Watch What Crappens - #73: Alexis Feels Bullied; Also, Is This The Hood or Pups In Paris?

Episode Date: May 1, 2013

This week on a spirited episode of Watch What Crappens, Ronnie Karam (TVgasm.com), Matt Whitefield (Yahoo!) and Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com) tackle an important issue for this country: bull...ying. Or as Alexis Bellino calls it, BOOLYING. The guys fiercely debate whether or not Alexis was in fact bullied by the other women on The Real Housewives of Orange County. Then it's on to Married To Medicine to discuss two seminal Atlanta events: The Spooky Ooky Halloween Party and Pups In Paris. It's Mariah vs. Toya, and the guys have plenty of opinions about both. Finally, things close out with lost footage from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and as always there's tons of gossip and bizarre references throughout. Definitely check this episode out! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 From Wondery and Audible comes Class of 88, a new podcast hosted by Will Smith. Before 1988, a lot of people didn't take hip-hop seriously. But hip-hop today touches everything from film to fashion to sports. So what changed? Follow Class of 88 wherever you get your podcasts. Mom, what does that mean? There are lots of women who should be remembered on Mother's Day. Think of someone who is nurturing, caring, selfless, loving.
Starting point is 00:00:28 Show mom how valuable she is on Mother's Day with Shari's Berries. Giant freshly dipped strawberries from Shari's Berries starting at $19.99. Over a 40% savings. Go to berries.com, click on the microphone, and type in WATCH. W-A-T-C-H. And for our listeners, double the berries for just $10 more. Dipped in white milk and dark chocolatey goodness topped with chocolate chips, decorative swizzle, or nuts. 40% off from Shari's Berries. You just need our code WATCH when you order.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Enormous, fresh, juicy, mouth-watering. Here's the only way to get this amazing Mother's Day deal. Visit berries.com, B-E-R-R-I-E-S dot com. Click on the microphone in the top right corner and type in watch. Go to berries.com, click on the microphone, and type in watch. We cannot say this enough. Hurry, this offer ends soon, so order today! Hey everybody, welcome to Watch What Crap Ends, a podcast dedicated to all that crap we love to watch on Bravo. My name is Matt Whitfield from Yahoo, and joining me as always are Ben Mandelker from B-Side Blog and Ronnie Karam from TVgasm. Say hello.
Starting point is 00:01:53 Hi. Hi. Hello. So, guys, we have much to discuss this week, obviously, as we always do. But before we do that, we want to give a huge shout out to all of our users, our listeners, our fans. You guys are amazing. You came through for me on the iTunes page by leaving more five star comments. We love those. And if you guys are not paying attention to our Facebook page, you definitely need to get involved. We're at facebook.com forward slash watch what crappens.
Starting point is 00:02:21 You can also follow the fun on Twitter at what crap happens. You can follow me, Matt Whitfield at life on the M list. You can follow Ben at B side blog, and you can follow Ronnie at TV gasm. Yeah. Um, and people should definitely come to the Facebook page because it is off the hook. We have so many people who are putting stuff on our page. Now it's hard to even keep up. We are almost at400 followers, which a few weeks ago, I want to say we were like at 800. So I'm very impressed. Yeah, absolutely. And we also put up content there that's not on this show.
Starting point is 00:02:54 So, for instance, about an hour before this podcast, I had nothing to do. So I took screenshots of Gretchen Rossi's home and highlighted all her different TJ Maxx type of decor elements. Which is, by the way, that's becoming one of my favorite because we have sub-franchise or we actually have franchises on our Facebook page. And one of them is the Gretchen Rossi decor essentials. And Ben, you just took it to a whole nother level. And by the way, some of our users are so obsessed and crazy just like the three of us that they are actually now going into ross tj maxx and marshalls and taking photos of the decor that is typically found in the real housewives of orange county's kitchens i i know
Starting point is 00:03:36 i can't wait to go myself like i it's strange that i haven't been to marshalls in the past eight weeks like i'm normally there once every two weeks I can't wait to go in there with my camera and just take pictures of everything. Because if there's one thing that we've learned from Gretchen Rossi is that there's never enough TJ Maxx decor in your house. There's always room for more. That is true. That is true.
Starting point is 00:03:59 Ronnie, have you purchased anything recently at a Ross, TJ Maxx, or Marshalls? I got a new nonstick panic Ross, and I also got some new jogging pants, but then I got home and realized that they don't have a back pocket and they're only half-lined, because that's how Ross is.
Starting point is 00:04:17 And I think that's all I bought this week. Please don't tell me that you go to the Ross at the Beverly Connection. It is the ghetto-est. I know that's not a word, but it is the ghetto-est Ross I've ever been in. No, because I don't tell me that you go to the ross at the beverly connection it is the ghettoist i i know that's not a word but it is the ghettoist ross i've ever been in no because i don't approve of their parking there i think that they intentionally get you lost which ross do you go to not the one across in the grove we talked about this last week he goes to the one on sunset in la brea right with all the homeless people in the parking lot that's my home store with the Walking Dead set outside. And then
Starting point is 00:04:45 I occasionally go to the third in Beverly and if I'm feeling really crazy I'll go to Western and Western and whatever. Listen, Western is way too east. It gets scary over there. I used to live there. Trust me, I know. Anyone who knows
Starting point is 00:05:01 anyone who knows anything about TJ Maxx, Ross, and Marshalls know that there's only two places to go. One is the aforementioned Beverly Connection with its confusing parking lot, and the other is the Empire Center in Burbank, which has huge options on all fronts. But oddly enough, HomeGoods, the only one that's nearby, you have to go to Glendale, which is a whole other issue. What's the thing at the show? Last time I went to HomeGoods, I ended up buying a car. I was on my way to HomeGoods, and I was like, I'll go test drive a car for fun,
Starting point is 00:05:30 and I'm such a sucker. I might as well have boobs. I mean, I'm sorry, ladies, but you know it's true. The worst car buyers of all time in history. And I'm the worst, too. I'm like, okay, I'll buy a car with money I don't have. And speaking of boobs, you did buy a lady car. I'm not going to lie.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I did. I bought a lady car, and I actually grew bigger boobs since I bought that car, too. Did you buy the Jennifer Lopez edition of the Fiat? No, I have... No, she has, like, the cream-colored one, right? She had the cream-colored, like, 500cc special J-Lo edition.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Yeah. No, I do have a convertible, but I have a black with a red top. Ooh. And like a built-in bra that holds my boobs up while I drive. I didn't know you were a top. I was about to say, it seems to really be missing
Starting point is 00:06:13 a TJ Maxx Diva Margarita Glass to go right in the cup holder. Gretchen Rossi style. They're too small. Those are the most rickety cars ever invented. The Fiat. Do you have a... It should be soldety cars ever invented. Do you have a...
Starting point is 00:06:25 They should be sold at TJ Maxx. Do you have a license plate holder that says, I'd rather be shopping at TJ Maxx? That's bedazzled. No, but I actually did go to Ross because they have an automotive section. I mean... Stop! It's not a section, but it's like a little tiny half aisle.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Okay, do not... Wait a second. I don't believe you for a second. I don't want anything associated with my car that came from a budget clothing store. Okay? Are these like the Ross Dress for Less shocks? Because you might be in for a shock. Pick up some brake pads at the Ross Dress for Less.
Starting point is 00:06:57 What are you talking about? New transmission at Ross. I bought lit gas and brake pedal. They're lit. But I couldn't install them. I didn't know how to do it right. You didn't buy some bedazzled fuzzy dice. And the Fiat doesn't have holes to put your license plate in.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So instead of drilling them, I was trying to find a license plate holder that I could glue onto the car. Listen, Ronnie, you going to Ross for things for your car makes as much sense as me deciding to go to AutoZone to find my next cute outfit, okay? Listen, it's why everybody knows it here. It's because everybody knows my name up in the Ross. They're like, what's that, mister? Which is my name when I go to Ross. It's mister? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Like Leighton Meester. If people ask me my name in Ross, I say, it's mister. like layton mister people tell me if people ask me my name and ross i say it's mister like okay mister okay so anyway this is this show is about bravo and i think we do owe you all uh hello my name is ronnie and i'm an alcoholic after last week's episode okay let's get our apologies out of the way right now first First of all, my boyfriend's name is Jesus, not Jesus. Let's get it straight, people. Don't get it twisted. Uh-huh. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:09 That's the only thing I needed to clear up because, you know, I don't have anything else to apologize for. I have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. Me neither. Okay. So what else happened? Okay. So you guys want to talk some gossip first?
Starting point is 00:08:21 Yeah. Well, I want to talk gossip. But before we do that, I just wanted to bring up the amazing Instagram photo that I shared earlier this week. Yeah, that was amazing. Which Bravo TV posted, which my birthday is in two weeks, and I need to have this shirt. It says, who is Adrian Maloof in this world? And the hottest piece of hot is wearing it. Who?
Starting point is 00:08:39 Did you ask him where he got it? I don't know. No, I don't know who is even wearing it. Bravo posted it. I know for a fact that it's – Oh, I thought you took that picture. No, that's not me, and I didn't take that photo. I reposted it or I regrammed it, hashtag regrammed it from Bravo TV.
Starting point is 00:08:55 Ronnie didn't even pay attention even though I called him out in the post. But our friends, you know, Yummy Wasabi, Jutz, and Gaga Garza certainly did, but Ronnie didn't. Yes, I did. I put OMG or something. I put a really intelligent comment. Oh, no, wait, I see. Your comment was amaze. Yeah. You see? That was a well-thought-out comment. Okay, well, the point is who's buying me that shirt for my birthday on May 13th?
Starting point is 00:09:19 Andy Cohen. Jesus. Your mom. Shari from Shari's Berries. Ben, can you say it with a Long Island accent forari from shari's berries ben can you say it with a long island accent for shari's berries which actually is a perfect segue matt because um we were emailed uh or messaged some gossip about long island princesses um we need to talk about it because i'm gonna be honest i don't know if there's
Starting point is 00:09:42 a show i've ever looked more forward to in my life i know i i'm really it's gonna it's gonna i haven't looked this forward to a show since they did that spin-off of the golden girls called the golden palace oh with don oh my god that only lasted one season and it didn't even include b arthur yeah yeah she got married i wonder if they had golden showers at the golden Palace. I'm sure. Don Cheadle had to start somewhere. Well, and we know Blanche was a slut and she would do anything. Oh, yeah. She was the one giving it.
Starting point is 00:10:11 Who knew that that show wouldn't be funny without Dorothy? I mean, none of them were funny on that show. Speaking of my birthday, I share the same birthday as Bea Arthur. She would probably approve from the grave if somebody purchased me that Adrian Maloof tank top. All right. So we'll give Matt another chance to Adrian Maloof tank top. All right. So we'll give Matt another chance to ask for that tank top in a moment. But first, let me read this gossip. OK, so this guy emailed it in and he says, my friend works at Bravo.
Starting point is 00:10:35 I've seen that Long Island Princesses show and it is insane. They're all nuts. And he wrote nuts with a Z. Wait for the episode when they're all at the backyard barbecue and a drunk girl accuses one of the princesses boyfriend of being gay. They all flip out and the drunk girl won't let up. It's hilarious. Now here comes some other stuff. Wait, wait, wait. Pause. Surprise.
Starting point is 00:10:54 Bravo likes to have fights happen at backyard dinner parties. He says, I can also tell you that lots of crazy stuff was filmed for the New Jersey Housewives, but Bravo is making edits to make Caroline look better. I think Bravo thinks the So I guess he's saying that they're allowed to bash on everyone else except Caroline. So the moment when it is revealed at a party, attended by Lil' Kim no less, that Caroline's husband is cheating on her, that moment will not be shown. And also, the final fight where Jacqueline, her hubby, and Joe Gorga fight a guy at a party and draw blood, they're trying to not have on the show.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Plus, they were going to have Danielle and Dina back, but Bravo messed it up by not giving them more money. If you want Danielle's brand of crazy, you gotta pay up. Duh. I have much to talk about there are there still more that you're gonna ramble on about or can i start i am i well listen i i'm just seeing if there's any other pieces of gossip he said some other stuff about like uh ramona and aviva but i don't know now we don't know if any of this is true by the way okay before you get to any let's talk about this though because one of the big things that is popping this week is is the upcoming season of the real housewives of New Jersey a complete fraud?
Starting point is 00:12:07 Are all of these women just acting? And more importantly, is Caroline just faking everything in order to keep her family all on the show, all getting paid, so she'll put on a happy face and play along with Teresa? Well, I mean, obviously she's doing this for the money. That's what they all are doing. And I never really think that they're acting because if any of these women could act as well as what we see, then they would have careers as actors. Well, we know that Teresa cannot act. But Caroline, I know, was – she deserved to be pulled through the ringer or whatever you call it last season because she was awful. But now she's trying to save face the way we've seen so many of these women in the past do and i think that the ship has sailed i'm never going to be team caroline again i don't think i'm team
Starting point is 00:12:50 any of these women maybe melissa well i don't know why they're hiding the fact that her husband cheated on her because it's been all over the news because usually that happens like after they film something is revealed they all run to radar online or whatever so it looks like they were the ones who put it out there in the first place. So I don't know why they try and hide that now. I mean, I guess the most interesting thing about that and the questions that all the audience is going to have is how did that guy get a boner? I mean, that guy barely looks like he can walk across the room to find the remote control.
Starting point is 00:13:19 How's he getting a boner? He has lap band surgery every other week. So I would think that that would prevent him from getting a hard-on. I would think so. He's probably doing the helicopter like crazy. He's probably going to swing that thing off one day. Maybe he just has a Bonnie Franklin fetish. Did you just say the helicopter?
Starting point is 00:13:37 Yeah, the helicopter is when you make your wiener fly around like a helicopter so you can get it working. Okay, we're less than 30 minutes into the podcast and matt has officially clutched his pearls see and i'm imagining that in front of caroline's face and then of course like i just mentioned before caroline always makes me think of bonnie franklin dearly departed now i'm getting divisions of her family playing throw the ham because they love to play throw the ham now i'm imagining schneider doing the helicopter in front of bonnie franklin and valley bernelli schneider schneider is more fuckable than that man's old person i'll say schneider then or schneider now both but together schneider wearing the tool belt or not wearing the i would rather have a three-way with future Schneider and past Schneider than ever see Caroline naked. I would rather be on a spit in between old Schneider and new Schneider.
Starting point is 00:14:31 With Valerie Bertinelli and what's-her-face, the one who had sex with her dad. What was her name? Chyna Phillips' sister. Yeah, Mackenzie Phillips. Yeah, Mackenzie Phillips. I would rather be witnessing Mackenzie Phillips' childhood trauma with old and future Schneider next to me, naked, than to be in bed with Caroline Manzo. I would rather have sex with the dead guy from Empty Nest and Christy McNichol, his co-star from Empty Nest, than be in the presence of a naked Carolina? I would rather have sex with Diana Manoff
Starting point is 00:15:09 and Dreyfus Did Jim just bring up Diana Manoff? and Dreyfus the dog, as well as David Leisure next door, than be involved with Diana Manoff. I would rather be the towel that cleaned up the pee that that guy got a golden
Starting point is 00:15:27 shower with on the set of golden palace i would rather be spanked by park overall aka laverne from empty nest i would rather i would rather be um i can't even say that i would rather be – I can't even say that. I would rather be in Max Wright's crack den. Max Wright, the father from Elf, who was busted famously for doing crack with homeless men. Yes. Look it up on the internet. It's really disturbing, their pictures. I would rather be handcuffed by Marsha Warfield from Night Court before she ended up on Empty Nest. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:16:01 ended up on Empty Nest. Oh my god. I would rather have intimate moments with past and future Paul Provenza who also had a guest arc on Empty Nest than Caroline Mayanzo. You guys, it's important that we get back to Bravo.
Starting point is 00:16:17 So tell me this. Where is Park overall? What happened to her? I don't know. I think she should be on The Real Housewives of Nashville. I think Park overall is probably dealing blackjack on a boat floating down the Mississippi right now. And selling cigarettes.
Starting point is 00:16:34 So, what other gossip do we have? Let's talk about this. What were we talking about? Jersey's Fake and Stupid, yes. Jersey's Fake and Stupid, moving on. Okay, let's talk Beverly Hills for a second. Adrienne Maloof is now claiming that she is getting a reality show that is not on Bravo, but a separate reality show.
Starting point is 00:16:51 And in other Beverly Hills news, I believe— What is it? What is the show? What's it going to be on? Well, she doesn't know, and we don't know what network it's going to be on, but she's claiming this. It's like her book deal that she got. Yes, but I definitely think that it should definitely involve lots of Bernie. I think it should like her book deal that she got yes but i definitely think that it should definitely involve lots of bernie i think it should be her crying while bernie cooks yeah
Starting point is 00:17:10 um that is not gonna happen that show's not gonna happen and the only way it is gonna happen is if she produces it herself and it's gonna be on like the tv guide channel i just i just hope no no one you know like on the premiere nothing bad happens because i wouldn't want like want like a repeat of what happened when Lisa was trying to renew her vows and everything. How sad that we're going to be celebrating the renewal. Somebody else's. Yeah, the same day that we hear about our friend's split. So upsetting. I know.
Starting point is 00:17:40 I love that Ben hasn't had time to record any new audio clips, so we're going back to Camille. That's all I need. Well, I can give you a candy. You want to hear a candy? No, save it for later. I can give you a Kim Richards. Save it for later. I think that Adrian's reality show will probably be playing on one of those free channels in the Palms Hotel on all the TVs maybe.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Totally, yes. And you're going to get to see like the C-list porn that you can watch. Right, and she'll be like like it's seen by millions and actually no it's just one of those free channels on the the palms network where they tell you about the buffet and like where the spa services and where you get your hair tensile could you imagine like could you imagine adrian maloof next to like some hideous floral arrangement next to the buffet be like come down and try the shrimp cocktail. The pool closes at 10, and I ain't kidding.
Starting point is 00:18:30 No wonder the Palms is going into foreclosure or something. Okay, Taylor, I was about to say Taylor Swift. She's actually worse than Taylor Swift, which is hard to imagine. But Taylor Armstrong has been downgraded to friend of the housewives. What do we think? Boo.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Well, she's still on it. That's something. She fought too hard to get into this zip code to leave now. I actually think this is really sad news because Taylor is an alcoholic who is never going to get clean. And Taylor drunk on TV is my favorite thing ever. Here's what I want. I want to spin off with Taylor and Dana being drunk and miserable on the sidelines. They're in 90212, you know?
Starting point is 00:19:08 Yeah, I want Taylor and Dana to work at a temp agency. And, like, every episode could be them trying to temp. And you know what it should be called? And this is a phrase that is used in this area, especially on, like, Craigslist and stuff. But their spinoff should be called Beverly Hills Adjacent. Yes, it should be. Or it could be like their names it could be like dana and taylor or taylor dana taylor dane it could be taylor dane should be on the show too guys taylor taylor dane will play their boss at the um at the agency and the taylor dane agency the taylor dane. And she'll dress like Amanda Woodward from Melrose Place.
Starting point is 00:19:46 And Taylor and Dana will be working their butts off to stay in 90210 and rent like a shitty little apartment in Beverly Hills adjacent on – what's that street? Fairfax. No, they have to be like on Fairfax between Little Ethiopia and The Grove. Yeah. And their receptionist is played by Park Overall. Yes. Oh my god, finally. And Dreyfuss is there too.
Starting point is 00:20:08 This show was just a joke to me until you said that. And the ghost of Richard Mulligan and Bonnie Franklin will haunt this space. And the synergy, this is all part of the NBC Universal family, so we could easily get it on NBC because they have nothing else to show. I bet this would be their biggest sitcom since Whitney. You know what? It would bring back the Thursday night, you know, dream that NBC used to have. Thursday night, 8 p.m. This is our show. Must-see TV. Must-see TV.
Starting point is 00:20:34 Honestly, I would watch it. Okay, there was a rumor that Gigi and Paul, Adrian's ex, were dating because they were seen together at some restaurant. I don't buy it for a second. Oh, God. I don't buy it for a second. Oh, God. I don't buy it either. I didn't know he had a thing for munchkin faces.
Starting point is 00:20:49 Gigi only has eyes for homosexual men with huge noses. Yeah, and Paul's only got eyes for brontosaurus steaks. Yeah. Well, maybe Gigi wants to sort of, like, go into the realm of back hair extensions. What would Reza say about this? Oh, my God. go into the realm of back hair extensions. What would Reza say about this? I'm like, I gotta warm up. I haven't done it in a while. That's so Persian.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Oh my god, homegirl is like totally dating a plastic surgeon? That is so Persian. White girls like to date actors, but Persians like to date plastic surgeons and realtors. Oh my god, Homegirl has to get it right. Now give me a
Starting point is 00:21:29 crumbly cookie. The other gossip from Beverly Hills was that Marissa isn't coming back. I know that's a shocker. Didn't we make that weeks ago? She made such an impact. I just gave a huge interview, you guys,
Starting point is 00:21:44 and she is not coming back. All right. Spread the word. What do you think? What do you think? Nobody cares because she is so boring. And the only person that we're going to miss from her clan is her crazy-ass mother. Yeah, that's true.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Well, one of her quotes – well, actually it's not a quote because I'm not quoting her. But something she said in it was – she's like, oh, I've never really cared about reality TV. Something she said in it was – she's like, oh, I've never really cared about reality TV. I mean Selling LA and Beverly Hills and Million Dollar Listing LA all came after me. OK. When was she on Million Dollar Listing LA? I don't remember that. I've watched her on Selling LA.
Starting point is 00:22:18 I don't remember at all. Guess what? Nobody cares. Who even read that stupid article that she put out? Nobody cares. Michael Cook did. That's who we love michael yeah michael probably wrote it yeah michael hey michael he's doing your tricks headlines he'll be like what did marissa zanuck say that could change the game forever click marissa zanuck's not coming back to us. I love those headlines.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Someone lost their leg on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. Who is it? Teresa didn't eat her leg of lamb. It's like, oh, my God, you tricky little bastards. I clicked on that because I trusted in you, Michael Cook. Yeah, don't trust him. Don't trust him. One other thing before we move on,
Starting point is 00:23:05 because we should probably move on here. Realestocker, which is one of my favorite real estate blogs, is fascinating. And they are saying that Lydia, the new addition to the Real Housewives of Orange County, rented her house about a month before shooting began on the current season in Dana Point, where she's now neighbors with Alexis Bellino,
Starting point is 00:23:30 who also was renting her house that's on this show in Dana Point because it's closer to Lydia. It's closer to the other females. And actually Alexis lives in some other place called San something. San Onofre? I don't even know. Probably Azusa. San Luis Obispo? San Clemente?
Starting point is 00:23:42 Probably Azusa with… San Azusa. San Luis Obispo. San Clemente. Probably Azusa with – San Azusa. San Azusa with Shanae, Shkane, Shkanectadee from Vanderpump Rules. But anyway. Shana, Shana, whatever. So Lydia and Alexis are both frauds more so than we thought. Neither of them paid cash for their houses and they both rented mansions to shoot the show. I think that –
Starting point is 00:24:02 And they're both wives of entrepreneurs. And they're both children of G.O.D. We're getting to a point where this is... I mean, it's too effed up. Like, that is Vicky's house in Cota da Casa. That is clearly Heather's monstrosity. And clearly that's Gretchen's shack in some nasty, dumpy neighborhood
Starting point is 00:24:21 adjacent to Vicky's neighborhood. I do not like that these people can rent a house for a season. I think it's messed up. You know, it makes me admire Lynn Curtin all the more because she at least had the balls to let her eviction play out on camera and all her fraudulent
Starting point is 00:24:38 ways just play out for all of us to take in. I don't know why they ever got rid of her and thank you to whoever put the cuff love up. Did you not love our cover photo on Facebook that I posted
Starting point is 00:24:48 from Lynn Curtin's designer bedazzled Jesus Florida Lee Cuffs? You know what? I really loved it because I actually had to drive through Orange County
Starting point is 00:24:58 last week. For what? I had to meet a friend down in Oceanside which meant I had to That is no friend of yours. Oceanside? Did you go to another goddamn brunch?
Starting point is 00:25:09 No, no, no. It's no brunch. But anyway, I had to drive through Orange County. No, no, no. Look, Ronnie, do you hear Ben like icing over this? Who are you going to see, bitch? I saw my friend. Which one?
Starting point is 00:25:22 What friend? Does he play for the Dallas Cowboys no it was my friend and his boyfriend and we had a lovely dinner you expanded your grinder search you got sick of all the boys in the hood listen do you think I would ever expand my grinder search to include anything from
Starting point is 00:25:37 Orange County oh snap desperate times there should be a sequel to boys in the hood boys in the hood 2 but it should be a gay to Boys in the Hood. Boys in the Hood 2, but it should be a gay straight-to-DVD movie about Grindr. And shit, at least in the OC, you never have jobs, unlike our damn neighborhood. I don't think that's— Okay, they'll be working at a t-shirt shop. I'll take a t-shirt shop over a non-working actor, thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:26:01 Me too. Get out of Starbucks, loser. I can't tell you how many OkCid dates i have been on and it's been like oh yeah i'm an actor slash i don't work yeah i once had a date with a guy who was like a actor model waiter wannabe singer just anything that was like potentially creative he was at fashion designer it's rough going out there it is you guys because we're doing this podcast right now i just got an email from guess who fresh and easy oh i did free taco shells this friday plus special coupons coupons are delicious i can't wait to make some tacos in my living room
Starting point is 00:26:42 that's been designed to look like Inja. Inja? Will you be inviting Sharon Lawrence? Or not Sharon Lawrence, Sharon Osbourne. I'll be inviting Sharon Lawrence as well because I enjoy my NYPD blue. Okay, two quick things. Jacqueline Lareda is saying that she was the victim of a break-in. This is also coming when Jack can't be paying her mortgage and I sense a fraudulent insurance claim looking to that police. And the other piece is –
Starting point is 00:27:09 For all of the policemen that are listening to our show right now. You know there's got to be some. There are gay people everywhere. Look at the NBA. There are in the NBA and on the police force. Yeah. Now, Sonia Morgan is reportedly dating a 23-year-old real estate guy in New York named something. Sorry. I'm sorry to be racist.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Is it E-Bong? It's totally E-Bong from The Real Housewives of Washington, D.C. Didn't someone post that on our Facebook page? Yes. They saw Linda. That's her name, right? Linda? No, they didn't just see Linda on our Facebook page? Yes. They saw Linda. That's her name, right? Linda? No, they didn't just see Linda on the side of the road.
Starting point is 00:27:47 They went to Linda's agency in D.C. and knocked on the door and said, hi, I'm a fan. Can I take a photo? And Linda, being super crazy, was like, yes, come on in and take a photo with me. Why not? Yeah, why not? What else is she doing? I mean, I have a hard time believing the modeling industry in D.C. is taking up that much of our time. Hey, hey, hey.
Starting point is 00:28:08 I'm from D.C. There are models there. Yeah. Models like here's a model of the White House. Ouch. Zing. This is from the guy who posted a photo of my Mad Men lookalike where I am dumpy with bad hair and wearing an ugly tie. Thanks, Ben.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Listen, it was because – no, I had to do it to defend your honor because someone else said, oh, this is who Ben was talking about and posted a picture of someone way worse. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Besides, it was the 60s, Matt. Everyone had floppy hair. Your hair doesn't look like that right now. I'm going to get a fade tomorrow. I'm very excited. Well, you know what? everyone should go to matt's instagram to see what he really looks like oh my god by the way a lot of new followers and it's kind of creepy but i'm
Starting point is 00:28:54 gonna stick with it i haven't really gotten any new followers but i do want to point out um it's because you're taking too many photos of the golden gate bridge and not enough selfless shirt shirtless selfies come on i don't do shirtless selfies i have i have the body of some god forsaken lump of clothes in the back of ross dress for less thrown on the floor yeah because that's the only kind that's in the back of ross yeah people just throw that shit on the floor yeah and by the way speaking of that i want to give a shout out to um roland poland uh who took a picture all the way from australia of uh all sorts of housewives junk which was one thing was a um eiffel tower it was hilarious it's like an eye it's a picture of like an eiffel tower that's like superimposed onto a letter that says like my dear friend it makes no sense but it's
Starting point is 00:29:41 classic rossi and then there's also a little classic ross there's a little thing that says like friends and good food on the board and good wine and the pictures we shall we live it's like weird it's again classic rossi you've got to see it makes sense and then a little um it looks like it's a little mirror that has a frame that looks like paris so we i appreciate that roland um so once again uh besides Roland Poland from Australia, you guys all need to follow us on Facebook. Become a fan. Get involved. It's Facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crappens. We are getting so much original artwork as well.
Starting point is 00:30:16 There's a guy named Yaroslav. I don't know who you are, but you keep posting scary pictures of Lydia's horse mouth that have given me nightmares for weeks, and I love it. And I have to give a shout-out also to Heather Evans because she put up a screen cap of one of Gretchen Rossi's tweets. This is hilarious. Someone named Cortland Miller asked Gretchen, Hey, where did you get the turquoise starfish necklace you wear in the first two episodes? And Gretchen writes back, TJ Maxx, actually. No, she did not.
Starting point is 00:30:46 She did. And on top of that, she misspelled it. She wrote – You need to stop. I need a moment of silence for this. You are kidding me. I am not. Gretchen wrote it and she wrote it wrong.
Starting point is 00:30:54 She wrote TG Maxx. That's like the TJ Maxx version of TJ Maxx. That's even more discount. Yeah. That is the leftovers from TJ Maxx where they ship ship it off to where Ross won't even buy it. It's like the Mexican piñata candy of discount stores. Oh, my God. That is crazy.
Starting point is 00:31:13 T.J. Maxx. That's hilarious. I'm looking through a few things on Facebook right now. Ben, did you see that Jesus posted something about Dr. Simone's nephew being your boyfriend? Yeah, and he's hot, Dr. Simone's nephew. Is that who you're visiting in Riverside? Ugh, I wish. No,
Starting point is 00:31:31 that picture, to me, that confirmed everything I was saying. Look, he's like a young Donald Glover. You guys, I can't find the parts that's posted from other people. Where's that? Ben and I revoked your access. Sorry, honey. Yeah. Oh, God, I got fired at a date.
Starting point is 00:31:48 You did? Well, should we move on to Orange County? Yes. We're not even drunk this week. We have no excuse for this mess. Well, except we've been actually talking about Bravo. Oh, my God. There's a tweet from Gretchen Rossi. What a... She is such a trash bag. She's... As Vicky would say,
Starting point is 00:32:04 she's stupid. She's stupid. Vicky would say, she's stupid. She's stupid. Vicky just cuts to the chase. I love that. Okay, let's talk housewives. She's a stupid person. I took a full on page of notes. So I'm just going to ramble through and I'll have you guys talk about something. So someone has to die, Matt?
Starting point is 00:32:17 Is that what you're telling me? So someone has to die before you can read your notes? Unless somebody's dead or chained to a fence. I have to slip my wrists. I have to slip my wrists. I have to slip my wrists. Okay, let's talk about this. Was Alexis being bullied or not? Lydia, who is an Alexis ally, even says she was not being bullied.
Starting point is 00:32:34 She was not being bullied. Yes, Alexis was being bullied. Yes, she was being bullied. Listen, just because you are, like, you're in an argument with people and you're outnumbered does not mean you're being bullied. It just means that you are outnumbered. That is all. That was three girls being mean to her on purpose. No one made any effort.
Starting point is 00:32:53 And then they all start, like, Tamara purposely started shit with her at that party. Like, she didn't even let her be nice. She was trying to be nice. Here's where it becomes bullying. Ben, here's what's happening. Ronnie and I are defending Alexis, and you need to deal with it. You guys are such bullies. Okay, well then, what did you guys think?
Starting point is 00:33:13 I am the spokeswoman for Skyzone, okay? And I am like a trampoline. Whatever you say bounces off me and hits you. I thought you were about to say Shari's Barry's. Shari's Barry's. Here's why it's not bullying. Okay. It would have been bullying if the three of them were sitting there just truly like taunting her, you know.
Starting point is 00:33:32 They were. No, no, no. They were being mean. They were being mean for sure. But they were being mean and they were ganging up in their arguments. They were not being like, look at your stupid face. You're just a stupid face. You're ugly.
Starting point is 00:33:42 You're ugly. Why don't you go home? Why don't you die? That's bullying. They were because – It doesn't always bullying they were because how you look gretchen was making little comments every time alexis said anything um she was making little she was being a bitch she wasn't i think it's i think there's actually subtlety here you know like making comments not to alexis but to everybody else like mocking alexis tamra was openly mocking her when she was just trying to be nice. Heather wasn't really, but she was.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Tamara wasn't mocking. Tamara was just being a bitch. I know that sounds like the same thing. That is not doing what Tamara did justice. She was beyond disgusting. Oh, she certainly was. She was a hideous human being. But I still don't think that it was bullying. I really don't. I really and I actually agree with Heather and other people who say that for people to hide behind this bullying thing, it really cheapens the people who truly are being bullied.
Starting point is 00:34:38 Oh, OK. Look, I'm sorry here, but we're three homos, so we're allowed to talk about this for real. I'm not gay. I don't think – OK. That's why you were visiting a boyfriend in Rancho Cucamonga last week. OK. I'm sorry. But just because bullying got popular a few years ago and because Glee made it all about gay people getting bullied. I don't want to talk about it.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Other people are bullied, and bullying doesn't always just have to be about the way somebody looks or somebody's sexuality. It can be about three people being an asshole and attacking another person. I don't know. I get what people – I get what Ben's saying because it should be reserved for people who really get it bad in life. And Alexis is some little rich twit. People don't want her. That is true. I think that is true.
Starting point is 00:35:21 I give in. I'm not going to fight this battle for her. I will say that there is definitely some shades of gray here. I think in Costa Rica, she was definitely not being bullied. I think they were trying to give her constructive criticism. This time around, they for sure were meaner and they were bitchier. And they were writing that line. And you could make an argument that they were bullying, but I think it was still a shade less.
Starting point is 00:35:44 I still do. I still think it's a shade are you reading 50 shades of gray because everything is getting shady up in your speech you know like bullying there are many other times that you can use the word shade well i feel like i need to clarify i do feel like alexis has been bullied but i completely approve of the bullying and i hope that they chain her to offense. Because sometimes there are people who deserve it, and Alexis is one of those people. My God. Pearls have been clutched again. So I would say let's – I would bully – if she put up a Trevor Project video about being bullied, I would leave hate comments on it.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Like that's how I feel about her. I just spit onto my computer. she put up a Trevor Project video about being bullied, I would leave hate comments on it. Like, that's how I feel about her. I just spit onto my computer. I would like her and Kelly Ben Simone to have a roundtable discussion about bullying and what it means to them. Do you know who I would like to be bullied? Heather, because I hate her guts. And Gretchen, because I hate her guts even more. Well, Heather's skating on thin ice messing with Tamara.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Tamara almost beat her with a chicken. Okay, how funny was that? So Heather then defends Vicky by saying, you know, Tamara, you were being disgusting and you were, like, using too many curse words and you told Vicky that she could fuck off too. And then Tamara lashes out like a psychopath that we know she is. And then Tamara's about to cut Heather's throat. throat well i i personally like that tamra's like what you want to get thrown out too as if like to be thrown out of this party held in a giant garage is like the biggest shame in the world like oh no heather you might miss out on hearing some echoey conversation in an office park this is not like getting thrown out of the oscars this is getting thrown out of an empty warehouse i had put on toothpicks to dip into that honey ramp.
Starting point is 00:37:28 Like, I really love what Tamara's holding over these women. And then Vicky and Gretchen. Hold on. Because Heather wasn't saying, oh, you were being so mean. She was kissing Tamara's ass. But Tamara was so mad that she almost kicked her out. Because she was just saying, well, at least Vicky was showing that she was on your side. Right. Tamara can't even see through the hate because she was so blinded by her craziness.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Tamara's that crazy bitch in school that everybody hates but everybody follows because they're afraid of getting beat up by her. Which makes her the queen of the mean girls. Exactly. Exactly. I also liked, by the way, the sub-argument that started with – Between Vicky and Gretchen? Yeah. Where Vicky is going, I'm not scared of you, and Gretchen just goes, stupid.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Yeah. Stupid. You're stupid. I'm saying you're a stupid person. You're stupid. Oh, really? Really. Oh, you sure told me.
Starting point is 00:38:17 Yeah, I did. Wow. You two, debate club. Yeah. Meanwhile, Lydia's like, oh. Oh, fighting. Yeah, meanwhile, Lydia's like, I don't have it in me to laugh. Speaking of Lydia, she went outside to try and comfort alexis but vicky stayed inside because vicky is pretending that you know she's trying to play both sides of this
Starting point is 00:38:54 slash she needs to get to the bottom of all the drama um and this is when the two best quotes of the season um were delivered by alexis where she, I had to go on Xanax for it, Lydia, followed by, I should just go home and slit my wrists. No, no. Well, she didn't say just, I have to go home and slit my wrists. Lydia was saying, listen, for you to say this is bullying, people die. There are people who are dying because of bullying. You're sort of cheapening it. So then Alexis turns it around and says, so someone has to die someone has to die for to to realize these women are bullying me i have to slit my wrists okay that's where i've decided um
Starting point is 00:39:33 she's not being bullied and she should just be slapped upside the face i just when she said so someone has to die that was i i lost it and the xanax thing you know she probably was not on xanax she probably was eating you know lifesavers she probably was eating, you know, Lifesavers. She was probably eating Tic Tacs and or Flintstones vitamins. Someone probably fed her like some like Hanukkah gelt. And she's like, oh, well, this is from a Jewish person. So it must be medication. Like all those doctors.
Starting point is 00:39:59 You're all doctors except for you, a Bravo podcaster. Your mom is so proud my my other favorite quote was um was when vicky and alexis and and lydia were riding home and vicky was rehashing the whole baby thing that gretchen was like is it your baby and because i so stupid to say that and then she's like i'm gonna love on that baby to the day i I die. Can I tell you that one of my notes here that I actually took notes while I watched this was, quote, love on him. And then next to that, I have dash Vicky. And then I have next to that in all caps. Stop at exclamation point.
Starting point is 00:40:36 I cannot handle when you keep saying love on him. She has to write an R&B song immediately, like team up with Genuine or something. I'm gonna love on that baby till the day I die. Hey, can we talk about Vicky's face? I know we've talked about it a lot. We don't have to do it for the whole show. Yeah, why not? Every time I see her,
Starting point is 00:40:59 I don't think she looks that different. But then when they show flashbacks, I was gonna say, it looks totally different. then when they show flashbacks i was gonna say oh my god i'm so her with brianna to get the surgery and i was like that is a different woman oh my god this was i was i'm so glad you brought that up because when i was watching the show i was like this is like this is like the this is your life of vicky's face you know it was like 50 shades of vicky's face they brought back like a flashback from every season somehow they worked it in in this one episode they had a better face from season one they had it from like season four season five then they had her amazing like then they had her pull out a photo album
Starting point is 00:41:33 where she's showing brianna about giving birth and they showed her cut up vag while she was giving um a c-section and then then you see vicky's face from the 80s which is completely different from the vicky from season one. It was honestly like the most wonderful display of plastic surgery. By the way, did we need to see that photo of the C-section? I was trying to eat my dinner. You know, I actually happened to be looking down and I looked up at the last second and it like went away. And I was like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:42:01 I'm not going to go back to see what that red splotch was. I was delivered via-section and i i just don't know why women have children i don't get it i don't either i think we should just let the human race die out the reason why they have children proof of that i know stassi is the proof of that i know um okay i need i have a few more things that i need to touch here okay when they went back inside and tamra is still ranting like a psychopath she snaps at Vicky and she goes, so what? Now you're team Alexis? And it just makes me think that she's a complete hypocrite because, you know, Tamara was the one who was always so evil to Gretchen. But now they're best friends.
Starting point is 00:42:35 Do these two dummies not see that they are doing exactly what they hate about Vicky and Alexis? That would require some sort of personal introspection or perspective or critical analysis or something like that that they clearly don't have. Like pretty much the most that they can do is randomly recall this one little argument in San Francisco where Alexis got mad at Vicky. Like from three seasons ago, all of a sudden they keep trotting this thing out as if it was a seminal moment in all their lives, a seminal moment of bullying. That's all that they can do. That's all Gretchen can do. Is that the scene where they just keep showing Breanne like shoveling a Caesar salad down her gullet? Yes.
Starting point is 00:43:13 OK. She's going to love on that salad the day she dies. That's the next tank top I need made by Bravo TV. She's going to love on that Caesar salad. So do you guys, did you guys think it was interesting that Vicky's family came in town and her brother said exactly what I've been saying for the past three weeks? What is that? The brother said a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:43:35 Brother's like, oh, the refrigerator's moldy. That must mean that Don's out of town. Wait, wait, wait, wait. He sounds like he also smokes four cartons of cigarettes and sits by a NASCAR all day. So add a little more twang and some more smoke to that. He's like, where's Don at? He's like, where's Don? He used to hold this hole in my throat for me so I could talk.
Starting point is 00:43:58 By the way, I'm seeing too many commercials of that dead smoker lady with the hole in her throat on TV. It grosses me out. Soon to be played by Park overall in a TV movie, I'm sure. I would rather see, and I can't believe I'm admitting this, I would rather see the commercials of the dead dogs with Sarah McLachlan's angel playing in the background than I would of the old dead lady with the neck hole. Oh, yeah. I hate that lady. Me too. Rest in peace.
Starting point is 00:44:26 that lady me too you know what how come when our dog loses a leg the doctor's like put it down but when an old 70 year old lady with the hole in her throat is on a commercial everyone's like let's find a way to keep her alive hey listen you guys if i ever have a hole in my throat and i'm 70 just fucking kill me pour something down that hole pour some drink pour some drain okay whoever one of our users likes to post the favorite i love when she does the podcast i love that i'm sorry that is taking the cake right now i mean we're only like an hour into this but pour some drano down my hole is is up there ronnie i'm not gonna lie yeah that's a great that's a great moment and it's almost it's almost as good as you saying last week um like something about the brand is nice you said you said what brand you said what flavor are you drinking i'm drinking becks
Starting point is 00:45:10 and then ronnie quietly said that's not a that's a brand not a flavor well yeah you guys were drunk i mean i was just embarrassed for you guys last week i love whoever i'm looking it up i forgot her name i think her name might be emily but she always writes down her favorite quotes and i love it because it makes me feel like we're actually funny. I love the quotes. I love the quotes. Okay, I have a few more things to talk about. Wait, I'm not done with the brother because I didn't say what he agreed with me.
Starting point is 00:45:31 He agreed with me on that whole, well, I don't like this kid coming in here and telling you how you're going to live in your own house just because he pays you a little rent every month. And then we find out, which is what I've been saying, like, fuck that guy. He doesn't come in and tell Vicky who she can and can't date i agree yes he does no i agree when he said he put up the cameras i thought that was actually fucked up oh my god that is truly fucked up you cannot do that in someone else's house go put the cameras and then sit there and watch them in their own home excuse me by saying this you guys you're essentially defending Brooks, who is disgusting. I'm not defending Brooks. I'm defending Vicky's propriety. Look, Vicky is a— I'm defending Vicky's right to date scuzz bags. I mean, listen, I've got plenty of them. I don't want anybody coming in and talking to me.
Starting point is 00:46:14 Even Tamara finally has the right attitude, which is like, you know what? If this guy's going to be a gold digger or whatever, Vicky's got to learn that the hard way now. I learned that the hard way now. Okay. If Vicky is going to learn the hard way and if Vicky is going to be a 50 year old clown with a chin implant, then she should be able to tell her daughter, Brianne, you're not allowed to have your husband talk to me this way. And this shit is not going to fly in my house. But until Vicky has that conversation with Brianna, nothing is going to change. And my whole thing is if Brianna is going to live in that house with her husband and her baby and that is the deal she made with Vicky. Vicky needs to shut the fuck up or kick them out. You know what? I don't understand why Brianna should have just moved to the fucking
Starting point is 00:46:50 lake house that she fought for so hard that meant that Vicky couldn't get a yacht that one season. No, Vicky should have a spin-off where she summers in Lake Havasu by going down a lazy river and drinking beer out of a koozie. Yeah, she should reenact Heart of Darkness, except instead of going into Congo,
Starting point is 00:47:05 she's going to Lake Havasu on a boat. Because that's honestly, that's probably ten times worse than going on that boat down into the Congo. I would like to see Vicky have a spinoff with her family. They're hilarious. What was with her mom? Oh yeah, the mom was hilarious. I can't believe they put me
Starting point is 00:47:24 in jail. All I did was hit a cop in the face with a baseball bat what the hell she comes from they come from a classy family they do wait can we yeah can we talk for a second about uh gretchen's uh great gatsby is someone on our on our page called like a great gatsby hat, whatever. The ridiculous outfit she was wearing to do her, to clean up her house. Wait, are you talking about Alexis? Alexis. I meant Alexis. Her headscarf with her matching bedazzled sandal.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Her Zelda, her Zelda Buchanan look. And of course if you said like wow, you're dressed like Zelda, she'd be like, I don't play video games. She is such a moron. Oh my god. god okay um few other things here that were revealed did you guys know when uh this is when vicky is talking to brianna at the at the kitchen table while they decided to eat an entire deep dish pizza and a salad with lots of stuff on top of it i'm always fascinated
Starting point is 00:48:20 by what next next is next to the iconic cal sign. The iconic Caliente sign and the ceramic big-ass chicken rooster on the marble island. So classic. So in addition to seeing Vicky's guts during her C-section, we also found out that Vicky cannot sit down and have dinner until she fixes the crooked chair in the dining room because she has OCD just like me, and I totally get that. But then we also found out that she bought her own first and second wedding rings. From DJ Maxx also. But how funny was that that Brianna was just like, heh heh, that sucks. So Vicky was having an emotional moment.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Brianna's openly mocking her. Yeah, Brianna's laughing and staring down that pepperoni pizza. Yeah, she's like, Mom, we've been talking for 10 minutes. Our pizza's getting cold. Meanwhile, Brianna's got like five diamond rings on one finger. Hey, maybe that's why we're over budget in the military. How the hell is
Starting point is 00:49:18 that military guy getting all those damn rings? And I'm like, she's complaining about that baby having diarrhea, and I'm like, you're to eat a deep dish Little Caesar's pizza. Good luck, bitch. You're going to be on the pot with that baby. Well, you know what? I hope that Brianna's sex drive is dead and she never plans on cheating because he's going to catch her and he's going to kill her.
Starting point is 00:49:38 Yeah. He's like, it's like sleeping with the enemy. Totally. He's like a guy from a Lifetime movie. You're like, oh, he's so, he works a lifetime movie you're like oh he's so he works out he's soft-spoken he's a good southern boy this is great and then a couple years down the line you're like why is why is he in the parking lot at work like he's just sitting there for hours well it is it's a class and billy campbell is going to play him in the lifetime
Starting point is 00:49:59 movie network uh version of this and jamie lunar will play brianna it's perfect and vicky and vicky i love her and vicky will play herself and uh she will save her daughter ultimately by bashing in billy campbell's head with of course the caliente sign and then he's gonna get back up she's gonna think he's dead and he's gonna get back up and chase her to the garage and then she's gonna close
Starting point is 00:50:21 the garage on his head to like finally kill him but then he'll get back up again and she'll have to finally stab him with a fleur-de-lis cookie jar. You see her in the middle of the night like sharpening the fleur-de-lis atop that cookie jar because you know she's going to need it as a weapon. But then she's going to think he's dead. But what will happen is at the end of the movie, he's going to crawl over to the neighbor's house and it'll be Gina Keough. And she's going to take him in and be like, no, Vicky. No, Vicky. You know, she's just not very nice.
Starting point is 00:50:49 No, I'll take you in. She's not nice. She's not nice. This is your fault. I'll take you in. I'll take you in. Frank, you moved out. You can move in here.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Oh, my God. Hilarious. OK. A few other things. And then he'll move out of there because he's like, well, I can't deal with Gina. Then we had that horrible little like 40 second segment of Colette screaming in the back of Heather's car. And it made all the sperm in my body that is yet to be produced curl up and die. But you know what?
Starting point is 00:51:15 That was such a good scene to demonstrate what assholes kids are. Because that kid is screaming in the back seat and she's like, say tree. She's like, meh. Say slide. Meh. Say house. Meh. Say dad-dad. kid is screaming in the back seat and she's like say tree she's like say slide say house say dad dad little bitch well isn't that the famous like bill cosby thing that carlos mencia then plagiarized where it's like like the dad like the dad plays catch with the kid the dad takes him on his first bike ride the dad teaches him how to shade the dad does this the dad does that and the kid finally graduates from college he goes i want to thank my mama um is
Starting point is 00:51:48 i don't really follow too many beaners is carlos mencia a beaner we have to talk about that i could not believe that tamra said that about eddie yeah that was shocking slash it's tamra so I totally can believe it. I'm actually, call me crazy, I'm not familiar with the term beaner as an epithet. I'm assuming it's a derogatory term for Mexicans? Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows
Starting point is 00:52:16 Ava Richards, played by HBO's industry's Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be or be eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all coveted academic top 10
Starting point is 00:52:35 curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:53:10 You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus. From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History? Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less
Starting point is 00:53:46 In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some. As a fighter for black rights, she is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere
Starting point is 00:54:02 on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Black is beautiful. Good call. Ronnie, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:54:16 Of course. Hello. You guys have never heard the term beaner? It's like... You're our resident... I'm not racist, so I don't know. Because I'm from El Paso. Exactly. So that's why I'm asking. I'm not racist, so I don't know. Because I'm from El Paso. Exactly. So that's why I'm asking. I'm passing this off to you.
Starting point is 00:54:28 In addition to asking you how to properly pronounce Guacamole. Well, I ran into, I was in this thing this weekend called the Puppet Parade, the Million Puppet March. Yeah, what was that about, by the way? I saw the photo that you posted. What was that? Where did you march? And I was mortified for you. What was that?
Starting point is 00:54:45 It was Lisa Vanderpump on a float with Stassi in this book? Oh my god. Well, no. My friend Michael made this Facebook page called The Million Muppet March after Robby. Is Michael the one that you posted that random Instagram photo of that I'm in love with?
Starting point is 00:55:01 What was it of? Some hot dude wearing shorts outside of your house. Oh, no, that's my neighbor Brian. He's cute, right? You could date him. What's the deal with that one? He lives next door. He is Bueller's auntie.
Starting point is 00:55:15 He takes care of Bueller a lot. If you called him an auntie, I'm assuming he's a homosexual. Yeah, he takes care of Bueller. He's like Bueller's other daddy. He's really nice. I'll hook you up. Okay. He's not very manly, though. I'm going to tell you that right now. He's care of Bueller. He's like Bueller's other daddy. He's really nice. I'll hook you up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:55:26 He's not very manly, though. I'm going to tell you that right now. He's kind of girly. Do you like a man? Well, you like him. Lamey, right? Wait, is he a lady? No, but he's not.
Starting point is 00:55:36 You know, like, I like Walker Texas Ranger. You want to bone Chuck Norris? Well, just that kind of guy. Like, a guy who's like, hey, I want you to make me some cornbread while I'm out in the field collecting money. Well, then I think you better go back to Texas because that's not happening in West Hollywood. I know. Yeah, so far. So anyway, I was in this puppet thing and I ran into somebody from high school and he's Mexican. And we were just talking about high school and stuff and we said
Starting point is 00:56:06 the word beaner i think 10 times and my friend was totally offended and i was like it's different when you come from el paso because we're all mexican like whether you want to be or not you know but well you're ethnically you're ethnically ambiguous yeah well beaner is basically a way it's like the polite person's way of saying spec like you're just you're not supposed to say but what does but what does beaner stand for does that mean like i want some beans and a taco yeah just just because mexicans eat a lot of beans i don't know it's not the most creative you know well then why don't you just call them like guardi because they're all gardeners well we're not that racist yeah i mean yeah you're, you're just mean. You're just being mean now. You're just being totally ignorant now.
Starting point is 00:56:48 How do you just call them dollar store? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, there's lots of different ways. And trust me, what they call us is way worse. What do they call us? Well, wait, you're Armenian. I'm not Armenian. He's Persian.
Starting point is 00:57:02 I'm kidding. Not Persian. I would not be living He's Persian. He's Persian. I'm kidding. Not Persian. I would not be living in such squalor if I was pregnant. You'd be living in MJ's palace right across the street from Ben's apartment. Oh, God. Sleeping in a Hummer limo. Wait. Passed out.
Starting point is 00:57:19 With Xanax all over because she's been bullied so much. Xanax all over more like little baby hamburgers all over. Sliders made of Xanax. Xanax sliders. What do they call white people? Gringos. Gringo. Why is that bad? Well, to them it's bad. I mean, to us
Starting point is 00:57:38 it doesn't sound bad. Okay, well, what would Eddie call Tamara? Bitch. Puta. Or girlfriend. He probably would call her girlfriend because he's a homosexual. He would probably call her, I don't know how you say the bank in Spanish, but he'd probably call her the bank because she's bringing in some money. Speaking of narrow- You should call her the wig. How do you say wig in Spanish?
Starting point is 00:58:00 Los wigos. Speaking of narrow-mindedness, how about Vicky's family that's like, yeah, there are not a lot of eligible guys out here in California. They're all kind of feminine. They're all kind of gay. Not gay. It's like, what? And then they call that Eddie. They're like, you know, like Eddie. wearing a trashy like you know that has that's written by like affliction or monarchy with like a bedazzled florida lean nascar on the back of it you piece of white trash kidding and he probably stopped at every truck stop on the drive over and took a shower just hoping to get a little secret bj yeah exactly i mean i mean unless i mean category expert i mean listen if they're gonna be casting stones for you to be casting stones i mean let's not look too much farther than Vicky's sister there who looks like she might have been a fan of Martina Navratilova.
Starting point is 00:58:53 I am a fan of Martina Navratilova. Why do you call Martina Navratilova? I think that's the whitest thing you've ever said. And she's white. That's a white name. Navratilova? How do you say it? Navratilova. No, Navratilova. Navratilova. And she's white. That's a white name. Navratilova? How do you say it? Navratilova.
Starting point is 00:59:07 No, Navratilova. Navratilova. I guess it is. I just never say it out loud. I just usually say that Dyke who plays tennis. Oh, I'm going to stab you with a tennis racket. You guys, that's just the kind of mood I'm in today. I'm still in bed, okay? It's like five-something.
Starting point is 00:59:23 You are still in bed? I am sitting in an office building in Santa Monica. I'm sitting in an office building in Santa Monica and it took me two hours to drive home from work. He's just trying to stave off all those effeminate guys that are outside. Yeah, I'm not going outside because there's just beaners and queers. That's what
Starting point is 00:59:39 California is. Yeah, exactly. My mom used to say the land of fruit and nuts, but we'll switch it to beaners and queers. That's fine. Oh, my God. I wish there was a beaner queer around here for me. Don't you love that my mom used to call it the land of fruit and nuts? She's so kind.
Starting point is 00:59:54 So kind. You should get her some Shari's Berries. Guess what? I'm going to get a double dose because for an extra $10, you can get some extra ones. Just make sure you don't get confused and send her the Dollar Shave Club for men. Fuck Mother's Day. I'm depressed. I'm going to send my mom a card that says thanks.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Thanks a lot. You know what? For all you single people out there, by the way, that were feeling depressed on Valentine's Day like myself, you should send yourself, instead of sending your mother a gift, you should send yourself some Sherry's Berries. Give it up. They've already listened to 20 minutes of those ads. Okay, listen. Can we move on? Now, before we move on to the next show, we have a news break.
Starting point is 01:00:35 Breaking news alert. This came in 14 minutes ago while we were yammering on about fleur-de-lis and various racial epithets. Oh my god, I see it. This came in from Amy M while we were yammering on about Fleur de Lis and various racial epithets. Oh my god, I see it. This came in from Amy Mabry Cundiff. And the headline is from Media Takeout. Exclusive.
Starting point is 01:00:55 They faked it. Cordell and Portia from the Atlanta Housewives faked their divorce. They have heard. So now the article says, From an impeccable source, that Portia and Cordell do not plan on getting divorced. Further, they say that they never planned on getting divorced. And then this insider said Portia found out that she was not going to come back on the show, and both her and her husband Cordell desperately wanted to stay on
Starting point is 01:01:21 The Housewives. That's why they concocted this scheme. So the insider said they figured if they created a fake divorce like Nene did, it'd be enough drama for them to be asked back. So Mediatakeout.com confirmed this with a Bravo exec that Portia was officially dropped from the cast and that once Cordell filed for divorce, both Cordell and Portia were asked back. What? Okay. I don't believe that Portia was ever dropped from the show. Why would you drop Portia?
Starting point is 01:01:49 She was so cute. Please use her proper voice when speaking about her. I'm a woman, and I care about marriage, and my man wants a piece of toast. I'm going to toast that piece of bread. I know I'm not perfect. I never said I was perfect. But give me credit for doing the best that I can. I try 265 days a year to be perfect.
Starting point is 01:02:13 I want to be like y'all. I come to y'all for advice. And y'all tear me down. You tear me down. I'm like Rosa Parks. That lady who got on that bus. And she was like, I don't got money for no bus. And he said, then you can't ride it.
Starting point is 01:02:30 And so she jumped on top of the bus and she rode it all the way downtown. And that's why I always get on top of vehicles. I get on top of moving vehicles to be like Rosa Parks. Remind me to dust this episode off next February for Black History Month because this is a classic. No, remember next year it's going to be Black History Year. It's just going to get longer. It's just going to get longer. And then after that it's going to be Black History Decade.
Starting point is 01:03:00 Oh, my God. I'm looking at myself for the first time today. I think I gained weight overnight. It's possible. Okay. So, well, that was fake. Do you think that that was fake? I don't think it. I don't believe it. Of course it was fake. Can we please talk about the best show on TV, Married to Medicine? Yay! That's a perfect segue.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb right now and say that Married to Medicine is my favorite show currently airing on Bravo. And it is up there. It has surpassed Vanderpump Rules, and it is knocking on gallery girls door no no no nothing touches guy girls that's why i said it's knocking on it's it's knocking on its door meaning knocking on amy's dusty old vagina it's it was it knocking on end of century it's knocking on it wants to buy a lease there's a for lease sign there it wants to buy a painting but unfortunately um what's her face is off in Paris being hipster. Are you guys not obsessed with this show? I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Oh, I am obsessed. I am extremely, extremely obsessed. I love it. I think it's great. Actually, you know what? I posted my first and only Vine video the other day. And so, Ben, you're not going to be the only one with audio now because I made a Vine video of the best quotes from the latest episode of Married to Medicine that I'm trying to pull up on my phone right now.
Starting point is 01:04:12 Oh, my God. I tried doing that, but I couldn't find a way to put text over the video. Do you know how to do that? No. Are you kidding? I just learned how to do my first Vine video. Do you think I know how to add text? Vine is not great.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Yeah, I was trying to get i was trying i got one i posted one on twitter of quad saying um yeah of quad saying her like we we if you ask me we could all use a little bit of etiquette help or whatever i got that but i need a text by the way while you guys look it up also thanks also thanks to Roland Poland for that great picture of Mariah in her flying saucer beret. I'm the one who then posted it as our cover photo. Fine, but Roland Poland found it first. Whatever, Roland Poland. God, Roland Poland, you're getting like an audio handjob. Wait, could that be our new band name, Audio Handjob? I'm really...
Starting point is 01:05:05 I have to say, the, we all needed to go to an etiquette class or two was a great quote, but my favorite quote of Quad's was later on when she goes, are we in the hood or are we in Pups in Paris? Oh, by the way... It's hard to tell, quite frankly, sometimes. Quad is the best thing happening on the show. I love Quad. No, I think Quad's best quote was,
Starting point is 01:05:22 the best thing happening. I love Quad. I think Quad's best quote was, kicking and a knee slapping, honey! Kicking and a knee slapping! Here we go. I'm playing my Vine video. Can you hear the audio? Okay, I'm going to try. It's playing right now. ...
Starting point is 01:05:35 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:41 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:41 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:42 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:42 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:42 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:44 ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Starting point is 01:05:44 ....................................... Low down, dirty scoundrel. Okay, if you can't hear that, what it says is it's Mariah going, it's not about the ooky, the spooky, the nooky, or the wookie. And then it cuts to Quad going, you're a low down, dirty scoundrel. I loved that when Mariah had to go to a different Halloween party that Bravo, and someone knows this on Facebook too, said, the Chiron said, some other Halloween party. Wait, wait, wait. That is my note here there was nothing funnier in the history of bravo than when it said some other person's party like whoever is working on this show is either like a intern that's like 18 years old that doesn't give a fuck or they are a brilliant genius who's like, that is fucking funny. Well, let's go back
Starting point is 01:06:26 a little so people know what we're talking about because you know everyone's not watching this show. Yes, they are. The ratings are good. There was a big party at a dog store that Quad was throwing. And there was also a Halloween party. Yeah, it started with a Halloween party. The ooky spooky Halloween party.
Starting point is 01:06:43 Toya's ooky spooky Halloween party. Yeah, let's start with Toya. Toya's spooky Halloween party. Yeah, let's start with Toya. I'm having a Halloween. I have came to this Halloween party so many times. I invite the drug cazar to this party. I love when women, they say they're going to get together to bake, are cutting. They're not even cutting.
Starting point is 01:07:01 They're taking the pre-cut cookies off on the wall. And she's like, oh, has pumpkin pumpkin designs on it oh and i love when she decided that she doesn't want to have uh mariah at her party because they got in that fight so email that she concocts right it's an email her husband's like she's like well what do i say in the email and her husband's like you ain't fucking coming that That's what you say. The email that she writes is like a rejection letter from Princeton. It was hilarious. Thank you for your consideration.
Starting point is 01:07:33 We've reviewed your case. How awful is that? Thank you for your consideration is more degrading than when anybody on the Real Housewives of New York calls you honey. We would appreciate you have not come to the party at the house that is our. We're gonna we're going to disinvite you now from our party and for the foreseeable future you're not
Starting point is 01:07:56 allowed to come with any other kazars or any things of the such and like. I love that Carrie showed up dressed like the cat woman like a slutty cat woman of course oh my god but did you notice i'm such a bitch but she was wearing a top from target i was like it's like the sportswear line from target that i would never be caught dead she wearing clothes from target and and using an iphone 3gs i have struggled like she's not that rich ben she might have struggled but Like, she's not that rich, Ben.
Starting point is 01:08:25 She might have struggled, but she has not struggled with shopping at Target for athletic I have struggled with Halloween costumes for 20 years. I have had a struggle with Catwoman in particular. And I told Duncan that if I cannot find an appropriate Catwoman costume, I will go to Target. I have done this without the help of a party planner. And that's just the way it's going to be. It's a very personal struggle for me um she's ridiculous and i she her lips getting worse
Starting point is 01:08:53 because now her tongue is just randomly coming out at unscheduled times she doesn't even know how far her tongue is coming out you can tell she can't tell what her mouth is even doing anymore most people that have those squeezed around the neck sort of like bart simpson you know yes people that have those injections their their lips are either incredibly puffy or they get wrinkled but hers have you noticed on the upper lip there are two like projectiles yeah she got she got the lisa rena implant i think she i think she tripped and fell on a cactus. It looks like there's two zits popping out of the top lip. Yeah, because she got full school implants. I have struggled with lip acne for the past 20 years.
Starting point is 01:09:33 It is a very private struggle, and I don't appreciate you making light of it. Yeah. It's like when you save up to buy a new MacBook, and then two weeks later, the new one comes out that's not exploding on people. That's basically... I've seen older ladies with facial surgery because it's like if you had just waited, you wouldn't look like a pretty house.
Starting point is 01:09:56 I have implanted my lip with MacBook technology that has exploded. Okay, what do you guys think about Carrie and um buying that office space and then trying to lure all of their cast members into buying some of the office space um it's like it's like yet another sitcom yeah i think that was that that went into the territory that i didn't care about like as much as i complain about them fighting if they're not
Starting point is 01:10:21 fighting i'm like why am i watching this yeah i didn't i didn't really care about the office space either i have to say. Yeah, I was like, I don't care. But I did love the reaction of Dr. Simone. Okay, well, I'll just have to come look at that one day, one time, maybe someday.
Starting point is 01:10:37 Could you imagine if Dr. Simone were the landlady? She'd be like, where's your rent? Your light! Your light! Your light for your rent! While she's eating a cookie out of a bag. Can I just say that it was another week in a row where she was the best
Starting point is 01:10:53 thing on the show. Love her. She's great. She and Quad, I think, are just great. Oh, no, Quad is the best. Can we please talk about this puppy party? I cannot deal because you know how much shit we talk about Gretchen and Vicky's housewares and how they are obsessed with faux Parisian accents. My God,
Starting point is 01:11:11 this was a puppies in Paris party, but this was actually so like above and beyond ridiculous. It was like, okay for me, like quad, you can see quad was like, you know, she's just like having fun.
Starting point is 01:11:20 She's like, let's do something really silly for the dogs. And let me give silly for the dog. She was sitting in the back with a makeup artist artist getting her face put on before she went out to listen clown makeup has never had such a boon as when the show has been in production but um she's like no fighting until you write a check no one's leaving till i get a check we are? We are walking down the box-a-lise. I just made that up.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Or the bark-de-triumph thing. Yeah. I have to say, I hate Mariah, but I did crack up with her robotic dog. When she put it down on the ground and it scurried along, I could not stop laughing. I rewound it like five times to watch that little robot dog scamper away. Why has somebody not made us a gif of the scampering robot dog? Please, someone. Now, speaking of vile things,
Starting point is 01:12:13 probably the most vile thing of the entire episode, of the entire season, was when Mariah turns to her little daughter Lauren, her cute little innocent daughter, and is like, Honey? Yeah, you do it, Rami. You do it, Rami.
Starting point is 01:12:26 Now you tell her... You ask her why we weren't at her party. Go ahead and ask her why you weren't allowed to come to her party, baby. That was not cool. It felt like it was a moment out of Precious. It was so disgusting.
Starting point is 01:12:44 You don't make your seven-year-old a pawn. It was one of the worst things I think we've seen on Bravo, honestly. Yeah, that was pretty bad. At the same time, what do you have children for if not to use as pawns in your games? That's true. Or clean the bathroom. That's true. Yeah, that was semi-sad, but I love the answer because your mom is an asshole.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Yeah. Your mom has been mean to me. I have came here to be nice to your mom, but your mom was mean to me. But I love when she tells us, I cannot believe that she would utilize her daughter in such fashionables. What? Learn to talk. All these women, before filming started, they all sat down with a thesaurus and tried to get like a few two and three syllable words that they could pepper into their confessionals. And it's just not working. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:33 She's like – I remember one time I heard an interview with I think Sugar Ray Leonard and he had just learned the word irrespective. And he was like, well, this is what I know. Irrespective of everything, irrespective of the game, I think this went very well, irrespective of what you might be saying. I'm like, okay, you learned the word irrespective. Congratulations, Sugar Ray Leonard. I've always remembered that. It's like I have came to that memory so many times. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:14:01 Okay, so they kind of just had a calm little argument. Neither one of them started beating the crap out of each other. Boo! Only because Mariah's ghetto mother was not there. Yeah, exactly. Plus, Mariah was probably distracted by the weight of her enormous beret on her head. Yeah, that was, from beginning to end, that was a pretty embarrassing sight. It looked like a giant piece of pepperoni from Cloudy a chance of meatballs had fallen on her head if that were the case brianna would have
Starting point is 01:14:28 been there to eat it up on top of a extra large pizza don't you mean lauren manzo they're like what one of our one of our pepperonis got away bring it back to kafache kicking and the knees are laughing honey is this the hood or Pops in Paris? Wasn't she saying, like, if your dog bites me, I'm going to sue your mommy. I'm going to sue your mommy. That was Mariah. Yeah. Gosh, she's just awful. I liked her in the beginning of the season, and I hated Toya.
Starting point is 01:14:54 And now it's totally reversed. It's all about quad. Honey. Quad is the best. Honey. Honey. Honey. So what else happened on that dumbass show?
Starting point is 01:15:05 That was it, right right there were the Halloween episodes the eye shadow was out of control Mariah's makeup artist is like seriously should be working for RuPaul's Drag Race did Dr. Jackie do anything I think she's she yelled at Dr. Simone for eating a cookie out of a bag for lunch
Starting point is 01:15:22 cause she's that boring well she's that boring. Yeah. Well, she's going to have a lemon squeeze next week. But I think they're so funny. I love those two together. I could just listen to those two bitch at each other all day long, the two doctors. Yeah, they're the best.
Starting point is 01:15:37 And they're obviously the smartest. So let's move on because I think we're done with this show. Guys, I did not watch The Queen of Versailles. I wasn't sure that – I didn't realize that's something we're gonna be talking about this week on constant loop i saw it in the movie theater last year but bravo bought the rights to it and it is the perfect like segue in or out of any episode of the real housewives and they will be playing it non-stop for the next five years yeah really good so if you guys have not watched that you should watch it i didn't watch it on bravo i watched a while ago on netflix so i won't go into too deep details except to say that the maid sleeps in a dollhouse in the backyard but um watch that if you haven't
Starting point is 01:16:15 watched it and did you guys watch the real housewives of atlanta final final final final episode 24 oh my god this show lasts for more than half a year oh my goodness i know keeper sutherland would have finally been done with the terrorists in this episode i mean honestly the show started airing four weeks before the latest episode of married to medicine even started filming right oh no actually i'm sorry it started november 1st or something like that fucking crazy whatever but it was really it was really funny it was hilarious it was so good ronnie didn't you think though that it made it seem like poor phaedra half of her season was left on the cutting room floor because that hour was you know i would say 70 of the lost footage was dedicated to phaedra and apollo yeah basically phaedra and apollo were much more
Starting point is 01:17:05 fun and nice but apparently phaedra just got the bitch out of the season which explains why she was so pissed off at the end because they didn't show any of her fun stuff but i still think that phaedra came off looking good this season so the fact that this season was the bitch at it is pretty crazy well we liked her but she's she gets a lot of heat on the internet. That's why when Andy says, so, Phaedra, did you enjoy the season? She's like, no, not really. And she wasn't even looking at him when she said, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:34 Well, one of the, the show opens with, you know, and they actually did spend too much time on this, but Andy opens up the show discussing a rumor that was swirling around because of something that Portia had said to Kenya or didn't say to Kenya. And anyway, long story short, too late. She was kind of suggesting that Cynthia and Nini had a bizarre relationship and that they were possibly a secret lesbian gay couple.
Starting point is 01:17:58 Whoa. Yeah, which, I mean, that's not too far off. But, I mean, who cares even if they are? But it was funny watching Portia try and backtrack and make a huge deal out of it because she totally said it. What else do you mean when you say that's unnatural? I mean, what else could she have meant? I hate when people use that word unnatural. It makes me so mad.
Starting point is 01:18:21 Listen, I think if you're talking about anything that Portia says says it could have a lot of meanings because she usually used it incorrectly well what else happened in that matt other than that i talked more about it but that's all i remember i blocked the rest of it out they talked more about um kim and did you think that you know how long ago did she check out from the show okay okay here's here's the thing i can remember. They showed a scene of Kim with her daughter Brielle Brielle, right? sobbing because she's getting bullied at school because Kim is such a fucking whore
Starting point is 01:18:53 on national TV that her kids are being tortured in school, right? And yes, there was Chick-fil-A in the foreground. And you feel bad for her because she shouldn't have to suffer just because her mom's a gigantic asshole. But here's the crazy thing, Ronnie. Then, you know, Croy starts to speak about, you know, how you got to let the haters go and all this kind of stuff. And he was actually making some kind of sense.
Starting point is 01:19:20 But then Kim, being a dumbass that she is, just keeps chiming in and she keeps going, it's just because you're so damn cute. My cute baby. No, this is what Kim does, okay? Kim looks totally bored that she even has to listen to her daughter sob. And then she goes, oh, well, I understand. Because it's like when Nini strangled me last year. And she turns it into her and starts talking about how Nini abused her. Like, really?
Starting point is 01:19:44 This is like the worst motherhood it's this is the week of some really bad motherhood on bro you're allowed to compete with your friends for this bullshit but when you're starting to compete with your 16 year old daughter it's truly pathetic i'm surprised that kim didn't just say okay honey just stop stop crying we go chilies and make it all better i'm surprised she didn't turn to the cameraman and go um let's cut this moving on um they also talked i mean you know cynthia can't get over the fact that she was she and phaedra i guess the entire cast really but she and phaedra then you know putting a few more digs against kim about how if they're you know gonna show up to work that kim should also be responsible and have to show up as well and part of me gets that but the other part of me is like you know what kim and nini are the stars of this goddamn show and they're giving you all a
Starting point is 01:20:28 paycheck so if they don't fucking want to shoot one day shut the fuck up yeah yeah but see that was my problem with kim the past couple years on atlanta she was never with the other women it's like ronnie do you everything is about her trying to make her own damn excuse me and i don't like watching nini in hollywood with her bullshit walking around a rented home that's empty. I don't like that either. I mean, you're part of a show. It's not about you. It's about y'all. It's not just
Starting point is 01:20:54 Kim doing that. NeNe is part of this issue. Oh, NeNe's the worst. NeNe's just so fucking typical. It's like she knows she's an asshole, so she comes back and fakes it the whole year so that people will think she's nice. And sure enough, we're all so fucking stupid. Everyone's like, I love NeNe. Really?
Starting point is 01:21:08 Do you remember that she was a terrorist the past two years? Well, they all have to look out because Kenya came on real strong this past season, and she's going to be the new star. Even though she's terrible, she's going to be the new star. Well, I don't know about that because now there's rumors floating. Is Kenya getting booted from the show? Is Phaedra getting booted from the show? Is Portia getting booted from the show? I don't know what booted from the show is porsche getting booted from the show i don't know what's going to happen i think that they're all going to come back and those rumors about kenya were silly
Starting point is 01:21:31 because they were based on her blog that was did we talk about this last week i don't remember but her bravo blog was like saying goodbye to every woman individually but and people were saying oh that means she's leaving it's like uh or it means that the season is over yeah the ratings are through the roof i actually don't think any of them are going anywhere i think they're going to try to just insert one or two more people yeah i think they'll probably bring on nini's cousins or whatever the hell yeah i think oh my god i think that would be amazing because nini's cousins have been doing a twitter storm as of late, pretty much saying that Nene is a charade and her whole divorce from Greg was just to get a spinoff and to drive ratings and to get her a big fat paycheck,
Starting point is 01:22:13 and I kind of believe them. I believe it too. Bring it on. Heffa, Heffa. Speaking of Candy, Candy's kind of boring on the show, but I watched her Candy Factory out of desperation last night. And maybe that's why I'm depressed today. I really need to get a life.
Starting point is 01:22:28 But I watched that Candy Factory show. Oh, my God. It was like a home remodeling show for children with no talent. I say something about you, and it's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean? Never gets old. Never, never gets old. I say something about you, and it's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean? never gets old never never gets old doesn't even make sense see see riley
Starting point is 01:22:56 riley riley you're gonna sing? See, the way Mama sings is like... Well, this is her own... Okay, the most annoying thing about the Candy Factory is that it's basically just an excuse for Candy to sing every episode. Because she writes each kid a song, and the demos are her singing these pop songs. Right, which means she then puts them on iTunes, and they still don't sell as well as Target for the Party.
Starting point is 01:23:26 Oh, shit. By the way, Don Juan, her manager Don Juan, tweeted at me this past week because I said that I actually had one of the Candy Factory songs in my head and I tweeted that. And so he tweeted back at me. He's like, oh, which one? And I said, which one?
Starting point is 01:23:39 Whatever. And then I said, you should have Candy come on our podcast because we love her. And he didn't write back. Because then he listened to the podcast and then he heard you guys doing the voice of Riley, Mama Joyce and Candy. And he was like, no. I think Candy would. Hey, you both got town.
Starting point is 01:23:56 The only one of you gets a chance to get a career. See, the way I see it is that, you know, you're really good, but you have good ideas too. And you're like, right. Right. You're Candy Reza. Candy Reza. I like Candy Reza. So these kids are terrible, but there's a different one every week.
Starting point is 01:24:19 And whoever wins gets a chance to launch their career. Can somebody explain what that means, A chance to launch their career? What does that mean? He's not even on a major label right now, so good luck with that. She's on Riley's label. Riley Records. So anyway, that show was not as terrible
Starting point is 01:24:39 as I thought it would be. Yeah, that's all right. Sort of forgettable, though. All I could say over and over, and this is someone who moved at 18 years old to be a performer. So, it's sad
Starting point is 01:24:52 that I'm saying this and hypocritical, but every time I see those kids, I'm like, get a job. Wait, excuse me. Did you move to LA at 18 to be a performer? New York. Really? We are learning about each other. Yeah, my 18th birthday got on Greyhound, boo. You are kidding me.
Starting point is 01:25:08 Everybody's talking. I'm one of those people on Chopped who would be like, I deserve to be on Chopped because I was homeless for two weeks in New York, and I deserve to win. And I'll cry about it until I'm 70 on TV. Were you homeless in New York? He gave a lot of handjobs.
Starting point is 01:25:24 Yeah. You ever see Midnight Cowboy? It's the Ronnie Carom story. Well, thankfully, I was raised a born-again Christian, so I was way too prude to do anything like that, or I would have been making some money! Oh! Oh!
Starting point is 01:25:39 I'm Lydia, and I'm haunting you! I cannot wait till Lydia has her own Halloween special. Be like with Snoopy. Chompers. Okay, do we have anything else? Yes, we do. So we didn't talk about this during lost footage of Atlanta.
Starting point is 01:26:00 Apollo becoming a model and meeting Tyson Beckford. Hey, thank you for making me a model. I think I can do this. You just give me some eyebrow makeup. I do whatever you want. That sums it up. And then there was also, you know, when they were at the end talking about, like, what are people working on next or whatever, Cynthia keeps trying to pretend that the Bailey Modeling Agency is happening, even though we know it is not happening. And she was saying that she's going to be doing a second Miss Renaissance
Starting point is 01:26:28 or whatever the hell it's called. And then Kenya chimes in, pop that fan, and says, oh, well, Andy, there's going to be two pageants next year because I'm doing one myself. Oh, snap. Oh, snapperoo. Yeah. I can't believe that.
Starting point is 01:26:44 Yes, she's going to try and have little pageants. Whatever. I say something about you, and he's like, oh, she just, you know what I mean? You're in charge of music today.
Starting point is 01:26:56 Could you just loop that clip over and over for 30 seconds? Wait, here's a bonus. Here's a bonus. Kim Richards. I want you to tell me, oh, are you okay? And then I see you outside the door. you tell me, oh, are you okay?
Starting point is 01:27:05 And then I see you outside the door. You're like, oh, it's the O's again. Oh, my God. Love it. The only three soundbites we'll ever need. Camille, Candy, and Kim. Let's end it. I'm about to drop the mic.
Starting point is 01:27:24 All right. Andy and Kim. Let's end it. I'm about to drop the mic. All right. So guys, um, you can find me, Ronnie at TV,
Starting point is 01:27:29 Gazem on Twitter. Um, you can find Ben at B side blog and you can find Matt at life on the M list. Find us on Facebook at facebook.com slash watch what crap ends or on Twitter at what crap ends and leave us some reviews and stuff on iTunes. Buy you some Sherry's berries and some razors. And I think that's itppins. And leave us some reviews and stuff on iTunes. Buy you some Sherry's Berries and some Razors. And I think that's it, right? And Instagram. But Ronnie makes it difficult, so you can follow him on Instagram at RonnieKaram.
Starting point is 01:27:53 And you can follow me and Ben at our actual Twitter handles because we like to make things simple for you. Yeah, and follow us. I'm going to change my Twitter handle to RonnieKaram, too. Okay, so anyway, thanks, you guys. Have a great one. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye, so anyway, thanks, you guys. Have a great one. Bye! Bye! Bye! Getting a good shave can be a real pain
Starting point is 01:28:22 in the ass. You have to search through 50 different brands and models, matching new blades to old handles that stop being compatible, paying for bullshit features where your razor doubles as a flashlight or a vibrator or a toothpick. Who wants to pay $20 for some new razors? Join our society of smarter men. Go to dollarshaveclub.com forward slash bravo to get high-quality razors delivered to your door for just a couple bucks per month.
Starting point is 01:28:46 They've made it simple. They're high quality razors, 100% guaranteed, sent on schedule so you never have to think about it again. Every month you get a new pack and every week youchaveclub.com forward slash bravo to get high quality razors delivered to your door for just a couple bucks per month. They've made it simple. They're high quality razors, 100% guaranteed, sent on schedule, so you never have to think about it again. Every month you get a new pack, and every week you change your blade. It is that simple, people. DollarShaveClub.com has made it easy to get a good shave and to save some money while you're doing it. I get a fresh blade every week and it feels fantastic. Liza Slicinger. Slicinger. I've been friends with her for 10 years. One of the funniest people out there,
Starting point is 01:29:45 and I still have a hard time with the last name, Liza. Our very own Owen Benjamin, that's me, takes you on a musical journey down internet rabbit holes and much more. You don't have to wait any longer. Just go to youtube.com slash waitfortcomedy. There's no need to wait for it anymore. Because it's here. And it's funny. And it's funny.
Starting point is 01:30:06 And I love you. A few days ago, Brooke Tudine posted an inspirational quote on her wall that got 17 likes and 3 comments. Thumbs up, Brooke. Geico also wants to make a comment. In just 15 minutes, you could save hundreds of dollars on your car insurance by switching to Geico. And nothing says inspiration better than saving money. Well, except for those posters that say things like teamwork, excellence, and make it happen. Hashtag keep climbing.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Hashtag savings. Geico. 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on car insurance. Hey, Prime members. You can listen to Watch What Crappens ad-free on car insurance.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.