Watch What Crappens - #443 RHONY: Dorinda Goes Bananas (and Cucumbers)
Episode Date: April 28, 2017Dorinda hasn't yelled yet on this season of Real Housewives of New York; so this week she let it all out, screaming strange metaphors about EZ Passes and turnstiles at Sonja. It was great. ...We break down every second of the fight - from the bag of bananas and cucumbers to LuAnn's duck parade. What a special day for America. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few.
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Today's episode is sponsored by our premium Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J
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that's patreon dot com slash watch what crap ends.
Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just
love to watch on Bravo.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BSIBlog.com and the Bantra Blender podcast and joining me as usual
is the wonderful and hilarious man of a thousand voices.
It's Ronnie here from trash talk TV dot com
my god
I'm a badger podcast what you what is this the gold coast it's a man of a million
I've got five voices we all know it you don't have to flatter me
I'm being hi you know what I have to say Ronnie I am so happy today
I'm so happy right now and let me tell you why let Let me walk you back to the past 24 hours of my life.
Do it.
24 hours ago, I submitted, I finished my second draft of the pilot that I'm writing. So, you know, whenever you get something off your off off their plate like that, you're like, yes, yes, yes, yes. So that was nice.
Nice, congrats. Yes, yes, yes. So that was nice. Congrats. Thank you. And then to celebrate, I got together with some friends to play a board game.
Um, we started playing at 7 p.m. and the game did not finish until 3 a.m.
Oh my God.
Your version of nightmare, my version of the best night ever.
Oh my God.
The game was called for Ben stars.
I highly recommend it.
Um, but really, the thing that made me really happy was after all that, waking up this morning,
knowing that I could watch Real House with a New York City, and if that weren't enough,
I got happy because I read in variety that Bravo has renewed a lot of shows including
Summer House
Some of us are back for season two summer house is back and real house was a dialis even made the cut
They got an official pick up
Before it got a pick up for season three
It's picked up for season two officially. Oh
Well nice Bravo since they've
already been filming. Right, but it was, you know, you know, some huge, cheeky little
vast. You're the show secret. I like that they keep everything embargoed like it's this
huge national secret. Yeah, we can't let them know that real as well as of Dallas to the
very last second. Yeah. Um, this is these, this is the official list of shows that were announced today as being renewed.
Previously, Impostors and Audemom out, as well as Top Chef and Million Dollar Listing
New York had already been confirmed.
And now Orange County, Shazza Sunset, Real Househouse in New Jersey, flipping out, don't be tardy.
I'm a little surprised.
Marriage, medicine medicine below deck
Million dollar listing Los Angeles real house has of Atlanta real house is at Beverly Hills real house
House of Dallas inside the actor studio summer house and Vanderpump rules
Nice no word up. Wow. They're doing pretty. They're doing pretty good with their
They're non housewives shows, eh?
Yeah, I think the, I mean, Potomac has not been renewed just because they just started
their second season.
And I have to say, yeah, they're doing very well.
And they did, they obviously did not mention Southern Charm because that's currently air
airing.
It looks like marriage medicine, Houston, did not make the cut.
But were there any other non-housewives shows that we really liked that didn't make the cut. But were there any other non-house I've shows
that we really liked that didn't make the cut?
I'm trying to think.
Well, my brain doesn't work like that.
I feel like Summer House was our,
every year there's one that we just love
and it just never makes it.
I think Summer House was ours this year, but it made it.
Yeah, Stephen from Summer House just sent us an Instagram and said, I guess
you didn't curse us.
Yay.
Oh, whenever we like a season,
show a lot in the first
season, it's out of here.
It's the curse of crap.
And yes, now it's the power
of crap.
And so come on, gallery
girls.
Listen up, gallery girls
and princesses of Long
Island, as you chance to
try and get picked up.
Yeah, it's later.
Never too late for a reboot. and princesses of Long Island. As a chance to try and get picked up. Yeah, it's later.
Never too late for a reboot.
So before we get into talking about real house
size of New York City today, it's really important
that we mention that we have our live show on May 9th
at the Hollywood Improv 10 p.m.
Special guest, Michelle Collins, one of the funniest
women alive, one of the funniest people alive. One of the funniest people alive.
You guys, the ticket link is live now, speaking of live.
It is, if just go to our Facebook page,
facebook.com, for us, watch our crap.
And go to the Hollywood improv website,
you know how to Google things, buy tickets,
because when you people to buy tickets,
otherwise, we'll look like Jack guesses.
Yeah, I'm really excited to do that. Because when you people to buy tickets otherwise will look like Jack asses
Yeah, I'm really excited to do that. It's been a while since we've gone out there into the world
Yeah, I think the last time we did a live show was about six months ago at the pod fest with malls. So
Excited to to get back in the mix to have to mix it up with Michelle especially but also to see the listeners
We always have a fun time. There's like a special energy when we do our live shows that really just cannot be replicated.
So I really hope people are able to make it. And unlike our past live shows, this one's actually at like
like major league time. It's like a 10 p.m. show as opposed to like a 6 p.m. show. So that's nice.
Yeah, it's nice. But it might be hard for people to like come down and drive. So just
take the next day off of work and be prepared to play. Okay. Yeah. Do that. It's gonna
be fun. We'll make it worth your while. We're gonna, you know, offer oral sex
afterwards. And well, I've got two broken teeth, so that might not be the best thing to ask
me for. I would like to offer to stab anyone in the audience's penis. Just please come
by the show. This is what we're willing to do to get people to get in those seats.
But for real guys, come see us. It'll be super fun.
May 9th.
Yeah, that's going to be fun.
Now, let's get into this show because there
is so much in today's Real Housewives of New York.
Yeah, I actually possibly make a classic crap in three-hour
episode out of this.
We really get pages.
I actually have a question for you, Ronnie.
I have a really serious question about this episode for you.
OK? I actually have a question for you Ronnie. I have a really serious question about this episode for you, okay
Fucking Ramona
this episode, you know I
Had run into a friend of mine at the Bagel Broker over the weekend and we know we always
talk Bravo.
And one of your financial district friends.
Financial district.
Can we get a bagel at someplace named monetarily please?
I took me like a second to pick up on that.
My own my.
The broca.
The Bagel hedge fund.
My competition bagel shop.
The Bagel brokerage. I honestly would trust them with my money, but so she was like, yeah,
you know, like, I'm a little poor with New York so far, but I like it. Here's the thing.
You can never, New York will never never be boring because as this week's episode
showed us they just have to uncork themselves and they're already leagues ahead of every other
housewives. They're so fucking crazy. And the first, I'm sorry, I'm adjusting shit on
my desk. Please do. The first couple of weeks, yeah, I think people were a little scared
because it looked like they were just trying to fight, you know, they of weeks, yeah, I think people were a little scared because
it looked like they were just trying to fight, you know, to like, well, here's why I'm
mad and I'll be mad about this thing from last year and it was just stupid. But that said,
that's kind of what they did today, but they're so nuts and they really commit to these fights.
I mean, you got to have to do Dorenda. That woman really will commit.
Like, she doesn't just come in and do an act. She doesn't entire show.
Yeah, she really does. And, you know, the thing is, these women have so much personality.
Just like oozing with personality. They're so over the top that even if they were talking about getting a bagel out of the bagel broker,
it would be massively entertaining. You could do a whole hour show of Ram of Ramona and Durinda and Sonia trying to pick out their bagels
What a poppy scene. I'm okay fine. You know, I learned that I'm not gonna ask the universe for everything
Because it sounds like it's gonna taste good
But at the end of the day that's face it's just a bunch of powdery onion flavors all over your tongue
Who needs that on single ready and ready-to-mingle, Beggle?
I don't understand why there's salt on the Beggle.
I mean, when I was in San Trope, we just had regular Beggles.
Why do you have to put salt on that?
It just seems like it's high in sodium.
I just understand these Beggles these days, but you know, I was on an off-broadway in the
salt chronicles.
And like, I get it, I get it.
I just don't understand why everyone's getting bagels but me
Yeah, put some Shmere Jad's bagel, alright?
He's out of diet. Put some salmon on that Shmere, alright?
Let's work it out, Jad. You lost a lot of weight, Jad.
How about you put an easy pass on your whole bagel on the Holland tunnel that we call your hole, okay?
How about you do that bagel and get out of here?
tunnel that we call your hole okay how about you do that bagel and get out of here everybody flappy beat this is a drive the big day with you that slappy whoo bagel
I mean Charlie Rose love my smear so I don't know what you're talking about
Charlie Rose oh Sonia how far we fall how far
so I'm going to Charlie Rose also I'd like to open this recap with a special shout out to Ramona Singer
for being one of the only housewives on the planet
who will admit her own age.
I can't believe she's having a 60th birthday party.
Lisa Vanderpump is still trying to convince us, she's 55.
She's like darling!
I'm 48.
Part of me wonders if Ramona was not gonna say it was 60 but they just decided to go out and out her anyway
Maybe Ramona is just the only one who hasn't learned how to edit her Wikipedia page who knows yeah
Also congratulations to Ramona for going on to Facebook live and
Talking to the masses. Did you watch any of that? No, I didn't know that was happening
Oh my god. It's just imagine Ramona
talking to a webcam. Okay, and that's all you need to know. It was so quintessentially Ramona.
She, at one point, I only watched like the first two minutes because I had to go, but she
was like, you know, Avery, Avery's my daughter, but now she's my best friend and now her friends
are like my friends
We're all friends together. We all have in the best friends club
We have a pair of pants. We just smell it over and over and over again with FedEx
Federal Express, okay
And with the day with the way that things work today
You're not only mailing it to the sisterhood. There's like sisterhoods in the brotherhood
I mean, I've learned so many different kinds
of people in college.
This pixies, this transactional.
Ha ha ha.
Hey, like, remote on college campus,
like learning what trans is.
Please let me be there.
I don't understand how I'm supposed to mail these pants.
Am I supposed to use ups?
What is ups?
Is it why you use ups or downs?
I don't understand these delivery systems. What about DHL? Isn't that like a- Isn't that what you do to watch hockey? I don't
understand these things. Oh look at that. I tried to draw my screen with my finger.
I mean, Ramona doing that on Snapchat never fails to crack me up and she still does it. She'll
go on Snapchat and be like, oh my god, look at that window. And then she starts putting her finger all over and it's
drawing all these little checks everywhere. And she doesn't even, she doesn't even know.
I think she just thinks it's all faded out, you know, it's probably her phone or something.
I can imagine her going into like Verizon and yelling because there's little green marks all over her
snapchat. I'm sorry, there's something wrong with this phone.
Excuse me, look, look, I've got a snap with a little tongue.
I don't get it, I'm not a dog,
so why don't I want to look at a phone that makes me look a dog, okay?
Okay.
So we open with Ramona's 60th kind of birthday party
in Berkshire's, and we know it's going to be a fun one
because it's clown music that opens
the episode which is rare. Yeah. But it's like, Zyla-fone clown music. And I was like, oh, they're
making an effort today. The difference is that it runs away from this party so I'm trying to terrorize
them. And but yet I'm in the car. And what is clown is? Was the name Tinkles or something?
And by yet I'm in the car. What is clannies?
What's the name, Tinkels or something?
I don't know, but I think he was played by Tim Curry in the old mini series.
Either way, Tim Curry is there in the drain and Ramona comes up with a boat.
He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, my bad, my bad.
I'll let you go.
I will take my giant spider, Madame.
Here's your boat.
Go back to the Hampton.
Here's a little boat. I'll see you later. Have fun your dinner party
Oh, no, they're not in the Berkshire's they're in the Hampton. Yeah, Hampton's sorry everybody
Everybody's mortified and I suggested Ramona lived in the Berkshire's okay
So it opens up and by the way Ronnie. I don't know about you
I took a note on every single thing because every single detail cracked me up, including, I think the first line where Ramona goes.
So basically, I'm doing a self-serving bar, okay?
It's called okay.
Sitting, a self-serving bar.
If you wanna get something,
if you wanna drink something, get something, okay?
You can either have Ramona Pina Grisio,
Ramona Pina Grisio, a Pino Grisio, made by Ramona,
okay?
I always told myself, you have to mirror, and after my father, I didn't want to be responsible
to getting another man's drink, okay?
So you have to get it yourself.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I get my own drink now and so should you.
Trying to explain to that Mexican lady in the uniform, how to put ice in a bucket,
took me literally like 45 minutes.
Okay.
Whoa, this is crazy.
I remember when I was a little girl, I went to a party and I was like, can I have some
more soda?
And Jody parsimists said, if you want more soda, get yourself, you stupid lazy bitch.
And I said, fine, that's what I'll do.
But I couldn't find the bar and I wound to be crying the whole rest of the day.
And to this day, I can never ask for soda on my own.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It's day class A.
So Sonia and Tinsley are arriving outside and Sonia brings her a present and Ramona
gives her this long ass.
Oh, hi.
Just like really long hug.
Like she's not totally walking into the lion's den.
No warning.
She's like, so yeah.
Like intensely she hugs tensely a little too hard.
And Sonia's like, I brought a present.
It's, you know, what's your friend that candle lady?
Sonia, you're staying in someone else's house.
And then you're probably taking candles off their damn mantel to bring to Ramona Ramona's. But you know it is Ramona. She'll forget in five
minutes anyways. And it's kind of funny because Tinsley later on tells
tell Sonya that she gave her a candle for a birthday. So clearly this is just
Tinsley's regifted candle. Past from guest to guest. Yes, passing the flame.
Little next up. Next up, Tinsley meets Durinda.
And she's scared because she doesn't
want to piss off Sony or whatever.
So she's trying to be really nice with Durinda.
And Durinda's just ready to pounce at this point.
She's been working herself up.
Lord knows what she snorted before in this,
because I mean, she's just crazy at this point.
So Tinsley's like, I've heard a lot about you miss. I like
that she's always like talking like a little girl. Well, she's a Mortimer or former Mortimer.
She learned her, she learned her manners. She's like a baby Jane with like better aerobic
takes in her basement. She's just waiting for the moment to announce her signature look, the curl, the curl,
tensley Mortimer, bringing the curler to America.
They even named a Winter Olympic sport after me.
It's called curling, sort of my thing.
They were on the Mayflower, but the Indians didn't know what they were, so they just stayed
in a box.
Glad that as a founding member of America, I can bring this to the masses.
So yeah, so Tindy and Durinder are talking Durinder is just barely continuing her rage and she's saying weird shit. Like she's like, well, you know, Sonia, you know, she you don't get to stay at
Lady Morgan's house for free.
So even if Tinsley isn't paying with Benjamin's,
she's paying in other ways, if you know what I'm saying,
I'm like, actually, I really don't.
Are they trading sexual favors?
Is that what you're saying?
Is it like drugs?
I like, I literally don't understand.
You should.
I'm assuming she means because Sonia's needy
and will make you listen to her
and hang out with her all the time.
Oh, maybe so.
But, you know, she also does no sonia and she's probably saying, you could go live
as low as you can die for bold, you're paid with your life.
Cheap on the red.
So cold water.
So they're talking, Durin just giving some sort of like some past aggressive little barbs here
there. Tinda is talking about her arrest again and Durrinda's like, ah, you know, right?
There's no one here who hasn't messed up and they like cut to Ramona and they cut to
Luan, you know. Well, this whole thing that Tinda
Tinda does is like, oh, well, it's nice to meet you. I mean, better than it would be if I met
you in jail. That was terrible. That was terrible.
Girls in the new black, am I right?
And when she first said when she was arrested,
Dorinda was looking at her like,
oh, I, like she was giving her this really judgey look.
But then once Tinsley started doing her whole tap dance
and just admitted it, Dorinda was totally cool about it.
Yeah.
And it goes to show you, that's really a good move
on Tinsley's part, that thing she does.
Everybody, it takes everybody, it takes all their ammo away on Tinsley's part that thing she does it puts everybody
It takes everybody it takes all their ammo away and they're like oh, she's nice
Well, it's all making me a crazy bitch. It also helped that she sort of quietly was saying hey
I'm new and I have to live with Sonia, but like I'm not totally into Sonia
I'm like don't worry. I'm not like her her her tacked dog like I'm cool
You know they like that
Um yeah, so I like that in the middle of this they cut through Mona walking by her guests and she goes
What would you like to drink?
Smart and then this guy goes oh just some wine. She was okay. Help yourself. I think why did you ask him?
Did you notice that?
Self-suffer
Self-suffer
Would you like some drink?
Okay, help yourself.
Go get it.
Okay, stay in that side.
Where's your dream vacation?
Miami.
Okay, the get on the phone and call a travel agent.
And they'll send you there.
I feel like the worst junior of all time.
Okay, three wishes. What do you want?
I guess I'd like a lot of money. Okay, so
Why don't you get a job? All right, and then we can talk
No, but you're the genius. Oh, oh, oh, okay
What would you like little girl for Christmas? Adal? Well, you need to get a job. Good luck with that. Why? Okay?
Oh, oh, okay. What would you like for Christmas little boy um I think I'd like a toy truck okay well
guess what I've got a toy truck for you it's in a it's in a store you can go buy it for yourself
have fun uh so Carol and Sonia uh take a moment and uh Carol Sonia's like how was that dinner the
other day that I wasn't really possibly invited to because I probably made someone uncomfortable and Carol was like, well, Ramona brought up Beth and he's nudity.
And she goes, oh yeah, where was she nude again?
Was it hot?
She goes, oh, cinematics or something.
And suddenly goes, oh, well, that's great.
Cinematics is a top shelf program.
We are always talk about, we I can't to have any
cinema acts premieres I went to in San Trope. Nigerian football team,
San Trope, Madonna, JFK Jr. It was great. You don't know what it is until
Merrill Streep's taking it up against a tree from the football team. What a
film. What was the name of it again? Max the sinner? No, cinema. Oh, yeah, it's great.
So Carol's like, no, it's not okay. So yeah, because she brought her daughter into it, you know,
she brought her daughter. And not baby named daughter. So you says, Oh, it's fine.
My daughter's fine and look at all the things I've done.
And like a wink set the camera for them to start her clip
package is like Sonya's vagina and, you know, Las Vegas.
Sonya's vagina in Miami.
Sonya falling down and trying to snort co-coffit toilet seat in Hawaii.
Sonya's like, yeah, she's fine.
She's already done with rehab.
At least she always knows what to get me for Christmas.
So then, Luan and Tinsley are talking.
And they're talking, Tinsley's talking about how she's
living in Sonya's place, whatever.
And Luan's like, oh, you're not upstairs.
Wait, you're not in the bridal suite.
Oh my god, okay, boo-an.
You got to move up there.
That way you can get a real man.
Light-om, digacino.
Would you believe it?
I'm getting married, tinsley.
You shouldn't stay in the girls' room.
I mean, staying that daughter's room is disgusting.
I mean, could you imagine waking up
and seeing all those creepy stuffed animals looking at you?
I'm like, yeah, I can imagine it because I've taken an app during this show before and there's nothing like opening your eyes in the middle of a real house
Wise with New York. I'm saying it is like creepy dolls staring back at you. It really is. It really is creepy stuffed animals with really obnoxious
personalities wake up
Listen to you got to get up to the bridal suite.
There's no drug and a tube TV up there.
It's fantastic.
So Carol and Luan, um, oh wait, I just want to mention that we had another Ramona cutaway
because I'm like obsessed with these Ramona cutaways where she goes in the kitchen and
she tells us that when you bring more glasses for the self-server bar, okay?
Can you bring these glasses out to the bar as Ramona's like literally holding the glasses
but she's like not willing to take them herself to the self-server bar.
Just dying.
Here's how you hold glasses.
Make a high five but then flat and then put the stem between each of your fingers like
this.
Look, I've got 20. Okay, now you do it. Do you want me to take these glasses out for you?
Okay, here they are for you.
Look in cater waiter nightmare. Yeah, so Luan goes up to talk to
Carol and they're talking about Carol's upcoming election party and
She's like, well, I don't think Ramona wants to come, but you know, I think I should just
tell her to stay away either way. And then they cut to Ramona and she's counting the chair. She's
like one chair, two chair. Okay, that's three chairs. You don't know how many dining room table chairs
you have. Come on Ramona. This is why I'm very informed on the election, okay?
I know how to count things, okay?
If they had me, there'd be no hanging chads.
Did just be hanging Ramona's,
because I'm just be hanging out
with my best girlfriends, aka Avery's girlfriends, okay?
And we'll hang out and count votes
and make elections happen, okay?
The only way there would be a hanging chat
is if he messed with me and treated me wrong
because now I'm a renewed strong woman and I don't take that from men and I would hang
chad in a second, okay?
Although guess what, I have a date with Chad.
We're just gonna hang out, hanging chat, get it, black ammon, hashtag coolmom, okay?
You know, I've never dated a black person but I've been trying to learn black ammon for a long time, okay? You know, I've never dated a black person, but I've been trying to learn black
Gammond for a long time, okay?
Listen, I don't like to play that game, okay? I don't see color to me. It's all just Gammond, okay?
So she's got a kids table like a Thanksgiving. There's like a little card table unfold in the other room with like the
non-famous people have to sit. Yeah, and
Vermona goes around going
Okay, kids say
Anybody born here and no fan bye
No, but people in here in no
And it's so it's so aggressively passive aggressive.
Cause she goes, Bethany is, but she's a no show.
Is that a November thing?
It's like, you know, everybody else is here.
I guess that's not a new November thing.
Maybe just a, if your name is Bethany in November, maybe if it's a,
your name is Bethany and you can't spell Bethany properly in November thing
to not come to a dinner party for your friends birthday, okay?
I don't know, you know, I guess people in,
born in November, Carrie Grudge is okay.
Like Bethany, okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
So, finally, and by the way, we should also mention,
it's not really important to anything,
but I feel like it sets the scene
that Candice Bushnell is in the mix.
She's just, she's at the adult table, the celebrity table.
I love Candace Bushnell. I've read her books. She's the writer of The Sex and the City, but...
Yes.
And she writes this one about this really shallow idiot model who starts aging, and she doesn't just get free places to stay in the Hamptons anymore.
And she kind of has to start figuring out
how to do it as an older woman.
And I was like, you know what,
this is a perfect place for Sony to be crashing
because Candace totally gets it.
You know, she's like, I get it Sonya.
You've got to, you know, you can stay
in the broken down hoe room.
I've got it reserved for all of us, darling.
And when he says broken down hoe,
he means like actual garden hose that have broken that's where she stays
So now finally everyone's that by the way we are all of three minutes into the episode. Oh my god
So Sonia the girls all sit at the end of the table and Sonia has come into this deciding that
she's going to forgive everybody, even though she doesn't know that they're all pissed
at her.
So she's coming in trying to act all positive.
And she tells us she's like, hi, Durinda, where have you been?
I mean, it's been a long summer.
I didn't even know if you were around.
And Durinda gets all mad right out the gate.
She's like, well, we're not going to be around.
I'm here. I'm here
I'm here. How? I'm here with my friends my best friend the people who love me. All right, that's why I'm here
I'm gonna remote them when cuz they love me so much. That's where I am. Well, fuck you think I am
Where you think I would be on here? This is my channel, okay?
With my friends who support me just the way the bottom cake supports
the top cake. I love Winterinda is just completely unhinged. Yeah. And then Sonya's still
not getting it. And she's like, well, it kind of makes me feel bad that you know you're
staying with the girls with Luan one night with Ramona the other night because I used to mooch from them, you know,
it's very difficult like finding a new bed that I had to break in.
Yeah.
Well, because Durrindo was like, yeah, I just been, you know, trying to figure out, I guess split my time
between the friends who like me like Luan and Ramona, whose house I'm staying in, whose room I'm staying in,
because I was invited to stay in Ramona's home because I got real friends like Ramona and house I'm staying in whose room I'm staying in because I was invited to stay in Ramona's home
Because I got real friends like Ramona and Luan and that's when Sonia was like I used to be like gumbo between these girls
I'm like gumbo
Where'd that come from I was the jumble I have these guys I mean it is fitting
It's like she is the fishy mess in between the girls, you know
So she was on a on a on a stove top for an hour to make a night.
So son, you just kind of looks at her and then she's like, well, that's nice.
And Dorenika's.
All right.
Yeah.
That's nice.
Right.
You want to tell a blogger?
You got a blogger to tell you didn't use my folks.
You call your blogger.
Hey, how about you go on the internet, right?
That go on the internet.
Right.
How about you get some Wi-Fi here? You get some Wi-Fi? You could go on the internet and you could
tell him what a goddamn liar you want to take. Oh my god. Jesus, let like, let her get through
at least a bite of spaghetti girl. Sonia's still just like she has no idea what's going on.
And then, then driven is like, let's take the elephant out of the room right now.
Shut your mouth!
What'd I say?
And by the way, Derenda has her fully full of food,
like spaghetti and lettuce falling out of it.
Because Derenda is like most powerful,
it's her weird Samson and Delilah power.
Like the more food she has in her mouth,
the more powerful she can be.
Like as soon as she swallows, she loses all her power.
So she has to always have shit, kutons, breadsticks.
It all has to be in the air.
So that way she'd be like, crud from now, okay?
Checking out for the other room, okay?
That's what we're gonna do right now.
And it's not only all over the inside of her mouth, she's always got shit on the outside
of her mouth. She's one of shit on the outside of her mouth.
She's one of those people who like eats with her teeth
and her outer lips as well,
like a second set of teeth.
Yeah.
There's always like a little shine on her chin
where some olive oil got.
And then Durinda just starts up with all of her,
you know, Ragey written lines.
She's like, you know what, so yeah, you have a reputation,
okay, you have a reputation.
And it's not going further, honey, stop getting bad
for the rejuvenation or whatever.
I put it easy past on that holiday title, all right.
So next time, Ben, past you, they'll just have a stick on them
to take a pay you for your whole services, all right?
Get in the left lane.
This lane is closing right now.
Why don't you merge now?
It's like a zipper.
You know what?
You know what? You have a giant is like a zipper merging.
You got to merge.
There's a guy you got a guy exact change for the tolls.
You know, it isn't even a hollering settle.
It's a route about.
That's what you've decided.
It's it's it's all these people coming to class together.
No one wants those where to go.
Are they that make it the centerpiece of best? This is what you these people come in the class together. No one wants those Where to go and they're making the centerpiece the best.
This is what you got to do with the other John. There's a detour
You got to go up to 52nd Street go over to us the Queen's Barrow Bridge
Make a left-go to Grace Papaya get a hot dog go to Central Park walk around lose your purse
Go to the go to Port Authority talk to some people there and then you go home for the night
Because you never get across the tunnel are the bridge of your vagina
And teensley tell us this
Sonia warned me about her but well wow
I also like that when when during this art yelling at Sonia Sonia. Just like oh what are you gonna do back it up for me?
She just sort of had like a very quiet little bit of shade there, which I liked
But eventually is they're coming after sober Sonia, which no one has a problem with Sober
Sonia.
I mean, Sober Sonia is fun.
She's sweet.
She could work through anything.
She's got tough skin.
It's drunk Sonia that you got a yellow eye, you know.
They're not the same person.
Yeah.
And then Ramona on our, on our etiquette class, Ramona goes, whoa, I knew it was gonna be a blowout,
but at least she could have waited for dessert.
I mean, couldn't she have waited?
No, no, I guess she couldn't.
She's all mad.
Ramona, the queen of etiquette.
I also like that, Durinda.
She like, after doing this whole easy past thing,
she finally landed on like a catch phrase that she liked.
She was like, turn silent ticket to get to your townhouse turn silent ticket
I'm like well. Yeah, that's pretty much actually get to most places in New York today
You go through a turn sign on the subway
And I just have candy bush and I was sitting there just looking at like
Glend the guy the other end of the table like what the fuck is going on isn't this the most amazing thing ever?
Yeah, I got to take it escalated to get you a basement file lean
Well, as you call your friend Marshall, huh
See what deals I'll give you so everyone's starting to tell her okay enough to rent a Jesus
No, I'm not unless you know what she said stuff on the phone to a blogger.
Hey, did you enjoy the shower, Sonya?
Did you enjoy the bridal shower?
And son, he's like, yes, I did, it was lovely.
She's like, oh yeah, I did enjoy the stripper.
Ha, did you enjoy that stripper getting on ya?
And then banging his ass on ya in the bubbly.
Did you?
Actually, it sounds like fucking good.
At the best part is that at this point
Durrinda has stood up and put one of her hands on her lower back and was pointing with the other one
Just like full on I was like why is this woman not on a cop show?
Why is she not like in a court show like you're Anna?
May the wreckage show that you was at a bridal shower enjoying a strip of doggy style
And I'd like I know that you know that that's what you're supposed to be doing at a bridal shower
Right, that's why they bring a stripper to Rinda. I mean you've got a strong case on some other wins
But and here is how extra
Real houses in New York City is we again rolling in the first five minutes and the music, the entire
time is like that casual, easy-going, vibraphone music. Because this really is not a heavy-duty,
real house-wise fight. But on this sort of fight, it would be the sort of fight if it was
on Beverly Hills where the music would be so tense and be like, bum, bum, bum.
But on this show, this is just like, this is nothing.
And that's what I have.
I'm Beverly Hills, it'd be like,
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun.
Yeah.
Bum bum bum bum bum bum.
Whoa, calm down with it.
What do you call this giant drum?
Okay, it doesn't matter.
So then the one who's sober is still mismanners.
She goes, this is not how one acts at a dinner party.
And then Luhan, she starts confronting Sony about things that Sony has said in blogs
or whatever. And about how Sony has said that she wouldn't be cut dead in Luhan's wedding.
And Sony is like, no, it's just I'm going to Foucaix. That's all.
I mean, listen, I booked my trips to Foucaix when I was still seeing Tom which is so underhanded and
amazing and the man's like oh yeah he's not going to the wedding it doesn't
have to do with no bouquet okay you're not going because you need an invitation
to a wedding honey yeah you do, you do. You do. You need an invitation.
Check your mailbox.
Bet it's full of bills.
Are there any invitations?
No!
Yeah.
Kassori, keep saying.
I do have one.
Yeah, so do you keep saying, well, I would go if I,
like, I would have gone if I could have.
And it's like, you weren't invited.
Of course I was invited.
Bridal shower, you weren't invited.
I wasn't.
So you're saying you're confirming.
I was invited.
You were not invited. I was not non-vited got it.
Then Durinda is on such a tear she just starts saying random things she's like it's the
beginning of the end go get a bag of bananas and cucumbers and continue on honey and Then Luangos and then law after she says that alone just goes we don't need to yell
Can we be civilized please and
Sonia goes oh if you don't believe me girls
Maybe so try reading the newspapers and during the goes I know I'll read
And she goes well think you would know that I was doing an off-frog way play. And she goes, that's not a play.
It's disgusting.
And then Sonya goes, Charlie Rose didn't say it was disgusting.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
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And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
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I'm like, that's because he was bed ridden with a heart attack and you probably gave it
to him.
I like the darenba.
Anything that's disgusting can't be a play.
Yeah.
That wasn't a play.
It was disgusting.
You know, that was trash.
That was bananas and cucumbers in a bag with a moldy. So then some guests, some dude guests
use a total car. Wait, before that, we then cut to commercial and it's Cynthia Bailey
saying, we housewives have a thing or two in common with the Guardians of the Galaxy.
And I was like, please, let's, I can't even go down this path.
This is not crap in the mailbag.
We are not doing it.
Guardians of the Galaxy, which one would be each housewife?
Well, you all do look like people who could have made, been made on FX's project runway type.
So for makeup artists where they're making scary monster.
Baker.
They're like, now today's challenge is to mold a real housewives face.
The scariest challenge ever. I was about to say, you know, the Guardians of the Galaxy
look more human than most of these housewives. I know that blue chick is actually starting
to look like a normal human being compared to some of these faces. Um, the blue chick is a green chick and she was a blue chick in Avatar.
So that has never allowed to be, but her own skin color, she has to be something very, very unnatural.
Fourth thing. Uh, so this guy toast, he's like, I have a toast to make.
He used to great health and great times and well, he's
sure for where he's sure that means
like well I'm not used to a dinner
party starting in this way so instead
let me chose to you know good times
and hostess and a lovely dinner
party and everyone's like here here
and for a moment it seems like order
has been restored and then during
his like yesterday she's's landed me and my family. Carol goes
also to the elections, me the best woman win. And during the
cause. Yeah, you know, this is, you know, this
in elections, Sonya, right? Yeah, I know, I know, because you
were a consultant for Donald Trump. Am I right?
And they show a picture of Sonya really young next to Donald Trump and Sonya tells us I was a consultant for Donald Trump
I was a lifestyle brand consultant. What's your point?
And then to her just like you're a liar and a fraud fix the toilet in your a townhouse
You want to go away Fix your toilet you dad ask and you know what do it in your house coat? Is it he builds up?
That is the worst great gardens impression I ever heard but I still love it
I'm loving Durinda like and just like you never fucking calms down
I would like to thank the inventors of cocaine
Bringing us this episode and do it like she never fucking calms down i would like to thank the adventures of cocaine you have to set up a
it's like just wander around okay wander around wander around
so then outside
bethany shows up in the what's the matter mobile
and because i totally forgotten that she was gonna pick up carol so i think what's
bethany doing here
but she shows up like fb i surveillance using the driveway
not willing to even go inside
she's sitting there calling cao she's like uh..., not willing to even go inside. She's just sitting there, she's calling Cal.
What's going on?
What's going on?
What's going on?
Seriously?
Like, what's going on?
I'm sitting out, I'm fretting the driveway.
It looks like a man has in there.
What is it?
Like, man, Max in there?
Like, what the hell's going on?
So I drive this car through the window right now, like, I mean, I've got damn action movies.
That's what I should do.
Like, what am I?
Mel Gibson?
What are the Jews mad at me?
Like, seriously, what did I do? Sorry. Like, I was milk it's important to use madame like seriously what did i do sorry it would like i was wrong it was a
d.y. what do you want for me like like i'm sorry like okay so i'm gonna get to go to
moon shadows again like you think i care about munch house like i want to go to
malibu like you know i need malibu like a new hole ahead like no one needs a
hole in the bottom of the already have a whole like i can't like maybe i'm crazy
maybe i do need the little button i'm the crazy one here like i'll see my
walls are up honestly my walls are up i'm crying mad max is happening
charlie theran's no good nor do you found. I need to drive off a cliff. I literally I can't
And
She she actually said yeah, I'm like Joe pesci like I'm in a van like like what they say like I'm Joe pesci in that lethal weapon
Would be which is another another fun
Mel Gibson or was she being Joe pesci in my cousin Vinnie? Oh
My biological log is like the link. It's like it's like it's literally like it's clicking like this
But it's not even that it's not it's not my Bible clock is like this
So fast like literally like time's going fast like literally back to the future. I can't
Like seriously expect me to go in there. She called me wicked
And then she called me a witch like what am I the wicked witch?
Why do you need two separate dishes to call me the wicked witch and my the wicked witch from the movie or my the
We could which are in the musical like I'm in my the ugly crackly one or my like the hot
thin one but they look close like seriously I need to know like one of my
supposed to sing a uh uh uh uh big belpty song like while I'm tied up on strings
like hanging over the audience like a goddamn idiot at the end of the first
act like seriously what are you saying? Like if I see another flying monkey like
I'll be dead like I literally I can't like I'm like how is this monkey fly like
why like who like what like what's the matter with these monkeys like why do they
like why they just like say like bananas bananas? Like what's the matter of these monkeys? Why did they say why?
Why did they just say it and eat bananas?
Like what's the matter of these monkeys?
Why did they just say it and eat bananas?
Like what's the matter of these monkeys?
She doesn't feed her monkeys bananas.
Like I can't, I don't understand these things.
Go get a bag of bananas.
So, she's the girlfriend.
Well I haven't had a chance to say anything to Ramona
but it's terrible in here.
Can I do it Monday?
She's getting permission from Bethany to say anything to Ramona, but it's terrible in here. Can I do it Monday?
She's getting permission from Bethany to do it Monday. I love that. And then meanwhile Ramona pulls Sonia away to talk. And she's like, she's crazy.
Durrindas crazy. And you just see Durrindas, she just gets up and points because
you're crazy. You're crazy. And the land and the land just goes, is there any dessert? The Ramona
tries to take Sonya to the side and Duranne get up to follow and everybody's like, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Sit down Duranne. Sit down. And then so Ramona and Sonia go off to talk alone
and Sonia says, you know, I think that Dorinda just needed to vent. And she hasn't really had a chance because she hadn't seen me yet.
So it's no big deal.
You know, of course I've talked to people, but the thing she's saying, it doesn't sound
like me.
You know, I would never say stuff like that to the press.
But she doesn't mention Facebook.
Notice that she's very specifically saying, I didn't say it to the press, like trying to
get all tricky.
And Ramona goes, look, okay, you're a good gal.
She's a good gal.
That lady over there at the kids table is a good gal.
She has, she has needs like a old lady.
And look, she's sitting on a baby chair,
not one complaint.
You're a good gal, no, Benba.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
So Carol now that she's trying to make her exit, you know, she's having this election
party in her few days and she has invited Ramona, but she doesn't really want Ramona to
be there, but she doesn't want to be rude and disinviter.
So she goes up to Ramona with the intention of basically like trying to downplay the party
and make it sound like it's really shitty so that way Ramona will be like, oh, I don't
want to go.
So she goes, so Carol goes up to her mom and she's like listen
You know, I'm having this election party and you don't want to go so it's perfect
I'm like, oh no, I'm going. I want to go and then Carol's like no, but you don't want no
I'm going so then Carol goes it's a really important night for me
Which is so condescending is if she's the only one affected in the election
So then rumors like well now I'm definitely coming okay?
And then Karol, I can just say half an hour.
She goes, no, no, no, no.
You don't even care about Hillary, which is like, that's not to put your shoulders to
be open to all views.
She's, what are you disembiding me? And She goes no not disinviting good them on coming
Yeah, and then I love that Sonya goes Liz you're unfiltered. You're not allowed in political environments
Ever a moment tells them both you are not a friend you are not a friend
I was just saying that you're a good girl and you're a good girl and November over there is's a good girl. Hi, no, Vemba. Do you need something to drink? Go get it
But I take it all back. Okay, none of you are good girls. You're all terrible. You're not my friend. You're not my friend
Bye, that's it. I'm done. Yeah, and meanwhile Daren does in the corner now totally corn
She is actually cornered Candice Bushnell and she's venting to this woman. She's like
She's so nice. She's a real problem. You know You know what you know what she comes in here acting like all happy. I everything happy duty whatever
I'll tell you how I'm doing not well bitch
Kind of pushing else like sitting there writing notes like okay, can you repeat that again?
I know this is not for both. This is just so I remember tonight. Yeah, you know how you know how Michelle Obama says
You know when they go low I go high fuck that Oh, Baba. I don't do that. All right.
When they go low, I got a bag of bananas and cucumbers. Okay
Bash you over the head with it. Go have fun.
I'm
Turn stop and then Ramona does my favorite reality show thing where she brings out a birthday cake. Yes
Okay, everybody. Let's sing a happy birthday song. Okay. Okay, everybody. Lessing a happy birthday song.
Okay.
Happy, okay.
Do you?
Happy birthday, wherever you are.
Happy birthday.
Stupid.
Happy birthday.
Okay.
To you.
Okay.
Sorry.
So the next morning at Candice Bushnell's house,
so who wins?
No, who wins.
Oh, Lou Anza.
Wait, Sonya's there, though, right?
No. Oh, no, they show Sonya first, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, oh, oh, there's nothing sadder than a poor person saying shit like that. I
know. I mean, it doesn't work in drive, but you can press the pedal down. I'll go to 60
miles per hour. I'll tell you, when I used to have dinner with the queen of England at the
Dendes in Paris, there were never fights like this. Moon over my L Lizzie am I right so
So now it's at Luian's place because remember she's having this brunch to celebrate her edition and
Candace Bush knows there and they're talking about there's showing the cider donuts which will make me so hungry and
Durinda is explaining you know, they're all rehashing the night before she's like it's like I give birth
They gave birth I put it out there and now I feel good. That was a very far from her.
You could do about it. You know, you give birth to a ugly baby. It's stuck to it. It's
in the world. What do you get to drive it to toilet?
Yeah. And Ramona is like, you know, she just needed to get it out. Okay. Because on like
Bethany, who holds a grudge who doesn't get it out, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so I'm like,
oh, wow. So Ramona is really going to go to Bethany this season. I like it. And then you got Carol, whose, her BF, her butt.
Okay.
I like that Ramona's new thing this year
is saying things into letters.
Yeah, you know, she'll say, that girl's a B.I.
And you know, now that's her B.F.
being a B.I. in her B.U.
To be fair, B.I. was a sort of like a throwbacking
that she used to say that she stopped saying,
but now she's back to BI. She's really committing to it. Yeah, she's really committing to it.
She's either way. Friends can say anything and get over it, and that's what real friends do.
But you know, then some friends, they don't, you know, they just perpetuate things by not coming
to the party that they's supposed to get yelled at
Yeah, yeah, so Ramona is now bitching about getting disinvited to Carol's and somehow she blames that I'm Bethany
She's like yeah, now I'm just invited, you know because Bethany wanted that that's like that didn't happen
And then and then Mona goes who disinvites someone anyway and they cut to her from like two episodes ago
Disinviting Sona from her house saying,
well I just told her it was a change of plans, okay?
I know she literally did that on this trip and then she's telling that to Durinda who's like,
uh-huh, yeah, uh-huh.
So Durinda, she doesn't bite its Sonya last year.
Yeah, exactly. So then they're all rehashing. And then I love Lou turns to Durin to go, you're such an elegant woman. I hate to see you go there as
in like mad, which is so funny. The difference is like, you know what, that's the
meaning. That's the, don't say that. Don't, don't say that. That's the meaning. You
know what, you need to close down your George Washington bridge on your mouth.
Okay, that's what it is. You know, the meeting, the meeting can go on the upper
level, low level. It's bridge gate with the meeting and Chris Christie's gonna make it cuz they in Jersey. I have no idea
We talked about you in some caution tape, right?
He's some caution tape wrapped around your mouth
So everybody knows that when you start to open it. There's a crime going on back there the cries are being a hypocrite
Because I remember when you when you found out about top you acted out holding it out
And then you started act like a goddamn fast
They don't say things like that to be weird
Geez all right
And then they go well the point is you feel better now she goes yeah, I feel better now
It's just I had to put her I had to put her back of the divot box and then everyone laughed
I'm like what's it as is that as a different box?
Give it box. I don't even know what that means can I look it up? I'm looking at a bright now. I'm looking at a's it? Is that as a divot box? Is it a divot box? I don't even know what that means. Can I look it up?
I'm looking up right now.
I'm looking up right now, actually, as we speak, divot box.
A divot box.
Oh, there's a dibbuk box, which is in the Hebrew language,
known as kufaqsik dibbuk, is a wine cabinet,
which is said to be haunted by a di-buk.
A di-buk is a restless, usually malicious spirit, spirit believe to be able to hunt and even possess the living you know if
if she said to the box it actually it actually seems to make sense but I don't
believe for a second that to render was talking about that she must I don't know
what she was making sense she's saying she's putting the monster back in the box space like the demon back in the box and Ramona is like so tinsley and sonar walk
over from you know by the way speaking of speaking of boxes it's a really good segue to
talk about a sponsor that we have is it not oh my god you're so good with your segue
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Is there anything, is there any greater gift though than the gift of gossip?
I don't think so because Sonia and Tinsley show up at Luans Place and all the women are
gabbling about them and Sonia and Tinsley can hear them talking because they just walk
in and they're just sitting there in the hallway listening to them all complaining about
Sonia and you'd think that this is your reggaearing up for another, you know, whole big fight, but instead Sonia walks in and just hugs Dorenda
And she's like, you know what? I slept on everything and I feel good
Dorenda's like, be too, I feel good too, yeah, I just needed to get it out and then they hug and Tinsley's like, what the fuck?
I love this whole thing because the walk over Sonia
Sonia's just so up her own
ass and I love it. She goes, well, I normally don't go to lose when I'm staying with her
because I don't like mixing the clicks. And then when they arrive, Durrinda is really
being so rude. Like the things that they hear them saying Durrinda goes, you know, you
know, it's really attractive with a bit of age woman's living in the past. You know, you know, it's really attractive with a bit of age woman living in the past.
You know, she's wearing shoes for pop beats in the 80s and Ramona thinks she's talking
about Tinsley and she goes, Oh, well, yeah, that's true, but I'd like Tinsley.
I'm trying to go, Oh, actually, you know what?
I like Tinsley too.
So rude.
Yeah.
So the makeup is just like easy breezy and over like nothing happened.
Well, the thing that was funny to me, I thought it was funny that Sony was like,
listen, I slept on it and I feel good.
I'm like, I don't think it was up to you to feel good.
I think you're supposed to come in here and be like,
listen, I'm sorry about all that, that, that, that, that, that, like, it's not for you.
But it didn't matter because they both were, you know, happy and we only
Sony Sony is pretty much the only person on Bravo who shows those signs of like, I don't
wanna say flexibility, but she can really take it.
I mean, Bethany went in on her, Dorenda went in on her and she's just like, yeah, they
needed to vent.
Yeah, she's really been ripped to shreds.
That thing with Bethany last year, we were mortified.
I couldn't believe she treated Sonya like that.
And then Derinda, I couldn't really either.
But yeah, but I hate it's really good at it.
But don't invite her to the Berkshire's, the worst trip in the history of these women
next to Scary Island.
And she's like whoa I think
that maybe maybe the reason why Sonya is so mad that she didn't get invited was that it was
such a legendary episode that she wasn't really part of that and and I think that it wasn't so much
about being disinvited from the weekend it was about you guys had an amazing episode and I wasn't
able to have any role in it. Well that's the sensible definitely way to look at it and I hope that's the way she looks at it,
but I feel like she mostly is told by other people how she's supposed to feel about things.
So she didn't really understand until the reunion and then her friends were like,
that was so rude, you better tell her off. That's true. She even understood that she should be
mad because she never knows when she should be mad. I mean, that whole thing last year when Ramona is like, you must be so upset about Tom.
She's like, no, not at all.
I don't care.
I just fucked him a few times.
It's good for them.
Nope.
But you were together and now Louis stolen him from you?
He's like, no, no.
He didn't steal.
I mean, he wasn't mine.
We just fucked sometimes.
No.
But he was stolen.
I would be crying if I were you.
I would be so upset. And then Sony was like, oh my god. I'm crying. I'm so upset
Yeah, because of Tom. Oh, yeah, because of Tom. She's busy the answer
Yeah, what the man did yeah, it's like just turn her around point you're in a position with a big stick and have her start hitting something
You know, but you know what they need people like that on these shows
So they go and they look at Looanne's new addition to the house, which actually looks great
And they're all sitting there enjoying it. And there's, you know, and Sonia
saying, Sonia and Luan have like this weird piecemaking moment, where Sonia is like, I'm
happy for you. You know, just got to be easy on me. You know, you got to like stop being
so mean or whatever that they were saying. And they have this one of a million. Oh, really
I wonder why I would be mean to you Sonya really really
I can't believe you'd say that here in my addition
But really honestly my favorite part of it was that once they had this uneasy piece
We then we then cut to a different scene like a few moments later and you just hear Luhan go
Oh look it's the duck parade parade you just see some ducks you just
see some ducks swimming by but I just love the idea that like a Luan was making
a little joke but be Luan probably really acts as if it's a very special
parade that happens and she has front row to it everyone gather around I hope
everyone's wearing their hats the duck parades beginning everyone the whole
reason we did this edition was to put a larger window in the bedroom so that we
had access to the ever so popular Duck Parade, which you might have read about in the history
books.
Everyone, the SAG Harbor Duck Parade's beginning of moment, get your blinis, we have to get
a good view, they're gonna be crowds, luckily we have the best seats in all the town.
Duck Parade!
Ramona comes up to Tinsley after they make up and she goes,
oh my god, Tinsley, that's two for two.
I give you credit.
And Tinsley goes, no, we did it together.
And the most awkward thing seeing Ramona A compliment
and B become a team with the newbie who's so much younger.
Right.
And smart one by Tinsley.
I don't know why I'm feeling so proud for Ramona this episode.
That never happens.
Yeah. And smart move for Tinsley to let to give Ramona some credit because Ramona did nothing
Ramona did absolutely nothing
So the best part is that I met them up to fail and you got them to a good job
But the best sorry. I just hit my desk with my knee. Um, I know you hit it when I'm like boom boom boom boom boom
So but the best part is so actor Sonia and the Luann have this moment. Like, you got to be
easier on me, you got to be nicer, truth, truth, truth. Then while Luann's watching the
duck parade go by and she's got like her noise maker out, Sonia is talking to Ramona
and she's like, she's like, you know, it's funny, you know, you know, Lou, she would
get drunk and leave me at parties and she's just not very supportive of me, but, you know, we love each other and, you know, I know, I know, you know, I'm invited.
She said I'm not invited, I'm invited to the wedding. I mean, even though she could be a total bitch and totally on support of it
didn't come see my play that Charlie Rose just loved and wrote a report in the New York magazine time saying best play of 2035. I know that she would have come.
The New York time post weekly loved it and Ramona Gus.
Her typical zone. Yeah, she just makes stuff up on her own. Yeah, you know, typical.
Well then Sonia says about Lou Ange. She's like, you know, she's just looking for stuff to be
aggressive about. But I love her. I love her look. There's her little parade going by
Little dr. Oh, I don't want to make a toast to happiness, but next time you see someone with a mic, please zip it
Because we don't want to take attention away from the doctorate am I right ladies?
So back in the city tinsley and dorenda meet for lunch and
Tinsley's in some sparkle dress
and Durinda's like, look at you, you guys buckles.
You're like Durinta.
It's dressed like Durinta today.
The only sparkle wear in New York.
Yes.
Tinsley's like, well, you know, it's great to be back in New York and so I thought, I'll
just do it up.
And then Luan walks in wearing the same grover for outfit that Durinda is wearing
that purple fur thing and she goes, oh look at this, is it shrugged night?
Last time I invite you to see the duck parade.
So they start talking about Ramona's party and how it's going to be a surprise party and
trying to say, oh go ahead.
No, I was going to say, I was really surprised to hear that Ramona's 60.
I don't know why it makes sense.
But I always sort of think of Ramona as permanently 54.
And 60, I mean, that's kind of crazy.
Ramona's 60.
It's because everybody lies about their age
so it doesn't look normal, you know?
But you know, even with her fillers,
the fillers actually age people,
because you associate them with older people.
She does look really good.
I mean, for a hamburger-gler face, she really did stretch that face so far back that she looks like she's wearing a mask, you know, like a beige robber mask.
But I like it. I still like it.
I think she was trying to fix her eye-pop thing, you know, where her her people are always making fun of her model walk with her popping eyes coming out.
She's like, I want that fixed. Instead, I want everybody to be worried about the hamburgers and their backs. Hey.
Well, you think your man Macchee's don't you?
So they start talking about this birthday party and during this, during this I'll call them now.
about this birthday party and turn this all calm now. So like, well, you know, we have situational AC last year with like, we couldn't, someone couldn't be friends with the other
and then you couldn't be friends with the other friends. So, you know, I'm glad that we
could all just be together now. Like, you remember that that was you, right? It was
the Rinda, the Rinda, then Lewand's like, where's Sonia? Where is she? Why don't you tell him?
Yeah, Tensley's basically like, you know, well, I didn't tell Sonia because you know, uh... secret the right and louis and i think where sonia where she wasn't yet and these days like
you know what i didn't tell that i didn't have some yet because you know i just
want to see that any ron terms it's a right that i don't know
a k a
tensley does not want to be associated with so yeah and we also know that this is
going to be bad news for
because she says
she's reiterating the fact that so yeah has in courage to make new friends
and be friends with people.
But we know this is not gonna end well for Tinsley.
Yes, and Tarenda, she goes,
yeah, I really bit, she could have come,
it would have been fun, but you know,
so, Jabal Agade, that's jealous and angry woman,
and he is very brave to this, huh?
Yeah, cause she holds grudges,
watch out, since Lisa,
I feel all those grudges.
I don't mean, I don't hold grudges. Watch out, since Lisa, she holds grudges. I don't mean I don't hold grudges.
Yeah, you shoot people in the face like they're dead.
You have no reason to hold a grudge.
Yeah, I don't know grudges.
You know who holds grudges?
Sonia, like that time when I tried to talk with her and she held a grudge on me.
I'll never forget that.
She holds a lot of grudges.
So then we cut to Sonia, because Tensley is like, well, I think she's happy.
She's got this really cute young guy and he's really into her. So we cut to her house, because Tinsley's like, well, I think she's happy.
She's got this really cute young guy and he's really into her.
So we cut to her house.
She's in the bathroom placing panties all over her bidet to pick which
she's fancy.
Yeah, which one, which piece of lingerie is she's going to sit
use Edgar the Frenchy and then ultimately decided it once you found like her
contenders, she puts them in the bidet and washes them there,
which seems really wrong.
I mean, it shouldn't, it's fine, there was soap in there,
but it just does not seem.
Well, you don't wash like stuff that's been dirtyed
by your vagina in another thing that's like covered
in your vagina.
That's weird.
It's like washing your dishes in dirty dishwasher.
Why would you do that?
I don't think the bidet is much for that.
So then I was dying.
And then so then we go back to Tao where they are.
And Luann starts talking about Tom's birthday.
And she's like, I'm thinking mariachi's.
I mean, who does a lot of mariachi?
Who does the mariachi?
Have you all ever heard of the taco?
This thing, I sort of created it back in 2009
with no album, we do taco Tuesday.
And I kind of forgot about it.
But then I thought, no, this could be my thing.
So here's what you do.
You find someone who's sort of brown skinned
and you get a tortilla from him.
And then you just stuff things in it
and you get his marriottie band.
And watch the ducks go by.
It's great. So it turns like can't come because she's got to go to Palm Beach to sign court papers to
get whatever off her record. And so they start talking about that and during this like, yeah, the bug
jet and she's like, like, I look horrible. I'm crying. Like, I look like seriously, look terrible
in my mug shot. And then I go, I felt for you during that time.
And during this, I want to give you a big taco.
And she goes, it was just a bad relationship.
And Darynda goes, it's always a bad relationship.
We have crazy stuff to live.
OK, that's like such a loaded comment coming for Darynda.
Because you know her ass will be in jail at some point
in this relationship.
Well, then it's fitting that the next scene was to end up visiting John at Madame Poulette.
Poulette.
We do crazy things for love.
Like dating lawn, love, dry cleaners.
Well, great thing, dry cleaners this week was going into the dry cleaners for John with
some salmon.
I mean, crazy, the things we do for love. It's like a great salmon.
Sam and I right.
Salmon my fave.
That's why you're losing weight, Jan. Because he and salmon like I don't know where you
think that weight was lost.
I could see it actually. I thought he looked a little skinnier.
I couldn't little.
It's going to take more than salmon. Trust me is someone constantly trying to lose weight. Yeah. Salmon is a dessert. Okay, he
already had lunch. He already had it. There's a fast food bag crumpled up in his
desk drawer. I guarantee it. Hey, John, who's Wendy? Huh? Who's Wendy? Who
you talking to with Wendy? You know what? You got you got to put an easy pass on
that goes with John on Wendy. I don't want to see her around here with her big
potatoes. She's making you big potatoes.
I'm the one who makes you big potatoes, John.
Don't you forget that.
Don't leave me here carrying the bag.
What's the square burger?
Hanshawn?
Who's this Wendy makes you square burger?
Let's not need a real thing, John.
Hello.
She says, yeah, you know,
lose your weight.
It's like really helped you yourself, you know?
Now maybe we can just start staying away
for those stressful people and we'll be good.
You know what I mean?
Those stressful people, is that your Coke dealer,
you're talking about or Sonya?
Because I have a feeling one is more stressful
than the other in your life.
So John tries to get a move and date,
but she won't give it to him because Hannah's moving
and she goes, yeah, he wants to get married.
They use the typical bad, you know?
Like, you'd be the bad doubt enough that they accept it.
I'm like, I threw in the, yeah, I like that.
That's my favorite kind of women empowerment.
Yeah.
So then we go over to Carol's apartment,
where Bethany comes over just to like talk to you,
just chat, chat about things
and we learned that you know we have a joke about Carol naming her dog baby but we
learned that she's named all of her cats baby so there's two cats in the dog and they're
all named baby which means there's a lot of TLC going, baby, baby, baby. Oh, yeah, that's Justin Bieber.
That's Justin Bieber.
How dare you?
It's baby, baby, baby.
I got so much love.
I mean, if they only keep one cat, they could do baby, baby.
Don't think I didn't think about that, Ronnie.
Don't think that was my, Amy Grant is always my go to.
But there was her baby.
I had to do TLC.
Yeah.
And Carol also probably isn't like an Amy Grant fan, you know, she's probably like,
he's support Trump.
Every heartbeat.
There's your name loud and clear.
I sing it.
Callery.
So definitely it's like, baby, baby, baby, like that's ridiculous.
Like this one can wrap it up before.
Can't come up with different names.
Like that's like reading like little women
and they're all named baby.
Like what the hell?
How much supposed to know which one dies the polio?
How many babies?
Like literally like like what would this mean?
If you want a baby, like have a baby.
Like why don't you name them all baby?
Like I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know what these these castings like.
You say baby, they're all gonna run to you.
Like I can't, like I won't know what these these castings like you say baby they're all gonna run to you like I can't like I won't
Carol goes oh, there's something about kittens look at them. I'm dying
Definitely just looking at them like oh my god, please get me out of here. I'm gonna fucking kill myself So we can talk. Oh, sorry, you can watch them all day. You'll see
We have to talk about this couch.
So, this couch is tattered,
and our friend sent us a little thing
that I didn't read fully,
but the synopsis that she sent me
is that I think the couch is some sort of heirloom
from the rats from Lee Radswell. Who Lee Radswell is, I think the couch is some sort of heirloom from the rats from Lee Radswell who Lee Radswell is I think it's Jackie is Lee Radswell
Jackie O's sister something like that and so if there's something sort of
heirloom me about it's they don't want to they don't want to fix it up but that
being said I think it's time you can you can get a repulsed it's okay it's
yeah I think it's time yeah it's more respectful to the couch but it's time, you can get a Reapolster. It's okay. It's time.
It's more respectful to the couch,
but it's also wise to wait until those kittens
are grown up a little bit.
Well, it's also like don't say you're not going
to reapolster it out of respect for Lee Radswell
and then get two cats, you know,
because they're going to just ruin it.
And I don't know if any of this is true, by the way.
Yeah, who does?
So funny. I love the things people know out there.
We get so much random knowledge from the internet.
And I love it.
It's really important.
So Bethany talks a little bit about her divorce
and how it's held.
And she's like, but you know, like, no, we can say anything
about it.
But you know what?
Like, I'm done.
I'm going to figure it out.
I'm going to fix this.
I'm going to do this.
You know, there's like complications.
But like Ramona saying something about my daughter,
but I'm going through that. Like about my daughter, like the wicked, like the witch, and this. I'm going to do this. You know, there's like complications, but like Ramona saying something about my daughter, when I'm going through that, like about my
daughter, like the wicked, like the witch, and my daughter all at the same time, like it's
public. It's nasty. Don't pile on. Like that's disgusting. You know, are the complications she's
talking about, the stalking situation with Jason Hoppy? I think that comes, um, probably in a
couple of months in shooting time. I always try and keep in mind when they're shooting, because
that did happen while they were shooting. So we'll probably see it towards the end of the season. But it's
just a huge public fight because he doesn't want for industry. So they're always fighting
over something, you know, it's like the divorce that will never end. And so we're going to
get a lot of that this season. Good times. Yeah. So basically, Beth, this is like sort
of like a nothing scene because Beth is asking Carol about Adam, she's like, so basically Bethany is this is like sort of like a nothing scene because Bethany is asking
Carol about Adam she think so so what what's this word?
Shacking up. What is this? I don't know what this what checking up means What what does it mean like you and Adam are checking up like are you guys building a shack you're up radio shack
You know this is going out business right like you're gonna sell some like appliances like you can't it's going up
It's like there's no point. It's an old industry like don't go at box or video either like I don't know
I don't know how many times I have to tell you these are all cheater brands
I get to get into something new something interesting like give it five radishes out of set out of 10
because it's failing.
I'm saying I can't.
Like seriously, Radio Shack, like what are you gonna do
by a remote control car and like a tiny little battery
for a watch that doesn't even take those kind of batteries
into more like seriously, Radio Shack,
how are they even still open?
Like I passed a light bulb store the other day.
Like there's a whole store for light bulbs,
is that a real thing?
Like seriously, like that's you and Adam basically.
Like filament, like what do we even need to filament? Like what about halogen? Like there's so many options, halogen, fluorescent, and film, like I'm and Adam basically. Like, filament, like, what do we even need to filament?
Like, what about halogen?
Like, there's so many options, halogen, fluorescent, and phil,
like I'm gonna say, I can't, you know what?
Go back to your radio shack, all right?
Get an adapter, plug it into something,
and then plug something else into it.
You'll feel very happy, but it's a failing business.
It's a two-to-brand, like, you can't, I won't.
And her whole problem is with the term, shacking up,
and Carol goes, I just say, shacking up
because it's sexier. Yes, that's sexy? Like, what, you can't say living together? What's sexy about shacking up and Carol goes, I just say shacking up because it's sexier.
Yes, that's sexy.
Like what, you can't say living together.
What's sexy about shacking up?
I don't get it.
Yeah.
I just so, Carol's basically saying
they both need their alone time and blah, blah, blah,
which I got, you know, and she's like,
but what if what's gonna happen to me when I'm alone?
It's like another season. So Sonya, by the way, I'd be very concerned but if what's gonna happen to me when I'm alone.
It's like another season.
So Sonia and I.
By the way, I'd be very concerned about Carol
because for all this talk about Sonia being Grey Gardens,
those Grey Garden women,
they were like the nieces of Lee Radzwell, okay?
So it's in her family.
And now she's got a Grey Gardens couch in there
and the cats.
She's heading down that path, Carol.
Everyone's talking about Sonya,
but you're the one, you are the most
Grey Gardens-y person here,
because you actually have Grey Gardens-y shit
that's related to Grey Gardens-y people in your place.
Yeah, I could imagine Carol just, you know,
getting really sad and getting a house in the,
in the country out there and just letting it go to shit
and not realizing it, walking around with shirts tied around her head.
So the only other point of the scene is Bethany is saying that she's got too much
stuff going on in her life that she doesn't need remona.
You know, apologize too many times.
I apologize.
It's like I can't like what's the matter with it?
Like what what shows have to sort of fight like what happens?
She's been bad at me and apologize like I can't do it anymore.
I got a one and it's like a bum on my back. Like it's like a monkey on my back like George Michael. Like what do you sing songs
about my back? Like I can't you know what? He's my father figure but like he's dead. So I like
I have no father now. I'm not gonna cry on my walls or up.
So the last scene is Sonia venting to her new intern Connor who's so poor straight.
He's assistant. He's an assistant. How did he even end up in this job? He looks so
uncomfortable and you know he has to listen to this all day.
You know she's like, I've got my underwear stuck up my vagina.
Would you preach out, grab them, pull them down and go wash them into the day.
Don't wear rubber gloves.
I'm allergic to rubber.
So he's sitting there listening to her blab on like that.
Well, I love Tinsley and I'm really glad she's staying here,
but it really hurts my feelings
that she's going out with my friends
and doesn't invite me.
Wouldn't that hurt your feelings, Connor?
And he's like, I can't get it.
Because I know that she said, Tinsley,
you can be friends with these people,
but you have to do that.
When you do that sort of thing,
you can't just like friend hop,
you have to do that social grace.
I'm like, oh, I was talking to Luana D'Rinda.
I think we're gonna get dinner. Something like, you have to like, loop someone in, because if you can't just like friend hop you have to do that social grace I'm like oh I was talking to Luana Durinda I think we're gonna get dinner something like you have to like
Loop someone in because if you don't it looks like you've just used them to move on to new friends
So I actually sort of get what Sonya saying
Yeah, I do too. I think that being said Sonya is Sonya is prone to hysterics like when she said
I mean detensely forget that Tao is one of my friend Rocco's restaurants
I'm like Tao is a, super famous restaurant, okay?
Like a lot of people go to Tao.
I mean, I saw a fast food bag in her room the other day. Doesn't she know that I
dated Ronald McDonald in the 70s? I mean, how could she do that? That's a very close friend of mine.
I mean, doesn't she know? I mean, I would go on yachts with all sorts of royalty, including Burger King, okay?
Like, how could she just like go in there and like not even mention it to me?
I mean, going to Sizzler with one of my friends, no one's a bigger Sizzler than me.
I mean, here's a thing. She just goes to White Castle and she doesn't even realize that I'm friends with everyone who lives in the white castle.
Also, I'm white, which makes it doubly offensive.
I mean, what's the deal with her?
She goes, she takes the subway.
I'm like, doesn't she know that's my favorite restaurant?
And she says, and I know she's grateful, but you know, and she's not being a bitch, but
someone staying in your home should include you in their plans. And basically, Tensley got invited to this charity event and she's sitting at the
table of the people throwing the event and Sonia wasn't there and Tensley can hear all
this. So she's on the hallway listening. Our second eavesdrop of the past half an hour
with two years and she learned it from Sonia. So she is dropping and so she comes in and
finally, I mean, it's only episode three,
but we get to see Tinsley having a fit,
which was hilarious because she has a fit like a five year old.
She's like, babe, I just heard you bitching about me going out
with my best friends from Paul Beach.
And she's just, well, they're not your best friends.
She's, oh, look, I'm going through a really hard time right now.
And if I want to call some of my best friends, I think, oh, you just support that. Just oh
Yeah, then she's like I don't make don't make me feel bad that's mean and so it is like you're not friends with Jarrah I am friends with Jarred
It's like I'm not being because they're my best So silly. And Conner sitting there holding wheeling.
Conner sitting there holding Milo too in the background.
Like, can I be excused?
Nope, you stuck there.
Earned that $3 an hour, boy.
And somebody was like, you're going to the botanical
and don't even say to me what I like to come.
So you don't give me shit right now.
She was like, I'm not mad.
I'm hurt.
And I just, it's important that I say that to you.
And I've just wrote how odd that the most mature person
in this cast is fucking Sonya.
I mean, as immature as she is.
And that is kind of a junior high thing
to be like talking behind someone's back about
to a paid employee at, you know, granted.
But that she can think like this.
Is someone you've been in therapy?
Because I'm loving it.
Yeah.
And then, so yeah, she keeps saying like,
I'm not mad, I'm hurt, I'm not mad,
I'm hurt and turns he's like,
you know what?
Let's hug.
So there's that to hug.
And she goes, okay, all hug you,
even though you brought a man home and my daughter's bed
And I don't appreciate that because that's my daughter and who brings a straight man into somebody's home
I'm that's disgusting a straight man into someone's home on those sheets. I mean those are my daughter
She's how could you basically soiled my daughter's room? Anyway, I got to go clean my lingerie in the bed day. Excuse me
Anyway, I gotta go clean my lingerie in the bedet, excuse me. My underwear is drip drying inside the toaster abin, so if you'll excuse me.
I'll give you a hug, I'll forgive you, even though it was my birthday, didn't even get
me a card.
And she's like, I got you a candle.
Oh yes, the candle that I most certainly still have and is not in Ramona's house now.
Yes, yes.
That is such a good call too.
And that was, she just gave, she just regifted right in front of the friend who
gifted it to her. So good.
And that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of New York.
We will be back tomorrow with a nice long episode of Potomac.
Yeah, we got Potomac tomorrow and live show live show live show Michelle
Come on, it's May 9th.
Live show live show.
I would have robbed by your tickets now.
Are at the very least say that you're interested in going through our Facebook
and by thing doesn't look sad.
Just say you're interested.
Just pretend.
Just pretend darling.
Fake it to you, mate.
Alright everybody.
We love you. I will talk to you tomorrow.
Bye.
Bye.
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