Watch What Crappens - #466 RHOP & Invite Only: Emu-tion

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Kangaroo wraps almost break a marriage on Real Housewives of Potomac and Larry doesn’t like drama on Invite Only Cabo. Will Emily’s emoji pillow ever be the same? Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content,

become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cramp, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Madonna Hines Mia Hanson Loha Christie Dowerty just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson we love you girls Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on yo bros I'm Ronnie Karen from Trash Talk TV. And the Rose Pricks Bachelor at Podcast,

which just came out today and is so funny. We left a long time, so go listen to it. And here I am with my gorgeous little friend who's always in my memory, even on Memorial Day, and especially on Memorial Day. Thank you for what you've done for your country, Ben. Uh, you're welcome. You're welcome, America.

You're a fine bandilcker on the B side blog or the banter blinter or at B side blog on Insta and Twitter. Yes, please come follow me. Make me feel loved. I did it. I did it desperately. Welcome home. I did it. I need it desperately. Welcome home. I'm a stew. I missed you too. How is your time in Palm Springs for your for your little weekend? Literally no one cares. Let's do it on the bonus because

fine. That will turn into five hours. I was just I might play. Light pattern. Light pattern. It'll turn into an ugly cry. You don't want that right now. Well, our bonus episode is going to come out a little bit later this week is come out on Thursday this week instead of today. So everyone just gird your lines. Speaking of lines as in line, lamb lines, something you might find at the restaurant Oz. Emual lines. Let's talk about let's talk about real housewives of Potomac. Oh Potomac Potomac Potomac. Oh Oh, I was into it. Oh, real housewives of Potomac. This show makes it fills my heart with sadness sometimes. Yeah. Like Robin. Robin, Robin, please, Robin. Robin, here's why I feel very sad when I watch the show

because these poor ladies are being shot through some sort of shitty Instagram filter. Have you noticed the color scheme on the show is terrible. It's like, it's like they're being shot in one of those filters no one ever uses like Sutro or something, you know, everything's kind of like a maroon, like a harsh contrast maroon, you know, I don't know what's happening.

I don't know what's happening either, but I'm really loving that they're continuing random bravo traditions like this one of going backwards, like the sunset boulevard reveal of the dead guy in the pool and then working backwards. Yes, they're really, they are really embracing this on the tonic this season. I think we've had about four episodes already. They're like three hours earlier, you know? Yeah.

And especially, I especially love it when they don't even try to make it a mystery. Because normally it's like, how did this happen? Why is everybody yelling at each other at a dinner party? And this time it's just Ashley screaming at her husband. It's like we know what happened. It's not a mystery Well, I think they're just trying to remind people hey There's gonna be some drama on this episode. So don't go away Just please just please watch us. It's gonna be good one. We promise. Yeah, basically it starts it

You're in insane asshole. I can't believe you're acting like this. You are insane asshole. He's like, well, think I have a choice in the restaurant many times. No you don't. Moira's restaurant, Smarrou. By the way, one of our listeners actually went to Oz last week and took a picture and posted it on our Facebook page. And she said it was really good.

She was like, you know, it's a good restaurant. And I don't know why more people are in here. I guess the market for e-moo sandwiches is just not there yet. Yeah, I mean, look at their market. If this is all people like Cherise, I mean, Cherise is like, what the gonna if they're next?

A vengatane? And she says it in like this Asian accent. I'm like, okay, way to be an asshole and a racist asshole at the same time Yeah, it's not a Chinese restaurant. I didn't pick up on the Asian accent But I picked up on the ignorance of it all, you know Like I mean she's gonna be the type that's like this restaurant. So see urchin Why do I want to eat urchin? Like why don't want a street urchin? I don't like poor people

I'm not eating poor people. I'm not eating sea urchin Upshurys Stampain womb Vampain Fata I don't want a street version. I don't like poor people. I'm not gonna get a puppy. I'm not gonna see us and Upshorey stamp paint wound stamp paint So anyway, yeah big fight and then an eight days earlier in Potomac Eight days earlier, I'm like whoa. This is a long lead up to a fight by a car It's an entire passive or period has gone by. So I'm really into a fight by a car. So Ashley is now are eight days, eight days earlier,

Ashley's at the kitchen of Oz and she's like, really liking the new food that the chef is making. What's his name? Chef. Chef Brad. Chef Brad is like, you know, this is a step in a right direction. People get turned off by 80s food. And then he's like, look, seared scallops. It's funny because yesterday, so I am a little under the weather. I've been once again, I'm besieged by a cold. What can I say twice in a month? I know I know everyone. It's okay. I appreciate the support. I appreciate it

So in my illness I Ordered like a whole bunch of me so soup last night and I was eating it and I was naturally have to watch TV while meeting my me so soup So I turned on the food network star It's not even food network star. It's like The second chance to be on food network star. It's like the second chance to be on food never stars. They bring back all the other shitty people who are lucky to be done with

including Joy Joy of the what's came true. And so the challenge was it's like Valley Bernelli and Tyler Florence making these people have to update foods from the 60s 70s and 80s. So it was thematically perfect for Potomac, you know, like, and they even had to cook in these kitchen that look like Karen's kitchen. I was like, this is the Potomac tie and we've been waiting for all along. I don't know Valerie Bertnelli is a

person, but I know her as Valerie Bertnelli, and I feel like I know her, and if I was on that second chance kitchen, I would just make her mac and cheese, because I feel like I know her and if I was on that second chance kitchen I would just make her mac and cheese because I feel like if you make Valerie Bertinelli mac and cheese you're gonna win I would just if I were on it I'd probably stressed out but I would look at Valerie Bertinelli and remind myself I just have to take it one day at a time Okay anyone anyone anyone want a naked night joke no one no? No one? By the way, one day at a time, best theme song, perhaps in all of TV history. And even though Gloria Stefan took her stab it with a new version, it's not as good as the original. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Gloria Stefan, how would you feel if Valerie Bertnelli saying like that kanga song? You wouldn't like that. How about you just stop? How about we just all leave Valerie Bertnelli alone? How about that?

Anyway, the point is this. 80s food is that this, so the chef is like we're moving on from 80s food and somewhere at least a band of pomp is having a hard attack Darling the 80s with a pinnacle of cuisine ask chef Joe. I've got an idea Salman Chilean sea bass nothing says 2017 like Salmon. Salmon. Nothing says 2017 like Runaatarter on a wonton chip. Darling, let's get rid of the toasts and put it on wonton chips. Caesar salad. So Ashley, back to this crazy story. No, no, that's me. I'm still like, I'm still upset about Valerie Bartonelli and Gloria Stefan. Like, that's a huge fight my brain that probably didn't even happen. The rhythm got one of them, but we're

not saying who. The rhythm did not get the scallops because they're still on a plate. All these years later. So Ashley is basically changing the menu because Michael keeps saying no. So she's doing it behind his back with Chef Joe, who I'm not sure that I trust because not chef Joe. Chef Joe is that sir. Chef Brad. Oh chef Brad. Oh, you're right. Yeah, Chef Joe is still calling. Chef Brad is in a split. Yeah, he's in a tacit rivalry with Chef chef Joe right now because by talking about the. Yeah, he's in a tacit rivalry with Chef, Chef Joe right now, because by talking about the 80s, he doesn't want the food to look 80s anymore. It's like

a subtle, you know, calling out of Chef Joe in my mind. I bear him. I dare him to make a cabbage soup. I dare him. So either way, so they are modernizing the food and they have a food photographer there and they are going to be taking pictures and stuff. And so the first dish is like a fried chicken and donuts with corn, which is actually Ronnie something that I had when I visited Austin and went to what's a call. Do you know that place? Don't a place? You know, Gordos, Gordos. Sorry, I was sneezing. I had to meet my microphone. So I've got mayonnaise. That's so funny. I was about to blow my nose and mute it while I blew my nose.

That would require me to stop talking. And I've had a venti of tea and I feel like I'm more jacked up than any coffee I've had. So yeah, I was like Gordos and that shit is good. I had the donut bites and dumplings. I mean, don't buy chicken and don't bite dumplings I'm so dumb. Okay, so they're putting yeah, it's They're trying to make it look right and he's like why you make it look different. It's all the same color I'm like, okay How about you calm down photographer? Yeah, the photographer is being being ridiculous because they the way they arranged it Just looks like a jumble of shit on a plate. It looks like someone actually threw up the chicken and donuts and we know that that's actually a very solid dish just based on our aforementioned

Gordo's experience but it looks terrible and Ashi is like, I can't do my Ashi voice today. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I continue weepingeping but as you basically is like can you even tell that it's chicken and donuts and the drivers like what does it even matter? I'm like you're a food photographer. That's the thing that matters the most. All that matters is the

cone. And then Ashley Ashley think, well after those green eye bands, it came in like thieves in the night disrupting my business. I noticed that a business is something neither of one of them have. So yeah, last I checked, snap, snap. I'm like, girl, your business is paid for by your husband who won't let you change a dish.

How about we stop trying to reinvent feminism? Okay, let's go back to the original way where it was actually like women making an effort. If a chef makes chicken and donuts and a forest and no one is there to eat it, did he ever make it in the first place? That's what I ask. What smells? Hold on. Oh my god. What am I burning down? I'm burning down something. Ronnie, oh my god, Ronnie has caught something on fire fire This is like a call back to the time on the podcast When when there was a fire in my building. That's a little bonus bonus to everyone. Sorry. What was burning? I threw a cigarette in the sink and

It was just a cigarette. So I was it's in the same I was I filled the time by by reminiscing on the time when we were podcasting And it was fire in my building And I had to leave oh My god, thank you for vamping because you know I hate to edit that's left in if there's any episode where I can Man, but today I cannot stop chattering So Valerie Brittnelli So then we go over to Robin, who is one. We're at the camp, the one camp.

Yeah. And someone says, you swirved that joint. I don't know where I read that down. I just like it. Yeah, they park his wand came in and he just sort of like did that thing that I've never been able to do that. I've always been too scared to do where you come around to curve. And then you just go directly into a spot like one big semicircle of driving like not even like sort of pausing and adjusting

he just got right in there and that's when the kid was like you swerved that joint. So Robin is like well campus of family of error I mean we can really bond here because Juan can do what he likes and he doesn't even have to look at me. Oh, oh, I'd also like to point out that they clearly shot some new interviews for this episode and Robin has full Hell and Slater hair and she's like completely coming to her own as a faux hell and Slater. You know, Robin in these scenes when she's alone and like being emotionally abused by some guy who's wishing that she was dead, it's easy to feel bad for Robin, which I do.

But then I remember her last week just going in and being like, this is my finger in your face. And then I remember that she's a horrible human being and I don't feel bad for her at all. I don't think she's horrible. She's horrible. I don't. As we've seen horrible behavior on a lot of you shows and her Getting mad at Robin and be like this is my figure in your face is really

Nothing compared to the show we've seen on other that's true from other women. It's really benign Yeah, she's kind of okay. It's just like jazel winds her up and then she gets horrible because it happens It's two years in a row now that she's only wound up by Giselle. Yeah, but um, anyway, she's like, well, so could as he want to do this because he has so much to offer. If my boys can see their dad be passionate and successful, then Hubert, over at the golf range. And she joined by Monique, who shows up in wedges, which is very suspect. I don't know if wedges is the perfect thing to wear when golf is all over her. She's like, well, I guess you didn't get my memo about what to wear.

Top golf. I'm like, Karen, you're in short shorts, a skin tight white button map and like a hair scarf from the 50s. Yeah. She's had a poodle scrot on. What did you like? I just did to match my ovens and appliances. So, so basically Monique starts telling Karen about how Giselle wouldn't give her her

number the other night and then Ashley shows up and now Ashley's in heels so now everyone's in the wrong shoes and now she now Ashley is complaining about the girls commuting to the restaurant making a scene and I love that Karen isn't even like well that's terrible she just turns to Ash and is like what did you do Ashley? What did you do Ashley? I played the victim you know what you're a man you need Ash Ashley? A little more eye candy, am I right? Eye candy? Eye candy? Like a pilot.

Eye candy. You know what I'd order if I was at your restaurant, Ashley, a tall glass of water like Jacelle's boyfriend. He certainly is my candy. I'll sure spill the tea on that one. No, I won't spill tea because I have manners. As you'll see that I've framed in a rostress for less photo. Let's cricket. So Ashley's like, what did I do? I didn't do anything. They came into my business and they yelled at me.

Like, what did you do, Ashley? Ashley, and then Karen just kind of like tells her off in like, Sonati mom way. Like, I'm just here because this needs to change. Yeah. She's like, what we all need to do is we all need to come together. I'm like, don't you realize all this should happens whenever you guys come together? Like, that is not the answer for you people. It's not like she tried to sit in the center of the booth during your birthday. Ashley also Karen is wearing in her diary room session. She's wearing a new

bathing suit dress. I love that she just wears dresses made out of bathing suit material. It's hilarious. It's a new thing that goes all the way up to her chin and it's like a bait. It's a bright or maroon bathing suit with a big clown ruffle on the shoulder. She loves a clown ruffle. This is from the Santina Rice collection. Water aerobics Ashley. So then we go over to Monique's house where Monique and Chris are putting the kids to sleep because they're crying and Chris is like You think how dude cries like this? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Jack. And then they said, Monique's in bed with one of the kids putting them to bed. And he's with the daughter like, she looks really like a thumb. He's so big. And he's like, Daddy going to get you a mocking bird.

Like all the trees are falling down in the forest. Oh. So there, then in the other room, when he's like, baby, I love you. Have a great sleep. Give me a kiss and go, I kiss your boobies. She's like, I'm going to tell your daddy on you.

I'm surprised she wasn't saying to the kid, you know, before you go to sleep, just remember, you know, marriage isn't easy. You know, we certainly have a heart like your dad and I, like, we have issues and stuff, but we get through it, you know, we got to do it in the sex life is great. The sex is great. You know, it's probably like mom, please stop talking about this. You tell everyone, I thought I would be spared. It's like, please just read a story. Please don't try to just tell me a story, mom. Read from the book.

Okay, mom, I don't care about your air raider. Just please read me frozen. Well, there was this little girl named Goldilocks and she wore a red thing and I love red capes. I used to have this red cape when I met your dad and I was like, I'm not gonna date him because he did all these other women told where this red cape and he's like, I love red capes. I used to have this red cape when I met your dad and I was like, I'm not going to date him because he did all these other other women told where this red cape and he's like, I love your red cape. And I was like, oh my god, I'm in a red cape.

And I was like, are you going to marry me? Well, the kids just do the kids like, oh my god. She's like, once upon a time, Goldilocks was walking through the forest and she found a house and there was one bed, the bed was too big and one bed. The best is mom one bed was just right. So she just bought all three of them because that's fine. And you know what? The treat is we're not bragging. It's just like that's what Goldie Lux has. She just has three three beds.

That's like, that's it. Like I don't see what the big deal is. A wolf came and tried to blow her fish aquarium down in her kitchen. She was like, I'll just move to a different kitchen. The end. The end. And then Goldie Lux had a sideier party with the bears. And that was it. One of the bears said, this mac and cheese is too cold. And I said, you better get that out of my house, trick.

And then one of the bears came and didn't even bring a $700 bottle of wine. Marked out to 250. So next step is a double date with Jizz and Karen and their men. So Karen, they're like a go kart place. Basically, the only place these people ever get to go are park benches or chain restaurants. They were just at top golf and now they're one of those like go kartcart places. And if you're in Kitsado, the carms you go, please tell me. We're not at Warehouse. You can see Ray got excited. He's like, oh, I love a place with lots of inventory. Are we going to organize? Are we going to walk around and look at boxes and package materials?

Oh, Ray, you're so romantic. I take it back. That's my man. Ray. So Kevin comes over and he's like, hello, old person. How lovely to meet you. And he grabs his hand and then puts his other hand over the palm. You know, like that double handshake. Yeah. I'm like, I do not trust you. I already don't, I do not trust people who trap old people hands. I don't trust him. Well, I also don't trust when he says to Karen. I'm a hugger. She's like, oh, wow, the eye candy hugs. What I go. It's like a large long

Beppermint grabbing me. I Haven't been this excited since I saw someone we're appropriate footwear to the golf range. I haven't been this excited since I saw someone we're appropriate footwear to the golf range It's like if you were in talk if you were at top golf what kind of shoes would you expect me to be wearing Kevin? He's like not wedges. Oh Kevin drink water Cavity to take my breath away. I do say so myself. Now, once you're favorite material, silk, satin, or some sort of synthetic bathing suit material,

I'd have to say synthetic bathing suit material. Oh, Kevin. I do say so myself that people can come for me, but they don't know where to find me except for Kevin. If you come for me, you better be prepared to drive down a very long driveway, because I require one and whatever home I'm in. The circular, preferably.

So she's going to give advice to Chiselle. And she's like, well, if Miss Chiselle would like my advice, and they show a clip of Karen like, I'm going to have a lingerie shoot for Ray. Oh, good. So then she tells us Jessica Rabbit has nothing on me. I was like, did you not have a May West reference ready? Like, Jessica Rabbit. Betty Boop has got nothing on me either.

Really, I just compete with Carjans. Talk about dishes from the 80s, like a modernized your sex talk, lady. So, Jacelle says so. It's even appropriate though, because Ray is a little Roger Rabbit-y. I can imagine him being like, Bbubbubble, please, Karen.

A Roger Rabbit was like, Eddie, what you need is to not show your booby so much because you're old. I can't help but wander why my car keeps asking back to me so much. Let's see here. So, just a little bit of hair cut otherwise Ray will go crazy. So they're putting on their helmets and just all goes well, that's a small and large. Like she says everything is such a bitchy way and she goes that lady has a big head. Kevin says she didn't mean the helmet and Karen who with anybody else would have been like the man is that man not at the will.

And of course I realized we're not at the Willard, but I have to assume that the Willard has some ownership in this fine go-carting complex. That man referenced his penis in a warehouse. Someone please tell me I wasn't just attacked by an imaginary penis in a warehouse. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave the go-cart symposium. Yeah, but not him. She's like, oh, tall drink of water, Kevin. So they race and raise driving like really slow behind them. He's like, I know there's a stop sign somewhere here. Otherwise, how could you curve

with confidence that you're not going to hit a dough? Well, dear, you don't want to go too fast because you never know when one of those deer are going to actually jump out at you. See how I've said deer, I called you deer's a little joke there. And then Karen gives us weird advice when they're go-carding in Chisel. I think Chisel wins and Karen goes, Chisel, never beat the man if you want the marriage to last Right. Yes, nothing nothing will sever a marriage like a like a woman beating a man at GoCardin Way to keep it current lady. Yeah, so she takes Kevin away to have a talk and Jazell is stuck with Ray and

Ray's like Nah, Jazell says she's ruined my day, she's ruined my day before. And now she left me with Uncle Benz. I like this, it's not Uncle Benz. It's like Uncle Ben apostrophe S. You just left off the rice, steep it, Jacelle. So, so basically, yeah, Ray is sitting there. I'm raised so cute. He's such an old man with his like,

hiked up cack, he's in everything, and he's trying to give some advice About you know why like Jazeel needs to be Getting married and stuff. He's like well, you know because You need to track guys why you still can because in 20 years man. You're gonna be bud ugly So just think about that for a second You're like the first time you see water leaking on a wall And you think that's not so bad, But before you know what the wall just falls down and sags until you have to

get a new wall. She's like, wait a minute. Give me the fuck away from this old man. You see, you ever see a flash flood? First comes down like a trickle of water through the canyon. The next thing you know, your car is just pushed all the way away and you're never going to have it again and you're hoping you've got your insurance. That's what aging is like. One moment, everything is fine. The next thing, you know, everything is fully ruined. And guess what, Giselle, you're a drilled riverbed waiting to be flooded. You're just a cattandi right now, but soon you'll just be a dead rose and no one buys dead roses. Thanks Ray. So meanwhile, Kevin's with Karen and he's like, oh Karen, I love that scarf and she's like, oh

Kevin, if I do say so myself, I always thought of as more of a patch me in it and a scarf, but you can call it whatever you are. Well, Shade did it. Didn't she? She or Charmin something something ain't you given? Like, okay, now Shade reference. You're a spirit operator. Aren't you? Huh? Is it really a crime? I don't think so.

So Karen asked him about sex. He's like, we haven't had sex. She's like, I don't believe that, Kevin. You're a good looking man. Aren't you something something? Shade, we haven't had sex. She's like, I don't believe that, Kevin. You're a good-looking man, aren't you something, something? You're not there. You think she'll do this? You guys ever are sacks? He's like, what's that? Well, it's like sex. If you do over a facts machine, you ever do that? Ray and I do it all the time. It gets awkward with the cover sheets and everything, but you know. he's like, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, black bell gates sit down this don't fade okay I am not like windows 95 I am up

to date so now Michael and Ashley in the morning he's like good morning we need to talk about that's a good terrible radio show Michael and Ashley in the morning so yeah she's she's lying in bed He's like I've got some menu ideas on the palm pilot She's like yeah, we used to like massage each other and touch and now it's all about crunching numbers Yes, she's upset because he wants to do business and he and he's upset because I don't know what I don't really know why she's changing the menu because she basically is trying to lay it on him. She's like, well, we are going to have a party because you know the menu changes and caressing.

And he's like, wait a minute, you're taking all the orsy out of the menu. It's not for you to say the menu is changing. It's more restaurant. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, but I'm the one who is who runs the restaurant and it is my it is my choice Essentially and yeah, she announced she tells him that there's gonna be this critics choice dinner, which is basically food bloggers and then now he's really upset because he didn't know about it It's happening in like two days. He's like the negative from a blogger. He's will stay nothing from a blogger I'm like not really

Not really first of all if you give the blogger is will stay nothing from a blogger. I'm like, not really. Not really. First of all, if you give the blogger free food, they're always going to say something nice. I speak from experience. Well, not this time. They found the only one with really negative shit to say. They're like, here's some camera time. Yeah. Well, that guy was a fool. I don't like tomatoes that are, oh, he was like a famous chef or something. Yes. He was like telling them off. And now she's like, where could you see you? Queen night monster. I also don't think that like a bunch of food bloggers is going to be as terrible

to the restaurant as having a full camera crew. That's broadcasting all the things that are wrong with us, the entire nation. Yeah. A negative food blogger on television is worse than a tree-biting just do it. Just do it Mike. So he's mad and she doesn't care. She's gonna do it and she goes wow Is this like us prepping for for Parenthood and he goes no because when we have a baby we'll do exactly what I say like how is this any different? Yeah, exactly.

You're never having a baby. Yeah, you're never having a baby. Don't think we forgot about what happens season one, Michael, also, by the way. We don't, we remember what your story line was season one. Okay. We know there's no baby coming up. We know the real reason why you're angry in the morning. Yeah.

Why is it ever got cut? Well, it has to do with certain behavior that happened at body parts and body parts and hands on asses of men. Will I enjoy visiting Disney Land? Is that making me Mickey Mouse? So the girls get all their invites and they're these like golden envelopes, which look, these girls haven't had an invite that's not on an e-vite for ages. They don't even know what to do with the paper. So we should see. So look at this. Look at there. If the invite.

She's like the land of love. Of. Oh, my goodness. And then everything. First of all, by the way, you know, the women are all going to come because even though they're all mad at Ashley, they're never going to turn down a free meal. And then I, first of all, by the way, you know the women are all gonna come, because even though they're all mad at Ashley, they're never gonna turn down a free meal. And then I love how the invite says, your two cents are invited as in like, I'd like to hear your two cents, and they're all like, two cents,

I have more than two cents. I'm like, you people are so stupid. The fact that you're getting offended at this shows how dumb you are. If she thinks she's getting my two cents, she doesn't know me. I'm saving up for a new stove. And Teresa's like, I have more than two cents. Maybe I'll go if I can feed anything I can eat. Rat dogs. Rat my little dog. I'm like, you are the saddest woman

I've ever seen. Please go inside. Dogs are like, uh, we're more than half. Yeah. You haven't had good food in here since just all made crabs these years ago So Robin the kids are being chefs. It's my mom's birthday You know Juan is uncomfortable even though my parents raised him as their own He didn't have a good dad and he wants to be different so he's a good dad Like no, not and wants to standing there being an asshole. And now the parents did raise one and it's a special dinner for her birthday. And it's like box mac and cheese because they're so poor. And then he's just standing there and he's like, I don't even know what it is.

I'm just being a dick. But he's standing there and he's like, Hey hey Robin, my boss asked me to meet him. No, your boss did not ask you to come meet him. Yeah, it was like a Sunday afternoon or something. You're gonna go fuck your hussey during the woman who raised you's birthday dinner. You really are a fucking asshole. Well, he probably feels guilty about like a situation with Robin and doesn't want to be around the parents.

And she's like, well, you just tell your boss, that you're out doing something to your family. That's just the way it goes. And she was actually right. I mean, I know it's not in all situations that doesn't work, but if the boss, last minute, is like, oh, I need to come, need to see you. And you're like, oh, sorry, am I mother in,

ex mother in law slash my mom's birthday dinner? I think the boss will understand. I'm sure, as boss is the camp guy. It's like his boss is calling like, Hey, we need an important, it's an emergency dinner meeting to discuss basketball camp. Yeah, shut up one. It doesn't even sound like you're trying to be believable. And then so she tells him that and he says, you're trying to downplay this. You're trying to downplay it. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's

parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. You need to be better. Just be better. How about that? So she's like, well, he can be distant, but I don't know what's going on now, but it's definitely something like Robin he's trying to get out of here to fuck his Hussey who you know he's got because Ashley's told you 20 times the season. And you know what though? It's not really, he's not even like wrong for doing that

because you guys are divorced. Yeah, exactly. So she's like, mom, thanks for coming over. I'm thinking of going on sancestory.com because I want to understand my roots. Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I would like to say the kids were very cute.

They're younger child, I think it is. He's like, there's's like bean pull he reminds me of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy and that's a good thing It's like adorable like Groot is good Groot is that cute little wooden thingy. I Think it's I'm this is a good thing. I'm complimenting the child for being super cute. Yeah, he's cute He's the waiter. He's mad. I can't do something to drink Welcome to our restaurant. So I used to do that with my brother. We used to have a little restaurant too. We called it the golden egg.

And we would serve my parents breakfast and bed. But of course, it's very young. We didn't really know how to make breakfast. So it'd basically be like, my dad would make breakfast if I remember correctly. Actually, I don't know even know we didn't even make breakfast. We just made a menu and we'd come and be like, my dad would make breakfast. If I remember correctly. Actually, I don't know if we didn't even make breakfast. We just made it menu and we'd come and be like, welcome to the golden egg. We're serving you breakfast and bad.

And then we'd be like, okay, can you make breakfast now? Yeah. The gallon of milk is really heavy, mom. Could you come pour it for us? Yeah, pretty much. Oh, so next up is Karen and Jizz and this is Karen doing her blue draw two photos for Ray She comes out wearing oh no, she's not dressed yet, right?

So just all comes over wearing some Cheetah like pajamas. Yeah, I definitely like some sort of like owed to Cheetah Ra from the you know thunder cats or something like that that She's wearing a cheetah. It's not pajamas. It's a it's like a bodysuit and you know, it's it's kind of like a funny outfit And Karen's like you did not wear a cheetah outfit to my photoshoots my photoshoots is ill. I hope you remember that Make them tell us like well, I'm gonna show you how to pose So she goes on the stairs and spreads her legs and Karen goes, now, just, you want to get married, not turn into a hooker on the stairs before you even get a chance. I liked how Karen's, her version of a sexy photo shoot ultimately wound up being her in like a man's shirt with a tie and a hat.

It was like very Michael Jackson and very Liza Manelli that white shirt with black tits and a hat. Like no lingerie to be found. She's like it's a sexy photo shoot where I'm going to show a little bit of skin around my calf. And this is how it okay. I'm sexy. What about Gartars? And she goes, Whoa, Gartars, those are too much. That's too much for a, I don't give them everything at once. Now, my breasts are named Florence and Henderson and they'll decide. I was thinking about wearing some khaki shorts. I thought that might really turn him on, but I'm going to be extra rescapes. Now we're only shorts at all. What do you think, Jiz?

On cargo shorts where Ray realizes he can carry a wallet, plus a screwdriver, or anything else that is on his mind. I was thinking in honor of Ray, wear some tight pants and a polo shirt that's perhaps slightly too big but tuck it way in there. Maybe he had dangle some sunglasses from the collar. Well, don't you play me that jazz heart baby. Oh, too hot for Ray. Change the channel. Yeah. You stupid. So horror music, it's like, it's like a serial killer walking down the street in a lifetime music. One hour before event. So Ashley's at the restaurant, she's like, where are the waiters?

How many waiters do we have? And he's like two or three and she's like, oh, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun to it. It's unresolved. I'm sorry. Actually, where's Carl Maldon? Ashley lays it out for us. How scary this is. She goes, if this doesn't work, it's the nail in a coffin. It's like one nail. It's like the coffin that can never hold a dead person in. Like, what are you even talking about, Ashley? Even the coffin doesn't work well at Oz. talking about Ashley even the even the coffin doesn't work well at us. So we now now she's in a fight with Michael I mean, no, it's like a real fight because it's not even on speakerphone, you know, this is a true real fight and so they're they're talking the phone and she's mad at him and she's yelling things like this has got about you. This is not about you, you know, and we don't know what he's saying. But like, we're hearing things like, do you want me to care about you or the restaurant? Oh, you are the

restaurant. You are the restaurant. And then he drives up outside his car and he's like so angry. He can't even park it, right? And she's like, you want to be a bully? Well then come on in here. I'm ready for you. I'm ready. So she goes out to fight with him. And he's waving off the cameras. He's like, no, I've told you once. And I'm telling you to once, no. And so he goes to hide behind the car. Did you do not come in here?

So this is basically just a huge fight. And she's like, he has stopped your yelling. And she goes, you yelled at me. I'll take you and say an asshole. Oh, it's all about you. I don't massage your feet or wrap your ball bag. I'm sick of it. I just want to say, Ronnie, what I'm loving

about your action impersonation today is that it's really moving into olive from blitzer for Broadway. I know. I don't know where mine even went today. I love this. I just supporting her illness today. No, it's a huge compliment. Charmed, charmed, to be, or not to be.

Got to be my character needs more scenes. Charmed, charmed. I don't care. So this is an awkward fight. But the poor chef Joe, who's polishing glasses for some reason is just laughing with the, you know, the hostess slash waiter slash bathroom attendant that they fired hired. I, Michael does the thing that drives me absolutely nuts.

And we see it all the time on these shows where they were clearly just yelling at each other on the phone. And now once the cameras are there doing that like that fucking mind-trick thing like, why are you yelling? Why are you yelling right now? Keep your voice down. And you know who else does this? And we're going to get to it later in this episode. Freaking C'monny on Invite Only Cabo. And I mean, to be fair, Ashley actually was yelling here, but C'monny later on, she's the queen of being, you know, saying, on I have an issue

uh first fall can you keep your voice down yeah I hate when people do that and it really especially bugs me with come on because she's such an asshole she's like well you're a dirty whore I need you to keep your voice down because it's like a deflection you know when people do that it's basically a deflection it's like I don't know what to say right now, but I'm going to change the topic. And it's going to make you mad because you like either a you have a right to be fun yelling as in Ashley or be. It'll make you mad because you weren't yelling, you know, it drives me nuts. And so Michael is doing it here to Ashley and then she's like, fuck you, you're yelling at me all this time. And then so now and then it gets then it gets like real serious. She's like, you know, she basically is like, if you shut down this restaurant, the marriage will be over. And he's gets then it gets like real serious. She's like you know she basis like if you shut down this restaurant the marriage will be over and he's like it's my wrist wrong

This I wrote down so much. Yeah, he's like this is mine and She's like oh everything's yours. It's like you're my dad not my husband. I'm like oh, yeah This this is when you find that out How many times have you almost choked death on those nets? Like now you realize? Unfortunately, Ashley, there is no pull-out method when it comes to owning a restaurant. So Ashley, so she storms into the restaurant and now Michael still wants a talk to her. And now he just wants an apology or something like that.

He just, all he wants is a sorry. For what? I'm not sure, but he just wants a sorry. And he, and he also wants to cancel this critics choice dinner, which is happening in an hour. Could you imagine canceling the critics choice an hour before all those important food bloggers show up? He goes, for him to say he's going to close it. Just, it's to remind him that he holds all the reins and all the power in this relationship.

I'm like, yeah, Ashley, like if you want your own power, go get a job. Like you, you spend all his money to keep opening your little passion projects. That's not the same thing as being an independent woman. If you want to be independent, go do it yourself or go raise money from somebody else. Yeah. You get to own. It's so weird. It's like, I want to be independent, but use all of your money. That's not really how that works. Yeah, exactly. Then he then he pushes like an Australian, some sort of Australian agenda. I mean, which I understand he's Australian and I get that I get I think didn't they talk

about it last season when they were putting together a restaurant. They were excited to do an Australian thing restaurant, but seems like they are way to they misjudge the market and they are way to stuck on this idea. And it's really seeing the thing. It's like eating things that people have come on our Facebook and said, we don't just eat kangaroos. Like, I don't even know what these people are talking about. They're like, Kowolabe, it's a Kowolabe club. Like, just because it's from Australia doesn't mean we want to eat it, you know?

Yeah, exactly. It's not like there are American restaurants where we sort of bald eagle I mean, of course it's endangered and you're not supposed to kill that but either you know, you know, we don't serve grizzly bear You know, that's true. Yeah, but Thank you. Thank you But also, you know, because I have done a little bit of research about Australian cuisine because I don't really know what it is and From what I've heard of what I've read about Aasha'an cuisine, like a big thing are like meat pies.

That's a really popular thing in Australia. And in fact, there are a few Aasha'an meat pie places around LA. And basically, in fact, LA Weekly had a whole article about Aasha'an cuisine about two years ago exploring what it is. And Aasha'an cuisine is sort of similar to American cuisine in the sense that it's really influenced by other cultures. So that like there's apparently like a really big Asian influence in Australian cuisine, like a lot of Thai.

If you go to Australia, there's like a lot of Thai food. And also Italian food, there's a big Italian population there. And there's a big cafe culture, which is just my way of pontificating about a cuisine I know nothing about. And the point is this, that's where they should be getting their inspiration from not koala meat. And yeah, no kidding. Maybe Madonna Hines, our super premium sponsor can, uh, can weigh in on what, what

this cuisine is like, because she's from Australia in case you missed the podcast spotlight a few weeks ago. Um, what was I gonna say? I don't know. I derailed everything with a monologue that no one truly cared about. I know. I cared. I love the meat pie. I didn't even care. I was like halfway through. I was like, where's my blood method on this story? No, where? I'll just see it through. No, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was like, something on my desk. It's so free.

That exciting. I made him run a little first day of the year. He's like, yeah, that's great, Ben. Tell us more about what you learned from reading an article two years ago. Anyway, the point is, Ashes now crying in the closet. Well, she's like, keep it together. Come on, keep it together. And then she comes out and Michael's like cutting with like one of those big paper cutter

things. He's cutting many things. And then she's she goes over to be like, Oh, well, thank you for helping out with that. And he's like, well, I want an apology. So then they start fighting again. Yeah. She's like, I will cut your dick off with this gigantic paper cutter that you only see in schools. It's like, what are they been doing with that thing? It's like this huge armed thing on the bar. Like, please clear the paper cutter, okay? So people start showing up and Chris is like, hello, wonderful time to eat. Yum. So Ravon, Jizelle and Sherees are coming up. And Monique is like, oh, oh no, this was, I'm sorry, I skipped ahead. So Jizelle is walking in with Sherees.

And she's like, well, here we are back this disgusting place. They better have some wings. And then that's when Sherees is like, what are they going to add to the menu of all racist? So that being, but now I have to do another monologue. Now, even though we just said, like the ridiculous part about this restaurant that they're serving koala and imu and all that stuff, that being said, Sherees, what, I mean,

what a jackass because it's, I mean, what a jackass, because it's, I mean, even if most Australians are not saying that you can't agree every single night, I mean, it is Eden and like, that she's acting like this restaurant is so bonkers, just really makes her look like an idiot, not a person. They both look so fucking ignorant. That's my thing about, that's always been my thing

with this show, like, Jacelle says things that are so ignorant and then she's like, brags about it. It's like, you better have some wings. Like, really, Jacelle, you can't just go to a restaurant. I don't know. I felt like hers was funnier. So like, for me, I felt like it was more of a tongue and cheek moment, you know?

Like, to me, that was, it didn't bother me. That didn't read as ignorant to me. It was just like, she was making a funny joke about how she likes chicken, you know? But whereas Cherice, she thought she was being really funny, but she just looked like a jackass. So for me, I give Jizelle, I'm a little bit more lenient with my Jizelle than you are. My Jizelle observations. But I, I felt like Jizerees look, like the jackass. It's like a race to the bottom at this point, really. Yes. So Robin is, Robin's like, well, I was right to confront Ashley, but things got ugly, and I'm here to own up. I was like, okay, let's sit here and wait for an apology from Robin.

I'm sure it's, I'm sure it's fourth. It's going to be coming any second. So Ashley comes out to the table where it's, you know, Karen and those two. And she said, but we, and before Ashley gets there, I just want to say that Monique is there. And when Giselle and Karen show up, Giselle is like, hi Monique. And that's it. And she's like, well, I am going to say hi to Monique because I'm classy. But that's all she's getting. I don't think that, I don't think saying hi to someone makes you classy. It means that you have the most basic level of matters Yeah, saying being class would be talking with her and maybe acting like a human being Can you believe the woman has a fish tank? So it's an act yes Ashley comes out to the table. She's like, thanks for coming ladies

Can I get an embrace and something so they're like, okay, like light hugs. Um, and just like, uh, wait, oh no. Who does she tell? Oh, she's like, Sherry's high, Sherry's, Sherry's. Sherry's, so you okay? Cause you're literally giving me the cold shoulder. And like you're standing behind her chair. Yeah.

Why would you come to the front of the table? Yes, he actually was a bit aggressive with her making amends, you know. She was, she definitely had some attitude. I mean, to be fair, she wasn't an agitated state because right before this, you know, she and Michael made a presentation to all the food bloggers and Michael totally hijacked it. You know, this was her idea. And then he takes over and he makes a presentation and there's like a total mansplaining moment. So she was already like fuming on the inside.

And by the way, it was also funny because earlier Monique asked Michael how the baby making is happening and he's like, no, no, baby, he's coming on the horizon. I'm like, yeah, I think we know why. But either way, so now Ashley is like all of it is he and she's being very agro with her version of apologizing and She's trying to apologize, but they're not into it. And then finally essentially Karen I think it was Karen or maybe it was Robin, but one of them's like Ashley You see him out of sorts. We feel like something else is going on with you. What's going on?

And she's like well having a lot of problems with the marriage and the restaurant. And they're like, Oh, so you're dealing with shit in your life. Okay, we have to forgive you. Now, I don't know that you're miserable. And she when she said she's already sherry, sherry says like, the thing he said, what a grat. Top of the moment. She gets to her like British fancy accent. And she goes, I never attacked you personally. And she goes, I never attacked you personally. I'm like, really? Because you said, how is it being married to that old son of a bitch who probably got his tubes tied on purpose? So we didn't have

to get you pregnant. I mean, you're such a liar. You're such a liar, Sharice. And I'll also have to mention that during that speech where Michael takes over and then Ashley comes in and they're both like It's so awkward because he's like well working with your wife. She's like it's not fine Just kidding, but I'm not kidding because it's terrible And I'm probably gonna leave him in a second and then she sells She goes while there might be hesitation about eating kangaroo and e-mew and then it just out during the speech It's like I don't even know what an he knew is I don't even know what he knew is and then Robin goes it's like a big ostrich and just I mean she overdone a crossword and

Ashley's still talking and then just else doing that thing where she's like dissing everybody but with non-diss' she like, I don't even know what an EMU is. You got desserts. Like, okay. That's not a diss and you're just fucking rude. Just be quiet. Literally skitter speech, you know. I have to say, there's been so much discussion about eating EMU in the season of Potomac that I actually would like to try EMU now. I just looked it up because I was like, is it an ostrich? So I looked it up and it is like a big fat ostrich with devil eyes like a cassowary, you know It's sort of it sort of a cassowary. I don't know what that is. You're you just totally made me feel like yourself. You got dessert A cassowary you don't want to ever meet a cassowary. It's this it's this big crazy bird and

It's this big crazy bird and it's a cast story is sort of between an ostrich and an e-moo and it has this like crazy talent and if it attacks you, it's going to like, it's like a running bird and if it attacks you, it's going to like, it goes like foot first and basically it's claw, we'll disembowel you and kill you. Oh my gosh. It's like, they kill humans and apparently it happens a lot. Well, God, I'm glad you told me that I'm angry. They get angry. Just in case I run up against one one day,

just come here, he win. Please, he wants to make a loan. Hey, I don't think it's going to even, I don't think you, there's any reasoning with it. I think I can't, once you get a casserole in Mad, it's like, uh, it's like many of the real housewives. It's just going to come and, it's going to come out you until this and Bowser, no matter how many times you say I'm sorry. It's like many of the real housewives. It's just going to come out you until it disembowels you.

No matter how many times you say I'm sorry. Well, in this fight, I liked it. She, I liked it. As she's like, my marriage is terrible and everything sucks. And they're like, oh, okay, because it's so hard for anybody to just admit that. You know, I guess in life, but on this show too. But I also like that Jizzell, I'm not Jizzell. I was going to say that doesn't sound right when I say, also like that Jacelle. I'm not Jacelle. I was going to say that doesn't sound right when I say I like that Jacelle.

I've never said that. I meant Robin. I like that Robin can just say what she's saying. You know, she's like, if you had a concern, you could have just called me and out wait for some party to make me look stupid. You know, it says you have to stir up drama. And she's like, but everybody else gets to talk about each other. And she and just like, that is not true. Now I've had moments with Cherice, but we got we got

over it. She's like, you did it on national television. At least I did it to our face. And then she goes, you know, you get stuck in the mud and she goes, oh, no, you didn't say we're stuck in the mud. We are not stuck in the mud. Does a picture frame say in the mud? I don't think so. Like that's the most offensive thing she's. I know. But I think Robin, you know, Robin coming in and doing all that, sickening her finger in the face was just gross. And it's like typical when she gets that mad. But she's right. Because it's so rude. You go into someone's face. It is rude. But it's not starting yelling in front of all the customers and trying to like jolafite. It's fucked up. It's rude. But you know what though? It's like it's not crazy than anything we've seen in other shows. And on top of that, it's well, we've been waiting

for some sort of exciting moment on this show. So I'm just like happy to get into a car and drive all the way to somebody's restaurant just to go in there and do that. It's already a failing restaurant. It bugs me, I think mostly because it's Jizel, you know, it doesn't even bug me as much because I know that Robins just like,. Well, bug me is that the restaurant already is not doing well and to do that is just like, really nasty. Yeah. Well, all that said, I mean, Robin was right.

You know, Ashley did go to everybody and was like, I hear their mom's cheating. And then they showed the clip of last year when Ashley's like, oh, lovely swing set. By the way, I looked up Robin, she's going through bankruptcy. Like, she is really bad with that stuff. She's bad with, I actually do believe,

well, I mean, in that case, she was just being gossipy. I think that she doesn't know when to be a reality star and when to be a friend. And she, I think probably the producers say to her, like, hey, you should say this, because it's gonna be really good for the show. So she does it and then she gets stuck in a jam. And but I do actually think in this case, I think she was just appealing to the woman

to be like, this is what I've heard. Like, you know, like what, like what should we do? What should we say? Should I say something or whatever? I mean, she did sort of say in a gossipy way, but at the same time, like she said, they all gossip. Yeah. Well, after they have a talk with Ashley,

Syriska's, well, I think everyone is fab a big. Van Miffa would be, I'm like, congratulations on having two internet sessions with your free doctor, Dr. Jeff, but yeah, please stop profilitizing. Please, please. And so that was the end of that show. But before we go, we want to talk about a little invite on the Cabo because we're still really enjoying it.

So we're keeping tabs on it on the side here. So this week's episode was full of pretty much the same shit. And as it happens, I actually really enjoy the same shit on this show because it's all so petty and so ridiculous. I'm still so massively confused about this Bianca Larry relationship. I don't understand why. So here's the thing. I feel like the producers are really trying to con us. And I feel like everything has been taken out of context to make us feel like there's a romantic situation that is going on and off. Whereas I feel like in real life, they are not talking about romantic things. And the producers are trying

to make us think of that, right? And I always like, no, that's what they say. Like they, they always, they're friends, but they aren't romantic, but then on this show suddenly, like they're dancing. And then he kissed her when and showed her spanks to everybody. And then she got her butt touched her butt crack or her butt, but her butt touched. And it doesn't make any sense. But Bianca is doing that thing where she's like, I'm just mad like she'll be mad about every little thing to try and get a reaction. So she feels like validated emotionally and he's like, what are you doing? She's like, what are you doing? And she does that thing where she fights with him like that. She just repeats what he's saying. He's like, well, I don't do drama and she, well, I don't do drama. And she's like, I don't do drama.

He's like, but I'm talking about you about because you like to do drama. I don't do drama. She's like, well, drama is what you do. Like, okay. Okay. Yeah. And so he's just exasperated with her.

He's like, he's like, honestly, I'm just gonna shut this all down. I'm like, no, you're not, because it's your own reality show. What are you not gonna board it after like three episodes? Okay, so don't do that. And then you basically, I like when Larry says things like everybody should know, but we don't yet, like he says,

there's tension in here. And that's not what vacation is about. We need to coexist in the house or not. I'm like, that's what vacation is about. It's tension, that's not what vacation is about. You know what vacation is usually about taking a bunch of people who know each other and get along. That's what vacation is usually about. Vacation is usually not about taking a bunch of people who don't know each other and having a camera crew from Bravo tag along. Kamala is the most guilty of this, but I like when everybody, what is it?

What is Kamala? Kamala, like Kamala Harris. What does Kamala with me? Kamani. Kamani is the worst with this, but they all do that. This reality show thing, like I'm not here to make friends. And Bianca keeps doing it. She's like, I'm a grown ass woman.

Stay in your lane. Like, oh, she's good one, Bianca. So basically, Larry and Bianca have tension throughout the episode because of this whole situation, you know, wherein someone touched her butt and then he called her out about it. When he was on the elliptical, which automatically makes it very latehearted

as everyone knows ellipticals do. And then she was like, I was on the elliptical. What part of elliptical do you not understand? It is automatically late-hearted. Like I don't get this. I'm not here for the drama. That's why I'm that's why I was on elliptical because there's no drama. And then germane and what's the boy band hat guys? What is that? Malaku Malaku Malaku. So germane and Malaku the whole episode. This is all they did. They're like Larry doesn't like drama and this is drama Larry doesn't do drama. It's like five minutes later And it's the other one. This is drama and Larry does not do drama. You can't get up to the velvet rope

I'm like what? You can't you go to the velvet rope. I'm like, what? You can't. You go to Larry's house and he has blocked TNT. He does not do drama. And then Bianca's like, well, I don't need friends. I'm golden. I don't play like that. But the best part is that Larry is, you know,

he's been going around, he also's going around and like, I don't do the drama. Agu, I don't do the drama. Like if is going around, and like, I don't do the drama, Agu. I don't do the drama. Like, if she has to get over that, because I don't do the drama, and then she walks in while he's saying that, she like slams down her, her tropical abondle,

or whatever it is. She's like, okay. And then she walks out, to a dramatic, he's like, see, it's drama. I only need one mask, I need the comedy mask, I don't need the drama. Kid, you believe he said he doesn't like drama? I am not here for friends. I'm vulnerable walls down. So my favorite

thing in this is, and they just keep inserting all these shots like it's morning, and you just see Emily sucking her thumb while she's sleeping. It's afternoon and Emily just wakes up from an app and she's stumbling around in her glasses. And it's like these little tiny shots of Emily just being like, oh no. And then in the middle of it, Emily gets like totally glammed up for no reason. And she's like, today I put on purple dress and then she goes downstairs. And then she's advising Larry about like, well, maybe you have to see the other side. I don't know. maybe you have to see the other side.

I don't know. Maybe you have to see like drama. And he's like, you see, sometimes she makes sense. And she did. It was weird. I was like, who are you? She's like, yeah, you know, there's times when you have to look at both sides and say, don't do that. It's like, okay, deep back. So Bianca has decided, she's like, today I wanna go to me, and that stands for ME or whatever. And so later, they're doing shots, and Emily's like, where's the lines?

I found it, okay, he'll stop freaking on me, and then how good goes to me, and Emily goes, oh, to us, fuck that. And he's he's like no I meant the name of the restaurant to the whole okay chance. So as I've mentioned before I've went I went to Becabo only once on this bachelor trip last year but we did go to me it's ME by Amelia whatever it's called oh my goodness We were there for like six or seven hours and the entire time this is what the music was, it's like never changed. Never changed. Never played a discernible song. It was just there's this DJ booth that's like up above the pool. It was

too much. At first it was cool. It was like, oh wow, cool pool. I mean, you saw what it looked like. It looks cool. You're like, wow, it's like something on TV. But after a while, it's just like, oh my God, getting me out of here. It got so douchey. I mean, listen, they want to take a watch, that they want to host us there and have like, watch our crap and live from Cabo more than happy to go to me again. People with BOS, they'd be like, where's answer. We came up on top. So then while they're there, so Larry and Bianca get into the pool because they're going to like maybe resolve. They're going to have some.

They're going to be friends. Yeah. Now they're friends. They need some us time. So they're there and everything is happy. And then there's there's something around and she's busy like. So just so you know, this is a non-drama moment, but I would marry you.

And you know, I'm serious. And maybe we should get married. And he's like, marriage. Last time I saw a marriage was in a drama. And I don't do drama, drama. Mayer was just dramatic and I don't do drama drama So yeah, so he gets all offended. He's like wait a minute That's drama That's drama

And then she's mad again. She's like your drama like now. It's like another stupid fight No, because they made the classic like like gay guy and has like lady best friend Which is like oath, which is if we're both single by this age, we're going to get married, right? And she's actually holding him to it. But the producers are trying to make it seem like that she actually wants to get married to him, like and have a romantic relationship. So then he goes off with that goo and they go down to the beach.

And which by the way, a very flattering thing for both of them, the sounds like listening off their body is very well done. Pretty sure. Yeah, they're so shot beautifully, especially the B-rolls. Yeah. So then he's like, so I was just swimming with Bianca in the Mee pool. It's like, oh, there's a pool just for you. No, it's the pool for me.

So you do have a pool. No, no, anyway. Cheers to your pool! like wants to get married. And I was like, really? And he goes, Mowage Larry. And he's like, yeah, you said marriage, right? Yeah. And I was like, marriage. I love how he says marriage. And he says it like 20 times. They just keep cutting back to Larry and he's like marriage elliptical machine Marriage elliptical yes, he has a little draw. He likes and every sense with a Sound like I mean that's crazy

Lane Larry does not like drama He doesn't like drama drama at me. That's for sure. So basically that's one of the big dramas. Then the other one is with Agu and. Come on. Come on. And he's like, I was thinking we could go to lunch or something because I have some things to talk about. She's like, uh, is this going to be like serious? And he said, well, you know, just some things to talk about at lunch, because we'll talk. And she's like, well, he better, okay, I have to look for this because Kamani was cracking me up with all the things she's saying. She's like, well, he'd better get ready for this jelly because like, she just keeps saying the like these lines from show. She's like, I'm interested, but he knows he needs

to bring it. I'm a Bentley and Emily's a beat up Pinto and they don't make Pintos anymore. You feel me? Neither of which are cars I will ever have. No kidding. I'm like Larry just needs a nice Kia. I mean, I mean, he doesn't need either one of you for I go. I go, just he's just going to take whatever car Alamo has available for him.

Yeah, so they got a lunch and I'll just like, I just wanted you to know this Emily thing. That was I was drunk and she was the aggressor. Yeah, and meanwhile, by the way, Kamani is like, okay, well, if we're going to lunch, I am going to wear no sides on my shirt. I'm gonna have my boobs stick out and he's gonna see everything that he lost.

And I was like, I don't know if this is like a great moment of impairment or a terrible moment for feminism. I just don't know right now, I can't tell. Yeah, I can't tell. She's like mad that he was overly sexual with the other girls, so she's gonna show up naked. Yeah.

She's like, I will show my daughter that a woman doesn't take this. I'm like, I will show my daughter that a woman doesn't take this. I'm like, you're showing your daughter that you're trying to go for the hottest guy who's way younger than you in a house so you can get airtime and fucking be naked doing it. Like, yeah, I don't think your daughter needs those lessons from you.

And she's like, and she was like, you know, most women, like I just, she does the classic. I just don't give a long role with most women. Most women just hate me immediately. That's how I must my friends are guys. Like, maybe it's because you will likely let your kids go flying out, you know, to make a guy jealous. But then I, when I say that, then I feel like, well, isn't that her right as a woman? I mean, why not? Why can't, why doesn't she do that? Why not? Like, just make him feel bad for his mistakes. I just don't know. I am caught in my own

vortex. It's like I'm swirling down the drain at the me pool. Yeah, feminism is at a confusing time in our history Drama, by the way, I want everyone to know I was saying all that from the political machine. So it was lighthearted Yeah, it's totally like hard it. Okay, and if you have a comment about it do it from the elliptical So we don't have to be electrical. Yeah, but keep it light also saying things like she's just I like this show And we talked about this the first episode how it's like the real world where they're just all a bunch of dumb horrors I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding.

I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding.

I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding.

I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. I'm not even kidding. out to be a saggy wall. But she's like struggling to hold on to this last block block of youth, you know, and she's saying things like, well, I hope he realizes that Kamani is the bomb.com. I was like, okay, mom. Geez. So they go eat at a place called chins, which, you know, as people who really struggle to keep their weight down or who work hard to keep their weight down, why would they eat it a place called chins? Maybe, maybe he's dyslexic, maybe he would thought it was called niche. Moves me out. Hey, would you like to go to snich?

A good, a good artist from the menu and he's uh, we'll start with the egg roll four pieces. Okay. I don't know why I felt that so funny, but I left it. I left it like five times. How he said. So basically, he's saying he's not attracted to Emily. He goes, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, not, not. No, I'm not, no, I'm not, come on. He's basically just grilling him. And it's, I mean, to be fair, he is a bullshit artist when he's like, yeah, she was the aggressor. And she's like, so you were just like defenseless and helpless once you got into your bed. You couldn't do anything about it.

Like, there was nothing you could do. Like, you, you couldn't like just avoid her. He's like, no, not really. Yeah. I was very drunk and I have a huge bit baby penis. So it has to go somewhere. She's like, well, if you knocked on my door, that's my choice to say, do I wear a dress that shows my entire breast rack? Or do I get on the internet to show him that I own a bomb.com. You are on host, monster. Thank you. Yeah. So she is basically making

him sweat, which is basically, which is also essentially her subtle way of saying, okay, I don't worry, we will sleep together, but first you have to go through this. So, yeah, you'll get it. Yeah. So what else happened in this? then they have so then they have dinner and Agu by the way makes some barbecue chicken that looks absolutely amazing I don't they make some good food on this show they casually just whip up these meals and every single time It's like they can they know how to cook these people so They're at dinner and I'm like so how is your date and they're like what do you want to know about it? She's like, no, I your date? And they're like, what do you want to know about it? She's like, no, I just want to know anything you want to share. And then this turns into a fight between almost everyone because Emily and C'monnie start to fight because

obviously they're in like a lot of. They just hate her. She's just sitting there giving her these squinty dirty eyes the whole time. And Emily's trying to be nice. And And she starts off the small talk and she goes oh This is the first meal I actually eat and they're like we've seen you eating and she goes yeah But this is the first time I actually swallow Yeah, then I got to argue She's like you know the nails don't cut this meal He's like Larry does not like drama.

So then yeah, she's like, oh, so you had date or, and uh, I was like, well, I guess you came up and drums like, did she come up? She did come up and she's like, oh, so I guess I involved. So I want to know. And she goes, so now what do you want to know she goes? I truly apologize because I did something I don't remember Yeah, she's holding on to that lie. Yeah, which to be fair was only 12 hours ago We forget with this show. It's it's only been like a day since since they slept together Yeah, and I think come on. He's like well, maybe that's what we have to work on.

You're not remembering things. And she's like, yeah, but when you start to scream, he got me for something, I don't really understand that was the one person who confront me, comfort me. And that was a roof, like, and then she somehow starts referencing Larry and come on, he's like, this is what you always do. You always try to bring everyone else into your issues. I'm talking to you right now. And she's like, wow. So, and then somehow I forget exactly how it happens, but, oh, because, because what's your face?

Emily is saying, like, people have issues with you. And she's come on, I was like, who has an issue with me? She's like, she goes, does Larry have an issue? No, does Malakuk, no, does Dramane, no, does the flower vase, no, does Bianca wear, well, there we found it. And she could come to me when she wants to. Bianca just sitting there like, all angry. Oh, yeah, that's right. I'm mad at you. She called me a little girl. She called me, she'll me a cute, cute girl. I love that Emily's reflex when she sadistic of somebody hand job. Yeah.

And then come on. He's like, well, uh, how is a ho is a host, corpio. Like, uh, Monoc is like, who wants dessert? So they go in the other room. They like get ice cream and stuff and that they leave come on in Emily behind. And I'm just like, don't you think I feel so bad about what happened? Don't you remember I have boyfriend and they cut to this like really

Smirmy guy on a bed being like hey, I'm like I'm out of the case please And so he's like oh look at my goal just good and Emily hey baby Why don't you give me kiss or Emily yeah baby This blazer from Donald Trump collection So then he's really out his hair is like back like Donald Trump Jr. So then So then Emily's like now crying. She's like, you know, I think how I feel about you. So not whatever And then they sort of make up. It's like drunken, you know, well, this is where come on. He's like Stop yelling. She's like don't think I don't feel bad. Like she's trying to talk quiet

And come on. He's just giving her this dirty look and Emily starts crying because she's basically being Sletch aimed by the woman who just walked around topless all day It's so it's so weird. So Emily's crying now and come on he goes You don't have to be happy for everybody, but I'm like a mean bitchy way So then everybody comes in and Bianca's like, let's have cake. It's marshmallow. Chocolate marshmallow. Eat this now. Get in. Oh, so anyway, this should be therapy Sims. You can't open a clinic. Boo. Think how's this therapy? You just got slutshamed then shut down. It's like, and then fed chocolate marshmallow cake. Yeah,

she's fine now. It's like, I cried marshmallow. the marshmallow cake. And she's fine, that's like, I cried marshmallow. Oh, I'll bet. So she everybody's getting ready for bed later. And she has this little smiley face pillow. And she goes, do you know, my man had this emoji pillow made for me? At this point, I feel so guilty to sleep with her. I'm like, he didn't make it. He just got it from the emergency movie, like promotional department. It's like from the gas station. It made it for me. Oh, and so then, um, but I feel like by the way, there was some moment between Larry and Bianca where he kept on saying the same thing over again get over and over again, like we good, we good, we good.

I don't remember, did that happen? It's in my head. You're way. It doesn't like drama, man, okay? I forgot. So either way, the next day they decide they're going to make everyone feel better by going riding on ATVs.

Now, I personally have this theory about ATVs, which is that whoever drives them gets severely injured. That's just my general theory. So when I was in Palm Springs two years ago, my friends were like, let's go on ATVs, I was like, I'm gonna stay back because I don't want to break my neck. So sure enough, they all get on to their ATVs and they start driving around. And it's like fun times, fun times, fun times, and some of them are like standing up. They're like, we're racing. This is good. This is anti-drama. And then, sure enough, Kamani bumps into someone else and goes flying over the handlebars, which is very scary. And then she's just like lying there, like ragdoll and heap.

And it's like paramedics, paramedics, and they come over. Everyone's crying. They put her in like one of those brace things. I actually almost felt bad for this company because they brought her into the lobby. Everyone was like waiting to sign up to go on the ATVs. And they like bring this woman like essentially in pre-traction and like lay her down on the chairs. I was like, that's not good advertising. This, you know, bravo, this is the second season, because we had Orange County where Tamra and Vicki were hurt on an ATV. Well, they were in a June buggy. I mean, how about you guys try and do this with someone that I would actually care, just

got hurt on a TV because so far, you have the red next sports. How about that? Your Bravo, it's just not like, like leave it for like A&E or like TLC, but your Bravo just stick with, you know, yawning, sailing. Yeah. Don't get in the dune bug in the ATVs. It's just, this is not your people. I love that everybody makes it kind of about them too.

And that's like real life too, you know, whenever something bad happens, they're like, but she is a baby. And the baby. Oh, my gosh. It's not about you. Larry is like, you know, if only we had taken a

elliptical out on the ATV, then we would have been enjoying this so much more. It would have been so light harder when she broke her neck. But now we have to face the full drama. Oh my God, you guys. Well, until next week, that will get us done for the Potomac and the Info Online. If you guys want more of us, go over to patreon.com. Slash watch what crap ends and find some bony below nays. Thanks for waking an extra day for us

so that we can enjoy our Memorial Day. We will be back later this afternoon with Southern Charm. You just keep an eye out on your little podcast feed. You should subscribe, by the way, because if you subscribe, the episodes just roll right into whatever you subscribe onto iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher, any of those things. They'll just appear, so subscribe.

We will have Southern term up later today. And then tomorrow is below deck. Better to end. And that'll be us. We'll see you in a little while, everybody. Buh-wee. Hi. Hey, prime members.

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