Watch What Crappens - #435 RHOA & RHOP: Easter Kandi

Episode Date: April 18, 2017

RHOA kicks off its HISTORIC four part reunion with camel toe fascination and receipt wars, and then we’re off to visit the Real Housewives of Potomac bet on horses as the new chick antagonizes her mother in law. Let’s celebrate bad choices together on this holy week! Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. Timestamps: RHOP starts at 1:09:05 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air,

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Hi, everyone. Hello, hello, hello. How's it going, babe? Oh, you know, I'm doing well. It's Monday and, you know, starting off the week, I just ate a Reese's chocolate Easter egg thingy mubber. And it was good, but I was hoping to snag one last Cadbury remake before they were gone, but they're gone. No, you already had your one for the year. We've already talked about this. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

You're right. You're right. When you set a limit in public, it actually counts. I know. I know. I feel like you don't have to eat promises these days in public. So I don't know you do being. Okay. Well, in that case, I kept my promise.

Yeah. You did it. You're an honest person. It was a day of promise keeping. I'm a promise keeper. Oh, no. You're going to turn the audience in two seconds. That's not a good group to promise keepers. Good Lord. I mean, I am a promising individual.

This show is a lot of promise. You're like, I'm a promise keeper. I take care of the women in my life as long as they're subservient. Is that what the promise keepers were? For some reason that bring, you know, people are going to be like, that's not even what it was

I don't even remember it was I think it's something Christian and I'm Jewish so there oh so yeah I don't mean something totally different for you. I don't know you know what there there's so many layers to this podcast I have to say so many layers So many different ways to offend people before we even start talking about the most offensive people in the world, real housewives. I know. Seriously, I felt like I actually had a really good anecdote to start this episode. And I cannot remember for the life of me. So I'm just going to sip on my Starbucks and hope, hope things happen for me. Well, we have a new show today. We do not need anecdotes. Lord, no, we't know if we're doing real housewives of Atlanta reunion part one in the month long

Festival of ladies screaming at each other and sobbing. No, it is reunion balloons on Bravo They've never had so many reunions going on at once. I mean I'm surprised they didn't just have like a staff reunion like hey guys here were the pAs from five years ago Let's put them on couches too Hey guys, here were the PAs from five years ago. Let's put them on couches too. Remember when you had to cover Cynthia getting kicked in the stomach or whatever, Cynthia kicking Porsche in the stomach. I mean, seriously, it's just like every every any reunion that they can put up there, they will put up there right now. How dare you put Cheetos on the craft services table

on the gear I got divorced. on the craft services table on the year I got divorced. So let's jump into today. We're gonna talk about Real House House of Atlanta reunion and then the latest episode of Potomac. So why don't we jump into Atlanta? Okay. I love how Andy just makes this so important. Yeah, that's my point. Welcome to an historic four part reunion. It's like historic candy really. I literally wrote my first note like you got to calm down. Okay, you do. It's

not like the fates conspired and for the first time ever and mankind a fourth episode magically appeared. You guys were like, okay, we have about like 10 minutes extra of stuff we want to include. So let's just build a whole other hour around it. That's not historic.

No kidding. Abraham Lincoln sitting there like, wow, I really worked too hard to make the history books. I know. These bitches are making it historic. I mean, there's, there's actually nothing here that will affect history. Maybe skinny girl.

In a certain certain text. They quick cut parts of the reunion together as they do in a clip package. And he's like, it's historic. And it's like, and just listening to all the different people sobbing in their tiny little clips. It's like, first it's candy.

She's like, oh, Minicus de Porsche, he's like, meh candy. She's like, Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha can't be good for the animals, but no, there is a zoo. And it's like got like a tiger and three bunnies. And you're like, what? How does this make any sense? Yeah, it doesn't be for many. It's because they don't make enough noise. It would have to be like three tigers, a donkey,

and like a hyena to laugh like poor thing. Wait a minute. And like some random, I don't know, like a giraffe. But giraffes, I guess don't make noise either. And by the way, why was everyone tweeting about a giraffe this weekend? Well, the giraffe can be Cynthia. Yeah. Trying to make a noise.

Moving. Yeah. The giraffe just like is always around the kitchen island. Remember when I bought a house, it's like shut up giraffe. Eat some free leaves. The giraffe is like, my daughter is just so beautiful. Now I'm going to make her the face of my new bag company. Be quite draft. You don't have a bag company.

You're a draft. Can you be carry a bag? The draft moves down to the pond. Look, it's my new lake house. Shut up, draft. You're a draft house. You're a giraffe. And you still walk less awkwardly than Cairo. Congratulations, giraffe. So the first thing Adi says, you know, he's back to top form, which I really like, as they sit down, because Porsche's dress like Ken from Real House was the Beverly Hills, when he liked buttons his shirt all the way down to his navel, and you're like, oh, you're 60, except it's Porsche, you know, and he's like, your boobies, wow,

look at your boobs understated, Pooey, your boobies. Wow, look at your boobs. Understated, Pooey, yeah. Yeah, I mean, to be fair, all the boobs were definitely out, but the boob segment was, it was above and beyond. I mean, but even before the boobs, you know, he sits down and he's like, well, welcome to Castle Co. And I was like, okay. And then he's like, candy, it's taken eight seasons

of being on the show and you're finally sitting next to me. It's like, wow, standing ovation for you, Andy. Wait a minute, that is historic. Okay, please. I was a hit. That's awkward, Andy. So here's the thing. So it's all the usual.

High candy, high cherey, high Cynthia, you know, but then it's, it's for the next eight minutes, because I timed it. Andy Cohen is just asking about their boobs, their vaginas, their camel toes. He did. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, His next one was like, oh, Candy said she saw four people had implants. Who are they, Candy? Hey, Candy, you got some implants, right? Kenya, are your implants real implants? Are they fake implants? She's like, these are real implants, Andy. I was like, well, all right, that's honest. And then Portia, do you believe that Kenya's boobs are real?

No. And it's like, well, they are. I's like, I actually, I mean, on the one hand, these women are totally, they love talk about their various parts and whatnot. But I was like, God, this is actually really insulting. I mean, this is really, really insulting to these women. That's just for eight minutes straight, talk about like what you do to your vagina, how's your vagina?

Do you have a camel toe? What did you do to your, do you have Botox? What about your boobs? How's this boob? Just like, uh, just made me feel gross. I think one of his actual questions was along the lines of, let's start with titays. That's what I wrote in my notes. I don't know if that's real or for how it's making it out, but it would be like him to say titays. I know. I like when he was giving Kenya shit. He's like, so there's a lot of talk about your boobs not being natural. He goes, poor show. What do you think about Kenya's boobs? Are they real or natural? And then poor shit tries to be nice. She's like, we're going to be here

all day. I better start this nice. And she's like, they said I've been nicely handy. They're hard. Those are not real Kenya. They look hard. They look like round logs like big stones that people put in their, you know, lawn like to hold down, you know, the lights that they got from the home deep, you know, those big smooth stones that they have. It's like like stones like stones. like, I like to win Porsche just turns to Shrengos and he's messy. They're just like, oh my God, this guy. So Candy admits to her boob job. Huge news guys. It's historic. Candy got boobs. Yeah. It's like, great, great. But she, she got her boobs after the season was done. So yes, well, she's smart, you know, most people like they're like, the reunion is coming up in a week. I'll get new boobs in a new face. It's like, no, girl, you need at least six months to settle down. Yeah, exactly. So after talking about how offensive Andy is about talking about boobs,

I'll talk about them for 20 minutes because I'm an hypocrite like that. Like that is, that is so sexist. By the way, that girl's boobs look like rocks in a pool. So it was literally eight minutes of that. I mean, eight minutes, I mean, you know, what? So which also gets me angry because here they are saying, it's a historic, I mean, and historic for part reunion. Well, we had so much content. I'm like, no, you're just stretching out a really long boob segment, which we're gonna have to probably revisit four times more every episode. We've had so many camel toes this season. I like when he asked Fager about the camel toes. He's like, Fadre, why are you obsessed with camel toes?

You say they're back, but where they ever in, and she's like, I've noticed, because you can buy them everywhere now, and they're like, where the sex store, and she goes, no, on Amazon. By the way, the camel toe comment she made was such a passing comment in one episode. The fact that he would open the reunion dwelling

on this point is so above and beyond ridiculous. How can you buy a camel toe on the Amazon? Is that real? And how did she even find them? Like, what was she buying that that was in her people also? Maybe she meant to camel back. Like, she has getting like a little, a little, getting a little book bag that she can sip water out of when she goes walking around. She's like, yes, I like to say very hydrated when I'm interviewing Johnny for a case that I'm not going to take on because that's nothing to do with me.

Thanks to this new camel toe from Amazon, my vagina can drink enough for 20 days with the sustenance. I'll never be thirsty again. So let's see, he asked about Botox and fillers. Can use the only one who admits it. Just fun. Yeah. And then Porsche is like, well, I got them one time, but in my job at

Dish Nation, I rely on my expression. I'm like, okay, getting method at Dish Nation. Porsche. Do not rely on your expression, okay? I tell you, if it weren't for Porsche's expressions, I would never almost tune in for Dish Nation. This is not a least grassberg acting class. I know. Where's Uda Hagan? I'll become Porsche for this. I had to turn down a roll and a check off play because of my bow tax. You know what's partial? Then when it, you know, she always gives too much. So she's like, well, I did kind of get a nose job. But it wasn't a real nose job. It just, my nose made a slope and turned up.

So I put some filler at the top to make it straight, which made it bigger. I'm like, okay, so we're also proud of you for actually making your nose bigger. What are these women going for? It's like your the strongest woman on this stage, for actually going with our bigger nose. Congratulations. Thank you for everything you do for women Porsche

It was it was I thought it was like really terrible so Then we get into something that I enjoy much more which is the ongoing feud between more manner and Shatter Shere So then we had a great, you know clip package where the women, you know We we we we we we visited the baseboards argument all, clip package where the women, you know, we, we, we, we, we visited the baseball argument, all that fun stuff, all the stuff that we know and love. You got baseball. Yeah, baseball watching. Watching Sheree walk through Kenya's housewarming party was fucking hilarious. I forgot some of that stuff. And that was one of our favorite scenes of the year. But it went way beyond baseball. I mean, when she, she actually had dirt on

her butt, you know, she had to wipe off dirt, a dirt print on herboards. I mean, when she actually had dirt on her butt, you know, she had to wipe off dirt, a dirt print on her butt. So I think that she automatically wins in the house. Like her house may not be finished, she may not have paid it off. It might get taken away by the end of the week, like literally who knows.

But at least no one had dirt on their butts when they could hurt her part. That's true. That's true. They just had dirt on each other. So Kenya, we learned that Kenya had had some intruders recently and she scared them away with the gun. And he's like, I didn't know you had a gun. I'm like, Andy, she was dating Matt. I'm surprised she only had a gun. She's like I also electrified my garage door. If it senses a fist coming through it it'll kill a bastard. She's like I also have a

trick garage door that Mac and punch it but has nothing to do with the house. I've actually got two garages when it's just a a trick, Matt, and to hitting it. It's like a scratching post for a cat. This way it doesn't scratch up your couch. Same concept. Scratching posts for men with too much broids, too many ways going through their bloodstreams. Oh my goodness.

10 years montage of all the sage she threw about Satoshi Shirei was really funny to be. Oh yeah, that was great. Because she made an effort to call them different things every single time. You know, she did the classic Sharo Satoshi campaign. Then it was, you know, Satoshi Sonone or whatever. She just kept making shit up and then she just got desperate and she'd be like, Satoshi bitch, I ain't never going to live here she'd be like, Shatto bitch ain't never gonna live here.

I was like, oh, no. Yeah, everything, yes, at certain point she just stopped rhyming. She stopped, she just was saying things like, Shatto, I fucking hate Shere, what a stupid ass poem. I don't know why I should ever build in the first place. She's like, Shatto, Shere's gross. It's like, okay. Maybe right here all funny first.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So then Andy has a very pressing question, which is, hey, did anyone have Titi sweat at Kenya's housewarming? And I love that. Porsche goes, ooh, I made my own breeze when I came in and went out. Because she got turned away so fast. I don't even have time to get to sweat. Although she did have to climb that hill immediately after she came down,

that that couldn't have been. That's true. That's true. I think everyone just had pre-titty sweat before they even entered. So is this where they Andy was like, oh, so there's a rumor that Sharay is not even living in Chateau Sharay. Is that true? And she's like, no, it's not true. He's like, okay. You got a rumor? You got a rumor? You got a rumor?

When he said so, oh, no, that was for Kenya. But he's like, so you're not living there? And Kenya's like, well, when I drive by, it's pitch black at night. There is nobody home in there. And she's like, I live there. Face when it's not done. Listen, it doesn't mean she's not living there. It just means she can't pay for electrical bills. Yeah, it's so rave for Christ's sake. And that's probably sleeping on the dishwasher.

What would you say? I said, that's on top of the missing appliances. She still can't pay the electric bill. Cairo sleeping inside the new dishwasher. Like, look at the, look at the mainboard on some point. And by new dishwasher, you mean a cardboard box that they put in in the space of the dishwasher? Yeah. Cardboard box that they just bring in a hose, too. Like, you got cardboard.

There's a reason why his name sounds like cardboard. And when Andy was like, were you shot when you, he said something like, can you did your jaw drop when you actually saw Shattosh Shirei? She goes, no, well, it dropped when I saw the fake marble in the entry. Oh, no. I get to his like, I had baseball. Yeah, it's like, I know baseball.

It's yeah. She literally said that. She's like, I had baseball. It's it's like I know baseball. It's yeah, she literally said that she's like I have baseball and trim That's a big claim to fame and he said she's like I don't have trim because I have a modern home Okay, yeah, cockroach. I also like getting in out of here more easily They're modern cockroaches. Okay, I don't use any culture either They're modern cockroaches, okay? I don't use any culture either. They come in and you hear Billy Joel sing that song, modern woman, you know, at the end, begin ruthless people.

They're like very modern 80s cockroaches with shoulder pads and giant cell phones. We're modern. Triangle, triangle makeup on their eyes. Oh, so ridiculous. I liked, um, I liked when the end when Andy was like, Kenya, why did you? Why did you and Candy go downstairs to Shred Spaceman? And Kenyans goes, oh, I was being shady.

Yeah, yeah, no, it's kind of funny when like she just doesn't even try to put up a fake story. She just admits it fully. Yeah, no, it was full shade. Yeah. And then when the fight gets so sad for both of them, like by the end of this house fight, you just feel bad for both of them because on shows like Beverly Hills, I mean, these, those women are living in mansions, you know, they're living in

20 million dollar homes. I mean, except for like Kim or like, you know, the occasional poor ones, Eden, et cetera. But then these ones, you ones, they build like a $200,000 house and they act like, you know, my show, so the rich and famous, because then it gets this low, sure it goes. At least I provided a toilet for my workers. I was like, oh my God. And he came and was like, yes, well, I forgot you.

That was an oversight. But guess what, I could pay for my house. He actually goes, how many leans you got? You got lean? You get lean. So then it gets like it. Oh, good. There you go. I was just gonna say, I'm just gonna say, Andy, and we're talking about this forever,

but this really was the first half of the reunion. I mean, it was the whole thing. Yeah. And Andy goes, so Shiree, have you paid your contractors? Cause the internet says you haven't. And she's like, the one who should be paid, where paid? And he says, oh, you're pulling a Donald Trump, eh? Which this is the second, this is the first time of two

times that Donald Trump will come up in a reunion this week on Bravo. Yeah, seriously. You won't leave us alone. Yeah. And then he asked, did you still Kenya's bed? And then it turns to Kenya. She's like, well, at least the lights in my home are paid for.

It's like just get sadder with each argument. Yeah, exactly. And then Portia Chimes in with some strange story that let that Kenya try to tell her African guy that she wrecked her car, but then he wouldn't pay for it, so then she had to tell the truth about something else, and then he paid for the house. I don't know what it was, but at the end, Portia just goes, truth to the bitch. I'm like, that was the most convoluted tea I could even imagine.

If that was truth tea, it's the sort of tea that people people give in, in movies to hypnotize is, you know what that was? That was like that pool on Kevin Keener tea right there. Yeah, it's that loose stool tea where you tea, but then it's just a mess after for like a really long time. I believe that it's like it's like it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's

like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's true because Porsche, when she's telling the truth, she can't really say it, you know, like it makes no sense. It's only when she's lying that she memorizes and answer.

Yeah. She's too stupid to remember the truth. She doesn't practice saying it over and over again. But then Kenya was like, how would you know, how would you know that? She's like, I got a line to the African man, honey. Because the rumor was that she was the first one to be a prostitute for the rich African billionaires, which I like that she's just got whole pride now. She's like, I was the first African prostitute.

Yes, bitch. True team bitch. Yeah. And then it goes this weird thing where Ken is being saying things like, I am so proud of myself for being self-made. You're like, it's just like really self-aggrandizing. And then she's start saying things like, if I ever talk about something, it's a fact. I'm like, hmm, not so sure about that, Ken.

Yeah, that's in and of itself is not a fact. I'm Andy Sid, so everyone else is fake news. And she's like, yeah, they can be Kellyanne Conway. Yeah. I did like also one point. I think it was Andy who maybe busted Kenya. I forget where it was. It may have been talking.

It was when they were talking about how Sheree, you know, copied all of Kenya's fixtures, etc. He's like, it's watery, it's watery. But and and Kenya was saying how Shreys House was not modern or whatever, and Andy's basically like, I think it was Andy who said, well, if she copied your style, shouldn't you like it? And Kenny was like, no, I don't even know what her excuse was

for that, but it was. I was a good moment. I'm your friend Angie the other day. And she's like, you know those light fixtures are from Home Depot, right? I was just there. But it was. I was a good moment. I'm your friend Angie the other day. And she's like, you know, those light fixtures are from Home Depot, right? I was just there. I saw them all. So, you know, there's something about when you go to Home Depot a lot, how you just know all the inventory, because there's only a certain selection of lights,

you know, it's like, I'm a key, you know, all the I key stuff when you do this. Yes, yes, you can tell you can tell the brand. And I love the energy could call that out Don't you have the same lights? Well, it was either that or the outdoor, you know, water fountain light So yeah, yeah, it's like on flipper flop how that's always the same back splash and she's like Torek I think that what I'm gonna go for is like subway tile But I'm gonna do like a little inset of this Moroccan tile. Oh yeah, babe, that looks good. Yeah, I think it's good. Torrick, I have some bad news. This back splash, he's gonna cost us an extra $1,800.

Well, I think it's gonna look good. Of course, you know, he's gonna look good. He's put in 10 houses already. I watch every single episode, the same back splash. Like exactly the same. Also, it just hit me that Kenya's saying, I'm so proud of getting this done all by myself. I was like, you had Matt doing it.

Like you basically fucked Matt the whole time to do it for free. They never paid him and then dumped him when he broke the garage that he put in. I think that if you break a garage that you install, it should be okay. Yeah, yeah. You break it, you own it, but you already owned it

so you could break it. Yeah, exactly. If you build it, but he already owned it so we could break it. Yeah Build it you can break it Yeah, so I love after like 10 minutes of this finally finally Andy's like so Kenya Do you like Chateau Shire and can you say no it's not myself, but I think it's beautiful actually What like Shatto Shire and he's like, no, it's not myself. But I think it's beautiful actually. Like what? What? She's like, you know, the style five years ago when she started building it was in and now it's not, but I'm glad to see her happy. Yeah, they both, and she basically was like, yeah, it was just a silly feud. It's all, they basically acknowledge that it was something dumb

that they cooked up for TV. Well, Fadra and Kenya have that in common where they just, they come on the show, they're like, look, this is it. I better fight with the bitch where I'm done, you know? Like, I need to earn my new season. So they fight and they can immediately forgive when someone says I'm sorry because they can just keep doing it over and over again, you know?

Yeah, exactly. They're like classic well-trained housewives. Yeah, so speaking of Fadra, we now transition into Fadra as a civic leader in the community. We see Fadra going to Washington, well, not Washington, but the DNC, Fadra, doing stuff for people and young black men, et cetera.

Stuff that's on the surface, very noble and great. But at the same time, we know it's fadre. So it's hard to really take it seriously. Yeah, you know what? I mean, attack shelter is attack shelter. But at least it's a compassionate attack shelter. It could be for something stupid. Like, I don't know, cars for kids. Have you ever heard of that charity?

Cars for kids. Kids don't drive. Who named this chair? Hello. Have I heard that? One eight hundred cars for kids. Then then then there's a car today. Yeah, it's like donate your car today. Kids cannot drive. Okay, you guys need better titling. It doesn't even make any goddamn. It's like a portion charity. I'm going to get cars for kids. Totally useless gifts. How about food? Guys, it was probably a charity called cards for kids where you like make little cards and them to kids make them feel better, but they accidentally registered it

wrong with the government. They're like, fuck it. We don't want to spend the extra money to change it. We'll just call it cars for kids and see what happens. If we let kids drive, then we can make money for the city when we pull them over and ticket them for driving underage. Oh, government. Let's do it. This sounds like something worthy of Fadre. So Andy is really giving Fadre a chance here because some of the stuff she did was really

nice. I mean, the pop-up sawp stupid, but the camp was, you know, the camp was great. Like that one actually made me feel things, which is so weird on this show. I'd like to squeeze some salties out. So that was good. And he's like kind of giving her a decent setup, even though we know that she's about to be torn down in the next four hours.

And he's like, how do you feel? And she goes, Lord, there's nothing God can fix. Like she's already preacher, Fadre. And he says, candy. So what do you think about that? Do you think that there's nothing God can fix? And she's like, I think it's bullshit. She's like, no.

I think it's bullshit. Right. Yeah, that was funny because Fadre was doing this whole thing. I'm always's bullshit. Right. Yeah, that was funny because Pedro was doing this whole thing. I'm like, I'm always optimistic about the future. I never say never. And I think God can fix it all. What about you, Candy? It's bullshit.

Yeah. Which is what you just said, but you know, it need to be a re-emphasized. Candy's like, if God could fix everything, he wouldn't have drowned everybody in the entire world, except a few animals and a fat guy in his wife Okay, sometimes you just got a start-o. No, it's fat Well in the in the musical version that I did he was huge Wait, there's a musical of Noah in the arc. Yeah, it's called children of Eden the first act is

Adam and Eve I played Adam very galey. Thank you very much. No wonder why he was so bored. Yeah, he was like, oh Jesus. Ron is talking about how Adam's talking about housewives again, girl, get me out of this garden. I'll take the app. I really need a snake. It's like, God, I didn't mean that literally. And then the second act is Noah. And Noah's always, in every rendition of Moses, except the old movie that I've ever seen, Noah's, oh, Moses, what am I saying? Noah wasn't in Moses.

You know what I mean? Did I know in the year? Yeah, Noah in every like live production or what, you know, I'm Christian. So I've been to a lot of Noah plays. They're always like hugely obese, which I find to be hilarious because Noah built a whole damn boat by his damn self. I've only seen Noah as being very fit,

not very fit, but like biblically fit. You know, like, like the way that Jesus is fit, you know, that's how I imagine. Jesus is like legit fit, though. Jesus has like washboard abs and stuff, like he's legit fit. He's like very runway chic, you know, like, fit though. Jesus has like washboard abs and stuff. Like he's legit fit. He's like very runway chic. You know, like I could see Jesus walking in Milan. He's not really like a fitness model.

He's more just like a high fashion model. Whereas Noah, I could see if Noah were like shaved because I always assume he has a beard. I could see him being more on like a like a men's fitness magazine. Noah, you're totally changing Noah in my head because I've only seen him fat. Well, wasn't Russell Crowe Noah recently and look who's fat now. You see what I mean? That's true. I never really thought of him. Honestly, I never really thought about what Noah looked like

under his robes because just I just I I've only seen him like like I imagine with like big shaggy hair and like unkempt and with like a little, one of those shepherd sticks things. And I'm just like, eh, I don't know what's, I don't need to know what's under the ropes there. But now that I think about it, he built an arc. Yeah, I feel like it's wise to not think about men with sticks too much. It's like, I need to date a man who can at least walk without a stick. I could imagine also very Colin Colin what's his face? Irish first actor.

No, not Colin Firth. Although Colin Firth could do it, but I feel like Colin Firth is more like an Abraham. I feel like Colin, you know Colin, you know he's like an a list actor. He's really hot. Farrell Firth. Colin Firth. Yeah. Farrow. Farrow first. Farrow. Yeah. No, no, Farrow. Oh, you think that he would know what would look like that? Oh my God. He wishes. I mean, no, Hollywood. No, no, no. I mean, real Noah is probably ugly,

but I've met I'm in a Hollywood Noah. Wow. Well, do you think that Fager would have a charity to build that arc? Just like how much do I get off from my taxes? How much will this arc cost Noah? I have nothing to do with this arc, but I just wanted to make sure that it had someone take care of it. Fasero would probably kill, you know, she'd probably kill an armadillo or something

and then say, well, I'm sorry that there aren't two. I don't know where the other one went. He just must not have wanted to get on the arc That's not in my business like no fader you killed the armadillo now. We don't have any future armadillos the armadillo didn't show up in a parking lot with the suitcase full of cash So I will no longer be representing armadillo This will really happen to the dodo bird. Fager told one dodo bird To go over to a mound or something. Oh, the other one. Okay, get on the arc. Oh, Lord. So yeah. So Andy, so back to the show, because girl, I can talk about Noah all day. Oh, me too. Girl, I am ready to get involved with this flood.

I'm ready to get biblical girl. So candy thinks that Fadre is fake on camera. She basically says on camera, Fadre X1 way is all nice and sweet and lovely or not really lovely, but the politician, you know. And then when the camera stops rolling, she says really shady, mean nasty stuff, which is what we've always believed, right? I mean, it doesn't take a genius to sense that about Fadre. Yeah. And she insinuated that she's nice to the cameras, but when she thinks they're not recording her,

even though they're in a scene, and I can't believe that because Fadra's smart enough to know they are always recording you if your mic is on. So she, like things like she did it that much, where she's like candy and puts her finger in her hole, her finger hole, she's like, oh yeah, fucking, fucking. What she was doing, that she knew they were listening she was just she was just whispering because

it's like when you whisper it's less offensive I don't know what they can't yell at me if I whispered it yeah and Andy said do you still know the kids from that camp like do you do you still talk to him she's like well of course I do and eat they write me in like my Instagram posts and my next goal is to send them to college camp. Oh my god. It's even true. Is any of this even true? No, she didn't say that. No, I was not saying. No, she's like, no one is going to earn college from selling like 10 she by sure shirts. So then it said though, it it said though that it's feasible that she might have said it which is why I was like wait a second did you see that because I can imagine

Pedro coming up with college camp a camp where you go to prepare for college it's all like kind of college yeah and it's all her just like talking to the kids about stuff that really doesn't matter about anything twirl calculus twirl calculus It doesn't matter about anything. Twirl calculus, twirl calculus. I teach women of five in AP twirl. I teach women studies. I teach women all over the world that they too can make a perfect life with a decent hashtag on a t-shirt.

So Kenya was talking about how she loved her time at the camp. And then I just like did you stay in that room or someone asked her if she stayed in that tiny room and she's like, I don't I don't remember if I didn't I just I can't remember. I'm like, you know, how's life amnesia is definitely a thing in these days, but amnesia over the little room. I mean, come on now. But at least Kenya admitted she was just bullseating because she's like, what do you do not understand? I can't recall, okay. I like and why should she?

You know, I mean, there's, you could feel for homeless people, but you don't have to sleep on the sidewalk with them. Yeah, exactly. That's what I always say every time I think about sleeping on the sidewalk. And I say, what? No, Ben, you're just too charitable.

So then speaking of which, there's questions about the checks. Someone asks, someone that readers is like, so Sharay wanted to brighten a bigger check than you did Kenya. Does this mean that, you know, can you finally admit that like who gonna check me, Bhutishir, it's sell more than, you know, Kenya haircare, or whatever it's called oh

Yeah, yeah, and Kenya candy because candy got so mad Well, no that comes in in a second, but basically Kenya Kenya was like well you see People can give donations above and beyond what they sold sort of of like what candy did. And so, you know, there's no way to know exactly how many things that's charatable, diadiada, diadiada. And she's like, but I'm very charitable. I'm like, really, I'm like super charitable. I'm charitable.

And I'm like, okay, so either charat sold more goods than you, which is why she gave more, or she volunteered more of her own personal money, which is why her check was higher. So either way, you would share. And can you deflect, deflects, deflects, of course. She's like, I'm very charitable. I gave $20,000 to that school that time. And he says, did Nini ever match that by the way?

And she goes, no, she did not. Like, you're trying to start a fight with someone who's not even here to deflect from the fact that you still got water and you shampoo models Well, whatever they still that school still got $20,000. So you know Whatever it takes Jesus so then it turns to candy and it oh shiree first because did she answer the question? first to go. Did she answer the question? Says, then it turns to candy. And she says, well, I give to cherish anyway, and I appreciate it, but I only

could acknowledge me for $500. And say, dramatically, he's like, well, that was an oversight. And we changed it that day, I got receipts. If you need my receipts, I was like, oh shit, we're in the first half hour and she's already going to pull out receipts. This bitch probably has a file cabinet under that couch But this is the first time ever that the receipts were literal like she has actual receipts Exciting yep, so next up when Kenyan Fager were friends and

One pop it because it lasted like 10 minutes and we said right when this aired when they got in that car And she was like are you I'm, are you ready to go, Louise? Well, you know that can end well because those bitches ended up going over the cliff together. Yeah, exactly, exactly. We know how that ended, ladies. Like, so we saw like a 10 minute long clip package of these two because again, they have to fill up time. So all those clip packages are super long, although they're super entertaining clip packages.

Yeah, this was a good one. They have to fill up time so all those clip packages are super long. Although they're super entertaining clip packages. Yeah, this is a good one. And I really like that. Siree comes ready with a rhyme for everything. You know, she's really learned how to do that. She's like, frickin' frackin' a crack. For a crack a whack. For a crack don't come on back. For a crack like man, pack.

Crack is frack. We can brag. Wack, whack, whack, whack, whack, whack. Frick and Frank don't even know how to play games. Frick and Frank only play tack. Frick and Frank like, whack. Are they ducks? Frick and Frank are, what?

I was like if she was angry. When she gets angry and she makes no sense. Frick, frack, whack, whack, duck. Frick, frack, whack, whack. Frick Frack, Quack Quack Duck. Like what? Frick Frack. They probably could have the whole reunion where they're just saying things like Frick Frack, Quack, Quack, Duck, Flack, Stack.

They just rhyme. If I had more patience, I would take a clip of every time Sharajas goes off the rails with anger and stops making sense. I mean, those are some of the best parts of Atlanta. Like her fight with Marlow, where it just turned into the beeping sounds. Yeah, oh my god She basically turns into an old episode of printer, you know Dot matrix printer Somebody with paper that is not the holes on the side

So then Porsche. I told you not to get close to that heifer. And Fadre says, well, maybe now she'll finally have a chance with Apollo. Girl no one wants your felony having husbands in their house. Excuse me, Sherin likes Apollo quite a bit, ladies. Thank you. That's my baby, ladies. Oh, my baby, hung up.

Nice to meet you, ladies. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums.

Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. I'm excited for Moshareine in the future. Serene will be back. So then this turns into the Kenya Fadre fight about Kenya supposedly did Kenya break up Apollo and Fadre's marriage. Why was Fadre so upset about the divorce party that Kenya threw in Hawaii? This is all this is all a spulship because Fadre starts complaining again about Kenya being disrespectful in Anguila. I'm like that. I mean, listen, that's a long of it because Fadre starts complaining again about Kenya being disrespectful in Anguilla.

I'm like that. I mean, listen, that's a long time ago, Fadre. You really have to get over that. I mean, this is old news. And I actually was very much on Kenya's side during this. They allegedly buried the hatchet. Kenya made a party slash joke in poor taste and immediately Fadre just kind of throughout the whole friendship.

I mean, she really did. And I thought that was obnoxious. Correct me if I'm wrong here. But Kenya actually said, I know that I should have stopped texting Apollo after the business deal went south, but I took responsibility for that. And I'm like, wait, didn't you make Apollo say that you guys weren't texting? I thought she didn't take responsibility for that. Either way, I get that they knew that. Yeah, I get that they made up and it was over by the time that

Fadre got re upset about it. But I think what Fadre is saying, and she said it a little bit more clearly this time, but it still wasn't clear. But the way I'm projecting it onto her is that she's saying, it's just disrespectful because our biggest fight was you flirting with my husband. And then the minute I divorce, I'm getting a divorce from my husband, you're having a divorce party. It's like, you're so insensitive. You fucking cow. That's what I do. Yeah, that may have been what she was saying, which is generous, but that may have been what she was saying, but it's still a failure projecting her shit onto Kenya,

because I don't think, I actually think that it was not that intention, and I think that, I think that there's some weirdness going on with failure in this divorce, right? Because she's not being forthcoming about whether the divorce or not, she's being weird to Apollo about it, then she's telling people that she is divorced, and then she's upset when other people are advertising that she's been divorced, and then it turns out that they're not really divorced, and then it's like,

there's all this merciness, and I honestly don't even know why. I don't know if it has something to do with some sort of financial whatever. I don't know if it's with some sort of agreement she has the producers about something else. Something is happening and I think that by Kenya making this like divorce part of declaration or whatever, somehow I think it foiled some plan she had. I don't know what it is. Yes, I think so too. Because she said whether it was as simple as whether it was as simple as she wanted to throw herself her own divorce party or like that was going to be her idea for scene or or maybe it's some sort of nefarious scheme that has to do with the pollen that's lost with who knows.

But I think Kenny did something and messed up her plan and then she was pissed but she couldn't say why she was pissed because it has to do with something meta-involving production. So she just has to say, come up with this bullshit. Well, she, from what the blogs are saying and, you know, Lord knows how much you can believe that. Word although, of course. Yeah, I believe every word they say. But from what I'm gathering, from piecing together all the blogs about it, she's trying to trick Apollo into signing the divorce papers with a lower offer of money than he wants to agree to. And for her to do that on camera, like for her to even mention it to Portia, I think she

was just trying to tie up a storyline for the end of the season or something and not let it get to the other girl. So next year she could have her, you know, year of pain. But she's not only is she shady, that lawyer lady that she has as fucking shady, because she made her come on, her name is Ronnie, right? I wasn't saying your name. Oh, is it?

Oh my God, I would be so impressed if there's a lawyer named Ronnie. I think her name is Ronnie. I'll just send that to my mother. She'll be so proud. But to bring that lawyer on TV and have her lie about it, because she said, I just had to tell you, congratulations, you divorce is final. So all of that is shady for her to make somebody else lie on national TV. I just, I don't really get what she's doing. Like I get that she's very vengeful and she's, you know, she's called shady, fadre, shady, fadre. And we've seen her be manipulative to an insane degree in the past. But usually she makes some kind of sense.

And I'm really understanding this yet. I agree. I even, even what the blogs are saying, I still don't totally understand how this all works. But either way, she is now going full on after Kenya. And then she says, Fager says that Kenya drinks like a fish. I'm like, you know, that I don't believe that. I believe if Kenya drank like a fish, we would be seeing it. These producers pick up on that and they exploit it like crazy. And if Kenya had a drinking issue, we would have seen her drunk

by now for sure. And if there's one thing that real households of Atlanta doesn't seem to have, as opposed to all the white ladies on all the other shows, you don't see a lot of crazy drinking on this show. You don't really see too many drunk and rages. Like there were, I mean, there's some time when Nini may have been in an altered state,

but there's nothing compared to like some of our favorite, like a Kelly Dodd. We don't see a Kelly Dodd or a Tamra or some of our other favorite drunkards that are on these shows, right? We don't really see that in American. Maybe we've released Hills every season that's been about addiction.

Yeah, exactly. We don't see any Kim Richards. We saw maybe with some Kim Zolciak maybe that in a day. She had some definitely some drunken moments, but but all those examples are really fun examples of alcoholism. Yeah, and we haven't even seen that really on this show. Yeah, so Kenya, that's the missing link for Atlanta. They don't have enough substance abuse. I think if anyone has been through therapy, it's Kenya. Because Kenya really is learning how to control herself at least publicly and give off a better version of herself for us because she turns it right

on her and she's like, uh, Fadra, I don't understand why you have to bring that old story back. Don't you remember when we got down on our knees and prayed? Yeah. Yes. And Pedro's like, prayer doesn't change the fact that you suggested a three-some in anguilla. That was the thing that broke up the relationship and they all go, whoa, whoa, she goes, no, no, I'm not saying it broke up my marriage.

I'm saying it was the thing that broke up the relationship between me and Kenya. And I was like, okay, well, thanks for at least clarifying that. But then Kenya totally bust her. I may be all out of order here because so much happens during this scene, but Kenya, oh, actually, you know what? That may be a little bit later. So I'll wait, I'll wait for it. She does, but she's like, this was all about the video. It was because. Yeah. Okay, it was that. Yeah, I'm sure it was. I was supposed to make a video. You didn't, you know, you fucked it up, didn't pay.

And so or accuse me of not paying whatever it was. I forgot what that was. And so I made my own. She goes, the Apollo stuff came much later. Okay. Yeah, that's what it was. And Kenya's her buster there. And I liked when Kenya just goes, you have been the most boring person on this show Since I've been sitting here and I was imagining you're just like turning be like oh Cynthia

I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. I'm sorry second most boring, Pedro I'm not counting Cynthia because she has giant hair today. I Didn't see Cynthia because she's already moved over to the kitchen island that they have by craft service. I'm not saying she pretended how to use she pretended she knew how to use the tape measure this season. I'm not including Cynthia because she's busy signing the grip to her modeling agency. She's like now this will cost you $800 to learn how to walk to her. So you know, then Kenya also goes after Pedro again. And I think it was like a totally accurate read.

And I mean read in sort of the traditional sense, not the shady read. When she says that Pedro wants to have two lives, you know, on one hand, she wants to ki ki with Porsche and be like, yes, I'm free, you know, and then the other hand, she like suddenly readjusts and is like, how well the public and I think about me and acts all-prima and proper. And I think Kenya's right. And I think that is, that's sort of like something that I can't tell if it's something that we love about Fadre about how fake she is or is it sort of annoying how she goes back and forth between these two personas. You know, I don't disagree with that either. I think that she's onto something there, but A, she's talking about a housewife.

So of course they're trying to control what people see. And B Kenya is the faked bitch on here. She's hires people to be her boyfriends for Christ's sake, or she'll say things like I haven't spoken with Matt since the blah, blah, blah. And he's like, I fucked you in your truck last week. So there's a difference between being fake and having two personalities though and I think there is an important distinction because Kenya is fake hilariously so I mean that's like what makes her so amazing and awful all at once right but Fadre is two different personalities. I think that that's I think

that's actually a fair assessment. I mean we all have different personalities in different sides and we show different sides but I do think that there are a lot assessment. I mean, we all have different personalities and different sides, and we show different sides. But I do think that there are a lot of incongruent aspects to Fajr's personality. And the images that she tries to portray are often in conflict with each other. She will appear with this big roughly thing around her neck and talk very formally or faux formally about being

a professional and being a lawyer. This is what we have to do. Society, this is that. Then she appears, like all silly and loose, not like slut, like loses in like relax or whatever. Like Kenny said, Kiki, you know, and you can be both in life. We all know that we can be professionals at work, whatever. But I do think that the differences that I think that

Fajr is trying to promote an image of herself that is often in conflict with the other side of herself, as opposed to just showing us two different sides of our personality. Yeah, when people are that, like, oh, Jesus, help us. Whenever they get like that, you know that they, you know, are defrauding people. I mean, anybody who has like the 700 club ever running on their TV or ever did as a kid, yes, that's a bunch of damn bowl. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Tammy, Tammy Faye could have like cried and sang to the heavens as much as she wanted to, but she's

she'll still take your money at the end. Yeah. And that's kind of how Port Fadre always is to me, but that's also kind of why I love her oddly enough. That's what I was saying. I can't tell if it's a good thing or a bad thing, right? But Fadre, again, another example of this is after all, after Fadre has really been pretty nasty to Kenya here. Fadre is like, I have no ill will towards Kenya. I'm like, bitch, you're the one bring up grudges from 2013 and

in anguilla. You have a huge amount of ill will towards Kenya. A lot of people do. It's okay. Join the Viveka Fox train. It's all right. I have a belief that if I pray for Kenya, her spirit could be cleansed of the sins it committed in anguilla. I like them saying Anguilla so much like where do

you think you're that? I know there was that Anguilla Anguilla had a bravo moment because they went to Anguilla and then I think real hassles of Miami went to Anguilla and then that was that was the end of that. Such an odd choice. So Andy says, well, would you pray with Kenya now, Fadra? Such an ass. And he goes, he goes, if Kenya asked you to, would you pray with Kenya? And Fadra's like, yes. And Keny goes, I didn't ask. Now, I got sage on me to clear the demons.

And she's like, well, glad you got it on yourself. I like when Fadra really doesn't come up with a comeback, but she'll go for one anyway. Like she's the queen of the URs, you know, she'll just say you are in a very like, you are. Yeah, vocally interesting way. I'm just make you forgive her. So now what happened next really bothered me to my core, which is that we went to commercial. And before we came back to reunion, there was like a little interstitial promo for watch what happens.

Okay, and Andy Cohen sitting there be like, tonight I'm in a chair talking about boobies and penises. And he's sitting there and I don't know if it's always been there, but this is the first of my noticed it. He has like a little bookshelf and right over his shoulder, over his left shoulder, there's a book. And all you can see on it just says, Gloria Steinem. And I was like, how dare you?

How dare you sit here with a Gloria Steinem book over your shoulder? I'm watching what happens. When your entire career has been built on pitting women against each other and having them tear each other down. And we're sitting here reveling in these women talking about boob job, both into their boobs, with into their vaginas, who slept with who, whose house is better than what? Like, how dare you But how dare you have glorious sign up behind you know even more than how dare you sir

How dare you man glorious? Steinem for even going on that show yes because she went on that show. That's why he has the that's why he has the book And it's uh he asked her what do you think of the real housewives and she's like I find it disappointing Yeah, well, I I wish she I mean listen we love these shows We love it because we but we also haven't made an iconic stance on feminism So we're okay with it. She's like I never would have told women to burn their bras if I knew that they were all gonna start putting 50 pound breasts on themselves Yeah, yeah downright dangerous these days

Yeah, so when finally so after after this glorious time of moment, we now have a package about Porsche and her anger management and Porsche Porsche Porsche Yes montage of of Porsche's anger scenes. Yeah, you want to get pop don't you? It ain't going to happen. And then when she got got really mad and started making nonsense, she's like, me and my hat is ready to beat that bitch on the sidewalk. Like what? It's your hat of fighter.

What are you talking about? So then they started talking about the fight where all the girls on the bus on the way to wherever we're giving her shit about her anger management. And Kenya was basically bullying her about her anger management. And she's like, well, first of all, it's not about anger management. That's just what it's called. It's just regular old therapy. I was like, no, it's not. Okay. Yeah. It's anger management therapy. What do you? Yeah.

This is the anger better. You're going to therapy because you like physically harm people. What do you want to call it? Yeah. You're going to all therapy. My mom was mean one time. No, no, no, bitch, you hit people. So, uh, uh, Porsche is basically saying, uh, her relationship with Fadre is really genuine. And, you know, she's been trying to talk honestly with Fadre this whole season. And she's not going to get mad, even though she found out the truth was that Porsche did say, or that Fadre did say Portia's ready to come on this trip and talk to everybody about her engagement. Well, the, just the, the contact because I had sort of forgotten it was that Fadre had

told Kenya that she thinks the reason why Portia arranged that escape room thing that they did was because Porsche wanted to tell everyone about how she's in anger management and she's excited by it and all the progress that she's made. So Fager told that to Kenya. And Porsche didn't, she never broached that topic then, but then later when they had that big lunch in advance of something or another, that's when Kenya was like, oh, Porsche, how is your anger management going? And Porsche flipped out, and she used Kenya

of bringing up to try to stir the pot or whatever. And Kenya was like, no, Fadre was the one who told me about it, I was just asking, more or less, that's what it was. And there was a question, I think one of the viewers was like, you know, Fadre why didn't you say something? Like why why didn't you say something during this moment and And sort of like and what was Portia's reaction just seeing that Fadre

Actually was the one who told Kenny this and Portia just basically gave a whole bunch of excuses to Fadre But like well, you know, I called her and I was really upset. I'm like, I doubt that she was really upset with her. Yeah. Fadera. I, you know, she's really trying to do this girl power thing by sticking with Fadera. Yeah. Fadera's really not making it easy. My God.

And this wasn't even this shouldn't have been a fight really because she was just trying to smooth things over when she told Kenya like she's been doing good with her anger management. I'm sure she'll open up about it or whatever. And then Kenya is like, well, we heard you were going to talk about your anger management. Um, so that wasn't really even mean of Fadra. It's just that she has to lie about it. Why not just say, yes, I said that you'd probably be open to talking about it.

What's the big deal? Of course, she might have been terrified of Porsche's hat because, apparently, it was a really scary hat. So, well, I mean, later on, Candy does say she reminds everyone, like, she's like, she tells Fadre, you know, like, you could have squashed that entire situation by simply speaking up. That's all you had to do. Yeah. And she's right, you know. But then it gets, but then it gets into why did Candy have followed Porsche out of the restaurant, you know, Porsche was going off and losing your mind and Kenya is like, well, we all followed her out Like I don't provoke. That's not what I do. I'm not I'm not a provoker like yet's exactly that's literally your brand on this show Is that you provoke people?

Remember when you pulled out a megaphone and yelled in Porsche's's face. She punched you in the face in return. Yes, and you couldn't even get the audience on your side then. I mean, the audience was still like, go Portia. Like, the audience wanted to see you get dragged across the stage by your terrible weave. Like, we wanted it. You deserved it. You do provoke it.

And she follows her out. And she's like, well, it's not my fault that Portia can't have a conversation without flipping out. And she said without flipping out. And she said, flipping out isn't walking away. Flipping out is, you know, dragging a bitch across the stage to get it straight. And I was like, well, good. Porsche is learning something.

I know. I do like that. Porsche's standards are that, you know, her version of not getting angry means not like assaulting you with her fists It's instead like getting up Cussing some people out and storming out of a restaurant that counts as like a civil response to something She gets like I like pouring for every day that she doesn't beat the shit out of somebody Yeah, I like when porousha like diagnosis Kenyans. She's, you are an angry person and all you do is hide.

And Kenyan just goes, thank you, Dr. Dumb. That would be a good TV show, Dr. Dumb. Dr. Phil just not ever knowing the answer to anything. My husband is cheating on me, but I won't leave him. Well, I don't, what? Well, what you got to do is you got to stay with him then. But does rain fall down a gutter? I don't know.

Anybody anybody got an answer for this girl? Does rain fall up or does the rain fall down? Sometimes I think of rain fall sideways. If you're falling up, are you really falling? Two plus two does not equal for young lady. Yes, it does. My bad. What were we talking about? Antelopes. So, um, so then again, it's like, why does Fadre sit there quietly during the restaurant flip out? And Fadre says, well, you

know, I had to be professional, you know, I have peers and I just, I can't be seen young people at restaurant. You know, I'm a professional. I'm like be professional, you know, I have peers and I just, I can't be seen. Y'all are people at restaurant, you know, I'm a professional. I'm like, oh, now you're a professional. Like, you know, you have a husband who went to jail, you walk around and fish and have bathing suits. You shot a donkey booty video. And now, like, you saying something, just one small thing at a restaurant would have been the thing that would have made people think you're not professional. As a defender of marijuana sellers and crackheads who threaten to blow me up at my office, I need to make sure my reputation is sparkly and squeaky clean.

I need to make sure that my reputation is sterling, lest I request ridiculous to come to a party and wave his penis around and he turns me down As a woman who makes sure that people like ridiculous Employed by slapping their dicks on caddy's mother's face Must make sure that my reputation is sterling. Thank you. Yes. And so then this is when Candy is, and Fator's like, as Porsche says something like, I get that, I understand that, or I gave her peace of my mind,

and I understood what she was saying. Fator has a way. And so Candy was like, say now, Borsche, like what do you always make excuses for Fager? But like, I don't get, thank her to see, call. And that's when it starts to get into Candy. And Porsche, and Candy is right, by me eat. I don't get. I can't. I see. Oh. And that's why it starts to get into candy and Porsche. And candy is right, by the way.

Candy is totally right. Yeah. That fight between Porsche and candy. Porsche just needs to listen. I think that she was just kind of ready to jump on candy because she wanted to prove how loyal she is to Porsche. You know, that's like kind of a housewives thing. But going up against candy, why would you do that? And candy really didn't even say anything

that bad. And Portia denied that Fadre had anything to do with it. It was all Fadre's fight in the first place. Yeah, because Portia's like, I absolutely called Fadre because that's the sort of person that I am. And candy's like, no, it's not. And then at that point, you know, well at that point, I think Kenia was on him jumped in out of nowhere. I was like, that's how she suffered verbal abuse from all the girls. I don't even remember why I remember why she started talking about that. It's all about me being abused.

And she goes, this woman on this very stage called me a bitch. And Porsche goes, you called me a bitch, you called her a bitch twice. And Fager goes, me too. Can you go, there's a difference between calling people bitch playfully and calling them bitch in real life. Yeah. It's fucking can you logic? Well, I mean, it's kind of true because when they did a flashback to like 10 minutes ago on the reunion

Which is what they did? You see can you be like well bitch? You know that's a da da da da da da and it's like that is different But then be like you're a bitch bitch that there is a different. I mean, that is the same if this is actually literally the same fight from on the boat last year and the whole thing was then, that was Porsche who said, bitches like passing as a joke to Cynthia, and Cindy had to turn the stomach, okay? So now Porsche all of a sudden has become the literalist,

and it's like, you call that bitch. You know, and it's like, don't you remember what your whole argument from the boat? But either way, now the question is this candy of the night. I think she remembers anything from the boat. I mean, that was when the PA had to come on and tackle her, and she was shaking under him. I mean, that girl was possessed. I think that whole anything from the boat. I mean, that was when the PA had to come on and tackle her and she was shaking under him. I mean, that girl was possessed.

I think that whole day is forgotten. Yeah, I think so. So then, does Candy have an anger matchment problem? I love it. She's like, she's saying, right, it's like what I said last season,

don't start none, won't be none. Okay. Ah. Ah, it's not none. Sartan won't be on So then Porsche she starts with his bullshit where she's like What are you ever gonna celebrate some? I don't know what my Porsche voice is turning into Edith bunker I don't know what's happening. It's late in the podcast, but she basically You do it you just do it because she's basically like no matter what you say or do you will not get power over me

What you do to me already been done to you Which is her version of women. She's like yeah, she's doing like the color purple doctor Phil Like she's just Okay, she's trying to get back her baby. She's like, you have no power over me. And then suddenly the entire reunion set dissipates and an owl flies through. And candy just gives that look. And she's like, yeah, she's an expert. Yeah.

Well, so basically Portia is, I guess Portia was saying that her issue, let me back up. Candy was saying, listen, we started the season on good terms, you know, so like, why didn't I get, you're acting like, oh, you know, you called Fadre to get a clarification, you give her, you had Fadre at the benefit of the doubt because you guys have, you guys are close, you guys are friends. But we didn't start the season not as friends. We were friends, like, we started off on good terms to be in the season, but if there was an issue, you guys are friends. But we didn't start the season, not as friends. We were friends. We started off on good terms to be in the season. But if there was an issue, you didn't call me, like I never got that.

So what the fuck and Porosha does this thing like, what are you ever gonna celebrate someone? What are you gonna celebrate someone? And that is when Candy loses it. Because I mean, I think we've seen it on the show, and I just believe it, that Candy does celebrate her friends and she lifts them up and she helps them. I mean we saw Candy give Porsche a part in that that in a mother's love,

you know, so. Yeah, Candy put Porsche in a damn musical. She gave Kim Zolciak a song. I mean, that woman's terrible. And then even take the royalties. Okay. And yeah, she gave her two songs, really, the second one was path-saggressive. The re-aided and me and a thing, but then, so then Candy's like, I gave you $5,000 for celebrity apprentice, and I didn't do that just, you know, to look good or whatever, and I did it because I wanted you to win. I was doing it to support you,

and then there's like fighting back and forth, and Porsche goes, I can't be bought I can't be bought. I'm like are you yeah she goes well that was charity. That's different It doesn't count when it's just for charity If I give a dollar to a man on the street, it doesn't mean that I can't yell at him later Portia but the fact that she yeah the fact that him later. What? Porsche. But the fact that she, yeah, the fact that candy is like, I literally did it to support you. I gave you $5,000 to a shitty, you know, version of celebrity apprentice.

And now, and then Porsche comes back with what you said. And then it's like, I can't be bought. I can't be bought. She wasn't paying you off, bitch. Like, I love my, you asked her for money. I love myself be seen on the short to nigger version of celebrity apprentice. If that's not friendship, I don't know what is bitch. Yes. Mom, Portia, I like you. I really like you. Please, please don't do this.

Oh, and then they just start yelling at each other over each other because candy, you know, can't take it anymore. So she's yelling, Porsche's squealing, and then we get it to be continued. I think the reason why candy also flies off the handle with these sort of things is I get the impression that over the years, even before this show, people have really tried to take advantage of her generosity or that this is a thing that happens. We see it happening with Johnny. We see it happening now with Porsche. We've seen it, we see it happening now with Portia.

We've seen it happen with Kim Zolciac. I think that she has been burned a lot. And each time it hurts more and more. That's what I imagine. I think watching these shows, or when you watch so many of these shows, there are times where we even feel like, God, this hurts my feelings.

It's so bad watching these people do this to each other. And I think living it, I mean, it just breaks people down, you know, by the end she's just going to be in the fetal position, rocking back and forth like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For candy. It's okay. She can buy and sell all of them, so it doesn't matter. I mean, especially now that she's getting royalties on the Ed Sheeran song, I mean, she is set. That awful, awful song. Yeah, she'll be fine.

They tell Johnny Wimmsall her money. Oh, by the way, did you guys hear that she is counter-suing Johnny for defamation? He signed an NDA and she hired him as an independent contractor. That fucking idiot. Fucking idiot. I can't wait to see him get torn apart. What a fucking idiot that guy is. I mean, and who are these lawyers that they don't say, oh, well, you can't get employment compensation

when you were hired as an independent contractor and agreed to a certain salary. You idiot. And you signed an NDA. I mean, you can get sued for a lot of money for that. Well, who knows how forthcoming Johnny was with his representation? And they snobblown the water and the blood is not coming from candy. They're like, okay, easy paycheck. Oh my god, Johnny, what a mess. What? I mean, what is your 23?

Oh, what is your stupid bitch? Getting recommendations from Candy Burris. I'm sorry. Like if he's getting recommendations from Shirei, okay, one thing, but Candy Burris is like legitimately a very successful woman who I feel like has sway. And... Well, yeah, why would you sue any of the rest of them? You're not going to get money from any of them. There's a reason Capital One hasn't come to my house. Like, what are you going to get in my dog? Good luck. Walk in three times a day and suffer through the guilt trips Who give you from the couch?

Steve a Johnny So let's me a post song. Oh what what what song? Remember that song by Poe Johnny Little Johnny listen It's from the grunge era just just let me be I've had my coffee now. I'm awake Well, it's like my poet. I feel like that should be my band Poe I think she went to Princeton. I could just redo all of candy songs to see if she'll see me I don't pay my telephone bill. I don't pay my automobile

telephone bill. I don't pay my automobile. Oh my goodness. I wish Candy would come on this podcast. Isn't that be fun? Yes, except she just think do this a lot. I like the ones who actually will dish, you know, Candy's too nice. Even the people she hates, she's like, I'm proud of her house. It's like what? Did we, did we ever, I remember one time I actually did a conference call thing. There was like a moment of time where I was invited to do those conference call press junkets, which were the worst thing ever. And I'm so glad I'm also at the worst.

The worst. But I did one with, I think it was with Candy and Cynthia. And I asked some random, one random question, I don't even remember what it was. But I recorded it. Was it on, was that on this podcast that I put that, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Remember, let's just move on to Real House of Potomac. Yeah, I feel like that was more like TV gasm days where we had to do that stuff.

If it's B-side blog, who knows? Um, so next up is the speaking of poor. Let's move on to the real house size of Potomac. Yay. The land of fake rich ladies with white stoves. Let's move on to the real house Oz of Potomac. Yay. The land of fake rich ladies with white stoves. Yeah, and tube TVs. Like the one I'm sure is the champagne room.

So, as usual, we went really long with Atlanta until Potomac heats up a bit, so we're just going to do a quickie of this. Yes, I have to, I have a comment right out of the gate. Do it. So as I was watching the opening credits and Asher's like, I played by Patelomix rolls and now I'm going to play by my own. I'm like, your entire arc, the season has been about the fact that you want to run and rest, run the way you want to run it and Michael won't let you. So you're not playing with anyone's rules.

You have no rules. You're serving kangaroo meat against your will. That is not playing by your own. We're talking about. You got me feeling emutions. Well this week we got a new housewife heavy episode with Monique. A little bit behind the scenes with Monique. Yes. Pulling back the cage in odd Monique. So the first scene is with her and she's playing with her kids and her friend Gigi is over from their old girl group. Yeah, that's actually what Gigi's real name is, girl group.

That's why it's Gigi. Gigi was hilarious by the way. I love Gigi. Well, Monique ain't fucking around. She immediately brought someone to start a huge fight with someone else in the cast, which you've got to, you know, you've got to appreciate that because Gigi's whole reason of being there other than making fun of the giant underwear, the Monique's husband. I mean, I know that that guys of football player, but those underwear were huge. He's a big

boy. He's 65 and 310 or something like that three 50. Yeah. Gigi said they look like a pillowcase. And I was like, that's the biggest pillow. I was like, what pillow? That is like a, that is like a euro sham. That is a euro sham. That's like 26 by 26, bitch. That's a full size sleeping bag. But she, she's, Monique's getting ready to go for the induction into the sports Hall of Fame that her husband's being honored with. Uh, but she immediately, we immediately see why she brings GT on because who are they talking about?

Let me see. They were talking about um, Sheree's husband Eddie, I think his name is Eddie George, not to be confused with the football player Eddie George and And you just like oh, I know him and then like looks down and sips her cocktail and it's like Interesting all right, okay, I can't believe you know him that is crazy I never would have mentioned it if I knew it would be this awkward whoa nuts So it's funny because I thought Monique and GG were really hilarious together. That a really good rapport and they just were really funny and I see myself, you know what? I think I'm on board with Monique. I'd like her. She's funny. She's keeping it real.

She seems pretty bright. I'm on board. I have to say, my opinion changed a bit over the course the episode. Did we see her? Oh, Monique. Monique is awful. And that's why I'm on board with her too, because she was like, you know, we're going to see my mother-in-law. And I just don't understand. You know, she's just jealous because she really was sad when another woman came into her son's life. And she's trying to make it sound like I'm trying to be supportive of this lady,

even though she hates me for no reason. And then we see her for 10 minutes with this old lady. And I'm like, you're lucky. I get it all burned you alive. Yeah. Yes, exactly. So then we get a scene of Cherisse in her in the study in her room. You know, Cherisse is still on her, her like very sad, faux Nancy Myers, woman's liberation moment,

and she's like, I'm gonna do stuff for me. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna turn this study into a champagne room. I'm like, oh, listen, champagne just has not worked as a personality trait on the real housewives. Heather DeBro, bless her heart. She tried to make it a thing. It never was a thing. It'll never be a thing.

It's too easy. It's too cliche. So, Sherees, just stop with the champagne. Okay. Find another beverage. I mean, the summer house kids made rosé their thing and big black hawks to BBC's. But I mean, champagne, you need to step it up.

Make it interesting. Especially because you know it's like the cheap trader Joe's champagne. It's not even champagne. It's like $5 per sec. I'll get over it. Sherees, you don't need a room for that. Okay. Yeah, exactly. What exactly not even champagne. It's like $5 per sec, okay, no for it, Sharice. You don't need a room for that, okay? Yeah, exactly.

What exactly is a champagne room, by the way? What exactly is that? Especially when she's like, you know, a champagne room, you at least like to think that there's some veneer of sophistication, and she's like, yeah, let's make the feeling like a vineyard. I'm like, oh, God, Sharice, no. Please don't make it like the Paris casino in Vegas. I like that you use the word veneer when talking about Thorees,

whose teeth can't fit in her mouth because she bought the wrong size. Oh, yeah, I'm going to do something special for myself. And if any of that I do end up selling this half, it'll only add value. Like, yeah, yep everybody everybody out there looking for an awkward champagne room where the study's supposed to be. Yeah who wants an in-home office already built when you can have a champagne room. Am I right everyone? That's a tack on another zero on to that house. And the decor on this show is so lame you know it's just gonna be a big white room with one of those tiny fridges and accounts from Ikea. know it is. Yeah, maybe a barcle-alonger, she found it out of the closet.

Oh, she makes me so sad because she starts this one, she's telling all this to her two little dogs, you know. Those are her friends. She's like, I do it that this bad show for myself. And then the pay for gay Sheldon comes in. And he's just like, fabulous. Yes, y'all pay, some paying moon. It's gonna be a dream for you, and he's just like fabulous, yes, champagne, champagne, it's gonna be a dream for champagne,

fabulous, circle, circle, snap, round the world, hey, do it. Actually, I believe that Sheldon appeared in the flashback when she first conceived of the champagne room. And in present tense, she was pitching it to her daughter who could not have been more mortified. She was like, mom, and she's like, look, I just gonna sketch of it. And it's just like on the level of Lizzie's bathing suit plans from Orange County. It's like mom, that's not a sketch of shapes. Yeah, there's just random shapes around there, random blobs. And she goes, well, you have

to you through a matinee, then what do you think? It's like Katie for Vanderpump rules 20 times. Hahaha. Multiple blobs, a KV lava lamp. Yeah. So then we go to a nail salon where Jazellen Robin are getting their nails done. And Robin's like, I want to do something special for the preekness.

Oh. And she's sort of like a restaurant. By the way, this looked like a restaurant to show. It did because it was, it had a big long table that you could, so it looked like a restaurant by the way this looked like a restaurant to show. It did because it was it had a big long table that you could so it looked like a bar. Yeah, it looks like the bathroom of Oz. It's like we can go at lunch. No one's there. Yeah, well, you know to get more seals at Oz, Michael and I have introduced Manian Petties to have with your email.

When Jazelle was asking how Robin's kids are doing, you know, things are going down hell in that relationship. Nobody wants to hear Robin say for the 20th time, I knew no way they don't pay attention to me. Like they only listen to one. They hit me. One, one. So then Jacelle is like, no, I know everybody's got something to say about Jacelle, but I do not think that Robin would have something to say about Jacelle. And Robin's like, oh, I just didn't agree with what you said. And then Jacelle was really upset that Robin had talked to Karen,

and she was like, Karen is a walking living ball of messiness, which made me laugh or remind me of a hamster ball with Karen in it, and she just runs around and sort of pees. Yeah, he is gossip And Robin is not hiding at all that they get in a fight because her Confessionals she just can't help but being truthful. She's just being shady and rolling her eyes and all of her Confessionals, so you know, it's gonna go bad really quick here But I like just L because she's just such an asshole. She goes, oh my God, I can stand by what I said about Sherees having an affair with that fireman, but putting her business

out there on national television doesn't reflect well on me. And for that, I apologize. I'm like, yeah, you're apologizing to yourself. Yes, exactly. I was like, okay, you're apologizing to yourself. Yes, exactly. I was like, okay, the motivations behind that apology were very self-serving, but only to sell. No, at least you don't have to apologize to yourself on national TV while also mentioning the fireman again. Got a level.

And then there was Robin who didn't understand why Jacelle was so annoyed with her. And she's like, I mean, it's not like I went on national television and talked about her. And I couldn't tell if it was a totally unselfware moment where she was not, she forgot that there were cameras there or if it was a point to dig at the fact that Jazelle went on, watch what happens. I think it was either way. I think it was either way to dig her going on national TV because then after she had like a tiny bit

of life in her eyes, where they kind of opened a little and I was like, ooh, she's being shady, I like that. Yeah, that's what I think. I needed to know that. So then, I mean, they're ultimately they're fine for now, although we can see that Robin is going to move away from Giselle. But then we go to Karen's house where Raven is back from college. And when I had Raven, I gave the world a gift. And I gave it a gift with a fax cover sheet. A young woman who knows how to work a Morse code machine gift

to the world if we ever lose electricity. When Raven came home, I knew that all my messages to her people were not in vain. So she can even tangle phone calls with the best of them. So Raven comes home and she's just like talking about college and she's like, I'm doing a 48 hour like a plant. I'll be something blah, blah, blah, blah. She's talking about it. And I don't, I wasn't really retaining much of it except for the part where she's like,

yeah. And at one point, like, I had to eat a cheesesteak and Karen goes, my baby, I had to eat a cheesesteak. She's like, ooh, ooh. I hope it was an organic cheese stick. Like you're eating shit that's from the public. You're eating like pre-made PETA sandwiches from publics. Like, who the fuck do you think you're kidding, lady? We saw your unwrap the plastic

off of these. Also, like, I mean, I know Potomac is not Philly, but you're really close. It's not the wildest thing in the world to consume a cheese steak in that part of the world. I imagine. You know, so funny. As soon as I mentioned that, my friend from Philly is calling right now and she loves the cheese steaks and Philly. Well, there you go. She must be a Creighton, a poor, classes Creighton.

So Robin goes most creepness of the ball. Robin takes her kids to the dentist and she's like, yeah, hi, dentist. Oh, my, the dentist totally blows her cover. She's like, welcome back. It's been two years. Thanks a lot, dentist, like she's only bringing them because she's putting you

a scene that she's getting her kids a free cleaning from. Could you please like be a little bit more subtle? I know. So that I'm nothing really happening. I was like, the kids don't listen to me. They listen to one, but they don't listen to me anymore. Maybe it's because when the kids are acting like banshee's, you're like, oh, stop, stop, stop. Mike Robbins, you got to step it up a little bit. Don't hit that stuffed animal. Would you want anyone doing that to your teeth? Maybe it's because you make no sense. Stuffed animals don't even have teeth. I think that one probably did because there's an dentist office though. Probably was like a special dental care stuffed animal. So then we go to Alabama where

Monique and Chris are driving around around their family and Chris is just like It's good to be back in the dirty soul soul It's good to be driving around in a car with you, baby And she's like well when I was in the car rental place. I saw your picture on the pamphlet and I said that's my baby You are the asshole and the hurts being like I know that person on the pamphlet. And I said, that's my baby. You are the asshole in the hurts being like, I know that person on the pamphlet. I like the way he laughs. It's literally like the jolly green

john, he's like, and he's so over her. So basically, she lets us know that she hates his mother openly. He tries to stick up for the mother. So it's like every son's nightmare, you know, the women fighting and he has to always pretend, you know, to be okay with it or whatever, be the calm one. So he looks miserable already.

And he's going to be inducted into the football hall of fame. Like he should be so psyched and he's like, get me out of this car, babe. And she, she has this whole thing where she's like, Chris, this, Chris comes first. There's God and Chris and the kids, which is a little weird, but she keeps saying it over and over again. She's like, I put you before everyone. I put before my mother, my sister, my sister, my sister, I put you before everyone. I'm like, okay, she is basically saying, don't cheat on me. Putting you first, don't leave me, don't leave me,

don't leave me, I want another house, don't leave me, don't leave me. Yeah, and I'm putting you first in a fight with your mom, so you better put me first in a fight with your mom. And that's you. Yeah, which is not gonna happen. You know, the one who always says, I put you first baby is the asshole in the relationship

who's causing trouble with everybody else. Exactly. And you have to stand up for you with my mother. It's my mother. Like you're going to yell at a mom, Jesus. Exactly. And he's like, well, when I married you, I married your whole family. That's not true.

I didn't marry you for your whole family. I don't know. Like you realize your husband's being so thoughtful right now and so accommodating in just that simple way. Like, Manique chill. Yeah. And he goes, you're taking me literally. I'm sure that she doesn't think that you literally mean she's married to your mother. But she might have. And she's like, I'm a really literal person. Yeah, I'm from Jersey. We're very literal. Really?

We literally wear jerseys every single day. And they're always brand new. every single day. And they're always brand new. Which is a matter of Jersey mics is actually owned by a guy named Jersey Mike from Jersey. Like, that's how literal we are. Okay. We only eat subway when we take the path train to New York. And even then we must get on a subway immediately. When the Jersey turnpike was built without you turns, and you couldn't turn into pike, the whole state had a protest okay we're very literal here well that's what we have a city called Atlantic City it's on the Atlantic so

meanwhile the other girls are going to the saddest horse race I've ever seen Robin's trying to make us believe that it's very important. She's like, yeah, the preekness horse, the preekness horse festival. I have one of their beer mugs. This is famous. This is a big one. Wait a second. I'm going to defend a preekness.

It's a big one. Okay. Okay. So let me let me rephrase that to be more literal. Robyn is pretending that they're a big fucking deal at the preekness horse festival Yes, thank you and they keep talking about tents and they're like we need to move to a better tent I'm like you're not in a tent you're in you're on the patio and then they're like let's move to a better tent And then they move to other patio furniture further up. I'm like did you bitches did one of you buy a ticket even one of you?

Yeah, no, none of them did. Yeah, so they're there. And first it's just Ashley and Rob and Rob. And it's like, so what's going on with you and one? And then that's when you know, Rob's like, I wonder people always ask me one, one, one, like because you guys have a crazy living relationship. And I know it's your own business, but you're also on a reality show so. And also bringing it up all the time. I mean that's why people are always asking you what the hell. Also that's

what girls talk about. Men you know like what's your relationship blah blah and also Ashley's just trying to be a good friend and be like, you need to move on, girl, you need to be more, yeah, do what you want. If he wants you to serve Kingaroo, you say, okay, but I'll see you later. Yeah, yeah. You know, by the way, so you know, it's funny. The other day I was having lunch with Michelle. By the way, we have a live show coming up on May 9th at the Improv in Los Angeles with special guest,

Michelle Collins, everyone, everyone. We'll have more details on the tickets as soon as we know, but mark it on your calendars. Do it now. I don't care how you get there just get there. So Michelle Michelle is a big devotee of real sports with rank humble. And apparently there was a whole thing about Juan and how he was like an orphan, but then there was a guy in the middle of the country who was watching him play basketball. And it's like, that looks exactly like me and the guy sort of deduced that he was Juan's father and there was like this whole string of crazy, you know, crazy, kismet events and they somehow

were reunited. But apparently it's really cool story. So go look at that up. Someone can post that on a wall if they want. They want to find out. I'll post it. I'll post it on the wall. Does anyone who feels like doing research, please feel free on my half big story.

Anyway, speaking of half big, just Ellen Karen. It's like, you need to tell Juan to shit or get off the pot. Why is everybody asking about one shitting? God, Robin, get something to talk about. Also speaking of while we're speaking of Facebook, someone posted on Facebook today, this hilarious thing starring Robin, it's an ad for a real estate workshop. It's like, do you wanna make money working for yourself?

Be your own boss, take this, real estate. It's like, why would you hire the lady who just had to move 45 minutes away from set Because she's so broke you want to be independently wealthy Robin can't tell you but she will be at the seminar so bring a pen and paper Maybe she'll write down what's happening with one The only reason why I got involved with real estate is I thought they were gonna make me the real estate e-networks Oh my god me too girl cuz I'm from Jersey. We're literal.

I should never have listened to that Jersey girl. So, yeah, so Giselle and Count arrived and they're asking Ashley how her restaurant is. And one thing I really respect about Ashley is that she's been totally forthcoming about how shitty her restaurant is. You know, some other house I should say, you know, it's not doing so well, but it's on the up and up. Things are going to turn around. She's like, yeah, no, we got no, no customers. So, Juzela and Karen are like, no one's fucking me either. It's sad. So, and then Karen has, Juzela says something about negative penises, but either way, they're, the women are now going to gather together and they're're gonna save the restaurant, which is nice, it's tough.

And then- She did say something about negative penises. You can't gloss over that. What was it? She basically was like, she's getting, the rest was not doing well, so she's not gonna have any penis. And I don't want any negative penis. Negative penis is bad.

I don't know if it's like they're losing money, so that must mean negative penis. I got it. That penis is in the red. Um, so, um, so then basically just I was like, great. I'm glad we talked about that because now, now that I've got Ashley on my side again, let's go off on Monique. She's like, how'd you guys feel about the fact that Monique came in and said, I've got five houses and like, well, I don't know if she said that, but

they hold on like Monique, by the way. Karen's like, well, she could rap. Yeah, she can spin a good rap. And she's all says, did you like how she just came in and said, hi, my name is Monique and I'm rich. Hi, I'm Monique and I have five houses. They're like, Ashley's like, oh, I'm not sure she really said it that way. But Monique is kind of a dick. So we cut to her and they're at the awards place and he has like a big column with that's poster wrapped with his image. I was like, they're really low budget this place. This is like a kinkos job job in the Hall of Fame. So that's a lot of these bigger than the column, by the way. I just want to point that out.

The column's like, God, that guy has huge underwear. So this is surely around the mom. She seems so sweet at first. She's like, oh, I know, I don't care. You look so beautiful. And then she tells one of the kids, oh, so good to see you. I haven't seen you since you were little. And she's like, that is so obnoxious. We have seen her every holiday. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, that kid was like only three. So the last holiday, the kid was little and still is little. And Monique, such an asshole, she could mean leap year, you know. Yeah. She's like, we go every leap year every four years, you can see

your bitch of a grandmother. Yeah, but to be fair, Monique is sitting there talking to the mom about like how she got earrings for the baby and she's like, you know, no, no, you get like baby earrings, but I just got like regular size one that had them shaved down or whatever. She's like, you know, me, I like to be a little extra

and the mom's just looking at her like, this is the hoe that my son married. My son, Hall of Famer married this bitch. Yeah, she probably start wrapping at two time again, isn't she? Oh, she already did great. She's like, I watched my wig for this bitch. Yeah. So let me go back to her. The horse races. Yeah. Everybody welcome the special gift. The re-sharp. Then when my champagne is kind of my thing champagne. I was got a hoverboard in here like be out there with you, but it's all graph from a hoverboard broke. They want me to wrap the national national anthem, but Shasha needs a rest. She says, I thought I

have laid, but I went to the wrong tent. It's like, this isn't a tent. This is Adi O'Ferniture. That Bravo part. I drove up in a U-Haul truck. Like, this is the cheapest show ever. It's like, I went to the Rod Patti O'Ferniture. So, I just... Maybe she put the check in tent.

So, they go to yet a new place to sit. And Jizelle waits for her to get there know to announce her new friend named Kevin and she announced as well I'm not having sex with him and I won't on the first second or even third date. Wow that's your virginal you're a regular virgin Mary over there. Wait until four. So then we have like a little scene where there's this guy who knows a lot about horses and betting and he's like He's like, hey, I can I'm good at this stuff or whatever. I know this stuff and the ass. He's like what are ads? The only odds I heard one three and five and you're like, okay, yay women and then And then the like horses run and Robbins learn oh

Go and then they win money. was like you know like a So my name didn't share of course, but what was my favorite part was that none of them spent their own money This rich guy just came and spent all this money on their tickets this fucking show. It's like you guys Hello ladies. You're sitting on patio furniture to you know, long full of tents. Shall I buy you some tickets? It's like I love rich guy charity. Yeah, so then um, just always like now shreece Am I out of probation with shreece? Am I out of probation? I'm with you. I'm out of I'm good now and shreece is like wow Sure, I'm like okay. I don't like to live with negativity I would hate to open up my champagne room and not have ever go there.

I can guarantee your negativity looks a lot better than your champagne room. Well, just stick with negativity. It's at least charming. Yeah. So then Robin goes get her hair washed or shampooed. And it's like one keeps calling because he doesn't know how to use the grill. He's like, Juan, and then this hairstyle has just given her opinions about Juan.

And, you know, it's like- I kind of feel bad for her, but then when she says things like it's his first time using the grill, I can't, I don't think that's charming. I think that's really pathetic. I mean, even I know you put seasoning in a burger before you cook it. Like, come on, man. And she's like, isn't that cute? And then when she says, but I've known him since I was 16, that just makes me feel so sad inside.

Like, you've been putting up with this shit for that long and you really want things to change because she actually tells the hairdresser, I really want him to change and just be different. Like, girl, how old are you going to get before you realize people do not change? Like the only thing that's going to change is the version of PlayStation that he makes you buy for his ass. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's interesting because we got a little bit of insight because she said that essentially she took on the role of being the mother, which probably says a lot more about her than it does about him.

And as she says, if it's, if they're going to be together again, she wants to be like, excuse me, I'm a little Starbucks burp. Oh, and by the way, I'm sorry for last week when I was chewing my job at Chipmokachino, whatever it was. I know that was annoying for people. And I didn't realize it was good to hear it so much. And someone posted on the Facebook group or whatever saying like, Ben, please stop chewing your coffee. And then everyone like attacked the girl. I'm like, Ben, please stop chewing your coffee. And then everyone like attacked the girl.

I'm like, no, no, she's right. She's right. That's one of those things you don't ever hear it if it's you doing it. Well, I was trying to actually sit back from the microphone or I try to do it at like times, but apparently you can still really hear it. And it's really annoying.

So I apologize. I went on a mall's podcast emotionally broken psychos the other day and I popped popcorn because on that one she does it on FaceTime. So we're just yapping on the phone and I'm walking around my house and she said what the fuck is going on over there? Like are you beating somebody up and I was like oh I didn't know popcorn was so loud. It's popcorn. Yeah. So either way, getting back to it with Robin, you know, if she says that she'll get back with one, but like they have to be more like partners and not like mother, son. And I'm like, you know, that that's the problem is that if you

have a, if you have an issue where you're treating him like your son, and he's also kind of like been the love of your life since your 16, like you, there's like a mothering issue there that you need to get resolved. It's not that he has to change. You need to really fix that Robin. And I'm rooting for them because he's hot. And I like, actually like Robin the most. So.

And when she says things like, if I go back to him, you're living with him. You are back with him. Yes. What the fuck are you talking about? Get some self-respect or anything? Oh my god. I can't, I can't feel for her.

I just can't. Although I will say I do like her a lot Yeah, I did last year, but I can't feel bad for her, you know, good life. So sure Then oh no, yeah, oh there was a scene there was a scene with Asha Michael going indoor skydiving He's like oh yeah, nice bowl. Oh my god. And it's like more talk like I guess it being hot on you She's like yeah, like maybe more sex. I don't know. Maybe we like to go. We can't we climb out Kilimanjaro indoor sky diving. Yadayada Shrees. This is all about our relationship going indoor sky diving.

I sometimes I need to remind him how hard I can blow. So Shrees, champagne room, who cares? Monique. Well, there was, I just want to say that there was a tube TV in that study. I don't know if you saw, but there was totally a tube TV. And she had a stupid sign up that said, save water during champagne. I'm like, I mean, this is, she's just like trying to live out the TJ Max lifestyle now. Like when are the champagne foods going to come that have like sassy feathers on them? You know, be dazzled champagne glasses. Oh, and by the

way, this is going to cost $90,000. Yeah, exactly $90,000 that she's not going to recruit by selling this house. I guarantee this is not going to add value to the house. And she says, it may not be working right now, but money's not an issue. We've invested well. I was like, he didn't because you're just like a leaky hole in a boat lady. And then she says, she's like, give me that hammer like she's on the first scene of property, brothers. She's like, I'm going to demo that wall. So she takes it and starts hammering the cabinets off. And she goes, oh my life, I've had the fight. It's like, oh Jesus. You're pulling a color purple Sophia right now, really? And bitch put put on safety goggles. You told hop on a beat me.

No, that's squeak. Sorry. You told hop over a big me. So then the final big scene of the episode, this is like the big moment when Monique's whole family with Chris and his mom and the brothers and everyone, the god parent, everyone is going to dinner at like a Thai English restaurant. And, um, and I, I do what I think was so funny is that Manique just keeps on going on and on about how difficult her mother-in-law is.

And I'm like, she's more or less fine. I think she's just reacting to you. Like, she's not, she's not, we've seen terrible mothers in laws. We've seen Vita. We've seen mama Joyce. Well, we have to give her time because remember how long Mama Joyce took to warm up. I mean, Mama Joyce seemed like the best thing ever. She would come in and be like, hello, honey. Oh, you're so adorable.

And then, but you know it. She's just like calling people's moms horrors and but I don't, I just didn't see, I just didn't see the mother doing provoking a lot of the bad the bad stuff. I saw Monique saying stuff out of her ass and the mother just being like yeah so far we've seen some dirty licks coming from her but yeah you're right it's all reactions to Monique's stupid. And I'm not I'm not ruling it out. I'm not ruling it out, like you said. Sometimes these old ladies have to get a running start. But I think that Monique was just acting like an asshole. She really was. Well, first the mom starts by calling.

Hi, me. I forgot my wallet at home with my money in it. Which was, that was, that was kind of shady. That was hilarious. And Chris is like, Oh, mother, don't be silly. We got this meal. The golden goose laid extra eggs this month, mother. We shall buy the dinner. Like when was the last time you went to dinner and had to pay like with this guy? That whole family is there. 15 people aren't

going to be out to lunch unless they know someone's paying, you know, there's got to be at least five broke people in that group. To be fair, the mother's like, when you were a teenager, you had 10 dinners a day. So I'm not paying for any more food for you. No kidding. I used to have to buy entire farms to feed you as a child. So you can buy me some french fries. But also it's good planning on her side because you never know when the wait to see if anybody else pulls out money and she's like, how much can I order right now? Are you paying for this or am I paying for this? If I'm ordering this, I'm ordering iced tea and a side of mac and cheese. If you're ordering, I'm getting three courses in wine. So which is... Well, what I like is the mom goes, she's like, I'm hungry.

Well, that's order some food. And then they cut to Monique saying, she is so difficult. She always makes things hard. I'm like, she's hungry. First of all, we all make things difficult and we're hungry. But second of all, she didn't say anything that was crazy. That's a common thing you might hear at a restaurant is let's order some food. Oh, she goes, uh, Monique starts on, uh, telling the family, which is the

most obnoxious thing, you know, when you're the rich ones in the family and she's going off saying, well, we're going to get another house because our 9,000 square foot house just isn't big enough for our kids. To be fair, she're kids. To be fair, she's been literally big enough. I mean, she's very literal like that. The rooms are too small for the kids to fit inside them because they're all Chris's children. The giants. And the mom is sitting next to one of the uncles or something

and she keeps whispering shady sit to him, which is hilarious. She's like, she better remember who's paying for those babies. And they're asking, that could be it, the kids are so big. And Shirley says, well, you don't have them as big as mine. Mine were 10 pounds, 13 pounds and 19 pounds of whatever they were. And she goes, well, I don't want them to be as big as your babies. Those are giant babies.

I mean, I had no pain with mine. And then Shirley goes, you know, you want to get a job. Get a job. And then for some reason, Monique starts talking about the, she starts talking about the issues they have in their marriage in a weird way. She says, well, you know, we fight. Like, there'll be times when like, I'll look at him

and I won't want to see him. And he'll look at me and he won't want to see me. And we just fight. You know, and that's what fighting, we just fight sometimes, but then we make up and the mom is like, oh, look at him. And I won't want to see him. And he'll look at me and he won't want to see me. And we just fight. You know, and that's what fighting, we just fight sometimes. But then we make up. And the mom is like, well, the mom's like, I ain't never, we didn't have fights when I was married, whatever. But like, and what do you do?

Like, oh, my God, she said this too. This is part of that. I just don't want to skip it. She goes, well, the husband's like, yeah, we work on it, though, we go to church, which every pastor loves to hear about. I'm sure, but she says, yeah. And our pastor said the only gift you get in marriage is sex. And it's good sex.

Oh, it is so good. See this smile on my face. Now that's called a getting plenty sex smile. I'm like, oh my God, to the mother and the kids and the entire family. What is wrong with you? I know. Like I can't believe first of all,

she talks about bickering or fighting with her son to the mom because, I know, I just want to do that. I wouldn't talk about fights too. I, in general, I wouldn't talk about fighting in front of most mixed company, I guess, unless it was like part of the conversation was about fighting the place. If someone, you know, if someone opened,

it was talking about it and then like it was a way to empathize whatever, but as sort of general chatter with an in law, like you don't do that, especially because it makes you look like an asshole, right? Because you know the parents, the first thing the parents gonna think, which is what this mother said was, is basically like, you know, my son should have married

someone that wouldn't fight with him, like where they don't have to fight. And that's based on the mother said, and the mom said said after this thing the only gift you get marriage of sex, mom's like, I have a sex in 15 20 years I'm still standing. Yeah, I get it for 20 years. Yeah, complaining and then she says, well, uh, wait, oh, she's telling the next door, you know, her next door uncle or whatever. She's like, they don't ever ask me for advice that go to a pastor and I got good advice. Yeah. Well, no, because Moni's saying how she talks to us, she's like, well, what we do is we

get advice from this person and that person, this friend and that friend and space to talk about all the people she gets advice from and the mom's like, she doesn't ask, she actually doesn't ask me about advice. And I get the best advice. And then as well, we believe in raising our children with good examples. And then that's when Shirley starts. No, because she says we grew up in homes that weren't the best examples. Oh, no, idiot. And Shirley goes, I didn't get potting Chris grew up in a good example. Yeah. And then

the mom, then, you know, Shirley gives like a lecture about marriage about marriage what you got to do et cetera, et cetera, et cetera I'm gonna say mm-hmm. Well, I guess we just have different definitions of marriage. I'm like bitch leave Leave this state and go back to go back to Potomac and this mom does hate her because what she said She's like we when I was married thick and thin you could never break up. I Never argued or complained about him You could be have money and and be in good health, but if you're broke you have to still stay that's a good marriage and Monique's like Well, I guess that means something different for us

Their mom's calling her out on being a shady hoe out for money and Monique's not even arguing with her. She's like, yep, we have different definitions of marriage. And then as they all leave the well, well, Chris does this. Chris does something that he probably has had to do for the past, you know, 10 years. He'll just be like, well, I'm sorry at we have to go boy mother. But then as they're all leaving the mom's like, Jack, please, Jack, please. The mom says to one of her other sons, is I, did I get the half a straight? Yeah, I'm enjoying Monique on this show. I think she's a good shallow addition. But man, I can't wait to see Shirley rip her a new one. Yeah, it will be, yeah, it's good. You know, you know, me, I really like the show mix, so I'm happy with it. Yeah, it's been fun. Everybody, this is the end of this episode. It's been a long one. Yeah, I think we'll be fun. Yeah, super fun. Double maps. Nice long episode for this was a great fun for us, and we will be back tomorrow with Vanderpump Rules.

Yeah, Vanderpump Rules reunion part 44. So it should be exciting, and we can't wait to dive into that. We'll talk to you all tomorrow. Go check out all our social media. And have a great night everyone. Bye. Bye! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus

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