Watch What Crappens - #73: Alexis Feels Bullied; Also, Is This The Hood or Pups In Paris?
Episode Date: May 1, 2013This week on a spirited episode of Watch What Crappens, Ronnie Karam (TVgasm.com), Matt Whitefield (Yahoo!) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) tackle an important issue for this country: bull...ying. Or as Alexis Bellino calls it, BOOLYING. The guys fiercely debate whether or not Alexis was in fact bullied by the other women on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Then it's on to Married To Medicine to discuss two seminal Atlanta events: The Spooky Ooky Halloween Party and Pups In Paris. It's Mariah vs. Toya, and the guys have plenty of opinions about both. Finally, things close out with lost footage from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and as always there's tons of gossip and bizarre references throughout. Definitely check this episode out! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast dedicated to all that crap we love to watch on Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, and joining me as always are Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog and Ronnie Karam from TVgasm.
Say hello.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
So, guys, we have much to discuss this week, obviously, as we always do.
But before we do that, we want to give a huge shout out to all of our users, our listeners,
our fans. You guys are amazing. You came through for me on the iTunes page by leaving more five
star comments. We love those. And if you guys are not paying attention to our Facebook page,
you definitely need to get involved. We're at facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens.
You can also follow the fun on Twitter at what crap happens.
You can follow me, Matt Whitfield at life on the M list. You can follow Ben at B side blog,
and you can follow Ronnie at TV gasm. Yeah. Um, and people should definitely come to the Facebook
page because it is off the hook. We have so many people who are putting stuff on our page. Now
it's hard to even keep up. We are almost at400 followers, which a few weeks ago, I want to say we were like at 800.
So I'm very impressed.
Yeah, absolutely.
And we also put up content there that's not on this show.
So, for instance, about an hour before this podcast, I had nothing to do.
So I took screenshots of Gretchen Rossi's home and highlighted all her different TJ Maxx type of
decor elements. Which is, by the way, that's becoming one of my favorite because we have
sub-franchise or we actually have franchises on our Facebook page. And one of them is the
Gretchen Rossi decor essentials. And Ben, you just took it to a whole nother level. And by the way,
some of our users are so obsessed and crazy just like the
three of us that they are actually now going into ross tj maxx and marshalls and taking photos of
the decor that is typically found in the real housewives of orange county's kitchens i i know
i can't wait to go myself like i it's strange that i haven't been to marshalls in the past eight
weeks like i'm normally there once every two weeks I can't wait to go in there with my camera
and just take pictures of everything.
Because if there's one thing that we've learned
from Gretchen Rossi is that
there's never enough TJ Maxx decor in your house.
There's always room for more.
That is true. That is true.
Ronnie, have you purchased anything recently
at a Ross, TJ Maxx, or Marshalls?
I got a new nonstick panic
Ross, and I also
got some new jogging pants, but then I got home
and realized that they don't have a back pocket
and they're only half-lined, because
that's how Ross is.
And I think
that's all I bought this week.
Please don't tell me that you go to the Ross at the Beverly Connection.
It is the ghetto-est. I know that's
not a word, but it is the ghetto-est Ross I've ever been in. No, because I don't tell me that you go to the ross at the beverly connection it is the ghettoist i i know that's not a word but it is the ghettoist ross i've ever been in no because i don't approve of
their parking there i think that they intentionally get you lost which ross do you go to not the one
across in the grove we talked about this last week he goes to the one on sunset in la brea right with
all the homeless people in the parking lot that's my home store with the Walking Dead set outside. And then
I occasionally go to the third in Beverly
and if I'm feeling really crazy
I'll go to Western and
Western and whatever.
Listen, Western is
way too east. It gets scary over there.
I used to live there. Trust me, I know.
Anyone who knows
anyone who knows anything about
TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls know that there's only two places to go.
One is the aforementioned Beverly Connection with its confusing parking lot, and the other is the Empire Center in Burbank, which has huge options on all fronts.
But oddly enough, HomeGoods, the only one that's nearby, you have to go to Glendale, which is a whole other issue.
What's the thing at the show?
Last time I went to HomeGoods, I ended up buying a car.
I was on my way to HomeGoods, and I was
like, I'll go test drive a car for fun,
and I'm such a sucker. I might as
well have boobs. I mean, I'm sorry, ladies,
but you know it's true. The worst
car buyers of all time
in history. And I'm the worst, too. I'm like, okay, I'll
buy a car with money I don't have.
And speaking of boobs, you did
buy a lady car. I'm not going to lie.
I did. I bought a lady car, and I actually
grew bigger boobs since I bought that car, too.
Did you buy the Jennifer Lopez
edition of the Fiat?
No, I have...
No, she has, like, the cream-colored one, right?
She had the cream-colored, like, 500cc
special J-Lo edition.
Yeah. No, I do have a convertible, but
I have a black with a red top.
Ooh.
And like a built-in bra
that holds my boobs up while I drive.
I didn't know you were a top.
I was about to say,
it seems to really be missing
a TJ Maxx Diva Margarita Glass
to go right in the cup holder.
Gretchen Rossi style.
They're too small.
Those are the most rickety cars
ever invented.
The Fiat.
Do you have a... It should be soldety cars ever invented. Do you have a...
They should be sold at TJ Maxx.
Do you have a license plate holder that says,
I'd rather be shopping at TJ Maxx?
That's bedazzled.
No, but I actually did go to Ross because they have an automotive section.
I mean...
Stop!
It's not a section, but it's like a little tiny half aisle.
Okay, do not...
Wait a second.
I don't believe you for a second.
I don't want anything associated with my car that came from a budget clothing store.
Okay?
Are these like the Ross Dress for Less shocks?
Because you might be in for a shock.
Pick up some brake pads at the Ross Dress for Less.
What are you talking about?
New transmission at Ross.
I bought lit gas and brake pedal.
They're lit.
But I couldn't install them.
I didn't know how to do it right.
You didn't buy some bedazzled fuzzy dice.
And the Fiat doesn't have holes to put your license plate in.
So instead of drilling them, I was trying to find a license plate holder that I could glue onto the car.
Listen, Ronnie, you going to Ross for things for your car makes as much sense as me deciding to go to AutoZone to find my next cute outfit, okay?
Listen, it's why everybody knows it here.
It's because everybody knows my name up in the Ross.
They're like, what's that, mister?
Which is my name when I go to Ross.
It's mister?
Yeah.
Like Leighton Meester.
If people ask me my name in Ross, I say, it's mister. like layton mister people tell me if people ask me my name and ross i say it's mister like okay mister okay so anyway this is this show is about bravo and i
think we do owe you all uh hello my name is ronnie and i'm an alcoholic after last week's episode
okay let's get our apologies out of the way right now first First of all, my boyfriend's name is Jesus, not Jesus.
Let's get it straight, people.
Don't get it twisted.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
That's the only thing I needed to clear up because, you know, I don't have anything else to apologize for.
I have nothing to apologize for.
Nothing.
Me neither.
Okay.
So what else happened?
Okay.
So you guys want to talk some gossip first?
Yeah.
Well, I want to talk gossip.
But before we do that, I just wanted to bring up the amazing Instagram photo that I shared earlier this week.
Yeah, that was amazing.
Which Bravo TV posted, which my birthday is in two weeks, and I need to have this shirt.
It says, who is Adrian Maloof in this world?
And the hottest piece of hot is wearing it.
Who?
Did you ask him where he got it?
I don't know.
No, I don't know who is even wearing it.
Bravo posted it.
I know for a fact that it's –
Oh, I thought you took that picture.
No, that's not me, and I didn't take that photo.
I reposted it or I regrammed it, hashtag regrammed it from Bravo TV.
Ronnie didn't even pay attention even though I called him out in the post.
But our friends, you know, Yummy Wasabi, Jutz, and Gaga Garza certainly did, but Ronnie didn't. Yes, I did.
I put OMG or something.
I put a really intelligent comment. Oh, no, wait, I see.
Your comment was amaze.
Yeah. You see?
That was a well-thought-out comment. Okay, well, the point is
who's buying me that shirt for my birthday on May 13th?
Andy Cohen.
Jesus.
Your mom.
Shari from Shari's Berries. Ben, can you say it with a Long Island accent forari from shari's berries
ben can you say it with a long island accent for shari's berries
which actually is a perfect segue matt because um we were
emailed uh or messaged some gossip about long island princesses
um we need to talk about it because i'm gonna be honest i don't know if there's
a show i've ever looked more forward to in my life
i know i i'm really it's gonna it's gonna i haven't looked this forward
to a show since they did that spin-off of the golden girls called the golden palace oh with
don oh my god that only lasted one season and it didn't even include b arthur yeah yeah she got
married i wonder if they had golden showers at the golden Palace. I'm sure. Don Cheadle had to start somewhere.
Well, and we know Blanche was a slut and she would do anything.
Oh, yeah.
She was the one giving it.
Who knew that that show wouldn't be funny without Dorothy?
I mean, none of them were funny on that show.
Speaking of my birthday, I share the same birthday as Bea Arthur.
She would probably approve from the grave if somebody purchased me that Adrian Maloof tank top.
All right. So we'll give Matt another chance to Adrian Maloof tank top. All right.
So we'll give Matt another chance to ask for that tank top in a moment.
But first, let me read this gossip.
OK, so this guy emailed it in and he says, my friend works at Bravo.
I've seen that Long Island Princesses show and it is insane.
They're all nuts.
And he wrote nuts with a Z.
Wait for the episode when they're all at the backyard barbecue and a drunk girl accuses one of the princesses
boyfriend of being gay. They all flip
out and the drunk girl won't let up.
It's hilarious. Now here comes some other stuff.
Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Surprise.
Bravo likes to have fights happen
at backyard dinner parties.
He says, I can also
tell you that lots of crazy stuff was filmed
for the New Jersey Housewives, but Bravo
is making edits to make Caroline look better. I think Bravo thinks the So I guess he's saying that they're allowed to bash on everyone else except Caroline.
So the moment when it is revealed at a party, attended by Lil' Kim no less, that Caroline's husband is cheating on her, that moment will not be shown.
And also, the final fight where Jacqueline, her hubby, and Joe Gorga fight a guy at a party and draw blood, they're trying to not have on the show.
Plus, they were going to have Danielle and Dina back, but Bravo messed it up by not giving them more money.
If you want Danielle's brand of crazy, you gotta pay up. Duh.
I have much to talk about there are there
still more that you're gonna ramble on about or can i start i am i well listen i i'm just
seeing if there's any other pieces of gossip he said some other stuff about like uh ramona and
aviva but i don't know now we don't know if any of this is true by the way okay before you get to
any let's talk about this though because one of the big things that is popping this week is
is the upcoming season of the real housewives of New Jersey a complete fraud?
Are all of these women just acting?
And more importantly, is Caroline just faking everything in order to keep her family all on the show, all getting paid, so she'll put on a happy face and play along with Teresa?
Well, I mean, obviously she's doing this for the money.
That's what they all are doing. And I never really think that they're acting because if any of these women could act as well as what we see, then they would have careers as actors.
Well, we know that Teresa cannot act.
But Caroline, I know, was – she deserved to be pulled through the ringer or whatever you call it last season because she was awful.
But now she's trying to save face the way we've seen so many of these women in the past do and
i think that the ship has sailed i'm never going to be team caroline again i don't think i'm team
any of these women maybe melissa well i don't know why they're hiding the fact that her husband
cheated on her because it's been all over the news because usually that happens like after
they film something is revealed they all run to radar online or whatever so it looks like they
were the ones who put it out there in the first place.
So I don't know why they try and hide that now.
I mean, I guess the most interesting thing about that and the questions that all the
audience is going to have is how did that guy get a boner?
I mean, that guy barely looks like he can walk across the room to find the remote control.
How's he getting a boner?
He has lap band surgery every other week.
So I would think that that would prevent him from getting a hard-on.
I would think so.
He's probably doing the helicopter like crazy.
He's probably going to swing that thing off one day.
Maybe he just has a Bonnie Franklin fetish.
Did you just say the helicopter?
Yeah, the helicopter is when you make your wiener fly around like a helicopter so you can get it working.
Okay, we're less than 30 minutes into the podcast and matt has officially clutched his pearls see and i'm imagining that in front of
caroline's face and then of course like i just mentioned before caroline always makes me think
of bonnie franklin dearly departed now i'm getting divisions of her family playing throw the ham
because they love to play throw the ham now i'm imagining schneider doing the helicopter in front of bonnie franklin and valley bernelli schneider schneider is more fuckable than that
man's old person i'll say schneider then or schneider now both but together schneider
wearing the tool belt or not wearing the i would rather have a three-way with future Schneider and past Schneider than ever see Caroline naked.
I would rather be on a spit in between old Schneider and new Schneider.
With Valerie Bertinelli and what's-her-face, the one who had sex with her dad.
What was her name?
Chyna Phillips' sister.
Yeah, Mackenzie Phillips.
Yeah, Mackenzie Phillips.
I would rather be witnessing Mackenzie Phillips' childhood trauma with old and future Schneider next to me, naked, than to be in bed with Caroline Manzo.
I would rather have sex with the dead guy from Empty Nest and Christy McNichol, his co-star from Empty Nest, than be in the presence of a naked Carolina?
I would rather have sex with Diana Manoff
and Dreyfus
Did Jim just bring up
Diana Manoff?
and Dreyfus the dog,
as well as David Leisure
next door,
than be involved with Diana Manoff.
I would rather be the towel that cleaned up the pee that that guy got a golden
shower with on the set of golden palace i would rather be spanked by park overall aka laverne
from empty nest i would rather i would rather be um i can't even say that i would rather be – I can't even say that. I would rather be in Max Wright's crack den.
Max Wright, the father from Elf, who was busted famously for doing crack with homeless men.
Yes.
Look it up on the internet.
It's really disturbing, their pictures.
I would rather be handcuffed by Marsha Warfield from Night Court before she ended up on Empty Nest.
Oh, my God.
ended up on Empty Nest.
Oh my god. I would rather
have intimate moments
with past and future Paul Provenza
who also had a guest arc
on Empty Nest
than Caroline Mayanzo.
You guys, it's important that we get back to Bravo.
So tell me this. Where is Park overall?
What happened to her?
I don't know. I think she should be on The Real Housewives of Nashville.
I think Park overall is probably
dealing blackjack
on a boat floating down the
Mississippi right now.
And selling cigarettes.
So, what other
gossip do we have?
Let's talk about this.
What were we talking about?
Jersey's Fake and Stupid, yes.
Jersey's Fake and Stupid, moving on.
Okay, let's talk Beverly Hills for a second.
Adrienne Maloof is now claiming that she is getting a reality show that is not on Bravo, but a separate reality show.
And in other Beverly Hills news, I believe—
What is it?
What is the show?
What's it going to be on?
Well, she doesn't know, and we don't know what network it's going to be on, but she's claiming this.
It's like her book deal that she got.
Yes, but I definitely think that it should definitely involve lots of Bernie. I think it should like her book deal that she got yes but i definitely think that it
should definitely involve lots of bernie i think it should be her crying while bernie cooks yeah
um that is not gonna happen that show's not gonna happen and the only way it is gonna happen
is if she produces it herself and it's gonna be on like the tv guide channel i just i just hope
no no one you know like on the premiere nothing bad happens because i wouldn't want like want like a repeat of what happened when Lisa was trying to renew her vows and everything.
How sad that we're going to be celebrating the renewal.
Somebody else's.
Yeah, the same day that we hear about our friend's split.
So upsetting.
I know.
I love that Ben hasn't had time to record any new audio clips, so we're going back to Camille.
That's all I need.
Well, I can give you a candy.
You want to hear a candy?
No, save it for later.
I can give you a Kim Richards.
Save it for later.
I think that Adrian's reality show will probably be playing on one of those free channels in the Palms Hotel on all the TVs maybe.
Totally, yes.
And you're going to get to see like the C-list porn that you can watch.
Right, and she'll be like like it's seen by millions and actually no it's just one of those free
channels on the the palms network where they tell you about the buffet and like where the
spa services and where you get your hair tensile could you imagine like could you imagine adrian
maloof next to like some hideous floral arrangement next to the buffet be like
come down and try the shrimp cocktail.
The pool closes at 10, and I ain't kidding.
No wonder the Palms is going into foreclosure or something.
Okay, Taylor, I was about to say Taylor Swift.
She's actually worse than Taylor Swift,
which is hard to imagine.
But Taylor Armstrong has been downgraded
to friend of the housewives.
What do we think?
Boo.
Well, she's still on it.
That's something.
She fought too hard to get into this zip code to leave now.
I actually think this is really sad news because Taylor is an alcoholic who is never going to get clean.
And Taylor drunk on TV is my favorite thing ever.
Here's what I want.
I want to spin off with Taylor and Dana being drunk and miserable on the sidelines.
They're in 90212, you know?
Yeah, I want Taylor and Dana to work at a temp agency.
And, like, every episode could be them trying to temp.
And you know what it should be called?
And this is a phrase that is used in this area, especially on, like, Craigslist and stuff.
But their spinoff should be called Beverly Hills Adjacent.
Yes, it should be. Or it could be like their names it could be like dana and taylor or taylor dana taylor dane it could be
taylor dane should be on the show too guys taylor taylor dane will play their boss at the um at the
agency and the taylor dane agency the taylor dane. And she'll dress like Amanda Woodward from Melrose Place.
And Taylor and Dana will be working their butts off to stay in 90210 and rent like a shitty little apartment in Beverly Hills adjacent on – what's that street?
Fairfax.
No, they have to be like on Fairfax between Little Ethiopia and The Grove.
Yeah.
And their receptionist is played by Park Overall.
Yes.
Oh my god, finally.
And Dreyfuss is there too.
This show was just a joke to me until you said that.
And the ghost of Richard Mulligan and Bonnie Franklin will haunt this space.
And the synergy, this is all part of the NBC Universal family, so we could easily get it on NBC because they have nothing else to show.
I bet this would be their biggest sitcom since Whitney. You know what? It would bring
back the Thursday night, you know,
dream that NBC used to have.
Thursday night, 8 p.m. This is our show.
Must-see TV. Must-see TV.
Honestly, I would watch it.
Okay, there was a rumor that
Gigi and Paul,
Adrian's ex, were dating because they were seen together
at some restaurant. I don't buy it for a second.
Oh, God. I don't buy it for a second. Oh, God.
I don't buy it either.
I didn't know he had a thing for munchkin faces.
Gigi only has eyes for homosexual men with huge noses.
Yeah, and Paul's only got eyes for brontosaurus steaks.
Yeah.
Well, maybe Gigi wants to sort of, like, go into the realm of back hair extensions.
What would Reza say about this?
Oh, my God. go into the realm of back hair extensions. What would Reza say about this? I'm like, I gotta warm up.
I haven't done it in a while.
That's so Persian.
Oh my god, homegirl is like
totally dating a plastic surgeon?
That is so Persian.
White girls like to date actors,
but Persians like to date plastic surgeons
and realtors.
Oh my god, Homegirl has to get it right.
Now give me a
crumbly cookie.
The other
gossip from Beverly Hills was
that Marissa isn't coming back.
I know that's a shocker.
Didn't we make that weeks ago?
She made such an impact.
I just gave a huge interview, you guys,
and she is not coming back.
All right.
Spread the word.
What do you think?
What do you think?
Nobody cares because she is so boring.
And the only person that we're going to miss from her clan is her crazy-ass mother.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, one of her quotes – well, actually it's not a quote because I'm not quoting her.
But something she said in it was – she's like, oh, I've never really cared about reality TV.
Something she said in it was – she's like, oh, I've never really cared about reality TV.
I mean Selling LA and Beverly Hills and Million Dollar Listing LA all came after me.
OK.
When was she on Million Dollar Listing LA?
I don't remember that.
I've watched her on Selling LA.
I don't remember at all.
Guess what?
Nobody cares.
Who even read that stupid article that she put out?
Nobody cares.
Michael Cook did. That's who we love michael yeah michael probably wrote it yeah michael hey michael he's doing your
tricks headlines he'll be like what did marissa zanuck say that could change the game forever
click marissa zanuck's not coming back to us. I love those headlines.
Someone lost their leg on the Real Housewives of New Jersey.
Who is it?
Teresa didn't eat her leg of lamb.
It's like, oh, my God, you tricky little bastards.
I clicked on that because I trusted in you, Michael Cook.
Yeah, don't trust him.
Don't trust him.
One other thing before we move on,
because we should probably move on here.
Realestocker, which is one of my favorite real estate blogs,
is fascinating.
And they are saying that Lydia,
the new addition to the Real Housewives of Orange County,
rented her house about a month
before shooting began on the current season
in Dana Point, where she's now neighbors with Alexis Bellino,
who also was renting her house that's on this show in Dana Point because it's closer to Lydia.
It's closer to the other females.
And actually Alexis lives in some other place called San something.
San Onofre?
I don't even know.
Probably Azusa.
San Luis Obispo?
San Clemente?
Probably Azusa with…
San Azusa. San Luis Obispo. San Clemente. Probably Azusa with – San Azusa.
San Azusa with Shanae, Shkane, Shkanectadee from Vanderpump Rules.
But anyway.
Shana, Shana, whatever.
So Lydia and Alexis are both frauds more so than we thought.
Neither of them paid cash for their houses and they both rented mansions to shoot the show.
I think that –
And they're both wives of entrepreneurs.
And they're both children of G.O.D.
We're getting to a point where this is...
I mean, it's too effed up.
Like, that is Vicky's house in Cota da Casa.
That is clearly Heather's monstrosity.
And clearly that's Gretchen's shack
in some nasty, dumpy neighborhood
adjacent to Vicky's neighborhood.
I do not like that these people can rent a house
for a season. I think it's messed up.
You know, it makes me admire
Lynn Curtin all the more because
she at least had the
balls to let her eviction play out
on camera and all her fraudulent
ways just play out for
all of us to take in. I don't know why they ever got rid
of her and thank you to whoever put the
cuff love up.
Did you not love
our cover photo
on Facebook
that I posted
from Lynn Curtin's
designer bedazzled
Jesus Florida Lee Cuffs?
You know what?
I really loved it
because I actually
had to drive through
Orange County
last week.
For what?
I had to meet a friend
down in Oceanside
which meant I had to
That is no friend of yours.
Oceanside?
Did you go to another goddamn brunch?
No, no, no.
It's no brunch.
But anyway, I had to drive through Orange County.
No, no, no.
Look, Ronnie, do you hear Ben like icing over this?
Who are you going to see, bitch?
I saw my friend.
Which one?
What friend?
Does he play for the Dallas Cowboys
no it was my friend and his
boyfriend and we had a lovely
dinner you expanded your grinder search
you got sick of all the boys in the hood
listen do you think I would ever expand
my grinder search to include anything from
Orange County oh snap
desperate times
there should be a sequel to boys in the hood
boys in the hood 2 but it should be a gay to Boys in the Hood. Boys in the Hood 2, but it should be a gay straight-to-DVD movie about Grindr.
And shit, at least in the OC, you never have jobs, unlike our damn neighborhood.
I don't think that's—
Okay, they'll be working at a t-shirt shop.
I'll take a t-shirt shop over a non-working actor, thank you very much.
Me too.
Get out of Starbucks, loser.
I can't tell you how many OkCid dates i have been on and it's
been like oh yeah i'm an actor slash i don't work yeah i once had a date with a guy who was like a
actor model waiter wannabe singer just anything that was like potentially creative he was at
fashion designer it's rough going out there it is you guys because we're doing this podcast right now
i just got an email from guess who fresh and easy oh i did free taco shells this friday
plus special coupons coupons are delicious i can't wait to make some tacos in my living room
that's been designed to look like Inja. Inja?
Will you be inviting Sharon Lawrence?
Or not Sharon Lawrence, Sharon Osbourne.
I'll be inviting Sharon Lawrence as well because I enjoy my NYPD blue.
Okay, two quick things.
Jacqueline Lareda is saying that she was the victim of a break-in.
This is also coming when Jack can't be paying her mortgage and I sense a fraudulent insurance claim looking to that police.
And the other piece is –
For all of the policemen that are listening to our show right now.
You know there's got to be some.
There are gay people everywhere.
Look at the NBA.
There are in the NBA and on the police force.
Yeah. Now, Sonia Morgan is reportedly dating a 23-year-old real estate guy in New York named something.
Sorry.
I'm sorry to be racist.
Is it E-Bong?
It's totally E-Bong from The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C.
Didn't someone post that on our Facebook page?
Yes.
They saw Linda.
That's her name, right?
Linda? No, they didn't just see Linda on our Facebook page? Yes. They saw Linda. That's her name, right? Linda?
No, they didn't just see Linda on the side of the road.
They went to Linda's agency in D.C. and knocked on the door and said, hi, I'm a fan.
Can I take a photo?
And Linda, being super crazy, was like, yes, come on in and take a photo with me.
Why not?
Yeah, why not?
What else is she doing?
I mean, I have a hard time believing the modeling industry in D.C. is taking up that much of our time.
Hey, hey, hey.
I'm from D.C.
There are models there.
Yeah.
Models like here's a model of the White House.
Ouch.
Zing.
This is from the guy who posted a photo of my Mad Men lookalike where I am dumpy with bad hair and wearing an ugly tie.
Thanks, Ben.
Listen, it was because – no, I had to do it to defend your honor because someone else said, oh, this is who Ben was talking about and posted a picture of someone way worse.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.
Besides, it was the 60s, Matt.
Everyone had floppy hair.
Your hair doesn't look like that right now.
I'm going to get a fade tomorrow.
I'm very excited. Well, you know what? everyone should go to matt's instagram to see what he
really looks like oh my god by the way a lot of new followers and it's kind of creepy but i'm
gonna stick with it i haven't really gotten any new followers but i do want to point out um it's
because you're taking too many photos of the golden gate bridge and not enough selfless shirt shirtless selfies come on i don't do shirtless selfies i have i have the body of some god
forsaken lump of clothes in the back of ross dress for less thrown on the floor yeah because that's
the only kind that's in the back of ross yeah people just throw that shit on the floor yeah
and by the way speaking of that i want to give a shout out to um roland poland uh
who took a picture all the way from australia of uh all sorts of housewives junk which was one thing
was a um eiffel tower it was hilarious it's like an eye it's a picture of like an eiffel tower
that's like superimposed onto a letter that says like my dear friend it makes no sense but it's
classic rossi and then there's also a little classic ross there's a little thing that says like friends and good food on the board and good wine and the pictures
we shall we live it's like weird it's again classic rossi you've got to see it makes sense
and then a little um it looks like it's a little mirror that has a frame that looks like paris
so we i appreciate that roland um so once again uh besides Roland Poland from Australia, you guys all need to follow us on Facebook.
Become a fan.
Get involved.
It's Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens.
We are getting so much original artwork as well.
There's a guy named Yaroslav.
I don't know who you are, but you keep posting scary pictures of Lydia's horse mouth that have given me nightmares for weeks, and I love it.
And I have to give a shout-out also to Heather Evans because she put up a screen cap of one of Gretchen Rossi's tweets.
This is hilarious.
Someone named Cortland Miller asked Gretchen,
Hey, where did you get the turquoise starfish necklace you wear in the first two episodes?
And Gretchen writes back, TJ Maxx, actually.
No, she did not.
She did.
And on top of that, she misspelled it.
She wrote –
You need to stop.
I need a moment of silence for this.
You are kidding me.
I am not.
Gretchen wrote it and she wrote it wrong.
She wrote TG Maxx.
That's like the TJ Maxx version of TJ Maxx.
That's even more discount.
Yeah.
That is the leftovers from TJ Maxx where they ship ship it off to where Ross won't even buy it.
It's like the Mexican piñata candy of discount stores.
Oh, my God.
That is crazy.
T.J. Maxx.
That's hilarious.
I'm looking through a few things on Facebook right now.
Ben, did you see that Jesus posted something about Dr. Simone's nephew being your boyfriend?
Yeah, and he's hot, Dr.
Simone's nephew.
Is that who you're visiting in Riverside?
Ugh, I wish. No,
that picture, to me, that
confirmed everything I was saying. Look, he's
like a young Donald Glover.
You guys, I can't find the parts that's posted from
other people. Where's that?
Ben and I revoked your access.
Sorry, honey. Yeah. Oh, God, I got fired
at a date.
You did? Well, should we move on to Orange County?
Yes. We're not even drunk
this week. We have no excuse for this
mess. Well, except we've been actually talking about Bravo.
Oh, my God. There's a tweet
from Gretchen Rossi. What a...
She is such a trash bag.
She's... As Vicky would say,
she's stupid. She's stupid. Vicky would say, she's stupid.
She's stupid.
Vicky just cuts to the chase.
I love that.
Okay, let's talk housewives.
She's a stupid person.
I took a full on page of notes.
So I'm just going to ramble through and I'll have you guys talk about something. So someone has to die, Matt?
Is that what you're telling me?
So someone has to die before you can read your notes?
Unless somebody's dead or chained to a fence.
I have to slip my wrists.
I have to slip my wrists. I have to slip my wrists.
Okay, let's talk about this.
Was Alexis being bullied or not?
Lydia, who is an Alexis ally, even says she was not being bullied.
She was not being bullied.
Yes, Alexis was being bullied.
Yes, she was being bullied.
Listen, just because you are, like, you're in an argument with people and you're outnumbered does not mean you're being bullied.
It just means that you are outnumbered.
That is all.
That was three girls being mean to her on purpose.
No one made any effort.
And then they all start, like, Tamara purposely started shit with her at that party.
Like, she didn't even let her be nice.
She was trying to be nice.
Here's where it becomes bullying.
Ben, here's what's happening. Ronnie and I
are defending Alexis, and you need to deal with it.
You guys are such bullies.
Okay, well then, what did you guys think?
I am the spokeswoman for Skyzone, okay?
And I am like a trampoline.
Whatever you say bounces off me and hits you.
I thought you were about to say Shari's Barry's.
Shari's Barry's.
Here's why it's not bullying.
Okay.
It would have been bullying if the three of them were sitting there just truly like taunting her, you know.
They were.
No, no, no.
They were being mean.
They were being mean for sure.
But they were being mean and they were ganging up in their arguments.
They were not being like, look at your stupid face.
You're just a stupid face.
You're ugly.
You're ugly.
Why don't you go home?
Why don't you die?
That's bullying.
They were because – It doesn't always bullying they were because how you look gretchen was making little comments every time alexis said anything um she was making little she was being a bitch she wasn't i think it's i
think there's actually subtlety here you know like making comments not to alexis but to everybody
else like mocking alexis tamra was openly mocking her when she was just trying to be nice.
Heather wasn't really, but she was.
Tamara wasn't mocking.
Tamara was just being a bitch.
I know that sounds like the same thing.
That is not doing what Tamara did justice.
She was beyond disgusting.
Oh, she certainly was.
She was a hideous human being.
But I still don't think that it was bullying. I really don't. I really and I actually agree with Heather and other people who say that for people to hide behind this bullying thing, it really cheapens the people who truly are being bullied.
Oh, OK. Look, I'm sorry here, but we're three homos, so we're allowed to talk about this for real.
I'm not gay.
I don't think – OK.
That's why you were visiting a boyfriend in Rancho Cucamonga last week.
OK.
I'm sorry.
But just because bullying got popular a few years ago and because Glee made it all about gay people getting bullied.
I don't want to talk about it.
Other people are bullied, and bullying doesn't always just have to be about the way somebody looks or somebody's sexuality.
It can be about three people being an asshole and attacking another person.
I don't know.
I get what people – I get what Ben's saying because it should be reserved for people who really get it bad in life.
And Alexis is some little rich twit.
People don't want her.
That is true.
I think that is true.
I give in.
I'm not going to fight this battle for her.
I will say that there is definitely some shades of gray here.
I think in Costa Rica, she was definitely not being bullied.
I think they were trying to give her constructive criticism.
This time around, they for sure were meaner and they were bitchier.
And they were writing that line.
And you could make an argument that they were bullying, but I think it was still a shade less.
I still do. I still think it's a shade
are you reading 50 shades of gray because everything is getting shady up in your speech
you know like bullying there are many other times that you can use the word shade well i feel like
i need to clarify i do feel like alexis has been bullied but i completely approve of the bullying
and i hope that they chain her to offense. Because sometimes there are people who deserve it, and Alexis is one of those people.
My God.
Pearls have been clutched again.
So I would say let's – I would bully – if she put up a Trevor Project video about being bullied, I would leave hate comments on it.
Like that's how I feel about her. I just spit onto my computer. she put up a Trevor Project video about being bullied, I would leave hate comments on it.
Like, that's how I feel about her.
I just spit onto my computer. I would like her and Kelly Ben Simone to have a roundtable discussion about bullying and
what it means to them.
Do you know who I would like to be bullied?
Heather, because I hate her guts.
And Gretchen, because I hate her guts even more.
Well, Heather's skating on thin ice messing with Tamara.
Tamara almost beat her with a chicken.
Okay, how funny was that?
So Heather then defends Vicky by saying, you know, Tamara, you were being disgusting and you were, like, using too many curse words and you told Vicky that she could fuck off too.
And then Tamara lashes out like a psychopath that we know she is.
And then Tamara's about to cut Heather's throat. throat well i i personally like that tamra's like what you want to get thrown out too as if like to be thrown out of this party held in a giant garage is like the biggest shame in the world
like oh no heather you might miss out on hearing some echoey conversation in an office park this
is not like getting thrown out of the oscars this is getting thrown out of an empty warehouse
i had put on toothpicks to dip into that honey ramp.
Like, I really love what Tamara's holding over these women.
And then Vicky and Gretchen.
Hold on.
Because Heather wasn't saying, oh, you were being so mean. She was kissing Tamara's ass.
But Tamara was so mad that she almost kicked her out.
Because she was just saying, well, at least Vicky was showing that she was on your side.
Right.
Tamara can't even see through the hate because she was so blinded by her craziness.
Tamara's that crazy bitch in school that everybody hates but everybody follows because they're afraid of getting beat up by her.
Which makes her the queen of the mean girls.
Exactly.
Exactly.
I also liked, by the way, the sub-argument that started with –
Between Vicky and Gretchen?
Yeah.
Where Vicky is going, I'm not scared of you, and Gretchen just goes, stupid.
Yeah.
Stupid.
You're stupid.
I'm saying you're a stupid person.
You're stupid.
Oh, really?
Really.
Oh, you sure told me.
Yeah, I did.
Wow.
You two, debate club.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, Lydia's like, oh.
Oh, fighting. Yeah, meanwhile, Lydia's like, I don't have it in me to laugh.
Speaking of Lydia, she went outside to try and comfort alexis but vicky
stayed inside because vicky is pretending that you know she's trying to play both sides of this
slash she needs to get to the bottom of all the drama um and this is when the two best quotes of
the season um were delivered by alexis where she, I had to go on Xanax for it,
Lydia, followed by, I should just go home and slit my wrists.
No, no. Well, she didn't say just, I have to go home and slit my wrists. Lydia was saying,
listen, for you to say this is bullying, people die. There are people who are dying because of
bullying. You're sort of cheapening it. So then Alexis turns it around and says,
so someone has to die someone has to die for to
to realize these women are bullying me i have to slit my wrists okay that's where i've decided um
she's not being bullied and she should just be slapped upside the face i just when she said so
someone has to die that was i i lost it and the xanax thing you know she probably was not on xanax
she probably was eating you know lifesavers she probably was eating, you know, Lifesavers.
She was probably eating Tic Tacs and or Flintstones vitamins.
Someone probably fed her like some like Hanukkah gelt.
And she's like, oh, well, this is from a Jewish person.
So it must be medication.
Like all those doctors.
You're all doctors except for you, a Bravo podcaster.
Your mom is so proud my my other favorite quote was um
was when vicky and alexis and and lydia were riding home and vicky was rehashing the whole
baby thing that gretchen was like is it your baby and because i so stupid to say that and then she's
like i'm gonna love on that baby to the day i I die. Can I tell you that one of my notes here that I actually took notes while I watched this was, quote, love on him.
And then next to that, I have dash Vicky.
And then I have next to that in all caps.
Stop at exclamation point.
I cannot handle when you keep saying love on him.
She has to write an R&B song immediately, like team up with Genuine or something. I'm gonna love on that baby
till the day I die.
Hey, can we talk about Vicky's face?
I know we've talked about it a lot.
We don't have to do it for the whole show.
Yeah, why not?
Every time I see her,
I don't think she looks that different.
But then when they show flashbacks,
I was gonna say, it looks totally different. then when they show flashbacks i was gonna say oh my god i'm so her with brianna to get the surgery and i was like that is a
different woman oh my god this was i was i'm so glad you brought that up because when i was
watching the show i was like this is like this is like the this is your life of vicky's face you
know it was like 50 shades of vicky's face they brought back like a flashback from every season
somehow they worked it in in this one episode they had a better face from season one they had it from like
season four season five then they had her amazing like then they had her pull out a photo album
where she's showing brianna about giving birth and they showed her cut up vag while she was giving
um a c-section and then then you see vicky's face from the 80s which is completely different from
the vicky from season one.
It was honestly like the most wonderful display of plastic surgery.
By the way, did we need to see that photo of the C-section?
I was trying to eat my dinner.
You know, I actually happened to be looking down and I looked up at the last second and it like went away.
And I was like, you know what?
I'm not going to go back to see what that red splotch was. I was delivered via-section and i i just don't know why women have
children i don't get it i don't either i think we should just let the human race die out the reason
why they have children proof of that i know stassi is the proof of that i know um okay i need i have
a few more things that i need to touch here okay when they went back inside and tamra is still
ranting like a psychopath she snaps at Vicky and she goes, so what?
Now you're team Alexis?
And it just makes me think that she's a complete hypocrite because, you know, Tamara was the one who was always so evil to Gretchen.
But now they're best friends.
Do these two dummies not see that they are doing exactly what they hate about Vicky and Alexis?
That would require some sort of personal introspection or perspective or critical analysis or something like that that they clearly don't have.
Like pretty much the most that they can do is randomly recall this one little argument in San Francisco where Alexis got mad at Vicky.
Like from three seasons ago, all of a sudden they keep trotting this thing out as if it was a seminal moment in all their lives, a seminal moment of bullying.
That's all that they can do.
That's all Gretchen can do.
Is that the scene where they just keep showing Breanne like shoveling a Caesar salad down her gullet?
Yes.
OK.
She's going to love on that salad the day she dies.
That's the next tank top I need made by Bravo TV.
She's going to love on that Caesar salad.
So do you guys, did you guys think it was interesting that Vicky's family came in town
and her brother said exactly what I've been saying for the past three weeks?
What is that?
The brother said a lot of things.
Brother's like, oh, the refrigerator's moldy.
That must mean that Don's out of town.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
He sounds like he also smokes four cartons of cigarettes and sits by a NASCAR all day.
So add a little more twang and some more smoke to that.
He's like, where's Don at?
He's like, where's Don?
He used to hold this hole in my throat for me so I could talk.
By the way, I'm seeing too many commercials of that dead smoker lady with the hole in her throat on TV.
It grosses me out.
Soon to be played by Park overall in a TV movie, I'm sure.
I would rather see, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, I would rather see the commercials of the dead dogs with Sarah McLachlan's angel playing in the background than I would of the old dead lady with the neck hole.
Oh, yeah.
I hate that lady.
Me too.
Rest in peace.
that lady me too you know what how come when our dog loses a leg the doctor's like put it down but when an old 70 year old lady with the hole in her throat is on a commercial everyone's like let's
find a way to keep her alive hey listen you guys if i ever have a hole in my throat and i'm 70
just fucking kill me pour something down that hole pour some drink pour some drain okay whoever one of our users likes to post the favorite i love when she
does the podcast i love that i'm sorry that is taking the cake right now i mean we're only like
an hour into this but pour some drano down my hole is is up there ronnie i'm not gonna lie
yeah that's a great that's a great moment and it's almost it's almost as good as you saying
last week um like something about the brand
is nice you said you said what brand you said what flavor are you drinking i'm drinking becks
and then ronnie quietly said that's not a that's a brand not a flavor well yeah you guys were drunk
i mean i was just embarrassed for you guys last week i love whoever i'm looking it up i forgot
her name i think her name might be emily but she always writes down her favorite quotes and i love
it because it makes me feel like we're actually funny.
I love the quotes.
I love the quotes.
Okay, I have a few more things to talk about.
Wait, I'm not done with the brother because I didn't say what he agreed with me.
He agreed with me on that whole, well, I don't like this kid coming in here and telling you how you're going to live in your own house just because he pays you a little rent every month.
And then we find out, which is what I've been saying, like, fuck that guy.
He doesn't come in and tell Vicky who she can and can't date i agree yes he does no i agree when he said he put
up the cameras i thought that was actually fucked up oh my god that is truly fucked up you cannot do
that in someone else's house go put the cameras and then sit there and watch them in their own
home excuse me by saying this you guys you're essentially defending Brooks, who is disgusting. I'm not defending Brooks. I'm defending Vicky's propriety.
Look, Vicky is a—
I'm defending Vicky's right to date scuzz bags. I mean, listen, I've got plenty of them. I don't want anybody coming in and talking to me.
Even Tamara finally has the right attitude, which is like, you know what? If this guy's going to be a gold digger or whatever, Vicky's got to learn that the hard way now.
I learned that the hard way now.
Okay.
If Vicky is going to learn the hard way and if Vicky is going to be a 50 year old clown with a chin implant, then she should be able to tell her daughter, Brianne, you're not allowed to have your husband talk to me this way.
And this shit is not going to fly in my house. But until Vicky has that conversation with Brianna, nothing is going to change.
And my whole thing is if Brianna is going to live in that house with her husband and her baby and that is the deal she made with Vicky. Vicky needs to shut the fuck up or kick them out.
You know what? I don't understand why Brianna
should have just moved to the fucking
lake house that she fought for so hard
that meant that Vicky couldn't get a
yacht that one season. No, Vicky should have a
spin-off where she summers
in Lake Havasu by going down a
lazy river and drinking beer out of a koozie.
Yeah, she should reenact Heart of Darkness, except
instead of going into Congo,
she's going to Lake Havasu on a boat.
Because that's honestly, that's probably
ten times worse than going
on that boat down into the Congo.
I would like to see Vicky have a spinoff
with her family. They're hilarious. What was with
her mom? Oh yeah, the mom was hilarious.
I can't believe they put me
in jail.
All I did was hit a cop in the face with a baseball bat what the hell she comes from they come from a classy family
they do wait can we yeah can we talk for a second about uh gretchen's uh great gatsby is someone on
our on our page called like a great gatsby hat, whatever. The ridiculous outfit she was wearing to do her, to clean up her
house. Wait, are you talking about Alexis?
Alexis. I meant
Alexis. Her headscarf
with her matching bedazzled sandal.
Her Zelda, her
Zelda Buchanan
look. And of course if you said like
wow, you're dressed like Zelda, she'd be like, I don't play
video games.
She is such a moron. Oh my god. god okay um few other things here that were revealed did you guys know
when uh this is when vicky is talking to brianna at the at the kitchen table while they decided to
eat an entire deep dish pizza and a salad with lots of stuff on top of it i'm always fascinated
by what next next is next to the iconic cal sign. The iconic Caliente sign and the ceramic big-ass chicken rooster on the marble island.
So classic.
So in addition to seeing Vicky's guts during her C-section, we also found out that Vicky cannot sit down and have dinner until she fixes the crooked chair in the dining room because she has OCD just like me, and I totally get that.
But then we also found out that she bought her own first and second wedding rings.
From DJ Maxx also.
But how funny was that that Brianna was just like,
heh heh, that sucks.
So Vicky was having an emotional moment.
Brianna's openly mocking her.
Yeah, Brianna's laughing and staring down that pepperoni pizza.
Yeah, she's like, Mom, we've been talking for 10
minutes. Our pizza's getting cold.
Meanwhile, Brianna's got like five
diamond rings on one finger.
Hey, maybe that's why we're
over budget in the military. How the hell is
that military guy
getting all those damn rings?
And I'm like, she's complaining about that baby having
diarrhea, and I'm like, you're to eat a deep dish Little Caesar's pizza.
Good luck, bitch.
You're going to be on the pot with that baby.
Well, you know what?
I hope that Brianna's sex drive is dead and she never plans on cheating because he's going to catch her and he's going to kill her.
Yeah.
He's like, it's like sleeping with the enemy.
Totally.
He's like a guy from a Lifetime movie.
You're like, oh, he's so, he works a lifetime movie you're like oh he's so he
works out he's soft-spoken he's a good southern boy this is great and then a couple years down
the line you're like why is why is he in the parking lot at work like he's just sitting there
for hours well it is it's a class and billy campbell is going to play him in the lifetime
movie network uh version of this and jamie lunar will play brianna it's perfect and vicky and vicky i love her and vicky
will play herself and uh she will save
her daughter ultimately by bashing in
billy campbell's head with of course the
caliente sign and then he's gonna get
back up she's gonna think he's dead and
he's gonna get back up and chase her to
the garage and then she's gonna close
the garage on his head to like finally
kill him but then he'll get back up again and she'll have to finally stab him with a fleur-de-lis cookie jar.
You see her in the middle of the night like sharpening the fleur-de-lis atop that cookie jar because you know she's going to need it as a weapon.
But then she's going to think he's dead.
But what will happen is at the end of the movie, he's going to crawl over to the neighbor's house and it'll be Gina Keough.
And she's going to take him in and be like, no, Vicky.
No, Vicky.
You know, she's just not very nice.
No, I'll take you in.
She's not nice.
She's not nice.
This is your fault.
I'll take you in.
I'll take you in.
Frank, you moved out.
You can move in here.
Oh, my God.
Hilarious.
OK.
A few other things.
And then he'll move out of there because he's like, well, I can't deal with Gina.
Then we had that horrible little like 40 second segment of Colette screaming in the back of Heather's car.
And it made all the sperm in my body that is yet to be produced curl up and die.
But you know what?
That was such a good scene to demonstrate what assholes kids are.
Because that kid is screaming in the back seat and she's like, say tree.
She's like, meh.
Say slide. Meh. Say house. Meh. Say dad-dad. kid is screaming in the back seat and she's like say tree she's like say slide say house
say dad dad little bitch well isn't that the famous like bill cosby thing that carlos mencia
then plagiarized where it's like like the dad like the dad plays catch with the kid the dad
takes him on his first bike ride the dad teaches him how to shade the dad does this the dad does
that and the kid finally graduates from college he goes i want to thank my mama um is
i don't really follow too many beaners is carlos mencia a beaner
we have to talk about that i could not believe that tamra said that about eddie
yeah that was shocking slash it's tamra so I totally can believe it. I'm actually, call me crazy,
I'm not familiar with the term
beaner as an epithet. I'm assuming
it's a derogatory term for Mexicans?
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You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey.
And I'm Conscious Lee.
What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that.
Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less
In August 1492,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some. As a
fighter for black rights, she is a
villain to others. Follow Black History
for Real on the Wondery app or wherever
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Black is beautiful.
Good call.
Ronnie, isn't it?
Of course. Hello. You guys have never
heard the term beaner? It's like...
You're our resident...
I'm not racist, so I don't know.
Because I'm from El Paso. Exactly. So that's why I'm asking. I'm not racist, so I don't know. Because I'm from El Paso.
Exactly.
So that's why I'm asking.
I'm passing this off to you.
In addition to asking you how to properly pronounce Guacamole.
Well, I ran into, I was in this thing this weekend called the Puppet Parade, the Million Puppet March.
Yeah, what was that about, by the way?
I saw the photo that you posted.
What was that?
Where did you march?
And I was mortified for you.
What was that?
It was Lisa Vanderpump on a float with Stassi
in this book? Oh my god.
Well, no. My friend Michael
made this Facebook page called
The Million Muppet March after
Robby. Is Michael
the one that you posted that random Instagram photo
of that I'm in love with?
What was it of?
Some hot dude wearing shorts outside of your house.
Oh, no, that's my neighbor Brian.
He's cute, right?
You could date him.
What's the deal with that one?
He lives next door.
He is Bueller's auntie.
He takes care of Bueller a lot.
If you called him an auntie,
I'm assuming he's a homosexual.
Yeah, he takes care of Bueller.
He's like Bueller's other daddy.
He's really nice.
I'll hook you up. Okay. He's not very manly, though. I'm going to tell you that right now. He's care of Bueller. He's like Bueller's other daddy. He's really nice. I'll hook you up.
Okay.
He's not very manly, though.
I'm going to tell you that right now.
He's kind of girly.
Do you like a man?
Well, you like him.
Lamey, right?
Wait, is he a lady?
No, but he's not.
You know, like, I like Walker Texas Ranger.
You want to bone Chuck Norris?
Well, just that kind of guy.
Like, a guy who's like, hey, I want you to make me some
cornbread while I'm out in the field collecting money. Well, then I think you better go back to
Texas because that's not happening in West Hollywood. I know. Yeah, so far. So anyway,
I was in this puppet thing and I ran into somebody from high school and he's Mexican. And we were
just talking about high school and stuff and we said
the word beaner i think 10 times and my friend was totally offended and i was like it's different
when you come from el paso because we're all mexican like whether you want to be or not you
know but well you're ethnically you're ethnically ambiguous yeah well beaner is basically a way it's
like the polite person's way of saying spec like you're just you're not supposed to say but what does but what does beaner stand for does that mean like i want some beans
and a taco yeah just just because mexicans eat a lot of beans i don't know it's not the most
creative you know well then why don't you just call them like guardi because they're all gardeners
well we're not that racist yeah i mean yeah you're, you're just mean. You're just being mean now.
You're just being totally ignorant now.
How do you just call them dollar store?
Yeah, I don't know.
I mean, there's lots of different ways.
And trust me, what they call us is way worse.
What do they call us?
Well, wait, you're Armenian.
I'm not Armenian.
He's Persian.
I'm kidding.
Not Persian. I would not be living He's Persian. He's Persian. I'm kidding. Not Persian.
I would not be living in such squalor if I was pregnant.
You'd be living in MJ's palace right across the street from Ben's apartment.
Oh, God.
Sleeping in a Hummer limo.
Wait.
Passed out.
With Xanax all over because she's been bullied so much.
Xanax all over more like little baby hamburgers all over. Sliders made of
Xanax. Xanax sliders.
What do they call white people?
Gringos.
Gringo.
Why is that bad?
Well, to them it's bad. I mean, to us
it doesn't sound bad. Okay, well, what would
Eddie call Tamara? Bitch.
Puta. Or girlfriend.
He probably would call her girlfriend because he's a homosexual.
He would probably call her, I don't know how you say the bank in Spanish, but he'd probably call her the bank because she's bringing in some money.
Speaking of narrow-
You should call her the wig.
How do you say wig in Spanish?
Los wigos.
Speaking of narrow-mindedness, how about Vicky's family that's like, yeah, there are not a lot of eligible guys out here in California. They're all kind of feminine. They're all kind of gay.
Not gay.
It's like, what? And then they call that Eddie. They're like, you know, like Eddie.
wearing a trashy like you know that has that's written by like affliction or monarchy with like a bedazzled florida lean nascar on the back of it you piece of white trash kidding and he probably
stopped at every truck stop on the drive over and took a shower just hoping to get a little secret
bj yeah exactly i mean i mean unless i mean category expert i mean listen if they're gonna
be casting stones for you to be casting stones i mean let's not look too much farther than Vicky's sister there who looks like she might have been a fan of Martina Navratilova.
I am a fan of Martina Navratilova.
Why do you call Martina Navratilova?
I think that's the whitest thing you've ever said.
And she's white.
That's a white name.
Navratilova?
How do you say it?
Navratilova. No, Navratilova. Navratilova. And she's white. That's a white name. Navratilova? How do you say it? Navratilova.
No, Navratilova. Navratilova.
I guess it is. I just never say it out loud. I just usually say that
Dyke who plays tennis.
Oh, I'm going to stab you with
a tennis racket.
You guys, that's just the kind of mood
I'm in today. I'm still in bed, okay?
It's like five-something.
You are still in bed? I am sitting
in an office building in Santa Monica.
I'm sitting in an office building in Santa Monica
and it took me two hours to drive home from work.
He's just trying to stave off all those effeminate
guys that are outside.
Yeah, I'm not going outside because there's just beaners
and queers. That's what
California is. Yeah, exactly.
My mom used to say the land of fruit and nuts,
but we'll switch it to beaners and queers.
That's fine.
Oh, my God.
I wish there was a beaner queer around here for me.
Don't you love that my mom used to call it the land of fruit and nuts?
She's so kind.
So kind.
You should get her some Shari's Berries.
Guess what?
I'm going to get a double dose because for an extra $10, you can get some extra ones.
Just make sure you don't get confused and send her the Dollar Shave Club for men.
Fuck Mother's Day.
I'm depressed.
I'm going to send my mom a card that says thanks.
Thanks a lot.
You know what?
For all you single people out there, by the way, that were feeling depressed on Valentine's Day like myself, you should send yourself, instead of sending your mother a gift, you should send yourself some Sherry's Berries.
Give it up. They've already listened to 20 minutes of those ads.
Okay, listen.
Can we move on?
Now, before we move on to the next show,
we have a news break.
Breaking news alert.
This came in 14 minutes ago
while we were yammering on about fleur-de-lis
and various racial epithets. Oh my god, I see it. This came in from Amy M while we were yammering on about Fleur de Lis and various racial epithets.
Oh my god, I see it.
This came in from Amy Mabry Cundiff.
And the headline is from Media Takeout.
Exclusive.
They faked it.
Cordell and Portia from the Atlanta Housewives faked their divorce.
They have heard.
So now the article says,
From an impeccable source,
that Portia and Cordell do not plan on getting divorced. Further, they say that they never
planned on getting divorced. And then this insider said Portia found out that she was not going to
come back on the show, and both her and her husband Cordell desperately wanted to stay on
The Housewives. That's why they concocted this scheme. So the insider said they figured if they created a fake divorce like Nene did, it'd be enough
drama for them to be asked back.
So Mediatakeout.com confirmed this with a Bravo exec that Portia was officially dropped
from the cast and that once Cordell filed for divorce, both Cordell and Portia were
asked back.
What?
Okay. I don't believe that Portia was ever dropped from the show.
Why would you drop Portia?
She was so cute.
Please use her proper voice when speaking about her.
I'm a woman, and I care about marriage, and my man wants a piece of toast.
I'm going to toast that piece of bread.
I know I'm not perfect.
I never said I was perfect.
But give me credit for doing the best that I can.
I try 265 days a year to be perfect.
I want to be like y'all.
I come to y'all for advice.
And y'all tear me down.
You tear me down.
I'm like Rosa Parks.
That lady who got on that bus.
And she was like, I don't got money for no bus.
And he said, then you can't ride it.
And so she jumped on top of the bus and she rode it all the way downtown.
And that's why I always get on top of vehicles.
I get on top of moving vehicles to be like Rosa Parks.
Remind me to dust this episode off next February for Black History Month because this is a classic.
No, remember next year it's going to be Black History Year.
It's just going to get longer.
It's just going to get longer.
And then after that it's going to be Black History Decade.
Oh, my God.
I'm looking at myself for the first time today.
I think I gained weight overnight.
It's possible.
Okay. So, well, that was fake. Do you think that that was fake? I don't think it. I don't believe it.
Of course it was fake.
Can we please talk about the best show on TV, Married to Medicine?
Yay! That's a perfect segue.
Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb right now and say that Married to Medicine is my favorite show currently airing on Bravo.
And it is up there. It has surpassed Vanderpump Rules, and it is knocking on gallery girls door no no no nothing touches guy girls that's why i said it's knocking
on it's it's knocking on its door meaning knocking on amy's dusty old vagina it's it was it knocking
on end of century it's knocking on it wants to buy a lease there's a for lease sign there
it wants to buy a painting but unfortunately um what's her face is off in Paris being hipster.
Are you guys not obsessed with this show?
I'm obsessed.
I'm obsessed.
Oh, I am obsessed.
I am extremely, extremely obsessed.
I love it.
I think it's great.
Actually, you know what?
I posted my first and only Vine video the other day. And so, Ben, you're not going to be the only one with audio now because I made a Vine video of the best quotes
from the latest episode of Married to Medicine
that I'm trying to pull up on my phone right now.
Oh, my God.
I tried doing that, but I couldn't find a way to put text over the video.
Do you know how to do that?
No.
Are you kidding?
I just learned how to do my first Vine video.
Do you think I know how to add text?
Vine is not great.
Yeah, I was trying to get i was trying i got one i posted one on twitter of quad saying um yeah of quad saying her like we we if you ask
me we could all use a little bit of etiquette help or whatever i got that but i need a text
by the way while you guys look it up also thanks also thanks to Roland Poland for that great picture of Mariah in her flying saucer beret.
I'm the one who then posted it as our cover photo.
Fine, but Roland Poland found it first.
Whatever, Roland Poland.
God, Roland Poland, you're getting like an audio handjob.
Wait, could that be our new band name, Audio Handjob? I'm really...
I have to say, the, we all needed to go to an etiquette class or two was a great quote,
but my favorite quote of Quad's was later on when she goes,
are we in the hood or are we in Pups in Paris?
Oh, by the way...
It's hard to tell, quite frankly, sometimes.
Quad is the best thing happening on the show.
I love Quad.
No, I think Quad's best quote was,
the best thing happening. I love Quad.
I think Quad's best quote was, kicking and a knee
slapping, honey!
Kicking and a knee
slapping! Here we go. I'm playing
my Vine video. Can you hear the audio?
Okay, I'm going to try. It's playing right now.
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....................................... Low down, dirty scoundrel. Okay, if you can't hear that, what it says is it's Mariah going, it's not about the ooky, the spooky, the nooky, or the wookie.
And then it cuts to Quad going, you're a low down, dirty scoundrel.
I loved that when Mariah had to go to a different Halloween party that Bravo, and someone knows this on Facebook too, said, the Chiron said, some other Halloween party.
Wait, wait, wait.
That is my note here
there was nothing funnier in the history of bravo than when it said some other person's party
like whoever is working on this show is either like a intern that's like 18 years old that
doesn't give a fuck or they are a brilliant genius who's like, that is fucking funny. Well, let's go back
a little so people know what we're talking about because
you know everyone's not watching this show.
Yes, they are. The ratings are good.
There was a
big party at a dog store that
Quad was throwing. And there was also
a Halloween party. Yeah, it started with a Halloween party.
The ooky spooky Halloween party.
Toya's
ooky spooky Halloween party. Yeah, let's start with Toya. Toya's spooky Halloween party.
Yeah, let's start with Toya.
I'm having a Halloween.
I have came to this Halloween party so many times.
I invite the drug cazar to this party.
I love when women, they say they're going to get together to bake, are cutting.
They're not even cutting.
They're taking the pre-cut cookies off on the wall.
And she's like, oh, has pumpkin pumpkin designs on it oh and i love when she decided that she doesn't want to have
uh mariah at her party because they got in that fight so email that she concocts right it's an
email her husband's like she's like well what do i say in the email and her husband's like
you ain't fucking coming that That's what you say.
The email that she writes is like a rejection letter from Princeton.
It was hilarious.
Thank you for your consideration.
We've reviewed your case.
How awful is that?
Thank you for your consideration is more degrading than when anybody on the Real Housewives of New York calls you honey.
We would appreciate you have not come to the party at the house that is
our. We're gonna
we're going to disinvite you now
from our party and
for the foreseeable future you're not
allowed to come with any other kazars
or any things of the such and like.
I love that
Carrie showed up dressed like the cat woman like a slutty cat
woman of course oh my god but did you notice i'm such a bitch but she was wearing a top from
target i was like it's like the sportswear line from target that i would never be caught dead
she wearing clothes from target and and using an iphone 3gs i have struggled like she's not
that rich ben she might have struggled but Like, she's not that rich, Ben.
She might have struggled, but she has not struggled with shopping at Target for athletic
I have struggled with Halloween costumes for 20 years.
I have had a struggle with Catwoman in particular.
And I told Duncan that if I cannot find an appropriate Catwoman costume, I will go to
Target.
I have done this without the help of a party planner.
And that's just the way it's going to be.
It's a very personal struggle for me um she's ridiculous and i she her lips getting worse
because now her tongue is just randomly coming out at unscheduled times she doesn't even know
how far her tongue is coming out you can tell she can't tell what her mouth is even doing anymore
most people that have those squeezed around the neck sort of like bart simpson you know yes people that have
those injections their their lips are either incredibly puffy or they get wrinkled but hers
have you noticed on the upper lip there are two like projectiles yeah she got she got the lisa
rena implant i think she i think she tripped and fell on a cactus. It looks like there's two zits popping out of the top lip.
Yeah, because she got full school implants.
I have struggled with lip acne for the past 20 years.
It is a very private struggle, and I don't appreciate you making light of it.
Yeah.
It's like when you save up to buy a new MacBook, and then two weeks later, the new one comes out that's not exploding on people.
That's basically...
I've seen older ladies with facial
surgery because it's like if you had just
waited, you wouldn't
look like a pretty house.
I have implanted
my lip with MacBook technology
that has exploded.
Okay, what do you guys think
about Carrie and um buying that office
space and then trying to lure all of their cast members into buying some of the office space
um it's like it's like yet another sitcom yeah i think that was that that went into the territory
that i didn't care about like as much as i complain about them fighting if they're not
fighting i'm like why am i watching this yeah i didn't i didn't really care about the office
space either i have to say.
Yeah, I was like, I don't care.
But I did love the reaction of Dr. Simone.
Okay,
well, I'll just have to come
look at that one day, one time,
maybe someday.
Could you imagine if Dr. Simone were the landlady?
She'd be like, where's your rent?
Your light! Your light! Your light for your rent!
While she's eating
a cookie
out of a bag.
Can I just say that
it was another week in a row where she was the best
thing on the show. Love her. She's great.
She and Quad, I think, are just great.
Oh, no, Quad is the best. Can we please talk
about this puppy party?
I cannot deal because you know how much
shit we talk about Gretchen and
Vicky's housewares and how they are obsessed with faux Parisian accents.
My God,
this was a puppies in Paris party,
but this was actually so like above and beyond ridiculous.
It was like,
okay for me,
like quad,
you can see quad was like,
you know,
she's just like having fun.
She's like,
let's do something really silly for the dogs.
And let me give silly for the dog.
She was sitting in the back with a makeup artist artist getting her face put on before she went out to
listen clown makeup has never had such a boon as when the show has been in production
but um she's like no fighting until you write a check
no one's leaving till i get a check we are? We are walking down the box-a-lise.
I just made that up.
Or the bark-de-triumph thing.
Yeah.
I have to say, I hate Mariah, but I did crack up with her robotic dog.
When she put it down on the ground and it scurried along, I could not stop laughing.
I rewound it like five times to watch that little robot dog scamper away.
Why has somebody not made us a gif of the scampering robot dog?
Please, someone.
Now, speaking of vile things,
probably the most vile thing of the entire episode,
of the entire season,
was when Mariah turns to her little daughter Lauren,
her cute little innocent daughter,
and is like,
Honey?
Yeah, you do it, Rami.
You do it, Rami.
Now you tell her...
You ask her why we weren't at
her party. Go ahead and ask her
why you weren't allowed to come to
her party, baby.
That was not cool.
It felt like it was a moment out of Precious.
It was so disgusting.
You don't make your seven-year-old a pawn.
It was one of the worst things I think we've seen on Bravo, honestly.
Yeah, that was pretty bad.
At the same time, what do you have children for if not to use as pawns in your games?
That's true.
Or clean the bathroom.
That's true.
Yeah, that was semi-sad, but I love the answer because your mom is an asshole.
Yeah.
Your mom has been mean to me.
I have came here to be nice to your mom, but your mom was mean to me.
But I love when she tells us, I cannot believe that she would utilize her daughter in such fashionables.
What?
Learn to talk. All these women, before filming started, they all sat down with a thesaurus and tried to get like a few two and three syllable words that they could pepper into their confessionals.
And it's just not working.
Yeah.
She's like – I remember one time I heard an interview with I think Sugar Ray Leonard and he had just learned the word irrespective.
And he was like, well, this is what I know.
Irrespective of everything, irrespective of the game, I think this went very well, irrespective of what you might be saying.
I'm like, okay, you learned the word irrespective.
Congratulations, Sugar Ray Leonard.
I've always remembered that.
It's like I have came to that memory so many times.
Oh, my God.
Okay, so they kind of just had a calm little argument.
Neither one of them started beating the crap out of each other.
Boo!
Only because Mariah's ghetto mother was not there.
Yeah, exactly.
Plus, Mariah was probably distracted by the weight of her enormous beret on her head.
Yeah, that was, from beginning to end, that was a pretty embarrassing sight.
It looked like a giant piece of pepperoni from Cloudy a chance of meatballs had fallen on her head if that were the case brianna would have
been there to eat it up on top of a extra large pizza don't you mean lauren manzo they're like
what one of our one of our pepperonis got away bring it back to kafache
kicking and the knees are laughing honey is this the hood or Pops in Paris?
Wasn't she saying, like, if your dog bites me, I'm going to sue your mommy.
I'm going to sue your mommy. That was Mariah.
Yeah.
Gosh, she's just awful.
I liked her in the beginning of the season, and I hated Toya.
And now it's totally reversed.
It's all about quad.
Honey.
Quad is the best.
Honey.
Honey.
Honey.
So what else happened on that dumbass show?
That was it, right right there were the Halloween episodes
the eye shadow was out of control
Mariah's makeup artist is like
seriously should be working for RuPaul's Drag Race
did Dr. Jackie do anything
I think she's
she yelled at Dr. Simone for eating
a cookie out of a bag for lunch
cause she's that
boring well she's that boring.
Yeah.
Well, she's going to have a lemon squeeze next week.
But I think they're so funny.
I love those two together.
I could just listen to those two bitch at each other all day long, the two doctors.
Yeah, they're the best.
And they're obviously the smartest.
So let's move on because I think we're done with this show.
Guys, I did not watch The Queen of Versailles.
I wasn't sure that – I didn't realize that's something we're gonna be talking about this week on constant
loop i saw it in the movie theater last year but bravo bought the rights to it and it is the perfect
like segue in or out of any episode of the real housewives and they will be playing it non-stop
for the next five years yeah really good so if you guys have not watched that you should watch it i didn't watch it on bravo i watched a while ago on netflix so i won't go into too deep details
except to say that the maid sleeps in a dollhouse in the backyard but um watch that if you haven't
watched it and did you guys watch the real housewives of atlanta final final final final
episode 24 oh my god this show lasts for more than half a year oh my goodness i
know keeper sutherland would have finally been done with the terrorists in this episode i mean
honestly the show started airing four weeks before the latest episode of married to medicine
even started filming right oh no actually i'm sorry it started november 1st or something like that fucking crazy whatever but it was really it was really funny it was hilarious it was so good
ronnie didn't you think though that it made it seem like poor phaedra half of her season was
left on the cutting room floor because that hour was you know i would say 70 of the lost footage
was dedicated to phaedra and apollo yeah basically phaedra and apollo were much more
fun and nice but apparently phaedra just got the bitch out of the season which explains why she was
so pissed off at the end because they didn't show any of her fun stuff but i still think that phaedra
came off looking good this season so the fact that this season was the bitch at it is pretty crazy
well we liked her but she's she gets a lot of heat on the internet. That's why when Andy says,
so, Phaedra, did you enjoy the season?
She's like, no, not really. And she wasn't
even looking at him when she said, no.
Yeah.
Well, one of the, the show
opens with,
you know, and they actually did spend too much time on this,
but Andy opens up the show
discussing a rumor that was swirling around
because of something that Portia had said to Kenya or didn't say to Kenya.
And anyway, long story short, too late.
She was kind of suggesting that Cynthia and Nini had a bizarre relationship and that they were possibly a secret lesbian gay couple.
Whoa.
Yeah, which, I mean, that's not too far off.
But, I mean, who cares even if they are?
But it was funny watching Portia try and backtrack and make a huge deal out of it because she totally said it.
What else do you mean when you say that's unnatural?
I mean, what else could she have meant?
I hate when people use that word unnatural.
It makes me so mad.
Listen, I think if you're talking about anything that Portia says says it could have a lot of meanings because she usually used it incorrectly well what else happened in that matt other than
that i talked more about it but that's all i remember i blocked the rest of it out they talked
more about um kim and did you think that you know how long ago did she check out from the show okay
okay here's here's the thing i can remember. They showed a scene of Kim
with her daughter Brielle
Brielle, right?
sobbing because she's getting bullied at school
because Kim is such a fucking whore
on national TV that her kids are being tortured
in school, right?
And yes, there was
Chick-fil-A in the foreground.
And you feel bad for her because she shouldn't have to suffer just because her mom's a gigantic asshole.
But here's the crazy thing, Ronnie.
Then, you know, Croy starts to speak about, you know, how you got to let the haters go and all this kind of stuff.
And he was actually making some kind of sense.
But then Kim, being a dumbass that she is, just keeps chiming in and she keeps going, it's just because you're so damn cute.
My cute baby.
No, this is what Kim does, okay?
Kim looks totally bored that she even has to listen to her daughter sob.
And then she goes, oh, well, I understand.
Because it's like when Nini strangled me last year.
And she turns it into her and starts talking about how Nini abused her.
Like, really?
This is like the worst motherhood it's
this is the week of some really bad motherhood on bro you're allowed to compete with your friends
for this bullshit but when you're starting to compete with your 16 year old daughter it's
truly pathetic i'm surprised that kim didn't just say okay honey just stop stop crying we go chilies
and make it all better i'm surprised she didn't turn to the cameraman and go um let's cut this moving on um they also talked i mean you know cynthia can't get over the fact that she was she and
phaedra i guess the entire cast really but she and phaedra then you know putting a few more digs
against kim about how if they're you know gonna show up to work that kim should also be responsible
and have to show up as well and part of me gets that but the other part of me is like you know what kim and nini are the stars of this goddamn show and they're giving you all a
paycheck so if they don't fucking want to shoot one day shut the fuck up yeah yeah but see that
was my problem with kim the past couple years on atlanta she was never with the other women it's
like ronnie do you everything is about her trying to make her own damn excuse me and i don't like
watching nini in hollywood with her bullshit walking around a rented
home that's empty. I don't like that
either. I mean, you're part of a show. It's not
about you. It's about
y'all. It's not just
Kim doing that. NeNe is part of this issue.
Oh, NeNe's the worst.
NeNe's just so fucking typical.
It's like she knows she's an asshole, so she comes back and
fakes it the whole year so that people will think she's
nice. And sure enough, we're all so fucking stupid.
Everyone's like, I love NeNe.
Really?
Do you remember that she was a terrorist the past two years?
Well, they all have to look out because Kenya came on real strong this past season, and she's going to be the new star.
Even though she's terrible, she's going to be the new star.
Well, I don't know about that because now there's rumors floating.
Is Kenya getting booted from the show?
Is Phaedra getting booted from the show?
Is Portia getting booted from the show? I don't know what booted from the show is porsche getting booted from the show i don't know what's going to
happen i think that they're all going to come back and those rumors about kenya were silly
because they were based on her blog that was did we talk about this last week i don't remember
but her bravo blog was like saying goodbye to every woman individually but and people were
saying oh that means she's leaving it's like uh or it means that the season is over yeah the ratings are through the roof i actually don't think any of them are
going anywhere i think they're going to try to just insert one or two more people yeah i think
they'll probably bring on nini's cousins or whatever the hell yeah i think oh my god i think
that would be amazing because nini's cousins have been doing a twitter storm as of late, pretty much saying that Nene is a charade
and her whole divorce from Greg was just to get a spinoff
and to drive ratings and to get her a big fat paycheck,
and I kind of believe them.
I believe it too.
Bring it on.
Heffa, Heffa.
Speaking of Candy, Candy's kind of boring on the show,
but I watched her Candy Factory out of desperation last night.
And maybe that's why I'm depressed today.
I really need to get a life.
But I watched that Candy Factory show.
Oh, my God.
It was like a home remodeling show for children with no talent.
I say something about you, and it's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean?
Never gets old.
Never, never gets old.
I say something about you, and it's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean? never gets old never never gets old doesn't even make sense
see see riley
riley riley you're gonna sing? See, the way Mama sings is like...
Well, this is her own...
Okay, the most annoying thing about the Candy Factory
is that it's basically just an excuse for Candy to sing every episode.
Because she writes each kid a song,
and the demos are her singing these pop songs.
Right, which means she then puts them on iTunes,
and they still don't sell as well as Target for the Party.
Oh, shit.
By the way, Don Juan, her manager Don Juan,
tweeted at me this past week
because I said that I actually had one of the Candy Factory songs in my head
and I tweeted that.
And so he tweeted back at me.
He's like, oh, which one?
And I said, which one?
Whatever.
And then I said, you should have Candy come on our podcast
because we love her.
And he didn't write back.
Because then he listened to the podcast and then he heard you guys doing the voice of Riley, Mama Joyce and Candy.
And he was like, no.
I think Candy would.
Hey, you both got town.
The only one of you gets a chance to get a career.
See, the way I see it is that, you know, you're really good, but you have good ideas too.
And you're like, right.
Right.
You're Candy Reza.
Candy Reza.
I like Candy Reza.
So these kids are terrible, but there's a different one every week.
And whoever wins gets a chance to launch their career.
Can somebody explain what that means, A chance to launch their career?
What does that mean?
He's not even on a major label right now,
so good luck with that.
She's on Riley's label.
Riley Records.
So anyway, that show was not as terrible
as I thought it would be.
Yeah, that's all right.
Sort of forgettable, though.
All I could say over and over,
and this is someone who moved
at 18 years old
to be a performer.
So, it's sad
that I'm saying this and hypocritical, but every
time I see those kids, I'm like, get a job.
Wait, excuse me. Did you move to LA
at 18 to be a performer? New York.
Really? We are
learning about each other. Yeah, my 18th
birthday got on Greyhound, boo.
You are kidding me.
Everybody's talking. I'm one of those people
on Chopped who would be like,
I deserve to be on Chopped because
I was homeless for two weeks
in New York, and I deserve
to win. And I'll cry about it until
I'm 70 on TV. Were you homeless
in New York? He gave a lot of handjobs.
Yeah.
You ever see Midnight Cowboy? It's the Ronnie Carom story.
Well, thankfully, I was raised
a born-again Christian, so I was way too prude
to do anything like that, or I would have been
making some money!
Oh!
Oh!
I'm Lydia,
and I'm haunting you!
I cannot wait till Lydia has her own Halloween special.
Be like with Snoopy.
Chompers.
Okay, do we have anything else?
Yes, we do.
So we didn't talk about this during lost footage of Atlanta.
Apollo becoming a model and meeting Tyson Beckford.
Hey, thank you for making me a model.
I think I can do this.
You just give me some eyebrow makeup.
I do whatever you want.
That sums it up.
And then there was also, you know, when they were at the end talking about, like, what are people working on next or whatever, Cynthia keeps trying to pretend that the Bailey Modeling Agency is happening, even though we know it is not happening.
And she was saying that she's going to be doing a second Miss Renaissance
or whatever the hell it's called.
And then Kenya chimes in, pop that fan, and says,
oh, well, Andy, there's going to be two pageants next year
because I'm doing one myself.
Oh, snap.
Oh, snapperoo.
Yeah.
I can't believe that.
Yes, she's going to try and have little pageants.
Whatever.
I say something about you,
and he's like,
oh,
she just,
you know what I mean?
You're in charge of music today.
Could you just loop that clip over and over for 30 seconds?
Wait,
here's a bonus.
Here's a bonus.
Kim Richards.
I want you to tell me,
oh,
are you okay? And then I see you outside the door. you tell me, oh, are you okay?
And then I see you outside the door.
You're like, oh, it's the O's again.
Oh, my God.
Love it.
The only three soundbites we'll ever need.
Camille, Candy, and Kim.
Let's end it.
I'm about to drop the mic.
All right.
Andy and Kim.
Let's end it.
I'm about to drop the mic.
All right.
So guys,
um, you can find me,
Ronnie at TV,
Gazem on Twitter.
Um,
you can find Ben at B side blog and you can find Matt at life on the M list.
Find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crap ends or on Twitter at what crap ends and leave us some reviews and stuff on iTunes.
Buy you some Sherry's berries and some razors. And I think that's itppins. And leave us some reviews and stuff on iTunes. Buy you some Sherry's Berries and some Razors.
And I think that's it, right?
And Instagram.
But Ronnie makes it difficult, so you can follow him on Instagram at RonnieKaram.
And you can follow me and Ben at our actual Twitter handles because we like to make things simple for you.
Yeah, and follow us.
I'm going to change my Twitter handle to RonnieKaram, too.
Okay, so anyway, thanks, you guys.
Have a great one. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye, so anyway, thanks, you guys. Have a great one. Bye!
Bye!
Bye!
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