Watch What Crappens - #467 SouthernCharm: No Man's Landon

Episode Date: May 31, 2017

Landon goes on a maybe date with Thomas and then breaks up with Drew. Will she ever find love? Probably not. Also, Kathryn has lunch with the group and lands an exclusive invite to her own... son's birthday. Contouring really does work! Come listen to our recap of "Southern Charm!" See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode of Watcher Crap is brought to you by our Patreon super premium sponsors
Starting point is 00:00:26 Christy D'Aurite, Mia Hansen-Aloha, Madonna Heinz, Cindy Gerstin, Kelly Barlow, and just say in Thank you What happens when there's so much that crappens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?
Starting point is 00:00:52 What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens?
Starting point is 00:01:00 What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens? What happens with this so much that happens? To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to watch here on bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bcyblog.com and the banter blender podcast
Starting point is 00:01:40 and joining me as usual is the hilarious wonderful man who has a secret girlfriend on the side and is trying to woo Rachel but has failed miserably. It is Ronnie Caram from TreshockTV.com and the Rose Prick's Bachelor at Podcast or Bachelor podcast I should say hey Ronnie what's up? Ben you watched Bachelor last night? I didn't but I heard what happened and oh and then I was like trying to find video of it I couldn't find video anywhere. I was really annoying. Oh I was like wow that's two weeks in a row for Ben. No last night. I I spent my evening getting sick and
Starting point is 00:02:21 watching Watching TV and playing video games and watching TV and playing video games. That's fun. Yes. I mean watching other Bravo TV for the podcast have to watch Southern Charm, which we're here to talk about today. Southern Charm. What did you think?
Starting point is 00:02:35 I didn't feel. What do I think? I mean, fun, as always. I enjoyed it. I do want to say one thing though. So we had said we did a preview of Southern Charm like several weeks ago when we analyzed the entire trailer. And then someone, like Mess and Justin said,
Starting point is 00:02:55 the woman in that restaurant is Georgia Mossbacher. And then so then last week I said, oh yeah, we didn't mention the fact the woman in the restaurant is Georgia Mossbacher. And now I'm here to say, no, that woman is not Georgia Mossbacher at all I'm here to say no that woman's not originate Mossbacher at all so I just want everyone to know we we are aware yeah that was just some random drunk lady in an olive garden yeah we are aware happened here
Starting point is 00:03:14 today like that is but it is possible that I misread the original person's message to me so the point is this don't listen to anything I ever say. She's like, y'all, I have been watching you guys are so mates! Home mates and so mates. Have I tried my best? Getting a hole. Where are you sale from the hole? Then we'll know. Sorry, I have to adjust my laughter to land and laughter.
Starting point is 00:03:45 Fucking land and fucking land and fucking land and for also making me like feel for land and for one second, but we'll get to that later. It's not feels so gross. I feel for you because I love you. I feel for you Duh Alright get her started being well Southern charm It starts off with the usual like Fun things happening around the world of Charleston and we see Catherine doing some yoga in the park She's like I'm Um, um, um, um, um, namaste. Um, namaste.
Starting point is 00:04:27 Um, namaste. That's why she likes yoga so much, because it sounds like she's saying, Thomas stay. Namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste.
Starting point is 00:04:41 Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. Um, namaste. So that's happened. The land in calls up Thomas and asked him to dinner. She's like, I can't dinner. Exciting. He's like, well, sir. Thomas is a gross person. He was grossing me out a lot in this episode, but it's like, I feel like everything's happening at once. So then Austin calls his beer company. He's like, well, I think I want to come in there and talk about some beer while he's like
Starting point is 00:05:16 squirting a squirt gun because, you know, he's like a Peter Pan because guys who just can't grow up are so attractive on this show. Yeah. Yeah. And then Craig gets an email. He's like, Oh, I got an email gizmo. Come over here and read this. You have now satisfied your upper reading or requirement. How did you get a fucking law degree? I know. Yeah. So Craig, this is where the show starts in earnest, which is that Craig has now fulfilled a requirement and now he has officially graduated from his law school. And no, the entire time while he's reading this,
Starting point is 00:05:54 I'm only thinking about one thing, which is, why have we not talked about the fact that he's moved to desk right into the middle of the living room? Why is that there? No one knows me so much. Nobody has stopped. Nobody has, on this show show has congratulated Craig yet
Starting point is 00:06:08 for learning how to use the Wi-Fi printer. I mean, this is the second thing he's printed. He's like, I'm gonna print it because it's fridge worthy. Wow, wow, Craig, you're really flexing those skills. Yeah, it's also, it's like goes up there right next with learning annex, certificate of completion of embroidery class. So, first cam, wait, I don't know Cameron's driving her hands, she's driving around and she's talking to her husband who will only come on the phone. Yes, and his, his name on her phone is Jason Ice Wimberly, which is kind
Starting point is 00:06:45 of funny. That's her ice number. Jason Ice Ice baby Wimberly. So she, uh, she's like, well, hi, I'm after you, you should have seen that dinner party last night. La, blah, blah. I want to try to tell you, did you know that you put the rise down first and then you had the curry? Wow, crazy, not other cultures. Did she only get to talk to her husband on the phone? Because she probably saw him last night when she got home. He's like, do not speak to me woman unless it's on the phone. All right, I'll go downstairs and call you then.
Starting point is 00:07:20 I'm trying to sleep coming tomorrow. I'll put it in my eye. Okay. Do not bring a camera in here. She's like, the producers had to save the good stuff for on camera, so tomorrow I'm going to call you, but let me give you a spoiler. It has to do with R.E.K. if you know what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:07:34 Kara? So she's like, well, you know, career side. What you don't do, you don't do, you put it on the rice. It's not on the side, but anyway, cover your side You have a man cave downstairs Otherwise known as the panic room you lock yourself in too, so I can never see your face And I've decided I want a room of my own and he's like well have had a nursery bay Miss Virginia was about a panic room and my rock guys I
Starting point is 00:08:01 Don't like I could not find anything more insulting than suggesting that a Zen room share duties with a nursery. I don't think baby nurseries and Zen go together well. He's not sure and she's like I need a room of my own. He's like how about a nursery? That is not a room of her own. That's a room where she's raising the child that you forced her to make. Yeah. Listen, I read that book and we moved one zone and it was not a fun experience. So I don't think Cameron's gonna have a fun experience with her Zen Room. That's what I say.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Yeah. And also, I'm already getting rid of my shep in personations. I already got, I already referenced Virginia Woolf already. I'm in the zone. I think Virginia Woolf is probably like that couple when they're not on the phone. Like that's why they can't tape together
Starting point is 00:08:45 Because it's probably like you You'll hussey it's like this like drunken fighting nobody can ever see Cameron and their husband together They'll just fucking lose their minds So then over at at Craig's place. He's face timing his parents Gizmo is there on his lap. He's like, guess what? I actually graduated. And like, that's so great, Craig. Now, have you learned how to hit a T-ball yet? No. Why don't you remind me that we're a sports family? That's okay, Craig. We're just happy to do something. There's my handsome boy. Okay, great talking to you, bye.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Like this parents did not. You're more athletically inclined, brothers are doing something more fascinating. Bye. You're so funny that you wrote that we think to say my wrote tells about letter. Please say this isn't about T ball again, Craig. So he's like, hey, Gizmo, you want to celebrate with treats? That's his version of poppin' bottles. That's Craig's treat. Are those those little bottles that you chew off the top?
Starting point is 00:09:52 And there's like a little soda in there, those little candies? It was. So much to tell TI. So, and now we go to Home Goods, which I'm really happy for Home Goods because they probably paid a lot to be showcased on real houses in New York City last year and instead what they got was Bethany going in there and hemorrhaging on the floor. So now they're like, we would like a make-good problem. Okay, we'll send we'll send Chelsea and Cameron in there instead on Southern charm.
Starting point is 00:10:19 I know especially when their logo is red, they're like, thanks, we paid for that and now all anybody thinks of when they see our logos like Bethany just opening a damn on the floor. Thanks guys. Skinny go red, huh? You think that one's red? Okay, I'll show you some skinny go red. Huh?
Starting point is 00:10:34 So then, um, so Cameron and Chelsea show up. They're dressed like two 45 year old women from the 90s. I don't know what was going on with two of them right there, but it was also is did Cameron like, I mean, not Cameron, did Chelsea learn to talk from Forest Gump? Like, why does she talk like that? Is the weirdest? She has the weirdest way of talking.
Starting point is 00:10:54 She's like, you look Kiyuta. She is getting more and more for our scumpies. She just goes wrong. She's like, laugh is like a box of chocolates that you find at the checkout aisle at home goods as an impulse and you buy it along with a cookbook on how to cook Irish things and you think to yourself, why did I buy this? And you remember it cost you three dollars and you chuck it all out. Am I right?
Starting point is 00:11:18 Life is like a box of chocolate that may have teed in your car. Cameron's like, I love where friends. So she's like, I'm glad you came with me because you're my decorating guru. Really? So they remember that this is for like a baby's end room. She's like, these are moon rocks. You put them by the moon.
Starting point is 00:11:36 And she's gathering like, plethora silver pillows. Yes. And like a fur blanket. It's like, what kind of baby do you think you're gonna have? It's like her little disco baby in there. I just love the sunbursts. Let's get these sunbursts going here.
Starting point is 00:11:50 You know, Patricia was mad when she watched this because camera's like, this is Voxen, the Patricia would have, because it's a chase lounge. But it's like that $5 potato sack material. It's always at home good snow fence, because I totally buy that shit. But, no. Patricious, I wouldn't buy that. The last time I saw something like that when I was walking through the slums of India
Starting point is 00:12:15 and the search of a caftain, the only thing I wanted to take back from them was instructions on how to serve cura properly. You know, you put it on the rest. Did I tell you that? On the bus. The best cab I ever sat on was when I brought children home from India and they helped me up. Unfortunately, they expired. I'm stuck with his home goods couch.
Starting point is 00:12:36 Did you see the picture that Patricia put up on Instagram of her table setting for that night? She had all those little elephants out and there was something on there that oh no, she said hashtag elephant lives matter. Yes, I saw it. And I really loved reading all the comments, being like, you racist, white, stuck up bitch. Because, you know, we always knew that Patricia had some good old racism in her as I can.
Starting point is 00:13:02 Laman, laman, laman. So it's like my to see her ignorance come out on the Twitter. I enjoy it. Oh my goodness. You know what? She needs to get more educated. And the way, the best way you can get educated in life, Ronnie, is to read and to read things from lots of different sources.
Starting point is 00:13:20 As many different sources possible, read all the magazines in the world. That's how you get educated. But you know what though, education comes to the price because all those magazines cost a lot of money. A lot of money, unless you have texture. Texture. You know what I'm saying. You guys, texture is so amaz.
Starting point is 00:13:42 Yeah. Texture is like a Netflix for magazines. You just put it on your mobile device if any kind. Works on everything. Mm-hmm. And you just open it up. You pay one low price. And you get every magazine on there.
Starting point is 00:13:54 You will see Jennifer Aniston covers for the rest of your life. And you won't be spending a zillion dollars to do it. Yeah. So, you can read things like Time Magazine, or Esquire, or Vanity Fair or Entertainment Weekly or Conten-S Traveler which is what Patricia should have been reading when she learned about Curry, etc.
Starting point is 00:14:16 She would have realized she didn't have to go all the way to India to learn how to serve Curry. But either way, it's actually a really awesome app and and you can read all these things like wherever you want, when you're waiting around, when you're on the toilet, when you're just enjoying life and need to read some stuff. It has gone, the texture app has gone beyond delivering just the magazine itself. It made it easy to find and enjoy the articles you want to read with daily recommendations, exclusive interactive features, videos, and more. Yeah, you can mark what you like, check out back issues, view bonus video content, recommendations, exclusive interactive features, videos and more. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:45 You can mark what you like. Check out back issues, view bonus video content. They even curate articles and magazines just for you. Texture is normally 90. No, it's not. Not. Texture is normally nine, nine, nine. Like texture is normally 13 trillion dollars a month.
Starting point is 00:15:02 But it's, it's normally 999 and left. And you get over 200 magazines. But if you sign up right now at Texture.com slash Crappens, you get a 14-day free trial. So do it. Texture.com slash corrupt. Why is it described to just a couple of magazines when you can have all of your favorites on your smartphone or tablet all the time for way less. Plus, also, Texture was selected as one of Apple's
Starting point is 00:15:25 top 2016 iPad apps. So, so, so boom. So boom. Get woke, don't write something like hashtag, up in Lives Matters, go read some shit, and then you're gonna learn and be smarter when you post your Instagram stuff. Texture.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Go get your 14 day free trial. Go to texture.com slash crappings. That is to texture.com slash crap ins that is texture.com slash crabbins love you texture we do we really do so anyway speaking of textures there's so many different textures in the late in the relationship between Naomi and Craig are they're not so she comes in and he's like to a restaurant they're at They're at a restaurant. Oh, yeah. So they're going to a restaurant. She's like, I'm really glad you called me because you know, with school, the five jobs I'm working, the library that I'm restocking, the orphanage I'm
Starting point is 00:16:15 helping build. Oh, I could have used a dinner. And he's like, well, I might have some good news this year. And she's like, please say it's not underwear. Please say you're not starting an underwear line Please please don't tell me in the Dwayne I'm starting an underwear line and I Got an email and he starts like it actually very cutesy and adorable and she's like, uh-huh He's like and it's really good news She's like isings on the printer? Even better.
Starting point is 00:16:48 Is it someone telling you that paper clips have already been invented and that's not a real company? What? Even better. Is it somebody telling you that Dan and Yogurt has already copyrighted? You have to come up with a new name for your yogurt line. Even better. Please say it's not somebody that's telling you that paper towels haven't been
Starting point is 00:17:09 invented yet please even better please tell me if someone telling you that there's no such battery called the Z even better I got my law thingy and she's like, I don't even believe you right now. And he's like, I think that's a bigger way off my chest than yours. And she's like laughing. She's laughing. And then she sees that he's mad. But instead of being like, I'm sorry what I meant was congratulations instead. She goes, well, it feels good to do what you're supposed to do in the first place, right?
Starting point is 00:17:45 I actually felt bad for him because he was so excited. And instead of her being like, oh my god, congratulations. I love you. That she was like, so you actually did something that was expected of you from six years ago. Congrats. What way to go? Congratulations. So he's like, well, I thought you were going to make a comment on my improvement.
Starting point is 00:18:06 She goes, um, yeah, because if you hadn't improved, we wouldn't even be together right now. And then the sound effect goes, which in that thing in this episode, they should have like 10 times, which is that movie thing. But to be fair, it was the sound of gizmo knocking over the sword machine uh... uh... only i think there's been an accident next door it's a bit of a and then she said i'm just saying that like i was losing faith and you restored it he goes
Starting point is 00:18:35 well she's like and you know you actually did it goes well i did actually do it because yeah that's what i just said because yeah you said you were gonna do it you did it and if you didn't do it, you would have been a liar. And it goes, well, you know, what do you need? And she goes, well, I mean, this is proof. And he goes, well, I couldn't prove it without proof. Objection, you're honored sustained.
Starting point is 00:18:58 May I approach the bar? So then she tops it all off with so are you going finish or you can actually take the bar and he's like It's a yes or no question Craig. He's like well, I played I played I played off the I'll be your honor man, and she's like well She's I take it. This is still going on my parents' credit card until you do so. He's like, oh, okay. So then, so things are tense between them. And then meanwhile
Starting point is 00:19:35 over at Shep's house, he's garshing at home. And he calls up Cam and is like, gosh, do you want to come to lunch with me and Catherine? Gosh, it's like wow lunch at a restaurant not just in your bed. You had them a free dough bag. Look at you, shit. You're adulting. And he's like, gosh, I don't understand why she like gives Thomas a pass, but then Catherine she's like so resistant. Why is she so mean to Catherine?
Starting point is 00:20:02 Why is she never going to have a Catherine? Why is she such a bitch? And she's like, okay, I'll go want to go to Catherine why is she such a bitch and she's like okay I'll go like oh oh never gosh mind never gosh my guard that's an answer to the gosh and then they sew that little ball doll that she bought them with a giant penis and we hear okay that's not even scary. What's happening on this show? So, and she totally understands him too. She's like, he gets the pass.
Starting point is 00:20:28 She's like, so you feel like it's a double standard? You're right. I'll be there. So she's like, well, I'm curious to see if change really has taken place. And he's like, well, bring your helmet and your safety, Garzgear. Garzgear. So he calls Catherine.
Starting point is 00:20:46 And he's like, he can't print how you doing. And she goes, I'm great. Wow, you should be in customer service. Thank you for calling to your mom all. Let me help you. I will do anything to help you. For English press arm for Spanish press arm arm
Starting point is 00:21:10 For an operator please wait on the line or press arm. Please hold arm arm arm arm arm arm So he's like guess what Cameron is agreed to come to launch and she's like, guess what? Cameron is agreed to come to lunch. And she's like, Cameron, Cameron, last time I saw her, I wasn't at my finest. And then it cussed to the reunion. And she's like, fuck you, that, I love you, that. Okay, yeah, I guess I remember that. And he goes, okay, great.
Starting point is 00:21:44 Well, I'll be there. I'll have bells on, not literally. As Milton once said, thou shalt bells, garg, garg. So Thomas is overretending that he takes care of his children with Ditra. Ditra. And his basically his wife now It's like she is the way they talk is essentially husband and wife, but come on
Starting point is 00:22:10 Yeah, he's like how the children she's like well. They're still breathing. He's like well. That's good I've got a date and she goes mr. Ravanale That's really it the bubble mr. Ravanale that's really it. The bubble. Mr. Avonail. What was the name of the nanny from last season? Because Deidre looks like a version of last season's Deidre. Or what's the name of the Deidre?
Starting point is 00:22:32 I don't think it was the same one. I think Catherine had a different nanny. But she looks, she was like, the other nanny was like, faux Deidre. Now this is current Deidre. Yeah, that nanny was like, listen, I've been putting a lot of miles on my little square car I cannot keep driving to events where Catherine is throwing fits at and needs me to drive the children So can I get gas mileage and he's like get out of here?
Starting point is 00:22:57 Beatra you you and your impacuneous ways can't be around saint and Kenzie How saint impacuneous ways can't be around saint and kinsa house saint name is so obnoxious i know so lantin so tomas is calling us a date but then as you're about to get into landen is not considering this date
Starting point is 00:23:15 which is awkward yeah landen's getting ready she's in her row she's like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Oh Waiting waiting on the phone voice so she talks to resistor bam. Yeah, no relation to Bam Marjara But you know or Bam Bam rubber Brooklyn art museum They like it was do you want to make a donation? This is the Brooklyn art museum. We're just calling to say you cannot call your business. The Brooklyn Art Museum. Why?
Starting point is 00:23:47 Is that because I put up a picture of Jesus pooping? I guess I should have checked them, but I knew it. Business is. I was just like having a delayed laugh at the idea of BAM. Calling a blind and to tell it a change your website. Hi, I'm Maria, Maria, Ladyface Grover and I'm here to tell you that from the Brooklyn Art Museum that you are violating our non-profit status right now.
Starting point is 00:24:20 Well, that's a coincidence and then I don't make property there. So she's talking to the city. You got robotty. You're like, okay, my voice got all weird too. You missed nothing. No one missed anything. I was just trying to make a joke about Brooklyn. So bam is like, how you doing? And she's like, well, I'm going to dinner. And her sister goes, eating alone. It's like Jesus. It's like they've had this call 5,000 times.
Starting point is 00:24:52 It's life back on the house, but yeah. If I'm at Chili's alone, do I eat at the bar? Or do I eat at a table? Mm-hmm. So sometimes it's just me and my baby back, baby back ribs. That reminds me, I'm never gonna have a baby reminds me of baby back ribs. That reminds me of never gonna have a baby baby baby back. I just want somebody to truly live me.
Starting point is 00:25:19 So, landed. She's like, no, actually I'm going to dinner with Lance. Uh, Thomas. Remember how I told you, but Rizad I'm a very dinner and everyone said you and Thomas and you and Thomas Parents like please just get to the point they're giving me a goddamn headache. We're opening our exhibit in two hours please the gal is about to start and then landed and then landed tells us I know how Thomas feels and if I say yes, I'll bring pretty quickly in some horses. So then it's time for the date and Thomas and Landon show up and then drunkly at the next table is already staring at them. She's like asking them on TV.
Starting point is 00:26:01 So they're there and then landed in orders in Muhammad Ali cocktail. And when it arrives, Landon does the most land-in thing ever, which is, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the center close up like they put the camera on the table like how are they getting close to this woman well the lady just had like a shit face expression to you she was sitting there like her head was for backs is giving her triple chin and she had like two fingers on her cheek and a thumble over chin and she's like well look at these two lovebirds I think is a great double date all for them having great time and the guys the other tables like mother you are having double vision again No, it's a great double date. They're all getting along so well two identical twins going out with two identical twins
Starting point is 00:27:16 So I have to add that Thomas goes. I'll try that Cabernet so be young I got the most expensive bottle you are so impressive so this is dry place somewhere I was very angry was your narrator landing is they're having small talk but also serious talk about he's like well we're having a birthday party for St. Unfortunately, I don't have a partner to help do this with me because I banter from the premises and Lantins like yeah, that's really hard Then I don't know how this happens, but Thomas says you got to prove you can do it. I'm like, how have you proven it? Your children literally live next door to you. Yeah. And then landing goes, I like hot. What the fuck? And then I like spicy. They're talking about the cocktails
Starting point is 00:28:22 because you were made. You were made for each other the cocktails arrived And hers is spicy or something like that So that's when she's talking about that and then they make some stupid small talk about she's got a turquoise ring He's like that's a wonderful turquoise ring you got there. You know that turquoise made a bound in turkey And then she's like That's my favorite and he's like, I love turquoise, that's my favorite. And he's like, me too. I'm like, liar, it is not your favorite. Periwinkle is your favorite, so stop it.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I love turkey. So land in. Well, the reason I go on dinner is because Matt Pagicic called me a very hot deal. And said, I could crush you, here and bring a hot deal? And said, I could crush you, consider you as a suitor. And I said, if he was 20 years younger, and they'd have two kids, and a crazy baby mama.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I'm like, not even the felony landed. Like, you're really, you're really lowering the bar here. Yeah. Yeah. I think it just begins and ends with the cocaine felony. Yeah. It's not even what's that thing where you go under the bar. Done.
Starting point is 00:29:30 That dance. Oh, the limbo. Yeah, it's not even a limbo. You're just like tripping over the bar now. Like literally no one can get under that bar. The cockroaches would have to go over it. I like what Landon says here, because I actually feel like it's very honest and a lot of people don't own up to this and she's like, you know, I wish I
Starting point is 00:29:47 didn't care what people think about me but like I do and like I can't help it. So then that's when rabbit-n-o's like, you know what I say to people just say that I say go critics, I just say go fuck that self, speak all intellectual and stuff, fuck thyself. Anyone doesn't like you, the total son of the bitch anyway, at which point, the lead- You know, that was written by a playwright named Sakes Queer, get it? Moliere, more like, less year, right? Who wants Moliere when you can have less?
Starting point is 00:30:23 You know what I'm saying? I know, what I'm saying. I know no So then at this point the lady just she's drunk and she's like Just be yourself darling. You're precious you to get it done I've watched you with her and you to put out a chemistry that cannot be denied I see the spark and I can just sit here and say nothing I can't just sit here and say nothing I've been married 34 years and as a southern woman I can tell you one thing this girl is your soul mate now give more slits please
Starting point is 00:31:00 what's going on out there is a train stopping I heard like What's going on out there is a train stopping? I heard like I'm being on there they've come from me they're hauling me away. It's crazy been Like what is happening up there on that bill? Hey drunk lady. Do you know what turquoise is from? I sure do come some Claire's boutique. Am I right everyone my soul mates? Oh, so landed like So shipping craze well, well by the way, by the way, oh I like Because then well because Thomas goes, no, man, we're just friends
Starting point is 00:31:47 I've never even made out with her ever in my world. Maybe you two should get on that So yeah, she goes the lady starts taking a page at least a Rina's book because I own it I only love it's right in that chair. It's not what it's what what you want. It's what you need. I own it. And Tom's like, is there a bag who came on that chair? I don't understand. Oh, that poor drunk lady. Her son was mortified. He's like, yeah, your soul mate. That has spoken to you for 16 years you drunk idiot. So we go on the chillies. So second chef and Craig are going to have lunch and wait for Catherine and chef's like, should I talk my shooter on
Starting point is 00:32:35 target? So Catherine's like, Catherine says that. And he's like, hi Catherine. Go. She's like, hi. And the waiter asked her for a drink and she goes, I'll have a regular Coca-Cola preferably without the name Landon on the can. We can do that for you.
Starting point is 00:32:57 So the whole thing is that Cameron is coming, but she's bringing Whitney as a surprise. And it's like, oh, how will it go? I'm like, it'll be fine because and and Catherine made a man's at the reunion So I don't know what all the fuss is about, but fine. I'll play along and He's like, well, are you nervous? It Cameron's coming and she's like, oh, gosh. I have no idea I called her last year, which I forgot and then they showed the clip of last year where she's like, maybe we could make lunch.
Starting point is 00:33:27 We could go to a lunch or something. Camera's like, uh, no, no. I don't need to. I don't prefer I prefer not to eat lunch. But you know what, I support you on your lunch journey. Please lose my number. Thanks. Go, you know what you should do.
Starting point is 00:33:40 You just go have some Indian food by yourself. I hear you put the curry first on and then the rice. I don't know. It was a year ago. She didn't know the rules yet Catherine's like well, I don't know people don't want to see me face to face because they don't know who I am with this contouring And chef is like I don't see what the big deal is like. It's just a friendly lunch. Garsh, it's southern, garsh. This lunch is so southern, Garsh. Yeah, that's what we're eating.
Starting point is 00:34:11 That's something that's called California Draven. Garsh. You have appetizers that's so southern. So Whitney comes in with Catherine. I'm with with Cameron and Catherine gives a total arm face. Like, um, I was like, what will happen? But then everything's fine, because they sit down to lunch. And then Cameron's like, Catherine, I just want to tell you,
Starting point is 00:34:33 I totally support you. And I'm here to support you. And I know it didn't support you in the past, but I'm here to support you now. So they are there, contour face. Sepordi, Dordi. OK. OK, can we finish?
Starting point is 00:34:44 I have to say that this whole scene, chef, is like, yeah,y, okay? Okay, can we finish? I have to say that this whole scene chef is like, yeah, talking about roasting me out. Yeah, I hate mouth noise. It makes me crazy. I actually, I know it's hypocritical because I'm right up against my mouth and people probably hear every time I swallow a spit, but there you go. And I sit here and I sit in my Starbucks every episode, and you can hear every burp that comes out. So I apologize. But so Catherine actually said something
Starting point is 00:35:12 that I thought was so sad and tragic. And it kind of made my heart break, which is that she's reflecting on her relationship with Whitney. She tells us that Whitney knew her when she was 21, at the height of her innocence, and that he supported Thomas during what she called my downfall. He probably feels responsible for that. That is actually really devastating.
Starting point is 00:35:42 This girl is only 25, she's already like looking at herself with innocence lost and that she's got had a downfall. Like that is terrible. Like I actually felt so bad for her at that moment that this is how she views her life right now. Like she's peaked. She's broken. She had a downfall.
Starting point is 00:36:01 It's so sad. Yeah. Kind of. But then you have to remember, she fucked Whitney to get on TV and then ditched him for Thomas because he had a better name. It was still on TV, but that said, she was 21.
Starting point is 00:36:12 And argument that he prayed on her sort of, you know. Oh, totally. I mean, not even an argument. I don't think anybody would argue that he didn't do that. They're old pigs. Both of them are old fucking pigs are gross. And Whitney still does it.
Starting point is 00:36:25 He's like, I've got a TV show mother. And these girls come on and like pretend they're his girlfriend or whatever. But I still think that that's why Patricia doesn't like Catherine. It's like she'll never forgive him for what he did. She did to Whitney. It's like, it always comes back to the first thing that they're annoyed with, you know, and I think that that's it with Patricia Because Patricia is really a C word with her and at the end we see clips for next week and she's like It must be embarrassing and I have to go to a birthday party We're on town. You're not even throwing it here again But to be fair now the pendulum swings the other way
Starting point is 00:37:03 Catherine is a disaster and she is trashy and I think that I think that she she flies off off you know Off the handle and I bet you should see that and thinks that she's just basically trash And she's like whatever with this you know this young girl who thinks she knows everything and comes in and and is I don't I don't even think it has to do with like she still hates Catherine for being mean to Whitney I think it's that she just thinks that she's just trash Well, Patricia's married four old men for their money. So I mean I would I would be glad if she probably does think that but She's a hypocritical raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life
Starting point is 00:37:44 But come on someday Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.
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Starting point is 00:38:36 Well, I don't think that she, I don't think that she's upset with Catherine for marrying up or for banging up, but I think she's probably, she thinks that Catherine is uncoothed and... Well, her son is in a wig and a full face of makeup and possibly glued on eyebrows, and he's trying to convince people that he's fucking the women he's paying to be with him on the show, so she can suck a large penis. How dare you? That's what I say, Trisha.
Starting point is 00:39:01 How dare you? I will defend Patricia and her hashtag elephants matters for you and because she's hilarious Elevens last matter good one right good one that doesn't minimize anyone's movement does it so Whitney gives a half-ast like well we've had misunderstandings mother but it's in the past. And hopefully it'll be like, what are under the bridge? And she goes, what are under the rabbit L bridge? And everyone's like, oh, that's sad. And then Craig is like, I guess now you could
Starting point is 00:39:37 time to announce everyone that I've actually officially graduated from from law college. And now I'm like, can be like smart and stuff Officially and so like that's what's going on and ship just like rolls his eyes and he makes some joke I'm for what the joke was which was like are you gonna man up to the bar or something like that? And you know, that was actually funny. Yeah, the clown music starts and Cameron's like Nah, you took the bar. You went to a bar Craig I believe it when I see it, okay. That was pretty funny, actually.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Hey, does anyone want to go to Joanne Fabrics? I'm going to design Pejmimas. I'm going to design Cafft hands with Gizmo's face on them. So wait a minute, that's been invented, Craig. Now that I'm a lawyer, I can finally defend Noomi and Yolanda, the Ed Fritzowing her mom for copyright infringement with her entire face. I like that. They're all like making small talk now that they got over the drama and
Starting point is 00:40:35 the camera. She goes, well, so how are you doing, Whitney and Cameron? Because well, Whitney's in love and Catherine goes with what? My renaissance Jumbo's clamor, right? I'm so young. I have to note that when Craig says that about law school chef is like Like rolling his eyes while he eats not just with his mouth open. Yeah, yeah Okay, so next up golf Yeah, yeah, okay. So next up golf, Austin and Craig.
Starting point is 00:41:04 Yeah. And Austin's like, let's go, Halle Wood, with his mouth moving and like staying open too long. I wonder if he catches flies in his mouth. It's always open. It's awesome. It's crazy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:17 Austin Flight Drop. Perhaps. So they're golfing and they're talking about Chelsea. And Austin's like, yeah, you know, she's like, you know, sort of garden stuff. So it's like yeah, you know, she's like, you know sort of garden stuff So it's like hard because she like only wants to keep a casual, but she's pretty guard So you know like I don't know where she is with shit But like if she wants to be the ship like just let me know, but like I don't care like we'll see
Starting point is 00:41:36 How do we play this sport? so You want to make it $20 a whole up lost that one stupid Craig Stupid idiot god damn it idiot. God damn it. Idiot. Fucking God damn it. All right. And I owe you $20.
Starting point is 00:41:51 He's like, actually, that was whole 18. That there was one. Damn it. Stupid. Great. I'm waiting to graduate from my math school. So finishing my upper level of requirement on that. I hope you don't mind that while you're talking about Chelsea, I kind of embroidered an image of Gizmo onto your golf bag.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Is that cool? Is that Gizmo? It looks just like a blotch. It's like Gizmo when he's sleeping in a certain position. That's Gizmo when he's licking his stomach. That's really hilarious. So they're just basically talking about Chelsea being guarded and then this is cross cut with Shep, Shep needs yet another haircut from Chelsea. She's like, where are you just in here three days ago? I mean life is like a box of chocolates and all but I don't actually have the chocolates here
Starting point is 00:42:35 Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know how many times they're gonna come in for a haircut Gars that doesn't even make sense. You're no bronchaisister, that's for sure. So she's like, I have never been co-wile, and before, and I've lived it for so good. And she's like, well, I'm in the belly of the beast. You know what I mean? And she goes, uh, no. My salon is called perfect hair.com. Not beast. He swallowed you. So chef's like, when I go out with girls, they're always
Starting point is 00:43:16 like saying something and then I'm like, grows. But I bet you've got a lot of guys chasing you, huh? And she's like, nobody. I was like, well, what did you already do? I'll boss you and spit him out, gosh. And she says, wait, just have a good time to give. And he's like, well, you're not dating. And she goes, no, but we do have food. So then Craig, and sorry, I thought,
Starting point is 00:43:42 I thought you were gonna add another syllable to that word. I didn't realize you were saying fun. I thought you were gonna say like a longer word. So it wasn't ready. It's almost like soaking it like when the guys with the coconut at San on blue deep. But it's not. It's a contra con egg. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:01 So meanwhile Craig and Austin are talking about aep and how he likes to conquer girls. And essentially, they say, I believe it's Craig who says that Shep is the kid in the sandbox who, like, doesn't want to play with the toy, but then someone else gets the sandbox. And then when they play with the toy, then Shep wants to play with the toy before they play with the toy in the sandbox.
Starting point is 00:44:19 I'm like, why is this taking place in the sandbox? I'm confused. Not to mention, that's the last place you buried your buried yourself in a hole with Catherine. It was scary on Jackal Island. I wish I knew Chelsea then. She'd know anything about surviving on Island at night. Talk about stealing toys.
Starting point is 00:44:36 It was the fire festival before there was a fire festival. On a hole in the island near a hotel. We saw lights in the distance, but we weren't sure we could get to it. So we just dug a hole in the beach and just slept there. So Chelsea is trying to pretend that she's like the new chef. Everybody wants to be the new chef. You guys, the old chef is old.
Starting point is 00:44:57 Like, we don't need a new chef. Okay. She's still there. But she's like the girl chef. And she's like, well, I don't want to be married. I like having one person to have sex with though. I'm like, you are such a liar, okay? The first minute when you were flirting with Austin, you were like,
Starting point is 00:45:14 oh, that's what you're going to do. Act like that. And then the minute she liked him, you could tell because she's like, you are sure handsome in a shirt. Like, she's so in love. I don't even want to listen to her. Pretend she's mail chat. My motto and it comes to dating is out with out play out last. Am I right, everyone?
Starting point is 00:45:37 So she's like, well, that's great. Then come have a glass of wine with me. She's like, I'm on the cloak. And he's like, well, get off the clock. And she's all awkward because that would be a total betrayal of her to do. And she knows it. So why doesn't she just say I'm dating Austin? Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. So then we go to Thomas and his not wife, wife, Deedra, and they're planning a birthday party for St. Which is basically Deedra's planning. She's like, all right. So this is the cake I want to get, and this is where I want my not daughters to be.
Starting point is 00:46:06 And this is what, this is the entertainment I got. He's like, looks good to me. Look at me being an active father. And why don't Thomas and Dietrich get together? They sort of have a chemistry together. Well, that's probably how it's going to treat any wife anyway. It's like just some lady who's making live next door with a caravist kid,
Starting point is 00:46:24 while he's not trying to fuck young people all night, you know? has gonna treat any wife anyway. It's like just some lady who's making live next door if he cares of his kids, while he's not trying to fuck young people all night. I mean, it's actually cheaper to just keep G. D. D. D. D. D. as a wife. So then, a rabbit, a rabbit's dad to call him on the phone. And he's like, is that boy ready for his birthday party? He's like, yes, so he certainly is.
Starting point is 00:46:42 And I'm sure I'll be seeing you there. He's like, well, I'm going to the dentist. That toothed at a-am. And if they tell me my tooth has to come out, I'm afraid. I'll have to miss your downmarket part, hey. And then we get this sad moment of Thomas just looking like, oh my god, my dad doesn't love me. I'm like, shut the fuck up, Thomas.
Starting point is 00:47:04 You're only calling your dad because you're wondering if he's decided to give you many after your post-report presentation. Like he ever calls his dad I'm sure. So um Kenzie, Kenzie just passes by going B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B and like ripping off her clothes which is hilarious. Yeah. Just in time for Whitney to come over. It's like a regular hilarious. Yeah. Just in time for Whitney to come over. It's like a regular day. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:27 So Whitney comes over and Thomas is like, that was Kinsey. She's Paul to train now. And he goes, are you? Are you Thomas? Thomas, are you Paulty trained? Gross. Yeah. So he's like, well, I'm sorry. I'm going to be in LA right now.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Patricia will come by. You invited Catherine. And the question is Catherine invited to the children's, well, it's a St. First birthday party. And then the drums like, give us more knocked over the song machine again. So he says, well, DNA doesn't change. And 30 days in rehab can't fix a person. Like, okay. So alcoholism is now in your DNA. Well, clearly, he's never seen something he's fine. So, because if anyone could revive that franchise,
Starting point is 00:48:25 it'd be Catherine Dennis. I'm in a glass container, I'm gonna break it. So, it's a very quiet version of species. The whisper version of species. Tommas, come back to my planet. So, so, Landon and Drew, so I was so excited for Drew. This is first big boy scene where he actually got to say something. So, Landon and Drew go out to some restaurant called home team and the waitress comes by and
Starting point is 00:48:57 says, what's the order? And Landon's like, well, you can't come to home team and not get a game changer, right? And Drew's like, yeah, I'll get a tequila soda. You can and not get a game changer, right? Andrew's like, yeah, I'll get a tequila soda. You can't not get a game changer, Drew. This is why you're not on the show. You guys, where have you been? She's like, oh, you know, I don't know. He's like, you been hiding.
Starting point is 00:49:19 And she's like, I haven't been hiding. Yeah. And this is where it goes. Well, what you get into today, she's like, Oh, the website. There's problems because we can't call it Rome anymore. Because it turns out there's several other websites called Rome. Like several, I don't think several
Starting point is 00:49:47 websites are called Rome.com. She's like, but it's okay because I had this great idea. I was like, we could just name it something else. I got so excited. I was like, yeah, I was like, Mom, just call it. Yeah. She goes, you ordered collardard greens That's my grandma's favorite and he's like well Yeah, that's my grandma's too, you know, I had him for the first time and when I was born in 1995 or something It's he's like please say you were born in 1995 How does she do the reverse of her laugh? That the reverse of it is like... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH No, for real, I really am losing my eggs and I want to have kids. So Anyway, I want that soon and Drew just goes yeah Yeah, yeah, he's just I just wrote blank
Starting point is 00:51:03 She basically like do I still have to pay you for didn't do I have to pay the for this dinner like Oh, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, soft boil them, right? No, I'm not talking about those eggs true. You're so hot and dumb. So then she's like, you know, I'm like I'm still convinced it's a cat. She's like, I've never had a boyfriend who's been on a walk with me. I'm going to walk my dog with me. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm your boyfriend. He's like, you're crying into that chicken wings. And now I'm going to be able to show you, pay for it and not even taste it. This is really not a good day. I did actually genuinely feel bad for her. Like, everything is sort of crumbling around her. She realizes everyone in the world is her.
Starting point is 00:52:11 Well, there was nothing built. Yeah, nothing could crumble. She's just realizing that she's like shallow and poor. Yeah, and that she has no romantic prospects. And I, Thomas is like the only thing that's available to her. And he's of ex-filling with the crazy babe and mama and two kids at woodlock. And also has that like, what does that look he has?
Starting point is 00:52:34 It's like kind of cross-eyed squid ledger. Leroy's, Leroy's, Leroy's disgusting. So yeah, she's upset and I felt bad for her, but then I realized you're about to cry for Landon. Why would you? And I was like, oh, because it's all about me and I felt bad for her, but then I realized you're about to cry for landing Why would you and I was like oh because it's all about me and I walk a dog? Yeah, it's about me you could marry her, but I don't want someone to walk a dog with me I want someone to walk a dog for me. So I was like, okay, it's different. I stopped crying. Yeah, so now Aphrodite Liz
Starting point is 00:53:03 Yeah, Catherine, like slightly gothed up. She meets up with Elizabeth someplace and they are just sort of sitting there talking about pastries. Maybe they're going to have and and Elizabeth is like, so do you have has everything with you and Thomas? She's like, um,
Starting point is 00:53:21 well, I wrote him a letter, um, but he never wrote me back. And so Elizabeth is like, um, well, I wrote him a letter. Um, but he never wrote me back as the Elizabeth's like, well Guess what he actually did write you a letter and I'm gonna give it to you right now. I'm back on this show, baby I'm back So she pulls to that on also she's like like, well, my, my boys, her in it, when they said it's the boys birthday. And she's like, well, let's get that disco cheese. Let's get that disco cake for
Starting point is 00:53:52 saint. And it's like this little sprinkle cake. And she's like, she goes, man, do you want to read that letter? We're low, do you just read it? And I'll be eating this cake. Okay, Liz. Good move. This cake, that's for both of us, I'll read it. And Catherine tells us, Kinsey's first birthday was at Liz's house, and I had balloons and I jumped up and it really said where I was in that moment.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Hi. And then we see the picture of her in mid-air. I was like, oh. so the letter is basically, we see her reading it and she's mouthing it like, like really, so, Luz probably ate like five cakes in that time. And then we see Thomas reading, I guess, a copy of this letter to Whitney. It's the same letter. It's the same letter he just hadn't sent it yet. Oh, Liz hadn't come over yet. Yes, he's like Dearest Catherine It regrets me in pain's my heart to inform you that the bridge is now closed to your quarters
Starting point is 00:54:56 I would however like to say you are more than welcome to pass by my home and change your Amazon from Count As I stopped paying for it anyway. Oh, Thomas. He's like, since C.I.L.A. Thomas Ravan. And so it's like happy. It's hopeful because now Catherine is invited to the birthday party and maybe they are going to start getting back on the same foot. And she gets to go. Yeah, she gets to go to the party on the same foot. Yes,
Starting point is 00:55:30 they're on a good yeah, they're both on Liz's foot. She's like, I never win on this show. And Catherine's like, well, he didn't invite me. So I guess that's good. I'll just be positive and have a good attitude. And Liz goes, whoa, well, this is a new Catherine. You're smiling and not crying. And she goes, nice to meet you again. Nice to meet you too. And by the way, you ate the other half of that disco cake
Starting point is 00:55:58 while you're reading. You just don't remember it, OK? You ate it. You ate it, for real. Namaste, Tommy! Namaste! Namaste! So everyone, Namaste, everyone out there. What a fun episode.
Starting point is 00:56:19 We are back tomorrow with below deck med. It doesn't feel like it will be a good one. So get your anchors untangled because we're going to be chatting with you. Mannyana. All right. So bye, everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music.
Starting point is 00:56:42 Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen to add free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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