Watch What Crappens - #452 Below Deck Med: Prom Queen Problems

Episode Date: May 10, 2017

The new pretty girl is given so much attention by horny losers that she starts breaking things with her mind on this week’s Below Deck Med. Enter if you dare. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my hat, got my Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Madonna Hines me a handsome Aloha Christy Doherty we love you girls Hello and welcome to the watch what crap ends podcast the podcast about all that crap We love to talk about on Yale Brabs our running Karen from trash talk TV in the RosePrix Bachelor podcast. And here I am with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mantelker of the B-side blog and the Banta Blender. Hello, Ben.

Well, hello, hello, hello. Welcome. Welcome, Ben. Welcome, Ben, to a very special below deck-made episode. Oh, my goodness. Before we start, we have to thank everyone who came to our show last night. So cool. The impact was so much fun.

And that show is available as a podcast. So if you didn't get to come, go listen to it. Yeah. We'll have that available at some point. It may already be available. I'm not sure. We'll just keep an eye out on your feed, which is a good reminder to subscribe to us on iTunes. Yeah, or wherever else you subscribe Thanks to everybody who came out. It's so nice to laugh with you guys in real life and Meet all you guys and we'll talk about more of that on our next bonus episode And you get those by going to Patreon and signing up for bonus episodes

Okay, yeah, and patreon there's all sorts of cool things you can get access to the crap and mailbag or the crap and spotlight, which we'll be doing later today. We are absolutely bonkers today. I'm warning you. It's like someone just broke a whole bunch of glass all over our bodies.

That poor girl. I mean, you know, there's so much talk of you massage and knee and blah, blah, blah in the world today. And I don't mean to blah, blah, blah, like to minimize it. But you know, everybody's like so up in arms. And then as a man, you watch a show like this and you're like, poor women, like I get it seriously like seriously to all you women who are trying to explain how offensive it is to be a woman's or how just gross it feels sometimes to be a woman. We get it.

So thank you Bobby from below deck. You fed up maniac. Yeah. And isn't as gross to me. I mean, he's gross. No, not yeah, but Adam. I mean, Bobbi Bobby's disgusting. Just stop. Seriously, there's a point at time. I think last season when I actually, he's gross. No, yeah, but Adam, I mean, Bobby, Bobby's disgusting. Just stop. Seriously, there's a point at time. I think last season when I actually kind of

like Bobby, but after this episode, I mean, after several episodes, but especially this episode, uh, Bobby, stop it. Fucking nerd who has one second of fame. And then before you know, he's just spitting all over you. Yeah, we are literally spitting all over you. Like every time he talks into the camera, I'm like, I feel your spit flying at my face. Just stop talking. Please go fix something. Well, it's ironic that this episode of Blow Deck Med began on a very up with women note with Sandy teaching Malia how to drive the tender around. I was going to go around and make a left and we're going to do a figure out with the tinder.

We're going back and forth. And that's how you do it. That's how you don't want your well rested and your piloting a tinder. Now, you might remember from the first time you tried to do this, how difficult it was because you didn't have an app first. Now, you're an app and you're ready to park this boat, Missy.

You got it. It's like a whole new boat. Things look different when you're well rested. Huh? It's different boat. Huh? You like that, Melia? Look at that. You know, go what you're wide. I am bushy tailed. Huh? Guess what? Eyebuggers do not float. And if a boat sinks, you got eyebuggers, you're helping the boat sink. Sick at some rest, Melia. Okay. Hey, Melia, you know what? You know what else is rested the lunch and I think it's ready to go across So let's bring that lunch across with the guests. There's another Malia world

She's the president's daughter and guess what have you ever seen Malia look tired? No, and I expect no less from you other Malia We have we have high hopes for all the Malia's in the world whether it's Famous Malia or other Malia and you're the other Malia, but you're just as good as famous Mal the Malia's in the world, whether it's famous Malia or other Malia, and you're the other Malia, but you're just as good as famous Malia. Oh, poor Malia. Literally poor Malia. Congratulations, I've taught you something. So Hannah's like, can you believe they brought the food on the boat?

Who does that? I would niv it to you that. And that was, by the way, that was last week's cliffhanger. Like the foods come here across on the tender. How is this going gonna work out? And then the food comes across. It's like, oh, this is lovely. What a lovely, polka salad.

Yeah, this is so fresh, lovely, perfect. Three huge plates of family style, polkae. Yeah. The big cliffhanger with a very unsatisfying resolution. I was super worried. So glad I worked out. At the gas, the first gas envelope that occur those women who are, they're like a bunch

of blonde white women who know each other. And they're like, we're a tribe. So every time something dramatic is happening in the show, they keep cutting to that group of white ladies going, wow, wasn't the Poke good? So tribal, delicious. Wow, whether or not. So then while they're having their lovely lunch, San Diego Mali are having a lunch, and Mali is like,

I just, I just get so nervous with that tender, and San Diego is like, you did great job. You were wonderful. You were well rested, and that's all I can ask of you. You're just a great, well-rested little girl. So fast. I just want to be capable, and I was a disaster. She goes, not a disaster. It's a learning

career. And I picked up the slack. I did with her hand in every damn pot. Yeah, exactly. Now here's a pillow, because you can get some food comb I have to this lunch. And I had the last thing I want you to do was be out there in that deck with some food comb. Okay. You know what? Parking boats is one thing. Another thing that really irks me stains on tables. I'm going to show you how to get this stain off the table in the mess. All are you ready?

Have you ever used four or nine before? Okay, it's real simple. You do take the bottle. You got to turn the little square thing. So it's that you want the off to be on the side. What's on the side? That means actually on. I know my if you're looking from the side, it looks like it's off.

If you look at it from overhead, it's on. And what you do is you say you do a few spritzes and may not come out of it. Just keep your don't lose faith. You have spritz. You get a nice fog on the table. You just wipe. Just wipe away.

It's real simple. Malia, you don't use 409. You're going to have a 911. Remember that, Malia. Let me give you a warning. Let me give you a warning. 11 on the 409. All right. If you you a one, one, one, the 409. All right.

If you have another question, though, be sure to call 3-1-1. Don't want to bother people with 911, you know. If you forget who taught you this, press star 69. It'll ring me. If I'm not there, Wes will be because no one leaves the captain's deck. I'm intended. Okay. So I read this. Ben. I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I like a good Ben slow down. Uh, uh, Okay, so beach.

Lauren, uh, I don't know, this really, this show really does cut back and forth to so many different things. And I just keep writing notes. I don't know why. You do. I don't know what's going to be an important scene or not.

Exactly. You never know. I wrote, I know what you're saying. I wrote the song. Lauren likes Hannah. And I was like, oh shit, okay, fine. So Lauren loves Hannah. Yeah, she's like, I sure got lucky with my chiefs too, man. Plus, you know, we knew each other before and I just don't want her to remember me as

that dude who gave Bobby a hand job and then got ignored for two weeks. So hopefully I'm really impressing her. Yeah, Lauren, Lauren's like, she knows that she's going to have an impressing her. Yeah, Lauren, Lauren's like, she knows that she's gonna have an issue with Bobby. So she's just gonna cozy right up to Hannah. Cause Bobby's doing that guy thing where it's like he fucks you, but then he pretends not to even know you. Yeah, it's like he's embarrassed that he's spit all over your face while trying to maneuver his tiny penis into you.

Now Bobby's claiming that things are cool with Hannah despite some hiccups. He's like, yeah, you know, we've had some fights, but everything's cool with us. I'm like, I don't know. Maybe she watched the rest of the show, Bobby, and see how you really feel about her. He throws temperate tantrums like a little baby. I mean, beyond screaming at a woman like that, who screams at anybody like that? Exactly. I'll tell you who's going to flip of him going, fuck you, fucking, fucking. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Bring out the four on nine, cause Bobby just fucked up mess all again. Tell you who's not yelling. Captain Sandy, because she just loves the way they put that banana away. I got a lot of that banana. That's a great banana. I was well rested banana. That's why I see that was the best clip of the whole so God I love that banana So then the tribe girls are doing some yoga and Adam the chef He has instructions to make a quote unquote tribal dinner, which I still don't really understand what that means except for it except that It's vaguely condescending to non-white people so His version of a tribal dinner is to make lentils

with Moroccan spices. In gigantic bowls. Just the way tribes make them. Tribal. So now we get some anchor drama. This should love some anchor drama. So it's like anchor, anchor, anchor, anchor. Anchor, anchor.

All right, it's time to get the anchor done who is ready. How many colors on a boat? Well, Sandy wants to do a special anchor trick because Sandy wants to do some sort of special thing where you take two chains out and you tie an anchor on one that rock and tie an anchor on another rock and this is like this is intense. What? No, it's just move. another rock and whizzes like, this is intense. Warden of dance moves. The last time I did something as intense as this

is I played my Nintendo 64 after bedtime. My parents had said, tune that off and I said, all right, dad sounds certainly pretty intense about that. Last time I was this much of a rebel. My dad was teaching me how to drive a car and I didn't look both ways before I went through a stop song. And he said, you never drive in again until tomorrow. And I until tomorrow and I said go stay and he said you're a rebel and I said I love my mom Chikker.

I just imagine being Chikker's son now. Um, it's kind of like Chikker's son. He goes home and Chikker's like you did wonderful. We were so proud the way you went all over the world like that. You put Dan and Anka by yourself. We were in a fight with Hulk. Huh? We're so brandy. I'd love to have some Tina whizz.

So while whizzes is out there, tying Ankers around rocks, the white girls are putting on tribal makeup, which is like, oh god. It's glitter lipstick that they're making triangles on their arms with. And like little lines and it's just mortifying for humanity. So while we live,

it's a packer's tribal. So while we're doing this stuff, there's some there's shackle drama because Bobby has to like lower the shackles down slowly and evenly per Sandy's request, but he's just like letting them drop down. And he's supposed to be lower the shackles down slowly and evenly per Sandy's request, but he's just like letting them drop down. And he's supposed to be counting the colors because there's the chains of different colors.

And it's like three on this one and three on that one. He's like, I can't do math. I'm like, it's three plus three. Because at first, he's acting all confident. Like, I got it. I got it. I'm doing the anchor. I got it.

Spit spit spit spit spit spit spit spit and the captain's up on her Her walkie-talkie going all right what colors do you see on the on the rope? Thing is red But unfortunately it was orange and then all this mud sprays up in his face because they've gotten to the end of the anchor And now they can't put the but the boat in dock and they're like oh my god and Sandy tells us you know an anchor it's made out of metal and then there's a chain that goes from the anchor all the way up and then at the end of the chain there's a little bit of rope and the reason for that is when somebody doesn't understand the difference between orange and red, you're going to have to cut it.

Now, you know how hard it is to cut a chain. It's hard. I've got a YouTube tutorial video on it that you can just put handy sandy, sandy, and that'll pop up. But thankfully, we got rope. So cut the rope will get a new anchor. And here's what you do. Here's what you do.

Here's what you do. Listen, you take out your big inflatable banana. you lie down on it, you take a nap on the water while we take care of the anchor and everything's grooved. Okay. Got it. I love that banana. So, yeah, basically, they, basically it was, it turned out to be a disaster because they couldn't, because the anchor went down too far.

There wasn't enough slack and Bobby wasn't listening. They couldn't haul, I guess the machine that brings the anchor back was jammed or slack and Bobby wasn't listening. They couldn't haul, I guess the machine that brings the anchor back was jammed or something. And I don't know. Did they ultimately have to cut that? Yeah, it was too deep. And so the anchor was dragging. And so it was all the way at the rope. So she's like, just cut the anchor. We'll call Amazon prime. I told you right over here with a new anchor. And so they just cut it. I didn't realize that they cut it. I thought that's. Good, guys. She did say the rope is there because of an emergency.

You cut the rope and now you can go. I sort of assumed they had to cut because they were saying like, ooh, big mistake. And Bob, he was like, all flumics and Sandy was like, I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna rule with an iron fist. That's not what I, he can see he messed up. He made his own mistake. I'm gonna have a nice talk with him later.

You know, maybe a a bedtime a little bedtime story You can get as long as you get some good sleep. This is why you need to have rest because you don't get good rest You're gonna have a shackle problem. I don't know much. There's a guy max He's like, I don't know I'm doing I bet no much about her. You this so you rub at the end of the unc like you forked He did say that. I don't know much, but I know where but the end of the anchor means I love you. Have the B or B a backhand. So the ladies are eating their giant tribal lentil soup.

I'm like, this is great. And then, um, yeah, me, um, whiz is trying to help out with the Inca and Sandy's like all right The way no it wasn't with Sandy Sandy was being aggressive with the not aggressive But she was being all hands on with the anchor. She's like do I want me to crawl in there? I'm gonna get you want me to get the anchor you want me to do that? You wish I pull it up. I'll do it I'm a team player and guess what sometimes teams put their head in big anchor holes and just hope that they're keeping. Listen, you're not a disaster. You're capable. There's a learning curve with the anchor. I'll bet you have five nickels. You keep your head if you put it in the hole. And he does. He's like, I'll do it. I'll put my head in the hole. And everyone else who says it like Max, he's like,

I don't know. You know, I'll do a lot that McCatons did, but put your head in the hole. I don't know if I'll do that. Who is running this ship? And I don't even want to just the captain, but this show is dangerous because you have to have entertaining people, but it seems like at least 80% of the people have never done it before.

Yeah, and you're fucked. I mean, the captain's dragging an anchor along the people have never done it before. Yeah. And you're fucked. I mean, the captain's dragging an anchor along the ground just because she wanted to have fun. Then she's telling her to put her head, people to put their head in the anchor hole and they're doing it. It's kind of terrifying.

Yeah. Well, I think she got in the anchor hole at one point. She's like, I'll get in there. I'll fix it. So then there's fish drama because Adam overcooked the fish, so he throws it out. And then Hannah was like, Oh, I'd walk a mile in anyone. She's almost the way in crocs. She drops the mic. Good night, everyone. So then actually my favorite thing, my favorite running

thing that's happening here is Adam being passive aggressive to Bugsy about like stacking chargers or plates or something. He's like, so, he's like, excuse me, I just need to give me a moment. Yeah, I just need to clean this up. He's like, well, if you stack the chargers, you would not to clean anything. It's like, fuck you. He's like, fuck you.

Fuck you, it's so nice. You know, this is how guys are. It's like, let's be nice to the supermodel who's never really done anything in her life. And let's be mean to bugsy for no reason. Let's be mean to the supermodel who's never really done anything in her life and let's be mean to Bugsie for no reason Let's be the Bugsie about stacking plates And also I have to publicly say because Bugsie Tweeted us a picture of herself because last week I said she has a funny face

But it's cute, you know like a cartoon character and her name is Bugsie So it all kind of fits and you know I love funny face. And so she tweeted just a picture of herself. She took a snapchat, you know that current snapchat filter, which makes your mouth gigantic and huge. And she sent us a cartoon picture of herself that said funny face. So you know what? God bless you. I love people who have a sense of humor about themselves. Well, I I already inherently like Bugsie quite a bit, and I love her simmering frustration with Adam, because you know it's gonna bubble over, and she's gonna be like the feminist icon we've always needed and wanted. And she's literally never done anything.

I mean, on these shows, usually everybody does something to annoy the other people, but she hasn't even done anything. She's like, Siff, how would you like me to serve your food? He's like, like a human, you're fucking morons! So many dumb questions, you dumb question. Ask her. Now that's a bitch. I wouldn't invite my van. You live in a van, dude. Drop the attitude. So Hannah has arranged for a belly dancer as a surprise for this tribal dinner. And of course, Bobby's like, oh, hey, I'm Bobby. What's going on lady of jets? I just pulled my head out of the anchor hole. Yeah, she's like, duh. And so then the tribe a gay, these white women

these white women were like, we're like, um, could you tell us about the African spices? And so I was like, Did you tell us about the African spices? And so I was like, uh, Adam, could you go and speak yet? The lady was lentil. So it's lentil. Could we maybe have the chef? Maybe the chef could do it. She's like, all right.

Shift, they want to know what spices. He comes at me. He's like, all right, here's the Moroccan spices. Cumin, hmm. Paprika, hmm. Herbs, the tribe, province. There's some hamburger helper spice that he just opened and poured in there. And then he's like, well, I hope you enjoy the belly dancing you're about to see that Hannah are arranged for you.

And they're like, um, and Hannah's like you fucking idiot Also surprised you dumbass And Hannah tells us I'm happy I'm getting along with the shift But there's something I can't put my finger on about him and it makes me nervous because that's what Jack the Ripper's neighbor said Adam's like sorry, I didn't mean to ruin the surprise. It's just like I got so distracted with that dumb bitch Bugsie am I right? Plate stacker plate stacker helper outer Wiping things down making my environment cleaner being helpful in general steep bitch

so next in the mess Lauren and Lauren and Bobby are in there Lauren's eating and Bobby's just running around That was nice play of words in the mess. Yes, I like that That's what it's called right the mess. Yeah, but it was between them to them. It is a mess So down in the yeah down in the mess messy Lauren's like oh Bobby won't even look me in my eye and like, oh, Bobby won't even look me in my eye. And she's like, hi, I'm horned. We dated. I've given you a super awkward blowjob. Then you spit into my cornea. Remember? No? Okay. Okay. No. All right. But even the producers are like, wait, I'm sorry, ma'am. Are you? Oh, you are on the show.

Your primary cast. We're so sorry. Okay. Can someone mic her? She's so forgettable this Lauren, I feel bad for her. She's like, NFL service industry. So then the belly dancer comes out and the women tribe are like, yay! And then Sandy, I was like, there's nothing that indicates there's a mermaid situation. There's no tail, nothing's green. You're just an idiot. This walk monster who can suddenly walk. Do you know what a mermaid is? Have you even heard of a mermaid? And then Sandy is off in the corner with Hannah.

She's like, yeah, I work for an Arab and he took me to the middle of the desert and there were belly dancers there. And let me tell you something, those belly dancers got in the heat hours to sleep each one of them. I can tell. There's nothing that can make you swing your hips to the front and back that precisely without a nap first. You know what I like about an Arab chic?

It's like they're already wearing their bed sheets. They could just nap anywhere. It's just so sunny over there all the time. It's just hard to find a nap. That's why they're always so angry. Jesus, guys. So Hannah, for some reason, Hannah takes this Middle East story and she takes it totally the wrong way. And she goes, I'm wondering when she's going to realize I'm good at my job. What the hell did she say? Geez, sorry she went to the goal. So then Lauren starts flirting with Adam because she's like, well, I guess maybe someone

will pay attention to me. So she's flirting with Adam and she's like, hee hee. Oh God, they're flirting. God, Adam's so lame. He's such a van liver, by the way. He's like such a homeless guy in a van Everyone thinks it's cute until they see him in his van. It's like, why does it smell like butt?

But she's like, hi, what's the dinner? And he's like, well, I was thinking of getting a tattoo. I love tattoos Yeah, I was thinking of getting my grandpa my butt and she's like, he's such a good florter but and she's like, he's such a good flutter. She good flutter. I wish his name was Frank, so he could be called Frank Flutter. Frank and Flutter. So Bucsy and Wes are in the captain quarters because this captain is like busy, you know, like putting W 40 on the door hinges or whatever.

So she's like, Wes's, go up there, don't take a nap all you're up there. There's a time for nap and there's a time for looking at screens. So he's up there and he's like, I'm looking at screens because someone's gonna be there. That's what I'm trying for, Mr. Reloable. And Bugs, he's like, yes, we're not like wheeze

because we know each other from university. I don't know why you're here for that voice, but I just felt like just committing to it. We're not really love that. We're supposed to be serious and on serious. The way we looked at that screen together, we saw little red dot going, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop together. Very serious. Oh, remind me that maybe someday I can stack some plates without having someone yield at me. So then we get some more pro flirting when everybody saying goodnight for the nights. Right.

Bobby psych. Hey, goodnight, Malia. Is it a good night? Is it good, Malia? Yes, good night. That goes hot. Got her because their bedrooms are across the hall from each other. And Bobby, Bobby is with Max and Malia is with Lauren. And Bobby tells us he's like, he's like really worried that Lauren's gonna basically poison the well against Malia. He's like, you know, because there's girls on the doors, there's all bickering and I'm bickering and dickering and dead. I was like, you're so condescending. You know girls, girl talk. Good.

I'm like what do you think you were doing with Max? You think we didn't see you, you didn't see you last night talking about Malyetta Max? You think you don't do the same thing? Stop being condescending. He walks around gossiping to everybody. Yeah, let's try and steal that girl. She always does this.

If a girl really liked you, that wouldn't be a problem, Bobby. And you know, if she didn't warn someone that there was a giant gaping pot hole ahead, they'd crash their car and that wouldn't be very nice of her. Okay. It's called friendship. Yeah. So, now we have another scene of Adam being addicted to bugs. She comes and she asks something like, we do you want me to put this?

Like something so benign. He's like, too many questions right now, stupid face. It's like gross. And then he's like, I think with Buzzy, it's like she's always been like a number one, but she doesn't know how to be a number two stupid little girl. She's just like, deep. And then he turns it right around

to float with Malia on the deck. And she's like, ew, don't come close to me. I smell like gasoline. And he goes, I love that smell. She goes, yeah, that guy's kind of cute, but he needs some help on the templates. Yeah, gas. Fucking, that smell. So then elsewhere, Max is talking about, I think he's talking to Malia, Max is talking to Malia and Max is talking about, I think he's talking to Malia. Max is talking to Malia and Max is

talking to his girlfriend that he has. And he's like, you need on there the hat a girlfriend and then she came along and bled me. And you're like, what? And then that's like a scene. And because of that, he's like, he blew me. She blew me. She blew me out of the water. I was like, you producers are so shady. So shady. She blew me out of the water. I was like you producers are so shady so shady Bobby having Malion tech makes the day more enjoyable seeing a pretty face And then it breakfast. Oh, yeah, this is where a bugsy's like Shift can we use the pinball to organize things and he's like too many questions who cares? Oh all those stressful pinboard questions.

But at least Bugsie's learning. She walks away and she goes, dick. Yeah. So the cap is the worst. The Captain and Shackles celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle and we're the host of Wonder

's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Why did I put that?

She's like, all right, shackles. The first shackle goes here, watch the colors. I don't want head, oversight, put your head in the hole. And that's what Max does. He's like, she jumps in. He jumps in when she says, put your head in. And no, bud. Shackles, sleep and shackles. That's all I want.

Sleeping shackles. OK, in orange is orange and red is red. Don't confuse them. OK, get some good rest. The only guy I want to see is your eyes. Hey, dear Africa. Who do you who do you? La la la click click click is the captain you enjoy in your lunch.

I once went to Africa. Yeah, I was with the captain and we went that we saw some puffins down on the Southern Cape. You ever see a puffin gorgeous gorgeous bird. All right, guys have a great lunch. I was with a Persian from the Middle East in Africa. Now. How's that for a how's that for a riddle Let me tell you something lunch. I don't know I took the nap Let me tell you something ladies. I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me true story

Some Malian Max are folding laundry and he's like what you think a ball some Malian Maxxer folding laundry and he's like, what do you think of ball bat? And says he's the top. I know lots about, little bird, little bird, little bird, blowing. And she's like wet. And that's when, you know, the romance starts to bloom. And so Hannah and Bugsy, so Bugsy comes up to Hannah. She's like, I'd like to talk to human resources about the ship. All I was asking was about pinball, because I really love organization. And they yelled at me about Steck and Mother Drona

onto an anchor and dropping myself into the middle of the sea until I drowned. And I was like, here's something you have to remember about a lot of chefs. They're just childs, they're children, they're just stupid immature boys. You just have to remember that. You just have to spank them a little bit and flare a little bit. That's yet to remember to do.

All right, see you later and bugs is like, hmm, why should I have to flirt with this asshole Hinner. If I were chiefs, do I would address issues with the chief? Uh, Hannah's just like, look, here's how you deal with the chief, here's how you deal with the shift. Hannah's just like, look, here's how you deal with the chief. Here's how you deal with the shift. If it gets moody, stop flirting with him. And then once he stops following and love with him, never stop staring at him. It'll make him really uncomfortable. Then the whole time he'll yell at you for no reason. And you can have a sexual harassment suit me about a pocket if you ever need it.

Just remember, if you need to put a shift in his place, you call an entree a main and a starter an appetizer or the other way around. Just whatever he calls a call the other thing, you'll hate that. So the captain calls everybody, she's like, all right, guys, we've got a few flakles what are those things uh I don't know shackles for the shackles where she's like we got the shackles all right guys been up here working on the shackles red yellow blue green orange orange orange orange is different than red all right that's been the the announcement for the day everyone

come up here and get your pictures with the guests. Don't get dirty, guys. Do not get dirty. Everyone in your whites, get in your whites, get your ties on, and then Sandy walks up and Hannah's making some martinias or something of margaritas, spicy margaritas. And Sandy finds Hannah's like, what'd you get changed already?

What'd you get changed? Because I want to just get this over, we'd get this picture, so get changed Hannah because we need to take this picture. She's like, well, I finished the cocktails, I saw it because I just said I'd make them cocktails. She's like, you know, have Lauren do it.

She's nice and she's pretty, I don't think she's on this show. I think she can help out a lot. You just get changed and you can see Hannah's like, yes, mother, yes, mother. Hey Hannah, do not forget I love that banana All right get changed

And the captain tells us that Hannah is used to being in charge of her life and now I'm in charge It's not a democracy. We're a team and you gotta listen to your coach a grouchy sleepy little baby. You know, I call it an apocracy as in moral equal if you've all taken apps, all right? We all want to be in the same sleep schedule, all right? Hey, you know that Teddy bear in Hannah's room. It's a nanny cam and watch in her. I'm telling her through her speaker, Hannah, put your thumb in your mouth and close your eyes. Do it. All right. You know what? She's got a little cranky and you know what cranky girls need? A nap.

She's even bossing around the tribe. There are upstairs like, Oh my God, pictures. We're on the ball. This is so tribal. And she's like, come on, come on, guys. We're going to lose the visual. All right. All right, girls.

All right. Juice boxes after this. Okay. Get together for the picture while they're still a mountain the background Okay, Cal Caprice said not Capri nighttime So while Lauren is downstairs doing who knows what there's something that's crash and then there's glass and there's blood It's like don't don't Well before we hadn't mentioned but before there's an escape patch that's in the girls room.

It's in the girls bathroom and they can't get it closed. They can't get the door closed or something. It's falling out. And I think Wiz is the one who or Wiz is, isn't it? Yeah, I think it was Wiz who fixed it. Yeah, it's like, I'll fix it because of course it's in the girls room. The girls got to escape the maze. And now we hear crash and then the pretty girl, Malia is like in their covered in blood.

Because basically the escape hatch became dislodged again and crash through the shower door and all this glass broke on Malia. And like you see Malia and she's like bloody and it's glass all around and they cut to these idiots up top and they're like, I mean, it was just a dream vacation. This was so amazing. I've never had a day like this with our tribe. You guys were so much more tribal now. And then below, they're like, oh my god.

It's like carry downstairs. Emily has been so sexually harassed that she's exploded the the the sourdough with a mind. So Bobby jumps into fireman mode, which I actually do believe. And he goes in, because he's EMT trained, et cetera. And starts taking out the shards and faking this stuff. And he's doing all this stuff. And again, that cuts the women upstairs.

And they're like, this was so much fun. Thanks for coming, guys. Tribe, tribe, tribe were white. And then Bobby is like, they get a lot of stuff out. But then Malia is going to go take a shower to wash off the rest of the glass. And the Bobby wants to do some last thing. So Bobby says, Hey, Malia, you know, can you get decent so I can like check you out.

So then Hannah goes to Malia in the shower and is like, Bobby wants to check you out. She wants to see a naked bulldy. And Malia is like,, nice try, Bobbi. Because Bobbi's being so ridiculous. He's like, I'm an EMT. Everybody move. Everybody move. Get the hose. I'm an EMT.

I got this. I got this. Mlee, I need to get to see you. And Hannah's like, you're not going in there. She's naked. And he goes, I've seen naked people before Hannah. Guess what? I'm more medically trained than you

Fucking idiot You're fireman. So she goes in there. She's like Malia He wants to come in here and she goes tell him nice try so Hannah goes she said nice Troy boby He's like have dare you Hannah cut blocker Well, it's well there was like some miscommun miscommunication because he did say like when you're decent, I'm gonna check you out. And then they made it sound like he wanted to check her out while she was naked.

And he was like, no, I never said that. And I'm not trying to defend Bobby here, but in this case, he was just like, no, make sure you're decent. I said, make sure you're decent. And then, but then he starts being a really aggro to Hannah about it being like, I didn't say that. Oh, I'm a fireman. And you're like, okay, Bobby, I was on your side, but now you're being ridiculous.

Yeah, and she was just repeating what Malia said, because Malia was kidding. She's like, my, try, dude. So she just repeated it, but he gets mad at Hannah, because he's sure that Hannah's going to ruin this form. And then he doesn't get laid. It's all Hannah's fault, you know? Yeah, exactly. It's not your fault, Bobby.

No, not your fault. It's Hannah's fault. The cock blocker. Let me tell you something. If you were a catch, exactly is not your fault Bobby. No, not your fault. It's Hannah's fault the cock blocker Let me tell you something if you were a catch a cock blocker would be ineffective Yeah, and Hannah says well for him to blow up like this is Halburn resentment for something and he can yell Oh, he wants but he's not getting in there with her naked and he's like after last season we kissed And it's like she marked her territory and no one else can have me. Like, oh, it sounds familiar, Bobby. Marking territory.

So, Bobby, the one that everybody needs in their life, was Bobby. No, Bobby wasn't the one last season who started crying because the hair model made fun of his bad tattoos, right? The hair model. Remember, wasn't that Trevor the hair model or was that on the breaking, right? The hair model. Remember, was that Trevor the hair model or was that on the break of the low deck? No, that was really blow deck. That was me.

That was that was um, hair model. Trevor was. And it was Nico Trevor and Nico. Sorry, confusing my mates. Hard. Yeah. So anyway, the this crisis has averted as time for everyone to get off the boat. And then it's like tip time

Time to get their tips because the women all leave and like thanks So they have the tip meeting and Have a female cop drinker girl power tribal lips marker triangles. Thanks guys, hugs Tribe so Yes, they have the tip meeting and I think Sandy said something past the rest about shackles here. And she said, I'm going to. I forget what she said.

Guys, uh, your work hard, but we came across some issues and I want to be a pro. Now, the anchor account, a shackle is X meters. If a shackle is going down a train track at 90 meters and you're divided by three meters and three is why what's the shackle color? Bobby's like, oh, math. It didn't teach me this in the EMT class. We already has his hands up. He's like, I got the Insta-sah, ma'am. So then, banana.

That's right, I love a banana. So, next time, where are tips for the day? 19 million Kouna. Just $15 so. Which is like there was a good joke ma'am. I haven't laughed their hearts since I saw a bugsy fall on her butt at university. I may not know what I'm doing, but I'll overcome the joke. So, so Sandex uses everyone, she's like, ah, Hannah, I'd like to see you upstairs in the

break. We in line like a talk to you about something, it's gonna be serious and you should get ready for it. And he was like, oh God, what now? What if I don't know? It's like being called into the principal's office. So it's like, dun dun dun dun dun. We go to commercial, like, oh my God,

what's it gonna be? When it comes back, Sandy's like, you know what, young lady, in order to run a crew, you need to have respect, and you need to have leadership, okay? And let me tell you something, You got both and you're elegant. You got elegance. Give yourself credit because you perform an amazing service and I'm impressed. Not one I bugger amongst your eyes.

Which is amazing because we both have the same eyes. You know what? I respect someone with the same eyes as me. You know what? I thought that banana was amazing, but I was wrong because it was you who was amazing all along, okay? And it's like I don't know what the football is woman's talking about but I'll take it Clean up everybody cleans and blah blah blah clean clean clean clean clean clean and then they're all gonna go out and they're like Wiz are you going out? He's like, sorry mate, I'm on watch, brew. The captain's tucking them all at to dinner, so I'm gonna be a rebel and stay here

and watch a little dot, got bloop, bloop, bloop. Sometimes I like to pretend a little dot is your giant octopus in the ocean, isn't that crazy? I have so much fun here, I do have furml, but I still have so much fun. Yeah, I've got this terrible thing I suffer from called FOMO means fear of missing out. Oh, you may think I'm having fear of missing out on going to the club, but no, I'm really having fear of missing out on dad and mom going to the asking for it's not because I know

they'd like to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that.

I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. I was both rolling my eyes, but I actually did think that was sort of a surf cute, which is in there my homies. That was cute. But it still was ridiculous. I'm a hopeless romantic, which means he doesn't even care about your personality or anything about you as long as you're the youngest, hottest one in front of him.

Yeah, exactly. So romantic, Bobby. So they all go out to there. They're all sitting at the table and Sandy's like, so you know, the thing is about Brainsini is that it's a well-rested fish. It tastes delicious. It's long like a banana. And I used to eat it all the time with my girlfriend and I was like, what?

I can't believe, I can't believe, I'm Sandy. I was like, who did you think? Well, you know, I'm not I'm not about the Jane as her penis is or boobies or pecs I am about that person. I'm about the soul They're like uh, what's what does that mean? What it means is that when I look for it and girl she can't be she can't be nasty She can't be rude. You know what she can be though? Good napper. Someone was the male against elegance at nap time. And so Hannah's like, well, I like souls too. She goes, do you got a boyfriend? And she said, no, and Captain Gus, I'm out.

Okay. Good talk. Listen, I'll leave a recipe for Branzini on your pillow, Hannah. You cook that up for a man and I'll tell you one thing. You're going to be having a nap for two if you know what I'm saying So captain Sandy leaves and then all of a sudden surprise twist guess who shows up. It's We're like hello one thing I knew that this dinner was missing Ross Geller hair But now here's here was like the surprise part and actually the thing that I loved was that Malia turns so I think to Bugsy and she's like, oh my god, he is so hot.

Oh, he's so like gentlemanly. I was like, I love that with all these guys, you know, fumbling over Malia that she loves, you know, whiz. Yeah, the one. The sweet, dorky guy. Yeah. And also, you know, girls who were just hit on all the time because they're pretty by fucking losers, they don't find it attractive. They just feel like a piece of meat, nothing, you know? And then when there's like a like a cute guy with an actual job and career that

is paying attention to them, shocker, It's actually hotter. Who knew guys? Yeah. So Bobby and the chef are just giving each other looks like, oh, shit. Oh, no, we can't compete with that. You can't unwork out. Actually, you can very easily. Not that quickly though. It takes a while. Yeah. So everyone's just getting drunker and drunker at the club, shots, and drinking, et cetera, et cetera. And then next to me, no Hannah and Mali are dancing. And now Hannah's moving in, but Mali is pretty receptive because Mali is like, I like your boobs. They're like fish, kind of like my homies.

You're the most adorable thing in the world as Mali grabs her boobs. She's like, these are beautiful. Because Obi-Lawke you big sister, I like to play with pretty things and then they start kind of kissing. They're all over each other and they just shows Bobby totally graced out. Yeah, it's like his gums.

It's like his gums are hanging out and he's like, Hannah has a wrap whizzling in. In New York she told Boorne to stay away from me. I'm like, yeah, so it's her fault that you're being a total dick to someone you've already bowed. You're an ass. Besides you said that you and Lauren still dated four months after Hannah, that moment with Hannah. So you really can't hold Hannah responsible for that. But you had four months with her after that. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So, so then so Bobby's getting nervous that Hannah's going to

cock block, which is really, you know, he has to realize that he's his own cock block. And that everyone's drunk, drunk, drunk, and they're walking back to the yacht. And and Bobby is is holding Malia doing like the fireman thing sort of like the bodyguard hold. And the Adam's like, Oh, dude, I'm so jealous. This isn't fair. This isn't fair. Wait, wait, let me get some of that. And then he takes Malia and he's holding her. And I was like, oh dude, I'm so jealous, this isn't fair, this isn't fair, wait wait, let me get some of that. And then he takes Malia and he's holding her. And I was like, I mean, this was so obnoxious to me. This was truly an objectification of her,

like passing around. Like she's a bag of two. Literally passing her around. And then the chef like plants a kiss on her, while he's holding her and she can't go away. Yeah. And you know what bothers me is that we saw in the trailer for the season that, you know, Malia, it looks like she hooks up with everyone and she's like, if I want

to fuck everyone, it's my choice. And they're like, she's the slut. I'm like, you know what? You guys are passing her around, you know, you guys were the ones who are objectifying her and she just, and she basically calls your bluff by sleeping with you all. And now you're mad at her. No, shut up. Exactly. So she, well, I'm really starting to like whizz and bugs, because they're just playing and running around and not paying attention to anything. Like, being nice. The guys are like, how can we bone that? How can we slip a pill into that girl's drink? So she's drunk enough to let us go. And then Hannah and Malia are running around flirting with each other. And so Hannah stops her before they go on the boat.

And I love drunk crazy Hannah, because we get to see it every season and she really does get unhinged. But yes, she stops and she's like, I just want to tell you, I don't want Bobby to make young comfortable and I wasn't going to let him into that shower with you naked. And Lingus, yeah, I know you made me feel safe. And then because you felt siphoned with me. And she goes, I'd be naked with you any day. And then Hanukkah's alright, strip. Nah. I was like, this is weird.

Lock word. But then they start kissing and hugging and stuff. And Bobby is watching. And Molly was like, I was like, I would motorboat you. You know, I love motorboating with my helmeys. And then she did. She starts motorboating. And then they cut to Bobby on the boat and he's telling the guys He's like look at Hannah she's throwing me under the bus sure. That's what she always does now

She's telling me to stay away from me. I mean that which Now she's telling me all my passwords. Oh my god. Now she's trying to break into my bank. Oh Oh god, There she goes. Give him away my safari keychain again. It's like gum gum. Bobby needs to learn from Kelly. You know, if Kelly were there from regular blow deck, Kelly would just look sort of like sad puppy dog and like just like his eyebrows would go up and he'd get like a little frustrated and smoke an angry cigarette and he would just look so hot. But Bobby is like, oh, yeah, Kelly would do what any truly emo man should do. He would go do pushups.

Mm-hmm. I need probably say something obnoxious to someone. But then you'd be like, oh, it's okay. It's Kelly. He's just frustrated. And look how sweet he is. The Bobby is just like a knock. Yeah.

It's not throwing you under the bus. Hannah wants to get laid too. Why should the boys be the only ones trying to bag the hot girl. Fuck off. So Hannah, it goes to the bathroom and because she, because they're on the boat now and Hannah and Mollia are still just being like drunk and flirty. It's almost hard to figure out what they're talking about. It's like motorbed ain't drunk, man, get safety. And Hannah goes into the bathroom. And then Mollia's drunk and Bobby's like, so what was Hannah saying to you? What was Hannah saying to you?

Which is really obnoxious question. It's none of your business. And like, she doesn't literally wait for Hannah to go into the bathroom. Like he waits for it to go and then Malia's waiting for her and then he attacks. You know, and so Malia just makes a joke. I read to me like a joke.

She goes, oh yeah, a lot of Bob, Bobby's secrets are in there as in the bathroom and Bobby's like, what the fuck? So he goes and he bursts into the bathroom where Hannah is peeing, which is so like, it's not just aggro, that's like male aggression, that's like a threat, that's like, that's like a violation if you ask me.

Yeah, he's just gross. And she's like, can I finish paying? Emily is laughing. She's like, there's no alarm going on right now. Like they're always did. And then Bobby throws a temper tantrum. He's like, don't fucking talk to me. I know what you did. And you do it all the time. And you cock back me and you say, Bubby's not worth it. And you did it in New York. And you want to even remember tomorrow because you're an going to let it go. She's like, I've got better things to do than worry about a steroid blowup doll. I have to cook the captain's brins lady tomorrow as a test of a friendship, okay? That's what I'm worried about. She goes, you're being a little aggressive Bobby and he's

like, I'm diffusing the situation. Yeah, it sounds like a huge amount of diffusions happening right now. So real quick, let me, because that was the end, but let me tell you, they went on, watch what happens last week. Oh, yeah, we should be talking about that. I saw one of the clips, yeah. I only saw the clips to you. People with these things. This is Bobby and Hannah, you should admit.

Yeah, they're the guests on, watch what happens. And they showed this clip from this week. And Bobby starts ripping into Hannah. And he's like, yeah, you are jealous. And you've always wanted me. What about when you came up to me and said, let me just fuck you for the night? What about that?

And he starts trying to sluts shame Hannah. And instead of getting slutshamed, she's like, please, you're a steroid piece of shit. Like who would want to get in your pants? And it was so good. She just basically shot him down. It would not be slut-shamed. And you know what? Good for you, girl. Yeah. And they were fighting. And I think everyone was like on her side. He made a, you made a fool of himself. Basically, it was, it was awkward. Yeah. And she started making fun of him

because she's like oh please he's so desperate he's sending Instagram messages to fans that he thinks are hot to bring them to the set today so he can fuck them and he's like you're deep you're bringing Instagram DMs to the set really and he's like, well, he was trying to get the audience involved. He was gross. It was that's where my Bobby Hatred came from right in the beginning of the set, because I had already seen that. So over it. Well, he has a bit of entitlement that because I like you there for having to like me back,

we saw it last season with Julia, Julia Tupousi. Well, you can work out all you want. Unfortunately, you can't work out your face. Oh snap. But he had a good body at least. Um, so that was this week's below deck med. Why don't we move on to our crap ins listener spotlight? Let's do it. This is, of course, the moment of the week where we turn the podcast over to the listeners, where people who support us at the listener spotlight level on Patreon get their own two minutes of time here on the podcast. This week, we are hearing from someone named JLo.

Yeah. JLo, love, say to blue. Here she is. Hello boys, this is J-Lo and I am recording my audio sound for you both so you can maybe play it on listener's spot like, you boys bring infinite joy to me pretty much every day now since you've gone five days a week. You make me laugh so hard sometimes that my sides hurt. Sometimes I disagree with some of the things or assessments you all give, you both give, but that's okay because I still laugh and even when I disagree with some of the

things, which isn't very often I will say I don't really care. I don't really watch bravo anymore because my husband has always hated it and since I discovered crap ins I don't really need to watch it anymore because I can just listen to you guys. I get all that I need for my entertainment bravo wise from you guys. I do however still watch below deck because I love Kate. She's my queen. I absolutely love her. So that's pretty much the only show I really watch anymore. But I really do love to listen to you guys recap that one as well. I'm a stay at home home, got two beautiful kids, pretty Martha Stewardy, make all kinds of fun things for their schools and activities and bake sales and otherwise have some pets and have a husband as I mentioned

who hates Bravo and always has. Not much else to talk about. For me, you boys are great. I absolutely love you and please never stop being you. I look forward to listening to you pretty much every day. I'm behind right now. Catching up is pretty fun. Makes my days even better because I get to listen up a lot. See you too.

Take care and thanks for letting me talk. Bye. Oh, thanks, JLo. Oh, thanks so much. We appreciate that. So great. It's really cool just to hear from everyone. So if you want also be on listener's file,

I just go to patreon.com slash watch what happens. Find all the info there. And until then until the next one, we're gonna call it a show and we'll be back tomorrow to talk some real housewives of New York City. Yes, can't wait. We will see you guys then. Thanks a lot. And thank you, J.Lo. Thanks, J.Lo. Talk later. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

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