Watch What Crappens - Atlanta Reunites, Is Crazy
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Hey everybody, it's Watch What Crappens, a weekly podcast about all things Bravo.
I'm Ben Mandelker from bsideblog.com and this week we only have Ronnie from TVgasm.
Hi Ronnie.
Oh wow, what a sweet intro, Ben.
Only you.
Only you.
Sad whore.
It's so sad.
It's so empty without Matt. Getting all flustered. Yeah, whatever. Screw you, Matt. Screw you, Matt. This'll teach you. Sad whore. It's so sad. It's so empty without Matt.
Getting all flustered.
Yeah, whatever.
Screw you, Matt.
Screw you, Matt.
This will teach you.
Yes, screw that guy.
We don't need Matt, okay?
We're fine just the two of us.
Yeah, we don't need Matt.
We don't need that stinking Matt Whitfield.
No Matt Whitfield from Yahoo.
What is that site anyway?
So, hey, let's talk housewives because we've got a lot, a lot, a lot of talking about these women to do today.
As opposed to the other days when we really don't have that much to say about them.
Yeah, exactly.
It's really like pulling teeth to get me to have any sort of opinion on these women.
And the most I can say is something very nice.
I can't control myself. My mom asked me to please get a life because she doesn't live here, and so I speak to her once every couple of weeks.
And everything in my life somehow went back to, well, did you see on Housewives?
Like if I'm having a fight with somebody, well, did you see how Nini dealt with that shit?
She just lied really, really loudly and just repeated herself a lot my mom's like seriously i think please i think this is going to be um our new ebook which is how
to live your life like a housewife you know spend money you don't have uh fight about things that
are unimportant and um i don't know i come up with drag queen businesses fake businesses and
pretend you're in fashion and do photo shoots every day for no reason with your family.
You know, that's actually not a bad idea.
Yeah, I kind of – as I'm saying this, I'm like, this is kind of fun.
Yeah.
Who are we to judge fake businesses?
We're bloggers and we have a podcast.
Yeah, I mean we are basically parasites onto their terrible lives.
We are hoping to capitalize on their lives.
We have an emptier shell of a business than they do.
Totally.
We have a business capitalizing on their fake business.
Yeah.
God, we're great.
And we all probably make about the same amount of money from it.
I don't know.
I'm rich, bitch.
I'm very rich.
I'm NeNe Leakes, and I'm very rich.
So why don't we start off with some new stuff?
Oh, yeah.
The biggest news that I read Bravo-wise this week is that Taylor, and now granted, this is coming from Radar Online, and they're so full of shit.
They'll have a headline like, Kim Kardashian
hates her mother! And then it'll
be like, they were seen at a flower shop
and Kim wanted a white rose
and the mom wanted a red rose.
Like, where in that
is the hate? Well, I don't know.
I was there for that moment, and it was
very tense.
I was like,
oh my god, just get tulips instead radar online is a paul bunyan site but
we love it anyway yeah and they're reporting that taylor heard gossip that she was gonna well radar
online reported the gossip that taylor was going to be phased out of the housewives of season
that she's still coming back but they're going to make her like a dana sized role and she's still coming back, but they're going to make her like a Dana-sized role. And she's apparently not happy about this.
Yeah, well, she heard about it and called them like, oh, isn't that a bunch of BS?
You guys would never do that.
And they were like, uh, hmm.
They're like, uh, what time is it?
I got to go.
I have a meeting over at the ironing board.
Yeah.
So now, of course, the next story is coming out.
And this is from like the Christian Post or the Christian Monitor or whatever.
They are up on shit.
Let me tell you right now.
Yeah.
No one knows the gossip like the Christians.
Oh, yeah.
Taylor Armstrong drinking heavily, headed to rehab?
Oh, so it's just a question mark headline?
Yeah, it's a question mark.
And also also he constitutes
drinking heavily to the christian monitor or whatever is that like having three glasses or
taylor every time you see taylor in a video on tmz or whatever she is falling down drunk
good for her good for her there's no there's no question she's like wait a second kim got so much
air time this year by just being wasted so so that's what I'm going to do.
Yeah, but Kim also has a really fun personality.
Sorry, sucka.
It's a cocktail.
You know, I recently joined Pinterest, and I really had nothing to pin because I don't really know what to pin.
So I found a really bad picture of Taylor Armstrong crying, and I pinned that onto Pinterest.
That's great.
That's what you should be pinning.
I know. I felt like I contributed, and in great. That's what you said. I know.
I felt like I contributed, you know, and in a certain way, Taylor helped me.
How do you feel?
I have a whole housewives board on Pinterest.
That's pretty much all I do on Pinterest.
I'm going to start following you.
I also have a board dedicated to quote unquote, my favorite athletes, which is really my code
word of saying athletes who I think are hot, but I'm too embarrassed to actually have a
board that says hot athletes.
My favorite half-naked guys.
Now, here's a question.
Do you think that the Real Houses of Beverly Hills should phase out Taylor?
Yes.
Why?
That woman's a mess.
Yeah, but isn't that what makes her great?
She's gross.
Okay.
She's really gross and fake, and she lies lies about everything and she's not really rich.
I mean, that show's really fun because those
women are all legitimately rich
and that alone makes it interesting.
Taylor's not. She's poor
and she's like clinging on to everybody
else and lying about godmother stuff
and then the second her husband dies
she comes out with a book
and then first he was kind of abusing
her like mentally and then he maybe shoved her a couple of times.
And now he's a serial killer, and she was afraid for her life.
Who jumps out of bushes.
Yeah, who jumps out of bushes.
Who jumps out of bushes and can take out an entire party of people.
Yeah, and she's traveling all over for her stupid book parties or whatever with her little kid signing that your daddy's a serial
killer book like she's just gross that woman's disgusting but isn't there whatever isn't but
isn't there like some wonderful comic value about seeing this mess of women like set loose in a
world of like high society i mean i i kind of i kind of enjoy it the schadenfreude of it all
i think that if they really were honest about it and showed what a
schemer she was and pointed out all the lies she tells yeah the woman she is then it would be fun
but bravo tries to make it not seem like that the only reason we know all this shit is because we
read the internet well and the internet never lies so i mean there we go yeah the internet is
total truth you guys like run by the christ So, I mean, they are up on everything.
They know what's up.
Do you think they should keep her?
What do you think?
I kind of feel like, yeah, she's so tragic.
I think you always keep the people that are, like, polarizing and have big personalities, even if they're weird.
I think you get rid of the boring people, you know?
Well, they got rid of Camille, so that's one stat.
Yeah, but Camille was good,
although she was kind of boring this season, but she stirred it up
a little bit. You know, other
franchises, they could
cut some women, etc. But I don't
know. I kind of feel like I sort of like
the Bonkers-Taylor dynamic,
especially because there was so much
shit with her during the reunion.
I like when there's a craziness at the reunion, then you come back in the season and they're all ready to go and attack each other and pull their hair out.
That's what I call fun time.
That's true.
It was worth it by reunion time because everyone was so sick of her crap.
And also Brandi called her out on every piece of BS, which was just beautiful.
So, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, I agree.
And if you like Bonkers Taylor, you're going to love her this season because she's got a drinking problem.
Everything.
Well, she's going to do everything she can to stay on the show.
I know.
I mean, she's going to be going apeshit.
It's like when Alex McCord, when there was rumors that she was going to be kicked off the show like two seasons ago, when she went from being like the nice, sweet one, she's like, oh, OK, so let me be crazy.
She started yelling all the time.
We should have Alex on the show. I think we could probably get her on the podcast i'm gonna put that out there put that out there to the universe but also because uh i think that we could actually
get her maybe next week who knows stay tuned everyone of course alex doesn't know this
i think my dog likes that idea because he was just humping his bear right now he's like yeah
yeah well you know sometimes alex has that effect on people My dog likes that idea because he was just humping his bear right now. He was like, yeah. Yeah.
Well, you know, sometimes Alex has that effect on people and dogs.
I get horny every time.
Every time I think of Alex McCord, I get horny, and I'm going to tell her that.
Alex, you should know that.
I get so horned up.
Oh.
Yeah, I think Alex would probably do kind of anything at this point.
Simon would make her.
Come on, darling.
We need the press, sweetie.
You made a very high society British there.
He just come from the opera, and now he's going to the House of Commons to pass a bill with the lords.
Watch out for me on Twitter, sweetie.
I'll get my revenge on you on Twitter.
I firmly believe that Alex is a nice person, actually.
But there's other Bravo gossip that we have to talk about.
Are you ready to hear some more?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
Ready?
Ready?
Ready?
I'm totally ready.
So in non-Housewives news, the Kathy Griffin – Kathy Griffin's talk show is starting up this week.
It's called Kathy.
And Kathy announced today that she's been re-banned on the Today Show, and she blames Natalie Morales.
Why do you think – I mean, do you think at this point – Kathy Griffin is so big.
Do you think it's ridiculous that these shows keep banning her?
No.
Oh, okay.
Anyway. No, I don't because she's such an asshole i mean of course they ban her
i've been from a lot of places and i'm not even famous they're just like oh my god that guy's
gonna have a martini and start telling people off for no reason don't invite him i know those
people at kukuru are really strict. Totally. Totally.
Are you excited to see her new show?
Kind of.
I get a little sick of her because she gets a little – it's just kind of the same schtick all the time.
But come on.
That's kind of a fickle thing to say because I love her.
Yeah.
And I go see her live all the time.
I really like her.
I mean she's hilarious.
I remember when she had a show that was on like VH1 like maybe eight or nine years ago. love her yeah and i go see her live all the time i really like her i mean she's hilarious i remember
when she had a show that was on like vh1 like maybe eight or nine years ago and she just had
a big panel of people including her parents and they would talk about reality shows and i thought
it was so funny it lasted for like maybe a month and a half um so i'm excited for this one plus
our friend michelle collins is writing for it and you know michelle is oh yeah then i'm definitely
excited yeah watch well michelle is honestly the funniest woman that i know one of the funniest Collins is writing for it. And, you know, Michelle is. Oh, yeah. Then I'm definitely excited.
Yeah.
I'll watch it.
Well, Michelle is honestly the funniest woman that I know.
One of the funniest people that I know next to you, of course, Ronnie and Matt
Whitfield.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
That was totally sincere.
Very sincere.
I just have so much sincerity in me.
I just I don't know what to do with it.
Sometimes I almost feel like my own show.
She is hilarious. Yeah. She works over for those of you who don't know what to do with it sometimes. I almost feel like Bravo is going to be my own show. She is hilarious.
Yeah, she works over – for those of you who don't know who she is, she works over at Best Week Ever Blog.
Yeah, Michelle Collins.
It's hilarious.
I just read her Mad Men premiere recap and was dying.
No, Michelle left Best Week Ever Blog.
She left to go work on Kathy.
Oh, she left that one?
Yeah.
You're supposed to keep your job blogging forever.
No, no, no, no.
She left it.
Does that mean if I get a real job, I quit TVgasm?
O-M-J.
You know, people may have noticed I'm not posting a lot on my blog lately, and that's because I'm doing some writing on the side as well.
But I'm going to keep B-Side blog going.
Don't you all worry.
And there will be more content to come.
Look, there's a little plug for my site.
Because this podcast is really about me.
You know?
I know. We're saying nothing about anything on
Bravo.
We like naked guys and we're both
looking for other jobs.
This is what happens when Matt's not here. We go crazy.
We need someone here to
get flustered and get mad about Candy Burris.
Okay, well, is that enough gossip?
Yeah.
Because I think we should start talking about Atlanta.
All right.
Let's go right.
Speaking of Candy Burris, let's go right into Atlanta.
Okay.
Here's my first question.
What the hell?
That is my question.
What the hell?
That reunion last night.
WPH.
You know, let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something here, Ronnie.
You know, let me tell you something.
Let me tell you something here, Ronnie.
Real Housewives of Atlanta, their first ever reunion four seasons ago was the crazy one where they, like, stood up and they were going to push. And that was, like, we hadn't seen anything like that on the reunions before.
They'd always been very tame.
And that's what put them on the map.
And in the last two seasons, the reunion sucked.
This year, whoa, they brought it back.
Well, they started this one off. looks so pissed off intense because they know that they're entering the thunderdome oh yeah
like all the cast start off this way now because they know they're screwed and they're all gonna
get called on you know really embarrassing stuff yeah and you know in this cast they're like oh
jesus nini's gonna go all angry black woman on us.
What defense are we going to have?
I think that Candy had the best defense because she went right after her ass.
Yeah, well, that's more of an offense, but yes.
Well, she waited to defend herself.
She didn't start until Nene started.
But, man, was she ready to go once she got attacked by Nini.
And you know what?
Kandi looked great.
She looked the best of the night, I think.
And actually Kim, I thought, came off pretty well, oddly enough.
I thought, like, Nini, do we like Nini anymore?
Has Nini jumped the shark?
I mean, sure she has a sharp tongue and sure she can be like, sort of like, you know you can't take your eyes off of her when
she's going nuts but at the same time it's sort of just getting unpleasant she's nini's just a
horrible person and i think sometimes with people like that they can be really fun and really funny
if they have some kind of self-awareness yeah but nini really doesn't get the joke like she
doesn't seem to understand.
She's not really funny.
She's one of those people who says stuff in a funny way.
Yeah.
So that you laugh, you know, because like the voice goes up or she has that attitude that you're like, oh.
Yeah.
But she's really – she really very rarely says anything funny.
She's just a –
She's got timing.
She's got great timing and she can – and she has a way with words. But she doesn't – she's not actually funny. She's just got timing. She's got great timing and she has a way with words, but she's not
actually funny. She's not
only a mean bitch, she's a mean
dumb bitch. And she's a compulsive liar.
Like, she never tells
the truth about anything.
She's constantly lying. And she's
just hateful for no reason, you know?
She's like, oh, I'm so sick of all these
40-year-old ladies. I'm over it.
These 40-year-old women just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, gossiping and blah.
It's like, really?
What have you ever done other than that?
Yeah, exactly.
Well, she thinks she's hot shit because she was on The Celebrity Apprentice, which, by the way, you know who else was on Celebrity Apprentice?
That girl with the red hair that was on two seasons ago, which example is that no one remembers who that girl is.
And she also thinks that she's hot shit.
She also thinks she's...
Meaning that just because you're on Celebrity Apprentice
doesn't mean you're a superstar. You can be forgotten
in two seasons later. Yeah, you know who else is on
Celebrity Apprentice, bitch? Lou Ferrigno.
Okay? Yeah, yeah, exactly.
And she thinks she's hot shit because she has
had three guest spots on
Glee. Well, you know who else had three guest spots on Glee?
The dude working at Starbucks down the street here in LA.
People get guest spots on TV shows.
It doesn't make you a superstar, OK?
Good for her.
And she was only given that because Ryan Murphy, the creator of Glee, is such a queen.
And he loves the housewives.
So he just added her a thing.
It's not like she got discovered in acting class.
She needs to get over herself.
Yeah, people think that she's like – I mean people said that she is good on the show and maybe some more opportunities will come her way.
But honestly, with that sort of attitude, I don't know.
She'll turn on a lot of people.
She's just hateful.
She's not even fun.
She's hateful.
And she's such a hypocrite.
Everything that she's been on everybody else about, she's now doing.
She called Kim a whore about Big Papa.
Now what's she doing?
She's boning some dude for the jewelry.
Yeah.
Like admittedly.
Yeah.
Now the thing is – and then there's this whole thing where I think Shereeie brought up um well let me back up nini's whole
line of the night this hour seemed to be dedicated to nini discussing how rich she was i'm rich bitch
she said even if people even if i'm like not beautiful i'm rich or like it was like everything
out of her mouth was her saying that she's rich you know and which was craziness craziness and
she could not have looked more livid than when Kim actually suggested that Candy was probably the wealthiest of them by far, which was not only true.
It was hilarious that for a moment all these women were willing to admit that they were not wealthy only to shut up NeNe. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, the whole night turned into how rich is everybody which i thought was hilarious because
as camille grammar will tell you that means you're poor yeah yeah exactly and so so the other thing
so so so when this man comes out like kim says you know candy is probably the wealthiest of all
and nini looks like she's gonna lose her shit she's like well we don't know that it's like
come on nini you have to like get over this. It's so tacky.
But at the same time, I mean, where would we be if these women weren't tacky?
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Totally. And you know what? All the rest
of them, I know that they're tacky, but I
think they're so fun. But Nini,
she's so great.
So Nini's going on about how rich she is,
and Shreya mentions, well, if you're
so rich, how come you got a son who's stealing from
Walmart? And so that's when things got... then, of course, that gave Nene the right to be like, don't bring up my kids.
Don't bring up my kids.
We will not go there.
Then she just repeated that line over and over again.
But here's the question, though.
Bryson's not a minor.
He's like 22.
You can bring him up, right?
It's like 22.
You can bring him up, right?
Well, I think it's reality show code of honor not to bring up the kids.
Yeah, but he's literally 22, 23.
He's an adult at this point.
He can be brought up. It was shady of her to do it, but God, it was so funny.
And Nene's argument was hilarious.
She's like, what?
How is that my fault?
He's an adult.
So, you know, some children
out here, they getting DUIs,
they stealing, and you
telling their parents that it's their fault?
Yes, NeNe, yes.
That's what she's saying. Like, shitty, terrible
parenting leads
to shitty, terrible children.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what she's saying.
If her argument is that he was stealing not because she was poor, then he was stealing because he needed attention.
And you know what that means?
She's a shitty parent.
Yeah.
Either way you slice it, she's a shitty parent.
And she's like –
Sorry.
She's like, you raise your kid to be a certain way, whatever, and sometimes they make a mistake.
Well, let me tell you also, this is not Bryson's first mistake, okay?
He has been basically
fucking up, like, year after
year on this show. He gets a DUI and you
go buy him a new car. Like, hello.
Wait, did he get the DUI before or
after? I'm not sure on the facts there, but...
I'm not sure. I mean, this seems to be
holding true for all the kids on this show,
on all these shows, which is that, like,
they could, they could knife someone
in the throat and their parents would get them a Jeep Wrangler.
Oh yeah, Brielle
will be doing... Brielle is
going to be one of the worst adults
in a decade.
She's going to be the new Bravo
Tramp. She's going to be embarrassing.
She's actually going to have a G4.
Or she'll have a private helicopter.
Yeah, and guess whose fault that is? Kim's.
Totally. 100%.
I'll tell you who won't be
fucking up. That little Ariana.
She's an angel.
She's a sweetheart.
She's going to be like a production manager
or some shit. She's going to actually
have a job. Yeah, she's going to open up
a natural food store or something silly.
I just
don't understand how parents... I don't understand
the line of thinking that they do.
If your kid graduates from Harvard
and becomes a lawyer, all you do
is talk about that fucking kid and take credit
for that kid. But the second that kid
does something wrong, I'm like, wouldn't me.
That's all him.
All him. Now, what did you
think about when Sheree and Nene started to fight?
They had this big, long fight that ultimately ended in Nene being like, fix that butt.
And Sharae saying, fix that face.
And they just said it over and over and over again until Andy stepped in.
I would really love to sit down with that again.
It's recorded on the computer.
So I'd really love to sit there and decipher what they're saying. Because they over-talk each other so much with such nonsensical bullshit.
I think it's got to be hilarious line by line.
Yeah, I agree, but I can tell you what it whittles down to is Nene telling Shrae to fix her teeth and Shrae telling Nene to fix her face.
And it just is – I mean that's what it comes down to.
Look at those teeth.
Yeah, she got something done to those teeth, but you can't tell because she ate one of them.
What?
Yeah.
She's still missing some.
What the hell?
Do you ever get the sense that when they fight, they actually don't – they're not even really making any sense.
They just take the last word they hear and they just recite it back in a way that – in a hostile tone.
So it's like, girl, your chest is flatter
than if it's been ironed.
Well, let me tell you something about iron.
My iron is hot, and so is your face.
My face isn't hot. My face is like an envelope.
Oh, yeah, well, I'm going to steal that envelope
and send it out to Pakistan.
Pakistan, I'll tell you one thing.
I'm in a pack. It's not something named Stan.
Actually, you're way too logical.
Your leaps are way too logical.
I think they go
more off just guttural sounds,
or guttural feelings.
You can't touch me, bloop, bloop.
Fall down. You best fall down.
Look at my face. Look at your face.
Look at Kyle.
That's true. You're right. I was being way too
cerebral about it.
You can't touch me. I'll touch whoever I want. No. You can't touch me. I'll touch whoever I want.
No, you can't touch me. I'll touch whoever I want.
Well, I'm going to drink a cup of water. Well, I'm going to have a drink of water.
I can drink whatever I want.
You're the only bitch who can have water, bitch.
Don't you touch me, bitch. Don't touch me. I'll touch you, bitch.
What? What? What?
Well, you know, and then eventually it just turns into Sheree versus Marlo where they were just literally making noises.
Yeah, but that reunion after that section happened, then it turned into, well, Sheree is not rich either.
And Andy came right out and said, well, you know, Sheree, if you look at the internet, people are saying that maybe you're spending all the money on cars and jewelry while your kids are sleeping on a blow-up mattress in your house.
She says, that's not a blow-up mattress.
That's just a pillow that my dog sleeps on.
And my reaction is you have your kids sleep on the pillow that your dog sleeps on?
You just made it ten times worse.
At least a blow-up
mattress would have taken some time
from their mother.
You would have had to put some effort into that.
Some effort to blow it up.
She wouldn't have done that. She would have just let it sit there flat
until maybe her son
got a pump. She's like, what's your mom's pump for?
She's like, I'll tell you, you'll get a pump when your dad
pays for a pump.
You best use your mouth.
If you want a pump, you better ask your dad
because he's not paying for anything else around here.
So that turned into Sharae's
sobby victim
monologue about
her cross-eyed lug of a husband.
I'm sorry, but her argument is
completely invalidated every time they
show up a close-up of that giant
rhinoceros with crossed eyes.
Like, because you
know, it's like, she only married
that man because he had any money.
No one's denying it.
No one's pretending that it's anything
other than that. And now
that he doesn't make any money, she's, you know.
Well, he should still pay the child support.
I don't care.
Even if she is buying those bags, like, he should still do it.
Well, of course, you should always pay your child support.
But I guess what I'm saying is it's hard to feel sorry for Sheree, you know.
Because that question is very true.
You see her driving around
in her Jag or whatever the hell it is.
Mm-hmm. And she lives in
this, like, tiny, sad apartment.
And her kids, like, you know... Well, she's building
Chateau Sheree. Don't you worry. There will soon be
ample lodging for her children.
Oh, how fun. I loved
that part of the show.
When he was like, oh, I call it Neverland.
Which, by the way, doesn't actually make sense to call it neverland it's more like never house yeah it's like someone who's never
actually paid attention to what peter pan yeah like what's going on on the screen but she's
heard the word or she knows that michael jackson lived there and then i liked how sheree got all
like huffy about like phaedra going on plan she's like oh you didn't see the no trespassing sign
there was no gate to hang it off of.
There was literally nothing on the lot.
I missed that. That's hilarious.
She got mad. Oh, Mimi was great, though.
Yeah, I call that place Neverland
because that's what it is.
Neverland. So I call it
Neverland because you know what it is?
A land that's never. That's why.
I'm going to call it Neverland.
She'll just keep talking and talking and talking.
She hears two words that sound like they sort of should make sense together, but they really don't.
They really don't.
It never was.
And then, Andy, well, you went to the house.
What did you see?
Some dirt and some sticks.
I'm surprised you didn't call it Dirt and Sticks House.
It's a house of dirt and sticks.
I'm going to call that Sticks and Stones Can Break My Bones, but all you've got is a house, it's sticks, and a hole.
A hole and some sticks.
How great is that?
I know.
Leah Black needs to be on this show to follow up.
I agree.
How fun was that?
Let's not overlook uh go back to
nini's uh fight with candy wherein uh candy was basically calling out nini for acting like she
was so above being around a sex toy when in fact she used to strip and then i believe nini had a
line that was something along the lines of like i stripped i do not want to put a dildo on my vajayjay
end of discussion i said people can grow and good for people growing.
I don't care if I stripped in my 20s, 30s, or 40s.
I don't want a dildo on my ass.
Is that bad?
I like that she kept screaming.
Is that bad?
Sometimes I wish these women were articulate just to save us the aggravation. So I wish Candy had said, it's strange to me because you used to be a stripper and you seem to be comfortable with sexuality and yet around sex toys you get very huffy.
That's all she needed to say.
But of course she says it in an oblique way and says you're being judgmental, whatever, and then Nini goes off, whatever.
And by the way, she does need a dildo up her vajayjay because she is going a cray-cray in her vajayjay, clearly.
Yeah, she needs a little something
and she is a little frigid to be a stripper
but I think a lot of strippers when they
get a little older feel that way
because you know what pigs men are when you're
a stripper, you know what I mean?
When you have your ass in someone's face.
Oh, and that was a great comeback by Candy
too. She's like, well, I'm just
saying, you bending
over and putting your ass in some
man's face and now you got a problem so funny whatever she's rich bitch she's rich and then
oh what was i gonna say we actually that i think that was all the first segment right
because now oh no no we skipped ahead because of cherie's or cherie's divorce but
yeah um i was just looking at something on this little note thing oh another compulsive liar
is kim zolci oh yeah does that woman think everyone's an idiot i mean that woman does
not tell the truth about anything so kim um how do you think your husband feels about living with the furniture that Big Papa gave you?
Well, you know, that was my furniture, and I never took that furniture from nobody.
I mean, that stuff has been in storage for years.
I have a lot of stuff, and, you know, I would never do that.
I would never move in with someone else's stuff with my man.
But you said on the show that, you know, you said, watch out, that's
something Big Papa gave me. Oh, well,
it's probably a vase or something, but I wouldn't move in
with stuff that he gave me.
Yeah, we just saw you moving in
with stuff that he gave. And she just goes
on and on, lying and lying.
To be fair, the Versace stuff
that she has is not Versace
Italian designer. It's Versace
V-E-R-S-A-C-H-I.
It's a knockoff that comes from Pomona.
It's all plastic
wear.
So she did have that.
She bought it at Target.
It's nice. It has floral patterns
on it. Versace.
So,
Kim, it's so weird
not seeing you smoking and drinking all the time.
Oh, yeah.
Well, you know, I didn't even start smoking and drinking again after I had the kid.
I just never got back into it.
Yeah, actually.
Yeah, you did.
No, no.
Well, you know, maybe, you know.
I had to get drunk for my wedding.
But definitely not while I'm pregnant.
She's such a fucking liar, that woman.
Kory probably knocked her up so that So I should stop smoking around the house.
I don't know.
She is a liar.
But given how crazy Nini was being, Kim came off seeming somewhat rational, you know?
Well, Kim tried to take a page out of the Bethany Frankel reunion playbook.
Because you remember Bethany's last reunion.
She just got her own show, and everyone hated her, and they kept trying to go after her,
and she was just like, whatever.
I can't take it.
She was fairly calm and classy, and Kim – so far, Kim has kept the – I mean, I would
say classy is the wrong adjective.
Let me tell you something.
This is a problem for Nini because you know you're in trouble if Kim is calling you out for being new money.
Okay?
That is a problem.
If Kim can suddenly recognize the difference between old money and new money and you're the reason why she can do that, then you're really bad.
You're in a really bad place.
You know?
You know Nini's also in trouble because look at the facts here.
There's two gay guys right now talking for an hour about housewatch shows.
Yeah.
And we both hate Nene.
Yeah.
If you've got two gays hating you and you're a sassy black woman, you really need to readjust.
You've done something wrong.
You've done something big time wrong.
Yes.
It's in our blood to love you.
You're alienating your fan base.
Yeah.
That's what you're doing. It's like calling ourselves gay and not enjoying penis.
It's like waking up and suddenly something that's just so embedded in you is just gone.
Wow.
Well, you know, maybe like the religious right should embrace Nini and turn all the gays back straight or something.
Maybe that's what's going on.
Something strange is happening in the air, I have to say.
Well, next week we have another – I'm excited for next week's reunion when Peter comes out and acts like an asshole as usual.
And I think that's – I mean I think Black Babygate comes to the fore again.
So that should be fun.
In the meantime, why don't we move on to –
Oh, wait, wait.
We've got one more thing.
Twitter fight.
Oh, yeah.
I love the Twitter fights.
I like when he's like, bitch, get off my timeline.
I can say what I want on my timeline.
Well, isn't you saying stuff about my kids?
Isn't that the same thing?
Just because it's on Twitter, it's not the same thing?
What you talking about?
I never talk about your children.
And she quotes the text.
Well, that's not about them.
I'm just saying that mama's a hoe.
I love that show.
I'm going to be so sad.
I know it's been a fairly boring season for that show, but it's still good.
Yeah, it's still – I mean there still are like funny lines scattered throughout it all the time.
I mean it's it's i still laugh yeah i i
it's i mean i'm i'm already missing it a little bit um and then okay sorry i messed up your um
transition go for it go for it all right let's have a brand new transition where so going from
those bitches in atlanta let's go to the bitches in Orange County.
That was a really bad transition.
I'm sorry.
There was nothing artful about that.
Yeah.
You're like, I'm just going to call women bitches.
We call them bitches.
Yeah.
I'm from the Nene Lee School of drag queen comedy where I just say things that sound racy but actually are not funny or interesting.
Those bitches with their cocks out.
That's what drag queens are like to me.
They just say things like that.
Anyway, let's talk about those bitches with their cocks out in Orange County.
So now one thing that happened this week.
First of all, I have bad news for you, Ronnie.
I know you requested that there be not an episode that involves some sort of hospital
or doctor procedure, medical procedure.
And sorry, this was not the episode that involves some sort of hospital or doctor procedure, medical procedure.
And sorry, this was not the episode because Tamara got her boobs out.
So that happened.
Not exciting.
They just came out.
Now, Alexis, we saw another segment of Alexis doing the news, which is, to me, the funniest shit ever.
Like, can they give her a spinoff?
Can we see her doing the news, like, on her own show? Give it half an hour each week.
Alexis goes to the news
station,
files some dumb report, and we watch
it. Honestly, I think that would be the funniest
shit ever. I would watch that.
I love watching Alexis.
I laugh and laugh.
She's hilarious.
There's nothing else I can say to that. She's just funny. I'm stunned is hilarious. I mean – and well, there's nothing else I can say to that.
She's just funny.
But she's – I'm stunned into silence.
But now – but here's the thing though.
We may not see that because Jim told Alexis that he wants her to give up her news gig.
Do you think that he's jealous of her success?
No.
I honestly think that he's just not a diaper changer.
Yeah. uh no i i honestly think that he's just not a diaper changer and i think he's i think that
jim is one of the most honest people on the show at least with who he is yeah that's true now he's
a horrible disgusting example of a human being and a man yes but at least he's honest about it
and i totally believed him he's like fuck. I'm not driving the kids around.
I didn't pay to raise brats.
I paid you to drop those things out and take care of them.
I don't even want to fucking look at those kids.
It's bad enough I have to support them and pay for their college.
Get your ass home, slut.
He's like, we're one flesh, but you're the part of the flesh that stays home.
I'm the part of the flesh that goes out and fucks other flesh.
You've got to love Alexis.
Well, you make it sound like we signed a contract or something.
Kind of did.
It's called marriage.
Marriage.
Now, do we think – like there was a part of me that it sort of sounded like his reasoning was saying that like there's the fashion line and then there's the news thing.
It seemed like he was implying as an excuse for this that she was spreading herself thin do you think where if alexis had to focus on one
thing news or fashion where do you think she would find uh the most success oh the most success yeah
which one do you think would be the biggest door fashion fashion real oh yeah i guess there are
enough people that would buy that slutty stuff. Sluts.
Fashion because, first of all, everything she's ever made has already been made.
And I know because I see it all over the place in California.
So I think that people would buy it if she just had someone who could do the business end because you know her ass can't.
Yeah.
And strippers need evening gowns anyway.
Totally.
There's a total market for her clothes. There are enough people with big fake boobies that need the right dress to wear on East.
You can never underestimate local Southern California news.
I mean she could become the next weather girl in Los Angeles with the boobs like that.
I don't know who is listening to this podcast from around the country or around the world perhaps.
But the women that are on the local news here in LA,
they all dress like strippers. They dress like
the girl on the second floor of my building who I think
may be a man, but she may be a woman
and she looks like a
huge whore.
When I went out
to visit, the news came on
and I was like, oh my god,
this is the holiest newscast
I've ever seen. And my dad goes uh it's
the news yeah like that they don't have to be hot i mean god bless them they sit there all day
reading off cue cards like let them eat yeah no it's like when you live in la you sort of forget
that like newscasters are generally considered to be like austere and like respected and then
out here like the honestly, they look like
porn stars. The men look like typical
newscasters, but they really slut up
these women like crazy. I kind of feel like it's
almost degrading. Almost as degrading as
me calling them a whore.
If you don't have half a boner while you're listening
to stories about children being
dismembered on the south side,
then they're just not doing their job here in L.A.
They certainly are not.
They certainly are not.
So speaking of massive career opportunities, so Gretchen has this – she's going to be
singing with the Pussycat Dolls.
And my question is this.
How long can Gretchen keep saying that she's lost her voice before she admits that she
actually has no singing voice?
It's been now about like four episodes where she's like,
I've lost my voice.
I was yelling at Vicky so much.
I'm like, excuse me, it's been about like three weeks now.
And I'm not talking about three weeks of airtime.
I mean, like, it's been three weeks since that fight at Bunko Night happened.
Okay, you can't still have lost your voice.
We weren't screaming for hours on end.
You're not Adele, okay?
You're not Adele.
Adele had throat cancer and still came back and did a pitch-perfect performance at the Grammys.
Yeah.
Don't even say Adele in the same sentence.
I dare you.
I know.
Well, every – you know, whenever you – I do musicals and stuff.
And whenever you go to a musical audition, there's always that person.
Oh, they're wearing a scarf.
You know, they've got like the scarf around their neck.
They're obviously sucking on something, usually a Ricola.
They're doing things like...
Walking back and forth so everybody knows that they're dedicated.
And they always complain that they're sick and they really hope they can get it together.
And they're always fucking terrible.
Always.
And they're always fucking terrible.
Always.
Well, is there something sort of like funny about the idea of Gretchen being really scared about how her voice sounds when she's auditioning for the Pussycat Dolls who are not necessarily known for their brilliant vocals?
I mean like you could probably sound like a fart and make it into that band as long as you can dance and look hot.
Yeah, I don't know what she's so scared about.
She's basically a stripper, right?
Like her burlesque girl.
Burlesque is for one gig.
It's in Vegas.
This isn't for like she's not recording on their new album.
And she's been singing Fever, which, by the way, is not a hard song to sing.
Like every minx can sing that song.
It's like the minx anthem, you know?
I would think that the biggest problem is going to be remembering words and remembering down steps and just generally not looking like a fucking idiot.
Well, she already sprained her ankle, so everything's going wrong for her. They're just going to put her in a chair and she can slink around and it'll be fine.
She needs to stop worrying.
She also has to remember the fact that she's a bigger star than any of the other girls
in the Pussycat Dolls currently.
I think she should just get rid of Slade and go get herself a rich, homely man
and be done with it. She's only got a good five years left before she's really going to have to
learn a skill. Yeah, exactly. And we don't want to see that. How do we feel about Gretchen's
friend, Sarah, who got wasted at Heather's bowling night and tried to confront Vicky and said, I need to talk to you about something.
And Vicky just goes, no, no thanks.
And then she's like, oh, my God, she was so mean.
I just wanted to go and, like, I just wanted to go meet her and, like, get to know her.
Are you doing me like that right now?
I just wanted to talk.
I just wanted to introduce myself and get to know you.
Are you doing me like that?
And then Vicky is like, yeah, we met at my house.
Do I need to meet her twice?
I love the dazed and confused look on that poor girl's face.
Just trying to cause a little drama, and she can't get it.
It totally backfired on her face.
Totally.
She looked like such an idiot.
And her boyfriend, who looked like some weird holdover from an 80s boy band from Britain, was there trying to calm her down.
But she was just a disaster.
I think she was trying to make her big splash, and she did in all the wrong ways.
Yeah.
Do we want to see more of her? No. Hell no. I think she was trying to make her big splash, and she did in all the wrong ways. Yeah. Do we want to see more of her?
No, hell no.
I think she was a one-off.
Even Gretchen was like, no, this is not good.
She brought Gretchen and Vicky together.
That's not a good thing.
I know.
Like the close-up of Gretchen deleting her number off of her cell phone.
She's like, see you later.
Was there anything else on OC?
I can't even remember anything.
I think that was basically it.
That was the exciting stuff, right?
Yeah, that was.
Oh, well, wasn't this the episode where Slimeball Graham, is that his name?
Vicky's man?
Brooks.
He was like, oh, Brooks.
Yeah, he's like, here's a card.
Oh, yeah. He's like, here's a card. Oh, yeah.
He's like, here's a card.
So what are your assets?
Oh, yeah.
How about we talk about your assets?
And Vicki's taking it like someone's showing interest in her.
Well, we've got the house, the boat.
We've got the account and the camons.
We've got an electricity bill that board. We've got the account and the camons.
We've got an electricity bill that's been paid a year in advance.
So if someone's going to get that money back, we've got – That is like foreplay for Vicki.
She loves talking about like itemized deductions and life insurance and anything that has to do with business and work.
That gets her totally horny. I don't want to tell you exactly what I have, but I'll tell you how much insurance will have to pay out if there's a big fire.
But that guy's obviously a slimeball and a con man, and it's so sad that Vicky's just going along with it.
They're all slimeballs and they're all con men.
I think he's the least offensive.
Oh, actually, Eddie's not a slimeball or a con man.
No, no. Ben, he said
there's no us
without the you.
He's the worst. I think that
that makes him the worst.
Brooks said that, right? Or did Eddie say that?
I don't remember. No, Brooks said that.
I can't keep track of all the mindless drivel
that these guys say.
Eddie's like, you're getting your boobs taken out because –
You know, you're supposed to be my beard, and you're just making yourself look more like a boy, so this is really difficult for me.
So while we go on to Shadows of Sunset, did you watch the finale last night?
I did.
What did you think?
You first. Okay okay here's what i
think um this is like the episode where everyone who i thought was cool in mj's life turns out
they're awful people they're hideous terrible people starting with sammy okay sammy i don't
know if he was put up to this by the producers he sets up mj on a blind date with her ex, who's this overbearing chauvinist guy, which I thought
was so massively offensive, especially when she was kind enough to set Sammy up with a
hot piece of Jewish ass.
And she sets him up with that, and he sets her up with her ex, because he's like, nah,
he's a good guy, deserves a second chance.
It's actually a really fucked up thing to do,
especially if this guy has these overbearing tendencies.
He tries to basically rape her in the Roosevelt Hotel lobby,
which, by the way, funny note,
they couldn't even film in one of the restaurants or the bars.
They had to film in the lobby of the hotel.
And then she runs away, and when she confronts Sammy about it,
he says, nah, nah, you were liking it, I could tell.
It was so disgusting, I thought, of Sammy.
And on top of the fact that he spritzed his belly with, I don't know, Dracar Noir or whatever it was.
Okay.
Well, I'm glad you brought this up first because at first glance, yes, I'm in total agreement with you.
Yeah.
But here's a couple things.
Sammy said, you know, this guy deserves another chance, and plus he's the only one that will call her on her shit, which is awesome.
Okay, now that sounds like a total dick thing to say.
But look, honestly, without taking sides, look how the evening progressed.
She shows up in a two-inch skirt with her big-ass vagina hanging out all over the place.
She ends up with this dude.
He's all over her.
She's kind of giggling a little bit under him and playing around.
She was wasted, which means that she's gone through dinner and all that stuff with this
going on, giggling like she was then.
And then she turns in when she's all drunk and she's just ready to get out of there, then she turns in.
Well, I hate to break it to you, but it's sort of like date rape.
Like, well, she was drunk and then we had sex.
And so, well, it was her fault for getting drunk.
It doesn't quite work that way.
It was – no, it's not the same.
I mean if it was rape, then of course I'm not going to be like she deserved to get raped.
I don't mean to trivialize rape to this situation
with MJ, but basically, I mean,
the situation is this. So this guy might
call MJ on her shit. The point is
he's supposed to be her friend
and regardless of what their situation
is, they're broken up and it is so
fucked up to set her up
with an ex. And then on top
of the fact that he is also this hideous guy.
I mean, I really thought he, like, I don't care if he calls her out on her shit, like, find someone else. And then on top of the fact that he is also this hideous guy. I mean I really thought he – like I don't care if he calls her out or shit.
Like find someone else.
And then Sammy says, well, you know, I try – I asked a few other guys and they're like, oh, she's that girl who does this.
She's that girl who does this.
Like how about this?
Why don't you ask someone who's not one of your like fat, ugly friends?
How about that?
Yeah, but like think about the specific – OK.
Think of the specific examples Okay, think of the specific
examples we've seen of MJ.
When MJ is with her mother, she's an abuse
victim. When she's with Reza,
she's a fun hag. And when
she's at a party, she's a drunk
fucking idiot.
I don't think we've ever seen her anywhere
in public drinking
that she doesn't act like a complete
crazy person.
That's true.
So I think that this guy has been dealing with her for a long time,
and he's like, listen, I tried hooking you up with all these people who wouldn't because you're the kind of girl who will barf on the table and do all this other –
He's got to have a drunk friend or two.
Get a drunk friend.
That's all.
All you do is get a drunk friend who you can't stand and you can't find a girl for him.
Boom.
Put them together.
Let them get wasted.
Do shots under the table while you make out with the hot Jewess on the futon.
Well, I thought he was just saying this guy actually wanted to go out with you and no one else did.
So I figured give it another shot, which I know is hard to hear, but that girl's a mess.
That's not the way you set up someone.
You don't set up someone like that.
You just say – you come up with an excuse like you don't have someone or whatever.
Yeah.
I mean it was just a dick move, and when she called him out on it, it was just – he refused to take any sort of accountability for it, and it was dick.
I thought it was like a massively dick move.
It was.
It was a massively dick move.
I guess I'm just trying to see his side because I think that sometimes when someone's an asshole, like more of an asshole than another person, we forget what an asshole the first person was.
Yeah, yeah, but I still think like even if MJ is an asshole, which I don't think she is,
I actually really like MJ, you still just, like,
I don't know, like, you just, like, the ex
is just such a, it's such a low, passive
aggressive move. It's mean, you know?
It's just, it's, I thought it was actually, like,
vile. I was actually, I had a really bad reaction
to it. Now, also... She has that
kind of, oh, you go ahead. No, no, no, no, no, go, go.
I was just gonna say, she's
that kind of personality that anyone related to her, and I just mean around her, is abusive.
Like she's always the abuse victim in every relationship on this show, even with Reza, who's her best friend.
And I guess they have their thing, but he calls her fat.
He tells her her mother hates her.
Well, it comes
to the fact that her mom is awful like so all these weeks i was like oh my god mj's mom is so
hilarious i love mj's mom oh it turns out actually mj's mom is awful newsflash yeah the mom the
mother was terrible i mean could you imagine that the mother like that you don't listen to me if you
if you listen to me everything in your life would be fine.
You wouldn't be so stupid if you listened to me.
Yeah.
You want to admit you're a liar?
No, you're a liar.
Okay.
No one should hire you.
A, okay, here's your options.
A, I don't tell you anything, and I keep you at arm's length.
Oh, so now you're an admitted liar?
Oh, you're bragging about lying?
Oh, how do you feel with this A?
What is this A?
Eat your lunch.
Eat your lunch.
Oh, God.
That was sad at the end of that argument.
She's like, go ahead and eat.
And you see MJ take a big, giant curly fry and shove it down her mouth.
It's like the mom's just feeding her crap in her trough.
She's putting crap in her trough to keep her fat and bound.
Poor MJ.
I mean, honestly, like, I'm sure the mother does love her.
But the mother, I mean, how unreasonable.
I mean, how, like, the mother being like, it is not my fault.
Anything that happened, it's you.
You've done it all.
I have done nothing.
Everything you've done is you.
If you listen to me, you would be perfect.
I was like, oh, poor MJ.
I could just see those psychologist bills going up one after the other.
Yeah, but there does come a certain time in your life where you can't blame your parents.
I mean, at this point, MJ is sitting around her mom all the time with nothing.
I mean, from what the show makes it look like.
She's either wasted somewhere with Reza or sitting there with her mom taking abuse.
Now, listen.
I love my mom.
But if she talked to me like that, I'd push her down the stairs and have her in a home within a day.
Well, you know what?
I think that with MJ, I think she was just basically trying to say like, you know, you've done some things to me, and I want us to have a close – I think she wanted a closer relationship with her mom.
You know, like where her mom is not, like, being mean to her.
They're able to have, like, closeness the way that Reza has now said that he and his father have.
But it doesn't – it does not look like it's going to happen anytime soon.
Did we all talk about Asa, by the way, who – oh, my God.
I can't even believe the big get that
asa got she was invited into the house of the persian barbara walters oh my god she is going
to take over the world doors are going to fly open all across the music industry now that Persian Barbara Walters has endorsed Tarantulas.
I can't even believe it.
Walking down the road.
Yeah, she
is so sweet,
Asa, don't you think?
I actually do like her. I think she is sweet and she seems realistic.
And it's nice how she's excited,
but she's very delusional, I think.
Call me a hater.
I am being a hater.
But, I mean, I don't – it's not – no disrespect to Persian Barbara Walters.
I'm sure she does have a lot of sway in the Persian community. But I'm just thinking that, like, you know who has a bigger worldwide pull?
Probably Asa's producer friend who makes music for the radio.
Ryan Seacrest.
Exactly.
Actually, Ryan – yeah, exactly.
Oh, I was going to say – because, Ryan, I thought you meant the guy who's producing the show. This is a Ryan Seacrest show,. Actually, Ryan – yeah, exactly. Oh, I was going to say – because Ryan – I thought you meant the guy who's producing the show.
This is a Ryan Seacrest show, no?
Yeah, it is.
Actually, let's see Ryan Seacrest play that song on Kiss FM.
Tarantulas.
He'll play it like it's kind of a joke.
He probably played it today as kind of a joke.
Yeah, and she's like, oh, my God, they're playing my song on the radio.
See?
He told me I couldn't do the radio
and now here I am. She's like, I'm rich, bitch.
Poor Asa.
Poor sad Asa. She's so sweet
and I think her delusion
is really funny.
Like how she throws herself this big
party at the home of
Barbara Walters
Percy. Barbara Walters Percy
Barbara Walters Shiraz
Yeah, she throws a giant party
for herself at this woman's house and invites
all her friends and then she's like
you see, all this hard work
is worth it
You're recognizing
yourself and that made it all
worth it. The funny thing
is that, I persian barbara
walters she kind of tells asa listen um in a nice way she basically says listen stop being ridiculous
like you say you're an artist but you want to get played on the radio so uh make your music
accessible she's like just give it to a producer and let him do something with it and shut up that's
basically what she said when they were sitting on a log on the beach.
If Asa were smart, she would listen.
That song, Tarantulas,
the beat is sort of cool,
but it is for a very niche market.
Even if you sell to that niche market,
I would think that you could make money.
They buy music.
I lived in East Hollywood. I heard that shit blaring out of car windows all day long no i mean i'm sure they buy it yeah and
then she said like she would like to play in dubai and have versions come and and be in concert and
so obviously there's a market and obviously she could be really successful and i kind of get the
sense that maybe she is like a little bit successful in that market but um i don't know
like when she's she's making it sound
like she is going to be the next lady gaga you know and it's it's just yeah lady gaga actually
cares very much about her songs being on the radio and she does them in a cookie cutter way
so that they are on the radio and the irony is that lady gaga's music her latest album her songs
have not been like doing that with that well So maybe she should take a lesson from Asa.
They haven't been doing that well?
No.
I mean, if you listen to Katy Perry and Rihanna, they're all over the radio all the time.
And the music from Lady Gaga's album, they come and they go.
They're not sticking.
Her old stuff, they still play a lot.
Yeah.
But, I mean, who am I?
The Persian Barbara Walters?
What do I know?
The Persian Ryan Seacrest.
What else happened on that show?
Mike basically explained that he is traumatized because he was poor for a little while.
And he can't date Gigi, I guess because she's insane and he's jewish or something gg went on a
date and she was like i'm opening up the baby factory um that's my that's my impersonation
she sounds like she has a bubble in her throat i'm gg what is wrong with you i'm gg
she sort of sounds like that you sound like you're on star wars. Well, she's Gigi. She's in space.
I'm Gigi.
Why are there so many songs about the rainbow?
Anyway, you know, the show.
You're very handsome.
I'm excited to start becoming a baby factory. Yeah.
Gigi, by the way, she told Fox News or in New York that Shaz the Sunset has been re-upped for a second season.
But Bravo has not confirmed that. But I think they will.
People talk about it.
People out here in L.A. have been talking about it like crazy.
I don't know about the rest of the country.
But out here, for sure, there's a lot of spittlebutt.
How – well, even I'm enjoying it, and I didn't enjoy it the first –
Oh, I love it.
I love the first five weeks or whatever.
I watched it before I watched the reunion, by the way.
That's how much I like it, of Atlanta.
Oh, wait.
They have a reunion?
No, no, no.
There's no Shazza Sunset reunion on deck, but there should be, by the way.
I would love to see that, but no, no. There's no Shazza Sunset reunion on deck, but there should be, by the way. I would love to see that, but
oh well. But I think
we've sort of reached the end of our
slate of things to talk about.
Well, here's to
another week of this crap. Oh,
by the next time we speak, Jersey
will be back. Oh my god.
Jersey will be back. Oh, I
can't wait. So we're going to have quite a week.
It's going to be Jersey, OC, and Atlanta.
I had a dream last night that I was sitting on the Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion,
which is a really fucked up dream I have.
Caroline and I were like buddy-buddy.
She's like, you're my friend, but only for today.
I was like, okay.
I don't know what it all meant.
It probably means I'm sexually attracted to lampposts or something, but I don't know.
Yeah, get that checked out.
Yeah, I need to get that checked out.
If I'm having dreams where Caroline says we're friends, that's rough.
You are.
Are you worried about being betrayed by caroline like getting your feelings hurt you
know if uh if kathy said we were friends that would be like the best dream i've ever had in
my life because i love kathy and also she bakes oh yeah she makes cannolis inside cannolis yeah
um so also one thing that we have to we probably should mention this at the top of the podcast
we're doing a live podcast improv olympic apr 30th, and we really want people to come.
It's at 730.
It's $5.
And we're just going to record the podcast, but it'll be in front of people, so you'll hear laughing and stuff like that.
So we're going to try to get a special guest or at least someone else, a fourth person, maybe five people.
We'll see what happens.
I'm super excited about it.
So if you live in Los Angeles, come on down on Monday, April 30th, and
you can meet us.
You could get our autographs if you want, but I don't see
us having a big line on that front.
Maybe Matt Whitfield will have one, but I don't know
about me.
It's going to be a really fun night, you guys.
So come on down there if you can.
We'll probably have some little games.
Also, we can all drink without Matt getting mad at me for being drunk.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can see what we look like in person.
You can see the way we interact and the way we look at each other.
Yeah.
I'm going to put on some man spanks and I'm there.
I'm going to wear a muumuu just because.
I'm going to wear a nice long housewives wig.
Maybe I'll get the pharaoh wig. Oh, yeah. You should. I'm going to wear some Shibaiwives wig. Maybe I'll get the Pharaoh wig.
Oh yeah,
you should.
I'm going to wear some she buy Sharia here.
It's coming back.
It's coming back.
It's coming back.
It's coming back.
Even though it never was,
but it's coming back.
It's like it's Neverland.
Never close.
Oh,
okay.
Everybody.
All right.
We'll see you next time.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks everyone. Bye. see you next time. Thanks for listening. Thanks, everyone.
Bye.