Watch What Crappens - #62: Horse Tragedies, Wagon Jumping, and Vanderpumping

Episode Date: February 27, 2013

Horse Tragedies, Wagon Jumping, and Vanderpumping See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, I'm a horse I'm trying to make things faster, so I'm only using half words. Oh, okay. I'm happy to be here. That was half of here. And Mr. Ben Mandelker of bsideblog.com. Hello, Benji.

Hail. That was my half of hello. I also don't like him being called Benji. That's gross. It was half. No, I don't mind being called Benji. You know what I don't like? It's when people call me Benny. Because it makes me sound like I'm some person from Yonkers. Yeah, Benny's

like an old cab driver who's like, Hey, Benny! Hey, Benny! What's going on, Benny? But you do root for the Jets. You do root for the Jets. Benny and the Jets. That is actually very true. I will accept it in that context. Yeah, Benny's not good. Benji was the cutest dog ever, so you can't

complain about being called Benji. I wasn't complaining. Matt was complaining. I was complaining on his behalf. He was my proxy complainer. But you don't mind when I call you Matty, right? No, like all of the girls at college called me that, and I consider you one of my college girlfriends, so why not?

Wait, so Matt, what nickname would you not want? Anything is fine by me, I think. I also enjoy inappropriate nicknames as well. Does anyone ever call you Cowface? That's really kind of you.

Cafface? What? Don't start. Cafface Whitfield! that is better than fat face when we call it cat face it is better to just call it cow face oh my god did anyone ever call you just few like the second half of Matthew

no don't give Ronnie any ideas that makes more sense today because it's the day of half words you see how much time we've saved so that we can talk about this bullshit, you guys? Oh, it's great. We've already spent two minutes talking about nothing about Bravo except break a face

and reduced truncated words. Yeah, well, we were short a couple of shows this week because Real Housewives of Atlanta decided to take a break, and so did the Shaws, because for some reason they think that that's their audience like bravo you play these shows 10 times a fucking day we're gonna catch it okay

right they don't want to compete with the oscars but guess what the oscars is on for four hours and you could rerun it all night long because i needed shah's reunion part two and it was not there for me i was absent last week during the shah's discussion and i'm so upset that i missed it and i can't believe i have to wait another week to discuss it because that that's like so persian of you to arrive a week late for the discussion about the shah's reunion like homegirl's gotta be on time like you gotta you have a limo waiting for you homegirl did i tell you i saw him at target in the elevator i told told you guys on Facebook, but I haven't told you in real life. Okay, so you did mention it.

Another good reason to go back. You mentioned it on Facebook, and you need to explain more here. But you, first of all, everybody that's listening, you need to follow the party on Facebook. We are at – well, wait. Let's talk about Facebook first. We are Facebook.com backslash Watch What Crappens. We are on Twitter at whatcrappens. You can find me, Matt, on Twitter at lifeonthemlist.

You can find Ben at bsideblog. And you can find Ronnie at tvgasm. But Ronnie, please tell us everything. And did you really scare Reza and Target? Go. Yes. Well, I saw this guy who looked like Reza. And he was wearing his sunglasses.

And I was like, well, who else could that be but Reza? Like, who else looks like him except, like, million other versions in west hollywood yeah um but we got in the elevator and there was this other guy in there and he was like hey you on that tv show and reza was like wait wait wait which target were you at because that does not sound like the west hollywood target it was oh my god are you kidding west hollywood target is like the armpit of west hollywood yeah reza is sniffing it right now yeah it's where all class goes to die and all trannies go to get cashier positions but anyway he was like hey you on that tv show and reza was like yeah he's like oh well you know

i've watched that i've watched that before i've seen it sometimes but but I don't know. You know, you good on it, though. And he was like, thanks. And I said, that's a person. That's a person of you to say that. And he was like, uh-huh. I think the whole elevator experience just scared the crap out of me. I think if anything is going to get that fat bastard to take the stairs, it's me and ghetto ass in the elevator. I would have killed for a Vine video of that. Like a six second Vine video.

If I had known that that was going to happen, I would have had my shit ready. But now I'm on an Android phone and getting a video to record takes, it's like a five minute process. And are people using Vine? I have it, but I have yet to actually like make a little six second video. It's all the rage, kiddies. It's all the rage. Vine, what is that? It's six second videos that's associated with Twitter.

And they're actually kind of fun, and they're really easy to slap together. And then you can easily do GIFs out of them. It's fun times, people. The fact that I'm telling you guys about something technological is ridiculous. Well, you know, it's funny because I'm on Vine at B-Side Blog. So everyone come. Well, you know, it's funny because I'm on Vine at B-Side Blog. So everyone come and if people come and subscribe to my Vine, I will make a little movie in honor of this podcast and put it on Vine.

P.S. You did put like on our Facebook page links to your guys' Twitter and my Instagram and my Instagram followers have shot through the roof. Really? You might have not shot through the roof. So thanks thanks everyone. Well, by shot through the roof, I mean I maybe have 15 more, but it's really weird because I put my private life on there, and I think that you maybe should revert back to my Twitter. Well, if you'd like your Twitter to be on there instead, we can

arrange that for you. I have no private life. If I had Instagram, you'd see cornbread that I made. Yeah, and people who looked at my Instagram see pictures of me eating hot and juicy crawfish, which I was telling Ronnie about before the podcast. It was amazing. I don't know if anyone

listened to the podcast a few weeks ago when I said I was about to go. Well, I went, and hot and juicy crawfish, damn, Gina, that shit is good. All right, let's stop plugging shit, because they don't need us, and they're not paying us. Well, and they're not paying us. Let's talk about gossip. Can we talk about gossip? Can I got a i've got a piece that actually goes right from ronnie's because it's the same sort of same sort of world then we'll go into real gossip

uh which is that ronnie may have seen reza but just yesterday yesterday i saw three bravo liberties uh right in the neighborhood um once again i saw saw Katie at the gym from Vanderpump Rules and her boyfriend Tom Sandoval. And I also saw a tall CJ from Top Chef. Ew! You mean one ball CJ? Yeah, one. Yeah. It looked like a grandfather clock.

Did you give him a dirty look? No, because I guess he's – it looks like he's in the kitchen at Tiago, the little coffee shop on Hollywood and La Brea. And I didn't want to give him a dirty look if I was actually a patron. Excuse me. He works at a coffee shop on Hollywood and La Brea? That's sad. I think what I read at Eater LA is that he is consulting on their little menu because they have a restaurant component, a small restaurant component.

So he looked like he was having a meeting and then he went into the back and was talking or whatever. And I was just like, ugh, CJ's going to ruin this coffee shop. Oh my God. I would have gone in just to wait for them to fire him. That's the best part of CJ's. That's the best part of Top Chef this year

is watching CJ get kicked off like three times. That was amazing. He does keep coming back. He's like a cockroach, a very large cockroach. Yeah, but he just keeps getting stomped on and stomped on and stomped on. But getting back to Katie, by the way, so Katie, as we all know,

is one of the horse faces from Vanderpump Rules. The fact that you're even giving her a name beyond Horse 1 or Horse 2 is very upsetting. She's Horse 2. Well, she gets a name this week because we have a slightly sympathetic, slightly funny story, which is that someone wrote us.

Slightly funny, you're terrible. Wait, are we supposed to talk about this? Are we allowed to talk about this? Because this was a private message sent to our Facebook. We just can't use Sammy's name. I mean. It was not Sammy. But anyway, so the story is

that horse face number two used to actually be quite stunning. She used to not be a horse face. She probably was like a unicorn face. But then she fell through a ceiling and had to have massive reconstructive surgery and her modeling career hasn't been

the same since. So that's something to think about now personally I think her trashy Orange County tattoos might have something to do with that too oh this I think this is why you shouldn't hang out with poor people because they live in places that have ceilings that fall through well I'm just imagining some like epic scene from Batman that's all I can do I only imagine is Katie somehow like being hurtled through a glass ceiling and Batman having to come in and save her. She wishes it was that glamorous. It's more like an episode of Rescue 911 where it's like kids partying on a weak balcony at a trashy sorority house.

She's about to be date-raped by Chuck Bass in the season premiere of Gossip Girl. Again, you're making it more glamorous than her life ever was. You're right. You've seen inside her apartment on Vanderpump Rules. It's a dump. It's probably her own apartment. She probably didn't even get to move. She probably just put some duct tape on the floor and still lives there.

And also, how does falling through a ceiling give you a horse face? That's stupid. Well, because if you fall on your face, you know, that's how it works. Did that make it better? Didn't this person who will go unnamed that wrote us this insider tip to our Facebook page, do you think that she thought we were going to be sympathetic? Because that's not the case. No, I don't think so.

I think she was just trying to explain the origins of the horse. That's not the case. No, I don't think so. I think she's just trying to explain the origins of the horse. She was trying to make us feel bad because we put pictures of Katie in hideous model poses this week on our Facebook page. And I think she was trying to say, look, you guys, I mean, I know you think you're having fun, but this person went through a really rough time. Their friend died, and they have a tattoo of the date that their friend died on her wrist and she also fell through a ceiling and she used to be beautiful

and you guys really should try and be nicer. Again, though, I have to say this. A friend dying and falling through a ceiling does not give you a Tyra Banks five head. But I will say this, though. To clarify. Her hairline recedes as her guilt increases

but I will say here comes a nice thing for horse face number two when I saw her at the gym she looked like she'd lost some weight since the last time I'd seen her and she looked alright she looked alright for her these girls don't need to lose weight

we just saw them in the meeting no no here's the thing you're right she's not fat. We just saw them in the meeting. No, no. Here's the thing. You're right. She's not fat, but these stupid bitches are talking like they're freaking models. And for models, they are overweight. They actually are overweight for models. I'm sorry. That's the truth. Well, they're not too heavy to be Bed Bath & Beyond models,

which is basically what they are. I mean, let's be honest. And if they were models, they wouldn't be working at CERN. They'd be booking jobs like Laura Lee. Super star. Well, so here's the thing, though. These pictures that we put up of the models this week, I think those were mainly my doing because when I heard that Katie used to be a stunner, I tried to look up some images of her. I think I found one where I could see how at one point she probably was like crazy hot.

I could actually see that but then but it was even better because it led us to that amazing photo of Kristen that's on our Facebook page which if you guys are not liking our page here's a great reason to like it because you can see this picture which one is which who's horse face number two horse face number two is is the one that's not kristen wait which one is kristen which one is which kristen is the one with the crazy forehead that we put up a picture of where she's wearing like a sort of like a like an asian style like top that comes up to her so she's the one who fell through the roof right or whatever no no she's she's naturally falling through i was gonna say you cannot blame that all on floorboards excuse me excuse, can we please put that on a t-shirt?

She has naturally fallen through the roof. She's been broken in by genetics, not by a ceiling. She fell through God's roof. She fell through God's roof, and that's what happened. She had a few things coming out of the uterus. Oh, wait, we're talking about the other bitch? That girl doesn't look like she's ugly anyway. I mean, yes, we call her horse face to be nice because she thinks she's a model, but that girl's pretty.

I mean, she's slightly cross-eyed and, like, cabbage patch faced, but she's still prettier than most people. Wait, are you talking about Katie or Kristen? I don't know the prettier one out of the two. I mean, one of them is just not. One of them just looks like, did you guys watch Walking Dead? not one of them just looks like did you guys watch walking dead last night and or sunday night andrea was trying to disfigure a zombie so she cut off his arms and like knocked all of his teeth out with a stone that's what that girl looks like kristen is the one who said everyone who works everyone who works at vander everyone who works at Sir is just really good looking or something like that.

And she is never going to live that down. Yeah, the tall, skinny one who's a drama queen who made up with Stassi in the finale. Exactly. She's horse face number one. Oh, so she's... Okay. So she's never fallen through... Well, the other girl's pretty.

I don't want any excuses about her. I mean, give me a break. No, the other girl... I'm telling you. I think I said a few weeks ago when I first saw her. In person, the other girl... She's pretty. I don't want any excuses about her. I mean, give me a break. No, the other girl, I'm telling you, I think I said a few weeks ago when I first saw her. In person, the other girl, she's cute. Yeah, she's pretty. She's not a model the way that she says she's a model.

No, she's like a Ben and Jerry's model. Horseface number one, though. I've seen her in person now also. I saw them both walking together into the gym. And horseface number one, you know, her face is, she's got a horse face, you know? It's like,

she, if, look, if you were in Boise, Idaho, and you walked into a bar, and she was there, yeah,

she'd be like, smoking hot. She's a model for Boise, Idaho, is what you're saying? Yeah, she's a Boise 10, but in LA, she's just like,

a 7, you know? She's got a good body, but she's got stupid tattoos on her. Okay, pause. I don't think that she has a good body. Look, you know's got a good body, but she's got stupid tattoos on her. Okay, pause. I don't think that she has a good body. Look, you know I'm not into chicks,

but these women look like they are planks of plywood with no curves, no nothing going on. And look, we saw them in bathing suits this week. There's nothing going on. Stassi actually has the body. Stassi does have the body, but Kristen, though, has like, as like a model body

where you want, where they always like someone who's like, just basically like a Tim Burton, like, I remember before Christmas figure. Like, she's got that. She's a little Tim Burton-ish also. She's Jack Skellington or whatever his name was. I want to make it clear to the audience that

we're not only being sexist, we're also just rebelling against homely people who call themselves models and try and rub their thinnest in your face. If she had never said anything like that... We would not have been spending the past 15 minutes talking about it. And we will get to Vanderpump Rules in a bit. But this is why I secretly am liking the show, because it gets me so impassioned. But this is why I secretly am liking the show because it gets me so impassioned. Like I actually have real opinions on this show that come out of me, that vomit out of me.

Okay, well, we'll get to that in a second. Let's get on with some more gossip. Matt, what you got, boo? Season 16, Dancing with the Stars. Lisa Vanderpump is officially announced today as a new cast member. And she has a new hot boy dancer that is paired with her. And I kind of just want to get your guys' opinions. Do you think that anybody thinks that this woman has a chance at going far?

She seems to have a stick up her ass on the show, and we love her, but I cannot imagine her dancing. She doesn't even have sex. If you can't have sex, you can't dance. That's my opinion. Oh, she has a lot of sex. With who? Yeah, I mean, she makes those jokes that she doesn't have sex, but she has a lot of sex. She gave her husband a handjob in the hospital.

Okay, so here's the thing. Speaking of handjobs in the hospital, I think that this has nothing to do with handjobs in the hospital whatsoever. But I think she'll make it a few weeks in and then that's it because in certain ways I think her stiff British qualities will be very regal on the dance floor but I think that I can't see Lisa being limber Brandi Ronda

The names that they cast this year are not that big I mean if she goes out before Andy Dick that's a serious problem but I mean her biggest competition is Wynonna Judd, literally the biggest competition. And then maybe Kelly Pickler and one of those gymnast girls from the Olympics. But

I'm glad that Lisa's on the show. I think it's hilarious. She's posing with a jiggy and all of the press shots. Her partner is hot as F. Put them on Facebook. I will. I'll totally put them on Facebook tonight, and then any excuse to get Brandy in the audience

with Ken and Jiggy, I'm all for it. I'm actually going to have to watch Dancing with the Stars now, which disgusts me. You can tell me about that, because I'm not watching that shit. I'm a little concerned for the safety of Jiggy with Winona Ryder. I mean, Winona Judd walking around. And Winona Ryder. I was going to say, Winona Ryder would steal him.

No kidding, especially if there's a bottle of ketchup on the craft services table. That's just an appetizer. You know, Winona Judd, okay, since we've already been totally sexist, I'm just going to be obnoxious now. Winona Judd on Dancing with the Stars

reminds me of, remember when you'd play Super Mario Bros. 3 and one of those Bowser's they would jump up and when they land the ground would shake and Mario couldn't move I feel like that's what Winona will be like oh my god I actually think that well so Maxim

Chermovkoski whatever the hot dude Maxim he Max he quit today unexpectedly and I think it's because they paired him with Winona and he was like I already had to lift that fat bitch Kirstie Alley's ass up I'm not willing to hurt my back again I quit well didn't Wynonna actually lose a lot of weight

didn't she tell Oprah that she spent all her time walking around the woods thinking about things and it caused her to lose weight no that was Mindy McCready she would have done great on that show that would have saved her life That was Mindy McCready. She would have done great on that show. That would have saved her life, not celebrity rehab.

Well, she lost weight on her deathbed, that's for sure. How much does a human brain weigh again? And I thought I was a terrible person. Everybody send your hate mail to Ronnie at TVgasm. Well, what I'm glad about is that we actually have listeners who can tell when we're being tongue-in-cheek and that we are not as obnoxious as we sound. Oh, my God. Yes, we are. Yes, we're bad. That's pretty bad.

Okay, so Lisa, I'm excited for her. I think she's going to go far. Maxim can suck it. And I think that it's going to be very funny to watch him um try and make it in the world because he's only really got an ass his face is already kind of falling and he's no juliana huff okay so let's see where you end up maxim how dare you quit i heard that he quit because of uh salary because they're getting paid like a hundred thousand dollars a year and he thinks he deserves more he does deserve more but you know what? Do people really tune in for the dancers?

People tune in for the celebrities. Who cares? They're replaceable. Like Beyonce, I would say. Irreplaceable! Oh, it's a different Beyonce, but... Yeah, excuse me. If you were being Beyonce, you should lip-sync, not really sing, because she can't. How dare you? And look, you said nothing about Catherine Zeta

Jones lip-syncing at the Oscars. Team Kelly Rowland. Speaking of the Oscars, Matt, is there another piece of gossip you'd like to share with us? Yes, there is. I did post this. This is actually our current cover photo on Facebook. By the time you guys hear this podcast, it may no longer be the case. But Brandi Glanville caused a major stir.

She was on the red carpet at the Osccars and her chest was hanging out i mean if you take like the biggest plunging v-neck gown and then you multiply it with like a jessica rabbit dress i mean brandy was on you know it was almost borderline offensive some people are like if you got it flaunted i'm like first of all how did this bitch get invited to the oscars and second of all put your tits away well apparently it was also her self-designed dress. I guess she's becoming yet another housewife who's going to be

launching her own line, and so she actually designed her own stupid dress. I'm sure it will be as successful as Alexis Bellino Couture. Oh, I hope so. And by the way, thank you to whichever one of you posted the link to the Yahoo article about Brandy Glanville that was me

thank you what's synergy we did a blog post on Oscars about Brandy Glanville and oh let me tell you this so you know Oscars I have to deal with all that crap but the highest clicking thing off of the Yahoo homepage that day was the Brandy Glanville

blog it had a higher click-through rate than any other piece of oscars content all weekend because of that dress because of the dress wow she knows how to work it where was leanne rhymes click-throughs huh well she just bought a new house with eddie sibrian in what's this neighborhood? What's Hidden Hills? Where is that? You mean for Eddie Cibrian? Hidden Hills I think is Deep Valley. Oh by the way I think someone posted on the site or somewhere

I saw a headline that there's rumors that they want Leanne Rimes to be on the next season of Beverly Hills. Did we hear that? Oh yeah yeah yeah. She's saying that she can't do it. And one of the best things about that was that Brandy was like, I would love that. I think that would be great.

Yeah, I would love it, too. Let me tell you something. I would love that. If Bravo is smart, they will pay Leanne Rimes whatever it takes to get her on the show. Because, again, with Taylor and Adrian halfway out the door, that would be the addition that everybody would kill for yeah you know what you know what they could pair in bottles of jack jack and coke jack and cocaine yeah that's what i mean like not not jack and soda like a bottle that's half full of whiskey half full of cocaine give it to leon rhymes and she'll be there um yeah i i would love that and they're gonna have to come up with something for Brandy to do because Adrian's not going to be there.

And honestly, she doesn't do anything else. I mean, what else has she done all year except talk about dicks? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, why don't we start talking about Real Housewives of Beverly Hills then? Okay. Everything's just flowing so smoothly from one subject to the next do you think anybody is still listening to us after our opening

like 20 minutes of nothing probably not I like talking into the void I think my arch nemesis Eddie probably is he sent me a message on Instagram he's like now I'm following you on Instagram please give me another shout out

so there you go Eddie you are never going to work I actually think now that He sent me a message on Instagram. He's like, now I'm following you on Instagram. Please give me another shout out. So there you go, Eddie. You are never going to work with customers. You're such a bitch. I actually think now that people are going to start stalking me through the Instagram and it might be dangerous. Well, Eddie already is. He's got a love-hate with you, right? No, Eddie.

I like Eddie. I like Eddie too. Because he even came on to one of my YouTube Real Housewives redubs and commented about how much Matt hates him. Oh, he keeps posting on our iTunes page, which you guys should go to and leave us comments, too. He keeps posting on there, too, that he doesn't really hate me. But that, I think, means that he wants to skin me and wear me. You know what? Well, Ben actually got some attitude this week, too. I did?

Which is pretty fun. Yeah. Someone said, oh, my God, honey, I forgot your name but you're so cute. Did they say something about that Ben talks over me back when we first started the podcast? And it was a sticking point? Excuse me, Matt, you talk over me now all

the time. Right, I mean the tide has turned. The tide has turned. No, it says something like you know, thanks for posting the podcast, now we can listen to Ben name drop some more. You're welcome. I love it. I especially love it because it's not at me yet.

Just keep doing your funny voices and you will remain out of the line of target or the line of fire. It'll just be me and Ben with 95% of the company. I think people don't recognize our voices because it's mostly Ben. I'm usually just the one going But you know what's sad? I'm getting

called out for name dropping and the names I'm dropping are like Katie and Kristen from Vanderpump Rules. That's pathetic. It's really pathetic because it's like it's called our neighborhood and they all just happen to live around us. Yeah, we need to fucking move up in the world. At least, like, let me, like, name drop some big celebrities.

Not that I've seen any, but let me name drop some big celebrities. That way it's, like, worth it. But, man. That's where Abraham is Lebanese. That's where Abraham is Lebanese. Okay, so let's move on to Beverly Hills. Or we're going to be here all night. Okay.

So Beverly Hills opened with, I don't even remember, but they went to Paris and Kim got drunk. Ugh. You know. Don't jump ahead. No, it opened with, here's how,

speaking of drunkenness, the Richards sisters came together for like a secret cabal and they decided they were going to have a, like. No way. Before they decided anything, how is that house still standing because

if my house looked like that i would have it burnt down that looked like my memaw's living room with american flags everywhere and turtle okay excuse me we cannot move on until we talk about the turtle shells oh my turtle shells you guys and i even made a mario joke about mario jumps on turtle shells to kill his enemies uh and i did that for Ben. Nice callback. Can you stop talking about it unless you're going to talk about it with Kim voice? Thanks. Well, I just read about it in my recap,

so I feel bad quoting my own recap. Oh, let's post another one of those to our Facebook page. Well, here's what I like to actually... I get paid in recap posting links, okay? All right. Now that we've all said something catty to all of each other, we can now move on. We've each had a catty remark to each other. It's out of my system.

It's out of my system. I'm ready to go. Here's what I put. Hey, my friend Mario will jump on a turtle shell and slide it real fast to kill mushrooms. That guy's amazing, but really hairy. And I never understand what he's talking about. Accent. His brother, too.

I think they're twins, but they never wear the same outfits that's what i'd do if i had a twin unless i was your twin cow because those blue pants are really not gonna work for me hey kyle you're sitting on your dog kyle he needs a shell get it you know when uh when kim walks into that living room what i loved is that she looks out the window and she's like, and then she's like, you know, the one thing that I really miss about my old house, and I thought she was going to say was the beautiful view, and she was like, it's just nice

having a place to sit. I don't have a place to sit in a living room. I'm like, pitch a couch. Stack all those picture frames and make a couch. She's so busy standing in her dining room that doesn't have a dining room table or dining room chairs making chicken salad with her talons.

She could sit in the living room. She's replaced all seating with a conveyor belt for her chicken salad. I love your outside. I wish I had a couch like yours in my living room. Didn't you think that she was about to go in and say something about, like, I wish I still had a house until maurice stole it maurice i just love i'm obsessed with her being the only person to call him maurice it is my favorite thing of the entire show i love i feel like it's actually even gone away like i feel like that's why we need kim to be drunk

again so she can call him maurice more well we got that wish yeah we simply did fast forward okay so kim you know kim has that issue where whenever you make a life change uh you think that everybody else has to make life change such as oprah um i've lost weight now everybody has to lose weight exactly and i understand that look i've lost a little weight i've not lost very much weight but when i lost a little bit of weight everybody i saw was like oh my god learn to control yourself like in my mind and of course like a week later i've gained 30 pounds jesus christ but yeah that's how kim is being she's like i haven't had a drink for three days so now taylor is an alcoholic yeah well i mean taylor is an alcoholic. Taylor is an alcoholic. Yeah, totally. She did lose her daughter, you know?

Yeah, yeah. She's an alcoholic. I'm not disagreeing with that. It's just, you know, it needs to be called out by someone who didn't just, like, snort their Vicodin. Yeah. Yeah. I would agree. I would agree on that part.

Okay. Well, did you guys think, like, before they went over to Taylor's mansion, which I'm sure is about to be foreclosed on any second, that it seemed like Kyle wasn't too sure that she wanted to be part of this? And again, I just feel like, you know, Kyle hemming and hawing, but then, you know, she got dragged there. You know, did she want to or does she just want kind of to let Taylor off the hook? Because I feel like she lets Taylor off the hook constantly. She does. I mean, she lets Taylor off the hook constantly. She does. I mean, she's from a family of alcoholics. So, yeah, she's used to enabling.

It's what I do. I mean, look, I break up with people. I break up with friends who go to AA. I will not have that. If I can't enable you in some way, we have no friendship future. You know, Kyle is a bullshitter. Wow. Sorry, that was a bold statement.

I just needed a second. I only defriend friends who go to AAA because I like people who are reckless on the road. Well, look, if we became friends while you were an alcoholic, that's the friend that I became friends with. I don't want to be friends with sober you. I don't know them, and I most likely won't like them. That's what I'm trying to say. Does that make more sense? That's good.

Actually, that makes total sense. You know, it's a good message. Like, if you have a drinking problem, like, don't get it fixed because you'll lose all your friends. Right, like, I was friends with you in high school when you were fun and partying and now that you're married with three kids and you're obnoxious and all you do is post baby photos on Facebook, fuck you. Be friends.

I don't want to be friends with you. Yeah, boring. Don't subscribe. Boring. Oh, boring. Unsubscribe. Boring. Boring. So speaking of like alcoholic tendencies and everything, you know what I hated was there was a scene when Kyle was talking to Kim. I think they were at the airport later on. And Kyle was like, so what were some of your

tricks? And Kim's like, I put wine in my coffee cup. And then like Kyle was like, I knew it all. I knew everything you were doing. No, you didn't. You did not know it all because you just had to ask her what she was knew it all i knew everything you were doing no you didn't you did not know at all because you just had to ask her what she was doing don't act like you were always aware all this time you did not know anything she didn't know anything but you know what i was taking notes i was like oh if i put wine in my coffee mug at work and if i just pretend to blow on it like it's hot wine boom i'm in well that was the best part of that when she's like oh

so you put you put one in your coffee cup and that's why you're always blowing on it? She's like, no, I didn't blow on the coffee cup. I didn't blow on the wine. I didn't do that. I mean, come on. Yeah, I know. Like, come on. Like, she's not a crazy woman.

She only puts wine on the coffee cup. Like, I'm a drinker. I'm not being method about it. Meanwhile, why does she ever think that she could get away with it? It's not like if you drink wine instead of coffee, people can tell the difference between wine breath and coffee breath. Well, her teeth are rotted out anyway. So whether they were brown or a little red stained, I mean, she does have Abraham Lincoln teeth. I call it turtle juice.

And what I do is I put my cup under a turtle shell and I press turtle shell. And sometimes purple comes out and sometimes white comes out. And sometimes pink comes out. But I like the purple one the most. How funny was it when she is telling Kyle, she's like, or no, let's just get to the point where she's in the room with Taylor. And she's like, I can see that you're embarrassing your children the way I embarrassed my children. You have no idea how much you embarrassed your children.

You have no clue. Yeah, you don't even remember that shit because even when you watch the episodes, your ass was drunk. Well, you can see that's why Taylor's eyes widen when she's like, wait a second, I'm as bad as you. I'm getting schooled by this woman? What? Also, Taylor, you know, I just find Taylor to be so hilarious lately. And normally I just hate her guts. But her reaction to it was so funny.

She's like, well, no tears. And you could see her trying to switch it on so hard. But she wanted to laugh at the same time so she couldn't exactly sob. But when she's like, you know. She was probably stabbing a nail into her thigh trying to make a tear pop out. She's like, you know, having to explain to my daughter why daddy isn't here anymore please you think that your daughter doesn't know how to work the internet on the iphone that i'm sure she has come on and by the way um major props perhaps an emmy is

deserved for the editors who when kim was like i think you have a problem and they cut to this montage of taylor like swilling wine and being drunk they also cut to my favorite real housewife moment of taylor in a louis vuitton suitcase at meal chateau going that was honestly like that little sequence alone made the entire hour worth it taylor in that suitcase i'm telling you i just need to start making top 10 lists but that is a top 10 taylor moment is a great moment there's so many great Taylor moments, and that was one of them. Oh, the ad for the episode last week on Beverly Hills, and it was just her doing panty-less cartwheels. I was like, oh, here we go.

They decided to bring that back. Oh, gotta love it. That was the best montage ever. Yeah, it was fantastic. So anyway, so Taylor. Well, I was going to, sorry, Ben, I'm going to talk over you one more time. You know, we have a new show starting on Bravo next week called LA Shrinks, but part of me,

instead of them greenlighting crap like that, would prefer either a buddy cop show with the Richards sisters where they go and do interventions for ladies in Beverly Hills or, I don't know, but I feel like there's something there. You know, I always thought LA Shrinks was a show

about the city getting really small. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. What? Okay, but if Lisa Vanderpump can get a spinoff, it's time for Kim Richards to get a spinoff. Oh, yeah. I agree. So then, Meemaw, so finally after this intervention,

I think you did... Shut me down. Well, we have to move on. We can only talk about this for so long. So then, we moved over to Mohamed's new house, which we've been seeing renovated for over two different

television shows. By Sammy, who's no longer a cast member, but his fedora still is. Yes, so the house is finally done, so Yolanda naturally decided to throw a house for me. By Sammy, who's no longer a cast member, but his fedora still is. Yes. So the house is finally done. So Yolanda naturally decided to throw a housewarming. I think it's very important for every young woman to have a housewarming for their ex-husband. It just makes you feel more loved.

So she invited everyone over. And there, everyone realized that they were going to France, coincidentally. And from there, the big Parisian trip was born. Did anything funny happen at this party? Oh, wait. Yolanda confronted Taylor and was like, you know, I can't help, you know, people keep telling me that you have some sort of problem with me. Is there anything you want to tell me?

She's a very black and white person. You know, there could be, nothing would make me want to be less honest than Yolanda confronting me. I would just want to be like, no, no, nothing wrong, nothing wrong. I'll go now well i think that i'm wondering about the timeline on the show like when the show started airing um did it start airing after everything was already taped i don't think so because i read that they just did um lisa's wedding renewal or whatever her vowel renewal vowel her vow renewal ceremony a couple of weeks

ago so i'm not sure but i have a feeling that this was taped um a hundred years ago well no they couldn't have because they showed paris in the opening the opening coming this season clips but it just seems like i read a that article somebody posted on our facebook about it was a kyle uh an interview with kyle and she was saying that her only real friend out of all the ladies is taylor and everyone else you know like she may have seemed like she was kissing adrian's butt but they're not even close and they haven't even talked you know for ages and i just oh and yolanda is being mean to her on blogs because everyone is calling Yolanda boring all over the internet. So now Yolanda is trying to be relevant by being mean on the blogs.

And so I'm wondering if this was all taped after Yolanda found out that she was really boring and now she's trying to be interesting because Yolanda hasn't been – she hasn't done shit. She hasn't been confrontational at all, has she? She hasn't done shit. She hasn't been confrontational at all, has she? Ronnie, did you not listen to last week's podcast? Because there was a segment called Matt Talks Shit About Ronnie who said that Yolanda was going to be an amazing addition to this cast. And we're still waiting. Ben would agree with me.

Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will,

she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?

Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to

flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History

for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Did I say that? Oh my God. We only have like two or three weeks left, Ronnie, of this show.

No, we don't. It's only episode 15 and they're going to 22, right? No, we don't. It's only episode 15, and they're going to 22, right? Real Housewives of Orange County comes back on April 1st. But isn't that the replacement for Atlanta? They said Monday, April 1st. Maybe I'm wrong. Let me look at my calendar. This is an emergency. But didn't Atlanta start before Beverly Hills? They started the same week.

Hold on. I'm looking, everyone. I'm looking. Very important. April 1st is a Monday. So unless they move things around or whatever, then it looks like we only have – we probably only have like two more weeks. And then two weeks, two or three more weeks. And then the reunions.

But I could be wrong. They're going to keep milking this crap, you know. I mean, the fact that now Vanderpump is getting reunion shows. Shaz is getting multiple reunion shows. This, you know, it'll never end. It'll be summer before the Beverly Hills ladies are off TV. Yeah, that's true too. So they went to Paris. Well, Lisa went to

Saint-Tropez first to hang out. Let's talk about that. Yeah, let's talk about that. So Ken has a son who is 45 but looks really young and he's married to a woman who is Lisa's friend and she looks really old. The son kind of

looks like the guy that was in Blue Lagoon. Oh, yeah. I could see that. Who was that guy? I don't know. Was it Mark Hamill? It was Ken's son. It was Ken's son.

Anyway, Ken has a grandfather. We know Ken's in his 60s. We know Lisa's 50. So Ken had a son. Ken doesn't even know how old he was when he had a son because he was that drunk. He was either 19, either 1920 or 21 no it's because he's trying to cover lisa's lies about her age and he can't do the math that fast hello lisa's 50 anyway no way is lisa 50 there is no way in hell that lisa is 50 you think she's older yes lisa's late 50s if she's a day. No. Yes. I think her Wikipedia says she's 49, and Wikipedia is the truth.

49? Look, that girl is not 49, or plastic surgery, fillers, Botox, and vitamins are all a waste of time. The point is this. She looks a lot better than that old hag friend of hers. Well, that's true. That woman looked like that Muppet Janice mixed with betsy johnson and then her face got hit with a sledgehammer and then that's what you get apparently that was too mean for ronnie he's just silent i'm sorry i was texting i was texting i was texting well well look so they were sort of

in saint-trope which looked beautiful and amazing glamorous did you i wanted to be on the beach with them drinking rose with jiggy okay um i did too and okay uh by the way whoever hated me for name dropping here comes a uh location drop location drop i i went to i went to san trope like four and a half years ago. I was like, I did it all wrong. And I went to that beach and it was cold and miserable. And the sand was like shards of glass. And it was terrible. And seeing that made me so sad that I missed out on the proper San Tropez experience.

That's my obnoxious comment of the podcast. I never go anyplace. I never go anyplace or do anything. That whole segment, you guys were like, oh, that's so dreamy. I was like, this is boring. I want that old lady to fight with Lisa. Or I want someone to get hit by something. That was boring.

I don't want to watch Lisa just traveling around doing nothing. That's boring. I did like that when they got to their house their house which by the way was a ridiculous mansion also that she was like apparently you can just throw little dogs on planes and take them into france and it's not an issue yeah america is the only country that's such a pain in the ass like oh okay you try and come in australia oh are? Yeah, they are so strict about things coming in, things going out. Well, America takes pictures of your wiener when you get on the plane. Oh.

Burn. Tick. Burn. Hey, girl. So, see, we're even becoming boring talking about Lisa. So what else happened on this bullshit episode? Let's get past this. So, anyway, they all went to Paris. Except for Marissa Zanuck. Yeah yeah because her father-in-law died spoiler alert by the oscars the night before am i the only person that was like jealous of marissa i mean that's a lot of

inheritance maybe she can finally get a better house old people died let's all find the silver lining pat her on the back and hope for a check i was gonna say because she and kim and brandy glanville all live in that same track house on the same block did you guys notice by the way that melissa mccarthy at the oscars had marissa zanuck's mom's hairstyle yes anyone anyone knows that i was like it's not it's catching on. It's not a compliment. No, I love it. I love that hairstyle. Imagine that hairstyle with Kim's blousey bow top. That would be a deadly combo. Oh, my God.

Imagine Kim starring in Hairspray. That's what it would look like. Oh, my God. Mama told me not to use it. So, yeah, Marissa's dad died, or dad-in-law died, and then they all went to Paris because it was such a coincidence

that they were just all happening to go to Paris. And they all were flying Air Tahiti to Paris, which, of course, everyone flies that to get to Paris. Oh, yeah, Air Tahiti Nui. Like, oh, guys, I want to go to Paris, so I was thinking about flying Air France or American, but you know what? Let's fly Air Tahiti.ui. Oh, yeah. Like, oh, guys, I want to go to Paris. So I was thinking about flying Air France or American. But you know what?

Let's fly Air Tahiti. That makes sense. Let's do that instead. Well, are they going to go to Disneyland? Because so far, the only great thing that's happening is that Kim's falling off the wagon. And I feel horrible for loving that she's drunk. Like, that's horrible. It was amazing.

I like that um it looked by the way paris looked so beautiful it looked so pretty there i've never been to paris in the summer and i bet it's just like the most amazing thing i say that as if i'm like a regular going to paris i'm not a paris regular by the way but i'm just saying like it just looked so pretty and to see these people there i almost felt like it wasn't fair that these people they go and they are obnoxious on the balcony of like the best hotel in the city and we're here sitting on our couches podcasting that's why i have so much anger towards all of these shows i'm like why do they deserve it when is bastille day because that's when they were there july july 14th, so we're that far off from

taping to airing on TV. Wow. So maybe we should save up some money and go to Paris for Bastille Day this year and pretend we're the real housewives. Oh, hell no. I'm not going to no Paris. Ronnie, you're the one that's just complaining about you never go anywhere.

Come on. Let's do it. Well, I'm pretending that I don't want to because it's easier to deal with and not being able to afford it we can just go to yeah just go to vegas go to the casino it'll be good enough i don't want a boyfriend because i can't get one i don't want to go to paris because i can't afford to um so basically nothing happened nothing happened. Nothing happened on this trip to Paris, right? Not yet, but they said it's part one. So I guess next week we get to see,

well, at least we get to see Ken in a helmet and on one of those bicycle things that you stand on, whatever the hell those things are called. A people mover, a Segway. Oh, a Segway. Yeah, we get to see him on a people mover what's a people is a people mover a thing in the airport yeah that would be more exciting than what we normally see from ken oh look he's on a surface that's moving very slowly he's not feeding swans oh my god do

all these people have swans i know everyone has swans i love that it was oh i'm so glad that black swans are getting along with the white swans now like there's even race relation trouble in the swan world i know well i just i just think it's funny that these people are making statements about society through their swans and not even realizing it like she was literally talking about the swans um so let's move on to uh what else was on this week well top chef rules what you talking about it was the season finale of vanderpump rules and um once again like my blood was boiling like these people are like the worst people on television they are like are like the worst people on television. They are like... Stassi is beyond awful.

Beyond awful. So the episode opened up with Stassi and Jax are sort of like back together. At the puppy store on Fairfax, right down the street from us. That's right. And she has, I mean, not to name drop about Barkin' Bitches,

but we've walked by it. They charge you like $700 to adopt a 10-year-old pit bull. With nipples hanging down to the floor. Thanks a lot, Barkin' Bitches. You do a lot of business there? I would rather go, yeah, never mind. It was back to the usual bullshit.

Doss was saying things like... Payback, payback. I was back to the usual bullshit. Stassi was saying things like... Payback, payback. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Go ahead. It's okay. So Stassi was up to her usual things, saying to Jax, you let the dog get fat,

and you didn't change his collar, and you didn't feed him properly, and he's like, I'll do anything. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I mean, they could not be more awful if they tried. Like, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. I mean, they could not be more awful if they tried. I think last, did we last week compare her to Hitler? I don't remember.

Did we do that, Matt? Yes, yes, we did. Well, this week it's Pol Pot. I mean, she is just the worst ever. She is the worst. Here's the sad thing. Okay, what is it? I was just going to say, like, I used to be like her in the sense that I would,

in my early to mid-20s, I'd be one of those people who would, like, get pissy at somebody. And all I would want is for them to apologize. And then I would just ice them out. And, like, that's exactly what she's doing to Kristen. It's what she did to Jax and still probably is doing to Jax. Where it's like, you know you're in the power position even though you're the ass you're really the main asshole and it's just like you just want these people to say I would do anything for you

and then you still deny them it's like I want to be invited to every party just so I can RSVP no thanks so basically what you're saying is that you're really passive aggressive I'm just saying that people don't change ever I'm just saying that Eddie McGee I'm just saying that people don't change ever I'm just saying that Eddie McGee

hates me for good reason but I have turned over a new leaf and I'm no longer like Stassi so Eddie don't give him a Facebook friend request because he's going to decline you and it will make him so happy you need to not talk about him for a couple of weeks and he will be barking up your tree he is getting too famous

well I thought the funniest thing about it was that sassy cried 30 times in this episode and but she actually has real tears come out yes well she believes her own bullshit which is which is so wonderful about her like she really doesn't get that she's a hideous horrible human being and they even showed clips of the reunion show which is so sad that this is getting a reunion but they showed clips of that and even in that she's sobbing and saying and you made everyone hate me now everyone hates me honey your timeline is all fucked up people don't hate you because of jacks they hate you because you're an ass hole you are the hole of an ass you're an

asshole's asshole yeah literally like we have we. Yeah, literally like we have horse faces on one end, we have asshole on the other. Together they all just make one giant stupid mule, you know? Sloppy mule hole. Well, so here's the thing. When you talk about Stassi crying, I mean, that gets to the crux of it, which is that the big revelation

in all this is after several weeks of denying all this stuff, Jax, who we found out is a liar on all sorts of fronts. Please refer to him as Jason. His real name. He finally admitted, yes, he did have relations with a girl

in Vegas. And so Stassi starts to bawl and cry. And if we were living in a vacuum, if this is all we had ever seen, it would make sense. She should cry because this is not something had ever seen, it would make sense. She should cry because this is not something you ever want to hear. It's devastating.

And yet, she's crying and you can't even feel sympathy for her. You're just like that stupid fucking bitch. And then she's sitting there and she's going, what did I ever do to deserve this? What did I do?

I'm like, I'll tell you what you did. You were just like a hideous, hideous bitch. You were an evil person. You were someone, one of the most despicable people in the history of the planet earth like worse than any of the worst dinosaurs you know she she does not deserve to be loved i mean i would i would i would i would i don't like to say horrible things about people all the time but about her like she is one of those people in this world that does not deserve to be loved because she is so disgusting she does not people like

whenever your friend gets cheated on it's always the guy's fault no matter what the girl did but in this case it's like you here's what you did you were so horrible that you forced him and his broke ass to fill up his gas tank to drive all the way to Vegas to impregnate a porn star. That's how bad you were. Like, most guys could get in a fight and go jog around, you know, jog around the block. You drove him to fuck and impregnate a porn star. Do you know how poorly that could have turned out? That was all on your head, Stassi.

And also I'd like to say that she's so full of shit in her timeline. Oh, I said that about Jackson and now I look bad. No, honey, you were cheating ons first with that fucking bartender frank and basically admitted it on national tv then you broke up with jacks and then all this other stuff happened so don't act like all of this happened because of jacks all of that stuff with your friends started happening way before the stripper and the porn star stuff happening happened you are an ass hole donkey mule hole sloppy mule hole yeah see there's just there's no the thing is there's just no one to root for they're all just awful because she's hideous like that jacks is an asshole for doing

for lying and no why is he the asshole like because he wears eyebrow he wears eyebrow makeup if there is anybody to root for it is him him. And I feel disgusting, but I posted this on my Instagram last night, and Ben is giving me shit for it on Instagram. But look, anybody that has to put up with Stassi deserves a tiny— He signed up for that shit. He signed up for that. No, yeah, and not only that, he gets free rent. He's only staying with Stassi because he she pays for everything i mean

okay he's acknowledged that on tv excuse me excuse me can the two of you just realize that we need to give him a little bit of love because that body is sick no like it's literally sick with sores and warts and chlamydia and gonorrhea the guy the guy with the best body is the bus boy who's shoved off into the background and he has a slamming body. You know which one I'm talking about, right? Yeah, but butter face. Wipe that butter off your face.

He's got a cute Filipino face going on. He's got a slippery face because there's so much butter on it. I don't think there's any butter. No butter. I think it's butter face. It's margarine. He's got an earth balance jacks deserves no pity and and his whole i love that the way that he's trying to dig himself out of this hole

is that he's a victim because he had to become a compulsive liar because he was so embarrassed about not finishing college that he lied about finishing college and then changed his name from jason to jacks and even the the shrink was looking at him like look i'm only getting like sag minimum for being here i don't have to take this bullshit you lying to me i mean come on you're a man you're a full grown man in eyebrow makeup and your biggest secret is that you've changed your name to jacks come on i know well welcome to la what i love love about Jax is that he became a compulsive liar because he was an idiot. And he's an idiot because he's a compulsive liar. It's so fascinating.

Poor guy. You know, he's one of those people that could have gotten lucky when they were younger and impregnated somebody who actually kept the baby and forced him to pay like a certain amount of child support. And that would have forced some kind of responsibility on him but unfortunately he's always relied on a decent body and his stupidity has gotten him nowhere and he's never gonna get anywhere you guys come on good in a black speedo don't forget that he is the third horse face yeah he is the third horse face of the bunch i think he looks more like a hound dog personally but um what was i gonna say about oh well talk about the speedo so one of the things that happened was that there was a photo shoot a sexy unique restaurant photo shoot a sore yeah because because you know what when i want to

go out for a nice salmon dinner i want to think think about Stassi's wet, dripping ass voice on a card that's sitting on my table before I'm waiting for my salmon to arrive. Well, here's what cracked me up. I think it was Katie or someone said something along the lines of like, you know, what's really great about working at Sir is that like one moment you're waiting on tables and the next you're doing a photo shoot for the restaurant. And it's like, you know who else does photo shoots for the places that they work? Every freaking go-go dancer in West Hollywood. There's nothing special. Yeah, or Jared from Subway. Yeah, yeah. This is not – Anna Wintour did not just summon you to your city to do a photo shoot.

That's not the way it works. You're wearing the same bikini, you're wearing the same bikini that the girl on the Elephant Rhino billboards is wearing. Okay, man, shut up. Yeah, just because your boss said, come over to the house, get into a bikini and pose in my pool, that does not make you a fashion star. Also, we need to give Lisa a little bit of shit here. What is wrong with her?

I'm getting kind of offended by her. Well, you know, darling, all the way to darling all the way to all the way staff here has to be gorgeous you know says about gorgeous people it's like shut the fuck up why don't you try and make a few decent appetizers and cleansing the purges out of there bitch well i know it's give me a break give me my damn drink the lisa thing is funny because you, it was very jarring, personally, to watch. You see Lisa in Saint-Tropez with her European family, then they go to Paris, and

very sophisticated, very worldly. And then she slums it. Yeah, then it cuts the next hour, and she's in Sur, like, getting involved in all these stupid dramas with her stupid staff. Yet the ratings for Vanderpump Rules are through the roof, and we are definitely getting a second season, so she will continue to slum it on Dancing with the for vanderpump rules are through the roof and we are definitely getting a second season so she will continue to slum it on dancing with the stars and vanderpump rules in

order to bring home the bacon well i really wish that lisa would be like she is on vanderpump rules on real housewives because i really love her being like stussy you go to my restaurant with cement i'm on to you i'm on to you cut the crap i know what you're up to i mean i would love it but she needs to give she needs to give a little bit more of that to kyle yeah stassi did have one redeeming thing that she did this week which is that when she was fighting with jacks in the pool she's like don't swim away from me like a moody mermaid i just cracked up at that like what i know she wasn't intentionally trying to have an amusing turn of phrase,

but I just thought the idea of Jax being a moody mermaid and then for him to be like, I'm not a moody mermaid, was kind of amazing to me. One of the writers at TVgasm is friends with this whole crew because they're friends with some of the staff at Sir. When do we get to go out with them? Oh, God, do you want to? She's told them all about us.

I'm sure we do not want to go. That's probably why we've got people on our page trying to make us feel sorry for those horsies they probably throw drinks on us like they did in vegas stassi said she would come on the show but i just can't have it you know i should have set that up last week when i was gone i thought it was sheena not stassi sheena sheena i don't want anybody from azusa near me anyway even if it's even if it's via skype that's this is why we can't ever talk to them or hang out with them we're horrible that's okay anyway she was saying she was saying that no one's proud to be from azusa by the way it's not like sheena is proud of that she said that um

stassi is actually really really nice and funny and genuine i was like what but and she also someone on our facebook page said that jackax is the only person that's not friends with everybody on Facebook so they probably really did get rid of him or he was never really even a part of their circle in the first place well when he when he lied to them all they all looked pretty mad which is why Stassi said Frank was telling

the truth the entire time which for some reason I noticed like it was it was just like a mess up like she then said time right after but for some reason when she said lying the entire lime it just i don't know why it just made me crack up i think that um i know it's like i can't get restaurant drinks out of my head i think that she um i think the thing that was so offensive to her is that her friends of course know that jax was uh lying i mean of course course Jax went to Las Vegas and knocked up some hooker. Of course he did.

He's Jax. He's never been some angel. But I think that they knew that it was her fault deep down. And I think that that's what offended her. They didn't care that he had done that. The point was, she's an asshole and he's fun. Right, exactly. They all still think that she's worse than he is.

That's the thing. He can be terrible, but she's always going to be worse she will always be worse and the thing is this she can never blame it on the editing because we saw her on the amazing race family edition we know she was bred to be obnoxious and she continues to be obnoxious she was a brat at 14 and she's a brat at 24 with a chin implant right and they're showing the preview for next week because they are doing reunion. I'm sure episodes one through seven of a reunion. And she's continuing to sit up there on a stool, crying her eyes out, real tears, saying that everyone thinks that I'm the asshole.

Everyone thinks that I'm the jerk of the season, that I'm the villain. And it's like you did this to yourself. Yeah. The words came out of your stupid mouth. You're horrible. Which is a beast to a lady yeah and i love that those little that bravo puts those little contests on the bottom of the screen i love those they're like what percentage of you think stassi's a horrible c wordy a-hole 96

it's never like a split it's never like even 70 it's always like you think saucy's wrong yes 98 yeah how many of you think that stassi is a sloppy donkey hole and they're like how many percent this was actually a real one how many of you think jackson needs to put like 50 socks in his speedo yeah it's like yeah he needs to put like 70 more socks it's like it's the entire – no one who watches the show actually likes these people. Like everyone just loves ragging on them. That's why I've grown to like the show because it's so vile but it's the sort of vile show that you can just really wail on. Speaking of vile, can we talk about the ridiculous like three-minute segment of creepy, creepy Laura Lee telling Lisa that she had to quit because she was moving to north carolina to go work on a jennifer aniston film like she's jennifer aniston's real co-star

yes i looked that up and she is doing a movie but i don't i mean she is doing a movie with jennifer aniston but so are 500 other um supporting cast know. She probably has like one line and she's like, what sort of milk would you like in your meth? I mean coffee. And the director's probably like, let's keep that in. I'm just saying this right now. I am a lifetime voting member of the Golden Raspberry Awards, a.k.a. the Razzies. And I am already going to send an email to the president nominating Laura Lee for her role in the Jennifer Aniston film for

worst supporting actress of the year wait I like Laura Lee, Laura Lee was like the one sane person I felt like, she like wait wait wait, she is not sane Ben for a meth head I thought for a meth head she holds together pretty well no she's not unharmed, no no let me tell you something she was the one

when she would go off on Stassi when she would go off on anyone, she actually had a voice of reason. You can see she's just like this person who's in this hideous job with these hideous people, and she's just getting pushed. And even though she's kind of crazy, there's something I thought sort of likable about her. Nobody with a voice of reason is like, oh, hey, I have a hot new boyfriend. Let me take him to my meth addicts um anonymous class um on on date two uh but you have to where was that being held probably right down the block from all of our houses where it was it was right by they were standing outside m bar like did they really just oh no you're right no you're right it was it was outside him but they were like at that little

coffee shop that's next to sassafras. Who has fucking meth head beatings there? And I love that the guy that they showed doing his confessional or whatever before her was actually a meth head. He's like, wow. You know what though? You still have to give Laura Lee credit for her final monologue against Jax,

which was just like, you had unprotected... You're a 33-year-old waiter. Oh, no, the one that she... I've protected sex with me, and then you fucked up with me by defunding me on Facebook. She said, you told me intimate things while you were

inside of me. Isn't that hilarious? It was like a Melrose Place script that is something that definitely Amanda Woodward said to Billy in front of Allison to make Allison want to go hang herself like their ex-boss at D&D

advertising like it was that kind of script well if only Lorelei realized that everything Jax told her while he was inside of her were lies. That was really bad. By the way, if I'm ever on a reality TV show, please Jesus cast me. All I'm going to do is take

old episodes of 90210 Melrose Place and memorize them so I can spew them at my cast members. Well, that was horrible last... I guess you already talked about this, but when he was in the steam room and she was outside the steam room and he said, is this what it's like talking to your dad?

Did you talk about that? Are you starting to sound like a robot? Everyone sounds like a robot right now. I think the Skype is like, oh my god, is this what I'm using my bandwidth on? Is this what we're allowing this discussion to go on right now? All of a sudden we all sound like we're in a 1980s telephone.

Did it clear up? No, it's terrible. Everyone sounds hideous. I wonder if it's me. Well, we can still hear each other. Just isn't clear. So sorry, listeners. I think I'll still sound clear because I'm on the local since I'm recording it this week.

You know. Okay. Well, we're pretty much done with all this BS, aren't we? Oh, no. We have Top Chef still. Top Chef. So Sheldon went home. Yes.

I was reading for the all-girl finale. I really was. But God, I was crying a little bit when he left. I felt so bad for him. I like him. And I, you know, Ronnie, if you had bothered to listen to our podcast last week, you would have heard my rant. But no, I just let just be honest. I like that you're honest like like brandy glanville if i'm taking a break i'm taking a full break i thought you were sick not taking a break well

it's a break i hide in bed that's an excuse to hide in bed and not do shit okay anyway i think that last chance kitchen is a complete crock of shit and i did think that kristin went out way too early on this season but i do not think it is right for her to be able to sneak back in at the last second and boot sheldon out it should have been sheldon and brooke and the finale in the first place and yes kristin is amazing but if brooke does not win and it goes to kristin i think that bravo is going to have a serious problem on their hands because i think that people are going to be crying foul and saying this is total crap and you should not be able to win the show this way. Well you didn't watch

Last Chance Kitchen right? I just watched all those god damn ads. That's all I needed to see. I'm not criticizing you for not watching it. I'm just saying that when you watch it it makes a little bit more sense because the challenges are really hard and she had to beat

everybody who got kicked off after her in order to make it. Excuse me. No, no. I saw enough of The Last Chance Kitchen to say CJ took out seven people. And then Kristen comes in and takes out four. And she's back in the finale. But each one you take out, there are better and better chefs that get taken out for the most part. He was taking out the terrible chefs.

He was taking out the chefs who couldn't cook a piece of chicken. Whatever. Look, I'm going to just disagree with you guys. Listen, here's the thing, though. Bravo, if Kristen wins, Bravo would be happy because it says, see, our web show is legitimized because it produced a real result. So I think they would be happy with it. If you guys are fools enough to think that if that happens, all that is is Bravo trying to pull the wool over people's eyes and forcing

us to go to their websites. And it's called I already give you enough of my life watching your crap TV shows around the clock. Now you want me to go spend 11 minutes per week also watching one of your crap shows online? No, it's not fair. I already give you enough of my life. You should put it on the goddamn television. Either way,on messed up it's a good show sheldon still messed up though because

he did the age-old mistake i don't know why anyone ever does this he comes back and he's like well i've never really made this before this isn't really my style but i want to do something different did you have flashbacks to the suvi. I have sous vide flashbacks all the time. I'm still playing Bunny Fufu for that. That stupid Texan. Oh my god, she ruined Carlos. Has there ever been a successful sous vide on Top Chef? I think people should stay away from it.

Well, it's because it's gelatinous grossness. I mean, sous vide is just fucking disgusting. I can't believe that that's even still around. That needs to go away. That needs to go away like red dining rooms. People painting their accent wall red no stop it that's just done but i do want to agree with matt on one thing darling i think that um it is the thing that is kind of annoying

with kristin is that she got to come back for another chance right but she really didn't do anything mind-blowing she fucked up just as much as sheldon if not more i mean she fucked up a lot of stuff in the end so she should have i think in order to come back you should really have to blow everybody away to get another chance to come back right i mean the only one that was guaranteed to make the final two was brooke yeah and i think that the uh i think last chance kitchen should also maybe deposit a chef not at the finale but maybe a week or two before. Hello, we've been saying that for the past few weeks. Sort of what they did last year with Bev. Right.

If you get dropped into the final four, I'm all for that. It's not – it's just the fast pass to the finale is effed up. Yeah. Yeah. Plus on top of that, it also kind of screwed up everything because now they're in la for the finale which feels a little anticlimactic and they're doing this weird almost like iron chef thing for the for the finale tomorrow night and they're also calling it like top chef seattle but it was called top chef seattle for half the season then half in alaska now we're going to la and now

it's becoming the iron chef what the fuck yeah i like the idea of it being iron chef because they can't they can't really cheat as much you know like the judges get to cheat a lot more when it's well i guess it's not live anyway but it seems like they can just make it up as they go along because i notice on top chef with every episode they sound like well oh my god this was amazing this was delicious and then when it gets to judges table they're like this was disgusting i don't know why you would serve this with that it's like you weren't saying that 20 minutes ago motherfucker yeah yeah i don't know i'm excited for i hope brook wins i kind of hope brook wins but i i would also like to see kristin just kick ass and like legit win because it looks like she has to have

stefan on her team and as fun as stefan is as a human being and all that, he's not very good. Yeah. I think that's what we'd call a handicap. She probably chose him because they have their little flirt thing going on. God, never team up with someone you want to fuck. Usually, in my case, it means they're just a horrible person. If I want to fuck them in the first place they're usually poor, talentless and fugly so I shouldn't team up with them

oh my life is horrible I can't do this podcast anymore and surprisingly we only talked about two and a half shows this week I know well we only went ten minutes over this time around so anyway I think that's the perfect time for us to wrap things

up I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com 10 minutes over this time around. So anyway, I think that's the perfect time for us to wrap things up. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and my Twitter is at bsideblog, same with my Instagram. Matt is with us. Matt, Matt Woodfield,

life on the M list on Twitter. Yes, I am. Yes, I am with you. Yeah. I'm doing the intro at the end. God, you're like the new Eddie McGee. I'm Ronnie. I'm with at tvgasm or tvgasm.com

and come on our Facebook page because I posted our Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap and I'm about to post our redub of The Wake. See, I have to plug my stuff. You guys should all plug your own shit. Why don't you plug stuff? You know what needs to be plugged is Kristen's forehead.

I should start inviting what, Matt? Us to participate in your redubs. No, the redubs will take forever. But maybe the recaps. But thank you for the suggestion. I have nothing to plug. That's why I'm plugging my Instagram. Oh, well, you're not doing your recaps right now.

Are you going to be doing them for Orange County? I don't know. I don't know when I'm going to get my blog up and going again. I still post things here and there. I post just like little food items. Yeah, you post restaurant stuff. My co-worker Dave put together Stassi's 12

most offensive, disgusting moments from the season, and I'm going to post that because it's kind of amazing. That's my pal Dave Nemitz from Yahoo TV, and I'm going to post it, and you all need to read it because it's awesome. Look, I go to our page to read it literally like four times a day when I'm sitting on my computer. And when we don't have shows constantly airing, there's days that we're dead for days and days and days.

I mean, I think it's better to post stuff and go on there and read. I think it's really fun. I also like posting the gossipy moments too and then getting everybody's reaction like when i posted the lisa vanderpump joining dancing with the stars people participated and by the way we are now over a hundred likes slash followers or a thousand baby steps i would like to say thank you to jesse for for making that picture of kim and fat face uh with their dueling chicken salad and egg salad. That's amazing. It makes me laugh so much.

That's so stunning. Thank you, Jesse. Okay, so we're out of here. We will see you next time. Like, subscribe, comment, do all that bullshit. Love you. Oh, bullshit Couldn't drag me away.

The wild forces couldn't drag me away. Away. Couldn't drag me away Away Did you guys hang up on me? I wanted to, but I didn't. Man! Books behind the Sideshow Network have launched a new YouTube channel called Wait For It. It's got interviews with comedians like Reggie Watts, Todd Glass, Liza Schleichinger. Schleichinger, I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there, and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza.

Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash wait for it comedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments.

Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing. Hashtag savings. GEICO.

15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Happens ad-free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen ad-free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey.