Watch What Crappens - #99: Bathroom Bitchslaps and Hot Guy Eliminations
Episode Date: October 23, 2013Lisa Timmons (Banter With Ben and Lisa Podcast) joins Ben Mandelker (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TrashTalkTV) to laugh about the ridiculousness on Bravo this week. We discuss Lea Black's tri...p to Texas on Real Housewives of Miami, hot guys getting eliminated too soon on Top Chef, and the bathroom brawl on The New Atlanta. Plus veganism and properly lighting black people, of course. Join us! Check out our Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens) for announcements and to hang out with us and other listeners. We're also on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/TheTVClique). Only audio at the moment, but if you like listening there now you know! Our YouTube Podcasts: http://www.youtube.com/thetvclique Our Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/watch-what-crappens On iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/watch-what-crappens/id498130432?mt=2 Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/watchwhatcrappens Ronnie on the Web: http://www.trashtalktv.com Ronnie on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/trashtalkteevee Ronnie on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/trashtalktv Ben on the Web: http://www.bsideblog.com Ben on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/bsideblog Ben on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/bsideblog See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Hey everyone, welcome to Watch What Crappens, the podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to watch.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com. You can find me on Twitter and Instagram and Vine and Pinterest and wherever else, at bsideblog, all one word.
Joining me as always is my dutiful co-host, Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie.
Well, hello everybody. Hi, Thanks for having me. Great to be
here. Thanks. So nice.
So nice to hear the dulcet tones
of your voice, of your Lebanese voice.
Yeah.
At
TrashTV on Twitter
and at Trash Talk.
He also has a website called TrashTalkTV.com
that you all should go to
every single day of your life.
Yeah, if you all came there ten times a day and clicked on an ad, I wouldn't even have to do this show.
I know.
I know.
Then it would just be Ben rolling solo.
Although we also have a special guest today.
Joining us as well is the inimitable Lisa Timmons.
Welcome back, Lisa.
Oh, my gosh, guys.
It has been so long.
I've missed you two gentlemen,
and I'm very excited. I've missed you too, but in freaking Atlanta.
We've been trying to get you on this show for months.
I've been in Savannah, mister.
But you're right, I've been in Georgia.
So I'm back.
We are on the same time zone.
Things are just as they should be.
Well, they're not quite as they should be
because we actually have some news regarding this podcast.
The past few weeks, our dearest Matt Woodfield has not been on the show
because he has just had a very rigorous work schedule,
especially, you know, in the fall, Yahoo Entertainment,
they get swamped with award stuff and movie premieres and things like that. It has
become too overwhelming, so unfortunately
Matt
has actually stepped down
from the podcast, but he's going to be like,
Camille Grammer, he's not gone.
He'll still come on. Whenever we can get him on,
we're going to get him on. Oh no, you know what? He said that in the email.
He's like, I'm going to have to pull
a Camille and just be a friend
of the Housewives, But you know what?
Camille is no longer on that show.
She's actually gone now.
So thanks a lot.
I can read between the lines, Matthew.
I hope that you die quickly.
I hope that you don't die like a horrible, violent death.
But you will die.
Bye.
We love Matt.
And he was very stressed about having to do this and having to step down.
I know it weighed heavily on him.
There's no hard feelings whatsoever.
Whatever. He's another person who got skinny
and wouldn't be my friend anymore.
He's working.
It's online.
I wonder where Matt is
and when Matt's going to come back.
Well, that's where Matt is. And we don't know when Matt's going to come back.
But in the meantime, this is sort of fun
because we can sort of, you know,
approach this like The View
or like Regis and Kelly.
We have a rotating guest seat now
and maybe one of these days we'll find a permanent
addition. Wow, this is
super awkward because I totally thought that
that's what this was.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha! It's just a one-off. No, just kidding. Who knows? That's what this was.
It's just a one-off.
No, just kidding.
Who knows?
Guys, this is the first time I'm hearing that I am not his permanent replacement.
I'm totally lying.
Everything's fine.
No, you should.
I think you should be the Rosie O'Donnell where you come in and then you do a really good job, but then you leave because we didn't support you when
you went on Fox.
That is pretty much the story of my life.
Well, we need to find you an enemy
so that way you and the enemy can have
split-screen fights about
politics.
Rosie and Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
Or Donald Trump.
Whatever.
Just get all the former members of The View
and put them on Watch What Crappens.
That would be good,
listening to them talk about the housewives.
They're 100% available.
I'm not even looking that up.
I'm going to guarantee that already.
And Debbie Matanopoulos isn't booked
for the next six months.
Man, The View has changed so much,
I don't even know what it is anymore so many people and i'm
like yeah i have no interest in knowing what jenny mccarthy thinks about anything yeah especially
vaccines anyway um we should get to bravo stuff as much as we love to talk about ourselves and
we do this at the beginning of every podcast we should talk about bravo do we have any gossip
do we have any gossip this week i feel feel like there was something, right? Well...
Let me think.
Kim Zolciak pregnant with
twins.
A big shocker there.
That vagina is basically
like a giant
burrito from
cilantro. Or what's that place?
Chipotle. Green cilantro, whatever.
Cilantro! I don't think it's twins. Just because it's a double cheese Chipotle. Green cilantro or whatever. Cilantro.
I don't think it's twins.
Just because it's a double cheeseburger does not make it a twin.
She has a double Whopper with cheese.
It's like a big gulp.
She pops for a fillety pit.
I'm sure.
I think we've lost you, Lisa.
You were making a very funny point.
We lost you.
Am I back?
You're back.
I said I'm pretty confident she pops fertility pills like multivitamins.
Yeah.
But then again, if I was ever having sex, I've always said this.
So, guys, this is not new or controversial.
If I'm ever having sex with a professional athlete, you know I'm not on birth control.
My ass is trying to get pregnant.
Yeah, absolutely.
You're locking it down.
Even if it means that your vagina is going to look like a water slide from Hurricane Harbor.
It already does, okay?
Well, if I ever sleep with a professional athlete, I'm going to seal his sperm and inject you with it while you're taking a nap so you can get pregnant with my baby.
Guys, that's a good friend right there.
That's a good friend. there good friend none of us will
ever work again except for ben we can hire ben to like take care of the kid that's perfect i've
seen him in action he's great oh my goodness another another gossip thing josh wearing the
son of laurie wearing is a stranger to crime he's been busted at least five times as for the most
recent we found out that he has popped on october 10th for allegedly stealing a 2005 Cadillac.
He was charged today.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
A used Cadillac.
That's so sad.
That is so sad.
Like, why don't you just go steal one of those little zip cars that are parked on the fucking street with keys left in them, you loser.
So basically, he's raiding retirement homes for their vehicles.
That's what I'm hearing here.
You want to impress me? You figure out how to steal a Prius
where all you have to do is press the button
to turn it on.
And you get a silent getaway.
Yeah, I was about to say, it'd be the easiest.
These are like running
behind him. We're gonna get you!
What was that?
Where'd that car go? It's so quiet.
We're touching your bumper right now.
Just pull over.
All of the smoke mess.
Here's something.
We've already started to see some promos for this on Bravo,
but Rihanna
has a show that's
gonna be on Bravo called Style to Rock,
and I think it's not just Rihanna.
There's someone else who's involved in it, someone big and legitimate.
But the show is going to be on Fridays, which to me seems a little strange for Bravo.
What do you guys think about that?
And what do you guys think about this show?
Have you heard about it?
I've seen promos before.
I thought it was on a different network for some reason.
I thought it was going to be on Oxygen.
Wait, Oxygen's gone now, isn't it? No, Oxygen
I think it still exists. No, Oxygen's
still on. How dare you? How dare you?
Oh, I was thinking of Style Network.
Style Network has now been absorbed.
I've got all my networks mixed up. Oh, no.
What happened to Michelle? Wasn't she working at Style?
Oh, that show's long gone.
Oh. Yeah. We hate
that show now. I'm just kidding. Okay.
Screw that show.
Screw you, Style Network.
I'm glad you're dead.
I hope you're enjoying Matt Whitfield as your president of your dead company.
Just kidding.
I miss you, Matt.
Come home.
Why does it keep getting quiet?
And Pharrell is going to...
I would watch...
What?
I would watch the Shadow Brianna show.
Yeah, and Pharrell's going to be a mentor.
And guest judges include Miley Cyrus, Khloe Kardashian, Naya Rivera,
Neo, and Kelly Osbourne.
I don't know how Naya Rivera got bigger billing than Neo,
but that's the way the world is.
But these are big names.
It's basically class.
That's basically class, that show.
I mean, I don't even know who naya rivera is is she
on glee or something she married is she married she's on glee she's the one who's kissing denise
lovato yeah this is not doing much for me but the point is this this is these are big names
and the show's gonna be on on friday nights on bravo that seems almost like they're burying it
do how don't you feel like this is a show that should be on a Sunday night or a Tuesday night?
Well, Sunday's taken.
I mean, there's just no more room on Sunday for anything.
Like, first of all, you start the day with Jesus.
And then you come home and you've got eight fucking hours.
I've got eight hours of TV to watch on a Sunday.
There will be nothing else.
I think Bravo's just like,
well, hopefully black people are going out only on Saturday.
I don't know what they're thinking.
Why it would be on Friday.
I don't know if that's a big black night.
I don't think so.
And I hope they're not burying Rihanna because I think that's going to be a really big show.
Yeah.
I love her.
I love her Instagram.
Do you follow her on Instagram?
No.
She's hysterical.
She posts pictures all the time, and they're always ridiculous.
My favorite one so far is she's, like, mad-dogging this penguin,
and she's wearing a black and white outfit,
and the caption is, bitch stole my look.
I am obsessed.
What does it mean to mad-dog someone?
That sounds sexual.
Mad-dog.
It's like giving them the side the side eye oh i like the stink
eye you know what that might be a southern thing yeah i just realized that yeah you're you're just
back from savannah so you're gonna be saying things like i'm fixing to for weeks you know
what i might could explain that to you but it would take exactly literally when i saw lisa
earlier this week she had a bucket full of crawfish and a banjo,
and she had a piece of, she had a reed in her mouth.
You joke, but he's actually seen me with a bag full of crawfish.
Yeah.
Actually, Ronnie and I got crawfish at that same place.
Guys, the three of us should get crawfish.
Tonight, let's do it.
Okay, bye.
Podcast over.
Vegan.
Vegan, bye.
They're basically. I care about creatures. It, bye. Podcast over. No, I'm vegan. Vegan, bye. They're basically...
I care about creatures.
It's basically like being vegan.
This month.
I care about creatures today.
Until I cheat on my diet, and then I'll give up the whole rainforest for an M&M.
I'll be like, bye, everybody.
Give those cows as many hormones as they need.
Just give me a king size peanut M&M.
Those cows should not have to experience menopause.
This is not on the topic of Bravo, but we will somehow find it to get in there.
But I had a pretzel M&M this weekend.
Delicious.
No, I felt like it tasted dusty.
I felt like it did not live up to the hype.
Oh, it's so good.
You have to eat it with almond M&Ms or peanut M&Ms.
You can't just have pretzels.
Or it's good if you have just pretzels
with those other M&M's.
You mean pretzel M&M's with those M&M's.
No, like pretzels
with peanut M&M's.
I know what you're saying. Actual pretzels
with peanut M&M's. Yeah, because you get
the same effect in your mouth.
Absolutely. Because I'm telling you, I had
the pretzel M&M brand where it was like a pretzel inside the M&M.
And it tasted like very dusty.
It tasted...
It reminded me of Carol Radziwill, okay?
And I didn't want that.
See, I brought it back to Bravo.
See?
I'm a green M&M because I'm horny.
Widows need to get laid, too.
My bad.
Is that 99%?
The famous M&M died in a plane crash, but I don't want to say his name.
Voldemort, my ex-husband.
He loved M&Ms.
He's the M&M of the month.
This isn't really an M&M thing, but this was a Bravo thing that happened with my temporary veganism the other day.
Because I was watching this movie on Netflix because I don't have a job right now.
So anybody who wants to hire me to do something where you can give me a lot of money where I don't have to do much, please email me.
But I was watching this thing on Netflix about veganism and it was like making you feel guilty about what we do to the animals and stuff.
Netflix about veganism and it was like making you feel guilty about what we do to the animals and stuff.
And it was talking about how,
um,
they have to keep getting cows pregnant over and over again and naturally so
that they can keep producing milk for our ice cream and stuff.
And I was like,
that's what Kim's old.
I was about to say,
Kim's old.
Kim's old.
We'll be coming out with her own ice cream soon.
And the pint will have a little wig on it.
And it'll all taste like Chick-fil-A.
It'll taste like one thing
until candy comes through
and makes it taste like something better
in the middle of you eating it.
Exactly.
Candy-coated ice cream.
What are you doing?
I might be a small... candy coated ice cream oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
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oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh From my cable walls. Oh, we forgot to announce something very important, you guys.
What?
Today is the Halloween episode of Watch What Happens.
Oh, yeah.
Lots of spooky things will be happening today.
It's a haunted podcast.
Well, can I get the first spooky thing?
I was haunted by the ghost of Real Housewives of New York City past when I turned on my DVR last night
and I found the series premiere of the Real Housewives of New York
back from 2008 recorded right there for me.
Oh my god, what was that like?
It was amazing.
You know what, let me tell you something people.
Tell me.
See this cast in their infancy.
Back when we liked Jill Zarin before she was awful, back when
we didn't know who these characters were, when
Alex McCord was just
totally ridiculous.
It was, I felt
like my heart was racing. It was so exciting
to see this. It was brilliant.
If you guys have it on your DVR,
watch it. You might have it there, like I did.
They all
had different noses.
We're doing something different where they were
showing full seasons this
whole weekend. They were showing an old
Jersey season, and I
was trying to record the final episodes
of Million Dollar Listing to see how that
all played out, and I accidentally recorded the wrong
season of it, and I was like, I've already
seen this.
It was terrible enough
the first time.
Jersey,
Jersey's too stressful
for me now.
I don't think I can watch
that show anymore.
It's also,
I don't find it to be
entertaining anymore.
Me neither.
It's just depressing.
Jersey and New York
both stress the hell out of me.
And I think it's just,
I was traumatized
when I lived there.
It's like those accents
and everybody's just so busy
and on it and on you.
And like,
it's too much,
but,
uh,
yeah,
they stress me out,
especially when they're on at the same time.
Cause normally it's Jersey and New York overlapping or on at the same time.
And I just can't take that.
I need this break.
I have to,
I have to say though,
the watching that,
uh,
real house at New York city episode.
It's sort of,
you know,
that series has its own unique tempo. All of them sort of do. And it, you know, it taps into the New York City episode, it's sort of, you know, that series has its own unique tempo.
All of them sort of do.
And it taps into the New York energy
and it's been over a year, I think,
since Real Housewives of New York City
has been on the air.
And it got me actually really pumped for it to come back.
Even though we have sort of a new cast now
and they're not really as good as that original five or six,
I can't wait for it to come back now.
I am like ready.
I'm in Real Housewives of New York City mode.
Yeah, I think it's going to be pretty good.
I agree.
As long as Womona comes back.
Oh, she has to.
She has to.
So that was a very spooky thing that happened.
Should we just get right into some of the shows?
Do we want to start with Miami?
Do we want to start with Top Chef?
What do you guys want to do?
I am just the guest.
I want to eat a cow.
I want to eat a cow with cheese on top of it.
I want to eat a pregnant cow.
Well, in that case, why don't we talk about Top Chef since we're already talking about food.
Okay.
That's good.
We'll start with Top Chef.
Let's start with Top Chef.
Now, I was good this week because last week when we started talking about Top Chef, I couldn't remember what the hell had happened.
So this week I wrote down notes.
But I was mad because I have no idea where I put the notes.
Oh, what the frick?
Ben is slow.
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
Let's see.
The quickfire challenge, someone was eliminated because – oh, you know what it was? I loved the quick fire challenge someone was eliminated because, oh you know what it was?
I loved the quick fire challenge. The quick fire challenge
was that Dana Cowan from Food and Wine Magazine
came by and said, here are
four food trends that I hate
and I want you guys to make
some dish and
see if you can make me like the
trend again. And what I loved is that she put
bacon on there. And I hope that every
single Top Chef person who has
a tattoo of bacon on their chest
in between their nipples felt shame
at that moment. Yes, and they actually showed
a commercial. You know,
do they have these people on some kind of contract
where if they're on the show, they have to do
those terrible commercials where they're like,
it's a Top Chef challenge with
you know, how can you make
something delicious with beans and rice?
Oh, it's a healthy choice meal.
Great job.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I do.
I do.
I always fast forward over them, though.
Well, I watched one the other day because I was watching Top Chef Live for some crazy reason.
And I saw one and I was like, those people, they should be better than this, but they're probably not.
I hope they got more than like $5.
Those people, they should be better than this, but they're probably not.
I hope they got more than like $5.
Always remember, no one's better than anything you think they are.
Yeah, that's true.
But they showed that guy with that kind of red-headed bear guy who was on last year with the mustache, the curly mustache.
Oh, I couldn't stand that guy.
Yeah, he was really arrogant, and he always wore those bacon shirts.
So I felt like Dana Callen was saying, fuck you to that guy,
because I didn't like him, and she was like, bacon's so over.
And then they showed a commercial with that guy making $5 for a terrible commercial,
and I was like, Dana Callen has some sway.
Yeah, I also loved, she also was like, she was also very anti-kale,
and she was like, I don't want to see a kale salad. So then this guy Brett or Brent, Brett I think
is his name, he goes and he makes a kale salad.
I was like, you are such an idiot.
What are you thinking? You could get
eliminated right now. Why are you making a kale salad?
Yeah, if you wanted to go home that bad, why didn't
you just put some frozen scallops on top of it?
You fucking moron.
I know.
Certain things you just don't do on Top Chef.
You don't disobey and you don't use frozen scallops.
Yeah.
So, by the way, I found my notes.
Do you guys want to hear my notes?
Yeah, I'm dying to hear them.
These are my notes in their entirety.
Top Chef, colon, quick fire, colon, smoked, bacon, kale, egg on top.
Those were all of my notes.
Why was I not copying you in college?
I know.
So, anyway, the main stuff. why was i not copying you in college i know so anyway the okay here's the things that well let's talk more about these trends that are just over i don't appreciate dana cowan telling me what's
over and what's not for example what we're just not using bacon now i mean come on and then and
i know now she had said like bacon and desserts i would have been like okay that's great but like
just bacon in general you can't just tell people that bacon, okay, that's great. But like just bacon in general,
you can't just tell people that bacon's a trend that's over.
Like Jesus ate bacon.
Well, here's what Lisa used.
Oh, I was just going to say, I told,
I know where you're coming from because bacon actually is a great way to
kick something up a notch.
If you've got something really boring and maybe doesn't have any meat in it
or not enough, just that you need a little bit more flavor.
But I think what she's talking about are these people who make something mediocre and
then throw a thing of bacon on it and they're like la da now so basically you're calling my
meemaw a hack so you know what meemaw right to the gut well no here's the thing also i think
it's even more than what lisa said or in addition to is that there's this whole kind of cult of bacon now where people wear T-shirts and they say bacon.
I love bacon.
Or you have the guy from last year who's like, I'm going to do a bacon.
And they do the basic bacon desserts.
And they just they think they're being very clever by using bacon.
And it's no longer clever.
It's no longer interesting.
And I don't I think it's actually annoying.
I think it's this really, really
annoying cheat that people do use.
And I do agree,
it's great if you put it into a salad, or it does
spice up certain dishes.
I wonder if my meemaw
is sitting in New Braunfels
feeling double cunt-punched right now.
That's basically what just happened.
She should be so lucky. She's going to make herself a bacon noose out of her bacon t-shirts
she thinks you're so clever here's here's to me when bacon ended was like about two years ago on
big brother when there was that guy adam who would not stop talking about bacon i think he
he had like five different bacon t-shirts i think he had to dress up as a piece of bacon at one
point i'm not sure.
But to me, I was like, bacon is now officially over.
Well, it's all over to me.
I'm a good person now.
So you guys enjoy your meat.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think that, you know, I, okay, you guys have made me see that bacon has been overused.
But kale?
Kale is not.
Come on.
Kale is a vegetable.
You're just going to say people can't eat kale anymore?
I mean, what the frick?
Yeah, I feel like kale is still, I'm not over kale. And I think it's a very healthy vegetable and i think it's i think it's a good thing so i i agree i'm i'm maybe i'm i can see maybe how the kale salad trend is
getting overwrought like every restaurant has a kale salad now but i don't mind because i like
kale salads i you know what i think anytime like the talking about the trends it just reminds me
of when i was in college and people who i couldn't, or high school, and people who I couldn't stand.
Like this one girl was obsessed with Tori Amos and she was so annoying to me that I was like, you know what?
I may like Tori Amos, but I'm never listening to her music because you won't shut up about it.
Yes.
And I kind of feel like that's how people feel about kale and bacon.
Kale is kind of like the Tori Amosa vegetables.
It is.
Well, I think...
It's silenced all these years.
Yeah, I think starting school at Jesus Chapel
killed Christianity for me.
So I understand what you mean.
I feel like I would be probably a good Christian
if it weren't for the horrible Christians I grew up with.
I loved how sad Padma sounded
when Dana Cowan announced that kale was something that she hated.
Padma was like, I love kale salads, though. Yeah, Padma likes everything. Shut up sad Padma sounded when Dana Cowan announced that kale was something that she hated. Padma's like, I love kale salads, though.
Yeah, Padma likes everything.
Shut up, Padma.
Padma's like the luckiest metabolism I've ever seen in my life.
Here's another trend.
Ronnie, you're coming in and out, just so you know.
Oh, I'm staying out.
He's stepping out.
I'm out and I'm not leaving
he's going out with the kale
he made himself a
dress like he made himself a stole of kale
it's wrapped around his shoulders
he's going out
the other trend that Dana Cowan said
was putting an egg on it
I don't feel like that's really
hit a fever pitch and I've also
enjoyed the egg on things thing so I'm not feel like that's really hit a fever pitch. And I've also enjoyed the egg on things thing.
So I'm not opposed to that trend.
I'm so sorry that I wasn't speaking back.
I was reading Facebook comments because I asked people to say what they want us to talk about.
None of it has anything to do with eggs on top of things, bacon or kale.
Can you believe it?
Well, let's get on to the main challenge
of the episode, which I actually
loved as well. It almost seemed like a quick-fire
challenge, but what they did was they went
to the Commander's Palace, which I guess
is a very famous
old restaurant in New Orleans,
and they had to
eat this meal, and then they had
to recreate these certain iconic
dishes from the menu.
And I loved it.
I loved watching these chefs.
Chefs. I love watching all the chefs.
I love them all trying to emulate and everything.
I'm sorry.
Can I interrupt for two seconds and just point out what assholes Ronnie and I were for doing that?
No, no, no.
I loved it.
It's like a chef who can stab
you in prison.
You like how me, I was the asshole who then made it
a riff on chef for cheese, which is, of course,
the French way of saying goat cheese. So we're all
assholes, basically.
Yay!
So the guy who went home,
I'm trying to remember who it was.
I think he was like the asshole
who was friends with the hot guy.
Okay, now, here is my theory
about this year's Top Chef.
I believe that there is a really fat, bitter gay guy
working as a producer
who gets to decide who stays and who goes
because he's getting rid of people
who chunky gay people don't like.
Okay.
All the good looking guys who work out.
Are getting cut first.
Basically.
No.
That guy Brett.
I think that guy Brett is hot.
And he managed to stay.
Even though he's becoming the idiot of the season.
Do you remember Top Chef Las Vegas.
When there was Robin.
Who was like the caterer.
That everyone.
Like all the Voltagios hated her because she was like
sort of dumb but kept on
failing upwards. That's who
is turning into. Which one is he now?
He is like the dopey one
with glasses who's sort of hot.
Didn't he get kicked off?
No, no, no.
He stayed. I think he... Oh.
Did he get kicked off?
I think he's the one who got eliminated because off? Well, I think he got eliminated.
Cause I remember thinking like you worked out too much.
Oh,
you know what?
You might be right.
You may be right.
Right now.
Ben realizing this is kind of like when I found out I was not.
What?
Lisa,
you literally cut off and you said,
well,
I found out I was not.
And then you cut off and left us when I found out I was not and then you cut off
and left us on the lurch
I said this reminds me of earlier
when I found this moment reminds me of
when I found out I was not Matt's permanent replacement
there are a lot of startling revelations
so far
a lot of haunted bombshells
Halloween podcast entails
absolutely
I obviously can't remember who went home I really thought it was this guy Nicholas haunted bombshells as well as Halloween podcasts and tales. Absolutely. All right.
Well, I obviously can't remember who went home.
I really thought it was this guy.
I thought it was this guy, Nicholas.
Maybe not.
I don't know.
I'm trying to look it up, but then every time I look up something on the internet, it makes
everything go haywire in our podcast.
Here, I'll look it up because I'm on the phone.
We have a lot of technology.
And you know what?
If it makes you guys feel any better,
Bravo does not have information easily accessible.
So I'm looking at it.
It doesn't say anything.
It doesn't say anything.
Maybe nobody was eliminated.
We all stay.
We're like the big gumbo pot.
Anyway, the point is this.
I'm continuing to enjoy this season,
even if I have trouble remembering what the hell happens from week to week.
I went to the Last Chance Kitchen show.
We were going to get...
Brett!
Brett!
Brett was eliminated.
Oh, it was the hot guy who was eliminated.
I knew it because it started...
Okay.
They were tricky this week because it started out with him working out,
and I was like, oh, muscles. muscles god he thinks he's so great and then it showed it showed another guy talking on the
sidekick of doom that's when they talk on the cell phone to their family which used to mean
that they got kicked off yeah but they they totally tricked us so this week the person on
the sidekick or android compatible phone whichever that would be at the moment did not
get kicked off and the guy with the muscles got kicked off and i was like you go fat casting
person at bravo yeah so yeah so that the two hot guys have now been voted off um and clearly i
liked the second one so much that my mind blocked it.
I was like, no, he is still there.
I still believe Brett is there. But he works out, and if working out doesn't save you,
then what am I doing with my life?
But I am enjoying the season.
There is a guy who is becoming an asshole.
The guy who was friends with the first Hawkeye,
he was very condescending to Brett. Admittedly, Brett is a space who's becoming an asshole. The guy who was friends with the first Hawkeye, he was very condescending to Brett.
Admittedly, Brett is a space cadet and annoying,
but the guy was really cocky to him.
Oh, that guy's turning into a total asshole.
The guy with rosacea?
Yeah, yeah.
He's got that red shit on his red splotchy face?
Oh, he's turning into a bitter little Betty,
and I cannot wait.
He is.
He is.
He doesn't have rosacea. He has
bitch-acea.
Snap. Got it.
That totally landed.
Yes.
I think you
should call that back later. It was so good.
Bitch-acea.
Bitch-acea. Whatever it is.
Fantasia
Burino of the face.
I would love that.
If his cheeks actually turned into two little faces of Fantasia.
Yes, faces of Fantasia.
I would totally use that perfume.
I would.
You don't have to worry about the ingredients because it's all in picture form.
Pitch gobbledygook.
She can't read.
Poor Fantasia.
You'd spray that perfume on yourself and it would start coming out.
Ronnie, you keep uncutting.
Oh, am I still cutting out?
You are.
What the frick?
Everyone stop looking at your goddamn internet.
Okay.
I was looking at the asshole guy.
His name is Nicholas.
You see, I can tell because the internet's too weak to handle internet searches and
talking.
I'm closing it all up.
I was just going to say that
Fantasia perfume
you'd spray and it would start coming
towards your face and then it would just quit midway.
It would have to
apologize to Oprah for letting everybody down.
And then there would be a Lifetime movie
about the cloud of perfume. movie about the cloud of perfume.
Starring the cloud of perfume.
Yeah.
Okay, so something on Facebook people are talking about, which is really hilarious,
is that somebody, I think named Maggie.
Oh, God, I'm terrible with names, and I can't look it up, or it's going to ruin the podcast.
But I think her name is Maggie.
She posted a picture of Andy Cohen picking his nose
so if you want to
watch what crap on Facebook get over there
because it's hilarious
I like that
and people are asking a lot about Watch What Happens
this week have you guys been watching
the Watch What Happens show
I'm behind
no I haven't seen it
I mean I have a basic rule not to watch it
I watched the Queer Eye thing
and forgot how funny those queens were
I mean they were hysterical
Carson Kressley is so funny
I hope they bring that back
they should bring that back
but that was the only one I really knew to watch this week
and apparently we missed some good ones
there was Lisa Presley
or Lisa Marie Presley and they're saying that uh or lisa marie presley and they're saying that andy was super awkward with her and uh who
else was on there let me keep reading this but you know what i could see that because she is
so freaking cagey i don't even know why she would go on there which one lisa marie yeah
well she never gives interviews well maybe what is she gonna try coming
out with an album again because that was hilarious remember that oh bless her heart oh yes oh i
remember that oprah interview i think she single-handedly killed tower records because
that's the last thing i remember on the tower records on the sunset strip and i was like lisa
marie oh come on sit down l Lisa and then the next week it was gone
I totally forgot
I just would have been hoping that
Lisa Marie Presley would have had some special
kiss with Andy Cohen a la Michael Jackson
just to bring it back
oh kissing another gay guy?
yeah
Lisa how dare you say that about Michael Jackson
he was that straight as dick
you know I'm a Lisa Marie as well.
This is true.
This is true.
I've always wanted to go to Graceland because apparently Elvis bought her a plane and it
has Lisa Marie written in cursive and pink on the side of it.
And one of these days I shall go see my plane and fly it somewhere.
It's your destiny.
Yeah, there's a special thing on that plane when you're sitting there flying somewhere
and if the stewardess is talking about where to go in case of an emergency exit and you talk during it, something comes out and punches you in the face.
Stupid Elvis, your wife abusing ass.
Congratulations on all those albums you sold, wife beater.
You guys, I didn't know that Elvis was a wife beater.
I have always loved Elvis so much.
And the other day I was in the store singing that Jailhouse Rock thing because they have this big Elvis cutout in the Trader Joe's or an Elvis poster.
And I was kind of humming along.
And some random lady I didn't even know came up beside me in her car.
And she's like, you know he hit his wife, right?
I said, that is not true.
And she said, it is.
And then she just walked off.
So I can never fucking see Elvis.
That's awesome.
And that woman was Priscilla Presley.
Probably.
It was probably Lisa Marie Presley,
and that's why she's going on fucking watch what happens.
She's like, I just wanted to remind you guys
that my father is a wife beater.
I was on Trader Joe's,
and apparently not everyone knows that.
So stop singing his music for god's sake listen he got his in the end he died on the shitter okay so he got it he got it and getting it that's like my dream is to eat like i mean
that guy had the best coke in the world he ended up eating a pizza or some shit and just dying
while he was pooping it's like you're sitting on the pot, you're pooping, and you're coked up. Those were like
all my favorite things. Just put a dick in my
ear and we'll be done.
That's your bucket list.
And he was probably
fantastic when it happened.
I think you need to create, Ben,
I think you now need to create a photo
with Ronnie's face
that says, just put a dick in my ear.
And post it to the
Watch What Crappens wall.
Well, listeners,
someone can post that to the wall.
Please do not post a picture with me and a dick
in my ear, please.
Make sure Ronnie is wearing a white suit
with rhinestones all over it
and sideburns.
So anyway, sorry
you guys.
Thanks for asking me about Watch What Happens.
But if you want us to watch a specific Watch What Happens,
just tell us on the Facebook page so we'll know to watch it because I'm not putting that thing on the recorder again.
When I was recording every episode,
it would kill me because you get desperate and I'd press play
and it just never ended well.
And it's facebook.com forward slash Watch What Crap Happens.
You should all like us.
We have over 2,000 likes.
I think our next goal should be 5,000.
5,000 likes.
Yeah, or like, how about like every other podcast and we get like 20,000?
I mean, what the frick?
What is that noise?
Did a U.S. boat just land?
That's my apartment.
I think a speedboat just cruised by.
Why are you guys laughing? I live on a boat now.
You live in Miami next to Lexia.
Oh my God. You know what? Stop it with the draconian antics, okay?
That's my new favorite thing is draconian antics.
So you guys, this is Jennifer Tilly doing a dramatic reading of a Melissa Gorga book, okay?
This was posted on our...
I hope you can hear this.
Can you hear me?
No.
And I can't believe you interrupted my perfect Miami Segway to play something that you cannot hear.
Okay, damn it.
You can't even hear that?
No.
You guys, I suck at the internet.
I'm sorry.
It's okay, Rhonda.
Wait, you want to just slice it in?
No, that takes editing work.
It's basically this.
My husband is my husband.
It's basically that.
Wait, is that Fantasia Barrino again?
No, that's...
I believe it's happening to me.
Wait, was that Toad from Mario Kart?
How dare you?
He's a goddess, too.
Yes.
Or at least a helpful one.
Okay, so now we're moving on to Mijami.
Let's talk about Real Housewives of Miami, since I created a wonderful segue.
Yeah, but I just kicked it.
Sorry.
Sorry, segue.
I have to say, the past few episodes I thought have been a little dull, but I just kicked it off. Sorry. Sorry, segue. I have to say,
the past few episodes
I thought have been
a little dull,
but I really enjoyed
this week's episode.
What did you guys think?
I enjoyed it
because it was like
so much awkwardness.
It was fun to watch.
It was so awkward.
I have to say,
any time you see a woman
making this big of a fuss
over her third wedding,
and this one,
it's like even her,
it's her second wedding
essentially to the same man uh i always find that amusing wait a second lisa i'm afraid we may be
out of sync here i'm talking about the latest episode was when leah went back to texas oh you
know what i totally missed that one oh no okay well here's what happened how was it leah goes
back to texas it was really hilarious because you saw her during her, like, fake Mary Kay.
It was like an off-brand Mary Kay or something.
You know what this was?
I'm sorry to interrupt, Ronnie.
This was the episode when you discover about Leah that she doesn't always drink beer,
but when she does, it's definitely Dos Equis
because she's suddenly, like, the most interesting woman in the world.
They, like, revealed all these things.
At one part in the middle of the episode, she's like,
you know, I've always been a go-getter.
When I was working in the fitness industry,
I decided to go out and win a bodybuilding competition
so people would come to my gym.
I'm like, what?
Just go out and win a bodybuilding competition.
And then they show all these golden boots.
She didn't even train for it.
She just one day was like,
you know what?
I see this is going on down the street. Let me sign up real quick yeah that's probably exactly what happened because
whole thing was that uh leah went back to texas to visit her family so when she went back to texas
we learned all these things about her past we learned about her company we learned about her
bodybuilding and that you know she used to like sell all around the world and all around the
caribbean they were all they showed these old infomercials of her, all these old photos.
It was crazy.
It was so funny because even back then, she was the same as she is now, where she's like,
I do everything.
I've got a makeup company.
I'm a lawyer.
I'm a doctor.
I lay bricks.
You know, I've written books.
I'm a blogger.
I'm a pod host.
She has, like, 20 things that she does.
And she was the same back then.
And this was mostly about her Mary Kay business.
And we got to meet all the Mary Kay ladies who were on her team or whatever.
And they were riding a bull.
They were at some bull riding place.
And they're like, hey, Lisa, that's a great place for you to sell some product up on that bull.
Leah's like, I'm about a bull ride because i
went to pample on a spain and they were running the bull so i just hopped on one of them and rode
through the streets with them how fun is that i thought there was gonna be there was gonna be
some sort of language barrier no one was gonna buy my makeup but once i was on posters after
riding that bull it changed the whole country.
She's like, I went to Spain to ride the bulls,
and I didn't know how to speak Spanish, so I turned to someone and said, how do you speak Spanish?
And he said, see?
And I learned it right then and there.
How fun is that?
You know that saying, you can't put lipstick on a pig?
Well, I did it in Spain, and then it became a saying! I'll show them!
Someone told me...
A pig became a supermodel!
Someone told me I could never win a
bodybuilding competition. They said
I could win it when pigs fly. So I found
a pig, and I genetically modified it to
give it wings, and it flew off, and
I knew right then and there I could win a bodybuilding
competition. How fun is that?
You know, the bodybuilding was hard
but I got five more people to sign up for
my gym. It paid the lease.
How fun is that?
Oh, Leah.
You know what I did? I sent an invoice.
I said to the bodybuilding competition,
invoice my muscles.
Okay, so what was her other thing?
So she was a makeup lady,
and then she had a gym that she bodybuilt for,
and then there was another one that she mentioned.
I was like, what?
It was like some quick little thing she dropped in.
Well, you know, back when I was building castles, I was like, what? thing she dropped in like well you know what's that i'm
trying to remember like castles back when i was breeding unicorns i remember someone was asking
me about glitter you know glitter dust i was like what the hell where did that come from
she was a cheerleader she had like everyone on the football team was like leaving her like
apple pies at the doorstep.
Was she by herself or did she take somebody with her on that trip?
Oh, Lord. She took her
awkward son and
Lisa.
I knew it. I'm so...
I love how this season it's all about Lisa
trying to figure out
how to maintain some relevance.
Yeah. Well was it was actually
like a funny trio i have to say first of all i love leah's son because he's so like awkward and
strange and that's exactly how he should be because i definitely had that moment where i was like you
know what ronnie it's not just you every gay boy becomes their mother i don't feel bad stop beating
yourself up stop trying to learn meditation.
Go to therapy.
I mean, I tried going to a Marianne Williamson event last night, you guys, here in L.A.
To just do anything spiritual to whip Rhonda out of my soul.
And I can't do it.
And this kid is like proof.
The proof is in the pudding.
They're like, well, hey, how was your trip, honey?
How was your trip to Texas?
Oh, it was horrible.
It took forever.
The plane was late.
Then we had to wait for Lisa for an hour and a half with all the luggage.
I was like, oh, my God.
Give this kid a decent facelift, and he's going to turn into his mother.
I don't think he's – he doesn't read as gay.
I mean, he's 12, so how do you know?
Shit.
You ask the neighbors down the street if they've had their first blowjob yet.
That's how you know.
What, was 12-year-olds, I mean, we can't have sex with 12-year-olds, but they can have sex with each other.
I love RJ. I think that he is, like, I love that he has, like, this weird obsession with, like, going.
Oh, you see, you just got cut off
by the internet. Say it again.
I said I love RJ, and I love
that he has this weird obsession with guns.
It doesn't seem scary. It seems just right.
It seems very appropriate, like a little boy
obsession with weapons and things like that.
And he wears big, strange gold
jewelry.
I love the kid.
I feel like he is not an only precocious like
every other child we see on tv i think he's just right no he's he's genuinely awkward and he's not
punching homeless people in the crotch yes i think that's that's that's a huge statement you know
it really it truly on this show yeah the big news about this trip to texas was that leah is so mortified and ashamed
of her like past yeah that was really really awkward to watch because i think that like if
you're from a small town in texas you shouldn't be embarrassed you should be like oh my god
especially if you're on a reality show that's coming to your house you shouldn't be mortified
you should be like this is where i'm from this is the bull i used to ride these are my girlfriends this is my
mom and and lee was just like oh god we'll talk to him if you have to i'll be in here sitting by
the fireplace trying to find a reception for my cell phone so i can look up what people are talking
about on twitter i feel like there must be more there must be more to the story than that because
if she were truly mortified
she would not have invited the cameras to
come to her home in Texas,
you know? But at the same time
we also learned some tragic
news, which is that Leah
had a sister, Kim, who
died, it sounds like about three years ago, three or four
years ago, in a freak accident involving
a car and a car door
and a brake lock and she it was
what happened i missed that i saw it was coming up and the coming next on real housewives you
missed that part i didn't see that part oh my god ronnie that explains a lot of things um what
happened was she had this sister named kim and kim like parked her car but it wasn't fully in
park or something like that and she got out and I think the car somehow rolled
and Kim got wedged between
the car door and her husband's
truck. I don't understand how that happened.
Oh my god.
It cut off her breathing and so she died.
it was a very poignant
moment in the episode, I thought.
Leo
will ever be the same.
And she said something that I thought was particularly poignant,
where she says, you never get over it, you just get through it.
And so that may have explained why she seemed a little aloof
going back to Texas, because it may have brought back a lot of memories.
Yeah, that's so sad.
What the hell?
I mean, I knew something bad happened because I saw it in the previews,
but I never saw that part.
How did you not see that part?
It was a full segment.
Because it's Bravo, and you know how it is when it's near.
First of all, who's on the subway?
Who is that?
I think it's Lisa.
I'm on the subway?
Are you in the zoo?
Oh, wait.
Oh, here, hold on a second. You guys keep talking. I'll be's Lisa. I'm on the subway. Are you in the zoo? Oh, wait. Oh, here, hold on a second.
You guys keep talking.
I'll be right back.
She has to make a transfer.
Or she's peeing.
Yeah, she's like in the subway or she's peeing.
There's something weird going on there.
But, yeah, I don't know how I missed it, but you know how it gets to be time for the podcast
and it's like, oh, my God.
Last week we were talking about how there's nothing on right
now but today i'm like okay wait a second there's i dream of nini both the housewives there were two
hours of real housewives there was top chef then this new atlanta show which we promised we would
talk about this week there's a lot of shit to watch i was like i need to sit my ass down and
watch some brabs so you know some of it i'm cleaning dirt out of my nails or trying to see
if i can bite my toenails which I used to be able to do
can't anymore
I'm back guys by the way
it's okay Ronnie was explaining why he fast forwarded over
the death segment
I thought it was kind of fishy
there's a lot
so much on there now
it used to just be like housewives
top chef a couple things here
and now it's just everybody's getting a freaking spinoff.
I know.
Well, let's see.
What else happened on the Miami show?
So they went to Texas, which was funny.
Well, here's something that happened in Texas with Lisa.
Okay, Lisa, she's kind of a bitch.
I don't know why anybody wants to be friends with Lisa.
She does not have your back.
Like, Lisa showing up into town with you is not her being supportive.
It means that her husband refuses to
film her maid who's her only friend moved out of her house and she has nothing going on in her own
life she's a fucking pool blow-up toy and then she does things like she sits down with lisa's
family and she's like so you guys what's up with lisa she's really like you know i mean what is
that it's like she's trying to get everybody to be mean about leah like i don't know i wouldn't trust a bitch no i mean i i've always felt that lisa um is a little
tacky uh or a lot tacky i mean she's better than i thought she would be in terms of personality
wise she's not as vapid as i thought she would be but she is definitely here's the thing it's i
don't even know that it's gauche she's not not that bright. She's just smart enough to be able to maintain conversations.
She's learned a couple of vocabulary words,
but if you'll notice in fights,
someone's like, I think my favorite moment was when
Marisol was saying, Marisol goes,
why are you sticking your nose in this?
And Lisa goes, why are you sticking your nose in this?
I was like, really?
Yeah, that's how she fights, and that's how she fought that entire fight. I was like, really? Yeah, that's how she fights.
And that's how she fought that entire fight.
She's like, you go away.
You go away.
You mind your own business.
You mind your own business.
It brought back memories of Joey and Ashley fighting on Princesses Long Island.
Oh, my gosh.
You're funny.
You're funny looking.
Hey.
No, at least that was like an escalation.
I think Lisa is just, she can only function.
She's like a high-functioning blow-up doll.
Which, by the way, if you're a high-functioning blow-up doll, that's impressive.
Who are you on a date?
Any blow-up doll that has any function is actually amazing because they're made of plastic and have no cells.
You know what she is? She's Kim Cattrall from when the mannequin came to life yeah aka she's the manne nothing's gonna stop us now white person
that'll be on rihanna's new show
nothing's gonna stop us now
wasn't that on the sitcom no but it sounds like it could have been a sitcom well maybe
was there a mannequin sitcom?
I'm sure there was like a three episode like mannequin, the TV show.
There might have been actually.
Oh no, but there was a mannequin part two, but it was different.
Yeah, that was like mannequin on the run or something like that.
So anyway, guys.
Oh wait, so other things that happened in Miami.
The whole episode was really about parents and children.
Actually, we had a mom.
I'm sorry.
There was like it was a very thematic episode.
This is the way that actually the episodes used to be thematic.
And this one was thematic.
We had Adriana getting her son ready for his first formal.
That was like a nothing.
That was all that she was in the episode.
We had Joanna and Roman were Skyping with his parents. And he's like, great news. I'm getting married. that was like a nothing that was all that she was in the episode we had um joanna and roman
were skyping with his parents and he's like great news i'm getting married and they're like okay
they're like oh there's a new batch of croissant coming out so uh we cannot go by the way i love
that joanna joanna and roman never having sex just validates me as a person.
No kidding.
Makes me sad.
These both of them are so
fucking hot. They clearly should not be getting
married. If he's not
fucking, if he doesn't want to have sex with her
now,
then he's never going to.
I feel like this is the first time on TV
we've really seen sexual
dysfunction portrayed as being normal because like look how often can you fuck like seriously
like after you do it the first few times it's the same old thing but it smells worse because
people stop like taking as good care of it once they get to know you and then it's like they're
just flopping all over and then you end up having to watch porn anyway to make it happen and it's like, they're just flopping all over. And then you end up having to watch porn anyway to make it happen.
And it's like, why am I even bothering?
Like, I can't even see the screen when I'm taking care of you.
Why am I even bothering?
Get the hell out of here.
You don't have a job.
Get out.
I just can't tell.
It's really funny because you can't tell why Rowan has even agreed to allow this to be discussed.
Because he's obviously really uncomfortable.
Well, maybe. to be discussed because he's obviously really uncomfortable well maybe uh maybe from wondery this is black history for real i'm francesca ranzi and i'm consciously what do most
people think about when they hear the words black history rosa parks reconstruction mlk february Rosa Parks, Reconstruction, MLK, February, Black History Month.
Exactly, exactly.
There are so many stories of black history that we just are not really talking about or thinking about, especially outside of February.
And we are about to flip the script on all of that.
Because on this show, you're going to hear a little less.
In August 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And a little bit more.
She is a heroine to some, as a fighter for black rights.
She is a villain to others.
Follow Black History for Real on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Listen everywhere on February 5th,
or you can listen early and ad-free on Wondery Plus starting January 29th.
Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
Black is beautiful. January 29th. Join Wondery Plus on the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. take hold and her small-town values break in hopes of becoming the first scholarship student to make
The List, Bishop Gray's all-coveted academic top 10, curated by the headmaster himself. But after
realizing she has no chance at The List on her own, she reluctantly accepts an invitation to a
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But at what cost?
Academy takes you into the world
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Yeah, it's like a woman
almost makes his alibi
like, if you didn't want to discuss it,
no, never mind. My theory makes no sense
whatsoever. Well, my theory is that
last year he learned that if he doesn't have a
storyline, it's all going to be about who
he's fucking while Joanna's out of town.
So this year he was like, oh, better get a
storyline.
The bus girl I'm fucking. The bar out of town. So this year, he was like, oh, better get a storyline. They can't talk about
the bus girl I'm fucking,
the bar back. Okay.
I'm not having sex, okay? We'll do it.
I'm barebacking the bar back.
I just
wanted to go back to when she's
trying to have sex with him and he just wants to play Wii.
Joanna, why you do this to me? Joanna!
Why you do this to me, Joanna?
I just want to play Wii.
Let us play the Wii.
Meanwhile, she's really good at getting him in the mood by saying,
just fuck me already.
Fuck me.
Fuck me.
Fuck me.
Yeah, no pressure there.
She's like, I want to do it now.
You're such a woman.
Why don't you ever want to fuck me?
You're so stupid.
Where'd your manhood go?
I put up missing signs for your manhood all over the neighborhood,
so I hope somebody calls me. I don't understand why you can't get a boner with me berating you constantly.
Oh, finally you have a boner.
Oh, wait, that's just the Wii control.
She's like, why is it that every time you're fucking me, I always hear bowling pins falling over?
Oh, wait, you're just using the Wii controller in me.
God damn it.
Do we get
a high score? At least tell me that.
Why do I
always hear Mario jumping every time you're
in me?
Ew.
You went too far.
I was just trying to talk like Joanna.
Yeah.
I am reading all of these comments right now on Facebook
and have to say, sorry guys, Matt quit
so I do not even want to hear about it
on the Facebook page
you tweet his ass
at life on the M list
and you tell him that he let you down
we didn't do it, he quit
so speaking of not quitting
let's talk about Alexia
who like, oh you know, she like never quit anyone, like Frankie or Peter or her drug lord husband.
Like, she doesn't give up on anyone, and Marisol should not give up on anyone either.
Oh, you know?
That was basically my, the storyline.
That was Alexia.
That sounded like Alexia.
Was that who you were doing?
I was writing on the Facebook.
Yeah, that was Alexia.
That was Alexia.
Oh, my God.
I love the anniversary party.
You declared what?
I'm sorry.
I was telling Lisa that last year we realized that every time we do an Alexia impersonation,
it always starts with, oh, well, you know.
Oh, well, yeah, you sound just like her.
And she also talks very staccato like this.
She's a Cuban doll.
So I don't know what you're talking about.
I'm the Cuban Barbie.
I have a magazine.
Because I think it's very important for poor people to be able to see how the rich people live.
I feel like.
So they don't murder themselves.
I've been talking a lot of photo shoots, guys.
I like Lisa's version of Alexia.
She's like, I'm just trying to tell you what's going on.
Because that is sort of like Alexia's entire MO in life.
Like, I'm just trying to tell you what's going on.
Like, why are you trying to tell us what's going on?
She should have like her own news network. Like, okay, okay okay okay you guys you know uh there's a breaking news story i'm just trying to tell you what's happening on the news right now
don't be mad at me don't don't get mad at me about the traffic i'm just trying to tell you
that there's traffic i mean i'm not saying that you got to get into it but you know what it's
traffic you know what it's going to be an extra 20 minutes on your drive home but you know what
you have to just like stay with it because have to just, like, stay with it.
Because the moment that you don't stay with it is the moment the traffic is going to get worse.
Okay?
You just have to get through it.
Okay?
Look, I can't keep talking.
I got a photo shoot to get to.
Okay.
Stay in the news.
You're just going to have to come with me to the photo shoot.
Because we are doing a cover model.
So, stay with me.
Okay?
Like, that's it.
That's all I got to say.
What's up with fucking Marisol she's like hello i came to your your anniversary party i'm not having a good day
she's like i'm afraid i'm losing my mom you know what guess what you are losing your mom she's like
90 years old and she had a stroke leave her alone. Get your own storyline. Jesus.
Let the woman die in peace. Get the cameras
out of her fucking bathroom where you know
they are making a web series
of Mama Elsa slowly dying.
Mama Elsa just
wants to be alone.
Leave her alone.
She could not have been more of a Debbie
Downer at the anniversary party. She's like
I brought red velvet cake.
My mom's dying.
I have to say, though, I still love Marisol.
I think I just really like any housewife who openly gets trashed on the show constantly.
Marisol is just like, oh, can we just settle down and have a cocktail already, please?
I actually feel like Marisol has been funnier this season than she has been before.
She's been a little looser, which is surprising.
I think she... I really like her.
You know what happens?
Every single episode this season, she'll say one thing that just cracks my shit up.
And I think it's because she's not afraid to laugh at herself.
This just in from the Alexia News Report. Oh, well,
you know, Marisol is, like, much funnier, you know.
I'm just saying. Just saying.
This just in. Breaking news bulletin from Alexia
News Reports.
I would watch that channel.
By the way, you know what?
I love everything
Alexia wears, pretty much.
No, she looks great. She's my favorite
well-dressed housewife. And I love her house,
actually. I love her house. I love her
mom, too. I love how her mom
melts into any nearby chair
and then just says,
I'm surviving.
Yeah, I do love
that the mom is giving her
psychoanalysis in a real thick, cute accent.
All I think that you need
to do right now
is not be a loser like your father.
If you just don't be loser like your father,
you goes to be fine.
I love it.
She wears chunky jewelry,
shoulder pads,
and no bra at all times.
And some sort of neck.
Have you ever been to Miami?
She fits right in.
She's great.
If you don't have chunky jewelry shoulder pads and you're wearing a bra, you need to get the fuck out.
Yeah.
So that's basically all that happened in Miami.
I mean, were there any other things that jumped out at you guys?
Or should we move on to the new Atlanta?
Well, I do like that Alexia's anniversary party is obviously,
like the rumors about her husband being gay have been swirling forever.
But then when her husband just walks on and he's like in a pink shirt,
he's like the guy who used to be on Fred Flintstone's bowling team.
And he's like, fabulous.
And he's like, okay, honey, you know, everybody is here for our anniversary.
So give your speech.
And he's like, I love you, Alexia. She's like, for our anniversary so give your speech and he's like i love you alexia she's like okay i'll give the speech
she talks for 30 minutes i was like that poor guy is just like
please just put a dick in my ear and let me go back to me
i love alexia stories also because it's basically one long rambling sentence with her saying and
then and then and then she's like and then the thing with Frankie happened.
You know, that was very hard for us.
And then we got a new car.
And that was hard because we didn't know if we'd like the car.
But then, and then they opened up a new road so we could drive the new car on the new road.
And so we were thinking about all these things.
It was tough.
But then Peter grew his hair out long.
And then we have so many things to be thankful for.
So, you know, like, it's just saying what I'm thankful for,
which is all of you, you know?
Oh, that's hilarious.
I love Alexia.
I love her, too, actually.
Unless she's being really annoying with, like...
You know, the thing about this show is, like, I love them all.
I like the ladies on it.
It's just been so boring this year, you know?
Yes, it really has.
But the previews for next week look awesome
because it looks like someone gave Joanna
a glass of wine or something
because she's going off on Lisa.
So that's going to last the rest of the season,
I think, that feud.
So thank God.
You know what I hope they do?
I remember the last season of Real Housewives of New York
when they had a whole new cast in
and the chemistry wasn't quite right
and the first half was really boring.
And then someone told the producers, you know what?
Just put every, just make every episode just full of fights.
Like, not just one fight at the end.
Make it, like, a fight in the first 20 minutes, a fight in the second 20 minutes, and a fight at the very end.
And then the season just, like, went off the rails in the best possible way.
That's what I hope happens for the rest of the Miami season.
Yeah, that sounds good.
I hope it does.
I don't have very much hope,
but I do...
Wait, that didn't make any sense.
Never mind.
Let's just talk about something else.
I don't have...
We're just tired.
We're moving on to New Atlanta.
Let's go to the New Atlanta.
So this is the first full episode
that I had seen,
which revolved around
a charity fashion show
for cystic fibrosis
and simultaneously had some sort of weave-pulling catfight going on.
So on the one hand, I really did appreciate that juxtaposition.
On the other hand, I'm not totally sold on this show yet.
What did you guys think?
Lisa?
I actually haven't.
I haven't seen this episode.
Ronnie?
Are you talking about the new atlantic
because i was typing on our facebook again yes you know what's so funny is that this isn't even
a live show anymore and i'm still acting like it is i'm like hey guys i'm like we just talked
about that didn't you hear it and they're like no we're not we can't hear your show like when are you gonna get this through your thick fucking head it's not live so who who who got in the fight okay let me explain what
happened on the episode okay we have to do the fight though you know that right so yeah yeah
we will so um the episode uh pretty much began with um what's the girl with the bad roots?
The black girl or the white girl?
The black girl with the bad roots who's like moving in on Vaughn.
Trophy wife. I forget her real name.
She's the one that's not.
Alex.
So Alex goes over to Vaughn's house.
Dude, type
the softer. Jesus.
I'm not typing. I'm not typing.
That was me. Sorry. I'm not typing. I'm not typing. Lisa. That was me.
Sorry.
That's like old 80s.
That's like 80s typing.
If everybody's off of Facebook, I'm going to go on it.
Jesus.
That's like 80s typing.
It's like, oh, it's like.
Oh, well, you know, like, and then I just had to get on the typewriter, you know?
That's the sound that a breaking news bulletin's coming in from Alexia.
Da-da-da-da-da-lexia so her name is alex right yeah so alex like went and hung out at vaughn's house vaughn is like the
guy who's like a low rent version of common um he's like he's sort of sexy but you kind of
common version he's the common um it's he sort of like, when you first look at him,
you sort of think,
oh, that guy's sexy and suave and confident.
And then the more you look at him,
the more you realize
he's actually not that sexy
and he just wears good accessories.
He's not sexy
and everyone thinks he's so sexy
because he makes records or whatever
and they assume that he's so rich.
Okay, look,
he's taking care of some kid
that he dropped and left
and then he's got some little apartment
that he's microwaving dinner in.
Like, come on. Can we raise our
standards a little bit over here?
If you live in Atlanta and you only live in an apartment,
then you must be really poor.
Because we know the poor
people in the chateaus.
I feel like his sideburns are like crazy. His facial hair
is like crazy. Like, he needs to figure
out what's... I think at a certain age
you can't...
It's...
Wait, everyone, Lisa just cut off.
Say again, Lisa. I said after... I think after
a certain age, especially...
Oh, this is it.
Point will never be made. Yeah, that point
will never be made, Lisa.
Well, guess what? You know what?
We're moving on. It wasn't that great.
This is when Matt quit.
Looks like he's got two Brillo pads attached to his cheeks.
Yes.
Also, he talks like an idiot on purpose because he thinks it makes him sound cooler.
He'll be like, yeah, I was trying to get with her and wanted to know what you want in me.
I'm like, you know that that's not a sentence, and you know that you're talking in some backwards ass accent and you do not talk like that in real life i refuse to believe that you're that uneducated and hickish that you don't know how to talk you're trying to make it
sound like you're like 20 and you don't care and you're not 20 and you should care okay you're
fucking he's obviously too old to be doing this shit yeah and, and he also, he's the type that also likes to speak in
generalities about,
is that a word, generalities, generals?
I can't even tell anymore. But he says things like,
He makes generalizations.
Generalizations. Thank you.
I'm like, all those chefs over there.
No, but he
likes to say things like, well, as a
man, you know, it's important for me
as a man to do this, you know, for my woman. Because for a woman, I things like, well, as a man, you know, it's important for me as a man to do this for my woman.
Because for a woman, da-da-da-da-da.
I'm like, I hate when guys are being like, as a man and for a woman.
And it's like, shut up already.
Well, especially when it's so sexist.
It's like, I'm never going to promise anything to my woman.
Because it's like, shut up, you know.
Like this whole, you know, just be honest with a woman while you keep her down and treat her like a total whore.
Like, get over yourself and stop it.
You're some freckle-faced idiot who can't put his hands together.
Okay, look.
This is what he actually said.
This is the only show I took notes on because it got to the point where I had to write down what he was saying because I couldn't believe it.
Okay.
One of them is he's talking about, he's talking torica in some couch store about you know their relationship
and she's wearing the carmen san diego series and because he can't film in his apartment because he
can't even get the camera crew in there so basically they're in some couch store and she
literally in a couch store yeah and he's telling her uh he's telling us how he has to be vulnerable.
I was like, what?
I rewound that five times.
And I'm like, you know what vulnerable is.
Stop it.
Stop it.
He's like, is that how the kids are saying it?
Is that the new urban dictionary way of saying vulnerable?
Vulnerable.
Vulnerable.
And then another thing he said was, that's not cool with my equilibrium.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Please, stop it. You're hurting everybody you're hurting america he's literally gonna fall over if africa keeps asking him where they are in a
relationship he is going to fall on his side because his inner ear can't anymore i don't see
the attraction at all i don't get it well i get get it for Africa because the girl can't sing and has
no talent. She just has big hair
and a fun name. Like, that's pretty much...
Her name is not fun, by the way.
Africa is not a fun name. It is when you're
not there. When you're not there, it's elephants
and giraffes in your backyard. When you're there,
it's like rape, murder, and getting, you know,
de-handed for taking a banana
off a tree. Well, you know what?
I still don't see the attraction in her because you know who else
lives in that city? Jermaine Dupri.
That's who you should be talking to, sweetheart.
Yeah, exactly. A goofy-looking little man who's actually
got his shit together. Yeah, exactly.
You know what? That's a great point,
Lisa. This woman is an idiot because
of all the people that she's going to hoard out
to, doing it for like some...
A low-level producer that we've never
heard of? I mean, you're in atlanta
do you know throw a rock and you'll hit a producer oh my god even candy burris and you don't even
have to pay her yeah babysit just agree to babysit riley a couple yeah hey ron he has a new babysitter
africa yeah and africa i feel bad because now that i've actually seen her in action because
they showed africa doing a show that she produced, you know, with her and her.
It's these three girls who are trying to be kind of modern day, what are those sisters?
En Vogue.
Oh, no, the Pointer Sisters?
Well, I guess we should say En Vogue, but they're way too white to ever be En Vogue,
because En Vogue was good.
Well, so were the Andrew sisters from like the 30s or the 20s or whatever.
The Andrews sisters. They're trying to
where it's three part harmony.
I was like, you guys, these are all dissonant chords
and none of them even match the original note.
This isn't working.
This is just terrible. Please don't sing
ever. Don't even sing
video game music.
Don't even hum.
You're ruining Tetris
for me.
How did that work the arabesque?
That's like a Russian song.
Oh, well, you know.
So it's already kind of ruined.
So
I sort of assumed that
Africa was kind of smart. I don't know why. I think it's because
she has big hair and
she speaks relatively intelligently. And she's cute why. I think it's because she has, like, big hair, and she speaks, you know, relatively
intelligently. And she's cute.
And she's cute, and she doesn't speak
like Phaedra Parks.
But she is attracted to this guy, and the way that she
makes excuses for this guy, and says,
you know, I will take an honest man over
someone who will just tell me anything,
you know, in order to get into my pants.
I'm like, how about you just don't take either one of them, okay?
Yeah, exactly.
Or just, you know, think that, oh, well, the honest man,
it'll be a lot quicker to decide to dump him.
The guy who's lying.
Yeah, like, you know, and, you know,
there is something to be said about someone who wants to flatter you.
You know, there is something to be said about that, Africa,
as opposed to the guy who's like, well, you know, like, you know you're you're amazing and you got a great heart and you're beautiful
but um i'm fucking around and i'm fucking this girl alex and then he and then he has the balls
to say that alex came over to his house and he goes but i did not cook for her i was already
cooking and i was the gentleman that i am is that i offered her some of my chicken but i did not
cook for her i'm, shut the fuck up.
Why did you cook four breasts of chicken in a lovely way just for yourself?
Okay.
Yeah.
Why did you defrost all those Costco frozen chickens?
And like, garnish them with lemons and put like, like sprigs of rosemary on it just for yourself.
And be like, oh, oh, I guess you can have some of that.
Well, in his defense defense he did not fuck
her which i was shocked by because i thought he was gonna fuck her uh did you broke out did you
say in his defense he did not fuck alex yes because i thought he was going to well well i
think it's i think it's a good move that he did not go after her because she's nothing special
so anyway so the other big story of the episode was,
and we will get back to this Alex girl and Africa,
but we have to get to the other story,
which is that the white girl, Emily,
not to be confused with Emily 2,
who works...
Oh, God.
Emily 2 works in Emily's store.
I like, by the way,
I love how this show is all white people are the same.
Yeah.
They literally have the same names.
You know what?
Because, you know what?
Sorry, white people.
You deserve that.
Yeah.
At least one show.
Yeah.
Everyone is just fucking, every white girl is Emily.
Yeah, we totally do.
We totally do.
We do deserve it.
And I also love how, like, in other shows, when there's, like, two people with the same
name, it's like Emily R and Emily M. but in this case, it was just Emily 2.
It's Emily and
the lesser Emily.
If there's an Emily M,
it's like a Roman numeral.
Emily 100 or 50
or 1,000.
I don't know my Roman numerals.
Emily decided to put on a fashion show. Her really
annoying friend came over whose name I don't even know,
but she was like, oh my god, let's just put on a fashion show. Her really annoying friend came over, whose name I don't even know, but she was like, oh my god, like, let's just put on a fashion show already for cystic fibrosis.
Oh my god.
Okay, I have to interject here, because this was my favorite part of the episode.
And a lot of fun stuff actually happened in this episode, but this was my favorite part.
Emily.
Well, you know, my sister, when she was born, had this disease and she died of it.
And then my brother has it and he says it's like breathing through coffee straws.
I mean, that's why they adopted me.
So they could have one kid that didn't have sister, you know, to pass on the bloodline.
So basically, your parents adopted you just in case the other ones died.
That is the most horrible story i've
ever heard on tv and especially that you're right that's what they got me just in case the other
ones died of it oh my god yeah so that's why i'm really it's it's a it's something near and dear
to my heart she's like i'm a human insurance policy um so so then we had about 20 minutes of her prepping for her fashion show
um and freaking out about it which is like this is like a standard bravo thing where some stupid
person decides to put on a fashion show and thinks that they're in fucking milan when in fact they're
in some club in downtown atlanta with a bunch of drunken frat boys hanging out there like no one
cares if you're if you're if your fashion show starts five minutes late.
No one cares.
If your models aren't fully dressed, no one cares.
No one knows the difference.
Also, it's not like clothes that you made, you know?
Yeah.
It's like, oh, my God, who's going to wear that tie-dyed dress that we bought from Old
Navy, took the tag off of, and sewed our own tag into it?
And I love there was, like, this whole drama with Emily too.
Cause Emily too was late in getting the models over to drive.
And named sincerely,
which by the way,
I didn't know that we were naming kids after adverbs now,
but I guess we are.
You can't name your kids sincerely and not add a comma at the end.
Like at least,
at least name her
sincerity. That almost sounds like a name.
At least it's a noun.
Yeah.
Like Constance
or like...
I don't know.
Or name your child Generality.
Generality.
Shevs?
Have you met my child silently?
No, I met them quite loudly.
Her name is Silently.
Silently.
She's seen and not heard.
So Sincerely shows up late, whatever.
So Emily's freaking out.
But also Sincerely shows up late because...
Ronnie, you're cutting out.
Go on, say it again. Sincerely shows up late because... Ronnie, you're cutting out. Go on, say it again.
Sincerely shows up late because she's got some magical gig walking a red carpet for 30 minutes.
Like, what?
What's going on in Atlanta where Sincerely has to show up
to walk a red carpet?
Like, what?
What's happening in this town?
This means that, like, a hardware store opened up
and they're having a red carpet
and the biggest celebrity they could get is a woman
named Sincerely. People always think
about the screws. They don't think about the washers.
Thank you. This has been a message from
Sincerely.
I'm nuts and I gotta bolt.
So anyway, so then the fashion show starts happening and so stupid and amateurish the
fashion show is just a shade away from a high school graduation you know where someone walks
up gets a diploma and makes a weird like face at the audience that's what every model was doing
every model was like especially the guys they walked to the end pull up their shirt one guy
counted all his abs and did like, call me.
How creepy.
All of them were at one point. At one point, Tribble, that's his name, Tribble.
And by the way, there's a guy named Tribble.
That's awesome.
There's a guy named Tribble.
I think that when he's an old man and he's got jello just like dribbling down his mouth, I think that the nurses are going to laugh.
Because how can you not?
It's like a fate. It's like his fate.
Does he even
know that he's named after a creature from
Star Trek? Yes, exactly.
That's the first thing that I thought of.
Tribble and Sincerely.
So Tribble, at one point, he just takes off his shirt.
Listen, dude,
you're trying to sell the shirt, not take it off.
So anyway, while this is all happening uh africa goes into the bathroom and um alex goes in the bathroom also this was clearly not staged even though there was cameras are oh yeah and to
some fight where where where africa is like oh you stalking me? And I was like, I wouldn't have to stalk you because I got everything I need right here.
And then Africa's like, oh, well, you got everything right here.
Well, all I see is a joke.
She's like, I'm not a joke.
I'm serious.
You can look at me.
You can see all of me.
I can see your roots.
Your roots are up front and center.
Oh, well, your roots are like.
Oh, no, let's do this fight.
Okay, do you want to be Africa or Alex?
I don't care because it's all a blur to me.
So you choose one.
Can I be Emily too?
Yes.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, Lisa has to be Emily one,
who in the middle of this fight,
literally every 30 seconds,
they cut to a confessional with Emily being like,
I'm so glad we've raised awareness for cystic fibrosis.
So my siblings can stop
For every person who
walked into club is another person who
knows about cystic fibrosis. Cut
back to the bathroom of these two bitches fighting. It was
so surreal. If it weren't for cystic
fibrosis, I'd still be
unadopted.
This is all to donate
the Spread Cystic Fibrosis
to Save Orphans campaign.
If it weren't for cystic fibrosis,
I'd be Emily number two,
and Emily number two would be Emily number one.
If it weren't for cystic fibrosis,
I'd have some poor parent somewhere
be in the foster system, and I'd just be working
in this store instead of making it work.
Excuse me, I gotta go to a hardware
store red carpet.
I'm nuts, gotta bolt.
Because that was just too good not to steal
in the same podcast.
I'm nuts, gotta bolt.
I've been Emily number one for Ace Hardware.
Okay, so let's do the fight.
Okay, so Africa
walks into the bathroom. Alex is like,
oh, Africa's
going to the bathroom. Okay, so
I'll be Alex and you be Africa.
Oh, hello.
You're in the bathroom.
Are you stalking me now? Is that what you're doing?
Oh, girl, stalking? What?
You're stalking. We're in a bathroom.
Oh, yeah. At least I
know what a bathroom looks like.
At least I know what a toilet
is. At least I lease
my own toilet. At least I
own things. At least I have
parents who can buy me things.
Oh, well, uh, so your mom buys you things. I don't think you own anything. At least I have parents who can buy me things. Oh, well, uh, so your
mom buys you things. I don't think you own
anything. At least I have
a mom. Well,
you know what? Like, your mom's a wonderful
person, and they always say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Yes, she is. But the apple fell very far
from the tree and rolled down a hill, and a worm got
into it. Hills. Oh, the ground.
Oh, you're on the ground.
Uh, well, that's because I'm grounded. At least my head isn't in the clouds. Look, the ground. Oh, you're on the ground. Well, that's because I'm grounded.
At least my head isn't in the clouds.
Look at your hair.
You have hair.
I'm really glad
that everyone is learning about cystic fibrosis.
Get out of here.
Sincerely's calling you.
You know what? I've got rights
because I am grounded
in my womanhood.
Oh, you're in a hood. That's right.
Because my parents have money and you're poor with your hair.
Look at your hair.
This just ended the Alexia News break.
There's like a fight in Atlanta right now.
I'm just saying what's happening.
Okay, I gotta go. And then there's a fight. Okay?
Oh, we're in a bathroom.
Like, the fight made no sense.
It went from one thing that made...
Neither one of them had one witty, intelligent thing to say about the other.
Like, look, one of you is named Africa, okay?
Yeah, the reason why they had to keep cutting to Emily number one is because at one point, you know, they kept on turning to the producer and being like, uh, line, line.
But, you know, when they say that reality shows are really written, I really wish that that was true in cases like this.
Because those girls can't even handle
a fight. Like, all they did was say
things like, ew, look at your hair.
Ew, my mom's rich. Ew.
Well, at least, you are.
It was a big fight of you are.
I will say, though, I love the lighting in that bathroom.
It was like a dark bathroom with, like, lights.
That's how bad the fight
that happened in
film noir.
Film noir bathroom fight scenes.
I think that's just the proof that
even the bathroom knows
how to light black people better than
any show on network television.
Yeah, that's true.
Why can we suddenly see black people on TV now?
They finally got people who
don't work for network television because every time
there's someone, anytime you got people who don't work for network television. Because every time there's someone,
anytime you see a black character
on network television, you can never see them.
They're like, they give them no light and they put them
against a dark wall. You know, it's like,
what the hell, man? Learn to light black people.
This is just getting racist. So I'm glad to see
that the new Atlanta is picking up the slack.
Thank you, guys. Well, that's why it's called the new Atlanta.
Because with the new Atlanta comes new lighting
schemes. They're like, look, black people finally are really on your TV. Thank you. Well, that's why it's called the new Atlanta because with the new Atlanta comes new lighting schemes
Finally are really on your TV finally it's finally related to sincerely
Sister finally
Finale And this is my sister finale. I think Ronnie wanted to get that,
but once he got it.
Yeah, that was good shit.
It usually takes me a moment.
It sounds like we still have a delay.
We don't.
It's just I'm stupid.
So anyway,
I think we have reached the limit
of all the shows we can talk about.
We haven't even gotten to Nini.
Nini was so wonderful. Okay, we'll just have to give it up maybe we'll talk about nini next listen we didn't talk about the jersey
lost footage either which was stupid there's we just have to cut it off we have to cut it off
we talked we've covered a lot of stuff all right we covered miami we covered top chef we covered
new atlanta we covered gossip we covered all sorts Chef, we covered New Atlanta, we covered gossip, we covered
all sorts of things. We just have to end.
We have to end. Okay.
It's over. Okay, so before we
go, let us make some promises
of shows that we'll watch next week so people
know what they can watch and don't have to
try and watch ten hours of TV that we
only talk about five minutes of. Okay, what's the promise?
I'm making no promises.
I'm a promise. I still haven't seen last week's miami i'm like i'm like vaughn i'm just gonna tell you i'm gonna do shit for this you know what i like actually
is that lisa you know what you say you're great because i don't think you saw any of the episodes
we talked about today uh no i didn't I didn't. And you went from like
Hollywood to Echo Park on that subway.
I mean, you made it.
I'll be typing on my
typewriter.
Yes, yes.
Doing so much.
So Lisa, you're a champ because you were able to
come along with us even though
you really didn't know what we were talking about half the time.
Yeah, thank you so much for coming on this.
You guys are so sweet.
Anytime that we've gotten positive
feedback, if we ever get negative feedback,
then those people can go fuck themselves.
Anybody who's been really sweet
saying that they like me
guesting occasionally, thank you.
Thank you because it does a lot for me.
Yes.
You are probably our favorite guest
okay so this week let's say new atlanta because i actually have to watch it now because now i saw
this one and we have to see the end of the bathroom i have to say i actually i feel like
this is going on a vanderpump rules arc for me which is that yes okay and now i gotta watch next
because you know what just talking about it this past 15 minutes or an hour,
however long we've been talking about them.
They were so fun to make fun of that.
I realized I have to watch the show now.
Oh my God.
Matt's going to be so pissed that he quits and we finally start talking about
this show.
Cause he was behind this show from the beginning.
We're like,
no,
that's stupid.
And he's like,
fuck you guys.
I quit.
I'm on a new podcast called,
uh,
people are nice to me.
Called new Atlanta. Okay. I'm on a new podcast called People Are Nice to Me. Called New Atlanta.
Okay, so we'll watch New Atlanta.
And we're actually, there's kind of a dead zone week, right?
Because there's no more Jersey.
So Top Chef, Miami.
Okay, Top Chef, Miami.
And is that it?
Million Dollar Listing is over, right?
Okay, how about we'll watch, if we watch NeNe,
if we do NeNe, next week will have to be two podcasts, because
four shows in one podcast,
it's just, it's too long.
Well, we don't have to talk about Dixon
here next week.
And we can keep Top Chef shorter.
Okay, well, this was super fun, you guys.
Oh, yeah,
you do the end part, sorry. Do you see how I take over?
Okay, listen.
Alright, everyone, thank you so much for part. Sorry. Do you see how I take over? Okay, listen. All right, everyone.
Thank you so much for listening.
Please like us on Facebook, facebook.com forward slash watch what crap ends.
We really like it when people like us because we have low self-esteem.
And we also love it when you tell us what you think was really funny in the podcast, too.
I don't know why.
You can also please follow us on iTunes.
iTunes, just do a search for watch what crap ends. You can also follow us on Sound iTunes. iTunes, just do a search for Watch What Crappens.
You can also follow us on SoundCloud or Stitcher if you want.
But iTunes, you know, everyone loves iTunes.
You can follow Lisa at TimmonsLisa on Twitter.
Thank you, Lisa, so much for coming on this week.
I'm sure we'll have you back very soon.
Maybe even next week.
Who knows?
Maybe even next week.
And I just want to point out, too, if you like the rapport that Ben and I have, then you can also check out our podcast, Banter with Ben and Lisa.
Yes, indeed.
Please do listen to that and like us on Facebook, too.
Facebook.com forward slash Banter with Ben and Lisa.
I think, Lisa, how about we record a new episode tomorrow?
That sounds fantastic, Ben.
So everyone can look forward to that.
You know what we should do?
We should have Ronnie as a guest and basically just do this podcast all over again.
Yeah.
Tomorrow, Banter with Ben and Lisa will all be about counting Weight Watchers points and killing animals instead of being a vegan and sad and dreaming of M&Ms.
Yeah.
It's a much better life.
So you can follow Ronnie at TrashTweetTV on Twitter,
and you can follow me at B-Side Blog.
And thanks, everyone, for listening.
Tell all your friends we want to get more listeners to get addicted to our podcasts.
And I guess that's really it.
That's all I have to say.
Yeah, spread it like an STD, y'all.
Yeah, pretend you're on Vanderbilt.
Get it around. Yeah, spread it like a cold,, y'all. Yeah, pretend you're on Vanderbilt. Get it around.
Yeah, spread it like a cold, y'all.
Yeah.
All right, bye, everyone.
Bye, everybody.
Love you, me, and call me later.
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