Watch What Crappens - #454 RHOP: Everything to Every Juan

Episode Date: May 12, 2017

Robyn gets a "Juantervention," Ashley gets a Sha-Sha freak-out, and Karen gets a "realty" check. It's all par for the course on Real Housewives of Potomac. Come listen to us break it all do...wn, and afterwards, stay tuned for Crappens Mailbag!! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode is sponsored by our premier Patreon subscribers Madonna Hines with a sexy J. Chrissy D'Arty and Mia Hanson Aloha. Thanks. What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens?
Starting point is 00:00:46 What happens? I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I to talk to other crap and listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watch a crap ends.com to find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on bravo. I'm Ben Madelker from BSIBlog.com and the Vanderblander podcast and joining me as usual is the hilarious and super funny and super champagne room wanting but perhaps we'll never have Ronnie Karen from Treshdog TV and the Rose for Spatial Podcast. That's right I just killed your dream I created it
Starting point is 00:01:57 and then I killed it. Hi everybody I need a hamburger room or like a dominoes room for some pizza. I don't need a fucking champagne room That tastes bad and it makes your breath stink really bad. Yeah, no the reason why I said you'll never have one is because I know you are too smart to have one Oh, they you yeah, that's right. We're talking about real house as a Potomac today as is our god given right and Potomac today as is our God given right and It's what's in the Constitution y'all. It's what's in the Constitution But you know, though before we get into Potomac You know what this weekend is a very special weekend as it happens to be Mother's Day weekend and We have to give a little special
Starting point is 00:02:50 Special Mother's Day weekend and we have to give a little special special Mother's Day love to Liz from Newmarket, Ontario and her son Lil Pudgy. We're gonna give you guys... Did my mom write this? Yes. Yes. Yes. Liz from Newmarket Ontario, I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day. This is coming from Lil Pudgy. This is coming from inside his brain.
Starting point is 00:03:17 This is coming from Big Pudgy. Big Pudgy. And never Pudgy, Bann. Yeah, actually it's really coming from your husband Jacob who is sweet and he really, really, really wanted you to know how much you are the best. Hey, while we're at it, thanks to our own moms and thanks to all the moms out there because you created people. Yeah. And also you put up with all sorts of our shit no matter what. And even those moms out there who are not our moms, you do the same with us. When we do anything bad
Starting point is 00:03:51 or really hurt too out of line, you very sweetly and encouragingly tell us to get our shit together and you know what, thank you. Yeah, thank you. And thank you for not naming all of us little Pudgy by the way Thank you for sparing us that shame so Oh, could we do have a lot of moms we listen so we all we respect you and Thank you because you're awesome Yeah, thanks you guys keep it up keep mothering keep mothering Thanks you guys. Keep it up. Keep mothering. Keep mothering. Mothering. Now speaking of moms, shall we move on to some real housewives of Epidermy?
Starting point is 00:04:29 Oh, please, please. Let's just let's move on right on over into them. Yeah, girl, you know I love a driveway fight. Yeah. Which only this show can pull off. And we open this episode back in the driveway with Jacelle saying like normal, Jacelle already got kicked out of this party. Yeah and I love when Jacelle starts talking about Jacelle and the third person which we just watched Atlanta and there's a lot of first person, third person this and that. And so I like
Starting point is 00:04:57 that Jacelle is kind of continuing the theme. Yes. Through the next hour. She's good with that. And while because as you may remember, Jizelle was kicked out because she was being Obnoxious and Monique's house because we're still at the spade Of course her version is well, I was waiting for Monique to leave and you know I mentioned that she's long-winded because she is long-winded and she got offended Believe it just just happened to say that Karen meanwhile is back at the spade table. She's not picking it. She doesn't care The thing did you believe it just just happened to say that um Karen meanwhile is back at the space table she's not picking it she doesn't care she's like dramas beneath me sort of like
Starting point is 00:05:34 the Linolian on my floors Sort of like this wrought iron chair that is literally beneath my butt that I might drag into the garage later to lean back in and tell you all about how drama's been eaten. Um, drama is beneath me sort of like how tube TVs are beneath flat screen TVs in public acceptance. So Monique comes out to the driveway and she's like, what's going on? We are waiting for you.
Starting point is 00:06:07 We are trying to play cards. And Ashley's like, well, we were just saying, I did just, what's really going on? I don't do this BS. And they're like, well, you're making her leave. And she says, I didn't want her to leave. But she's just talking trash and it's not cool to me. And Ashley says that basically, Jizelle's like a new puppy, you know, you have to yell at it and teach it not to pee on the furniture, but then you still have to love it later to
Starting point is 00:06:35 which I say, no, you don't. If that thing doesn't learn it three months, you put it down and get another one. Okay. Called a broken puppy. This is why I'm a cat one. Okay. Call the broken puppy. This is why I'm a cat person. Okay. That's why I want, I want something that automatically knows where to pee and shit.
Starting point is 00:06:50 All right. You know, that's true actually. Jezele is like a cat. No matter what, she's gonna give you shit and then shit inside all the time. You know she's gonna do it when you bring her over to you. I guess that's why I like Jezele so much. So then though, the crazy, the oddest thing about this is that my niece like, listen,
Starting point is 00:07:07 I'm not going to beg someone to stay. I'm like, beg someone to stay. You're the one who kicked her out. It's not like she's making some stand like, I'm going to leave this party. No, you kicked her out. Of course you're not going to beg her to stay. I did like that she said, you know, you act so snottie around me and like I owe you something. You've got your walls up, which is very housewives.
Starting point is 00:07:28 It's like you got your walls up and I don't have to prove myself to you. You seem totally uninterested. So if you want to come in and have fun, fine, but if you want to be a snottie bitch, don't. She's like, that's why I'm getting in the car. It's like, I just get it. She's like, hmm, have fun or be a snotty bitch. I'll be the snotty bitch, I like that. Cat, horse, pony, all these girls, always, Monique's like,
Starting point is 00:07:52 she's just jealous. Yeah, always, yes. Which is true. Well, cause just all cats stop mentioning her money and her money and her money and her house and her money and all this stuff that's true so just that leaves and spacked a spade it's like fun time with spades Chris is all like oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh? Oh, oh, oh, oh. So, uh, so that's fun times, fun times, fun times.
Starting point is 00:08:29 But then Ash is like, Keerun, I want to talk to you about Rambian. And she's like, All right, Mr. Black Bill Gates, we have to go sit over here for the way to talk about this. So they go and... We're going to talk about the leak in Black Windows 10 will be right over there
Starting point is 00:08:53 We're gonna be playing some mind sweeper By sweeping the lads Away from the minefield. I'll be sure to tell all the girls to use black-haffy virus scanner I'm sorry Ray, but the paperclip is trying to talk to me. I have some tips, apparently, about my wood processing. Oh, so... Would you like to save now, Ray? Be good time to. It starts with Ash and Karen alone.
Starting point is 00:09:23 And she's like, well, this drama's beneath me, girl. I've been dating my boo. And Cherice is like, hey, it's me, this being those. Yeah, that's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. We'll ever come on the hoverboard, but the steps here.
Starting point is 00:09:40 Yeah. Also, I broke it. I thought you was the baseball bat. I made a hand to cap rope. I had to cap ramp. Thoth I ramp. I need a Thoth I ramp. Some days I'm three. So I take the fairs. Some days I'm soft on. Take a ramp. And Ashley, not, you know, ever learning is like, well,
Starting point is 00:10:03 I was just saying that I'm worried because I hear that one is seeing got their people and braving doesn't don't, he's just gonna be a doormat. And Karen's like, word on the street. First of all, Potomac is small. And the word on the street is a cold sack.
Starting point is 00:10:21 So the word can be on the street and then it starts going in circles and circles and you just say leave my man Mr. Mailman and leave but they don't Well word on the street is hump because there's a hump you have to drive over and they write hump on there So where you know how about the street is slow children Word on the street is railroad crossing stop here. Word on the street is black bill gates crossing. Word I don't know what else was written on the street. Word on the street is 405 this late 110 on this late. Cross your own
Starting point is 00:11:01 walk. Word on the street. So yeah, so Ash is like And so then Robin comes and joins And she's like And Robin's like, well, we're not in a relationship. It's okay So yeah, and then Robin says If one weren't here, I might just clock that, bitch, am I please? You could have clocked her in front of Juan.
Starting point is 00:11:30 You're on a reality show. You're supposed to clock her in front of Juan. Actually, you should clock her in front of Juan. He might gross some respect for you. Yeah, exactly. A week ass. Yeah. So Teresa's like, well, what the fuck is that we here in a pod?
Starting point is 00:11:43 What the fuck is that? We're on the dev the, have a fight. And as he tells us, well, she says they're working on things, but now she's saying she doesn't care if he has girl fans. And I don't get it. Well, she's happy and then you should be happy and the nation goes.
Starting point is 00:11:59 But look, cha-cha, you lived in a relationship for a long time and that wasn't happy. Now you're crying all all the time and sometimes other people can see it and you don't which is very true and she wasn't saying it is a diss but yeah she said like you know you should you know I'm seeing things and you know usually hear them out and she's like maybe I should focus on your marriage that old gay guy, then my marriage is the people who don't like us. Yeah, pretty much.
Starting point is 00:12:28 I mean, the difference here is that Saris stayed because her husband has money and she has more power in the neighborhood because she's married to a famous guy. So she's in all these charities and she's got all this money in a big house. So she's also attached to that stuff. Whereas Robins, just with a poor man, she's just attached to that stuff, whereas Robyn's just with a poor man.
Starting point is 00:12:45 She's just attached to him out of love from being a 16-year-old hot man. Hotness, yeah, hotness. Well, I mean, the difference, though, is also, it's actually not as simple as that, because Shreece was in a marriage. And so she stayed in it because she was paralyzed and didn't want to go through divorce.
Starting point is 00:13:02 And you know, that happens in life. But Robyn's already gone through the hard part. She's already divorced. So it's, it is weird that they're still together. I mean, because she clearly, my theory is this, which I probably have made this theory every single week, but I can't remember anything from day to day. But Robyn is still in love with Juan. But like in her mind, she knows, he cheated on her and she knows that she
Starting point is 00:13:27 knows that she should have more self respect than to go back to the man who cheated on her, but she's in love with him. So she's trapped. So she doesn't want to look like a fool, but she also doesn't want to leave this guy. She just really loves. True. And also I have to just add the difference when I say the difference is she was with a man with money. That's the difference for me. That's why it's easier for me to explain. I see what she's getting out of it, you know. But Robin, I don't there's nothing she's getting out of it. I mean, the guy's not even at my store. But here's the thing that I'm here's yeah, well occasionally. I mean, who knows. But you know, maybe tonight, you know, she'd like irons or hair every night
Starting point is 00:14:06 and is like, well, that was a waste, but not really because my hair's ironed. Like she's always trying to make it positive. But here's the thing I'm confused about. She said last season, why not cheat it on me? We divorced. I decided that since we're going through money trouble and because I still love the guy and because we're still best friends
Starting point is 00:14:28 That we can still live together and have a relationship. We sleep in the same bed I know it's weird to other people But maybe one day it'll work out and maybe it won't but now everybody's acting like what do you mean? You're still living with him, but you're not you already know this. Did you guys watch the first season? Yeah, yeah Well, it's just me as they're talking about this Monique walks up and she's basically like we don't do this at a party Let's go everyone start dancing so they all start dancing like this is what you're gonna get fired off the show You don't you know if a fight is percolating you don't make it go away and have everyone dance You jump in and just take it to the next level This is what you need to do but this is so the community theater show on Bravo because everybody gets up
Starting point is 00:15:09 It immediately starts dancing and there ain't no music Oh, yeah, these people will just say watermelon cucumber pork you pine or whatever if they have to be in the background Like they'll take any kind of direction to just like keep our jobs. Yeah And then Robin does I'm sorry. I just have add that. Robin does the typical thing where she's like, well, I don't know what her problem is, but she's probably jealous and wants one's dick. OK. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Probably. So then the next day, Karen and Ray go to the realtor, because they're trying to sell their house. And it was originally on the market for two million, but now it's dropped all the way down to less than 1.8 And Karen's wearing Karen is wearing some hat. She's like Actually speaking of black-affee virus software. She's like the little detective guy who pops up on virus scanners
Starting point is 00:16:02 It's like scanning y'all compute apple clues. What are you doing? You're from realtors. I don't know who that is, but I like the idea that Karen might be scanning for viruses on your hard drive. We are currently looking at your CPU. You might want to empty the cash from your AOL account. It's been build up over time. This hard drive is a very small hard drive. Everyone knows everyone about the viruses. She says, we're at a strong real estate agent's office. And I need a strong real estate agent to sell my home.
Starting point is 00:16:39 My house is the best thing since China was invented. I thought, what sort of China was this we're talking about Fisher place are talking about plates or China both Happened twice yeah, this is better than when Ming Chaoling took office the 1800s It's the best thing since the Ming Dynasty and I have 400 terracotta soldiers downstairs too. And they're all watching the tube TV. There's nothing quite like a dragon parade.
Starting point is 00:17:12 People often say I'm a firecracker. I actually have firecrackers in my home. She goes, well, you know, look, the house has been on the market for a while, and now we're starting to get the bottom feeders. She goes, well, don't bring them to my house. I won't get out of bed for that. Quite frankly, I'm insulted. I think that's what a lot of the buyers said when they saw your white stove. The buyer who deserves this home should be a classy snooty bitch.
Starting point is 00:17:49 A world Karen we should probably put out like a sign maybe you're having it open. She's like no, no sign, it's tacky. Absolutely not. If anyone wants to know if my house on sale I will fax them a reference. I will Morse code tap this on my counters every day and with someone classy enough to know Morse hears it, they will come. I am more than happy enough to go to Myrgles and get as bunch of picture frames and put the listings in there but there will be no sign. Oh stupid stupid. Well, of course people want to dish-water, but I have to take Ray with me to the new home.
Starting point is 00:18:36 I don't want neighbors to walk through my home. No, if people want to see my home, I'll have a dinner. On China. Yeah. To remind people how amazing this home is. We have a great machine where you set it and forget it makes divine food. So she's like hardlining the real estate agent as if the real estate agent is a buyer. Man, it's hilarious to me. So next up is Monique. Calendez. Oh, why did I wrote Monique? Is that right?
Starting point is 00:19:11 Well, what were you gonna say? It's, I don't know who knows. Because he's from Calendez. So yeah, it's Calendez. Calendez. Yeah, so Cal, Jacelle and her gay Cal, I really enjoy Cal. I think Cal is hilarious.
Starting point is 00:19:22 And he's so cute. They go to breakfast and Jacelle is like, how are you? As a good gaze, like, oh, what's not about me? How is Mr. Jacelle? Well, she just goes on. Yeah, I'm here for you. As always, let's talk to Jeans. Yeah. She's like, that's why I asked about Jeans first. She's like, no, you, I mean you. Okay. well, I want my daughters to know that I am a woman and this will not stand unlike these women living off their men's money. Like, well, that's, you know, this actually made me happy, which is all because I really do like that attitude. I just don't
Starting point is 00:19:57 like that. She's suddenly judgmental of everybody else, even though she's done it for 50 years. Yeah, exactly. So she starts testing out her every huge beauty on Cal on his face. And she's saying how she's doing this thing because she wants to retire to a yacht in 10 years. And she's like, and to all the haters, if you up the button a major way. So he needs like, what's wrong with that?
Starting point is 00:20:19 Yeah, like you're talking to a gay guy. I actually like this because you know, I love girl power. So I was like, she's actually doing it. You know, she's got 12 views. So that's pretty good. Yeah. Believe it or not. I know it's rare for me to say, but. And then just they'll start making fun of money. They're like talking about that food. And she was like, well, the players had no salt or pepper. Yeah. She said, Now, let's talk this party food. Did you like it? And he's like, I like the potatoes. They had no salt and no flavor.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah. And I went to that party because I'm curious about her 17 homes. Missive 17 homes. I mean, this has to be a home that's in architectural digest. And I just can't wait to see this fantastic thing. Still waiting. Yeah, it was pretty obnoxious, but it was still making me laugh. I was like, go hug your white stove, bitch. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:21:10 I was like, well, she does have a fish tank in the kitchen. And they're like, who was a fish tank in the kitchen? Which I agree with. I think the scar she goes, the only people I know with a fish tank in the kitchen are scar face or the godfather. I'm like, wow, all richer than you. Moving along. Not real people. So then we go to Shasha, who is gonna go, I first was like, oh, she's buying prom gowns for her daughter,
Starting point is 00:21:34 but then we find out she's actually buying gowns for herself, which was sad. She's at some store run by Lydian Guilda, and it was just a bunch of nasty old gowns, and the only reason why they were there was that they were clearly gonna get one for free Yes, and you know that this is a town where no reality shows are filmed because Gilda was like oh hello She's like actually happy to see them there. Yeah, I'm gonna fight breaks out. She's like why they fight in my store
Starting point is 00:22:00 Welcome to being on TV Gilda Yeah, so Sherees is trying on this flesh-toned. Oh my god. It was like a beauty pageant and a figure skater had like a love child and it's shadow reference on the bottom. Yeah, a potato sacrae. Yeah. Uh, because in Potomac, you can never with a thing gown twice. Okay. You mean you can never wear just twice.
Starting point is 00:22:34 It's gonna be five or six times before. So there are rules, there are rules at the Potomac red lobster now, please. Not that I'm gonna be branting out of the NBA, why the filthy acid I've got to bring out a new crop account. Heavy heat and there's a monk that I'm let go thopping. There's a season for charity. I'm sorry, homeless man, I will not give you a dollar. It is winter, sir.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Please come back when the season is right. Yeah. So Ashley comes over and now basically, Sasha starts telling Ashley that she was insensitive at the barbecue to Robin and all she does is run her mouth and all that and Ashley is, you know, shocked. Yeah, sure. So I feel like Beyonce and this one. Oh, please stop if you're Beyonce. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Well, this train gets, well, this train get tangled up in my hoverboard. She's like the Beyonce from the most recent crambies where Beyonce sits in a chair for five minutes and this is all you hear. Tong, tong, tong, tong, tong, tong. And you see the audience looking at each other like, what the fuck is she doing? No, she's not in the only part.
Starting point is 00:23:49 She's the Beyonce from the hamburger helper commercial. Where the hamburger helper commercial goes and then all of a sudden it ends and Beyonce comes and goes, I'm Beyonce for hamburger helper. That's the Beyonce that she is. Or she's the Beyonce for... Is it Amazon? I think it's Amazon, maybe it was eight. I don't know, maybe some American Express,
Starting point is 00:24:09 whereas like a day in the life of Beyonce, and then she's in a limousine, they're like, Beyonce, is there anything else we can get you? And she goes, yes, a boomerang. You're like, what? I would try to get in on this with you, but I just can't top hamburger helper. No, that was just no way.
Starting point is 00:24:25 I feel like no one even references that commercial. I distinctly remember, it's like a hamburger helper commercial with a little glove, be like, whoa, what's for dinner tonight? It's hamburger helper! And it's all like, yay, hamburger helper! And then it looks like the commercial is over, and then it's like black and white. It's like, hi, I'm Beyonce for hamburger helper. And I have partnered with hamburger helper
Starting point is 00:24:45 to bring food for children. And I was like, this is a strange co-branding situation. I feel like she's the Beyonce and the elevator with Jay-Z when so launch comes in and starts beating the shit out of Jay-Z for cheating on Beyonce. And Beyonce just stands there and pretends nothing happened. That's entirely too exciting. That's entirely too exciting.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I know, but you know at the end of the day You know at the end of the day so launch got in trouble for that Beyonce was like you you know you shouldn't get into my business That is none of your business and hitting my man in an elevator and she's like Stand up for yourself girl. Why aren't you standing up for yourself? Suddenly she's not invited to the side yard party, you know. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So Ashley and Shasha are fighting and eventually Ash's like, just because I didn't let someone
Starting point is 00:25:32 treat me like, yeah, beach for four years doesn't mean I'm a little girl. Yes, and, you know, that she, she does get mean back, but man, Sharice is just such an asshole. She's never learned to fight. And she puts on this big fake thing when she fights. And she just goes way too hard. She's standing there in some terrible dress with her black bra hanging out and holding her iPhone, list being at some young girl and starting to yell at her
Starting point is 00:26:01 in the store. And what did she say? She says, in fence, she goes lately Ashley, she starts talking like she's not there. She's like lately, athletes, and everybody's witness. You're like a mini Giselle, and Ashley says, well, part of being a friend is spilling teeth and if people don't want to hear it,
Starting point is 00:26:18 she's like, you're being messy little girl, spreading lies. Yeah. And you're bringing her and she's like, I'm not a little girl. And all you talk about is real relationship talk. And blah, blah, blah. And it's your my business. Could you cry into me about it every five minutes?
Starting point is 00:26:32 Yeah, exactly. So then she said that thing like, well, just because I wasn't like visible for four years, I mean, I'm a little girl. And Shriska's good luck having babies with an old man. And then Shriska's, you know, because he's old, so his sperm might not be swimming. Because he's, you know, well, I'm trying to say that you get, like, you're 20 or 20, he's in his 60s. So like, you know, he might have a right to have this function. Like, so like when he, when, so when he ejaculates, because men ejaculate, the sperm might not be working
Starting point is 00:27:02 and you have an egg, it needs to be fertilized. And the sperm does not get the egg. You might not be working and you have an egg that needs to be fertilized And the sperm does not get the egg you might not have a baby because he's old and again You're young so therefore you know, you see what the joke is there because so here's one thing You have a you have a you have a you have a vagina you the penis That's a bird and a bee you the store genius. There's a store. There's a bird and a beast. You're the store. But here's the thing. If the linen is not clean, he can't pick up the baby. So like, I mean, you know, there was a store because it's a bird, okay? Oh, she's trying to say he's too old. Well, that's not even how you have babies. You have babies by making a profit in a restaurant stupid. You don't have to be so emusional. Get that, it's a play on the emotional,
Starting point is 00:27:49 but it's an emu, because you serve emu, I have your restaurant called A. Gawthor play on Meta Muthal with your husband probably take, because he can't poop, because he's old. See what happens is when you're old, you know, your system's so weird things happen, you get digestive issues, you have, you know your system's full like weird things happen you get digestive issues
Starting point is 00:28:05 You have you get some spots. I mean you stop covering your face when you see XY's coming up to you in public so when I say em you it works out a lot of level So I can't explain all to you ask Lee right now, but you know what I'm saying. It was a good joke It's a good actually. He's fucking gone. She's like this bitch is crazy I don't know what I'm saying. It was a good joke. Ashley is fucking gone. She's like, this bitch is crazy. And the shrieks, because yeah, he probably has an effect on me.
Starting point is 00:28:28 He's just lying to you about it, which a good point, but please don't try and drop it any more lessons on Ashley. He's already been a lot. He's been a lot. I feel like I deserve a college credit just for sitting through that. So why are they fighting my store? They fight in three back. So why they fight in my store. Why they fight in my store? I just came for an Indian accent for no good reason.
Starting point is 00:28:50 I know. So I just made her into like the guy from tag. Why do they fight in my store? Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von Von I am dude, queen of the pageant gown. So then we have a commercial break and we come back. It's like the montage time because we haven't had one yet this episode. It's like, dun dun dun dun dun dun. And it's like, oh, putting things out.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Ashley hates salt and pepper shakers like that. And then, you know, all that stuff. As much as, as much as Jacelle is jealous of Monique's money and is just so offended by it, Monique really is an asshole. She's like, Joe, it's her assistant. She's like, please move the salt and pepper shakers. And oh my gosh, look, it's another check.
Starting point is 00:29:32 We've got money everywhere. Oh. And I like the, I'm sorry, I just noticed this note, but they've got this really nice line of continuity, nudity, because then it cuts to Karen and she goes, yes, I love this hat. Write a check all day long. My Karen is writing checks in a fucking store. Come on!
Starting point is 00:29:57 Yeah! Now, excuse me while I write this in my ledger. Excuse me. I shall initiate a bank transfer. Do you accept hay pennies? Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
Starting point is 00:30:34 We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:31:07 You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. Hey, so... So... Now, excuse me, I'm... ...movein' on here on my... I forgot what you called them, never mind. If that man wants to marry my daughter, I expect a pepper and a donkey. I will accept no less.
Starting point is 00:31:30 What do you call those big bicycles that have the big front wheels and little spec wheels? I forget what they're called. I'm not a unicycle then. It's, no, it's like the, it's a friend just see. Oh, I want to say the Poisson. It's no, it's like the yeah, it's a friend. It's the I want to say the Poisson. I want to say the penny for but it's not a penny for us. That's a pastry back alone Yeah, I can't only know a few of a few French words. I just say le Poisson for everything. I'll look it up I'll get everyone. This is not gonna be another lapis lazuli situation. I'm gonna get the bottom this one She's me so I need the bag any far things
Starting point is 00:32:02 Luzuli situation I'm gonna get the bottom of this one She's me so I need the bag any far thing any Where I can find it whistle like oh gonna pee on a fish? I knew it was a penny far thing I was like once I said hey petty that bike came into my head I was like I don't know why it's in my head, but I know that's what you do that. Hey penny Well if you haven't got a penny a hey penny will do okay? We're gonna take Ray and I are gonna take our penny five things out Through Potomac tonight My hooking at new facts machines. My home will only sell for 19 million hay pennies.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Well, you know, we make hay while the sun's so shining. Am I right? Hey, Penny. That's some good hey penny shade So one and Robin go over to a radio so and it's like one Followed by just a gust of warm air Hey, welcome to the radio she's like Yeah, they're like welcome to the Red Islander show on 10 80 sports time life on times like this is one Dix in a superstar of the Atlantic coast and is partner Robin
Starting point is 00:33:13 I can't believe he's coming a partner and this is so he now here's here's where I think Robin this is a little annoying because Robin's like it's funny because people don't really know what to cause like I'm actually still comfortable with people calling me his wife. And I'm like, now Robyn, you just can't do that. Now you're just like fucking with people, okay? Yeah. Don't do this whole like we do our own separate thing, but you can still call me his wife. It's sad.
Starting point is 00:33:36 You know, Robyn has had her ups and downs for me on this show, that in general, I really like her. I'm like a nice person. And I actually really respect that she knows Juan is fucked up. She's been with him since she was young. I like that she's willing to stay together for the fact. I like there's some things that I like that she's doing,
Starting point is 00:33:58 but at the same time, it's just she needs to have some more self-respect, you know. I know she's scared, but come on girl, you can do it Wait a second. I have to interrupt this because this is potentially some marital stuff This is kind of hilarious. Oh my god. This is a real housewives thing, but it has nothing It has nothing to do with a Dominic this tweet just came up on my screen Joanna Krupa is getting divorced
Starting point is 00:34:24 Let me tell you something, people of watercraftens, just last week we talked to Joanna Krupa and we're like, oh, Romaine, you gotta, how are things with Romaine? You know what, you gotta lock that guy down, you gotta, you, look at you, good for you, you gotta hand some us, but you gotta keep that one. A week ago, he said this, now it's their getting divorced. Oh, wow, we are really great. Our timing is impeccable. I would like to say that's really sad,
Starting point is 00:34:50 but I think they separate like every other week. I mean, we did watch Real Housewives of Miami. Yeah, so that's... I don't feel too sad yet. I mean, I don't feel sad. I just think it's... especially here we're talking about this, this metal issue, but I mean, how crazy. Anyway, back to London.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I'm like doing my best to not shit talk and I would like credit for not doing it. Okay. So next Robin is on the radio talking about, they're talking about camps that they're, they're hosting and stuff. It is rough because Juan doesn't like to teach or talk either. Yeah. He does not a big talk. It's like not sure what to even do. He's like he literally looks like a
Starting point is 00:35:30 Gerbil that's being given a bath like sort of skittish. I mean like who would give a bath to a gerbil and that's what he's thinking He's like I'm a gerbil. Why are you bathing me just let me run around in a wheel. I'm cute Just give me something to chomp on give me a little water bottle. I'll run away. So we pups in his ball. At least he's in the house. You know, he's trying. And he's so cute. You know, I know it's weird.
Starting point is 00:35:53 You know, a hamster should be in a cage. But I sort of like it when he rolls around on the ball. Like, you know, that's just our relationship. It's how we roll. Get it. He didn't either. I don't know if we'll ever be able to be together again. Maybe if he can get out of his little maze, I keep building, then we can talk.
Starting point is 00:36:13 But until then, hmm. So one thing we didn't mention before in the Gisele and Cal scene, Gisele is going off about how dare this, I heard that Ashley's going after and how dare her. That is none of her business and that is only Robyn's business. And if anyone's going to go say something like that, it should be me because we're real friends. So she's decided that she's going to put Robyn, this is Robyn, right? Just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, jizz, jizz, shri, okay. The now's just a shrink, right? Yeah. Says Jizz
Starting point is 00:36:45 Ellen Shasha. And it is so awkward because these women have paid each other for so long. And on top of that, Jizz El put her cheese and crackers on a cake stand, which is weird. In the backyard. In the kitchen. I mean, who does that? Seriously? Seriously. So Potomac. The sprinklers come on. In her new home, we should mention Jizz El has a new home. She's moved out of that like very normal suburban home into something larger and probably rented. So it's the new abode tour and it's like tiny room, tiny room. I can hear rug. Okay, let's go outside. Talk to me 12 stays later. Okay,. Right now we're gonna eat outside. It's my most expensive furniture.
Starting point is 00:37:26 So they go out there and there's a random close up of a butterfly on flowers, which I don't know. I took his poetry like maybe these worms will eventually hatch. I don't know. Maybe it means that little fawn is gonna come back. All the fawns in Potomac were so terrified by season one that we haven't seen one again.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yeah, they all left. We didn't see the deer. No more deer footage. We've all started turning up belly up in the lake. No one knows why. That'd be nice. So she's like, what would you like to drink? Champagne sparkling water.
Starting point is 00:37:58 She's like, well, I'm thinking trainer later, but I love champagne. Did I tell you about my fan paying boom? It's like, yes. Shut up. We get it, Sharice. The Jizelle is just laying it on thick. She's like, well, you're looking good, girl. I love this new Sharice.
Starting point is 00:38:17 She's smiling and looking good. You look great. Have a seat. What can I do for you? She's like, mm-hmm. You know, she's like, I'll have a cracker off the cake plate. It was just weird. But, you know, I mean, even I think that's weird and I have a champagne room. I won't be sweating until I go to the trainer, but that cheat is already sweating. All right, give it to me.
Starting point is 00:38:40 It goes with my training theme. So, yeah, Jacelle was basically sharing about, you know, what it was like when she was breaking up with her man, his name Eddie, I think it's Eddie, and how like, she felt like everyone was up in her business and how she'd go to Whole Foods and the cashier would be like, your man is no good, yada, yada, yada, and she's sort of like bonding with Cherisse and everything and Cherisse uses this opportunity to, you know, complain about Ashley. Yes, thank you. That's nice. Actually, the horrible human being and all I would find to do is buy a potato sack with
Starting point is 00:39:17 glitter on me. And then she comes in there and she starts telling me, I'm miserable and I'm waiting for you. No man wants me. Oh no, no honey that's not how it started you started coming after Ashley who was there to be nice and trying to be nice helping you have address and then start a screen get her and called her husband old and gay what the hell yeah fucking well you know because they all you know because the most fun this show has is when the old women go after the young woman
Starting point is 00:39:46 That's you know, so just there's just rallying around the dreamy thing. I was trying to stop him and she started attacking me Yeah, and then just felt like oh, no, no, no It's not funny. It's not funny She's like did you tell the joke about the sperm how they die because he's old Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, I wish they had that champagne that way I could be drunk and love. Am I right? Eat the crack off the cake stand anime What so why is Beyonce like anime anyway? No, it's not anime. It's Anna never mind So Jacelle is already ready to go right so she's like how could she talk about asking that? It's not her job? How dare she respect
Starting point is 00:40:45 Robin and her relationship? If someone's going to do that, it's going to be us because we're real friends. Yeah. Like you just totally ignored this woman for a whole year. Then went on national TV and tried to put cover divorce settlement by saying she's been fucking some fireman. So please stop pretending to be your like the best friend in the world. Yeah, let's leave. Let's let's drop that whole act. Yeah, I'm sure he's just like, well, it's not about me. Sounds good.
Starting point is 00:41:09 Yeah. So then we go over to Chris and Monique, who are now showing up at their pastor's place, the pastor and the wife. And Monique's like, well, we got the house in Patem, and they accepted the offer. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was so confused because I missed some detail in there in the beginning. Ielman, they accepted the offer, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I was so confused because I missed some detail in there in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:41:27 I was like, did the pastor sell her the house? Why is she signing the paperwork of the house at the pastor? And then I learned and I saw that, oh, the pastor's wife was the real estate agent. I was like, oh, I was so confused at first. And she even brags to the real estate people she's like well We're getting that house. We're about to pay four point five million dollars She's like I know the pastor and first lady for ten years. There are realtors pastors God parents gardeners baby sitters Cobbles cleaners fish tank cleaners.
Starting point is 00:42:07 Side yard movers. So then they start talking, and the pastor starts giving out advice, and the pastor starts saying, like, well, for Monique, you got to remember that Chris is the number one. And Chris, you remember that Monique is number one. You know, after God, you know, because there's a difference between love and being in love.
Starting point is 00:42:30 I mean, Monique goes, that's deep. I was like, is it? Is it deep? I think it was a bad deep as out of aquarium. We know love and love. We think about it like that. Okay. In love is when you want to go on a day.
Starting point is 00:42:44 Love is when your wife is falling your tent underwear and pretending it's cute. The pastor's like, as I always say, there's no use trying over spilt milk. Ain't that the truth? Oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, as I always say, when there's spilt milk, call the pastor. They'll clean it up
Starting point is 00:43:06 Here's a five you can't have your cake and eat it to Actually, I have two cakes so that way I can eat one and have the other one She really does on the right five the cakes already Your cake and not have Chrissy did all too so The cake and not have Chrissy at all too. So the pastor and I love whenever there's a pastor on this show because they get so pastry. And he is what you need to believe, girl. I'm like, okay, you're not in church. You can calm down. And Monique says, well, pastor, we're
Starting point is 00:43:39 in a really good place in our marriage, but I need other advice because Jezebel. I mean, Jezebel, like nothing like being caddy in the pastor's office. I know. And of course, my first mind was that my first instinct was that she was talking about the website, Jezebel. I was like, oh, she read something on Jezebel. I was like, oh, wait. You can see where my mind is always at. I was like mediocre films from the 50s, and then the past goes, Monique, did you call her a trick? She's like, I did, I did. Because it reminded me of Chris' mom,
Starting point is 00:44:18 and I'm like, whoa. And Monique starts to cry. And Monique starts to cry. Chris goes, baby, you, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I just happened to want to have a 500-man on top of me You put five truckloads where the poop everything and as I do where they could cover my house Did ten din first bugs? How awful is it though for real for real though how awful is it that Chris's mom wants respect. I mean I'm so rude so rude
Starting point is 00:45:03 It's like moms just think they deserve respect because their moms earn it, bitch. I know. Like for real, like no, you don't, like you're what, you're a mom, and it's Mother's Day weekend, and you want quote unquote respect. I mean, please.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Drink. It should be called mom. Why don't you make a fucking effort day? Yeah, okay. So then Monique is like maybe Jizelle is someone who puts her hurt on other people like oh really you think you think what gave you that huge idea she just went through a traumatizing divorce and is nasty to everyone she's jealous of what makes you think that Monique that I think maybe she wants one of our five houses or maybe it's my happy marriage or maybe it's my millions of dollars or maybe the famous rich husband I didn't try to get married to it just happened.
Starting point is 00:45:56 So what's up with this bitch saying nobody else can expect respect but she expects respect right away. Why is it that she would get respect from everybody automatically, but they wouldn't get respect. Well, it's the paradox. It's that, well, that's why she had to learn. But it means why she's rich and married to a famous man. Well, that's because we hold ourselves a double-sane. I mean, there's so many times that we, you know, attack people for things that we are guilty of. And that's what a pastor was, and that's, I mean, like, hello, look at our podcast. I mean, if any of these people basically clap back
Starting point is 00:46:29 and I'll be like, you're right, I'm sorry. So it's true. And I've learned, I've said it many times. I learned so much about myself on the show because once I learned that I was mad at myself, it explains so much. Yeah, self-loathing, it's great. So the pastor, the pastor's based, like, so many,
Starting point is 00:46:44 you should probably apologize to yourself She's like what he's like yeah, well you have to do is you have to offer yourself in humility aka you brag too much Yes, he's right woman of God Why I'm this see this she want to talk and she's like well, oh yeah, Christina Raphson She's like well, I'm gonna mouth the money. That's what everybody says Yeah she interrupts him. She's like, well, I'm gonna melt the money. That's what everybody says. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't know if that she really owes Jazelle an apology to be honest, but she could offer herself up in more humility. That's for sure. And she could try to actually connect with Jazelle and listen and hear what Jazelle has to say, rather than talk about her
Starting point is 00:47:21 five houses and her, you know, five hundred just kind of proves Jacelle's point. And it gives her something to fight back with. If you just call Jacelle and you're like, look, here's how I felt. I'm coming to you because I actually wanna be friends. I know we're different and I know that I annoy you, but here we are together in a friend group. So tell me what bothers you about me.
Starting point is 00:47:41 And let's try and figure out how it can change. And if the Jaceell wants to change that, she'll sit later great, but she won't anyway. But just to get her to stop fucking yelling at her, be like, you know what? You can use my house for a charity event whenever you want. That's gonna be nice to you. I guarantee it.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Or just ask for advice. People love that. If you ask someone for advice, they suddenly feel important and special. It should be like, Jizzell, you know, I've been thinking, you've got great style. Where do you, like, where do you, where do you get it? How does someone like you do it all?
Starting point is 00:48:08 How do you do it all, Jazeal? And then Jazeal would like you. Well, I do it because Sheree's has been fucking a fireman for an entire year and not telling your husband and that's where my style comes from. Good talk, Monique. Good talk. So then,
Starting point is 00:48:22 can't change Jazeal. So then Karen and Ray, they are now like piling themselves into a car to drive off because there's going to be an open house. And I like that Karen and Ray have just become this sweet old couple that putters around the fringes of the show now. They don't really, they're not really involved with everything.
Starting point is 00:48:37 They just sort of are always in a car. Ray's always dressed up in a blazer in a tie. Like you can go somewhere special. They just drive around. Here we are, Ray, in the car. Do you like my hair? Because I got bangs in the ponytail, babe. And he's like, things in a ponytail.
Starting point is 00:48:52 I love it. She's like, yes, thanks, Ray. Now whose idea was it to sell anyway? Ray, slow down, Ray. Slow down, Ray. You know, they don't make you go like this anymore. So we can't get a replacement part if you crash it. Open houses will never happen
Starting point is 00:49:07 in a huge row thank you so they have a private showing of the house and uh... carren carren's like well i hope they fall in love with my favorite part of the house the grand for a day and then they cut to the people and she's like, well, this is big, it's a little dated. And it's big.
Starting point is 00:49:27 And then it cuts to caring going, uh, we've lived 20 years in Potomac Ray. He's like, you know how, how much an average person moves every two years. And she's like, I'm not average, Ray. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh. And then by, the buyers are just like cringing their nose. You say I'm not average Ray. Like oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And if they can't appreciate that then they don't deserve they you got home He's like those are the things that you put in there. And they've got stringing up like no ray those are cassette tapes
Starting point is 00:50:15 Then I called you cassette ray Record ray. Oh, what a day. What a day that was. So I like when the lady goes, are they going to update this stove in this dishwasher? You look at the kitchen and they've got non-matching marble. It's like, it's not even marble. It's basically like, oh, this is just, we don't know what this is. As we call it France, it's for me, cal le pasons.
Starting point is 00:50:49 They're like, oh, that's lovely. That's lovely. This is made from several penny fardings that have been melted down into a solid pattern. So the guests basically are like, well, it's a little dated. I mean, can the price come down? And the realtor is like, we'll do anything. Just put in an offer.
Starting point is 00:51:09 We'll talk them into anything. Just please put it in an offer. It's like, wow, there's your hardcore realtor. You're a strong realtor for you. Seriously, maybe the host of hometown can come in and spruce it up. So my least favorite shirt. listen to the bonus episode everyone. So, then we go over to Sarath, who is with her honky, I think, Ragh.
Starting point is 00:51:34 And Ragh is explaining his... So, Shree says in a tiara, Jazeal comes in and Ragh starts explaining all the things he does. He's like, yeah, well, you know, I'm a resistant, I'm a stylist, I'm gonna make a, I facilitate her hair. I'm like, what does that even mean? You facilitate her hair. Are you like a special aid to the hair? Like welcoming the hair to its seat? I don't get this.
Starting point is 00:51:54 I was like, take off your mask, Porsche. Okay. No one fired you from real housewives about late. Yeah. I facilitate her hair. Yeah. Do we know why Shasha was wearing a tiara? I didn't understand that.
Starting point is 00:52:06 Because this is my house and I'm the queen of my house. And I'm going to have a fan pain. Yeah. Yeah. So she's like, look, I'm kind of in there. I've been saying, well, we're going to do a problem. And just I was like, brutal honesty. If I say something crazy, you got to have my back.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Teresa's like, brutal honesty. If I say something crazy, you got to have my back. Shreece is like, yeah. So Robin and Jazell come over. Shreece shows them the champagne room. And one thing that really disgusted me was like, you know, it's like basically an empty room. That's just been demoed. And Shreece is walking around barefoot. I'm like, there could be a nail.
Starting point is 00:52:42 What are you doing? Put on like a flip flop. I'm actually rooting be a nail. What are you doing? Put on like a flip flop. I'm actually rooting for the nail. So Robin, uh, Robin arrives and they, yeah, they look at the room. I'm like, oh, champagne. It's a lot of champagne. And sure, he's just like, I love champagne. I would eat it, drink it, puff it. I love champagne. She said, I love champagne. This house house just demo the whole house. Okay. Yeah. So she starts showing them plans on her phone of what it's kind of look like. And I'm like, you stole that from property, brother. It's like one of those 3D drawing things they do. I ain't buying it. It wasn't even property, brothers. It was that show with Reza. Whatever that was called. I don't remember. It's
Starting point is 00:53:22 all done in like water colors and colored pencils. She's like look look at my new home They said this is they said they'll do for me and that's like all she gets is just a schematic No more. She sells like this is beautiful But my awfulness is actually echoing here. Do you have a patio of sweaty cheese? Don't be great. Have you put the crackers out on the cake pedestal yet great? So Sharree starts talking about Ashley being in a public at and and they were horrible for me. I was just talking about normal things and they attacked me and called me a move of the being alone and they robbed
Starting point is 00:53:58 them. She's one of those people who's sitting in a glass house and just all because throwing stones is a 20 year old. That's what 20 rolls do best. Yeah, Robin and Robin Bayce tells us that she's going to pull out of the Oz event, which I think is funny, since Ashley does enjoy the pull out method. But she's just sick of Ashley and just wants to be disentangled from it. And they're giving her a sit for being young and then
Starting point is 00:54:24 Sharice starts doing that twerk thing on the couch, like making fun of her for being young. And I'm like, why is it okay for you to give her a sit for being young, what she says one thing about your age and you guys have a season long cross on your back? Yeah, exactly. So they're like, yeah, that actually, she really is throwing rocks and glass houses.
Starting point is 00:54:44 She's saying things that she shouldn't be talking about so Shreece I mean so Robin How do you feel about these numbers? She goes Ashley runs her mouth like a motorboat and it's always up to me to set her straight and I cannot believe she talked to you like that Now now wearing your business How does it feel? Jesus, she goes, how does it feel when Ashley says your husband is sleeping with all of Potomac? And she goes, well, she didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:55:14 I mean, she's just beating a dead horse. It's like, oh God, now she's beating you. Come on. No, so it's. No one can. So then it's more of the same stuff where Jacelle and Shreece are saying that they just want the best Robin They want Robin to win and you know you can't give it the best you and Rob is like What is all this on his own time?
Starting point is 00:55:33 And someone tells me that one is cheating. I'm not gonna confront him because we have kids. What? I mean she does say well, you know, it's like financially, it makes more sense for us now just put up the money. And we just live under the same roof. And they're like, okay, well, that makes sense. But nothing else, you say make sense. Yeah. And then she tries the whole thing. Well, just like he cheated divorce, you take him back, you make
Starting point is 00:56:02 him food, raises his kids, but you can't ask about a sidepiece what is it a wing a breast a foot a giblet a kidney in her chicken because she talked about KFC last week too and she didn't this make me hungry. So then Robin tries her well he's the one who wants a relationship with me, but I'm closed off. And if I say it works for me, you should trust me. Uh, you know, no. Well, I mean, I get that. I mean, it's none of their business, but at the same time, you know, nothing, certain things are not adding up. He wants to be with you, but he's, but if he's with other people,
Starting point is 00:56:46 if he is telling you that he wants to be with you, but then he's with other people, then then things are not adding up. Then there's some dishonesty and you're sleeping with dishonesty. I don't know. I think that they have a right to voice their concern at that level and Robin has a right to say, I think they do.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Yeah, I think that Robin in this case, she doesn't have to live her life for anyone except herself. And so she can keep doing this. But kind of what they're saying is you're probably going to hurt yourself in the long run. It might be fine now, but it's going to hurt the long run. And I'll say it might be bad for the kids in the long run. We don't know. So.
Starting point is 00:57:22 Yeah, you can fool yourself and that's your right. And she, you can fool yourself. And that's your right. And she knows what her relationship is. And she's deciding to try and make it work anyway. And that's her right. But if people, if your friends don't tell you the truth, then you'll really start to believe your own bullshit. And that's when it's hard, you know, that's when it'll ruin your life. But she knows what she's doing.
Starting point is 00:57:41 And if she wants to do it, then go, you know, good for her. Yeah. I mean, not good for her, but do what you will. Yeah, exactly. At this point, I'd settled for a man who's like, cute, barely wants to talk or pay any kind of attention to me, but I get the occasional late night lay. That's really all I want in my life. I don't want somebody up in my head off anyway. So there are worse people to get the late night lay from than one Dixon
Starting point is 00:58:06 all You know what I'm saying you know I'm saying and Teresa's like do you have a therapist because I I found one that works for free on the internet that I saw in Atlanta Maybe he can say think the whole different way and like you showed up to a party two days ago sobbing So I like Dr. Jeff. I liked I liked him a lot I thought he was really good on Atlanta. His only problem is that Neenie was an asshole and like ruined everything Neenie Neenie come back Neenie Neenie come back Neenie
Starting point is 00:58:41 Lucy No, Robin doesn't need a pussy who needs to feel her feelings. She needs someone. She needs like a doctor Laura to be like listen bitch. Yeah, this is your fault. She'll be cool. Wait a minute. Well, no, she doesn't she does need a she doesn't need a doctor. Doctor what's what's Jeff? Because she if I didn't someone gives her tough love. She's just gonna like her walls will be up, but I think she needs someone just sort of to hold her hand and be like okay Robin so you're really damaged and you may not realize it but you're super damaged you know well I think that you can this is probably going too deep for this but you can see by the way just her kids treat her and then the way they treat the dad I mean she says she's staying there for the kids but you're basically showing two young men
Starting point is 00:59:27 what it's like to not give a woman respect. That's a great treater, however you want, and go date other people, and they give her a no respect. They do treat her like a doormat. So you're not really doing your kids favors either. So she needs a doctor, Laura, so it would be like, you're hurting your kids. And she'll be like, oh, okay, I'll be for the kids.
Starting point is 00:59:44 That's a, you know, Ronnie, that was a really good point. I totally think that was probably the strongest point in all of this, which is that I'm like, this is a second father related on a childhood. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pretty much it for Ptiel Mick. Next week it looks like they're gonna be,
Starting point is 01:00:00 Dr. Jeff will make his appearance, and there'll be some tears and some fighting which is good. And we have Mother's Day weekend coming up, but before we embark on a weekend of joy and festivities, we do have to dip our old hands into the crap and smell back. I was like it's Friday, and we're supposed to be doing something on Friday and this is it. So this question, by the way the Crabid's Mailbag is something on Patreon. If you want to have your question read on the air, go to Crabid's Mailbag. Go to Patreon and sign up at the Crabid's Mailbag level.
Starting point is 01:00:39 So this is from Lordus Gavilanis. Gavilanis. Gavilanis. Lordus Gavilanus, Gavilanus Gavilanus, Lordus G. Lordus, she says, In the throes of breakup torpor, this thought at 3 a.m. made me smile. Luke and Mikey stuck in traffic. Jules is driving. They're late. Go. First of all, Lordus, sorry that you're in breakup torpor, torpor, that sucks. Huh?
Starting point is 01:01:07 It was his fault. Yeah, always his fault. Always his fault. Okay, Luke, I'm assuming Luke from Ladies of London and Mikey from Beverly Hills, they're stuck in traffic and jewels is the driver and they're late. First of all, I'm just gonna say I feel like Luke's just gonna be like, all right, all right. All right. I don't think he's gonna say anything more than that.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Luke and Jules. But! Ladies of London Jules. Yeah, I'm assuming it's ladies of London Jules and not real houses from New York City Jules. My vagina. Did I met your vagina hurts? I was trying to climb out the window of this car,
Starting point is 01:01:44 and I hit it. Oh, God, are you rolling up the window? Oh, my God, my vagina's rolling I was trying to climb out the window of this car and I hit it Oh, god, are you rolling up the window? Oh my god my vagina's broken. Hey Luke. Hey Luke look in the glove box What do you see what's in there? He's like there's a fork. Yeah, there's a fork in the glove box. I hit it in there Isn't that funny? Darling, it's been wonderful to drive in the car with you Luke to drive in the car with you Luke. Fortunately, I'm so, but now you have a mere darling, a mere that I could lay flat down. Do you have a razor darling?
Starting point is 01:02:12 Where you? Mikey's in the back seat. Yes, bitch. Go to that light, bitch. Next level. Merge, bitch. Merge. I love to merge with many men because I'm single. I can merge with whoever I want.
Starting point is 01:02:33 I merge with a dull man yesterday and an actual door into separate days. Laughing young, being young. I'm confused. Did you put Lisa Vanderbump in this car? No, it's June. It's June. Ladies of London. June.
Starting point is 01:02:52 Isn't that June? No, I don't know who that was. That's the friend who was the drug addict and was divorced. No, I was always cracking them up. Fucking views. What was her name? The new one. The you one her name was Never with that
Starting point is 01:03:11 I like it's like look just because you lost your children and you won't be Visitation right no one likes you knew an ex-drog addict with no friends and no money Doesn't mean I should forgive you for acting up at a party that was ridiculous But I love you! She spoke like this. I'm too high. Time to win. I honestly keep on saying Auntia, but that was from the...
Starting point is 01:03:35 Oh, it was close. You're close. Oh my god. It's Althea? No, it wasn't Althea. It was. Um, we're just starting with an S. It was like I
Starting point is 01:03:45 Shit If I just That that was such a fucking Caroline Stambury friend ladies of London what was her name? I'm looking right now Adela or Adele Adele Adele No jewels is my hand jewels. Oh Jewel oh Juliet Angus or
Starting point is 01:04:22 Jewels oh man Jules Jules could go for either one of them. I Like we still just still trying to figure out our scenario Yeah, who's in the car sorry we gave it to Luke and Adela we actually put in Jules Weinstein in the car Delas snuck in Mikey was there for a merge You know that Caroline Fleming said the Beverly Hills Hotel right now, do you realize how close we are to Caroline Fleming? Is that not, did you see her Instagram story? Well, why don't we just go over there?
Starting point is 01:04:51 What the hell are we still talking for? I know. Wait, let me play her Instagram story because I put it on, maybe you can hear it through the microphone because she talks about pancakes. Let's see, come on, I hope it's still there. I'm so proud of my beautiful friend, Deborah, who is the genius designer behind all of these completely incredible handbags that
Starting point is 01:05:16 I love and adore. That was not what I was expecting to come up, but I played it because I was really into it. The pancake thing is gone. She had a thing up with pancakes at an Instagram store, and she's like, here are some wonderful pancakes with blueberries and bacon, raspberries. Now here's the handbags that I absolutely adore. How lucky are the handbags. How lucky are you to have these handbags.
Starting point is 01:05:45 How lucky are you to have these handbags for the blue breeze, straw breeze. A lot of housewives sell handbags. They really, they must be easy to make. Here's a question. This one segues right from what we're talking about. Alison King, she goes, not sure if you've already done this,
Starting point is 01:06:05 but I create the conversation between Caroline Fleming and Ramona about when they were little girls. Who do you wanna be? So who is it again? Caroline Fleming and who else? Ramona. Oh my God, okay. Well, you pick, I don't care, I like them both.
Starting point is 01:06:21 I like them both too, I don't know. I'll be Ramona. Okay. Oh Ramona, how lucky are you to be in my home? My great, great, great, grand father. Built this home in the Berkshire's. Whoa, whoa, that's crazy. I'm just remembering right now, my great-great-great-great-grandfather. He was Danish just like you, and he loved to eat Danishes, and that's what I was told. And one time when I was a little girl, I thought, well, you know what I'm going to do as tribute to my great-great-great-great-grandfather who was never murdered.
Starting point is 01:07:00 I decided I was going to have a Danish too. And Geraldine Parsonsmith said, no, you should need that. It'll just make you fat. You should need anything at all except for rice and beans. And to this day, I've never had a pastry. I'm sorv-y. I'm sorv-y Caroline Fleming, but I don't need pastries based on your people. Ah, well, so funny you should mention that because...
Starting point is 01:07:20 My great-great-great-great-great-grandfather once asked for a Danish at his friend's home, and the friend told him, we don't serve Danishes, and my great-great-great-great-grandfather said, how unsplendently unlucky are you? I shall murder you now for having no Danishes. He chopped off his head you now for having no tainishes. He chopped off his head and built a Danish shop on top of it. It must have been your great great great great great great grandfather. Oh oh oh oh. I'm sorry but murderous day class A. I'm sorry I'm sorry you shouldn't be doing that. And if I ever have a Danish which I don't think I will because what you did was so day class A but if I were to have, I would have it on a plate that was yellow, because yellow reminds me of sunshine. What do you think about sunshine?
Starting point is 01:08:09 Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, Dope, sorry, I bet you should hold my back. Oh, that's crazy. Crazy. I always eat almond butter on my Danishes that I don't eat, which is weird. I put me on my butter on it and then I lick it off the Danish because I refuse to eat Danishes for all the reasons I already explained to you. Okay? Slow fade, slow fade, slow fade.
Starting point is 01:08:37 Ebel skewers. Ebel skewers. Now what do you think of cobalms? Now what do you think of Cobbobbs? What do I can Bob? Get it. Swore. You were doing that all the skewers are right. Okay, have a quick, something on the plate.
Starting point is 01:08:55 Sorry. Swore. Slow fade. And that's the show everyone. Thanks for listening. Bye everybody. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
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