was me, it was my soul getting lost.
He's like, he's like going to miss that.
He pulls Lindsay aside because they're all getting ready for this white party.
And he's like, can I talk to you for a second?
She's like, yeah.
Yeah.
She's about to get proposed too.
You're thinking of her poils or break off?
Either way, we can fight.
By the way.
That's a few months as a tested the fabric
of our relationship like, whoa.
We've been really far. And then she looks like, oh my god, all right. Tested the fabric of our relationship like whoa
We've been really far and then she looks like oh hang on
But we haven't broken and what's transpired may have seen black and logical fantasy
But it's made a stronger fabric like Velcro polyester
I want to start or even Some's really polyester. I wanna stop. Or even,
something's really polyester planned.
And that man,
that sort of stuff we wore.
When we walked through the rice paddies,
it's our Charlie.
Charlie's your pinnacle.
You're watching that movie a lot, which is really a lot.
We're just on a tour. We weren't really on the army. We're just on a tour.
We weren't really on the other.
We're just taking a tour of Vietnam.
It was nice.
I want to build a home with you.
I don't know.
I have time to build a home because I just
started a new business.
And I started having an interest working in my house.
It's like, no.
I mean, I want you to move in with me.
She's like, oh my god. want you to move in with me. She's like, oh my god.
I don't want to move in with you.
When she tells us, she's like, well, I don't know.
It's like, my minute, we're yelling in one minute, we're screaming.
But like, I give it a 50-50 shot.
Mm-hmm.
He goes, I'm fucking pumped to live with you geek.
And that means now, so I'm not going to be mad at it, but one
condition. You're apartment needs some talk about posters.
I do lady. And Lindsay goes, ever find a summer I was like
playing tennis. I'm like, yeah, there's everything but love.
Maybe laugh, maybe laugh.
Oh, those two love birds.
I was upset that they didn't get into a stupid fight this episode.
That's that was one thing that was missing a good.
Oh, we need a good finale fight.
Yeah.
So, and well, we did get a finale fight, but just not from them.
So basically everyone had to look like she might fight with him because when he was
giving her that speech, she didn't know. I feel like Lindsey doesn't like listen
to other people enough to even hear half of what they're saying. And so she kept looking
like, oh my god, it's you being mean to me. Like she was like ready to jump to a fight.
But he's like, no, just asking you to move in with me. This is what she hears. years guacamole guacamole taco taco gik kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata k We made up fucking excited to build a house. I'm pumped geeks.
So a bus arrives called the Hampton Hopper and they're like, oh my god, I need to snap
that. It's like immediately.
So they arrive at this white party. It's me. It looks sort of like one like a an off brand
white party. It certainly was nothing that Ramona Singer would find herself at.
Well, there's this many white people. It seems kind of uncomfortable to even call it a white
party. Like literally they went out of their way to show the one black lady there.
I know it's true.
Oh, look, bring in the crane. Come on, guys.
I like how Kyle describes it. He's like, yeah, we got a mermaid. Of course, there's a girl's band
and some Rose. Like, what do you mean, Of course, there's a girls band and some Rose.
I'm like, what do you mean, of course, there's a girls band?
What does that mean?
At first, I thought it was like a band
that like a jazz band made of girls.
No, some rich.
But then it was a person's daughter
who wants some music.
It's like one of the judice kids, you know?
Yeah, exactly.
So there were mermaids in the pool and, you know,
Carl, look at the mermaid. It's Carl, Carl, is it a m- Carl?
Carl, it feels really good to be back at the same five with Carl that we
out of the beginning of the summer, Carl. Like, maybe there is a future for
me and Carl. Carl, there's so much a future. Like having so much fun,
like they're having so much fun, Carl, you having fun? Carl, how much fun are
you happy? Carl, you have fun, Carl? Carl's been 60 seconds if you're not
head not fun. Carl, I love if you're not having not fun.
Carl, I love that I have not fun with you.
Carl, this is the second day straight that I've not had not fun with you.
I'm so glad that you feel free to like not ever like not cheat on
me. He's like, oh, it's going to totally fuck a horde tonight.
Carl, I love that the one thing that we talk about is how much
you can bench press me. How you always love it. Carl, do you want me to put my weight on you again? Carl, I really do love that the one thing that we talk about is how much you can bench press me. I always love it.
Carl, do you want me to put my weight on you again?
Carl?
I really do love that about them, that he keeps telling you're put your weight on me.
I can take it.
Like that is so hot.
So for me fatty.
I'm a former fatty, I know what it's like.
That is so hot to an overweight person, for some hot guy to be like, come on, stepping
afraid, give me your weight.
I mean, of course, when you do it, they start crying and saying they can't breathe.
And, you know, like giving hand signals, like, please, I'm dying.
But, you know, it's nice how it starts off every time.
So this, so then a really weird thing happened.
This girl group started to sing and there was like a, like a, like a, like a
Gia, Giu Dai group girl group.
I started seeing some song like, hot break, don't come but no instructions.
And my first reaction was,
is this the first time we've actually seen
the public domain singer on camera?
Because this is very exciting.
And then my second thought was,
this is such a silly scene.
Like, it's kind of funny that they have it.
And so, Christina is drunk.
And she's standing there with Kyle in Amanda.
And she's drunk because she's celebrating
that she has a new job. And she's's like they're lip syncing. They are
they're lip syncing. They're lip syncing and she's like cracking up and then Amanda's
cracking up and Kyle all of a sudden Kyle becomes very
everty and he's like are you dumb? Take a time out. No seriously you're embarrassing me.
I'm like Christina's embarrassing you're the one attending a concert by lip-sinking tweens
You're the one pretending to know the words to a tween song
that no one's ever heard before at a white party you weirdo
You're the one who who gets so
obliterated that you spend half the parties this summer murmuring in some fake language and passing out on
Grass and you're embarrassed because Christina said that they're lip syncing.
That Christina was like, oh my god, they are fucking lip syncing.
Can you believe it?
Like everyone's going to be shocked that the girl singing in front of a garage
or lip syncing.
Anything.
I know.
He's like, whoa.
So you've never seen, you've never seen, you think Bieber goes out there without a
backing track.
I mean, I get it too.
Like I get it.
It's like, okay, calm down.
We got it.
The lip singing.
Let's just try to enjoy it.
She probably had been sort of like negative all afternoon.
And he's probably just like sick of it.
But the way it was edited was that it just.
And also, I don't think she was hanging out with Amanda so much because you know that Christina will start some shit
So he's just like paranoid, you know, he's like you guys both shut up. She's like Amanda's like thank you
I was being an asshole
So she went away
He failed the test I'm like so not taking this. I'm gonna take a time out and I'll find you in five minutes.
So she comes off with Christina and Christina's
during the hallway and Christina's like,
that was rude arms.
Community theater arms.
She's like, that was rude.
Like, I appreciate you sticking up for me
but he should not talk to you like that.
She's like, I do the butter.
And he's just like, he could be a dick sometimes.
And they're just totally like having a drunken,
commiserating moment.
Yeah, girl, girls waiting for the bathroom
to open up in the hallway, cry.
So then speaking of meddlers, here's some meddling.
Lindsay walks right up to Kyle and goes, Kyle,
so Amanda, your girl is sitting there.
She's crying inside whatever you said to her that she's dumb or stupid or a slot whatever
you said.
She's crying in there and she's with Christina.
So you better go in there.
He's like, last time, last time she talked to Christina, to talk to Amanda, she told her
who I hooked up with.
So he runs inside and she goes
Christina's egging it on Kyle's fix that
Geez, okay, you're the one I get on yeah
So Kyle goes in and he just gets right. He gets right to the good stuff the stuff that we always knows you to come
Some good old-fashioned reporter shaming
Got the hate reporters on this yeah, he's like oh wow Christina, what are you like fucking reporting live from fucking Christina's blog?
These girls are lip-sinking.
Fuck you.
Maybe you could interview Bieber and ask him if he ever has a background track.
And she's like, um, do you know that you arms were just real arms to the both of us and
Amanda slams the bathroom door.
And he's like, shut up.
Cause scene.
It's like, um, no, cause you just are two people arms.
Who care?
And it's like arms.
You know what?
I like that she calls out her, her stage directions arms.
It's like different obitah poses. And then Kyle then Kyle decides to take a
page out of the workers to win book where he's like everything would be fine with
being a man. If you weren't fucking right there and then Christina takes a page out
of her own playbook because she goes everything's fine with you and Amanda really
like classic Christina classic Kyle. I am a Paul right now
He's like I'm done with this. Okay, and don't talk to the girl. I date and can you please clear the area so I can make up with the girl and gonna date
Press access revote
It was by the but again though. I mean, gosh, I do really, they really love
shooting at Christina. I mean, it was, I mean, they just come down. He ended the friendship
with her right then and they're over lip syncing a lip syncing comment.
Yeah, he broke up with her and Amanda's like, oh my god, you're not the person you are
out here is not the person I thought you were like the guy who broke up with me over
Appetizers for the ninth time in the city is totally different than this guy
The person the person you are out here is not the guy who I thought you were
Which is a guy who really loved laughing at bad lip syncing
She'd loved laughing at bad lip syncing. And he's like, I don't think you're dumb.
I'm sorry, just don't hang out with Christine anymore.
She's bad news bears.
And here's another thing, do you see this Chrissy Teigen show?
Let's all about lip syncing.
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Well, speaking of douche terminology,
Carl is over there with Lauren,
and he's just rolling out all the classic,
you know, douche lines, you know,
so he starts saying, he starts telling Lauren,
he's like, yeah, I like that you took the,
I like that you took the time to ask questions about me.
That's such a line, it's such a line.
And then she just falls, which is like,
because he's like, no, I don't like to share a lot.
And he's like, yeah, you don't share a lot.
Even me, you're very close off.
You've been through a lot, Carl.
Yeah, you've been through so much, Carl.
Like, Carl, you've like seriously been through so much.
No one really understands you
So that's why it's like so weird that you have mean because I like totally understand you
He's like yeah, like all this is just a screw you over. Yeah, he was to that cuz you were hurting inside like it's probably a mom thing
Yeah, it's like a mom thing. It's mom-mom thing Carl
You don't let anyone in but you're letting me in a little bit, right? So that makes me special right Carl Carl
Call you bit through a lot
Carl's it really hard for you
Tell me Carl. I'll do it for hard for you? Tell me, Carl.
Do you feel like a Carl?
Carl, do you want to tell me?
Carl, is it hard for you to hear from me, to hear from me, tell you how hard it is for
you?
Carl, do I cry?
Carl, you know what I know about you?
Like, it's not not hard for you.
Like, that's like how you are, Carl.
So like, you just like, when you want to cry, like, you just fuck some random girl and
then like hurt my feelings because like, that's who you are.
And like, I totally understand you girl.
Carl I've never had 60 seconds where I've thought you've not had it hard and not left and
not had fun.
Carl.
So Jacqueline goes up to Christina, he's having a fit and she's like, Hey Christina, what's
up girl, we're gonna go party.
You want to come with us?
She goes, um arms Kyle was like
Meendome and he was like my last true friend. She's like well, I am
Kind of been fighting you to go out. So like that. Yeah, I mean you kind of have a friend that no
He was like my last arm friend
Bye. Yeah, so she like yeah, Christina is just up saying that but it's pretty obnoxious when she tells the people that she's friends with that Kyle is her last true friend.
Like you're not going to you're not going to get allies by saying that.
Christina that's not that's not how that works.
Yeah, Jacqueline and the gay are like what did we tell?
So Christina, why do I write Christina reads metal?
Oh, she's like, you want to say I'm meddling?
Well, here's what meddling means. And she picks up her phone and she's like, med want to say I'm meddling? Well, here's what meddling means.
And she picks up her phone and she's like, meddling is when someone gets involved,
someone else's business.
And that's just a third relationship.
I mean, whatever I'm not meddling, I'm reacting.
And that's human, okay?
And I'd like to get back to the city and get back to the life because I've had enough of this.
Well, I do think that there's some truth in what she's saying.
I do think that some of the things she's done, she's just been reacting and then people are like,
why would you, why would you do that? Why would you say that?
And the truth is that I don't think that she's metled that much more than any of the other people in the house with anything else.
Like Stephen, for instance, but she's just getting the flag for it because you know what, she's sort of weak, you know, compared,
they're all much more alpha and she's not alpha. And so she's, I think that
she's an easy one to just go after. Also, I don't think they really understood.
I don't think she still understands why she was in trouble with the twin.
Yes. Like she still doesn't even know. So she's on the defensive without having all
of the information, you know? Yeah. She just, she just thinks the girls were being, okay, they just
turn on her. They don't, I don't think she knows that Carl talked shit about her. And that was an
instance where when Carl was doing something sort of sketchy and then she's like, uh, don't do that,
that's her reaction. That's not really, that's not like a meddling. That's kind of like, like, uh,
you probably shouldn't do that. And he said that that she would like walk she may sound like she just walked up to Carl and was like
Lauren wants to marry you, you know, and if you think about it all all of the people who are mad at her for meddling are
Guys who have been fucking random people and don't want anybody else to know. So it's like,
I'm like, every single fight has been about some guy cheating on a girl, you know,
that's how everybody's like jumping to their defense.
And it's not like you're staying in some hotel and she's like a desk clerk
telling everybody, you guys are staying in a fucking house.
I feel like a bunch of jackasses and treating people like us.
Yeah, you know, the thing is, I mean, you look back at the fight in that restaurant
from, you know, two weeks ago,
and when Everett, you know,
was Everett in a bed with four girls,
and Kyle was like, look,
you told me that you're in bed with four girls,
that's it, bro.
And no one said anything,
because no one should say anything.
It was like, whatever.
Kyle was just saying the facts.
I guarantee if Christina said that, they'd be like,
oh, Christina's sticking your nose right into it.
Because the thing is that Christina's delivery,
it just doesn't have that casual confidence
that a Kyle, or pretty much anyone else in the house has.
So it always comes off, it's born out of a place of resentment or insecurity. And these people just just smell that in the
water and they just go after her. Yeah. She gets very defensive. She's like, I'm the face of
wet pink. So yeah, the defensiveness does not help. Oh, you do not put your face on that website
where it looks like splooches on it because that is what their logo is. Please do not be the face of that website. She definitely does herself know favors, you know,
she goes to sleeper when they come at her, she goes to sleep early, which isolates her, which means
that they're all going to be more inclined to view her as an outsider. Yeah, because everyone makes
up when they're wasted in the pool. Yeah, exactly. But that being said, I think overall,
these people have been, they just come down on her so much.
I mean, they've all essentially taken Lindsay's side.
And every time something happens, there's Lindsay.
There's Lindsay in the kitchen or wherever going,
I'm Niaz understand, when my life has been like
been the mouse three years, being all smooth. That's what I do on every day. They're like, yeah, we know with my life has been like been about three years being all this is one ideal with every day.
They're like, yeah, we know what your life has been like because you only talk about it.
You never ask us anything about ourselves.
Yeah. So at home, everybody's wasted, you know, and she's like, I'm going to bed,
arms. So everyone's like sex dancing or whatever.
And um, Christina's like, everyone in this house has to love that.
I never miss a baby up. or whatever and Christina's like everyone in this house has to love that. I don't want to mess up my makeup.
So she goes to bed crying and Amanda's like, I'm in a night out.
So it's last Saturday.
Read my lips.
Or can you?
Am I just lip syncing?
Sorry.
I'm married twin.
It's like, one thing I've learned this summer is that the work is circus has not left
this married lady because I can hang I can hang. Now let's go have some kale salad
somewhere. So Carl the twin. So he's like, this is this is a fun for us. And
she's like, yeah, and like tonight, Carl, you have to sleep with me, Carl. Yeah.
And you're not going to sleep with anybody else because tonight's our last night.
Yeah. Like only me. You're not
gonna even think of anybody else. You're just
gonna come home. I'm not gonna be any drama. And
you're just gonna sleep with me, right Carl? Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just gonna come home and sleep with you and
share my soul because I don't share with anyone.
Yeah, I feel so deeply. Yeah, Carl. I just want to
bear my soul to you and maybe think my penis in your vagina. But maybe I just want to bear my soul to you and maybe think my penis
in your vagina, but maybe I just want to share my soul with you.
Yeah, well, sure.
Sure, it's a bear.
Bear in the shirt, Carl.
Remind you of how special you are because you let you in.
Yeah.
I don't want you to not like not share a car.
Yeah, I'm going to share with me inside of me.
Put your weight on me.
Put your weight on me.
Sharing.
Bench perceived.
Sharing inside of me.
Sure. So, Carl's like, I'm listening to the words coming out
of your mouth.
So I said, OK, can't go out.
I won't.
I'm serious.
Serious.
So I'm mad.
Amanda, cut to a man.
Did you get, did you like down Carl for tonight?
Did you like down Carl?
Lauren, did you like down Carl?
Did you get him to sign a waiver?
He's got sleep with you tonight, right?
Carl, you sleep with her?
Do you hear what she said? Do you get up to make Carl? Do you get down Carl Carl? Carl, you sleep with her. Do you hear what she said?
Do you need to be calm?
Carl, Carl.
Carl, did you get to do where you're leaving?
Carl, did you confirm?
I haven't got your confirm, right, Carl?
Carl, I sent you an I-Cow and I didn't get a confirmation or a no.
So I'm going to need to check her I-Cow, Carl.
Carl, check her I-Cow.
Carl, I can see you checked the event, but you haven't responded yet.
So could you respond?
I believe the responses yes.
You are going to see the devices tonight.
Right, Carl?
Or I'm going to kill you.
Would you like to get crushed by the work of circus?
How much weight can you take?
Carl.
So meanwhile, Amanda's like, there's no flowers or romance.
And like after what he put me through, I'm not sure this is
someone I want wanna be with.
I think, okay, Amanda, you stay strong, girl.
So she's in bed because she feels sick.
And so then the gang, the rest of the gang
decides just to go out.
And since they never get clearance to shoot anywhere,
it's just like cell phone footage, party, party, party.
And then all you hear is long going,
all right, I'm gonna go find Carl. Yeah,
Carl gone. Yeah, he's fully disappeared. So we cut to
later in the night, everyone's coming home, Kyle's trying to
snuggle up with Amanda, who still feels sick. And then
Lauren, he's like, you need food and nutrients. And I can't
be that for you. Like you're even breaking up with her,
trying to offer her food.
It's like I'm sorry, can't be your Nutri's babe.
So Lauren is upstairs and she can't believe
that she's lost Carl who is supposed to sleep
with her tonight.
It's just like fucking, it's just like such full ball shit.
Like I'm sorry, I'm not like a fucking psychopath.
You are like fucking lunatic Carl.
Carl. I can break. I turn my back for a psychopath. You are like fucking lunatic, Carl. Carl.
Freak.
I turned my back for a split second and Carl's gone.
Disappeared.
I was like, Carl.
Like you got a crap in the hat.
Disappeared, Carl.
It's like the magic show.
I like went into like the coffin thing
and then it's like, oh, like just disappeared.
Then I really do like how she deals with Carl in a way
because she doesn't turn into that like, oh my God.
Like she's definitely cried and had her moments,
but I like that she's just like that fucking freak.
Well, I'm glad that she finally reached that point
because she should reach that point
a long time ago on this show.
I know, but he's so cute.
He really is cute.
He is cute.
And he is a good flirt.
So it's 5.23 in the morning.
Carl returns with a friend, a cool, cool friend.
And then he gets right up into the camera like a horror movie.
He's like, I can see you.
I've seen you this whole time because.
Yeah, I was in the imposter's.
Yeah.
Carl's the girl from the ring with a haircut.
He just crawls out of your TV and his flirts with you and then makes a commitment.
And then you get all excited
And then he walks back in the TV When the girl looks at you, you'll never have a relationship or you're not cheated on multiple times again
When you see the ring you cry
Seven days later
You got a phone call from Carl and seven days later
There for you in the most
Like nothing crawls out of the screen.
Carl, I'm waiting.
Carl, there's a little girl in the well.
Carl, little girl.
That's how the ring is ignoring me again.
Ah, fucking freak.
The little girl's going to a different,
I can see another TV and the little girl's going to that
TV instead of mine.
You know what you guys, this fucking bullshit.
You know what you guys, I'm starting to think that, like, it's not a problem with me. It's a problem with the little girl is going to that TV instead of mine. You know what you guys fucking bullshit. You know what you guys, I'm starting to think that like it's not a problem with me.
It's a problem with a little girl in the well.
You know, I'm starting to think that the little girl's problems are much bigger than just me
on the other side of the TV.
A little girl in the well has mopping issues.
I guess it.
It's just been through a little girl.
A little girl.
A little girl.
She's opening up to me.
She doesn't share a lot that little girl in the well.
I'm not going to be a crash dummy for the little girl in the well, guys.
Guys, if anyone needs me, I'm putting my weight on the well.
It's Karlin, Pigtails.
So in the morning, Amanda wake up and she's like, I'm just
like so confused. Like I want
to move passes, but like trust
is like a huge thing for me
right now. It cuts to Carl
speaking a girl out, like
thinking he's all stealth
and putting her in a car. And
doesn't he leave with her?
Yeah, he leads with well, he, I think he leads with her? Yeah, he leaves with, well, he,
I think he leaves with her and Stephen, of course,
at that moment has walked out onto the porch
and he sees this all and he's like,
Hmm, well, all right, this will be fun
to tell everyone about.
And even, this is like true, full on meddling,
violating a bro code.
And he gets no shit whatsoever.
I know, and he even has a bag of popcorn.
And I'm not saying he shouldn't do it.
I love that he does it.
I love Stephen.
I love this as they're with the popcorn eating it.
I just think it's like not fair.
No, I don't want to get all like political,
but I do sometimes feel like there's a little bit of sexism.
Like that's like, like someone like Christina
because she's a girl, she said something
and they come down on her as a meddler, as a gossip,
whereas a guy can do it, and they're just like,
looking out for the best interests of everyone.
But it's just also how girls react to things,
because the girls do tell off Christina,
and you know, then they just, Christina couldn't get over it,
and she's carrying it around,
and then they're all still kind of mad.
Like, but the gay, Christina plays a role in it for sure.
And I don't want to be a total apologist for Christina.
Ever it was like, you know,
fuck you man for telling them my girl,
that's definitely like, what?
So what was true?
And he's like, all right.
And they get out because that's just how guys are, you know,
it's not like he totally got away with it.
They yell at him, but then it's over, you know, yeah.
I see I was like, you know, there's like,
Zendson and also don't forget that. I'll get that hurt. I'll never do it again. All right, yeah, I see. There's like, Zendson and also don't forget that hurt.
I'll never do it again.
All right, then, bro, all right, then, also one one cannot overlook the fact
that Christina and Lindsay lived together and they have to do each other
all week long.
Yeah.
And the one that she's always bestering the gaze like, um, so carl
laughs, some drive away with a girl in the seat. This is where he's dressed like a foot look or ref and gaze like, um, so Carl left some drive away with a girl in the seat.
This is where he's dressed like a foot look or ref and cast like, here I am thinking, I'm a massive
dick. Carl's is, Carl's like douche level 10,000. It's true. I mean, can't argue with it.
The twins, um, fuck that Carl. Hey, you know, not not fuck you. Fuck you. That's what. But no, not,
hey, Carl, no, not, not, I'm not having Fuck you. That's what. But no, not. Hey, Carl, no, not, Carl.
Enjoy not having to spark for sale. I'm trying to make a few. Carl, I'm gonna have it now.
Carl, do you want this?
I like taking my way after I have to these bad boys, Carl.
Yeah, Carl, Jimi Dean sausage in this one, Carl.
So then Christina's like in her room. And what I thought was like a little,
little like, Ver, like, I forget the word that, that red orange color. But she's wearing a little, but I thought was like a little, like, ver, like, I forget the word,
that red orange color,
but she's wearing a little,
but I thought it was a kimono,
like this was like a,
but like a kimono bathrobe,
but it was actually her outfit.
And she's flittering around packing furiously
with like all this, like they're gonna see,
they're gonna miss me, they're gonna see it all.
And I thought this was leading up to the big moment of,
you know, oh no, Christina don't go,
we really value you and, you know, we realize actually that Carl is a dick and that
we never should have been so mean to you. But it's dead. Christina comes rolling out into
the kitchen with her with her roller. You know, you know, she loves to threaten people
with a rolling suitcase. Yes. She's done it several times. Yeah. It's like here comes
Christina with that rattly acid case
And the workers ones are just sitting there talking about Kales house and big potatoes and so she she walks up
And she stands next to Kyle. I mean Christina could work on her confrontation skills
And she just stands up with this look like so do I get an apology?
And it is again very community theater.
I mean, she's got a hand on her hip practically.
So good.
And he's like, well, I guess I'll start it off.
Sorry for the name calling.
Well, first she goes, good morning to you too.
He's like, oh, jeez, that's a second morning to also.
So he's like, sorry for the name calling.
And then the gay guy is just laughing his
ass off in the background, snickering. And I thought at this point was going to be Carl
saying I was really drunk and I was out of line and I really do appreciate it as a
friend. But instead he's like, but the lip-syncing that shit was out of line.
Yeah, I was embarrassed to avoid standing next to you and she's like, um, you arms for the best friend in my house
And I thought it was gonna be the best night of my life
I asked you to be polite and you wouldn't she's like me polite. I've been nice all summer and
Lindsay is sitting there with the biggest smirk on her face. She's like, I've won the war. And Christina is like, you're my last real friend in the house.
And I mean, you said, now she's just saying it from every single person in the house, except for Carl.
Carl, I'm like, I mean, I told truth that people didn't want to hear it, but I was polite about it.
And I'm done. And the game starts eating more popcorn.
And she's like like I'm going to
remove myself from this negativity I've been dealing with all summer and this job is you
meddled with people all so because most of it started because you got involved in other people's
business I'm like you were at the heart of the biggest fights this entire summer Stephen so good
and thank you and thank you by the way and thank you but you you would be you know we've had this I'm going to go to the place where I'm going to go to the place where I'm going to
go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going
to go to the place where I'm going to go to the place where I'm going to go to the place where I'm going house, objectively the biggest medler, and he goes and he points in front of everyone else and says, she's been meddling, it's kind of genius.
Yeah, really funny. He ends up with a hokey, the H-O-H-Key. So he's like, yeah, he's
like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, eh, and then the twins
like, hey, don't call us negative. Yeah. The other one's like, yeah, don't call us negative. Yeah. The other one's like, yeah, don't
call us negative because you're like bringing us down. That's
not cool. Like why would you call us negative? And she's like, Oh,
I forgot one thing. I'm on the only thing I'm bringing is this
bottle. She takes that. Yeah, I take a bottle of rosé. And she's
like, Christina reporting
Christina Gibson reporting live in the summer has I'm out
and she's like
I'm gonna have to get herself
she's like expecting to get the slow clap or something and then she like
walks down the hall where she's like oh no one's gonna stop me
no oh yeah she's like got this heavy
I thought that I would really ensure that they would trust on me by taking their most valuable possession,
but it's worth it to them to lose the 9th and 1.0.
Just have me on the house. Okay.
Oh, good.
And then welcome to my life.
And everyone else just like doesn't care.
Like so anyway, so the kale salad for tonight with a big potato.
Do we want to have my day?
Like who cares?
It's like leaving five minutes before the party.
So it's like when the bar is a one 45 in the bar and you're like, I am out of here.
Okay.
Bye because it closes in like five minutes.
I was really sad.
I mean, on the one hand, I get it.
Like why would she stay and actually do these people?
But you know, I was hoping that Christina was going to win the war and she didn't she by her bowing
out she looked like a fool and she she let Lindsey win I was very upset. Oh Lindsey well
speaking of Lindsey winning oh wait well we're not there yet first it's um
work is just go to lunch yeah the twins oh twins. So it's basically more of this like so hard. My
heart is still racing from today. It's racing so fast. Like it's crazy. Like we're running
called every race. Fast fast. How fast can do a mile from this fast? I think it's faster.
It's like my heart should win a medal. I think that like I've Carl do you think her heart should
you know, I feel like her car, your heart could win like three medals
in Carl's, go in four.
Yeah, but like between Christina leaving with all that wine
and then I was like, she's gonna hurt her back
because you know, like, I know what that feels like.
I don't want to hurt my back carrying wine.
Carl, you hurt your back.
Like, do you think she's gonna hurt her back?
I'm gonna hurt her back.
Oh my god, I put a car, hurt his back.
Should we put your weight on your car?
No, fuck that guy.
He deserves it.
He deserves it.
He deserves a bad back.
Yeah, that guy should have come back.
He's like, I'm gonna lump a frick.
Like, frick back guy. He's a big frick. He's a big, big, big frick, big,
big frick.
But like Carl said that there could be a future. And then he'd like left.
I was like, Carl, Carl, I mean, what the hell, Carl?
Carl, we were talking about the musician, the rapper future. Carl.
So I spent time with my sister because I was a summer on a dude who, like,
maybe he's not right for me. And like, I can't even put into words what he did like and then the other one's like it didn't have that something's fishy
So it's like well, maybe Carl like was boys in door
Maybe there is something fishy. You know, I love a mystery
But no Carl comes to the house and he's got an I one of those travel ID IV people like toya on Mary
Demison one of those travel ID IV people like toya on Mary dimension. Yeah, no bad on the. Yeah,
it's actually turns out to be a good idea. They're all doing it in the Hampton. So, you know,
stick with the toya. He's on his apology tour. He's like, yeah, I feel like such a dick. I really
I don't know why I did that. I'm such a dick. I am such a dick. Have I said enough times? Can
you guys forgive me yet? I'm such a dick. I made a lot a bad decision, but I do need navi so
Not totally my fault, you know like but I told Lauren like I liked her and I want to hang out there
But then I left with another girl and honestly man. I'm like really shitty like I'm like really super shitty right now
I was like and she brought her back home. He's like oh saw that huh. Yep. Well, she deserves better
saw that huh yep well she deserves better she deserves better than me it's like good luck with the twins buddy someone put their weight on me Cal
want to put your weight on me I know thanks man it's like well you can use a
man as a human shield she's basically useless to me at this point so then Lindsay
like a few hours later Lindsay decides to call her mom.
And you know it's not going very well because she's like, hi, mom.
Yeah, hi, how are you?
Well the phone goes both ways.
Yeah, well, like a lot has happened in eight years.
Like I have a boyfriend that's here in 30 and there's like one X factor missing and that's my mom like I don't think you know what the X factor
means. We didn't really make fun of the fact that Lindsey last week said that
she was either so stressed or whatever that she was gonna blow a casket not a
casket a casket. I'm literally gonna like do this
dad person blowjob right now
She's like one thing missing in my mom's relationship with me is like star quality
Like I know there's like a fifth harmony, but I think we could be a second harmony
So she's like, well, I just wanted to call you because like we almost buggering a long time and like I went through changes like obviously I turned like 40 so like or 30 whatever and I've like a serious boyfriend. He's a
veteran. No, it doesn't fix dogs. No, like cats here. No, like war mom, war mom.
Do you want to talk about mom? Cause I can send you some. Fine. Don't have them. I mean, do you want me to let you because I can send you some fine don't have them
I mean if you want me to let you go because it seems like you're busy
And then ever it's like oh talk with mama huh?
had a go kid
had a go and she's like
tickney
Tickney Lindsay let's hear about moms
She's like nice to you. She kind like, she's nice to you, she's kind.
What does she think about feathered bangs?
Is she the woman you always knew she could be?
Where she bangs is as she seems, is not!
When you told her about my bangs,
was she proud, was she loud, was she cheering with a crowd?
What you walk 300 miles just get a whizzed
a bass
Oh, so she just had another call on call waiting well, that's cool cool story, bro
Linsies like she didn't ask me a one thing about myself like my mother like daughter
Sounds familiar See that's why
Christina shouldn't have left. Just that way she could have stood there in the
doorway. Arms crossed. Their fingers tapping on her bicep. Hmm. Lindsay sounds
familiar. And you're welcome about your new account. You did that one last week
Christina. Oh, you did that one last week.
Hey, um, why you took out your mom on the phone? Why did you tell her about the taco account I got you see if she's proud of me? Oh, did she hang up on you? Oh, go figure.
Everett's like, I can't believe she picked up.
For the gifts.
It's sad to see her.
Yes, sorry. She's like, at least we're moving in together.
Yeah, sorry. She's like, at least we're moving in together. Yeah, babe.
Demore.
I love you, Demore.
So, Gink, the gang, Kyle.
He's like, oh my god, what happened to Pegasus?
He was unicorn dragging someone popped a hole in it
and then put some tape over it.
He's like, did they think I wouldn't notice?
This is like, Pegasus being deflated is like the perfect metaphor for this season.
I just felt bad that Steven's arc had to end with a pool toy being deflated.
I was like, surely he did more than, than that.
Nope.
We're gonna tie up some loose ends.
Okay. So, uh, Lindsey, you call your mom for the first time in eight years.
Christina, you have a moment of defiance and you leave the house. Um, and Steven, we're
just going to pop a hole in the toy and you just deal with that emotionally.
Word guy. So the twin goes to Carl's room and gets in his bag. Yeah. She calms down
the stairs. Yeah.
Charles room and gets in his back. She calms down the stairs.
Yes.
Carl.
Carl think it's time to talk.
Carl.
He's like, uh, been in the shoes.
Sorry.
How are you, Carl?
I've been a lot better.
I've had a really emotional day internally.
Carl, are you feeling internal emotions?
Carl, you like Mario.
Do you feel emotions?
I don't want to take you like like not external not emotions Carl
Okay, are they internal?
Carl I have never not had 60 seconds where I've never not thought you weren't having fun internally Carl
I didn't imagine I didn't summer this way and like like bottom line Carl like I've given you the benefit of the doubt like a million times
And like last night we had so much fun. He's like oh no
Yeah, we did because we did. Like we really did.
And we I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
And now I'm like, whoa, I'm not willing to not give you the benefit of the doubt.
You know what I mean, Carl?
I'm like, I'm like, Pebble.
So I'm like, not going to give you the benefit of the doubt, Carl.
So why, like, why did you do that?
What, what was the point?
Like, why did you do that, Carl?
Well, why did you go down the girl, Carl?
Well, what, what's going on, Carl?
I gave you the opportunity to walk away.
Like, I gave you feelings of the answer. And I didn't? Well, what's going on? Yeah, what was the like? I gave you the opportunity to walk away. Like I gave you to the external lane.
You didn't.
Was it internal or external?
Yeah, it was like a hard drive.
Where was your computer?
Do you have an external IV?
Do you stuff?
Do you stuff as you do in your own truck?
I move to an empty red truck.
External?
You have an IV?
Internal.
The IV hurt.
Probably in a bad head.
Chills.
You're letting me in.
Thank you.
I get that.
I get that, girl.
You let me in.
You don't want people in. They still messed up. Carl. You think you messed up.
And she did exactly what she said. She's not. She's like, I'm not going to be a crash test dummy for Carl.
Like, I'm not that stupid girl. He's just going to go back because he says,
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why, she's like, I love Carl.
Yeah. He's like, let me just try to out the family stuff. He's like, yeah, I just had a lot of
a lot of family stuff weighing on me. I guess that's why I always wanted you to put your weight on me. So I could,
yeah, I've been told I've like, I feel like a daddy issues. I've been told I have the
weight of oppressive family issues. I went in for weight watchers once and I stepped on
a scale and the scale read terrible family issues.
You have lost no weight, but you have given the rest of the class terrible, bad issues.
I weigh my weight is no father, brother is an alcoholic.
And he's really laying it on thick.
He's like, yeah, then my brothers and jail,
Max drugs and see what else can
I tell you. My mom's got one leg and even my dog has a heroin addiction. She's like,
I figured Carl. I figured it out. I figured it out. I figured it'd be bigger than all of us.
A lot of weight. He did look really, really, he looked bad.
He did look like he had been going through it.
He did look like embarrassed and guilty and sad,
but I couldn't help wondering.
I couldn't help wondering Carrie Bradshaw style,
was he upset that he had done her wrong
or was he upset that he looked like an asshole?
And I feel like it was more of an embarrassed that he looked like an asshole and I feel like it was more of an
embarrassed that he looked like such an asshole. Yeah, I just I don't know I don't feel bad. I mean
I watch a lot of movies about killers and you know I love mysteries and stuff like that and listen
they all have a really sad life. They all have some bad shit that happened to them but you know
that doesn't mean you get to go kill people. You still go to jail. Carl Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. Carl. So upstairs,
they're making, they're cooking the final dinner and all the stuff. And Jaclyn is, of course,
up against like a piece of steak and she's pecking at the fat. She goes, I love fat. Yeah,
maybe a fat one. Let's get this fat slide down my throat.
I love taking it deep down my throat.
I'm just a flirt stick.
I love some meat.
I just want some meat in my mouth. I love a good piece of meat that fits perfectly in my mouth.
I like when it's being juicy piece of meat because I like actual steak.
Like, be...
Fill my mouth with the nice hot load of hollandaise, which I like with my steak.
Do what I like. You know what I like and like something nice and creamy.
Like bernet sauce. I'm a flirt. I'm a sausage.
It's for the morning. I'm crazy right now. Well, we needed to give
Jacqueline a consent off. She's about to like, really, also got the
whole episode. You want to go out and drink with us and I love
that.
Jacqueline certain that paycheck to another love that. Well, Jacqueline sir earned that paycheck today.
Another good arc.
So, um, so they're, they're all having dinner.
They burned all these lobs or tails.
Like, well, should we just do them out?
I'm like, they're lobs.
You eat them no matter what.
And then, um, so they're all sitting there and it's like, it's time for
toasts.
And Lauren's like, hey, Carl, I mean, group Carl, um, friends of Carl, I just want to say that, you know,
it's been a great summer with lots of ups and downs
and you know, I just feel like we're all closer
than when we started, except for Christina,
because she left, but you know, everyone else.
But at least she's got wine, right?
And that's all that Carl's dad's need to be happy, right,
Carl?
Right, Carl?
Carl?
Carl?
Carl, we'll never see each other again, Carl, right?
We'll never see each other again, ever never see each other again ever again right Carl
Very twin is like well, I would like to give a toast about my family right now
My god I'm not gonna be mad at it. Oh my god. It's gonna be scary. It's gonna be scary.
It's gonna be scary.
It's gonna be scary.
It's all hard to put in the words, but it's 20 minutes to you.
Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl.
You have to shoot.
Carl, do you have a key?
Carl, Carl, Carl.
Carl, you have to shoot Carl?
For... Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Carl, Just shop Carl's like a ding ding ding
me Carl
Ding ding
Ding
Like I'd like to give a toast you guys welcome me a tongue press
I've had ups and downs and most recently last night everyone's like
and dance and most recently last night, and everyone's like,
ah, oh, oh, oh, oh.
When you fucked the other girl,
right under Lauren's nose,
when she said she wanted to fuck you,
and you said you were.
This is crazy times.
Is that,
You guys are awesome friends.
Eh.
And when she's like, who knows?
Like when there's a spark in a passion,
like they have, like you never know what's gonna happen,
because like even when Carl flirts with me,
and I have a boyfriend
Like I'm my heart melts a little bit. I can't help it. I'm like, okay, so you're just making sure in the finale that everybody knows that Karl is flirted
flirted with you to you. You really are an asshole woman. Under minor. Total entrepreneur. I love you for it. Yeah, no, by the way
We come to Hellenzi so much, but I'm also very much into Lindsay.
Yeah, I like Lindsay too.
I think if they bring it back, they should bring back everybody.
I actually love all of them and I feel like it's important to try to distribute the podcast
to stay in amongst them all as much as possible because they all do such asshole things
and ridiculous things.
But as a whole and even individually, so I'm really not making sense, Carl, I actually really love them all as much as possible because they all do such asshole things and ridiculous things. But as a whole and even individually, so I'm really not making sense, Carl. I actually really love
them all. I'm like, I am like obsessed with this group of people. Yeah, and Carl's like, hey,
do you guys know what a hot Carl is? I don't know what a hot Carl is. I think we do talk about
a couple of things. I don't even want to look at that. I don't want to look at that. I feel like I'll be grossed out whatever I'm in the
day. This is.
So then Amanda's like, guys, so over here, I'm the one lip syncing in the corner.
So you guys, I got a present for you since I stayed over so much.
And I was like, is it crash lead to crash lead to?
It's just a bottle of tequila. It's a key that they're like,
woo!
And Carl's like, yeah, well,
I got something for Amanda too.
And he runs off.
And I'm like, oh my God, what is this gonna do?
Sure, she can free ball in.
Yeah, it's like a gift certificate for an abortion.
But no, it's.
Oh.
Ah.
Jesus.
It's. it's.
It's
Well, let me come on the end of this summer. That girl's let herself be used like a damn hole in the wall. So he got a way to fly away.
I was saying she's she's entitled to get booty. She's entitled to get booty.
No, you're entitled to get booty. Of course, but you cannot expect this from other people when you basically letting a man treat you like that the whole time
Well, I think that she's a she's allowed to get she's allowed to get the booty and and you know get the booty
Enjoy it, but then she's not I don't think she's totally allowed to have all this emotional stuff from this episode
I mean, I understand how it's not her. I'm do shaming him because he's like he would totally be like well you're pregnant
Well, congratulations. I've got enough money in my bank account for the
Well either way they both are acting like idiots because then he shows up with flowers and it's like
grocery store flowers
grocery store flowers. Yeah right next to the
Katie Katie and Tom's wedding cake
so um so the flour's fixed everything and everyone starts skinny dipping as like skinny dip it's skinny dip and fond fond fond fond
winners are out yeah is that Kristen the Kristen short she's like I'm back
I was hearing her in a back to the finale.
No, it would be more. She's like, it's a secret. Kristen, you're in your house.
You're not even on this. So why are you talking?
She's still trying to figure out the difference between muscles and clams.
So this is so good for tail.
So then the next morning, you know, a man does all have just like, no, I'm not me flat on before. But this is the first time you ever got me flowers and she looks so happy.
And she's like, but I don't want you to think that everything's back to normal.
I guess it is. Yeah, she's like, and as an expression of how nothing's back to normal,
it is. Yeah, she's like, and as an expression of how nothing's back to normal, let's start dating again. I'm fine with that.
What works goes so great. Things back to normal. But I don't
want you to feel like you have to be exclusive with me, because
I understand you're like a man who needs like choices.
Somewhere in here, my mom walked in and my mom was like, so are
they exaggerating for the camera?
I was like, no, I think this is actually how they are.
And my mom goes, and just walks out.
So anyway, so everyone starts packing up at the last day.
Oh, the series ends with the disappointment, the disappointed side of your mom.
And we're out.
The twins have like another cry.
I actually felt bad because if they are the type of twins that do everything together
and always have, that does suck.
But then I don't know why Lauren just doesn't move to California.
Oh, she might.
She might.
What happens next season? How I hate these seasons where people move to different
geographical areas like ladies of London can't do that to us. It's like when Stasi moved to New York on
Bendipump rules, you can't do that. We know you're gonna come back, but why don't put us through it?
Yeah, but you know, that's reality, Ben. So they all hug and say they love each other, they strap the deflated fucking pool to
order the top of the car and we're out.
And just like that, Summer of 2016 draws to an end.
Bunch geeks, Bunch of gals got real pumped to their thin, and non-targ long iron pants.
Where the bangs may be feathered, the birds in dinner.
So goodbye everyone. Good luck.
You're looking for me.
You see me walking around the west maddies and all.
be walking around the last night is enough. Give it see me crying in a corner.
No, it's because I fought for you.
And not because lymphrointfied with me.
Goodbye, everyone.
Goodbye.
Let's do good work.
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