Watch What Crappens - #465 Southern Charm Savannah: Drag and Race

Episode Date: May 26, 2017

First, we’re joined by our friend Lisa Timmons (@timmonslisa) joins us to answer our questions about Savannah royalty. Then, we talk about how Southern Charm Savannah found a way to make us... feel sorry for drag queens, attention whores, and Nelson all in one episode. It’s a feat. Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:27 That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. You can also find us on social media on Twitter We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends. We'll see you there I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, I have come, Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Madonna Hines Mia Hanson Aloha Christy Dowerty just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson We love you girls Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on ye old bros I'm Ronnie Karen from Throes Prick spatula podcast and trash talk TV and Here I am with the gorgeous talented
Starting point is 00:01:30 Hot thin and well-quaft bin mantle girl to be side blog and the manager blender podcast. Hello, Ben. Oh Hi, Ronnie. It's funny. I do need a haircut now that you say you do dammit. Yeah, we had my buzz cuts getting dense You know it gets dense when it gets grows out too much. They too big. You know, too much. I get too much. And I'm like, this is a problem. Yeah. That doesn't happen. I don't know when your hair goes too much. Everybody, this is our Southern Charms Savannah podcast. And we have one of our best friends of this podcast on who we haven't talked to in years like literally years. And that is Miss Lisa Timons. Hello, Lisa. Oh, thank you. Thank y'all so much for having me.
Starting point is 00:02:13 In the south. In the south. We wait years before we talk to Lisa Timons. You know what? Because we did that thing where we pretended to make up and we took a picture and really we were just fuming under the surface. Totally. We saw each other at Magic mics or whatever that sequel was called. Magic multiple mics. And we were like, never when we were friends and then it was over.
Starting point is 00:02:36 We were like, bye. I was like, remember when I had free time to go to movies? Well, the reason why we brought Lisa onto this podcast is not only is Lisa wonderful and very funny, but Lisa hails from Savannah. So we thought why not have a real Savannah in on our Southern Charms Savannah podcast episode. Thank you. Well, you know what? Now that we're getting real about it, I have to disclose that I'm not technically from Savannah.
Starting point is 00:03:06 That's what I tell people outside of Savannah. I have to acknowledge that I'm from Richmond Hill, which is a suburb outside of Savannah. Oh. Oh, that you guys will be really happy to hear that Richmond Hill. This is why I'm living for this for this show because Richmond Hills nickname is rumor Hill because we we we keep we we're even smaller than Savannah. So it's like Savannah's a big city. So we I love all this small town petty drama. Takes you back to the old rumor mill aka rumor Hill. It does it does.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Well, we we're talking on the phone with Lisa. So if it sounds weird, that's why. But also we're not going to do the full recap with you. We just want to interview you and talk to you basically about your general thoughts of Southern Charms Savannah, because looking on the internet, people's thoughts are all over the place. No one can really decide. I don't think anybody really knows what they're watching yet.
Starting point is 00:04:00 Yeah. Yeah. That is exactly what I thought because I I haven't been Current I just dropped into this episode and it's really interesting because I have theories prior to this And I feel like Ben and I may have discussed this where you are Savannah is Old Southern families that are from Savannah are not going to go on reality television because that's very gauche that's very new bow reach that is not what you do and so it's interesting to me the people that
Starting point is 00:04:33 they found who would be willing to go on the show. I also don't know what to make of it. I feel like Charleston felt more legit in terms of the families, in terms of the drama. So I don't know what to make of this. It's very interesting that they have a girl from Atlanta, I guess, to play the role of the outsider there. Right. I know what you're saying. That's been one thing that we've been bumping up on a little bit. Because with Southern charm, the classic Southern charm, you do get the sense that like with Shaap and Thomas Revanel and some others, if there are some really like deep pockets, real wealth that we're seeing here,
Starting point is 00:05:19 the sions of big families. Whereas here, we've been told that Nelson, the Nelson family, or Nelson, whatever is it? Is this like, it's Mandela, they're huge. I mean, they're the Mandela. Yeah, they're huge in Savannah. Yeah, they're really into equal riots. Nelson, yeah. Oh, is that why there's so many black people on the show? Yeah. So, yeah, no, we're so we're told the Lewis family is very, very, very wealthy, but the Lewis Nelson isn't even a full cast member. In fact, we heard a rumor last week that Nelson was supposed to be a full time cast member,
Starting point is 00:05:58 which is why he does all the recaps at the beginning where he's like, previously on, so the terms of a no. I know. Yeah. I wasn't gay last week and I'm not gay this week, okay? It's called having a good vocabulary. Get on it. But we heard a rumor that he was a full-fledged cast member
Starting point is 00:06:13 and that he was demoted because he said something, either racist or not good on camera. And then this episode actually verified that route, well, it didn't really verify the rumor, but it did seem to give support to that rumor based on what happened later on. But before we get to that, though, my point is that he is the only one who seems to be really from like a super family, right?
Starting point is 00:06:38 And so it just feels like he's just sort of like people who live in Savannah. I know, but I'm sorry. They have a white microwave. They have like a microwave that you can buy at Target or Kmart. So if you ain't got a silver, listen, if you ain't got a silver microwave that comes out of your kitchen island, you press the button and it opens, then you're not. You put your, yeah, you're, yeah, I don't have those. Yeah. Well, even like a
Starting point is 00:07:03 stainless steel, you know, you can buy the stainless steel cover, you know, from coffee mate or whatever. We all know that. Do that. I got a cover. I just mean, you can buy a microwave with stainless steel casing at Target. You know what I mean? You know what that's like? That's like putting rims on your car.
Starting point is 00:07:20 You're putting like your rims on your, you got to bling up that oven. That's what I thought Ronnie was fine, that you could put like on your white microwave, you can buy a metal stuff to put on top of it. So that way, that's what he's saying. No, that's the way. No, no, no, I'm not. I'm just saying that the housing of the microwave,
Starting point is 00:07:36 you can buy it. You don't have to have white is what I'm saying. Yeah. In other words, it's not even about money. Not on this show. I feel like a family that rich would have taste enough that even if they're going to buy a microwave at Target, because really, who uses microwaves when they're that rich anyway,
Starting point is 00:07:50 you know, that so goes. A microwave is good. Yeah. A microwave is good. You know what you do? You have poor people who warm it with their hands. Yes, they breathe. They breathe hot feet.
Starting point is 00:08:02 That's right. They rub their hands together real tight. Real fast. That's how we know we're not seeing the old family in Savannah. We don't see any of the old food warmers. Well, this was, you know what? It confirmed you guys having the same reaction as me confirms what I thought, which is that like families of Savannah would not do this, would not participate.
Starting point is 00:08:20 And so they just had to try to get who they could. I love that Logan dress is like a ventriloquist dummy. I don't remember who Logan is. He's not a problem. Isn't he the one who is his Logan Nelson or is he? He could be a lawyer. I'm mixing up all my it's so funny. So my mom is friends with a retired high school English teacher who teaches at Savannah Country Day, which is one. That's where they all went to high school for the most part.
Starting point is 00:08:54 And so that's the private school that kids go to. There's that in the Savannah Christian. Those are the two big ones, but there's a bunch of other little ones too. But like, yeah, she was saying she was very surprised to see him on that show. And I think that that's kind of the overall. I would
Starting point is 00:09:13 be curious to see how the casting for that way, because Savannah is very, very, is a small town. It's very insulated and people don't. You just don't do that. You just don't put your shit on display. This one, this cast is all, you know, we came back home.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I came back home for this show. And the vials going to come back home too. Yeah. And then, you know, one girl just moves here and still lives there. And happy poor. I mean, you know, she, she poor, but happy. Yeah. And so I think they're poor and they're trying to do that bravo
Starting point is 00:09:44 thing where they're like we're rich But it's all crashing down look. I recognize everything from the dress barn You know, I do have girlfriends I go there like I know what filings basement is you're not pulling anything over on me No, no, we were aware of what's going. I think you're absolutely right. Are you aware of the latest? The latest stuff going on on Twitter. So Ashley had a fight with Lyle on Twitter. Really? Yeah. And they, which ones Lyle? Lyle is the one who is like, oh, yeah, I was thrown out of Grand Country Day because I was taking upscrewed photos. Ha, ha, ha. Wait, is he the one who's dating Hannah? No, he's, he's dating Catherine. Yeah. By the way, except for
Starting point is 00:10:24 the guy with the long hair, they all look like the same man to me. So I'm just like, I'm having like Georgia flashbacks. It's just like, this is like, like, if you do a composite of like a Georgia boy, like you got you, it's them, you know, the caddy shorts, the top sideers and the polo shirt. And I'm just like, I do not know who you guys are. If any of them mugged me, I'd be so screwed because I'd just like, I do not know who you guys are. If any of them mugged me, I'd be so screwed because I'd be like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:10:48 All of them? You know what, and they all deserve to be in jail. Yeah, they all look like day rapists from the cross teams to me. They probably are. I need to be careful because I can guarantee they're less than 60 degrees separated from me. I need to be careful because I can guarantee they're less than 60 degrees separator from me. I know. It's a final episode of Watchercraft. Right? Bye. I know they take
Starting point is 00:11:12 us off the air. You take podcasts out of the air before you even walk in the sap. Okay, so the fight, what will they fight? I'm looking for this specific thing. It is, uh, this is on Tamra Tattles. Oh God. Tamra Tattles will pick a side. Tamra will be like, fuck that bitch and she'll stick to that side for the rest of her life. And this one is so stupid that she says,
Starting point is 00:11:34 I cannot even choose a side, like they're both so terrible. But Ashley Borders, which I always laugh at because like Borders is lesser than Burns and Noble and it's closed and it just makes me. I was gonna say I could it I was like is this still around? Am I crazy? It sounds like a feature on Photoshop. Do you want Ashley borders on that? No. It's all offended for no reason. It's like I'm offended by the picture I'm bordering. It basically means you put mom hair on your image. Yeah. So,
Starting point is 00:12:02 It basically means you put mom hair on your image. Yeah. So she says at Lyle Mac tweets, which I like that. He's like a McDonald's side. You see the cast is so important. So she says, I wouldn't touch your balls with my life depended on it. You'd have to grow some first anyways, hashtag Southern Charms have.
Starting point is 00:12:22 And then he says, but you would definitely handle my bag and she says your small mind snobbishness will keep you sitting on your ass I work hard to travel the world and I'm doing it and he's like it's nothing to do with where you work or what you do You just failed to tell everyone that minor detail that allows you such such luxuries and she says why do I owe you an Explanation period doesn't concern you, period. She doesn't like spaces, by the way. No, no, no, we've never even had a full conversation. Okay. So basically, this is all about her being a bag person for Delta. Oh, yes. I did hear this. The strangest rumor of all time that Ashley is secretly a bag of Chandler for Delta. Yes. So when she says like, that was on the Savannah airport, I Delta. Yeah. So when she says, like, that was on the,
Starting point is 00:13:05 as a Savannah airport, I guess. But that's why she says, I've been to Dubai. You know, when I was in Dubai, I gave up everything. I gave up my gowns. I gave up my man. I'm like, those are a baggy unpacked. You know what I mean? She's like, I gave up my Louis.
Starting point is 00:13:21 The baggage handlers don't travel. I mean, meaning that like're not flight attendants. They don't take the baggage handler where the plane's going. Oh, man, I wish I would have known before him, because I do know two people who work in the same area. Oh, man. What?
Starting point is 00:13:39 OK. Girl, get on the text. Listen, my brother-in-law's brother's ex-girlfriend works at the gate. One of them, I'm so mad I should have asked. I fact a Chandler's like get to get points or whatever. They probably get like travel vouchers and stuff. Something.
Starting point is 00:13:57 I feel like. So who put the theory out? Lyle did. I think he did it on the show. Actually, he put it on the show. I think at the end of the episode, and here's the thing, I feel like Lyle is not that bright. And I would not put it past a Lyle to misconstruise situation wherein someone told him, oh yeah, actually, she's got a lot of baggage. She's got a handle. And he says, oh, wow, she's a baggage handler at Delta. I think that's where his line probably wins.
Starting point is 00:14:26 That, you know, I mean, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be surprised. Well, I look, there's no shame in having a damn job. You know, it's just, it's just how bravo, it's how they're trying to make them look like they're rich. Like it's okay, bravo. You can have a show where, look, I'll watch a show about baggage handlers fighting, you know, feel like I have seen that we're watching it right we're about to recap it I feel like baggage
Starting point is 00:14:51 handlers it would make more sense that they don't clean their fans enough to the point where there's like cat hair blankets on the fan of the fan starts to house on fire and almost kills the child I feel like that's a baggage handler storyline yeah and I'm a player house is so cluttered because she's obviously been taken stuff out of people's baggage. Well, well, maybe you know what? I mean, I don't know. I've loved Vanderpump rules so much for similar reasons where if Bravo's, if Bravo is going to be genius about this like are with Vanderpump rules. Then I feel like
Starting point is 00:15:25 I would watch the fuck out of a show of a slowly revealing that these people are not what they claim to be. They all work at the air, Savannah airport. It's like low, low key. It's low key. They're all like living lives. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a low rent version of Vanderpump rules. It's like the Eden Sassune rules. It turns out Eden Sassune owns the airport and she walks in slow motion as they are like slow-mo hurling bags across the screen in the opening credits. It just slowly transitions over to that show. Someone slowly like going to security. So crazy. I will say one thing I was happy to see
Starting point is 00:16:12 was the lady shabley getting a shout out. I was the ass that next. Yes, I was the ass about that. Sorry, you go. Oh, ask me, you ask me. Well, so I remember lady shabley appeared on Real House House of Atlanta when they went to Savannah then.
Starting point is 00:16:27 The reason what I want to know is to what degree was Lady Shubley known throughout largest Savannah outside of the gay or the gay friendly community, because Nelson was all like, oh, yes, she is a legend. And everyone knows Lady Shubley, blah, blah. And I was like, he hit the nail on the head. I'm telling you right now.
Starting point is 00:16:45 I was like, I don't know if I should be shady to him about this or not shady. And I'm really glad that we have an authority right now. Oh, no, no, no. Everyone knew the Lady Shobli. Like if you club one was the gay club, do we have like one gay club in Savannah? There may be more now that I don't know about.
Starting point is 00:17:02 But that's the gay club in Savannah. Everybody knows about the ladies Shabley, or knew about her, and oh my God, I love two tears in a bucket, mother fuck it. That was her iconic, her kind of phrase that she would say. Oh no, she was, I mean, she was known because you have to remember too, she was in the garden of good,
Starting point is 00:17:21 midnight in the garden of good neighborhood. She was referenced in the book, and she was in the garden of good midnight in the garden of good evening. But she was it she was referenced in the book and she was in the movie. So no, she was like, I feel like pretty much everybody knew about the lady. She believed. Okay, because I didn't know. I didn't know if and she'd been around for like 50 some years. Got it. Yeah, because I didn't know if he was just saying that to because, you know, obviously there's some question marks about Nelson
Starting point is 00:17:45 And I didn't know if you was saying that to cover tracks or if it was actually true But then when when Lyle seems to have an understanding of who ladies should be was I thought wow like she made she may be bigger than just the gay community Oh, she was like a Savannah legend. Okay. Well, I know I feel like she's a Savannah legend, like Austin had Leslie, which was kind of our homeless, our homeless drag queen lady who ran for mayor and she would like stand on the street in short shorts and roller blades, like with whatever sign she made that morning. Yeah. She like an angeline. She like an angeline. Yeah. Do they ever, I feel like they saw that car. I feel like they showed that one guy in Atlanta who always wrote around on a bike I think I might be I think that's there was yeah like a local celebrity except that like yeah, ladies should be like everybody
Starting point is 00:18:33 They did call her the grand Empress of Savannah like that is real. That is not I think yeah, no she She was an institution and I know we need to let you go But I have one uh... very important question about savanna yes any ross dress for less is per capita or their in savanna let me know that is a good question because okay we have the one
Starting point is 00:18:58 i want to say there's two rosses there's definitely a tj max that my mom is a sister are not like frequent. We have our favorite. There's I'm trying to think there's definitely a Marshalls and a nor like I don't think we have a nor we're not quite fiat enough for a Nordstrom rack We don't have an Apple store. I don't think so that I think that actually answers the question better because yeah Everyone says like royalty in my family's lived here forever I'm like yeah because slaves built your home And like you cannot get a home for that cheap anywhere else It's almost like I have rent control in West Hollywood and I can never leave. It's like my prison because where am I gonna go?
Starting point is 00:19:35 You know what I mean? So it seems like it's they they talk about how they're royalty, but they're like poor royalty like poor royalty, but they're like poor royalty, like poor, poor, or what would you know? It's, I mean, if you had your, the whole, how's the prices are drastically different than, yeah, it's like, it's so funny when I first moved out here, it was such a sticker shock for me that like,
Starting point is 00:20:01 it's, it is a completely different world, but you're absolutely right. It's like, there's homes been in the family. It's like there's homes been in the family. There's like land that's been in the family for years. And you're like, I knew people who lived on the street that was the same as their last name. Wow. So I guess, yeah, I guess my last question to you
Starting point is 00:20:16 is sort of dovetails with this, which is coming from Sevant, or coming from Richmond Hill and being in the Savannah vicinity, Vincenity, I can't speak. The point is this. All right. Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
Starting point is 00:20:28 What was, like, has the show, do you feel like has the show been portraying Savannah accurately? Because you know, sometimes the shows come up, people are like, this is not what Savannah is like, but this is not what this city is like. Do you, how do you feel about how Savannah is being portrayed? You know, full disclosure, I've only seen this one episode, but I feel like it's a very specific population of Savannah.
Starting point is 00:20:53 I feel like there is, I mean, because you're seeing the people who, like you said, who went away and are coming back for the purpose of the show. There is some truth to like the nightlife, the way that you hang out because it is kind of like a baby New Orleans in terms of like you can walk around with, we have open container law. So there is like the going out and the tourism. Well, it was my favorite scene in the end of the first episode. Ashley's house catches on fire because it's for a dirty ass cat blanket fan And then there are all the ladies are in a bar and they're like, hey, I'm gonna take this chocolate martini
Starting point is 00:21:33 Home in a plastic cup. That's all right, right? And they all walk out with rhodes of their drink and just want to go check on the fire Yeah That's pretty on brand That's pretty on brand. Awesome. Those are the things that actually make me like this show. You know, I like that it's different and it's just kind of their own version of Rich, but it's really poor. It's like the keeping up appearances of Bravo.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I completely agree. And oh, there's just a hit just of two things I almost forgot that I wanted to mention. And Ronnie, you're from Texas, right? Yep. Okay. So am I crazy or does it feel like it's not a real drag show from the South that there isn't at least one Reba back and tie and Dolly Barton? That drag show, I don't mean it's not a real drag show when they can't even come
Starting point is 00:22:16 up with real drag names. They're like, that girl's name post it notes. Did you guys catch that? Did you know, did you see? Did you notice lavender mist? Quote unquote. That's like a glade flavor. You know what I mean? It's like a glacent.
Starting point is 00:22:30 Do you know why? Do you know who that is? Uh-oh. No, who is it? That's Raja. Oh, that was Raja. That I maybe, I may be wrong, but I believe that that was Raja.
Starting point is 00:22:41 I like to think of Raja most for his role on American's Next High Model. That's where my heart goes, too. I like to think of Raja most for his role in America's next high model. That's where my heart goes, too. I know he... Well, yeah, because he was the makeup artist for Tyler. Yeah. So I think they probably flew Raja in for this because I was like lavender mis looks very familiar.
Starting point is 00:22:57 Well, I was just in... Are we going? Oh, sorry, go ahead. Oh, well, you're gonna say you were just wearing? I was just in New York for a lesbian wedding and all the, they had like a ton of drag queens there that work at lips, which is a big drag club there. And these girls, one of them was like,
Starting point is 00:23:11 I spent $10,000 on all those outfits that you saw in that number. And that is called commitment. And I'm like, yes, bitch. And then I watched this right after I'd hung out with them on my, and I was like, this girl is showing up in like, hose with holes in them and a mini skirt
Starting point is 00:23:26 and a white cotton tank top really like what kind of drag queens is this it doesn't make any sense to me. Yeah that's another thing that when I saw Raja that also made me feel like oh the giraffe I I bet you they let them film it club one but none of the drag queens wanted to participate. I don't know it's I mean I'm just like speculating it's like all these little things where you're like, that's not that one guy see the one the one queen in the black seemed local. It will probably was like four p.m. Honestly, I think you're probably right. They shot me. They like, and then like we do not show up unless it's proper Southern charm, not this weird Southern
Starting point is 00:24:04 charm Savannah ripoff. Yeah, and also the queens were going show up unless it's proper Southern charm, not this weird Southern charm Savannah rip off. Yeah. And also the queens were going off about how it's, you know, they feel like monkeys for the straight people sometimes. And they're, you know, because they work in a big drag club. So there's a lot of bachelor at parties. And they're like, it's okay if it's respectful. You know, I just have this whole conversation with them. And then watch this where they're like, ah you've asked to bet You have to be your drag queen. He's like Yeah, I think you're right. I feel like they because I was like these don't look like local queens to me like southern queens
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yeah, you know It was interesting. I feel like there were people who probably didn't want to participate Which I like yeah, which by the way speaks to Savannah's true southerness because I really just feel like anybody who that would have been worth their salt, who they would have wanted to have participating on the show probably just was like, no, thank you, but no, thank you. Yeah, even the drag we're not in a form for this like Trump
Starting point is 00:25:03 loving do we in the front row who says racial Abathats, you know, on his free time. I don't know cuz they were doing like Hillary jokes and Nelson was like, oh, that's a good Hillary. That was weird too. I was like, I don't understand what's happening. Southern, you know, Southern, it's different politically. So they'll make the Hillary jokes. Anyway, thanks for coming. Good to have you, Lisa. You guys are so sweet. Thank you so much for having me. I tell the people where they can find you on social media or
Starting point is 00:25:35 or what stuff you're doing that you want to promote. You could find me Tim and Lisa on Instagram or Twitter. I don't tweet as much as I guess I should. Lisa on Instagram or Twitter. I don't tweet as much as I guess I should. But now I write for a UCB sketch team called The New Deal at UCB. So we go up the first Wednesday of every month at 830 at UCB Sunset. Right. I, uh, yeah. And so that would be awesome. Good for you. Yeah. So that's not an easy world to work your way up in and you really have done that. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Yeah. It's, uh, I mean, you guys, it's not the, uh, the cutthroat world of Savannah, Southern charm, but, you know, I do my best. Yes. It's not the, the world of, uh, undercover baggage handling, but, you, but yeah, you know, I'm just I'm trying. Yeah, it's still poor people, but you guys are much better with wigs. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:26:36 All right, well, thanks a lot for coming on and giving us some Savannah context for this show. We're going to go recap the episode and everyone go follow Lisa on on social media. Thank you. Have a good one guys. Hi. Hi. Hi. All right. Ben Giu. So let's get her going. Shall we get it going? No, I'm on regular Southern charm. I was like, wait, these notes look too classy. I know. I'm like, time to shift into recap mode. See if we can do that. Well, my voice's already going southern, so I guess that means I'm ready to talk Savannah, talk in depth Savannah.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Well, we jump in this episode right where we left off, which is the morals and beliefs fight between Ashley and Hannah, where Ashley is at Hannah's house Trying to explain will not really even trying to explain strip golf. I guess trying to defend it And Hannah has just told her look if you want to get naked on the golf course I told I totally You know respect your values and beliefs and she's like watch how you phrase that that that means you know She that thinks that means she thinks she's better than me because she's like, watch how you phrase that. That means she, you know, that means she thinks she's better than me because she's
Starting point is 00:27:45 holding her. And that's the thing in the South. Christians will judge you based on their Christianity scales, you know? Yeah. As she's basically making herself out to be like the victim of religious persecution right now, because all Anna is doing is saying, look, it made me uncomfortable. And, you know, I personally wouldn't get, like I personally wouldn't get naked. If you want to, that's fine.
Starting point is 00:28:06 You can have your values and beliefs. That's fine. And she's like, what values and beliefs? How could you say that to me in Savannah? Really just persecution, Christianity, how my God is world? I'm Joan of Park. It's like, that's wrong.
Starting point is 00:28:16 That's actually wrong. I'm going to start my cell phone fire on this park bench. And then we can Ashley's origin story, where she's like, that is one of my problems with this town. I got kicked out of church. I was asked to leave for dressing like a slut. And then they show her, and it's not even slutty at all.
Starting point is 00:28:38 I'm like, what was that, your ankles? Like what got you kicked out? Yeah, she apparently was not dressed appropriately for church. So they asked her to leave the church and then the family stood up for her and then the whole, then the church was like, and you guys can go too. So she was, they were all kicked out of church. And it was very much like, you know, footloose was happening.
Starting point is 00:29:00 And she's like, next thing you know, they wouldn't let me dance. Well, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stop my shuffle off to Buffalo for no one. I'll tell you that. And she gets what I've been on how to really vicious game of chicken with two tractors and I almost died when I went right down that hillside. Turns out they were both chickens. Go figure turns out my tractors were actually chickens, which is, which makes sense why they made so much noise when I tried to start them up.
Starting point is 00:29:23 That's when I got kicked off the cotton plantation. That's when the chickens kicked me out of the cube. I was like, fine, this is Savannah, typical Savannah. You try to act like a chicken, and the chickens won't accept you. When chickens Christianer than another, she actually says to Hannah, she's crying now. And she's like, oh my life, I've been told to change, change, change.
Starting point is 00:29:43 I was like, they meant your clothes, you know, like literally just changed. Change the change airplanes. You're loading the bags into the wrong one. Change, you go to gate 21. This is Southwest not Delta. God damn it actually changed your route. Why do we have to have labels Southwest Delta?
Starting point is 00:30:01 Aren't we all just flying in life? Why do we need this? So she goes into her whole hand's like, well, I just wanted you to let you know how I feel Hannah's terrified, you know, I guess not know what she's doing. She's like, I want, I would lift my arms higher, but this is my secretary dress from the barn. And I can't, I just want you out of my house.
Starting point is 00:30:24 And she says, I just wanted you to know how I feel. And Ashley goes, how you feel? Well, here's how I'm feeling. I'm getting attacked by the girls. And that's why I go strip golf with the boys because they don't attack me. And Hannah's like, uh, her shirts weeks are going red or eyesable. She's like, I literally have a crazy person on my couch. Why did I ever sign up to be on reality TV? I'm not even from this city. So then Ashley starts saying, so then Hannah's like, all I'm saying is that, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:55 you made me feel uncomfortable. That's all I wasn't attacking. And Ashley's like, well, you're uncomfortable. And this makes me uncomfortable. So now she's, she's actually attacking Hannah for being uncomfortable. And Ashley was just so ready for this let fight that's not happening, that she's she's actually attacking Hannah for being uncomfortable. And Asu was just so ready for this lute fight that's not happening that she's having it in her mind by her
Starting point is 00:31:10 else. You're right. And that is such a good observation. She's so furious. And Hannah's like really I just wanted to like have you taste my pimento cheese until you I still love you. Like Hannah doesn't even know whether fighting. And Asu's saying things like grow up. Oh just grow up. It was a one piece grow up and you know what you need to do you need to let me see what she says here. She goes get smarter She tells her get smarter get smarter get smarter and then I then hands like well, you know I'm entitled to my opinion and she's like well I never even got to bring a my opinion and they couch like a montage of her giving her opinion on the situation
Starting point is 00:31:47 I have anything sums up Ashley. This is it. She's like Get smarter. I'm out of here and then she leaves and she picks up a skateboard Yes, and then she rocks what the wrong way to the elevator so they show a storm off with With their skateboard and then she comes back and has to like get into the elevator so they show a storm off with their skateboard and then she comes back and has to like get into the elevator. Well, I also like that before she leaves, before she left, Asher was like, let me just try like something else that sounds like a really withering attack but makes no sense because she's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:32:18 This is perhaps the wrong way to talk about it at a hand. This is the wrong way to bring this up. I'm like, she's having a very calm, civil conversation with just a two of you guys. There's no other way to bring it up. Just, do you want it to hire a blimp? What about skyriding? Don't get me. You're sitting having a calm conversation on the couch alone. Like, how is this wrong? She's like, if you want to have a conversation with the rebel, you better be ready to get on a skateboard, hoverboard, or roller skates, not even plate, and be ready to do it in the wrong way on the bike lane. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:50 She's like, you have crushed my spirit. No, literally, you're sitting on my spirit airlines employment badge. Could you just get up for a second? Thank you. I would love to finish this conversation, but the Latred, I'm waiting for it to change. Oh, great. Now you want the Latte to change too. And then Ashley also says, as she's storming off with her skateboard, you know, there
Starting point is 00:33:14 are ways to clear the air. And I'm serious. You have to think about that, but it's hot. Like I don't, I think that's what Hannah was trying to do before you interrupted her and went on to this tangent about Christianity. We don't need a monologue about cloud seating, okay Ashley. So then we go to the bros, Daniel and Lewis.
Starting point is 00:33:35 They're, Lewis, Louis, I think it's Louis actually. Or hanging out. And so then Hannah calls up Louis to be like, oh my God, this crazy bitch just came in and just started attacking me and talked about the church. And I don't even know what to do with this situation. She's like, did I miss something? I don't get it.
Starting point is 00:33:53 So he's like, okay, guys, Hannah's called, I'm going to need to go, you know, put a fire out. So he goes over to her apartment and she's still going off. And this is the best thing about Southern fighting. It's these little things. And Hannah has the upper hand in this one, obviously, because she's right. But she just can't let it go.
Starting point is 00:34:13 And now she's obsessing. She's like, did I miss something? I mean, it was underwear, right? I mean, it was one piece underwear, but it was still underwear. And then she got mad. Then she had a skateboard. What's that?
Starting point is 00:34:23 I mean, is that even a lot in the hallways here? I'm new here. Is that a country game? Cho then she had a skateboard. What's that? I mean, it's not even a lot of the hallways here I'm mean here. Is that a country? She's more in a helmet She just keeps talking and it won't and he's just listening like a good husband He's like, oh, huh. You're right babe. You're so right and she goes well, you know what? I don't even want to talk about it anymore and he goes we don't have to But can you believe it? Was that a piece? I mean, was it my fault? Was it me?
Starting point is 00:34:45 What did I miss? What did I miss? She can't let it go. He's like, can we go back up to your apartment while we sing on a bench? She's like, no, you're not allowed in. So then the next day, Daniel goes to visit Ashley at her office, known as the House of Strut, because she's
Starting point is 00:35:07 going to queen of fine, because he lost his bet. So he's going to get into drag, which is like very tiresome. It's just like, it's just like, this is just like a stupid made for reality TV plot thing. So he goes over there and he's getting, he's getting dressed by her. And we're crosscutting because Catherine is then visiting her gay, what's the name of her gay? I don't remember his name. The worst. I'm just calling him the worst. Oh, I don't think he's the worst.
Starting point is 00:35:33 I don't mind him. Although I have concerns that he's the worst. I'm concerned that he's an interior designer and I'm concerned about his home. It feels like you should make your home look as amazing as possible, right? Um, I think he's the worst, but I'm adding stuff from the end. He was being the worst at the end to me. And this one, he's just being funny because Catherine has decided she has
Starting point is 00:35:56 to have a job. So she's going to be an interior designer and she's going to mentor under the worst. And um, this goes into a really fun section of the show of him just trying to show her what to do. And it's intercut. Right. So we have is over there getting dragged and it's hard to not be offended. And I hate getting offended over stupid things like this. But it really is like, I can't do this. And what is what do you do when you tuck? And like Ashley says, well, what happens when you touch and like Ashley says well what happens if you touch and then someone gets excited and I'm like you're supposed to be like the gay friendly one and you're being really like Mickey Mouse in these drag queens.
Starting point is 00:36:34 Right. And it's gross. I'm not offended. I wasn't offended by any of like the ooh like track like I wasn't offended by that. I'm just more offended by the lack of originality in this scene. You know, like, oh, isn't this crazy dressing up? Oh gosh, talking. It just feels like stuff that's old
Starting point is 00:36:53 that would have been funny 20 years ago. But now it's like, you know, society has moved on. You know? Yeah, yeah. There's a whole TV show dedicated to this, guys. Yeah, and the Queen's like, well, I'll tell you this. If someone was on the golf course dance and the random her bets, I would cut a bitch. It's very resa-esque. By the way, did you have you seen Reza's Instagram lately?
Starting point is 00:37:16 He posted a video of him doing like pull ups, whatever. And the entire, this is a total tangent, but the caption was like, bitch lost 40 pounds. It's like, what does the bitch got to do to lose more weight around here? Like this motherfucker is losing so much weight am I right bitches? Like was a muff fucker got a dude to eat some food around you and not gain weight am I right? I'm like go go rest up. Please. I thought this was like a Last season way of talking like you're attempt at doing black comedy at the improv like please stop Resa bitch losing weight is like an agent person trying to merge into a lane bitch
Starting point is 00:37:54 Am I right motherfuckers His offensive racial comedy. He's like you black ladies know am I right bitch? Black ladies know am I right, bitch? So little tangent there. But so Ashley, so Daniel is now like through this drag experience. Daniel's trying to kind of advise Ashley to be like, listen, you know, you know, like, maybe settle down a little limit. Let me hear what what it was. And she is talking, Ashley tells her side of the story as if she was totally normal and totally
Starting point is 00:38:26 rational during the fight with Hannah and that Hannah was the crazy one attacking her for being Christian and all this all those crap. I'm like that's not how that went at all. And Daniel knows because anybody who's known her for more than five minutes knows that how that's how she is. And then how she's acting later in the show, I'm wondering if she's just on medication or needs to be medicated because she was just so crazily out of line in the first scene. And then at the end, she's like a valley of the doll.
Starting point is 00:38:57 She's like, what do you mean? It's over. Everything's great. Everything's great. Yeah. Everything's wonderful. So back over with Catherine and her gay. Catherine's like, all right, let's get serious. Now this one's always drunk, which is hilarious. Yes, she's my favorite on the show. She's my 100% favorite. She is, she is hilarious and a producer asked her, well, what do you want to be when you grow up? And she just looks really confused.
Starting point is 00:39:26 And then she goes, a model said is in. And so she's talking more about, you know, she wants the gate to mentor her in the, in the ways of interior design, et cetera. And she's like, I feel like I have a knack for design. I design my own apartment and they cut to her apartment. And it's just like the most broy solace bro Ikea, you know, like black fake leather couch with like tile floor and some weird animal rug and like weird animal prints. I got that sparkly. I got that purple sparkly chair 10% off at home. Goods because there was a scratch on the back. So interior designer.
Starting point is 00:40:06 I put, you know, I put a cow hide on top of my Poe ang chair from IKEA. I got a knack for design. Let me tell you what I can do with the flur. I put a little area on my living room where I could just let the crabs walk around. I like to call it free range crabs before putting them in the pot. No one can put together a flim-gong like me. Like you have furniture names.
Starting point is 00:40:34 So he's like, well, I will be your mentor girl. We will go, I'm going to go to this big huge mansion of my friends and we are going to go room through room and you're going to show me things and if it's terrible I'm going to tell you it's terrible. So that is their plan. And then we is this now when they yeah they go now they go to the actual drag the gay club bar one or something like that was it one bar bar one. I was curious. I was curious. Yeah, I'm just club one. I don't know. I'm trying to remember what Lisa said. So yeah, Daniel, well, I didn't realize was,
Starting point is 00:41:11 I thought Daniel was supposed to like get dressed in drag and I didn't realize he's supposed to do a drag show. Yeah, you know, that's quite a bet. Yeah, it was a little over the top for such a stupid, fervilist moment on a golf bet. I'm saying it's like over the top meaning like, that frivolous moment on a golf bet. I'm saying it's like over the top meaning like that's a lot of time and energy that's devoted to this, you know? Yeah, actually just what I had to show her titties, which she did anyway. I'm more like with something like that, like whoever loses trip golf buys me, buys around the drinks.
Starting point is 00:41:39 Like, exactly. Keep it simple. Like, not like has to then go spend an hour getting dressed you know Spatting trying things on then spend another hour going to this thing getting makeup on and performing I mean that's like that's way too much for what this this bet was yeah And actually needs to make some gay friends because the drag queens are like we need to come up with their drag They're about coupons galore my car is that even a drag name? I know. They're drag names were infuriating.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Yeah. They were like clean to counter. Like how is that a drag name? Lamp shade deluxe. Comfort or cover? Like what? Picture frame. Like what?
Starting point is 00:42:23 That's not the plan word. So Ashley needs gay friends because she's saying things like your fierce babe. Yeah, and he goes I don't even know what that means. Really? You've never heard the word fierce before because it's like old even in straight world. It's even old in the straight world by like five years and years old. And then Ash then ashes like you ever watch RuPaul's drag race or Beyonce they're fucking fierce and I just was like this just it made me cringe you know sometimes on these shows you're just cringing not exactly sure you can't really articulate why but that just made me cringe I don't I type so much that I can't physically cringe while they're on so instead I wrote an entire line of uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh authentic to you just yet is how to explain. So all the guys start or all the
Starting point is 00:43:25 guys, all the friends start arriving to the bar and they're like, Hey, Hey, gay friends, would you marry Lyle? Cause like what if Lyle was guy, that is crazy. And he's like, he enters the bar, the gay goes, hi, girl, I see real nice. Just keeps walking. Was that we, this is Catherine's gay, are're talking about yeah the worst okay He's like this is real now. I see realness this shit this town is a gay makeover We have like a whole hg tv show where gays just come help these broke down gays Well, then we have Nelson who comes and gives an oral history of Lady Shubbly.
Starting point is 00:44:05 And he is so proud of himself. He's like, well, you know, me and my parents, we would cost Shubbly a shim because he and I just hilarious, hilarious, we're playing words, you know, because he and Shubbly it's like one of those crazy like freaks of nature. You know, I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? Anyway, heterosexual wasps like myself. You know, to gay folks, we all embrace shubbly, yes. You know, speaking as someone who is just so beyond heterosexual, so much that like when
Starting point is 00:44:32 I put a penis in a vagina, all I can do is sing a high note like ladies should bully herself. I think she is just a wonderful legenda. Well, this, we've really learned a lot about Nelson in this episode. And I learned that it's not even gayness. It's really like some it's some it's something. It's like that awkward, hard blinking. I actually for like 15 minutes in this show, I was actually was being like,
Starting point is 00:45:01 Oh, Nelson, I actually started to really like him. It's not that I even really dislike him. Oh, the took a turn towards the end there. Where I was like, I think I'm just liking him again. But I actually started, I kind of wanted to give him a hug. Yeah, because it's not even he's putting across this like gay fabulous personality that he's probably learned from, you know, someone with a lot of confidence. And he's really just like a hard blinking twitchy little guy who, whose parents from, you know, someone with a lot of confidence. And he's really just like a hard blinking twitchy little guy who whose
Starting point is 00:45:28 parents had, you know, were rich enough that they own their own island. And even one of the guys says when they go to his house and a later scene, they're like, well, when one of his family invites you over, they're the richest. They own their own, they own their own island. You kind of have to go. And it made me sad for. I agree. I agree. I actually felt like I was looking at this kid. He was probably like a dorky dweeb. And you know, I called him a dweeb earlier, but I was more tongue in cheek.
Starting point is 00:45:56 But I felt like he probably, you know, he was like dorky in middle school or something like that. And he had all this money and it was probably like, I don't understand, I'm rich, but like no one wants to be friends with me or like the only way I can get friends is if I pay for the experience in a certain way, I find people over, but no one actually wants to get to know me and the only thing that do is like,
Starting point is 00:46:17 some of these women like Ashley, because we're outsiders. And I just was like, oh Nelson, and you know I start to look at him, he's like he is sort of like cute in this like sort of adorable ragamuffin way. And he and his mom are best friends, which is very straight. And I just, I don't know. I, I was like, oh Nelson, which is very penis and vagina.
Starting point is 00:46:38 No. I really was. I was really kind of like feeling for him. Well, we're going to, we're a whole I mean every scene he's in this episode really is like a new Engle on Nelson, so they're still Yeah, I just want to say also that like He he's probably the one that I think is the most interesting on the show so far because he's the one that like every time it comes on It like you always have to say about Nelson, you know, so it's a shame that he's not a full-fledged cast member
Starting point is 00:47:07 and I wonder if that rumor was true because it seems like he should be a cast member. Yeah, because that was, oh my gosh. So he's going off and then the gay is just the real gay, the awful one, is just inserting himself into everything. He's like, well, he says something to Catherine, like he's talking to either Louis or Lyle something about the strict golf. Like, this is this big of a deal is ridiculous. And he's like, well, you know, it's no big deal.
Starting point is 00:47:39 And he goes, he goes, well, I didn't strip. And he said, yeah, but you made the bet and you disrespected your girlfriend. I'm like, oh God, that's what every guy needs is the gay friend coming in and like telling them off about whatever's going on with their girlfriend. Just stop. Just go.
Starting point is 00:47:56 But he also has a point which is that, you know, I mean, if your Hannah is telling, Hannah is telling Ashley that she feels uncomfortable with what Ashley did, but she really did not go after Louis, and that's her man. And it's like, why is it always the woman going after the woman? Why is Louis not being really held to fire? Not really that Hannah didn't even hold Ashley to the fire that much. She just was like, I felt uncomfortable, But I don't feel like she really, or we didn't see her really, um, hold, uh,
Starting point is 00:48:29 Louis accountable. The same way she held him because if Ashley had just said, you know, what that was an appropriate, I'm sorry, it would have been over because Louis is like, oh my God, it was wrong. You're going to be mad. I'm embarrassed. It's true. Like he fell all over himself. Remember because she sat there with her drink and she's like,
Starting point is 00:48:45 well good, I'm glad you felt embarrassed because you should be here or whatever. But Ashley won't let it go. So then, you know, these drag queens start coming out and it's like, influenza something and she's got appeared. And I'm like, no, make it stop. Yeah, make it stop. This is very, yeah, I felt like I was watching
Starting point is 00:49:03 an terrible version of cabaret. So Hannah, amidst this, we should mention that the feud between Hannah Ashley has actually grown because Ashley had apparently sent a flower, some flowers to Hannah and then they had a text message afterwards. The text message exchange, that was very nice. So Ashley thought the entire fight was fine because busy Daniel was one being like take the higher road apologize Earlier in that earlier in the episode So so Ashley had sent this bouquet and Hannah was like this is weird. Just like some flowers arrive Okay, and then I guess you said like thanks
Starting point is 00:49:41 so Ashes all like I thought Hannah was gonna be, I thought everything was fine, but now Hannah's being even more of a bitch than ever before. I'm an outside or church church. We had a warm conversation, but in the South, you can feel the ice storm.
Starting point is 00:49:56 You're having ice storms before you can even walk in the South. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert
Starting point is 00:50:25 experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to
Starting point is 00:50:49 I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the a weaver curled up on a bed before you walk in the South. And in the in the South, I storm isn't just an independent movie that made people feel things about their parent tapping key part is in the seventies. It's also the way ladies and rayon dresses treat you in the South. So basically Hannah and Ashley go outside to have a talk and inside. Happy is like, well, if that happened to me, I'd like that girl on fire. And gay is like, well, she better watch it because Miss Ashley don't play fair. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Good. So they're deciding. Yeah, they're in a new bar. If If change locations are at a new bar now. And they're deciding that they should go outside and happy. It's like, well, I should go outside and make sure that I got my girl back. And the guy's like, I'll say something. Oh, don't even make me. I will say something. I'm like, Oh, no. It's like great.
Starting point is 00:52:05 So Hannah and Ashley have more or less a perfectly fine thing that's like, listen, it's whatever, what on the bridge. Let's just move on. It's stupid. Whatever. I like you. I like you. Everything is fine.
Starting point is 00:52:18 And happy comes out. I'm just want to check. Make sure everything is okay out here. Did I tell you about my plate? It looks like it's plastic. But it's really metal or the other way around. I don't even remember anymore. What a great day. And she says, well, I just want to make sure it's okay because you stormed out of there.
Starting point is 00:52:32 And she's like, did I I storm? No, it's just regular storm. Like a hurricane. No, it's an I storm in the South. Okay, geez. And happy is like, you know, my mom is friends with Deepak Chopra. We can get him on the phone if you want. Really fixed things up here. Anyone with the deep pack Chopra we can get them on the phone if you want really fixing up here
Starting point is 00:52:45 Anyone with the house pack Chopra was an ice pack Choir. I's pack Chopra storm Didn't we get electrocuted no no they said no we're fine and the gay is like drunk and just ready to yell at somebody in beyond TV Like he's so excited So he stands with happy as the other two are just fist bumping, you know, and Ashley's medicated. So she's like, whatever I wasn't even mad. And the gay standing over, they're with happy. And he's so mad that they're getting along. And he's like, well, I'll tell you this much. There is too much cheetah over there. Too much cheetah. Because they're both wearing like cheetah shirts. Yeah. And denim. There's like a lot of cheetah. Because they're both wearing like cheetah shirts.
Starting point is 00:53:25 Yeah, and denim. There's like a lot of cheetah and denim. They're all like wearing different parts to the same outfit. And Catherine's like, well, whatever. It's a fake makeup. I don't care. She's like, is everything okay?
Starting point is 00:53:36 And the gay goes, I don't even know what's happening. I have no idea what's even happening. I'm like, there's no fight. Stop it. Stop it,'s no fight. Stop it. Stop it, gay. Yeah. Stop it, gay. So, um, now it's the next day, and we see the,
Starting point is 00:53:53 the some of the ladies are launching. Some of the bros are playing Frisbee, you know, typical dance of Anna. Nelson and Ashley go to a place with birds, famous cookies. They're, they're shopping for cookies and stuff because they're getting ready. and Ashley go to a place with birds, famous cookies. They're shopping for cookies and stuff because they're getting ready because Nelson's gonna be having a Poker Knight. And so he wants to get some stuff
Starting point is 00:54:13 and his mom comes to meet them there because she's gonna help out with Poker Knight because Nelson's votin' the bros over and stuff. I'm so excited. I love that. I have any play poker, but you know, I can throw a party. I could be bartender. So he's throwing the party for the bros, which you know, is going to go great. I know. And so they're trying to figure out what they're going to have there. And
Starting point is 00:54:33 they're like, well, what about like a sensible salad? And Ash, she's like, hmm, how about like something more masculine? And they're like, what about like wings? The mom's like, yeah, what about like wings and pizza? And also it's like was like, yeah, yeah, that's when I'm in like when I said salad, I meant like wings and pizza and beer. Actually goes, how about sweet? I'm also goes, yeah, sweet and sour too. And the mom goes, man, don't like sour. Patin wings.
Starting point is 00:54:59 He's like, oh, it just comes with sweet, you know, you say sweet. And then you say sour. It's like a Chinese chicken. It just comes with sweet, you know, you say sweet. And then you say sour. It's like a Chinese chicken. I just felt bad for Nelson. I just really did. So then he's like, I've been told by women that I'm too close to my mother.
Starting point is 00:55:14 And I take that as a badge of honor. It was like, Nelson, you're really not. You're really not helping your case here. Being a Southern man is treating your mother and all women with hard link respect and dressing nicely. And he goes these people I always remember going to Green Mile for my birthday party. Which I'm sure he said aisle because later we found out it's their own island, but I just thought it was buddy. He's like presiding over his own green mile. You take back home, thanks. He take there. I have my own prison. That's what I do.
Starting point is 00:55:48 I make sprays. He bleeds everything all day long. That's what you get from messing with nesting. No, no pizza and wings here. Okay. And this is where we find out that he's never fit in and he's just trying to have a party with his mom's help, you know, and it's so sad. And then the mom goes, well, honey, these boys have known you since since school, they'll be your lifelong friends. I just wrote, um, I know. I was like, it actually, I had like some serious arm going on because it really reminded me of what I was like, my institutional efforts, but what I was like, like before I came out of the closet, not saying that he's in the closet, but it reminds me of my time in my life
Starting point is 00:56:33 that was defined as being before I was out of the closet. I saw a lot of myself in that. But I'm not saying he is. He could be totally straight. My mom was a junior league lady, and like I was in the tennis and the private schools and stuff like that. And it was very important for her that we fit in, you know,
Starting point is 00:56:52 which obviously I didn't like beyond the gay thing. And so when, and I didn't need to, like I was fine. I like hanging out with the chillers at the smoking mall. But my mom was like, no, we are gonna have a party. And she made, you know, all of her friends and their popular children over who were fine, they were nice to me. I just like did not fit in, you know? And I just did there the whole time in the corner
Starting point is 00:57:15 of the backyard, like really, they're not even eating the peanut M&Ms. Like, do you know how many pounder bags of peanut M&Ms that is? And like no one even cares, fuck these people, you know. I just remember, you know, you know, when like when I was in the closet, when I got to do things with bros, like it made me really excited because it made me feel more manly, you know, it's like it makes you think, maybe I'm not gay, even though you know you are, it's like the weird mental thing that
Starting point is 00:57:42 goes on, but like it makes you feel like you fit in a little bit more and that's all you want to do is you just want to fit in. So I, I, seeing these scenes with Nelson's, I think sort of reminded me of that time in my life doesn't mean it's happening in Nelson's life, but it's happening. It was happening in my life and it reminded me of that and I was like, aw, so that's I think why I felt like sort of not sad, but it was like, oh, I remember what that felt like that. Yeah, we just want to say like, hopefully like memory sad and I don't like it. So, FF. So now Catherine is with gay awful at this mansion. Oh my God, that also reminds me of when I wanted to be an interior designer and I went to old ladies houses. You guys, I just so many tears. Sorry. So they get in there and this lady is hilarious. This old lady who I'm out.
Starting point is 00:58:35 So she was like, y'all have everything. You breathe. And Catherine's like, can I have some water, which of course turns into two glasses of wine. Yeah. And the lady comes out and she's like, I think it's so great you're doing this. It's when my husband died. I started doing breathless state. I reinvented myself.
Starting point is 00:58:54 And Catherine's like, uh, do you have more wine? Catherine just gets shit faced. Yeah. Which is like, here's my vision for the room. Let's put in white tiles, black couchesches, and one of those cool cubby things from Aakia. Think that'll look real good here. You know what these roommates, something to hold my wine everywhere. We need Dixie cups, okay, because we're in Dixie land, and also we need some roadies to go with this wine. So how did her test to go in this thing?
Starting point is 00:59:26 I don't even remember, it was like the game was like, okay, how wide of this window? All right, we have to put drapes up. Now, how wide do you think the drapes should be? And she's like, five inches. We have to work on your math there a little bit messy. Okay, all right, let's have one. I'm like the D said that.
Starting point is 00:59:42 He's like, but laugh leaves. Like I can't teach people based on saying you learned off a Ross like canvas to print or what printed canvas or whatever. No. So now it's it's like poker time. And this is where again, I think Nelson says he's excited to have the pros over to build camaraderie and have some quality male bonding time, which, you know, that again sets me off in my nostalgic memories of my torture youth.
Starting point is 01:00:08 I'm pretty nice to him, you know, they're like, okay, come on Nelson, we'll show you how to play some poker. But then they poker, I don't even know her, I haven't even met her mother and I'm a good Southern man. If you're gonna poker, you better make that mama your friend first, that's at least a lunch time at Loubees. But it just was sad. He didn't even know how to play poker.
Starting point is 01:00:29 He didn't know any. He's hosting a poker night and didn't even bother to learn the rules. I was like, oh my god, this is not an authentic experience to Nelson right now. He's not a poker player and yet he's hosting a poker night. I was just like, Nelson.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Yeah, so the guys are like put a thousand dollars in the middle of the table. And we take it from you within five minutes. He's like, that was fun, guys. Yeah, he was like, even me betting out of turn. He's like, well, it's not even my turn, but I'm going to put all my money in right now. I'm like, good tell Nelson, good tell. So after the game, and of course, the guys start talking about Ashley. And he's a good friend. He's like, well, I just love Ashley and I think that people just need to forgive her. And that's it. And Daniel's very sweet too. He's like, guys, in 10 years, will we really care about strip golf? And I guarantee you, yes, they will.
Starting point is 01:01:20 Yes, we will. We will. We'll always remember it. By the way, I'd also like to mention that Nelson has black leather couches too So this is like an ongoing thing in these Savannah homes like the shitty looking black leather couches Are there no cup rest? He's like and then this is our foals Diane. We've learned that on the island. It's from the Sheena Shea collection So These are here. So you can't ever get too close to a girl before her mother likes you. Poker.
Starting point is 01:01:50 So they're leaving and he's like, okay boys, bye, I said, right, have a new, and Daniel's like, yeah, thanks bro, that was great. Thanks so much. And then Nelson goes, okay, buy my in word. Okay, buy my in word. Okay, buy my inward. He faces, at first I thought he said, first I thought he said shit face, buy my shit face.
Starting point is 01:02:11 And I was like, that's awkward, like weird. And because the ending was like, he's like, you know, that's how we, that's how we say it down. You know, we're just joking. He's like, no, that just literally didn't make sense. So I was like, shit face. But then Daniel's like, he just said the Yiddish word
Starting point is 01:02:23 for the end word. I was like, huh? So then I went back and I was like, shit face. But then Daniel's like, he just said the Yiddish word for the N word. I was like, huh? So then I went back and I was like, did he say, but then I thought, I was trying to read the lips. And then I thought he said, like, shit, faggot. And I was like, wait, that's weird too. And that also doesn't make sense, but that's not Yiddish. And so then I had to look it up.
Starting point is 01:02:39 And I was like, oh, and when I looked it up, I was like, gosh, Nelson didn't even say it properly. And because it looked like it was like he said it like two or three syllables. And it's like a one syllable word. I was like, man, really botched your Yiddish, I put that there. And then Daniel's poor Yiddish people, like this, thanks Daniel. Like now we all know this is a Yiddish thing. But he said it.
Starting point is 01:03:03 And then Dan's like, whoa, I don't even understand what you're saying right now. And he goes, oh, let me say it again. Bye, bye. E-E-O-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E like on the most germane level, it was a racial epithet, which was really bad. And he was trying to make a witticism of doing this, ba, ma, and word, as if the irony of a white guy saying it, but as a white guy, you're not even allowed to say it, but then he made it Yiddish,
Starting point is 01:03:37 so that way, it would resonate with Daniel, who is Jewish, but by even turning it into Yiddish, it's like he's just going in like two different directions. Like it's being offensive in so many different ways. And Daniel's like, I literally don't know what to say. Right now I just have to leave, because this is so inappropriate. And you're saying this on camera, and I just can't deal. Yeah, he's like, uh, and Nelson goes,
Starting point is 01:04:00 well, if we speak out loud in this family, a guy in this family, we just say it. Oh, no, no. And I don't know. I get what he's trying to do. He's just trying to say like, see a letter, you know, he was trying to make a joke on the fact that he's so wide a rap song before, you know, because like saying like, hey, my N word, that's really not that crazy.
Starting point is 01:04:22 But he was, yeah, he was trying to make a joke like I'm like, wait as milk and I'm making this. I'm singing like this and then the joke on top of that is that, you know, you're Jewish. So I'm singing a Yiddish, but it was just all wrong. Yeah, it was all done wrong. It wasn't, it didn't, it just didn't work. It wasn't right. It was just, it was a fail. It was an epic, epic fail that perhaps got him kicked off of the show as a full-time cast member. Well, let's go to the park. The park bench where, you know, half this shit takes place.
Starting point is 01:04:57 This is the new like back alley of Sir. Is the park bench of Savannah? Where Daniel meets Ashley and she's, you know, and her skateboard again with wacky, you know, high tops. And he's like, okay, you know, stuff is great. So what's up with you? We're not here to talk about me, obviously. And she's like, I'll be a lift out, you know, I storm Southern. So, hard, you got to learn how to clean, hail's like, I just want to be friends with these girls. You know, I never fit in since I was little and it's frustrating because I quit everything in LA and Dubai. We had a mansion, a branch rover.
Starting point is 01:05:32 I was like, no, you did not. You did not. I was like, no, you did not. I was like, no, you did not. I was like, no, you did not. I was like, no, you did not. I was like, no, you did not. I was like, no, a range Rover. I was like, no, you did not. You did not quit your man. It's not like the mansion and the range Rover were free. And then he moved
Starting point is 01:05:54 into this poor little house with cat blankets on your fans. You know what I mean? I know. So Dan, so Dan, he actually empathizes with her and he's like, you know what, I get it. I'm an outsider to I'm weird to and she like looks at him like I never said I was weird. I just said I was an outsider. Oh, okay. So you're weird with me. That means that you understand crafts more than me. Oh, I hit. Crafts was a real rebel. So you're more rebel like crafts than me. Oh, great. Oh, okay. Well, where's your skateboard, Mr. Reader? Where's your skateboard? People like Ashley God bless their hearts. I mean, we see this a lot usually in junior high, but she just needs to be heard, you know, like, I don't know what it is with this episode, but I was repulsed, but also felt for everybody
Starting point is 01:06:43 by the end, which is a good. Yeah, kind of, I know. I kind of want to just sort of gather everyone around and be like, listen guys, here's where you've sort of gone, arrived, but I understand why, because I feel like I understand your souls. I do. I feel like I really do. Because when Ashley just got to speak her mind to Hannah, even though she yelled and screamed and left, she left there like, we had a good talk. Like she said that before. She's like, I don't understand. We had a good talk. I sent her an edible arrangement. You know, it wasn't, at that point, it wasn't even about Hannah. It was just stuff that she had to get off her chest. And Hannah was like, whoa, someone listened to her, you know,
Starting point is 01:07:21 and Dan's like, I'm listening to you. I get it. I'm weird too. And she's like, that nice. May feel better. I'm like, please don't fall down on your skateboard. Like, please don't. There are other ways to stand out, you know. Yeah. So then Louis and Lyle, Louis and Lyle, or as white as we call them, Louis, Louis or Lyle, they just need a, they just need a bean. Lylee. They just need a beam. So they're hanging out and Lyle's laughing about those good times when he was kicked out of school because he was taking pictures up of girls skirts. Ha, ha, ha. I'm like, that's disgusting. That's like, that's not like you, you know, you pants someone or yeah, that's like, that's like full on stuff that would get you on a sex offender registry.
Starting point is 01:08:09 It's like in the 90s that was considered a crime, but these days, I'd have my own website making millions of damn dollars. And then he goes, well, fortunately, the gyms named out to my grandfather. So I think we'll be all right. Oh yeah, because his kid, uh, whether or not it's good, whether it's kids get to get, uh, what are they called? I may have taken some upscirt photos, but don't worry my kids will still get to matriculate because I own the gym there. It's like, oh god. Now anyway, Daniel, let's get you some beaver.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Oh, you're turning grass. So then Daniel, they go to a bar for Brona and Daniel is such a creep. He's just creeping up on girls. He's like, Hey, you want a kiss? They're like, aren't you Jewish? This is Savannah. He gets turned down by every guy got every girl in there. And so they, one girl, one girl even goes, I like your shirt does a come in men's. So they go outside and they're just talking at a table and lie. I was like, did you get a blow, pal, brother? Yeah. And then Daniel, Daniel gets really profound. He goes, you know what I love about life is that it's fucking life, man. You never know where it's going. It's like Ashley on a skateboard, where is she going?
Starting point is 01:09:34 No one knows, how does she do that on cobblestones? Who knows? Lahim to life. You ever see that ice-dorm movie? She talks about it all the time. She's hot before she could even talk in the south. Apparently it's like a cross over with the Adams family. All right, well, that brings us to the end of Southern show on Savannah. Well, wait, wait, wait, this is wait, there is still okay. Oh, no, no, no, finish it off. I didn't mean to cut you off, Bay. I was like, there's still the rest of the scene. No, so basically, um, I just dropped, I just stopped
Starting point is 01:10:11 typing. I just dropped the mic. I was like, I'm done. I was like, the whole point was the whole point was just leading up this the climax to the scene in the episode. So, um, so then they're all sitting out there and they all start bashing Ashley again and Louis is Louis really hates Ashley now He hates Ashley because basically the strip golf now put him in this weird situation And it's called being a good boyfriend. Hey, her girlfriend tells you to you know, that's married He's also like he he he knows he did wrong in that situation now He's sort of blaming her for him doing wrong, you know, it's like that thing where he's projecting, deflecting, whatever. So, so basically Daniel's defending Ashley and Lewis, like, quit being a fucking pussy and stop relating yourself to someone who's
Starting point is 01:10:56 not relatable. I'm like, I'm like, talk about people who are not relatable. You got this guy taking upscrew photos of people and then bragging about how his family name is on the gym at Savannah Country Day and Ash is the one who's not relatable? Who's more relatable than someone who carries a lot of baggage? Yeah, exactly. He talked about human relativity or relatability rather, relativity.
Starting point is 01:11:22 Yeah. Whoa, just took a different turn on this show. And then Lyle also, he's like, I'm not sure I can trust her. I'm like, you took up skirt photos. I mean, I know it was also like 20 years ago, but you took up skirt photos. And why do you need to trust her?
Starting point is 01:11:40 Yeah. Like honestly, what are you guys doing? You're like going around from poor person bar to poor person bar like do you really need to tell your deepest darkest? Yeah, and then and then the best is that Lyle then reveals the big rumor He's like well, I heard that she was a baggage handler Which is like the funniest bombshell rumor of all time because a who cares and be like Wait, wait, wait, wait, where does're just a rumor like that even come from,
Starting point is 01:12:07 like it's such a specific, strange rumor, like we've heard rumors of things like, well, I heard that she does internet porn, or I heard that she's like a mad at me, or she's a yacht girl, but like a baggage handler. It's so strangely specific, and so strangely classist, you know, that I just couldn't help but laugh and I love that that was the cliffhanger of the episode.
Starting point is 01:12:28 So this must have gone out like the cable must have not been working at the end because I would not just black all that out. I mean I was watching it in the hotel room so I'm guessing that it just because it kept free from. Maybe you black. I'm not sure before. But I really was enjoying the show. I mean, my mouth was a gate.
Starting point is 01:12:48 I'm not going to like it through the whole show. I was like, what like the drag thing and then the gay thing and then the Nelson thing. Oh my god. So it's funny that you must have somehow missed this part because I thought that was the funniest cliffhanger ever. It's like, guess what? I heard. She's secretly a bad handler.
Starting point is 01:13:07 Dun, dun, dun. Next we go on to the drums of Anna. I mean, if nothing else with this show, we will always have the baggage handler cliffhanger. And if you know what, that's a winner in my mind. I agree. I think this is the sort of stuff that makes a reality show legendary. Yeah. A baggage handler rumor. And please let this be a rumor that plagues this cast all season long. Did you see the previews for next week? No, I mean, that was the, that was the only thing I saw when it flickered on was, don't, something about don't say you're
Starting point is 01:13:45 relatable to her because you are not relatable to her. And I was like, huh? So I thought the show was over and I was just seeing like the clips of next week. And I said, oh, I didn't miss anything. Oh, you thought the final scene was previous week. I guess because it was flickering in and out. So all this time when we've been talking about baggage, all this baggage handlers stuff, you must have thought it was and out. So all this time, and we've been talking about baggage, all this baggage handlers stuff, you must have thought it was totally confusing.
Starting point is 01:14:06 I thought it was hilarious that that's like the big internet fight of the week. I'm like, where did this even come from? People are turning it out. Yeah. That's why I brought it up earlier. I was like, oh, it's the biggest Twitter, Twitter gossip. That's why I said it like that at the beginning of the show. Like, well, the internet is saying, well, when you brought it up, I saying, well, when you brought up, I forgot where I heard it. And then as we were talking about, I remembered that was Lyle who brought it up. Like mid burp, you know, like outside, not on a park bench, which is a little shocking, but very, like, very amusing. Interesting. I don't, I don't have the same feeling sort
Starting point is 01:14:41 of the game that you do. I actually really like the gay, but very, very entertaining episode. Next week looks like things are going to start to happen. I feel like the show is actually a slow boy. I think we're starting to finally get somewhere with it. Next week looks like it's going to be a dinner party from hell situation. So I'm cautiously optimistic to see what will happen. Usually the show, any reality show, takes a while for the characters to really open up and beat themselves.
Starting point is 01:15:09 And I don't know if they just lucked out, but these are the people are psycho, but the people really, I mean, it's episode three, and you can pretty much tell who every single person is on this show. And they're showing, even if they're going a little bit too far with the like, oh my god, can you believe that photo? My couch. I mean, that's a bit much for me, but at least, like, I feel like we're seeing the real Ashley and the real Nelson and the real Hannah and the real Catherine Liles tricky.
Starting point is 01:15:39 He'll probably be a cheater. I predict that they're like a couple who are going to be in wrong confites. That's going to be a bone of contention on next week, I believe. Yeah, so I've just, I've just like when they show themselves, you know? Well, you know, I have a theory that some of the best reality shows are the ones with like a super bland cast because they're bland in the beginning, but then things slowly unravel and it usually gets to a pretty like real interesting place versus a show that's where everyone comes in as like made for TV reality like like personas, you know, like like there goes the motherhood or or like mother
Starting point is 01:16:21 funders, it's like blah, but you know, like give me a summer house, give me a sorority life. Those are shows where in the beginning, like these people are all a little kind of like generic, but then you just get so wrapped up in their things. So I'm hoping that Savannah goes the same way, although I think at this point in summer house, I was already like extremely addicted.
Starting point is 01:16:42 Yeah, well Southern House also speaks to you on a different level because what did that say? I think you like extremely addicted. Yeah, well Southern House also speaks to you on a different level because what did I say? I think you said Southern House. I probably would also watch. I'm not treated as this week. Ronnie, I really enjoy you, but half of what you say, you say completely out, you take completely out of context and you say the wrong people are saying them, like you're incorrect more than half the time or something
Starting point is 01:17:05 And I was like yeah, well apparently you've been paying attention Thanks for being so nice about it, but that's kind of just how my brain works. I can never be a witness, you know But anyway, that brings us to the end and everybody other charms Savannah, but it's Friday. Oh Southern Charms Savannah, but it's Friday. Oh, I always have to. The most the the most nerve-wracking part of the week for me is when we're recording our Friday episode and I know Ronnie has forgotten the mailbag and he's gonna try to wrap up the show and I have to like slip it in there before he wraps it up You know, I got a secret in my hands. I don't remember. We just tried to end the episode. You tried to end the episode twice now.
Starting point is 01:17:48 I'm not a very smart person. I've smoked a lot of marijuana in my days. I enjoy life. Is it comes and I'm going to enjoy the mail bag. It's not that I don't want to do it. I just I don't remember. I need a calendar invite to pop up and be like, Dean.
Starting point is 01:18:02 Well, Friday is our mail bag day. Wednesday is our listener spotlight. We haven't done it in two weeks because I keep emailing people. I only they're checking their emails. So I'm just starting this week. I'm a circle back that people we've already heard from. We're just going to go back to the old people. And if anyone hasn't had their moment yet, just reach out to us. And we will, you will get your moment. But we're're gonna circle back. But right now, speaking of circling back, we have the crap in the mail bag, which actually still has lots of questions in it.
Starting point is 01:18:32 I'm just opening it up. I'm basically just bamping right now. Let's see who we haven't heard from. Sue Vlocky. Sue Vlocky says. I love the pun, right? Sue Vlocky. Now, there's a drag name. Yeah, that is a drag name. It's like for a big Greek drag queen a.m. and you guys kept me awake, laughing all
Starting point is 01:19:05 the way. And then she says, I haven't yet looked up pictures of you two. In my mind, you look like Tom Schwartz and Tom Santavall. Am I close? You definitely have the bromance of Tom and Tom. So thank you. That's a butcher than those guys, but much much muchcher. No, I don't think we look like either Tom. I don't know how we even how we how we describe ourselves, but it's an honor. I look like time daily when she shaved her head and Ben looks like a GQ model. No, no, no, thank you, but no, that is I feel like I am a young Ikebod crane. You are not. I have bad posture. I love that with who did you tell? I think that interviewer
Starting point is 01:19:54 lady from the Huffington Post, she said, would you guys ever want to be on your own reality show? We both said, hell no, and pink does. I would really hate for people to make fun of my posture. I mean, if I went on the internet and they were making fun of my posture, I would cry. And then you go on Twitter and they're making fun of my posture. And I was like, what? I've never heard your posture in security before. I just have general body in security, but posture is one of the things.
Starting point is 01:20:18 I have bad posture. Bad posture. I love and good looking people like don't get it. That's so cute to me. Well, you're super sweet to say that, but I have my insecurities. I'm entitled. I'm entitled to my insecurities.
Starting point is 01:20:33 And then there's one last question here. This is, oh, wait, no, I'm sorry, too. So, let's see, Jess Dang says, in Boston, there is an upcoming, the ultimate wealth and success summit. This is a conference hosted by Tony Robbins. The special guest speakers are Tom Brady, Julian Edelman, and Bethany Frankel.
Starting point is 01:20:53 Please tell us what you think her speech will be. Thanks. What will Bethany Frankel's speech be at the ultimate wealth and success summit that's hosted by Tony Robbins? I'm trying right now. Like I'm crying. Oh my god, that's somebody even wealth and success. Like I don're the same right crying right now? Like I'm crying? Like, oh my god, that's somebody even welcomes you success.
Starting point is 01:21:07 Like, I don't even know why I'm crying. Like I'm crying right now. Like seriously, er, I don't even know. Like, I don't even know. Like seriously, like, like Tom Bray is here, like deflate gate, like, like I don't get it. Like what's wrong with deflate? Like who wants to be, who wants to be inflated?
Starting point is 01:21:17 Like honestly, like, the whole point is like skinny girl. Like honestly, skinny football, that's what I want. Like how about this? The football should just be like a piece of leather. Just like throw it around and like just like run it. Like I don't even get, I don't even get your sport. Like what's the deal? It's like, there's no feeding it. Like, you know, it's like barely a ball. It's what I want. Like how about this? The football should just be like a piece of leather just like throw it around and like just like run it. Like I don't even get I don't even get your sport. Like what's the deal? It's like there's no feed in it. Like you know, it's like barely a ball. It's not even a ball. It's like a big like weird thing. Like you know what you do? Get a ball. How about that?
Starting point is 01:21:32 That makes sense. That's a cheater brand. That's your ball is a cheater brand. That's not even a proper brand of a ball. So the ball made out of fits like seriously. Like what is that? The old goal like it's not like that's not not even a goal. It's like a post. I don't understand. Touchdown. What are all these things? What is this? You know what?
Starting point is 01:21:49 You know what? You know what? That doesn't make sense. There's no base. No one's playing base on the field. I don't want to do sports. Let's just see. But let's have something skinny.
Starting point is 01:21:58 Skinny baseball. Like Bethany. Slap. Yeah. Tony Robbins will be like, shut up. I hate Tony Robbins because one time I was listening to one of his weightlap lost tapes. He's like, if you gain weight, don't buy new clothes. Wear the tight clothes.
Starting point is 01:22:15 And then it reminds you. That pain reminds you. And I'm like, you know what? Fuck off, Tony Robbins, okay? Yeah, fuck off. We don't need you to tell us that because we do that already. And it doesn't work, by the way. I've been pouring myself into the same genes that no longer fit me that are two sizes too small. And I'm like, this will shame me into eating better. And it has
Starting point is 01:22:34 not worked for nine months. Okay. Yeah. If cupcakes got fitting rappers, there would be no muffin tops. And those are the best parts of the cupcake. Yes. You know what? If you want to shame me into never eating sweets again, put poison in them. That's how you do it. Poison me. Wait, one last question. Because this is the last one in the mail bag.
Starting point is 01:22:55 And then we can sort of new mail bag. This is from Jessica Riley. And I know Ronnie, you were aching to have your cigarette. But this is from Jessica Riley. I just had it out the screen door. I'm good. I could do you never two hours now, girl. I get nervous with the mailbag always because I always know that you're eager
Starting point is 01:23:11 just to like go. And I'm always like, okay, well, no, I started my new segment. I'll learn at my house, smoking at the screen door. And I've just had this has been brought to you by Marbrose that cost me $17 and 50 cents in New York City. Fuck you. New York City. Yes. Welcome back, by the way.
Starting point is 01:23:29 So Jessica Riley says, please recast Gilligan's Island with Bravo Lebrides. OK. So Gilligan would be Andy, obviously, not only because he's the star, but he also has that goofy like Huh, like he doesn't really understand that they've crashed Yeah, it's like sort of their fault that they crashed you get that feeling like the skipper
Starting point is 01:23:55 probably should have hired someone better And if they've skipper did not have Gilligan then maybe they would be home by now, but instead of he has, but now he has Andy Cohen and you're like maybe if Andy Cohen weren't, you know, like smiling at the camera so much and preening that maybe they would have gotten back to port, okay? Yeah, okay, so ginger would be Probably Sonya. I mean she doesn't have red hair. Yeah, I think yeah, I think Sonya is definitely a genuine definitely the ginger Skipper is captain Sandy Skipper was at like two on the Yeah, I think yeah, I think Sonya is definitely a gentleman, definitely the ginger. Skipper is Captain Sandy. Skipper was at like two on the nose. Um, I think Skipper, I
Starting point is 01:24:31 don't remember what his character was like. He's always like, you're like, he gets frustrated. I think he might be, I'm trying to, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like Captain Lee, because Captain Lee, I feel like Sandy, there would be no show, because she'd just be like, all right, let's take a nap. It's like, we have to fill 30 minutes here, Sandy. We got on to nap Island. Okay, well, this is great.
Starting point is 01:24:52 I mean, I know we should probably get back to our lives on the mainland, but you know what I see here? I see a whole island suitable for napping. I think I feel like Skipper is neither Lee nor Captain Lee nor Captain Sandy. It's probably maybe Reza. That might be just like physically. Maybe like it's probably someone really huffy from Beverly Hills. Someone who gets flummoxed a lot. It's probably like Arlene. Arlene. I lean. Okay. I lean the skipper you beast you beast okay
Starting point is 01:25:25 So then the something in his wife. Wait, can I say could PK be the skipper? Yeah, PK could be the skipper. Okay I don't know. I do like Eileen the idea of Eileen as a skipper Okay, so PK's the skipper Mary Mary Jane what's that girl's name? Oh, yeah, she's the innocent one because there's ginger there's Mary Ann Mary Ann, right? Mary and she's like the sweet naive, right? Yeah. So she would probably be like Gina.
Starting point is 01:25:59 She know. Okay. I think I have one of each of the sea shells. Thank you. And of course, the professor and his wife, I mean, who else could do that except Lisa and Ken? Yes, yes. That is 100% what it is. So basically, it's almost the entire cast of Oakley Hills as being able to get in the
Starting point is 01:26:18 island. Is there anyone else we left off on from the island? I think that's it. Skipper. Well, they had that part where the monkeys got lost on the island. Remember, like they're playing Crash for a week. Wait, no, there's another guy on the island. That would be board George.
Starting point is 01:26:36 Maybe like, hello. Professor Marianne, there's another guy. There's a guy on the island. Isn't there like a hot guy? But you don't remember. Okay, that can be Peter then. There is. Just throwing Peter into our Gilligan's Island analogy.
Starting point is 01:26:53 Because you don't remember him, you know. He just kind of shows up. No, wait a minute. How did he get mom hair if they have scissors on this island? I have to look up who he is just because I know people are going nuts. Like, this is too classic of a show for us to omit a full character from Gilligan's Island. Okay. Professor Marianne.
Starting point is 01:27:13 Professor Marianne, I feel like if I say it, it's going to come through. Gilligan, Skipper, the millionaire, Thurston Howell. That's the professor. Now the professor's, the professor's just the professor, I think. Isn't it, he's the one who told us to talk. Oh, wait, oh yeah. Oh, wait, Thurston, the millionaire, you're right. Wait, the old couple is, is that Thurston and love,
Starting point is 01:27:42 is lovely, lovey? Uh-huh, yeah, that's his wife. Wait, oh, the professor, the professor's just someone else. The professor's just a different guy. The professor. Who's the professor? We're just stupid. That's the easiest one to remember. The professor and Marianne.
Starting point is 01:27:58 Ginger, the millionaire and his wife, ginger. Okay, so that's Lisa and Ken. Lisa and Ken are the millionaire and his wife ginger. Okay, so that's Lisa and Ken Lisa and Ken are the millionaire and his wife and the professor Is there anyone smart on Bravo I honestly cannot even come up with one I can't even think it's probably Thomas Ravennell So he's not smart Yes, of course. Please say fair.
Starting point is 01:28:27 I love. It's like not even a high level term. Let's say fair. I'm like, he's so smart. He says, let's a fair. Gosh, it's smart to me. Gosh, I can't even think of a literary reference to be funny right now. Oh, that was enough. I think we got a good cast going for that for the remake, for the Bravo remake.
Starting point is 01:28:52 Yeah, I think that's, I would watch it. So that would be Gilligan's Island, Bravo Gilligan's Island. And that's also the end of the Crappens mailbag. Well, everybody is been a really fun week. Please go out and have some fun. This is a holiday weekend, so we will not be here Monday. We are actually going to be on holiday. What do you think of that? I think it's great, but we're still going to have the same number of episodes. You're just going to get two episodes on
Starting point is 01:29:28 Tuesday instead of one. So don't you all worry. Yeah, just mean that there's nothing towards to a Monday. But you can go back and listen to an old episode if you're driving home somewhere. Yeah, y'all go go hurt your brain. Too much rosé. Okay, everybody. Yeah, everyone have a have a wonderful weekend and be safe and tell all your friends about Watcher Crappens. Bye. Bye.
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