Watch What Crappens - #461 RHOP & Cabo: Who's Eating Emu (or Agu)?
Episode Date: May 23, 2017Emu isn't the only thing on the menu at Oz. On this week's Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle and Robyn get their fingers all up in Ashley's business (literally). Then it's on to our new fa...vorite show, Invite Only Cabo, where Emily and Agu engage in a "cuddle" session, thus consecrating their official couple name, which ironically is "Emu." Their scandal is trumped only by the revelation that not all topics birthed on an elliptical machine can be considered LIGHT. Come listen to our recaps! 00:00:00 - Real Housewives of Potomac 00:49:27 - Invite Only Cabo See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
This episode of Watch Your Crap is brought to you by our premium Patreon sponsors,
Kelly Barlow, Cindy Gerson, Mia Hanson Aloha,
Chrissy D'Aurry, and Madonna Horns. Thank you all. to talk to other crapens listeners about the shows as they air come over to Facebook.com
slash watch what crap ends and to follow us on social media go to watchocrapens.com to
find all our social media links and for our bonus episodes and all of our extras come
over and be a premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash
watch what crap ends.
Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends a podcast about all that crap on Bravo
that we love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from BissideBlog.com and the Bantler Blender podcast and joining me
as always is the fast talking straight talking man of New York Ronnie Caram from trash talk TV.com and
The Rose Bricks bachelor podcast coming back to cover the bachelor ret what's up Ronnie?
Well, hello, man straight talk a straight talk a little straight talk straight talk. It's a dolly pardon
Yeah, thanks for saying straight talk because now dollies in my mind and you can't have a bad day with Dolly on your mind again
Absolutely cannot
Ronnie is still in New York City still
Still walking through the masses
admiring
Admiring all the fashions on Fifth Avenue putting on kids to shop better
Slap and people so he can get into the cab, singing
along to steel drum bands, he's having a great time.
The meeting.
Did you tie up Seth Green at FAO shorts again?
Those are big business references for those of you who don't get those.
Watch that film so you can understand more of what we're talking about.
This is not only a Bravo podcast.
It's a reminder that movies never die
and you should go back and watch the best films
from the 80s and 90s, okay?
Yeah, if you're new to this podcast,
you should know that we make a lot of references
to big business, soap, dish, and bullets over Broadway.
So if you haven't seen those movies,
queue them up because they'll make your life better.
We are already in a crazy place,
and it's our first show of the weeks.
It is.
There you go.
Yeah, it is a crazy time.
It's a crazy Monday.
It's madness.
It's so many things are happening in my brain.
So today, we are going to talk about Real House
as a Potomac and Invite Only Cabo, which is
in its second episode.
And by the way, I'm really, really loving that show.
I'm like, I'm all about it.
I think that format of people stuck in a house in somewhere like in a vacation area, I
think it works for me because I love Summer House.
I love Jersey Shore.
And the idea of it, where it's one guy's friends come together
and he usually doesn't mix them, is perfect because that's what I'm doing here in New York.
My first night out, I took friends from all different times of my life
and put them together and just watch them hate each other.
It's perfect. It's perfect.
Invite only Ronnie Carram.
No one should their
Lee press on nails off. Otherwise it was pretty similar. Well you just wait.
You still have a few more days in your trip. You only gave a goo a ham job. But
no, we're trying guys. Speaking of you and others, we also recorded a bonus
episode which we'll release either today or tomorrow where we have plenty of stories about Ronnie's
trip to New York and how I met the cast of Invite Only Cabo and other things
like some interesting interactions with Lala Kent from Vanderpump Rules.
So keep an eye out for that and if you have no idea what we're talking about,
the bonus episode you get when you subscribe on Patreon.
So we have some good stories and we also talk just a shade about Twin Peaks, and that's
something that we're going to talk about more probably on next week's bonus episode.
So if you're watching the new Twin Peaks, then you should tune in for that, because I
think we're going to have a lot of fun talking about the new season of that show.
Oh, yeah! Which has nothing to do with Bravo, but I think it's Bravo.
Well, actually, it's sort of does because they used to show episodes of Twin Peaks on
Trio, I believe, and Trio was taken over by Bravo.
So there is a very, very remote connection.
Oh, Smalla, there you go.
All right.
Well, let's get on with it.
What do you want to do first, Potomac or Embide Only? Well, let's do Potomac because they're real housewives and real
housewives almost always take precedence and we haven't seen them in two weeks. So let's get
reacquainted with our ladies from the mid-Atlantic. Well, as usual, I watch this show every week.
I'm sorry, I have to make an announcement before you start telling your story. I want to make a
general announcement to the listeners of Watercraftens that when I impersonate Chris Samuels, I will no longer
no longer bust out your ears. I had no idea that every time I did his big jolly green giant voice,
I'd get close to the mic because I thought it would sound more like reverberation
But instead it was just like making everyone go crazy. I had a few people at the live show say
Please stop doing that and I've gotten a few tweets and e-mails and over the past week saying please stop doing that
So okay apologies. I will try not to max out your ears. Oh, yeah
I looked like an acrobat sometimes when we record because I I
screamed so much on this show I have to like. So it looks like I'm just like dodging the
mic up and down. Yes. So every time you watch robotics, probably boxing would be a better
way to say that. My brain is literally crawling right now.
Okay. So I watch a show every week and I still am noticed, I always noticed new things in the
opening as usual, but Monique, I may be rough around the edges, but baby, so we're diamonds.
I'm like, there are so many gross things that are rough around the edges.
Diamonds are like so smooth and cut,
you know. Yeah, well they start out as rough and then they wind up smooth and cut. However,
you know, the thing is this, a diamond may start out rough, but at least it gets that point of being just spectacular. Exactly.
You know, it's like saying, I'm an uncut slab of marble.
Well, who can use that on their kitchen sink?
No, I mean, it's going to give a rough diamond to someone.
Nobody wants a fucking rough diamond, okay?
Polish your shit, Mozik.
Get your shit polished.
Get that shit princess cut.
Yeah, exactly. You know what else is rough around the edges? A torn piece of paper. That's
what you are, moat. You're not even suitable for origami. I may be shitty, but there's poop
bags if anybody wants to use them. Like no, pick up your pee. That's funny.
I may be shitty, you guys.
But even Julia Roberts shits.
No, no, you're not.
No, that doesn't make you, no.
I think I might still be drunk from yesterday,
but I swear to God I did not morning drink today.
I've had half of my iced coffee,
and I'm feeling really, you know when you sometimes feel weirdly caffeinated where your eyes can't really focus
It's like hitting me that way today. So that's why I was having a hard time even articulating myself about a rough edge to diamond
I'm sorry my diamond banter was not really up to snuff today everyone I apologize
And I went from I went from uncut diamonds to marble to shit. Like that literally makes no sense.
Yeah, we really were not operating at a high level today.
We're like, what's a good analogy for this?
Fee seas.
Also, I'm going to say literally every other word
to deal with it, OK?
So Monique and Hank, speaking of an unpolished diamonds,
let's go to Monique and Hank at their original house
because this is where it all began.
Yeah, at the National Burnhouse.
Chris is first home.
Yes, and Monique is so busy taking care of all their homes
because she is the house manager of all their homes,
you guys, not just one or two.
And she has to keep things happening.
Like if there's a pipe broke in,
she has to tell Hank to do something about it.
If there's a scratch on a corner outside,
she's like, that's still not taking care of.
That scratches a taking care of.
I mean, this house is really looking
rough around the edges, like a diamond.
That's how she should put her Airbnb listing.
This has a little rough around the edges, but there are diamonds. Enjoy your sheets on a floor. Enjoy
wearing this house on your wedding finger. Enjoy all your splinters that you get
walking around. Enjoy your ex-those wires and pipes. Diamond. Hasht hashtag diamond has. So they're looking around and she's giving him a list of things to do.
And she's telling us how is this where she starts talking about how she got married.
Maybe that's later.
Maybe you know, it's weird.
I was totally sober when I washed this, but I'm remembering the episode like through a
drunken haze.
I don't think the only note that I wrote down from the scene is that she went to the house and then she was like, oh, look, there's some of this is exposed. Hank and he's like, oh, yeah, I was gonna take care of that. She's like, oh, yeah, she's like, there's a crack in that wall. You know what, Hank, let's sit down for a second. Let's put a fish tank in there.
I'm not sure if I can get a
chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get
a chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a
chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a chance to get a You know the rule of spades. Okay, meet a good turn. Hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang, hang. We have one more thing.
This wine is actually $250, but I got it for $75.
Okay, meeting adjourned.
Hang, I brought an aerator for this.
Okay, I'm going to use the aerator as a gavill.
Okay, meet a good done make.
Fix that crack.
Fix that crack, hang. Okay, Mutig is done, mate. Fix that crack.
Fix that crack, cake.
Okay, so next up is Karen and Angela from pavement.
I was like, oh my God, finally,
a housewife is gonna have a charity
to fix some potholes.
I mean, that's the charity I can get behind.
I ride a scooter.
I've almost died five times on potholes.
You never see him coming.
Well, unfortunately for you,
but probably fortunate for many more people
is that this charity is called Pave,
which is, I forget what it stands for,
but basically they're a charity for rape victims.
And it's actually one of being a very,
I thought a very emotional scene
because Karen opened up and
talked about being raped in college. And I mean, I don't, I
don't have any jokes to make about this because this was
actually, this was like a full on like serious emotional. And
I thought I was actually very involved in the scene. Well,
in terms of like I was listening, I was listening, I was
processing, I thought it was like very emotional. Wow, Ben,
you didn't take time to write rape jokes. Lazy, lazy Ben. I'm sorry, everyone, if you're
waiting for my good rape joke material, I really thought it was not appropriate at this time.
Oh, man. Good effort, Ben. Yeah, I didn't, don't worry, I didn't write any rape jokes either, but
for Ben. Yeah, I didn't don't worry.
I didn't write any rape jokes either,
but I just thought it was funny when she started saying,
you know, I want my daughter to understand self-defense.
So I took her to a self-defense course.
I was like, she didn't learn anything.
That was one class you took on camera
and you slapped her around a dummy.
She says, I beat the hell out of that dummy,
that class.
So then after this like very emotional scene,
the producers were like, hey, you know what?
This show's been off the air for two weeks.
Let's remind people why they should be watching.
And we just get into a Jacelle and Robyn are in a car
and they're angry.
And they're angry at Ashley.
They're pissed that Ashley was talking about
one and one and one and date other people and stuff like that. Giselle is just sitting there. I don't
know how she can both drive and wind like that because she's just like a wind in Robbins crank
because Robbins is very low energy. I mean to get Robin to feel anything you have to be like wake up wake up wake up
Wind Frank Frank Frank you're like you're mad you're mad you're mad you're mad because she said that about one remember
Well, I mean you know she's nice. No, you're mad. You're super mad
driving at the eye of a man. Hmm. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and then they're like, they're like, let's just go to Oz. Let's go to Oz right now with Confrontor because surely it will be empty.
No one will miss him. No one will mind if we make a scene there.
But as luck would have it, it's the very first time Oz has ever been busy.
Why is this refrigerator always leaking?
Actually, I have to go on the floor too, because my staff is complaining.
I'm not on the floor.
Like, it's not
hard enough owning the restaurant. Leaky fridge. It's like
just when it everything's falling apart. Monink has a cracked
corner in her rental home and this one's got a leaky fridge.
You guys are really upping the stakes this season. I know so the girl is a Robin and and
Just all walk into
Oz and actually like
What is surprise?
And then Robin just goes you know what you need to say the fuck up out of my business. She's like what
No, I don't want to sit down. I just think you sit on my business.
What business?
You got a job?
Congratulations!
No, my one business.
Um, does this mean you want an appetizer?
Well, maybe.
But say the fuck about my business anyway.
Do you want an e-moot goat cheeseball?
Uh, okay.
We've got kangaroo pouch wraps.
We have koala fried chicken.
Chicken fried koala.
Chicken fried koala.
Oh my god, this restaurant business is so hard. This fight is so stupid because
Robin doesn't even really care. She's just like, okay, so we'll go in there and I'll tell her
stop talking about one. So Jacelle's like trying to give her lines. She's like, well,
you told me at a party you were concerned and I left and you continued to drop top trash and Ashley's like, uh, I just said it to your face. And
she's an Ashley's like, she's like, well, stop it. She goes, you don't see how me what
to do. And so Robin gets her finger in her face. You better get this finger out of my face.
And Robin goes, I'm going to put this finger in your face. She's like, you better get it
out of my face. No, I'm gonna put this finger in your face she's like you better get it out of my face no I'm gonna put it in your face oh it's my
finger in your face I'm like just out give her a line they're just saying
finger in my face over and over well though I thought Robin this was a good
moment for Robin because she's like this isn't my finger in your face this is
my finger in your face she gets her finger like right in her face because she's like, this isn't my finger in your face, this is my finger in your face.
She gets her finger right in her face and she's like,
Wee-eyed sisters trying to jump on someone again.
That's like now Ash's new thing is calling them green-eyed sisters, which I feel like
is actually weirdly fucked up.
I think it's sort of some weird, like, it's connoting some weird light skin, whatever,
or something other, or I don't know what it is.
Maybe that's just me bringing my own.
Well, that was last year's plot with the light skined girls
going up against the Jewish girl.
Like, you can't be Jewish, man.
You know, I do miss fights around the outdoor air conditioning
units.
I have to admit, that wasn't nice.
That wasn't nice venue for a
Potomac fight. Yes. Yeah, that was a real side yard party. So yeah, she's like, um, thing on my face.
One, two, three, four. I declare a finger battle. That doesn't even rhyme Robin. Look,
I'm going to write my fingers for you. Yeah, so. then just else starts repeating herself and she goes
Don't talk about one. Don't talk about one. Don't talk about one. Don't talk about one. Don't talk about one
Don't talk about one. So Ash is like about one. Fine. She's basically actually like fine
I won't now I want you to leave and then jealous and then Rob was like thank you
And you know, just I was like wait, well that was too easy. So then she's like, you and you know, just I was like wait well that was too easy So then she's like you know what and also you owe Sheree's an apology by the way
You know just else on apology
And she goes she goes you owe her an apology to she will drag you and after she goes where and she says open the river and through the what?
Where they have real food why is she taking me to grandmother's house?
So, Jacelle's like, you've been a stay in your lane. And actually, I was saying my lane,
because my lane is very busy. So it's hard to get through my lane. There's so much traffic
in my lane. It stands still in my lane. What about your lane? And she's like, really?
You're a failing restaurant? Oh, no. The failing restaurant and failing husband lane.
Yeah, that's Giselle. Yeah, she goes, you're failing restaurant. And then Ashley's like, really,
your preacher has been impregnated everybody in your church. And you don't have a job. So pretty much.
church and you don't have a job. So pretty much. But either way, Jizzel's just else is sort of one because when Jizzel and Robin love the
restaurant as they walked out the door, Jizzel just yells out to the
restaurant, who's eating me, Moo?
I want some me, me. I was like, oh, burn. That's like getting in a
fight until he's and being like, Oh yeah, it wants to know some blossom.
Bye. It's like close to door behind.
Ooh, you sure got me.
Yeah, can I have some more ranch?
So then Ashley calls Michael
and she's saying,
just baby, this came in
and they were telling me they said
who wants to meet you.
And he's like, well,
I hope they didn't do that in front of the guests.
I will not touch the husband's assholes to another party again.
I'll tell you that much.
I'll go destroy their businesses next.
And she goes, what business is boo?
She's sort of right.
And actually, by the way, I don't think that Ashley is really that wrong in this fight.
I think they were being ridiculous.
I think she basically was saying
I don't know at the situation with Robin is but you know because Robin was alluding to the fact that Juan wanted to get with her And it's been it's always been Robbins issue like Robin has to get over it in order to get back with Juan
And so when Ashley hears that Juan's been dating other people in her mind. She's thinking I wonder if Robin is aware of this
This is what I heard like how should we, I wonder if Robin is aware of this, this is what I heard.
Like how should we, like I wonder if I should say something to her or not.
I think she was, that's what she was trying to do with Jazeal.
I don't know.
Yeah, but I think Ashley, I think Ashley just was wrong because she kept going to everybody.
I was like, guess what I heard, guess what I heard.
That's true.
She is gossipy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So she's trying to push it.
But Jazeal knows that people are going to start coming for her at the beginning
of the season because of the thaw thaw fight on what what happens. And so she basically
is just trying to turn the car around to run over Ashley. But yeah. And that's easy. Easy target.
Yes. Jizelle will fuck up soon. Give her time. Yeah. she's Jizo. So next is Shatha.
Shatha, she's shopping.
Though someone told me about it, have meet things.
I'm looking for a journal.
It's like great arc.
Yeah, she's, she's, she's, today's episode
it's a reach-saf-foot journal.
A journal that I can write in my hull-boy.
Meet things things journals. I heard this is an amazing store that
sells journals and other neat things of that such and like. Lava vamp, fart cushions,
it's not gezzooks. Man we do not sell journals here. So she is shopping for a journal because Dr.
Jeff told her that she should be journaling and she's there with her daughter
and they wind up talking about the divorce and how like is like has a daughter
feels everything okay and the daughter is so cute by the way what a cute cute
munchkin of a daughter even though she's 16
I'm talking about her like she's eight, but she's like really cute and
The daughter's like yeah, I'm fine like you guys have been in a loveless marriage all my life. I'm used to it by now
Yeah, she's like while we're trying on these things like reading glasses
I want to have a very serious meat conversation with you. I'm leaving her father. How do you feel?
She's like mom dad has not returned her calls for like 11 years. You're not leaving
that. He left you already, okay? She's like, he doesn't even work in Jersey anymore.
And he's still living there. He left you. And she's like, okay, it's okay. The cry.
Why is this about you? And then she's crying and the daughter's looking around.
And behind Cherice's head is a card rack.
And the car says, nope.
Thank you, Ben.
I wrote the tent.
I was like, oh, Ronnie will love this.
No, I laughed out loud.
Nope.
Yeah, it was basically just Cherice crying in a store.
And the daughter be like,
Can we leave this boring store?
I would too many price cards with those dogs on them.
I wish that I could feel for Sherees, but
Tha Tha, hoverboard and champagne room like I'm officially done.
I can't. I can't. Sherees, yeah, it just has never been able to work.
So then there's a scene of Monique and
Cruis going fishing did I do it right? There's everyone's ears. Okay. I like that new style
Yeah, no one's ears got blown out
So Monique and Chris go fishing which I thought was actually cute
Because Monique was basically saying how they first bonded over fishing and that she loves to fish and that he was really turned
on by the fact that she could bait her own hook.
I like that.
That was the point for Monique.
She never sheds up this girl.
She makes people crazy.
She's like, and then I put a warm on her head and then I caught a fish and he was like,
whoa, you can catch your own fish and put a warm?
That is amazing.
And when I knew you, you was a player.
Like I was 19, he was 25.
You know, it's one of those NFL fights,
dipping his toe in all these kinds of ponds,
these leddy ponds, and then we were just friends.
And he was like, you want to get married?
And I was like, no, and that won him.
And then I got him.
And then little, I know.
I know.
We have a fun relationship, but sometimes we fight,
but then we then we fish.
And it's all great.
He's like, bitch, I come out here to be quiet
Okay, be quiet. No
Yeah, she was I actually have concerns about their relationship because once again while they were sitting there
She starts saying you know, I mean no relationship is perfect
But you know, this is great. This is the time we needed just you know, but no relationship is perfect
But you know, this is a relationship we want and no relationship is perfect
I'm like if you say no relationship is perfect one more time on this show
I'm just gonna call the divorce attorney for you. Okay. Yeah
Every episode she's talked about how not fun this marriage is. I don't think she has long
I hope that she is part owner of all those homes
I also I really enjoyed when when Chris thought he was he's like, he's like, oh look at this!
I got a couch fish!
And then he like pulls up an eel, he's like, it's a eel!
And then he like, they take it off and he just like throws it down to the ground.
And Monique goes, Chris, you just let a belly flop, that's so ignorant!
And it was just, it really was,
it was just sort of like a layer.
She's like, like whatever eel.
The eel's like, I, a little assistant's please.
I'm so happy.
I don't have legs, you mother, efforts.
I mean, for some reason.
But eel, they did you notice that they edited
that you saw an eel in the water?
I don't know if they did that so they wouldn't have Pita up their ass away, but they cut to an eel in the water
I was like wait a minute. We didn't see the eel get in the water. How did that are we?
I thought the same thing. I was like oh, they had to show that it was like this eel swimming off to freedom
It was like the happiest eel. I
Don't know why the entire eel thing just cracked it. And I just loved when she called her
husband ignorant for throwing the eel just he's like, you just
let him belly flop on the ground like you can't just like throw
him in the water. It's like that is so ignorant. Oh, it just
cracked me up. That was like a really funny moment for me. And
that eel, I did feel bad for you. I feel bad for Chris, you know,
she's just like, and then it's an eel, then it's this and then it's that and he's like, well, I think some main problem is communication.
You won't stop communicating on it and you know, I think like you know one of the things that first attracted me to that Y'all was that you know
It was like on the water, but it's still flopping around and like having fun time
And I think that like I was playing hard to get with the y'all and you know the old like normally up
The y'all used to people being like I want to like eat you for dinner
And I was like no like let's just like hang out on this muddy like surface here and the y'all was like okay
Fine, and I just think that like what's still like I mean no no really shit is perfect with the nil
But I think we can get really good. I think it's a good time with the y'all
I mean, no relationship is perfect with an eel, but I think we can get really good.
I think it's a good time with the eel.
So next up, we have Karen planting flowers
that a community service project.
And she's like,
Jacelle's coming by.
Our friendship was formed on community service.
What sort of community service were they doing
when they became friends?
I think Karen almost ran Chisel over picking up side on the trash of the road, side of the
road after committing some petty crime or something.
So they end up just talking about this pavement thing coming up.
Or this paved thing coming up.
And it's like touching, you know, because it's like, you know, feelings, women empowerment.
Now, who shall I not invite to my gala
of pavement empowerment?
Yeah.
And just like, well, if you invite Ashley,
she might be telling somebody someone's business.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Which is then what Karen does immediately.
Because Karen's like, by the way,
Moneca called you a trick
I Would hate that yeah, and just else like well, I'm not even gonna tell her yet about the ambush because the ground on will not
Lackie and so she's like yeah, that's when she's like I'll give Monique a chance
But she did call you a trick
Just out goes was I there and she said no, and that's why I had to tell you and just Elgos you didn't why did you just no I didn't last
But I didn't defend your ass
Do you want a tube TV?
I
Like that Jacelle was all mad that she was called a trick. When she's in Mimal called like many different women whores and hos and everything like that.
And so Jacelle- She just did in the beginning of the season.
Yeah, so Jacelle is so mad about being called a trick.
And then she starts going on this rant.
Like, you know what?
Just proves that money doesn't buy you class or an education.
Which she clearly doesn't have because you can only speak in four letter words.
I'm like, oh, trick is five letters, but you know, you can work on that.
It's about TRK. Well, that's three letters.
TRIX, that's a serial.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her
laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how
much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted
narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. team jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative
designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can
lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out.
TRUK, that's not even Trunksville Properly. TRX, that's like an exercise thing. T.Y. That's thank you.
And that's two letters.
R.I.C.K. that's just that's like a name.
But even the formation of her sentence, she's like, money, can't buy you stop, money,
can't buy you class, money, can't buy you an education.
More than you being able to speak, I'm like, what?
You cannot have a malformed sentence while you're missing someone's education.
No, you cannot.
What I do like though,
when Giselle does her clap-axe in the interviews
is for some time she does like this voice thing
which was,
she does like,
yeah, something like that.
But I also like that when she's doing it,
she accentuates with her finger
as if she is like doing like a one,
she's like,
she's like a typing with a finger. She's like, she's like a typing with a finger
She's like, you know, she was like left to right, the poking her words down. She's dad typing. Yeah, she's huntin' peck, huntin' peck
She huntin' pecks her gisses
I'm like, dad, could you please get acquired her keyboard? It's like click
click click click
No, please use more than your two index fingers Click click click click
Please use more than your two index fingers
So next up is
All right now I'm on the computer getting your entire camp organized for no credit or money
Everything okay. I'm getting media organized. Maybe they can talk to you. He's like, I don't want to talk to,
I don't want to be going to people.
I just want to concentrate on camp.
She's like, well, what if they come to you?
And he's like, I just said,
I got such an asshole.
He's getting really chippy.
And he was just obviously getting frustrated with Rob.
And she's like, fine.
Okay.
So then he just like goes into another room
and starts talking to a producer
and he's like, I'm tired of living like this.
And then he goes, if I didn't have Corking Carter,
I'd be gone already.
I want something more.
So it's like, ooh.
Poor Robyn.
I'm not mad.
Because he didn't know he was being,
you know, that was all Mike.
He didn't realize it was being recorded, obviously.
And then they just show Robin like, okay, I finished working your business and finding
a way for you to make some money. So I guess I'll do your laundry now. Man, I'm sure he's
really hoping for me to decide I'll be romantic again with him.
This is my finger in your face, one. You know the lottery people called
and they're like, you won.
And I was like, you know, I don't feel like
winning the lottery.
Hopefully I'll feel like it soon
so I can make the lottery board feel better.
Why?
Why is it a dollar in a dream?
So yeah, so that relationship is crumbling.
And yet it doesn't seem to,
it feels like they're trying to tell us that it's crumbling,
but it feels like it's just static.
It's just that.
Robins the only one who doesn't know.
And I don't, you know, sometimes on these shows, I really feel, I kind of do feel for Robin,
because I know that she's scared.
She's never been with anybody else.
She doesn't know what that's going to be like.
She, I get all that.
So I do feel kind of bad for her.
But girl, I'll stick it around for a poor man.
I mean, you better find a rich man to emotionally abuse you.
I mean, this is a real housewives show.
Get with it.
Yeah, that's time.
You're a hot commodity.
You could, you can, you can do better.
Yeah, she'll do just fine.
So then we go to Ashley.
Uh, and she's having dinner with her mom Sheila and
and her like her half brother Zach who is really cute. He's like this really
nerdy kid who's talking about doing things the charitable things in the
Dominican Republic which is nice. Yeah but like what are you doing now? Well I'll
be implementing clean water system and the tiny villages, you know,
and I'll also learn to tango while I'm there.
And she's like,
I'm trying to get people to eat the meals.
Exactly what I was going to say.
It's kind of the same difference.
We should start up a charity where we bring
e-moots to the Dominican Republic.
I like how my Ashley voice is totally different
every single time.
I just, whatever, whatever's high pitch
and comes out, that's what it's gonna be at that moment.
It's like,
Sometimes it sounds like this and sometimes it sounds like this.
I don't know.
Well, either way, you're both, you know,
trying to help people wash down shitty food.
So good for you guys.
You're on the same page in a way.
My two voices, who you're addressing.
Um,
because you pluralized.
So, um, uh, this was, I mean, this was like a fine scene, but it was actually funny,
because Ashley was saying, like, yeah, these girls
they ambushed me at work. And mom's like, oh,
and the brother's like, that's not nice. And then she's like, yeah,
and then they said this. And mom's like, the mom just laughing.
The mom's just like a viewer like us like, oh, no, they didn't.
And they put a finger in my face and she's like oh I'm about to
sweat. We got to sweat right now. And then this motherly advice this is why no
when no one knows what to do in these situations because this is how they're
raised okay. First Ashley goes well first the mom said she goes then she may
find in my marriage failing and the the mom's like, cause her marriage failed, address that.
I'm like, okay, wait, wait it tell her to take the high road.
And then Ashley says,
well, Mr. Zell, what is good for the goose
is also good for the gander.
Which is a male female.
Yeah, I didn't understand why that expression
was being used at that moment.
I think that she's just overwhelmed with Australian food references that now she just
thinks goose and gander.
She's just talking about new menu ideas.
Man, her equal to women, Jazeal.
It's like, okay, stick to the stick to the fight, Ashley.
She says, well, I should apologize to Sheree and the mom's like, well, that's fine, but there's got to be a apologetic stuff coming towards you too.
Like the mom's giving her the worst advice.
And she's like, she goes, don't let yourself be bullied.
And as she goes, you know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to fight fire with fire.
The mom's like, cheers.
I'll cheers to that.
And then brothers like, um, so does anyone care about the fact
that I'm going to a different country
to do some charitable things?
Like that I'm actually doing something in my life
instead of cooking weird Australian food?
Anyone? No?
Okay.
You know the reason the village and the DR burn down
is because they were trying to fight fire with fire, right?
Like that literally doesn't work.
It burns down villages.
Did a village and the Dominican Republic actually burn down?
No, but I dare you to prove me wrong, somebody.
Some village burned down somewhere in this world.
I'm sure that if you Google burnt down village someplace else, it would come up and I'll
be validated.
Okay, don't question me, America.
If only they had emergency rations of Yumu. So then we go to lunch with
Sherees and Dr. Jeff and Rob, actually more like a breakfast. And so Dr. Jeff is there
from Real House of Atlanta. He is here now. I love Dr. Jeff. They're looking around for
a waiter and he's like, Mami, Mami, Mami, Mami, Mami. Mami.
So they sort of ambush Robin here.
The ambusher becomes ambush-y.
And, and the, you know, big,
basically, she's just like,
I thought you might want to talk to that,
that's about that.
Also, I found this really neat,
bracelet that's just basically a rubber band
and a fidget spinner.
So you know what it does, you know what it is, that neat.
Look at this, it's something that they call a flinky wath.
She also said, I wanted to do this in a wathwatt, because I don't want her to be uncomfortable.
That's great.
Let's never have a breakdown in the middle of an Olive Garden.
Great idea, Sherees.
Welcome to your first therapy session over oatmeal in public.
So Robin is like wary of therapy,
because she's like, oh, the word therapy says to me,
there's something to fix.
I'm like, uh, I have you seen your relationship. There might be something that fix.
Worth the hang. Um, when I was married, I wanted my husband to be open to therapy, but now,
I don't know, it's like we're broken. Yeah, that's why you need to be fixed.
It's funny that she wants to be fixed when she was in the marriage.
Now that she's out of the marriage, she doesn't want to be fixed.
I don't mind if people still call me his wife.
Uh, burp.
So, Robyn is talking about the relationship and how she's thinking about doing things to
rekindle it or she can't do anything.
She mentions the word rekindle it or she can't do anything and like she just she mentions the word rekindling and you know
And what she's saying it's her it's her choice like yeah to rekindle you know
Yeah, he he cheated and that's stopping me from rekindling the relationship
Because we just saw that other scene so then dr. Jeff is like okay
Well my my oatmeal and granola's I mean my yogurt and granola is taking a little too long to get here
So let me just make her cries like well the good part about therapies that it can help you along the way to getting into being fixed and then Robin just is like
She just loses it and just starts crying
He she does that thing where she's like nodding and smiling and nodding and smiling and nodding and smiling and then all of a sudden nodding and bawling
Yeah, she starts like nodding nodding. He's like well
and then all of a sudden nodding and bawling. Yeah, she starts nodding, nodding, nodding.
You look, well, well, well, well, well, well,
where's everything okay?
Mimi, Mimi?
Hello, hello, hello.
I know it hurts a lot.
It hurts almost as much as ordering breakfast
and not getting the granola and yogurt.
You've been waiting a 30 minutes for.
Am I right, everyone?
Where is my yogurt and granola?
Do you got your potato already? And I am sitting on my yogurt and granola? Hmm.
Did I meant him? I saw leading glasses that have the white thumb them.
They would meet. And Robins like, well, all the bad memories stop me.
Like like this morning, when your husband was totally emotionally abusive to you,
while you were organizing
his entire summer camp for him. Jesus, Robin. Jesus. But it was good to see Robin actually have
an emotional breakthrough. And then we went on over to yet another soulless conference room
in a hotel. This is like the new air conditioner unit is the soulless conference room in a hotel. This is like the new air conditioner unit is the the
soleless conference room in a DC hotel. This time for a pave event. It's like
there's one conference room that Bravo just has a leeson and they're gonna
like okay we'll have Katie's, we'll have a casino night here, we'll have a sweet 16 here. We'll have the pave event here. We'll have, you know, clam bake here.
You guys, you're going to have to wait out in the lobby. We are finishing up a multi-level
marketing meeting about water filters. Okay? We'll be ready for your very important marriage
in just a moment, real housewives of Potomac., it's not like a lot of neat things in there. I can't wait to shop for those.
So Ashley comes in and she's the first one there.
It says how to Karen.
And of course, again, because she's got this in her head now.
She's like, I'm not worried about the green.
I'd use and gander coming in here.
Karen's like Ashley, thank you for coming but tonight tonight is a no
nonsense mess you promise you promise Ashley promise
she's like got it make lots of nonsense
can't do excuses so Ashley goes to the Ashley goes to the
the
the
the
the the
the
the
the the
the
the
the the
the
the
the the
the the
the
the the
the
the
the the the the the the pavement, potholes. We are standing up for potholes. She's like, okay. So they get in there
and Karen doesn't tell them no drama. She goes, now you two hang in there and have a good
time with Don Lemon. So then I'm going to go check on the black bill gates and make sure
that black windows is still being protected by black
coffee virus software. There has been a, there has been a security breach across
the world that I want to make sure a black bill gates is feeling okay about it.
So, um, actually comes up to Robin and Jazelle and is basically like,
Hello, how are you today? What a fine afternoon evening. own goose and gander, you move.
And they're like, go on.
Go leave.
Okay, I'm just going over here and stand by now.
You look sparkly and pretty.
And then as she walks away, it just sounds like, well, that's in it. It's been a dress you got.
It's a bit. Like you were wearing a mini skirt as well.
You jealous cow.
That's the voice I like that she makes.
I was trying to remember how it actually sent up.
But that's what she was saying.
Itte, bitte.
I like when she does that.
She doesn't, she doesn't even have it.
It's just like, well, look who's using a napkin.
A napkin.
Look who wore a sequin a sequin
Oh miss Ashley it's miss a
Sleeeeee
Sleeeeee
Hello, my name is a
Sleeeeee
I wonder if she's gotten some air conditioning in her aroho bit the beach how was I?
Good one, J'Zell So Robyn's like, that was awkward.
It's really hard not to address the deep issues
that she's brought forth and just outcuz.
Yes, it's difficult not to address the major elements
in the room.
So then Shasha and Monique show up,
and then everyone takes the tables,
but there's no assigned seating
So just Elr and Robin are on one table and Monique and Ashley are in another and then you know
There's like awkwardness for two different tables, but it doesn't really lead to any real awkwardness
Except then Don lemons like hi, I'm Don Lemon. I've been right to this is really sad and I was like this is so sad
I'm so of of course, I stopped typing. Yeah, I stopped typing immediately, obviously.
But then when he was dead, Jizal goes, Karen got to follow that.
Karen? Like it's a, like it's a karaoke list. Yeah. Yeah. So don't let the story sad.
Because that was really sad. Don Lemon, that was a great
child rape story. Karen, good luck girl. Rick Alick. I was surprised. I was like, damn, Don Lemon.
So then Karen goes up and she tells her story, which is emotional and I saw the woman are like, wow,
it's powerful, which it was. And then afterwards, because there's no use doing on that,
there's nothing really else to add to it.
Yeah, afterwards.
Robbins, like, well, good luck with the plot holes, guys.
Like, did you not hear anything, Robin?
Robbins, like, bye, I gotta go to another event.
I'm like, you gotta drive two hours back to your poor house
and microwave some mac and cheese for a while.
Yeah, we all know.
It's not called an event, okay.
Well, I liked when Ashley says she says how does she say,
hi, she's like, how are you doing?
And Shawsh was just like a fabulous.
And that's it, like super cold.
Guess what, you're not neat.
You're not neat.
You're not like those both cars,
those black and white both cars with those dogs
that are like really well groomed,
sitting in both of that's neat.
At least your recent break into her terrible angry lady British accent.
With normally she'd be like, I don't see.
This time she was just like looking straight ahead and shaking her head.
So as she was like, how you doing?
Sharree's?
How you doing Sharree's? Shar you doing? Sherries? Sherries? Sherries?
It's like when Awakening's and they all fell back asleep.
It's like, uh, spoiler.
Too soon, too soon.
It's always too soon. It's like 20 years later.
It's like, sleep in the wake.
Where's Julie Klausner?
So then they get back into this fight that makes no sense. to sleep in the way. Where's Julie Klausner?
So don't they get back into this fight that makes no sense?
Just, just suck us.
You know what?
Sherry's can say how do you ask Lee, but not tonight.
And she's like, yeah, not tonight.
And she's like, OK, I guess another night.
Yes, another night.
So Monique goes, OK, well, you want to have a talk?
We should probably have a talk to you, so she goes, oh, no, you want to have a talk? We should probably have a talk to you,
so she goes, oh no, another night to you too.
To be fair, Monique was actually very polite.
She's like, actually, just, I would like to have it.
I would like to have a talk with you too,
on another night, and just like, okay, fine.
She's like, so can I get your number
so we can set something up?
And just like, maybe, maybe it will, maybe.
She told Theresa, she goes, did you tell her to say that?
And she's like, no, I didn't tell her to say that on top of it.
Tell her to, who would tell her to ask for my number?
Which is how you're so stupid.
So, just I'll leave.
She goes, I'll give you my number, but not now.
And then she walks away and Ashley goes a the menopause is real right now
the Nykos Kinder Manipals Emule
she better glad she better be glad we're at a
pay event because she's about to meet the
pavement
I was like she's a bigger ass than ass fault
except she doesn't realize when it's her fault
ass get it well that speed bump will sure slow you down a bigger ass than asphalt, except she doesn't realize when it's her fault. Ask.
Okay.
Well, that's me.
Bump will sure slow you down.
Children crossing slow children.
Yield.
So Monique psych Monday, Gus, she can keep her number.
And Ashley says, where are the young ones?
And we're showing the green-eyed monster and the men
apostle mess had to be polite.
And then Jiz meanwhile says to Shasha as they walk away.
She's like, she slammed her phone in my face.
And even Shasha's like, I don't really think that's what happened.
It basically was like, can I have your number?
I mean, you know I love my child.
I love this.
I punched me into face through a phone at me and kicked me down the stairs.
She's like, I didn't do it. You in my face.
You want to write that in your journal?
I don't want to really need to do that.
I would they sell popery and reading glasses and postcards with
amusing things that lift you up when you're feeling down.
Really need stuff.
Sure.
Sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. And sure. Okay. I mean, it's for the non-sequitr. I really enjoy Jiselle. I think she's funny and I think she brings, you know,
some ridiculousness that this show needs.
But this is, I mean, come on, Jiselle.
She asked if she could talk to you to like,
clear the air and ask for your number and that's it.
It was, she did not hold a gun to your head.
She did not slut shame you.
She did not pants you, okay.
Like she just held out her her
fablet her giant phone her fablet she's like she showed me a picture of a
Neil she waived a galaxy tab in my face how dare she who was she Moses so
anyway so that was that episode fun times fun times fun times and actually
sure was everybody.
Next week will be something.
I don't remember what happens.
Oh, next week's episode, Ashley and Michael get into a fight.
He's like, get this camera out of my face.
Get it on my face.
Otherwise, I'll have to grab your camera man's ass.
That perfectly round ass.
I'll have to grab it to punish him for videotaping me,
trying to shut down your shoelace.
So that was that.
Let's move on to invite only Cabo, but yeah, I'm enjoying quite a bit.
As I mentioned at the top of the show, are you enjoying it too, Ronnie?
Yes, I'm laughing why I asked off this show was so funny.
It's a really started.
It starts off with Kuku Emily Emily.
What?
It's been funny. Don't like me having Emily I was working on a voice earlier
I don't know if I have it now because you know I work on a voice and then we do a whole other show beforehand
And now I don't know how to have a voice anymore, but I have a nails
Oh, oxon told me the man
It makes no sense. It makes no sense. But the accent says cleanness can be
Well last week was the big fight where she was chewing off her nails,
was spitting them on the floor. And Kamala got mad. And so
money. I mean, Kamala, sorry, Kamala Harris got mad. She's like,
wait a second, President Trump may be spying with the Russians,
but I'll tell you what really gets me mad. That girl biting her nails off on an invite only Cabo.
I make a reservation in the Senate to cancel this show.
I'm Kamala Harris fighting for your reality shows.
Uh, so she's all off.
You're like, I'm not going to touch a Kamala Harris run.
I get it.
I'm just trying to, you said Kamala so many times that I'm going to just keep going
this girl Kamala because I just write Kamani.
Kamani.
So she's mad.
And so we start right in the middle of this fight and everybody's blowing up now because
they're on TV, you know.
So she goes, well, a bad limo, Therkness is an issue.
And then it remains like, uh, there's fake nails all over the ground now.
She's like, oh, well, I'm so sorry for fingers.
Oh, maybe I cut my finger off.
She like storms off and then they keep intercutting between her storming off and
come on.
Like calmly doing her makeup in the bathroom.
Yeah, and Emily's like out sitting on a step somewhere with a goo and she's smoking
cigarette and and bitching like, sitting on a step somewhere with a goo and she's smoking
cigarette and bitching. Like, why don't they like me? And a goo's like, well, here's
the thing, you can't bite off your nails. You just can't do it. You have to see their
side. You just, you can't do it. You can't do it. You just like, really? Fine. I didn't
do it because you're hot. And I want to put on your her. Her actual answer was, I'm in to you because you're hot and I want to put her her actual answer was I didn't pop them off, I beat them off.
Okay. He's good. I really can't argue with you. Uh, just maybe anything to do with nails and he goes, you know,
Oh, no, that was back at the table. But someone says to her like, you know, it's just a it's a hygiene thing.
Oh, Komani does, right? She's like, or Malaku or one of them do say it. Yeah, she's like, it's, look, I don't need to hurt you. And I, you know, I can see that you're upset.
It's just a hygiene thing. And she goes, really? Because I look at my, I think that I'm the
cleanest of the bunch. I miss cleanest
I miss cleanest we saw
They all started just laughing their asses. She's she's clean like when there's a piece of multi-bread and you want to Write on your parents are like, no, just cut off the mold. It's fine. Still good. Still good
That's like her level of clean. I feel like she bites off the mold and spits it on the floor.
Larry goes, Larry is, you know, in her defense is telling us that, you know, he really, why he likes Emily so much,
goes, I just, I love that she's layered. I'm like, she's layered like a seven layer bean dip. That's what she's layered like.
You dip into it and can be sort of fun, but you sort of feel like it's probably not the
best decision in your life at that moment.
And I like that Ler is like a self-help guy.
He's like, guys, does she know better?
If she doesn't know better, how can we, how can we come down on her if she doesn't know
better?
He's like, is she new better?
She would do better.
I was like, okay, thanks, thanks, thanks Maya. I think she did
better because she did hook up with the goo. So he's like that
rhyme, right? You guys, she was trying to keep it light. She's
on the elliptical case. She was trying to keep it light.
Guys, the big mistake here is that we confronted her over
salsa instead of we should have all just gone on to
elliptical machines because we all as we all know
When you confront someone on a liptical machine, it is automatically light. Okay, so let's go to the gym
Part of the show I was dying
So they go out they party they all get drunk. They had what's the guy with the hat the guy before he banned. Oh
Malaki Malaki So guy with the hat, the guy before he band, oh, um, Milwaukee, Milwaukee, Milwaukee. Yeah. So Milwaukee is just walking around like,
Hey ladies, I'd like to anybody to surround at one point they showed him at the bar
and not even at the main bar at the service bar. And there's a waitress like
waiting for the drink order to come. And he's like, well, hello, man.
I can't have a notice you have an assortment of straws
and cherries and lemon and lime wedges.
That's pretty cool, huh?
I like a girl who can balance the trade.
Munch.
I thought Malakku was gay, actually.
So I'm just confused by all of it.
I can't tell.
I can't tell the problem anymore.
I've been like, for the past two weeks, I've been saying, but that person's gay, and I'm just confused by all of it. I can't tell. I can't tell it's Bravo anymore. I've been like for the past two weeks.
I've been saying, but that person's gay and I'm just sick of it.
At this point, I'll just say everyone's fluid, okay?
That's it.
Yeah, the world has changed.
My dad is just like spinning around.
I must be standing exactly on like magnetic North because my little thing is going around
in circles.
Well, Larry is the big step of the show and he's he's
walking around with his silk like Chanel scarf on his head. I think there may be we we're
going to get answers to all this. This is what one thing that we do. This is one thing that
I have been told. To record answers to what? The silk the silk thing on the head. How this
all adds up. how this all adds up
I was told we will have answers. It will all make sense
That's what I was told directly from the horses mouth. So like this shows too stupid expected to add anything
I just wanted to be like bravo's answer to Twin Peaks just mystery and pond mystery upon mystery and then
A very tall like he person comes out and someone
shows up with a log except instead of a log it's just a microwaveable pizza. My pizza told me to
investigate further. Oh so everybody's like trying to get it on and Emily is over sitting with
and Emily is over sitting with a pool. That's my friend, I'm sorry, a goo, aggro, aggro.
So she's sitting with him on a bench
and she's like, oh, you lack the bench.
Oh yeah, and then she puts her hand between his legs
and I think she's jerking him off.
And then the ladies that had Malakou brought over.
Yeah, the hat guys hitting on now.
They're all watching and they're like,
oh my God, that girl's like a car wreck.
That's totally rubber necking.
And she's like, oh yeah, you like it.
Oh, oh, I'd be fair.
Where did you see his hand dropping that guy?
To be fair, Emily was also doing like splits
and doing high kicks and she was not wearing underwear. And those fair, Emily was also doing splits and doing high kicks
and she was not wearing underwear.
And those editors, wow, their pixel tool was out of control
because it was everything.
Every word that Emily said, she would just do a high kick
and then like, swivel around.
It was like, blur, blur, blur, blur, blur.
They actually had to change the pencil size
of their blob tool. They're like, we're a mind us to change that back when we get to Real Housewives of New York.
So, and the point of the issue is she's still showing her nails.
Even though her fake nails are gone, she's still showing them the girls who like,
she is really going to town the nails and the guys like see!
But then the big part about this was,
Bianco was talking to some guy named Frankie and
and Camani and was watching and this guy Frankie
goes up and
touches
Bianca's ass and
so they're like, oh my god.
And Kamanite tells Larry, and Larry's like,
the fact that she's letting this random dude touch her ass
is just a side of her I've never seen before.
He goes, now wait, was it the crack?
Was it on the crack?
Or was it on the cheek?
In the crack or on the crack? And they're like, yeah, it was the crack or was it on the cheek? In the crack or on the crack?
And they're like, yeah, it was the crack.
And he's like, whoa, that's not right.
The crack?
Crack is whack.
Learn more, be more.
If she'd learned better, she would squirmed better.
So I am so annoyed in a heterosexual, angry way about another bro coming in on my hoe.
Know what I'm saying?
If I don't fix this scarf, I'm gonna barf.
It's like, okay Larry, just concentrate.
We're still talking about a butt.
Hashtag's in style, like my hat.
Can I ask you a very important question?
Yes.
Right now I blew my nose.
Did I do that into the microphone?
No, but if you did, it would still somehow work with this scene.
It would be like Emily, but by the way, are you doing your Emily impersonation again?
We're talking about Larry now.
That's what it sounds like when Emily's doing a hand job.
Mm.
Oh.
Oh.
Emily doing a hand job.
It's like when you start to get up first and ease.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
Mm.
You're trying to make the sneeze go away.
Hold on.
Hold on a second.
Hold on everyone. Hold on. I think I got it.
Okay. All right. Did I just get a pizza on my face in this silly, silly place?
She's always spitting out her food. So, um, let's see. So now we have like butt crack drama.
Drama Emily has given hand jobs while girls make fun of her and she eats her nails
one of the girls is like oh my god she's eating it like corn
yeah
by the way that's one thing I really love about this show is that whoever is not involved
in the drama even it's like random girls who come home they're all super funny like
they're commentary during the show is funny the entire way
yeah because they're seeing it from an outside point of view.
Those girls were hilarious.
So they go back to the house and at Larry and Bianca are being
chilly with each other and Bianca and Emily are walking to the room.
Emily's like, I wanted to tell you, you're so gorgeous tonight.
So gorgeous.
You saw it.
Yeah, Emily just flops down in a goose bed.
And then a goose, you know, he's horny, whatever.
He's ready for this.
And Emily's like, come close.
I want to smell you.
You smell like something.
Come close.
She gives her a... She gives her a wrist. She goes, smell my hands. Smell it. I want to smell you. You smell like something come close
She gives them her ass she goes smell my hands smell it
Smell like Sasa and you're in
And so he comes in and then she's like
And then then Bianca of course immediately goes up over to Malacca and Shauna and Jennifer which the girls and it's like Mmm, Emily is in the bed and she and a goo is in the bed and then they just are sitting there down by the pool spying on them from
From downstairs to the window, which is exactly what I would do even now Emily makes that
It's like a really slow garbage
It's like a really slow garbage just like it's all stuck in it like something like a date pit in it.
I have to apologize to a goo because last week I was like I don't believe his penis is
big because he blah blah blah and doesn't that and I had like I think a whole five minute
monologue about believing in his penis size.
Well got a boner and we only got to see half of it, unfortunately.
But guys, when I'm wrong, I'd like to publicly flock myself.
So consider myself logged.
I was wrong.
That thing looks humongous.
And then he had to keep readjusting it.
And then he just, at one point, she's like,
what's the lightning switch?
Yeah.
And then you just see him like whip it out get it ready
It was like wow there are like three legs in that bed. Oh wait
Yeah, so then so then but at one point
Emily I guess he comes downstairs
So my Emily comes looking for him because she leaves the bedroom
And she comes down to the pool
and she's like eating her nails and she's just like, babe, babe, babe, babe,
like a lost soul. I wrote four babes down and then I put X10 like a 40 babes. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- girls back into bed while a goop pulls out his dick. And beyond the girls like, oh my God, we gotta spy on the girl
who likes her finger corn.
Let's go.
And Fionka says, well, we can spy, but I want pizza.
So she's like planning on watching them fuck
watch the eats her tombstone or whatever.
Well, then the thing is, when those told crew,
they decided to go inside to spy on them
to go into the walk walk in and watch them
They find Larry in the kitchen
So they tell Larry about it and he's making a sandwich or something and they're telling they're talking and he's like what?
What and the entire time their fridge is open and I was going nuts. I said close the fridge close the fridge
He's like are you serious are you serious Are you serious? This is like the show of
repeating shit over and over again. But then he goes to us. He goes really in at this age,
you're going to throw a relationship away. Three months relationship. It's like you're old.
Keep what you can get. I hate that, but it did make me laugh.
Yeah.
It's like normally he would be fine with it,
but she's old now.
He's like, girl, you better concentrate
on your retirement.
Yeah.
You know that this Joseph guy works in like a bong shop.
So I'm like an Amsterdam.
So they all like sneak up into the room
and then I was like, what's going on? And you know, when they all like g up into the room and Then I was like what's going on? And you know when they all like giggle. It was it was funny
But you know, I'm like you guys are being huge cock box right now
I'm like you guys are on a reality show you have to let them hook up so we have drama for your season
Yeah, also are you ten? Yeah, like they're all 40 and they're like oh my god
They hooked up the next part was like 10 minutes of everybody going did you guys hook up?
Did you guys hook up and he's like, no, it was just a cuddle.
And he's like, did so she cuddled your dick with her mouth?
Like, how did that work?
He's like, no, no, it was just a cuddle guys.
It was just, it was 10 minutes of every Betty Gorg.
It was just smash.
Well, it was like five minutes of them.
After it's not going to, it was five minutes of them eating pizza and talking about it.
And then a goo comes down and gets pizza and brings it back up for Emily and then the next morning it was more talk did you see they hoaked
up and yet I have to say Ronnie I was totally on board I kind of felt like I was there in
the house like listening to the gossip I don't know it's very weird I felt like I was part
of the show. I do not ever want to feel like I'm in that. So it would just be like tombstone burps coming from Emily, you know?
They really are, you know, like if they're really getting into this frozen pizza business,
if summer house this whole thing was rosé, if I don't like oboe, it's about late night
frozen pizza.
Emily is basically like a gutter whore version of Barney from the Simpsons.
Like the meatpsons.
Like the knee burps.
So the important thing is that the next morning,
Draman and Malaku, who are really the house gossips, they're the ones who just sit on the sidelines and, and, you know,
chatter about things.
They tell Khmony that I grew hooked up with Emily and Khmony is like,
huh, okay, well, there you have it.
So yeah, she's they wanted her to get mad
But she's like okay, well, I'm not gonna let that get inside me now. Yeah, so then someone tells Bianca
Who tells Bianca? Well, well so well cuz what about about the about the ass crack?
Okay, well, so what happens is okay okay, so after Kamani is basically like,
okay, I don't wanna get with our goo anymore,
like don't ask about my kids
and don't pretend like you wanna know more about me
and then sleep with nail bite over there, okay?
So then Bianca's on the phone with her daughter,
who's in college, and you know, they're chatting
and Bianca's saying, telling us that she's trying to really figure out what her relationship is with the Ratt with Larry
and it's really getting defined and they're maybe getting to the next level, etc.
And then, um, um, I'm just looking through my notes because I think we are skipping ahead here.
Well, basically, yeah, I've lost what we're talking about
the main point right.
Oh, sorry, I thought we were just going over the main points of this one.
Oh, okay. Well, basically, you don't want me going through five pages of notes on this
trust.
No, I was like the next one is that my notes are so confusing.
They smashed.
My notes are confusing. It's like Larry talking to Emily. Did you smash?
I was like, and then it was Emily doing dishes.
And I was like, well, at least Emily's doing dishes.
I don't think anyone else is on the dishes.
But yeah, basically what happened was her tongue.
Yeah, so basically they were all working out
because they all are feeling fat
from all the pizza they had the night before.
And Larry woke up, Emily woke up with a goo
and she acted like, oh my god, it is. What happened? I don't remember
not teen. I'm like, yes, you did. So everybody's pretending they can't remember anything because
they're sleeping. So they're at one point people are in the kitchen gossiping and someone
I think it was hat boy band hat tells Bianca, well, you know that there was some stuff going on last night because, um, Kamani told Larry
that you were letting some guy touch your butt crack.
And she's like, excuse me, that never happened.
I would never let someone touch my butt crack.
I mean, maybe the main butt, but not the crack.
So she's mad.
So Larry is in the gym doing the elliptical with Emily.
Yes.
And Emily's like, oh, I can't believe I did something.
I don't remember, but I just run to sweat
and maybe just sweat takes off to sin.
Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah, so then there, so Bianca's in there
and they're all chatting and I'm talking
about this Frankie guy and Bianca, you know,
at first it does start lighthearted, you know,
classic elliptical style.
And Bianca's like, yeah, yeah, he's like a Frankie guy.
Like, he wants it to come over and Emily goes,
I bet he did all over you!
It's a good one, Emily.
You need to, you need to let him come all over you until the scene is sweated off.
I'm glad he didn't come over. We don't have enough tungsten for Frankie.
So, Larry starts confronting Bianca about the Askrab.
And he's like, we're at the club together.
That's mad disrespectful.
Yeah, we were at the club.
I mean, we had so much good stuff going on.
If he touched your ass, then that's low class.
Rhyming Larry.
And she's like, wait a second, out there you that never happened.
So later she's throwing shade everywhere.
Bianca's decided she's pissed and she's going to be mad at everybody.
Well she's mad at, well she's mad at Camani.
So here's the thing because Larry said, you know, Camani told me that this guy was grabbing
your ass and I saw it and so it's the classic thing where then Bianca gets mad at Camani because she feels like Camani was saying this to Larry
to undermine her relationship with Larry. So then Bianca goes and confronts Camani in
the kitchen she said you know accuses Bianca accuses Camani for trying to stir up shit
and Camani is based, Biong is like,
you know what, you can't be saying these things
and you're trying to get in the way and Khmony's.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't yell at me.
Yeah.
And he was like, I need you to lower your voice.
I'm like, Biong, I was talking at a very normal,
actually a very normal mature way.
You need to lower your voice.
She's like, okay, well, what I'm trying to say is,
okay, you're yelling.
You're yelling at me now.
I guess what I'm trying to say, whoa, did you just hit me?
Did you just slam your Galaxy Tab in my face?
Next, you know, you're on my number, huh?
So then, beyond beyond customs off.
And I like, I like come on as a sponge is like, little girl, get
yourself together, go put on your Kinsy, Nara outfit and come back
and we can talk.
I'm like, wait, wow, great Mexican, uh, teenager joke weirdo.
She's like, have funny, have fun at your bot midst, okay?
And then Lair is like, what happened to me happened to me on because she called me a little girl.
I'm like so now the entire issue is gone and completely like deleted because there's
one of those things where Bianca has one has an issue about one thing.
Come on, he calls her a little girl and now the fight is going to be about her being
called a little girl, which is perfect.
So then they go to the beach and Bianca's like, well, I don't want to go to the beach
because I don't like being treated like a little girl.
And what is a Kintanada?
I don't even know what that is.
It's not a Paniata.
Is she threatening to beat me up?
And he's like, listen, the beach is not out of reach.
And if we're going to be friends, we must attend.
And she's like, okay, so they
all go to the beach and him. She's just being totally bitty the whole time and refusing
that. Well, she's mad because she was mad about Larry, she's mad about Bianca. And she's
also mad because Larry keeps insisting back at the house. He kept insisting. He's like,
I was on the elliptical machine and it was brought up in a light way on the elliptical machine.
It couldn't have been any lighter than on an elliptical.
I was on an elliptical machine.
The definition of lightness is when you were on an elliptical machine
and you talk about something,
that is the true Oxford definition of lightness.
Elliptical.
And then they cut this talking head and he goes,
well, I think she's tripping because it was on an elliptical and then they cut this talking head and he goes, well, I think she's tripping because it was on an elliptical machine.
I mean, it was one thing if I was on a treadmill or even like a rowing machine, but it was elliptical.
I mean, that is like inherently light.
You cannot even talk about politics on elliptical machine because it is so light.
Who could be mad? You're not running.
You're not climbing stairs and you're not on the bike.
But yes, you are to all three.
You were on, you were literally on a low impact device.
Like, how could you say something impactful if you're not even taking any
impact on your knees?
It's like a magic carpet ride.
No one's mad on a magic carpet ride.
You're like, how does this work?
Did Aladdin see in mad when he was on his carpet?
I don't think so.
He was having the time of his life.
And this is essentially a magic carpet that you burn
cowards on.
You know why Aladdin was always smiling?
Eliptical machine.
Keep it light.
How do you think Aladdin had such a good body?
Okay, he was on elliptical.
He keeps it light.
Okay.
One step.
You know that song, one step. It's based on being on elliptical he keeps it light, okay One step you know that song one step it's based on being on elliptical machine
One step that had it a one step and then and then and then and then and then and then and then it's elliptical
Elliptical machine. It's a song about the elliptical
So Bianca he's like listen if if we're gonna be happy you can't be acting crappy and she's like whatever Larry
If we're going to be happy, you can't be acting crappy. And she's like, whatever, Larry, she's like,
you want me to go to Disneyland right now?
I'm like, good one, Bianca.
Where are people getting their lines on this show?
What does that even mean?
And Larry goes, well, I can't deal with this energy stuff.
So I think that we should just go home.
That's it. And they're like, Larry, why are we going home?
And he goes, I cannot be at the beach when somebody says, So I think that we should just go home. That's it. And they're like, Larry, why are we going home?
And he goes, I cannot be at the beach when somebody says I'm making them feel funny.
That's it.
He also can't believe that this entire experience has become a circus.
I'm like, Larry, you're on a reality show.
It's supposed to be a circus.
If it wasn't a circus, it would just be you on an elliptical machine having nice conversations. I like how he's just
so L.A. talk. I don't need to be
around with you while you're
deflecting. Okay. So when your
energy is flowing better and you're
respecting, we can have this
conversation like one nation.
Until then, I'm gonna tickle tickle
how the elliptical five nothing runs with the liplicle. Get'll need a little tickle. He's like, nothing runs with a little tickle.
Get up my ass, Bianca.
He's like, listen Bianca.
I don't like being on a beach when I'm being made
to feel funny about something or someone
feels funny about me.
Also, Emily has turned red into a lobster
and I am very concerned that our getting skin cancer.
So let's get out of the sun.
Wow, that light the red!
Bianca I cannot take your triptical.
None of this was said on an elliptical.
Now let's get let's go homey so we can have some pepperoni pizza.
Don't talk to me all cryptical.
Unless you're on elliptical.
Why are we making him rhyme by the way? I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people.
I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of
people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not make everything he says right because I think it's hilarious. And at one point, I forgot to say this part, but at one point someone was telling him about
Bianca and they kept cutting to Bianca and she's all upset and mad and going crazy and they're like,
I mean, surely, this bothers you. Surely, I mean, this just must really hurt you.
He's staring at himself in the mirror, fixing his silk scarf.
He's like, huh?
The ass crack?
Was it the crack?
I also like to help Bianca.
Like, during the entire last 20 minutes of the show,
she's sitting there with sunglasses on and like her
purse on her face, you know, she's
puckered face, all angry.
And, you know, Larry says that she has an attitude.
She's like, I'm not walking around with an attitude towards you.
I'm just reflecting has an attitude. She's like, I'm not walking around with an attitude towards you.
I'm just reflecting.
We're the attitude.
You're reflecting with an attitude, Bianca.
Well, you're reflecting is keeping me deflecting.
So on the drive back to the house,
that's when Bianca realizes that she's probably coming
off like a huge bitch.
So she goes the next mode, which is that she's like,
she's feels embarrassed about Larry bringing it up.
She says she's embarrassed because Larry brought up this Frankie ass grab in front of everyone
at the optical machine. Yeah, it all comes out to the machine. So she starts to cry.
And now it's like awkward and they talk about going to church. And I like that when they
did talk about going to church and we was like, would like to go to church except that probably explode into butterflies.
Finally I can be on my knees with that being broken up with.
So basically the cliffhanger is will Larry and Bianca get back on track with their
romance that's going to end with that penis going into a vagina which it most certainly will because
It's a very heterosexual chemistry they have will that happen?
Or will it just be another day on the article? Yeah, well anything dark ever happened on the elliptical
Ronnie, how dare you suggest that that's something dark could happen on the elliptical. It is for light.
It is for light.
I'm well done.
Stop reflecting my deflected.
Alright, that brings us to the end of our show.
Hit it, man.
Yes, everyone.
Thanks for listening.
Follow us on social media.
And we'll be back tomorrow to talk some Southern charm classic.
Southern charm classic. Southern charm classic.
Until then, have a great night everyone,
and we'll talk to you, manana.
Bye.
Bye.
Hey, prime members.
You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free
on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.
Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast.
Before you go tell us about yourself
by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell
us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.