Watch What Crappens - #60: Tea Parties, Sur Idiots, and Persian-Palooza!

Episode Date: February 13, 2013

Tea Parties, Sur Idiots, and Persian-Palooza! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Don't forget about Valentine's Day. This offer ends soon, so order today. Hey, everyone. It's Watch What Crap In's, a weekly podcast dedicated to all that fun stuff on Bravo that we love. I'm Ben Mandelker from b-sideblog.com. You can find me at b-sideblog on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook. And also we have Ronnie Karam from tvgasm.com. Hi, Ronnie. Well, hello, everybody.

Ronnie can also be found at TVgasm on Twitter. Are you on Instagram, Ronnie? No, not really. I think I have like two pictures of my dog. Okay. And also Matt Woodfield from Yahoo. Hello, Matt. Hey, guys.

Matt is at life on the M list on Twitter. I'm also on the Instagram. I need some more fucking Instagram people. Oh, I just said fucking and that lady doesn't like me

when I say the F word. Oh, my God. This podcast is already ruined. Oh, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. Let's talk to Eddie. He thinks it's always my fault. Oh, my God.

Poor Eddie. Poor Eddie. Eddie follows me on Instagram now, actually. Eddie, why aren't you following me on Instagram god damn it actually you guys should everyone should follow all of us on instagram because uh instagram is so much fun and on top of that on our fate we have a facebook page to our our podcast here and it's facebook.com watch what crap ends and you should especially follow that if you aren't already because not only do we post the fun stuff and there's great discussion but we post fun photos too and last night when i was watching real housewives of beverly hills i was looking at taylor armstrong's

crazy face and i just couldn't resist it i had to take all these still shots and i compiled them into a little uh collage and put them up on our facebook page so i hope everyone looks at that and enjoys it. Our Facebook is actually blowing up. We're almost at 1,000. I don't know if it's likes or followers or whatever, but it's a lot of fun, and we really appreciate all of you guys interacting with us there. And then also, obviously, you know how I live for an iTunes comment, and we really do appreciate it.

We're still a full five stars this far in. I think this is our 60th episode, you guys. Oh, wow. We really should start planning our 69th episode. We have nine weeks to do this. I think our 69th episode should definitely be involving MJ and some sliders. A true celebration. We'll just go across the street, knock on her door.

She's like, you cannot come in. It's Persia Belusia. We'll be like, no, but we have sliders. We have sliders made with pomegranates and chickpeas and lamb. Before we start, don't you guys think it's really weird? Like I actually watched Shah's Beverly Hills and Vanderpump Rules back to back to back the other night. And it's just so bizarre to me that we live amongst them. They go everywhere I go.

They were like the horses from Vanderpump Rules were eating brunch at home in Silver Lake go everywhere I go. The horses from Vanderpump Rules were eating brunch at home in Silver Lake, which I love. It's just too weird for me. You know what's funny? I've never been to home, and after seeing that, I was like, I kind of want to go there now. It's delicious. Maybe we'll have our... Oh, it does. I was in a frat.

I can deal with bar rot. Were we in the same frat, actually? I think we both were in Sigap, right? Everybody right now, like all the ladies that are listening are going home i got these homos were in frats we were in fraternities and we watched football yeah only because in the 80s all the pornos were about frat guys like giving each other blowjobs okay maybe that's true and half of my frat half of my frat was like closeted gay dudes but that's another story and mine too um but no getting back to your point it is crazy i mean i think the same things you know when they're when they're wandering around it's like this is this is our

town i mean we see our balconies we see our buildings on these shows it's the craziest shit of all time i'm i'm i'm probably the one, but I like hit pause on the aerial shots, and I'm like, wait, where actually is Lily's condo? Oh, it's right there. Oh, yeah. I found Lily's condo. Do you know where it is? Isn't she on Burton Way or is that Golnessa? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Lily, for all those who want to stalk Lily, her condo is the one that's at the intersection of Fountain and La Cienega. Oh, that's her. Okay. That's a nice one. That's a tall building, yeah. And remember, I saw her at the CVS across the street, which further confirmed it. Right. She's in the middle of the gay zone.

Go, Lily. Yeah, she is. She probably has a penis. Let's get real. I don't know. Anyway, we have so much to talk about aside from Los Angeles geography. And we're going to talk about all our favorite shows, Top Chef

Top Chef, Real Housewives of Atlanta, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Shaz the Sunset and Vanderpump Rules and we have some gossip too, Ronnie do you have gossip for us? No not really I'll get to it in the Beverly Hills stuff, there's a lot of

extra Beverly Hills stuff today. So that'll just be a really long conversation. Well, why don't, since Beverly Hills. Can I ask a quick question? Can I ask a quick question before we do Beverly Hills? I don't know. Can you? Okay.

Well, may I? Yes. Okay. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you. I hope you're pointing your finger in my face because I'm pointing my finger back in your face like Kim Richards calling you a slut pig. It was for Eddie McGee, I have to admit.

Oh, okay. I just had a quick question. I guess it's kind of for everybody also that's listening to the podcast. You guys should weigh in on the Facebook page. But are we going to be watching the new Medical Wives show? Are we going to be watching the LA Shrinks show? Are we going to invest in either of those? I have things

to say about that um la shrinks i don't think i'm very invested in that even though oddly enough my friend was on the promo so i guess he's one of the patients but i still don't think i'm gonna watch but then um at the the doctor and married to medicine at first i was like oh great here's another generic show but then when that australian was like, act like a doctor's wife, not like a common whore or something like that. I was like, that's when I was sold. Yeah. I was like,

okay. And then they showed like the women like tackling each other at a restaurant. I was like, okay, I'll watch. Anytime there's a fight at a restaurant or around a dinner table. We're in.

Yeah. I'm down. That show looks horrible, but they all do. I mean, like, let's, let's talk about all the shows that are coming out.

There's that one. Okay. There's The Shrinks. That looks just horrible. And she's like, we're crazy. What about The Dukes of Melrose? No, I'm not going to watch that one. That looks awful.

Those are the kind of people I fucking avoid in this town. Those old queens in Hugh Hefner robes, and they smell like patchouli. Patchouli? Chanel for men. It's like a mixture, you know, an old spice deodorant like all mixed together and just like old fart. No, gross. Let me ask you guys just one other thing. So what do you think about the fact that obviously Rachel Zoe and Brad had a major falling out.

They have not been talking and now Bravo has decided to pair them on fashion night. So it's going to be an hour of rachel zo followed by brad brad world and then the dukes of melrose do you think that rachel is hating on bravo or is that you know skeletor bitch just still excited to be on tv uh i think i think bravo is just being tricky i think not tricky they're trying i think i don't know i think they're they've realized that they've since project runway they have never been able to get fashion off the ground again and so they're like well you know rachel zoe is pretty much their flagship fashion show at this point and they're like well we might as well stick brad in there because you

know he doesn't do well enough on his own so they paired him down to half an hour stuck him with the dukes of melrose and you know put him next to rachel zoe i don't know i think bravo is trying i think they're calling it fashion night, but what they really mean is why straight people hate us night. And they're just going to shove it all together in one night and just let all the gay bashers go for it and use that as their defense when they drag us

around the streets in the back of their pickup truck. You know, if Bravo had any sense, they wouldn't be playing around with Dukes of Melrose and Brad Brad World. They should bring back Kill on Earth and pair that with Rachel Jones. Don't even get me started. I want more Kill on Earth. I love that show.

Cry outside. It's fucking fashion week. Which coincidentally it is right now in New York City. I don't have time for this, Matt. It's fucking fashion week. Did anybody watch that show last year? It was paired with that horrible Chris March show, but I liked the one where it was like that bitch at the,

that really bitchy girl at a New York, like, thrift store, and they were like, a consignment shop. They have, I feel like every year they sort of trot out some generic consignment shop show, because didn't they have one that took place in Melrose that was like, L.A. consignment, and then people would come and be like, this is worth $300, and they're like, well, we'll give you $20, and they'd, like took place in melrose that was like la consignment and then people come and be like this is worth 300 and like well we'll give you 20 and they'd like start each other i'd be like boom and then go to commercial yeah well that was a dramatic moment ben so we needed a gong and you know that's what happens and go right to commercial shows i hate those shows for the same reason i hate thrifting in la because it's not fucking thrifting it's it's

so bad what they do here you You go into a place, you see a pair of jeans and you're like, that'll be $70. Really, bitch? These are old ass things. These smell like the 70s. That's how gross these things are. You have to go to a thrift shop. You have to go east of

downtown or go to Reseda or downtown. Are you wearing dirty used clothes me yes um they're dirty but they're not used east of downtown i'm not that's not worth there's actually no you know why it's worth it you know it's worth it there is an amazing thrift shop that's east of downtown the saint the depaul whatever society i went there once and i saw ryan gosling and that made it worth it you know i saw him at the ymca he knows he makes a lot of money right whoa whoa whoa whoa did you see him in the locker room a and ben did you see

him in a non-changing room at the thrift store go he was um he was in jeans and a white v-neck much like what i'm wearing right now uh except he looks much better than i do in this outfit and uh i never had a thing for ryan gosling before that and first of all i always thought he was like 5 10 turns out he's like 6 3 or something like that and a crazy handsome person and now i appreciate the ryan gosling ronnie did you see him in the locker room come on no he is not going to be getting naked at the YMCA. He's not stupid. I mean, we all have cell phone cameras now. And you know that YMCA has signs all over it that say no cell phones allowed in the locker room because you know people are taking pictures of TV stars and stuff in there. But, no, I saw him outside on a bench just chilling after he was finished working out.

Excuse me for a minute. And I, of course, found a reason to be on my cell phone next to that bench for about 10 minutes. This, once again, this folds back into this discussion before. I can't believe we live in this city because not only do we see our haunts on these TV shows, when we go to our haunts, we see people that we should not be crossing paths with. Like I saw, back when I was a member of 24 Hour Fitness years ago, I saw Justin Timberlake there twice. That should not be. I should not be seeing Justin Timberlake at the gym.

Because then you feel like shit afterwards. You're like, oh, I thought I was making progress. And then Justin Timberlake walks in, and I'm not making any progress whatsoever. The point is, the LA can be extremely defeating. Yeah, that guy from Babe who's like that'll be what does he say that's the old man from Babe

that'll do Babe yeah that'll do pig he went to that gym too and I was like oh my god James Cromwell looks better than me I'm really really going down okay let's get to some housewives let's get to be ridiculous at this point let's get to beverly hills you know where you guys can also see famous people on tv like who cares yeah okay so um let's go to you want to start with bevs i think because that was last night so why don't we just because it's the freshest, let's start with Beverly Hills, where the big story was that Lisa Vanderpump had what's turning into her annual tea party.

And it was a disaster, as usual. First of all, I was very sad that Kim Richards wasn't there, but I loved her excuse. Ronnie, can you please play Kim Richards on the phone drunk right now calling Lisa? Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Ring, ring, ring. Answer. Hey, Lisa. I'm so sorry.

I was on my way over there, but then I got hit in the face. I got hit not by a person, by this dog. I got this huge dog. He's so big. He's like a horse. And then I told him, you can't have that rope, and he punched me in the face. He punched me.

I'm going to be doing some PSAs about it, starring Emilio Estevez. We've been in contract negotiations. The lights went out in the room, and I didn't see the dog, and he jumped on me.

And there was a Ferris wheel that I got on. And I was like, why am I on the Ferris wheel, not the freeway? I got to go. Someone's in my bushes. TMZ, get out of my bushes, TMZ. Don't you need to go dust your picture frames, Kim? Yeah. I'm making chicken salad in the closet.

The dog's outside guiding me. He says he's the key master and I'm the gatekeeper. We gotta find Zool. We gotta find Zool. Okay, are we all in agreement that she is not sober? She's never been sober. This is, to me, my favorite Kim Richards excuse

because all the other ones were kind of like had an elaborate story of like, well, the lights went off and I couldn't find my hair dryer and the mirrors were dirty and all that.

But this one, she's like, uh, I got hit in the face. She's getting to the point now. She's like, she's running out of ideas. I got hit in the face. Where were the Bravo cameras then? Because that was a missed opportunity.

Oh, my God. She's probably having the maid dust them off downstairs while she was upstairs getting beat by her dog. Yeah, that was crazy. She's not sober. She has not been sober. That whole interview she did with Andy after the reunion or whatever, she was completely drunk into. Her interview about being sober, she was drunk. So I don't know. I kind of like her that way. I mean, we asked one of my family members to sober up and it was hell. We ended up asking her to start drinking again.

asking her to start drinking again. So anyway, so aside from Kim, I mean, the episode pretty much started out with Lisa demanding that Kyle defend her, and Kyle was like, it's just so hard for me. You know, she's trying to pull a page from her sister,

and I didn't buy any of it. Did you guys? Well, no. Nobody buys anything from coming out of Kyle's mouth. Well, you know, I write the recaps or whatever every week. And this week in the comments, they're kind of arguing about that. And everyone's saying, well, Lisa, you know, Lisa's being passive aggressive. And, you know, she doesn't need people sticking up for her. And she's being ridiculous with Kyle.

She doesn't need the point. Isn't it? Lisa needs somebody to stick up for her. She wants Kyle is always sticking up for Adrianrian when she knows that adrian's been nothing but a c-word to lisa and has thrown her under the bus so many times and kyle's obviously being nice to adrian because she's rich like she doesn't have any real relationship with adrian and she's supposed to be lisa's friend it's like girl code you're supposed to not treat your friends like shit just because there's someone richer in the room jerks right and when lisa is like jumping in and defending herself when camille's attacking her of course lisa is not a

wallflower so she's going to defend herself all she wanted was kyle to back her up kyle didn't need to jump in first but she could have just been part of the chorus in the background going hey that's not cool and it's not that big of an ask on lisa's part i mean look this is something that she wanted from the reunion a year ago. Why hasn't Kyle gotten it through her head that all Lisa wants is just a teeny bit of support? And we've seen Lisa go to bat for Kyle. We saw it with Camille. We saw when and that was all Kyle's fucking fault, too, by the way.

Yeah. And then we saw later when she was hating Brandy and Brandy's first season. And Lisa was going to bat for her. So whatever. And on top of that, the entire season one, one of the major subplots was that Kyle was mad at Kim for not standing up for her during the whole Camille situation. Proving once again that Kyle is the biggest hypocrite in Housewives history. Exactly. Kyle will speak up when she wants to speak up.

She says she gets nervous, and she doesn't want to get in the middle, but you know what? She definitely likes getting in the middle, and she will definitely speak her mind. She doesn't care about... She doesn't give a shit about getting in the middle at all. Yeah, she hates confrontation so much

that she brings Faye uninvited to a tea party. Don't even get me started on that yet. She's supposed to be making out with people. Oh my god, it was like a character from Coraline walking in. At the end though, of the little like Kyle, Lisa makeup session. The weird thing was to me,

like I kind of felt like it was a little bit squashed, but then they went to the confessionals and both of the women are saying like, yes, things have changed. It's never going to be the same again. Like I don't, I really just don't know if they're ever going to get past it. Yes, the women have been photographed together out in L.A. recently, and I'm sure they're obviously still friends because they're castmates.

I get it. But do you think that they'll ever be besties? I don't. No, I don't think so. No way. No, but once someone fucks you over – I mean, it's like this, I'm sure, in everybody's life. Once somebody fucks you over, you can forgive them all you want, but you're never going to be telling them your deepest, darkest, and all that. Yeah, it takes a while to earn their back.

And Kyle's right about how Lisa is. Lisa is, you know, she's like, okay, I'll forgive you and I'll be nice to you, but I'm never going to trust your ass again. And she's right about that. Yeah. And she shouldn't. I mean, look what you did. Then you bring fucking Faye. Yeah, why would Lisa ever want to trust kyle

i mean kyle comes from a family of crazies look at kim look at kathy look at paris look at everyone who surrounds them why would lisa ever want that in her inner circle no it's true i mean their castmates they're not best friends i get it it's just um i think that they play along and they're gonna have tiffs for the rest of time but that that they will make nice when Bravo's paychecks are being written. You know who I would like Lisa to move on from Kyle and become best friends with Yolanda because— She already is. I think that they are actually real friends. But we don't see a lot of them together palling around.

Because Yolanda is always jetting off with David Foster to Barbra Streisand's chateaus. So now Yolanda had only like one brief scene at the beginning of the episode, and it was great. First of all, she sits there complaining. She's like, well, we don't have enough money for two or three horses, which most girls have two or three horses around here, but we only have one. I wish I had more

money for the horses. Shut up. Are you seriously complaining to Brandy, who's like the poorest person to ever be on a Housewives show Besides Sharae Oh And by the way David Foster is worth over 300 million Yeah he definitely has money for a few horses

But I guess maybe Yeah I was about to say she probably has like a horse budget You know I think it's very important To sell those lemons on the side of the Pacific Coast. I was going to say, she could have a really awesome stand. I know. I can just imagine her going out there with a backseat.

You have to learn English. If you want to sell your lemons, you have to go home and start your English. This way, see, look how easily I sell my lemons. I would buy an $8 cup of lemonade from her on the side of PCH. I would. I would definitely. I have to add, and I'm sorry I forgot to add this, but when we were talking

about Lisa, one thing about her being passive-aggressive and all that, I do think that Lisa's in the right. But someone did post a view clip, the view, on our Facebook page, and it's of Lisa on the view, and she's kind of passive-aggressive.

She's British. well, you know, Darlene, you know what I have to deal with on this show, you know? Look at these, look at Camille saying I don't own my restaurant. You know, did you see that? Oh, it's the latest thing I have to deal with. And did you see at the reunion when they all ganged up on me? I mean, that's something else that, and so

then I was like, okay, shut up, lady. All right. I've had enough of you. The Brits, the Brits love some good passive aggression. I mean, why do you think we all love Down Abbey? Because it's nothing but passive aggression. If you're British, that's how you deal with things. We all have mothers. Yeah.

But the other thing would be ask her at one point, can I ask you a question? Why is Faye Resnick on this show? And Lisa goes, who who and then everyone laughs and then she goes i don't know and then just like moved on like it was so beneath her she didn't even have time to even entertain the idea or theorize about it well let me ask you this do you guys think that um kyle invited faye or do you think that i mean she's also i mean she's also atrian's biggest cheerleader we saw that at kyle's previous dinner do you think that i mean she's also i mean she's also adrian's biggest cheerleader we saw that at kyle's previous dinner party where uh faye was going to bat for adrian there i'm wondering if adrian felt like she needed some henchwomen there with her for support

knowing that she was going to be there um sitting across the table from brandy they're really just becoming an awful clique of women the adrian and fay and kyle like when they walked into that tea party i like camille even though she's ben and i still love camille but like we don't like i don't i just don't like her defending adrian i just want her to be team lisa she's on that team because where do you think she's getting all this information from it's adrian she's getting it from adrian so she's sitting on the phone with those bitches too, talking about everybody else and then showing up and acting all innocent. I'm just so confused because Camille, I didn't think

was on that team, but she Camille's defending Adrian, but then Taylor seems to almost be defending Brandy and Taylor hated Brandy. So nothing really makes sense to me at this moment. But then again, Taylor is probably wasted. It all makes sense because last year camille was

suing uh she was the one who was mad because she was going to get sued for saying that taylor got beat right remember russell was going to sue her he sent her an email or something which by the way well and camille was totally justified in feeling that way last year she was yes yes she was but who stood up for her ad Adrienne. Adrienne was the one who basically kicked Taylor out of the party. So she's sticking with Adrienne no matter what because Lisa wasn't really sticking with her. And now

Lisa's friends with Taylor. Well, look, I give Camila a pass for that. I understand her motivation. She doesn't get a pass for anything. She's a stupid whore who lucked into some money by opening her legs to a drunk-ass rich man at a bar who her agent set her up with. Please. That woman won the pussy lottery.

Excuse me. She's a dancer. She's a dancer. And here's my other question. A dancer dances. Why is she not a full-time cast member this year? She has had way more screen time than Taylor, Kim, and Yolanda combined. She can't show her kids, and she doesn't want to show her private life

because her boyfriend is the brother of a serial killer, and she doesn't want that all over the TV. Well, Bravo must be paying her something, right? Yeah. She does not just show up for free. I think it probably wasn't decided until later in the season that she wasn't really a full housewife. I mean, it's like

they have, you know that they've got footage of Taylor that they've just never put in there. You know that they filmed her. Like she probably thinks that she's a star of the season and they just have – they've cut her out of the whole thing. Do you think they say to Camille like, hey, you show up at Lisa's brunch or tea party and we'll cut you a check for $7,500? Like how does this work? No, she probably has a contract where she earns a certain amount of money, but, like, it's that they're not going to follow her

alone around. They're not going to go into her life. They're not giving her a camera crew. She shows up at parties, or she might show up at a lunch with someone or whatever, but, like, it's, they're not following her specifically, and she probably gets a reduced rate. I'll just say this. The fact that, you know, Ronnie, I can understand that you're pissed off and that you hate her

I get it but at the same time I just want you to admit that she makes for better TV than Marissa or even at this point I would say Adrienne by far I have to say Marissa's just marinating, give her time

have you been reading Twitter? because Marissa is fighting with all of them on Twitter, and it's amazing. So do you think that she was just sitting back collecting notes the entire time so that she could then start spreading her venom? Well, that's the way that a new cast member should be. Remember Kelly Ben-Simon? She spent the first half of her first season

doing nothing. And I was like, why did they even cast this person? You want them to sort of settle in, and then all of a sudden snap and announce their presence i mean you know as opposed to like kenya moore who just was crazy right off the bat admittedly kenya moore has sort of saved this season of atlanta but she was like crazy right off the bat you almost feel like but that's a disease she's just trying to get like screen time at least with marissa i like the idea of someone coming in trying to be polite and they get pushed

their limit and then it goes they snap and they're crazy the rest of the time speaking of marissa how much more like abuse can her husband take where she's essentially going like yeah i've been fucking him since i was 16 and i'm tired of his dick yeah like that shit is getting awkward i want to clarify you guys it's not that i don't find him sexy i'm just bored of him and i want to have sex with somebody else you just made that a whole lot better as she says that in front of her um in front of lisa's like young vanderpump like std laden man no i i want to talk about taylor first oh wait wait wait wait we can't go there yet because we're not done with camille okay okay look i know that i still hate camille and you guys like her and you're gonna stick stick up for her. But come on. We actually love her.

We love her. We just like her. TV Time 101 at WordPress.com has collected all of her tweets from the past couple of days. Because, of course, people are hammering her ass on Twitter because she's a fucking hypocrite and a liar, you guys. Totally. It's called out. you guys. Totally. It's called out, and Adrienne is claiming that she never filed any kind of lawsuit,

which is bullshit, because she totally had her lawyer send a cease and desist letter, and everybody knows that it's true. Well, hello. That's why we got a to-be-continued, and you know that Brandi's gonna whip that shit out next week. She better. I hope she can drive to the Valley and back fast enough with those papers.

With all that rosé in her veins? I don't know about that. Don't give her rosé and a reason. This is what Camille, who, by the way, Camille, change your picture because you don't look like that. That is like your Playboy bunny picture from the 80s. I actually saw her at the RuPaul Drag Race

season premiere party at the Abbey three weeks ago and she looks really cute. I would like to see a nice close-up cross-eyed picture of Camille looking like she's about to shit herself. Okay? That's the real Camille. Gee. I mean, she did run to the bathroom.

So I think the IBS is always there. You know Lisa served cheese on purpose. So her tweet says, it's simple. If a lawsuit was filed, it would be in public court records. And Brandy wrote, she was threatening me with the lawsuit, as you know, because you all have the same lawyer. Please tell the truth. Okay, so then other people start hammering her.

No real lawyer can give info on a non-client who would be disbarred. I don't know if that's true Twitter, but had to be hard knowing Adrian lied to you and you stuck up for her, but we still good. Camille, there is no lawsuit against BG from AM. Hashtag truth. I really think BG

is confused. If there was a lawsuit, it would be public record. Negotiation is not public. Susan, it always begins with a cease and desist letter. Had to be hard knowing Adrian lied to you and you stuck up for her, but we still good. There is no loss.

She just keeps saying the same tweet. There is no loss. She's sticking to like a technicality. Sure, there may not be a lawsuit, but there is still a cease and desist or some sort of threatening of a lawsuit, which to me is just as bad. Yeah, something that forced Brandy to lawyer up. Yes, as Angela Depp says, Camille is using selective logic. She makes no sense. And that's so true.

She's going out of her way to argue when she knows the truth. She knows that there was a cease and desist letter. There was no lawsuit with Russell and Taylor. They just sent a cease and desist. It's like, again, they're threatening to sue someone. Exactly. And Adrian also said very clearly, Brandy said, you didn't have your lawyer send my lawyer a letter, and she said, no, absolutely not. That is absolutely not true. Okay, well, Ronnie, then if you're going to say that, then I can also say that Brandy is sitting around going, Adrian is suing me. If Adrian sent a cease and desist letter, then Brandy shouldn't fucking say I'm being sued.

Well, that's true. That's true, too. Yeah. Okay, snap. Snap, snap, snap. Boom, boom, boom. Here's the thing. They's true too, yeah. Okay, snap. Snap, snap, snap. Boom, boom, boom. Here's the thing. These are idiots. They're all lying whores. They're idiots and they're talking about the legal system and they have no right to do that. They can't talk about anything.

Right. They need Phaedra Parks in there to set them straight. I agree. Brandi's a white trash hoe. I mean, but that's why we like her. She's here stirring up shit. And the thing is, she will at least admit it if you confront her with that and say that she'll say okay well what i meant was the letter whatever but adrian is just saying flat

out no she's like i dare you to i dare you to prove me wrong bitch you're lying you're lying you're lying well maybe you don't maybe maybe adrian didn't send that letter maybe bernie sent it don't you tweet about Bernie. Shame on you. Shame. Well, there's another tweet in here where Camille says that there was a cease and desist sent to Brandy's friend named Geneva, whoever the hell that is. So supposedly that's Adrian's new story is that she didn't send it to Brandy. She sent it to one of Brandy's friends, which for some reason Brandy had to hire a lawyer to defend, which is so stupid. And also she's saying that

bernie's not sticking up for her and bernie's not her man well bernie just went off on another rant on on twitter a twit longer and it is long please tell me that nobody is following him does he have more followers than us i don't know i don't follow him someone else posted it bravo liberty uh reposted it it is just gross it's all caps. He doesn't know the difference between your and your. Of course. Well, he's a house servant. What do you expect? He is calling Brandy poor white trash and saying she's

not rich or classy enough to even be in Beverly Hills. Well, I'm sorry. That's Bernie. That's all true. Bernie, the mayor of Beverly Hills. Yes. That's the fucking house help of Beverly Hills. He probably makes more money than Brandy. Who counts spell or type? He's the O'Brien of this world.

You guys are forcing me to defend Bernie, and I hate him. Wait, why are you defending Bernie? You don't have to do that. He's calling her a drug addict. He calls her a drug addict, a meth head, a coke head. So far, I'm not seeing any inaccuracies. And by the way, when Brandy said these things about Kim Richards it was like Brandy how could you and now here's Brandy saying this

about this lady if we just said that they're all dumb hookers then we can also say that Kim was Brandy was correct in saying that something was wrong with Kim and Brandy is probably not off base by saying that Adrian or by saying that Brandy is maybe a drug addict alcoholic. Well, Brandy has admitted that she had issues with Xanax and stuff like that.

Who hasn't? Well, so anyway, what else has Bernie said? As Matt falls asleep. I would really love to be there when your children finally get to meet you and see who you really are, appreciating why their daddy left. Oh, that's a lobo. Yeah, he's disgusting. I mean, this is like three pages, probably, of just disgusting, hateful fucking queen. And, you know, he just needs to die.

And yet Adrian defends this guy. Of course, she probably has given him reasons. Don't you dare tweet about Bernie. He's out there fighting her battles. She's disgusting. Yeah, but Adrian is nicer to her chef than she is to her husband, her children, and her friends. That is fucked up. Now, wait.

Can we talk about Taylor for a second here? Oh, not for a second. For 45 seconds. So Taylor was the one who stirred this all up, which was hilarious. Okay, I have to say this about Taylor. I think absence kind of makes the heart grow fonder in this situation, because I lately,

when she shows up on screen, I get so happy. Because does that have anything to do with the fact that every time she's on screen, they show her guzzling wine, and then she fucking loses her mind? She's such a disaster. It's hilarious. She's more of a disaster than Kim, you guys.

She is. I mean, the way she can't even like her little passive aggressive comments are so like clunky. They're all, and not in addition to being clunky, everything she says is slurred. Everything. Everyone sues everyone

here. What? Did I say that? As a verified, bona fide Taylor hater, I have to say, last night was my favorite Taylor moment in years. I was dying. How great was that when Lisa was like, grab this saucer, grab this teacup, and I'm dragging them all the way from that table. I like how it's like the entire tea party, Lisa's like, chop, chop. I need someone to take this.

I need someone to take this. And she's like, let's take this inside. No, Lisa, you don't lift a finger at your party. We know this is an excuse. We're part of the centerpiece. We have to get out of here. Yeah, she's like, I'm getting more tea. And Kyle said, you don't need more tea.

There's already tea here. She's like, well, we're going anyway. And then she just schooled them. But I also love the look that taylor gave taylor cut the crap i love that now she's the sir lisa wherever she is she's just telling everybody to shut up and behave themselves and keep their dick in their pants i also i loved when uh when lisa was like telling lisa telling taylor that it's like you better behave this year and taylor just like shoots her this evil look like, fuck you. I had to bring security because I knew Taylor was coming.

Taylor's like, if I weren't so wasted I would punch you. How great is it that Lisa scolds her and then they walk back to the table and then the first thing Taylor does is she turns to Brandon and goes, so I heard you're being sued. The first thing out of her mouth as soon as Lisa's like, can you please shut the fuck up, you crazy monster.

And what does Adrian do? Deny, deny, deny. So I cannot wait. They don't show any coming next week clips of Brandon showing up with folders. But, man, I hope that she shows up with some proof at some point. Brandi's showing up with folders, but man, I hope that she shows up with some proof at some point. If she doesn't, next week she'll definitely have an attaché hidden behind a pillow at the reunion. Like some of these ladies love to whip out.

Why has she not posted this cease and desist on Twitter yet? That's what I want to know. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at the list on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic

success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.

And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.

In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for Black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. She doesn't want to get sued. Yeah. Well, anyway, we should probably start moving on to another show. But is there any last thoughts on Beverly Hills?

No. That it finally got amazing. Yes, it was really great last night. So then let's just scoot on down to Vanderpump Rules. Where to even begin? I don't even know. I was tweeting to you guys last night because I really thought that I was going to kill myself because it's so awful. And you're making me watch it.

Slash I love it. It's so awful and yet I'm so invested in this awful movie. We're making you watch it. You are the fuckers making me watch it. I don't want to watch that show. So my first pressing question is this. For those of us who are Amazing Race fans, I want to know what happened to Stassi's stepmom. For those of us who are Amazing Race fans, I want to know what happened to Stassi's stepmom because the whole thing was that she had a stepmom and now it looks like her dad and her mom are back together.

I guess no one's ever going to care about this. So I just want to put it out there that it made me curious. I have a feeling that when their daughter was cast on Vanderpump Rules, they decided to reconcile so they could both maybe get some screen time. Yeah, that seems to make sense. Because they are crazy people second of all so this frank character you know i was i was actually always on team frank a little bit here because i thought frank seemed like an all right guy jack seemed like a retard but then again i was like well but then he was going with stassi and stassi sucks now frank it turns out frank is just like a delusional fuck basically i'm a total douchebag he's a total typical LA douchebag

walking around talking about his commercial real estate. Exactly. By the way, ladies, any of you listening, I know Valentine's Day is coming up. So if anybody, if any man tries to woo you by saying that he's in commercial real estate, he is a shyster. Yeah, run away.

That guy's going to cost some people a lot of money very soon. And I like, he's like, he's like, oh, well, Lisa didn't fire me. I got myself fired. I wanted to be fired because I have my commercial real estate. It's like the burgeoning Donald Trump over here getting himself fired so he can build, I don't know, an outhouse. Every professional's dream to get fired from waiting tables or bartending he's cuter than jacks though right he is cuter and i'm glad oh well no he is jacks is not in his prime smile

oh he has a rat smile he does have sharp little like uh baby raccoon teeth and he could not by the way he could not have been more obnoxious when meeting stassi's parents like there was no like whoa ben what are you talking about stassi's parents. Like there was no like, Ben, what are you talking about? Stassi's parents are alcoholic drug addicts, psychopaths. I know, but still, you don't show up and criticize your girlfriend in front of their parents

and laugh about how you wanted to get fired. And like, it's like one of these things that like, it just shows what he would be like with anyone's parents. And basically talk about what a bitch your daughter is. Like who does that? Of course the parent, that's how the parents were, too.

They're like, yeah, what an asshole Stassi is. Huh? Yeah. Yeah, you should have seen her in high school. What an ugly bitch. She was. She had a tummy. I love that Stassi actually is... She used to lie on the floor and eat bread from the inside out. I'm sorry.

Stassi thinks that she is like a classy woman compared to somebody like skena sheena whatever from altadena or wherever she's from azusa azusa same thing actually azusa is way worse than altadena anyway so like i love that that stassi thinks that she's a high class bitch compared to shana and then you meet stassi's parents and all, like, the dad is carrying around a flask with a gun on it. And then on the other side of the flask, he has a picture of his daughter, like, rubber banded to it. And the first thing out of his mouth—or the first thing out of the mom's mouth is, yeah, we've been drinking all day. And the dad, the first thing out of his mouth is, you're not a Democrat, right? I know.

It's like, fresh from Fontana, it's the schroeder family i know my god they are such trash he looks sort of like a combination of john ritter and um john denver i think i actually think that he looks like john denver meets the um buffalo bill from silence of the lambs put some lotion on it honey and then the and then the mom looks sort of like Winona Judd meets one of the daughters from Just the Ten of Us. Oh, definitely. She looks like little orphan Annie, all grown and fat and straightened hair.

It's Jamie Lunar from Just the Ten of Us slash Melrose Place. Yes. Jem and the Holograms and Winona Judd. I love Jamie Lunar. She's amazing. She was also on Savannah On the WB

Oh I remember Savannah That shit was the best It was so good how did that get cancelled Let's bring it back starring the three of us as the three sisters Well I mean We have to just hope that we don't get beaten up By the cast of Vanderpump Rules Who've been auditioning and booking gigs

And trying on cowboy hats Oh my god what about Horseface's audition She should have been Evander from Brules who've been auditioning and booking gigs and trying on cowboy hats. What about Horseface's audition? She should have been auditioning I can't live like this anymore. Just because you're... Mama Elsa. That wasn't my Mama Elsa voice. That was my Horseface voice.

Because Mama Elsa says Mama Elsa and Horseface is more like Horseface. very close. So I finally realized that they had names. I'm auditioning. They were probably upset, though, because they lost out to that Clydesdale

for the Budweiser commercial at the Super Bowl. They're probably upset because Yolanda doesn't have enough money to buy them. She's like, I'm up for the McGruff the Crime Dog part. Let's go to SoulCycle, guys. Actually, you know what, though? Lisa was at that.

Lisa Timmons was at that cycle house. She was there. It's the one on La Cienega right north of Melrose. Right down from Lily's house. This is so fucked up. Yeah, her friend runs that spin class and was like, oh, Lisa, you should come to spin class. They're filming something for the new Sir Show. So Lisa went, but she wasn't on camera.

Okay, next time that happens, Lisa needs to put out the APB so that I can put on my spin shoes. I was actually supposed to go with her, and then I didn't for some reason. And I'm actually kind of glad. Have you guys ever spun? I went to spin class one time and I lasted six minutes. I think it's the worst thing in the world. No, it's not that bad. The worst thing is

the little seat hurts your butt. See, here's the thing. You know it's got to be a bad one because Horseface spent the entire scene patting her face down with a towel. And you know that she probably exercises every single day to keep looking more like a giraffe than a Clydesdale. It's hard to be the hottest. There's a lot of pressure to be the hottest, you know, looking more like a giraffe than a Clydesdale. It's hard to be the hottest.

There's a lot of pressure to be the hottest, sexiest, skinniest girl, sir. It's a lot of pressure, like, when you're booking gigs for Pollo Loco, print ads in the Penny Saver. Like, there's a lot of pressure to look good for that. Yeah, your actors' access profile pictures really have to look decent you guys um i'm doing i'm doing a spot for millions of milkshakes and it's just really

important for me to look good i'm doing i just booked a gig for california chicken cafe and like i just want to make sure i look because then next week i'm doing something for hot and juicy crawfish oh my god how does that store stay in business uh i'm uh hello i'm going there today for lunch it's mardi gras and they actually have a calendar i have it right here i have a calendar right here it's called the girls of hot and juicy crawfish wait is tonight tonight's the tonight's mardi gras tomorrow today they're doing penny beers at hot and juicy crawfish. Wait, is tonight Mardi Gras tomorrow? Today. They're doing penny beers at Hot and Juicy Crawfish.

They better be happy because I'm advertising them right now. You need to do an Instagram photo and then make people follow you on Instagram with Hot and Juicy Crawfish Girls. You know that horse face is going to be there with a lobster on her head. Are you kidding? They don't eat food. That's true. They graze. They have to go to

Yolanda's Grassy Knoll and graze out there because there's no other grass in L.A. You know what they do? They take kale and they put it in a white paper towel and they submerge it in hot water, take it out, and they squeeze it as hard as they can. And the kale juice that emerges from the paper towel is probably their lunch. Maybe half an hour. Did you guys notice that thing growing on Katie's chin? Yes. What was that?

Was it a herpy? Was it a zit? At first I thought it was a zit, but then I noticed it was in every shot of her. So I think it might actually just be some sort of thing that she has. I think it's stupidity trying to escape. I know. Like a little monster. Can't get out.

They're horrible. They're horrible girls. And I love that they're like, oh, I hate her. I hate her. Oh, I'm going to go talk to Stassi today. Those girls are truly actresses, though, because that Katie girl, she can turn on some fake tears like it's nobody's business. Yeah, but you know thatisten is a serious biatch because we saw her acting in the beginning of the episode and we know that she can't fake any

lines i will take that serious biatch over katie and stassi crying all over each other oh my god it's like you're like my sister and like i just did you think i didn't have your back like you're like my sister it was like a really bad version of the scene between heather graham and julianne moore and boogie nights like you're my mom oh you're my mom oh my god i love you and then and then um heather graham like dies of a cocaine overdose or somebody dies of a cocaine overdose and i wish it was both of them stassi preferably yeah well it was awesome watching frank tell us stassi and then dump her ass yeah i really did enjoy that. Yeah, that was pretty awesome. You're just gonna leave? I'm trying to talk to you. You're just gonna walk away? Um, excuse me, did

she just not walk out of her front door and leave him in her living room, and then she's gonna yell at him for walking away? Shut up, bitch. Go to shut up fucking mountain, bitch. I've been dumped twice this summer. This is really not good. No, no, no. Ben, that is not the quote she goes, I've been twice this, or I've been dumped twice this summer. What is God trying to do to kill me? I mean, this, no. Ben, that is not the quote she goes, I've been dumped twice this summer. What is God trying to do to kill me?

I mean, Stassi is the worst. She doesn't realize that God's not trying to kill her. God's trying to kill us by putting you on TV. If lightning struck her stupid head right now, a lot more people would believe in God. I'll tell you that. I know. We restore faith in so many things. And there's also, by the way, Jax and Laura Lee or whatever her name is. Having big sex in Takami.

So what I loved is that Lisa sits them down and is like, I heard through the grapevine that you do this and this. And so first they were like, no, never. And then Laura Lee's like, well, I mean, we had sex in Takami. Like, oh, never. And then Laura Lee's like, well, I mean, we had sex at Takami. Like, oh, okay. Maybe it was their security guard who called you and not yours.

No, we definitely did not have sex in the bathroom. I would know that. I lock the door. I lock the door when I do that. So if the door is locked in your bathroom, you're not having sex. But this time I wasn't. I'm the door. I lock the door when I do that. So if the door is locked in your bathroom, you know I'm having sex. But this time I wasn't. I'm not rude. She's crazy.

That girl is fucking crazy. She screams at Jackson. She's going something like, you may be trying to break up with me, but I will never be out of your life. I know. I say good for her. And good for him because that's what you get for dating a meth head. And also, I liked how... I liked how also her

proclamation about... They're having this dinner, and she's like, you know, I have to say... She's getting choked up. She's going to say something like, oh, you know what? You're someone... I've never had someone who really has been so supportive of me or really gets me, but she's like, I have to say say you are

the most attractive person i've ever been with and i it's like a dream good for you laura lee good for you poor thing and she of course is an idiot because she should know that with a dog like Jax, the moment you start saying those things is the moment he's going to be like, okay, peace out. Yeah. And my boner's gone. Yeah, these people are all pretty fucking disgusting. And I thank God that I'm not 20 years old and gorgeous anymore.

Can we move on to some class? Can you believe that shit? You think I'd still be poor if I was ever 20 and gorgeous? I'd be rich by now. Fuck this. Can we move on to some classier people, a.k.a. the Persians of Los Angeles? Yes, please. Oh, my God.

That is, like, so white of you to want to, like, talk about the Shazza sunset and collect sea glass. Like, that's so white. Like, Persians don't care about any of that. Who collects glass on the ocean? Only white people do that. That's ridiculous. Like, you know what Persian people do? They, like, walk along the beach and look for hookers to wash ashore.

That's what Persian people do. Persian people don't look for glass on the beach we look for gold coins at osisberry you know what like this is so persian i think we lost matt oh is matt back that's i'm here i'm here i see his face oh my god why that is like you like that that is like so white for like homegirl to like go away like that is whack like what you just did right now that's whack like that's like what my parents did from iran they escaped and didn't say anything just like you did like that is whack you know you know like white people love saying cunt slang but like it is so persian to use slang from 1998 like that's so whack to do that

oh god and not only does she say that's so whack she says it like 20 times like no you're dating you're dating jermaine what is his name jermaine jackson you're very different from jermaine dupree you're saying whack and you're wearing like five sizes too small for you aerobics outfit from 1983 from gadzooks. What the fuck is wrong with you? Someone needs to be done with her. What is Gadzooks?

Gadzooks is a skateboard shop from the 80s. It was in malls. It's where you went to buy your skater clothes. I feel like, did they have a mascot that was a dog with sunglasses and a baseball cap? Or is that just something from The Simpsons? I think that's Hot and Juicy Crawfish.

Yeah. So, like, I booked this really big gig. I'm going to be the girl talking to the dog with the sunglasses. Sorry, that was like half Reza, half Warspace voice. So, this episode, the big central theme of this episode was Asa getting ready for her Persian pop priestess, Persian Palooza. Okay, so I get that music is illegal in Iran, and now I see why.

Yeah. I mean, that should be illegal. And it should stay illegal, because those people cannot sing. I mean, even the famous one she brought on was terrible. Andy! Oh, he was terrible.

All I could think about was, I couldn't believe how, you know, all of America was sitting there watching the Grammys on Sunday night, watching these great collaborations. Little did they realize the genius that was happening on Bravo with Asa and Andy. What a collabo! They might be able to sing for

JT and Jay-Z on tour, I hear. Yes. For me, what I was amused at was how she's talking about this event like it's the second coming of Woodstock. They're in the freaking El Rey Theater. They get like a thousand people in there. And everyone in the line, by the way, was like 48 years old, except for a few weird Persian teenagers. This is not the exciting event. Would they have let us in? Ronnie, could you have gotten us in with your secret

powers? Yeah, with your Middle Eastern connections? Yeah, not Persian. So... That's a weekly alert about me not being Persian. What if I brought a bundle of parsley, a pomegranate, and some lavash bread? Do you think we could have gotten in then?

Oh my god. you think we could have gotten in then? Oh, my God. I think you could have scared the Dortman if you just showed up with a back waxing kit. Yeah, okay. Come in. Come in. Come in. Oh, gosh. What if I just wore something really form-fitting and shimmering?

Then I think I could have gotten in. Yeah. We were all taking a second to visualize that. Yeah. I was taking a minute to swallow back what was coming up there and then my head went to mj wearing that sparkly dress and the fact that she's getting uh some play with that dude with drizzy drizzy yeah um you know i think mj's mom had it right she's like why don't you wear something that is more flowing and doesn't have to stick to the body? No kidding. Your mom may be a bitch, but it doesn't mean she's wrong.

Yeah. Just because she has drag queen lipstick doesn't mean she has no fashion sense. Babe, you dress like a hoe. You're a drunk. You don't ever go to work. I mean, your mom kind of has a point. Why don't you shut the fuck up and listen to your mom for once? Yeah.

The mom just wants her to snag a man, you know, that's legit before the mom dies. I mean, that's all she wants. Has the mom met Drizzy? I like the mom. Yeah, I like the mom too. Do we think the mom's met Drizzy yet? Oh, no.

No way. Who is this man? Who is this man that you bring here? Why do you date this man? Why don't you get a good man? I love that she gets sidetracked and she goes, oh, let's go to lunch. No, actually, my favorite thing was watching Parallel Park. You park so far away from the curb.

What are you trying to do? Make me break my ankles? Why don't you move forward? Why do you do it? Everything you say is perfect. Why do you say that? It's the same accent that I do for Lenny's mom from Real Housewives of Miami, just so you know.

Very small repertoire. You're so international. I know. Speaking of, Ronnie, did you get that international male catalog yet? You know what? Come to think of it, I have not, and I'm kind of upset about it, although I do live in the gayest building in West Hollywood, so that shit might have been snagged off my front

stoop. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised.est building in West Hollywood, so that shit might have been snagged off my front stoop. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't be surprised. And also, mail people, you know how the mail, the post office is closing for yet another day because they can't seem to keep their shit together? Yeah. You know why? Because they're fucking terrible. They are so stupid.

I get, like, five of my neighbor's mail here. I don't know where the hell my mail's even going i think we need to just open like a weekly collective where we talk about what we got in the mail and see who has each other's shit stupid post office okay that's enough of that they need to make a show about the post office so we can complain about that for an hour they probably will they probably will probably be like i don't know Oh, there will definitely be a West Hollywood post office. The po-hos. Yeah, it's going to be like, post office 90069. Oh, girl.

The West Hollywood post office? You don't even want to mess around in there. I've seen some drag queens fighting with some big black post office ladies, and it got ugly. And you know what? That would make for fucking great TV. It would be. It'd be like, at this post office, the drama is signed, sealed, and delivered. See? We're already writing it right now. It would be. It'd be like, at this post office, the drama is signed, sealed, and delivered. See? We're already writing it right now.

Hilarious. You see some postal worker that has crazy plastic surgery drinking champagne. That's how it would be done in Bravo. It'd be like Taylor Armstrong working at the post office. This season, Taylor Armstrong's gone postal.

Hey, Kennedy was just in one of those cards did someone roll that away kennedy kennedy i love that next week she loses kent she forgets where kennedy is before she runs off with her new boyfriend who's married with three children the look of horror on kyle and kim's faces is amazing when they're like okay we may be assholes and we may be alcoholics, but this woman doesn't even know where her child is. Her five-year-old child. Okay, so

Shaza Sunset. So MJ goes to have a peaceful day with her mother and decides that she's going to do some hot guy a favor and be his girlfriend, which I don't know where MJ gets her line of thinking, but I kind of like it. I kind of like her delusion.

And then Mike asks for his parents' approval in their shiny gold living room. Oh, my God. It looks like a mini Versailles in there. You know what? I like his parents, and I liked what his dad said. I thought they were very nice. And I like when you can Windex your furniture. My Siti, my Lebanese grandmother, used to cover the furniture in plastic like that, You know what? I like his parents, and I liked what his dad said. I thought they were very nice. And I like when you can Windex your furniture.

My Siti, my Lebanese grandmother, used to cover the furniture in plastic like that, and she would Windex that shit, and it was fine. Yeah. I like when everything looks like it's made from recycled plates from an Indian restaurant. Mm-hmm. Well, I love that the mother gave her approval. As long as you're happy, Mike. And then the father's like, no, I love that the mother gave her approval. As long as you're happy, Mike. And then the father's like, no, I don't agree.

And he's basically saying. This week on the racist podcast. This week on Ronnie's racist corner. We're adding that. That's a new segment. Mark it down. That's actually a pretty language i should have meant that uh it'll be called racist queen on a podcast so she uh the dad is all upset because she doesn't know english and he can't speak his heart and i'm thinking how long have you fucking been here why

don't you learn english and stop blaming americans for not being able to understand your heart honestly what what are you gonna what do you what do you have to say anyway at this point? You've said it all. No kidding. Shave your ears. Yeah. And then let's see, Lily. So Lily, I like had to break up with Ali

because he was being like really mean to me. He wasn't like cookie flutter, nutter, butter, fluffer, fluffer. He was like, the trust was gone. And when the trust is gone, like, you cannot get it back at all. I'm just going to say right now. He cheated on me, like, five years ago.

And I still can't trust him. I can't. This pomegranate's really tasty. It's made me feel a lot better also. Ben, Ben, this may be your best impression. This might even be better than Candy. Better than Thomas Kramer? Yeah, Lily's really good.

Better than my Thomas Kramer, guys? It's up there with your Thomas Kramer. I'm just saying Lily is now officially— See, guys, be quiet! This is my day at party! I will tell my Thomas Kramer if I want to! I'm just saying that Lily is officially part of your repertoire now. So I've got Reza, Lily, and Thomas Kramer.

Okay, I'm slowly growing. And Candy, I'm working on. Love it. Candy's like, I'm going to do some gospel. I'm going to do some gospel and praise Riley. That's terrible. Riley, why don't we go and it's time to pray. I'm going to get this one.

It's time to pray that we sell a lot of dildos today Riley Riley Shots of Sunset what do we think about Lily trying to be BFF with Asa now I think that they're totally opposite but we like get each other

like I love Asa like I think Asa and I shouldn't be friends but we're, like, so friends. And also, Asa's the only one who doesn't get shit-faced whenever they go out. And I think Lily feels comfortable. I mean, Lily really is a stick in the mud. She's fun to watch because she's such an idiot, but she's...

She doesn't have sex and she doesn't drink. Boring. Yeah, she doesn't really fit in. I mean, this show's supposed to be about crazy Pursies. Yeah. I don't know. I like Lily, though. I actually think I like Lily the most, to be honest.

No, I love her, too. What do we think about Reza and the boyfriend? I feel bad for the boyfriend. Why does the boyfriend want to hit that? I don't know. The boyfriend seems prissy, and I think the boyfriend can do a lot better. I mean, I understand why he's prissy, because he's dealing with Reza. I don't know. The boyfriend seems prissy, and I think the boyfriend can do a lot better. I mean, I understand why he's prissy, because he's dealing with Reza. I don't know. Why can't I ever find a guy with a sweat, fatty, gross Middle Eastern fetish?

What the hell? I think that the boyfriend is clearly a gold digger, and he wants Reza for his money, and therefore he puts up with all of Reza's nastiness. Yeah, when he was shoving that, like, cupcake in Reza's mustache, it was just like, there was just all this frosting just stuck in the bristles. I was like, that stuff's not coming out for three more weeks, you know? I think that that's a sign.

He'll be happy about it. I think that the boyfriend is a perfect example of how insecure gay people are. It's like, okay, here's a guy who won't stay true to me. He's obviously cheating on me, openly cheating on me. He won't commit to me after dating for years.

Haven't they been together for a long time? I think a year. A year? Wow. So, after a year, he still won't commit to me, and I'm going to just sit around and be desperate for this fucking guy. Wake up, homosexuals. You don't need to put up with

disgusting rezzas you're better off alone with your ally mcbeal dvds and listening to our podcast home alone with a lean cuisine and a bottle of rose do not waste your time with these fat nasty pieces of trash please tell me that there are guys who like don't cheat on you all the time and actually want a relationship, right? Excuse me. Why do you think I'm still single? I can't handle all of this. Like, I feel like everybody only wants to be a hoe.

Nobody will commit. Are you kidding? Okay, everybody on OkCupid's a hoe, and nobody will commit. No one will commit. No one will commit. There's something new and flashy and shiny that comes on by. And you know gays with something new and flashy and shiny, they're distractions and they can't stay focused. And you know how

Persians love the flashy and shiny gold. They don't like glass, but they like gold and shiny. Someone's like, did you see that furniture set at Mike's parents' house? I want to date it. So I'm sorry. Oh my god, that's so Persian. That's like so Persian to want to like stand around and like go sit in a gold chair.

Homegirl, you can't be faithful to one person. It just makes me crazy. So gross. He should feel lucky to have a cute guy who likes him. I just think the thought of having sex with Reza is just the most terrifying thing I could think of.

I can't imagine the noises he would make. He'd be like a hippopotamus in heat or something. Sorry, Reza. That mustache. That mustache. The hair product alone. All of it. All of it.

All of it. You think that's the only place where he has a mustache? I mean, come on. Oh, I don't even want to think about that. Oh, man. That's how we do it in Persia. We like to get hairy all over. It's like so Persian to keep yourself hairy and not to groom yourself.

On Valentine's Day, we call it trimming the bushes. It's a family activity. Okay, I'm about to vom. This is the worst Mardi Gras of all time. Wait, so do we have any other thoughts before we move on to Atlanta? Golden Nessa. Oh, yeah. um oh poor gg's all alone and that's all we have to say about it she has a gay boyfriend in texas so i am just excited that um at the end of the episode they were like and next week on reunion part. Which means we get multiple episodes! I'm excited. I'm excited for that.

Oh, and that's one. And now we know why MJ is not speaking to anybody. Because they all beat her up. Yeah, they all think she's on pills. Yeah, they all accuse her of being a drug addict on national TV, which obviously she is. But still, I mean, I'm not

going to go on TV and say Matt's a drug addict. I TV, which obviously she is. But still, I'm not going to go on TV and say Matt's a drug addict. I'm like Matt. We're friends. I'm on Vicodin and Cipro as we speak. Ronnie's like, I will only say that on Twitter. Don't you dare tweet about Bernie. Shame on you. Shame on you.

All right. This is a real boring episode. This is a real boring episode. This is a real boring episode. Do you guys still love Portia? Because, Jesus, she's boring. I do. She's hilarious. I really wish that I had started recording all of these

episodes onto my computer so that I could cut out the stupidity that is Portia's English. I mean, that needs to be somewhere. Did she say something dumb this week that didn't make any sense? Oh, my God. She was perturbed. That was one of her things. She had, like, three

or four of them, and I was too not present. I was too MJ'd out to write them down. This woman, Portia, she makes Cynthia Bailey look smart. That is a serious problem. I know. Cynthia Bailey doesn't even have to put on her smart glasses to look smart when she's with Portia, she makes Cynthia Bailey look smart. That is a serious problem. I know. Cynthia Bailey doesn't even have to put on her smart glasses to look

smart when she's with Portia. Cynthia Bailey, when she puts on those fake smart glasses and a fedora, I just want to punch her. But to be fair, though, Cynthia does have some, like, bitchy queens working under her at her agency. Oh, what assholes. What ass. They basically act like they are

Wilhelmina, and, you know, they sit there in the window just, I think, trying to make it look like from the outside there is anyone in this stupid agency. The only person that should ever be sitting in a window is Pearl from 227, you bitches. Yeah. Get it straight. Calvin! Calvin! Hi, Mary. There's three queens in here.

Let's marry, you girl. Lester. I love 227 I love 227 Yeah so basically Honestly like nothing happened This episode like Nini had bad reception In the Hollywood Hills Which is so true

I mean Ben We live at the foothills Of the Hollywood Hills And I will say My Verizon sucks here My Verizon works But that's because I'm not as high up as you.

Oh, what, what? And then also... I enjoyed the scene of Portia and her husband. Well, Cynthia tried to make me feel bad, and I don't appreciate that, and she tried to tell me... You better check it. You hear me?

You better check that. You better check it, don't wreck it. Check it. And allocate it. Oh my god. We need to talk about that scene. I want it to be more like a river and less like a lake. You got it? You guys keep talking.

I have someone calling me on my landline. Can you hear that? Podcast. Bring them on in. Oh my god. Did you not get the impression that that is a fucked up relationship that they have? He was kind of scaring me. Yeah.

He suddenly became a typical real housewife's husband when he showed his misogynistic side. I mean, it totally came out. That was hilarious. Because he doesn't know English. So, like, between him and Portia, I'm surprised they don't just brunt at each

other. They're both such fucking idiots. But I love watching him. Now, listen here. I don't like seeing you two fight like that. That's ridiculous the way you talk like that. You two need to stop talking like that. Get together, you two. I want you to be like clouds. And I want you to be less like hills. You two need to stop talking like, get together, you two. I want you to be like clouds.

And I want you to be less like hills. You understand what I'm saying? Happy, wait, wait, wait. Happy Black History Month to you, Ronnie. Yeah, happy Black History Month. You guys, but is that an exaggeration? No, that's exactly what went down. That is exactly what went down.

My favorite part of the episode was actually not even that funny. I just liked watching Candy singing, doing her gospel thing. I mean, what a hypocritical idea for an album. You just released a line of anal beads and dildos. And I love that she doesn't even get it she's like well hey hey hey everybody think you're gonna be crazy because i'm candy and i'm making a gospel album now why you want to do that i see i'm candy burst and i want to make a gospel album but i gotta make a little different for riley riley Riley. Two seasons ago, she was making

a dance record with Kim. Last season, she's hanging out with Jodie Messina trying to make a country record. Now she's making a gospel record. What will she be making next season? EDM. EDM. It's going to be her and David Guetta. EDM, her and David Guetta. Calvin Harris. Swedish House Mafia.

You know, I feel like she can do a good gospel album, so I'm seeing Candy in this. She flies above all the haters. She certainly does. And that plane she bought with cash. Candy, how'd you buy that? Will that be cash or credit, man? Cash! I'm giving my baby cash!

Cash! She bought it for Raleigh. Raleigh. What else happened in this one? Portia got fired. I mean, if you're getting fired by dumbass Cynthia, that's pretty sad. Yeah, that's pretty much the low point in your career if Cynthia has to relieve you of some duties. Kenya.

Oh, the best part for me was Kenya's bullshit cancer scare. Give me a break woman and who pointed out that her doctor was the same doctor who's going to be on this medical wives show or whatever is she backdoor pilot backdoor someone someone said that she was so i think that whole thing was bullshit i was like that i've never seen a doctor with such bad hair and if that was a real doctor she would would have said, I tested you, Kenya. You are cancer. You are a cancer on this world. I just love that the doctor was so cruel because the doctor was like, well, we have the results of the biopsy back.

And what we found out is that when we looked at the right breast, we found something. And what that thing was was something that I'm gonna tell you about in about 10 seconds hold on a little bit longer what we found was not cancer a Cadillac car in your right breast

congratulations you know it's keyless right just walk near it and the doors will unlock I did think it was kind of gross to see like the pus and blood dripping out onto that gauzy pad did we need to see that that was from like some dying kitty i don't even believe any of that was real kenya's full of shit that was a bunch of bull shit that's what that's what's inside of kenya's body you know just a lot of dead, that was... That's what her butt is made of, dead kitty. Aww. That was a lot of that stuff that they pack boxes with.

You know, that little packet of silica? It's just Kenya's square tits are packed with that, and that's what they were taking out of there. I don't buy it, Kenya. I don't buy you or your fake-ass cancer story. I don't know. I don't think anything else happened on thisass cancer story. I don't know. I don't think anything else happened on this episode. I think there was literally nothing.

Phaedra, did Phaedra do something? Phaedra went over to Candy's place, I think, and then they made some food, right? I think that was... Yeah, it was this week, and the first thing Candy says to Phaedra is, would you like some sweet tea or some Kool-Aid? Oh, yeah.

Candy was like, it was like the ins and outs of how to make Lipton iced tea from powder. She's like, ooh, I'll put in a little bit of extra because that's the way Riley likes it. You don't put in more. Let me ask you this. You don't just Riley like it with a lot of extra powder in it? How does Mama Joyce like it? Stop that! I did not like that tea start with a big old penis like that, Candy!

That was disrespectful! That was wrong! I'm leaving, Candy! I live for Mama Joyce. She's still not over that big old dick swinging in her face oh okay so we're done with that one um so now what we have is top chef top okay how long are we gonna drag out fucking top chef okay we've got this week which is normally isn't this normally the finale or i guess they do go down.

They're going to bring back one or two people from Last Chance Kitchen, right? Who won Last Chance Kitchen? Kristen beat Stefan in Last Chance Kitchen, so she's coming back. I don't like this Last Chance Kitchen. She also beat the girl. What was her name? I don't know Lizzie. Lizzie.

I was really sad because I liked Lizzie and it sounded like when Tom was tasting the food that he actually liked Lizzie. So I was sad because I feel like they're just like, okay, Kristen, this is yours. And I know that they're not going to give it to whoever gets kicked off this week. Wait, who has to

go up against? So, Last Chance Kitchen, I believe, is done now. One more round, I believe, is done now. One more round, I think he said. They're bringing back someone else, too. She beat Lizzie, so Lizzie's done. And by the way, I loved Lizzie and the whole dead dad and the whole he was a fisherman story.

I loved that kid. He was a fisherman. He was a fisherman. I can't do her accent. It was so weird. I loved her. I loved her, and I loved that story. I don't know. I can't do her accent. It was so weird. I loved her. I loved her and I loved that story and I don't know. I think

Last Chance Kitchen is bullshit and Josh and his goddamn bacon and stupid fucking mustache need to leave. I agree. The bacon is ridiculous. It's just gross at this point. But I have a question though. So Last Chance Kitchen, so someone's coming back from that but they've been also talking that there's

someone else that the viewers vote on that gets to save. This is ridiculous. If you get voted out of the show, you should not be able to get back in. That is the end of the show. No, I like Last Chance Kitchen. I think Last Chance Kitchen— I like—OK, but Ben, why do they get to come back immediately to the finale? That's stupid.

Yeah, I agree. They shouldn't be able to come back. Well, but then again, it is— It's too late in the season. That's stupid. Yeah, I agree. They shouldn't be able to come back. It's too late in the season.

Well, it makes sense, though, if you think about it, because if someone is eliminated far in the past and they are able to get that far down, beat all those people one-on-one, they sort of do kind of deserve a spot in the finale because that's a really hard thing to do. Or if you make it that far, but then someone later in the season gets um and then beats you in the last chance kitchen okay why don't you slip in slip into brooks um chef clogs for a second and just realize that she should be winning this entire season because she can take out that mustachioed bacon fucker yeah and they're gonna bring kristin back at the last second she's gonna swoop in and steal the fucking win. But she already was eliminated. Yeah. I mean, I just don't like Kristen, but I think it's fucked up. I thought that she's going to come back and take the win, and that's where it's going.

And it might be, but I think as it goes on, it might be hard for the judges to give it to her like that. They might stick with somebody who's been on like Brooke, you know. And I do agree that brooke has a chance to take it but of course i thought it was going to be an old woman finale and it's so not so shows you how much i know they definitely want to have another woman when i get it i mean there's only been one stephanie i want to say so i mean you know i'm not brooke's biggest fan by any means and i do miss lizzie but i just and i like like Kristen too, but I just feel like Brooke deserves it more than Kristen. Yeah, Brooke is good.

I think Brooke is good. And if you want, maybe we should go down to one of her restaurants. I mean she's in this area. Let's do it. Yeah, I've been to – she has two places, one called the Hudson House and one called the Triple. And I've been to the Triple twice, and it's delicious. It's truly delicious. So if you guys want to place on ventura called

black market and one of the girls from top chef runs that place and it's delicious oh yeah which one does black market i forget i don't know but i know that is it antonia i don't know i love antonia jamie gets fired from every place that she's ever worked i know yeah i actually liked her last restaurant closed no no she bought billudeville Closed. No, no. Vaudeville Closed. She drove Beachwood into it, and she was also at Beachwood, which she drove into the ground.

But then she was at Wolf's Lair, which I actually liked. But you know what, though? I don't blame that one failing on her. I blame it on the Shazza Sunset because they shot a scene there, and as we all know, every place that they go to closes down a few weeks later.

Shut it down. So I blame Gigi and Omid for closing down Wolf's Layer, which I really like. Wolf Slayer was really, really good. So I'm really bummed about that. Well, the food at Broadville was actually pretty good. But she did weird things. She served these weird sliders that were good.

They weren't burger sliders. They were some other, like, crab cake sliders that were really good. But she served them on, like, little dinner rolls from Ralph's. It's like, oh, come on now. Make an effort. But anyway, for this season, I really like the chefs that they have left for the most part, except the mustache guy.

But even him, I don't hate him. I don't hate him either. He's been doing well enough that I've moved from hating him to just disliking him. Yeah, I'm just sick of it. I just don't like when people identify themselves by one quality, like, oh, I'm gay, or oh, I'm Persian,

or oh, I like bacon. Yeah, or like, oh, I don't know how to cook this, I only know how to cook bacon because I'm from Oklahoma. Like, you know, be a little bit, like that to me is not a top chef quality. Yeah, agreed. So, let's make bets. Who do you think is going to be the most popular chef to come back?

I don't know. For a while there, I thought it was going to be the Japanese girl, but now she's no longer in the running. It's like CJ versus someone else. CJ, which is fucking disgusting. Unless CJ comes back and Kristen whoops his ass again, which I would love. I would like CJ to never come back. He's horrible. He is.

So are we done with that? I think we're done. I'm going to say Brooke. I'm going to say Brooke, too, and I hope it's Brooke. I hope it's Brooke, but I'm going to say Kristen. But I think we don't find out for three more weeks anyway. Oh, no way. At least three more weeks.

Because when they went to Alaska, I sort of thought they were beginning the finale, but actually it seems like this is like the pre-finale. That was the appetizer. That was the appetizer to the main course. But I have to say, I've never actually had any interest in going to Alaska. But these episodes in Alaska have actually made me really want to go up there. Virgin America just sent me an email today. We can go to Anchorage from LAX to Anchorage.

Let's do it. Why don't we reach out to someone in for uh on from lax to anchorage let's do it why don't we like uh reach out to uh someone in alaska like someone who has power and say uh we'll do our podcast from alaska if you fly us up there i'm in and by the way anybody who's listening if you want to fly us the three of us are will you can book us yeah we will podcast from your deck, your living room, your restaurant, your hot tub, your restaurant, whatever. We're available. You have to just pay for us. You have to fly

us everywhere. We don't want to spend a dime if you're going to do this. That would be awesome if we had that listener who's like, okay, boys. We must have one sugar daddy listening that's like, hey, I want to bring three gay dudes to my... Yeah, is there I want to bring three gay dudes to Miami. Is there anyone in Miami, maybe?

Ooh, Miami. I've never been. Neither have I. Leah. Leah. We should hit up Leah. She's a gay dude that loves us. We'll be like, Leah, listen.

Surely you don't mind paying for three round-trip tickets from L.A. to Miami, right? A drop in the bucket, honey. I agree. Yeah, we'll protect you from your Leah Black Gallipol scandal. Yeah. I say... Why don't we crash the Black Ball this year? Let's just do it.

Let's just go. I'm not pulling a Christie at that thing. Look what happened to her. She was run out of town. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to go to the Black Ball. I just want to go to... I think she's living in Alaska right now.

You want someone to fly you out there? Call Christie. Yeah. Why don't we go to... Can we go to Persia Pal She's living in Alaska right now. You want someone to fly you out there? Call Christy. Yeah. Why don't we go to... Can we go to Persia Palooza this year? Yes, please. I did some Google searches and I couldn't find it anywhere. Oh, so they're not inviting Asa back.

I don't know. Asa may have killed it. I think Asa made Persia Palooza, didn't she? I feel like... Didn't she, like, invent Persia Palooza? Is that a real thing? Maybe she made her mom go to work while she does nothing and then her parents are poor, but she made her mom spend all of her last dimes on starting Persepolis. Yeah, I think that she produced that because she had that big trailer.

I mean, she wasn't given the hat. Come on now. I think that's pretty much after all. She bought a Star Wagon. Yes. She's like the Star Tours bus. I think that's after all. She totally rigged that.

That was her production, wasn't it? I don't know. I really think so. I think it's fair to say that after Asa performed, everyone was like, you know what? I think they have the right idea, Neuron. I think we should just stop with our music. Yeah, let's just go back to playing Scrabble

and making good bread for each other and burnt rice. Come on, guys. All right, well, I think we're done, eh? I think we've been gone for a while. I think Ben needs some hot and juicy crawfish. I need to go get a CT scan. What are you going to be up to for the rest of the day, Ronnie? I'm going to be working on my Beverly

Hills re-dib. All right. Well, thank you all for listening. Definitely leave us a comment on iTunes. You know I live for them. and then you can also follow us on facebook uh backslash watch what crap happens you can follow ben on twitter at b-side blog you can follow ronnie at tvgasm you can follow me matt at life on the m list and you should also start following us on instagram god damn it yeah yeah and also uh

come to our facebook page because i'm posting my Real Housewives recaps and my redubs there. So come on over, guys. Yeah. All right. Bye, everyone. Bye, everybody. Bye, guys. Bye, guys.

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