Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: Foam Around the World

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

Below Deck is back for season 6 with a new crew and a very brown boat. Will the Foam Guy kill himself on the first charter? And will anyone ever be nice to Caroline? We hope not! This week's bonus is a deep dive into schlocky network TV shows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited HEY BETCH tees through September at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Denver, NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!

I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Shivoni, she don't take no baloney. Christy, wow, where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high low. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Susie going to the Tobin. Anna. God I love that banana. Anderson. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Back in the Slayer Taylor. Avadigila Weber. And our super premium Patreon

subscribers. Savannah it's my birthday month, cook-roft. He'll grant the grant master. Give him hope, Miss Noel. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys. Hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens. A podcast about all that crap we just love

to talk about on Yale, Braves. I'm Ronnie. Ronnie Carram. It's my name. You can find me also on the Roseprick Specialist Roast podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous co-host, Little Bestie, Mr. Ben Mandelker.

How are you doing? Hey, I'm great. Thanks. How are you? Good. Probably a little loop, because this is a nighttime podcast. And we you? Good. Probably a little loop because this is a nighttime podcast and we recorded earlier today So you know good luck with what you guys get suckers. Yeah Well, you know our below deck recaps are always a little loopy because the action is so quick and it cuts around so much that we often get lost in our notes

And we wind up getting you know just going crazy of these random details So below below deck is also just generally crazy. It's night times were added crazy. And I'm starving, even though I just had a bowl of special K. So I know I think on my end I will be a little unhinged. All right, well good. I had I had a victory garden sandwich and some teaming. I don't even, what's a victory garden? Is that that a win a competition? Like that with the average of countess? Yeah, it's a very fancy sandwich. It's vegetables.

Okay, it's a vegetable sandwich. I had vegetable sandwich. I'm extremely happy today. Okay. Well, that's exciting. You know, you may hear me tapping in the background here, because as we talk, I'm also posting our bonus episode from this week, because I forgot to do it a few hours ago.

And our bonus episode on Patreon is us ranting about generic network television which was actually so fun to talk about. And then we also praise seal award to know end. So if that is interesting to you go to patreon.com and do that. And of the people, people, we have tickets going on sale on Friday for the Golden Crappies, which is our annual award show. We did it last year for the first time

in front of a live audience, and it was amazing. And now we bumped ourselves up to a bigger room at the Hollywood improv. It's gonna be a Saturday night, the main room at the improv. It's kind of a big deal. Tickets for at the improv, it's kind of a big deal. Tickets for that go on sale on Friday at 9 a.m.

We are anticipating they'll sell out because there's about 150 tickets. So be sure to get yours by going watchrocrapins.com. And of course, next week on Thursday, there are still a few tickets left for our Dallas recap at that agraramorcy theater. It's going to be amazing. My parents will be there. So I mean,

for nothing else, just to see my parents, right? Just pay homage and say thank you. Thank you for giving the world. Exactly. You can kiss the ring, etc. No, but for real guys, it's going to be a great show. New York, the vibe at our New York shows is always just perfection. So I really encourage you to come. Don't worry about coming solo, you will make friends. It's gonna be amazing times. And then of course next month, we're in Seattle, which is where I came out the closet. So there, everyone, little band history up there. It's also where I invented Amazon and Xbox, just kidding. And then December is Nashville, which is gonna be super exciting because we're gonna write a country song up just decided so

Yeah, hell yeah, so everybody get over there We're gonna have some great times But now is the beginning of season six of Belodeck to heat Yes, but low deck is bad classic below. And I'm very excited because this season, they decided that they were gonna sort of do away with having total amateur hacks on board. We saw it last season on below deck med. We saw it the season,

and we saw it on the previous below deck season. And that was really fun, but I think I'm happy that the producers decided they wanna create, they wanna mine more drama from less from incompetence fun, but I think I'm happy that the producers decided they want to create, they want to mine more drama from less from like incompetence and more from personalities, which I think is really good. Yeah, go figure.

They got people like you are kind of trained at least so far, that's how it seems. Yeah, exactly. But they've pleased both Captain Lee and Kate for one episode, which I think is a record. That is really impressive. I'll tell you who they have in pleased. Me only on a very specific note. This yacht, I don't like the way it looks. Do you like the way it looks? It's like very brown. It's like very brown. And I know that when Kate walks in, she's like, I'm just getting elegance just like me. It's like, I respect that, but I just feel like watching it on TV. It's like, oh, it's so brown. Actually, she said strained opulence.

Oh, I'm sorry. She's like strained opulence. Like me. Yeah, I'm sorry. The understated, understated elegance is clearly a reference to just like the throw blanket I was towering under. I just love the self-description of stringed opulence. And I love Brown. Now, Brown is my favorite color. And whenever I get asked my favorite color,

and I say Brown, people look at me like I'm just, you know, a piece of poop. But I love Brown. It goes with everything. I love Fall. Hello, Fall. Hi. Welcome. Welcome back into my life, Fall. But yeah, this is a little, it looked nice, but then as they got into the into the, there's a lot of like cramped brown. C shell, shaped bed frame bed. Weird. We're over. We're over.

I felt like pseudo hitchcockian. And the thing is this, I'm not opposed to brown. In fact, the where I'm at right now, my, this room, the theme is a little bit brown and green, but I just felt like, I think that maybe it's like cramped brown is aggressive and it's hard. It's aggressive brown. It's an aggressive cramped brown. I think if there's more space to be found,

but it feels cramped, it feels narrow. And like I'm someone who actually loves wood paneling. Like, you know, people always turn their nose up on it. There's a whole side-filled episode where Kramer got wood paneling and the joke was that he got wood paneling. Like, you know, people always turn their nose up on it. There's a whole side-feld episode where Kramer got wood paneling and the joke was that he got wood paneling. Like, who would want that? I love wood paneling, secretly. But this was aggressive brown for me.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, owners of my Sienna. Also that name, my Sienna. Yeah, I don't like that name either. So, you know, you're a lose, never mind. This season sex hate the boat. And it can only go up from here. That's the goodness. So it opens with Tahiti flame throwers, water, more flames throwers. Now, I don't know if Tahiti is just on a custom to natural disasters, but coming from Los Angeles, watching people twirl

fly fire around, it just seems like a bad idea. Scary. Feels scary. Yeah, it's a far as fire season over here and we don't do that unless we're idiots, which a lot of us are. So yes. Yes. So they're flame throwers,

a more flame throwers, and then we get quick little bits of each of the people from the scene. Yeah. It starts with Kate, of course, who I have to say, you know, one of the things we used to say about Kate the most on this show was do something with your hair. Like there was always like some, there's some ratty Kate hair thing going on in the beginning. I'm proud to say Kate's hair just looks huge and gorgeous. I don't know what those clips are where you get them from, but I love your

big hair, your bigger hair. Tropical air, it does something special, it makes you sun kiss. You get a glisten and your hair just falls in place. You know, when I went to Hawaii, it was like, where did this come from? Like everything's like just perfect. It's nice. Yeah, Kate tells us in me,

she goes, every season on board, I'm hoping for the best, but you know, God always gets the last laugh. And does any, does you know, God always gets the last laugh. And does any does me that always always like I'm not a big fan of babysitting to me excuses are really silly as reasons to fuck up. I'll take fuck ups, all right. Yeah, now I'll take my $20 for watching your baby and I will be spit you and do. He's like literally babysitting. I don't know why I signed up for care. I'm in the first place.

Oh baby, Sipa, I won't like it. I'm like baby sitting. I said go to bed. You're gonna get a god damn plane ticket home. Wow, you are home. Shit. Now what do I do? Shit. What a what a predicament. Oh God. All right. You're going to get a plane ticket to to 80, baby. Oh, damn it. I just gave that baby a free trip. All right. How about this? We're going to give you an Nintendo Wii a plane ticket to another place that's not this living room. Gotcha. Hey, less Nintendo, less Nintendo, why and Nintendo, wait a second, I just got him to play more goddamn Nintendo. He's just confounded by the wonder why he hates babysitting. He's all he confounds him. Totally work on a boat.

So then we meet Chandler the boss in. Did you mean to host down that Sammy Sam? Could you be any more of an authority on this boat? I cannot tell if Chandler's a dick or not. And I have to credit props like how much he, for teaching everybody how to be a sociopath. Because I've never had a more difficult time judging a cast. Usually I can tell right away.

I mean, obviously the two girls are crazy. Yeah, the girls are crazy right off the bat. Yeah, the girls are both nut cases right off the bat. And then it looks like Ross is gonna be nuts. But I don't know if his name is Ross because that conflicts me because obviously that's my favorite store, you know, and his last name is even Dress for last,

which is like so lucky for me. But it's also Ross from Friends, which is like a giant EW, you know? Like also like, are we supposed to just gloss over the fact that there's a Chandler and a Ross on this boat? Like, please tell me someone gets fired and we get a Joey, please.

Yeah, we need a Joey. I don't even really like Friends that much, but this just feels like too important to overlook, you know? Yeah, it's a lot. So let's see Chandler is like my dad being a yacht captain. You don't have to and then you know he talks about how he comes from a long line of boatmen. Yeah congrats. And then we have Caroline. So no one who is ever home In other words, your mother raised you is what you say. You're an only child and your mother raised you. Yeah, exactly. We then meet Caroline, who I'm pretty sure is Kimmy Schmidt. She looks exactly like what's her face. She's like, how do you know how's it going? And we see, we're seeing like bits of them from like across the season and she goes up to the Josiahs It's like do you like boys or girls or both? Oh my god. Yeah, she definitely looks insane

She's one of those girls who's really nice and you know, anybody who's like Those people are always mad smell or female. They're always fucking crazy. okay? We live in a whole town of those people. Yeah, we certainly do. I just want the Kimmy Shemin theme song to come on every time she enters the room because that is such a damn catchy theme song. I don't even know the lyrics, it's like incredible. There's a miracle. That's just what I want to hear. So we've been saying things from bumper stickers. She's like, yeah, I like being weird. Yes, it's my own pants. Yeah, I like it weird.

I like to keep it weird. I'm like, OK, Austin. Yeah, exactly. So then we meet the chef, Adrian, who he likes to meditate and do yoga. And he's like another serial killer. Yeah. And his hair, he sort of has server hair, but when he does it nice for the interviews,

it just looks like a mallet. I'm convinced that he's five. I'm convinced that he's five years old, and he's just some kind of prodigy from Fox, you know, like the kids master chef or whatever. Yeah, he could be. He looks like he's wearing makeup to be a guy, you know, like an adult man.

I feel like he's a kid. He's like someone from Jolie's musical theater class pretending to be an adult male. I think I feel like he is what Steve Bouchemmy's parents were hoping Steve Bouchemmy would mature into and then never did. He looks like a very cute version. And this sounds like I'm being mean, but I'm not,

because I think he's really cute. But he's like a very cute troll doll. Like one of the little ones you got on your muscles. I was just gonna say that Ronnie, except like it's a troll doll, but you decided to groom it. Right. Like one of those other ones, the cute troll doll, like the pukachus or pukadides. Pukakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakakak or he also, he sort of also looks like those guys in Super Mario. They are like, they're like big squares. And it's in the 3D Mario's and they walk around and when they see you,

they flop forward and then they set up again. They're from the Nintendo 64. He's like that, but like a pleasant looking one. That can erase people. Okay. So then we've got my personal favorite of the season. Thank you for the Bidgey gay person, everybody. And I'm convinced that this guy is basically just Luke. Caroline Stambery is assistant from Ladies of London for those

of you who didn't watch that shame on you go catch up immediately even though it's canceled so you've got plenty of time. He talks like this is very slow talking and he's very up his own ass which I really love. I think he's going to be a great addition and when Kate meets a bici queen and he's very up his own ass, which I really love. I think he's going to be a great addition. And when Kate meets a bitchy queen and she's like, we're best friends immediately, the red scrunchies are on bits. They're going to take this poor Caroline girl to death. Yeah, this is bad news for Caroline because we basically have a British butler, a gay British butler on the boat. And he has a very dry sense of humor and he just sort of has casual to stand in his eyes at all time. And like he and Kate are a match made in heaven.

Like I'm so happy for their friendship already. And we know that they're going to have a huge fight at some point in the season just because that's how these friendships go. And then it'll be resolved. And no matter what Caroline will be on the outside. Yeah, Caroline will try and get her in while they're fighting, you know, but then and she'll be Caroline, I wanted to say thank you so much for being with me. And I know I haven't always treated you. Oh, we're friends again. Fuck off Caroline.

Don't talk. Yeah, Caroline will be. She'll be an ally when it's necessary, but basically she'll be just when it's necessary, but basically she'll be just shrapnel in whatever happens. And on top of that, Josiah is going to be very, he'll be very assertive in making sure that Caroline stays number three. He's already started to do it in this episode.

Yeah, I'm a perfectionist in everything I do. I'm having a bad hair day. In other words, a bad day. It's like, okay, you're in. I also want to point out that in a very friends twist, there is a guy across the street who is like fully naked sitting on his bed. A big old guy. I've talked about him before and I actually got in trouble because someone's like,

you're a fat shaming your neighbor. I'm just describing him. You know what? If you don't want to be fat shamed, close your window like the rest of us, I have a, I have a fucking film on my window that is glued onto the window So I can't accidentally get myself fat shamed, okay, you know what? He's actually in shorts. So you know what? It's not quite as friends like but it is friends ask and that I'm like looking across like oh there's that guy So let's see your friends. We now have Ross. He's a deck hand from New Zealand.

It's right. He's just here to get some cash before it goes back to his family. That's what he's doing. And he's also a former bowson on like 190 meter yacht. And this is like a downgrade for him, but he's gonna do it anyway. And I was like, uh-oh, we've seen this storyline before. Yeah, and he's troubling because he rhymes things. I don't like that. He's like, I found a passion, and it went up still until I get to the top, Pringles pulp. He also throws in a lot of like Kiwi slang that he'll

be saying things like, well, I've been doing this a lot because my cousin and I got my lawyer going on and my real and my potato flag on the tall tall Need to get that deciphered Get Riley who's the deck hand and she's now And she's like, I'm not the girl next door. I was like no kidding. You're not you're terrifying Okay, you're already scaring the hell out of me. She's got a lot of energy and a real housewives of Orange County cut tea. You know, like a cotton t-shirt that's off the shoulders with cut marks

down the, down the arms. Exactly. And she's a trucker's daughter. And then, and then we, and then they, and then they so a clip of her like, not talk to me like that do not stop it oh He's excited. I like a spit fire on the deck crew Literal spit hitting fire. Yeah, and then we meet Ashton who honestly Maybe it's cuz it's some PTSD shit, but he's from South Africa and he's like buff and he's blonde and so immediately I was getting some joao vibes from him, but like he turned out to be like not so joaoish, but I'm still, you know, I'm on guard. Well, I think, you know, I like guys like this.

I don't think he's really, you know, all that cute. I mean, he does work out a lot. I mean, he's nice and everything. My point is, I like guys like this because he's trained in the ultimate kind of service. He's a stripper. So that is like fine dining service right there. Yeah. And he's a deck head. So he's going to be nice. He'll at least know how to fake it because girl, we've been to some of these strip clothes where the girls come out. And you guys are

nasty, nasty beasts. Okay. Yeah. You can say what you want about game and women are beasts at strip clubs. I have never, it's like you guys are in the walking dead ripping apart the only child left in town. You guys are horrible, horrible monsters at strip clubs. And look, Ashton has learned how to smile through it. So I think I'm, I'm going to guess he'll be able to take a lot. David, that's great training. And then we see this whole big montage of pretty much everything falling over and breaking on this boat

It's like crash crash crash and then people falling over people getting swallowed up by the sea like I'm surprised a crack And did not just like emerge from the depths of the Tahitian sea and just eat the half of my sienna Yeah, there's fire the hot tub explodes and then the cap loops. Yeah, the captain's like take your shit and get off this boat I'm serious as a heart attack And then it goes like kinkos come to Tahiti they said in host is it will be sunny they said And Caroline's like it will be pleasant. We're done with it Caroline Caroline there is no third one We're done with it. Caroline.

Caroline. Caroline. There is no third one. Okay. Caroline. It's a one two. First, they came for the Caroline's and no one cared. Then they came for the Caroline's and no one cared.

Then they came for the Josiahs and the Cates and we said, take Caroline again and they did the end. Quiet Caroline. I was just trying to say that like, if that was nice. I Quiet Caroline I was just trying to say that like Enough Caroline enough enough Now now I'm sorry is do I hear a big lollipop talking? Oh, it's just you Caroline. I'm sorry John and I'll hate it's amazing here in Tahiti they have light switches that speak

John and I'll hate it's amazing here in Tahiti they have light switches that speak Kate it's amazing. I can't believe that you were able to blow up that balloon and have it talk back to us. Oh, it's just you Caroline. I'm sorry So the first real scene it's like Because after all that stuff let me all of a sudden go to No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Yeah, we got him. Oh, yeah. Um, and then, um, let's see. Okay, so after that, we start the first scene and I know that the season has made for us because it starts out with God damn it, those wait are big. God damn it. Captain is already upset. He's been in too much like restrictive brown and it's like all already affecting him.

He's like, God damn it, I feel like I'm on the inside of our redwood tree right now. God damn it, the waves are big too. God damn it, I stand against one of those wood paneling walls and I'm just too blinking eyes. It's random. Um, so now this is when Kate walks in and she's like, hmm, she's trained up to one's like me. And we start to meet people. So we meet people all over again, Josiah comes on. We also learn he's a retired competitive gymnast,

which makes him even more lethal. He went from being a gymnast to a butler, which is a fascinating trajectory, and it makes me think that someone's gonna get killed. With thighs, with very thick thighs. Exactly. So let's see here, Caroline is like thighs. Exactly. So, let's see here. Caroline is like, I'm a hard, oh, they're looking over the list, right? Yeah.

So Kate sees Josiah and knows that she wants him. She goes, is he for me? And then they get to her line. Oh, that's what it looks. And it says, hard worker, degree in psychology. And she's like, ever ever notice they're always crazy Yes, I did notice Exactly, and then they're looking over Adrian and it says my passion to hit my passion is to heal through creative art of cooking

Just like full on Kate face. She's like hmm I cannot register a monotone enough emotion to express my displeasure about this. Hmm. They just leave the camera on Kate with her lips like, yeah, she's in full black. Yeah, it's like, and then she goes to inspect the boat and she's like, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm,

brown. Wow, looks different on the internet. She's basically like an Eskimo, right? It's not what they say that Eskimos have like 27 different ways of saying snow. Kate has like 27 different ways of saying. Kate's a low-well. Huh. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. She's like, oh. Hmm. Hmm. Well, I know how you feel, Kate, that we're gonna get a hold of this. Hmm. All right, you're right. I will back away from that wave.

She's like Lassie now. Oh, there's a fire in the galley. Lassie, what are you trying to tell us? Lassie is just like completely over Timmy. Lasting pushes Timmy in the well. Last is looking over Timmy's resume. Has a little scarf on. Maybe even a little sweat. A little card again when it gets cool in the morning.

What? I'm going on a date today. I've got a scarf leash. And, uh, well, by the way, there is a town on fire. Okay, you can take care of that for me. Thank you. It's time for commercial. It's time for a... Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts

of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Rapin's commercial. So Adrian's checking out the galley.

Everybody else starts getting on the boat. Caroline sees Josiah first. And she's like, oh, hi, I'm Caroline. We're clearly gonna be best friends, right? I will not be on the outside of a friendship with you, buddy boy, right? You're from England, I'm from Ohio. What do you do?

And he's like, steward. And then she's like, first bump, fist bump shot up. That is sick. Can you guess? And she bids me. And you, but she basically, she, she, she, she reaches out her fist for a fist bump. And he's like staring at it like, what is this commoner trying to do with me right now? What is this fist? Are we, am I supposed to wrap my hand in it?

Like rock, paper, scissors? Oh, I'm supposed to meet it with another equally calibrated fist. Okay. Unfortunately experience doesn't rub off like that, a little Ohio woman. So then he's like trying to be interested and he's like, oh, so what do you do? And she's like, she's like, I'm a stew! He goes sick. Is that what you people know, hire say sick sick sick? Bra. So then the captain is talking to Chandler. And this is such a Chandler. This is actually kind of a Joey interview because he's like, yeah. So I'm looking here on your resume. You look like you got a couple of

boats. What was big chubby like? Huh? I love it when. What was big chubby like? I love it when you call me big chubby What's big chubby like huh? Pretty tough. I mean it's a boat, you know, I just want to I just want the captain to be happy because the next job I go to they're gonna ask to see my references I go to they're gonna ask to see my references Luckily as it turns out I'm applying to be a reference librarian so hey So then captain leaves like wow let me break some news to you to hee-dee is reef central

Now listen some captains are very picky. I'm what you'd call a basic bitch. OK there, Chandler. Do your job, and you won't get flown into a mountain with a free plane ticket that I put in your something, something check, right? Yeah. Now I don't like to micromanage. I don't like to babysit.

And if I have to babysit, then you're not the person I need. Because what I would need would be a small baby, because that makes more sense for me to babysit, then you're not the person I need. Because what I would need would be a small baby, because that makes more sense for me to babysit that. There are babies everywhere. God damn it, this baby sitting job is killing me. I'm not even on it. So then Ross and Ross and Ross comes on board and Ash comes on board, and they meet and they're talking.

And Ross is like, well, you know what I want to do? I want to do the chat to Brave, spend some time with the cozy bake at him and get some woofy on the bluff of ring. I'm like, what? Huh? Yeah, get some woofy on the cheddar. And Ash is like, okay, it has a stew meeting and she's like, at this point she is now adopted the scarf. She's like, well, I think I have to put a scarf on for this. She's now fully in her date scarf. Yeah, she's like, well, I'm supposing I am dating Josiah in a way. So, okay. Now, Caroline, you were a solo stewardess, which I know is a lot of work. So wow. Wow. For you. And can you tell me about the boat you were working on?

I says here it was an Apple bees. Is it SS Apple bees? Or was it just a franchise of Apple bees? No, hi, and Josiah, you know, it's like, good one, Kate. Good one. So tell me about the bartending and care. When it's like, oh, well, Bart, yeah well Bart yeah yep got it but it's rusty because I had to go home and take care of my family and I was like okay a you've already lost respect that's not what somebody wants to hear in training and be stopped talking with your shoulders please just come to

the jesus is like I trained at the butler academy have to get my British accent back I'm like also in Australia. I trained at the Butler Academy under Sir Butler, Mr Butler Self. And I've learned so many things, including how to make every single cocktail from the Savoy cocktail book. Turn it out to you, Ohio girl. I can serve you anything, Luke Worm. And then he makes a squeal, which is hilarious coming out of him because he's like I think I'm very English So then she goes I was a genius come here. Oh, I'm like how do you pronounce your name? And he's like Like Messiah with a J You do know how to spell don't you I

Can't tell with common common people like you Please tell me what was it like growing up with your older brother being Ronald McDonald? you. I can't tell with common, common people like you. She is telling me what was it like growing up with your older brother being Ronald McDonald? He's like, hello, cookie monster. So Kate, hello, there's a, there's a room that they can share up high. So she takes that with Josiah, right? And she's like, oh my God, we can totally look down on people together. And he's like, sounds good to me, Luke Wohl.

And she's like, yes, God, I love that guy. So it's actually a smaller room. They could have taken a larger room, but they took it so least that we could, they could literally look down on people. Yeah. And they will. I think they will, I think there will be a lot of shots with them just standing there with their shoulders.

I mean, their elbows on the railing just kind of looking over together. Yeah, look how ridiculous her red hair looks from up here. Like they're skipping rocks on a sea, except it's, you know, on Caroline's head. Oh, be careful Caroline. The spiders in Tahiti have very big turd. Oops, another one must have hit your head. It was certainly a spider turd, not a rock that I threw at it at your big, stupid head. So Adrien says she's too nice, I guess, about Caroline. I don't know why I wrote that. Well, Kate starts talking about Adrien and she's like, well, Adrien looks really young and malnourished and that's not what I want out of a chef. I don't want malnourished or young. And she goes, So Adrian, what do you think of the galley?

And he's like, it's nice. And she's like, you're so sweet. So then Ashlyn and Ross are watching Riley arrive, the sailors' daughter, the trucker's daughter or whatever. And she's like, Hi boys! She's like, hey. And they're already doing the typical bra thing. So like, look at that, there's a girl. Get back and watch yourself, bar.

And Roscoe's stewardess, oh, I presume. And she's like, nah, I'm Decan. He's like, ooh, I'm like, mm-hmm, gotcha. And so basically, she's from Alaska. And she starts talking about like, she works I'm like, mm-hmm, gotcha. And so basically, she's from Alaska, and she starts talking about like, she works on a fishing boat, and she's all, you know, it's not about the ambience, it's about catching that monster out of the,

yeah, man, I'm right in the hell, but, huh? Yeah, you get bloody, and you get gory, and I love it, shoot me up in some hell of it, yeah. A lot of people don't realize that the girls are bad ass now Could you get my luggage for me? Thank you so much Alaska girls have to be badass. There's like two girls in Alaska. Okay, and like 50,000 million men I know one of them was on top chef last season Yeah, that's one of my the biggest horcats and I have mailhor totally took that fishing boat action as soon as he can get it

He still smells like monster halibut Riley also has an upper thigh tattoo that is peeking out from under her shorts, and it looks like an infection. I'm sorry to say oh So deck meeting Chandler is telling everybody about himself. He's like I'm a Florida boy Chandler is telling everybody about himself. He's like I'm a Florida boy Six years. I'll be oh no Chandler's the the the the Boston or whatever. Yeah, I'm a Florida boy six years I've been doing this I've been doing it from a very young age family in the industry very relaxed But I expect the best at everyone. I don't like hierarchy. Everyone has the same job Bernie braw. I'm a Bernie bro

At which point we're like oh Ross immediately, Ross immediately, Ross who was a former bowson's like, well you know I actually think there's a time and a place behind your keys because high-arkies can give you a lot more order and you that's what you need. But at the same time he's getting used to it so I'm gonna give him some chance to get used to, uh, get his seat legs if you were. I'm like, oh, wow, Ross is like sort of nice. Yeah, he's like, I will play my dickhand slowly. Now, before I tell you to go back to Venezuela, you socialist fuck. Um, anything you'd like me to do, it's like, no, bro, this is shake. I'm like,

this is not going to end well. So then Kate meets him and she's like, wow, good handshake. Good handshake. One of the few good things I've noticed today on this ridiculous charter. And then then over in like the the bunks, Ashton takes off his shirt, waiting is like sort of sort of muscular. And so Ross is like, check you at bro, what could you, you got that body? What let check the air out? I'm like, I love this porn. This is this is one of my favorites. Yeah, it's like totally not into you bro Like putting a hat over his bowener and what do you mean kind of worked out that guy is a little muscle Like he's like one little pulsing muscle. He works out. He's mostly, but he's like he's like soft muscle

You know no, I don't know he looks hard as a damn rock. What are you talking about? I'm just saying I'm not shaming him I'm just saying you know you just bought him soft muscle that is shame you're a muscle shaming him. Well soft muscle is not a shame because it's still soft muscles are good I actually really enjoy soft muscle it's like that it's like yeah he's musely but he also drinks beer you know. So Kate's like, hmm, the pantry. For about this size is small. It's like dating Shaquille O'Neal and then realizing he's got a small penis. So thanks both.

Yeah, because the boat looks so huge and then all the crew stuff is basically in a closet. So there's more room for drunk idiots like Steve later on to run around. Yeah. And then Josiah and Kate are just already ignoring Caroline. He's like, shall I put things here? It's like, I'm, yeah, do that.

Go ahead, do that. Oh, I'm, what about me? It's like, I don't hear anything to you. OK, go ahead and put those plates there. Is there a ceiling fan that's out of alignment? I feel like there's one right here. Anyway, Josiah, let's talk. So glasses up there.

So we're down here. Let's put a bowl here. And then, oh, we have to, I'm making a note to fix that fan and We can use this hook to hang at my scarf when I'm feeling sick. Okay, it's like okay I'm leaving now you and just yourself. You're the only person here and It's just like oh hello little red-headed muffin Would you like me to explain what we were just saying and she's like? I heard you I was standing right here. Oh, I didn't notice. I thought that was a dust bunny.

It was you. It was you. You should have really announced yourself from now on. People wear a sheet on your head or something so we can know where you are. I could have sworn I was just a campy raggedy andal that was there for humorous effect, but it was actually you. If a dust-burning falls in the forest but no one gives a fuck, is anyone there to fuck it? Think about that. I'll be back. Sometimes I get confused between you and an immersion blender. You'll have to excuse me on that front. She's like, this is like high school.

I was standing right next to you, dick. He's like ding, ding, school's out. You can leave. Is this school, is this school you talk of? Is that like Butler School, which I went to and you did not? Is that what's the sort of school you were discussing here? So 24 hours before charter, work, work, work, work. It's time for a pre-meeting. This is my favorite thing of every season is the 10 seconds during which we get to meet the real

workers, first officer Jake and the engineers, Will and Yohan. Yohan eyes, Yohan eyes. I'm going to get up and say, here, all right, here's what we got. Three rules. I'm not babysitting your goddamn kids, I don't have one. If you're a wave, be prepared to hear God damn it. And don't ever address me in my eyes. Okay anybody can have any questions. I'd like to remind you all that we are in reef central at the moment

and please give it the respect that it deserves not to be confused with comedy central which has no reefs. Alright now if you get those rules we'll get along and if you don't you're gonna get a little something something in your tip envelope In airline ticket Now the donkey For she had a cross hills and mountains to the nearest airport, which will probably be 90 miles away Hey, could someone turn that table lamp off. It's really distracting me. Oh, sorry that's actually Caroline okay is that vacuum dusting that's Caroline so okay why is your hat rack moving I just put my coat on top of Caroline are we selling used cars in here what that big flapping inflatable thing that's actually Caroline oh well I will take a used camera please I I could use that while we're

here in D.E. So he's like yeah he's both bigger he's like this is a much bigger both in last time so it's not the place they're in your stripes right they better deliver because they're so belongs to Jesus, but their ass belongs to me. Well, what can I say? I'm an ass man. He is a soul man. So then there's like, you know, everyone's getting to work. They're cleaning. There's like a moment down in like the Jetsky room where Chandler's like, all right, well, if you need to clean anything, there's a whole bunch of stuff here in the Bosen locker and and rise like the Bosen locker Is that called the Bosen locker because we're like not supposed to go in there?

Is that what you're just trying to say? Huh? I'm like no, no, it's everyone can use it So go, okay, I just I don't know like in Alaska. We don't have both of us. We just have like monster hell a bit rushes We just have huge fish and extremely horny aggressive men Sorry, that sounds stupid warning aggressive men. Sorry, that sounds stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see a flounder hump and anchor. Yeah. So Kate and Adrian are talking and she's like, so little man, what started you want this journey of? And pencil racing foreheads. And she's folding napkins, which means she's laying a trap. So she's like, hmm, you will give me information about yourself. And you won't even realize it because I am going to hypnotize you with my simple napkin

folds. There is my fourth napkin. Look at that. Look at me folding napkins just so there's enough footage that no one call me lazy like him later. Thanks. So he's like, yeah, well, actually my dad just died three weeks ago. And yeah, I mean, he was suffering from lung cancer. It was really sad, but you know, he was the toughest man I ever knew. So that is so sad.

You know what else has just died? My boner. Thanks for killing that. I guess I will have to use this napkin trap elsewhere. Right now, thank you very much. Let me go fold some napkins by that. Very chatty candy cane upstairs. The good thing about my job is you can do it anywhere.

Bye. So, I promise. So, the remiss of the... Promissions time, all the Red Bull is delivered. He's fucking crackheads. Every time we're watching this show, I'm like, is it Crystal Math? Is it cocaine?

Is it just plain Adderall? No, it is Red Bull. Cases and cases of Red Bull. Yeah. Is this when Ashton Riley are like rinsing the roof of the deck and Ashton's like, you know, it's really important to rinse really well just so you know. I know as a little lady, it may be hard to understand certain concepts, so let me say it'll slower.

Reince, Elle, sealing, Elle, a little more carefully and she's like, I'm, I'm sorry, excuse me. She's like, he's man candy. He wants me. Yeah. Like those two were gonna bone. And then, uh, Kate's like, so Caroline, do you know what a washing machine is? It's like, kind of, but I have to take care of family. She's like, okay, I'll show you how to use it. Now, Artee's Captain Lease underwear on the ground. Are they clean or dirty? And then Caroline puts them in her face and cut a huge sniff.

And she's like, Clean, but what? Well, they're wet now because of all your mucus. Wow. Oh, so then Adrian getting settled in Ketek. So Adrian, what'd you like to talk about? How you'd like to do this? Do you prefer me to be passive aggressive

or just outright yell at you? And he's like, um, I really like to feel the guests like where the guests at, you know, I consider myself a free flow artist. The most important thing is blowing minds. Okay, it's like, huh? Is she like wraps her scarf around her neck a little tightly and walks backwards out the kitchen slowly? like wraps her scarf around her neck a little tightly and walks backwards out the kitchen slowly. He's telling her he's telling her in Josiah. He's like, for example, I brought these disco lights so I can put on a munder glasses and it

looks like a little disco is about to go inside your mouth. And she's like, and he goes, this is our new women and Josiah covers his face. That is so American. Yeah, so now we have the preference sheet meeting and the guy, the first charter is going to be this dude Steve Bradley who we saw about two or three years ago and he's a friend of Captain Lee's and he's also like a total drunkard and when he was on when we last saw him he wanted a foam party and the foam party was a disaster it was just like just a few like spare bubbles on the it looked like they just were washing down the deck so Adrian's like okay so how about like to reference that how about I make a dish with foam and kick goes, that's cute.

I'm sure he'll really appreciate that while he's black out drunk, stabbing a knife into your phone. She's like, my favorite thing about Steve is that he's a black out drunk. So this is going to be great. And they're having their anniversary and they want a black sand beach picnic and servers dressed up like cupids and they have to make a heart-shaped cake and stuff and Adrian's like, the flies and then like fills their dreams with like amazing glitter and moments of, you know, self-satisfaction. It's like, oh, just shut up. Over there. Okay.

Okay, it's like, oh, sorry, I thought I was hitting that staples button to make life easier. Sorry, Caroline. So then absolutely Ross are in their little tiny room and Ross is like, bro, you got Lisa to bro down here, bro, some Chuck some photos of you like you up in the family. Yeah, we took some white yet. Yeah, you got a child. You got a child on the on the barbie. He's a little shrimp bee and a gill on and one more to me till did down there in New Zealand. Oh, look, he has a picture of Lord, my favorite singer. And look, he has a shape. New Zealand, etc. So then Kate, Kate has a steve's meeting and she's like, well, this is a party for Steve.

Sad, sad Steve. He likes alcohol and cupid, apparently. And he wants to pick Nick and if we get stuck at the dock, we have to entertain him. So, yay. Yeah, because basically it's raining really, really hard, which to me sounds amazing. Like that's my idea of a great yacht experience, hard rain, and just like being inside

a yacht at the dock. I'm like, that sounds great. So, yeah, so Kate's like, yeah, bad weather means I do all the work, and the guests are still disappointed. So it's just a loose, loose sort of like, you know, Caroline's whole ensemble. I mean, technically she's in a uniform, but she just doesn't make it work. You can tell me that again. Caroline, do you know how to do toilet paper diamonds? She's like, yes, then do that.

Okay, like everyone, white, white, everyone in their whites, captain whites, captain whites, and the guest approach. And the captain is now friends with this guy Steve I don't remember if they were friends before but he is now and Steve comes on the boat with you know a woman Way too hot for him which means he probably really does have 17 bathrooms and Hats say Mexican mansion Yeah, I don't even know I don't even understand this guy But he comes on board which means we get our first boat tour of the season and

Steve you know they show everything and oh Steve here's your sweet. There's even a desk. He's like, oh, I even have a desk in case I want to work Thanks, Steve. I love the not being back. I've never let that go and I'm glad that somebody else still uses it and they're every day vernacular. Thank you. Even my dad can now chuckle together over that. Hey, you. So let's see. So they have to pull out and Riley is trying to figure out the ropes and stuff. And she's like, it's tough because in Alaska, you know, I mean, we have ropes, of course, but they're never really tied to anything. You just made a barnacle.

They're just made a barnacle. Who cares? Score. So, so she's like, she's sort of like waiting to hear instructions from the Bowson and then Ashton comes running out to do it for her, which is very, and then he starts like man's planning to her. But what I like about, what I like about Ashton is that he's not a full-fledged dick like Joao, because Joao would just see it through, but I'll take care of this from now on, but instead, Riley gives him a look and he's like, uh, uh, sorry.

He's like, ex-apply, I will, I'll just be on the plane from over here and stay at, head up there. Yeah, I'll give you some space to deal with my main explaining. It's like, thanks a lot, Dick. So then Steven Kate meets and Steven's like is like god they have more bathrooms in my house Just kidding I got 17 of them great joke Steve And he's like hey Kate I brought 500 balloons and I want you guys to blow them all up and we can put them in the room And then it'll come in be a balloon room like okay to run to quiet down

He really used to tell us this why all look. I want you to keep me sober. Well, I'm the balance Okay, I don't want to be totally sober. I don't know. I mean wrong It's like too late. So then Adrian is telling us his food stuff. He's like my food comes from all of my life Experiences whether it's a tapestry on the wall or toilet paper folded into a triangle, which it was today as I laid my first hoopoo. He actually literally says it could be a tapestry on the wall or it could be, I mean, he doesn't, he doesn't even have a British accent. I don't know why I'm doing that like you, because like, he's like, it could be a tapestry on the wall, or it could be a cent I had when I was six at grandma's house. I'm like, I don't know if I want like a cent from grandma's house when you were six to be like the like the the the central

notes of my a news boost. Okay, it's like, it's mouth balls. It's like a like glade plug in and like old tuna fish water. Yeah. So he makes a salad. He's like, it's like a dedicated woman like, okay, Adrian, just settle down over there. So let's see here. Tropical. So it's, whoa. You're okay there. Did you just snarf? I think Ronnie just snuffed. Not like a delicate woman. Like a choking. Are you alive? Please don't choke you death. Please don't choke you death on the podcast.

Not during the delicate woman moment. We'll never get this below deck recap out. While you're choking, I'm in heaven. Like, hey man, it's hard to get sky perception up here. God forbid. Okay, while you're collecting yourself, I will, I will move this forward. So basically, Captain Lee is now has to bring the boat to wherever it's going to anchor and it has to navigate through a reef. And there's like a very narrow in pass.

And Captain Lee's like looking at the map and looking at the water and he's like, God, dammit. You know, you couldn't drive a straight pin up my ass with a 10 pound sled chamois right now. That's what I gotta say. I'm bad nervous. Look at this thing. It's so narrow. You screw up here. You're fucked as a vacuum attachment in the front house. Yeah, I then the sun comes out. He's like, oh, oh never mind. Easy. He's like, God damn it. What is that? Where are we going, Kate? And she's like, hmm, how about we just say, Tata Chuana. And he's like, done. I'm in, souls. So anyway, so now me while downstairs Steve is drunk. And he's like, I love this

jaw. Look at this. He's pushing a on the floor and it opens up and open closed Sesame opens sesame. Hey, this doesn't open up. I need this from my house and you got it from my house Can I get my house? Who is this? You have 17 in the bathrooms So then I kept on saying all right Chand, on my mark, give me five shots. Like, could there be any more shots? Now Chandler, now, the, that's five captains. And she's stuck in, seems pretty stuck in there. Captain's like, yeah, it is.

You make a bit. So, um, so then we get Adrian and Kate. Kate's like, Adrian's making chocolate covered strawberry. So, um, so then we get Adrian and Kate. Yeah. And Kate's like, Adrian's making chocolate covered strawberry. So he's melted down this chocolate and he's like, you know 99% chocolate is intense. Not a lot of people can handle it. She's like, those are called carol of rock a cow it releases Indervance Yeah, it's an dirt and dirt and dirt and dirt for whatever It's like so you're high right now. So what you're telling me He's like kind of I'm sort of always high. That's what you're gonna find out about me. She's like

so Meanwhile now it's nighttime and Steve is like like, hey, hey, hey, hey, I want to have another drink. Also, it's cold in here. You know, it's cold in here. Look, my nipples are hard. Look at my nipples. My attention.

I can cut glass, but I won't cut your glass because it's a nice boat. Yeah, just kidding. I'm going to cut all the glass. Okay. So, I'll be committing suicide downstairs. If you need something else, call the mop with a wig. Okay. So I'll be committing suicide downstairs. If you need something else, call them up with a wig. Okay. Also, I know you're lying because if there's a gentle chill in the air, I will be wearing my cardigan and I'm not doing that. So please don't

let me again about the weather. So they're all blowing up balloons downstairs in the crew mess. And just I was like, just you know that we don't have a factory of minions down here? We only have one Caroline unfortunately. And God save us if there's more than that. Could you even imagine 500 Caroline's? She's like, you know, I really don't want to put out balloons. What I'd rather do is put one sleeping pill in his drink. Okay. I really don't want to put up balloons. What I'd rather do is put one sleeping pill in his drink. Okay

So, Daya's like I'm already one step ahead of you, Kate So they've decided that Ashton has to be cute bit And of course, he's like, I don't want to be cute. Yes, you do you work out, okay? Yeah, you work out You're the one who gets to wear the underwear, okay? Yeah. And meanwhile, while he's getting into his little cupid diaper, Kate is upstairs, clearly dissatisfied because she has to make a table scape using red tin cells. She's like, well, normally this is an evening service. So I would do seashells or glass or pebbles. But I guess tin cell is what we'll be doing today. So I will put this out here.

And I'm going to blame it on Caroline because it actually looks like her face. So Steve comes out wearing Fred Flintstone at a rock concert outfit. It's like bizarre, whatever he's doing. And then Adrian's making their surf in turf and he's like, I'm thinking, let's deconstruct it. When funky surf and when funky turf. Let's deconstruct it when funky surf and when funky turf

Well, I guess in that what surf intro is isn't it inherently deconstructed It's like a surf and a turf like how much further can it be deconstructed? I'm gonna serve inside out fish and an inside out cow So the key let's see so the captain and Steve captain has to wear this special stupid outfit from the dollar store. I actually kind of look good on Captain Lee, oddly enough. It was nice to see him in a t-shirt. You're perfect. So, and then Steve just keeps hugging him way too hard. And then the food is served. And Adrian has made a bisque with a foam, with a coconut foam or something. And Steve looks at it like we all do when we first see a foam, you know, it's like a big

lot of spit. Yeah, and he's like, this is off the charts and believe about you buddy. So Ashton comes in and is cupid diaper grabbing his dick and stuff and Riley's like, I'll grab your dick for a year so she's like cradling his junk. Oh, it's like not so monster halbid if you know what I'm saying. And God, this is where everything's just going really fast. So this is where so upstairs the table, Josiah, Josiah is like, and did you like the foam sir and he's like I Devam yet and the caption beneath it Louis says

So Kate Kate's like all right Josiah Um can we, we are going to clear the foam and then we are going to get some fork to knives up there for service. He's like, I'm sorry, Kate, but don't we have some sashimi coming up? Shall I put out chopsticks? Oh, that's a good catch. That's a good catch, Josiah. Yes, take note, Caroline. Take notes.

He's like Caroline. Kate just called down and did a perfect impression of you. Is it funny that in this version we Caroline and Luke are swapped Caroline is now disobservient and Luke is now the boss. Yes he is like the male Caroline and Luke's body so weird and I love having that back on Bravo. Yeah. So, okay, it's like, oh my God, I love him. So they get served sashimi with sheep cheese, which sounds like an odd mix to me, but you know, who might, look, I had a garden sandwich today. Hey, you know what, it's like a filly roll.

Well, there you go. So the captain looks at it like it's the first gay person he's ever seen. He's like, God, this is really good. God, I'm saddened. It's always dangerous doing Orange County and Velo deck in the same day. Cause Captain Lee and Shannon B.

Dora are really in the same, the same will house there. And they're both talking about salmon. So it's like very, very difficult. Yeah, salmon and cheese, good call. Yeah, so many parallels. So Captain Lee loves the food. He loves it so much that he sort of like more and fully looks down at it as if to say, well, I was getting ready to say, God damn it, this guy's an amateur, but you know what,

it's actually pretty goddamn good. I will not be babysitting this. I'm going to just eat it. So Kate goes to, I've never seen Kate like this. She goes into the galley and she's like, a little five year old with a job. You are the Miley Cyrus of Yacht Shaffs and that is a huge compliment. He's like, yay! He's like, yay! What? What does that mean? It just means that you have a lot of promise and some skill, but you'll probably mess it all up very soon. And the captain upstairs is like, this is my first meal with this chef and my sacks and underwear on the floor. And Carol is like I know this smell of it. She's just like crawling under the table like Princeton when the dumps cry.

What are you doing down there? I don't know. So let's see where are we here? So she makes up sticks. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food. So much food? So she makes up so much to Adrian. Yeah lots of beautiful blue they put the balloons in the sweet. Yeah, okay, it's like his food is beautiful Not only that is delicious. Not only that he executes it calmly and fall asleep. He's Malian Carol on it's like oh my god We come to ease We come in peace! We'd be willing to give you Caroline. So meanwhile, there's...

We'll give you Caroline, but we're afraid you'll get a bad impression about our species. So... So anyway, so then up on the bridge deck, another por is about to start Ross is really good about these porno moments Because Chandler's like all right big guy. I'm gonna let you knock off now So that way you're fresh tomorrow and Ross is like honestly brew I'm honestly wallet awake Really it's like every scene's like porno scene now. Yeah, I'm honestly awake is someone should run those scuppas wake is someone should run those scuppas. It's like, damn, damn, damn, yeah, yeah. Hard scabbering, coming soon into cold studios.

So then, Cupid comes in again, he's all dressed now and Caroline is like, is that your Cupid out, Finn or is that your junk in there? Is it just folded weird? And he's like, it's my junk. But it is like pulled up in a horse. Yeah, it's like he pulled it up weird. And I'm not sure what he did. It's like it's taped.

Yeah, I'm just imagining Caroline being like, is that your junk or is just pulled up? We're in a car line. I'll take it from here. Is that your junk or is it just it puts up weird? Okay, that's what I just said. Shhh! Sh up? We are the slides just said shhh to my tell me that shhh which is actually what happens next because in the kitchen there's some

issue with the vent and case like there's something with the band and they're trying to figure it out and Caroline comes in just like um K K K K I'm looking up to bed I'm trying to figure out where that thing is coming from just I was like Mother is working So he's like do not tell me to shush music well, I was trying to talk to the chef Okay, okay, bro. I got you. I got you bro. Okay. I got you and now she's gonna lose her shit

Yeah, exactly cuz he's just right, well, I know I hate being just too, but, and that is annoying because they're like equal and for him to shush her is like, it is a pretty obnoxious move, but hilarious. Yeah, but they're also standing there talking. So I think the fire alarm is on. So much to allow alert captain Lee.

Oh, I'm sorry, Carolyn, it's you.. So so now they like bring out the birthday cake the birthday cake looks sort of like a like a horseshoe crab. You know, I was like that was not my favorite that wall of sugar thing. What do you call it? The becomes on don't yeah, he does fun don't I mean that's pretty big for a guy to yeah, we're still better than anything Matt did or Adam so oh yeah, I definitely Adam Adam's at home like damn it Michelin star although Adam did he actually pulled out some good stuff so asked so As Ashin brings out the cake and he's in his costume and seems like Like he has like a sheet tucked into underwear He's like 20 shannins on a roller coaster So let's see so the next day it's time to go into the water and Steve is like yeah, I'm gonna go on

It's breakfast and he's already like wasted. I mean, I think that he's more than drunk. I think he's got some substance that's going on in his body because how can you be that drunk in the morning when you wake up? Yeah, that's not bad. So he's gonna write a Giovanni out into the middle of the ocean and Chandler's like, hey, bro, you want to wear a life jacket?

He's like, no, life jacket. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me election right here. He's just like speeding around. I mean, I've seen this murder mystery before he speeds around speeds around and next thing you know, Steve is dead. And then as they look at the body, they realize he didn't die from the Jetsky. Someone shot him or something like that. Either way, he is speeding around and Captain Lee comes down to try to get him to put on the the lifejack. He's like, all right, I don't want to babysit you right now, but you got to put on the life jacket. Safety's important. he seems like, life is short, I don't wear life jackets. Like, exactly, life is about to get a lot shorter, actually, if you don't wear your stupid life jacket. Is it really that hard? Is it like, what is it stopping you?

What is it preventing to put on the life jacket? It's gonna cover up your stupid fake chest hair, t-shirt that you bought at Spencer's gifts. It hurts when you're fat. Nothing. It's a, yeah, they probably have fat friendly, you know. Oh, they always say that, but they never do. So, yeah, and I have to also point out that this is all because Ross Tatletale's.

He's like, he needs to be in the jacket. Oh, I'm telling. So he tells on the captain's like, ah holy mother a crap or whatever so He's like this is a huge mistake. This is a life in danger. In mistake. It's deadly serious And so it's like done done done and then we get scenes from the upcoming season and wow it looks fucking crazy Yeah, it looks super super crazy. I'm so excited to see it. And it looks like a good cast. I'm like super into Josiah being the British butler on the boat. That's such a great twist. Um, I'm excited. I love it. And I love, you know, I love the Blow Dectr� trajectory. They just get crazy and crazy and crazy over the course of the season. So I'm excited to see where it takes us.

Yes. Okay, everybody. Thanks so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow with the Real Housewives of Dallas and Friday with a very special Real Housewives of Atlanta preview. In the meantime, go get some tickets Friday morning tickets go on sale for the crappy awards here in Los Angeles to go get those. Next week Thursday night, we are going to be in New York at the Grammar C Theater doing a live real housewives of Dallas recap. And then on Friday, we're doing real housewives of New York season 4 episode 10, Morocco, something rather. And then in November, we're in Seattle and December. We're in Nashville. Also, you have three days to get your head back. T-shirts before they are discontinued forever. Yeah. And our bonus episode is Patreon. all of those links tickets, merch,

t-shirt, whatever. Go to watchwetcraftens.com. All right, we sure love you. We do love you. Speak to you guys tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Thank you.