Watch What Crappens - #469 RHONY: Please Tell Me It's Not About Chicken
Episode Date: June 2, 2017The ladies of Real Housewives of New York are still in the Berkshires. Someone stains a chair, someone hogs the cheese, and Bethenny is in a dungeon no one will ever understand. Enjoy! Subscr...ibe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
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We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Madonna Hines Mia Hanson
Loha Christie Dowardy just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson we love you girls
Hello and welcome to the watch what crap ends podcast the podcast about all that crap
We love to talk about on yo broves. I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rosepricks of bachelor podcast, which has
been really fans to go listen and ban. This has been
Mandelker of the B side blog and the banter blender podcast.
Hello, ban. Hi there. And guess what? I just posted something
on my blog today. It's always exciting when I do that. Yeah, I
posted a board game review. It's a game called Ponzi scheme.
Plays 2 to 5 players. So if you are interested in a new board game, go check it out. I gave
an honest review. So check that out on my blog because because why not? Yeah, exactly.
What the hell else, you know, before you take your kids to school or pick them up from
school, come on. Yeah, you know what the weekend is upon us soon
So at least you'll know what to get to and train yourself on those long days with no work
Everybody we also have a birthday today. Oh, Shad. We do that's exciting Anna. It's your birthday
You know what happy birthday Anna and that's from your friend Emily from work. Oh, so we love you guys
Thank you for listening to us and your cubicles. She is great that Emily from work
I hear she makes a great cup of coffee over at the lounge the workers lounge station
Yes, Emily knows the best pods to use in the curie go. Okay, everybody says. And she absolutely never ate your lunch out of the refrigerator ever.
Emily would never.
And she would never, ever do that to you, not to her good friend Anna, who's birthday
it is.
I don't know who took the sandwich.
We just did a Reddit AMA.
Why are we tired after that?
It's weird, isn't it?
Well, I can say why I'm tired.
It's because I'm sick.
I'm able to. I mean, I I'm gonna be able to do an amazing
Tinzy Mortimer impersonation today.
And in fact, when I was trying to trace,
where did this cold come from?
I was like, I know I recently was talking to someone
who was like putting tissues in their nose
and that sort of like blowing their nose
in that way that's not really blowing the nose.
It's just sort of like poking in your nostrils.
Who was doing that? And it occurred to me I didn't interact with anyone.
It was just Tinsley doing that on last week's episode of New York.
She's like having a sword fight with her own nose. She's like, I'm poking my nose.
Yeah, I was like, Tinsley got, gave me a cold through the TV.
It was like a really bad version of the ring.
Yeah, I really liked that Tinsley talks like that.
I kind of wish we could just talk like that forever with Tinsley.
I know. Don't worry Tinsley, I got your voice down perfectly today. But anyway,
because I wrote that Tinsley, since we're still learning how to do Tinsley, I learned that she
talks like that. She has a sibling S. Siblin ass. Siblin ass. But anyway, as you were saying, yes,
we just did an AMA, which means asking me anything on Reddit. So if you want to see what we,
what we were, what we responded to people's questions, you just have to go to the reddit.com
slash r slash Bravo real housewives. Yeah, that's right.
Or just go up to Twitter. Yeah, it's always a good place to talk some housewives.
So I've said they give us so much love there. It's actually like, it's crazy how good they are to us.
I know.
I mean, there were a lot of questions about how big my penis is.
Sorry guys.
Sorry.
It's secret.
It's just a good question.
Could you imagine if that's what it is?
Like literally nobody has ever asked me that.
Well, it is funny.
Like, it's fun to see what sort of questions people ask.
And it was really fun. It was really good for my ego. I really needed that today.
So it'll ego struck with your cold band. I mean, you know, like when you're sitting there wearing your free fun your die teacher down to the Ralph's to get a tea, anything, what is my
life become? And then you see all these people writing
his nice comments and questions.
You're like, no, I am doing something with my life.
You shouldn't wear a funny or die shirt
when you could literally die.
No?
But I could literally be funny also.
All right, well, let's start this episode off
as the real episode started off with really creepy,
horror Christmas bells.
It was like, Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, apartment because I was so excited for another Berkshire's episode. While you were wearing your bell bracelets.
I was wearing bells. That's where the bell music came from.
Both correct. Okay, both correct. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not,
I am not like Shep who is not wearing bells literally.
I am literally wearing bells this week.
We'll call back to two days ago. Anyway,
Berkshire's Berkshire's. So we open with, um,
with, uh, this is just crazy, first of all,
because this is all in the big verkshars house of blue, you know,
yeah, my dad used to live in male,
yeah, in my wallet.
So I feel like any, any house that has that kind of history is going to be crazy,
you know?
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
And it opens up with where we left off,
which is that Dorenda at the end of last episode
had pulled the way in into the blue velvet couch room.
And it was like, listen, I just wanna ask you,
okay, once and for all, where do you stand with Tom
because the girls are saying that people are tweeting
and texting and not shone, Barbara,
you know, she had from cocktail inside saying things.
And then it's like, I'm telling you, everything is fine.
Everything is wonderful.
We're going forward.
I don't care what people say.
Yes.
And LeWand was doing that and her, you know, grabbing at her turtleneck, which she knows
so lie.
She's like, oh, turtleneck.
Oh, my turtleneck is so uncomfortable.
Oh, oh, turtleneck. Oh, oh god so we all know it's a lie but it's okay
I'm on the internet yeah why should Lou Ann be the only one who doesn't get to
have a terrible embarrassing marriage it's a housewives it's a it's a housewives
right okay yes so she's like I just kept telling them well you know what
you're even thinking just like you sure you're happy and she's like, I just kept telling him, well, you know, what are you even thinking? Just like, you sure you're happy.
And she's like, I'm happy.
You know, in Ramona, little Jessica Fletcher, Ramona Fletcher,
murder she writes, still constantly.
I said, what are you doing?
Writing your back through, Caput Cove,
asking all of Tom's friends.
You know, what are you trying to prove?
I'm like, she's trying to prove
that her best friend isn't the murderer. Yeah, exactly. And Speaker of the devil, Ramona
comes wafting into the room, you know, with that sort of soft voice, like, hi, hi. And
so she sits down, which is what the cliffhanger was last last week. And she sits down and
Lewis continuing to to to try to prove that everything's okay by saying things like,
I mean, what couple doesn't have lovers quarrels? Am I right, everyone?
What couple doesn't have lovers and fidelity? Is that my right?
Sometimes men drink from the milk and sometimes they drink from random vaginas
that are scattered throughout the city.
I mean, what couple doesn't go through finding lips...
What's good on another woman?
Good for the gander. Am I right, everyone?
Gander? Gander's the name of my male friend on the side. go through finding lips. Good for the gander. Am I right? Everyone?
Gander, Gander's the name of my male friend on the side,
which I would never do anything
with because I love Tom. Can you
believe it, girls? Well, you know,
Ramona is going to have a crazy
episode because she's doing that
Ramona whisper. She does where
she's like, Oh, yeah, everybody,
it's me Ramona. And then she
gets down. she sits down
She sits down to have like a very meaningful whisper talk with Louanne and she's like yes, listen
Leigh-in I just wanted you to know you know
He's not gonna change that's it. You just have to realize he's not gonna change
And when Ramona starts talking slow like that she sounds like
twin peaks when they record everybody's dialogue backwards. Yeah. She's very
red room-esque. It makes sense because I do believe that Ramona comes from the
black lodge. Yes Ramona is possessed by Bob. Yeah, Ramona,. Yeah, she, because she comes to
town. And then of course, Bethany comes to sit down. Bethany who
doesn't want to ever get involved, but then sits down. And what
are they fucking magic? All the women suddenly were there. Did
you notice that? You don't even see them come in. She's just
like, Luian, I'm gonna say this like a spell. And then boom, it's
like right behind her. The other way, they're just sitting on
the couch watching. It's like when there's a fight on the Simpsons,
anytime there's a fight in the Simpsons,
like they'll just keep drawing and people in the background,
they just appear out of nowhere. That's what it is.
So, Ramona, she does her whisper nursery school voice,
which is like, all I know is that if I was getting married
in two weeks and we went to D'Rinda,
I would want to hear from my good friend D'Rinda,
certain things, okay? And she's like, well, I'm not going to change a 40-year-old man,
which is just her excuse now. He's like, well, he's been having sex with people in the
lobby of the Regency for years. Who might have changed that? Who might have deprived all those
good people from the Regency, the joy of being able to watch Tom
Having sex with some fluency. I mean they all love it. Why should I deprive them of that joy?
And also Luan's refusal to admit anything is hilarious. I mean Luan will win every court case ever because she'll just stick to restored no matter what
Well also so will Ramona because Ramona just keeps on saying saying these things as if they're facts
soul of Ramona because Ramona just keeps on saying saying these things as if they're facts even though they really are more just gossip but she's like all right it's fine you know he hasn't changed that's
all right you know he hasn't changed okay yeah he hasn't changed as far as the things from the past
okay because he's kissing other women and the one is like oh Ramona he's with me 24 hours a day
when would he even have time like well I have friends who see Tom without Louie and you know why?
Because she's not there.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
I'm around him every single hour of the day from like 10 a.m. to 8 p.m.
I mean, that's ridiculous.
Wouldn't he do anything beyond those hours?
Well, you know, he goes out with ex-girlfriend and kisses them and you're not there because you're not there
Hey, well we all have ex-girlfriends. I mean I have ex-boyfriends. What's your point Ramona?
Yeah, she'll take one thing that's true like so leave out the kissing them part
Yeah, like I'm just saying that Tom looks like he's cheating. I mean who doesn't love a good cheetah
I mean that's my favorite part of an an interest special, watching the cheetah run fast. So what's the big deal?
If people didn't like cheetah, then why is everyone in here owning a cheetah
dress? Prove me wrong, ladies. And then both Bethany and Ramona will not stop,
but they're pretending to be nice. And that's like Bethany's new way. She's like,
well, you know, like literally, like I get it. I mean, I totally think it's
fine. I'm like totally supporting you. I'm not even gonna say anything else, you know
It's just like I'm gonna be one head with the space ball bad about it because like I have doubts about it
You know and like I get what you're feeling right now like you feel alone like to train the stuff to station
You have to go through with it because all your friends are fucking them and you don't want it like I get it
I could I feel for you. She's like no, that's not what I said Bethany. No, no, no, no
I understand like you don't want to talk about it because he's totally cheating on you.
I mean, what I see him to do is like,
you're a train in a station, there's no train there.
Like, what are you gonna do?
Other horse are on the train.
They're like rubbing their vaginas on the seat to the train.
Like, what do you want me to do?
I'll support you.
I'm in the train station with you.
You want popcorn?
I've got some on my suitcase.
You know, cracks become craters.
Cracks become craters.
All the things, cracks become craters.
You know, I'm like, you go, you go, you go,
you can't even go to like, you can't even go to California
because you go there, you go to crack and become a crater. Like, it's like a meteorolting ground. I'm being, you go, you go, you go, you can't even go to like, you can't even go to California because you go there
When it comes to crack and becomes a crater like it's like a meteor falls in the ground because I understand that cracks
Don't actually become craters cracks just become beer cracks or maybe a business, but like a crater
You know like they both start with seats like a really good alliteration like I can't like writing. I'm like just so sad
Like I'll see if I have to talk about just playing cracks and craters one more time like I just want to meet you to fall make me into a crater
I can't like literally that's what made Joshua tree
So yeah,
I love that album. I love it. Can you tell I left my house? I'm gonna make a lot of
Joshua tree references now because I've seen rocks. I was like how did these rocks get
here? And the girls I was with are like like do we are you do we really need to explain
it to you? It's like yes please. Did you go you go to the Integra Tron? We only went to Hidden Valley because you know,
Fander Pamp rules.
So I was like, I want to visit the Katie Rock.
So we went to Hidden Valley Ranch
and climbed a bunch of rocks.
A bunch of rocks.
And I was like, look, that's Katie.
Look, that one's Katie too.
And then no one got it.
But Beth was like, look, you know,
you stumbled into something last year,
like you couldn't control it. You know, there was a situation. It wasn't typical of an engagement party. And like, look, you know, you stumbled into something last year, like you couldn't control it.
You know, there was a situation.
It wasn't typical of an engagement party.
And like you started that situation.
So please stop talking about stumbling.
Like you can't say some of stumbled through something when you're like the crack and the crater and the floor.
Yeah.
Well, that Lou, Lou answers.
She starts saying, well, you know, every moment of your friends make up to your stories because it makes them feel good about themselves. You ever think about that? You ever think about that? I mean, it's ridiculous. And then they're like saying well, you know, every moment of your friends make up the store is because it makes them feel good about themselves.
You ever think about that?
You ever think about that?
I mean, it's ridiculous.
And then they're like, why would anybody make up like making that with Tom?
Like who would do that?
Like seriously?
And Llan starts saying things like, no, ladies, that was a year ago.
It was a year, but things like, no, it was a year.
I was like six months ago.
And then Ramona is like, he and he did it getting made and July.
And then last week.
And then yesterday, and right now,
he's doing it right now, the win.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, but your calendars they class at four.
My eye count just went off.
He's doing it right now.
He's doing it right now.
And in 10 seconds, it's going to disappear.
He's like a snap hook up.
Okay.
She's like, don't you have something better to do Ramona and
set your eye-called every time Tom possibly makes out with someone in a
region see it 49 year old and unchangeable and Bethany's like oh what do
something better than help our friend no we don't have anything better to do
than help our friend. You people are disgusting please keep going please
keep going. But then Ramona actually finally says something that actually kind of
makes sense that doesn't seem as spiteful.
She says, I see how happy you are with Tom, okay?
And I don't want something to happen.
Nine months down the line and we'll hold town notes and you're devastated.
Okay?
Everyone knew my ex was having a fit.
I was the last to know.
I was like that Della Metry song. It's last to know. It was terrible, okay?
I like when Ramona does like her fake crying thing. She's like, it was outbait.
Sit, okay. And she's like thrashing her head around like she's listening to metal. She's like,
well, Tom is like a rest stop. It's gonna happen every few miles. If you just keep driving the car,
someone's gonna try and be on the dime again.
Okay, I learned it page six.
I'm like, you did not, you learned in Morocco
and you call that poor psychic a liar, okay?
Yeah.
Headlurch, headlurch.
She's like, it's the first of being gay.
It's not gonna get better.
It only gets worse.
It's the anti-trever project.
It's the Tom project.
It gets worse, okay?-trever project is the Tom project it gets worse okay
get worse okay. Hi, I'm Ramona to tell you I was bullied by Mario on page 6 and it's only gotten worse
okay kill yourselves. It's like well well wrong charity Ramona
So the way it's like well look, you know, maybe Ramona thinks that it would happen to her. It's gonna happen to you.
I like when Durrinda is the therapist.
Yeah.
See, here's what you got to do with your relationship.
You got to take the wood out of the fireplace that doesn't work.
Are you going to put in the fireplace that does work?
Okay.
Look, here's my advice for you.
Open the flu.
Okay. Open the flu right now. You can't spell flu without flu, you know what I'm saying?
So then, so then the one's like, did he make, did Tom make a mistake? Yes. Am I competent?
That he will not make the mistake again? Yes. What's the problem, ladies?
Is my name, Luan? Yes. Is this turt Neck suddenly uncomfortable? Yes. Do I know why?
No, I don't.
Have I been hanging around with Shadow Mdour too much?
Yes.
Is David cheating on Shadow?
No.
How was the service in this restaurant?
Find so far.
Am I done with the survey?
Do I get a mint?
I'm sorry.
I thought I was talking to my good friend, Mr.
Jopfries the cat. And then Beth comes in again. Okay, like I totally get it
Like I'm totally behind you. I support you and you know here's all I'm saying if you don't have if you have doubts
You don't have to do this
If you are not helping she's like here. I am under the spotlight again
She's like I don't have doubts. I got it. You do have doubts.
Understood.
No, I do not have doubts.
What part of that do you not understand?
I don't think I understand the part where you said not, as in you do not have doubts, because
you have doubts, right?
It's like being in that rock and sushi.
The spotlight comes on me and no one turns on my track.
Bethany's like, let me guess.
It's something from doubt.
No doubt?
Is it no doubt?
Don't speak, Anthony.
I'm just a girl, like seriously, I'm just a girl.
I'm walking through the spider webs and that's not missing the song.
They're literally spider webs all over this crazy old house.
Well, well, well, well, I'm just a girl.
So then this shit has been out of this anyway, but anyway,
be a N A N A S. That's not my name. I smell like bananas, Bethany, not
Bethany. So Bethany saying, well, it's not even thinking about
love and compassion, but Palm Beach penthouse is party's boats.
Like those are all rented anyway. Well, that's because Llan says,
well, listen, we're in the I love every I love Tom. I
love our lives. Now we're in the mountains. We're in Palm Beach. We're
going skiing this winter. You know, we're great. That's when Bethany's
like, you didn't say anything about like, I love you or anything
like that. But then also Bethany Bethany starts saying, listen,
you know, Adam, you don't hear these rumors about Adam and he's
30 years old, you know, he's got like these 30 years old of
the thing, I'm being like with girls and everything like that. And Lohan's like, well, he's 30 years old Bethany, don't hear these rumors about Adam and he's 30 years old, he's got like 30 years old of him
I'm being like with girls and everything like that and the way I'm like well he's 30 years old Bethany
Don't be ridiculous. He's like yeah, that's when you're dick is in everything that moves. Come on up. Hey, and we're most like
Hey
It's one of many raunchy jokes that Bethany tried to make that just did not really land
Many raunchy jokes that Bethany tried to make that just did not really land
Well, we've skied together we did the big dipper slope together now that's love is that love? Yes
We like to say that we're in bunny love as in we kiss when we go down the bunny slope and then Ramona It's still trying to pretend that she's nice from under today
So she's like oh does anyone meet me thing and Luana's like I under the day. So she's like, oh, does anyone meet me thing?
And Luanne's like, oh, I could use a drink.
She's like, OK, I'll make you one.
I was like, wait a minute.
Who are you?
Because the last time you offered someone a drink,
you were like, would you like a drink?
OK, go get one at the bar.
We're not buying it.
Yeah.
So then, so then, Dorenda's just just like we just have to be happy for Lou, okay?
And so while she's getting the drink and everything's
Sonia tells Lou and she goes, you know, there's always someone jealous trying to ruin her for you, Lou and I'm like, excuse me
So yeah, you do not get the right to say that
You're still the one carrying on as if you're in an English patient romance with Tom
Yeah, Sonia's pretty good at flipping the script whenever she feels like it.
And then Bethany's like, no, we're not behind her.
You know, like it's gross.
It's like the trick guy.
This not what, uh, what was her thing?
Like, it's what I call the trick guy.
Okay, because that's the guy that didn't get laid in high school.
But now he has money.
So now he gets laid and so now he's like proving everybody that he has laid because like now he's cute because he has money, you know,
but Adam always got laid and like he's chuffed, you know, because he's not a trick guy.
And so he goes, whoa, you got to watch out for those trick guys. So like, please stop trying to make
trick guy work. That doesn't even make any sense. Please stop. Yeah, please stop trying to turn
one of the oldest theories in the history of men into your own
new concept.
Like a branded, you know, Bethany concept.
And so you go, he's called ugly duckling, by the way.
Yeah, ugly wealthy duckling.
So he was like, well, he has a, Adam has a very large penis and we can verify it later.
Ron and I have actually already verified that and it is verified. Is it? I didn't think it looks big, but I think that it later. Ronin and I have actually already verified that
and it is verified.
Is it?
I didn't think it looks big,
but I think that it's big.
That's what everybody says.
I think is it's not hard, you know?
I'm one of those people who sees like the statue of David
and I'm like, seriously, why would you pose like that?
Like when your penis looks like the end of a thumb,
but that's normal, you know?
Like he's a grower, not a shower.
Like what are you gonna do?
I thought that Adam looked pretty grown.
I feel like Adam needs to trim his pubic care.
There I said it.
Wow.
All the truth is coming out.
We then went to commercial and there was a promo for a new bravo show called Real Estate
Wars, which made me laugh because it was these two real estate, I guess, rival real estate
offices in Orange
County trying to sell the most stuff. And one was team relegants and one was team mcmonical.
And I was like, what is this crazy show relegants versus mcmonical?
I mean, if you're going to have real estate wars, you know, we're in so many wars. Like
I would like to see Yemen versus like Afghanistan. Like let's make it real people. Let's
stop pretending we're living
in the very princess war or world.
Let's get some fixer uppers in Syria.
You know what I'm saying?
What's you did with that cardboard box, okay?
So Durinda is in the kitchen with Ramona and Luan
and Durinda's been in small trouble.
Hey, where's the chicken?
Don't you think it's too early to put the chicken in here?
No, I'm okay.
I can't even fucking drink it.
Like a little cleaning lady.
And Bethany, Tinsley and Sonia are still gossiping
in the other room.
And Bethany's like, what?
She says she's confident, but no one who is
marrying a guy who is just kissing a playmate in a hotel lobby.
Like, no one is confident.
Okay.
She's just like, what?
It's a penis.
It's a vagina. What? Totally normal. Like, what the hell? It's like locker room stuff. Yeah, I mean,
I actually think Bethany is right. I don't think six months after that, the, the Regency flap that
you are just like have no doubts. You probably have some doubts. Oh, now I see why you were saying no
doubt before. I had no idea why you were saying no doubt. I'm sick. I think they're coming
slowly to me. Um, so she's, uh, let's see. But Carol, I think it's right when she's like,
well, some people can be very happy in a drama. And Tinsley was like, well, I was, I was
in a job. I was, uh, I've broken to someone's house. I was arrested. I was I broke into someone's house arrested. I was almost kicked out of Lawrenceville. I care
all the nights. I have so much joy in this story. She's like, yeah, Tinsley, you got arrested.
Okay, so when you were breaking into that guy's house and threatening to murder him and
bringing knives to his work, etc. Would you listen if somebody told you to stop and she's like, no?
No, I wouldn't and also thank you for speaking to me. I was forgetting that even I was on this show
So he was like, Tinsey, I hope you're having fun in there talking to my friends
Shut the fuck up bitch brown eyes. No, I'm saying girls. I'm gonna go where'd you go?
Your mug shot wasn't even so bad
Lindsay Lowens was way worse. But no hands. So then like Bethany and Carol are now gabbling to themselves and Bethany's
like, you know, she's like a seal or like a duck or like something that has like water
off its back. Like what is it? Like a seal or a duck? Like a duck seal duck? Like what
are those things? Like, well well why might we talk about them?
Why, why they even in the water first place?
They're not fish, why they bother them?
Like I say I can't, I don't see an Alchemy or an mammal.
Like, what about a sea lion?
Okay, it looks, it doesn't look like a sea, nor a lion.
Okay, it's like a big seal.
Like I don't get it, I don't get the world.
Like is this a sea otter?
A sea lion, I don't even know.
Who, who, who would lie about making that
with a sea lion?
A sea lion.
It's like a conspiracy.
Like, what, what a tomplow of 9-11?
Like, like is that him?
Like, seriously? Like, who, who does that? Like, honestly, like, what like what what a time blow up 9 11 like like is that him like seriously like who does that
Like honestly like what what's the difference between a sea lion and a maras the first place like I don't get like tusks
Like honestly tusks like you think I said what do you like look would Mac now?
You got your tusks like honestly. I can't you know what like whatever
I so this was when Bethany starts like she's like okay
Now I'm gonna start like brushing off some of my stand-up
So she starts trying to be super vulgar and she's like what's the other time? He must really have a chrome cock, you know his dick shoots diamonds, okay, now I'm gonna start brushing off some of my standup. So she starts trying to be super vulgar.
And she's like, what's the deal with Tom?
He must really have a chrome cock.
His dick shoots diamonds.
Okay?
Sometimes I call him in 24 carat twats.
Well, Tom must have a 48 carat penis.
Get it.
Oh, god.
Let me fuck you, carry twats.
He's like a chrome cock.
What has got against Firefox?
He uses his less memory.
He's like, who's gonna marry Chrome? Safari even like you can airplay that like can you airplay
chrome I don't think so like you have to buy a chrome stick like his chrome stick spin everywhere get it
yeah be here all week stay around a little bit later I'll give you some my nutscape stuff okay
how come no one uses operating more that's what I want to know all right anybody from opera huh
huh you know I don't use the opera
because it's like, you know, you get this,
like you can't understand what they're saying.
Like, okay, like, okay,
so you got some subtitles nowadays.
Like, that's great.
I've got to wear special glasses,
just to read my own browser.
Like, I don't want to use opera glasses.
Okay, I'll see, I can't.
So then Ramona and Sonia are privately talking Ramona's like,
oh my god, I think I did it
because Luana's engaging with me. It's like she's talking to me. And
she got well, oh, I thought she was saying her.
For the time that Bethany. Oh, okay. I thought they were like going
for Lou and Bethany else. Like, oh my god, Ramona is like trying
to sew it all up in this episode. So Sonny is like, no, she's
just being non reactionary, which I guess is good. And she's
like, well, Bethany isn't tell me, like, oh no, Sonia says, if Bethany's not saying, get the fuck out of here, Ramona,
shut your stupid face and leave the room. Then, you know, I think it's a good step.
Yeah. So Ramona's like, you know what, I'm going to do to make amends with Bethany. I'm
not going to apologize because then I'll just be the apologize or okay. Instead, I'm not gonna spoil your eyes because then I'll just be the apologize or okay
Instead, I'm gonna go into the back door. I'm gonna go in through her butt
I'm gonna annually have sex with her and then she'll realize that we're best friends, okay?
Remember bonus like-
I'm gonna say the next room and read a book
And then she can't say it wasn't the best friend ever, okay?
Remember that time I gave you anal I read a book in the living room while you slept And then she can't say it wasn't the best friend ever, okay?
Remember that time I gave you anal and read a book in the living room while you slept?
It was Mary Higgins clock, okay?
I'm gonna tell her, you know, like, because now I understand, I can't talk negatively about her daughter and I can't
talk negatively about her business and I can't talk negatively about her one of Korea.
I'm like, did you just look up negatively?
And they had like the TIV bolded.
Why does she say it like that over and over again?
It's Italy.
Could do's.
Could do's to you.
She mispronounced the word earlier this season.
I don't remember what it was, but it was hilarious.
Does anyone write a comment on this post on Facebook?
I don't remember.
She messed up a word and it was hilarious.
Mm-hmm.
So then, Asonia and Ramona are getting ready for the night.
And they're both like, either blitz,
like something's going on with those two
Me think someone had a little coke bag
They're purse because Ramona just starts getting crazier and crazier. She's like Sonya. What time should I set you along?
838
45 oh, so that was for fart. I inserted there
Sonia
Ramona she farted. Oh, I thought it was Sony
Sonia Ramona she farted. I thought it was Sonia. Oh, I thought it was Ramona because the camera was zoomed in on Ramona's butt because she and she goes oh I'm
a little gassy. 855 857 9 930 10 1015 846 932 just set the fucking phone Ramona
Sonia you have to tell me now otherwise I have to make a full cycle around the 12 hours before I can get back to 930
Okay, and me while Sonia's like
Ramona did you drop my makeup in the toilet? It's all wet. No. I didn't do that at all
It's all what no I didn't do that at all
So downstairs Bethany's just wandering around taking things out of cabinets for no reason because that's She's like well, it's a talk happening. I'm gonna get in there. Don't tell me I can't no one tells me not to live just sitting
Pada so she's like up there trying to get out of pan and she's like so tensly. How do you like this crew?
Hey and tens is like well like I think I have some issues with living with Sonya's. And she's like, well, like
anyone living together, like, like seriously, what would you do? Like give a credit because
I've murdered you. Like I'd kill you. Like that's my nest, you know, that's where I came
after everything started happening with Jason. Anybody lives in there? Like if you were
in my nest, I'd be like, you're a bird. And I'd push you out the window. And if you didn't
fly, I'd be like, you're a bird. And I'd push you out the window. And if you didn't fly, I'd be like, so what? Who cares?
Yes.
Bethany was definitely doing, basically treating Tinsley like one of her assistants,
Wassamata or what's going on.
Because she's doing that thing where she's grilling her with like a million questions,
but not really listening or paying attention.
She's like on her phone, she's going through cab and it's just like, yeah, so has a
sun yet, huh?
What'd you do it?
Huh? Huh?
I'd shoot myself.
I'll say I'd shoot myself. You've got to give a credit, though, for taking you in. I mean, you're like, you know, you're just like this 41 year old woman
All she has is a curl, you know a curling curling iron and a mug shot. You know what I'm saying?
But you know, it's great like brown eyes, huh?
You have a mouth of brown eyes. What's it? What it tastes like? I don't know back upstairs
Sony is like do you like this lipstick? Oh, that's not how you put on lipstick Sonya. Let me show you
Oh my god, that looks so good. It does right. Should we take it downstairs? Yeah, we should take that lipstick downstairs
So the ladies are hang out now they've now moved to the purple velvet couch room and
They've decided to start a fire because why not and so Carol she's like
I was a girl scouted a brownie so I could start a fire pretty easily actually.
I was just an attend with Adam's mother last week.
I understand, can't be.
Anybody want a tarot, Minesquiz?
So, Carol's starting a fire.
Of course, this is a great example of a city woman dealing with something that's vaguely
outdoors, even though it's a very indoor thing.
And everything that Carol's doing, Beth is like, you're hands in the fire.
What's going on?
You're hair.
You're going to ruin your hair.
If you have an adream, and you haven't got tens of curls, it's gone.
You're going to burn your hair.
Oh my god.
You got what?
You got what?
I can't.
I'll see if I were going to be around a fire.
I would just burn it up.
I would just be like a match.
I would just light me on fire right now.
Where's Jim Morrison? Like my fire? Just burn burn me to the Chris but I just want to die like I'll see if you ask me one more time
A lot of fire I'm just gonna die like don't put me on fire. I can't
I'm like oh my god brain he hand this in the fire brain. Oh my god. Do you hear me call her brain?
I called her friend your fingers in the fire brain there I did it again
Can you believe that like seriously? Why am I calling a brain? I don't even know. I don't even know
I want to call a brain but I can't because the monsters on the other way to the phone
They's gonna call me a bad mother. I don't want to talk about it
I don't want to talk about it. You don't understand fire fire brain fire oh my god
You're gonna hear your hair if it was Ramona and say watch your tits
So Luan walks in while while Carol's doing this the fire
I just love Luan. She's wearing her little first stole and she she comes in and she sees Carol and she goes oh
Carol's being the campfire girl
and she goes, oh, Carol's being the campfire girl. It's just so perfectly condescending.
I don't know Bethany, I don't know what pill Bethany just took.
I'm guessing it's a Tylenol PM mixed with her champagne and that are all because she's
like, Lorraine answers, she's like, hello campfire girls.
And Bethany's like, oh, hey, LeWan, I just wanted to tell you congrats.
And LeWan goes, you too.
Why?
Why congrats to me?
Well, because you're getting divorced.
I'm getting married and you're getting divorced.
And she's like, oh yeah, yeah,
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't say that
because like you have to take a skin of anyone I know.
And look, I apologize for last year.
Really, I think back to that night.
I don't look myself on that night.
So I come, sorry.
Okay, oh my God, brain, fire, fire, brain, fire.
Meanwhile, smoke is filling the room.
And Dorenda boxing is like,
did you guys let it fire in there?
Like I'm wasted 24 hours a day
and even I don't like fires in a fire place.
It doesn't work.
You know what I'm saying?
Little like codlers, you don't give them fire.
Well, let's go on to the Blue Velvet couch room.
Otherwise you'll get smoke and diventillationisms.
So let's see, they talk about, I mean, I love about
D'Aurinda is that she is so like effortless as a host.
This actually, she's very casual.
She doesn't freak out.
She's just like, okay, I'm gonna open up the window.
Like they're literally burning a fire in a fireplace.
That's gonna smoke them out.
And she's like, uh, whatever.
And she goes and she gets like a little bowl of water
and puts it out.
Like she's so like, this is a woman
who has experienced everything in this house
and has no, she's just, no concerns whatsoever.
She knows exactly how to handle almost every single situation
unless in a wall.
She's the one that has since she was a little girl.
She's like, my lad used to check the electricity back
to the house and the whole every inch of it. Yeah, I shall feed the animals outside. Like
she's just is on top of everything. You can't feed wild animals. Of course you can.
The kind of thing that they say. You're all here on to. So then the women are in
the now that they move to a different couch room, the women are talking to
Tinsley and Tinsley's obviously excited because it's like,
oh finally, finally I get to talk on the episode
and the Berkshire's.
And Tinsley's gonna be talking
about like two seconds of Bethany, it's like, yeah.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up
on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host
of Wonder
's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity
feud from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our
obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy
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innocent TikTok of Selena talking
about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's
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how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling
and how much of it is a carefully
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Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
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You know what?
You know what?
My instinct, it'll let me to the worst situation in my life.
Like literally the worst.
Like I'm literally an adjunct in a torture chamber, and that's because I went with my
heart, my god.
Like literally like I don't even want to be an adjunct in a torture chamber.
It's like I'm in an eminible story.
Like, well, also the King Arthur's Tale, except I'm like King Bethany, except the Queen, Queen Bethany in the dungeon god, like literally like I don't even want to be in a dungeon or a tournament chamber. It's like I'm in an eminible story like what else is a king Arthur sale except I'm like king Bethany except a queen queen Bethany in the dungeon like I can't
like I might be opposite of like you know Lion in the winter like I'm not up in a tower
I'm an in dungeon I can't like a winter Lion in the winter yeah because Timsy's like well you
know I just can't date someone that young and the one's like well that doesn't matter you
just go with your instinct. Well I ain't cause instinct almost killed me like seriously like
instinct almost like I went with my instinct
or my gut and it died. Okay. Okay.
Let me ask.
I grabbed your instinct magazine.
I'm a little like literally like the paper boy through the magazine. My head and I fell over and died.
Okay. Like I'll see like I'll never subtract that magazine again. Like why do I even subscribe to a gay magazine?
Why do I care?
My heart and gut instinct got me in a toilet bowl. And the man says, yeah, it's but you have a beautiful daughter and that happened for a reason
She's like literally I'm an attention and a torture chamber because like my god like my god said like go get tortured in a dungeon
Like literally like fuck my god, okay?
Like my god like like literally right now and yeah, no idea what I'm in through and like hopefully
Hopefully you'll never know like hopefully seriously literally you'll never know what I got through
I'm gonna be on the therapist office like literally like I like I hope you
never know like I see like I'll see like you know what you know what I need right
now I need you to like get me a nice pick because my basic instinct is terrible
like I'll see just like kill me right now open your legs and kill me right now
and it cuts the during down her testimony or whatever and she's like I think
looking at the situation that everything the battle is going through she's
emotionally I can't thanks to read that that's a sad which is also drunk I mean Everything the battle is going through she's emotionally
Thanks to read that that's a say which is also drunk. I mean she's definitely that drunk We know sometimes if you're going through shit and you get drunk and by sometimes it mean almost every time
And you're going through shit you suddenly have these whoa with me whoa with me moments
We're gonna like little you don't know what I'm like like I'm I'm hanging on by a threat like you may not realize it
But I'm hanging on by a thread not even a yarn like a piece of thread like it's like I'll say like if I were the cat I would have already dropped all right, but I'm not I'm skin on by a threat. Like you may not realize it, but I'm hanging on by a threat, not even a yarn. Like a piece of thread. Like if I were the cat, I would've already dropped.
All right, but I'm not.
I'm skinnier than the cat,
so I'm still hanging on by a threat.
Okay, so that's actually-
Don't give me those hallmark cards about guts.
Okay?
Don't give me hallmark cards about guts.
I'm like, there is literally no hallmark card about guts.
Yeah, she's saying this about the hallmark card.
She's like, what do you like?
What do you like?
I'm one of the trick guys,
one of those trick guys, okay,
with a hallmark card?
Okay.
What do you mean shoebox meeting, huh?
My instinct said,
got hallmark card, but the reality was like
maxing from the shoebox ratings.
Okay, it's like an old scary bitch who's literally an attention.
Like, is that what you bought?
Like literally, I wanted to get a home art card,
but instead I got one of those cards with like a naked guy
from 1992 when like a big bathing suit.
Like I can't, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
So Bethany is just starting to get worked up and crying
because really if Bethany's being nice to anybody,
it's because she's about to like start crying about her own problems.
And the way and and the way and is actually being really nice.
The man is like, yes, I know it feels like shit now, but it hasn't been a total waste
because you know, even though Jason is terrible and you're going through shit or you went
through shit because the way I thought it was in the past, you know, at least you have
this beautiful daughter and there's some good to come out of it or whatever.
And and that's what Matthew's like.
No, no, no more of the hot my cards.
And then Luanne's like, she tells us,
you know, there's a reason why the rear view mirror
is a lot smaller than the windshield.
Am I right, everyone?
I like to move forward.
I don't like to look at the bitches in the back seat.
I'm like, actually, it's so that you should see
the way I get to have a parking spot.
rear view mirrors are small so that you can still
see the road through the windshield.
You understand that, right?
That's why I never know if Tom's making out
with someone in the back seat.
I just don't look back there.
I don't even have a rearview mirror.
It's all windshield.
You know, I left the rearview mirror once.
There was a giant dinosaur trying to buy my car.
And I said, never again.
Bethany, I'm in the shit.
Like it's never gonna be done. It's never gonna be done, okay? You're heart, you got this shit. It's gonna be like, I'm never again. Bethany. I mean, the shit, like it's never gonna be done.
It's never gonna be done.
Okay, you're heart.
You got this shit.
It's gonna be like, I'm in hell.
And it'll never end.
My divorce party, I want to have a divorce party,
because it'll never happen.
Because like literally it's a dungeon.
And I'm happy and I'm rich.
And I've a daughter, like I get it.
Like a huge brand, like everybody knows who I am.
Like I'm a little clip art on drinks, you know,
like I'm making so many people happy.
Like it's amazing.
Like did I mention I'm rich?
And you know, I haven't done it.
Like I'm really happy. But like it's a disaster. And I mention I'm rich and you know, I haven't done it.
Like I'm really happy.
But like it's a disaster and you can never, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah You want to talk about lipstick and then to renders like
Ang damage from Richard, you know, my there was all that stuff with Richard and I'm damaged
I love jam but I finally had jumped to the next level of bold commitment
I'm gonna have a cracker and Bethany gets up and like slams the door to the pool room
She goes and she goes into the smoke room the room that had had been previously smoked out and she goes and she starts crying. And then of all people, it's Leuand. By the way, I mean,
before I say this, this is why New York City is the best, because you have moments where
someone is having like a mental breakdown, a drunken mental breakdown, and then you have
people like Ramona and Sonia, Waltzing and be like, good evening. I mean, it's the show,
the comic timing on this show is so
Perfect it's it's beyond compare. But anyway, so Bethany is now crying in the smokey room and so Luan goes to
Talk to her to be like I'm so sorry. I had no idea I thought you were out of the thick of it
Etc. Etc. And then this is when Bethany starts like just losing her shit and she starts crying and she's like
Bethany starts like just losing your shit and she starts crying and she's like I think I'm like a huge mistake. I do my heart my heart my heart my heart. Yeah, she's like turns it around. She turns it around
To be crying about herself to telling off Louam again
You're making a big mistake. I'm gonna let him on the wall.
I'm gonna let you on the thing is you're gonna get you.
But I like how she's like, I think he's cheating on you.
Do we not think he's cheating on you?
It's a little bit because, so why are you crying?
Are you crying about me or you?
And then it's because, is someone crying?
Or is it Tina with the door?
What is Tina always have to sleep outside? Someone let him in. My eyes are
crying. They're cheering up, but
that's because I'm so stuffed up
that the mucus has to come out
from somewhere. So in the other
room, Tinsley's like, why is
Bethany crying? And Carol's like,
well, because her husband harasses
her and he sends her emails and
he sends Dennis these emails and
they're so nasty. Romana goes I'm shocked
It's see it it makes me see it. They see it's yeah now. I feel mixed me sad
So then Bethany starts telling Louanne that she's like, you know, I'm going through your shit right now
And like no offense. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna share it with you because you know, I don't share it with anyone.
I'm not okay, I'm not okay.
I like Bethany, you, maybe you should start sharing with people
because you are a disaster.
And by the way, and God bless you
because this is what we need.
This is what we love when you are a train wreck,
the show like it goes to the next level.
But you really should start talking to people.
Please don't, please don't start talking to people.
Please get inside. So Carol, Carol is also telling us that like Jason,
one of his passive aggressive slash aggressive ways that he gets under Bethany's skin is that he always
calls her Bernadette, which is Bethany's mom, and as we all know, Bethany had a terrible mom or a
terrible childhood at least. So everyone's like, which is pretty nasty.
I mean, this guy is a piece of work.
And we always talk about like, well, Bethany knew what she was
having up for, but this guy is deranged.
I'm sorry.
So then Bethany is again crying to the woman.
She's like, I don't think your guy is a good guy.
I'm sorry.
Like, what's the matter with him?
What's the going on with him?
What's happening with him?
He's not a good guy.
I'm sorry. Bethany, did you call? It's me. What's the going on with him? What's happening with him? He's not a good guy. I'm sorry.
Anthony, did you call?
It's me, what's the matter?
You look beautiful, Anthony.
Fabulous.
So then, Ramona and Sonia are just like, for some reason,
they're just left alone in the room at this point.
And then they just start just giving themselves
affirmations, you know, they're just saying,
you know, we just laugh and have fun.
That's what we do.
We have fun. And so when you just go, I hate and have fun. That's what we do. We have fun and so when you just goes
I ate the whole thing of cheese. I feel great
What we say is something we said like we have so much fun like we don't have to be dressed up and
La teat dad like we're fine like we don't need to be a lot teat
Dodd and you know and certainly is like well in my mind we're the best rest also I ate the cheese
My mother always said you have to find your own cheese because you don't want to rely on a man to bring a cheese plate for you
Okay, I think Carol and Bethany are back up in the situation room their bedroom and Bethany's like oh my god
Seriously, what the fuck she's up to you pet troopers. I asked hold okay
I have to interrupt you here because I actually wrote this down
This is a direct quote because it Bethany
Was now out of her mind and for people who think our rants are like a little too ridiculous. This shows you how close our rants are to the real thing. This is what she said
Oh my god. I don't even know I can't tell you what happened. I have no idea. I went down. I walked I don't know I walked out of the room
I just got really upset. I got really upset
I walked, I don't know, I walked out of the room, I just got really upset, I got really upset.
She does talk like that, that is a direct quote.
Like she's up, the de-packed churpers asshole, okay?
I black out in the South, like I literally
don't even know what I said to her.
You know what, is that this time I wanted to be like,
you know what, shut up Bethany, really like shut the fuck up.
You know, is it so bad that LeWand was trying
to make you feel better?
Is it so bad that you know, you are like, you know, is it so bad that LeWan was trying to make you feel better? Is it so bad that, you know, you are like, you know, you're sitting
you're wallowing in a terribly, admittedly a terrible situation. And LeWan is basically saying, look, it's shitty right now, but it will get better, you know, and there are some good things to come out of it.
Like it doesn't make her some crazy wack-doodle-depock Chopra. She's just saying, yeah, well, you're in a bad phase. She's trying to be a good friend, you asshole.
It's like the most rudimentary support
someone can give someone to stop like shading her
for at least trying to be supportive,
especially given all the shit that you said to her.
And you've been saying to her,
and here you are saying that like her fiance
who she's marrying in two weeks is cheating
and is not a good guy and the man is still trying
to make you feel better.
Yeah, Bethany made the mistake of finding somebody that won't fight back with her
because everybody else doesn't and he's like, fuck you. And I don't even know what's going on
with them because she doesn't really talk about it. I know that she's like setting up this
stalker storyline and they've been like laying the pipe for that for a while. But here's for what
old Queen and Abar told me when I was visiting New York. Old Queen and Abar for those of you who
don't know is always our source because they can't say who it was.
But old Queen and a bar lives around the block from Bethany, from Bethany's Soho place or
whatever, and says that when Jason brought the kid home one day and was trying to carry
her in and Brynn was like, no, no, no, no, like having a fit. No No
No, like having a fit like please don't make me go in there
Oh shit which obviously could mean he's just brainwashing the kid to hate her or that it's terrifying
You know I mean could you imagine having Bethany or the kid?
I want to go to a toy store and he said no
You have to go home you can't go to a toy store and they can have tantrum so it could be anything
Yeah, it could be anything but I had to share it because like literally no one else in my life cares
So I had to tell you guys
Well the more important news is that downstairs the chickens have come out of the oven and they look delicious
Like truly delicious at a moment. It's like yeah, guess what?
There's a whole stick of butter in there. Okay. There's a stick of butter and they look delicious, like truly delicious. At a moment it's like, yeah, guess what?
There's a whole stick of butter in there, okay?
There's a stick of butter.
I prefer butter, okay?
You know what, what is that?
What is that?
And she's like, it's cranberry.
And it's like from a can and sliced up.
And she goes, what's your secret recipe?
Opede province, herbs, butter.
Whole stick of butter. Okay. And then Bethany is standing in the stairs trying to make herself go down to dinner, but she's still bitching to
Carol. And she's like, seriously, what are you? Confucius, you're living in a fortune cookie.
And I guarantee you, Ramona is going to come at me and like start talking about all this stuff and
be like, every Mario get off my teeth
Like she's inside my tea right now. She's like like a secret little pale inside a tea bag right now
Like she's sleeping right now my tea like literally get out of my tea
You know, I have a few things to say about all this first again, though
What are you Confucius loving an unfortunate cookie? I'm again, I'm like, you know again
You you don't seem to appreciate this. You're just trying to make you feel better. And what she's saying is actually probably right.
And second of all, are you confused?
So are you living in a portion cookie
that feels vaguely offensive?
I don't know why.
Third of all, she's absolutely right, though,
when she predicts what Ramona's gonna do.
I mean, it's actually amazing how accurate Bethany is.
Well, what was also amazing was I was eating Chinese food
and literally had a fortune cookie.
So I had two because it came with two. So I opened the first one. There was nothing inside.
It's like, that's not a good sign. And then the second one says, your dreams of glamour and
luxury will come true. Like, that's like literally never even been a dream.
I did not want to come to you. You're right.
Actually, Ben.
All right.
So then they're all getting this
chicken.
I mean, you can actually tell this
chicken is perfectly cooked.
If you can see it glistening,
then you know it's baked.
I was like, oh, this stuff is like
cranberry because one time I put
cranberry on my turkey sandwich and
it was unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Congratulations.
Congratulations. You're going on about cranberry. and it was unbelievable. Unbelievable. Congratulations, Barbara.
You're still going on about grammar.
Good afternoon, Thanksgiving.
And when Carol was crazy, this reminds
one time when there was a little girl.
I said, Dad, let's have two chickens tonight instead of one.
And then, Jolie and Parsamith came over and said,
No, it thanks, given. We turkey on Thanksgiving.
You stupid little girl.
And to this day, I've never been able to have the poultry I want on Thanksgiving I'm sorry I'm sorry
and girls like why isn't anybody sitting down with me I'm always in trouble for being late and I'm the first one sitting
but because you're supposed to make your own plate yes they're still there serving themselves lady and it cuts to Ramona again This at Ramona in this episode was prices the cut started against I took a taste. It's succulent
believable
And then she comes in with her plate into the dining room and she's so excited that some of the chicken juice sort of slashes off the plate
On to the chair. She's like oh, oh my god so much. I gave me so much sauce like she already
started to blame Durrinda she gave me so much sauce like the gravy the sauce
and I was like I don't think it's sauce it's more like it's like a chicken chicken
just it's a broth it's a broth whoa thank god she's right now it's like what
do I tell her now like don't be upset hey Durrinda Durrinda don't be upset with me
but I was so excited because you're chicken is so
Succulent, but then you put too much broth
Too much sauce and too much broth. I need some of John's stuff, okay?
Give me a John's stuff. I'm I need a real man to clean this up right now. It's on your chair
I'm sorry, I'm just like I don't worry about it, but there's not a big no, but I stained the chair
Don't worry about it. It's not a big
deal. But the chair, it's staying with the bro. She put too much on the, on the
circulate chicken. Okay. If I had to tell you one more time, don't worry about the
brawls of the chair during the, what if during the therapy moments again, it custody
during it. She's like something really is Ramona. She's jittery and I think it's making her intense suffice.
Okay, bro. This is crazy. Wow. They should make this into one of those game shows.
I carry the plate with the chicken broth and try not to spill sauce everywhere.
Okay. Be a great show. I would love it. I would watch it. I would lose.
I can't do her last. I would love it. I would watch it. I would lose
I can't do her laugh. I have a toast. Okay, to Durrinda We'd love you. We adore you. You're the best host
You make broth too much on people's plates. So it ruins your chairs. You don't even care
Like congratulations and girls like I haven't eaten chicken is so long
You know how they raise them. I'll show you a movie clip after dinner.
It's real bad.
It's dinner, like seriously? Like you don't hear me telling Adam about polvarizing cashews,
like seriously, just just chicken. Like who does that?
Like you don't hear me talking about like Chromecocks, okay? Like what about the 24 hour twats?
Okay, like we don't talk about that.
And they're a mohda. She goes and look D'Vrindah, like you cooked this nice meal
instead of taking us out somewhere nice,
so it makes it more special because you cooked it
and like there's no way there's,
and there's no like beautiful restaurant,
and there's no one to like bring us things,
but it's so special because you did it by yourself.
Yeah, during the end, D'Vrindah goes,
I love cooking.
And meanwhile, like your lady put the chickens in
and you got the cranberry sauce from a can
I'm gonna go in fact. I'm gonna have this again
Okay, like I'm gonna have a chance and again because it's beyond delicious like beyond okay
Let's go back to the kitchen and restart this because it's like so good. It needs to start over, okay?
I wish this were brown hong day, okay?
Every single day I get to have chicken splash the sauce or the broth all over your
chair, okay? I'm curious like, forks over knives.
So then Durinda, Durinda's like, all right everyone, we're gonna have a very
special little contest
whoever wins will fix the right number out of the hat gets the winner chocolate Santa
and so Ramona wins and like my one of my favorite moments of this episode when Ramona wins goes
yes because A3 loves chocolate Chocolate! Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, your chocolate sand? I want you doing beer funnels. Like, Bethany, you know what? Shut up.
It was like a forced joke.
And like, who would not appreciate
getting a big chunk of chocolate?
I'm sorry.
I'm not with that business.
Wasn't this shot around Christmas time?
What is Durenda doing with a fucking bunny?
It's like for the freezer for one.
It's chocolate Santa.
And so I thought it was a bunny.
Ramona was saying, I always send her a chocolate bunny
at Easter.
So this is great.
Because it's like a bonus chocolate oversized chocolate figurine. Okay. Well, this is crazy.
When I was a little girl, my mom would always say, here Ramona, here's a chocolate Santa for
Christmas. And then Geraldine Parsonsmith would take the Santa and throw it against the wall.
I said, no, because you're too fat. And since this day, I've never had a chocolate Santa,
but I wanna give it to Avery for the ones
that I never got to have myself,
except for the ones that I read on page six.
Mary, you took my Santa,
and I didn't even know until I read page six, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So she stands out to give another toast.
And Bethany's like, I'm outta here.
So she leaves.
And Dorenda, so that all like kind of go to the kitchen
and start taking their plates in and that's when
they're into like don't put the food in the garbage.
They're like feeding the animals outside.
And Carol says you can't feed the wild animals.
So of course I can.
And Bethany's like seriously. She's laying on also thick.
I can't like we've got D pack and the cray cray.
Like I can't even go out there like seriously.
I'd rather be in the dungeon right now.
Like what did I do to deserve this?
Bethany goes, you know what, Ramona's so fake.
She's like, the chicken is so second.
I'm like, fuck you.
I'm like, no, you fuck you, Bethany.
What the fuck is wrong with Ramona being drunk
and enjoying the chicken?
I'm sorry, Bethany.
I am just not, like maybe you're jealous
because you're the chef here
and you didn't make the chicken
and you're upset that someone else is getting some chef love here. But like, you know what,
like Beth, you're very smart. You're very smart. But in this case, I think you're misreading
the situation. Yeah, succulent. Fuck you. She's looking for anything to be mad at. Like, what
is it? Louis, I'm trying to make me feel better. Like, fuck you. Oh, did you think that you can
suck it in? Suck it in? Fuck you. Oh, you want to shock the Santa? Fuck you. I'm
during this like, who's playing this left-hand table?
She goes, Ramona, because everyone's a survey.
She's like, I heard you.
And then another favorite moment of mine, I think it was right here,
was that Durin to tell us in her confessionals or in her interview.
She goes, money talks, wealth, whispers, bad manners,
screams, and elegance is unheard completely.
And then it cuts to the way I'm going
Happy birthday to you
She's carrying got that flattened birthday cake and the rim because she's blowing out the candle she goes no way. Yeah, we'll just spit
Carol goes she's
spit. Carol goes, she's spit. There is no other show on
Bravo except maybe actually below
deck that has timing and and
from rules that is timing as
sharp as the show the editors, the
producers on real sauce New York
City. They are working on such
high levels. The fact that they
have to ring to say elegance is
silent and they cut to you know, the fact that they have Durinda say elegance is silent and they cut
to, you know, Luann, who wants family, she said elegance or whatever, like money can't
fight.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown.
She's a clown. She's a clown. It's in it. It's in it. It's in it.
Happy birthday, too.
Happy birthday, too.
I just, I will never forget the episode where Lou Ann is like, yeah, and I go to Rock and
Sushi and sing.
I'm like, this is the best thing.
We do like a whole hour on Lou Ann's set in the in the sushi place.
But I love whenever she sings.
And then Bethany, Bethany was so right.
Because then all of the sudden she goes
Ramona's right behind there and she goes all of a sudden. It's like a bat Ramona's on my hair
Because Ramona is like working your way around she's sitting on like Sony's laps or like a bat
Like a bath in Buffy like what am I?
Jealous I Said I said I wanted guac I didn't want to have guano like I'll say I can't
So then Ramona like leans over and now she's like drunk doing a drunk whisper apology and she goes
I know what I did hit you wrong, okay, and I don't want to apologize because I don't want to be known as the
Apologizer, but I do want to say I'm sorry because I love you and I want to make things good with you
Okay, great. I'm glad we have this talk. I apologize and I'm so glad you apologize to
Bye, and she's like okay. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. I appreciate it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Thanks. Thanks, Bat
Okay, thanks Bat go back to Cape Bat and
She goes that was the creepiest apology of the year.
The award goes to Ramona.
Like, that was like a creepy whisper wine breath apology.
Well, she thinks she is like banging apologies
and eating chicken, that's good.
Like, I don't get it.
Like, what's up with that?
Like, I don't get the brands, I get you to brand,
I get you to brand, I get you to apology.
Like, what's up with my card to that?
It's not even real home on card,
it's just like a generic, you know,
Kroger brand card. I don't get it. I don't like it.
So they cut into Durrinda's spit cake. And Luhans
like, we love Durrinda. Hey Durrinda, thanks for
being my pride to me. And because yes, we're
that we're talking about weddings, but no one's
invited, but Durrinda's. I'm Bethany.
Okay. All right. Let me sum this up for you.
Okay.
Adam was a chef at Luan's house,
who's possibly underage in dating family members
and Carol Stolher and is now Carol's lover.
Tom, like, Ramona had a play backgammon
when I had like two in the morning,
like at the rapper, I suppose he didn't have sex with him.
And he like literally is Sonya's ex-dick, okay?
Like literally.
And then last year, called the Wanna whore
in this very room.
So there you go.
None of us deserve to be invited to the Wants wedding.
There, I said it.
Lovans like finally someone gets me.
You know what, you know what, Bethany?
I've taken all back.
You're welcome to have my hair good after all.
So then Ramona's drunk and she starts saying you know she's just saying
I just want to say I love everyone you know I'm finally free of all that shit I went through okay
and I love my friends I'm sorry I love them they are classy they're not date class a okay. I'm cute girl. Go for me.
Wow, that's schmalsy.
She's like, who schmorts?
You.
Like Romona had to try and figure out what that meant.
And I love Romona's like, I love you.
And I love you.
And I love you.
Tens of you are new, so I don't really love you that much.
But everyone else had a level of law.
And then Bethany is like, you know what?
I'm not up for making a bullshit toast.
And then she leaves.
And then Ramona tells her to Renta.
I think we made up.
Daring to go, nah, she's piss you.
Not at all.
You know what you were?
You're like the stain on my chair.
You'll always be there,
but no one's ever gonna really like you.
But I'm succulent, right?
So Bethany's in the kitchen.
She's like, oh my god, that girl is on my jock.
Like, she's literally inside my jock right now.
Like, if I had nuts, they'd be like shrinking up into my jock, because like, that's how much, that's how much she's in my jock.
Her mother, meanwhile, on the other room, was like, what do I got it to?
Like, I said, I was sorry, but not apologize, sorry, but still apology, sorry.
Like she makes me nervous, okay?
Like if I were Bethany and I said,
like, okay, someone, yeah, pretend that I'm Bethany.
And somebody's like, okay.
She goes, okay.
I'm, I Bethany, that night, if it was your daughter
who heard about you having a plenocopia and
taking possibly an IF football team's worth of penises in your ear, and Sunday goes,
okay, well I appreciate that.
And then she walks away, like she totally stays in character, and then she looks back like
it's over, right?
Did I do it?
Let's do it, babe.
So then Ramona, after this rehearsal, she then pulls Bethany aside to the living
room and Bethany's like, all right, all right, there's a bathroom room.
Let's just like talk about it.
Let's just let's just get it out there.
All right, all right.
Okay, I want to talk about it.
And I don't want you to be defensive, but you're making that face again.
Don't be defensive.
You're making defensive face.
And you know, like what's this?
A bent face.
Like I make it to be fair to be fair
Ramona was making a face, but you know what that's not how you broker in open
Dialogue Bethany you can't say don't get defensive and then
Make make a pointed comment about someone's face just accept the face for what it is because there are a lot of weird faces in this house right now
Okay, I have a weird face anyway just accept the face for what it is because there are a lot of weird faces in this house right now, okay?
I'm reminded of a hassle-weird face anyway, even when she's like,
and you're seriously.
And you should know Ramona better to rather than say don't make that face, which is not,
that's not the language you use to try to like
have an open dialogue. It doesn't say I'm listening, it means I'm coming at you right now.
What you say is I just want to say this
Okay, and this is how I felt when you said this this is how I felt and this is why I feel this way whatever
You're making that face again. You're making that face again. She goes well, I'm expressive
Okay, I put my heart on a sleeve and like I'm emotional
She's what I haven't even said anything because what I'm just saying I'm emotional. She was, what? I haven't even said anything. She goes, what? I'm just saying I'm emotional. Okay. Yeah, fighting. And I've got nothing already.
Well, the thing is is so Ramona actually had a right to say that because when Bethany says,
don't make that face, she's, I'm expressive. That's who I am. Okay. And I can't even get a word
in naturalism. Like that's because you started this off on the wrong foot slash face because
instead of talking about what was really under mine mind You started talking about Ramona's face and she responded and now you're accusing her of talking over you
You've botched this Bethany and now you guys are I mean not that she cares because she doesn't care about Ramona
But she has botched it and now she's trying to make Ramona look like she's the crazy one and I love that in the interview
Ramona is basically like like you know like what am I supposed to respond She's like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about,
bitch. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,. And definitely is like, well, yeah, well, that's fine. But I'm in the past because like in the past, you're not a
good friend to me.
As you go, you're not a friend to me. Whoa.
Whoa.
Remotivated goes, well, you are not being good friend to me.
Either I'm like, well, so much for saying in the present,
Ramona, that took all of three seconds to go into Leuands,
rear view mirror.
Yeah, but that literally happened right now. Okay.
You're not a good friend to me right now in the present.
When you talk about my face. So yeah, so then Bethany is basically like, yeah, like you've been a bad friend to me and
you're not, you know, you're not good, whatever.
And that's what that's what her mother does.
Even more than what was in the preview, she was, are you kidding me, Bethany?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? I'm seeing that head like that, that shape that like violent I'd spill it on you because are you kidding me? You are not
Succulent right now Bethany and it's like to be
Try chicken
Try un-chocolate chicken. I'm sorry. You're messy, but to bring that put too much broth on you okay?
Oh my god what a great episode the Berkshire's is just the best.
So, so fun.
So fun.
So before we wrap up this episode,
we didn't do crap in spotlight.
Yes, right.
Normally we do it on Wednesdays,
but we're gonna do one today instead,
because we haven't done it in a few weeks.
We're still waiting for some people to send in their audio clips,
but in the meantime, we are circling back to Sarah Greenwood.
Oh, wait, we have to play the listener spotlight theme song, of course.
Oh, good, I'm, I'm, we're real completionists around here.
So anyway, so we're going to go back to Sarah Greenwood.
And Sarah, we heard from Sarah last back in February.
And now Sarah's going to chime in and tell us a little bit about the shows she watches, etc.
You all ready?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, hi, there Ben and Ronnie.
This is Sarah Greenwood calling again from Vancouver, Canada.
And this time I'm calling to tell you about my favorite bravo show that's currently airing.
This was kind of a tough decision, but kind of not because one of my guiltyous pleasures has to be hands down
Babadu
Southern charm. Oh my gosh. This show is so ridiculous. It's kind of like a real-life falcon crest of the South.
I can't even believe the storylines that have gone over the past few seasons. I'm kind of embarrassed to say
I didn't like it at first. I thought it was boring and waspy. And being from Canada, I knew nothing about Southern Charm, but with a little peer pressure
from my best lady friend, Sienna, I watched it again and saw the episode of Thomas discussing
that he doesn't like cocaine. He just lacks a smell of it that had me completely hooked.
My favorite part of the show has to be
your recaps every episode and your impressions of everybody.
Your land and laugh, your JD bourbon are so hilarious
that I can't listen to it in public anymore.
I'm truly missing the drunken outbursts of Catherine
from seasons before.
I'm sorry to say I don't like her sober. That's terrible.
I hate Shep. I think he's a grown man, baby. Gorsh. He needs to get a shit together. And I really
got a kick out of seeing him last season visiting Whitney in LA and how insecure and out of his
element. He was Whitney. My God, he's like a grown adult version of Damien from the Omen.
I wish I was Patricia. I wish I had a butler, but most importantly, I wish I had a calf down
with my dog's faces on it, because I would wear it every day for the rest of my life.
I don't have to explain why I like it so much. You too understand, your listeners understand.
It's just peer-redeculativeness.
So thank you for your amazing recaps.
They make me laugh so hard.
I love you too and I'm so happy to be on your show
for a second time.
So thanks guys, sending you lots of love from Canada.
Bye.
Oh, thanks so much for that.
Love you. She's so good with, she's so funny. She's so good with them. She's she's she's so funny. She's Sarah. You are funny.
Yeah, that's she, it's funny. When she compared when Sarah compared Southern charm to
Falcon Crest of the South, that's a really good that's a really really good, you know, comparison.
I like that a lot. I think that is what we just like that show because there are these sort of
comparison. I like that a lot. I think that is what we just like that show because there are these sort of over like these long sort of story arcs that are so be that build from
season to season. And I also think that's on charm is great. And I think it gets better
every season. So I'm with you on that. If you if you want to be like Sarah or many of our
other lovely people who have contributed to the crap in spotlight, if you want to be like Sarah or many of our other lovely people who have
Contributed to the crap in spotlight if you want to have your two minutes of glory on this podcast You go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends and you can support the podcast at different tiers
You can there's the there's the crap in the spotlight tier so keep an eye out for that
So the crap in spotlight tier or above we We've had, by the way, an influx of premium subscribers.
You may have heard them at the top of the show.
Thank you, everyone, everyone who's showing
them to be a premium subscriber.
We're actually running out of slots.
It's kind of amazing.
So if you want to be a premium subscriber, it's now a never.
So everyone, thank you.
Everyone who supports us at any level,
and even those who don't even support us. Thank you so much.
That was listening to Spotlight.
And we'll be back tomorrow to talk some Southern charm Savannah, which was pretty hilarious this week.
I feel like it's finally kicking into high gear. So I'm happy to see that. We're gonna dissect the whole thing
and I think we're gonna have a fun time. Don't you agree, Ronald?
Oh, hell yeah.
We will see you tomorrow, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.
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