Watch What Crappens - #454 RHOP: Everything to Every Juan
Episode Date: May 12, 2017Robyn gets a "Juantervention," Ashley gets a Sha-Sha freak-out, and Karen gets a "realty" check. It's all par for the course on Real Housewives of Potomac. Come listen to us break it all do...wn, and afterwards, stay tuned for Crappens Mailbag!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on bravo.
I'm Ben Madelker from BSIBlog.com and the Vanderblander podcast and joining me as usual is the hilarious and super funny and super
champagne room wanting but perhaps we'll never have Ronnie Karen from Treshdog TV
and the Rose for Spatial Podcast. That's right I just killed your dream I created it
and then I killed it. Hi everybody I need a hamburger room or like a dominoes room
for some pizza. I don't need a fucking champagne room
That tastes bad and it makes your breath stink really bad. Yeah, no the reason why I said you'll never have one is because I know you are too smart to have one
Oh, they you yeah, that's right. We're talking about real house as a Potomac today as is our god given right and
Potomac today as is our God given right and
It's what's in the Constitution y'all. It's what's in the Constitution But you know, though before we get into Potomac
You know what this weekend is a very special weekend as it happens to be Mother's Day weekend and
We have to give a little special
Special Mother's Day weekend and we have to give a little special special Mother's Day love to Liz from Newmarket, Ontario and her son Lil Pudgy.
We're gonna give you guys...
Did my mom write this?
Yes.
Yes. Yes.
Liz from Newmarket Ontario, I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day.
This is coming from Lil Pudgy.
This is coming from inside his brain.
This is coming from Big Pudgy.
Big Pudgy.
And never Pudgy, Bann.
Yeah, actually it's really coming from your husband Jacob who is sweet and he really, really,
really wanted you to know how much you are the best.
Hey, while we're at it, thanks to our own moms and thanks to all the moms out there because you
created people. Yeah. And also you put up with all sorts of our shit no matter what. And even those
moms out there who are not our moms, you do the same with us. When we do anything bad
or really hurt too out of line, you very sweetly and encouragingly tell us to get our shit
together and you know what, thank you.
Yeah, thank you. And thank you for not naming all of us little Pudgy by the way
Thank you for sparing us that shame so Oh, could we do have a lot of moms we listen so we all we respect you and
Thank you because you're awesome
Yeah, thanks you guys keep it up keep mothering keep mothering
Thanks you guys. Keep it up. Keep mothering. Keep mothering. Mothering. Now speaking of moms,
shall we move on to some real housewives of Epidermy?
Oh, please, please. Let's just let's move on right on over into them.
Yeah, girl, you know I love a driveway fight.
Yeah.
Which only this show can pull off.
And we open this episode back in the driveway
with Jacelle saying like normal, Jacelle already got kicked out of
this party. Yeah and I love when Jacelle starts talking about Jacelle and the third person which we
just watched Atlanta and there's a lot of first person, third person this and that. And so I like
that Jacelle is kind of continuing the theme. Yes. Through the next hour. She's good with that.
And while because as you may remember, Jizelle was kicked out because she was being
Obnoxious and Monique's house because we're still at the spade
Of course her version is well, I was waiting for Monique to leave and you know
I mentioned that she's long-winded because she is long-winded and she got offended
Believe it just just happened to say that
Karen meanwhile is back at the spade table. She's not picking it. She doesn't care The thing did you believe it just just happened to say that um
Karen meanwhile is back at the space table she's not picking it she doesn't care she's like dramas beneath me sort of like
the Linolian on my floors
Sort of like this wrought iron chair that is literally beneath my butt that I might drag into the garage later to lean back in
and tell you all about how drama's been eaten.
Um, drama is beneath me sort of like how tube TVs
are beneath flat screen TVs in public acceptance.
So Monique comes out to the driveway and she's like,
what's going on?
We are waiting for you.
We are trying to play cards.
And Ashley's like, well, we were just saying, I did just, what's really going on?
I don't do this BS.
And they're like, well, you're making her leave.
And she says, I didn't want her to leave.
But she's just talking trash and it's not cool to me.
And Ashley says that basically, Jizelle's like a new puppy, you know, you have to yell at
it and teach it not to pee on the furniture, but then you still have to love it later to
which I say, no, you don't.
If that thing doesn't learn it three months, you put it down and get another one.
Okay.
Called a broken puppy.
This is why I'm a cat one. Okay. Call the broken puppy. This is why I'm a cat person.
Okay.
That's why I want, I want something that automatically
knows where to pee and shit.
All right.
You know, that's true actually.
Jezele is like a cat.
No matter what, she's gonna give you shit
and then shit inside all the time.
You know she's gonna do it when you bring her over to you.
I guess that's why I like Jezele so much.
So then though, the crazy, the oddest thing about this is that my niece like, listen,
I'm not going to beg someone to stay.
I'm like, beg someone to stay.
You're the one who kicked her out.
It's not like she's making some stand like, I'm going to leave this party.
No, you kicked her out.
Of course you're not going to beg her to stay.
I did like that she said, you know, you act so snottie around me and like I owe you something.
You've got your walls up, which is very housewives.
It's like you got your walls up and I don't have to prove myself to you.
You seem totally uninterested.
So if you want to come in and have fun, fine, but if you want to be a snottie bitch, don't.
She's like, that's why I'm getting in the car.
It's like, I just get it.
She's like, hmm, have fun or be a snotty bitch.
I'll be the snotty bitch, I like that.
Cat, horse, pony, all these girls, always, Monique's like,
she's just jealous.
Yeah, always, yes.
Which is true.
Well, cause just all cats stop mentioning her money
and her money and her money and her house and her money
and all this
stuff that's true so just that leaves and spacked a spade it's like fun time with spades Chris is all like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh? Oh, oh, oh, oh.
So, uh, so that's fun times, fun times, fun times.
But then Ash is like,
Keerun, I want to talk to you about Rambian.
And she's like,
All right, Mr. Black Bill Gates,
we have to go sit over here for the way to talk about this.
So they go and...
We're going to talk about the leak in
Black Windows 10 will be right over there
We're gonna be playing some mind sweeper
By sweeping the lads
Away from the minefield. I'll be sure to tell all the girls to use black-haffy virus scanner
I'm sorry Ray, but the paperclip is trying to talk to me. I have some tips, apparently, about my wood processing.
Oh, so...
Would you like to save now, Ray?
Be good time to.
It starts with Ash and Karen alone.
And she's like, well, this drama's beneath me, girl.
I've been dating my boo.
And Cherice is like, hey, it's me, this being those.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
That's it.
That's it.
We'll ever come on the hoverboard, but the steps here.
Yeah.
Also, I broke it.
I thought you was the baseball bat.
I made a hand to cap rope. I had to cap ramp.
Thoth I ramp.
I need a Thoth I ramp.
Some days I'm three. So I take the fairs. Some days I'm soft on. Take a ramp.
And Ashley, not, you know, ever learning is like, well,
I was just saying that I'm worried
because I hear that one is seeing
got their people and braving doesn't don't,
he's just gonna be a doormat.
And Karen's like,
word on the street.
First of all, Potomac is small.
And the word on the street is a cold sack.
So the word can be on the street
and then it starts going in circles and circles and you just say leave my man
Mr. Mailman and leave but they don't
Well word on the street is hump because there's a hump you have to drive over and they write hump on there
So where you know how about the street is slow children
Word on the street is railroad crossing stop here. Word on
the street is black bill gates crossing. Word I don't know what else was written
on the street. Word on the street is 405 this late 110 on this late. Cross your own
walk. Word on the street. So yeah, so Ash is like
And so then Robin comes and joins
And she's like
And Robin's like, well, we're not in a relationship. It's okay
So yeah, and then Robin says
If one weren't here, I might just clock that,
bitch, am I please?
You could have clocked her in front of Juan.
You're on a reality show.
You're supposed to clock her in front of Juan.
Actually, you should clock her in front of Juan.
He might gross some respect for you.
Yeah, exactly.
A week ass.
Yeah.
So Teresa's like, well, what the fuck is that we here in a pod?
What the fuck is that?
We're on the dev the, have a fight.
And as he tells us,
well, she says they're working on things,
but now she's saying she doesn't care if he has girl fans.
And I don't get it.
Well, she's happy and then you should be happy
and the nation goes.
But look, cha-cha, you lived in a relationship for a long time
and that wasn't happy. Now you're crying all all the time and sometimes other people can see it and
you don't which is very true and she wasn't saying it is a diss but yeah she
said like you know you should you know I'm seeing things and you know
usually hear them out and she's like maybe I should focus on your marriage
that old gay guy, then my marriage
is the people who don't like us.
Yeah, pretty much.
I mean, the difference here is that
Saris stayed because her husband has money
and she has more power in the neighborhood
because she's married to a famous guy.
So she's in all these charities
and she's got all this money in a big house.
So she's also attached to that stuff.
Whereas Robins, just with a poor man, she's just attached to that stuff, whereas Robyn's just with a poor man.
She's just attached to him out of love
from being a 16-year-old hot man.
Hotness, yeah, hotness.
Well, I mean, the difference, though, is also,
it's actually not as simple as that,
because Shreece was in a marriage.
And so she stayed in it because she was paralyzed
and didn't want to go through divorce.
And you know, that happens in life.
But Robyn's already gone through the hard part.
She's already divorced.
So it's, it is weird that they're still together.
I mean, because she clearly, my theory is this, which I probably have made this theory every
single week, but I can't remember anything from day to day.
But Robyn is still in love with Juan.
But like in her mind, she knows, he cheated on her and she knows that she
knows that she should have more self respect than to go back to the man who
cheated on her, but she's in love with him. So she's trapped. So she doesn't want to look like a fool,
but she also doesn't want to leave this guy. She just really loves.
True. And also I have to just add the difference when I say the difference is she was with a man with
money. That's the difference for me. That's why it's easier for me to explain. I see what she's getting out of it, you know.
But Robin, I don't there's nothing she's getting out of it. I mean, the guy's not even at my store.
But here's the thing that I'm here's yeah, well occasionally. I mean, who knows. But
you know, maybe tonight, you know, she'd like irons or hair every night
and is like, well, that was a waste,
but not really because my hair's ironed.
Like she's always trying to make it positive.
But here's the thing I'm confused about.
She said last season,
why not cheat it on me?
We divorced.
I decided that since we're going through money trouble and because I still love the guy and because we're still best friends
That we can still live together and have a relationship. We sleep in the same bed
I know it's weird to other people
But maybe one day it'll work out and maybe it won't but now everybody's acting like what do you mean?
You're still living with him, but you're not you already know this. Did you guys watch the first season?
Yeah, yeah
Well, it's just me as they're talking about this Monique walks up and she's basically like we don't do this at a party Let's go everyone start dancing so they all start dancing like this is what you're gonna get fired off the show
You don't you know if a fight is percolating you don't make it go away and have everyone dance
You jump in and just take it to the next level This is what you need to do but this is so the community theater show on Bravo because everybody gets up
It immediately starts dancing and there ain't no music
Oh, yeah, these people will just say watermelon cucumber pork you pine or whatever if they have to be in the background
Like they'll take any kind of direction to just like keep our jobs. Yeah
And then Robin does I'm sorry. I just have add that. Robin does the typical thing where she's like,
well, I don't know what her problem is,
but she's probably jealous and wants one's dick.
OK.
Yeah.
Probably.
So then the next day, Karen and Ray go to the realtor,
because they're trying to sell their house.
And it was originally on the market for two million,
but now it's dropped all the way down to less than 1.8
And Karen's wearing
Karen is wearing some hat. She's like
Actually speaking of black-affee virus software. She's like the little detective guy who pops up on virus scanners
It's like scanning y'all compute apple clues. What are you doing? You're from realtors. I don't know who that is, but I
like the idea that Karen might be scanning for viruses on your hard drive. We are
currently looking at your CPU. You might want to empty the cash from your
AOL account. It's been build up over time. This hard drive is a very small hard drive.
Everyone knows everyone about the viruses.
She says,
we're at a strong real estate agent's office.
And I need a strong real estate agent to sell my home.
My house is the best thing since China was invented.
I thought, what sort of China was this we're talking about
Fisher place are talking about plates or China both
Happened twice yeah, this is better than when Ming Chaoling took office the 1800s
It's the best thing since the Ming Dynasty and I have 400 terracotta soldiers downstairs
too.
And they're all watching the tube TV.
There's nothing quite like a dragon parade.
People often say I'm a firecracker.
I actually have firecrackers in my home.
She goes, well, you know, look, the house has been on the market for a while, and now
we're starting to get the bottom feeders.
She goes, well, don't bring them to my house.
I won't get out of bed for that.
Quite frankly, I'm insulted.
I think that's what a lot of the buyers said when they saw your white stove. The buyer who deserves this home should be a classy snooty bitch.
A world Karen we should probably put out like a sign maybe you're having it open.
She's like no, no sign, it's tacky. Absolutely not. If anyone wants to know if my house on sale
I will fax them a reference.
I will Morse code tap this on my counters every day and with someone classy enough to
know Morse hears it, they will come. I am more than happy enough to go to
Myrgles and get as bunch of picture frames and put the listings in there but
there will be no sign. Oh stupid stupid. Well, of course people want to dish-water,
but I have to take Ray with me to the new home.
I don't want neighbors to walk through my home.
No, if people want to see my home, I'll have a dinner.
On China. Yeah. To remind people how amazing this home is.
We have a great machine where you set it and forget it makes divine food.
So she's like hardlining the real estate agent as if the real estate agent is a buyer. Man, it's hilarious to me. So next up is Monique.
Calendez.
Oh, why did I wrote Monique?
Is that right?
Well, what were you gonna say?
It's, I don't know who knows.
Because he's from Calendez.
So yeah, it's Calendez.
Calendez.
Yeah, so Cal, Jacelle and her gay Cal,
I really enjoy Cal.
I think Cal is hilarious.
And he's so cute.
They go to breakfast and
Jacelle is like, how are you? As a good gaze, like, oh, what's not about me? How is Mr.
Jacelle? Well, she just goes on. Yeah, I'm here for you. As always, let's talk to
Jeans. Yeah. She's like, that's why I asked about
Jeans first. She's like, no, you, I mean you. Okay. well, I want my daughters to know that I am a woman and this will not
stand unlike these women living off their men's money. Like, well, that's, you know, this
actually made me happy, which is all because I really do like that attitude. I just don't
like that. She's suddenly judgmental of everybody else, even though she's done it for 50 years.
Yeah, exactly. So she starts testing out her every huge beauty
on Cal on his face.
And she's saying how she's doing this thing
because she wants to retire to a yacht in 10 years.
And she's like, and to all the haters,
if you up the button a major way.
So he needs like, what's wrong with that?
Yeah, like you're talking to a gay guy.
I actually like this because you know, I love girl power. So I was like, she's actually doing it. You know, she's got 12 views. So that's pretty good. Yeah.
Believe it or not. I know it's rare for me to say, but. And then just they'll start making
fun of money. They're like talking about that food. And she was like, well, the players
had no salt or pepper. Yeah. She said, Now, let's talk this party food.
Did you like it?
And he's like, I like the potatoes.
They had no salt and no flavor.
Yeah.
And I went to that party because I'm curious about her 17 homes.
Missive 17 homes.
I mean, this has to be a home that's in architectural digest.
And I just can't wait to see this fantastic thing.
Still waiting.
Yeah, it was pretty obnoxious, but it was still making me laugh.
I was like, go hug your white stove, bitch. Yeah, exactly.
I was like, well, she does have a fish tank in the kitchen.
And they're like, who was a fish tank in the kitchen?
Which I agree with. I think the scar she goes, the only people I know with a fish tank in the
kitchen are scar face or the godfather. I'm like, wow, all richer than you.
Moving along.
Not real people.
So then we go to Shasha, who is gonna go,
I first was like, oh, she's buying prom gowns for her daughter,
but then we find out she's actually buying gowns
for herself, which was sad.
She's at some store run by Lydian Guilda,
and it was just a bunch of nasty old gowns,
and the only reason why they were there
was that they were clearly gonna get one for free
Yes, and you know that this is a town where no reality shows are filmed because Gilda was like oh hello
She's like actually happy to see them there. Yeah, I'm gonna fight breaks out. She's like why they fight in my store
Welcome to being on TV Gilda
Yeah, so Sherees is trying on this flesh-toned.
Oh my god.
It was like a beauty pageant and a figure skater had like a love child and it's shadow
reference on the bottom.
Yeah, a potato sacrae.
Yeah. Uh, because in Potomac, you can never with a thing gown twice.
Okay. You mean you can never wear just twice.
It's gonna be five or six times before.
So there are rules, there are rules at the Potomac red lobster now, please.
Not that I'm gonna be branting out of the NBA, why the filthy acid I've got to bring out
a new crop account.
Heavy heat and there's a monk that I'm let go thopping.
There's a season for charity.
I'm sorry, homeless man, I will not give you a dollar.
It is winter, sir.
Please come back when the season is right.
Yeah. So Ashley comes over and now basically,
Sasha starts telling Ashley that she was insensitive
at the barbecue to Robin and all she does is run her mouth
and all that and Ashley is, you know, shocked.
Yeah, sure.
So I feel like Beyonce and this one.
Oh, please stop if you're Beyonce. Okay.
Well, this train gets, well, this train
get tangled up in my hoverboard.
She's like the Beyonce from the most recent crambies
where Beyonce sits in a chair for five minutes
and this is all you hear.
Tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong.
And you see the audience looking at each other like, what the fuck is she doing?
No, she's not in the only part.
She's the Beyonce from the hamburger helper commercial.
Where the hamburger helper commercial goes and then all of a sudden it ends and Beyonce
comes and goes, I'm Beyonce for hamburger helper.
That's the Beyonce that she is.
Or she's the Beyonce for...
Is it Amazon?
I think it's Amazon, maybe it was eight.
I don't know, maybe some American Express,
whereas like a day in the life of Beyonce,
and then she's in a limousine, they're like,
Beyonce, is there anything else we can get you?
And she goes, yes, a boomerang.
You're like, what?
I would try to get in on this with you,
but I just can't top hamburger helper.
No, that was just no way.
I feel like no one even references that commercial.
I distinctly remember, it's like a hamburger helper commercial with a little glove,
be like, whoa, what's for dinner tonight?
It's hamburger helper!
And it's all like, yay, hamburger helper!
And then it looks like the commercial is over, and then it's like black and white.
It's like, hi, I'm Beyonce for hamburger helper.
And I have partnered with hamburger helper
to bring food for children.
And I was like, this is a strange co-branding situation.
I feel like she's the Beyonce and the elevator with Jay-Z
when so launch comes in and starts beating the shit out
of Jay-Z for cheating on Beyonce.
And Beyonce just stands there and pretends nothing happened.
That's entirely too exciting.
That's entirely too exciting.
I know, but you know at the end of the day
You know at the end of the day so launch got in trouble for that
Beyonce was like you you know you shouldn't get into my business
That is none of your business and hitting my man in an elevator and she's like
Stand up for yourself girl. Why aren't you standing up for yourself?
Suddenly she's not invited to the side yard party, you know. Yeah.
So, um, yeah.
So Ashley and Shasha are fighting and eventually Ash's like, just because I didn't let someone
treat me like, yeah, beach for four years doesn't mean I'm a little girl.
Yes, and, you know, that she, she does get mean back, but man, Sharice is just such an asshole.
She's never learned to fight.
And she puts on this big fake thing when she fights.
And she just goes way too hard.
She's standing there in some terrible dress
with her black bra hanging out and holding her iPhone,
list being at some young girl and starting to yell at her
in the store.
And what did she say?
She says, in fence, she goes lately Ashley,
she starts talking like she's not there.
She's like lately, athletes, and everybody's witness.
You're like a mini Giselle, and Ashley says,
well, part of being a friend is spilling teeth
and if people don't want to hear it,
she's like, you're being messy little girl, spreading lies.
Yeah.
And you're bringing her and she's like,
I'm not a little girl.
And all you talk about is real relationship talk.
And blah, blah, blah.
And it's your my business.
Could you cry into me about it every five minutes?
Yeah, exactly.
So then she said that thing like, well, just because I wasn't
like visible for four years, I mean, I'm a little girl.
And Shriska's good luck having babies with an old man.
And then Shriska's, you know, because he's old,
so his sperm might not be swimming. Because he's, you know, well, I'm trying to say that you get,
like, you're 20 or 20, he's in his 60s. So like, you know, he might have a right to have this function.
Like, so like when he, when, so when he ejaculates, because men ejaculate, the sperm might not be working
and you have an egg, it needs to be fertilized. And the sperm does not get the egg. You might not be working and you have an egg that needs to be fertilized And the sperm does not get the egg you might not have a baby because he's old and again
You're young so therefore you know, you see what the joke is there because so here's one thing
You have a you have a you have a you have a vagina you the penis
That's a bird and a bee you the store
genius. There's a store. There's a bird and a beast. You're the store. But here's the thing. If the linen is not clean, he can't pick up the baby. So like, I mean, you know, there was a store
because it's a bird, okay? Oh, she's trying to say he's too old. Well, that's not even how you have
babies. You have babies by making a profit in a restaurant stupid. You don't have to be so emusional.
Get that, it's a play on the emotional,
but it's an emu, because you serve emu,
I have your restaurant called A.
Gawthor play on Meta Muthal
with your husband probably take,
because he can't poop, because he's old.
See what happens is when you're old,
you know, your system's so weird things happen,
you get digestive issues, you have, you know your system's full like weird things happen you get digestive issues
You have you get some spots. I mean you stop covering your face when you see
XY's coming up to you in public so when I say em you it works out a lot of level
So I can't explain all to you ask Lee right now, but you know what I'm saying. It was a good joke
It's a good actually. He's fucking gone. She's like this bitch is crazy
I don't know what I'm saying. It was a good joke.
Ashley is fucking gone.
She's like, this bitch is crazy.
And the shrieks, because yeah, he probably has an effect on me.
He's just lying to you about it, which a good point, but please don't try and drop
it any more lessons on Ashley.
He's already been a lot.
He's been a lot.
I feel like I deserve a college credit just for sitting through that.
So why are they fighting my store? They fight in three back. So why they fight in my store.
Why they fight in my store?
I just came for an Indian accent for no good reason.
I know.
So I just made her into like the guy from tag.
Why do they fight in my store?
Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von I am dude, queen of the pageant gown. So then we have a commercial break and we come back.
It's like the montage time
because we haven't had one yet this episode.
It's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun.
And it's like, oh, putting things out.
Ashley hates salt and pepper shakers like that.
And then, you know, all that stuff.
As much as, as much as Jacelle is jealous of Monique's money
and is just so offended by it,
Monique really is an asshole.
She's like, Joe, it's her assistant.
She's like, please move the salt and pepper shakers.
And oh my gosh, look, it's another check.
We've got money everywhere.
Oh.
And I like the, I'm sorry, I just noticed this note,
but they've got this really nice line of continuity,
nudity, because then it cuts to Karen and she goes, yes, I love this hat.
Write a check all day long.
My Karen is writing checks in a fucking store.
Come on!
Yeah!
Now, excuse me while I write this in my ledger.
Excuse me.
I shall initiate a bank transfer. Do you accept hay pennies?
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,
a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into
a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
crafted narrative designed to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out.
Hey, so...
So...
Now, excuse me, I'm...
...movein' on here on my...
I forgot what you called them, never mind.
If that man wants to marry my daughter, I expect a pepper and a donkey.
I will accept no less.
What do you call those big bicycles that have the big front wheels and little spec wheels?
I forget what they're called.
I'm not a unicycle then.
It's, no, it's like the, it's a friend just see.
Oh, I want to say the Poisson. It's no, it's like the yeah, it's a friend. It's the
I want to say the Poisson. I want to say the penny for but it's not a penny for us. That's a pastry back alone
Yeah, I can't only know a few of a few French words. I just say le Poisson for everything. I'll look it up I'll get everyone. This is not gonna be another lapis lazuli situation. I'm gonna get the bottom this one
She's me so I need the bag any far things
Luzuli situation I'm gonna get the bottom of this one
She's me so I need the bag any far thing any Where I can find it whistle like oh gonna pee on a fish?
I knew it was a penny far thing I was like once I said hey petty that bike came into my head
I was like I don't know why it's in my head, but I know that's what you do that. Hey penny
Well if you haven't got a penny a hey penny will do okay? We're gonna take Ray and I are gonna take our penny five things out
Through Potomac tonight
My hooking at new facts machines.
My home will only sell for 19 million hay pennies.
Well, you know, we make hay while the sun's so shining. Am I right?
Hey, Penny. That's some good hey penny shade
So one and Robin go over to a radio so and it's like one
Followed by just a gust of warm air
Hey, welcome to the radio she's like
Yeah, they're like welcome to the Red Islander show on 10 80 sports time life on times like this is one Dix in a superstar of the Atlantic coast and is
partner
Robin
I can't believe he's coming a partner and this is so he now here's here's where I think
Robin this is a little annoying because Robin's like it's funny because people don't really know what to cause like
I'm actually still comfortable with people calling me his wife.
And I'm like, now Robyn, you just can't do that.
Now you're just like fucking with people, okay?
Yeah.
Don't do this whole like we do our own separate thing, but you can still call me his wife.
It's sad.
You know, Robyn has had her ups and downs for me on this show,
that in general, I really like her.
I'm like a nice person.
And I actually really respect that she knows
Juan is fucked up.
She's been with him since she was young.
I like that she's willing to stay together for the fact.
I like there's some things that I like that she's doing,
but at the same time, it's just she needs
to have some more self-respect, you know.
I know she's scared, but come on girl, you can do it
Wait a second. I have to interrupt this because this is potentially some marital stuff
This is kind of hilarious. Oh my god. This is a real housewives thing, but it has nothing
It has nothing to do with a
Dominic this tweet just came up on my screen
Joanna Krupa is getting divorced
Let me tell you something, people of watercraftens, just last week we talked to Joanna Krupa
and we're like, oh, Romaine, you gotta, how are things with Romaine?
You know what, you gotta lock that guy down, you gotta, you, look at you, good for you,
you gotta hand some us, but you gotta keep that one.
A week ago, he said this, now it's their getting divorced.
Oh, wow, we are really great.
Our timing is impeccable.
I would like to say that's really sad,
but I think they separate like every other week.
I mean, we did watch Real Housewives of Miami.
Yeah, so that's...
I don't feel too sad yet.
I mean, I don't feel sad.
I just think it's... especially here we're talking about this, this metal issue,
but I mean, how crazy.
Anyway, back to London.
I'm like doing my best to not shit talk and I would like credit for not doing it.
Okay.
So next Robin is on the radio talking about, they're talking about camps that they're,
they're hosting and stuff.
It is rough because Juan doesn't like to teach or talk either.
Yeah.
He does not a big talk.
It's like not sure what to even do. He's like he literally looks like a
Gerbil that's being given a bath like sort of skittish. I mean like who would give a bath to a gerbil and that's what he's thinking
He's like I'm a gerbil. Why are you bathing me just let me run around in a wheel. I'm cute
Just give me something to chomp on give me a little water bottle. I'll run away.
So we pups in his ball.
At least he's in the house.
You know, he's trying.
And he's so cute.
You know, I know it's weird.
You know, a hamster should be in a cage.
But I sort of like it when he rolls around on the ball.
Like, you know, that's just our relationship.
It's how we roll.
Get it.
He didn't either.
I don't know if we'll ever be able to be together again.
Maybe if he can get out of his little maze, I keep building, then we can talk.
But until then, hmm.
So one thing we didn't mention before in the Gisele and Cal scene, Gisele is going off
about how dare this, I heard that Ashley's going after and how dare her.
That is none of her business and that is only Robyn's business.
And if anyone's going to go say something like that, it should be me because we're real
friends.
So she's decided that she's going to put Robyn, this is Robyn, right?
Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, jizz, jizz, shri, okay. The now's just a shrink, right? Yeah. Says Jizz
Ellen Shasha. And it is so awkward because these women have paid each other for so long.
And on top of that, Jizz El put her cheese and crackers on a cake stand, which is weird.
In the backyard. In the kitchen. I mean, who does that? Seriously?
Seriously. So Potomac. The sprinklers come on. In her new home, we should mention Jizz El has a new
home. She's moved out of that like very normal suburban home into something larger and probably rented.
So it's the new abode tour and it's like tiny room, tiny room. I can hear rug. Okay, let's go outside.
Talk to me 12 stays later. Okay,. Right now we're gonna eat outside.
It's my most expensive furniture.
So they go out there and there's a random close up
of a butterfly on flowers, which I don't know.
I took his poetry like maybe these worms
will eventually hatch.
I don't know.
Maybe it means that little fawn is gonna come back.
All the fawns in Potomac were so terrified
by season one that we haven't seen one again.
Yeah, they all left.
We didn't see the deer.
No more deer footage.
We've all started turning up belly up in the lake.
No one knows why.
That'd be nice.
So she's like, what would you like to drink?
Champagne sparkling water.
She's like, well, I'm thinking trainer later, but I love champagne.
Did I tell you about my fan paying boom?
It's like, yes.
Shut up.
We get it, Sharice.
The Jizelle is just laying it on thick.
She's like, well, you're looking good, girl.
I love this new Sharice.
She's smiling and looking good.
You look great.
Have a seat.
What can I do for you?
She's like, mm-hmm. You know, she's like,
I'll have a cracker off the cake plate. It was just weird. But, you know, I mean, even I think
that's weird and I have a champagne room. I won't be sweating until I go to the trainer,
but that cheat is already sweating. All right, give it to me.
It goes with my training theme. So, yeah, Jacelle was basically sharing about, you know, what it was like when she was
breaking up with her man, his name Eddie, I think it's Eddie, and how like, she felt
like everyone was up in her business and how she'd go to Whole Foods and the cashier
would be like, your man is no good, yada, yada, yada, and she's sort of like bonding
with Cherisse and everything and Cherisse uses this opportunity to, you know, complain about Ashley.
Yes, thank you.
That's nice.
Actually, the horrible human being and all I would find to do is buy a potato sack with
glitter on me.
And then she comes in there and she starts telling me, I'm miserable and I'm waiting
for you.
No man wants me. Oh no, no honey that's not how it started you started coming
after Ashley who was there to be nice and trying to be nice helping you have
address and then start a screen get her and called her husband old and gay
what the hell yeah fucking well you know because they all you know because
the most fun this show has is when the old women go after the young woman
That's you know, so just there's just rallying around the dreamy thing. I was trying to stop him and she started attacking me
Yeah, and then just felt like oh, no, no, no
It's not funny. It's not funny
She's like did you tell the joke about the sperm how they die because he's old Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, I wish they had that champagne that way I could be drunk and love. Am I right?
Eat the crack off the cake stand anime
What so why is Beyonce like anime anyway? No, it's not anime. It's Anna never mind
So Jacelle is already ready to go right so she's like how could she talk about asking that?
It's not her job? How dare she respect
Robin and her relationship? If someone's going to do that, it's going to be us because we're
real friends. Yeah. Like you just totally ignored this woman for a whole year. Then went on
national TV and tried to put cover divorce settlement by saying she's been fucking some fireman.
So please stop pretending to be your like the best friend in the world. Yeah, let's leave.
Let's let's drop that whole act.
Yeah, I'm sure he's just like, well,
it's not about me.
Sounds good.
Yeah.
So then we go over to Chris and Monique, who are now
showing up at their pastor's place, the pastor and the wife.
And Monique's like, well, we got the house in Patem,
and they accepted the offer.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I was so confused because I missed some detail in there in the beginning. Ielman, they accepted the offer, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
And I was so confused because I missed some detail in there in the beginning.
I was like, did the pastor sell her the house?
Why is she signing the paperwork of the house at the pastor?
And then I learned and I saw that, oh, the pastor's wife was the real estate agent.
I was like, oh, I was so confused at first.
And she even brags to the real estate people she's like well
We're getting that house. We're about to pay four point five million dollars
She's like I know the pastor and first lady for ten years. There are realtors pastors God parents gardeners baby sitters
Cobbles cleaners fish tank cleaners.
Side yard movers.
So then they start talking,
and the pastor starts giving out advice,
and the pastor starts saying,
like, well, for Monique, you got to remember
that Chris is the number one.
And Chris, you remember that Monique is number one.
You know, after God, you know, because there's a difference between love and being in love.
I mean, Monique goes, that's deep.
I was like, is it?
Is it deep?
I think it was a bad deep as out of aquarium.
We know love and love.
We think about it like that.
Okay.
In love is when you want to go on a day.
Love is when your wife is falling your tent underwear
and pretending it's cute.
The pastor's like, as I always say,
there's no use trying over spilt milk.
Ain't that the truth?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Well, as I always say, when there's spilt milk, call the pastor.
They'll clean it up
Here's a five you can't have your cake and eat it to
Actually, I have two cakes so that way I can eat one and have the other one
She really does on the right five the cakes already
Your cake and not have Chrissy did all too
so
The cake and not have Chrissy at all too. So the pastor and I love whenever there's a pastor
on this show because they get so pastry. And he is what you need to believe, girl. I'm
like, okay, you're not in church. You can calm down. And Monique says, well, pastor, we're
in a really good place in our marriage, but I need other advice because Jezebel. I mean, Jezebel, like nothing like being caddy in the pastor's office.
I know. And of course, my first mind was that my first instinct was that she was talking
about the website, Jezebel. I was like, oh, she read something on Jezebel. I was like,
oh, wait. You can see where my mind is always at. I was like mediocre films from the 50s,
and then the past goes,
Monique, did you call her a trick?
She's like, I did, I did.
Because it reminded me of Chris' mom,
and I'm like, whoa.
And Monique starts to cry.
And Monique starts to cry.
Chris goes, baby, you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just happened to want to have a 500-man on top of me You put five truckloads where the poop everything and as I do where they could cover my house
Did ten din first bugs?
How awful is it though for real for real though how awful is it that
Chris's mom
wants respect. I mean I'm so rude so rude
It's like moms just think they deserve respect
because their moms earn it, bitch.
I know.
Like for real, like no, you don't,
like you're what, you're a mom,
and it's Mother's Day weekend,
and you want quote unquote respect.
I mean, please.
Drink.
It should be called mom.
Why don't you make a fucking effort day?
Yeah, okay. So then Monique is like maybe Jizelle is someone who puts her
hurt on other people like oh really you think you think what gave you that
huge idea she just went through a traumatizing divorce and is nasty to
everyone she's jealous of what makes you think that Monique that I think maybe she wants one of our five houses
or maybe it's my happy marriage or maybe it's my millions of dollars or maybe the famous rich husband I didn't try to get married to it just happened.
So what's up with this bitch saying nobody else can expect respect but she expects respect right away. Why is it that she would get
respect from everybody automatically, but they wouldn't get respect.
Well, it's the paradox. It's that, well, that's why she had to learn.
But it means why she's rich and married to a famous man.
Well, that's because we hold ourselves a double-sane. I mean, there's so many times that we,
you know, attack people for things that we are guilty of. And that's what a pastor was,
and that's, I mean, like, hello, look at our podcast.
I mean, if any of these people basically clap back
and I'll be like, you're right, I'm sorry.
So it's true.
And I've learned, I've said it many times.
I learned so much about myself on the show
because once I learned that I was mad at myself,
it explains so much.
Yeah, self-loathing, it's great.
So the pastor, the pastor's based, like, so many,
you should probably apologize to yourself
She's like what he's like yeah, well you have to do is you have to offer yourself in humility aka you brag too much
Yes, he's right woman of God
Why I'm this see this she want to talk and she's like well, oh yeah, Christina Raphson
She's like well, I'm gonna mouth the money. That's what everybody says
Yeah she interrupts him. She's like, well, I'm gonna melt the money. That's what everybody says. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know if that she really owes Jazelle an apology to be honest,
but she could offer herself up in more humility. That's for sure. And she could try to actually
connect with Jazelle and listen and hear what Jazelle has to say, rather than talk about her
five houses and her, you know, five hundred just kind of proves Jacelle's point.
And it gives her something to fight back with.
If you just call Jacelle and you're like, look,
here's how I felt.
I'm coming to you because I actually wanna be friends.
I know we're different and I know that I annoy you,
but here we are together in a friend group.
So tell me what bothers you about me.
And let's try and figure out how it can change.
And if the Jaceell wants to change that,
she'll sit later great, but she won't anyway.
But just to get her to stop fucking yelling at her,
be like, you know what?
You can use my house for a charity event whenever you want.
That's gonna be nice to you.
I guarantee it.
Or just ask for advice.
People love that.
If you ask someone for advice,
they suddenly feel important and special.
It should be like, Jizzell, you know,
I've been thinking, you've got great style.
Where do you, like, where do you, where do you get it?
How does someone like you do it all?
How do you do it all, Jazeal?
And then Jazeal would like you.
Well, I do it because Sheree's has been fucking a fireman
for an entire year and not telling your husband
and that's where my style comes from.
Good talk, Monique.
Good talk.
So then,
can't change Jazeal.
So then Karen and Ray, they are now like piling themselves
into a car to drive off because there's
going to be an open house.
And I like that Karen and Ray have just
become this sweet old couple that putters around the fringes
of the show now.
They don't really, they're not really involved with everything.
They just sort of are always in a car.
Ray's always dressed up in a blazer in a tie.
Like you can go somewhere special.
They just drive around.
Here we are, Ray, in the car.
Do you like my hair?
Because I got bangs in the ponytail, babe.
And he's like, things in a ponytail.
I love it.
She's like, yes, thanks, Ray.
Now whose idea was it to sell anyway?
Ray, slow down, Ray.
Slow down, Ray.
You know, they don't make you go like this anymore.
So we can't get a replacement part if you crash it.
Open houses will never happen
in a huge row thank you
so they have a private showing of the house and uh...
carren
carren's like well i hope they fall in love with my favorite part of the house
the
grand for a day
and then they cut to the people and she's like, well, this is big, it's a little dated.
And it's big.
And then it cuts to caring going, uh,
we've lived 20 years in Potomac Ray.
He's like, you know how, how much an average person moves
every two years.
And she's like, I'm not average, Ray.
He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh.
And then by, the buyers are just like cringing their nose. You say I'm not average Ray. Like oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And if they can't appreciate that then they don't deserve they you got home
He's like those are the things that you put in there. And they've got stringing up like no ray those are cassette tapes
Then I called you cassette ray
Record ray. Oh, what a day. What a day that was.
So I like when the lady goes, are they going to update this stove in this dishwasher?
You look at the kitchen and they've got non-matching marble.
It's like, it's not even marble.
It's basically like, oh, this is just, we don't know what this is.
As we call it France, it's for me,
cal le pasons.
They're like, oh, that's lovely.
That's lovely.
This is made from several penny fardings
that have been melted down into a solid pattern.
So the guests basically are like, well, it's a little dated.
I mean, can the price come down?
And the realtor is like, we'll do anything.
Just put in an offer.
We'll talk them into anything.
Just please put it in an offer.
It's like, wow, there's your hardcore realtor.
You're a strong realtor for you.
Seriously, maybe the host of hometown can come in
and spruce it up.
So my least favorite shirt. listen to the bonus episode everyone.
So, then we go over to Sarath, who is with her honky, I think, Ragh.
And Ragh is explaining his...
So, Shree says in a tiara, Jazeal comes in and Ragh starts explaining all the things he does.
He's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm a resistant, I'm a stylist, I'm gonna make a, I facilitate her hair.
I'm like, what does that even mean?
You facilitate her hair.
Are you like a special aid to the hair?
Like welcoming the hair to its seat?
I don't get this.
I was like, take off your mask, Porsche.
Okay.
No one fired you from real housewives about late.
Yeah.
I facilitate her hair.
Yeah.
Do we know why Shasha was wearing a tiara?
I didn't understand that.
Because this is my house and I'm the queen of my house.
And I'm going to have a fan pain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she's like, look, I'm kind of in there.
I've been saying, well, we're going to do a problem.
And just I was like, brutal honesty.
If I say something crazy, you got to have my back.
Teresa's like, brutal honesty. If I say something crazy, you got to have my back. Shreece is like, yeah.
So Robin and Jazell come over.
Shreece shows them the champagne room.
And one thing that really disgusted me was like,
you know, it's like basically an empty room.
That's just been demoed.
And Shreece is walking around barefoot.
I'm like, there could be a nail.
What are you doing?
Put on like a flip flop. I'm actually rooting be a nail. What are you doing? Put on like a flip flop.
I'm actually rooting for the nail. So Robin, uh, Robin arrives and they, yeah, they look at the room. I'm like, oh, champagne. It's a lot of champagne.
And sure, he's just like, I love champagne. I would eat it, drink it, puff it. I love
champagne. She said, I love champagne. This house house just demo the whole house. Okay. Yeah. So she
starts showing them plans on her phone of what it's kind of look like. And I'm like, you stole that
from property, brother. It's like one of those 3D drawing things they do. I ain't buying it. It wasn't
even property, brothers. It was that show with Reza. Whatever that was called. I don't remember. It's
all done in like water colors and colored pencils. She's like look look at my new home
They said this is they said they'll do for me and that's like all she gets is just a schematic
No more. She sells like this is beautiful
But my awfulness is actually echoing here. Do you have a patio of sweaty cheese?
Don't be great. Have you put the crackers out on the cake pedestal yet great?
So Sharree starts talking about Ashley being
in a public at and and they were horrible for me. I was just talking about normal
things and they attacked me and called me a move of the being alone and they robbed
them. She's one of those people who's sitting in a glass house and just all because throwing stones is a 20 year old.
That's what 20 rolls do best.
Yeah, Robin and Robin Bayce tells us that she's going to pull
out of the Oz event, which I think is funny,
since Ashley does enjoy the pull out method.
But she's just sick of Ashley and just wants to be
disentangled from it.
And they're giving her a sit for being young and then
Sharice starts doing that twerk thing on the couch,
like making fun of her for being young.
And I'm like, why is it okay for you to give her a sit
for being young, what she says one thing about your age
and you guys have a season long cross on your back?
Yeah, exactly.
So they're like, yeah, that actually,
she really is throwing rocks and glass houses.
She's saying things that she shouldn't be talking about so
Shreece I mean so Robin
How do you feel about these numbers?
She goes Ashley runs her mouth like a motorboat and it's always up to me to set her straight and I cannot believe she talked to you like that
Now now wearing your business
How does it feel? Jesus, she goes, how does it feel when Ashley says
your husband is sleeping with all of Potomac?
And she goes, well, she didn't say that.
I mean, she's just beating a dead horse.
It's like, oh God, now she's beating you.
Come on.
No, so it's.
No one can.
So then it's more of the same stuff where Jacelle and Shreece are saying that they just want the best Robin
They want Robin to win and you know you can't give it the best you and Rob is like
What is all this on his own time?
And someone tells me that one is cheating. I'm not gonna confront him because we have kids.
What?
I mean she does say well, you know, it's like
financially, it makes more sense for us now just put up the money.
And we just live under the same roof. And they're like, okay,
well, that makes sense. But nothing else, you say make sense.
Yeah. And then she tries the whole thing.
Well, just like he cheated divorce, you take him back, you make
him food, raises his kids, but you can't ask about a sidepiece what is it a wing a breast a foot a giblet a kidney in her chicken
because she talked about KFC last week too and she didn't this make me hungry.
So then Robin tries her well he's the one who wants a relationship with me, but I'm closed off.
And if I say it works for me, you should trust me.
Uh, you know, no.
Well, I mean, I get that. I mean, it's none of their business, but at the same time, you know,
nothing, certain things are not adding up. He wants to be with you, but he's,
but if he's with other people,
if he is telling you that he wants to be with you,
but then he's with other people,
then then things are not adding up.
Then there's some dishonesty and you're sleeping with
dishonesty. I don't know.
I think that they have a right to voice their concern
at that level and Robin has a right to say,
I think they do.
Yeah, I think that Robin in this case, she doesn't have to live her life for anyone
except herself.
And so she can keep doing this.
But kind of what they're saying is you're probably going to hurt yourself in the long run.
It might be fine now, but it's going to hurt the long run.
And I'll say it might be bad for the kids in the long run.
We don't know.
So.
Yeah, you can fool yourself and that's your right. And she, you can fool yourself. And that's your right.
And she knows what her relationship is. And she's deciding to try and make it work anyway.
And that's her right.
But if people, if your friends don't tell you the truth,
then you'll really start to believe your own bullshit.
And that's when it's hard, you know,
that's when it'll ruin your life.
But she knows what she's doing.
And if she wants to do it, then go, you know, good for her.
Yeah. I mean, not good for her, but do what you will.
Yeah, exactly.
At this point, I'd settled for a man who's like, cute, barely wants to talk or pay any kind
of attention to me, but I get the occasional late night lay.
That's really all I want in my life.
I don't want somebody up in my head off anyway.
So there are worse people to get the late night lay from than one Dixon
all
You know what I'm saying you know I'm saying and Teresa's like do you have a therapist because I
I found one that works for free on the internet that I saw in Atlanta
Maybe he can say think the whole different way and like you showed up to a party two days ago sobbing
So I like Dr. Jeff. I liked I liked him a lot
I thought he was really good on Atlanta. His only problem is that Neenie was an asshole and like ruined everything
Neenie Neenie come back Neenie
Neenie come back Neenie
Lucy
No, Robin doesn't need a pussy who needs to feel her feelings. She needs someone. She needs like a doctor
Laura to be like listen bitch. Yeah, this is your fault. She'll be cool. Wait a minute.
Well, no, she doesn't she does need a she doesn't need a doctor. Doctor what's what's Jeff? Because she if I didn't someone
gives her tough love. She's just gonna like her walls will be up, but I think she needs someone just sort of to hold her hand and be like okay Robin so you're really damaged and you may not realize it but you're super
damaged you know well I think that you can this is probably going too deep for this but you can see by
the way just her kids treat her and then the way they treat the dad I mean she says she's staying
there for the kids but you're basically showing two young men
what it's like to not give a woman respect.
That's a great treater, however you want,
and go date other people, and they give her a no respect.
They do treat her like a doormat.
So you're not really doing your kids favors either.
So she needs a doctor, Laura,
so it would be like, you're hurting your kids.
And she'll be like, oh, okay, I'll be for the kids.
That's a, you know, Ronnie, that was a really good point.
I totally think that was probably the strongest point
in all of this, which is that I'm like,
this is a second father related on a childhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's pretty much it for Ptiel Mick.
Next week it looks like they're gonna be,
Dr. Jeff will make his appearance,
and there'll be some tears and some fighting which is good.
And we have Mother's Day weekend coming up, but before we embark on a weekend of joy
and festivities, we do have to dip our old hands into the crap and smell back.
I was like it's Friday, and we're supposed to be doing something on Friday and this is it.
So this question, by the way the Crabid's Mailbag is something on Patreon.
If you want to have your question read on the air, go to Crabid's Mailbag.
Go to Patreon and sign up at the Crabid's Mailbag level.
So this is from Lordus Gavilanis.
Gavilanis.
Gavilanis. Lordus Gavilanus, Gavilanus Gavilanus, Lordus G.
Lordus, she says,
In the throes of breakup torpor, this thought at 3 a.m. made me smile.
Luke and Mikey stuck in traffic. Jules is driving. They're late. Go.
First of all, Lordus, sorry that you're in breakup torpor, torpor, that sucks.
Huh?
It was his fault.
Yeah, always his fault.
Always his fault.
Okay, Luke, I'm assuming Luke from Ladies of London and Mikey from Beverly Hills, they're
stuck in traffic and jewels is the driver and they're late.
First of all, I'm just gonna say I feel like Luke's just gonna be like, all right, all right.
All right.
I don't think he's gonna say anything more than that.
Luke and Jules.
But!
Ladies of London Jules.
Yeah, I'm assuming it's ladies of London Jules
and not real houses from New York City Jules.
My vagina.
Did I met your vagina hurts?
I was trying to climb out the window of this car,
and I hit it. Oh, God, are you rolling up the window? Oh, my God, my vagina's rolling I was trying to climb out the window of this car and I hit it
Oh, god, are you rolling up the window? Oh my god my vagina's broken. Hey Luke. Hey Luke look in the glove box
What do you see what's in there? He's like there's a fork. Yeah, there's a fork in the glove box. I hit it in there
Isn't that funny?
Darling, it's been wonderful to drive in the car with you Luke
to drive in the car with you Luke.
Fortunately, I'm so, but now you have a mere darling, a mere that I could lay flat down.
Do you have a razor darling?
Where you?
Mikey's in the back seat.
Yes, bitch.
Go to that light, bitch.
Next level.
Merge, bitch.
Merge.
I love to merge with many men because I'm single. I can merge with whoever I want.
I merge with a dull man yesterday and an actual door into separate days.
Laughing young, being young.
I'm confused.
Did you put Lisa Vanderbump in this car?
No, it's June.
It's June.
Ladies of London.
June.
Isn't that June?
No, I don't know who that was.
That's the friend who was the drug addict and was divorced.
No, I was always cracking them up.
Fucking views.
What was her name?
The new one. The you one her name was
Never with that
I like it's like look just because you lost your children and you won't be
Visitation right no one likes you knew an ex-drog addict with no friends and no money
Doesn't mean I should forgive you for acting up at a party that was ridiculous
But I love you!
She spoke like this.
I'm too high.
Time to win.
I honestly keep on saying Auntia, but that was from the...
Oh, it was close.
You're close.
Oh my god.
It's Althea?
No, it wasn't Althea.
It was.
Um, we're just starting with an S.
It was like I
Shit
If I just
That that was such a fucking
Caroline Stambury friend ladies of London what was her name?
I'm looking right now
Adela or Adele Adele Adele
No jewels is my hand jewels. Oh
Jewel oh Juliet Angus or
Jewels oh man Jules Jules could go for either one of them. I
Like we still just still trying to figure out our scenario
Yeah, who's in the car sorry we gave it to Luke and
Adela we actually put in Jules Weinstein in the car
Delas snuck in Mikey was there for a merge
You know that Caroline Fleming said the Beverly Hills Hotel right now, do you realize how close we are to Caroline Fleming?
Is that not, did you see her Instagram story?
Well, why don't we just go over there?
What the hell are we still talking for?
I know.
Wait, let me play her Instagram story
because I put it on, maybe you can hear it
through the microphone because she talks about pancakes.
Let's see, come on, I hope it's still there.
I'm so proud of my beautiful friend,
Deborah, who is the genius designer behind all of these completely incredible handbags that
I love and adore. That was not what I was expecting to come up, but I played it because I was
really into it. The pancake thing is gone. She had a thing up with pancakes at an Instagram store,
and she's like,
here are some wonderful pancakes with blueberries and bacon,
raspberries.
Now here's the handbags that I absolutely adore.
How lucky are the handbags.
How lucky are you to have these handbags.
How lucky are you to have these handbags
for the blue breeze, straw breeze.
A lot of housewives sell handbags.
They really, they must be easy to make.
Here's a question.
This one segues right from what we're talking about.
Alison King, she goes,
not sure if you've already done this,
but I create the conversation between Caroline Fleming
and Ramona about when they were little girls.
Who do you wanna be?
So who is it again?
Caroline Fleming and who else?
Ramona.
Oh my God, okay.
Well, you pick, I don't care, I like them both.
I like them both too, I don't know.
I'll be Ramona. Okay.
Oh Ramona, how lucky are you to be in my home? My great, great, great, grand father.
Built this home in the Berkshire's.
Whoa, whoa, that's crazy. I'm just remembering right now, my great-great-great-great-grandfather.
He was Danish just like you, and he loved to eat Danishes, and that's what I was told.
And one time when I was a little girl, I thought, well, you know what I'm going to do as tribute
to my great-great-great-great-grandfather who was never murdered.
I decided I was going to have a Danish too.
And Geraldine Parsonsmith said, no, you should need that.
It'll just make you fat.
You should need anything at all except for rice and beans.
And to this day, I've never had a pastry.
I'm sorv-y.
I'm sorv-y Caroline Fleming, but I don't need pastries based on your people.
Ah, well, so funny you should mention that because...
My great-great-great-great-great-grandfather once asked for a Danish at his friend's home,
and the friend told him, we don't serve Danishes, and my great-great-great-great-grandfather said,
how unsplendently unlucky are you? I shall murder you now for having no Danishes. He chopped off his head
you now for having no tainishes. He chopped off his head and built a Danish shop on top of it. It must have been your great great great great great great grandfather.
Oh oh oh oh. I'm sorry but murderous day class A. I'm sorry I'm sorry you shouldn't be
doing that. And if I ever have a Danish which I don't think I will because what you did
was so day class A but if I were to have, I would have it on a plate that was yellow, because yellow reminds me of sunshine.
What do you think about sunshine?
Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope,
sorry, I bet you should hold my back.
Oh, that's crazy.
Crazy.
I always eat almond butter on my Danishes that I don't eat, which is weird.
I put me on my butter on it and then I lick it off the Danish because I refuse to eat
Danishes for all the reasons I already explained to you. Okay?
Slow fade, slow fade, slow fade.
Ebel skewers.
Ebel skewers.
Now what do you think of cobalms?
Now what do you think of Cobbobbs? What do I can Bob?
Get it.
Swore.
You were doing that all the skewers are right.
Okay, have a quick, something on the plate.
Sorry.
Swore.
Slow fade.
And that's the show everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Bye everybody.
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