Watch What Crappens - #479 RHONY: Would You Believe It? LuAnn Got Married!
Episode Date: June 16, 2017It's the wedding of the century! LuAnn and Tom finally get married on this week's episode of "Real Housewives of New York," and to sweeten the deal, LuAnn even released a new single! We hav...e the world premiere on our show. Also, talk of Chinatown, oysters, tissue paper, and all the usual crazy stuff on this show. Thanks for listening! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders Cupi from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is
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Who crap is Who crap is Kids what happens when they're so happy? Kids what happens when they're so happy?
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Hey everyone, welcome to watch what crappens,
the podcast that all that crap on Bravo
that we just love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from beside blog.com
and the bandablinder,
and joining me as usual
is the wonderful and hilarious
and lovely and perhaps slightly hungover
because I'm just slightly hungover,
not really Ronnie Caram from trash talk TV.com
and the Rose Prick's Bachelor slash Bachelor Red Podcast.
What's up Ronnie?
Well, hello little band.n. yeah hello there
Ronnie and I hit the town last night we went out to the abbey with none other
than Hannah from below deck Mediterranean and it was
beyond beyond yeah she's so fun oh my gosh so beautiful too
I know she was like she's like well I'm just gonna throw in something I'll
probably look like Lino.
I look like a Hussie and she shows up, like gorgeous.
I was like, shut your face, Hannah.
Yeah, that's an expensive face.
You're fancy.
Yeah, that is moda-cheap, Hussie, that's for sure.
Yeah, that was fun.
And if you go on to our Instagram, which is at Watchwork
Happens on Instagram, we have a picture,
but we also have some stories. So go check that out now before they expire. Oh yeah go look
them over yeah she's so funny she's like then I'll have a date with a really
hot guy from wherever and then I'm not good to do by to see this and then I'll be
in the south of France doing this is like Jesus it looks quite the awesome life I
know I came home like I really suck.
Well you know what's also sucky is that we
we took we walked out a catch which is where she was going to have dinner
and we didn't really. Katie because her role was there. I catch.
We could have had like such a big powwow
but we didn't.
Oh well. Oh because the world we should have looked in there. Yeah, there were all these people taking pictures. I
There's so many little tiny short people who are apparently famous and they all drive these gigantic
Jeeps and like huge army cars. Yeah, and then these little tiny men come out, you know
like little tiny Persian men dripping with gold come out and I'm like where are are you people?
It's like there's a whole different life that those people lead, you know,
and you only see them if you stand outside restaurants like that.
Exactly. And the pop rats would take photos of all of them,
like literally a bum would walk up to the restaurant.
The pop rats are taking photos, but like me and Ronnie, no photos.
Yeah.
Starting with what are you going to do?
It might have something to do with us taking pictures of the pop
rat. They're like, wow, look at their cameras. Yeah, on our
Instagram story. And then like, when we eventually got home, I
was drunk and I turned the TV in the property brothers, Ron, I
took them bulletin Instagram stories of the property brothers.
I was looking at them today, I was like, huh? So it's a
fun night.
Now, those are celebrity. Yeah, those are real stars. Yeah.
I would understand them coming out of a giant G, but be like, oh my god, the property,
bros.
Yeah, but the other guys, I'm like, is this guy like a background on Shaws of Sunset once?
Yeah, I don't know, but everybody apparently knew because they were like, click, click, click,
click, click, click, click, maybe it was like French Montana or something.
Yeah, I don't even know, but you know, what are you going to do?
I was like, hey, oh, our, our Chevy, our 1983 Chevy lift is here to get a yes with an extra from breaking bad driving it.
She really was.
She was like, she did this to me.
She was like, you guys are the best. I want to hang out with you guys all the time
Can't even do her math math boys
Yeah, it was a great night
But even more excitingly is that we have a real housewives in New York City recap to dive into and by the way
If you're new to this podcast because you learn about us through the bitch Bible
Jackie Shimmel welcome. We hope we can live up the expectations
Yes, and go listen to Jackie hilarious. Yeah soups soups funny new pod friend for sure. Yeah, love her
All right, so shall we jump into can you believe it girls? It's the wedding episode
Can you believe a girls?
Can I've got wedding rings on both of my ring fingers
That's how married I am. I'm so ringed up
I took Beyonce's advice and I had a ring, but I'm both of them
We start with the Amy Winehouse music
the Amy Winehouse music. That's rehab, right?
Yeah.
No.
No.
You don't want that.
You don't want that.
You don't want that.
Yeah, but it's a little bit more to charm.
Okay.
So that's the worst state now. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, think I can't press block this collar on your ghost. I can.
Well, any episode that features Dorenda is sort of spiritually a successor to Amy Winehouse.
So I'm it makes sense.
Yeah, every time that music plays, it's like, uh, oh,
drunk Dorenda's going to make a speech in this episode.
Yes.
So the episode opens with Edgar aka Frenchy making eggs in Sonia's kitchen in the breakfast for breakfast
I'm no five and believe this guy's French because this guy is like cartoon French
He's like hootly hootly oh
Sonia from an well done the coffee Sonia you look at the egg and she says did you bring this and it's a point steady a plant He's like ah yes a broad Sonia you're like at the egg and she says did you bring this and it's a point setting a plant he's like oh yes a broad Sonia you're like at the egg something
about this whole thing with Edgar Frenchy feels oh what's the word like
completely fake like this is clearly an arrangement for the TV show
yeah this is like a gaze she met met outside the port authority bus station, you know?
Yeah, exactly.
First of all, I mean, who wears a blazer to make eggs for Sonia in the morning?
Okay, that's already suspect with a handkerchief in the pocket, like a folded handkerchief.
Yeah, he's like a I'm sure really bad faux French version of Adam Scott.
That's what he is.
Oh, is that little dot there? Tinsley going to be awake for the
eggs? Should I make egg for Tinsley? And she's like, Oh, you know,
Tinsley, getting your hair done, doing your makeup.
Okay,
Sun, you're waking up.
Right.
I'm happy.
You know, Tinsley, you show wake up and push the covers off.
You know, Tinsley is just open her eyes when she wakes up so typical.
Oh, she's probably yawning about now.
I wonder what kind of makeup she's gonna wear.
And he's like, oh, these women, you have this habit of they make up and stuff.
And you need every day of these habits for the women.
So sure enough, Tinsley comes down to Can I get a tissue? Anyone? And she's like,
oh, I'm excited for breakfast. She stays. Frenchie. Would you mind opening the front door if you
hear the doorbell ring, or waiting for some hats? Sonia's passed out on the floor. Stay away from Frenchie. You can do it.
I'm training Frenchie to stop Connor from opening the door when your hats come.
It's a process.
So Sonia is admitting that this thing with Frenchie is going too far and she's like, you know,
what I thought was an 11 to 7 turned into a 7-11.
Yeah, I mean, this guy is cheap.
I'm like, are you, so you're saying there are a bunch of meth heads that have accumulated
around your house because that sort of makes sense?
I mean, the pizza isn't that great at three in the morning, but at three in the morning,
who cares?
You know what I like about 7-11s?
They really appreciate the past.
Like for instance, that hot dog that's been on the roller, has been there as long as
I've had computer number 3.
Oh, so on Ziza.
That's where Pickles is just rotating on Sonya's little hot dog thing in the basement.
I got one in the 7-11.
Pickles is like literally in a pickle star downstairs.
Just waiting to emerge. She's like, please, someone unscrew this top
and let me free, free pickles people.
She's in a fire.
She's in a panic state, yeah.
So, Frenchie, Frenchie's playing Donna Reed, you know?
Yeah.
And, sorry.
Regal's like something.
No, I'm just like laughing about pickles
in a jar, you're learning to come out and like, imagining her like, finally climbing
out, she's like, is it the year 2135?
Like, no, it's actually just three years later.
It's like, oh.
She's like, well, at least the computers are still here.
It's like a box of soap.
Some old paper towels.
Maybe she's a little bit more into it. Some old Viva paper towels that were never open.
It's actually not Viva paper towels. It's actually a roll of paper towels made from
other paper towels. It's like a little Viva, a little charm, a little up and up.
Recycled paper towels. I buy extra paper towels so I can make a new roll from
the spare parts.
So she's, Tim's, he's just down there to start shit. She's like, hey, Frenchy.
So what about, what about this other dude you dating?
What happened to Rocco?
Yeah.
And he's like, oh, I do not care.
You know, these, these dating, these rules you have in America, you
date you be with someone, you you tie them down tie them to
three every time mailman comes dog transpite leg off it's like Jesus Christ Frenchy you know that's
Frenchy's way of just saying I can fuck whoever I want and I'm still getting free rent and don't
try and step on to my property bitch like let my arrangement stand tinsley I'm feeling you an egg
right now well tinsley has a right
to make the little the digs because apparently french you was intended for tinsley but then
soon you took him for for herself so this is her little way of getting revenge yeah and
she's like well so you're seeing other people too frenty and he's like sing it but no
I'm not having sex this is friends oh I don't like words. You Americans, you have these words you say.
You have a word that means something,
and then they're supposed to mean something else.
I don't even know what you're saying.
Sancti structure.
Come on.
And someone's like, yeah, friends.
Yeah, just friends.
I don't like words either.
Frenchy.
Frenchy.
Going up to be the school.
Down with words.
Yeah.
So then, so after this Frenchy going up to be down with words. Yeah. So, uh, so then, uh, so after this Frenchy scene, we then go over to Bethany's, uh,
apartment where she is making a whole bunch of the little Christmas gifts for the ladies,
minus Ramona. Um, and by Bethany making Christmas gifts, I mean, Julia, her assistant is doing them,
uh, because Bethany's gonna have a Christmas party.
Yeah, her assistant's just walking around going Bethany look wonderful
And of course there's a huge skinny girl
Lose ice culture in the middle. Yeah, just in case anybody forgot what Bethany does for a living
Yeah, and Bethany the professional chef is having this catered
My guy it wasn't even Joe or something like that who's actually making a lot of delicious stuff
by a guy, it was named Joe or something like that, who was actually making a lot of delicious stuff.
But like my, I was like sort of traumatized
by Bethany eating a lobster roll
and then talking with her mouth open
and it was just like all gooey and cream cheesy
like these strings of mayo or cream cheese
or whatever were all in her mouth.
It's like, it's not a good look Bethany.
She's just trying to prove that she can eat.
She's like, what?
I'm eating.
I'm not throwing.
It's like, what's the matter?
Like, what's the matter?
Happy holidays.
Like, what is it?
Like, rampas.
I don't get it.
Like, what is going on?
Got a close up of this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, why is this an Olympic event?
Like, it's a illusion.
Like, I don't get it.
Like, I thought you were supposed to die on this.
It's supposed to be scary.
Like, I don't know.
Not fast. I can get a gold medal now. Am I going Olympics? Am I like Olympian now? Like literally kill me now like I'll see like you know what like set me down the loose thing and just coming down
Like run me over the bops up then like I can't oh Bethany you're hilarious. All right. What's the matter?
What's going on? Where's a loose so new?
She's made little balloon heads of all the ladies except for Ramona and she's put them in like these the glass
heads of all the ladies except for Ramona and she's put them in like these the glass vastly it was weird. It's basically like a bunch of decapitated houses.
They were like they were like I thought there were Christmas ornaments that
there are faces on them. Oh I thought they were balloons. I guess that makes
more sense. I mean those are huge though. No they were nice. They were nice.
They were nice and personalized. They had caricatures. They were they were nice.
They were it was a good gift. This one looks like when a remote is breast implants.
Right.
So then we, she's like, well, last year I had a holiday party
and I just loved this and I was annual.
It's like, can be every year, like Christmas.
It's gonna come like Christmas every year.
My favorite is then we cut to Duranja in the cab
and she just had all this tissue paper and plastic
and this is all year
Now this is why he back
That when you have John sitting on that couch. It's like the you know D, derimage of love to sit there and be matted John at all times.
Like she's putting wrapping paper into the couch cushions.
He's not making noise, Jan.
Trying to watch a good fight.
All right, you're making too much of that.
I'm going together with my son, Aata.
So, so yeah, she's like making making some like all this tissue paper is like rubbing
up against her mic and I it was so obnoxious, but you know the editor's it's it's classic
D'Ariinta and that's why the editors put it in there. I mean that is so funny D'Ariinta.
It's like five packages of that wrapping tissue. Like five like what are you wrapping
that you need all of them?
There probably was no gift in there.
She's like, as you know, what's funny, I forgot a gift after all that.
I don't know why I think about sometimes.
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm thinking about, you know.
So funny.
Like a brick-o-li birthday gift, is there a birthday?
I don't know.
I just forget things.
It's called being a blackout drunk during
the day. Sometimes you know you're supposed to do something. And when you wake up like
you like later you're like what was I supposed to do? Yeah, stop drinking. Especially
I suppose to go driving. So then so everyone's. Across town Ramona's putting on lipstick.
She's like, oh, look, there's a stick.
It's a stick of stuff for my lips.
I'm gonna put it on.
And I heard Bethany's having a holiday party
and I'm not invited.
Am I happy about it?
No.
But it's so good.
It's ongoing out with Avery and her girlfriends.
Avery and her girlfriends are basically me and my girlfriends.
Basically, I'm just like one of the girls.
I'm like a 22 year old girl,
we're just gonna go out and get some wine, okay?
This is Avery's girlfriends are like my girlfriends,
except no one in their group has had sex with Tom yet.
No?
Whoa, is this what it means when it says
you're gonna get a 23 and me kit, you out and hang out a bunch of 23 year old girls
Okay, I like it
So then over at Sonya she's packing a bunch of crap to make room for Frenchy. Yeah, it was coming in
Wait, is this time we find this out?
So tensi and so based no Sonya's just packing to go to Foucaix for the New Year's and
Tenzi and Connor like but she's so tensed in the so based no sonia is just packing to go to fuket for new years and tinsy and conner like broke it so tinsy and conner like yay because they apparently are
gonna have a big party one sonia leaves and they put it out on paperless posts and so
nia's like you know like she's very distracting to my assistant she has to stop like what
is conner doing what What is Connor doing all day?
Where is he? Do you know how many things he could be doing for me, paperless?
I have plenty of paperless things that he could do. What math equations is he trying to
solve right now, or formulas, okay, that he cannot be distracted from? Just numbers flying
by Connor's head, like a beautiful mind. Yes Yes, sorry everyone, that was my phone. I did not put on vibrate. None of you.
It was me who was who was receiving a text, not you guys. So don't have, don't check your phones.
Hannah, she's like, you were supposed to make me back at the eby.
Wait, wait.
So let's see she's backing.
Then Bethany is getting ready for her party.
And she's talking to the chef and she's like,
remember last year,
remember last year when I ordered a lobster roll.
That was great.
Yeah, I went to all the other burrows too.
Like lobster roll lobster roll lobster roll.
What are you talking about?
Just please, please leave him a learn what MD is job.
Yeah, but but that's not going to happen from because
Dorenda comes that shows up and she's like, you know what
I want to do?
I want to look at it open up and noise.
So, so he like, he shows her, he's like, he's sticking in there and they wait for the
release.
Like, oh, it's like sexual and stuff.
He was being sexual.
He was like the next John.
I mean, Dorenda, I can't believe Dorenda didn't put on her flip flops and try and climb
that mountain because he is like John
He's like, yeah, well, he's what you do you get this knife and then you put it in his ass It's the back door just the tip and Beth and he's like, yes, just a tip. I knew you was gonna say that Bethany
Yeah, well, it's the tip, you know, just put the tip in there
He's like, yeah, then you shove it in there
And then you move it around a little bit and you try not to get stuff splurting everywhere,
and then boom, it is like sex.
It's like eating noises, it's like eating the sea.
Wet and salty.
I will say this about Bethany.
She is always good for a low-hanging fruit sex joke,
because if you say something like,
wow, the wind is really blowing.
Yeah, like a blowjob, huh? You're like, okay, Bethany. You got it. I hope they're making a lot of wind is really blowing. Yeah, like a blowjob, huh?
You're like, okay, Bethany.
You get up.
They're making a lot of money for that blowing.
Yeah, yeah.
The wind blowing so hard, it's like, you know, it's like a hooker, like a hooker down on
like bourbon street, you know what I'm saying?
It's like blowing all day all night long, you know what I'm saying?
Wet and salty, I think he's talking about vaginas, huh?
He's like, I'm literally talking about vaginas.
I like how that has become part of our Bethany impersonation.
That's the one that she's actually
She's never ever done that
But Bethany's humor has become so cat skillsy
Like we just met
Well, Bethany laughs like Kate Chastain
And so you can't imitate her laugh because it's just this
That's your entire laugh
She has the next level laugh where she will just like,
you know, but that's like that rare laugh
where you laugh so hard you're like practically crying,
you know, but yeah, mostly it's that.
Yeah, when she can't help it,
she sounds like Drew Bairry,
more being murdered than Scream, you know.
Oh, so Durinda back with the oyster,
Durinda's like, I'm so sexy
It's really a oyster. I'm gonna take this to the bedroom and teach Jan
I'm like, please don't shove anything inside John's back door and expect wet and salty
Please, I don't need to hear any of this. Please no excessive slurping around John
Can we just celebrate baby Jesus? How about that guys?
We just celebrate baby Jesus. How about that guys?
How about that?
Well we can, if we go over to Mayu with Ramona and all the girls where Ramona is like,
I can't believe it.
I've known these girls for like 10 years.
They went to Avery's, sweet 16 and now they're drinking wine and learning things about
wine.
Now they know they're short and they're in the sense of face and they're shrug.
They know everything now.
It's crazy.
Whoa! They're burgundies, they're pinos, they're shard-mays. God forbid I don't have the right flavor of wine for them.
Whoa, that's crazy. I think this is one time, I was this little girl and I was looking my dad's wine.
And I said, can I have some of that wine and Geraldine Parsons Smith came out to me and said you sure can't because as we all know you're
the big wine expert as in WHINE and to this day I've never been able to tell the difference
between wine and wine okay I'm sorry I can't.
Oh when they get out of the restaurant it's like this sexy sex in the city.
I've got no Ramona's.
Ramona was just so perfect in this entire episode.
I only need to go off what Ramona actually does on this. Cause she's like, look, sexy ladies coming out of the car.
Okay, how about when we come out of the car, you put the camera down on the ground.
So all you see is legs, like sexy legs, play
that Amy wine music, because these girls love their wines. Okay. It's like, boom, boom,
boom, like 20 year old legs, 20 year old legs, 20 year old legs in the Ramona. It's like,
boom, boom, thank you. Okay. Thank you so much. Hey, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he is literally the girl from the ring has caught out the TV and is ready to have a holiday party.
My hair is in my face. Is there a step coming up?
I'm sorry, I just finished decorating my wall.
Hey, speaking of wealth, we have a loose over there.
You know, good, right. It's a loose.
Like you put liquor in the top and it comes out the bottom of the well. It's amazing. It's amazing.
Ring girl. Try it. Yeah, but your looks on it like do it right now. It's like.
Well, I like to drink when it's fine and Carol puts her lips around that loose. Aren't you just supposed to open your mouth and just let stuff.
I don't need all these full contact Nash lips of this group, but she she does that she's like
I'm only gonna drink again if it's from a lose or a sippy straw
But somebody's not really made me laugh because she smiled like so happily
It's like because you can tell she really loves a sippy straw and I think that her delight was contagious for me
Yeah, I drink everything with the sippy straw. I don't notice I even drink my
martinis with a straw. Oh, I didn't know that. I prefer a straw. Oh, yeah, I take
them from my water. That's why I always have full water. I ordered three drinks,
a water, a glass of ice, and a martine. I forgot about that thing.
You look a shot of tequila in a tall glass, okay?
And then some water in a short glass.
And then some water in a medium sized glass, okay?
And 19 lines.
Just in case you never know what you're going to need.
So speaking of, Ramona's in heaven over at this restaurant
because there's like 90,000 glasses on the table.
You know, she's like, this is called Power Girls.
This is Power Glass. And Avery is like...
We won.
Avery is like, Pellegrino is like my water. Like, I literally called it water growing up.
I'm like, because it is water. It's sparkling water.
And then this other girl goes, that's like one of my favorite things about going
over to your house. There's OAS called bottled water.
girl goes, that's like one of my favorite things about going over to your house. There's OAS called bottled water.
I was like, girl, which desert have you been living in?
Ramona.
Oh, you girls, you guys can hang with me, okay?
We'll call it like once a week we could do it.
And we could call it the thing.
No, the singer thing, okay?
And then you guys could have your friends and
then I can bring my friends and they will mix and it'll be just girls being girls with
other girls. And her friends, her friends, because um, do your girlfriends have sons that
maybe they could bring and Ramona just gives her this look like you're missing the point
of what I'm trying to say.
Okay.
I don't know what it was.
I was just not involved in it.
Yeah.
You could blame on Mariah.
He's grown up nicely.
Yeah.
He certainly has.
So then we, um, we learned that Ramona had actually had a charity event the night before.
And we see on all these flashbacks that tensilyley lets the cat of the bag go about Bethany's holiday party because she's like, hey, so are you going to
you're going to Bethany's party? Do you have a tissue? And everyone's like, what
party? I didn't even know about it, okay? So, am I upset about it? Yeah. Why is
word baby here? Why is the Bubby version of word baby here?
There's like some guy who looks like Warren baby had all his blood sucked out and then all of his skin tied
Behind his head with like a rubber band and then someone put a lot of lotion on him and just set him loose in this party
He looks sort of like a spelt penguin
From like that penguin not like an actual penguin.
And I think he even was like use the key to the city or whatever like he's really
he does was a timber and creature that's for sure. Like he could have been like like Beatles
uses brother. Yes, it's like the guy that you know that Helen the bottom Carter fucked to mess
up that whole marriage. You're like, oh,
Alina of course you ruined it over that guy. It's like with it. So Ramona is back with the girls and she's like, girls, so girls
Anybody want to curl my hair right now? Well, he tell this story. Hey, can we have a comb? Could you bring a comb? We're going to comb each other's hair, because what girls?
She's like, girl, talk.
Slumber party, OK?
Look at me.
I'm Sandra D. No one tends to anybody here.
Sandra's just a song.
She's my buttons, OK?
Sandra D came up to me, and she was pushing my buttons.
I blacked out like an animal
Hey, I went on a rampage like an animal blackout rampage, okay?
I was like a bear eating fish and not gonna go for treats
I don't even remember but I saw it on the news. I was like a bull in a china shop
I said that would never bring any China at this color deal because yellow reminds me of sunshine, okay?
Also, Bethany's full of so much bull.
I can't compete, get it, girls?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
I'm like a Bethany in a China shop,
because she's just pure bull, okay?
Yes, a Ramona was like,
I'm like the girls.
Well, she's like me, you know,
she grew up in crazy homes,
and like she's just, you know,
she's like thin and good-looking and gorgeous.
And just like a successful business woman who's adored by all the fans who had her own talk
show, but just like the same.
So her friend Avery's friends like, well, you shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around
your friends.
I mean, that's not fair to you.
And that's not true friendship.
Yeah.
And everyone's like, hallelujah!
Hallelujah!
Spoken from a 22-year-old girl.
Could you believe it?
Could you believe it?
And then what I'd love was that there was some other girl
who clearly wanted to piggyback and get points with Ramona.
And this other girl just goes, yeah,
you don't want to have to walk on eggshells with your friend.
Yeah.
I'm like, that's what that other bitch just said be quiet
Just drink your pala greeno, okay? You're not eating anything substantive to this
This conversation, okay that even say that word right could do is to me
So over at the party during this like yeah, it was a party
Yeah, it was a party. Ramona, I went and I said my piece and we get a flashback.
Why weren't we so in this party?
I don't know.
This party looks amazing.
It looked so good.
By the way, I just want to say that I was really
amused that Ramona declared that she had a bond
with the 22 year old girls.
That they're now all bonded for life.
We together forever.
Yeah.
So anyway, yes.
So Dharinda, we get a flashback of this party.
She's like, hey Ramona.
It's drunk D'Ariinda.
So she's like flying off the handle.
She's like, don't you hear me, Ramona?
My ass is shit, ho.
It's like the goddamn Playboy Capitol.
I had to go in and then peel Scott Bay off the floor. I mean who, what are you?
What are you, some paid chicken eat monster?
And I chose a year with disgrace.
Last year your dog shit's all over.
This year you're ripped down on the walls.
And next year I'm just gonna leave you a tiny little terrorist
with a bomb vest and you can just push him over and blow the entire place up Ramona. And then Sonia walks into Bethany's party and she sees
Durinda talking about the paints they got. She's like, oh this again. Do we have to always talk about
this? Connor, did I tell you, has anybody heard about what a paper loose post is?
Someone please explain that to me.
How do you have a post of that paper?
I tried to log on to my Apple IIE, I can't find anything about it, but I did use Bank
Street Press to get right up nice little poem.
If there's no paper, what's a postman going to post?
I mean, I'm worried for those guys.
I'm going to be bringing on the doorbell that we're not answering for tinsley
I mean I never heard of anything so ridiculous how can I have the New York Post without paper?
I mean how am I gonna read page six without the pages?
Doesn't make sense in your post list. Does that make sense to anybody else?
How are they gonna subscribe? How do you even send it to a little subscribe thing?
That's in the middle of the paper. I just wish tins would make sense
I just wish that she would say things that made sense.
So she could focus on her career and focus on getting a man
and focus on getting out of my house.
So, uh, Rome's during the dust
will go about it more and more.
And then it cuts back to Ramona dinner.
And she's like, oh my god, girl, so gross.
Durantika, so upset with me,
because there were these things on the wall
and they were lit up and I was so upset emotionally.
Like she starts tapping her head.
She's like emotionally.
I wasn't thinking because of Bethany.
And so I just tore it and it took some painting
and she's so upset now.
She's like so upset.
I just, I like that because basically there were lights
from production that were taped up on the walls
at that Ramona.
She can't say that, but she's also afraid
to actually say the word lights.
So she makes it sound like there's some alien creatures.
Though these things in the wrong lid up,
couldn't find a plug, and they were just bright.
And I just saw the lights, and I was like,
Laura, Stephanie, I finally saw the light,
and I didn't like it, and I tore it down, and I broke up the paint, I'm sorry, Laura's definitely, I finally saw the light, and I didn't like it, and I tore it down,
and I broke up the pink, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I ruined your house, but there were bright things
shining in the objects, I can't deal.
Little UFOs, private in my room.
Sonya was trying to get them to probe her.
I said, get off the dresser, I'm trying to sleep.
Sonya, this is not time to play communion, okay?
You do not dealing with aliens.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, close encounters
with a Sonya Morgan kind.
No one wants to probe your ingenious, okay?
So she ripped them off the wall or whatever.
Now here's where Ramona, and you can even see
that Durinda probably said Ramona,
if they were production lines, they were just plugged in.
It's not like they're wired to the house.
Because she said, there were these things on the wall,
and I mean, I guess there was a plug,
but I didn't see the plug because,
emotionally upset, because Bethany,
because like 9-11, like the Vietnam War,
you understand, like upset.
Okay.
So instead of just unplugging the lights,
she like rips them off like the Hulk.
Yeah, which is they must have been hot.
I don't even know how she did it.
But then it cuts to Sonia and she goes, well, that's just typical Ramona.
I mean, I told you every time we go to a hotel, she trashes the bathrooms like she's a rock star.
Which is so disgusting.
You could just see Ramona like, oh, really?
Trash can. You think you're right. Side up right now. You can just see Ramona like oh really trash can you think you're right
Side up right now you're not your upside down
Whoa, I mean take a shit in this toilet, but I'm not gonna flush it okay
I'm gonna add more toilet paper and more and more and more wow what a crazy life I live
I dropped a towel on the ground okay my bad it's called poison
I dropped a towel on the ground, okay? My bed is cold poison.
Well, making me clean up my own mess, you know what that is?
That's day class say.
There's a reason why they have-
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasive.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,
from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between
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laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.
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Meet their drop.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm not gonna clean up my own bathroom, okay?
I'm a regular Janice Chopin.
So, I'm a Jimmy Hydrodrocks just like the I'm Beethoven not the dog the rock star
So she's
Back at dinner. She's like cheers girls to nothing ever being my fault
No, and she hears to not walking on eggshells and that girl's like yeah, you shouldn't ever walk on. Did you shoot him on the eggshells? Egg shells? I said it too.
So then back at Bethany, Bethany's just cheering too.
She's like, all right, everybody, cheers,
cheers, cheers, because it's like egg knock
and these chocolate chip cups, because they're cups,
but they're made out of chocolate chip cookies,
but like, you know, they've been special.
So like watch out, it's strong.
And Carol's like, I'm only drinking again. If it's from a chocolate chip cup or a liege or a sippy cup.
I love the Carol's boundaries. It's just like totally being blown open this episode.
It was a big, big episode for personal growth for her. I learned so much.
Carol is found three things still drink from now. Watch out.
Hey, I was gonna cook you cup any day.
I was real.
I was behind him, AAB.
Oh yeah, some cookie cups looked really good.
I was starving.
It occurred to me that like, because we had dinner and it occurred to me that it was not like a very big dinner.
We were, because we were talking so much that like I realized that words.
I was like, I had like five little chicken meat balls
and that was it essentially.
I mean, I had three pieces of that roll
and like two pieces of meat that I didn't understand
that came on the skewers.
How did those little people eat all that food?
That was a lot of food, right?
It was, it was a lot of food,
but just that we were talking so much.
And so it was like when I got home and I was watching this drunk
New York, which is why I'm a little patchy with some of this. I was like wait a second. I'm starving. We didn't really have dinner
I
Love days like that. I know I was like you know, you know those people who were like oh
I just forgot to eat today. I'm a little lightheaded. I'm like who the fuck?
Forgets to eat like my whole my body won't let it's like you're not eating you're not eating. What are you doing right now?
You're not eating right you eating right now
But we did it. We successfully forgot to have a full dinner
Well, I came home and ate a couple of time and all pms. Okay, that'll help
D-liss is
D-liss
So let's see here, what's Mac?
What's Mac's?
It's the one and only wedding.
This is the wedding we've been waiting for for a year.
As some of you probably already know,
Luand did not allow Bravo cameras into her wedding,
which is a big mistake, huge, huge mistake.
But she had all this personal footage
that I think she sold to people magazine or something like that.
So essentially Bravo kind of did a little montage of Luan's personal footage, which was sort of nice too because at least it was quick.
It was like a five minute thing of, you know, there's Luan getting to address and there's Luan posing and there's Luan and Dom and there's Tom and here and makeup, you know. Just was a huge surprise because, you know, mostly Bravo people get married so that
their wedding is paid for by Bravo.
Yeah.
They're like, we gotta do it in the season, but she didn't.
And I thought that was odd because she is a TV person and you know, she would want the
attention, etc.
But then I thought, you know, she probably does not want cameras following around
Tom. Yeah. Because I mean, this guy cannot she probably does not want cameras following around Tom.
Yeah.
Because I mean, this guy cannot keep his foot out of his mouth.
Like everything he says is so awkward and weird that if they had cameras following him
around, you know, she knows what production did last year with that make out thing on
the fucking bar lounge.
She knows that was production.
You took that picture.
Yeah.
She, I agree with you. I think she was like, listen, I just want to have fun on my wedding
and I don't want to be bothered with being faced with Tom's infidelity. So let's just
stick our heads in the sand and enjoy this. Yes. But me, I was just like, there's nothing
to tape under the sand. But me, meanwhile, I'm thinking myself, you know, in Vanderpump rules, we had three episodes devoted to Katie and Tom's Wednesday wedding up in the forest. Okay. And
we hear we only get five minutes of Luans. This is like the actual, the first Broadway wedding
I've been like genuinely excited to see ever. And that's only like one.
And you know, there is only one main camera because Jill Zaren was in front of it the whole
time. She's like, hi, it's me, Jill, Jill Zaren.
Remember me?
Still got it, my soul top.
Yeah, it was a lot of, and then I'm just like a lot of Luanne,
and Narrow, like it's beautiful, it's perfect, it's wonderful.
What a perfect day.
I'm so ready and I'm so happy.
And then, then they show the ceremony and the officiant is like,
love is reckless, not reason.
I'm like, damn, even he's against this.
You're making a reckless decision, Luan.
I'm here to tell you.
Like is when you're making out with someone at a hotel bar.
Love is when you go home to someone
who's pretending nothing ever happened.
Moths off, everybody.
Love is looking the other way
when your wife hooks up with the Johnny Depp pirate?
So after he bangs Sonya Anely in a greenhouse.
All right, everybody, let's crush the glass
and get on with it, shall we?
So my only observations was,
Noel is super hot now that he's like 22.
And Kelly Benzmann was there,
and did you see Kelly Benzmone in the background?
No, I was making an ex-sat which. Oh, well it's pretty much the same experience, but she was there. And then was that a mandalapor coming up in the cake?
This is your brain on Benzmone. Any questions? Actually many, many questions.
Yeah, it was like home video footage and Lewand just kept saying, I happy. Can you believe it? Look at me I'm so happy. Oh, and then I walked down the aisle. Oh, so happy. I'm so happy
Like I'm making a sandwich. I can't
Was that Amanda Lapura at one point?
Like literally, I don't know. I really was truly making sandwich. Okay. I think Amanda Lapura came out of a cake
But I could be I could be raw that Merrill
and Monroe chick. Yeah, yeah, that's funny. And then, uh, uh, Lewand, like, look, I have
a sombrero. Everybody enjoy their tacos. And she, like, took off her sombrero and that
like, playmate is like kissing her. She's like, you're gorgeous. And Lewand said, you
know, it's just you find someone alive and you have a playmate.
And now I have a new playmate.
And I love my new playmate.
I'm like, well, do you love his new playmate?
Like his playmate just jumped out of damn cake, Lewand.
Come on.
I think my favorite part to come out is wedding was the fact that Lewand released a new single.
That was my favorite part of it.
My God, I cannot wait to hear it.
I heard about it. Yeah, but I couldn't stay up for Watch Your Happens my favorite part of it. My God, I cannot wait to hear it. I heard about it.
Yeah, but I couldn't stay up for Watch Your Happens Live when she performed it.
Okay, well, guess what? Of course, since we are a professional podcast, we have the single right here.
So I'm going to play it. All right, is everyone ready to hear Luanne's new single?
Oh my God, I'm so excited. I'm so excited.
But everyone, I mean, Ronnie. Okay, here we go.
Would you believe it, girls? I'm getting married me counters Luendus steps to Tom
I just do that's crazy
So I used to bang Tom all the time and we used to play back in what a crazy world
Can't you just be happy for me Ramona?
Emptance West Palm Beach now. We have them all in reach. We've got money, we've got flat Look at Bethany with my hair
So come on Drinder, come on Jill
We got the odd and Tom's got the bid
Cause it's Wednesday night at the Regency
Tom and Tune's gonna show just waiting to see So what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what- what like on to the Kino. Hey, be happy for her! Do the Dacacino, do the Dacacino, I'm sorry he is, but you know what they say?
He's a racist blitz.
Why can't you picture just be happy for me?
Ooh, I like the way that I see him.
Let's just work with this one bit.
I'm feeling a little inspired, okay?
Here we go.
Why can't you picture?
Be happy for me and talk.
Wait, what is this?
Do you and I don't get
Like
Okay
So it's kind of funny because the way it's fried and barb is so short that you want to go through that
Does anyone have a tissue? Does anyone have a tissue? I just love it
Hey John, John get in the other tissue
You know what they say? You get some snout on your head?
It happens, you know
Please say it's not about time
It's about time
I think it's about time for where?
It's about time
Really?
You didn't have to use about it. On page 6, okay? Do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, like you know what, let's just say do the daqasino, do the daqasino, okay?
Do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, do the daqasino, no.
It is about Tom and me.
Would you believe it?
We're getting married.
I'm bad, this fucking obeys me. Would you believe it? We're getting married. That is fucking amazing. Really?
That is fucking perfection. Oh man. Sometimes it's moments like these when I realize why I have not
gone ahead in Hollywood because I'm being stupid as songs on GarageBand.
That shit is hilarious. Oh man. Well, thank you. And thank you, Luan. Thank you, Luan.
Thank you, Luan. Thank you, Luan. Thank you, Luan. Really?
Hey, be happy for that.
That's a wrap.
I'm happy.
That was amazing.
Yeah, good job, Luan.
Thank you.
It's a wrap.
Thank you, Luan. Thank you, Luan. It's a pleasure. Thank you, Lewand.
Thank you, Lewand.
I don't know why you didn't want her to be a single.
It will be.
It will be.
Can you believe it, girls?
Getting married.
That is so good.
Guys, before we go any further in this episode, there's something really, really quick and
easy we want you to do.
We rely on advertising to keep this show free.
And if you could do us a favor, could you go to podcastlistener.com slash crap ends and
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like a minute and you know who doesn't love good survey thanks okay podcast
over no just kidding because guess what two weeks later now we're in
January and it's Bethany and Carol getting dim sum and I love the way Bethany
talks about Carol sometimes because Carol's like
how are we all these ducks hanging from the third of the windows?
And Matthew's just like, I don't get Carol.
Like she's like lost in America,
like she doesn't know where she is.
Like we live in New York City,
the guys come out with cards and you tumbling,
that's what you do.
Like I don't get it, I don't understand
why Carol's having such a hard time with this.
Carol's like, is this place even real?
Of course it's real.
Why would you even say it's not real?
She's like, his trap said that global warming is a Chinese house.
So maybe China town's a hoax too.
She's like, just shut up.
Just shut up.
Just shut up.
Look, look,
we're looking at things that aren't right now.
Okay, just like enjoy it for a moment, okay.
It's Simpson, okay, pick a roll.
Just do something.
Pick some.
They're gonna do shit.
You do it, I don't want to.
And she's like, you're very negative. And then the way they're
gonna spy with the with with the help of food. And she goes, she's she's been very negative today.
Really negative, super negative. What you're gonna frown at a rib? You see she's frowning at a rib.
Like seriously? Like who doesn't like about? Like I'll see you take about. Like literally take
about, take about and get out of here. Like I can't deal with you anymore. Like curtain call. It's time
for you to go. So you're so American right now so she's
like I'm not negative someone needs coffee. The quality is not on the cart so I'm
not gonna get it it's only what's on the cart okay. I only eat food with not
on wheels. Is there a sippy cup with white rice in it? Otherwise I'm out of here.
Does this green tea come in a chocolate chip cookie cup? No, okay.
Can I have that green tea from a loose place?
Is there a loose? You want a rip?
Your green tea destroyed our loose.
I can see your ribs, get it?
No! You're the worst. Why I'm even
watching you. I'll say like kill me right now like shoot me like shoot my
that's why I'm like shoot my shoot me right now.
Hark out. So Bethany's like, uh, yeah, what about that? What? Like, did that even
happen? Because like, she's having a party to celebrate a bear is that nobody saw
like, if a marriage happens to
probably should nobody saw it didn't even happen seriously. So I feel so I can't like like fortunately.
And so they so then Carol talks about how there's other rumors about Tom now blah blah blah and then she starts talking about how
Adam's finally moving out. And she's like,
I said, honey, do you need help moving? Here's everything. Your watermelon radishes,
your skateboard, your unwashed socks, the razor you never use.
You're just for men. Yeah, you're just going to say your boxer peroxide.
I was gonna say your boxer peroxide. Your little foiled oil-ish, you put in your hair
when you highlight it.
Get out! Get out!
Get out!
I lost my car, all boys.
I had been working on it for a few weeks,
and now I've gone the other way.
I've regressed, so now I'm back to croaking like,
ehh!
You know?
I'm basically just Marge Simpson on her dying breath.
I leave everything to Lisa!
Ah!
I'm clearly got him stuff.
So meanwhile, Ramona goes and visit D'Arinda.
She's like, I want all the teeth about the wedding, okay?
I want all the teeth.
So I learned that word.
Look, I'm hit.
Don't give me details.
Give me teeth.
Hey, I need teeth.
I learned it from a 22 year old girl who ever bond with very special.
She gave me very good voice about eggshells.
I don't remember what, something about like make sure to crush all the eggshells.
I don't know. Would you like me to do the
project rabbit before you give me the teeth? So then Durinda Durinda is just
giving her the teeth and at one point she starts talking about how like yeah we all
went to the leopard lounge. Everyone goes everyone went there. That's nice.
Yeah, Raman is really laying it on thick for this.
She's like, oh, she looks gorgeous.
Like, she looks like she's from the magazine of like ladies,
you just take in rich, you know, sluts into there a lot.
Like, if there was a magazine about that,
she would be the cover girl.
What a cute.
And Durin is like, yeah, I almost forgot the girl's wedding.
I forgot to book my tickets.
And in the week before, she texted me like, you're gonna come to with wedding. I forgot to book my tickets. And then the week before she texted me like,
you're gonna come to the wedding with me here.
And I was like, oh my god, it's the wedding.
I forgot.
Totally forgot.
Good thing I got this tissue paper.
Oh.
Little under there, I'm in Palm Beach
out to the leopard place.
It's the next day and I get an example. You know I get it
Jack you're supposed to be here if you're here you make up etc etc. And I thought oh my god
I'll go over the tipsy and noon and then I forgot my bridesmaid's dress
And then I found out I was in Palm Springs not Palm Beach. Oh my god
I said Palm desert. That's close, right?
So then next thing I knew I get off the plane, you know, 16 hours later.
And I'm like, what? Why am I at the Palm and Dubai? Oh God.
You can't marry the palms and Vegas, right?
She said, no, it's a good God, jeez, I'm only down somewhere
but I don't remember. Hey, you want to say how much you make a sandwich?
So for a moment, it's like, oh, well, I guess now they're going to have a party for people
who didn't get to go to the wedding. It's going to be called the party of the discards.
Yeah. Ramona's not into it. She's like, I'm not into it. And you know what, I'm with her.
I think it's insulting.
is not into it. She's like, I'm not into it. And you know what, I'm with her. I think it's insulting.
Well, it's also obviously something, Bravo was like, well, can we at least have an after party? That's true. In New York, and they're like, here, we got this room at the bottom of a
mario for five dollars room for you. Yeah. It has three tables with, you know,
some tablecloths wrapped around them. You can do that, right? Meanwhile in Chinatown, Bethany's like,
look at that, it's like an entire octopus.
Like, can you believe that?
It's like a seriously, an entire octopus and a giant pig.
You know, it's like, it's what people eat.
They just don't see it up close first.
You know, it's like if there was a cow hanging there,
would people still eat it?
I don't know.
Have these women never gone to Chinatown in all their lives?
They were, I mean, they were like, look at that.
It's like, Chinese lunch, right?
It's like a different alphabet.
It's not even different language, different alphabet. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's a group's gravel. I got them, I got them, like, literally go. Like, how do I like it's like a different alphabet It's like it's not even it's not even different language different alphabet like you had read it to me
It's like script scrapbook like I don't get it like literally like how do I write skinny girl?
And then like how did they see my brand?
And then you did I read my brand and I understand my brand like how did I see the girl in China's like like what is this?
Are we still in America like I don't get it in China? They're all skinny. So it's just called girl
But girls are looking at the pots. We actually call it boy
It's called boy. Drink boy.
So she's like a...
They go to an ice cream parlor.
Yeah, they go, yeah. They go to a good ice cream.
And they're like,
I got a Chanel Paris for $10.
And Bethany is like, yeah, it's like everything's a little different here.
Like, different, little different flavors. Like vanilla ice cream, both sesame seeds. And it's like sesame ice cream with like, yeah, it's like everything's a little different here like different different flavors like vanilla ice cream
O sesame seeds and it's like sesame ice cream with like vanilla beans in it like it's everything's a little different here Carol
And she's like I don't have chocolate, please and at one point at one point Carol goes what's blueberry lavender and the girl goes
It's blueberry with a hint of lavender
And that's when we go what do you think it was
I thought like blueberry was like Chinese for chocolate I'm definitely going, what do you think it was? I don't know.
I thought like blueberry was like Chinese for chocolate.
I don't know.
What did you say?
And I just have chocolate.
The lady gives her chocolate and Beth thinks it's a good, is it good?
She goes, it's chocolate ice cream.
They just suddenly turn into like the most hilarious, like old Jewish ladies, you know?
Like, so wrong that I got chocolate ice cream. No, it's your life. They just suddenly turned into like the most hilarious like old Jewish ladies, you know
So wrong that I got chocolate ice cream. No, it's your life living your life. It's your world So yeah, so I got chocolate you got your thing. What's the big it says you know what we're alive. We have our help
That's all that matters right yeah, you're right, okay, all right
Yeah, I see I say I can't go up to the counter be like can I have health like they don't do that
But you know work. We're grateful to have it, You know, it's not something that's on the menu.
That's what I'm saying.
I have to help the game.
What's in the green tea?
What's in the green tea?
I ask it's fucking teeds.
It's green tea.
It's frozen like ice cream.
Oh, tastes like chocolate.
Although I have to say I often think that green tea ice cream tastes like chocolate.
So I was with Carol.
You have a soup.
Beep.
Up.
So Sonia is moving stuff in her house with Connor.
She's like, well, where should I move these dresses?
Where should I move these sparkle dresses from 1983?
I don't want to disrupt the spider that lives there,
but sorry, I just totally talked over you.
Sorry, everyone.
It's better.
No, that's better.
No, that's better.
Because some of you never had a secretary job.
I'm like, who am I talking about?
It doesn't matter because listeners couldn't tell what either of us were saying,
because I talked at the same time as you.
Chocolate!
Chocolate ice cream.
So she's moving stuff and she's like, well, you know,
he's gone from 11 to 7 to 7,
11.
She keeps saying that.
She's like, well, that was here all the time, you know.
So I figure if he's going to make slushies all day, he might as well have his own room
to do it.
So we're me and Connor are moving things and I told him, you know, I said, you're on
tensile list that I made tensile.
You know, you should be with her because, because you know you're going to want to have babies
And then he said well what's wrong with adoption and then she falls down on the ground
And then tensile is like walks and she's like hey, can I get rid of some of the stuff that animals it up says
I think they're hovering my drums. I can't get rid of this cold. That's really affecting the curls in my head. They're iconic, you know
I feel like I'm in Lisa Vanderpump's house. She said
in my head. They're iconic, you know. I feel like I'm at least a van der Prumts house, she said. Did she say that? That's hilarious. Yeah, I feel like it's least a van der Prumts
house. Every time I open my eyes, there's a fucking animal staring at me. And she's like,
your floor is already a wind tunnel. We have moved everything out of there except 5,000
stuff animals except for all the old Macintosh classics.
She's like, how come French? He gets to make changes because she's like, well, French, he doesn't like the dining room table. So we're going to have to move it.
And you know, French, he doesn't like the egg station. He wants a better egg station.
So we're going to make that work. She's like, but I can't move a stuffed animal.
Come on.
You don't be for longer than French. Come on. Do you want me to call by dad in here?
My dad is so good to lecture you. Hey, Kata could you forget the box? Stop telling Connor to bring in your boxes.
You're distracting him from the very important work of standing here and looking at me.
Connor is thinking about ex-stations and ex-stations only young lady. Nextations.
Bethany shows up to the rec room for this wedding party.
She's like, what, Seriously? I'm the only person here.
It's like me and a waiter and like one other girl, I don't know.
Like, what is this a manage? Like, what is this manage yet?
Yeah, I want to do it. Y'all want to do it.
You might have to put down the wine tray.
I'll do it. I'll do it.
How long are you going to do that waiter? Just like I'll walk her. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll walk her for that waiter.
Just like, he and Bethany in a rec room,
the basement of some place.
Like, what, I wouldn't know what to do.
And Bethany is just standing there in the corner,
just standing there.
And he's standing there with like 15 wine glasses,
like some buses about to stop.
Like, you can put down the tray, buddy, OK?
Now's time for his cigarette.
Yeah, I like Bethany's attitude, because it's time for a cigarette. Yeah, I like
Bethany's attitude because she goes, I did collar a whole, I did collar a whole year ago. So this
is the station I deserve the aftermath party. Hello. Yeah, I like when she did that. She was like,
yeah, you know, so then Durinda shows up and like there's too many celebrations. It's like,
you know, it's like those people who celebrate their birthdays for a month,
but he's like, it's like Ramadan.
And the reminiscence just like, so they're like, yeah.
Mineruna.
What?
Mineruna done?
I got to say.
Reminded of Linshan.
I was gonna look up Ramacan, but I forgot.
I take my ramacans, I love Ramacan's like a little
acrimberalized.
I'll be talking about Bethany.
So Luanne and Tom arrive and
they're exhausted, obviously.
And Luanne's like, look, can you
believe the girls are married?
And she's me.
Here I am married to Tom.
I'm married girls.
So, wow, congratulations.
Wow.
How was it Tom?
He's like, great.
Because he looks away from her.
Yeah, it's like this fucking coming out.
Why am I here?
So she, the guy's telling us, I'm just so happy.
I'm so, oh, my partner in life.
Oh, it was my partner.
You know, I'm married, girl.
There was a long line for Tom.
And I didn't cut in line.
I just got in line.
Yeah.
Oh my goodness. And then Ramona shows up and she's like, it's draping dreary. You're okay. I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
Sorry.
Yes, they bring out of money. Okay.
It's been all their money down in Florida.
And now they got nothing left this rec room. I'm sorry. It's not fair.
She brings Avery. Avery's like, hello, Bethany. And now they get nothing left this rec room. I'm sorry. It's not fair
She brings a dream every every's like hello Bethany. I love that little thing on your address and Bethany's like oh Yeah, yeah, thanks. Hi
What's the matter? What's what I'm like? She's like no, no, I'm avery. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you're an intern
You want something to drink? Well actually, I'm looking for some public green. Oh, it's like water to me. Yeah, it's water to everybody
You want some? Hey, can we get some water?
Bubbles?
All right, where's the water?
Where's the water?
That's what I call the waiter.
Where's the water?
Where's the water?
Where's the water?
Where's the water?
Where's the water?
Where's the water?
So, Tim, you look marvelous.
Thanks for the water.
Where's the water?
Here's the water.
OK, Avery, here's the water. The waiter's, where's the water? OK, where's the water? Here's the water. OK, Avery, here's the water.
The waiter's, where's the water?
OK, where's the water?
Here's the water.
So Tinsley shows up and she's brought her 23 year old
date, which I think is, first of all, it's kind of cute
because they went on their first date like six weeks ago.
So the fact that she's still bringing him around, you know, it was cute,
you know, she deserves it. Get it, get that cute little ass. Yeah, that curler is working hard
for you, girl. Yeah. And Ramona is like, look, she followed my advice and she got a god, you know,
but it's like she got a baby. I mean, he's more appropriate for you free. They are literally the same
age. So she's 23, she's 22. So, you know, he probably
doesn't even know what short maize from his faba jays. So Tom, Tom's like, oh, yeah, this
wedding ring is so heavy. Like my left shoulder is like literally lower. Like it's really hard.
And I told Lou Av, I don't even want to wear a ring, but she made me. So the woman who I am.
Yeah, everyone's just looking at him like you are so classless.
And he goes, yeah, and Luang, she put her heart and soul into this wedding.
She just did such a great job with this wedding.
Her whole heart and soul was in there.
And Monica's, yeah, Luang could be amazing when she puts her mind to it.
He's what.
Lewand didn't even bother flinching at that. She's like, I
don't have the energy to deal with this stupidity right now.
I'm going to build that red.
And we're going to leave the girls.
The got the up.
So then she's still here.
Money can't buy you.
Yada yada yada.
So during dinner, Ramona, um, jump all over Frenchie because Sonia has bought Frenchie.
She's like, look girls, it's Frenchies.
Like, oh, Bozhu, the station.
And they're like, oh, yeah, look at him.
Oh, it's Frenchy. We've heard of you, but we've never seen you. We didn't know you were
real or whatever. And he's like, oh, yes, I am. Yo, I am. I'm so you know. And then they
just start jumping all over him. And then Sonia turns to him and right in front of them,
she's like, oh, you just, I don't even know what to do with myself when you're here.
Because I don't even know what to tell the girls about you because I just said you were Frenchy like I keep you in a cage. Oh, what?
Sunni was like orgasming all over Frenchy and everyone's like, ah, that's disgusting.
Let's look at cute Chad instead. And then meanwhile Steve disgusting. So Carol's there. She has
like a cute little outfit on and then John walk spice like hello
You know, I can shrink that down a little bit more for you if you want
And great
Yeah, that's why I fit want me to shrink it for you
Yeah, he's gross. He's wearing like a baseball cap
And then there's like a weird moment where Tom starts talking about how
Luana is a great cook and
he's like
Ah
Really? Have you seen her cook? He's like no, she's a great great cook. She can make pasta runny like no one else
Are you sure? And Luana goes, yes, I made a pasta
And then when I go, yes, I made a pasta.
I got the recipe from Sonia.
Whenever she starts talking like Giata, he knows she's lying. Yeah, I made it my past.
And then Sonia comes up to Luana and Tom, like, oh, hi, hi, and Tom tells Sonia, oh, hi, like, wish you could have been at the wedding.
I'm like, that's really insulting to tell someone
that you just invited.
I love these women though, because they don't hold anything back.
Yeah.
Because who gives a speech?
Well, before the speech, Tom kisses Luanne,
and when he kisses her, he like places hand around her neck.
I was like, whoa.
Oh, yeah, he's like, oh, that bastard grabs her neck and kisses her. She was like, whoa. Oh, yeah, he's like, oh, that pasted and grabs her neck and kisses her. She's like,
it's time to catch the Thanksgiving turkey in a tom. It's like our own White House tradition already starting. I love my new partner.
Well, it's also my new playmate, playmate of your tom da casino.
Tom. So then Dorendi gets up to make a speech, um speech and she's like, she gets up and she goes,
you know, I love this great, great wedding. You know, I came out of feeling so much better about
everything. I think, well, good. I'm glad you felt better. That's what matters. Yeah, what a great,
great vote of confidence. Personally, I was nostalgic to Durindy's speech from last year,
and I have it here
since I feel like it's worth revisiting because it's such an amazing speech. Do you want
to really get back? Yeah, let's do it. To the same guy, I'm so happy that you know, that
I am part of this. And then you put a log down, make sure to face it, you know, at a moment
in time, that moment happens. Every once in a while, you know, you just know when it's right.
And it's right.
Classic.
At the moment, it's time. That moment happens.
It is no answer.
No, it's just, you know, I like me a sound once again. That's grand Richard.
That is my favorite. Yeah, I'm only 10 a moment happens.
That's when a moment happens in a moment, Dan.
Moments, 10, 10 moments.
I have another audio clip here that says Durenda slurring.
It's four seconds. I don't remember what it is, but I feel like playing it.
I feel like it's in the spirit of the episode.
More she goes out, she's doing better than she knows she's dying.
Yeah, just more to Rinda. Yes, Rinda, it's been a while.
Yeah, you've been doing the worst
you've been doing is better than what you've been doing.
Hey, we're from the Berks, we're people,
we're from the same people from Black,
we grew up in this moment times and stuff.
And that's what it's like.
She's berserk right now.
So, she's just like waving her wine by the lense.
The game is way I was the beach.
I can't catch him.
I can't go pull on his dress.
I'm going to get a kid's beef.
It's a beach.
Not well, bitch.
So Tom's like, thanks for that speech.
And she's, hey, Tom, in your speech, I bet you say
wouldn't speech a game. And he's like, OK, well, you gave a great speech. You always make it nice.
Yeah. That's what I said. That one time is maybe nice. It's on t-shirts.
God bless this cast.
And then Tom continues his new and new and put her heart and soul into that wedding so
that we can have our true friends and family there.
Yes, oh my god, what a douchebag.
She's like, I gotta get outta here.
Like, what's that, my gosh, huh?
Dorenda Yelves.
Yeah, the friends you were in violin.
Who's so happy.
Yeah, the friends who fucked my husband, I gotta go.
I gotta get outta here.
Ha, ha, ha.
Oh my god, Tom.
What a show.
A piece of work.
So, so fun.
Well everyone, thanks for listening.
Tomorrow we're back with Southern Trump's Savannah.
Always fun.
And then it's the weekend.
It's the freaking weekend.
Gonna have us some fun, everyone.
So, hope y'all follow us on
social media and everything. Go check out what we posted with Hannah before it expires. And we'll
talk to you tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye everybody. Bye. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to
the podcast today. We really appreciate the love and support you guys show us. If you have a minute,
go to iTunes and leave a review. And if you don't want to do that maybe next time you're talking to your
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