Watch What Crappens - #58: What Crappens in Vegas

Episode Date: January 30, 2013

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Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. hey everybody welcome to watch what crap is a podcast about all the things we love to talk crap about on Bravo. I'm Ronnie Karam from TVgasm.com, and today I'm joined with the usual boys, Matt Whitfield from Yahoo. Hello, Matt. Hello, Ronnie. And Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com.
Starting point is 00:01:01 Hello, Ben. Hello, hello, hello. InsideBlog.com. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello, hello. So we just were recording for about 20 minutes and Ben's computer crashed from all the wiener porn. So we are giving this another go. Yes. So if we sound a little ticked off, it's because we're mad at my computer. Yes. If I'm talking extra fast, that's why.
Starting point is 00:01:22 Yeah. talking extra fast that's why yeah um so we were uh starting to talk some gossip about lisa from real housewives of miami uh suing an internet commenter for suggesting she used to be a call girl i wonder where she got that idea from or anyone anyone would yeah um can we all just admit that if the massive cast of miami were to lose one of the characters, Lisa would be the first to go, and this is clearly a ploy for her to try and make it onto season three. I would agree. Although
Starting point is 00:01:53 if we lost Lisa, then we would also lose Daisy, who remains my favorite maid-slash-recovering-alcoholic- slash-preacher-slash- liposuction-enthusiast. And also, I want to see what happened to Daisy. I want to see her face. I need to see the recovery photos.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Well, don't get it twisted. Like, I don't mind if they cast Daisy, but they can still get rid of Lisa. Yes. By the way, Daisy's not going to look any better because if you remember, she went, she's like, oh, doctor, I've had liposuction three times. Okay, she can't keep it in.
Starting point is 00:02:23 All right, so. Yeah, by the time it comes back, she'll look exactly the same. I've had liposuction three times, okay? She can't keep it in, all right? So I'm sorry about that. By the time it comes back, she'll look exactly the same. Yeah, I think she will. It'll be one of those sad cases. Well, Bravo needs to really make an effort to do that show again. They did this year about the Beverly Hills nannies. They need to scrap that because obviously that was complete bullshit. But they need to have a show like that with just all the maids of the shows.
Starting point is 00:02:45 As long as Jacqueline from Million Dollar Decorators is there, I mean... Jacqueline! And Elsa's maid, who we neglected to nominate in our crappy awards earlier this year. But as everybody knows, we made those up on the fly, so a few people were forgotten along the way.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Yeah, give us a break, people. Oh, and also, don't you hate when you do that? You interrupt something and say an also, and then you totally forget what you were going to say. Oh, I was going to say, Internet, don't be calling Lisa a whore. She is not a whore. She's not a call girl. She's just an ex-Playboy model who married a rich old guy with no personality for his money. Okay.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Yeah. That's not whorish. Excuse me. You're forgetting. Go ahead. model who married a rich old guy with no personality for his money. Okay. Go ahead. I was going to say, used him to turn her into a blow-up doll. Oh my god, yes. Yeah, I forgot to tell you. Go on your Google Images or Yahoo Images. Good catch, good catch.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah, I need two tries. Google her and let Image Search call her a whore for you okay there's lots of um teeny weeny bikinis and vagina shots and a man face that she had before she met her husband oh i want to see but now she has a cat face and i'm kind of thinking the man face was better than the cat face but that could be because i like men and I'm afraid of cats. You don't like pussy. You're more into the chick with the dick than just...
Starting point is 00:04:09 I'd rather just be with one or the other. I don't need an in-between. Speaking of chicks with dicks, we should probably... I wish RuPaul's Drag Race was on Bravo. This would be perfect. And yet, it is not. And yet, it is not.
Starting point is 00:04:24 Okay, so let's get into the shows wait wait wait there's other things there are plenty of other drag queens on Bravo so don't you worry Matt that is very true and we miss Shiba Isha Ray so so much I was just going to add one other thing from the gossip world
Starting point is 00:04:41 but the divorce between Bethany Frankel and Jason Hoppy is taking it to overdrive and so we knew that this was going to get nasty because there is so much money with the skinny girl line but now Jason wants to have sole custody or primary custody of their
Starting point is 00:04:58 daughter Brynn and usually the mom ends up getting it but Bethany maybe because of how she's been perceived in the public and because she's been on all these you know skanky shows um maybe jason has a shot at it i mean i'm not team jason i'm team bethany here but i think that he's going to try to go for all of her money he's going for the house and now he's going for the kid and you know what i always thought like a few years ago when i watched bethany getting married and there was a scene where she like peed in a bucket on tv i thought you know what that was their wedding night yeah someday this is going to come
Starting point is 00:05:28 back to haunt her and you know what i bet they're going to use that in court to show why she's an unfit mother as they should you know her crying because he threw her a birthday party or you know the thing i love is that she's trying to say that he doesn't need any money correct like right he shouldn't have any money. We saw on the show how much he worked to help her get that company going. She didn't do that on her own. She did that in a partnership with him. So, be fair, bitch. That man earned the money.
Starting point is 00:05:54 And if he was rich, you'd be trying to take 80% of his money. So, stop being such a fucking lame ass. Be fair, feminist. Well, here's the crazy thing. So, he's asking for, what do you call it when you want to have somebody give you some money? It's not alimony, is it? Oh, I thought it was alimony.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Maybe it's alimony. I don't know. I'm not a lawyer like Phaedra Parks. Skinny girl alimony. Skinny girl alimony. But here's the thing. She's also asking for support. She wants him to pay benefits for her and Brynn.
Starting point is 00:06:18 He's asking Bethany to pay his benefits and Brynn's benefits. But the fact that Bethany's asking for anything more than the child is crazy to me. I know. She's just doing that for revenge. They need to put all that money in a big pot and split it down the middle and call it a day. That's the only fair way. That's how community property works. Well, I don't know if it's like that in New York.
Starting point is 00:06:39 I know it is in L.A. In L.A., it's a different story. You are fucked in L.A. if you don't have a prenup. Yeah, it's 50-50 here. So I hope it's there too because that man had to put up with her bullshit for long enough. He deserves some money. I don't love him. I don't love him.
Starting point is 00:06:54 But I don't – I think he is like boring and like a wet rag. And he wears mom jeans. Totally. He wears mom jeans like Evil Dick from Big Brother. Yeah. And she is – she's crazy. She's a crazy woman. Well wears mom jeans like Evil Dick from Big Brother. Yeah. And she is crazy. She's a crazy woman.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Well, she was a desperate. She was funny. Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Well, no. She was funny on Real Housewives of New York City because she had a different perspective and had these good one-liners. But then once you just sort of see an hour of her every week, you realize that she is
Starting point is 00:07:21 Meshuggah and that she and Jill Zarin ultimately deserve each other. Oh, you are horrible. That is as low as you can go. realize that she is meshugana and that she and jill zaron ultimately deserve each other oh you are horrible that is that is as low as you can go and ronnie and ronnie's book that is as low as you can go i'm just furious because we missed the first part of the podcast this is how i'm venting this is how this is how i grieve for the 10 minutes that we lost um can i just um say my secret dream would be for bethany to get custody of Brynn, fully move to L.A., have her talk to Ellen, because you know Ellen wants a piece of that,
Starting point is 00:07:52 and then become a full-time cast member of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She is friends with Kyle Richards. I do think she would actually be very interesting on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, because as much as I love Yolanda, she does nothing on the show. She does... Bite your tongue. Well, wait until next week when she starts telling Kyle to shut the fuck up.
Starting point is 00:08:11 I know. I'm excited for that. I mean, should we just get right into Beverly Hills now? Should we talk about... You know, the episode opened up in the standard form, which was Yolanda walking around with a tray of, like, homemade food. Like, this is what...
Starting point is 00:08:24 Every episode now begins with, I think it is very important that you feed your husband chicken with your homegrown lemons. Oh, your husband is the king of your house, and you need to make him feel like he's the one, or he'll be fucking some young girl with a Chanel. You have to make three sets of souffles, because if the first souffle doesn't work, then your husband will leave you. Okay, you motherfuckers are making so much fun of her,
Starting point is 00:08:46 and you cannot say that you would not want to come home to a hot dude who is making you three souffles and a chicken dinner. Hell yes. Yeah, I would. Exactly, because all men want sex and food. No, no, I'm not disagreeing with her. I just think it's funny that every time we see Yolanda, she just floats on in with some other like page of yolanda lifestyle magazine okay it looked so
Starting point is 00:09:10 delicious i'm i've been a hardcore vegetarian for 10 plus years that juicy chicken looks so good i almost went out and just started to like gnaw on the chicken down the street at the ralphs bitch all you know how to make is chicken how How about you make some fucking fish? Yeah. That's all she's made is chicken, chicken, chicken. She made hash browns. And she made spaghetti ones. I actually have to say, if we're going to nitpick, and
Starting point is 00:09:35 this podcast is all about nitpicking, is it not? I did not love her presentation of the chicken. She served it with lemons and I think tomatoes, but they were all so closely nestled in there. To me, it looked like it was right out of the page of a 1972 cookbook.
Starting point is 00:09:53 Yeah, she needs to be feeding her husband some water. That man needs to be drinking some water. He does not need any food. Calm down and just give him some liquids. Yeah, yeah. Why does he need because and then go ahead oh god no you go ahead
Starting point is 00:10:10 i'm on such a severe you don't even understand you guys how severe my diet is like it's killing me inside so what are you eating that is killing you about food we talking about food. We're watching food on TV. Yolanda makes me fucking crazy anyway because she's never done a goddamn thing in her life and she's rich as hell. And I have to sit here and look at her feed as some rich man who's got more talent than me and a better job than me. I'm sick of it. I'm fucking hungry. I hate David Foster for getting chicken. Hello.
Starting point is 00:10:46 If you ate pinkberry for dinner every night, it would just, like, it cleanses your insides. It's like a diuretic. But even more important than Yolanda's food is I love her sort of her casual name-dropping and celebrity, like... Oh, it's the best. Also, some people get divorced. Like, look at Heidi and see her. How amazing was it at the art show where she was like,
Starting point is 00:11:07 you need to give me this piece of art for 50% off because you just don't even know the A-listers that walk through my house. Yeah, a.k.a. Suzanne Somers. A.k.a. Suzanne Somers with a bag full of drugs. Yeah, and— Suzanne Somers who's going to live to be 110 because she takes speed. And has a pot belly. She walks on steps. How fair is that? Like, stop talking about health when you look like you're about six months pregnant, Suzanne Somers is going to live to be 110 because she takes speed. And has a pot belly. She wants that sex.
Starting point is 00:11:25 How fair is that? Stop talking about health when you look like you're about six months pregnant, Suzanne Somers. I know. She looks like Sally Jesse Raphael with a wig on and no glasses. Oh, my God. And by the way, by the wig, the wig looks like that busted ass Muppet one that Betsy Johnson wears. Totally. And she looks like she has the wooden teeth
Starting point is 00:11:46 that Daniel Day-Lewis had in Lincoln. And her neck looks like a sleeping bag. And her legs look like they're from a dipshom restaurant. But she's going to live to be 110. Suzanne Somers is one of those unfortunate people that's going to die, and everyone around town is gonna kind of laugh and go I knew that
Starting point is 00:12:07 bitch was gonna die didn't you love it when like Lisa Vanderpump was like who the fuck is Chrissy Snow well I also liked when Yolanda was like well you know of course I've heard of Thieves Company but no I've never watched it Yolanda's never watched it
Starting point is 00:12:22 she's my great friend but I would never dare watch her show i'm too busy in my garden i can just imagine yolanda watching three's company and being totally puzzled by it i don't understand these people why can't they just all just sit and talk how did the landlord misunderstand what they were saying it was so clear through the kitchen door why why can't he just be lovers to both the black haired one and the blonde haired one? Why do we have to have a rivalry? We're adults here. She's probably also friends with Joyce DeWitt. Let's not get wrong.
Starting point is 00:12:52 Oh, I don't think so. Joyce DeWitt looks like she got run over by 10 pickup trucks. Have you seen her lately? I would say, I think it's more likely that she's friends with Priscilla Barnes. Yeah. A.K.A. Terry. Joyce DeWitt's friends with, like, Priscilla Presley's daughter.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Yeah. Joyce DeWitt's... Smoking dope in the backyard, talking about Michael. I would like Joyce DeWitt to show up on one of these shows. She'd probably be all, like, New Mexico, wearing some sort of, like, Oh, she's totes Navajo.
Starting point is 00:13:24 Totes Navajo. She probably would actually get along great with Asa. I'm looking her up right now because last time I looked her up, I was horrified. I have a feeling there might be meth teeth and a DUI. Yes, it's her rest picture and she looks like hilariously
Starting point is 00:13:39 hilariously confused. The most important question is, does she still have the same haircut? She does. Is there like a door nearby where someone's listening through it is it like a strober like you guys we should totally open up a new regal beagle in West Hollywood to compete with sir oh my god and you're not allowed to come in with your button above your belly button hell no yeah I yeah choice to win so yeah suzanne summer is a wreck and i love that she's as fake as fakely happy as yolanda
Starting point is 00:14:13 and i i think these women probably go to bed at night in their cold beds alone masturbating and crying that's what they're like uh with like homegrown cucumbers Because it's very important to have your own cucumber patch. Cucumbers on her eyes and up her jine. It's how God made it. The key to raising a daughter is to have your own cucumbers that you can give her so she can eat them when she's riding the horse. What else happened there? Yeah, I love that she came over to give Suzanne Somers this big plug. And they didn't really even get into what Suzanne Somers does,
Starting point is 00:14:48 and I'm sure that she sat there and made those women listen to her for a fucking hour. Have you ever seen her on a talk show? Do you know what she does? Yeah. She, you know, they did mention the 40 pills a day, which she, you know. She takes more than that. She lined them up on one of those shows, and it was like fucking dominoes for miles. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:05 Her ass bleeds. Let's just get that out of the way. Who doesn't? And she... You know, the whole reason why she was there, quite frankly, I think... I think the only reason why she was there, quite frankly, was for Yolanda to brag that she knows Suzanne Somers. I don't think there was anything beyond that. No, I actually think she was there to sell a product or a book or some pills, but they never got around to it
Starting point is 00:15:26 and that's on the cutting room floor. Well, she also injects herself with estrogen and hormones. I mean, that's the really crazy thing that she does. So that woman's fucking Looney Tunes. I suspect that she has a bloody butt and she's bald under that way. Completely bald.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Oh, there's no doubt she's bald. I just don't know why she's not working more. I mean, Suzanne Somers for crying out loud. I mean, what a great reputation for Three's Company. I mean, she was a charmer. Yeah, real charmer. Everyone really got along well with her. You guys, she does pop up, though, on Bravo shows from time to time.
Starting point is 00:15:57 She was on the final season of Kathy Griffin, My Life on the D-List. That's because it's a gay channel and gay people are obsessed with train wreck failures who are still alive. It's like, wow, you're still alive? Well, she lives in Palm Springs. That's where they go to die. And you have to take a tram up to her house, if I remember.
Starting point is 00:16:15 That's like all I can think about is that tram. When I think of Suzanne Somers, I think of her on a tram now. That's my dominant memory of her. What about when she was like, Yolanda? Wow, Yolanda is the most together fabulous most talented uh person i've ever met you should have been to her wedding i mean it was a who's who boat sally and then you turn around and there's who was muhammad ali muhammad ali i was like wow that's one that's one fucked up party i mean up party. I mean, one can't see the other one.
Starting point is 00:16:47 The other one's stuttering all over the place. You are going to hell. I mean, you already were. That's why there were different tents. One tent for each type of disability. Oh, my God. One was a blind-friendly tent. Stevie Wonder was playing in that tent, obviously.
Starting point is 00:17:04 And Yolanda was on a pedestal above them all. The gift bag was like canes and reaming glasses. And lemons, and lemons. She was probably sitting at a throne with a scepter and a crown, and people had to come and deliver baskets from their native countries. She probably emerged before she walked down the aisle out of her own refrigerator full of flowers.
Starting point is 00:17:30 Hilarious. Wow, we've got a lot of mileage at this time of summer, huh? We've got to get to the beginning of this episode because it was like a continuation of the previous episode and it was really kind of awkward with the men being bitches and Mauricio fighting with Ken.
Starting point is 00:17:46 No. No, what? That was last week. That was? Where did this episode start? It started with Suzanne Summers and then it just stopped. After that, it was just nothing. Wait, so is the part from last week where Camille was in the confessional going, Taylor, stop making it all about yourself?
Starting point is 00:18:02 Was that not this week? No. This week, if you need a recap, please come to tvgasm.com where I've written a recap of this show, but I'm looking at it now to see what the hell. Yeah, it starts with Yoli. Oh, that one became all about Brandy going to swing her giant on a
Starting point is 00:18:18 pole to make money. Yeah. And then meanwhile, Kyle threw yet another party for their daughter's sixth grade graduation and Adrian and Paul showed up. And Adrian, by the way, she
Starting point is 00:18:33 is really reminding me of an old lady. Like, her mannerisms are so old lady-ish to me, right? The whole show, she was the one to intro the show today. And she was like, previously on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Previously. I love, by the way,
Starting point is 00:18:51 speaking of the party that Mauricio, I totally just interrupted you. Continue with Adrian. No, no, please. Say your point, my point. And this is exactly why people like Eddie McGee on iTunes comments call me a bitch. Why?
Starting point is 00:19:06 Why? Because I interrupted you. Oh, Matt. We do that to you all day, boo. I'm petting my microphone and pretending it's your head to let you know it's a picture. Oh, I like to be pet. Do you say pet? I like to be petted.
Starting point is 00:19:18 I like to be petted. Actually, this is more of a pat than a pet. Anyway, I was just going to say that one of our commenters had a great point she was like this is kelly hurley she was like oh yeah i was waiting for mauricio and kyle to have everyone run out in front for a brand new leased car for sophia's sixth grade graduation seriously they love to give away maseratis on this goddamn and that goddamn household even if you can't drive yet yeah they're getting a discount on everything. That's the cheapest family on all the Housewives shows combined.
Starting point is 00:19:48 The only reason Kyle even had this damn party was to get some more free food from some caterer and to get some camera time because she's got nothing going on and to have Paul and Adrian over because they're never on anymore to bitch about everybody that Kyle hates. So Kyle will look like a nice person
Starting point is 00:20:02 and everyone else can trash him behind her back. And since when do sixth graders get graduation parties, by the way? I mean, just because you finished the school year does not mean that you deserve some huge party in a special dress. I've never understood children rituals.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Graduating from kindergarten? Fuck you, you little brat. I took you there, I dropped you off, you're still sitting in your pants. What do you want an award for? Shut up. Good job. Yeah, I agree. But this party did bring out Faye Resnick.
Starting point is 00:20:31 The monster reared her head again. Oh, well, I want to assure you, Adrian and Paul, I did everything in my power to let her know exactly what I felt about her. And by... I mean, all she did was attack brandy she she accused brandy of attacking adrian and in reality all she did was attack brandy for adrian and paul good job i love adrian's reaction well you know she does that because she has a strong belief in in what's right you know faith really you know faye really believes in what's right. You know, Faith really, you know, Faith really believes in what's right. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:05 Yeah. Yeah. It was really right to attack somebody at a dinner party to stand up for your stupid ass who spent a week prior completely lying about your C-sections for an hour while everyone had to listen to your gross lies at the dinner table. And then her husband is trying to put a nice together, a nice lunch plate for her, and she starts complaining about which pieces of chicken he is putting on her plate and proving once again why she's just the biggest nastiest bitch on the face of the earth yeah she really is and was she fucking that kid at this time is that what broke up their marriage and is that the real secret i have no idea i hope the secret comes out and i think i hope the secret comes out and i hope that faye resnick looks dumb are you guys she already does she already looks she already actually well she looked extra stupid when she was like i started a design company 18 years ago and then in
Starting point is 00:21:50 my head i'm like oh so you started a design company right after you were making money off of your friend's death after the oj killings yes you used your playboy that's when you started to make a design company oh you're such a genius she has some real A-list clients like Nick Lachey, Avril Lavigne, and such. And such. And then they were shopping for creepy mannequins in the downtown ghetto and it was creepy. That was last week.
Starting point is 00:22:15 That was last week. I watched them back to back. Okay, you just keep on... When you think of a point, you say it and we'll tell you if it's relevant or not. Okay. We'll just tell you it's not last not okay wait so kyle getting a store was last week yes oh god where was where was marissa zanuck uh being mean to her this week or last here's what that was last week but i want to talk about marissa because i love her mom her mom cracks me up first of all i love her madman hairstyle that she's clearly been
Starting point is 00:22:45 rocking she says 30 years i think it's been more like 50 years that is that's a hairstyle we have not seen since the 60s oh let me see what you're packing let me see what you're packing because i know it's going to be horrible i know it's just going to be ugly let me see it oh god that's so ugly oh god take me with you take me with you i loved her i you. I loved her. I thought she was great. I'm trying to think what else. I guess they went to Vegas, and then they had dinner, and then they acted like little girls not being able to swallow oysters. I can't swallow an oyster, bitch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I can't. Love an oyster. I can't. And I'm the fake-ass kind of person to do it and act like it's just delicious and I really understand the part of the sea it's from. You know, like one of those assholes. Oh, I don't understand that. I don't know. I do, because every time I'm with people like that, they're just so like, oh, an oyster.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Where is this oyster from? Oh, really? The Pacific Sound. Woo, woo, woo. I'm like, oh. All of a sudden, you'rein lawrence billard eating it i would really like to see a reality show of martin lawrence billard um taking a summer off and interning at red lobster oh my god that's a food. The cheesy buns. I can't eat them any further.
Starting point is 00:24:06 I'm just kidding. It gots. That's actually a brilliant idea. Seven. The other, by the way, speaking of other brilliant things, Kim Richards is going to get a nose job. Oh my god, that was actually a wonderful scene. We got to see Kim in yet another house.
Starting point is 00:24:23 I mean, how many houses has she had? Does anybody know? It depends on how many Mauricio leases for her. I know. Because this is not the same house. She has one for every child that she has. Every season, it's a new house. And she's always hanging up pictures.
Starting point is 00:24:35 Have you noticed that? She is upset. In addition to sticking her hand in mayonnaise-based salads, this woman's other fetish in life are cheap silver picture frames of her children. Why does she wait so long to put them up? I mean, it always takes, I mean, like, how many times do we have to watch this process? Because it's a new house every time.
Starting point is 00:24:56 It's like she's always unpacking into a new house. Well, new house, new change, and a new nose with a change. Hey, this isn't a new house, is it? Because I went to the kitchen and it wasn't there. I was like, kitchen, where'd you go, it's just with a change. Hey, this isn't a new house, is it? Because I went to the kitchen and it wasn't there. I was like, kitchen, where'd you go, kitchen? And she has a houseman. I like that she has a houseman and she has a psychic and she has a life coach. And she also now has a new plastic surgeon who may be from Transylvania.
Starting point is 00:25:27 He was so scary. I was like, Kim, what are you doing? He's going to kill you and turn you into true blood. And how pissed is Adrian going to be that she's not using Paul? Exactly. And they didn't go to the Palms when they were in Vegas and she's not using Paul as the plastic surgeon, so Adrian's now going to have to sue
Starting point is 00:25:46 somebody else. I think Kim's explanation actually made a lot of sense. And besides, how could she not go to this plastic surgeon? I mean, as she said, he knows noses. Get it? He knows noses, like noses, noses, noses. He knows noses.
Starting point is 00:26:01 That confessional was so fucked up. Did you see her? She started to laugh hysterically, and they cut it off. She is so funny. I think that she probably rocked back in the chair and fell. Should I do a lift? And he's like, no, I can't do that. Look at your face.
Starting point is 00:26:18 It's amazing. You don't need a lift. I'm not. I can't do that. Well, should I get my ears done? Or to get those ears done those are the most amazing ears you know i've always heard that i had amazing ears emilio estes was the first one to tell me and then it was like a flood of people telling me i had really good
Starting point is 00:26:35 so i get my nose and he's like maybe okay kyle called me she has to do your nose i love how bravo was so smart to be like because you know clearly they're setting up kyle this whole season to be like the biggest nastiest bitch which you know she is but you know they're like oh kim why did you think of getting your nose done cut to kyle going like oh girl well if you get anything done you should start with your nose at the very least you know she's like wow well that's at the very least she should know? She's like, wow. Well, at the very least, she should get her nose done. It's like, that would at least help. But also,
Starting point is 00:27:10 Kim Richards, who are you kidding? Your forehead is now in the middle of your head. You've obviously had an eye lift, a face lift, a fucking fillers, bow ties. Get over it. Come on now. You're not covering yourself up with that big old bow? Come on. Although, I have to say, I've seen some pictures in the tabloids of Kim's new nose,
Starting point is 00:27:26 and I actually think it looks really good. She looks amazing. I'm not a hater on plastic surgery, to be clear. I don't... I hate certain plastic surgery. And by the way, it really amused me. I know I'm stepping forward a little bit. It really amused me on Shazza Sunset
Starting point is 00:27:39 when Lily started talking about how, like, you know, the kids are doing it in moderation. You don't want to be, and do so much of it. I'm like, you know what you look like, Lily. You've seen yourself in the mirror, correct? You've seen your giant ass tits. You've seen her in an elevator. She looks like 3D anime porn.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Yeah, she does. On one of those websites you accidentally go to when you're just trying to innocently shop on Amazon. And you're like, oh, that's like a sexy avatar person in the Sims world and oh wait they don't have clothes on it's like the Svedka robot with a weave and giant tits
Starting point is 00:28:14 what do you think yeah no I totally we didn't even have to say anything we were on the same page wait did I just make a reference that was too obscure no no no, no. We're with you. That bitch whack. Okay, let's go back to Beverly Hills though.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yeah. Because Kim, wow. You've had enough plastic surgery. Stop fronting, please. Stop fronting. Please do not front any longer, Kim. So the girls all went to Vegas and then they did the usual thing
Starting point is 00:28:41 where they flopped out on beds and acted like they were the nicest beds they'd ever had even though they all live in mansions except for Brandy. So I guess it was an exciting thing for her. Oh, you know what I loved? I loved the teacher, the strip cardio teacher, whatever her name was. She was cracking my shit up. Oh, my god. I wish I could remember what she actually said.
Starting point is 00:29:03 But I remember she was just saying the most ridiculous things. She was telling Brandy to exhale and ripple it. Yeah. What is that stuff called? It's called S Club, or not S Club 7, but S Factor. It's called S Factor.
Starting point is 00:29:20 A lot of my lady friends in LA go and do those pole dancing classes. It was such an L.A. moment. I mean, people who don't live here in L.A., I hope you appreciate that this stuff really happens in our neighborhood. You have women sitting here being like, just whipple your body back and you want to feel sexy for him. Just roll around and get your heel up. Oh, yeah, you're doing it.
Starting point is 00:29:42 You're doing it. Yeah. And then she was clapping and shaking her mane of a horsey hair. and it was just like you clearly want to eat brandy out she looked like that uh nun from um father dowling mysteries sister sister steve yeah what's her name again she's like the daughter of like famous like she's the daughter um it's sister steve and her brothers are matthew and gunner nelson it Nelson it's Tracy Nelson and her father died in the plane crash hello that's what she
Starting point is 00:30:10 looked like I actually stopped it because I was like wait a second is that Nelson girl doing strip strip aerobics now it'd be great if she was wearing her nuns habit oh my god I would love to see that I would love to see us we'll do it maybe we'll do a side by side on our Facebook page which everyone should become a fan of, because we're almost at a thousand fans.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Okay, speaking of, I was just on our Facebook page, so sorry I was totally checked out. We're not talking about anything noteworthy, I can tell you that. The worst thing about it is that I start getting on that page and just completely zone. getting on that page and just completely zoned but nicole jean-ron um no nicole johan rand posted a link to buzzfeed and it says here the seven essential items from kim richards online store last night real housewives of beverly hills star kim richards announced the launch of her online store it's predictably amazing did she i don't remember her saying anything about a store do you maybe i don't remember that either. So there's a tie-dyed shirt
Starting point is 00:31:08 that says, life is a journey and I'm finding myself every day. We all need it. Okay, go on. There's a blah blah blah iPhone case. A love in my life capri. A life is a journey capri. And an apron that says, that's my chicken,
Starting point is 00:31:24 that's my chicken,'s my chicken give me my chicken oh that's a season one callback um and then booty shorts that say you're a slut pig okay um and that's it i think all right one that says good thoughts a t-shirt but you're a slut pig please if that's real everybody go order them i was just gonna say if you're a slut pig, please, if that's real, everybody go order them. I was just going to say, if there's really booty shorts that say you're a slut pig, I'm going to take that and sell them up and down Santa Monica Boulevard. Yeah, congratulations. You all know what you're getting
Starting point is 00:31:53 for Christmas. That is my favorite Kim Richards quote, I think, of all time. You're a slut pig. With a finger point. With a pterodactyl finger point. And the meth mouth. It was fantastic. And the old nose. Remember those days?
Starting point is 00:32:09 That old nose? Those were the days. So the end of the show was all the girls being super nice to each other. Also, I don't really like Brandy when she's nice because she tends to just talk forever about nothing that I give a shit about. And that marriage was over a long time ago. Get the fuck over it. And I don't like the women being so nice to each other. It was like the most awkward dinner ever. I was like,
Starting point is 00:32:30 you guys, get drunk. Well, it looks like next week they're going to get all mad at each other, so don't cheat for it. Thank God, because don't you guys think this season's been kind of boring? It has. It's not the last ten minutes. It's always boring. It has its moments. This whole thing with Brandy and Paul and Adrian has started to give the season a little bit of a through line, which it needed, but it's always boring. It has its moments. Like, I mean, this whole thing with Brandy
Starting point is 00:32:45 and Paul and Adrian has started to give the season a little bit of a through line, which it needed, but it's not quite where it should be. Look, I'm not alone. A lot of our Facebook followers and commenters would agree.
Starting point is 00:32:56 We miss Miami, motherfuckers. Oh, yeah. Beverly Hills and Atlanta are boring, especially after this amazing season of Miami. Well, what's up with that clip next week of Camille accusing Lisa of having investors? She's going after her about her restaurant, saying,
Starting point is 00:33:11 Oh, Lisa, tell us who your investors are. No, she straight up says, Lisa, you need to be honest. You don't even own Sir. Yeah, and Lisa's just kind of slack-jawed looking at her. So, do you think that Lisa has partners or does she not really own it? I mean, what the hell? What's going on with that? If Lisa were
Starting point is 00:33:28 smart, she'd be like, you're right, I don't own it. It's a piece of shit restaurant and I don't want to be associated with it anymore. Peace out. Because it is a sucky, awful restaurant. Ben, if we didn't have Sir, we wouldn't have Vanderpump Rules, so you might want to shut the fuck up right now. There wouldn't be anywhere to contain all the Persians.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Is this a segue segue are we going on to our next you know i was trying to you know weave it in but you gotta call out the segue listen i love calling out a good segue and that was a great segue really smooth you guys um wow vanderpump rules last night uh i don't even know where to begin i can can begin here, actually. Matt and I mentioned this before we started recording that we both, all three of us, really detest this show. Hate it. I mean, it's the worst show maybe ever. Probably one of the worst shows Bravo has ever aired. Or in the history of television.
Starting point is 00:34:20 In the history of mankind. One of the worst popular entertainments since we arrived on this planet um but i have to say i unfortunately have now become slightly invested in these awful officially fucking i am i'm invested and it's a shame because there's no one that i like i mean it's like it's more like trying to figure out who is worse than who at any given moment? Because usually it's always Stassi is the worst. But then sometimes, like, these... This past episode, Ben, like, I found out... I found myself hating the horse faces more than Stassi for five minutes. And I was like, maybe I should go hang myself.
Starting point is 00:34:55 What's going on? But then I started to hate Stassi again. And then I started to hate Jax the most. And then I started to hate Stassi again. And then I just started to hate myself, really, at that point. It's so true. One of our commenters said it perfectly. This show is
Starting point is 00:35:07 why people hate LA. Like, these are the people that make people hate LA. This is the reason that God made Noah build an ark and then he flooded the earth and killed everybody on it, okay? Because it was Jax and Stacey. Okay, well, let me ask you this. Don't you guys think that the people like Stassi
Starting point is 00:35:24 and Jax and all these, like, people that think they're hot and sexy and they're really just all servers with 50 STDs, do they end up staying in LA and doing anything? Or do they end up failing miserably, burning out, and moving back to Tulsa? Some stay. Like, you can see Jax, he's been doing the same thing basically for 10 years. And he's going to be one of those people that, you know, when you go to Cabo Cantina and you see someone who's, like, 44 and still dressing like he's 22 and, like, hanging around there, which is probably what's going to be me. And he's going to have, like, a fat belly but still big, like, biceps. Yeah. Jax will be in there for the long haul. Stassi, I think – here's the thing with Stassi. She calls herself a model, but the truth is that she has the face of a young Veronica Cartwright.
Starting point is 00:36:10 And Veronica Cartwright is the woman in The Witches of Eastwick who threw up all the cherries. And I'm not even being funny. She is Veronica Cartwright, though, having a crazy baby with Chelsea Clinton. The point is, yes, I agree. And the point is this. Veronica Cartwright is not a look you want to aspire for when you're an alleged model, okay?
Starting point is 00:36:30 You don't want to look like the crazy lady in The Witches of Eastwick. But that's what Stassi looks like. So her shelf life is going to be very limited and she's not going to be able to deal with the fact that she's no longer quote-unquote hot stuff and she's going to have to get the hell out of Dodge.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Well, if you ever want to see what these people are going to end up like, go to the bar at Saddle Ranch on a Saturday night. Yeah. Ronnie, why would we ever go there? Actually, I would rather go there than the Abbey, so maybe I should go there. I'm pretty over the Abbey, too. Where do we go now?
Starting point is 00:37:00 Are you going east? I always prefer east. I prefer the scruffy hipsters yeah well matt you're not allowed back in the abbey aren't you aren't you banned for starting a fight there there is there are many unwanted signs oh okay um anyway so yeah let's there was this show got always gets me so riled up every single week because they're so stupid and they're so obnoxious let's talk about her birthday party because the birthday party is the only thing that mattered so they all were like we need to take off the same two nights to go to vegas and then cut to lisa if they all
Starting point is 00:37:33 leave at the same time how am i gonna have a restaurant blah blah blah boring get to vegas like oh she's like okay well i guess you guys can all leave like who cares about my restaurant wait there's a very crucial uh point to your math i think okay okay okay i was gonna say it doesn't have anything to do with stassi going like i go to my vegas for my birthday every year and i'm like i can't remember when this photo was from oh my god it's when i was like oh my god i wore that shirt for my 22nd birthday oh my god she's only 24 slash she looks 50. i don't want frank to feel discluded from the birthday, okay? Oh my god! No, but so when you talked about
Starting point is 00:38:07 people getting the time off, Stassi tells us the way she does it is that she tells the people she likes the most about the birthday first, so that way they can take the time off. And the people that she doesn't really like that much, she tells later, so that way they can't get the time off, so they can't come, but she still looks nice for inviting them.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Vital fact. This is just setting up Stassi's hideous behavior later on. But anyway. Hold on. Pause. Isn't that like really smart? Well, I mean, the thing is the way she says, I mean, it is smart, but it's also obnoxious. From Wondery, this is Black History for Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.
Starting point is 00:38:46 And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August, 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
Starting point is 00:39:16 And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on
Starting point is 00:39:35 Apple Podcasts. is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Herald, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Grey's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of.
Starting point is 00:40:17 But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death follow academy on the wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts you can binge all episodes of academy early and ad free right now by joining wondery plus okay because well we'll see why this makes sense later on. So anyways, so she tells us this, then they go to Vegas. They all, oh yeah,
Starting point is 00:40:50 no one wants to ride with Stassi because they're just all just a bunch of horse-faced cunts. I don't know, I can't, I'm sorry women of all our female listeners, I may have just massively offended you, but these women bring it out of me. I'm sorry. Well, those women are horrible and the men aren't much better.
Starting point is 00:41:04 I mean, the minute a fight starts, they all take off their shirts to show off their bodies shut up like who are we going wait wait you were jumping ahead to the best part dress for this i saw that come on what are you taking it off to protect it shut up my god i was texting i was emailing with you guys last night but when jacks burst in should we just should we get to the fight or should we get i was going to talk about how how like get there okay get there drive them there get to the party and then they check in and the girls won't even like talk to her like at the at the reception desk and then and then jack sends her an arrangement that's in her room and she's okay anyway so there's this party go okay now we're at the now we're at the fight are we at like the marrakesh dinner place yet yeah they're at a moroccan restaurant which
Starting point is 00:41:49 is the is andy cohen fucking a moroccan boy i think so because every single show they're going to every single damn show they're going to hookah i know right i know um so wait what's the what's stassi's what's stassi's new boy's name? Frank. Frank. What a nerd, by the way. That laugh. Ugh.
Starting point is 00:42:09 Just send him back to the IT department. Get rid of him. I thought that his laugh was a little bit like Madison Hildebrand. Just going to say. Here's what I really hate about Stassi. Aside from the fact that she's a total idiot and she's a total bitch, and she's also one of these girls that's like, it's my birthday.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Like, you can't ruin my birthday as if it's like some sacred holiday that everyone has to have. Right, stomp, stomp, stomp. Yeah, but I forgot what I was going to say about what I hate about her. I mean, I can go on, but I just can't remember specifically what made me go on this rant. You know what I hate when people are like, oh my god, you guys, it's my birthday and i go to vegas every year you know what fuck you that's that kind of friend that i hate who every single year they're like hey it's my birthday everyone's gonna blow a couple of thousand dollars this weekend to celebrate it okay yeah like a bunch of poor ass wait i wish i had more friends like that well they don't pay
Starting point is 00:43:02 for it so you have to pay for their birthday yeah you're that's what i'm saying she's asking you to spend a couple of yeah yeah yeah oh no i take it back no what i was gonna say was that um this whole thing with frank you know how she's like making out with him at chippendales and all this ridiculous stuff you know it drives me nuts because it's so transparent and also you know that if jacks were to do something like that she would just be a bitch on wheels like she would be be a bitch on wheels. Like, she would be so annoying about it. And I don't know why she thinks she can get a free pass.
Starting point is 00:43:29 And I don't know why I'm really getting so fired up about this. Like, why do I care? Why do I care about this? Speaking of Chippendales, my favorite part is when Vicky Gunvalson leaned over to the guy with the greasy ponytail and was like, you're a stripper, aren't you? I just realized the thing we almost told. You can't fool me. you're a stripper, aren't you? I just realized the thing we almost told... You can't fool me. You're a stripper. You're a stripper, aren't you? You know, we almost glossed over the most amusing part of the episode
Starting point is 00:43:54 before even the fight. So Jax came to Vegas secretly. And as we all know, the big rumor about Jax that Frank started was that when Frank... When Jax was in Vegas two months ago, he got a girl pregnant. So he's like, no, I didn't. So then we have a scene where he's talking to this guy, Peter, started was that when frank when jacks was in vegas two months ago he got a girl pregnant so he's like no i didn't so then we have a scene where he's talking to this guy peter who seems to be the only like level-headed person and he's like he's like have i done bad things yes have i
Starting point is 00:44:13 have i done drugs yes have i slept with a porn star yes have i knocked up a girl in vegas yes did i do it two months ago no i, I did it three years ago. Yeah. Oh, never mind. You only knocked up someone back then. Oh, you were only having unprotected sex with a stranger in Vegas back then. How many, like, horrible things? I thought he was about to list off, like, 50 other things. Like, I killed five homeless people with my car.
Starting point is 00:44:41 I ran a movie. I mean, he was just listing off, like, I, you know. These things happen. These things happen. I mean, he was just listing all like i you know things happen these things happen i mean he was just going on he's fucking crazy well i love that frank i don't really like frank i think that he's a total slime bag and he was on and it came out tonight that he was fucking her before she even broke up with jacks did you catch that part yeah but who cares well exactly why that's that's what's so hypocritical okay of course pop quiz pop quiz would you rather sleep with jacks or frank frank um oh god really honestly neither one of them which is which is a huge step you have you have to choose no that's a huge step because normally
Starting point is 00:45:18 if somebody works out i'll fuck them like that's my that's how i think of it i'm like oh my god they're thin they have power over me i'll do whatever they want. I'll bust for them. I'll do whatever they need. Did you just say, I'll bust for them? Bust. You know, like bust their table. I'll do whatever. I thought you said bust also. I was like, whoa. Is that like a new gay phrase that I'm not up
Starting point is 00:45:37 to speed on? No, I've just been a waiter for so long, and that's like the total that's equal to bottoming as a waiter. when there's another waiter there and you're like oh god i'll bust his table he's hot that means you're like really the lowest of the low like like you'll just you'll you're dropping your panties and you're bending over yes pretty much but then we are going to start using this get this phrase out there i would bust for him i will clean your glasses for you He'll look so sad
Starting point is 00:46:05 Look how I look now, sad I wouldn't have sex with him I don't think Jax has got every disease in the world and Frank looks like he has a tiny wiener and a really hairy butt Here's the thing though, Frank Frank has a nicer smile, so that counts for something
Starting point is 00:46:21 And a tiny wiener and a hairy butt He probably does have a tiny wiener and a hairy butt he probably does have a tiny wiener and a hairy butt but you know what though jack's one of those really like skinny skinny wieners like creepily skinny yeah you know what though jack's probably has a weird skinny little penis too and it probably has growths on it and on top of that he the more i look at him the less attractive he really becomes he looks just really weathered he does look like he did drugs and slept with prostitutes. And now has filler and has a horse face.
Starting point is 00:46:48 Yeah, not his face, I'm telling you. I saw him when he was young and it was not all big and giant like that. No, he's a weathered meathead. He is weathered. Well, I did love when Frank told him, oh, you're with some girl 10 years younger than you and living off of her money
Starting point is 00:47:04 and taking her money to pay your bills, yeah, that's really classy. Yeah, I'm sorry. That was a great dig on Frank's part. Yeah, that was good. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I just want to say one real quick thing
Starting point is 00:47:16 because before I forget, stupid, scant, she-ana, she-ana, skank-ana. She's so disgusting. She really, truly is so gross. Her boyfriend is disgusting.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Yeah, I was like, where's the rest of the box of those muffins for his burp? Yeah, I was like, he doesn't need another fucking cupcake. Oh, but I love when she was like, but brother pisses me off. She's mad at me because of somebody I slept with a long time ago. Well, she just moved on like in a week. How is that any different? Bitch, Frank is not pregnant with a baby, okay? Waiting at home for his wife to come
Starting point is 00:47:51 home. There's a difference. Stassi also doesn't have a hummingbird tattoo behind her ear, so shut up, you piece of trash. She's also not from Azusa. Exactly! You're from Azusa, you you automatically lose you're automatically always trashy for life you can't do anything you are like you're like uh you're like what's your face
Starting point is 00:48:12 from the oc if mother theresa were from azusa no take it back girl you lose your title even the starving africans wouldn't take her seriously they'd be like bitch get that grain away from me Even the starving Africans wouldn't take her seriously. They'd be like, bitch, get that grain away from me. It's like a black hole of classiness. No classiness ever comes out of it. And anything that goes in will never be seen again. Just like Sir.
Starting point is 00:48:36 Yeah. I actually thought Sheena's point was relatively valid in that Stassi does act all high and mighty, but she's not the more, she's not like some exemplary citizen here. You know, she's a stupid whore. Yes, I agree. You know, I think it still stands that Scam Shiana is a stupid whore. And there's no explaining away
Starting point is 00:48:59 that you boned some woman's husband for two years while she was pregnant. Okay, there's just no excusing that. You're going to live with it forever, proudly, apparently, because it's made the bitch famous. But there's no getting around it. Just shut the fuck up. Okay?
Starting point is 00:49:11 Yeah. Go get your tattoo with your classy mom. So let's bring her on now as our special guest. Shiana, we love you. Thank you so much for coming on. Oh, yeah. Isn't she supposed to be coming on? No, I can't ask her.
Starting point is 00:49:26 I've just called her every whorish name in the book. You guys can do it. Please. I hate her. Please. I like her. I think she seems like... I mean, I would take Sheena over either the horse faces or Saucy and any of those guys.
Starting point is 00:49:43 By the way, I love those two horse faces and we they don't even need names it's just they're just the pony and horse face too they're both they're both their names start with a k it is they're kind of like a hilarious almost like tim burton like creature like you know the two of them they're secretly that two-headed they're secretly that two-headed girl from that tlc show but horrible at least those girls are like nice and pretty compared to these two anyway so one of the horses boyfriends who's secret they're all by the way the horses both have gay boyfriends oh my god totally okay you know that they've had that drunken straight guy like god i wish i had a
Starting point is 00:50:30 blow job right now two in the morning i know me too well don't tell anybody but right yeah people on the army do it okay and both of their girlfriends are flat chested with no hips and probably have dicks so anyway back to the horse faces stassi's having this birthday party a fight breaks out one of the horse faces gay boyfriends calls stassi a bitch she gets up stomps around says how dare you call me a bitch on my birthday grab somebody there's hair pulling there's drink throwing there's a bottle of champagne directly over stassi's head well because what happened was that Jax busted in in his white cable knit sweater. Wait, wait, wait.
Starting point is 00:51:07 Wait, wait, wait. I cannot deal with that look. It is so... The white cable knit sweater cardigan with no t-shirt under it is so International Mail Catalog 1992 when I was coming into the Gatom.
Starting point is 00:51:23 And I was like, oh, maybe i need to get me a white cable knit cardigan and a drawstring like some of those drawstring and a drawstring thong and a man and a man's sandal with a toe ring oh my god oh is that still out do they still have that they're still in there's still a website let me tell you oh my god i need to subscribe i'm going on it right now well jacks came in and that's what got that's what got stassi all riled up and then that's what caused one of the toms because both both the horse faces are dating someone named tom and so then the one that's not tom sandoval whatever that guy he called her a fucking bitch stassi threw a drink in his face so he got up and he took a beer and poured it on stassi's head which for me was such a great feeling of it was amazing it was amazing
Starting point is 00:52:09 i felt like for for one second all was right in the world and then the guys start yelling at each other wait but then stassi did stassi fight one of the horse girls who was kind of her boyfriend one of the horses said that her hair got pulled and she got beer thrown on her but i don't think so at all i think she's just dumb and doesn't realize when her hair is being pulled and when it isn't being pulled. Well, it's not like her boyfriend's pulling her hair because he's pulling on some man pubes instead. Oh, snap. So they all go outside. And then they're like all riled up.
Starting point is 00:52:37 And then Tom, of all people, he's not even involved in this. This is the Tom Sandoval. He just takes off his shirt and starts prancing around in his ass-washed jeans. He's like, all right, come on. I'm so fired up. I'm so fired up. Dude, no one's even talking to you. Like, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:52:52 You're just taking your shirt off just to preen about and act tough. It was like one of the more douchey moments of a show that has many, many, many douchey moments. They should just call the show The Douchebags of West Hollywood. You guys um just an update i went on internationalmail.com it has moved it is now undergear.com thank you can i still can i still get my drawstring linen pant i don't know i haven't made it that far because the guy on the subscription page is so amazing but i did just subscribe to a catalog in the mail so i will be getting that and any of you who um needs a boner please go to undergear.com and subscribe and we can talk
Starting point is 00:53:32 about it next time this why doesn't amazing why doesn't under undergear should start doing ads on our show they should they really should for all the women start contacting you know we need to start contacting um the gays yeah let's get the gays out here let's get them yeah i mean this is pretty much the guest podcast of all time um yeah and all of our straight lady listeners yeah so anyway so this fight goes on um what's his face jacks jacks tells uh frank like to suck his dick which is how's my dick taste or something like that and then he accuses frank of not being classy which is funny
Starting point is 00:54:06 because I think usually if you impregnate someone in Vegas and sleep with a prostitute and do drugs and then say taste my dick that's usually
Starting point is 00:54:13 what I would think is not classy. But you know I'm not from Asusa so I don't know these things. There's a chapter in the Countess Luanda Lucep's
Starting point is 00:54:22 manners book that says how to properly ask somebody to taste your dick. Yeah, I think so. So anyway, so this big fight happens, and then the next day all the horse faces are
Starting point is 00:54:34 super angry, and Stassi is like, you know what, I'm going to hang out with my new friends, because all the people she didn't want to come to her party, they came anyway because they just were so eager to come to Vegas. Yeah, poor things, too, because it was all the hangersers-on it was like the bussers and the hostesses you know what though to be honest they all seem like 10 times nicer and friendlier and cooler than the others and the reason why i feel bad for them is that stassi is going to leave them in a
Starting point is 00:54:58 second she's making them feel all cool by hanging out with them it's like regina george yeah like it was total it was a total mean girl moment because you know she's going to ditch these people who she didn't even want to be there, and now they're her best friends. I hate this show. Yeah, they're really all horrible people. And you know what?
Starting point is 00:55:18 That's what they... Well, look, before I even go on, I have to ask you guys, sir, who hires busboys that look like that i mean that body is stunning i how is that bus boy not like are you talking about the one in the little like black boxer briefs that got into the water yeah into the swimming pool oh yeah it's hotter than all the other guys i did a little rewind on there and you know he's not doing as many drugs because his face still looks halfway decent yeah yeah yeah he he uh he's definitely my favorite and then i think peter probably um i
Starting point is 00:55:50 think this show is horrible and i honestly hope that sir catches on fire with all of them inside and someone locks all the doors so that's my wait so you want it to be a brazilian nightclub pretty much pretty much i'm pretty much rooting for the terrorists at this point yeah um all right well should we go on by the way i have to leave in like five minutes and we have two other we have two other shows to do what are we gonna do how do we do this um well we'll just keep talking without you foo yeah i think that's what will have to happen um so okay it's not like anything happens on the real housewives of atlanta because it's boring no stuff did happen this week um because kenya showed up uh at nini's charity event wearing uh phaedra's bathing suit thing and like a big hat how could i forget that was
Starting point is 00:56:40 one of the strangest moments i love how like ken Kenya's response to being called crazy is to do something really crazy. I don't have the chemical imbalance. How could you call me crazy? Walking in with fishnets and an ass hanging out. By the way, if you need to see Kenya's ass in ass pads, please come to Facebook. I just posted it as our main picture. Ooh, fun. No, she's
Starting point is 00:56:59 I mean, she's an idiot, this woman. Yeah, she truly is. But Ronnie is convinced that it's amazing casting. Well, it is. I mean, she has kept this show alive this season. She really has. She's caused all the conflict, even though she is crazy and, like, nothing makes sense. Nothing that comes out of her mouth makes sense.
Starting point is 00:57:21 What about the meeting with Portia? Oh, I like the meeting with Portia. Why you want to have a meeting with me? You ain't got nothing not to say to me. I'm not nobody's pawn. I don't even know what pawn is. Isn't that the thing you use to wash your soap with your hands with? I don't know. I don't like that pawn.
Starting point is 00:57:37 I'm not an animal. You're a pawn. You're a pawn. You're chemically im You're a chemical imbalance. She sounds like a Muppet baby. And by the way, there was an extended scene at a Moroccan restaurant. Oh my god. Is Andy fucking Mohammed?
Starting point is 00:58:01 He probably thought he was sleeping with Jodie Foster. Then all of a sudden in the morning he realized it was just Mohammed. They do have the same haircut. do oh my god oh so let's move on because i i don't have really atlanta's one of my favorite ones but i just don't really ever have anything to say about it yeah me neither it's like why we don't recap sitcoms because they're funny already like fuck it yeah um yeah wait didn't didn't cynthia do something where she thought she was a model with children? Like she had model children? That was last week. This week she's decided she wants to go into pageants.
Starting point is 00:58:30 And I love it how she talks about how busy she is and they show like a wide shot of her agency. With a tumbleweed going through it. I know, exactly. I feel like cobwebs, you know. Oh, my God. She has the saddest agency. We've seen a lot of bad entrepreneurial endeavors on these series. Nothing has been this bad.
Starting point is 00:58:46 Nothing as bad as the Bailey Agency, which now has to resort to doing pageants. Cynthia Bailey presents the Miss Renaissance pageant. Well, that's actually good business. Do you ever watch that Toddlers and Tiaras? God, those women spend so much money on that crap. It's ridiculous. Honey Boo Boo came out of that shit. I bet she got that idea from watching Toddlers and Tiaras,
Starting point is 00:59:06 and she found the perfect business queen to hook up with. Because he's amazing. He's like, okay, for them to show up, it's $250. If they want to be entered in the makeup contest, it's $9,000. If they want to walk down the runway, that's their college tuition. And if they want to wave at people you charge them another 17 000 it's like whoa i love that you said college tuition because that is not a factor yeah exactly that's why they're all giving it up yeah yeah no he's he that guy was good and he's
Starting point is 00:59:38 gonna be the one who runs this operation cynthia's gonna sit there with she'll put on her like big glasses to make herself look serious and won't do a thing. Yeah. She's like, I've got a fro. Look, I'm stylish everybody. Yeah. Cynthia still needs to shut up and stop kissing everybody's ass. And gossiping. She was the one who went and told Kenya what Phaedra said. I mean, she is such a
Starting point is 00:59:58 freaking gossip. Yeah, and then she just sits back and watches, never says a thing. And I can't believe she's never called out. Yeah. Except at reunions she is yeah oh the reunion this reunion is going to be nasty that's me craziness oh it's going to be wonderful watching kenya go off is going to be wonderful yeah it will be great okay so what's next we have which which which which guys let me tell you like a little segue here um they actually this past week filmed the shah's reunion so they are fine after a second season with like such great ratings
Starting point is 01:00:33 andy is actually branching out and doing a proper shah's reunion a la the beverly hills are all of the housewives yeah that's gonna be good that's gonna be really good and there's a lot of shit to air and i heard that uh mj is not speaking apparently on watch what happens she said that she's not speaking with um reza so wow something went down i guess after the show so that'll be homegirl like won't talk to me anymore i think it's because i took that slider she was running after when we were working out like i don't know what the deal is but like homegirl like she has to talk to me so you're accused somebody of being a pill popper what's the big deal so she's a drug addict and can probably never find another job because of it who cares so i slandered somebody
Starting point is 01:01:15 big deal at the end of the day at the end of the day we're a family and it's like my duty to make sure that we're all friends And so even though she's a pill popper and doesn't want to admit it It's my duty to love her and support her no matter what yeah We're a family and sometimes in families people hate their parents and they kick their kids out on the street never talk to them again So it sort of makes sense that we won't talk to Gigi and then we shut mj that's what families do dad i i just i needed you so much and i love you dad but like you make it very hard for me home girl i love that he calls his grandma home girl home girl can like drink a vodka tonic like
Starting point is 01:02:08 how how persian is that okay let me tell you how persian i am when they kept mentioning vodka tonics with ginger ale in them i went and made myself one and it's fucking delicious oh yeah they're delicious those are good drinks never had that before so you know what i actually thought this week's episode was really good and i actually really enjoyed both therapy sessions we saw even though they were totally kooky one featured gg talking to herself and i actually got my favorite part of that because she had to like shuttle so she had like nice gg had to talk to bad gg back and forth they had a conversation and then at one point bad gg says like i want to kill someone and then like good gg says well i can't respond to that bitch you said it in the first place you cornered yourself again bipolar i can't
Starting point is 01:02:55 argue with that i wish one of them had told the other one that week is terrible god that week is bad change that thing girl um i also i did enjoy did enjoy MJ and her mom, their therapy session. I thought that was like, it's like just a nice scene. Like I don't have anything snarky to say. Wait, you don't have anything snarky to say? Well, I mean, I thought it was, I mean, it was funny, which is like, I want her to manage her time and less shopping. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:23 I love the MJ's list. She's like, okay, you two make a list about things that you want to change about the other one don't talk just make the list and mj's list is like i want to feel loved i want some respect i want my mother to stop being hateful i want my mother to apologize for the horrible life she's given me i want my mother to get down on her knees and pray to god to give her a better soul i want my mother she the therapist on her knees and pray to God to give her a better soul. I want my mother. The therapist is like, stop. And then her mom only has, I wish you would stop less.
Starting point is 01:03:51 And I wish you would be more responsible and on time. I did love that. I also liked, by the way, Asa recording with the Persian pop star. And all she had to do do she wasn't even singing she was just like talking like her thing was to say like I'm driving in my car going down the C-H and like he's like
Starting point is 01:04:14 can you do like P-C-H P-C-H no P-C-H and she's like oh okay P-C-H like you bitch can't you say you're not even you don't even have to say hit a note you just have to do an inflection you can't he wanted an inflection on the c she could not process that she's going to ruin persian palooza and what's with that song i'm in my car driving
Starting point is 01:04:36 down sunset it's raining and so i get wet what who's writing this Who's writing this? Who's writing this song? It also doesn't rain here. It rains diamond water. I liked the beginning of the episode when Reza got her some stones, probably from like a Chachki shop. And she's like, yeah, I thought of you. And she's like, ooh, yeah, it's powerful. I can really feel it. Shut up. By the way, every rock I now see, I immediately put it up to my third eye chakra, whatever it's called.
Starting point is 01:05:06 I'm like walking around and I'm putting like, oh, here's my mouse. I'm putting that up against my, what is that guy's third eye chakra? Yeah, third eye chakra. I just, I like to feel, I like to feel the energy as it seeps through my body and tingles up my arm. I don't know. What is this bullshit? It's a bunch of new age crap it's really easy to be very peaceful and centered when your parents buy you everything and you have a home
Starting point is 01:05:29 that's already paid for and don't have to work a day in your life congratulations on your piece bitch right and you drive a mercedes sl convertible that is worth over a hundred thousand dollars and you have a mansion in venice and then your mom has to like work until her bloody hands um can't stop bleeding because her family has no money. Imagine with $30,000 worth of gold that you decide to bury under the doorstep. She's a fucking idiot. I just can't
Starting point is 01:05:56 get on that train. I can't get on it. I love her. I don't care. Meanwhile, I'm also mad at Mike. I never really loved Mike. I feel like he's very sanctimonious and he's condescending when he talks to people and i really hated how all season he's been saying to gg he's like you raised your hand you raise your hand you can't do that we're family we don't we don't raise our hand to people that's like violent we don't do that and then we get to this like dinner party where the whole point is to finally broker a peace between gg and asa and what does
Starting point is 01:06:22 mike do he gets his tiny little, like, five-foot-three frame up into a tizzy because Omid allegedly said something. And then Mike is the one who gets all, you know, he's standing up and he's the one making sort of violent overtures. It was such hypocritical bullshit. I hate it so much. Mike,
Starting point is 01:06:39 say I hate it, though, like, the proper way. I hate it, though, like the proper way. I hate it. You have to say it like that. I hate it. I hate it. Like, I don't understand these people. Like, I just want to make my bikinis. And, like, they're, like, fighting.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Like, why do we fight? I don't want to fight. I want to go and talk to my ex. What's with the dude who came to Lily's office and was like, listen here. I don't like you doing this bikini. This is disrespectful to your parents. You think they like this? You think that your fiance is not embarrassed?
Starting point is 01:07:09 This is why he's embarrassed. You need to go back to law. I thought that was all staged, to be honest. I'm going to call the stage flag on that. Yeah, that was totally staged. And I'm obsessed with Lily, so don't talk shit about her. Yeah, I like Lily. Although, like I said before,
Starting point is 01:07:23 when she talks about moderation with plastic surgery, it's sort of like, I don't talk shit about her yeah i like lily although like i said before when she talks about like moderation with plastic surgery it's sort of like i don't know i i can't even come up with a good analogy all that talk about vanderpump rules has officially destroyed my brain what gave him the idea that she's looking for respect i mean she's got fucking two toddlers on her chest yeah and as she talks to her co-worker, like, Oopsie, boopsie, coopsie, have fun with your husband. Have fun. Love you. I'll take them. I'll horses on Vanderpump Rules.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Oh, yeah. I want to take them over Horse Face 1 and 2. Dead horses. Dead horses. So, anyway, we were left with a cliffhanger, which is, is Gigi going to stab everyone at the dinner party? Yeah, the answer is maybe. And you know what they were serving at the dinner party? Moroccan food.
Starting point is 01:08:28 Pomegranates. Moroccan food, I think. I think someone noted on Facebook. Crispy rice. God, they love some crispy rice. That is like Persian crack. That's so Persian. White people are like, I don't want my carbs, but Persians are like,
Starting point is 01:08:44 give me some rice with saffron in it and some pomegranates I want some lavash homegirl like give me that lavash I was like trying to make a Julia Child recipe homegirl only cooks French where are her Persian recipes so let's end with
Starting point is 01:09:02 a little tiny bit of talk about Top Chef did you guys watch I like the Asian girl I love her and she won last chance kitchen again of course because it was against stupid Josie oh dude you know it's like we're making chicken and I'm like
Starting point is 01:09:17 I'm from the south and like I can make a chicken you guys like I'm amazing no one's gonna beat me at this chicken challenge Josie reminds me of like that big junkyard dog that was the bad guy on the cartoon heathcliff mixed with goofy see matt another reason why i was sad that you weren't here last week was because i think ryan and i went on a big tangent about uh something about cartoon hippos and tutus you did and I was very sad
Starting point is 01:09:46 to be part of that. I still listen even though I'm not on. Don't get it twisted. Oh, I don't. I know you don't, bitch. You can say whatever you want about me when I'm not here, because I don't give a shit. Well, I'm checking in to make sure shit is not being talked about. I like to leave the shit talk. Well, you did
Starting point is 01:10:02 talk about me a little bit, but I prefer my shit talking to come from Eddie McGee, our number one iTunes commenter who says, quote, great show, guys. Like it way better when bitchy Matt is gone. Thanks, Eddie McGee. Thanks, bud. You're proving you're not bitchy the same way Kenya proves she's not crazy. I mean, don't call me out on that shit. I just took my bitch factor to a whole another level
Starting point is 01:10:26 listen we love you because you're bitchy okay never change okay yay i'm patting my microphone again man but watching josie get kicked off for barbecue is fucking amazing especially since she kept saying she's from the south and she's from miami has anybody ever heard that that's the south because i've not heard that well the fact is yes it is kind of southern but miami is not known for its barbecue no it's not the south give me a break miami is known for its barbecue as much as Josie is known for her cooking. Hey-o! Hey-o! So that bitch is gone, and it was amazing to see her get axed in twice in a row in the kitchen. The last chance kitchen as well.
Starting point is 01:11:14 But also, oh god, that was one. Michelle Bernstein is the biggest C word in the world. I was gonna say, but you love her. Yes. Actually, I worked at a Moroccan restaurant for a long time called Chameau. And Michelle Bernstein came in there with two other famous chefs who have been on Top Chef. I don't even remember who the hell they are right now.
Starting point is 01:11:34 But they came in. And then they opened a restaurant called – it's where LA Sports Club is. Social. It was called Social. With, like, half of our menu on it. Oh. They're pretty slimy. But anyway, she's a C-word word but she's a very funny one so what's the deal on when you're watching uh bravo and last chance kitchen you get to see who's battling to come back to the show right
Starting point is 01:11:57 that's the surprise of last chance kitchen if you wait to come back to the show but then they have another thing called fan favorite and whoever wins Fan Favorite, they get another chance too. So are they bringing two people back? Yeah, and when are they bringing them back? I don't get it. God, Bravo, you don't need your shows to be six months long, okay? Stop it. Well, they want us to watch all this extra shit on their website,
Starting point is 01:12:22 and nobody wants to do that. And I think a lot of Top Chef fans are kind of like, I don't give a fuck what's going on. All I care about is the show. Yeah, I've never watched it until this one, because I really want to see Kristen. And it was lovely to watch her beat that arrogant asshole CJ. God, I hate that guy. I hate CJ also. One ball CJ?
Starting point is 01:12:42 One nut CJ. One ball CJ. Even in this one, he's not... Oh, that was me. Plug in your headphones, whoever took out their headphones. That's obnoxious. Hey, I gotta go, actually. Okay, bye. You guys keep talking.
Starting point is 01:13:00 Bye, everyone. We're almost done, but we'll finish it. Okay, bye. Talk to you later. Bye. Bye. So CJ in Last Chance Kitchen, which you don't even watch chance you need to pause for a second where is he going um i don't know but he stayed later but i don't know i don't know where he was going he never says like some mystery some mystery foodie thing i'm sure it's what he
Starting point is 01:13:19 does foodie thing i think it's a grinder thing no i think it's like a foodie thing where it's like he has a dinner or something to go to i feel like grinder should probably be our other sponsor grinder oh my god i know except they don't need a sponsor it's like you don't need to advertise water because everybody has to drink it and except for diamond water except for diamond water yeah but i feel like all the gays already have Grindr. Like, even if you look at gays on dates, you know, you'll see them in restaurants on a date, and they look at their phones, you see that yellow shining onto their face, and you know their ass is on Grindr. Why do you think I don't wear my glasses on dates, Ronnie? Because people will see the reflection.
Starting point is 01:14:00 Oh my god, that's so good. I don't use that Grindr. I've talked about that before but i still wait you prefer scruff use scruff no i don't do any of that in that phone fucking i just i'm i was raised a prude you know i'm a i'm a homo so that's i know kind of a conundrum because clearly we're talking about the housewives yeah yeah oh it's Ben's gone. Okay, you can turn this off now. Ben left. But yeah, I'm not really a big internet fucker. Like, I believe in meeting somebody, you know? Says the guy who was like, yeah, I'd bus for Jack's. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:43 speaking of busing top chef is really kind of good this season. The ratings are mediocre. I don't know if people think it's running out of steam, but I'm kind of, I'm kind of enjoying it. I'm loving top slash. I will not enjoy it unless Kristen wins. I, you know,
Starting point is 01:14:57 I, I'm kind of rooting for that little Hawaiian guy, but it looks like he's in trouble this week. Oh, he's totes in danger. I feel like the top chef previews always give away exactly what's going to happen. Yeah, they are not tricky, are they? No, it's like we are a little more savvy.
Starting point is 01:15:13 Hello, we are not your average NBC viewer. This is Bravo, people. Agreed. And I hope that someone good wins. I just hope it's not like the bacon guy fucking idiot. With the greasy handlebar mustache? Yeah. You know, like I'm not against being fat, obviously, because I am fat.
Starting point is 01:15:33 But I'm so anti-fat people always like, oh, bacon. Oh, that's my personality. I'm going to wear a bacon shirt. It's like, what, the third guy on Top Chef who's been like that? I know. bacon shirt it's like what the third guy on top chef who's been like that and then i know another it's like it's like all these people were growing up like you know six years ago and they all saw that like one bacon shirt at urban outfitters and they were like oh that's my fucking life's motto yeah like identify it with something other than a dead pig that you murdered okay like not to be
Starting point is 01:16:00 you know on a soapbox because i don't have a vegetarian soapbox. I do. I love it when you do that. Well, I've been watching, you know, because TV, I only have so much TV. I pretty much watch these Bravo shows for this. And then I watch some dramas, but they're all on hiatus right now. So I've been watching a lot of Netflix. And man, you watch one healthy documentary on Netflix and everything they show you after that is like some vegetarian bullshit and so i'm getting brain i'm totally getting brainwashed by watching all these movies like which ones well i saw food ink and then um that changed my life yeah that was good
Starting point is 01:16:37 and then that led into food matters and then that led into the gerson miracle and then that led into the Gerson miracle. And then that led to, my God, I can't even name them. I probably watched like 11 of them trying to brainwash myself into not being fat. And I think it's working. I think that the key to success is lemons from Yolanda's garden. Totally. Poop out some lemons.
Starting point is 01:17:02 The only animal I want to kill now is my dog Bueller. Don't say that. He's too cute. Yeah, he's kind of cute. So I think we're done with all the Bravo shows. Did we miss one? Yeah, we did miss Patty Stanger's show, which all of us have decided collectively not to watch, and that is saying a lot when we've decided to watch
Starting point is 01:17:20 Vanderpump Rules over anything else on Bravo, people. Patty out. Stassi in. There's a problem. Yeah. People love that show, though. It does pretty well, doesn't it?
Starting point is 01:17:32 You look at ratings. Yeah. I mean, Patty has done well for quite some time. I think this is actually her sixth season. So, you know, I think that she's now hanging out with Denise Richards and trying to hook up Denise Richards' dad. I mean, there's. Oh, God. Yeah. I mean, it's just getting desperado up in there. Or as the Atlanta housewives would say, oh, she's thirsty. Oh, I didn't think she was just thirsty.
Starting point is 01:17:54 Oh, she's thirsty and she's starving. Oh, so you're going to bite now? Oh, Phaedra. So there are some new ones coming out. There's this one with two old queens in Hugh Hefner jackets who run a thrift store on Melrose. It's frightening. I do not ever want to accidentally wander into that store. We are so going to accidentally walk in there and the cameras will be rolling.
Starting point is 01:18:16 It's going to be a fucked up mess. The other new show that's coming out is called, like, L.A. Therapists. Like, we need another fucking show like that. Yeah. Are we crazy? Oh, my God. The therapists are the crazy another fucking show like that. Are we crazy? Oh my god, the therapists are the crazy ones. Oh. All I want is
Starting point is 01:18:32 for the Real Housewives of Orange County to come back because as much as I hate Tamara Vieth Barney with all of my being, I need her back on my screen. Well, you know, you can always catch her on her podcast don't don't stop giving her props i can't stand that one yeah she's pretty horrible but you know
Starting point is 01:18:53 this season's gonna be so good uh vicky left a tweet uh i might have said this already on the show i'm sorry if i did um i'm i'm the son of someone who likes to drink a lot and so i tend to repeat my stories just like my family but um your breast milk is really just a white russian totally i smell like francia that's my cologne but she um she tweeted one night or she tweeted in the daytime i'm so excited to go see the girls this is going to be so fun and then at night she tweeted i'm heartbroken and And something, you know. I saw that. Which was wonderful.
Starting point is 01:19:28 Which means it's going to be a great fucking season. And she breaks her neck. And what, I mean, we already know it's going to be just so, so good. But I wanted to give an update. We were talking about The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and Camille accusing Lisa of not even owning her restaurants and all this. So I did google it while you guys were talking earlier um and twitter apparently comes through again lisa admitted to only owning 51 because her partners who are the managers that we've seen on the show on the other
Starting point is 01:19:57 49 well we've already known that so yeah we knew that so what is camille trying to do and this is coming from reality t by the way. Camille said, Camille explained herself on Twitter and admits she got it twisted. Quote, I did feel really bad for saying anything. I was a bit misinformed. I stand corrected. Oh, gee, I wonder who misinformed you. Adrian?
Starting point is 01:20:19 Oh, I was going to say Adrian. Well, it's always Adrian and Kyle because the two of them are a nasty team of horrible monsters yeah they are horrible so someone else wrote uh to camille they tweeted her how do you think uh they wrote her how do you feel about lisa following everyone except for you of course it's twitter so the actual sentence is how do you feel about Lisa following everyone expect you? It was too many characters. Twitter is like a damnation of our school system. I know. I'm an editor. Trust me. It makes me
Starting point is 01:20:54 want to kill myself. And Camille wrote back, how do you think I should feel? Sad face. Why would someone want to be your friend if you just accuse them of being in line with terrorists for their funding for their restaurants or whatever. Excuse me. Don't get me riled up at the end of the show after Ben has left so he cannot back me up here,
Starting point is 01:21:09 but we fucking love Camille Grammer, so don't you talk shit about her. Camille Grammer. Okay. I said it in season one, and I'm never going to let it go. Camille Grammer is an asshole. She's always been an asshole. Just because she has IBS doesn't mean she's an asshole, Ronnie. Well, she's an explosive asshole in that case. But she is an asshole, Ronnie. Well, she's an explosive asshole in that case.
Starting point is 01:21:25 But she is an asshole. In season one, she was a horrible human being. Then in season two, she knew she was a horrible human being, so she kept her fucking mouth shut. And this season, she's been doing the same thing. But we're about to see old Camille back on the scene. You have to give her some props for when she's in the confessional because she gives good confessional where she's like, um, dear Taylor, shut the fuck up, bitch. We don't care about your husband who hung himself. Stop talking about your story.
Starting point is 01:21:52 You're irrelevant. And even though I'm just a friend of the housewives now and you're a full time cast member, everybody who's watching the show knows that I should be on it. Not you, bitch. That's what she says. And I love it. And I do love that, too. I'm not saying I want Camille to be. So essentially, you love anybody that's willing to punch Taylor in the face.
Starting point is 01:22:07 Oh, my God, for sure. Okay, me too. For sure. Yeah, I even like Kennedy because I know that at one time she came out of Taylor and made her feel extreme pain. Exactly. But, yeah, I want Camille on the show. I enjoy an asshole. Oh, and by the way, what happened to Taylor this week?
Starting point is 01:22:23 She was conspicuously absent. I don't know, but I think that, I mean, look, she's kind of like Lisa Hochstein. It's kind of like once your story is over, how are you still going to remain? Yeah, she's done. I think that our prediction is going to come true about old Taylor, and she's going to be off the show next year. Fail her! Fail her, but the big fail is, I mean, we fucking hate Faye Resnick, and that bitch is gonna take her spot.
Starting point is 01:22:48 No, she's not gonna be a regular. She's gonna be a friend of. I think she was made a regular friend of, but not. Well, then maybe my dream is really gonna happen, and I, you know, if people were looking, again, we taped the show on Tuesdays, and I was looking at my Instagram earlier today, and Bethany was having some meetings with
Starting point is 01:23:03 Andy Cohen in New York. They were having lunch together and snapping photos. I don't think – yeah, but they're friends. Remember, Jill Zarin said it in their interview. She's like, oh, really? You're friends with Bethany? You go to dinner with Bethany? How come you never went to dinner with me?
Starting point is 01:23:16 You went to dinner with Bethany all the time? Well, okay, that's true. They may be friends, but you can also not count out the fact that Andy Cohen with dollar signs in his eyes and his cross eyes is probably thinking like, OK, Bethany's going through this nasty divorce. How can I make this happen on a TV show, whether it be a new show or an existing franchise? Oh, yeah. It's going to be Bethany alone again. With her and Cookie. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:23:43 Yeah, because Bethany is never going to be a housewife again. She'll do another spinoff, but I don't Bethany's never going to be a housewife again. She'll do another spinoff, but I don't think she's ever going to be a housewife again. Ronnie, I want her to be on Beverly Hills. Yeah, but now she's a solo act. You don't go from being a solo act back to an ensemble. She's never going to do it. No way. Nene's going to as soon as the new normal gets canceled.
Starting point is 01:24:02 Got picked up for their back nine. So that's promising. I mean, I like the show. It's just the ratings. I'm just nervous. Well, NeNe is not an idiot. First of all, she's the highest paid housewife because that's the highest rated show, and she's the star of it. She's not going to leave that behind.
Starting point is 01:24:19 I know. She's not a dumb woman. I mean, she's not going to leave that behind. She will always keep her claws in it, and that's why she's like, yeah, I'm going to Hollywood. If your asses want to follow your star, bring a not a dumb woman. I mean, she's not going to leave that behind. She will always keep her claws in it. And that's why she's like, yeah, I'm going to Hollywood. If your asses want to follow your star, bring a camera crew, girl. Hell yeah. And I love Nene, like suddenly all rich and famous with her like stuck up ass. It's so funny. Yes.
Starting point is 01:24:36 Well, will you do our house? Do you do other homes? Because we just moved to the hills. It's like, yes, Nene. They know where the hills is. Right. Exactly. When she said that i was like
Starting point is 01:24:45 you are so ghetto because like interior illusions is right down the street from both of us and i'm like um yeah i've been in there and yeah they know where the hills are bitch it's called up the block yeah please don't brag about living next door to don johnson or whatever d-lister you've got up your sleeve okay no one cares right in your leased house Mickey Rourke shut up anyway we you know again this was our second podcast of the day because Ben fucked up and deleted our first one minutes computer crash so at the beginning of the episode we did not give
Starting point is 01:25:17 out our Twitter handles so follow me Matt at life on the M list follow Ronnie at TV gasm follow Ben Ben at B-Side Blog. And follow us as a podcast at What Crappens. And don't forget to get in the mix with us on Facebook. It is so much fun. We're at Facebook.com backslash
Starting point is 01:25:35 Watch What Crappens. The interaction that you guys provide, the photos, the commentary, it makes me laugh on a daily basis. I love it. Thank you for that. And thank you everyone except for Eddie McGee for your amazing five-star reviews on iTunes.
Starting point is 01:25:52 We really do appreciate it. We love you guys. We have a few cool things in the works potentially for 2013. So keep your eyes peeled and continue to follow us and listen to us. We really appreciate it. Yeah, guys. Thanks so much. And if you ever want to buy ad space, just contact us. Add us at Twitter and listen to us. We really appreciate it. Yeah, guys, thanks so much. And if you ever want to buy ad space,
Starting point is 01:26:08 just contact us, add us at Twitter. Tweet us. Tweet us. Tweet us, darlings, because we will now be selling ads. That's right. We're going to buy a mansion. We're going to lease a mansion. We're going to lease one Range Rover for the three of us.
Starting point is 01:26:23 And yeah, then we're going to ask Bethany to pay for our medical bills as well. Totally. So thanks a lot, you guys, for listening. And we will be back next week. We'll talk to you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. is And we all lose our charms in the end. Let's quick cut your hair shape.
Starting point is 01:27:08 These rocks don't lose their shape. Thy wounds are a girl's best friend. If you like listening to comedy, try watching it on the internet. The folks behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin that's me
Starting point is 01:27:46 takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more you don't have to wait any longer just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy there's no need to wait for it anymore because it's here and it's funny
Starting point is 01:28:01 and I love you a few days ago Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money.
Starting point is 01:28:23 Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself
Starting point is 01:28:49 by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.

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