Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Alaskan Shush People

Episode Date: October 10, 2018

The bosun didn't even take two full episodes to let his crazy show and the Alaskan captain is having none of it. Below Deck is already pumping, people. This week's bonus is a deep dive into schlocky network TV shows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

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I'm from the Rose Creek Spatula podcast is will and here I am with Ben Mandal, Curum, I did a Internet hubby and podcast partner in life. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hello. Hello. Everybody, welcome to below deck day. We are in New York City getting ready to do our show tomorrow night. We're going to recover Real Housewives of Dallas. And then Friday night, we're going to cover Real Housewives

of New York, a classic episode from Morocco, said 410. And then in November, we're going to be in Seattle, December in Nashville. And we will announce some 2019 dates coming up soon. Thank you to everybody who buys us tickets and comes out, comes out, come out. We are so excited to meet you and see those of you that we've already met. This week's bonus episode is really fun. We talk about Estara's born. So if you want to hear that, patreon.com slash watch what happens. You can also find a whole bunch of new ringers there. There's like a ton of them there so go

sign up for that and i think that's it man i know i i i'm so excited for our show tomorrow i'm like truly truly excited new york audiences are like our home away from home you know it all it all began in new york all are are touring so i'm really excited. Yes. Both there. We both love our New York city. I get to see some of my best friends when I go there. I just love, love, love New York.

And so I'm anything to be a backer. You know what else I love? Below deck. I love below deck. And we're only two episodes into this new season, but I feel like it's going to be an amazing season because I'm so into it so far. I love this cast. This is a good cast.

Yeah, a below deck is so good and they already got so far into it. My goodness, like they're already going crazy. Yeah, I can't believe we're only on this second episode. Also, I really think that below deck deserves attention for its beautiful cinematography. Because this episode opens up with an aerial shot looking down on the yacht, my Sienna, as this douchebag Steve starts circling around on the jet ski. And it is like a beautiful, beautiful shot. Like, there, this show needs to be recognized by the Emmys just for the, the visuals.

We're not seeing this on a lot of TV is absolutely beautiful. Yeah, they're like Steve could buy. Get Steve in here. Wait, let's get that shot first. All right, you got the drone. Yeah, I thought I'm going around a few more laps. That way we can get that drone up in the sky. All right, looks good. Looks good. Now Get back in here. Yeah, so we open with Steve running around on the jet ski and refusing to come back in. And Ross is like, Steve's refusing to take the loft jacket into captain's like, how the fuck does that happen? God damn it!

I was like, oh wow, that's a great way to open this. Yeah, the second episode in a row that pretty much opened up with. Good, damn it. Yeah, and then his girlfriend row that pretty much opened up with Yeah, and then his girlfriend. Yes, his girlfriend Steve. I don't even know what her name is But we see her on the deck looking out at Steve being like Like a man I'm like, what are you saying lady? She's like whacking

She reminds me of your imitation of Wonder Woman. Why you do that? Why do that? She's like Steve. Why you do that in the water? Why Steve? What you do that? Why you do that Steve? Why you doing so much Steve? You drink so much like no, I don't Life is short. I have to have fun. I'm like life is also too long for you to be making these idiotic decisions. So Ross is lecturing Chandler, which is always so weird to say. Yeah. He's like, you've got to be soon with these guys. You can't just let him run around and do whatever they want. Chandler's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, now I didn't notice last week that Chandler has total crazy person eyes. And I think I don't know if he just had them closed more

last week than he did this week, because that's something I pick up on every show. I'm always looking to see who has crazy eyes because I mean it works every time crazy eyes equals crazy people. Yeah. And I didn't notice them last week, but man, they sure came through this week. Yeah, it's hard to notice them because he sort of has like generic bland hotness. You know, when you look at me like, he's a good looking guy and then you're like,

like, is he hot? It seems like he's hot, but there's some, I was like, I'm like, I felt like I spent a lot of time debating whether or not he's hot or just good looking that I missed the crazy eyes entirely. And then I realized he's like workplace hot. Like if he was in a workplace, you're like, oh, he's hot. But like TV, good looking, you know?

He's like print model hot. Like he's like docker's hot, not Abercrombie hot. Yeah, but then when you start to realize that he's the sort of person at your office who makes you fill out a form to like go to the vending machine. You're like, mm-hmm. Yes, that's when his facial expressions come in. He becomes that person. It's like the hot person then they start talking and it's just the way that their personality shines through that you're like, oh, you have to put a bathroom key on a fucking broomstick

because I'm at much of a criminal that I'm going to like steal the key to poop, really. And now like your version of being fun is cornering me while I'm trying to have coffee in the lounge area and talk to me about an episode of Family Guy you once watched. Oh my god, he's so that guy blesses heart. Yes, because like he doesn't seem like he's evil. He just really seems like, oh my god, I've got to prove myself to daddy. Yeah, he doesn't, he just, I agree, he doesn't seem evil. He just seems like a bureaucratic cog. Like he's just that type, you know?

Yeah, and he's trying to be cool boss at first. He's like, hey, he coming to the company picnic. Oh, it's going to be so fun. Yeah. And then it's miserable every time. It's like he slowly gets more and more miserable at the picnic, you know? Yeah, he's like, he's like wearing his three doors down T shirt,

because he went to a concert in 2001 at like Jones Beach. Yeah, so that guy. Yeah. So then the captain's like, so I got to chase Steve. No, I'm not going to do it. You know what? Take that scheme. Put the skill away.

Never show the ski again. Yeah, you come off one of those ski 70 miles per hour. It's really hard to have a good time when you're dead. Oh, yeah, that was real. Kill you. And so Steve's like, there's no fun to ride by yourself. It sucks. Yeah.

You know what? You know what? You know what your friends are saying? It's no fun being on a yacht with Steve it sucks Yeah, well, you don't care. He's a richest one. He has 17 bathrooms. Yeah, they can do whatever he wants So meanwhile up in the galley Caroline's like hey, hey, um, so I made some coffee you want to try it out? I don't know if it's too strong or something. I don't know give it a try and kids like Yes, it's strong give it to them. Yes, it's strong, give it to them.

Yeah, it's too strong, tell them it's Tahitian. So Chandler is, Chandler's like, oh, it's a mistake on the debt crew, definitely. But, you know, like having the captain come down kind of undermines my position. Yeah, because you're doing, you're not playing your position properly, sir. Yeah, yeah, relax. And then I wrote wide-eyed idiot.

And this is where I was like, oh, it's eyes. Yeah, yeah. So so now Steve is back on the boat. Now he wants breakfast after all his galavanting along. So Adrian's cooking some eggs, Benedict's and he and Steve goes into the kitchen. He was like, and he and Steve goes into the kitchen and he's like, so is breakfast coming, we're a little hungry. And so this is when Kate, you know, she's like her like prickly defense comes up. She's like, hmm, he's in my space right now and you are making demands.

So let me give you some catasms to keep you satisfied. So she's like, you were on the jet ski so I didn't want to start cooking then. He's like, wow, by its 10 in the morning She's like actually it's 9 30 a.m. As any simpleton would know because anyone could read a clock except for apparently you So anyway, I hope you have a great morning. He's like I just want to have some eggs Benedict She's like well, he's making him as you can see right there. There's some Clearly identifiable eggs Benedict's right there on the grill so There was a clearly identifiable

Expanded X right there on the grill so So then they're he wants to picnic on the beach and they're not used to these beaches Yes, so they don't know how they work which apparently all beaches are different But you know you learn things on this show. I have no idea I know that the beach and fire island is very rocky and hurts my feet fuck that place. Yeah, I guess I knew that They're all planning on this beach picnic and Chandler's like, he was pissed. So I'm going to make sure this beach setup goes perfectly. Which means it's not going to go perfectly at all. Yeah, it'll be a disaster. I don't think we've ever seen a perfect beach setup on the show ever on any iteration of Blood Deck. I also want to point out that Steve is wearing a hat

that says Mexico mansion, Acapoco Tahiti Yadding Adventure. And then he's wearing a hat that says Mexico Manchin, Acapoco, Tahiti Yadding Adventure. And then he's wearing a robe that says my Sienna, but also says Foam Man. So I think that he owns this Mexico Manchin thing in Acapoco and he's like promoting it. And I guess the Tahiti Yadding Adventure is like, I don't know, I guess he's saying like, oh, as, I don't know, he's like, I'm going to Tahiti on a Yadding Adventure and I also own Mexico Manchin. I guess that's what he's like I'm going to to he on a yawning adventure and I also

on Mexico mansion I guess that's what he's doing to this hat and then it's weird to me. Obviously the rope he made the rope because it says foam man which is like his nickname he's really trying to make happen but is definitely not going to have like fetch will happen before foam man you know. He's another Kenny. He's basically a other Kenny you know. He's another Kenny. He's basically a other Kenny, you know. Yeah, hashtag no onions. Yeah. Um, so, champ, they're basically putting the,

putting the beach picnic together. And Kate's like, um, I'm gonna send you to set up a Josiah, so red list, because then when we have a list, you can check it off and be sure, okay? I'm just like, uh, he's like, he just had that look on his face. He's like, I'm going to write a list that just says Caroline and then every day I'll just cross her off. Look, there's 30 days till Christmas.

It's a Caroline Advent calendar. Every day I just open up her mouth and shove a trock live inside of it and tell it be quiet calendar. It's the first ever advent calendar where you actually poke in the doors and hurt what's on the inside. Yeah, you actually poke in the doors and shove it full of chocolate so it'll shut up. You actually wear the little carolines against the back of the calendar with the doors that are going inside and said out. It's a miracle. The calendar's crying.

I actually find chocolate kisses and jam them into the doors. Pienho again. So the chef is in the kitchen while Carolin's getting stuff together in the pantry and he's like, I'm not sure about these guys. And she's like, oh, they're crazy, but my feet are on my feet around the ground. I'm totally okay. I'm definitely fine. Everything's great. Everything's great.

Anything goes. And he's like, whoa, I feel like you can snap, man. Like not in a bad way. Is there a good way to say that? She's like, oh, excuse me. What do you mean by that? And she goes He's like, I just feel like you know one second like you could from one second and another you could be like Fuck you. I hate you. You know, and then Caroline just goes when did I do that?

Like right now You're doing it. You're turning to Rinda. You're turning Yeah, she's like when did I do that she holds like a cleaver up? It's just throat Yeah, when did I turn when I knew this chef was too good to last. He's like dead on the floor Yeah, he's like well you did it to a Josiah. She's like, oh, it's just that I'm hypersensitive to being told what to do Okay, it comes from He goes Childhood issues. Yes

Because childhood issues. Yes, yes, my dad is an artist. Oh, I didn't make for a good dad You're okay Well, because she's crying now in Joseo Joe's Iowox is like are you okay weak woman? Good because I feel like crushing you later. Stop crying of a random thing so you can cry over things that I control. Okay, okay. And the chef tells us she's a sensitive person. This job can be really rough for mentally unstable snacks like her. I'm like, okay buddy. So the deck cans are next and Chandler's like, I've done hundreds of beach setups, but to Hee-hee's different.

There's so many rocks. I just don't have time to show Riley the ropes because Riley is the questioner. She's walking around going, what am I doing? What am I doing? I'm doing it like that. I'm doing it like that. Here's how it is in Alaska, brah! Yeah, well, she is, she's asking questions because she needs to learn and Chandler is doing nothing.

Like, I don't have time. Like, there's a rocky beach. I don't have time for questions. There's a rocky beach, you know? And so her thing is like, listen, I was a captain in Alaska, all right? I was a captain in Alaska. So like, I understand things.

Like, I understand that rush that comes from finding a monster, how about it, okay? Like, let's like, captain in Alaska, so I understand things. I understand that rush that comes from finding a monster. How about it? Okay, like Captain in Alaska. Yeah. Like if I saw Steve going around on a little jet ski, wasn't supposed to, I had Harpinga's ass feed him to the crew. Okay, that's how we're doing Alaska. Yeah.

So she's left on the deck while all the bros and Josiah go off to the beach to check out to see if it's a safe beach you do the beach picnic on. And so Ashen, they get close to the beach and Ashen jumps off and he swims the shore and Katyn is just watching from the whatever it's called. And he's watching, he's like, who the hell is over there swimming? Kat! Damn it! He's swimming. Look, the hell is over there swimming? God damn it.

He's swimming. Look, that guy's over there doing the god damn it, stroke. I think Kate joins him to judge him to you. She's like, I see what's going on over there. I don't see any tables. Yeah, she's just up there to judge. It's hilarious. And then he looks again and she just, we just sort of see her walking around.

I'm like, oh oh I like that like Kate is just casually passing judgment about everything in this room right now Well, there's a chair over there. I wouldn't have put it there myself, but I guess that's where Captain Lee wants it Welcome to the judgment deck So then Steve it sounds like you know, I love Captain Lee, but he's all about safety. You know what? I'm 61 years old and I'm a crazy motherfucker. And it's like, Steve is there.

He's saying the stuff. He's wearing a blazer with no shirt and a bow tie and a hat that has flowers in it. I'm like, I don't think you're a crazy motherfucker. I think the better word is sad. Just sad. Right now, sad. Okay. You're sad Right now sad. Okay. Your sad, sad soul shirt.

And then he's like, BEEED! Which is just disturbing on a lot of levels. So then Ross is like, boys, look, I've swam the waters, I've tested the beach, and it's too unsafe to load this shit. We need to make a coal. And Chandler's like, oh my god, we need to make a call. That's right. We need to make a call.

Sort of like, yeah, we're calling it. We're not having this picnic. It's unsafe. And the captain's like, yeah, I could have told you that five minutes ago. Let's just put a blanket of a Carolina eat off of her. PICKNICK, are you talking about the sort of thing that Kittenhosh will be doing when we discuss Carolina? Oh, you mean an actual picnic? Oh, so he tells Steve that there's going to be no beach picnic and he's like, no, no, no, not happening, not happening. And he's like, okay, well, would you like to talk to Captain Lee about it?

Because clearly you were not scared off by my angry glares at you. And that's unfortunate because they are very effective to most people. Hi, pronouns, my guess is a fun time at a beach. And I won't accept no. Don't make me look stupid, Kate. Too late.

Too late. Sorry, yeah. So he goes up there, it's Captain Lee's like, Stupid Kate too late too late Yeah, so so he goes up there It's captain leaves like I spend a lot of money on this charter for this boat Which is like the most obnoxious thing like I spent a lot of money you got this boat on a massive massive discount Okay, you didn't I mean you spent money, but like don't act like you just rented like the Queen Mary Queen Mary Yeah, and the captain's like, yeah But you can't just how arbitrarily say he's like I can do whatever I want let Steve I can't manufacture a beach Yeah, so Steve's like fine, but I'm gonna dive off the side of this boat

It's like all right. Well knock yourself out, you know And so then captain Lee radios down to the Kate. He's like, I rank Kate. Kate, Kate, let's that proceed with lunch on the boat and Kate just goes, copy, I am like, of course, we're doing that. I'm already, you don't even have to tell me, I'm Kate. I've already actually put the lunch out. So thank you. And Steve's like, listen, you either do the picnic or I'm jumping. He's like just jump then okay Fuck to I care

You think I've never seen someone jump off a boat before So Caroline goes it to Steve and she's like oh, hi Steve It's me Caroline. You probably forgot about me already like everybody else on the sky damn Well, I know you're not happy. Well, I mean, I don't know if you're happy, but I on the sky damn well I know you're not happy well I mean I don't know if you're happy but I hope you're I mean I know you're probably not he's like I'm always happy and Steve she's like I never said she gets the psychological profile but are you happy Steve are you happy because I have to tell you I'm not. I've never seen an ironing board talk so much. Are you and are was your father and arms the system? Was he an artist? So then they so so now they the the

whole lunch gets put out this Polynesian barbecue whatever it is. So Josiah serving the woman he's like all right hit right now, this is right here. It's a shrimp salad with mint carrot. That's what I call the Caroline. Ha ha ha ha ha. He's like, we've started with blank plates. It represents Caroline's brain. Ha ha ha ha.

Mm. You may notice that we're not on the beach, that there is nothing out there. We call that the Caroline experience. Alright everybody, we've dropped the anchor otherwise known as Caroline's personality. So clan music starts playing and Steve jumps off the boat and his wife's like what is Steve following about? Why do you do that? What did he just do? Just like the garden is so strong he's like yeah so then he yeah he jumps off the boat being wacky because that's what you do when you're wacky who let the dogs out am I

right? So someone's calling you Caroline. the dogs out, am I right? Someone's calling you, Caroline. He's just like sitting there. Suddenly Kate has a parasol and she's just sitting there at the edge of the boat going, bye, have a nice trip, live your best life. So the wife is like, we're not waiting for Steve right? Like, no, I think that looks like a dead body Josiah just said she was talking about you Caroline So Ashton Hoses him off and he's like yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel good

Ashton's like a Jesus what did I do to deserve this? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and scum. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions.

What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows., it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering app. So then in the galley, just so I was like, oh, I know, we have a blender. I think I saw a Nutri-Bullet downstairs and he goes to get it and Kate's like, he is my favorite second stew of all time Wow, he is so wonderful It it makes up for the fact that I don't even have a third stew this year. She's like, um, hello

Is the dish-wreck talking I think you're I think your oven is beeping I think your oven is beeping. I don't know. Nice. Oh, so. Nice. Unless I skipped something you wanted to skip. No, I was just going into Rylean Chandler.

Yeah, yeah. So it's nighttime. Oh, I think it's the same thing. Because Chandler's like sitting there at the table and he's like, I'm going to go to sleep soon so I can wake up early and set up the boat perfectly because that's an interesting part of my personality. Yeah, he's like, yeah, Ross can have the late night, but in the morning, I need to do the morning thing.

And Riley's like, well, I was gonna do rounds unless there's something specific you want. You know, sometimes in Alaska, they'll have me do specific things and sometimes I just walk around the boat, you know, like telling the the guy to stop barfing on the deck. I mean, I can show me if it's not done. He's like Questions is so difficult She's like listen, I used to be a captain. I don't take any if-ands or halibut's see what I did there She's like I don't want any of your adituna. Alright there boss. Stop acting like a real crab.

See, that's actually not really a play on words. Just a general phrase, I guess people would say, anyway I'm going to go chammy. So then, well, what's this face, Chandler is getting ready to go to bed. We then it's like 8.30 pm and we see Josiah and Kate talking in the bunk, doing exactly what last week we anticipated they'd be doing. It's just talking to each other. I care.

Yeah, I was like, I was doing lunch and I walked in and Caroline was like, I think she was crying. What a week so she is. Well, when she knows she was crying, she was, things were coming from her eyes. I don't know what they were. She was shaking. Are you sure it was Caroline? Well, now that you say it, it could have been a lampshade. It's hard to know these days. So then Caroline's like, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Doesn't care. Oh, was this a clip where she's saying I'm fine, I'm fine. I just have Caroline going, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm good. Because she's like, are you okay Caroline? She's like, I'm good, I'm really good, really good. She probably was doing that at that time in the bathroom. She's looking herself in the mirror. I'm fine, Caroline, I'm fine. I'm fine So then Chandler the next day Chandler sees Caroline and he's like so how's your day? And she goes well

I've been made aware what it's not the next day. It's still happens like oh right now So he's like how's your day? She's like well? I've been made aware that I come off as someone who could snap I wasn't aware of that He's like you are holding a knife to my throats. Oh That's funny I'll just put that back down. I'll just go right over here and Just relax for a little bit. He's like and I'm gonna go to sleep at 8.45 Yeah, is that interesting? Fascinating. So Steve speaking of, Steve is that kind of guy to go to Spencer's guests and buy like trip presents.

And so he's bought a bunch of those shirts that look like you have a six pack or you have like really big boobs or whatever. Yeah. That's his big contribution to the next half hour of the show. So he makes the captain wear one and his doesn't have effects or anything. And he's like, how do you like me now, Steve? Yeah. Steve's like, well, I'm the one with the six pack. He's like, don't think I didn't notice that, buddy. Captain Lee's like actively upset about it. I didn't notice that buddy. Captain Lee's like actively upset about it. He's like well at least he could have done was give me some abs So then downstairs in the crew mess

Ross and Riley are talking and Ross is like you know what I have to say I Really appreciate your enthusiasm Riley and really I like that you're clean to land It's almost as if you're a captain of your own ship. I am I am That's what I like about you. She's like, you know what? In Alaska, I'm a captain. I'm not stupid. Okay, teach me how to do something. I'll do it. Okay. That's what I can do. Like, I just want to say, like, don't forget that I'm here. Like, use me and at which point Brian like steps out of his door, which is like right there in the crew mess. He's like, Hey guys, I'm a very like sleeper sleeper so I'm like, oh fuck you. Oh yeah. And I want to call him, I keep wanting to call him Brian because he really reads to me

like a Brian with a Y, but he's a Chandler. I even wrote down, did I just say Brian just now? Because I wrote down here on my notes, Brian says, I'm a very light sleeper you guys. His name's not, there's not even a single person on this cast name, Brian. But like multiple times on this, and my notes, I wrote down Brian. But there was a Brian, there was a Brian Bosen,

member a couple of years ago. So maybe that's who you're thinking of. Which one was the Brian Bosen? Wasn't he the one who wanted to put his thumb up that girl's butt in the hot tub? Oh yeah, you're right. You're right. I feel like Brian is more like not a name.

Maybe it's like a category. Like if you're just like a stuckie, if you're just like a lame boason, you're a Brian. Yeah, so Chandler Brian, is a guy's very light sleeper. Well, then don't sleep in the kitchen or sleep in the crew mass, okay? Get a different room. And I love that Ross doesn't even give a crap.

He's like, sorry, bro. And then Riley's like, oh, well, it's hard to keep whispering when I'm having a conversation, but I'll try. Oh, no. Riley is already going to turn out to be crazy. Yeah, but I'm crazy, but she's crazy, but I'm like on her side. Like so far, I like her. I'm surprised that I like her so much, because she is crazy, but he, but like, I wanna say Brian, Chandler is like a dick. So I'm like on her side. I'm not, you better not give me lip like that. I'll throw you over the boat.

I'm your boss. Well, she's, I mean, she's crazy. She's definitely a deranged, but he's a dick, you know? So now like dinner's being served upstairs and everyone's like wow Steve is like sober. It's weird He's actually being somewhat pleasant. That's nice Yeah, and he's like my low carb diet shot the fucking window I'm like when did that start? I like this Steve has like a diet like me, you know It's like I make it five minutes, and'm like, yes guys, I'm keto.

Okay. I'm like, I hate to break it to you Steve, but you know what, your alcohol is made of carbs. So then we start seeing a little thing in the chef, this immature sense of humor he has, because he's so like hippie and calm and above everything. But then he's telling us like, flavors are balanced.

Okay, sweetness, acidity, texture, heast and balls. Yeah, he has some balls. Yeah. And Kate's like, you know, he's like a puppy. A little puppy that you know is going to be great and smart. But in the meantime, he's pumping people's legs. Please don't do that. Yeah. It's really annoying. So then Steven Captain Lee, hug after dinner, and Captain's like, it's good to have John board Steve here. Crazy little bore face is just so fun to see here. So Steve's like, all right, let's go jacuzzi. I thought we're going to go jacuzzi and let's go

jacuzzi. And everyone's just like running away fromuzi again. Let's go Jikuzi and everyone's just running away from him on the boat, just scattering around, hiding in Larry and Barry's room and the engineering space. I love that his sobriety lasted five minutes. Yeah. He's already wasted again. So then Caroline comes up to Kate and she's like, what do you want me to do, Kate?

What do you want me to do? What's it I've be doing right now? Kikas, oh, just knock off. You did so good today. And she's like, ah, thanks, Kate. Thanks, Kate. Who should I knock off? No, no, just go, you're done.

That's what that means. Oh, OK, you can put away that knife now. All right. So then Steve, like, throws a whole bunch of foam stuff into the hot tub. So all these bubbles, the hot tub just starts bubbling over. It's like a big old foam mess.

And Josiah is there. And he's just looking at you guys. Where are all these bubbles coming from? Caroline, did you do this Caroline? Caroline? Just like a big fluffy, empty mess.. No one will come in with him. So he's like, you're good. I want K. I want K. I want K. They don't call me the foam man for nothing. I'm like, they don't call you anything at all, sir. Oh, So Steve ends up alone in the hot tub. He's like, no one came to my phone poorly.

And nobody wants to come to my phone party. Fuck him. Wow. I was so mad at production for then giving Steve a little interview where he goes, I love phone. I'm like, how dare you indulge this production? Now he's gonna be like, yeah, they loved my stick on that show. They even let me go in there. First ever guest to do an interview thing. So I love foam. It's my thing. It's like, oh, and the phone guy. So Carol, the next morning, the chef is just doing yoga, which I don't know why that bothers me. But I'm like, oh. Yeah.

I just read yoga. It's like, uh, uh, yeah. Um, so in Caroline wakes up and she's like, you know what I decided today. I'm just remember when Josiah said, shh, to me, I'm gonna let it go. I'm gonna let go. It's totally fine. It's, it's, it's, it's totally, totally fine. Yeah. We have too much of a good thing going to throw it away on us So you know I'm Caroline ready for a new day Brad new day So now there's some anchor stuff like they have to pull up an anchor and Chandler's like hey captain Uh, we need you to thrust to the port and captain is like thrust to the port

Asking is pretty impossible if you're down the three o'clock position, huh? He's like, oh, I'm sorry, I meant starboard. That's right, starboard. A starboard. And then Steve is standing next to the captain in the wheelhouse, and he's like, starboard's the port, even I know that shit. You'd like, all right, Steve, get out now, okay?

This is fun, leave. Clear the bridge, clear the bridge. So Ross is up there on the boat doing these hand gestures. They make it look like he's doing some weird 1987, like experimental German dance moves, you know, like weird robot. And when captain's like, God, I love his hand signals. He's way better.

And then an airplane lands on the boat. Everybody dies. All right. Well, they weren't the right handsick. Don't suck. At least it's dry. And so then breakfast is being served. And meanwhile, Riley is like bringing up all these fenders from down beneath wherever she's like in a manhole on the yacht or something. And she's like, so this, do we arrange these manholes with a ball front or a shaft or whatever, or like how do we arrange the manholes? They're like, whatever, too many questions. So many questions, like never ends the questions.

She's like, I'm just trying to ask, trying to find out like, where to put the fenders, you know? Yeah, yeah, he's not really helping her at all, but then they do make it look like she never shuts up with questions and they're just openly mocking her the guys They're like oh So then speaking of Caroline goes to Josiah Third Josiah and she's like hey Josiah Josiah

Hi, it's me Caroline Remember me okay, look I know it's water under the bridge, But I just want you to know I'm super grateful for you and I Don't even care that you told me to just remember what you did that that was so mean But it's not like me now because I got over it because it's water under a bridge. Oh my god I'm still standing on the bottom gonna get in the face of the bitch. I'm dead. Okay. Well, I just I think Just I was like I have a question If I roll you over some nails will you suck them up? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were the vacuum cleaner Hannah Hannah from all the way over on another continent like did you hear that honey? He said to drink nails, honey

Drink the nails, honey So now there's like time to dock dock and drama drama, docking drama, docking drama, and guess what? They docked. Yeah, everybody's fine. So then Steve is like, God, he's been funny. And then nobody came with phone praying. I didn't even get to ride on the thing and the wilder. The crocus, Steve, God damn it. Yeah. And Steve's like, well I don't wanna give you some Rady envelope full of Rady money, so here's a bag. Here's a bag with my company name on it. In case you didn't see Mexico mansion enough times over the past two days.

It's like, okay, thanks Steve, like skill mansion. Captain tells us, on Charter, you can have people who are douchebags just because they're shit people. But Steve doesn't have any malice behind his douchebagry I hope he never grows up Well, I don't think he will anytime soon. He's 61. So, um, so now it's time to clean the boat time to turn over the boat So everyone's cleaning and cleaning and cleaning and Adrian goes to the galley and Caroline there. She goes hi Today is such a good day.

He's like, oh my god. Like up against the corner holding up his knives. Ha ha ha ha ha. The captain tells them, all right, you're gonna, oh wait, is this the tip meeting? Yeah. Yeah, he's like, this was a very difficult first charter. Adrian handled it like a pro.

Kate, the interior team performed flawlessly Um, I know yeah Yeah, and I'm asking that diaper God dang it man. Here's the They only got 15 grand and whose I am Kate just look at each other like seriously Seriously, seriously, seriously Yeah, Joseph, Joseph, we put a grown man in a diaper and all we got was $15,000 Thanks Steve. Thanks Steve. You really carolined it up So the captain's like all right go out and have fun and I but don't forget don't embarrass yourself and don't embarrass about Caroline

That was my line Sorry, sorry Gaitfella, we'll get to you next time So now it's like more cleaning in Josiah's like isn't it odd that that one red balloon is popping all the other little balloons? Oh no that's Caroline Josiah Oh one red balloon is popping all the other little balloons. Oh no that's Caroline Josiah. Oh. Oh, so that makes much more sense. Oh, so Ashley and Riley are talking and I love, oh wait, I'm sorry I was I was gonna say Ross. I was like wait a minute that's not the scene I wrote down. So Ashley and Riley.

Ashley and Riley. Ashley and Riley. Andon, yes, and Riley are I only write down the first three letters so I have Ashton real. I'm like wait, what are you? Am I what am I talking about? So Ashley's like that's quite a tattoo and Riley's like yeah, I'm like fiance my ex fiance And I thought it would be good to tattoo our instant aims on each other my ex-viancé and I thought it would be good to tattoo our instant names on each other and that is like my only love, I regret it but you know like I was a captain in Alaska so I was like I always knew I love couldn't work because I'm more like a clarinidon girl and he's more of a hethay I'm more like halibut from the ocean

and he's more like Farmer salmon, if you know what I mean. Like really upset him, you know? Well, yeah. So Caroline's like, hey yeah, Josiah, you wanna go up to the bow? He's like, sure. Hey, Ross, I'm putting on, find my phone.

If you don't see me here after 20 minutes, please use that feature. I just know you're kidding. I know you're kidding. I'm not kidding. So they sit up there and she's like, oh gosh, you know, Josiah is the toughest nut on the crew. But I just have to sing in me. I just need to know people. Really understand them. I just love to crack good not just crack it wide open just right in there till it cracks in it everywhere. It's like a jellyfish hitting a

Mac truck. She's starting to have girl talk with Josiah which is hilarious. She's like I'm asked for the guy I have 10 or like three belts away from here and he's like hmm um, I'm asked for the guy I had 10 or like three belts away from here. And he's like, hmm, fascinating. Here are your three choices. You can hook up with Ashton the Dipper man, Ross the insecure one, or Wide-Art Idiot. Which one will you take? And she's like, um, are you gay? He's like, oh, I'm told to this as this will pass the time and I can tell Kate about this dreadful conversation We're having on this awful deck that I've never been to before She's like he's like yeah, he's like talks about being gay and growing up gay and like people thought he was What's a look gay? He's like what does it mean to look gay? I don't know what that means or whatever

She's like oh my god. This is great.? I don't know what that means or whatever. He's like, oh my God, this is great. I'm talking to a real life gay person right now. Oh, so, um, and she's like, don't you just want to jump off this boat and go swimming? And he goes, no. So this is like, because they're all getting ready to go out. And Ross, I love Ross's jealousy of Aston. It's like never gonna stop.

Yeah. Good, bro. You just stay home, bro. Look at those muscles. Wow. Enjoy spending time alone here in bed. Does that show even fit, bro? Why is it that every time these two are alone together, it's truly a gay porn about to start? Yeah. Also, Ross, no one's stopping you from doing push-ups, okay?

Ross already, it looks like Ross has a pretty good body, so I don't know why he's so, like, feels so defeated by Ashton. I think actually Ross is a better looking person than Ashton, believe it or not. Well, he is gel. All that matters is what Ross thinks of Ross. Right, guys. That's true. So Riley comes out and she's wearing like a sheer white dress where basically her nips are showing through and she has to be like pixelated for the rest of the episode. And Kate sees it and she's like, huh, and then she goes, where's your bra? Oh my gosh. Why aren't you naked right now? I don't know what kind of looks he's going for about.

I don't think it's legal. I almost wanted to see Kate go up to Riley and say, I just want to say thank you. Thank you, because now, Jose, and I have something to talk about later tonight. Thank you so much. The editors are probably so pissed because they have to use special effects now every time

they go out, because they can only bring like three outfits and they're so Yeah, that's true. I'm like just got some pasties, you know So Chandler tells them yeah guys when I step off the boat tonight I'm not your boss and Riley of course takes that totally literally. Yeah, I'm gonna abuse him Yeah, which is by the way like Yeah, I'm gonna abuse him. Yeah, which is by the way, like, red huge red flag, whenever a boss says, by the way, right now, guys, I'm not your boss. I'm just a friend. It's trying to be friends with the gay guy but you're going a little far I won't break tomorrow

It's only a tear drop away Just I was like kill me now. Slowly and uncomfortably. Annie, you've been canceled. Annie, get your gun and shoot yourself in the face with it. Oh, so yeah, the chef's getting, everyone's getting toasty at dinner and the chef's like, look at those blue drinks. Do they like smurf jails or something?

It's like, oh god. Yeah. Okay, it's like so, Ashton, tell me about your backstory. I feel like there's something I could mock you about. So he's like, well, first thing I went to university and I studied entrepreneurship. I took classes and lots of different things. And while I was doing college, I was, I danced on the side to earn some money further to keep me keen on my academics.

I guess like dancing. Ballroom. Oh, that was so funny to me. And he's like, male review. And she goes, Oh, she's like, that, just like I said, ballroom. He goes, male review, bear butt butt la. She's like that just like I said ballroom Mail review bear butt botla and she's like

Bear butt botler. He's like bear butt botla. She goes oh well. He went to Butler school as well She's like squeezing Josiah's knee under the table as they speak like I hope you're listening. Please stop staring at that Crazy flower floral arrangement at the other end of the table. Oh, I'm sorry Carolina. I thought that was you. It was you. Yeah. I think I got ignore her. Everyone, let's just make a vow together to ignore what the end of the table. Should go away.

So yeah, Ash and it's like, yeah, yeah, there was only musical. It was nothing to major. I mean, you see bum and then bombs gone. You see bum and then bombs gone. And then she just repeats it. She's like, you see bum, then bomb scan. You see bum, then bomb scan.

And Caroline. It's just showing. It's like Caroline. She's showing her ass. It's like, we've hypnotized Caroline. Idiot. Caroline. Oh, yeah. Caroline thinks of the male review is what men do when they go on yet. She's like, I want to review a man. No, Caroline. Idiot.. I give you two stars, Caroline. I'm just being friendly. So Caroline me was like, I love you guys. I truly do. It's been 24 hours, you stupid wench.

I like what the chef tells Riley. Have you ever, he's like like have you ever had pate? It's like a spread that you put on bread and she's like I've had spam Yeah And then then it's like getting hot and she's like I'm already sweating my lady balls off I guess I just have to cool myself off by blowing on my tits Asher's erection basically is like causing the table to rise up. It's like whoa Tables floating a little bit

so they all go dancing and clubbing and I see that do you see that when they got in the van to go to the club? Caroline and Riley were in the same band and Caroline's car they're like Riley says something like whoa bunch of redheads Caroline and Riley were in the same band, and Caroline's... They're like... Riley says something like, whoa, a bunch of redheads, and Caroline goes, fire in the hole, and Riley goes literally. What does that mean? That means red pubes. Red pubes. Oh. Josiah is scowling at you, Ronnie. I feel like I have just I a scow on my face right now that he's like, like, you're more like

boredom in the hall. And then so now they go dancing. And basically, Ashton is like, you bear but Butler, bear butt, buttler, bear butt, buttler. He's basically his whole, his, his game is to walk up to every woman and tell them that they're beautiful. But he doesn't realize that that's also the M.O. for every gay man on this planet.

So, this one was like, um, I'm sorry. Are you gay? He's like, I'm snake, bear butt, butt, la, say. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, gay? He's like, I'm smitten. But La, say. Me all review. He's like, it's my game plan. Did you say get gorgeous? I'm just going to go up to him and say, like, I love. I want to say, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

I want to share my heart with you. So I just go up and go share. Share. Like share. Which luck may to give you a straw sand? I'm totally gaga over you, gaga, gaga. I'm so into gaga. Come on babe, don't be like a virgin. Don't make me feel low, I don't wanna be low.

Man, I feel low, man, low, to be low, man, I feel low, man, low, my rot, my low. So he's basically farting and Chandler is immediately like, all right, time to go home, we've got to wake up and get the boat cleaned. Yeah, it's like, oh god, of course Chandler is like the party pooper. I mean, they all sort of look like they're ready to go, but Chandler is the one who sort of introduces that. He's like, okay, so they're like, so what? And he's like, so what time are you going to be starting your getting everyone on deck tomorrow?

Like nine. And he's like, nine. No. I'm sorry. He's not Australian. He's like, nine. He's like, no, how about eight? Eat it the latest.

We're going to wake up early with smiles on our face. And we're going to be like, oh, I'm so glad we left a fun club so we could wake up early with smiles on our face and we're going to be like, oh, I'm so glad we left a fun club so we could wake up early and wash things. Yeah. And ask for a similar. I'm going nowhere. I don't want to go home. I just leave me here, bro.

I'll leave me here. And then so this guy makes the decision that nobody can leave. And thus everybody's leaving at the same time, which,, you don't get to make up the rules anyway. And while everybody else sitting there letting him make up the rules. Because I think honestly it's that that's probably a production issue that either they all leave the club together or not. Like they, I think I think if you look at a lot of reality shows like Jersey Shore or whatever, they all had to leave together.

So it's probably like, oh, we can't go back until Ashton is done. And so Kate is sitting there with Josiah because Ashton is like dancing or trying to hit on someone and he's being just like drunk. And Kate says to Josiah, Ashton is a savage animal and Josiah goes, yeah. Okay, goes. And so as Riley Josiah is like, yeah, I know, also as a savage animal, I was like, yeah, I know who's also as a savage animal that crazy red pile of trash over there. Oh, I'm so sorry Caroline. I thought you were savage person at the club. The least savage is that balloon animal standing right there. That's a much better version. Thank you. It's Caroline. You know who's not savage? That strange stop sign he wandered in to the club. I don't even know stop signs like to dance. Have you ever seen a lollipop cry?

Isn't it weird seeing that cool-aid man doing the sumba? Hey, there's a savage tomato over there. So they're trying to get As to know and he's like, hey, he's been called Madonna or whatever. So he's like not wanting to. I can't stop moving. He literally says that. And Brian's doing this whole thing.

Everyone came as a team. Everyone's leaving as a team. I'm like, okay, you're at a club. Okay, this is not you did not go to a ropes course. You're not at a, okay, you're at a club. Okay, this is not, you did not go to a ropes course. You're not at a company retreat. You're at a club, okay. So at one 15 a.m., they finally all leave. And Chandler is like really upset.

By the way, did I just call Chandler Brian again? No, you just call him Chandler. Okay, wanted to make sure. So Chandler is like upset. They get in the van and he's all hoffy. He's all like, he's sitting next the van and he's all huffy. He's all like, oh, he's sitting next to Riley and she's like, well, so 8 a.m., huh?

And he goes, no. Now everyone has to be up at 6 a.m. because everyone has to be punished. And she's like, well, if you wake everyone up at 6 a.m. everyone's gonna be pissed off for you. He's like, ha, ha. She's like, I'm just saying, everyone's gonna be pissed off for you. And then he gets huh, she's like, I'm just saying everyone's gonna be pissed off for you. And then he gets mad at her for saying that.

And I'll say, I didn't think that she's being that lippy. I think she was saying it pretty, pretty normally. I didn't. I thought she was being totally lippy. But then he's overreacting and she's overreacting. And I'm guessing just because they're drunk. But he's like wanting his control moment and she's not giving it to him. She's like, but he said we weren't, we weren't weren't here as friends and not as you weren't my boss. So I'm talking to you like that.

And it's like, it's escalates and escalates and escalates and before he though it, she's like yelling at him. Yeah, exactly. And then he, but, but, but even then like, at this point, well, she winds up yelling at him more later in the episode. But in the van, she's just being like, um, but you said, like, at this point, well, she winds up yelling out to more later in the episode. But in the van, she's just being like, um, but you said, like, talk to like a friend, that's what I'm doing.

And then Chandler tells us in the interview, it doesn't mean you can treat someone like a complete savage. I'm like, she was not treating you like a savage, okay? Maybe her voice was a little bit raised, but you were taking this way out, like you were way, like, were way like over dramatizing this. She basically was just being like, um, why are you making us wake up at 6 a.m. That's crazy.

And you're going to turn everyone against you. Yeah. And I don't want to wake up at 6 a.m. Yeah. She just kept repeating it over and over. I think was her mistake. Yeah. And she cemented, you know, she cemented in his mind instead of being like waking up and being like, okay

Maybe that was too harsh or whatever she turns it into this thing where he's like no everyone's got to wake up at 6 a.m Yeah So they get back to the boat and he immediately goes up to the wider or the dry race board and writes Dex 6 a.m And she's like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, because she's like the whole team pays for it. And by the way, I do have to say though, because you know me, I like getting on a high horse

about this shit, but like him calling her being like a savage, like saying that she was being savage about, and not saying that she wasn't saying she was a savage, but the fact that he thought that her tone of voice was like at the level of being savage about it, is like the bullshit that women always have to deal with like like a moment like whether or not like let's just take it out of the like whether or not she was right to raise to protest or whatever let's take that out of that it's not the issue she was not like screaming in the car she wasn't like

you are a monster you are out of control on a power ship she was just like no she was she was pushing back but the fact that he interprets that as her being savage is like, that's bullshit and I feel bad because I feel like women have to deal with that all the time. There, my rant is over. This one was Kuku bird to me. Like I'm not on that page at all. Like she starts stomping around the boat.

She starts stomping around the boat. Like I am pissed, you better get me to the certain and better be chocolate because I am mad. And then she's sitting right outside of it and you have to remember that he's he's doing the interviews after all this has happened. So he's probably bringing the screaming and yelling. I don't think she was doing into it. Yeah, that's probably that's probably true. But the point was that like he made her sound like she was out of control.

I don't think she was out of control. And then like they get on to the boat and he's like the whole team pays for it. The whole team is worried about you. But it's 6 am. So then Ross goes in to talk. And then that's when she comes in. She's like, are you fucking kidding me? And Ross is like all take care of this, all take care of this. So at this point, I mean, she should not have said, are you fucking kidding me? But they are being so condescending to her like they've sort of been condescending all episode long So I kind of get it. Why she snapped a little bit. It's high from the fact that she is crazy And I like that she demand certain. I'm like exactly. That's what you should do. Demand a dessert

Well Ross is and also Chandler has no respect from any of his crew, which is funny because Ross is telling him No, you know, he should do is maybe cool a bit and then maybe later come back and you know whatever He's like no, no, we're not doing that It's like but if you know if we wake up at six in the morning you can have people pissed He's like we're waking up at six in the morning. He's like all right They have said my piece but he does what she was trying to do but much more calmly and it still doesn't work because now He's so pissed about it Yeah, and Ross is sort of funny because he's like so atypical for

Below deck normally we get the person who's like been a boasts and elsewhere and then is like not the boasts and then gets all pissed That that the boasts and not doing things that they want and Ross is like so even keeled about he's like Well, it's not the way I would have done it That's not how I did it when I was a basin on a larger ship. But you know what? That's okay. Yes to learn and I like that he's learning. It's like, what?

Huh? What was? So there's screaming upstairs. And my favorite thing was Kate and Josiah. I just like scampering up the staircase to find out what all the drama was. They're like, listen, listen, listen. She's eating cheetos. She's like silly eating Cheetos listening.

And then they go downstairs because she is ranting and raving now. She's so mad. And she's, of course, in the crew mess, which is right across from his door when he's already told people to shut up from there before. And so she's going off. And in the case, like, what happened?

How did this even happen? And she's like, like well he's telling me women and we're friends and then I'm not supposed to talk them that way and then he'll look and kick us yeah but he's right so yeah yeah yeah well because she's like he's like he said fucking stop talking to me and I said I said are you saying that as a boss or as a friend and Kiko's both? Yeah, that's what he said. He was right. Hey guys, can I sit down here? No, do you see, he's taken.

What about this one? No, taken. There's only three of you guys sitting here. Taken, taken, taken. We have mapping for you here. So Chandler steps out of his room, and the moment he steps out of his room, Ross just runs away. I don't know if you noticed that.

Ross got up, he ran away, he's like, have good night, both in Bulse. And he just like leaves. Bulse and Bulse. And Chandler's like, you just straight up lost your shit. And he's like, well, stop, start to speak while you're fucking interrupting

and they just have a fight and that's where it leads off. Yeah, I, I guess she's the one who gets fired, huh? I don't know. I don't know. They made it look, they made it look in the preview like it was going to be crazy Caroline. But now I think it's going to be her because this girl like, she's got a temper on her.

Damn. I'm temper. She does. this girl, like, she's got a temper on her. Damn. A temper. She does, it lets a bad combination, because she has a temper and he has bureaucratic urges. And those two things do not work well together. Yeah. So that brings us to the end of below dick. Pretty fun when, tomorrow night,

we are gonna be in New York City, come out, CS will also be there Friday. And then November, we're gonna be in Seattle, December in Nashville, December, in Nashville, and go get your bonuses over on patreon.com. You can find links to everything at watchwithcrapins.com everybody. Yeah, that's the truth.

Love you. And we will talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. survey.