Watch What Crappens - #89: Eat, Drink, Yell At Each Other About Nothing

Episode Date: August 14, 2013

It was another live show on our TheTVClique: Watch What Crappens YouTube page. Ben Mandelker (bsideblog), Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) and Matt Whitfield (Yahoo!) got together to talk crap abou...t the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion part 1, the Real Housewives of Miami premiere, and Bravo's new excuse for women to turn on each other, Eat, Drink Love. We had a great time, and hope you do too! Come on in! Our YouTube Podcasts: http://www.youtube.com/thetvclique Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog Matt on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/lifeonthemlist Matt on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/lifeonthemlist See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:48 Welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast that's all about Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com, and joining me this week is the lovely Ronnie Caron from TrashTalkTV.com. Hi, Ronnie. Hi! And Matt Woodfield from Yahoo. Hi, Matt. Hi! Ronnie is at Trash... I'm sorry, Matt, but let And Matt Woodfield from Yahoo. Hi, Matt. Hi.
Starting point is 00:01:06 Ronnie is at Trash... I'm sorry, Matt, but let me just say this real quickly. Ronnie is at TrashTweetTV on Twitter, and also Ronnie Karam on Instagram. And then Matt is LifeOnTheMList on Instagram and Twitter, and I'm bsideblog on Twitter, Instagram, Vine, wherever. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. Hi. Hello.
Starting point is 00:01:27 This was a busy-ass Bravo week. There was a lot of good stuff going on this week on the Brobs. There's new shows, there's old shows, and we got gossip. There's so much to cover. By the way, facebook.com forward slash watchourcrappens. That's our Facebook page where we've now
Starting point is 00:01:43 crossed the 1,800 fan threshold. Thank you everyone who is supporting the show and coming and leaving comments. We love you all immensely. Yeah, you guys. And during these live shows, you can go to that Facebook page and we'll be reading your comments. That's why I keep staring at the computer screen. Yeah. And also
Starting point is 00:01:59 we'll be reading your comments while we do it. And you can also tweet at us. And for people who are listening to this on iTunes, on the podcast, that includes... Seriously, is your dog barking already? Because the mailman has to come every time. Like, maybe we shouldn't do this at 4.30 because that's when the stupid mailman comes. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:02:16 The dog is the most professional part of our podcast. Oh, blame the dog and not the postal service. The dog is actually, like, one of the... It's like we're the housewives, and Bueller is, like, a friend not the postal service. The dog is actually one of the... We're the housewives and Bueller is a friend of the housewives. Bueller is like the Camille of the group. Trying very hard to show. Bueller is a Cedric. He just takes on my crap
Starting point is 00:02:36 and makes me pick up his poop. Never gives me thanks. Never even talks to me. Before Bueller started rudely barking, if you were listening to this on iTunes sometime later this week know that we are recording this live on YouTube and if you come to our YouTube page
Starting point is 00:02:51 youtube.com forward slash the TV click and subscribe, you'll be able to find out how you can watch us live because those of you who are watching live are able to tweet questions at us and write comments on our Facebook page and we'll answer your questions over the course of the podcast, which is really, like, awesome of us,
Starting point is 00:03:08 so you're welcome. No, no one's on board with that. Matt, do you have a light that you can maybe shine on your face? You're looking a little backlit right now. I'm in a conference room, but I suppose that I could shut... That is not the answer to my question. Would shutting a blind
Starting point is 00:03:27 make it better? I think so. I think that'd be lovely. Even though it's a beautiful view out there, I think maybe we could... I love that you're art directing me. I am. You know, why not? I want to make it nicer for the viewers. We have to art direct after that episode of Real Housewives of Miami. It's all glossy and slick.
Starting point is 00:03:43 I know. We want to make you look as beautiful as the women of Miami, because we know that you are even more so. Should we start with some gossip? We have so much to get to. So the breaking news gossip that I think we're all going to maybe talk about right here is actually like sad gossip. I feel bad calling it gossip, but
Starting point is 00:03:59 Ashley, our favorite little munchkin from Princesses Long Island, suffered another stroke, I guess today or yesterday, which is like a downer. So I don't know. We can't really laugh at that. Is it confirmed? Did it really happen?
Starting point is 00:04:14 Well, Casey, I think, tweeted saying, like, sending my prayers to my girl Ashley, who suffered another stroke. I'm not trying to be rude and awful, but that's my role in this threesome, so I'm just going to put this out there. But Chris Brown suffered a stroke a few days ago in a recording studio. A seizure. Oh, there's a difference between a stroke and a seizure.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I forgot. Thank you for just liking it. But I loved the idea that you were about to take Ashley and Chris Brown and lump them together because that's probably... She probably had a vision of the future, and that's probably what gave her the stroke. They should probably...
Starting point is 00:04:51 Somebody smart online should do, like, a remix of Ashley crying into the Blackberry. With, like, mash that up with, like, a great Chris Brown hit. Oh, no. No, we need to wait for Ashley to get healthy so we can make fun of her again. I mean, seriously, disease, get the fuck out of our way.
Starting point is 00:05:12 We're trying to do a show here. It would be really nice to be able to rag on her and say she got a stroke because she probably saw a couch on someone's porch, but we can't do that because she had a stroke. So thanks a lot, stroke. Thanks a lot for ruining my afternoon. You just said it, so it's out there. But in all seriousness...
Starting point is 00:05:27 There was an if there. There was a woulda, shoulda, possibly coulda, had she not had a stroke. But I wouldn't say that now. Well, I would say, in all seriousness, I mean, you know, we make fun of her for a lot of her awful behavior on TV, but I don't think we want her
Starting point is 00:05:42 to actually suffer another stroke. So I get, you know, get better at it. No, if she has a stroke, she won't be back on TV for but I don't think we want her to actually suffer another stroke. So, you know, get better, Ashley. No, if she has a stroke, she won't be back on TV for us to make fun of for another season, and that's just unacceptable. Get out of our way, stroke. Shut up, stroke. Yes. I think this is really funny that you guys actually think that Princesses
Starting point is 00:05:58 is coming back for a second season, so... Well, I mean, the drink hankies are not going to sell themselves. Well, I think that in addition to sending Ashley your prayers and well wishes, you might want to send some to the gods at Bravo to hopefully get this show back on the air because I don't know that it's necessarily being greenlit again. I'm going to throw some bread in the water. I'm going to console dads.
Starting point is 00:06:22 What a waste of cards. We've got to come back for another season. What a waste of cards. Welcome back to another season. What a waste of cards. Who else is going to throw bread in the water and cover dildos and drink hankies? Guys, come on. Come on. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:06:35 I'm going to come back for a second season. Great, Mac. All right. There's like five goats outside my building. What other gossip is there? Oh, Ashley, another Ashley, is trying to give us a stroke. Ashley from Real Housewives of New Jersey
Starting point is 00:06:49 tweeted a naked picture of herself. Thanks, Ashley. It's probably what did it. I don't want to look at that. I'm surprised this... I looked at it, and it's just a little boob cleavage. It's nothing like that big.
Starting point is 00:07:01 She's wearing panties, and she's just covering her areolas. Who hasn't done that? True. True, true. Actually, I think the big gossip aside from this Ashley thing, the stuff that we're seeing the most on our Facebook page is, as predicted last week,
Starting point is 00:07:17 we're now getting all the dirt about Ryan Culberson, Brianna's husband, and it's all falling, the bottom's falling out for him. So basically his ex, he was married to a woman, and while he was married to a woman, he apparently had a girlfriend who filed domestic violence charges and a restraining order against him. This is before Brianna. So did you guys know any of this? I didn't know his past at all until I started reading this on our Facebook page.
Starting point is 00:07:47 So thank you guys for posting that. I clearly should be doing more homework in all of my spare time. But the crazy thing is this just proves that the history of picking bad dudes runs in the family. I mean Brianna has been so rude to Vicky this season about Vicky's choice of boyfriends. And look at who the hell she's actually married to. Yeah, exactly. I mean, this guy is a lunatic. And so he claims in these interviews, well, you know, the show, they didn't show the full story.
Starting point is 00:08:18 You know, there was a lot more to it than that. I don't care what the full story is necessarily because I don't understand where, as a Marine, you can just say these things to a woman and someone who's older. I think he says, or some people say, well, it's a double standard because the housewives yell and say all sorts of awful things, and then he says something that's not allowed. You're like, yeah, that's right, because you know what? You can't be part of
Starting point is 00:08:38 an organization that advertises itself as saying it's a higher standard. It's not like he was saying something mean about somebody or got into a little petty fight with somebody about something. He's calling an older lady
Starting point is 00:08:53 a fucking bitch and about to hit her in her face. There's kind of a difference between what the housewives do and what that prick does. That guy needs to just... I hope that he gets a Jennifer Lopez on his ass and just gets his ass kicked. I hope that's an episode next year. I hope so.
Starting point is 00:09:10 He's going to wind up kicking Brianna's ass and probably Vicky's too. He married a Mack truck. He's not kicking that ass. She'll bring this ass down. Brianna's not going to just sit there and get beat. Brianna's like Oprah in the color purple. You're not going to beat her.
Starting point is 00:09:25 Harpo will try to smack her. He'll is like Oprah in The Color Purple. It's like, you're not going to beat her. Harpo will try to smack her and he'll be laid out in the cornfield. I can't wait until Oprah gets nominated for an Oscar for The Butler so we can see her smack all those bitches down at the Academy Awards. She's going to fight Meryl Streep. I just know it's going to happen. I hope so.
Starting point is 00:09:41 Especially with Meryl, she puts her feet up on her couch. She's like, no, it's not allowed. Especially if she has a glass of red wine. Especially if Meryl Streep prevents Oprah from trying to buy a handbag. Oh, yeah, don't do that. That's like the second time that's happened to poor
Starting point is 00:09:57 Oprah. What the hell? It happened a couple of years ago, too. She was shopping and they wouldn't let her in the store. She's only a god in the United States. In Europe, they don't give a fuck about her. Well, you know what? Here's the thing. This thing in Switzerland, okay, that was definitely racism going awry there.
Starting point is 00:10:14 Well, racism is always going awry. But it's definitely a situation where it's like, oh, you can't afford that. But the first one in Paris, the Hermes store was closed, and Oprah showed up 15 minutes after it closed and she demanded to be let in to buy a bag. Admittedly, it's poor business to not let Oprah into your store or let anyone who wants to buy an Hermes bag into your store.
Starting point is 00:10:35 But Oprah, the store is closed. I'm sorry. You can't make a big international hullabaloo about it and make the owner, make the president of Hermes come onto your couch and apologize and all that stuff, because you showed up late. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:10:47 Oh, God, remember those days? Now you don't have to show up on Oprah's couch for anything, unless you're totally desperate like Lindsay. Yeah. Sorry, Oprah. Sorry. Bye. Okay, so now we've gone off topic already.
Starting point is 00:11:01 I have three other things that I would like to discuss from the Facebook page. Yes. First of all, let's talk about that photo that Caroline Manzo tweeted earlier this week on a red carpet and Ashley was there and girl has a new nose.
Starting point is 00:11:15 No doubt. Oh, new cafe-ce. New cafe-ce. I think that maybe she was, you know, digging for too much egg salad, you know, with her hands tied behind her back, you know, like, diving, you know, bobbing for apples. She's bobbing for egg salad. Something must have happened in the nosular area, the nasal area. Yeah, she was going straight for the egg salad, but there was one of those sneeze guards over the salad bar in one of the Vegas places.
Starting point is 00:11:38 She just like pecks at it. When she's at the deli counter, she just pecks at it. I love in the previews for next week of Jersey, it's Vito like, how dare you say no to me? And she's like, whatever, I don't care now. I've lost weight, so now I don't care. Like, honey, don't you guys realize
Starting point is 00:11:56 that that's the point of losing weight, so you can be rude to the people that you really don't want around you, so you can move on to better people? It's his own dumb fault. I hope that you don't learn the lesson that that weight doesn't necessarily stay gone. That bitch is going to be fat again in two seconds. Not saying you are.
Starting point is 00:12:11 Not pointing at you. But Lauren, girl, come on. How long can you resist egg salad on a nice everything bagel? Her daddy will buy her another round of gastric bypass, I'm sure. I mean, that's how it works in that family.
Starting point is 00:12:25 If there's a problem, Albie Senior cuts a check. There may be such a thing as a gastric bypass, but there ain't no such thing as an egg salad bypass, okay? Okay. I love that you gave me some swerve on that. I did. You ain't shrinking my egg salad, okay? You can put as many lap bands as you want around us, but that egg salad's still
Starting point is 00:12:46 going in. Okay, but back to the point, she got a nose job. Yeah. It actually looked pretty good, I thought. I don't know. I have to say, you know, if you're going to get the work done, make sure at least have it be good. And she did a good job, as opposed to Ashley,
Starting point is 00:13:02 whose face looks like it's a cool toy. Would you guys date somebody that you know has had elective plastic surgery on their face? I have a hard time. Oh, really? Why? I don't like
Starting point is 00:13:17 male plastic surgery. Let me try to do my male plastic surgery face. We're talking about male plastic surgery, right? Not female. Yeah, male. Male is different, because I think we're so about male plastic surgery first. We're talking about male plastic surgery, right? Not female. Yeah, male. Male is different because I think we're so used to it on females. Wait, hold on. Ben, make a noise. Yeah, that is kind of male plastic surgery.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Males, I'm just not used to it on males. Whenever I see them at Starbucks, it just kind of creeps me out. Like, women, you're used to it. You don't even notice half the time. I was going to say, Ron, you live in West Hollywood, and you're not used to it? It's just, no, I'm still not used to it. It never looks right. It looks creepy.
Starting point is 00:13:53 I don't know. I'm from that whole double standard. You know, I grew up with that double standard of, like, men look better as they age, and women don't. You know, like, women are always complaining, like, well, how come men can get away with it? Like, that's always been in my mind. So I'm like, oh, I'm getting older. So it's like I'm older and fatter. It's better.
Starting point is 00:14:08 Someone just posted a picture of me on Facebook today from when I'm like 20. I'm all skinny, have hair. I was horrified, and it made me want to get plastic surgery. But then I was like, wait a second. I don't want you to ever have hair. I can't imagine you with hair. I don't like that. Yeah, I was like all skinny with hair.
Starting point is 00:14:23 And then I was like, no, I look better because I'm older and fatter, right? Right, Mom? Right? I think also that the science of male plastic surgery has not been perfected. Like, not that the female plastic surgery has been, but I feel like there are probably more cases of female plastic surgery. And so there are some, like, better uses for it. Not better uses, but there's better practices. And I feel like the male plastic surgery, and so there are some better uses for it. Not better uses, but there's better practices. And I feel like
Starting point is 00:14:46 the male plastic surgery you see tends to be pretty intense and severe. It's like a... And it just looks... It looks like Rob Lowe from Behind the Candelabra. It just never properly settles. Yes, it does look like that. And also, women have had to spend their whole
Starting point is 00:15:02 life worrying about vanity. Women have to shave their legs and their armpits. They have to do their hair. They've got to do their makeup. They've always had to go through all this shit. Wait, excuse me. Men don't. Gay men do.
Starting point is 00:15:12 I don't. I shave once a week. I mean, I shower, but I barely even iron my clothes before I go out. I don't have to do makeup and hair and all that. I mean, look at me. Is this going to shock you as an only child? I've never ironed in my entire life. I have no idea how to do it.
Starting point is 00:15:26 That is shocking and sad. I was going to make an Ashley joke, but I feel like she's off limits. Well, you might feel guilty about it, but I don't think she's off limits. I've never ironed. So what do you do? Go to the dry cleaner
Starting point is 00:15:43 or fluff and fold and make them do my laundry. Wow. Wow, Matt. We may have to give you a tutorial. I say if you don't have to learn it, don't learn it. I mean, that's ridiculous. Yeah. I didn't have to learn it until I got out on my own.
Starting point is 00:15:59 No, what you need, Matt, you need to find a good man who's going to do it for you. Romana did me just fine as a child, yeah. But as an adult, no. Unfortunately, this is not a border town. People won't just do your laundry for $10 a day. That's going to be the title of your debut record. Unfortunately, this is not a border town.
Starting point is 00:16:16 I'm sorry, but that will be like, that's a billboard hit right there. I have to say, I miss El Paso, Texas. I loved it there. There's this show called The Bridge about a serial killer on the border, and it takes place in El Paso, and they make it look even more dumpy and ghetto than it really
Starting point is 00:16:32 is, and I miss it. I miss that dumpy ghetto. I love you, El Paso! And I love you, $10 mains. I miss talking about Bravo. I was going to say I miss old El Paso. Yay, salsa! Get a rope. I was going to talk... Oh, get a rope. I was going to... I'll old El Paso. Yay, salsa! Get a rope. I was going to talk...
Starting point is 00:16:45 Get a rope. I was going to... I'll rope us back into talking about Bravo. So the two other items on my list are Adrienne Maloof, apparently, former cast member of Real Housewife of Beverly Hills, is opening up a restaurant down the block from Lisa Vanderpump's Villa Blanca,
Starting point is 00:17:02 and she thinks that she's going to take Lisa's business. What do we think? That was announced right before the reunion when she was fighting and trying to gang up on Lisa, and it failed then. She's spending all this money on a stupid fight that no one cares about. Hoof rhymes with Maloof. Get over yourself.
Starting point is 00:17:19 No one's calling you a horse, even though you have a horse face. Shut up, Adrian Maloof. Stop spending all your money trying to fight with somebody. Use your brain. If you can't fight with words, don't fucking fight with terrible restaurants. We've got enough of them in this city. You should fight, when in doubt, fight with the tinsel in your hair. That will always win.
Starting point is 00:17:35 I would never eat there because I would be afraid, first of all, for all the tanner that's fallen into my food, let alone the tinsel. The tinsel and tanner. You're assuming that Adrian herself would be food, let alone the chisel, the chisel tanner. You're assuming that Adrienne herself would be cooking, and we saw her pouring soap into the chicken breast, but we know that Chef Bernie would be the mastermind
Starting point is 00:17:54 in that kitchen. Because Lisa said so, and that's what started their whole fight in the first place, was Bernie can't cook, right? Yeah, and I don't think that Bernie can cook either. I'm not rooting for Adrian Maloof here, but I will say I have been to Villa Blanca, and it's kind of disgusting and tacky and dirty.
Starting point is 00:18:10 I went to Villa Blanca, and, you know, it is tacky. It's just, like, overly overdone whiteness. When you make everything white like that, it's bound to show stains immediately. I know. And it looks stained. It looks well-worn. I'll put it that way.
Starting point is 00:18:24 It looks like Adrian Malouf has been there about five times over. Just smeared. Skid marks everywhere. That's the name of her restaurant. That's the name of Adrian's restaurant. Skid marks everywhere? Just skid. Skid. Skid. Okay, so
Starting point is 00:18:39 what else? What other gossip? And then rumor has it that this season they're filming New York right now, Real Housewives of New York, and they're saying that Ramona and the Countess have patched things up, and that they're moving forward as pals. I do not like this.
Starting point is 00:18:55 As everybody knows, I am super team Countess, and I hate Ramona, and I do not want them playing nice. You know what happened in 1994, I believe? I believe that, believe that Yasser... The sign came out, and it was amazing. And aside from that, I believe that Yasser Arafat shook hands with
Starting point is 00:19:11 Yitzhak Rabin or something like that. Yasser Arafat, ace of base. So let me finish this. There was peace in the Middle East. Know your audience, Ben. There was peace in the Middle East, and everyone was happy. And you know what happened? It all fell to shit, okay? So Ramona and Luann
Starting point is 00:19:28 being friends, I give this all about five minutes to last. Well, Luann and Ramona have to become friends again, because they're the only two OGs. The rest of them are these new chicks who are already probably trying to kick them out of filming. Ramona's annoying as hell to be around. Everyone hates
Starting point is 00:19:44 her. They're probably trying to get rid of her, like trying not to film with her. And you know no one wants to shoot with Luann either because she was starting all this stupid bullshit last year that no one cared about. So I think that they're probably bonding against the new girls, you know? But if you hang out with Luann, at least you have a chance of showing or ending
Starting point is 00:20:00 up, you know, almost dead in the bushes. I mean, that sounds like a fun night, right? You could be an extra in a Pechanga Casino video. Or, I know with Luan, maybe one of your designer friends might get a big plug in Life and Style magazine, page 45.
Starting point is 00:20:16 That's true. I was doing her a favor, darling. I think Luan and Ramona, I want them to fight because they have the most epic wonderful brawls and they're so uncomfortable because the things that Ramona says are so nasty but the way
Starting point is 00:20:32 the way the Countess will then take these passive aggressive remarks and hurl them back gets me all hot and bothered I was just so upset because at the beginning before they started filming this season the rumor was that Countess was going to be downgraded, which threw my life
Starting point is 00:20:47 into a tailspin. I don't know what that really says about my life, but anyway, I was really freaking out about that, but I'm glad to hear that Luanne is fully immersed, and I'll take her however I can get her, even if that means she is, you know, patching things up with her emotional.
Starting point is 00:21:04 You know what I think about all that? I don't care. I'm still not over last season yet. These seasons have gotten so long that by the time they're done, I feel beat up, I feel sad and depressed, and I need the recovery time.
Starting point is 00:21:16 I don't want to hear about those bitches until they're back. That's the way I feel at the end of every podcast. Let's add another show every week. Yeah. All right. So what else? What's next? podcasts. Let's have another show every week. Alright. So what else? What's next? Where are we starting, kids? We've got to start on Orange County, I believe.
Starting point is 00:21:33 Do these ladies bring a reunion or what? They know how to bring it. It was fantastic. It was that perfect balance of being petty, shrill, and angry without being too bitter and mean like the New York reunion sometimes. So it was like, wonderful.
Starting point is 00:21:48 What are you talking about? It got mean fast. But like fun mean, you know? Fun mean, not like bitter. Like mean, fun mean. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It was very Matt Whitfield-y. Okay, great.
Starting point is 00:22:01 I think they've really perfected that whole art of just denying everything and lying over and over again, even when they're caught in their lies on TV. That was the entire thing. Everybody just lying about everything and getting totally caught but still lying about it, especially Vicky. I mean, Gretchen and Vicky probably tied in this first part for lying the most, getting caught in their lie,
Starting point is 00:22:23 and then sticking to their lie even though they just got caught lying. Vicky, though, emerged out of the hour as a winner because she went up against Laurie and Laurie was the worst liar of them all. So, Vicky looked alright. I beg to differ.
Starting point is 00:22:39 I beg to differ. The only good thing that came out of Vicky being on this reunion is that her plastic surgery has finally settled a little bit. She did not look terrible. I'm going to give her that. Oh, I thought her face looked good. In fact, I think that's the buzz on our Facebook page is that her face looked pretty good.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Oh my god. She couldn't even... She was like this the whole time. It's like her eyes open and separate. She's like, now you listen here, Lori. It's like, can you just keep them both open at the same time? I can't even look at you. No, it was an improvement. Having one eye closed was an improvement for Vicky. I liked it. And also, Blanche from the Golden Girls wore that
Starting point is 00:23:12 color like five out of ten episodes. Oh, snap. That's old lady peach. She needs to stop with that. Shut up, Vicky. She is an old lady. Well, listen. I mean, where do we even start? I have to tell you, the argument
Starting point is 00:23:27 out of all the arguments that we saw Please, please, please, please, please, please. The one that I know it's going to be your favorite one, Matt. The one that got me riled up the most and had the most I wrote the most notes about was Heather versus Lydia. Lydia, who I thought was kind of random
Starting point is 00:23:43 and dumb all season, but cute and hilarious at the same time, did what I have been begging on this podcast and pleading for for the past six weeks, where I kept saying, I'm just praying that when we get to the reunion, somebody puts Heather in her place, and Lydia came through for me. I don't even care what happens in the next two hours.
Starting point is 00:24:01 She put Heather on blast and made Heather look like an asshole, more of an asshole than Heather already is. Exactly. And she didn't even do it in a mean or aggressive way. She just sort of, like, plainly put Heather in her place. And Heather tried to put Lydia in her place, but Heather just comes off as, like, an
Starting point is 00:24:17 awful woman. Like, you know what? Heather is the sort of woman that makes chauvinist pigs call her the C-word. Like, I'm sorry. Like, when chauvinist pigs call her the C word. Like, I'm sorry. When chauvinist pigs refer to C words, she's the one. She's the one that makes it bad for all the other women. They're going to make a sequel to the movie She's the One starring Heather, but it's called She's the One, the Big C.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Heather's that girl when you're catering that, like, hires you, and she's like, hi, how are you? And you're like, I'm okay. And she's like, why was the staff talking to me? Yeah. She is. She's just a horrible, horrible, snotty human being who's never done anything to earn any of her money at all. And she pops out babies for a rich guy and thinks that gives her a right to treat everybody else like crap.
Starting point is 00:25:03 Shut up, Heather. Can we break? Yeah, go ahead. I'm ready to break it down. I wrote all these nice notes about it. Okay, then I'll let you start. Okay. So Heather's first moment of awfulness happened when Lydia was talking about clarifying her relationship with Alexis.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Because there was this whole thing about, well, were Alexis and Lydia really good friends or were they not good friends? And Alexis thought, Alexis was offended because she thought she and Lydia were really good friends and that Lydia had that downplayed difference. No, she's offended because Lydia didn't go to that dinner and start standing up for Alexis against all of these girls when she was just cast and they met each other two times.
Starting point is 00:25:39 Excuse me. Well, wait. I was going to say I actually kind of understand where Alexis is overly sensitive. We get this. I was going to say I actually kind of understand where Alexis is overly sensitive. We get this. But, you know, I understand where she was coming from. My problem is it's none of Heather's fucking business. Yeah, so that's what happens. So what happens is Alexis says, we've actually gone to dinner.
Starting point is 00:25:55 We've gone to dinner and stuff like this. And Heather turns to the lady and says, you didn't tell me that. Like, who the fuck cares, Heather? Like, was this like some conspiracy? Like, who the fuck cares, Heather? Like, was this, like, some conspiracy? Like, Heather has to be, like, kept on, like, the top level of, like, security access of Lydia and Alexis' relationship? Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:26:15 Yeah, and not only that, but she did tell her. We saw the clip of her telling her. And then during that clip, not during the clip, but during that episode, as far as I can remember, Heather was saying things like, well, I think you should know that if you're coming into a group of girls, this is how we feel about her, and you need to know that before you come into this group. It's like, really? What do they call it? Large Marge in the prison who rapes girls for their cigarettes?
Starting point is 00:26:37 That's her. Sidebar, Ben, did you just say absolutely not and not say it the proper way? Absolutely not! Absolutely not! Quad is in the house, ladies and gentlemen. So then, we then sort of like floated into cover
Starting point is 00:26:53 gate, which is when Lydia did not have Heather on the cover of her magazine. So Heather's still really mad, but she says that what really pissed her off was not that she wasn't selected to be on the cover, but that Lydia and Lydia's husband, Doug, then laughed at them for asking to be on the cover. And it's like, when they showed the clip, it's like, they weren't laughing at you, like, ha ha ha, how silly of her to ask about it. They were laughing because it's
Starting point is 00:27:17 probably like, of course, like, you know, like, of course, everyone wants to be on the cover, like, and you know, like, how annoying that we don't have to deal with this. That's what that laugh read to me like. But of course Heather takes it as a directed insult to her. What did you guys think about that? I hate Heather. That's all I have to say. I absolutely hate her guts. I think Heather sucks. And then my favorite part was when Andy Cohen was like, well, you did put Lisa Vanderpump on the cover.
Starting point is 00:27:41 And then Lydia goes on to say, well, she's a bigger, more famous star. Yeah. Not only that, she said, look at their IMDB pages. She rates higher. She's got a higher rate. And then Heather's like, and that was rude. Heather's like, little rude comments like that. It wasn't rude. It was like a real thing. Like, I'm sorry, Heather. You are not as famous as Lisa
Starting point is 00:28:00 Vanderpump. Like, Lisa Vanderpump at the very least has been on more seasons of Real Housewives. She has her own spin-off show. She's well regarded. People like her. You know, I'm sorry, Heather, you got nothing. That's the big difference, Ben. It doesn't matter what TV shows you've been on. It doesn't matter
Starting point is 00:28:16 what the ratings for Hot in Cleveland were versus the ratings for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. People like Lisa Vanderpump, and nobody likes Heather Dubrow. The end. Also, with that whole thing, in the magazine, Lydia did end up putting them in the magazine and giving them a 10-page spread, which
Starting point is 00:28:31 I thought they would only do if they got the cover, A, so they're blue, that whole stupid story, and B, Heather gets all pissed off because Lydia gave herself a bigger spread with two more pages, and Heather's response was, yeah, but it wasn't the cover. Booyah! Yeah. Well, you know, the other thing is, actually, what Lydia should just say is, you know,
Starting point is 00:28:48 the magazine's called Beverly Hills Magazine, Beverly Hills Lifestyle, and Lisa Vanderpump lives in Beverly Hills, and she's part of, like, Beverly Hills. That's all she actually really needed to say. But what I really, here's what I really appreciated, or I enjoyed, was that, so, Heather's trying to then bust Lydia, say, well, you know what?
Starting point is 00:29:03 You got ten pages, and I just, I think it's funny. I think we should, like, I think we should just laugh at it. I don't see why you, Lydia, can't laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation that you got ten pages, you know, when Marilyn Monroe only got eight pages. Like, why can't you just laugh at that?
Starting point is 00:29:20 Okay? And then, later on, Says the woman who has never laughed in her life yeah exactly then when lydia makes a joke heather is like well that wasn't funny that wasn't funny that wasn't funny well whatever happened to the woman who was saying you can't just like laugh at that why can't you just laugh at the absurdity see i'm glad that you guys finally realized that heather is just as much of a hypocrite as vicky gunvalson because she is and she's actually the worst ever yeah, she's not worse
Starting point is 00:29:46 than Vicky because Heather actually doesn't do anything. Vicky's worse because she actually has a life outside of being a frigid bitch at home. And so her hypocrite her hypocritical ality, her hypocriticalness is way more entertaining.
Starting point is 00:30:02 Yeah, hypocrisy. Thank you. It's because we're talking about this. Animosity? How do you say that word? Animosity? Animosity? There are a lot of discrepancies, guys. I'm sorry. But Vicky's is at least more entertaining because she has a life.
Starting point is 00:30:17 It's like, she probably did bone all the disciples. Like, you know, and why is everything 12? Why is everybody having sex with 12 guys? Like, that's a trendy number right now. That's as high as it can count. That's an incredible meeting making out with 12 guys on New Year's as friends. What's the number 12?
Starting point is 00:30:35 It's probably what every list on, like, BuzzFeed is right now, the 12 blanks. I know, exactly. The 12 donkey cocks that Vicky ingested during the album. So anyway, the Heather and Lydia argument then goes into this situation, this blog situation, where I guess at this Mexico bachelorette party the day after the strippers came in
Starting point is 00:30:54 Lydia made a joke like, hey everyone, are we still classy this morning? Which to me is like a totally fine little joke. It's like nothing. It's like it wouldn't even stick in my brain. It's like a joke like we were all like ladies. It's so purely. It wouldn't even stick in my brain. It's like a joke. We were all ladies. It's so purely and obviously a joke, right? Right, but Heather got so offended by that
Starting point is 00:31:10 and here's the real deal. You can't just laugh at that? You can't just laugh at that? Go on. Dear Heather, you decided to go on The Real Housewives of Orange County. At that point, your classy level plummeted. So now that you're being seen in a room with strippers on reality TV,
Starting point is 00:31:26 why are you really concerned what any of us think? You've already put your entire life out there for all of us to see, so guess what? Shut the fuck up. You know, at its core, Heather is extremely insecure. So when Lydia makes a joke about, like, are we still classy, Heather takes it extremely
Starting point is 00:31:41 personally because she thinks it's an attack based on her, and she thinks that because she's incredibly insecure. Same thing about this cover when she thinks that they're laughing at her, and she claims it's because she's insignificant. It's like, no, it's not about that. Shut down your
Starting point is 00:31:58 inflated sense of self-worth and just be realistic for a moment and take some of your own medicine and laugh at the things that deserve to be laughed at. Well, also, it's just so ridiculous that she would request the cover in the first place. Like, how fucking rude. Like, I asked you to be nice
Starting point is 00:32:13 if you would want to show your house off in my magazine and get some publicity, and then you have the nerve to say not unless it's the cover? Get the fuck out of here. I actually think that's why Lydia and her husband were laughing because they thought, like, how... It was bizarre that somebody who doesn't know them would immediately make that request, which,
Starting point is 00:32:28 by the way, is laughable. Yeah. There were a few other amazing barbs, though, that were thrown between the two. I mean, when Heather was like, would you like me to pop a vein? I thought that was a good line. That was a good line. Lydia trumped her, though, by going, like,
Starting point is 00:32:44 okay, princess. Yeah, that was great good line. That was a good line. Lydia trumped her, though, by going, like, okay, princess. Yeah, that was great, too. Well, because stupid Heather, she doesn't just say I'm sorry. She goes, oh, well, then I guess I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fine, I'm sorry. But it's not like a real sorry. So she's like, I said I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:32:58 And she's like, and Lydia, I love that Lydia just doesn't take it. She just shrugs. Yeah, it's obvious she's not't take it. She just shrugs. It's obviously not sorry. But Andy trying to stir the pot with that was hilarious. He just kept trying to back Lydia into a corner and she wasn't going to have that. You know, I normally don't like to go with the people that Andy Cohen backs, but if he's backing Lydia, which he clearly
Starting point is 00:33:26 is, I'm on board. Well, it was also hilarious watching Vicky and Tamara look like proud grandmothers as they watched Lydia fight Heather. That was hysterical. They kept cutting to them and they're like... Tear. Single tear falling down. They were all proud of her.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Single happy tear. Yeah, single grandma tear. Okay, single grandma tear. Okay, so let's start with the first fight, which was everyone's meaning to Gretchen. Okay, I love this, because this all went back again to Gretchen's affair that she had on the old man when he was dying
Starting point is 00:33:57 of cancer in the hospital. In season four. It's like, we're back. We're back to this bullshit again. It's vintage. It's totally... But the reason that we're back to this bullshit again. It's vintage. It's totally... But the reason that we're back to it is because Tamara is so evil. She makes friends with somebody and then says the meanest things. So during that OC100
Starting point is 00:34:14 episode, Tamara's on camera like, well, you know, Gretchen had a problem because we all saw her around town doing things that she was denying. It's like, why do you need to bring that up? You know? Yep. So, of course need to bring that up? No. Yep. So, of course, Andy brings that up, and Gretchen starts her whole
Starting point is 00:34:29 how she didn't cheat. But then we get to, well, I mean, I never said I didn't kiss him. I did kiss him, but it was on New Year's, and I kissed 12 other guys. Who cares? I said it on everyone's butt. They just passed me around. Why are you guys calling me a whore? It's like, that's because you're a whore. Because you are. I mean, you're being passed around on New Year's in a bikini by 12 you guys calling me a whore? It's like, that's because you're... Because you are.
Starting point is 00:34:48 You're being passed around on New Year's in a bikini by 12 guys. You're a whore. But they turned that into a 20-minute segment. I have to say, you know, like, this season I'm really hitting on Gretchen, but I actually maintain the same party line that I had many years ago in this debacle, first service, which is that I think, A, it's none of Tamara's business,
Starting point is 00:35:03 and she should shut up about it. B, Tamara probably does not know the full story, and I actually have always believed Gretchen when she said, there's this guy, I've had to get restraining orders against him, he's stalking me. If this guy calls up Tamara and says,
Starting point is 00:35:19 I love this Gretchen, this is the full story, don't you have to question this guy? Why would he, what sort of mental state is he in that he has to call this random woman he doesn't even know to tell all this information to you? And why do you believe it on face value? That's, I think, what's so annoying about this. Oh my god, Tamara showed up with all these pictures
Starting point is 00:35:36 printed off of her computer printer at home with her bailiff, Alexis, whipping them out from behind the couch and getting them all organized for her. We never even saw the pictures. Why weren't they showing them? Because they would show them flipping through them but the camera would never point to them.
Starting point is 00:35:52 I think they knew that no one really cared because there probably was not enough information on there to truly... They'd have to get permission from the guy who's got a restraining order against... or who has a restraining order against him, too. They can't just show his picture
Starting point is 00:36:08 after her making out with some guy. My favorite was Vicky's... her line of logic was her to go, Jeff is dead! He's dead! He's dead! Just say he's dead! I was like, that's really bad.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And I like when Vicky was also then complaining about Gretchen saying was like, that's really funny. And I like when Vicky was also then complaining about Gretchen saying, like, she's making Tamronite! She makes us look like we're idiots! I'm like, listen, no offense, Gretchen's not the one making you look like an idiot. Right. You started that a long time ago by yourself, yeah. I know. You didn't need any help.
Starting point is 00:36:40 And if anybody looked like an idiot, it was Gretchen for wearing that fucking crazy ass like, I don't even know where you would buy such a garment. I don't even know what it was. It was like she walked through a piece of fabric in a windstorm and it wrapped around her. She's like, okay.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah, she was like one of the hookers in Best Little Whorehouse in Texas about to kill herself. Is that a movie from the 70s? Spoiler alert. Matt, I just can't, I can't give you gay college every show. You're going to eventually have to do something other than sucking
Starting point is 00:37:12 a wiener to call yourself a gay. Watch some musicals. Wow. That was my stand. I just took it. I just took it! Wow. I think that you should start a Tumblr called Gay College because I would be your first subscriber. I also love the whole... Vicky was hilarious in this one, because she just lied about everything.
Starting point is 00:37:34 So, Vicky, are you and Don divorced yet? Well, yeah. Well, no. Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, no, no, yeah. She can't fully get rid of Don because they enjoy swinging together too much there are too many swingers clubs that they have yet to attend as a couple so they cannot break up
Starting point is 00:37:54 she's just such a liar and then what was the other thing Vicky she doesn't hate anyone look I don't hate Alexis I wish only the best for Alexis. And Alexis is like, I don't hate Alexis.
Starting point is 00:38:07 She's like, well, you know, I mean, of course, you're a business. You're a business. Oh, you mean Gretchen. You mean Gretchen. What did I say? Alexis.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Oh, God, they're all the same. Tip it. George County. I feel like Nini. Like, I can't watch that one. They all look the same. That's kind of how I feel. That's kind of how I feel whenever I go to the Abbey.
Starting point is 00:38:27 I just like when Viggy was like, I never use that word. I never. Which gets really placid. And how amazing was that? I never. What was the word in question? It was the C word, because Gretchen's like, what do you mean you don't wish me harm?
Starting point is 00:38:43 You're always calling me the C word in text. I think that it was actually the other... I got the impression that it was the other C word, not the short one, but the longer one. What's that? What's longer than that? Cock sucker? Counter-califragilistic expeditum.
Starting point is 00:39:00 I don't know. I actually thought it was sea sucker what? what's wrong with talking about sea sucker suits? not sea sucker anyway but the point is since when have you been embarrassed to say cocksucker? because I've been the one who said
Starting point is 00:39:19 the word fuck on this video cast like five times already and nobody else has cursed so I didn't want to say another word well we like to stay classy I didn't want to say another word. Well, we like to stay classy, Heather Dubrow. I don't pretend that I'm classy. I talk like a sailor. But anyway, so Gretchen calls Vicky out for this,
Starting point is 00:39:34 but my favorite part was when Tamara was like, Vicky, can you just admit it? I have the text right here. Yeah, I know. Vicky's like, I don. Just admit that you say horrible words and that you hate Gretchen. Just admit it. I don't.
Starting point is 00:39:51 She made me. Maybe Tamara made me say it. Vicky was clearly intoxicated, wasn't she? I'm convinced. She's had a little bit too much of Vicky's vodka. Too much bacon vodka. She's had too many bloody piggies. Well, I totally agreed with Gretchen
Starting point is 00:40:08 that it's okay when Tamara and Vicky go off saying all this stuff, but then they jump all over Gretchen for doing it. I think that that's so true. The thing is, Gretchen, it's like you're with Slade. I think that if you weren't with Slade, you'd have a leg to stand on. But right now, no one can respect you. You're with a misogynist
Starting point is 00:40:26 asshole who's living off of your money and not paying for his kid. Like, sorry, that's just how it is. Get a better boyfriend. And nothing rubs Vicky the wrong way more than something like that. So if Gretchen ever wants to be in Vicky's good graces, which again, she doesn't need to be, but that's the only way to get back
Starting point is 00:40:41 into Vicky's world is to get rid of Slade. And I love that Vicky's like, I'm so happy for everyone. I mean, I'm happy for her that she's got somebody. You know, I mean, so it makes me mad. And I hate her and I want her dead, but I'm, you know, at the end of the day, I'm happy for her. It's like, you're not happy for her.
Starting point is 00:40:57 You're a horrible, jealous witch. Vicky and Gretchen had an amazing spat moment when they just at one, just screamed at each other. They made these noises. Vicky said something, and Gretchen said something like, I'm not going to admit to something I've never done! And so I actually put that on Vine.
Starting point is 00:41:18 I'll show it to you. In case you're not following me on Vine, he's on a blog, here's what you're missing. I'm not going to admit to something. Here's what you're missing. Can you see it? Is it showing up? Yes, keep playing it. Can you hear it too? Yes.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Okay, make it stop now. Make it stop. Make it stop. To me, I said this is every single episode of the Real Housewives in the history of this press stop
Starting point is 00:41:49 stop it it sounds like a kennel oh god Ben stop wait wait guys guys guys guys guys it's transfixing Ah! Wait, wait, guys, guys, guys, guys, guys.
Starting point is 00:42:07 It's transfixing. Whoa, I'm crying. All right. Actually, Vine, it actually stopped itself. Vine was like, I can do this no more. Maximum amount of points. It was great. It was a great moment for me and for social media.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Well, Ben, earlier in this podcast, you alluded to being Team Vicky in the fight that she had with Laurie Peterson. And if I could, I would reach across this podcast and slap your face, because why would you ever be anything other than Team Laurie wearing Peterson? Because Laurie, the crack grandma, as in she's the grandmother to a crack baby, sorry.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Wait, wait, wait. Pause. We can't talk about Ashley having a stroke, but we can talk about a crack baby to clarify. Because that was, yeah, of course. Okay. Weren't the stories that Laurie just dropped off that crack baby at the hospital somewhere and left it?
Starting point is 00:43:06 Yeah, she probably, like, took back a bundle of money and said, like, this will be my baby now. A bundle of money will be my baby. Listen, Laurie, here's the thing, okay? A bundle of money will be my baby, and my crib will be the St. Regis. Yeah. She's like, I'll trade you for just a sack of gauze. St. Regis. She's like, I'll trade you for just a sack of gauze.
Starting point is 00:43:26 Given that all these women fudge the truth, etc., it's hard to know where the truth is. It's probably nowhere near this reunion. The truth is this. I actually believe Vicky's explanation about this crazy letter that she got.
Starting point is 00:43:42 I believe that Vicky handled it wrong and incorrectly. And I also believe it was years ago, and Lori should have gotten over it. And the truth is that Lori did come on to besmirch Vicky's good name, to besmirch Vicky's Caliente sign in her kitchen. And I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:43:58 Like, I believe Lori was more malicious in her intent than Vicky was. There's no denying that Lori was malicious and she took a paycheck to come onto the show to fight with Vicky. But she wouldn't admit it. She would not admit it. And I feel like Vicky showed more accountability. Ben! You just spent the past 10 minutes
Starting point is 00:44:16 complaining about how Vicky doesn't ever, you know, stand up to, you know, actually what she does and admit to things. Why should Lori Peterson? Well, but I'm saying Laurie Peterson doesn't have to if she doesn't want to, but if Vicky's going to and Laurie's not going to,
Starting point is 00:44:32 I'm going to say that Vicky is, to me, I'm going to side with Vicky on that argument. It's as simple as that. If I sense that someone is taking accountability and someone is not, then I'm going to look at the person who's taking the least amount of accountability and be like, Vicky doesn't take any accountability either. Vicky's like, oh, well, you know, I didn't know what to do with this information,
Starting point is 00:44:48 so I talked to Gina about it. Oh, really? You don't know what you're doing when you go to Gina with it? Come on now. But at least she said, you know what? I handled it wrong. I'm sorry. But that was also seven years ago, and she has a point, okay?
Starting point is 00:44:59 Lori, meanwhile, is like, I just came on here, you know? Like, I came on here, and that's what I did. If Vicky had said, if Vicky had said, look, I got some hot gossip from your ex-mother-in-law, and instead of telling you, I ran to the girls and told everybody about it, and that was wrong. But that's not what she said. She's like, well, I don't know. I just
Starting point is 00:45:17 didn't know what to do with that. I needed someone to talk to, so I talked to, it's like, she's decent. But I believe that. I believe that she would have done that. I believe that she would have gone to Gina and been like, oh my God, because I mean, I mean, No,
Starting point is 00:45:27 she would have said, if that happened between us and you didn't call me and say, Ronnie, some, the mom of your ex-boyfriend is like,
Starting point is 00:45:35 I mean, I don't even know who that would be. This is getting really hard to imagine, but if that happened and you went, you went to like Matt and spread it around in an email, I would fucking murder you
Starting point is 00:45:44 that you wouldn't call me. Well, Ronnie, I'm sorry, but you pushed me to it, so I have a letter here that was written by your mother, and she has the following to say. My son is disowned. He is an awful person and he has a tail. The end. So, fine. Well, thank you.
Starting point is 00:46:00 Thank you. Thank you for telling me about it and not spreading it around in an email forward. If you did forward that email telling me about it and not spreading it around in an email forward. If you did forward that email to me, I would be Gina, and I would tell everybody and then go to the OC Gazette and let them know everything. And demand that they put my name as anonymous. By the way, and believe Matt on this, because we once had a hilarious scenario,
Starting point is 00:46:20 like three years ago when we had a friend. We have two friends, one of whom... What are you talking about? I'm nervous. Don't talk about this. I'm not naming names. It was hilarious. So we have two friends who are both journalists. And one friend told the other one as a joke that I didn't like him.
Starting point is 00:46:37 This is a joke. And this friend freaked out. So this guy, he calls me up. He's like, Is it true you don't like me? I was like, no. Why did you get that? He's like, well, so-and-so said you don't like me. I was like, what? So I go to Matt, and I'm like, Matt, why is so-and-so, I was like, can you believe this? So-and-so just told, you know, the other person that I don't like him. And Matt's like, oh my god,
Starting point is 00:46:54 that's crazy, you know, so-and-so's like really like, he's a, you know, he's a real asshole. I was like, I know. And then, like, I get a call from so-and-so, and he's like, hey, Matt just told me that you were talking about me, why did you just come to me? I was like, oh my god, this is crazy. And then the three of us all went up to him and laughed about it. So basically, I have no idea what you were talking about right now. You don't remember that story? Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:47:16 The point is that Ben is basically Laurie. He just admitted that he would do what Laurie did. That's terrible. Do I at least get to be genius? No, no, no. I did what Vicky did. I did what Vicky did. That's what I mean. You did what what Lori did. That's terrible. Do I at least get to be genius? No, no, no. I did what Vicky did. I did what Vicky did. That's what I mean. You did what Vicky did. That's wrong. You shouldn't have done that. You should have called the other guy and said,
Starting point is 00:47:32 oh my god, now we're talking about dumb bitches that we don't even know. No, I'm going to defend myself. Here's the thing. It's like, am I going to sometimes you want to talk to a friend to find out, how should I handle this? How should I approach this? What tone should I do? Should I write an email?
Starting point is 00:47:47 Should I call? It's okay to consult your friend about something, okay? That's ugly. Put it away. That's his team I'm on. But you know what, though? Sometimes, when you consult a friend, that friend goes and blabs to everyone. Whether it's Gina.
Starting point is 00:48:03 But when that friend is Gina Keough, that's like writing it on your Facebook page yeah but here's the other thing when your friend hosts a podcast about gossiping about TV and also won biggest gossip in high school you should fucking know better well if I didn't know my friend was like that when I confided in him
Starting point is 00:48:21 then yes that's my fault but it's also an accident and therefore Matt I won't confided in him, then, yes, that's my fault, but it's also an accident. And therefore, Matt, I won't confide in you about person X and Y ever again! Do they even matter to us anymore? Uh, yeah, a little bit. Your friends are tiring.
Starting point is 00:48:39 Wow. Hey, I have a question, Robbie. That was not a yes and moment, Robbie. If you're so bored, why don't you pull down that guitar off your wall and play us a little ditty? I don't play that. I got that at Target for $10.
Starting point is 00:48:52 I need something to cover the wall. I was going to say, do you hang that on the wall to impress dudes so they'll come over and get it? No, it's horrible, actually. It's the worst thing I ever did because people are like, play me something. I only got it because I was going to learn how to play guitar
Starting point is 00:49:04 and I live in such a shoebox there's nowhere to put it, so I hung it on the wall. Someday I will learn to play. Damn it! We're going to start a band. Sorry, I was going to go back to the reunion here for a moment. The band reunion.
Starting point is 00:49:20 About Lori, though, I wanted to talk about Lori. The other thing that was ridiculous that she said was that she was never employed by Vicky. I mean, come on now. Laurie, yeah. Laurie is as bad a liar as the rest of them. And Heather did have a good point. Her story keeps changing. She's like, well,
Starting point is 00:49:36 he's dating this underage stripper, and then maybe she's 21, and then maybe she's not a stripper. Maybe it's just they saw each other at a poker game, and then maybe Vicky was having sex with people in bed, but maybe she wasn't. And then maybe Lori was in the room the whole time watching a movie with them and couldn't remember.
Starting point is 00:49:52 Lori's obviously lying. But I do appreciate the attempt to bring down Vicky because she deserves it. You know, I don't think that Lori is necessarily lying about everything. I mean, she kind of did screw up at the end where you know, she didn't make herself look amazing on the reunion, but, I mean, Vicky has admitted that she and Don both cheated on each other
Starting point is 00:50:10 repeatedly throughout their time together, so why would we really not believe that Vicky was banging every busboy in on delays? We've seen her. I mean, that trip to Cabo, we saw Vicky flirting with all those guys, and then we saw Vicky on another trip with Brianna and the insurance team. Stop scratching yourself. It sounds like I'm doing dirty things during this podcast.
Starting point is 00:50:32 So we've seen that Vicky's a total hoe, but the thing with Vicky admitting that she cheated on Don, that didn't happen until a whole lot of I never would! I never would! How dare you! I never! And then suddenly it was, oh, well, I've admitted that I cheated on Don. And he, what? What? What?
Starting point is 00:50:49 What did you do that? Vicky thinks that because she admitted that she and Don both cheated during their relationship, that gives her a free pass for everything going forward and everything in the past. And I think that is complete bullshit. Well, they're all liars and there's nobody to call them on it. You know, they just tell the same thing over and over again in circles. Lying, lying, lying.
Starting point is 00:51:10 And Lori was the same. She was just going, no, no. It's that over talking thing where they don't stop. They just, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then no one can win and then they just break the commercial and show a clip of something really boring. Like, remember when Lydia was on a boat with her husband
Starting point is 00:51:26 eating dinner and doing armpit farts? Wow. Good times. Good times. Okay, what else happened on R-H-O-C? Why was Alexis even there? I don't know, but I'm sure
Starting point is 00:51:42 the producers were wondering the same thing. Who do you think's coming back next year? Do you think Alexis stands a chance? No, she's done. She's done, right? She is done. Do you guys think that... Does Laurie have a chance of coming back,
Starting point is 00:51:56 or was Laurie there just to stir up this season, and then she's gone again? I think he was trying to bring her back, but Vicky's not going to film with her, so if Vicky's not going to film with her, So if Vicky is not going to film with her, then she can't really be back. Like Vicky kind of has that much control. I agree.
Starting point is 00:52:09 I think you're right. Do you think that Brianna has a chance of becoming a full-timer? From Wondery, this is Black History For Real. I'm Francesca Ramsey. And I'm Conscious Lee. What do most people think about when they hear the words Black History?
Starting point is 00:52:28 Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month. Exactly, exactly. There are so many stories of Black History that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February. And we are about to
Starting point is 00:52:44 flip the script on all of that. Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less. In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And a little bit more. She is a heroine to some as a fighter for black rights. She is a villain to others. Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad free on Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen everywhere on February 5th, or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Starting point is 00:53:12 Black is beautiful. Academy is a new scripted podcast that follows Ava Richards, played by HBO's Industries' Myhala Harold, a brilliant scholarship student who has to quickly adapt to her newfound eat-or-be-eaten world. Ava's ambitions take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after realizing she has no chance at The List on her
Starting point is 00:53:41 own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a secret underground society that pulls the strings on campus life and academic success. If she bends to their will, she'll have everything she's ever dreamed of. But at what cost? Academy takes you into the world of a cutthroat private school where power, money, and sex collide in a game of life and death. Follow Academy on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Academy early and ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus.
Starting point is 00:54:14 I don't think she would because she probably feels like she really fucked up in life by being on there and putting her husband on there because those two are being attacked all over the place. They are not looking good.
Starting point is 00:54:25 So do you think that we're just going to have Vicky and Tamra and Gretchen, Heather and Lydia as the five, or do you think that they're going to go cast somebody else? I think they'll bring in another... I think they'll bring in an Alexis replacement. OC needs six. The only one
Starting point is 00:54:41 that's getting away with five is Jersey, but I hate Jersey at this point. I don't even want to talk about it today because it's so boring to me, but OC needs a 6th for sure. Absolutely. I nominate myself. I'm looking at Facebook. I'm looking at some of the comments. I like what Katie
Starting point is 00:54:58 U-U-W she says, does Lisa Vanderpump know Sarah Rue? Very good point. I think that means that Heather really doesn't know that spot. She does. She was on Malibu Country.
Starting point is 00:55:15 Let's see what else. Kelly Big Red posted the letter, exclusive, the smoking gun letter sent to Vicki Gumbelson from the mother-in-law, the ex-mother-in-law. Dear Vicki, I want to thank you for taking my call today. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:55:28 This is a long letter, Kelly Big Red. Jesus. Okay. I can't read this whole thing. All right. Give us some highlights. We need some highlights. Come on.
Starting point is 00:55:39 I'm concerned for Lori because it's only a matter of time before she, too, experiences the real George Peterson. The George Peterson whom this family has known for many years. Over the years, I have watched George ruin the lives of innocent women and their children without remorse. He destroyed the life of my eldest granddaughter, Gina's first daughter, from a previous marriage. When I would come to visit, I had to leave the room on many occasions while George belittled, badgered, and chiseled away bit by bit Adrian's self-esteem. His relentless outburst would last for hours on end. Well, first of all, her name is spelled A-D-R-I-E-A-N. Adrian, that bitch deserved to get yelled at.
Starting point is 00:56:15 She can't even spell her own name. He was probably trying to stop her from walking into the street and getting hit by a bus. Sounds stupid to me. And also, this sounds like a really bored grandmother. Who writes letters to people on TV trying to bash other people? Stop it. Stop it, Grandma. But thanks for posting this letter. Alright, so
Starting point is 00:56:33 should we move on to Miami? Season premiere? Yes, please, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was my interpretation. You mean Jammie? So how do you guys like the new way that they're shooting this show? Love it. Love it, love it, love it.
Starting point is 00:56:49 I mean, we saw some of this last season, too. It's just been amped up a little bit more, but I love this with the glamorous telenovela look that they're giving it. Here's my thing. It's Miami. Do it in Miami. You don't have to do this, and nobody needs to worry that this is going to happen
Starting point is 00:57:03 for all the different iterations of this franchise. Let Miami, who is the lowest rated, try and do something different in order to gain a few more viewers so that we can keep it on for additional seasons. If Miami starts to tank this year, it's going to go away, and we don't want it to go away, people. So get with
Starting point is 00:57:20 the program, realize that it's kind of fun, kind of like the last season or two of The Hills, where it was over-the-top ridiculous, and guess what? I missed The Hills. Yeah, an alternate ending was released yesterday. Yeah, saw it. Thanks. I'm on top of it. But here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:57:36 Like, it makes sense for Miami to look glamorous and sexy and colorful, much the same way as whenever they show the B-roll in the stock footage of New Jersey, it looks like brown and dead and ugly and awful. It just makes sense, okay? It just matches the territory.
Starting point is 00:57:53 So when we... Yeah, and they're setting all those shots up anyway. They do it on every show, so why not just do it with a better HD camera and a little color correction and some music playing? I say I am so for it. I actually really enjoy the way it looks.
Starting point is 00:58:07 It's beautiful and it's sumptuous and it makes you want to be there. I know some people on our Facebook page were complaining because they say that it makes the show even more authentic and they really watch these shows hoping that they have some sort of realness to them, which, by the way, people,
Starting point is 00:58:24 that is not the case so uh sorry about that but um you know i love it like the whole state like the opening to me was just ridiculous and leah is waiting by the jet in her white mercedes to pick up joanna i was just like i felt like i was in a prime time soap opera like like fucking falcon crest and you know all of my like gay tinglys were going off. I loved every second of it. But then at the same time, it's totally undercut, because then when Joanna gets out and is kissing Roman, Leah's
Starting point is 00:58:52 in the backseat being like, hey guys! You know, she's like, don't be like me! What is that? We love Leah. So, speaking of Leah, so they're clearly setting up that the big rifts and the backbone of the season is going to be the spite between Leah and Adriana, wherein Adriana was revealed to have been married since 2008.
Starting point is 00:59:16 And Leah is sort of like, well, I bought your art. I did all this stuff. I supported you. As a single mother. As a single mother, and now I'm I did all this stuff. I supported you. As a single mother. As a single mother, and now I'm finding out all this stuff. This is an actual real fight. Rani and I,
Starting point is 00:59:31 we saw Leah, and Matt, you saw Leah a few days after us. There's some real stuff going on between her and Adriana. When we saw Leah, she was like, I hope I don't get the bitch at it. I hope I'm not the villain. What do you think? Do you think
Starting point is 00:59:47 the production is pushing us pro-Leah or pro-Adriana? I actually think it's kind of split down the middle because as much as you want to try and give Leah the bitch edit, Adriana is so crazy the way she acts with everybody in her life, including her husband, that I don't
Starting point is 01:00:04 really think that Leah has too much to worry about, because Adriana's going to dig her own grave. I agree. I felt like the show opened with Leah. Leah got the first word in, so she painted the view. Adriana and those girls sort of got the last word, because Leah didn't show up at that little
Starting point is 01:00:20 get-together at the end. But that being said, we saw Leah's take on it first. That colors it for us. And then when we finally see Adriana, she shows up late. It's all in a negative view. We're not seeing her as
Starting point is 01:00:35 a victim of such and such. So I think that Adriana is actually going to get the bad edit. Do you guys think that Leah is justified in being upset about this? I mean, she was really close to Adriana. It's not about this. It's not about this, I don't think, at all. I think that this is just something
Starting point is 01:00:51 she's using as like, and then I found out you were married! You know, I don't think that this is actually even why she's pissed. She's pissed because at the reunion, and they showed it, she's pissed because all the girls ganged up on her, and instead of having her back, Adriana just let them gang up on her and then
Starting point is 01:01:07 kind of kicked her while she was down. I don't think Leah cares and I don't think Leah cares about the whole being married thing as much as I think it's just something for her to hang on to in the fight. And also, I don't think it's about the editing. I think so far this season, it's going to be about
Starting point is 01:01:23 gangs of girls. I mean, Lisa even said it. Those girls are like a gang. And they are. They will take anybody down that they don't like, and they will help each other do it. The thing is, Leah is smart, though. Leah's a smart woman, and she's also confident and richer than all those other girls.
Starting point is 01:01:39 So, like, in a way, four girls versus one Leah is still kind of, like, Leah still may even have the edge, you know. Dare I say that, you know, I really dislike Joanna and I really hated her in season two, which is her debut season. Yeah. But I do like that Joanna seems to have Leah's back a little bit here. Me too. You know, they are a gang of girls, but I do think that Joanna could prove beneficial to Leah in some weird way.
Starting point is 01:02:07 I think so. Listen, I think whether Leah really cares about Adriana's past or not, I would find that upsetting, personally. And here's the thing. I got a text from a friend, and this text really, really, really is the exact thing that I thought when I was watching it. I'm going to pull it up right now. It has to do with a fight with Adriana and Frederick on the yacht that happened in the first part of the episode. So fake. Yeah, she goes, my friend says, can I share a Miami theory?
Starting point is 01:02:36 I think Adriana and Freddie staged that fight to reinforce the back story that the marriage license stopped there. No wedding because he called it off. Fight seems scripted and stupid and that Lee imitation was a non-sequitur. Anyway, they're dumb. No, that's exactly right and it was so obvious that that's what it was doing and she's yelling at Frederick and saying, oh, this is your fault and
Starting point is 01:02:55 now I'm embarrassed with all of my friends. No, bitch. It's your fault that you've lied for all of these years, not his. She's trying to rewrite history and then she goes, oh, they weren't really married. It was a marriage license. But she got married at City Hall. Shut up. We're married. Did she do this because she knew that this season
Starting point is 01:03:11 was all going to be about Joanna getting married to Romaine Lettuce, and she wanted to have a rival wedding? Or what is the point? It's not like Adriana was ever... Wait a second. It's not that Adriana's... Adriana was never in jeopardy of not being on a future season if it were to be greenlit, and it was greenlit.
Starting point is 01:03:28 So why would she need to do this? Because that's always been her storyline, that she's going to get married to Frederick. That's been her storyline since the first episode. And also, she's been telling people not to marry her. And she's waiting for a big TV wedding. But did she force it, knowing that Joanna was definitely going to get married on season three,
Starting point is 01:03:45 and she wanted to compete with that? Probably. But she also – yeah, I would say so. But look, she's shifty because she's acting like, well, it's just a license on paper. That's it. It's not like a real – it's not from God. It's not a real marriage. But at the same time, it's like, well, but you are getting tax breaks.
Starting point is 01:04:06 As someone on our Facebook page mentioned, it's not just like, oh, we just happen to have a license and that's it. You're totally benefiting from it all this time. Don't act like you've been single all this time. You don't feel married. I bet you feel real married when you get a good tax return because of it. Well, my question is, if she was married and it was a legit marriage, then what was she doing sleeping on the floor of her
Starting point is 01:04:26 art gallery with her son? I don't get that. Exactly. Was she just in a fight and she ran out of the house? I don't get any of it, but she's obviously lying. And Leah's maybe a little too butthurt about it, but I don't know. I think those girls are going to gang up on Leah big time.
Starting point is 01:04:41 And now I love that Anna, and then Anna all of a sudden, in the beginning we see Anna, who we all hate now. It's like, well, I don't care. I don't think it's a big deal. Who cares? It's not a big deal to me. It's okay.
Starting point is 01:04:51 So you're not like, so you're technically married, but you said you were, it's like, who cares? I'm like, where is this Anna who suddenly is casual about things? At the reunion, she was getting mad at Leah
Starting point is 01:05:03 because, oh, Leah, you used to be like an Avon lady. You never talk to people about that. So all of a sudden, it's like, it's not okay for Leah to have secrets. I think that Anna knew going into the reunion that she was not going to come back for season three, so she was acting like an extra crazy bitch to either try
Starting point is 01:05:20 and get on season three or because she said, fuck this, I don't care. And that continued on the premiere because obviously she's been downgraded and I think that she's just going to be as mean as she possibly can to garner as much screen time as possible. Yeah, absolutely. I want to talk about, for a second, I want to talk about
Starting point is 01:05:37 Mary Saul being downgraded as well and not being in the opening credits. I am not a fan of Mary Saul's but I do think that she should be a full-time cast member. Ew. Gross. Okay, this is going to sound very cynical and mean, but she doesn't bring anything to the table
Starting point is 01:05:53 except her mother. Okay, so that's what I'm getting at. You can't have Elsa be a main person in the opening cast and the opening credits. I mean, you should with Elsa with her box of rocks and sand. But in order
Starting point is 01:06:10 to have more Mama Elsa, I'm fine if Mary Saul needs to be upgraded to full-time. But clearly that's not happening. I think that Mama Elsa's not there. That's why she's not full-time. I mean, you could show Mama Elsa in a coma in the hospital with a mask on her face, breathing, and it would be more
Starting point is 01:06:25 interesting than any scene Mary Thole's ever been in. And by the way, if they aired that 24 hours a day, I would watch it 24 hours a day. Oh my god, this is an extra strokey episode of Watch What Happens. Ronnie wasn't being Mama Elsa with a stroke. Ronnie was just being Mama Elsa.
Starting point is 01:06:41 Yeah, vintage Mama Elsa. Oh, Mary Thole. just being Mama Elsa. Yeah, vintage Mama Elsa. That's Mama Elsa in the hospital with the mask on her face. Oh, my gosh. But we were introduced to Alexia's mom this episode. I'm sorry, she is not going to be able to compete with Mama Elsa, but one of the good things about
Starting point is 01:07:00 gaining 50 pounds is I can imitate her really well now. Yeah. I hope you're not wearing a bra, because that woman clearly does not wear a bra. Women have a fear of castration. No, men have a fear of castration. And the women have already been castrated,
Starting point is 01:07:18 so we are not afraid like the men. Don't you love that she's a Cuban that used to formerly live in Spain but is now living in Miami? And she's a psychiatrist? I think this is fascinating. I know. There are a lot of interesting things going on with Alexis' family, because then there's also Peter, the ne'er-do-well son, who was hot at one point, but now has turned into
Starting point is 01:07:36 like a 1988 drug smuggler. You know? I think he's still hot. Now he's like fat-like. He's like gettable hot. I mean, not for me, but like other people. But the hair, the ponytail is just awful. I like a loser. He's hot. But I'm glad to see that Frankie, that's the name, right?
Starting point is 01:07:56 Frankie? Freddie? Frankie? It's Frankie, and I just think that that whole story is so sad. I'm really glad that Bravo and the producers let Alexia come back full time because she deserved it. She needed to be off part of season two to take care of him. It really just is
Starting point is 01:08:10 tragic and clearly he's still not at 100%. Who knows if he ever will be, but I like that she's willing to put this story on the air. I know a lot of people think she's a terrible mother because of what her other son did, especially to that homeless person, which is deplorable on every level.
Starting point is 01:08:25 But I do think that she does seem like a good mom to Frankie. I don't care what anybody says. Alexi is so funny. She's like, well, you know, Frankie, yes, he got into an altercation where he hit a homeless person and stupid, stupid Frankie videotaped it. Like, that was the problem. Like, he's so stupid that he videotaped it.
Starting point is 01:08:44 He's not stupid for hitting a homeless guy. He's stupid for videotape it. That was the problem. He's so stupid that he videotaped it. He's not stupid for hitting a homeless guy. He's stupid for videotaping. I'm sorry, Ronnie, but there are a lot of annoying homeless people near your Starbucks that I want to hit. I just don't hit them and videotape it, but I want to. Yeah, but you know what's disgusting? I want to hit them too, and I don't. You don't get to just hit a homeless person.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Well, you know, Alexia does have a point. I'm angry before I get my Starbucks in the morning. Alexia does have a point, which is that it's stupid to punch a homeless person, but it's even dumber to document it. It's even the dumbest thing in the world to then put it on Facebook and think you're going to get away
Starting point is 01:09:16 with it. Is Alexia a bad mom, though, for not teaching her son's proper studies? Oh my god, she was letting her son go to 21 and over clubs with a fake ID driving drunk in the first season. I mean, she's not a bad mother. She's like a typical rich mother who
Starting point is 01:09:31 lets her kids do whatever they want. When they get in trouble, she buys their way out of it and cries about it. She has to put up with so much. Yeah, you do because you're kind of terrible. Ronnie has the points. I'm sorry, but these mothers
Starting point is 01:09:48 who just send their kids to clubs and let them get wasted and shit when they're 16, and pays for it, and knows about it, and then, like, didn't she give them a birthday party, like, with a bar on a yacht or some shit during the first season? I mean, I don't feel sorry for them. Yeah, exactly. And her, like, underachieving
Starting point is 01:10:03 son, like... Are you people I don't feel sorry for them. Yeah, exactly. And her underachieving son. Are you people that cold-hearted? When you look ahead at this season, clearly no matter how many horrible What's the bad son's name? Peter. No matter what horrible things Peter has done, he is clearly fucked up
Starting point is 01:10:22 because of what happened to Frankie. And you see later on in this season those are real tears coming out of his face you can say that all these women on the show are fake and that they are fake criers but this kid is so upset about what happened to his brother and I'm sorry that I have some compassion for him I'm not saying that I'm glad the brother got an accident
Starting point is 01:10:41 I'm not saying anything like that of course I feel bad for the family when something like that happens. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about feeling sorry for that loser when he's out fucking drunk driving since the time he's 16. I'm not going to feel sorry for him. You know what? People have died in my family. I haven't gone and punched fucking homeless people.
Starting point is 01:10:58 That's disgusting. How can you stand up for that? Did you just call me disgusting? I'm going to fight you. I feel like we're on a reunion right now. No, no, I didn't. I actually feel like I'm sitting on a couch opposite you in a reunion and Ben is going to be Andy Cohen and I'm going to come fight you.
Starting point is 01:11:13 No, don't be mad. I'm in a really shitty mood. Do you guys think, well I've got a low grade fever everyone. And I'm not saying you're disgusting, I'm saying that kid is disgusting. Do you guys think that Alexia should be mad at Leah for allegedly telling people that the kid should go to jail for up to 25 years? Here's the thing.
Starting point is 01:11:34 I'm going to sound like a hypocrite, but who shouldn't say that? Because he should have gone to jail. He should have. He should have gone to jail. But Leah says she didn't say that, and I believe Leah because she's the wife of a defense lawyer who makes it his job to get people like that off. It's not like... Right. Plus,
Starting point is 01:11:50 also, like, you know, these women can be so stupid. You know, Leah probably says an off-the-cuff remark, maybe like a maybe like an exaggerated remark, like, yeah, you should go to jail. Go to jail for how many years? Whatever. She says a remark like that. It gets told to someone like Lisa, you know, biggest brain of, like, the Western world, and then Lisa, you know, biggest brain of, like, the Western world,
Starting point is 01:12:10 and then she probably, you know, it gets all, like, messed up in her head or her friend's head, and it comes to Lisa, then it goes to so-and-so, then it gets to so-and-so, and by the time it gets to Alexia, you know, it's like, oh, well, you know, Leah said that your son should go to jail and get raped in the ass, and then after that be sent off to China and do some hard labor, you know? And they never do twice. I actually think that Alexia is smart enough to know that Leah is not the devil. Plus, I think that she also should
Starting point is 01:12:31 fear Leah a little bit, and she doesn't want to get on her bad side. Well, it seems like this cast, out of all of the casts, this cast actually knows each other. It seems like the girls actually hang out together. Not all of them. Lisa, obviously, no one hangs out with her. Well, somebody mentioned this on the show, but there's, like,
Starting point is 01:12:47 the Cuban crew, and it's, like, I want to say it's Anna and Alexia and Adriana. Is Adriana Cuban? No. No, she's Brazilian. Oh, and Mary Saul are all Cuban. And Adriana's, like, in their crew, too. I think that those four girls
Starting point is 01:13:04 all hang out together. You know how it is with a little gang of girls. If we could take one thing and spin it into this huge drama when it's really one stupid little thing that was said. We'll fight you. Watch what happens, bitch. That's right.
Starting point is 01:13:18 Watch what happens when we gang up on you. Ronnie, what was the thing we used to say when we used to imitate Adriana saying? She had that one line we used to always say it over and over and over again. Oh. I don't even remember, but it was just her fucked up accent.
Starting point is 01:13:35 She always said it, but she had that same... I don't know. I was trying to think of that when I was watching the show. Where's Annie Verbano when we need her? Was anybody missing Dr. Karen Sierra DDS? I was not missing her. I was only missing her mom. I hate her.
Starting point is 01:13:55 I was only missing my vanilla ice cream. I hate her. I hate her. I'm actually missing the hatred that the girls had for her. Oh, I loved it. I loved their hatred for her. You liked watching them punch that bag constantly? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:14 I just thought it was so funny. And her strange parrot in the backyard. Because she was just horrible. She was just like that awful celebrity dentist. He was at every red carpet and taking pictures with everybody famous. Ugh, she's just horrible. She was just like that awful celebrity dentist who's at every red carpet and taking pictures with everybody famous. Ugh, she's so gross. Framing them all over her office.
Starting point is 01:14:31 I enjoy watching people like that get dragged through the mud. So yeah, I miss her. Do you guys know that Joanna and Lisa apparently don't like each other anymore? I saw the war that erupted on Twitter recently, and they are going at each other. I know that we're going to see this later on in the season, which I am very excited for, actually.
Starting point is 01:14:48 I don't really like either of them, but I know that there is serious bad blood there, which makes for great TV. I love it. I love that Marisol called Anna... I mean, not Anna. I'm so confused. I love that Marisol called Lisa tits McGee. I think this is going to be a really good year,
Starting point is 01:15:09 and I really like how, I love how they're filming it, and I love how they opened it with the interview clips explaining the drama exactly. It wasn't like, oh, this is going to happen later in the season, and wait 20 episodes. It was like, this is why I hate that bitch, and this is why I hate that bitch. Go!
Starting point is 01:15:26 And I like that they're obviously trying to make Adriana like Lucy and Ethel or whatever with her husband. She's supposed to be so hilarious, but she's really just coming off as a bigger and bigger asshole every second. I just love it. And she's really bad at doing the fake stuff, when she's like,
Starting point is 01:15:42 I'm so sick of your vintage this and your vintage that. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of, I'm so sick of your vintage this and your vintage that. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of your vintage. Well, last season we did see her act in a straight-to-not-even-DVD movie, and so we know she's a terrible actress, and she really needs to tone it down.
Starting point is 01:15:57 Yeah. She really does. I was laughing through the whole show. Best line of the night, though, in my opinion, goes to Mary Saul, who was like, more cockies. By the way, speaking of Emmy Brabano, she mentioned
Starting point is 01:16:13 on our Facebook page, one of my favorite bad quotes, quote, she's a carrier pigeon. That's my favorite Marisol insult. Is that a diss? Marisol kept on saying that last year about Karen Sierra. Marisol thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Starting point is 01:16:30 You know what she is? She's a carrier pigeon. She just takes the message and just carries it on over. A carrier pigeon. Is that terrible to say? If I said, Ronnie, Ben is such a pony express. Yeah, it's like that. It's like, great. She's such a telegram, you know?
Starting point is 01:16:49 Alright, are we done with these Miami bitches? What else happened? Can we talk about... We need to talk about Leah's house decor. Oh, okay. Oh, yes. First of all, I love that all these women have just giant atriums in their houses. When they walk in, there's like five
Starting point is 01:17:03 stories of nothing above their heads. What are these houses? Star Islands. Star Islands. Florida looks so beautiful, first of all. It looks gorgeous. It makes me want to go there, and I've been there. I used to live in Florida. It was hot as hell,
Starting point is 01:17:19 and everyone's old, and it was not fun. Where they all live, everyone's all big and buff, and I feel really insecure, and it made me hate myself for my life. But watching this show, I'm like, oh, my God, I don't want to go there. I secretly hope that Leah invites us to Miami, and then we can go and stay on Star Island or go to someplace cool and feel awesome. Well, she probably won't fly us out there,
Starting point is 01:17:40 but I'm sure if we call her, she'd be like, hey, come on over. Yeah. To my throne. How fun is that? She had a line this week. It was so funny. I wish I had written it down. I was like, this will be the new, like, tear it down! And I forgot to write it down.
Starting point is 01:17:56 All I can do is her laugh now. Was it something about the re-doing the house? Leah totally laughed like that when we were doing the house. Why do I bother? Why do I bother? Leah totally laughed like that when we were doing the house. You're good.
Starting point is 01:18:15 I can't let us move on until one of you does Freya. Does who? Freyda? Freyja. Freyda. Freyda? Well, I put him a machiste in Frida's room? I was like, Frida, what are you doing with a machiste? Why are you playing checkers on the machiste, Frida?
Starting point is 01:18:34 But you know her, she has her own gallery on the side for all I know Leah does get these little digs and it's hilarious Well guys, thanks for coming to redo my ballroom I put all the artwork out, I mean, I've got so much of it because I had to buy some to help a friend, you know, who needed the money. So here it is. She's obviously talking about Adriana, which I thought was hilarious. You know what I want to do with all these decorations?
Starting point is 01:18:56 I want to tear it down. Tear it down. It's a ball. Who has a ball anymore? Tear it down. Who has a ball anymore? Tear it down! You guys sound like... You sound like gestating gremlins.
Starting point is 01:19:15 Isn't that what that little gremlin sounds like? Gizmo? Gizmo. You sound like Gizmo. You know what we actually sound like? We sound like fucking carrier pigeons. Marisol's like, where's my metaphor? My metaphor has come to life.
Starting point is 01:19:32 Marisol's like, I knew it. Marisol's like this. She's like, I knew it should have been more than just a hernia the house was. I'm Marisol Haddon. What is with... Yeah, her surgery's really weird. It's like, she has her cheeks pushed.
Starting point is 01:19:46 She's like a chubby joke on purpose. She's like, just keep pushing my cheeks, guys. Just keep pushing them up. It was an insult wrapped in an invitation. How was that? Yeah, this is Marisol possessed by Leah. Yeah, this is Marisol possessed by Leah. This is Marisol possessed by Thomas Kramer.
Starting point is 01:20:14 Sit down, shut down, or send a carrier pigeon. Okay, you guys, just a break from real life. Wait, wait, wait, no, did some, okay, go ahead. My house smells like ham. Okay, carry on. Wait, is the quote... I'm seeing that on our page, Prognosis Prognosis said that you're not up to my standards. I can't do it.
Starting point is 01:20:36 Oh, it's not up to my standards. Thank you, Prognosis Prognosis. By the way, I love Prognosis Prognosis because it's such a weird name. Every time I see Prognosis, Prognosis comments, I'm always like, oh, look, there's G-squared. Your prognosis is prognosis.
Starting point is 01:20:54 I love that girl. That's the prognosis of standards. Her picture is beautiful on the Facebook. Why don't we move on to New Jersey? I have about three things to say about New Jersey. I do, too. I hate it. Oh, so boring. So they went go-karting
Starting point is 01:21:09 and Gia proved to be wiser than everyone on the cast and that I think is all that happened. Oh, I love that we got to see that song again. Waking up in the morning Waking up in the morning Waking up in the morning Why can't we in the morning. Every day. Wishing everything could be okay in the morning.
Starting point is 01:21:27 Why can't we get a flashback to Danielle Saab's daughter? We are sisters, and I never know how. We are sisters, and I'll be there forever. We are sisters. Danielle Saab's like, my baby, my baby, she's a star. The other one's a model, though, so let's look at her instead. baby, she's a star. The other one's a model, though, so let's look at her instead.
Starting point is 01:21:46 Oh, damn. I actually was so disturbed by that scene, and little midget Joe, like, yeah, how did it, like, stare into my ass? Gross. I think Ron and I both have a very concrete answer to that question.
Starting point is 01:22:02 What was that? How did we like staring at Joe Gorga's ass? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You worked hard. By the way, people, if you're only listening to this on iTunes, you are missing
Starting point is 01:22:17 out on all the fun of the video experience as right now we're doing our Lydia dancing. Only the two of you are doing that because you think Joe Gorga is hot. I am sitting here waiting to move on to the next topic so I don't throw up. How about Greg?
Starting point is 01:22:33 I'm a professional. Let me look at my notes. Oh, you're not the only one, Diane Sawyer. Yeah, you're not the only one. We found out that Teresa complains about her problems to her kids. I mean, we knew that. Meeting with Joe and Gia.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Jacqueline not being able to say what Tree did to hurt her. That was pretty interesting in that meeting that she had with Jacqueline. How she was like, okay, so I hurt you? Okay, what did I do to hurt you? And Jacqueline was just like... Well, newsflash.
Starting point is 01:23:05 Jacqueline is as immature and stupid as her daughter. I mean, how do you think her daughter turned out that way? So, of course, Jacqueline has no good answer. Jacqueline, I forgot how insecure and sad Jacqueline is at the bottom of it all. I mean, she's just... She can't move her face because she's trying to please people. She's going to get all cut up and sliced up
Starting point is 01:23:21 because she's trying to please people. And then she's like, Woohoo! Shots! At a table with her And then she's like, woohoo, shots! At a table with her parents. It's like, oh, you're so sad. She actually seems, Jacqueline actually seems very sad this evening. She seems like she's actually in a sad place, and it's sort of sad to watch. Yeah, it is. I don't like it.
Starting point is 01:23:38 Although, you know, I'm all for a tummy tuck. What's Matt doing over there? I think he's doing... He's playing Nash. Yeah. I feel like Matt's taking our dinner order. Like I would ever work retail or in food service. Oh, Ronnie, that was a dig at you.
Starting point is 01:24:02 I don't work. I was taking notes. I drew a picture, instead it's really bad I hate is that the shape of New Jersey Jewish people Matthew
Starting point is 01:24:15 okay wait everyone has to draw New Jersey let's see if they can do it let's see who can draw the best impromptu New Jersey I'm going to do mine it looks like a big camel penis let's see who can draw the best impromptu New Jersey. I'm going to do mine. It looks like a big camel penis. So what else happened on this?
Starting point is 01:24:35 That's my New Jersey. Why isn't anything happening on Jersey? And I think it's so hilarious that the editors keep putting in, poor Kathy, like, well, Teresa apologized. Like, no one cares, Kathy. No one cares, Kathy. Was Kathy on this episode? I was like, oh, I think the Rosie did something. So Greg gained weight and is moving off to San Francisco
Starting point is 01:24:53 where he will probably find much love because he's like a San Francisco bear now. Yeah, if you're a bear, you're good in SF, right? Yeah, he'll do just fine. And then... We had a big old clip of the Sons and their terrible shady business and their beautiful new office. Who's paying for that?
Starting point is 01:25:09 The bankruptcy court. Whoever you guys fucked over and bills the first bankruptcy is paying for that. And, yeah, I guess Blackwater got into something. It got into, like, it's being served as some, like, state penitentiary or something like that. I don't know where they're sending this. Just give it to the inmates. Send it to the colleges to do lab testing
Starting point is 01:25:27 with the monkeys. You guys, we're getting five cents a bottle for black water and the homeless guys will be picking up the blue containers full of it later on today. Let's see. And then the other thing,
Starting point is 01:25:44 Jacqueline came here to LA she's just down the street on Holland Boulevard at Tequila which is by the way like a shitty place that no one goes to
Starting point is 01:25:52 what's up with white people opening Mexican food places and then spelling the name wrong like is that supposed to make it is that so it's like okay come eat Mexican food
Starting point is 01:26:02 but don't worry white people own it like Tequila's not spelled T-E-K-Y-L-U-H or whatever. Shut up, white people. But we saw Ashley and her face. So her lips are all puffy. Her hair is done up, but she's lost weight. It's what happens when you move to L.A.
Starting point is 01:26:19 She looks like a little tart. And she lives, by the way, next door to Matt. And she talks exactly like Jacqueline now. She lives in the building next to me where the machete-wielding madman was captured about two months ago. That was also her plastic surgeon. Oh! That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:26:38 So I've got MJ across from me. Matt's got Ashley next to him. We have The Miz, the WWE wrestler, somewhere on the block. The Miz is across. I don't know if The Miz is still there anymore. I haven't seen him in a while, but The Miz was in the same building as MJ. And you know, Matt, Evil Dick from Big Brother used to live on the other side of you, but he moved out. He did?
Starting point is 01:26:56 Yeah, he's long gone, but he was there about two years ago. There's a lot of porn stars, too, in the neighborhood, if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, Sugar from Survivor is also somewhere. And Corinne, I think Corinne from Survivor is next to you as well. And for the gay men watching this podcast or listening to it right now, Adam Killian, I believe, is his name.
Starting point is 01:27:15 Check that one out. Who's that? Just do a Google search on that one. Look, pretend you're Teresa learning what a sociopath is. What? S-O-C-I-O-PATH? Huh? Someone who's incapable of feeling emotion? Huh? What's emotion?
Starting point is 01:27:31 Sorry, Chris. What are you doing in my phone, sorry? So, what was... I love that Teresa... That was actually the best part of the film. The best part of the show for me was Teresa asking Siri what a sociopath was. That was hilarious.
Starting point is 01:27:47 Adam Killian. So what was I going to say? What I didn't understand was at the end, Jacqueline's going under for her nasty tummy tuck, which we saw like pieces of her fat on the table, and they're cross-cutting it with her son
Starting point is 01:28:05 who might have strep throat. Going back and forth as if it's a commentary on something. Like, ooh, illness on both coasts. I didn't understand that. Did you understand that? No. I was looking at Adam Killian, funniest porn star ever. Okay, I put images
Starting point is 01:28:20 and then he's like this, naked, spreading his butt, going like this. And poses for porn like that. That's hilarious. How are you supposed to pose for it? Well, not like smiling like you're in a soap commercial. I mean, come on.
Starting point is 01:28:42 Can I do a name drop? Can I do a name drop? Did you go on a date with him from OKC? No, you're asking. You just went on for ten minutes about the D-listers that live next door to you. Seriously. I once socialized with Adam Killian. I was not on a date, but I was at a party with him.
Starting point is 01:28:58 And he is, like, a very bizarre pothead guy. He seems really nice every time I see him hiking on Runyon Canyon. He is nice. He was actually extremely nice, but he's like a total Burning Man, Burner, like, truly... LOL, Derek being the first one to be like, Ronnie,
Starting point is 01:29:14 here's who Adam Killian is. Here's Adam Killian, for those of you who don't know. There he is. He's very handsome. He has lots of tattoos, and he has really good calves, almost as good as mine. Almost. Almost.
Starting point is 01:29:29 So, wait, guys, can we talk about Eat, Drink, Love? Yes, please. Jersey's done. Let's move on. Okay, Eat, Drink, Love is my new favorite hate-watching program. I love that show. Did you guys not like it? It was so...
Starting point is 01:29:43 I liked it because I hated it. It was like, it was... Can we just put this out there, Ben, and if you can't talk about it, I understand, but are you friends with the girl from Eater LA? I'll do full disclosure on my... on the girl from Eater LA. Because they made her out
Starting point is 01:29:58 to be the biggest whore in Los Angeles. Yeah. I don't know her. I don't know her. I've interacted with her online. There have been some times I've submitted things to Eater LA to try to get a link to my blog. She's been nicer over email. The reputation that she has amongst food bloggers is that they all hate her because she's skinny and pretty, but then they all have to be nicer because she runs Eater LA. but then they all have to be nicer because she runs Eater LA, and a lot of food bloggers are like, she doesn't even know how to write. She doesn't even eat food.
Starting point is 01:30:28 She sounds like the perfect person to be on reality TV, somebody who doesn't really work, but people hate her for doing nothing. Exactly. I think she's sort of hilariously awful. I love when she's like, well, this guy, we sort of have a thing. He really wants to fuck me, but whatever.
Starting point is 01:30:46 He's just like, every time I walk in the room, he's looking at, like, we sort of have, like, a thing. He really wants to fuck me, but, like, whatever. He's just, like, every time I walk in the room, he's, like, looking at me, like... I don't know. I think that she's, like, totally insufferable. On the show. On the show. Sorry, Kat. Yeah, she's totally that girl who's just, like, a whore for attention and has daddy issues and thinks it's fun, but
Starting point is 01:31:01 I don't know. I don't know what age I was when that was fun. You know like when your friends were like, yeah, we got arrested. Yeah! And everyone's like high-fiving each other. Actually, I don't. You get to our age and people are like, I got arrested. Well, I'm from Texas. You get to our age and people are like, I got arrested. And you're like, yeah, you're a
Starting point is 01:31:18 loser. How dare you suggest that I'm not classy like that? How dare you, Lydia? How dare you? I mean, can't you even laugh at this? So let's run down the cast. Okay, so we have Kat O'Dell, who's just sort of like, oh my god, when I walked in the room, oh my god, he was looking at me,
Starting point is 01:31:33 and I sort of had a thing with that guy. And she's sort of annoying. And then you have this little, like, munchkin chihuahua, who's like her sidekick, who agrees with everything that she says. That's my favorite one. The lap dog is your favorite?
Starting point is 01:31:49 Yeah. My friend Nadine calls her Alex P. Keaton because she's so weird. She's like, yeah, so I'm in charge of everything. I work for Morton's. And then you see her go into the kitchen. She's like, guys, guys, what is this? This isn't food. Look at the recipe.
Starting point is 01:32:01 I mean, thank guys. Thank guys. And then they cut to the line workers and they're like, what the heck is this? It's like she's 10 years old. She's like that cigar chomping baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Is that a movie from the
Starting point is 01:32:16 70s? Oh my god. She's from 1988, so... I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I just turned 25. Just like me. I love how in one scene she's like, I've got to work extra me. I love how, like, in one scene she's like, you know, I've got to, like, work extra hard to be taken seriously, and in the next scene she's like, hey, look, I made a crown for the birthday girl.
Starting point is 01:32:34 I mean, we're all on the same page here that she's on a lot of drugs, right? She's totally Adderall, at least. She's, like, at least having Adderall. She is, like, a total... She just wants to be accepted and loved by everyone, specifically Kat O'Dell, at least. She's, like, at least having Adderall. She's, like, a total... She just wants to be accepted and loved by everyone, specifically Cat O'Dell. As does everybody on Adderall.
Starting point is 01:32:51 Yeah. Then there's the private chef who's just, like, whatever. She's just, like, the typical top chef reject of, like, yeah, I'm tough, you know, I'm, like, a personal chef. I got, like, tattoos. Like, I'm in the trenches, and now I'm in the weeds, and now I got a tough table to take care of. Yo, I'm a personal chef.
Starting point is 01:33:08 It's like, okay, okay. She's like, yeah, turn them and burn them. Yeah. Do you know who I hate? Big mistake. I hate lots of people, but I really hate chef people that get forks, knives, and spoons tattooed on them. Is there anything worse than that shit?
Starting point is 01:33:21 I'm doing a high five. I'm doing a high five. I'm doing a high five. High five. Boom, boom. boom seriously it's like yo I put a tattoo of a beat on my arm because beats are my favorite veggie and also I like to think that I marched with different beat of my own cuz I'm a chef I'm gonna get a tramp stamp of tuna tartare because that is an amazing a moosebouche. Yo, I'm going to get a tattoo of a branzino because you know what? Branzino are a special fish.
Starting point is 01:33:50 It's the first fish I learned how to make when I stopped taking drugs and I was saved by cooking. Yeah, it's on my nipple. I love somebody tattooing tuna tartare onto themselves. Sidebar, tuna tartare is over. Dear LA restauranteurs, it doesn't need to be on every goddamn menu.
Starting point is 01:34:08 I know. I actually had some very bad tuna tartare last week at Le Petit Four, which, first was Dave was going to Le Petit Four for food. I think I had tuna tartare at maybe Villa Blanca. Well, actually,
Starting point is 01:34:18 theirs is good. I mean, it's an outdated dish, but theirs is good. I liked it. I haven't had tuna tartare since junior high. So, yeah, had tuna tartare since junior high. So yeah, that tuna tartare tattoo is just a big gloppy mess
Starting point is 01:34:30 on your back. Why would you do that to yourself? But yeah, she's totally one of those girls who think she's so cool. Because you prefer other gloppy messes on your back. And then the last, our last cast member is Waylon, who runs Faux Nuts. Oh no, there's two more. You forgot the self-hating
Starting point is 01:34:46 factor. Oh, no, I'm sorry. She's my favorite. She's the last one. She's the last one. So then we have Waylon, who has Faux Nuts. And the thing that annoys me about Waylon a little bit... Is everything. ...is she's a little too self-conscious of the cameras. Like, this whole, like, we have a dance party, because we're just, like, fun at Faux Nuts. That's what we do. We're just, like, having fun.
Starting point is 01:35:02 And she's also the girl who's, like, getting stuff sent to her when they happen to be filming the first day because everyone thinks she's so gorgeous. I'm like, shut up, Michelle Pfeiffer. I'm sorry you're not getting enough time at home, but your witches of Eastwick days are done.
Starting point is 01:35:18 Just make a fucking donut and keep your mouth shut, okay? Send in yourself flowers. Shut up over there, Michelle. By the way, have you guys had donuts? No. I'm not eating a baked donut. I don't think. They taste good, but they taste like a piece of cake. It doesn't taste like a donut. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:35:34 Who bakes a donut? Donuts are not something for you to improve upon. Fry the fucking dough. If you're going to improve upon it, make a new sauce or something. You know what I had today? Did you have a cronut without me, bitch? I had one today. I had a cronut today.
Starting point is 01:35:49 Where is this? It was good. It was at Kettle Glazed Donuts. It's brand new. It's on Franklin and Argyle. I have to say it was really good, but it was not like Everyone's talking about how cronuts are like your eyes are going to roll back in your head. Now, if it's true, these are not the how cronuts are like your eyes are going to roll back in your head.
Starting point is 01:36:06 Now, true, these are not the official cronuts from Dominique Ansel's bakery in New York City, but it still was really good, but it wasn't like, oh my god, it wasn't like, donuts are taken to the next level. Is it a flaky donut? It tasted just like a little flakier. It was not significantly better than a really flakier. It wasn't... It was not significantly better
Starting point is 01:36:26 than a really good classic donut. You're just telling me that you like it, but I need to know what the texture is like. Okay. Yeah, is it really like a croissant donut? Because I'm so in if that's what it is. It wasn't as croissant-y as I thought it would be, to be honest.
Starting point is 01:36:38 It was flaky. It had that great fried, light, fluffy texture. What was great about it was that it was very light. It was very fluffy. And, you know, it was very light. It was very fluffy. And, you know, it's this thick. It's this tall. So, by the way, sorry, people who are only listening. It's this tall.
Starting point is 01:36:51 And you bite down, and it's, like, soft and pillowy. Is one enough? Yeah. At this place, it was, like, $3.75. So it's not like a 99-cent donut here. That sounds like a Sprinkles cupcake. That's a nice Yeah, it has. So here are my issues.
Starting point is 01:37:08 What was good about it is it had a chocolate drizzle on top and it allegedly had some cream filling although I didn't even taste the cream. But there was... Therefore it's bad if that's misadvertising. It still tasted... I was actually fine with that. But my only issue is that it had sugar. It was like a donut
Starting point is 01:37:24 that has like..., you know, it's like, has, like, they dip it in the sugar, and it's got, like, sugar crystals all on it. There was sugar, like, all around it, and it actually was a little too sweet because of that. Not just, like, a little. It was actually, like, aggressively sugary. I would have liked maybe just the sugar on top only.
Starting point is 01:37:41 But, again, of mine, a quibble. It's good. Go check this place out. And the donut shop is beautiful, and I can't wait to try their other doughnuts too they're non cronut right now stop pimping them until they advertise I'm gonna tell them to how about I do that um they can they could sponsor our eat drink love post so anyway now let's go on to our last cast member Ronnie by the way if you are not looking say something running because Ronnie looks so happy they're looking up cronuts or Adam Killian, or Adam Killian
Starting point is 01:38:05 splashing in donuts. Guys, let's invite Adam Killian to have a cronut with us. I am la- he is not gonna eat a cronut. He's gotta keep that butt pretty. I just saw it spread open like a fucking- Like a jelly-billed cronut. Like a
Starting point is 01:38:21 resume, like a portfolio. I'm reading the Facebook and Emmy is saying, foam people, stop with the foam, food people. That is so true. Spit foam. Why do people have spit foam? Why is that still popular? It's disgusting. Foam became popular when that evil guy who's like a hot
Starting point is 01:38:37 little mini Wolverine named Marcel was on Top Chef and he liked to do foam on top of everything. It's Jose Andres. Well, it all comes back because Marcel and Michael Altagio all worked for Jose Andres at the Bazaar, and so did Waylon, who dated Michael Altagio. And now let's get on to our fifth cast member, Brenda, who was my favorite, and she's also our way into this world.
Starting point is 01:38:56 Oh, my God, is her name Brenda? Yeah, her name is Brenda. She was the only one who was, like, really likable and relatable. You know, this core... What? Likable? relatable, you know, this core She's fucking a horrible that girl random the publicist the publicist she Miranda. Oh my god. Are you a Miranda? She has to see here Okay, listen, look here's this woman She has to she has her restaurants that she represents and she has to go and sit down at lunch with
Starting point is 01:39:22 her restaurants that she represents, and she has to go and sit down at lunch with freaking Cat O'Dell and the little chihuahua and has to sit and listen to Cat O'Dell talk about all the guys who think she's so hot, and she has to put on a smile because she's a publicist and pretend like she cares so much when all she wants to do is shoot herself in the head.
Starting point is 01:39:38 Shoot yourself in the head if you're that miserable. Life does not have to be that miserable. You are not fat. What are you, five pounds overweight? You're bitching about being fat? And then her story about how her husband left her was hilarious to me because I was like, of course he left you. You're horrible. She's like, well,
Starting point is 01:39:54 he came in from a trip, and he said hi to the dog before me. And I was like, really? You're saying hi to the dog before me? And he was like, oh my god, I just walked in the door, and you're already giving me crap. And she was like, you know what? I'm leaving you. And he was like, fine. You know, you sound like the biggest fucking shrew of all time, and I don't blame him for leaving you,
Starting point is 01:40:10 and I'm sorry you hate yourself so much, but lighten up, honey. At least fake it for TV. I mean, Jesus Christ, lady. I don't know. I thought that for what she has to sit and listen to, and I was personally, I felt for her. I don't care about the divorce thing. I just felt for her having to listen to
Starting point is 01:40:28 these people and then they're on. I think she's so hateful and at that birthday dinner of hers, she gets trashed at this birthday dinner that everyone else sets up for her. She doesn't have to do anything for herself. And yes, granted, the slut set it up at a guy she was flirting with's restaurant. But she probably did that so she can get them a lot of free
Starting point is 01:40:44 shit and she's not spending hundreds of dollars on this birthday, right? So I can get it. You know, like, what else do you use a slut friend for if it's not to get free shit? So this girl gets all jealous because this slut friend has all these guys hanging all up on her, so she's like, let's play truth or dare. Okay, truth.
Starting point is 01:41:00 Isn't it true that you're dating, like, six guys right now while she's sitting next to the guy she's trying to date? That's not cool. That's not cool. And that's why you don't get laid. Like try being nicer because you're horrible. Wait, are you suggesting that if I'm nicer I'm going to get laid more? Yes.
Starting point is 01:41:15 It's kind of like Aaron on Big Brother who this week was like you know it's funny I've been acting really nice to people and I'm sticking around longer so I guess I have to keep it up. It's like, yeah, isn't it funny if you're nice to people, good things will happen to you?
Starting point is 01:41:28 Crazy, right? Crazy. Look, Matt, I'm not saying that you should be nicer. I think you should keep yourself the way you are. But if you're into somebody, and you, you know, just be quiet. You don't have to change your personality. Maybe just like...
Starting point is 01:41:43 Just don't show them your personality. Yeah, you know, give it a while. Wait till after. I'm going to take... Maybe LA Weekly will have like a mime class available for me. Don't let Adam Gertler be in it because you saw the way he fell down those stairs. Adam Gertler from Food Network Star.
Starting point is 01:42:01 Oh my God. I don't know. I think there... I know LA Weekly, speaking of which, wrote an article about how this show is really just terrible for food journalism and women because it makes it seem like women sleep around
Starting point is 01:42:17 just to get ahead, essentially. And that food journalists sleep with all the restaurateurs they write about and everything. Okay, by the way, how many food journalists really exist? There can't be that many of them. Wait, we just got an email from Leah. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:42:34 Is she watching right now? Oh, it hasn't been. It has... She is not watching right now. No, she's not. It has actually nothing to do with anything. Okay. She just wants us to tweet and
Starting point is 01:42:48 tag RHOM. I was so excited. I was like, oh my god, Leah's watching. Leah has something to say. She's like, don't forget my handbag. No, we love you, Leah. I don't know. So, verdict is,
Starting point is 01:43:03 it's no Gallery Girls, but I'm going to watch it because... I liked it. I mean, I think that it could be kind of Gallery Girls-ish, except that they're not way younger than us. But I like that they finally hit that spot where it's like, people are age. I love that it's people who take themselves so seriously. Like, it's food, people. I mean, I get that food is trendier than it ever has been, and I get the celebrity chef thing,
Starting point is 01:43:27 but it's ridiculous at this point, and people are falling all over themselves. Like, you guys work in the service industry. Like, drop the attitude. Seriously. At the end of the day, you're cooking for me. So shut up. Drop it.
Starting point is 01:43:37 I actually think that they kind of missed the boat with this one because I feel like the whole, like, foodie revolution, especially in Los Angeles, happened, like, two, two and a half years ago with the emergence of the food trucks and the pop-up restaurants and all of that, and now I'm kind of like, maybe this works for the rest of the country,
Starting point is 01:43:54 but I just don't give a shit. Well, because you don't eat. Yeah. Notice how the food revolution... Touche! No, I don't even mean it as a diss. You don't, like, you proudly don't eat. I mean, give me a break.
Starting point is 01:44:08 You're my fucking hero in life. You know that. I strive to be you. Look at you. Look at yourself. I have gained ten pounds in the past year. Matthew, you have gained nothing. And if so, it's ten pounds of God's love.
Starting point is 01:44:20 You know what you need to do, Matt? You need to do what I did, which is somehow contract a vicious stomach flu. Oh, my God. I should have made out with you that night. Spend three days shitting and vomiting everything that goes into you. And I have special drugs that will make me do that on command. Yes, please.
Starting point is 01:44:38 My birthday is coming up. I would love some of those. I know. But I do want to make it clear. I just want to cut off my stomach and attach it to my butt. I love some of those. I know. But I do want to make it clear. I just want to cut off my stomach and attach it to my butt.
Starting point is 01:44:45 I do want to make it clear that you look great how you are. Please stop with that. But I do mean, like, of course you're not as interested in restaurants because you've, like, really become the true L.A. skinny person. And you have, I mean, you've told me what you eat. It's not very much. Listen, spoiler alert. This show has nothing to do with restaurants and food. It's just a backdrop.
Starting point is 01:45:06 This is just like, we want to show, we want to get like five women together who like their world is, they overlap a little bit and have to deal with each other and, you know, we found Kat O'Dell who's this like nympho journalist who's like self-absorbed
Starting point is 01:45:21 and we found her a little chihuahua and we found like a bitter publicihuahua, and we found a bitter publicist who has to smile with these women, and a lady with big blonde hair, and then some other person. It's just like another excuse for women to yell at each other on TV. So I'm down for it.
Starting point is 01:45:35 It looks good to me. But also, I hope this whole celebrity chef thing is on its way out, because I was watching the Food Network's new show, that Cutthroat Kitchen or whatever. Yeah. The first chef, I turned it on. It was from Top Chef, right?
Starting point is 01:45:48 Frank from Top Chef Season 2. He has been on every reality show. It's like he's got some agent who keeps getting him on these shows. And I was like, you know what? The whole celebrity chef thing just needs to do it. Every chef has an agent. Eric Greenspan was on this premiere episode of the Dream Club. Oh, we like him. We do like him.
Starting point is 01:46:05 We do like him, and in fact, Matt, when we had dinner that night after our whole little thing with our friend, we went to the foundry. That was that night?
Starting point is 01:46:11 Yeah, but here's the thing, though. I mean, I like Eric Greenspan. He was on Food Network Star last week, and then he was on this this week.
Starting point is 01:46:18 He pops up on everything. He was also on, he was on the first season of Iron Chef America, or not Iron Chef, the next Iron Chef. Who's this now? Who's this Eric Greenspan person?
Starting point is 01:46:28 Let me just tell you this, Brian. This will change your life. He was the one that the lady staged for. He, on his menu, has... He's the first guy, in my opinion, that I know of, that brought back the tater tot revolution. And he has tater tots with a violet Dijonais. Watch out.
Starting point is 01:46:44 Watch out. Let me revise what I was saying. I don't mind 500 pound chefs who actually cook food that I would eat coming on TV all the time. So not Gwyneth Paltrow. You just don't want the top chef. I don't want Curtis Stone
Starting point is 01:46:59 or Frank who was terrible then and is terrible now. They're all terrible. They're just people with agents. A 500 pound guy who's reinventing a tater tot that's a motherfucker who eats. I can't get behind that. I'm just sick of these actors with chef agents.
Starting point is 01:47:16 They can't get off Broadway so they're on the Food Network instead. It's like that guy Jean Valjean who was the porn star who then went on to Chef Academy which was on Bravo. I was just going to say, like, Giada De Laurentiis has not eaten for the past ten years, so I'm not going to buy into any of her products. That bitch can't even pronounce pasta. I mean, I'm sorry, it's not pesto or whatever she's like.
Starting point is 01:47:40 Pesto! No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. No, it's not. I'm hungry and angry. I'm starving now.
Starting point is 01:47:48 Did you watch Below Deck? Are we done? I did watch it. Sad, drunk, blonde girl. Amy version 2.0. I did enjoy it greatly, I will say. She's like a little
Starting point is 01:48:04 blonde Catherine Ireland without all the fun stuff. Oh my god like a little blonde Catherine Ireland without all the fun stuff. Oh my god, she is like Catherine Ireland. That's funny. But she looks like she came from Pennsylvania instead of England. Is that a diss on Pennsylvania? I was going to say, she looks like she came from
Starting point is 01:48:20 England to me. Just bad hair dye. I was going to say West Virginia. A mining town. A bad hair dye. I was going to say West Virginia, but you know. A mining town. A former mining town. Yeah. A place where history has passed it along. Are we going to watch the new show about where they're trying to make young,
Starting point is 01:48:35 hot, sexy Atlanta because Atlanta is the mecca for all garbage reality TV? I'll sample it. It might be crap, though. It's just making me sad because all I wanted in life was a second season of Most Eligible Dallas, and I don't even know if we're going to get the
Starting point is 01:48:52 Courtney spinoff that we've been promised, and now I've got to deal with some more bullshit out of Atlanta. Well, I found it offensive that the Atlanta commercial's like, it's the new generation of Atlanta. Like, oh, no, you did not just call Real Housewives old. Not that I'm arguing. I do, someone
Starting point is 01:49:08 asked us if we're going to watch a Tamara spinoff. No, I will not be watching that. I don't do the wedding. I don't want to do any of the wedding spinoffs, although I may tune in for a Nini episode here and there. You guys have to. It's required viewing. Look, look, look, look. You can hate Kim Zolciak
Starting point is 01:49:24 all you want, but nobody in the history of Real Housewives is worse than Tamara Barney, which means we have to watch this so we can trash her. Yeah, but it's Tamara pretending she's nice and in love. I'm not falling for it. I will give you that right. If I tune in and it's all her going like, oh, well, just don't tell Eddie about the price tags
Starting point is 01:49:42 like they're showing in the preview. If that's what the entire hour is about, please, Jesus, it'll only be a half hour. Like, Eddie's paying for anything anyway. He's the president of your gym. How much could that possibly pay? So if that's what the deal is, I'm out, but I'm going to give her one shot. Yeah, let me tell you what looks really amazing. The NeNe wedding show looks amazing.
Starting point is 01:50:02 It does look good. I love the twist in that is that it's not a happy wedding show. She's like, it was supposed to be a romantic story, but it is a nightmare. I was like, yeah! Nene's going to tear everyone a new one. The whole thing's going to be a nightmare. Everyone's going to cry.
Starting point is 01:50:18 Yes, now that I'm down for. Nene being a terror. And she's being sued by the wedding planners, which makes it extra delicious. Of course, because no wedding planner in the history of Atlanta ever gets paid by these women. They're stupid. How is any business in Atlanta still open after these shows?
Starting point is 01:50:34 They're just pillaged by the cast members of these shows. I mean, it's like the Bailey agency stealing all the business from everyone. Oh, my God. It's so busy. All right, so are we done for the day? I think we are, fellas. I think we are done for the day.
Starting point is 01:50:51 But we will return on Thursday for the TV Click Big Brother. Is that a talking icon? What is that? It's like a twisty that I've been playing with all this time. And I've somehow turned it into a little thing where I feel like I should dip it in soap and blow bubbles out of it.
Starting point is 01:51:08 It's a little talking stick. Give me five. Hold on. It's my monocle. Wait, hold on. Let me get my monocle on. Hey! Wait, put it on me. Can you put it on me? No, it's in my hand. I'm holding it. I can't send it to Santa Monica.
Starting point is 01:51:28 I'm clearly the Alexis Bellino of this podcast. I don't want to be ganged up on. Okay, I got my monocle on. Ronnie, what are you doing? There's a bridge. I can't see you. Monocle Lewinsky. There's new construction in front of my place. I can't see you. There's a bridge going up.
Starting point is 01:51:43 Hello, governor. Hello, governor. I have a thing to say about things. I have a monocle on, and I'm a very rich and important person here in London. Okay, let's go. So, everybody, thank you so much for being with us. We are the TV Click. Watch what crappens.
Starting point is 01:52:00 You can catch us live at 4.30 every Tuesday, 4.30 Pacific Time. You can find us on our YouTube page30 every Tuesday, 4.30 Pacific time. You can find us on our YouTube page, the TV click. Subscribe. YouTube.com. Please subscribe. Subscribe, subscribe, subscribe.
Starting point is 01:52:11 You can also find us on Facebook at our Watch What Crappens page, on Twitter, and everywhere. Matt is Life on the M List. Ben is B-Side Blog. And just come to my YouTube page. I'm YouTube Trash Talk TV, T-E-E-V-E-E. Hey, and you know what? We're trying to build up our YouTube presence,
Starting point is 01:52:28 so you know what? If you really like us a lot, maybe you should, like, put a link to this YouTube player on your Facebook feed, and maybe all your friends will watch also. Right, people, because let's get real. This is a kind of trial thing, so if nobody's watching and subscribing to the YouTube page,
Starting point is 01:52:44 you're just going to get the audio. But you are, you are, and thank you everybody for being on our Facebook page. You guys are hilarious. It was fun reading you, and we'll be back Thursday night at 10... No. We're watching East Coast this week, right? Oh, let's do East Coast. So we're going to be here at
Starting point is 01:52:59 7.30... 7.30... No, 7.20. 7.15. 7.15. Let's just say 7.30. 7.30. No, 7.20. 7.15. 7.15. Let's just say 7.30. 7.15, dudes. All right, 7.15 on Thursday nights. Live.
Starting point is 01:53:14 For Big Brother, live. And that's 7.30 Pacific time. Okay, we'll talk to you guys later. Thanks for watching. Bye. Bye. GoDaddy is offering one new or transfer.com for just $1.99 for the first year. Each new.com comes with a free instant page website and built-in photo album.
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