Watch What Crappens - #428 RHONY: Get a Brain

Episode Date: April 7, 2017

The Real Housewives of New York return. Ramona has a new Mario. Will this one work out? And will Hillary win the election? SO MANY QUESTIONS. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

come over to Facebook.com-watchwatchwatch.com. And to follow us on social media, go to watchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatchwatch One-dog calm slash Watch What Crappens. Watch What Crappens would like to think its sponsors sponsors Christy Doherty and Mia Hansen Aloha and our very special super subscribers sponsor Miss Madonna Hines, match with a sexy day. We love you girls. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yale Broms. I'm a very hungover Ronnie Karam from Rose, see, from the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast and

Trestop TV. And I'm here with the gorgeous and talented and laundry-doing Ben Mandel curve to be side blog in the banter blender. Hello, Ben. Oh, hi, Ronnie. It's an exciting day. Starbucks reward day. I have my venti Java chip frappuccino here ready to go. I'm ready to take on real househouse in New York City. But first I want to know what got you so hungover, Ronnie? Alcoho. Oh, that'll do it every single time. Alcohol and dead dreams. It's a great cocktail,

guys. It always works. I just went to see my friend do some stand-up comedy. My friend started doing a stand-up night at the fault line, which is a gay leather bar. So that was interesting. Lots of fisting jokes. Oh, okay. Well, there's a time and a place for everything is there not? Yeah, this wasn't for that, but there you go. Well, you know, I'm sure it there's something like thematically appropriate talking about fisting jokes before jumping into a season of Real House, wasn't your city. Oh, my God. So I think it's perfect. Especially in the episode where Daringa's I'm not gonna be talking about fishing jokes before jumping into a season of Real House and New York City. Oh my God.

So I think it's perfect. Especially in the episode where Durinda's like, who thinks that naked police? That's not sexy. I'll get John giving me a lap day and a cleanie day. I was like, oh God, nothing will gross me out more than that. And then I went to the fault line and I have to say it topped Durinda

fault line is a good descriptor for John, you know, it's often his fault and he often crosses the line And it also implies that we're about to just all fall down from the earth shaking too much. It's like John whoa John who told you to do jumping jacks? Have a seat, babe. Have a seat. Well, should we just dive in to the season premiere of this season nine at this point? I think it is. I think it is. It's season nine. Hi. And they're celebrating, but giving us new music. Okay. It's like, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, what is this so? This show every year they have some meeting

and they're like, we need to do something to the opening. I know they do, they do adjust the opening a lot. Last year, the music I remember, I didn't love because it had this weird pre-roll that was like very, remember it was sort of quiet in the very beginning and be like, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, and I was like, I want to start with a bang, you know.

Also, I had a lot of synthesized horns. There was like a lot of Cassio keyboard. At least they don't have those synthesized chorus members. Or, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't give them any ideas. That'll be next season. It'll be like It'll be the Berkshire's chorus

It's a bunch of Santa Claus's Seeing as like Durrinda comes down the aisle of a church You better back it up back it up chorus back it up. Back it up. Of course, back it up. Well, this season opens with Ramona and Whiteface. I'm glad that we can still offend on this right at the beginning. Yeah, she's doing stuff for her kitchen. The season opens with those things where it has like a two-second vignette with each woman and Ramona. She's doing stuff for her kitchen. And the season opens with those things, where it has like a two-second vignette with each woman. And the Ramona, she's like, hey, Mary, I'm expecting a contractor, Mary, Mary,

because there's like a doorbell, and she opens up the door and Mary, oh, Mary, oh, he caught me. Let's face it. I'm not ready for you, Mary, yo. Okay. Mary, yo, okay. I'm Ramona.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, okay. I'm there's some act. Yeah, I couldn't tell. She's either Southern or comes from a country that creates a strange accent. Like she's secretly like, like Lithuanian or something. Yeah, she's like a German who grew up in Afghanistan who moved to Michigan. Yeah, really like watching like, um, that like a Southern movie, you know, O'Connor the Windows, gonna say. Yeah, she's like, she's like a Michigan or who went to the Ben Luxe country is during formative years of her life and then came back and now everything's

all messed up. Are you married? I'm Ramona with the white face. So then Beyonce sang about me. That's back with the good hair. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I can't keep everything straight. Okay. Okay. Ramona begins every season like I'm changing everything. It's so new. This is the new me. It's the new Ramona. And this year, I think I mean, she changed her face a little bit and she's also changing what hey, it's like so young fresh like everything's new everything's changed. I don't need a Mario to do anything for me. Mario could you do that for me? I really need to practice Ramona's laugh because it cracks me up

every time she does. It's kind of like a little witch cackle. Yeah, we then go over, we see a flash of Carol with Adam and baby. Adam is like kind of, he's going for a different look this season. I feel like he's sort of going for like a lesbian look a little bit, you know, which still works. So, you know, it's kind of like, yeah, it's like when lesbians go get highlights and you're like, oh, good, you're still wearing plaid. You know what I mean? You're still wearing plaid and like a huge janitor keychain with 9,000 keys. You have to change more than the highlights. But he got, he got the TV makeover where you start going on the food network and they're like, oh, you need to makeover. Amber, all we have to wear this crazy hair and like made socks and his is lesbian here. So I'm like still trying to drink my job at Chip trape, trape, trape, trape, trape,

trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape

trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape, trape trape this is like you got to like drink it and then like sort of chew it. It's weird. You got to chew your coffee. You have to put your tongue up so that you can filter all the little bits of chocolate gravel that could possibly choke you. It's a lot more. Exactly. Yeah. And like you want to make sure you take a proper sip. They get you don't want to get too much the liquid and leave too much ice behind so that way you don't you need to have a good ratio coming in through the straw. So I'm sorry. It takes some time. Okay. But then we go to see Luan. And she's sitting on a park bench and we see her texting and they put like a little text bubble up and you see Tom go, can't wait to see you later. You would just like you. Luan's like me too.

And Tom goes, love you. And Luan goes, love you too. Smile emoji. And I just just imagined the rest of the text conversation was like, oh shit.an oh hey love you like I said I love you Luan then Luan's like do you get it are you getting this boys the shot of me just sitting on this bench looking happy well get it send it to all the girls so they understand that I'm happy happy on a bench because I may be alone but I'm not alone in life like a geez Luan would you believe how much Tom loves eggplant? I don't know why he always sends me pictures of them. He just loves that fruit or vegetable.

Could you believe it? Tom loves a curvy vegetable. Can I tell you? I love him. He's my soulmate. One time I was two things that Tom loves. There's two things that he loves. It's rain and eggplants, at least for Orange was emoji history. He just loves those. He believed it is a mochi history.

I can't wait to send him the black man giving the thumbs up. That's my new favorite one. People are like, why are you sending me a black thumbs up? Because I feel like it matters more. It's like harder to get, you know, because black people ain't fake like white people. They're not going to just be like, they won't text back with me. Anytime you text me, I'll be like, hello, well exclamation point, even if I'm sobbing at my house, you know, it's harder to get a black thumbs up.

So, you know, be appreciative when you get that for me. So then we go over to Sonia who is doing her dishes and she picks up a dildo and starts washing it with a toothbrush. I thought it was a plastic, I thought it was a dog chew toy. It was a dildo, okay. She's washing a dildo with a toothbrush and then she puts it in the top rack of the dishwasher. Now, okay. Look, people, if you're going to wash your dildos like that, put only the dildo. I don't want to know that I could be at your house and you're watching your dishes with your dildo. That's disgusting, especially a sonia's house because Sonia does not have hot water. Yeah, I'm surprised that Dildo didn't find his way down the toilet by accident.

You know In the footsteps of the black of many blackberries and other Motorola devices and How many times how many times would people come to Sonya's and she's like, oh, I have a toothbrush Disgusting. It's like that seed in parenthood when Diane Weist is like I think I found a flashlight and subit vibrator That's my first learn of a vibrator was 1989. Oh, that was a classic Classic scene of that movie old time Yeah, Steve Martin that found Diane Weist vibrator. That's what it was Yeah, just want to make sure everyone's on the same page about where Diane Weist was in relationship to this vibrator in a Ron Howard movie Okay, he settled that. Hey, Ron Howard.

So then we, the first name and a first name, okay? I don't know what's on it. If you like better, Ron Howard, okay? I'm sorry, you may have a beautiful mind, but you have two first names, okay? Okay, Mario. He's like, please stop calling me. Mario, do you want to direct the movie like Ron Howard? You could be like Mario Luigi, okay?

I just like the idea of Ramona renaming every guy, Mario, just so she can always try and have any chance at her release. Houston, we have a problem. Mario Howard directs it a wonderful film about space exploration, okay? Just Ramona's critics corner. Every director's name, Mario. Today we're reviewing Pulp Fiction, directed by Mario Quentin Tarantino. It's a movie that takes place in many different places at the time and honestly I couldn't follow it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Have a little near timeline, okay? I was just like gross. Okay, thank you for listening. Like Ramona's reviews.

What was that movie about? I don't know. It's disgusting. I couldn't even follow it. Hey, Mario Spielberg. I didn't like the Jurassic Park 2, the Lost World, okay? But you know what, though, I'm going to raise my glass and I'm gonna toast to your movie And I hope it doesn't fall flat at the box office, okay? Even though it's not a very good movie. I'm sorry. I'm sorry So then we skip down to a coffee stand We're only by the way all 30 seconds into the show. I know so then we go down to see what your buns I wrote Dolores. Why did I write that?

Durinda. Durinda. She's like a street vendor. She's at a street vendor because everyone else gets like home time. But then Durinda is like getting coffee in the street. And she says she's like four dollars for a cup of coffee. What's the profit? I'm there.

Four dollars. What is such a such a New Yorker that Dermonda, you know, everybody's favorite dad Joker. Dermonda. I think she's trying to show that she's a woman of the people. I think she's still trying to make up for the time that she saw a black man in a restaurant just to assume that he worked there. She's never going to live that down. I love you, Durinda.

So then we open with, of course, Bethany, who is in her office. She's got What's the Matter? Yeah, she gets out of her car. We see her immediately getting her car and her face is just in her phone looking down. She's texting, what's the matter? I'm walking in right now.

What's the matter? And then you're not what's happening? What's the matter? What's happening? I'm going in right now. We've got so much What's the matter? What's happening? What's the matter? What's happening? I'm going in right now. Yeah, well, we've got so much to do like it's crazy. Like we've got so much going on and then Fred tick Eklund is there from New York real estate. No, I'm not listing. Yeah, and she's I saw him on one of those movie commercials because you know, Brava does the movie tie-ins and they were doing the smurfs and they were They were asking all the people which smurf would you be and some people are like I'm girl pal it's mayor Forever and it gets to him and he's like I am Papa smurf because I'm going to make good fada

You don't even know what those smurfs are you just pick there? Was there a porn star smurf? I don't remember Papa smurf took a fist. Only one time though. Only one time. It doesn't count. I was young. Yeah, when you say a movie tie in with Fredrick Eglund,

I immediately become very intrigued. I just love to see his different eyeliner. Every time I see him, I'm like, whoa, I wonder what he's doing with his eyeliner these days. Because God, he wears a lot of eyeliner. And Beth and he's like, what, Fredrick what he's doing with his eyeliner these days because God, he wears a lot of eyeliner and Beth and he's like, What Frederick, what what you wearing velvet again? What like you're obsessed with velvet? Is it like, is it Valor is it velvet? Is it a crush velvet? Like literally I can't like it's like so many fabrics So many fillies a quarter. I like the wrenches like I don't get the ridges

It's like are you like a ruffle potato chip? Like honestly, I can't like I don't get your brand right now They're your peer trip or real trip. I think I can't like I'm gonna. What's up? That was up. Sorry. It's corduroy right now. They're your page of a real chart. I can't, I can't, my wall's up. That wall's up. Sorry. It's called a Roy. It just falling I'm soft. And she's like, yeah, he's a friend of mine for years, which is all. Okay, Frederick. I was like, yeah, Frederick's been a really good friend of mine for years. So that's, you know, why the last time I saw him was when he was wearing a velvet suit. What's stopped pretending, Bethany? You ain't got no friends. So the divorce, she's like the the divorce is final. So her divorce, she's like the, the divorce is final. So her thing is just trying to get that tryback apartment staged. And

we get a lot of flashbacks in this episode. And I loved watching her walk around that apartment. It's over. I can't take it. I can't take it. It's like what's a matter filming it on her iPhone. I know what's a matter to start there. By the way, if you're new to the podcast, we call her interns and assistants. One of them is named what's a matter. One's name, what's going on. One of them's name, what's what's happening?

Because when you walk into her office, she goes, what's going on? What's going walked into our office shows is what's going on? What's the matter? What's going on? What's happening? What's happening? What's going on? What's what's the matter? This year she's letting them speak though and it's awkward because they're such yes men, you know, they're like oh That's great What's going on? I'm gonna sell my apartment. Oh wonderful Bethany I'm gonna sell my apartment. Oh, wonderful bad for me. Really believable, what's the mana? So Frederick wants to list the apartment at 675,

6.75 million dollars. And both of these like, now let me, let me tell you what, I think it should be 6.99, you know, because like it's a great school place, you know, great apartment and I, I would be willing to pay with a 6.99? I was gonna park in spot like that practice spots worth half a million dollars. Yeah, half a million dollars But it's literally like it's like been a gold like literally like when you park there like on a Mac Like your heart's like like I see like that. I like it's like a and you know what?

You can fit a really small car. It's a skinny part. It's skinny parking lot Skinny spot and he's like okay, let us go look at it. I do victory dance. And he's dancing. He's like, what are you doing a victory dance for? Nothing happened. He's I'm selling your apartment victory. Fucking Frederick. It's like no matter how long Frederick is here, he just never quite gets it. You know, yeah, victory dance. I think victory is even the same here as it is in his homeland. Isn't that like from the Greek root victor? I don't even know why I said that

Sometimes when you just talk to you met and you just start saying things and you're like, why why would I say that? Who cares? Yeah, I mean I mean I could look up the at a mall at a mological derivation of victory the edema at an emological derivation of victory. Um, chance that it probably comes from Latin. Like seriously, literally, I don't play that like I'm sweating out gray goose right now. Like literally like like the only victory here is like boredom because boredom is winning right now because this is such a boring conversation. Like I'll say I can't like Latin. It's dead like which like

wants to talk about Latin. Like what? Like I'll say like why is it even Latin America? It's I mean like America's dead. Like I'll say should we make maybe we should make America ready. It's like dead. It's like literally just dead. Like Atlanta America's dead. It's like a dead country. I can't like literally my walls off. Literally like put the wall up front

because my walls are too. Places there are no walls. Central park. So Jorinda and Luan are walking through the park and they stop in front of this bench. And there is like the most confused, terrified European tourist behind them. It's a guy. He's like,

Oh, what is happening? What they hear for me? It's like suddenly he's surrounded by all these cameras and these crazy ladies talking. It was like a really disturbed a version of enchanted. And during the song, I'm going to begin. You look like you look like an upper-r perhaps cool girl. Yes, well, you go to school up a week. It's like did you not see my origin special exo exo that's one secret I'll never tell. Now let's go sit on the steps at the mat. Would you believe it?

I'm telling rumors about everyone. Yeah, this is basically just an episode of Durrinda walking around town, getting ready to stir up some major shit. It's like Durrinda getting coffee, Durrinda walking with Luan, Durrinda going to someone else's house. They're always like these little drive-bys. It's like Durrinda's the only one still willing to pretend she likes everybody. It's actually pretty true. So we learn that Luan's wedding is, well, we know Luan's wedding coming up, but Luan is inviting 250 people. And Durinda is the only one invited because basically, you know, she doesn't get along with Carol after Lasha with Bethany, it was like Bethany, Ramona and Sonia and Tom, you know, et cetera.ora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora andora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora and Dora andora and Dora and Dora andora and Dora and Dora and Dora andora and Dora andora and Dora andora and Dora and Dora andora andora and Dora and Dora and D Hey, you want to go crazy? Hey, it must be like that Nora at front movie from the 1980s,

or as I like to call her Mario Efron. I give it two thumbs sideways. One of my favorite films, you've got Mario. Where Mario hangs, plays a very sad father, who finds his love of his life at the top of the Empire State Building. I, he ends up getting married to Mario Ryan. It was almost as good as my other favorite movie called Working Mario. It's a movie where Mario takes the Staten Island ferry to Manhattan and goes by the Statue of Liberty and makes dumplings

for Sigourney Weaver. I loved it a lot. What's the famous film, Mario? Where Mario is a little red-headed orphan? And everyone is mean to ha? But then, she's adopted by a rich, bold person, okay? It was almost as scary as that movie called Fatal Mario Traction. In this movie, Mario plays a deranged woman who boils a bunny of her love.

I didn't see the movie because I like bunnies, and I think boiling a bunny is Day Class A. Okay, I'm sorry, Day Class A. I'm sad. Okay. So the man's like, well, I only want positive energy at this wedding because meeting you so many. This is just certain magic there. And when it happens, it's like, oh, good.

We just saw your text. It's not magic. Yeah. This is nothing magical. So Durinda's like, uh, if you know who coming, Sonia, don't say a name. I'm not gonna say a lane. Oh, Sonia. Stop saying a name. I'm singing lane. Ronnie, you're saying it wrong.

You're you're Luad and I have to say Sonia. Who's like that? Sonia. Well, I can't invite her because she says double-sided things. It's like a tape, like a double-sided. She says so many double-sided things. I'll be here for you and the marriage doesn't work out. I mean, that's pretty nice, you know. That's nice.

I think it's a very supportive thing, like a double-sided tape. It's better than Ramona. She's like, I don't want to be here for you, okay? I don't want to have to be here for you. I'm sorry. Yeah, so it turns out Durinda is really still mad at Sonia from everything that happened to reunion. I think actually the reunion Just drove a wedge with these women whatever whatever Tenative peace had been with the group that reunion was was crazy and now there is a line in the sand and so Durinda and Sonia I don't even remember that they had such a few that at the reunion, but I

Guess they did Sonia's often gives interviews or whatever because Durinda said she fell over the summer on horrible person They're all there's this shows Unique and that they're all mad about what they're reading in page six, which is kind of amazing, you know? Everyone else is like, you know, reading something on the internet, like an internet comment and getting mad,

but these writers are actually in page six. I wonder when, I'm trying to remember when the last season ended. It had to be in the summer because it started airing around April, early April. So it probably went until about July or so. So honestly, it looked really sunny and warm in all this footage. It was weird because they talked about the election being 20 days away, but at the same time it looked like summer. I know New York went through a heat wave, but I still think that vicious reunion was relatively recent in all their memories. And so I think they are still reeling from that.

I think that's why there's so much acrimony amongst all these women. Yeah. Um, and Sonia, of course, is just doing another sex storyline and during the tease it off, she's like, you know, what do you do? What do you do best? Do you sex thing off Broadway? Okay. I mean, personally, I'm not interested in watching middle ageaged woman teach a cute cumber in a banana what to do okay that's

to say I was so confused when she said that because we hadn't actually established that she was doing some sort of off-brow away things was like what is Dorenda saying? Katzizonia who's like my fat she's practicing her lines in the theater and it's the final performance and she still doesn't know any of her lines So they're having a rehearsal with her and she's like my fellow readers penis and nipples Jesus fucking Sonya well the show is called Sex tips for straight women by a gay man. So already it's doomed They're like take your little p-hole. Here's how you fist.

Good of all, John. Fine, John. Would you really want to turn a mom girl spit in his face, right in his face? Yes, so Zonya is doing this wacky, you know, edgy off-brought-wave fringe festival types play where she doesn't know any of the lines and we just sort of see, she's like, I took chocolate, when I take chocolate, I can't remember my lines. Like, that's not a thing, but okay. I get cast. Yeah, I shouldn't have gas before the show because when I have gas, like, you know, I just have gas and he's like, well, then don't have chocolate.

And all the lie, every single thing Sonya says in this has something to do about banging people, taking off her clothes. It's like she's struggling so hard. And Sonia has kept that, my vagina still work storyline going longer than any other housewife. She is like really in the final inning of just that vagina working storyline. And she's gonna hammer it home. I feel like we're gonna see Sonia go back into decline this season. Last season was like the rebirth of Sonia. She was some drinking. She was funny and with it and sharp and everyone

loved her. I think this season we're gonna see her go back to Crazyville. Good. I like Crazy Sonia. Me too. And which I would be the worst person in AA with a your sponsor. I'm like no you were more fun when you were drinking. Maybe you could just have a couple of day I'd be like she know the the a word sponsor in the world. But um at one point she's like well, there's you know It's that thing where you're like getting a guy off and you're supposed like what is it again? You're supposed to like pull it and then yank and she starts doing this like jerk off of an elephant dick I don't know what the hell she's doing and the guys like no it's up twist over and down

it's like the queen please publisher the penis all over again girl please okay so to vinda to vinda at the park yeah Yeah, Durinda's based on like shit up. That's got change to be relevant. Yeah, and the way I was like, yeah, shut it. So then Lewand starts talking about Ramona and says that Ramona called Tom's ex in California digging for information in the middle of the night. Who would you believe it? Doesn't she've been understand time zones?

Who would you believe it? Doesn't she've been understand time zones? You want a thing to color in the day, but at night? The middle of the night. It was probably like 6 p.m. And then we get another reunion clip where she's like, well, if one of your friends, like let's just say, when if your friends know something about Tom, would you even want to know? It's like, don't, don't, don't, don't't don't. So I texted her and she never even texted me back.

So then we actually, unless I miss anything, then we actually go to remote apartment, right? Yeah. She's like, I want to take down this wall. And Mary is like, well, if you take down the wall, then you lose a wall. And also you lose some storage space. It's like, thanks, Mary. If you take down the wall, you lose a wall and also you lose some storage space like thanks Mario if you take down the wall you lose a wall that is nuts I hope you're getting paid a lot and you're like that's great you're gonna save me so much money

I don't have storage space I can't store anything so I'm gonna save so much money I'm always said you always want to have no storage space that way you don't have to be dependent on the man to give you less storage space, okay? I have Ramona's flirt with off the charts. It was hilarious. You're better than my ex. He never saved me any money. I'm having the time of my life. We're doing and reimagining my place. Hey, like now with young hip and fresh kite. It's light, it's eerie, it's fresh, it's hip, it's happy. I've been determined my life, okay, whoa, this is crazy.

Whoa, this is taking me back when I was a little girl. I remember once I had a little dollhouse, okay? And I tried to make the dollhouse look nice and I tried to change out all the furniture. And Jolyne Barterson said, no, you can't do that. Because you have no eye for these sort of things and then she's Deft on my dollhouse and to this day I've never played with a doll ever since then okay, so I'm sorry I'm sorry no dolls allowed my new hip happened in place okay

Okay, look look okay. She has something in common with Kristen You know how Kristen from Vanderpramp rules like talks with that one shoulder that twitches all the way up to hit her in the face Ramona is doing that so hard this season. She's like, twitching her shoulder and it hurts to even do it, honestly. I'm gonna have to start stretching before these recaps, but. Yeah, I just like to do these things.

Marry you. I was thinking, I put it on the market, but if I have a boyfriend or a lover, or a lover boyfriend, but I don't even have one. Do you know any nice guys for me? Okay, they have to be 50, not married, not have children or the children have to be out of the house. They have to be able to teach me back in my pants.

Okay, before they take my slutty, awful friend, the win, okay? Okay, and if possible, they have to like yellow plates because yellow plates remind me of sunshine, okay? She starts doing her cackel laugh and Mario just wants to get the fuck out of there I just wrote Mario is terrified and then Ramona Ramona walks away too close to him to the door And then she's like oh, marry out and she gives him like a little punch on the shoulder and then she goes So good to be to marry out and she gets she takes her head and she gives him like a little punch on the shoulder and then she goes, so good to be, she marry out and she gets, she takes her head and she gives him like a love bump

with her forehead to his forehead. Yeah, I noticed that. I was like, Ramona, what are you doing? And you could see he was like, am I supposed to kiss her on the cheek or is that inappropriate on camera? What am I supposed to do? I think I just want to get out of here.

I think I want to get out of here and change my profession, maybe move to a different country. You know, there's a picture of Ramona up at yummy. They're like, we are not delivering to that fucking house. Crazy lady. Very, it's like a fucking summer. You probably wasn't even a contractor. You probably just like knocked on the wrong door.

He's like, I guess I'd take down a wall. That's a great idea. You're Mario, right? He's like, no, I'm actually Jose. Mario, okay, got it. Great, thank you. So Fredron's equivalent, oh, victory dance. He's over at Bethany's Tribeca apartment.

She's like, well, and he's like, oh, no, wait, close your eyes because it's not wow, it's wow. Thanks. Yeah, and Bethany's like, I love when Bethany It's because it's not wow, it's wow. Yeah, and Bethany is like, I love when Bethany uses outdated slang, because she does it every now and then she walks in and she's like, oh my god, it's sick. It's sick. There's sick. Oh my god. It's sick. There's so sick right now. I know. It's like, honey, sick is back to meaning like actually sick.

Do you not remember your bloody vagina last year, but she's always also dropping little little things like last time I saw like when my ex was here, like it was a bad shape. There was furniture red, there was scuff marks. Okay, so he was abusing the furniture. I'm already waiting for this storyline. Every little thing she says, I'm like, oh, God. So now Jason Hoppy was abusing a couch. I'm just waiting for the Yutac Proman violin to start playing as she observes every scuff mark. This wall. This wall used to be so beautiful. This is a scuff mark on it. Like, I have a wall up against my wall. I can't do walls. Two walls back

back. So, um, see, it's, it's so feminine. It's so gorgeous. And for me, let me see, it's so feminine, it's so gorgeous. And for me, let me say it's so expensive. Okay, stupid. So then let's see. This is when she says the parking spot is worth half a million dollars a month. I was like, okay, come on now. Like honestly, if you're going to spend half a million dollars on parking, at that point, you just give up the car and just commit to Uber.

So we know that Carol's not going to have the easiest season in the world because we get the infamous clown music. It's like to go see Carol. So we got her her village apartment, her couch. I mean, you want to talk about an abused couch. I mean, this is how you know you're going to have a bad season when you when they open up on your couch that has open seams. When your couch is a metaphor for your life, you know, you've got a trouble. You got a bad season coming up for you. Just put some highlights in it.

Sorry, chewing my job at ship. A carol has so much of a chip. I think that, you think that there's creative visualization where you just really do your best to imagine something and you tell yourself, it's going to be true and then it happens like the secret. Like they say in the secret, if you want a boyfriend only sleep in half of your bed

because you're leaving space for the boyfriend to come. My point is, I've gotten really good at this because Carol is turning into my impression of Carol, which has never been correct. I've never even made an effort to make a correct impersonation of Carol. But then when she's talking to us, she's like, well, you know, I really love everything. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Whoa! Yeah, something's not going to go away. Did she have a cold? Did she have a cold that day? Because she was like, I can't even do it because her voice is like

Lilting but raspy at the same time of I can't I can't do it. It was like this. She's just really happy to be careful So this one we see Adams bleached hair and Durrindo makes her next stop of the episode Well, she's Durrida Durin does come to go over. So I'm gonna leave. He like recedes into the shadows. It was very strange. She's like, his head was emerging from this dark abyss in the corner. He's just crawling into a rip in the couch.

Yeah. I'll be in my rail. Five radishes out of seven. So Durin, it comes over. She's wearing her muppets, her like grover vest or whatever. Yeah, like feathers and that's when Carol's like, oh, you know, I really like Dorenda, but we win our separate ways. And then we find out that Carol has now baby plus two kittens. This is just trying out. And that Adam and that she and Adam are moving

in together. They're like, shacking up. But Andrew's like, I don't think she wants them and happy. She has no place to share. Well, we're just shacking up, not moving in together because moving in together implies that there's something more than just shacking up. And you know, I don't care. He could do whatever he wants want it's just shacking up. You're always thinking, okay? Yeah, it was thinking it's Kierre. Yeah, well I liked how there's a flashback because there's a part about their unique bond, aka the fact that they're both widows and they would see a flashback to them talking in London. That was like two years ago, it looks like it was from 1997. It's like their hair was like from a different era.

Something was very different. Yeah, especially Dorenda. Yeah, that's basically, it was all Dorenda essentially. John is literally crushing the life out of Dorenda. Well, so then what's funny is that they're talking about, Carol's Dorendo saying saying you're not a mean girl You know I shouldn't have said that you don't have a mean bone in your body And I was like okay, so this is the Carol

Rehabilitating my image season because everyone thought I was a mean girl because I was too buddy buddy with with Bethany last season So I'm gonna cozy up to Durinda like no one she's like no one is ever called me in my life a mean girl, you know She's like no one has ever called me in my life a mean girl, you know They basically agree to a truce and pretend their friends and then the conversation turns to Lou Ann and to bring this like if we want to have to bachelor palying Miami. I'm not going You know on 51. I don't need to see a male stripper let him not them sexy about a police man in a thong. Let me tell you something if you're going to boutique you need to go see a male stripper because you need to have your standards adjusted. Also they're not like the real New York cops in the donut shop there's the actual people who work out pretending to be cops. You know that Duranda right?

She's like I just saw a Pepsi ad and I'm very conflicted about this trip and now Very controversial. I'll only go if I can give a soft drink to the officer And this is when she said can't get in his underwear and laugh pants to me. And laughing, that can explain me more. I don't see what is that word. And then Carol's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Carol's like, I hate that I have to be in the storyline right now. Can I just hang out with Bethany, please? What can I do to throw up and not be a mean girl, but so over it,

over with Bethany, Bethany's like, hey, dad. He's like, okay, miss, okay, miss Bethany. You we have arrived. I think that. Yeah, she yeah, she's shows up at Sonya's townhouse. And Sonya sends sends like one of her interns down to open the door. And so Bethany comes in and does that thing where she's like again sort of looking at her phone. Hi, hi, what's your name? What's your name? Nice to meet you.

I was like, okay, so this guy's name is what's your name? Okay, got it. Hey, what's your name? Thanks. Thanks for the door. Can you get my jacket? What's your name? He's like, can I just buzz her up? She's like, no, you can't buzz anybody up because remember, we buzzed up Duane Reed and I was pooping. It was like only Sonya. Of course, Sonya was dating someone named Dwayne Reed. Listen, you can't buzz them up. Remember when I was dating Sherwin Millions? Remember when 31 flavors walked in here and I was pooping that was horrifying.

Remember when 31 flavors walked in here and I was pooping that was horrifying Basque and Ed Robin show that thing So Beth needs like I'm a partner and spokesperson for you know this this close thing like dress for success And it's it's poor women who need clothes and they're gonna be so excited when they find out they're getting hookah stilettos Yeah, so they start going through her clothes and she's showing her around the house because Sonya needs to sell her house. She's like, this is my baby's room. We've seen pictures this year of her gorgeous daughter who's a freaking model. I mean, she's so beautiful.

And I was shocked that she's this old because Sonya still has her in this little kids' room. There's still like coloring books on the shelf. Yeah, well, you know, time stopped for Sony about 15 years ago. So that child was probably very excited to get out of that house because she's being dressed up with like little curly, you know, little curly hair and like a little hat and a, you know, hidey, hidey style. And she was like, mom, I'm 21. Let me go, mother. So she, they're talking about Leigh Wynn, of course and and her play and Sony is like

Well, I didn't invite Lou to my play because she's just so self-absorbed or maybe I should say Tom absorbed and I guess I'm just still resentful and definitely is like okay, you know what just let it go That was last season that was a gift sent to her a fruit basket for taking out the trash. Okay. She does have to let that go. I mean, especially because she's, you know, I understand she was hooking up with Tom for 10 years, but I don't know. Like it's, it's really, it was, it was getting tiresome last season and it needs to be. Yeah, because see wasn't even mad and total remote or told her to be Yeah, true, so then the now this is where we find out some good juice because Sony is like You know, I'm invited to the wedding, but I can't go which is Luan said that no one was invited and then

He's like well, yeah, I was invited and I said I'd go if they paid me or I Would go if I could sponsor the bar and I'd give her a cut Yeah, which I thought was actually hilarious because you know We are always saying things like you know She probably wouldn't if she got paid it like you know She bethine essentially just got ahead of the story because that's what everyone says well We heard that Bethany wouldn't go unless she got paid and Bethany's like yeah, yeah, no, I need to get paid I'm wondering I got a guy paid, there's my friend. Yeah.

That's so true. I like that Sonya was like, well, I have to go to the cat. I got to go to the cat every year. What? She goes, but the reason no one's going is Tom's penis. Okay. We can come up with all these reasons, but Tom's penis is the reason that what's going. So speaking of, we go over to Tom's place, which is so nice. We go over to him.

Oh my God, it's amazing. It's so nice. This townhouse. Oh, I mean, all I could think was where did they learn to play backgammon? Like where does he teach people to play backgammon? Because I just want to see where Ramona was in this place. You know, when you see that penthouse, I think all is forgiven. It's like, you know what? Luan, yes, you locked that down.

And you get that penthouse, get right on in there. Who cares about the sidejacks? That is an amazing penthouse. You deserve it. Yeah. You know, people say that Luan gave up her title, but she was also homeless. And now she's in the townhouse. So, you know, call it just surviving survival.

Yeah, I mean, it's better than Bethany's Soho place that, you know, I think it's, I think is the best place we've seen. I mean, I was like, Florida, I was like, I had that rooftop, rooftop huge thing that seemed to wrap around every, every, every room's, you know, this beautiful view. I was like, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You want to talk about a happy apartment? This one, chops. Well, I've got a great man who's charming and funny and who happens to have a fabulous townhouse. So she calls her wedding planner Teresa and she's like, okay, we have the welcome bangs. We have the DJ.

This needs to be special because the first time I got married was just in a in a courthouse and this time I want a fairy tale wedding like Cinderella. So we've got the Marriotti band right? There's a crooner on the second floor. I'm like a crooner and a Marriotti band. Okay. There is no fairy tale with a Marriotti band playing. Do we have the draft?

Do we have the draft? So, Dorella is like, I cannot believe I work last Tuesday's to a Marriie band playing. Do we have the draft? Do we have the draft? So, Dorella's like, I cannot believe I work last to use to a Maryachie party. So, why she ran out? Like, fuck this place. Now, the pigs in the blanket, those are on schedule, right, Percotel?

I'd like to also mention that in this beautiful penthouse, they showed in the kitchen a cookie jar that said Tommy's cookies And I didn't know whether to be really grossed out or too laugh. That's what kind of did both Poor Luan is just such a lost soul sometimes. He says I'm not losing my identity I I carried the Countess torch for a long time and now I'm Mrs. Dacastino That is losing your identity. Not in one of those identities are you Luan? Probably in both of those, your identity is being married to somebody. Goddamn Luan.

You know, sometimes you just have to change the count title for the wife of the man with a cookie jar. And by the way, you know, she probably got the cookie jar. That when people say, well, we got Tom with his hand cookie jar. So I know I bought him the cookie jar. What's your point? It's time is cookies. Oh, I just need to make sure this is special Theresa.

I want everyone to have a small cookie jar that they get to take her. So, her Mona, she just gets a baggy with crumbs So over at Bethany's so she has this really old dog cookie and it's it's barred off from the new dogs because she's got two little puppies She's like yeah well, I'm gonna do a new dog because like this one like less faces almost dead So we got a I had a choice between three one of them I was like no and then the other two I just brought over I figured I decided later I mean now I have dogs like seriously what am I doing like dogs this is crazy

Like I see like my walls up like that talk about dogs tomorrow like I'm gonna be on the floor like just like dying crying Like you know what like I'm just putting my I'm putting two walls up and the dogs can be in there being put a trade And then you know it I don't want to see them for another 10 years until they can be okay sorry I like that the beeline of real housewives of New York this season is what's happening with everybody's dogs I feel like the pets really haven't had enough attention on any housewives show well I guess well Beverly Hills obviously well and and we must never forget Mielew a very proud dog. Yes, that's true. Very proud dog.

Well, knock upstairs is still in somebody's eye boogers. By the way, we know I do want to mention before we get into the scene that we did also have a scene of we went back to Bethany and Sonia going through wardrobe and they're getting rid of all this stuff and Sonia's closets and you know, a son suddenly had a story for every article of clothing She was like, well those jeans I wore those jeans on the yacht. You know when I go to Central pay or you know like Blombasburg like flambasburg with that like you know, it's like we check it out. Is that a real place? Yeah, yeah But I like these Gucci's perfect for work I like it one point so I'm like, oh these are really cute shorts. We have to wear a top of it

But you do you have to wear a top of it. But you do? You have to wear a top of that, really? She said, oh, whether she say, oh, she's like, oh, look at this. I used to wear this when I was dating Prince Albert Monaco. He just left it. I would always wear it for him. I'm like poor, poor, poor ass, Sonya wandering around Monaco in the same clothes every day,

just following your Ann Prince Albert. Yeah must have there's no skirt I must have left it in Monaco. So sad. So then so then back up Bethany's apartment. I can't believe I skipped that scene. I'm so sorry I just scrolled too fast. No it's fine it's fine because everything's cutting back and forth. It's hard to remember what happened where but You know Bethany if there's if there's never been an example of white appropriation here We here we have it with Bethany naming her two little dogs biggie and small See also her opening line is also from the wire It's not forget Bethany she's like I's like, I'm gangster.

I'm gangster. I'm something. I'm now. Well, actually, it wasn't Bethany who said that it was Carol when Carol came in and Bethany introduced the dogs to Carol. That's when that's later on. Carol's like, Oh my God, that's perfect. So gangster. Oh my. Oh, please. You really thought that I didn't even write that down. No, she did say that. Carol said, Oh, that's so gangster. I'm like, that's so white. Hashtag. Carol so white. And we're white. We get it. We're white.

But that's really white. I mean, you just like you look like Ramona and whiteface right now. That's how white you are. So anyway, Bethany is sold her apartment or Frederick sold it. And it's just Bethany freaking out over her millions of dollars, which you know, could for her. And she's doing it right in front of a wasa matter who's earning like $5 an hour. Wasa matters got to like pretend like she's a copy. I'm like, you better give wasa matter lunch. I know wasa matter and wasa going on are both reacting in their properly paid way. They're like wonderful Bethany you deserve it

Bethany. You deserve that extra $250,000. Anyway I am going to go have some ramen. Do you have any catch up for these fingernails? I'm about to eat Bethany. You're wonderful woman. Oh, Bethany, I forgot to bring you a serving of my favorite soup ketchup soup. That's what I have every single day. But congratulations on squeezing out $250,000 more dollars from someone. I feel like you're never going to get Bethany to pity you when you're talking about lunch. She's never going to be like, I need a better lunch. She'll be like, good for you. Catch up, suit.

Good for you. Skinny girl. Yeah, catch up. So come out with a tomato suit for skinny girl. Skinny catch up. I'll at least steal the idea. It's called skinny cow, skinny cow suit. So over Ramona's apartment, Durinda makes her next stop.

So Durinda is her next stop. It's like Durinda's just going from like the place. It's hilarious. So she gets over there and Miriam's there and she's like, nice to meet you. Her weird accent that we can't figure out. Yeah. And Durinda's like, Durinda's like,

Hey, hey, oh, I love it here. And she's like like nice to meet you Durant it doesn't even know where say can you be in everything going okay, I mean Nice to meet you How's Sarah Lawrence that's Avery you're talking about Oh So Let's see Ramona's not there because she's-

Ramona's- she's on a lunch date. Yeah, because I went on a lunch date, but- Ready to mingle, okay? Ramona's still in this like really annoying phase where she's just really, um, really advertising how much she's dating, you know, is that thing when you're like newly single? I'm going to date, I mean demand, Okay. Sorry. Sorry. Let's face it Wouldn't you want to date me? Look at me. I'm wearing a fur fest and air-air laying pilot glasses. Okay It's crazy and horrendously

Yeah, yeah, I figured you want to take look at you. Yeah, I told Mary, just text me with the predictor here, because I was like, fight me, it's a way. Ah! Ah! Ha! Now Ramona, when they flash back to Ramona or not flash back, but when they cut to her talking heads, that's when you see the surgery.

Yeah. And it's slightly terrifying. It's not a face lift to surgery. I think it was just fillers, I think a lot of fillers. It's her eyes though, there's something with her eyes like you know when you're you know when you do that my hey my name is chubby and you push your face forward and then chubby hits the wind and the joke and you pull your face all back. That's what it looks like. It's not even a lift. It's just like she's like okay I need to get something done about my temple skin. They're like okay.

Hey, I need to get something done about my temple skin. And you're like, okay, pull it away. It's weird. It looks like the hamburger. Well, either way, I was very excited because they had a little salad for lunch and Ramona served them on yellow plates, okay? Okay. Sunshine. This is like, send up.

Send up. Send up. She's like, we're not feeding you cocoa. So stop asking food. and Dorenda goes Who cares how old is that drug anyway? Just feed us over She and cookie can just got her time and together and die So Ramona's like, is it okay to say I enjoyed John at the top of the James Hotel and Dorenda's like I enjoyed John at the top of the James Hotel. And to end it like,

Oh, we got a breakthrough. Reminds like to be fair. I was at the bottom of the James Hotel, so I really enjoyed him up there. It was nice. How poor hotel would rumble a little bit. You could tell when he was walking to the bathroom. Hey, I've discovered the way I really like John the most is when there's an entire hotel building in between us.

I would really love John under the sink James Hotel. That is gonna be great. So she of course it immediately while we get a flashback of the dry cleaning party with Ray, but they were trying not to show Ray, but they couldn't help it. They couldn't help it because he was all over that party. So we only got half of him going, and it cut off. Like come on. It was like an ethereal echo of the memory of Ray. He has to come back. They probably knows.

There was so, I mean, that guy, he was the best thing to have in a Bravo since Allison Du Bois a one hit wonder who we're gonna talk about for years and years afterwards The difference is that Allison says she didn't want to go back to Bravo Ray wants to on his Instagram He's always like hashtag Robo Has tag read Hashtag trash hashag we're in my socks bitch so Ramona of course they start talking about Louis and so she's like I'd find the interesting because I'm seeing Louis and tomorrow and what I don't get is the past year she had problems with Carol and I was in between them to

make oh no no oh yeah she's like I was the one I was bridging the gap okay I was just trying to make everything okay with everyone doing yeah you did do that she eats her salad she's like why she wouldn't invite me to a shower at my friend's house is beyond me hey yeah yeah because and because Dorenda's essentially like well I think that lew things that you can spiral against her her. And that's what really sets off Ramona because she's like, you know, she's like, I've done everything, you know, I tried to help with this,

I tried to help with that, which is all bullshit because Ramona always has an agenda. So yeah. And she's standing up. This is like already manic Ramona, which I love that we got this in the first episode. But Ramona stands up and starts pacing around and she's like, can spy it?

Like when we tell her, her fiance is sucking face with somebody and that's conspiring. Get a brain, Lvian. And then she tells us it being good friends is conspiring, then we would conspiring. Yeah. And then she tells the story. She's like, listen, okay, I'm sorry. Let's face it. They have an open relationship.

You know, Lou, she went down to Palm Beach. Oh, when she was there, she was hitting on a 30-year-old guy. She's hitting it. He hitting on him and hitting on the path through. In the bathroom. In the bathroom. And then he's like, I'm sorry. I have a wife.

And guess what? His mother went and told my girlfriend's mother okay I'm sorry uh durinda's like what and durinda's just she's like scratching her neck she's like look I've walked all over the damn city today okay can I just see my salad in peace they made me shoot with a damn street vendor still doesn't tell me let'm a property makes them do what is. You and Daddy was just a guy in the park. Not racist. So Bethany, we're at Bethany's apartment and Carol comes over and she's like,

big hands, smells. Gains, yeah. That's sick. It's sick. Sick joke. So Carol is obsessed with the election. She's and anyone who has Twitter knows it because she's still going off all day, every day, yes, about the election. And she's like, let me show you baby's new favorite toy. It's a Trump dog. It's a Trump dog. I think even if you were very liberal and like you just are so Hillary or Bernie

Sanders doing through, you just had to laugh at this scene because I mean, first of all, so many of us were not that far away from what Carol was saying, but almost, but to see it contextualized with silly housewives coconut music, like, bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo bo, boom, boom, boom. And she's like, well, obviously, obviously Hillary wins. Oh, God. He's on the phone. And Bethany stops her and me. Tries to stop her. She's like, seriously, stop. This is like all day.

You're a maniac. Like, seriously, you just need to drop it. Like, who cares? Stop it. Stop it. I get it. I know. She's the whole, she's like a black hole vortex.

Like literally, she's a shoving cat lady who needs the lighty day. Okay. I get it. I know. Just stop it. She's the whole she's like a black hole vortex like literally She's a shoving cat lady who needs the lighty day. Okay. I got it. I read it I can't like what's your brand like I like as your brand like a cookbook vegan cookbook or like political pun it like I honestly I can't like it's like too much for me like I like honestly if you talk about Trump one more time I can be done with like honestly like just so my neck and was like my my blood run red and just like that Trump Trump win I can't anymore girl I'm not blood run red and just like that Trump Trump win. I can't anymore girl. Like a little bit of fire and rush up.

Like she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's saying how hilarious going to win in a landslide. And I'm like, no, it's like, it's like in the one hand, it's like, oh my god, reliving it all. But the other hand, it's like, this is hilarious. It seems so long ago. Honestly, it was like watching stranger things. It's like, is this a period, Beast?

It just seems like a long time ago now. And Bethany but's her head in a cabinet. She's like, I can't do this. She's telling she's telling baby. I can't do this baby. How do you do this? Do you do this? Like, how have you not killed yourself? And she's like, hell is she frettling on? Yeah, he's like, Luan. I was like, oh, no, she really hates him. Yeah, he's likely way and the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it. She's like, he just shows up at parties with all hopes. It's so sad. My carol's not as good as yours. I don't know what happened to my carol impersonation. He's just bringing around Melania because she's named after a famous chocolate. bringing around Melania because she's named after a famous chocolate. Or a cookie. What is a Melano? Oh, that's the Melano. The Melano. I was like, huh? Okay. Never mind. Sorry. I can't believe my cookie

knowledge has fallen so far. Well, maybe next time you'll see what's inside, Tommy's cookie jar. There's a lot of cookie references in this recap. Lot including the dog. Louanne and Ramona, okay. So Ramona and Louanne meet for lunch. And she's like, before she, you know, she's telling us before it starts, she's like, well, I'm having to have this lunch with Ramona

because I just need to tell her, stop talking about me and get yourself alive. Ramona. Look at look with that. So Ramona is doing her favorite, like, I'm texting people and I don't understand anything going on a brand new and Lou Ansa is high and she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I mean, she's reading the text from a doada.

Avery. She and her friends are so cool. I'm basically like one of the friends. That's why I've decided. I'm just going to heart. Okay So they have this like So they have this like friendly pattern like this big Like so great. You look like you want to watch me. I saw your born is yeah, I'm just born is okay Like born is so then I just ignored her. Because Lewans, like,

I haven't seen you since the Hamptons. She goes, oh, I've seen you here and there, the wean. She goes, yeah, like at Borneys. I saw you. Oh, you saw me? Yeah, you were across the street. Guess you didn't see me.

So then it starts to slide into passive aggression even further. And Lewans mentions the bridal shower and when I was like, oh, yeah, it was that Pamela Morgan's my good girlfriend's place. Did I mention she's my good girlfriend? You had it at my girlfriend's place and I wasn't invited. Loonion. What was it?

You know, so Sonya through it and Sonia has the list of the people. So, you know, it wasn't really me. It was Sonia with a list of people. You didn't make the list of the people. Yeah. Sonia didn't think to invite Ramona really. Did she say it was Sonia who make the list of the people. Yeah, Sonya didn't think to invite Ramona really. Did she say it was Sonya who did the list? Yeah, she said Sonya threw it for her, but it was at this chick's house.

Pamela's whatever. Yeah, so I said it was a list. So finally Ramona was just like, okay, I've had enough of this sense and sensibilities friendliness. Here we go. Why didn't you invite me to the bridal shop with the Wien? And then the way I was like, well well you've been doing a little Nancy Drew number and I didn't appreciate it. Would you believe it? Nancy Drew written by many

different authors can you believe it? I don't believe that at all. Sorry. I don't know who Nancy Drew is but you know what my favorite detective is Mario Drew. That girl was so good. Mario Drew is one of the most compelling mysteries I've ever read in my life I mean it turned into a movie with Julian Roberts needs. I thought this is it, but I'm sorry. It did not pass Two stars out of four So, you know, Mary up. Why would you call someone from Tom's past To find out information. She's like well, it's because people come up to me. Okay, the we end. I don't see anything because I know it doesn't matter to you because you don't want to know, right? Do you want to know? She's like, it's not my fault, the way

I'm. People come up to me. So like, when I call them, it's not my fault. They answer the phone and then they start telling me things after I ask them questions. It's not my fault. She's like, I don't know what you're talking about. She says, Oh, well, something happened in May. Do you want to know? Luian? Do you want to know? She's like, Oh, okay, Ramon, you saw his ex. Yeah. And why would an ex go to a newspaper and say to a newspaper, we were kissing. And then he calls me every day. And she was quoted in the newspaper paper. Well people say all sorts of things in the newspaper. For example, it's 80% chance of rain today. Is it raining? No. Would you believe it? No precipitation.

It's basically like a really silly version of the Matrix. The wind. Do you want to know which pill do you want to take? You're about to go down the rabbit hole, okay? Mario X I need more like I couldn't be with Tom, you know, because I need more She's just hiding ahead in the sand like Ramona. How long was Mario cheating on you before you finally? Come on now. I mean, the other psychic and fucking Morocco told you his ass was cheating. It still took you two years. Well, I just you make a good point in all in all reality. She probably really a lot of this is probably projecting a lot of her feelings from that marriage onto the win. Yeah. And, uh, and the fact that Tom is also a cheater. Yeah, but Ramona does my favorite Ramona thing.

When she starts getting so mad, she's making ham gestures. She goes, look, you can turn a blind eye. She puts her hand in front of her eye and then opens it like a shutter. So funny. I liked it all. So then she gets to give me all these like backhanded things. And Luanne is like, listen, I am a strong, and there's no blind eye.

I'm a strong woman. Everyone's like, I don't know if you're strong. I'm sorry, you're not strong. Pick up this weight, okay? Pick it up. All right, now we'll put another one on top of that. Pick that one up, okay? Now pick this one, okay, pick up through these tables, okay?

I was like, Ramona, I'm sick of doing these, these CrossFit games with you. I will not do another burpee Ramona. I'm not going to listen to father. It's the workout of the day. Okay. It's the wild. She goes, you just can't take what people tell you. Like, so he kisses girl, he has sex. I don't give a shit.

Look, why don't you just say, I don't care. Like we're open. It's fine. If I't give a shit. Look, why don't you just say I don't care like we're open It's fine if I fuck other people and he goes just say that just be honest and she goes well Ramona Here's the truth we're together So you see how Lou Ann never really lies. Yeah, yeah Which is how you know all of this is true and Ramona's like a bit of advice like oh god all of this is true. And Ramona is like a bit of advice. Like, oh God. She's like, I was like, here we go. She's like, advice. Yeah, husband, that it's a small city. And so, you know, really, then because it's going to hit you in the face, okay? Like John,

doing jump jacks. It's always bad when Ramona starts pulling lines from Andrea from Real House as of Melbourne. Season one. A little bit Melbourne, season one? Little bit of friendly voice. Little bit of friendly voice, okay? It's a small city, so really in, even though there's no fishing gear. Mixing so many different things. And then of course, Ramon, it was the next classic Ramon thing,

which is like, look, I wanna toast your happiness, okay? I do wanna toast for your happiness and I I do want to toast for your happiness, and I hope you don't fall in your face with him. And while she's saying this, by the way, she keeps like, she's raising this big empty glass in front of Luan's face, and so when the camera cuts to Luan, this glass is in the way,

and her face is just getting all crazy and distorted, every once in a while. That was hilarious. She posted that on her Instagram, and I was dying. That is hilarious. She posted that on our Instagram and I was died. That is hilarious. She basically it's essentially Luan turns into Jacques when you put a wine glass in front of her face So she's like oh Ramona come on

She's like, I'm gonna phrase. He's gonna hurt you. That's all and I don't want to be there to pick you up That's one I'm saying. I don't want to have to be there to pick you up So oh Ramona All right Ramona, you know, I love Ramona. She's just so Ramona. All right Ramona. No more Mario Drew It's like fine and then she's doing the Kristen shoulder. We're like her shoulders twitching and hitting her in the face. Like, point, you know, be happy, you know, I mean, you know, you should be happy. The husband's at least sharing his penis, you know, it's a very good thing. Ramona, come on.

And then Leigh Wann, I love when Leigh Wann has all these things that she doesn't really understand them. She goes, Ramona is like a tap You you turn it and you don't know whether it's gonna be harder cold like actually you do that's why there's labels Yeah, you usually do I don't know what I mean unless you're So we have to yeah, I think that's what it is. She's been too much time You turn on hot and freezing water comes at confusing who invented these things

So finally finally Ramona is like no, I wish you all their happiness in the world And she's like do you mean that just I wish you all the happiness in the world The wind and I mean that's the bottom of my heart. Okay Just don't fuck it up. Well, thank you, Ramona, and I hope you have fun reading about my wedding in the newspaper, because you're not coming. Not on page six. Not on page six.

The wands really married. I read it in a newspaper. Hey, Mary-Yo, look at this newspaper, and then could you use this to make a new wall? Great. Everybody that brings us to the end of real housewives of New York. Yes, and tomorrow. So much fun. Yes, and tomorrow we have our Southern Charm recap. Some people have been tweeting at us. I guess

if you missed our announcement, we're doing Southern Charm recaps and people have been tweeting on us I guess if you missed our announcements We're doing Southern Charm on Fridays for the first few weeks until the band pump rules reunions are done and then Southern Charm will be moving to choose days. So don't worry. It's all coming up tomorrow Tomorrow Everybody thanks so much. We will see you then Later, bye We will see you in later. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to WatcherCrapins ad free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today.

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