Watch What Crappens - #485 Southern Charm Sav: The Daddy Issue
Episode Date: June 23, 2017This week on Southern Charm Savannah, Hannah wants more weight on Louis’ shoulders, Nelson hangs with the bros, and Ashley barfs on herself. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcra...ppens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Ben Mandelker the B side blog
Vanderblander L.O. Bean howdy-duty y'all
How's it going, baby?
Howdy-duty y'all. How's it going, baby?
Great because
This episode of Southern terms of Anna was quite funny and it's also Friday two great things I like funny things and Friday would a Friday everybody have a great weekend
I don't even know what I'm gonna do yet this weekend and that's how I like it
Yeah, well, I'll say what I'm gonna do I'm gonna get drunk and tell someone my deepest darkest secrets at a bar on TV.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Oh girl, you better do it over my house.
Yeah.
I'd love to get some secrets on you, drunk.
Oh yeah, I don't really have any secrets, isn't that sad?
You know, I don't either because I have such a big
fucking mouth.
I just talk about them all on this show.
Well, let's get into Southern terms of Anna
because we actually both have a hard out.
So let's dive into it today, shall we?
Well, everybody's packing to go to some trip and the contrast between this and the other
Southern Charms, this one reminds you of how poor everybody is right at the beginning
because they're all doing their own laundry.
Yeah, I was thinking about this because we learned the season finale
of Southern Trump's Savannah's next week.
And you know, you really see,
like I really start to wonder,
I don't know if this show's gonna come back
because I just don't know if it fits Bravo.
You know, these people are just not wealthy enough
to be on the Southern Trump brand or in the franchise
or in Bravo.
I'm like, this show is really funny and I enjoy it.
But is this is this wealthy enough?
Is this this?
I mean, I know the people on Vandipun rules aren't wealthy,
but the whole thing is they're around at least a Vandipun who's very wealthy.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, like below deck, they're not wealthy, but they're, you know, wanting.
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, if they if they fire a couple of people
on this one, and just get a couple of wealthy ones, I mean, Nelson's wealthy. No, so in theory,
yeah, it's like too many apartments with entrance to the alley.
Townhouses. Not enough golf carts driving through the streets. Oh God. Yeah, everyone, the plan is that the whole gang
is going to St. Simon's, which is, I guess,
a beach community down there in Georgia,
for the Georgia Florida weekend,
the big Georgia Florida game,
and there's gonna be a party at Hannah's dad's house,
and Louis Hannah's boyfriend, maybe fiance,
I think just boyfriend, is hosting this party. And this
is an important thing because Louis, like Hannah always has to do everything, but Louis
is going to do this party. And Hannah hasn't lifted a finger for it because it's a test for
Louis.
Yeah. And this is like the Louis Hannah relationship episode. Yeah, so he comes in he's like
Hannah
Hey, Hannah, what you doing? Don't you and she's like well, oh, he says don't you think packing is better than night before?
She's like well, we could have if we weren't taking Louis do it in last night
She says so now what's the plan? Okay, this is flower weekend or something.
And Louis is hosting with my dad.
So that's gonna be a test with Louis
taking responsibility.
Hey, Louis, are you gonna take,
are you gonna go full Louis today?
And he's like, are you gonna take care of me?
She's like, this is the perfect opportunity
for Louis to not go full Louis.
Because it's time for Louis to carry some
weight around here. Okay. I love the test of their relationship is whether or not Louis will unfold a
card table. That's it. That and it's not even a real one. It's like those target like one pound.
Yeah. That are like briefcases. And the sad thing is he failed the test ultimately.
And the sad thing is he failed the test ultimately. That's the sad part.
It's such a sad test and that he, he, he, he failed downwards.
Yeah, he was like, what?
He will be directing the next Jurassic Park.
So anyway, so, so meanwhile, so they, so they head off down to St. Simon.
And it's, it's another one of these episodes where everyone's in a car on a road trip.
And Ashley and Nelson are driving. And Ashley is bitching to Nelson about how Hannah had the balls to not even
go to her when she is the fashion expert and fashion is her job and her life and Hannah didn't even
come to see her and Nelson is just in the passenger side going work. Yes girl, work, work,
That's what I'm saying. Girl, bye.
Also, she's kind of changed her rhetoric because now she's like, I just don't understand
why Ashley wouldn't come to me and say Hannah, yeah, I don't understand why Hannah wouldn't
come to me and say, you know what, girl? I need, I would love your help.
Cause I would love to mentor her.
This is how, this is how we could have bonded.
I mean, this is what pays for this card now, son.
It's what puts the food on my table.
He's like, mm-hmm, work and work.
Hey, you know what, if we pull over,
I'll get some beef workie.
How about that?
That would be delicious.
She's like, I thought it was Delta Airlines that popped the car
and put the food on the table, but maybe that's just me.
I had a house in the hills, Nelson.
He's like, well, I said I did.
Does that count?
So then in the other car, Hannah says,
this was Louis responsibility, this party. Like right now we're in the other car, Hannah says, this was Louis
responsibility, this party, like right now we're in the car.
And if there's gas, I don't know because it was his
responsibility, hopefully he's ready to carry the weight.
Hey, Lumi, are you ready to carry some weight?
Wow, in the back seat goes, this should be fun.
Hi, Lumi, you got to cover that way
You see here's what I here's why this is not that it would be a problem because on any other show
It would have been that Louis is organizing a fund razor and
300 people are showing up and they need to raise $10,000
Here he needs to put out some car tables and get some beer and maybe some oysters definitely some napkins and like I don't know a cooler
It's Savannah call the dominoes let me for Christ's sake so
Carry weight carry weight carry weight
And she goes well, I'm gonna get a breakdown from my dad about how much weight you carried. So I would suggest that you put some
weight on and carry it. And I was like, well, hi, when you dad getting married, hand.
I was like, Oh, my God, I have so much anxiety because divorce, divorce, blah, blah,
blah, divorce. Oh, so they get to the dad's house. Yeah. Meet the, meet the famous dad who
left the mom and cheated on the mom and meet the famous infamous Sarah this step mom.
I have to insert at this point.
No matter what we say about this show, I actually like these people.
All of them pretty much.
Oh, just and the cash.
And I especially like Hannah because Hannah reminds me of my little sister.
She's always a responsible one.
She's always carried that weight
of being the responsible one.
Well, I'm off not folding cart, unfolding cart tables.
Like I get it.
And I want everything to be good for Hannah.
And when she comes to this house and we see that dad,
I was like, oh no, this is not gonna work out.
This is not gonna be good.
I felt it.
I felt the ring cloud.
It was weighing upon me, Hannah. I was there. Yeah. I felt it. I felt the rank that it was weighing upon me Hannah
I was there. Yeah, I know I was already like oh no, this is
Between Hannah and her father this there's some definitely some awkwardness. So meanwhile on the other car
This is the car that Lyle is actually and I think the the guy I forget I think his name was Nelson not Nelson
Oh, you're right. It was some dude like there's some dude that was like lean grace and that his name was
Grayson. Grayson. That was like that's like the girl from top chef that we can never remember her name
a couple of weeks ago. So in the Catherine Lyle Daniel car Catherine is like, hey guys, I've
read some crazy story on Facebook where apparently someone posted something about like I got
woken up by my drunk name at this morning breaking my window, and then in the comments, I saw it was Ashley,
and she broke a window in a drunken rage.
I was like, what?
And Lyle was like, you know what?
She's an aggressive knucker and a bullshitter.
And then I've read Nelson and Ashley's car, Nelson's like,
you know, I appreciate these games on a social aspect. I've made
up a Daniel and in silvery, and this is meant to be bygones be bygones. Here's what I'm
looking for with these bros, some fellowship, some good old fashioned fellowship. Objection a objection to the union
and
delivery continued to buy guns
fellowship
so it's a fellowship that was
nearly a Broadway song about
the fellowship
something is that from book of
warming i think so
his fellowship reminds me of
church it's like
staff to church for some
fellowship working to have some
tyrofoam cuts full of coffee,
some cookies from Publix.
And we're gonna talk about our favorite subject.
Jesus, that low shit, fellow shit.
Well, the dads were like, hey, got a deal, buddy.
I, it always makes me think of Lord of the Rings.
Oh yeah, cause they had a fellowship as well.
Hey, proud out.
I'm so sorry I said that word.
I do not mean to say that.
Mm-hmm.
Nelson could be gallim.
Yeah, I'm so sorry what I did about that ring.
Remember how I took that ring for me?
That would not send me.
I'm better than that.
Fellowship.
I'm better than that.
Let's come this way.
I can lead you the way. We're going to run to motor this way. Am I precious? Am I fellow ship. I'm better than that. Let's come this way. I can lead you the way we go right into motor this way my precious my precious my precious
That's what lady sadly
That's what she was does
Hannah's like one of the elf people like like what's his face Orlando Bloom
But like when she shows up she's like
Honestly Frodo like when I found out that
you were trying to go to mortar and you didn't even ask me about it like I was so upset this
was a chance for us to bond Frodo like this is my living I know how to get to mortar you didn't
even tell me okay and I just gonna walk through here and expect me to go to mortar with you like
that's fucked up like I'm already ostracized as an elf as it is I'm already she's the hobbit
who's carrying all the weight. She's salmon.
She's like we carry the shrink box for me. Damn it. Me again. Here it is me again. So the
dad is doing. How many spiders I've been caught in a web pub? Hello, honey. Look at this giant
spider, honey. This is my terrible Hagrid. He's not even from the same movie.
I can't believe I'm going into Brigaduin now.
Well, I hear giant spider, and I just immediately
want to say.
Hey, Paul, tell me.
So now back to that.
Now that Ben and I are both drunk,
it's Friday at the end.
Now back at the speaking of which, back
at the Nac barbecue uh... they're
like
had basically had another battle like well we've done everything
uh... but now we're those oysters louis is like oh yeah i didn't get them
because if you may remember from my last party
we had rancid oysters so uh... thought maybe skip the uh... oysters time around
just like
the one thing that louis supposed to do is get the oysters and you didn't get the
oysters. There's a sham of a relationship. And also the
dad is like, Hey, Lou, let's do some shots together. Well,
you're not getting oysters. So she's pissed at both of them
now. This dad is not helping at all. Yeah. So Rachel and Chris,
I don't know who these people are. Chris guy, I don't know
who these people are. Oh God, don't know who these people are. That's absolutely. Oh god damn it.
Yes, Chris and Rachel.
Oh my god.
I would love to see your note taking methods sometime.
I have all these ever note things open.
And while one's on commercial and watching the other one,
that's why I do it like that.
So Chris Harrison shows up at the Georgia Florida game.
And he's like, how can I facilitate this?
Anything you need.
I'm like, wait a minute.
That's actually decent party throw or Chris Harrison.
It would actually be helpful if he gave Hannah some roses
and let her choose.
Yes, I choose Hilton Highland.
And what's the other one?
Holiday.
Highland.
Someone, someone messaged us.
It was like holiday fucking in because last week we're like, why are Hannah's sisters
all named H?
They're all like hotel names.
Like, hi, hi, Hilton.
And what's the other one?
And someone was like, holiday in.
Someone else suggested Hampton.
That is when we know we have you guys beating on your steering wheels and we can't think
of something so simple like that.
I love it. I mean, there's a whole song by Chiggy about it for crying out loud. So,
so at this point, so again, like, Louis trying to do some decorations and, and, and Hannah
says, it starts again, saying things like it's really important that Louis takes initiative
with the party. I mean, when it's not fun, can we get through the hard stuff together? I'm like, it's a fucking football game. All right. Like, this is... You're putting too much into this
right now. You guys, yeah. It's not this important, okay, guys. Yeah. And now it's like the dads,
because I think the dad and Hannah have like this, they're chatting, oh, because she's crying right
there about like, is it, is it taking initiative? And then it's like, well, game time, let's let's get this party started and they go up
front that the target tables are unfolded and it's like, where's Louis?
And so her dad, like, hand in her dad's are setting it up.
They like unfold the car table and they put ice in the cooler and they put like little
signs up and Louis comes back 15 minutes later.
It's like, where were you? We've been we've been setting up. I'm like, it's been 15 minutes.
It's not been like three hours of setup without Louis. Now Louis, a ball has been dropped. Okay?
It has been dropped. Now Louis, this is where she goes into mom mode and she grabs his shoulders
and she's talking really slowly and like bugging her eyes out in his eyes. She's like,
shoulders and she's talking really slowly and like bugging her eyes out in his eyes. She's like, Louis, you've got to change.
Okay.
You left.
He's like, what do I got to be here for?
Everything's being delivered far about.
So you are hosting a party.
Okay.
When you host your stay put until everything's done.
He's like, well, I'm happy to help.
You know, I've been saying it the whole time. So just tell me whatever you need me to do.
And then he's slamming the ice down going, this is bullshit.
Well, by the way, a great way to prove initiative to your girlfriend is to say, well,
I'm happy to help with whatever I can at the party I'm throwing that you're pretty happy.
Like, I'm glad you're happy to help with the thing you're supposed to be doing.
Yeah, this is one of those times where I would just have to say you are with a man who refused
to grow up and he's charming in his ways.
And the good parts are that he's charming and he's funny and he makes you lighten up.
And the bad parts are that he's not.
So that's what you got. Okay.
That's what you've got.
So now Louie wanted or not?
Because you're not gonna change him.
So now Louie's crabby, Hannah's crabby,
and everything's crabby,
but has Louie learned his lesson?
Yes, he's learned his lesson,
and people start to show up,
and then there's like someone in Grayson there,
there's another Hannah, there's a Megan,
and then like real Hannah starts taking the tin fall off the buffet and she's like, it's
very TPT looking trailer park trash.
I'm like, there were like a lot of things I could have said at that moment, but I'll just
defer to the shots of Fireball you guys are all doing okay and I love that they're a little airline
Pottles just to rub it into Ashley
Hey, and on your way out we've got some git baggage
Okay, so this is where my notes were a little confused so it's the next part happy and awesome arriving. Or did you already say that? Okay, so we passed that a bit, right? What? Huh?
We happy and awesome. Okay, yeah. Because I was still like trying to
organize my bachelor notes. Okay.
And it was funny because you were like, is the next part happy coming out?
I was like, yes, you're like, okay, so we're past that. Okay. No, no. Okay, so
this is like, break, stop, stop, red light, red light. So I love when they're
walking in and they're not even in the house yet,
and happy because Hannah said this at not Louis, I'll bet.
Well, because they're all these little girly signs,
like chicken thighs, chicken wings, drumsticks.
You know, no guys, you know, like separate them out like that.
It was a big, big old pile of chicken.
So Catherine, okay, so I see. So Catherine. Okay, so happy. Happy is already
mad. More happy. So happy is mad because she's mad at Ashley because she's like, well,
you know, Ashley's always screaming at Hannah and that's like not okay with me. So basically,
she just wants to excuse to fight with Ashley because everyone says I'm gonna do one. Yeah, she's gotta earn her play, you know her rent. So Catherine's like, well, I saw
On mania where you taught what is it?
Yeah, social whatever and she there was a neighbor and apparently the neighbors said something and then she said something
And then she punched his door out.
He's like, what? I'm not okay with doors being punched out. I mean, what would we do without doors?
Without doors, you know, there's no way to keep my mom out. I mean, without doors, my mom could
just stand there on the welcome mat talking about how much she discriminates against my relationship.
I mean, doors keep dust out. I'm not okay with this.
It's like what sort of society doesn't have doors. What we can be like, one of those weird societies that has houses on stills in the ocean and just walk in and out just like that.
That's not a society.
Jim Morrison does not deserve that no one penches the doors
Okay, so Think Catherine's like, you know, it's funny. Look. I had such a nice talk with her
And I'm but now I feel bad talking behind her back and happy goes
You know I
Struggle with feeling like sad and then I hear things like this and this isn't sad. This is madness
Yeah
Also, I saw this link to an iPhone
cord that is a magnet you never have to plug it. It's like stay on track Catherine stay on track
Ashley arise and she's like
Are you David? How are you? I'm Ashley, not to me.
Like, whoa.
Look at my clever Jersey.
Whoa, it was like a damaged Jersey, but it's not.
It's not a grown Ashley.
Calm down Ashley, you've never talked like that.
Yeah, let's see how that.
Yeah, a lot.
And then Lyle, so this is kind of funny.
Lyle goes up to Nelson to ask him what he wants.
I mean, he just goes up to Nelson to say hi.
And he goes like, what's up, Nelly?
I'm like, you know, Lion, that's just mean.
Yeah, you want to get about, get on about offensive sling.
And Nelson, I love that Nelson's like, hello, bro.
And he's like, he's doing that like one arm hug thing
like over the shoulder. He's like, yeah, okay, one arm. All right.
Okay, all right. This is this is this is right. This feels comfortable. This is a normal browse.
Rose before
Holes that what it is. No, you can work on that one, Nelly. I'm last like. Hi, dial Sid. You want to play some cord hole?
I only played what that when I'm impersonating that congressman sorry
Mellie
Well actually the corn staple is it's actually really going up if they're gonna say it's gonna be fun and all of Brazil's
Economy next few years Nelson. Do you want to play corn hole or not?
Okay, so Catherine goes up to to Ashley Nelson. She's like,
Ha, oh, Ashley had to cut your hand. And that's the
goes long story. Like all defensively. You got to head to
Catherine for trying, you know, yeah, all been solved. So
then are like fifth beer shotgun montage of the episode
happens.
And now happy and Ashley sit down, happy is like, Ashley, can I talk to you for a moment?
She's like, I just wanted to pull you aside briefly.
And I didn't want to make a big situation out of it.
I'm like, good luck with Ashley.
She hears the words, I don't want to make a big situation out of it.
And she, and what she actually hears is, I'm making a big situation. So get defensive right now.
Yeah. Yeah. She's what she hears is you're a stupid slut. Nobody likes stairs on there.
Nobody likes shoes on their stairs and skateboards are for children. Okay. Yeah. That's what she
hears. And so happy is like, I just, you know, like, I don't want to be sad, but like things are like kind of real sad,
but they're kind of like mad.
And like, you're kind of always irrational.
It's like a string of irrational things.
It's like, you always have issues.
Like, why?
I don't get that.
I'm asked just like, like, wait.
Well, you know, like punching someone's door,
you know how you punch the door, the glass
and the door and that's an issue.
She's like, no, she goes, well, I find that hard to believe because, you know, I see different
sides of doors and-
And she goes, you know what, I feel attacked.
I feel bullied, which is her go to for anything.
Like if someone is, she's like, you know what, I think I'll have the clams casino today.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm at that.
Well, why are you attacking me? Why are you bullying me?
Huh?
Yeah, you know, have a club sandwich.
You're not gonna let me in the club.
Bullying, that is bullying.
Hey, you know what, happy?
Can I have one event where I'm not bullied?
Can I please just go to one event?
And I just get into my negligee and not be bullied.
And happy. And happy and happy because oh so you
don't feel like you're bullying Hannah and she goes um no because look happy look you have two on
your side you have Catherine and Hannah okay you have two by your side who's by me okay you guys
are confident because you have people beside you. Okay, your name is
Huston. Happy. It was given to you. You're birthright. You were literally named happy
at birth. You know what I was named? Sad and bullied and they had to change me to Ashley
because I couldn't even deal with my name. I have a name. I can't deal with it. I can't
deal with it. Yeah, my original name was Ashley and it's like, oh, I'm the dry one. I had
to add an L to it when I was 13 just to be taken seriously by people. Okay. And it's like, oh, I'm the dry one. I had to add an L to it when I was 13, just to be taken seriously by people, okay?
And it's not bare.
It is not bare to me.
You guys have boyfriends.
And you know what?
Dennis, Dennis is sweet in everything.
But, you know, I don't have him to be there here for me.
And happy because you chose your situation.
And you don't like it.
Then you need to get out of it
Now she's like you don't understand I went to Australia and as an entire continent of people
Making fun of my name because they wouldn't say Ashley. They'd say she'll up
I'm like that is so rude why you make fun of my name? What's the wrong? My name? Actually? Why you saying it reverse?
It's mean have you ever had a con of people
making fun of you and not had a husband to back you up?
Like, whoa.
Have you ever watched a lotion commercial
where they say do you have Ashley's skin?
And then they write words on their arm
and then they put lotion on?
How do you think that makes me feel sitting there at home?
Dennis doesn't even understand when I start crying.
Like you have awesome, okay. I have no way. How do you think it makes me feel that the Bible says
ashes to ashes like what I'm only supposed to hang out to other ashlies? Like that's so rude.
What if I want to hang out with you? Happy. Apparently I can't. God says I can only hang out with
ashlies. How do you think I feel? And then Ashley says, you know, when Ashley's been got,
because she just quits down immediately.
And when someone's like, you married him,
you know, like you're the one who married him.
She's not shit.
Yeah, she's actually.
She's not shit.
It's not that simple.
And that's a naive thing to say to me.
It's like, naively.
And because I have never made a decision
based on what I wanted.
Okay, it's all been about easy since I was 20
and got pregnant.
Okay.
Should we make the appointment for the therapist now
for Izzy?
Okay, because that's really great.
That's great.
Blame everything on your child right now
on National TV.
Great work. I think she, well, she does, you know, that's really great. That's great. Blame everything on your child right now on National TV. Great work.
I think she, well, she does, you know, that was a thing
that was surprisingly with that, a surprising, surprising
with Ashley.
I thought that she was saying all this behind her husband's
back.
And at first I was like, this poor guy is going to watch
this show and see her saying, we never have sex.
We're not in love.
I don't even love him.
I'm only with them for the kid.
But no, she says it right to all that.
You know she's like this at home like, look, is he?
You know that me and your father don't have love and we're only doing this for you.
You know, I hope you're grateful.
And he's like, okay, great.
Thanks for poisoning me with your terrible cooking mom.
Going back to the attic now. I'm going to hang out with the ghosts.
He'll probably be the most normal.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
and Haley Bieber.
A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed
into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the
Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy
and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed
to sell albums?
Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya.
Well, whenever, you know, because you learn what crazy is and then you learn what kind of
normal is from his dad. Well, he seems like a great kid. And I don't actually, I'm sure that
actually didn't even mean to say it. You know, like she wasn't really blamey as he, but when
you're a kid, you hear it,
you can't help but be like, it's my fault, you know?
So it's like, oh my goodness,
if I can't believe you said that on TV.
But then, then of course, Ashley's like,
you don't know what it's like.
I was bullied at 10 a.m. on the street with my kid.
Do you know what it's like to be bullied?
I'm like, what?
Like, what is going on in this woman's life?
She lives a crazy, crazy life.
Oh, I think it was, wasn't it at night?
Did it happen? Oh, I thought she said, you have not been bullied at 9 p.m. on the street with your kid. That's what I brought.
I was 10 a.m. Because there's a guy said that they were woken up.
But the guy said I was woken up by a crazy person in the morning.
Oh, oh, God.
So that's what I heard. Either way, she's drunk and yelling probably at the husband.
He probably said shut up.
You drunk bitch.
And then she went and slammed his window.
So that's what it sounds like is what happens.
So who knows?
But somehow the women actually wind up being able to like see common ground.
And next, you know, Catherine Ashley or hugging, it's just like a big sloppy drunk girl extravagant stuff.
I don't know if it's the alcohol, but part of me
wants to take Ashley's weight and make Louis carry it.
So guess what?
More shot gunning beer.
I love that Nelson is in the pool with his shirt on.
Yeah, well, because grace and drag in there.
I know.
I know, but he stays in there like he never takes his shirt off. Yeah, well, because grace and drag him in there. I know, I know, but he stays in there like he
never takes his shirt off. That's so cute. That's so like me
in fifth grade and also at 41. Oh, sweet Nelson, sweet
socially awkward Nelson. Hi, let's go to a ball. Only the boys
and not the girls. Oh, all right, the Jewish one can come to you.
Wait, wait, I also have to say about that pool.
I am shocked that no one broke their neck.
That pool was like the size of my castamomatras.
And like, they were diving into that thing.
I could have sworn there was gonna be a drowning.
I was nervous.
Yeah, probably very shallow as well.
Well, that's a good metaphor.
So, um, yeah, so now the boys go to the bar, the girls can stay back.
Drunk time at the bars and guess what the guys do?
They do the most manly thing ever.
Order fireballs, more fireballs.
And I like when Laugh goes, hi, Nelson, what are you drink?
And whilst I guess, um, uh, whiskey ginger, whiskey ginger and Laugh goes, okay. and well sing us. Whiskey Ginger. Whiskey Ginger.
And lagos, okay.
And then the rest of us fireballs.
Because that's the manly drink.
I mean, Lord.
And then Nelson's behind them just like fitting in like grooving,
like doing the real vibe by himself.
You know, I do know he's like, he's like feeding himself up and says,
I'm not safe fireball. Why not safe fireball? Fireball nails and fireball.
God damn it Nelson. Fireball and ginger. Fireball and ginger. Fireball and ginger.
Fireball and ginger. Remind me.
Remember next time. Super Mario Brothers. Fireballs. Fireballs. They're the best thing in the world.
Okay. Great.
So,
Encelerance.
Encelerance.
Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. Encelerance. En and slow and slow and slow. So then, um, probably the best scene of the episode is back at the house.
The girls can't go out because Ashley got wasted, real wasted, and she's on the couch,
and she's like barely career.
And they're like, Ashley, we just were so glad we're friends.
She's like, uh, yummy, bullyully This rub is bullying me and it's like no
That rope is trying to carry the weight just let the rope carry the weight. We love you. Where your friend
We're here for you. She's like
She full on throws up on herself.
Like not into a bucket.
We're saying that she's lying there and she leans forward
and she throws up on her chest.
And listen, we've all been there.
I've been there.
I think I've done it two or three times in my life.
And of course it's not even her robe.
It's like Hannah's robe.
Yes, like Hannah's childhood robe.
Like the one good memory I have left of me
and my father's this robe.
Oh, well, okay. Well, there's there's that
Yes, you fully pukes and it's I mean, I don't know if it was editing whatever, but the fact is like Ashley
You have to drop the wall
It's how game of thrown in game of thrones ends
the wall And I also liked that the editors gave the sound effect
Yeah, it went the sound effect went like this
Like that doesn't even sound like barfing you guys it was one of those big wet barfs like one of those barfs
That's like you know she's been drinking they've been feeding her lots of water thing
It's gonna fix everything not realizing it's gonna all come up and they should have known because you know drunk girls. I mean guys might do it too
But drunk girls have a face when they're about to puke which is they smile
But like they don't show they keep their lips closed because there's like this weird thing
They can buy open my lips then I'm gonna throw up so they smile and then they sort of raise their eyebrows up
To sort of hoist up their eyelids to show that they're like awake
And then nod to everything and they look around with that little smile close mouth smile
Every single time when you see that smile, you know you've got 20 seconds left
Now the worst scene the most the most difficult scene to watch oh
This is Now the worst scene the most the most difficult scene to watch. Oh, this is okay. So Hannah's dad is out with the boys because he's wasted to you know he's been doing shots all night too.
So he's like nails and maybe we should have a talk. Now since I play. Oh, no.
We're not Nelson.
Oh, okay, this may come fitting in. Okay, dad.
and I'm turning into Mike grandmother instantly with not remembering anybody's name. So Hannah's dad takes a Louis outside and he's like, I just wanted to have a talk about
you with talk about Hannah with you.
And he is what he is the truth about me and what's his ex-wife's name?
Lauren or something? Yeah, I don't I'm trying to see if I don't I didn't write
down her name but he was like, I can't tell him. I can't fucking tell him. I was never in love with her.
Oh my god. Yeah, first. Yeah, first you think it's just that like I never was in love with
her, which is bad enough because no child wants to hear that from their parent for the
first time on TV. And you know, future son-in-law ever wants to hear that from their father-of-law
ever. It's like the worst. He's supposed to be trying to make a good impression to get
his daughter back in his life. And this is what he's doing. So it's like, I never loved her.
And if I could have I would have run away from the wedding.
And I don't want you to make that mistake.
If you don't, you know, you don't marry someone you don't love.
Boy, run!
He literally goes,
I love you more if you would like me
if it ain't there, it ain't there.
And he goes, I was like the most depressed motherfucker you could ever be leaving that wedding.
I was never in love with a not never.
Ever, Louie.
Don't do it.
Don't settle.
You'll turn around.
It'll be 23 years later.
Fucked.
And then Louie's like, well, but you know, I love Hannah and she's my best
friend. So I don't think we're going to have that problem is like, oh really?
Well, let me tell you, buddy, I'm the starting line. And the goons going off.
Run, boy. You keep on running until you can't run no more.
You think you think this folding table, it was that was it, but tomorrow it's another
folding table and the day after that's another folding table and suddenly your dares are
filled, unfolded and unfolded in tables and then 23 years passed and you see a big stack
of folding tables you think, where is my laugh, where am I custom socks, all I've been
doing is folding and unfolding guard tables.
The rest of your life is going to be folding tables and rotten labels on chicken salad at outdoor parties.
Run, boy.
You better run.
You made those socks now to run in them.
Run away.
Man, what a fucking piece of shit.
I hope Hannah watched this and cut his ass out of her life forever.
What a pig. You know, not only to be trying to talk the guy into leaving the daughter.
I mean, that is fucking disgusting and he blatantly did that.
And I know that in his weird logic, he actually wasn't thinking he was doing that. He was thinking like, he's like, he's saying she's just like her mother of fucking nag. You don't need to be nagged.
And then if you, when we started talking about the beginning of the show after seeing all
this, it totally made sense because he's like, come here, Louie, take some shots instead
of working doing all this stuff.
Well, because you can see that Louie is getting annoyed by Hannah and he was seeing himself
and Louie and was like, listen, it's not a match.
Just go.
Just go. But either way, still, piece of shit because, hey, good's not a match, just go, just go.
But either way, still, piece of shit because,
hey, good luck finding a woman who doesn't expect you to help her set up a fucking party, idiot.
Yeah, just any human being, how about getting a part in her?
Yeah, yes.
So, sorry Hannah, it didn't mean to compare you to a dog.
I was trying to make an analogy that didn't work out, but the point is this,
here's why this guy's a piece of shit,
he's a shit for a few different reasons.
A, he clearly has never said this stuff to Hannah
that he never loved the mom.
Because he said it right there, I can't tell them,
I fucking can't tell them.
So you're gonna get drunk and tell the guy like this guy
on TV when you're mic'd up,
and she's gonna have to find out either by watching the screener
when it comes out, or maybe Louise can have to, like that's more to find out either by watching the screener when it comes out or maybe Louise can have to like that's more to find it not only is it like devastating to like have whatever like
last thread that you cling onto like well they were in love but they fell out of love
or whatever like oh no they just were never in love like it was all a sham like that's
hard you have to find that on TV TV like that. But then like that,
he says all this stuff, encouraging your boyfriend to leave.
It's just, it's so bad.
And then you're also like,
now you're like, you've opened it all this family shit up
in a certain way to people like us, you know,
just to say what a piece of shit.
Like now she's got to listen to two schmucks like us,
talk about how her dad's a piece of shit.
And that sucks too.
Well, he is a piece of shit. And hope you know, it's almost better because if
Like anybody's listening to this, but if she ever was it's good to hear someone say your dad's a piece of shit
You can't say it no one in your family can say it you always have to be like no, no, it's my family
And I love them. No, that's bullshit. He's a piece of shit. Cut the cord and get away from that fucker
that he would do that to.
It's not cool.
And it gets worse.
Oh, it gets worse.
Yeah.
So she's sitting on the, she wakes up the next morning,
of course, with Louie.
And she's like, so my dad said that me and Louie
had a great conversation.
What happened?
And he's like, uh, it was great.
And Catherine is in between them in bed.
Catherine's with them in bed.
And she's like, did Nelson go, did Nelson go, the all?
And then Daniel comes in and gets in bed.
And Louis is like, you stink. God you stink. And then Daniel comes in and gets in bed and Louis like you think
God you think and he's like well, it's because I was sleeping on the couch with Ashley
Yeah, and Ashley by the way is now saying that she was pure pressure. She's doing all the fireball. Oh my god
Yeah, that that damn Applebee's waiter
They're the reason I'm fat.
I'm assuming Domino's.
Yeah, so, yeah, so everyone, yeah, Hannah's like,
oh, I heard you had a really good conversation with dad.
And he was like, yeah, it was interesting.
So then everyone leaves the place, let the house,
and Hannah stays back to talk with her dad.
And dad, I don't think the dad even remembers what he says.
Oh, that dad is nervous.
He is nervous.
He remembers.
Because he's like, yeah, I had a great conversation with Louis.
And he's, I think he is realizing he needs to be more involved.
That's what we talked about, a great conversation.
So, he looked nervous to me.
And she's like, well, what did he say?
And he's like, uh, erm, and so she goes, you know, it was just really,
it's just hard because like growing up, you and mom, you were such a team,
you know, and like you took charge.
And that's what I want from him, you know,
remember how you would just automatically unfold all those tables and like
pour out chips and a bowls and stuff.
I just, you know, like, I need them to be more like you.
And we're all floating in this new space where everything's a joke and he's like, well, you know,
that is his personality. Yeah. Which you know, like don't judge him because that's his, you know,
blah, blah, blah. Don't nag him. I mean, you should try to change someone. But like this Jack asked,
making his daughter look like an idiot right there. She's
saying you're talking about how like mom you and mom were such a team and this
guy the night before said he never even loved her. I mean, it's really, it's
really disrespectful. It is. And it was awkward to watch. So then we watched
pickleball. Pickleball. The salvo to everything. And this was just a stupid scene where basically Daniel,
Daniel and his dad and his brother and dad's friend, they play Pickleball, like, I'm really
interested in Pickleball, they all look Pickleball now, great. So, um, afterwards, Daniel sits down with
his dad and he's talking about how, you know, like, when his dad went to jail, Daniel had to,
you know, take over
the firm and he had a whole plan for his life and it was all derailed by it. And I thought
this is kind of a funny contrast with Ashley because Ashley is like, I've never been
able to do a decision for me. It's always been about Izzy and I, you know, Dennis and I can't
do anything for me. And Daniel's like, yeah, you know, I want to do something else, but
I had to do this instead. So anyway, I think I'm gonna do something else now
Yeah, he's like it's really hard living here when I have this reputation
You know everybody just looks at me and they judged me because of what you did the dad's like well
But being a successful law firm owner isn't good enough. That's not exciting enough
And he's like no, you know, I'm just wondering what Colorado would think of me. I'm like, oh, geez.
That's even like Les Bads.
Like you went into that hippie place.
You have enough trouble getting into the damn shower in Savannah, boy.
Listen, I think he should follow his dreams because that sucks.
He's clearly more of a free spirit type.
You probably want to have a startup or something or I don't know, play for his big off somewhere. And instead, he's got our manager, a free spirit type. You probably want to have like a start up or something or, I don't know, play Frisbee golf somewhere.
And instead, he's got our manage at law firm
because his dad was an embezzler.
But again, he doesn't like,
he so rarely has used that as like a crutch
for all this problems throughout the whole season
whereas Ashley's really like, she's got a,
she, Ashley girl, you got it,
you got to get it together.
You know, like, you got stuff going for you girl,
just like, you know,
follow happy advice. Listen to happy. Her name is happy. Yeah. So Ashley goes to her sister-in-law
to get a tattoo. So it's like these two majorly-tatted girls. And she's like, well, you know, Dennis,
it's like, you know, Dennis, I'm just like not in love and like it's struggling
So I want to I want to pray in mantis. That's what I want is my tattoo. I need like a praying mantis
Not don't are praying mantis is like vicious fucking bugs that tear the heads off other bugs
that well it's
Sort of yes, I mean there they're, I don't think inherently vicious like that,
but they are famously known for biting the head off of their male partner
after they have sex.
Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
So there is a bit of female, sometimes,
sexual cannibalism eating their mates after copulation.
Yeah.
So there you go.
She's just leaving him in for like a long breeze.
Just sending a little passive aggressive message to all future men. That was fucking disturbing
Which he asked for that. I was like wait a minute. I think that's the one that rips off the heads of the guy she fucks
So then the episode climax is the final scene of the episode is a date with Catherine Lyle now
Here, I guess these I I guess they have an arc.
I didn't realize this, but I guess we've been on an arc with them all this time.
Because they keep doing these perfectly pleasant dates, but they go play miniature golf,
and now they're getting pizza.
I mean, I kind of have foam though.
It seems fun.
But I'm like, why is the end of the episode, these two getting pizza, and I mean, like,
well, we're finally back on track. I'm like'm like from what you guys never even had a fight the whole
season you guys are just like hey let's go crab and hey miniature golf hey pizza
well I figured this is I figured this is what it was because in the beginning of
the season the way they talked about it I was like oh okay so she's gonna be
here to do this show and he's coming back to do the show,
which is kind of what it sounded like.
And she made it sound like
well, we've been dating all this time still
and it's been a long-term relationship.
But then she said, well, you know,
in high school, we dated so long,
but then we found our way back to each other now.
And he said, well, you are apprehensive.
And she said, well, yeah, because I don't like change.
Okay.
I have seasonal depression because it's change.
When I go to when I go to bydresses, I don't even try them on because I have to change.
I don't like it.
Last year, my family and I we
said it a four seasons. Oh my God, that was emotional roller
coaster. So many seasons and one night all the time, four
seasons over and over and over again. I don't even pay with
cash anymore because I don't like being handed change.
That's why I could not vote for Obama. So I don't know if they've
been broken up since high school or just on and on again off
again since high school or what, but it is interesting that they yeah they're gonna try it.
They have like a perfectly fine but uninteresting storyline, you know, one that I don't think
anyone's been invested in or is you know cared about just sort of like filler in between
the more exciting scenes.
So to see that they're getting the last the last scene in the episode
right before the season finale, I was like, wait, were we supposed to be invested in this
thing this whole time? They just sort of have like a nice lukewarm romance going on.
That's perfectly fine. And oh, I guess next week they're going to get engaged. Oh, okay.
All right, then. Let's do this. Well, I mean, I like I like Catherine. She's my favorite. So okay, cool. Well, I cannot wait to see the new Ashley fight because I love those Ashley fights. They just make no sense. No, yeah, no, my favorite.
All right. Well, don't we have something else coming up in today's show being well as it is Friday. That means today is the Crabbins male
Okay, I paused and that will back
Okay, Crabbins male back is open and here's a question from Kenneth Curtis, who says,
I miss Peter, and by Peter, I mean, oh, well, you know, Peter,
could we hear some over-dramatized beaten up taxi stories
or whatever Peter stories there may be?
So for those of you guys who may have come onto the podcast
in the past few years, we are sort of fixated on Peter
Alexia's son from Real House of Miami.
We always loved how pretty much every time Alexia talks, she would say,
Oh, what do you know Peter?
So,
Oh, what do you know Peter?
He hasn't listed the podcast up.
You know, he's an artist, you know, and he was like, you know, he went to,
he was listening to a podcast, but then he like was walking the street and I
taxicab came along.
So we had to kick the cab and you know, he was throwing a jab, but you know,
he's an artist, you know, Peter.
Yeah, because nothing was ever Peter's fault.
Nothing. I think if Peter was colluding with Russia,
he'd be like, oh, but you know, Peter, you know, he has a cell phone.
And so, you know, his dad wanted him to have a cell phone
bless his heart, you know, RIP, I'll never forget her, man, of course.
So he would give them this cell phone, you know,
and so, you know, Peter he would give them this cell phone, you know, and so you know Peter
He would have the cell phone and it was going ding ding ding and so he'd be like mama got to get my cell phone
I'd be like oh my god like I'm not even a mom like I'm just a lady who listens to cell phone things, you know
And so he would ask red and he'd start talking in this language. I'd say Peter what is this language?
And you know, he would tell me it's English. I'm like I know English I'm not stupid okay like how will you know Peter? Peter thinks I'm stupid because I'm a mom or
whatever so then I learn is Russian you know and like he's making all these plans to go out but you
know Peter he's like young he needs a social life so. Oh well you know Peter like you know like
he didn't mean to you know take that envelope out but like well you know he's like we're like Peter you have to take this envelope and he's like which envelope and then I was like he didn't mean to, you know, take that envelope out, but like, well, you know, he's like, we're like Peter.
You have to take this envelope and he's like, which envelope? And I was like, I can't hear you Peter like, la la la la la.
So we took like la la envelope. And I was like, no, Peter, it's nighttime. You got to take moonlight envelope.
But like, you know, he's an artist and he sees a lot of life. He's a song in his head, you know, so we can't help it.
He's like singing. And so he just takes an envelope, you know, because like, who cares about awards?
You know, he's a real musician, you know? So he just like handed to Warren Bady. And you know, in-blob, you know, because like who cares about awards, you know, he's a real musician, you know, so he just like handed Warren Beatty and you know, he was excited
because you know Warren Beatty, his name has beaten it, you know, so it's like he's a, you know,
first song, he likes good beat, you know, like that's what Peter does, you know, so it's like really
not anyone's fault, you know, sort of like artistry on display, you know, oh, what Peter.
Oh, you know what Peter, like he's an artist, so like he has a hip-hop So you know like he has a own studio because Herman said you and I mean RIP Herman
I love you so much, but he would Herman would say I hope you do your music, you know because art
You know it's important. We should keep it in school
So he made Peter his own recording studio and
His little brother likes to watch him so he would be done there making his heart. And one time he said the inward, you know,
and so he got in all this trouble.
Well, all you know, Peter didn't mean it like that.
He only met it in the art way, you know?
And then so I went to my friend's art gallery at Rihanna
and she has this picture of Jesus making
Pepe on the Santa Maria.
I mean, RIP Jesus, I love him, you know,
I'll never forget him.
And you know, I said, that's not right.
You know, she said, it's art. And I said, oh, you know, I'll never forget him. And I said, that's not right. You know, she said, it's art.
And I said, oh, you know, like Peter.
Oh, well, you know, Peter, like he was like,
you know, he loves like a good place.
And so like when he learned that there was like
a paradise that he could go to, he was like,
oh, well, sweet, like I go to hot tub and stuff.
And like, oh, you know, Peter, he like,
he didn't mean to ruin a whole show,
but like Peter, like he's an artist.
And he like sometimes just likes to express his art like in a hot tub sometimes. And like, you know,, he's an artist and he sometimes just likes to express his art and a hot tub sometimes.
And he's a bachelor and that's just what Peter does. He's young.
But they tried to send him off and they had a taxi cam come get him and he beat up the taxi cab.
But it wasn't his time to go. Why would he ever wanted to be paradise? So, oh well, Peter.
Oh, Peter spent a paradise, he's never been to Peter.
That's a question.
He's been, you know, well, Peter, he's like, he's been to China and all around
and you know, Peter.
But I see Peter.
What else is in that mail bag, Bean?
Okay, the next one, how about from Oliver Haskins? He says I'm confused
This in the season opener of Southern charm didn't ship move into a furnished beach rental where you hung his painting
So gosh, why is he looking for houses with Cameron?
He
Not to be getting a this season. He moved
into that last season last season.
And he remodeled it.
Remember he bought like a kind of
rundown place, Dan Tan by the
beach or whatever. Yeah. And he
or it's not by the beat. It is
by the beach. So he was like
living with Whitney at one point
and then he got that then he
got that tall skinny house.
You got like the chef of houses
and then but now he wants his niche. Yeah.
So, yeah, I think he is at the beach or he's close to the beach now, but I think the difference is
this one is closer to work. The main problem is that he still has that that restaurant, right?
Or does he? Because they haven't mentioned that. Well, and I think the main problem is, you know,
he's an alcoholic. So, you know,
it doesn't matter where you go. He's close to a rest. He's close to the commoner.
Yeah. Which I'm not sure if that's his place, but he's close to there.
And the whole staff comes over after work to his house because he's really close. Yeah, that is his place, right?
Yeah, it is. So he wants to move further away from the restaurant so the bus boys can't walk over. Basically,
what he's saying. Yeah. So I think that's what it is. Maybe you're remembering the season opener from a different
season or maybe we're forgetting from the season, but that's what our our fried
no that was last season because I remember him walking around on the balcony talking to his mom
and she's like, oh, shit, look at you with the hash. You're gonna grow up. You sure you're okay down there in that neighborhood. He's like, oh
gosh
so
I think that's the answer to that and and with that let's close up that mailbag
And that brings us to the end of another wonderful week of watch what
crappens. Yeah guys we are so excited we have some fun guests coming up we'll
start talking about all that next week this week next this week well you're
to hear that one okay next week we have more fun guests and thanks on
bravo we're getting ready to change here. It's another seasonal chain
Yeah, the big turnovers can be happening right after like the July 4th week out
It looks like yes a bunch of new shows are coming out though Orange County ladies are coming back
Dallas ladies are coming back bravo's throwing some more shit at the wall with some of these new shows that got coming up
So whatever you know what you really feel the need for us to cover of these new shows that got coming up. So whatever you know what you really
feel the need for us to cover of these new show, let us know on Twitter or Facebook. Yes,
yes please and everyone have an excellent excellent weekend. We will talk to you on Monday.
Talk to you next time. Bye. Bye.
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