Watch What Crappens - #477 SouthernCharm: Kiss From A Rose

Episode Date: June 14, 2017

The "Southern Charm" love triangle between Shep, Chelsea, and Austen comes to a fussy head this week after Shep allegedly corners Chels and tries to stick his tongue down her throat. We've got the controversy covered as we try to parse out all the information and make sense of it all. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Today's episode of Watcher Crap is brought to you by our Patreon super premium sponsors

Christy D'Aurite, Mia Hansen-Aloha, Madonna Heinz, Cindy Gersten, Kelly Barlow, and Jess Sayin. Thank you What happens when there's so much that crap ends? What happens? What happens? I have crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, happens for this so much that happens. To talk to other crapman's listeners about the shows as they air premium member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends that's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love. I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com and the banter blender and joining me is the always lovely and hilarious and just perfectly wonderful is the always lovely and hilarious and just perfectly wonderful person Ronnie Karam from trash talk tv.com and also the Rose Prick's bachelor at Rose podcast who may just have his hands full with all the breaking news over in bachelorville these days huh?

Lee! Oh hey, makes you sort of happy to come over here back to this podcast and talk about things like non-consensual kisses instead. Yeah, we did a little bonus for Rose Prax about that whole bachelor in Paradise Hitch. So that was depressing. And then I saved Southern Charm for today.

And Jesus Christ, then Catherine sobbing at a model place and I'm like what is happening to my morning okay. I'm supposed to have a fun job. Well first before we dive into our Southern Charm recap for the day we have to do some fact checking or fact revisions or whatever from yesterday's podcast because we made several errors and rather than just wait a whole week as the tweets keep coming to correct us Figure of my as well address them now here are the errors. These are non-offensive errors. Don't worry. We're not in trouble but for anyone who feels compelled to send out a tweet about this we're gonna cut you off at the pass We said great Falls, Maryland about a million times during the Potomac recap great Falsas in Virginia. So there you go and

Robbins t-shirt we made fun of Robbins t-shirt and Potomac for Saying something about like she's a diva or something like that, right? Devastated diva Devastated diva turns out that is like a t-shirt that devastated diva turns out that is like a t-shirt that it like a t-shirt t-shirt and a slogan that is linked to a historically black sorority. So who knew from DEL? It's still funny that Robyn's wearing it. Devastated diva. Ah, skewie.

Um, but yeah, that was um, I was surprised to learn that because I was not expecting that whatsoever. So there is a story behind that Delta Sigma Theta. She and Jazell are both part of it. So for everyone who wants to be like, actually, there's a story, we now know it. And then the third thing is Yester's episode took place in Bermuda. And so we actually got an email from a native Bermuda in Bermuda, Bermudian, who filled us in a few things about Bermuda, who says they are the oldest, the most populous British colony and are not part of

or associated with the Caribbean at all. Pastels are a thing there, so they love their pastels. America's Cup is a race, which I think we knew, and the Fairmont, which they stayed at, is one of the older and most well-known hotels on the island but they really should say that it's our point and also the leading re insurance and center of the world so look at all the stuff we learned from yesterday's public well look at that and hey while we're speaking of mistakes

let's talk about this guy who married can you more good luck with that buddy yeah Yeah, there's that too. Kenya more got married in St. Lucia, which is in the Caribbean, and there's no way associated with Bermuda. So there we go. I think we got all the other ones known as a long-term contract.

Kenya more. Good luck, oh buddy. Yes. So, why don't we mosey on over to Charleston, huh, for some Southern charm? What do you say? Let's do our being. I love this episode.

I feel like Southern charm was at a mild, simmer all season, and now it's finally boiling over, which is the way it is every season. And I'm here for it. Well, Cameron's doing the opening stuff as normal, the opening previously. And I love that she just can't let anything go. Because she's like, in the guy with left, when you sneeze, you lose.

I'm like, Jesus, you're still mad that Chef was asleep instead of coming to your goddamn real estate thing. Let it go. She's probably more angry that he's in vain. He's encroaching on Craig's story arc about sleep. That's like his own every season that he sleeps too much. He's like, Cheyap, like Craig have his sleep storyline, Cheyap? That's Whitney, the producer.

Uh, Cheyap, bro. We need to make sure the storyline lasts for Craigy Boy, my dear. Yeah, he please stop co-opting his, his sleep story line. Thanks. So the episode begins after Cameron does our thing. Um, we see Shep. He's cleaning up his house, which is full of beer boxes and models. He's like, gosh.

I need to get out of this house. It's a fucking fraternity. Gars. Oh my gosh. There's a phone between the couch cushions. Garish. Yeah. He acts as if it's just like the house is doing it to him. Like the ghost that live in that house just keep having rangers.

Rangers every single night. He also keeps saying, I don't even remember, which is such bullshit. Because if you remember to plug your iPhone in and charge it between couch cushions, so it doesn't get broken, you're remembering things. Like you still have a point in your brain that is holding on to responsibility, sir. Okay. That's my argument against you in court in case you got any in trouble for doing anything that night.

Well, when it comes to iPhones, we all are able to push out of our our drunkenness to make sure it's in as best possible state. And if not, then you have a cracked you have a crack the Lwendo accepts uh... iphone situation if i don't charge my iphone i can't masturbate to anything when everybody leaves cars so um... after that like opening montage you know we see land and walking charlotte and uh... then we go to the mom walking real alone. Oh, yeah. Is this dog park room or the... I'll never know, because it's never gonna be a website. I'm doing this walk with Charlotte on my own.

It's all mine. Oh, Charlotte, I just want to walk to the restaurant by myself for once. So, uh, Cameron, uh, she calls up Chelsea and, uh, she, you know, she's like, hey, what are you doing tonight? And Chelsea says, oh, I'm going to go help up Cat, Cat, Cat, and pick up out this one for her photo shoot. And Cam informs us, you know, I have been very impressed with Catherine and her recovery and also the fact that the public likes Catherine so I'm gonna be nice to her now. She's been making actual steps to please people on Twitter so I want to be in her corner. She is a

real contour to force these days. Cameron talking about responsibility while she's driving with her phone out. Young lady. I don't know if that you guys are the last town to get that law or what? I used to think that was the dumbest law ever, you know, not being able to hold your cell phone. But now that it's become law, I'm like, how dare you, mom? Well, sometimes those communities in the South hold on to antiquated laws a lot longer than they should You know, I know they just they just you know made it illegal to like hide a black person in your trunk to hold your phone for you in the car

So I guess we should give them some applause there So wrong so wrong And it's so the South you know, yeah, and as these shows go on and on and the racist stuff really starts to come out and people are getting so mad on the internet And I'm like, where have you been? Where did you think this took place? You really think Patricia doesn't collect like crazy racist art and all this other stuff that's going right on the internet? Like of course it is, it's the south. Exactly. And in case you forgot it was the south, we then see T. Rive going to visit JD at the rest of I'm in the bowtow right all right

Right around the right gentry and coke for the table please Caroline will be doing truffle flies truffle flies and shrimp Valentine Did you hear on a new law what you have to use your hands for your car? What is this world coming to? They even get the food network three years late. You know that the food network declared truffle oil as being like totally ghosts. Now, okay, JD?

They'll get that like three years later. Even the food, I didn't surprise the food network even knew what truffles were. And it was on like the food network Star I mean it was on some show like that or chopped or something where they're like Truffle oil over Like really you're like chopped I still really like Truffle oil and I don't care. I don't care

I stand by it. Oh well you found your town. I Well, you found your town. I Also, they do that thing where JD is standing way too close to his face. Yes, he's like Thomas Well back away Dude, I know I see every detail of your gin blossoms and that whole day drinking thing which I love He's like you want a little lunch? Did you hear truffle oil and Thomas is like no, but I'll have a little cacotella I have a cocktail JD my family We've always had cacotales not like the lime houses we have to Enjoy simple things like a tropical orange juice without black at the lime houses who want to drink cockatoules.

A bunch of cockatoules. They actually literally take birds, cockatiles, and they puree them up in a blender and drink them. They just barbarians at lime houses. A lot of the lime house. You've been warned. So they're talking about Catherine because Catherine is going to do this photo shirt with photo shoot with Kinsey and you can tell that both T-Rav and JD are less than enthused

about this idea. They think it's really stupid, but they're tolerating it. I mean, like, if you can't stand up for child labor in the South, where can you stand up for it? I'm exactly. Kids should have a damn job. Your kids wouldn't be out there doing drugs if they had to, you know, work at the bowling alley after school.

Yeah, exactly. So then T. Raft tells JD that he took land and for a walk and JD has a look of deep concern on his face, which is amazing because he doesn't often get that look of deep concern. Maybe unless it's like he realizes that he's hired someone to be his bourbon consultant who does no idea what bourbon is He's like well, yeah, they're gonna get him back with Catherine And he's like no, I need a real woman, which is why I went on a walk with land and and he said was that was that a real date? Was there grits on this date was ripped was it truffle or love this date all right all right and then we get a

clip of this other date where it's like hey I picked a I found this news PayPal and your doorstep here it is you. I found the book of poetry. You left me. He read it to me. Actually, that's my book of dick pics. We'll be used before we had cell phones. So you better hand that over, little lady. Thank you. Your OC, our class. See, dick run.

So Thomas like opens this poetry, but that he's obviously never read and starts going through it and he's like, I'm not gonna read this. Hey, uh, reminds me of eE comments, reminds the eE if you know what I'm saying, huh? And JD's the first one to be like, well, of all the people in the universe Catherine may not be too excited about here and about you and Landon. Well he actually goes technically JD goes. Catherine has been Landon's greatest supporter. What not.

And he says don't buy any rabbits. I didn't hear him say that. Yes. It's kind of funny to think of T-Rab dating 1987, Glenn Close. Yeah, I know she's way too age appropriate. I'm a little too sane. And also had a job as I recall. I'm a little too sane. And also had a job as I recall.

Well, I do like a lady who's gonna cook me a meal. Listen, anything works with little ketchup. You know, I was traumatized by fatal attraction because they filmed it at my elementary school. And they had a raffle for all the kids to be extras and I swear to God I was the only one in my entire school that did not get picked and everyone on that Saturday was like are you gonna go be in fatal attraction or you be in fatal attraction I was like no I'm not gonna be in fatal attraction and then I tell my mom don't worry

mom someday I'll be a star which was probably the first time that she knew I was gay and then later on I met let it close like 10 years later I told my mom, don't worry mom, someday I'll be a star, which was probably the first time that she knew I was gay. And then later on, I met Glenn Close like 10 years later, I told her that story and she laughed. And for some reason it really, it's it helped me because I was like Glenn Close is here for me right now, but I don't think I've ever truly gotten over it. I don't blame you.

Also, what was it about you that they just didn't pick to be an extra unfatal attractive? I would say Jewish. Jewish and gay. Well, welcome to Savannah. Alright, let's skip over to the next recap. So, so now, be your thing in a big racist talk.

Well, I understand that that's a really bad epithet, but you know, I wasn't picked to be an extra in fatal attraction because of Jewishness. No, listen, I appreciate your apology, but it does not take back the raffle to be in fatal attraction, so please, that doesn't make up for you not being able to see me behind Gwen Closest shoulder. So if anyone is casting fatal attraction to, which is probably very likely these days in Hollywood, I am available for extra work, okay? Okay, you don't even have to do that now.

It's like the world has changed so much. You don't have to boil a bunny. We have the internet now. We can ruin each other's lives and without even leaving the couch, really. Yeah, that's true. Reminds me, I have to watch that cat an I go movie anyway, so you know that new one You have no idea she gets thrown down the stairs right she's like the glen close does she yes

I think she's I think she's the what they always get thrown down the stairs don't they and then they're like oh We got them and then they're like so they're getting up. Yeah, it's a great. It's a great movie trope. I love it so Now we go to land in whose dad has come to visit. It's his like, his obligatory appearance for the season, and they go on like a little drive, and she's like, Yeah, the websites really coming together with a head-to-ring name. He's like, what do you think of Orbits?

Well, since we're sort of near Bay, I thought it could be like eBay. I love how her dad shows up and he's like knock knock. Hello, Landon. Thank you. You're with me. What could be better? I could still be in key ways. Yeah. There she's talking about the website.

He's just like looking at the website. He's just like looking at the website. I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, what's the name of the website? I'm like, I could still be in key West.

There she's talking about the website. He's just like looking out the window mournfully. They drive over the Ravenel bridge and he's like, this bridge could have been yours if you just played your gods, right? A website you could have had the side of the town square. So he's got plans for her. She thinks she's just going to see one of his real estate deals and, you know, like party. Swamp, yeah. Spend father-daughter time, but they go over to this land that he's developing and he's like, I have plans for you.

I need someone here every day because I'll be in Atlanta. And the commission on this is 100 grand. And she's like, this is a line. I mean, I'm not I was just, you know, I'm making a living through this website. And like for the first time. And I like doing myself. It's like the first thing that I've done. I'm going to walk Charlotte. Now, I don't know if anybody else heard eyebrows on the other side of Tam throwing glasses against her wall, but I don't know who the fuck Laman thinks she is thanks to doing that alone.

Yeah. Yeah. I browse is like I haven't been to the Threader in years trying to get this website done for you, bitch. How dare you? I have spent so many hours trying to give Windsor not to name this site GMZ.com. Okay. This is not a solo effort. Well, I just game up with the names of the West Air. So the dad's like, well, hope doesn't pay the bills. Yeah, he's like, I've always encouraged you to dream, but you got to pay your bills too.

She's like, I know just random hope doesn't work, but what if I hope you pay my bills? Hope.com. Is this swamp hope worthy? Oh, lantern. So she starts going into this hole. This is my dream and I can't believe it. Because, you know, of course it would be easy to take a job for my dad. I'm married, Thomas, but that's giving up on myself.

I'm romantically. Not that Thomas deserves much better, but that's giving up on myself. I'm romantics. Not that Thomas deserves much better, but that shit is hilarious. Yeah. I hope that you guys can bet on me. That is like the worst bet. That's like what betting on like double zeros under that. Can you even do that? I don't think so. Yes, you bet on the double zeros and then you watch your money just go away.

Yeah, but then when it when it does strike, it hits really big. So I guess that's the that's the the problem with that logic. Yeah, I don't see orbit way fair dot com or whatever the fuck it is. Like hitting gold, but what do I know? I'm bringing back ask Jeeps. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, he's still with us. the fuck it is like hitting gold, but what do I know? I'm bringing back Ask Jeeps! Hehehe! Yeah? Actually, he's still with us.

Hehehe. Cooper? Is that you? That's right. I've been doing Ask Jeeps cosplay for a year waiting for someone to notice, but they just keep harrant me to do things. The trick is, you can only ask Jeeps if you do it with a member of the opposite sex. Just that.

Hehehehehe. I will not give an answer to a male. Ask Keteronormative Jeves. So then we have Cam, who she goes over to Shep's house and lets herself in as usual. And he's just like sitting on the couch reading Jack Reacher. And she's like, Shep, you're reading a book? He's like, Garsh,, she's like, gosh, yeah, reading gosh letters.

Sometimes I surprise even myself, gosh. So there it is. She's, what are they talking about? I wrote down everything, speaking of ladies. She's like speaking of ladies,

I saw Chelsea, you know, she looks so hot. You know, and she's also so cool. She's hot, yeah, cool. Because she's Cameron is, she's trying to fix Shep's life. So Shep is saying that he needs to move to the beach because he needs some buffer from all the temptation of downtown, unless it's cheerleaders, you know.

And so he's trying to get his life together as if moving to the beach is really gonna solve anything. And so that's when Cam starts talking about like Chelsea and like she should really You should really be seeing hang out with Chelsea and he's like gosh, huh? Isn't she dating Austin and she's like, I don't think so. Yeah, I don't think so And here's what you need to do next time you see her you need to grab her by the arm Hold her out of back door slimer up against the wall, and say, you are everything to me, Chelsea. I don't think so. I don't think that's how it works.

I guess it is. Well, that's non-consensual. I don't care. That's what women like. It's like, non-consensual. Did you learn nothing from dirty dancing? Did you learn nothing from dirty dancing? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownalder, we will be your resident, not-so-expert-experts.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondering app. Can you do a lift? Non-consent by proxy this show. Yeah, Cameron's like the villain. She doesn't even know it. Yeah, it's. She's forcing her Emma agenda way too strongly here. So you know, you know, chef is like,

gosh, okay, I guess. Gosh. He's like, well, I just think that we're both in the same place. He's like, no, we're not. We are, chef. We're both in a point in He's like, no, we're not. We are, Chef. We're, but it's not pointing alive where we're happy. He's like, I'm not happy. Yes, you are.

No, I'm not. You're just scared of, you're just scared of getting hurt. He's like, I'm not scared of being hurt. I'm scared of hurting other people. I felt nothing for anyone in a long time. I mean, how? She's like, no, you're perfect. They're Chelsea.

Like this guy's basically a psychopath. He's telling you he's a psychopath. And you're trying to set him up with your best friends. What the hell? I actually thought it was like, it made me sad. I mean, it was sort of a sad sentiment. He was, he for a moment their ship seemed like he was just kind of, you know, tapping into like some sort of deep state there, you know saying

He knows you know her people he and he wants to get he would rather get hurt So he could feel something in his sad aimless life and I was like ooh Somebody hold me to close So Thank you pat patty the phone We're bringing being alive and patty lip Yeah, he's if he ever does kill somebody cam's gonna be one of those people like I never saw coming He was so nice. I mean he just told me that he doesn't feel anything and that you know

He's afraid he's gonna hurt someone. It's gonna be like a man. Poor shepherd. Poor ship. Stop this. So then I had to watch this on my Apple TV this morning because direct TV my receiver didn't record it for some reason. They said it was canceled because of preferences as like what preferences what possible preference could there be other than Southern charm right now or not even recording anything else there's nothing else on TV I was so mad so because I watch it on Apple TV I couldn't fast forward through the commercials and the very nice commercial that came up

right after this was this horrifying thing about meningitis and it was like this mom looking over her dying son with meningitis. It's like this all could have been fixed if only he had used DREAMENBA and I was like it was such a horrifying commercial. I'm still traumatized by it. I don't remember. She's a member of itting. Yeah.

God, if anyone's going to give somebody meningitis it's gonna be shit Yeah, exactly and they were showing this is how you could get meningitis from sharing a kiss or a drink or even a Spood I was like so everything we see on Southern charm. They're all gonna get meningitis now. Yeah going outside You know truffle oil Drip and grit food networks star watching food networks are will give you meningitis Both ties indoors and the daytime. Yeah, well, you know It really made me it makes me want to just lock myself in my apartment and just Just curl up on my Casper mattress, which is funny because guess what Casper mattresses are sponsored today

Did I mention that? Hey guys? Oh, they are no they are you guys in that. Hey guys. Oh, they are. No, they are. You guys. Casper. We love Casper. We do these ads all the time. And you know, we could go through all the usual point talking points about how the, the Casper makes a premium mattress and sells it online for a fraction of what it would cost in a store. Okay. And how their business works by continuously developing their mattress using feedback of nearly half a million customers. And the fact that real customers have said that the mattress is like sleeping on a brioche, which I can confirm and like being cradled by the tinkling of baby left or in the moonlight,

you know. But here's the thing. I have one of these damn mattresses and I see on it every single night and I don't need to give you talking points to tell you that it's awesome. It is so good. I love that. Yeah and Casper's really gotten out there. I see a lot of things online of just my normal friends outside of this obviously.

Like hey, what kind of mattress should I get? Everyone's like Casper! Like they've really grown this Casper. You know and rightly so. Yes and our friend Angie just recently bought a competitor and she was like, yeah, they have a foam layer and supposed to not get hot, but they lied. It gets hot. I was like, well, guess what? The Casper doesn't get hot. Yeah. And how dare you? You're supposed to be a friend of this podcast. Do not come up

to me as a supposed friend of this show and say, I just bought a competing mattress. Who does that? Like, we're not telling you about some bullshit on the show hot layer as results that's right and g recalling you out in your hot layer yeah hot layer you deserve that hot layer that's your karma okay who was a cucumber in my ice cold caster which is super comfy because the caster is an obsessively engineered mattress it is shockingly fair price. It's just the right sink and just the right bounce.

Two technologies, latex foam and memory foam that come together for better nights and brighter days. There's a risk-free trial and return policy, so try sleeping on a Casper for 100 days with free delivery and painless returns and guess where they're made in America. Hell yeah. Okay. So you guys know the deal, right? You get $50 towards any mattress purchase by visiting Casper.com slash crap ins. Casper.com slash crap ins.

Casper.com slash crap ins. And if there's ever some sort of promo code you have to type in, guess what? It's crap ins. Oh my God. Crap ins. Terms and conditions apply now. Get over there and get yourself some sleep.

Yes. Please. I feel like they should be putting these in the below deck med episodes, because those are all about maps. Yeah. I don't think sleep is. Yeah.

You know, Captain Sandy would be a great spokesperson for Casper. Oh, she sure would she sure would I'll tell you that much She would love all that rest back in back in Savannah Mm-hmm. Chelsea and Catherine they're getting ready to get some clothes for Catherine some modeling suits and The Catherine's like well. I'm in a new age bracket now between party girl and fun mom. She's not like, well, it's not happy about it. She's like, now I have to market myself as I'm like, I'm a fucking J crew bitch. And I'm not a J crew bitch. Sorry. I don't know what else to say. It is nice to see the real Catherine shining through.

Yeah, sometimes, you know, because she's like, I'm not, I'm sober. So for her to just get frustrated and be like, I'm no fucking J. Creabitch. Sorry. Yeah, I like that. It makes me happy. What sort of bitch do you think she is?

Um, I think she's exactly what she's going out for. I mean, I think that that that model agent really knows her. I mean, she is a party mom. Like that's literally why she's in trouble. So I think she she pretty much called it. That's true. So so Catherine is shopping with Chelsea and Cameron. Cameron comes along too. And I like Catherine's just like, um, you didn't want to have anything to do with me for like two years forever, and now you want to, um, okay. Yeah, she's like, whatever. And Cameron, of course, is as fake as possible.

She's like, Hi, Miss Model, Hi. What are you, a model? Oh my God, you're a model, I know a model. Can I get your autograph? And Chelsea's like, well, she just happened to be in the neighborhood. She was just in the neighborhood. So we thought we'd try to find her some crappy ass romper

that we can just pretend to lie for a second, just get on camera. And then Cameron not able to help herself is getting champagne. She's like, should we offer Catherine some alcohol probably not? It's probably she probably doesn't want that right. We don't want to send her back to rehab, right? I saw and Chelsea's like, well, we should green confirm over. She goes, I'm going to live my life. She's made up for her decisions. You know, I had to deal with her crazy and she can deal with mine. So Chelsea gets her back because she's like, hey, Cameron, you know, I think you should do a six for the shoot for Jason before you get pregnant and your body goes to shit.

You might not bounce back. I feel like Cameron will be just fine. She's like the same for 15 years. Yeah, she'll probably like pop a baby out of her elbow or something crazy. Like keep her body just fine. Yeah, she's probably already like nine months pregnant, okay. It'll come out like a little bean. It's like one of those things that put in water and it expands.

Yeah, it's like one of those girls who goes to prom and has a baby in the toilet. And they're like, I didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't know I was pregnant, Shaap. That's her new MTV show. The story is that people tell shop about being pregnant. And she'll be like, and you're the father and he'll be like, I didn't remember, gosh. Gosh.

I was in the neighborhood. That's what the baby says. Well, I was in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd come out. I went, like, like, like, like, like, like, at my cord, please. Like, so they're gonna have some party whatever cam tells Chelsea She's like well, I didn't tell you about ship. I went to his house the other day because he was late for this house view

And then he was passed out and I said, shape this is serious I'm like is that how you're going to woo Chelsea over to team ship because I don't think I think that's a very effective tactic Talk about how Ship was sleeping is a 1 p.m. And it's the pile of bureaucrats and dip Yeah, I'm at least Chelsea finally said something later this episode because I was like you're not You're not being a very good friend. Yeah, so next step Austin picks up Chelsea from the salon. She's like what you do today You've been working not working Working like work not working for work work work not work

Work and work work mark. He's like well. I was working well. That's good Like these two are some fucking fascinating couple They're sort of like Berternie He kind of looks like Bert without the eyebrows. I would you're no good good or bad bad with a good good bad bad bad. He's good bad. Oh I tried not to work you know I wore I wore extra big flip flops today is that way that sent me home early. Then I think I want to introduce you to my parents. She's like great. And then Chelsea starts telling the story which is

that the night before because apparently they all went out to the Commodore the night before and Chelsea said that she up to something weird. He apparently grabbed her arm and was like, hey, I want to talk to you up back. They went out back and he just went in for a kiss and he tried two or three times. And Austin is like, so he grabbed you? He grabbed you? Are you so he grabbed you he got grabbed you or you think he grabbed you It's like well, yeah, I'm gonna try two three times

Rob when you were inside I'm in that some kind of no Yeah, I'm and then she says you know that apparently she've told her Garsh everyone knows you and I have so much chemistry and you and Austin are such a joke. Gosh. And then apparently she grabbing you when he said that. And apparently shepp really also liked, I'm, Shepp also was telling Chelsea how Austin and Landon seemed like they have real chemistry and they're always hanging out and stuff like that.

So this was really pissing y'all Boston. Yeah, but see, she really got him with this one. Cause she goes, he's my smooth beard like I'm not even about what you do when I'm not around with land in. Is there something with you and landing? And he's like, up, up, like landing, like the house of Prairie, I don't think so. I think he's been dead. You're so crazy, Chelsea. How would it have him, right? He's like, how about I have it, I have it, I have it, I care the abit, care the abit, like totally stuttering. And he's like, that really makes me, I'm trying my

heart is not to blow my lid. And she's like, well, I'm not blowing it. So you better figure it out. So he's like really mad now, but I think she got him. I think Shep has something with this landing thing. I don't know. What I think is funny, I'm not saying this in a sort of way to excuse what Shep did, but isn't it funny how if this were a romcom, what Shep did would have been the romantic gesture, the guy who's just like, I can't help it anymore. I love you. Like kisses are behind the bar, you know, and like the guy, like the bill Pullman's inside, you know? But in real life, it doesn't work out that way.

In real life, it's kind of rapey. Yeah. In real life, the girl pulls away and is like, yeah, you can't do that. He he he he. Like the whole 80s romcom thing is dead. Yeah, exactly. They're gonna stop even putting those things at like while you were sleeping

are you fucking kidding me? No, that is called rain. And we are pulling that from Blackbuster vision. While you were not consenting. So, um, so sorry, there's all this non consent talk. It's been my whole week. Did you consent to this discussion today? I did not consent to this consent talk all week, okay people. So then we cut to Craig and Austin getting up here that night. And Austin immediately downloads Craig on all the gossip and Craig like wow you know Shep's sort of a shitty person so that's you know that's what it is. Yeah Craig is just riding this one. He's loving this.

Yeah, he is like embroidering faster than you've ever seen him before. He's like stitching all the news. He's gonna send, he's gonna send Naomi like an embroidered note with all the gossip on it. So I made a pillowcase, SSP, chap shilly person. By the way, now might be a good time to make a digression and talk about the fact that Craig was on Watch What Happens Live last night, which I didn't watch, but I watched the clip I guess of the after show where Sonia Morgan was on there. Did you see this?

Uh-uh. Sonia, so the guests were Craig and Bobby Moynihan from SNL and then Daniel from Southern Trump's Savannah was the guest bartender. And I guess Sonia was in the audience or backstage or whatever and she was drunk and she came out and she was sitting on a stool next to the bar and she is just drunk and just saying all these things. The clip is 13 minutes long. It was hilarious but after 6 minutes I was like I've had enough so I stopped.

But she was chiming in and she was like, I think Naomi needs to relax. I think it's great where you're doing the pillowcases. I just got to you. You know? She was really defending Craig. And finally, someone who understands me. And Andy Cohen was like both totally amused but you could tell like the control freaking him was going nuts because at one point someone called up and

asked Bobby Moynihan if he stole anything from SNL before he left and then Sonya is like you should steal something from this set. And Andy goes like no no don't steal anything from the set and Bobby Moynihan's like oh I'm gonna take this and he's like oh there's all this stuff. Go take all of it. You can take all of it. Don't worry. And Andy's like, no, no, no, you can't, you're not allowed to say take anything. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, so yeah. Good. I'm glad Sony is back back as a drunk five and die making you think you being some you mean. So Whitney enters this bar and he's like, Hey, buddy, Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. Hey, bro.

No, it's for us. A ride. He's so creepy. So Austin is just telling each person as they enter basically what, what what chapter. And then we get a big old slice of Neanderthal Neanderthal hotness bow bow bow bow I think we've seen bow before but I feel like this is truly in evolution in evolution charts. I mean he is a Neanderthal. He goes back you know centuries. He is the basis for

humanity guys. It's called evolution and, his that cave man cleaned up good. Rar bow bow bow. Just truly wonderful. I was really happy. You know, he's not even normally my type. But I was like, Oh, we need more bow on this show. He's the father of humanity. And I love him in a nice little, in a nice little, you know, cotton collar pullover. He's got like a little bit of like a, like a, like a, like a little belly there, just a little bit, like a little beer belly, but somehow works.

Yes, girl. He'll grab you by the hair and just drag you into a cave. And he was like the nice one, but, you know, he can be, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, that if he pulls Chelsea into the back, he's a guesser. He's gonna seal the deal. Yeah, she'll be right in that one. He's bringing the rom-com back. He'll seal every time any girls around him, they just like take a sharpie and write consent on their forehead. They're like, I consent. As men are allowed to be making these jokes, I'm not sure. Well, that's what this is. I mean, chef. Oh my God.

So yeah, here comes shop. He will work. Come and then he's like, oh, gosh. I know those girls over by the bar. Like a chef, you're not helping your case. two 20-year-old blonde sorority girls in Austin's like will surprise surprise with this mouth moving like Like sent you know miles a minute or whatever. Yeah, and Seps like oh well, I guess that Austin has the moral high ground now that he's like kind of sort of dating somebody and Crackers. Oh sounds like jealousy bro yes so now the confrontation begins and Austin is basically telling Shep by this is what I heard what what happened I heard you pulled Chelsea into the back and tried to kiss her and she was like was that

wrong gosh it, which test? Who was the test on Derby have to see if she do it? Also, Austin is doing this thing where he is talking to someone waste Marta than him. So he's trying to use words. He doesn't understand. And it is hilarious. He's like, well, Chelsea regaled me with a regatta.

She regaled you the regatta in a regal Rangoon style Rigatoni dish So many good ones in this scene and Craig is like yeah, well you tried to bang Naomi first time I brought her over and he goes yeah, yeah, I did So it's interesting here with chefep, before we go further, because there's more stuff obviously that he says. So his first instinct to say was that wrong.

It was not what I was expecting him to say, and I almost liked it as a response, except for the fact that it felt sort of skinny, but I kind of liked that he actually owned it. He's like, yeah, so, yeah. Because, but the problem is that he didn't stick with that line of logic, and we'll get back to that line of logic later.

But, you know, that line of logic works. And this is where he's in. That line of logic was actually not, I was actually surprised at how not black and white this was. I thought going into it, I was like, oh, it was sharp, you really were like a pig. And then as it went through, I was actually surprised at how not black and white this was. I thought going into it, I was like, oh, shut up. You really were like a pig. And then as it went through, I was like, you know, there's actually some more gray

areas to this than I than I expected. But that being said, when he said it was a test, I was making sure on your behalf, I was like, oh, no, no, that's bullshit. Don't you can't do that. That's bullshit. Yeah, but the last episode he went over to Chelsea's to hang out and they talked about it. And she said very clearly, well, we're not really dying. We're just hanging out. You know, we're still free to do what we want to do. We don't blah, blah, blah. She went out of her way to say she's single. She can do whatever

the fuck she wants to. If he texts her too much, it makes her feel like she's being tied down. She's out of there, this and that. And then she acts like it's crazy that he would put a move on her and that he was doing something wrong to Austin. Now, I think that he was doing something wrong to Austin. He obviously, well, his opening line, which is that, well, now that you're in a relationship you have the moral high ground, it's a concession that he knows they're not data, not just, I mean, not they're not, like, just casual, you know?

I know, but she can't have it both ways. One minute, she's saying, no, we're just hanging out, we're friends, we're friends, we're friends. And then the very next day, basically, I don't know how this was shot. She's like, I can't believe it. Where would they even get that out of there? Well, admittedly though, admittedly though, I mean, I can't believe it. Where would they even get that on there? Well, admittedly though, admittedly though. I think everyone in real life, it's like, okay, they may not be dating, but they're hooking up and they're at a bar together. And so for

Chef to pull that move, yeah, chef is like, it's like, it's balsy. It's a violation of bro code. And maybe it was a attempted a souping romantic gesture, but yeah. So Shep was, Shep was wrong. I'm just surprised I don't hear anybody saying that Chelsea's like totally full of shit that she's telling him that when he asked her flat out, you know, but yeah, Shep's gross and he was wrong. And especially when Craig's like, yeah, he checked, tried to fuck Naomi and he's like, yeah, yeah, I did.

And then he goes, he goes, Craig, I'm no the theory. Okay, my friend and Craig goes, you think I fucking know what that means? I'm in the, the music goes, boom. I just wish Gizmo had been there to hear it because he would have reacted hilarious. So I guess most faces always like that. He's just like, I guess most like if you had woken up before 1pm, we could have gone over our daily vocabulary. So Chef goes, well, you were sending text to land in and Austin's like, yeah, well,

so what? So I send her a text and he goes, yeah, we'll have lots of girls I text randomly. You know, and if you tried to kiss one of them, I'd shrug. You know, everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too. Yeah. I think he even said that he facetimes with land in, but he barely even texts with Chelsea, which is I think even more why it's like, huh, you know, it's a little weird, right? Yeah.

Yeah. It's all weird. Whitney is trying to calm things down, but you know, in his stirring way, he's like, yeah, it's all weird and Whitney is trying to calm things down, but you know in his sistering way. He's like, well, I think what they're saying is that this it just junks your mother. You're overreacting. And Craig's like, well, someone would say if you had an inkling of what was going on, you'd move on. And then chef jumps on that and makes kind of a decent point when he's like, well, I liked her first.

Yeah. Well, but you were the one who didn't move, well, I liked her first. Yeah. And you were the one who didn't move on. And I even confronted you about it. And then so we see that, you know, little arguments. Two things about that. So first, I think Craig actually has the most realistic response when he says that there's even an inkling

of relationship you go onto the next one. And I think ultimately at the end of the day, that's probably what Shep should have done. You know, but sometimes my mailness gets the better of me. Yeah, so, but, but however, even though I think that's what, I think Craig, Craig's point is the most salient point. I thought when Shep turned the tables on Austin said, gosh, wait, didn't this happen first on your side?

I was like, ooh, that's like a good point, you know? And it's not to say that like Chef Owens Chelsea or Austin Owens Chelsea, but that was, it was sort of an interesting point even though Austin and Chelsea are far more developed than Chef Ever was with her, which is Austin needs to be remembered. But Austin's response to that was, was like,, well, you know, I felt remorse. I felt a huge amount of remorse. Shepp's

like, I didn't even have to, I didn't get to even hear it from you, gosh. And if we aren't dating, I shouldn't have to say we're dating, you know, like I shouldn't have to say that. And he's like, well, when someone kicks me over and over, uh, oh, then that's's when she's like, yeah, but then someone kicks me over and over to go after her and it's calm, you know, and like, if I don't know, like, what do I know? You know, like, it's her fault, like it's her fault. Like she was telling me to do it, gorge. And then my wellness got the better of me, gorge. And Austin's like, well, you forcibly, and he's like, oh, please now, please. I did not have to force her to come outside with me.

And now before we get into the forcibly stuff, I wanna go back to the camera and stuff now. I'm on back in everything, Ronnie, every line. It's okay, yeah, go. Because I thought that actually this was Chepp's strongest point. I thought when he said, listen, because Chepp was the one who was based, had been kind of saying, I think that said, listen, because he, she up with the one who was

bass had been kind of saying, I think that she, I'm pretty sure Chelsea's with Austin, I'm pretty sure. And, you know, Chelsea was like, what was, was down playing at Cameron's like, no, she's not with Austin. You should go after, you should go after her. You know, that, that, those are confusing signals, you know, and like he should have been bright enough to realize there was something, but I also feel like there's maybe something unspoken here, which is that maybe there was a producer in his ear, or maybe there was like talk of like, this would be because it's storyline if you go up for Chelsea. I mean, it's not, I understand that, you know, here I am, making excuses for his bad behavior, willing to give him context.

So I understand that, but it is a reality show and it's not an implausible thing. So I feel like I really don't think Chups should have done it, but I think his strongest offense was like, look, I didn't know what we got and I had a camera and every single day a pestleman do it so I thought, okay, I'll give it a shot. Like why not? Well, then her point later is like, yeah, I did tell him to go for it, but I didn't tell him to go for it like a child. I mean, I could have asked her on the date or, you know, been an adult about it and he acted like a damn idiot.

But also chefs have been jealous the whole time. And the only reason he got interested in her again was because Austin had her. Yeah. And I mean, even in this scene, he's like, yeah, I did try to fuck your girlfriend Craig. It's like he's just kind of a gross jealous fuck. And we've seen it season after season. Whenever he gets pissed, someone gets the girl, even that Chelsea ballerini picking Craig get the auction over him and he had a fit. So whatever, whatever.

I'm not saying that ship is right in the situation, but I like to, i like i sometimes in arguments i just feel like i like when people make good points and i feel like i like to highlight the points and to show that this situation was not quite as black and white but i think i think kreg is is the is the most correct here and i think that camera is the most correct to well i think both the most hot car was the most correct in this hotness and then he's getting in the middle so they move to a different bar. Yeah. Because now things are spiraling out of control.

Because now Austin, as you started to say, he starts saying that what really made a mad was that chef forcibly yanked her out to the back. And chef was like, what the fuck? I didn't forcibly do it. She could have said no. I don't forcibly make people do things like that. He's like, maybe she likes me.

He said that. He's like, well, maybe she came out back because she likes me, which really pissed off Austin. And then Austin is like, well, you know, you alluded to the fact that I didn't have enough money and chefs like alluded because he knows that Austin doesn't even know what he's saying. Well, and he's like, yeah, well, in Charlotte, you know, and then they showed the clips of him saying, you don't have enough money, bro, which is not alluding anything. That's just saying. Yeah. Yeah. So now, and Charlotte, you know, and then they showed the clips of him saying you don't have enough money, bro Which is not alluding anything that's just saying yeah, yeah, so now cuz now What's Austin is mad about cuz now they're fully they're fully fighting you know chefs like bunch of fucking babies Garsh and you know Craig's like obviously trying to fuck her

So so now Austin's mad and the exact quote that chef said in Charlotte was, Garsh, she went slumming with you. She wanted to see what the blue color life is like. Garsh, garsh, garsh. Yeah. So Craig is like, Shep's gonna walk away now, because he's mad.

He's like, I'm out of here. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, which, you know, I love a good judge duty. Yeah. In any show. And Austin's like, you're just gonna walk away. I mean, Craig's like, yeah, because you were trying to fuck her the other night.

He's like, yeah, Craig, I pulled down my pants and I showed her my dick, okay. And then Austin goes, what? You're just gonna walk away without trying to absolve this? Oh. And even jump is like, Oh, gosh. I can't do it.

People who aren't intellectual. Yeah, he's like, I have enough friends and they actually know what absolve means. So, gosh, I'm garshing. Fine, I'm garshing. I'm garshing out of here. So, gosh, I'm garshing. So, Jeppe, I'm fucking furious.

By the way, in the middle of this, Winnie doesn't interview. It looked like his chin was stung by like 20 different bees I don't know what's going on there, but I hope he gets some cream I think you as nervous and friend of bow cuz bow's like well I was talking to the boys and they said you said something about money and that's what I'm trying to understand Yeah, would you like to have a hug ship ship let me run my fingers through your hair Yeah, bow it bow is trying to be the piece mega

He's been the level headed one being like Shab did you say it so you're fine. It's fine. It's fine But you know and then when Austin's like he's the child. I'm done and he leaves to you and both cuz Austin, Austin Austin Austin, I was like, oh, well, come on, daddy. And sheep when he storms off, he's like, gosh, I've got a million friends. I don't need anymore.

And when he goes, I heard that. I shut up. He's like, it was Whitney even doing here. I don't know. I don't know. So now Catherine and the modeling, the modeling thing she goes and Thomas brings over Kinsey and Kinsey's like She's just laughing the whole time so excited. Yeah, they're like look it's a bobble since she's like

Amy the poor photographer has no voice Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa debut. She's like, I need to check on the voting tallies. Oh, Hillary. I'm part of the 99%. Oh, so they do this really cute modeling thing and Thomas and Catherine are getting along and when they when they're leaving, Kinsey starts freaking out because you know, she wants her mommy and she has to leave. And then Catherine starts sobbing and this was I cried. This was actually really devastating to watch. Yeah. I don't need to talk about that much. So you just go ahead.

Because I cried and I don't need to talk about that. No, it was really sad and what I thought was interesting was you know, a Catherine and Thomas have been getting along so well and laughing and smiling and then when the baby starts crying, they were there was such an uncomfortable Goodbye between the two adults because Catherine starts choking up and then Thomas is like oh I'll take a Thomas puts the baby in the in his car and he gives Catherine like this weird like Side hug and like barely even looks like she's crying You you would have thought that he'd give her like a hubby like it's all right

I'll take care of it But he just was was visibly uncomfortable and visibly unhappy with some sort of situation. And I was like, this show can get so dark sometimes. Like, so... Yeah, it really does. And when she went inside and she's like, you know, I know I made mistakes

and I'm paying the price for it and I get it, but... Ah, so sad. Urm. Yeah, so there's really..., so that was like five arms. Yeah, it was a big, a big, a section. So then we go to Cameron. Now she goes checking on Chelsea.

And Chelsea tells Cameron the whole chef story, but we've heard. And Chelsea's like, well, what I heard that chefs hold us and was that you've been in Shepsy or telling him to go after me And that's when Cameron's like yeah, but not to be like an idiot about it And she's like well you see his lifestyle and his friend shouldn't want me to be with him

She's like well, okay, you're right, but I feel sorry for chef, you know Okay, you're right, but I feel sorry for Shep, you know, which is also insulting to Chelsea. He is like a onion. Well, onion smell. You want me to smell like an onion for the rest of my life. Well, you're right, you're right, but when you pull the layers back from the onion,

there's more little baby onions in there than even cuter than the big onion. Don't you remember? Don't you remember Gina Davis's monologue and the feature film hero when she peeled an onion in front of all her peers and said that she was like an onion in the middle. There's nothing. Don't you remember? Now was she anything like shit? Cause he said, don't

or a bone. I feel sorry for him. It was put me with a shallot. And Chelsea's like, well, I'll know so many entitled guys. You don't face any consequences because of the lost dog. Have that. We're rise. She's like, okay, well, I will snatch it not in shit's head. I think you're the one today. Now excuse me while I go back to sort of the guy who sells beer to bars, but I'm not baiting him, so tell your friends.

Yeah. So next, Craig and Naomi are at their therapist. And Craig walks in, he's like, hello, put, hi, hi. She's like, she's like, did you just wake up? And he's like, God, low blow right off the bat. He's like, every outside. What time is it? 10 a.m. It's 4 p.m. Craig.

Great schools out. Let's have a beer. Yeah. So the therapist's like, so how are you? And Craig's like, well, we had a few good days, but now it's back. And he tells about this party they went to or that party at Patricia's house. Naomi told the story to the whole group where she's like, it was so cute. We were in the car and I was telling Craig,

I'm gonna become a pescatarian and he was like, oh my God, I didn't know your religious. And then I realized He thought I meant it Piscopalian. I know it's like no, I just want to eat foul He like didn't even know what pescatarian man like isn't that the cutest most dumbest thing you've ever seen Look how adorable. He doesn't even know what's happening. Look at him. He's so confused. Oh, let's all go pet Craig Does anybody have a fork to mash up one of these peaches with? Oh, but we have to pretend sneer playing. Okay, open up the hanger, Craig. She tried to make

a train go into my mouth. She's like, you two, come here, Craig. Here's little top up in the end. I'm going to you, Craig. It's like I knew it was a four. I shouldn't even try to make it have wings. I mean, I was so insulting. Like I don't know what a sport is. It was like a really condescending story to tell. Yeah, even though it was hilarious. It was shitty, but I was like, people that see

knows have no respect for Craig. And even those people were like awkward. They looked like he. But I have sympathy because I can tell that she's probably been pushed to this point of exasperation where the only way that she can find the outlet is to tell a passive aggressive story at Patricia's house. It's also what happened. I mean, it's borderline abusive to pick someone you consider to be a bimbo to date and then make fun of them forever for being a bimbo Yeah, I mean, it's like what do you think it's not like Craig was Waiting to you know show you this side of himself. He's pretty much been this since you met him

So why is it and then he's like he's like no, I mean she's just always trying to change who I am and they cut to her like a flashback to The same party later on and she's like Craig successful people don't sleep all day you sometimes exhibit loser behavior and so I was like well I was starting to feel bad for Craig but now that like she she's telling him uh could you like not sleep all day and he's like she's trying to change who I am and I'm a sleeper and she's well, I come home from 14 hour days and you're still in bed. And he goes, well, maybe it's because I was up on night trading in an offshore market until 5 a.m. And then I had to sleep and she goes, really? Craig, okay, Craig, you're having a great season so far.

Everyone thinks you're sweet and adorable. This is by far the best season you've ever had. We all just want to just give you a hug and just play with you and stuff. But here's the thing, every single season, the sleeping has been a problem. Every single season, so it's like, Craig, why do you sleep so late?

He's always like, well, if I get the work done, I get the work done. If I'm doing trading and offshore markets, if I'm, yeah, I'm getting it done, making doing trading and offshore markets. So I'm I am I'm gonna get done making the money It's a Craig it's time to accept that you need to get onto a more regular sleep pattern So that way people can enjoy you for who you are at this point You've had issues with the chef with cam the whole group You're old boss now your girlfriend about the sleeping time to set an alarm

Yeah, I'm not sure because as long as he's getting his rent paid and stuff, but I don't know if she's just taking care of him. That's supposed not really clear on this show. Like is she paying all the rent and the bills and he's just living off the money from the show and not making much of an effort anywhere else? Or if he's paying his half of the bills, he can do whatever the fuck he wants. And this is said by someone who will be going to sleep after this show. Well, I don't want to shame your- But also, I want to shame your upcoming sleep, but also, I mean, it could also be the son of depression to all this sleeping.

I understand why she's fresh right? She comes home, she's working hard, she wants to be with her boo, and he's sleeping, or he's just waking up and just coming to it. It's just like, it's kind of depressing, you know? Yeah. You at least have like an overnight shift at a hospital or something to account for it. Yeah. And I'm someone who used to do that.

I used to do that. I used to do that until 5 a.m. and then sleep until 1 or 2, like I get it, but a certain point, you've got to, if you're in a relationship, you want to, you want to be awake for your boo if you can. And Naomi ultimately, I think she said something sensible, which is like, look, be yourself. But you may have to just be yourself without me because I don't like where you are right now. And I'm not happy the way you are right now.

This is ruining my happiness to see you sleep throughout the day Yeah, I'll argue with that. Yeah, he's like God So step in camera next and she's like um chef I have to talk to you. This isn't good She'll and he is like okay. Well look basically. I tried to kiss Chelsea And she's like um she, she said twice, yeah, that's not good. I'm gonna have to take back Tom to now. And he's like, I don't remember. And she said, well, that's a problem. And if you can't stop your primal urge, is stop drinking. And he's like, you're the queen of promoting us together. Yeah, she's like, well, yeah, but the right way wasn't kissing a girl on bar behind the bar with her man,

still in the other room. That's not how you do it. He's a garbage well, you know, I see a shiny, I saw a shiny object and I went after him and came, I'm like, yeah, that's called entitlement. I was like, wow, Cam, great. Like, I love it. She's saying it all the way. And the way he worded it to I tried to eat like a fish like a lure. Yeah. So he was being lured. Come on. I'm like coming way old man on the sea. Yeah. But she her fault because she put the bait in the water. And you know, though, Cam called him out for everything. And was like, no, you know, I said go after her, you do it the proper way and the way you did it right there,

it just wreaks of entitlement. And that's gonna be your problem. And he's like, well, it usually works. Gorsh. Yeah. And then Kim asks, she's like, are you, are you jealous of Austin? And he's like, gosh, not jealous at all. Not jealous.

I don't care. And then he puts on thick sunglasses. Yeah, yeah. I don't care. Gors. on thick sunglasses Yeah, yeah, I love that I thought it was a great episode Yeah, it was got to some like real shit as like all this stuff that's been sort of like circulating around and the season is finally all coming together Lord well this was 11. I'm not sure how many they have this season but at the end of this episode There was a really good preview for the rest so I don't know if they're doing a full 20 year what This was 11, I'm not sure how many they have this season, but at the end of this episode, there was a really good preview for the rest, so I don't know if they're doing a full 20 or what, but looks good.

It's so good, I can't wait to see that happen next week. But in the meantime, tomorrow, we will be back to record some below deck Mediterranean. It's gonna be a good one. We will be back. Bye everybody. Bye everyone. See you tomorrow. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.