Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: I Got Your Nuts, Bi**h!

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

Below Deck Mediterranean is back, and this time we're in Italy! Watching a season of Captain Sandy say "Banana" in spanish is going to be the gift that never stops hugging. This week's bonus is about teaching our moms technology, wifi passwords, and the risky plot lines on Gimme a Break. For our premium bonus episode, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Give Them BenRon tees at crappensmerch.com avail through May! **Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I've been watching what crappens was for. Watch what crappens were for. Kids what, habits what, habits what, this what, habits what, this what, habits what, this what,

habits what, habits what, habits what, habits what, habits what, this what, habits what, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy without the bird. Jess saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, Big Grant Master. Give them hope, Miss Noel. And Lizzie Drucker, a fun motherfucker. We love you guys.

Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. A podcast about all that crap we just just love talking about on Yeel Browse. I'm Ronny Karam from the Rose Pricks Bachelor Podcast, which comes back next week to talk about the cast of the upcoming season of the Bachelor. Let's do this, okay? Let's get this done. And here I am with my gorgeous little friend partner, internet husband, Ben Madelker of the B-side blog in the band to Blinda.

Hello B- Hi, hi everyone. Hi. Hi. So I just got my shirts in the mail that I ordered from our new Threadless store. They were so comfortable and soft guys. Go get some. Okay. Well, yeah, those Threadless shirts are really soft because last week when we're in Chicago one of our listeners why am I blanking on her name I want to say Maggie but I feel like her name is not Maggie and I'm already

upset about it so but you know who you are she made us these wonderful t-shirts that had Ramona singer on them and they were so soft and she said yeah they're from threadless. Um, Holler, and we also met somebody who helped start Threadless. Her husband helped start Threadless. We did? We talked about Threadless a lot getting drive after that live show. We met someone who started Threadless. Her husband worked with them when they, when they were just starting up.

Yeah. Oh shit. She's like, I'm in for them because I was saying I'm freaked out because It's a new company and I haven't really even tried the stuff, but it's so it looks so nice And she's like, oh no, their stuff is all really really good. So there you go. It was this electros husband I'm gonna put my ball in a name court Okay, I will it's just like a normal I will lose I had to say a leg for his name to prove that I remembered someone's name So like you know, I'm saying I was like to show that I paid attention because a leg was with anyhow.

People really don't care. This is like tuning in to like the worst conversation ever. The point is our shirts are going to be soft and luscious. And the point is hump day. Get off our asses. Okay. How about that? Yeah.

The other point is that tomorrow tickets for our Nashville show go on sale. Go to watchacrapans.com and there'll be a link to the ticket, ticketing link there. And then on Friday, we got tickets going on sale for Seattle, New York, and Denver. So you all better get those tickets. New York, now New York has a history of selling out extremely quickly.

Our show at Gotham Comedy Club sold out in like half a day. Our show in at Barry Borrowman sold out in like three hours. So really make sure you are online when the tickets go on sale and get your ticket. Yeah, you guys. Okay, now I have a very important announcement that has nothing to do with anything since we're already staying on topic so much in this show. It is hump day. And I just got a letter from TaskRabbit.

Now, it says, Notice of Data Breach. Now, this is what we were talking about. All these hunking companies, now what do I do? I go pay some other company $800 to make sure I'm not data breached. Fuck all of you companies in your data breach Okay, that's what I have to say. Yeah, no exactly. Yeah, I got that I got that thing had to change my password It was opening because I thought it was gonna be a rejection letter because I signed up for taskrabbit like two years ago And they never got back to me to be a taskrabbit. Yeah

But then I think they realized that I don't even do anything for myself. So why would I do anything for it's like they knew me. So I think that's a lie. That's a lie because on Monday, your friend his back went out and you went and you helped your friend. You actually was in the middle of the podcast. You're like, I'm sorry. My friend isn't paying. You went and you took care of him, like Ramona's caregiver would. And that was so nice of you. And, you know, we sit here and we, we are shady and we make fun of like all these people on Bravo. But the truth is that people may think you're a caddy bitch, but you're actually a really lovely human being who's very giving. Oh, thank you, babe. And I think that's what's nice about our watcher crap in this community is that, you know, I think everyone that I met at the live shows,

everyone's really nice. And our online groups are shockingly civil and friendly. They'll be a flare up once in a while. But I've seen other groups on many different topics. And they just always develop into madness. And I think the thing that brings us all together is, I think that people are mostly very, very nice people, the ones who are attracted to the show, but even nice people have shady thoughts.

So this is a way for us to get our shady thoughts out so that we can be nice in the rest of the world. And that's the kind of podcast. And that's kind of, I'm just keeping a podcast joke from Monday going. Thank you, Ben. I love you Welcome, but you're no yours. You're for real. You're so giving and sweet I feel like people need to need to know that for when you cuz you go on a you go on a good rant as do I but like you'll go on a rant But people need to know that

Even though you go on those rants you are like really such a lovely person. I love you, Ben Thank you, and I'm about to call so many people cut fitness. So that was a really good way to preference. It's a good wind up. It's a good wind up before we call it preface rather preface. What am I on real house was a Potomac? I'm shot shot now. It's a good way to prefer it. The next broadcast that with them before we board the yacht, though, we have a million things to show these days,

which I know is probably so annoying for the audience, but it's actually really exciting for us because it means that we're like, so much is going on with this podcast. So aside from the live shows that are going on sale this week, we have San Francisco and Phoenix, which we told you about a million times, go buy those tickets to those run sale now, and we have a new digital series called so much that crap ends It's on this app called TV party app. It's one of these apps where you can like watch TV shows and then like Comment it's this like online community, but it's an app or you sort of are like Watching TV shows and responding at the same time. It's really cool

So we have a new weekly series for the next several weeks I think it's gonna be going for about 12 weeks or so. Don't quote me on that. It's called so much that crap ends. If you download the app, there's a section that's called original series. We're there. And we basically for 20 minutes, we just talk about the week of Bravo. And we had actually a huge amount of fun not just like doing it, but editing it too. And we think you'll like it too. So go do that, watch it. Yeah, and it's free. Yeah, oh yeah, most importantly, it's free. Which is rare on this show. It's like, it's free. Don't worry everybody. Everyone's like standing there covering their pocket looks like you better back off.

I know. We do, we realize we are basically like a really obnoxious PBS being like, buy this and buy this and buy this and you're gonna talk back But like this one is free so Okay, also we have to show Snapchat just kidding. I was just saying how do my niece on there? Okay, so this is a huge day because it is the return of below deck Mail and email horror edition because this is the one that started with everyone just getting like super slutty and then the guys were all sexually harassing the other people and then, man, we've gotten so worked up over this one over the years.

Yeah. Well, guess what? Below Jack Mett is back. Darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, darn, that's the theme song. Three times, season three, three times more Captain Sandy. God, I love that's the thing. Three times, season three, three times more Captain Sandy.

God, I love that banana. Yeah, they're really leaning into Captain Sandy this time around. Hey, they called me Captain Candy last time. I'm not going to be that sweet this time. Oh, so just so everybody knows, I don't really have a Captain Sandy voice, so I got a shaker out and I put Captain Lee and Vicki Gumbelsen in there. And that's where Captain Sandy comes from. So get off my ass.

Yeah, every now and then we have to do a disclaimer about our impersonations. A, they're bad. We know that and we embrace that. So if you're like, oh my god, I don't understand that podcast. They have like the worst impersonations. Like thank you. That's the point. Second, second of all, we have like about four or five different impersonation

spectrums. There's like the Tom Tandival spectrum that's also Craig, little and Erica Jane. There's the Kristen one that's like seriously, seriously, but that turns into Robin like, small boon, you know, and then there's like the Captain Sandy all well, you know, which is like, just random sort of like generic Midwest for no good reason. Yeah, and then there's Vicki Gumbelsen, who's also back on the Bachelor at this season, and also anybody else who's even kind of from the Midwest.

Yeah. Woo-hoo. Yeah, so just, you know, it's always good to sort of put out those disclaimers at the beginning of a new season for a show, like Blood Deck Med. Okay, yes. Oh my God, Blood Deck Med.

And then this one is like, okay, how many bad accents can we do in one show? Oh, yeah, that's our other big that's our other huge huge spectrum is our Australia to South Africa Slash perhaps new as in Bobway spectrum just like the Eid alayt alayt alayt alayt Her leader Libber Libber Libber So wow wow I wait I also have to say something do you hear the dog barking? I'm not going to be a little bit late. Her leader, Libre Libre, Bertile.

I wait, I also have to say something. Do you hear the dog barking? No, I'm just glad it's not mine, girl. Okay, no, I want to make sure I want to apologize if listeners are listening to this podcast, like a dog will not stop working. It's because the fuckers downstairs

left their stupid little dog outside. Again I don't believe you live with that. I was there the other day. I was doing, I was there the other day doing this TV party app thing. I cannot believe that you live like that every day with that little fucking, and by the way, it's a very cute dog because I've actually read dogs. It's not, it sounds cute. I just looked at the dog and it's actually not a dog,

which of course, that's like the dog is being mistreated. So we should not shame the dog for not being cute, but it would help with the dog, we're cuter. Yeah, you're like, you're ugly and abused. Absolutely. No, at least I want a hot dog that's being abused next door. Yeah, I think it's like an off brand lobster or something. It's just like awful.

It's so it's already inherently an awful dog, but now that's being abused, it's like it awful. It's so it's already inherently an awful dog, but now that's being abused, it's like it's awfulness is coming out more. So I called, I did text the landlord about it, like a week ago, and he said he'd speak to them. I think the next step now is I'm just gonna call the city, and I don't care, I do not care. Yeah, call the city.

And be like, they leave it. Cause they're helpful. Yeah, the city's super helpful, I'm sure they're helpful. Yeah, the city's super helpful. I'm sure they're going to help, but it is within your rights. Yeah. And this dog is and if you look onto the balcony, the balcony is like cover with little turds like they don't clean the balcony. It's just it's just walking around in its own turds barking all day long.

Well, at least you don't have one of those Marmaduke dogs under their laying horse poops. Yeah, but the Marmaduke dog will probably be pretty chill about it. Yeah, he wouldn't bark, he'd just be like, Oh, okay, welcome to Blooddeck Season 3. Yeah, this is all, this is basically a giant metaphor for the guests who lined up on this ship later on. Well, this week, this week, this year, they're in Italy, which is like the perfect sexual harassment country to be in. Yeah, it's like the guys there like you like me, huh? You like me? You like me. You like me. It's like a bunch of atoms in Italy. Okay, so it's perfect for this show. Yeah, Sandi's like,

I love La Banana. That's that a time. I love a banana pepper. I said that Italian. It's probably a banana. Yeah. But I'm all it's been. I hate that one. Let's do that. What's banana Italian banana? I know.

Oh my god. Getting a original language, Italy. Yeah. So we open. She's like, he can't help but think Italy is the most romantic place in the world. But I'm buying baby shampoo every single year and I don't have a baby. That's what's happening. It's my eye. I just want to have a baby.

Look at me. I have baby. I don't have baby. Still don't have a baby. So I'm only yet. Look at that. I'm like walking to my life. At least I'm on a boat. I'm old enough to be your teenage father. As long as your biological click is the clock is ticking it might as well tick in luxury you know although it's she's in the urge so my biological click that my biological my biological clock doesn't tick anymore I got an Apple watch now it just dings

constantly with notifications from ended out my husband my biological clock just reminds me of how much I haven't want today So oh my god this dog outside is Logical clock just asked me are you gonna get up at any point today? Yeah, heart needs the work Why but by biological clock keeps giving me stock readings and I'm like, I don't care about the stock market, why can't I get rid of this? I can't even find a stock main. So anyway, we, this is sort of like the cold open for the show and we get like a flash of everyone.

So we see Conrad and he's the new bowson and he's like, um, British, and I have a baby face because I'm also 23 and I, are the only thing I have to shave is my chin. I'm like, okay. I literally only have to shave my, shave my chin, but I'm still your bossin. Yeah. I'm just a hairless bossin, what can I say?

Yeah, I'm not sure how those things work together, but I really like it. And I really like that they got such a young person because it's like housewives Abe Shaming but now on a boat. Yeah, he has like a little he sort of has a little bit of like a David burn looks Meets like David Bowie a little bit or maybe I'm projecting that but either way. I'm like He's gonna have attitude in a way that I like I hope has this look on his face When I look at people that cute young all I see is this big sign that

blanks and says not for you not for you not for you and then I back away slowly yeah yeah exactly it's like star trying to preference sheet not for you Adam you know starches he's like how about noodles so captain Sandy is like we're in Italia. Oh, Italia. E. Italy. La la la. I was like, this is going to be her thing trying to sound Italian in her same accent. And I'm here for a. I'm coming back, aside from Hannah and Captain Sandy is also chef Adam. He of the onion fiasco last season and Malia fiasco.

And he's like, I'm back and no more love triangles. Now it's gonna be love love rhombus geometry. It's always been masturbation. Stop trying to change your arc. Yeah. So Adam hangs out with all the other douche bags of brava. And we talked about this a little last week. How Jackson's taught every douche bag on brava to just be like, sorry, I'm a bad guy. Different now. This is different me now. That's every guy on Bravo right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually that's actually how you know your adush bag. If you say I used to be douche bag, but now I'm better, that means that you're actually more of a douche bag. Yeah. Douche bags are not transformers. They just stay douche bags. Okay. Transformers. Last then meets the high. I changed from a douche bag into a douche bag. It's like, well,

I mean, at least you serve a purpose. Yeah. It's like, well, I mean, at least you serve a purpose. Yeah, it's like basically if you're a douche bag and you're a transformer, you basically can transform from a Von Dutch hat to an Ed Hardy shirt. It's like lateral move. So KC, we meet KC, she's one of the new stews and she's like, I used to do pageants and after I did pageants, I really am invincible,

which is not something I've ever heard before. and after I did pageants, I really am invincible, which is not something I've ever heard before. Now, pageant girls feel very strong. I think it's because of their porcelain teeth. Oh. Oh. She's like, that if someone doesn't praise me for doing a good job, then there's something wrong with them. You know what America, stop raising your children

like this, okay? Yeah. If someone is criticizing your child, chances are there's something wrong with them. You know what America stopped raising your children like this, okay? Yeah. If someone is criticizing your child, chances are there's something wrong with your child. Stop telling them that they're perfect. They're not, okay? I know. I actually was prepared to find this girl to be just awful and hideous, but I actually didn't, I didn't hate her, to be honest. I was not as mad at her as I thought I would be over the course of the episode. Me too. She was like, she was okay. She's okay for the first episode. I don't want to hang out with her, but I don't want to kick her off the lunch table either. You know what I mean?

I'm just like she's fine. She's fine for now. I mean, I'm kind of jealous because she threw up the whole time and that's my dream. It's very L.A. Very Dana Plato, which is a callback to our bonus episode. So then we meet our next guy, our next deckhand. His name is Joo. Joo.

Joo. Joo. Wow. And then there's a montage of people trying to say his name. I feel like his name is probably Mike and he just wants to be interesting. Because this douchebag really wants to be interesting. And he's trying way too hard. And so he named himself Jay Wow.

You don't get to just name yourself Jay Wow, sir. Yeah, I already dislike him. I don't know what it is. I just like him. He's like, my name is the icebreaker of old conversations. It's you want to suck in the day? You want to suck in the day? I'm just ready for every guy on below deck

med to be a total woman abusing douchebag. Yeah, because they usually are. I mean, let's never forget season one with Brian. Brian, he was the boss in, right? He was. He was in my thumb. In my thumb of the chewsy. Oh, go away.

So now the next, the next deckhand is Colin. He's from New York, and he doesn't know how to speak Italian at all. He doesn't even know how to say Nyoki. He's like, was that New Yorkie? New Yorkie? I do, you're from New York. You should be able to say Nyoki. Yeah.

And he's also bad with several languages. Yeah. What? He's bad with language. Now we have our last weekend is Jamie and she's a she and her whole thing is like um I was on a boat once where I was the only stew and the only deck and and it was like a lot. I'm like okay whatever. She's like I'm over

dramatic and bubbly but always in the right ways. I don't even know what that means I like you. I don't know like Iversina voice because she's from South Africa. Everyone's getting that same accent for me. I'm a ball. I don't even understand. I'm a ball. Next up is Brooke, who's like the cute sweet one who Adam's going to try and bone later in the season.

Exactly. And she's like, I'm a sucker for romance. I was like, are you guys coming up with your one liner? It's like a casting season. Exactly. And she's like, I'm a sucker for romance. I was like, are you guys coming up with your one liner? It's like a casting sheet. Yeah. Colin's like, oh, no, Jay Wow. I was like, on the day can't, they're all be kidding soon. And he's like, I'm bubbly, never dramatic. And then this one's like, I'm quiet, I'm a sucker for romance. Like, okay, you're all cast. You can call me bunny. So Sandy is like, now don't ever take my kindness for weakness

because you know what my kindness is? It's just kindness. Let's go take a nap together. How about this? This is the plan for today. We're going to take a nap and wake up and do my favorite game, which is how far is it to that thing? Captain Sandy may have some weaknesses,

but guess who does it? Captain kindness. is how far is it to that thing? Captain Sandy may have some weaknesses, but guess who does it? Captain Kindness. My weakness is I just love to measure things from things. Captain Kindness gets knocked down and gets back up again and gets your hug. He drinks a cider, drink, he drinks a soda drink, drinks a whiskey drink. Captain Kindness gets knocked down because right up again, ain't no one gonna let Captain Kindness down. Guess what Captain

Sandy's not gonna do any more this year. Take a lot of poopy and as she get some, she's gonna hug that person and say, good job anyway, okay? Do better next time. So finally, finally now, like we have like opening credits and I did notice after having studied regular Blow Deck, the theme song so much because we were always trying to sing it, but we couldn't. This one actually does have a melody, but I don't know it well enough to sing it to you guys now. It's the same wine, isn't it? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,

dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun,, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, no, because the below Jack classic does that, and then it has these weird notes, like, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb. But then this one actually has a melody, and I was able to hum along to it,

but I can't do it for memory. I have to give me a few weeks. I can't do any of these for memory. I just remember that this one does end with da da da da da da da da da. Because I was like, oh, those chords that I can ever remember here, they are again. It's like the opposite of the Beatles.

I'm like, that is the least gachi tune I've ever heard. It truly is in both cases. They are like the least cat. They are just, there's like that line. I always think about in forgetting Sarah Marshall that. Well, that's fitting. Yeah. No, it wasn't that much. Sarah, you know, you couldn't remember it. Got it. Is it called forgetting Sarah Marshall? Anyway, he adjacent Seagull, his whole thing is that he scores crime shows. I've always remember him saying, this isn't music, it's just tones.

I'm just playing notes on the keyboard. It's not music, it's just tones. And I feel like below deck theme music is like, as little music you can make, like before you are you turn into tones. It's like they've done just enough to become music as opposed to tones on a keyboard It's like one of the bosons you never gets to come on camera playing good glass You know like the the rim of a glass like Barry and Larry. Yeah So we're in Naples Italy everybody and Hammers the first to arrive at her statue

He's tiny little roly bag Did you notice the button that statue by the way Na Naples, they're like Naples and there's like a close up of the statue that had an amazing ass. No, because I'm a respectful person and I don't, I look at statues for their eyes. I love their dead gray eyes. You should go back and look at that statue's ass. It was an amazing ass. No, and if it was 2018, those statues would all have penis pumps.

I'm so embarrassed for statues that got their picture taken back then. You know, it had a nice ass, but very small legs. It only worked out at the top. So classic. Statues didn't know what helicopters were back then. So they couldn't do the helicopter on themselves. Maybe someday. So you were saying Hannah's arriving. So Hannah's there and she's like she's a big

party the boat which now I'm thinking maybe she's saying she's a big boat but I think she said she's a big bite. I don't know. Well I think she said big boat but it sounds like bite because she has an accent. Yeah that's quite a bum. It's a slightly first and they're basically like oh here person I realized was a little shady bitch once I watched the show back. And Hannah's like, hey, lady, I have made respect for them to start anytime soon. Hugs, my cugs.

I don't have babies yet. That's my story. Me neither who needs them, am I right? The only thing good about a baby is when it naps. Ah, so precious. Oh, so they, Hannah, her, I mean, she's like, I think I'm going to like it.

So she's checking out the boat. And Sandy, I don't know. Sandy just changed herself to the steering wheel or whatever because she didn't follow her through, which was shocking to me. I was like, do Sandy get changed to a chair? Because last year, Sandy was like, well, God, look at these captains. They're so much inside of them. Right. Here's how I like fluff and a pillow, Hannah, by the end. I got to love the finina. Maybe Captain Sandy was busy planning out her first anger sanctuary of the season.

Anger sanctuary. Anger sanctuary. Oh, I can't wait to find two different rocks and put the anchors tied to the rock anchors to both of the rocks and it creates a little sanctuary. That's really cozy, but then also introduces the threat of us drifting away. Guess what else I want to put to bed? Anchor. Anchor to I love an anger sanctuary. Remember when I had a anger sanctuary. Remember when I had an- Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. Anger mean either. Let's keep it that way crew.

Speaking of anger sanctuaries here comes Adam. He shows up. It's like hey, yay. You know Adam and Hannah are all hugs. Adam, oh I'm sorry go ahead. I was just gonna say we should mention this yacht's name is called the talisman talisman, Talisman, my tone. To, just add an eye and you've got this entire show. So Adam has kept my favorite quality about himself, his heart is just kidding. The fact that he's like talking to himself all the time because no one ever is around him.

You know it's like a chef talking to himself. So he's just got himself to talk to and he's like, the domain, yeah. I was like, oh God, Adam's going to talk to himself this entire season. And I love it. Yeah. He's like, yes. So since last season, I managed to hop in the van and drive. I just drove. I went from San Diego all the way up to Canada. And then I was in the woods and I was cooking. I really hope helped my cooking abilities. I'm like, oh good, that'll be really helpful when you have like five grizzly bears on board.

Can't wait for that. Well, I've got some salmon that's raw and we'll put in the bucket and make a jump out. Like it's in a river. I know. Someone needs to talk about like brags about just driving a old damn. Like, you know what, you smell.

You smell like poop in a woods. You smell like someone who doesn't wash their hands. You smell from here, okay? It's also like not remarkable to drive from San Diego to like British Columbia. Like that's a, that's like a common road. It takes like three days, two or three days, you know? I'm just not gonna allow, I'm just not gonna let them

have it. I'm like, no. I know, we're not at the bottom. We know how it works. You took the 101. Yeah, we're mad at Adam. I don't know why. We have a city called MetaMix. Yeah, we're mad at Adam. I don't know why we have a We have a We have a

We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a

We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a

We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a we have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a We have a on his side by the end of the episode. So go figure. Yeah, I changed my, I can't, yeah, I'm, I'm a total wishy washi, I'm not a true hypocrite. Hypocrite. Yeah.

So I, so yeah, so Adam's like, yeah, now that there's no Malia, there's no distractions. I've never felt like more of a chef, stupid women. Oh, it was striking the man. Why those women have to be sex objects all the time. Oh, damn, boobies are out of my way. Now I can do my job. I'm like, yeah, but don't you love it when they realize it was never the fault of the

boobies in the first place? Yeah, I love this. I love watching someone's dream crash in one episode. Yeah. So, uh, Sandy is like, well, I got to say, uh, last, last season, Hannah and Adam almost got fired. So this time, the moment that that preference sheet doesn't get checked or that dream doesn't get filled up, no second chances, no second chance. Oh, I may be like a second chance, maybe a second chance.

I'll tell you what, there's no second chances, but there's fifth hugs. The hugs never stop. There's no crying in baseball, but there's napping and yawning. I'm not going to forgive you twice. I'm going to forgive you forever, because that's what we're raised to do. We can't many feet to the buoy. How many feet to the buoy? When Adam gets to the boat, she's like, were you running?

I missed. Did you say that? Basically, that's how everybody greets me. Did you run that? Basically, that's how everybody greets me. Did you run here? Yeah, I've been cooking in the woods and really sustaining myself on a diet of acorns and turns out not a lot of energy left, it is. She's like, now listen here, you two.

You know how they say RTFQT? Like, no, nobody knows that. What is that? I didn't, oh yeah, she was like like yeah, that's why she's like you know how they say RZAB LQ MN Right when you think there's no more Mars the pan on your call She you wake up and then it's time to go and work it out. I have a question. What does LGBTQ mean? What is the Q?

The questioning. No, that's the name saying. Well, I'm questioning. Okay, then you're part of the parade. Wait a minute. Okay, Hannah's like. Thank you. Thank you for doing a nice little little

and hearty bit there. I was not expecting it to work. That was a little hearty bit. Yeah, that was good. That was good. I and Hardy bait. Yeah, that was good. That was good. I actually was like thoroughly entertained and I was hoping it'd go longer. Quasiting. What about the beef?

That's for buy. What do I want to buy? What's an L? Okay, Conrad. Conrad, I mean, I'd want to call him Conrad, but it's Conrad. He's the young one right? Yeah, he's 23 He's like, I'm English and I'm a basin and I'm young But don't you treat me like it and then captain Sandi's like get over here and let me wipe your little bottom Get over here a little young little baby baby

booty booty, do it. He thought he's like, do you miss? Do you booty, do you vote? Bori tori tot he's like damn it Judy putty to the boat So then case you arrives also tell me if I skip over anything because I it was there was so much That was happening that it was like my notes are 30 pages. We're gonna be here. I'll do yeah Okay, so 80 minutes by the way, all right, so case you're eyes wall all arrived and he's like I'm from zimbabwe And he's like I'm from zimbabwe too Well my parents are from zimbabwe, I'm from Zim Bobboy. And he's like, I'm from Zim Bobboy too. Well, my parents are from Zim Bobboys. Like, I'm from Zim.

I'm from Zim. Well, I have some white Zim friend ale get it. Little Zim joke. Yeah, Zima, you're about to joke, shut up. No, just kidding. I like you guys so far. So Hannah, when Casey comes in, I've, like, let's rest it along. But let me talk about Casey's bracelets first.

I mean, really running. Sure. Sure. This is how I know I can't be friends. I love that novel cases bracelets. I cried at the end of it. This is how I know I can't be friends with the person when they're like, hi, I'm Casey. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. It's like she's orange so many bracelets. She's jingle. You know, you're going to be's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, for feminism, Berkis. Babe. Babe. Okay, so then Adam meets Conrad. He's like, dude, I'm so jealous of your name because it has rad in it. I can't say.

I can't say. People don't change. Yeah, well Adam's name has a damn in it, so go figure. So Sandy takes Conrad out and she's like, here's the real important thing, distances. And he's like, oh, I've got it, distances, I know distances, love distances. She's like, all's the real important thing, distances. And he's like, oh, I've got it. Distancing is I know distances, love distances. She's like, all right, little baby face. Give me the distance from here to that little boat. And he's like, what's that 80 meters?

She goes 80. And he goes, or 100. And she goes, perfect. How's that perfect? That was a different 20 meters. I know. There is something. The thing is being too positive, okay?

Casey's mom. It was basically the scene from Big Business when Ben Miller wants to buy the polka dot dress. He was like, give me that in a six. And then we went, ah, seven. Very well, eleven. Whatever she says, that's what it was. Because everything is about Big Business at the end of the day. So Casey's like, they're like, so like's your experience? She's like, well, normally,

this is like the biggest boat I've ever worked on. Like, normally, I'm just on small boats on Long Island. And they show like a picture of her. She's essentially on like a canoe. And she's like, I have experience. I'm like, girl, you were, how, like, how are you going from like a little thing, like a little water taxi, to a 50 meter yacht?

What is happening? This is one of those shows that I know that people are secretly praying on. Like once the camera's finally stopped rolling, people just start praying because how else have they just not all died yet? Like how do you run a boat with people who are like, oh, I totally made it.

I've been on boats for years and then they're like, what's up for? Well, you know, there's like clearly a shadow crew. I mean, they always short on the first episode They're we see like the engineer and the first mate in the second mate who we will get to later But you know, there's like there I think there are some people on there who have been yaddies But but they always put in some basically some craigslist people. And I think that there are like shadow crew members that are like picking up the slack. And you know, oh yeah, I'm sure you're in the back there. I can't be that many of them because the boats are only so big.

You know, there's also the whole editing crew and the shooting crew and those people. So, which is crazy. I actually think it's pretty amazing that they're able to pull off this show just because you, it's, there's small spaces in those cameras have to be everywhere all at once and it's like tight confines and when things are happening it's hard to navigate around. I think it's like a pretty impressive production feat. That being said, Kase goes, I've been in yachting for four years. I'm like, you've been on a canoe for four years and she's like, and I'm smart.

Okay. That's just said just. No smart person ever. I've been in yachting for four years. I'm like you've been on a canoe for four years and she's like and I'm smart Okay, that's just said just no smart person ever. Here's your bin go through up in it Yeah smart people generally don't say I'm smart. Yeah, so Brook is like Brooker Brook is like well, I've been in yachting for three and a bit years and I used to be the chief Steve one a yacht like Uh-oh, remember how that worked out for Bugsy? Yes, they kind of got a Bugsy, but this one's very tricky. I'm not sure, because she's so quiet, and she seems so sweet, but as judgmental as I am, I've learned that I'm pretty much wrong all the time, so I'm waiting for her to turn into a giant horrible cow.

Yeah, so Hannah is, she's talking with Hannah, and Hannah's like, so you know Sophie Paige and she's like, yeah, she's like, Sophie Paige is one of my best friends. Did you know, Sophie Paige? Oh my god, Sophie Paige, she actually left you all in to live with me and Sydney and we had a great time. I'm like, great. Yeah, because at first I sent shade from Brooke because she's like, Sophie Paige, well, yes? I replaced her on the last. Yes, I was like, say any. It's like, well, she left the boat to spend time with me on the one who got fired, not her.

It's like, now it all makes sense. It's nice little like battle of the wills over Sophie Page. I don't know why I wrote down the Sophie Page bit. Like, I was just running down everything. Like, they know Sophie Page. Oh my god, I love Sophie Page, never met her, but. Oh, of know Sophie Page oh my god I love Sophie Page never met her but all of you Sophie Page so let's see I was taking the wrapping off of my thing okay Hannah I was like last year I certainly didn't get along with my stewardess so hopefully this year I can sleep with that worrying about waking with nine diggers in my beak good luck with that yeah

you might want to sleep on the top bunk so So Jamie, the Deccan derives, and then excuse me a little bit, had a little bit. Hey, Rude. I'm being, oh, I know. So what's his face in New Yorker? I was named Colin. I don't know, but can I say his line please? Because it is the best line of the show.

He's like, I'm a fairy captain on Fire Island in New York. I mean, I know you have to start from the bottom. I was like, oh my god What a awkward time to call yourself a bottom? I'm like listen have you seen that statue in nipples I was like, I think I've met you Yeah, great work. I feel like if you're a fairy captain to fire island You must be like a quasi celebrity there, right? Like everyone has to ride you or ride your fairy. I should ride it I didn't mean it like that. I mean like

In the bottom ditch Do you know I mean you're famous like you know the postman who comes by every yeah, no offense fairy captains Yeah, oh, it's like a fairy fairy bottom. Also one who loves headbands. This guy will do, he'll try anything around his damn head. Have you noticed? He loves a headband. And I love you. I did not notice. I think I noticed. So captain Sandy calls everyone together for a meeting

and so we get to meet Marco and to Mietrio, who are the engineers and then also Elliot, who's the chief mate, which I always love that we see them for like this one second beginning of every season and then never see them again. Except for that guy Nick on below deck. Remember Nick was the one who like left the boat mysteriously and then a new guy came on

and remember when K-Chess Dam was trying to get on to the little tinder, tinder, whatever it's called. Trying to get on and he like wouldn't help her and she's like, um, a little help please, a little help. Like how you could move So good I'd just like to call them Bob Bob and Bob like the new heart guys well Barry and Larry remember There's Barry and Larry there. They're my theory very and Larry. Yeah guys come on making effort with your names below deck made Yeah, there's a few many names to remember if people are never gonna see again. Yeah, so

Ciao, ciao and Conrad are talking and I was like growing up in the zim was tough Rinse and white rinse and white rinse and see me rinse and white. I was like are you bossing him around or talking about your childhood? Well, it's already getting on my nerves highlights. Yeah, he was saying like he is in ballboy. He was had, you know, there was political issues, there was strife. Anyway, nominy aunty. I'm like, I guess we'll just like probably glaze over the fact that there's probably some huge like,

major, you know, racial things going on there and class and first. I like that he's like, my only escape was a boat. I'm like, I think you had to drive to the boat, right? Oh, you got him. Got him. Mailed it. OK, we're done.

Got him. You took a car to the boat, sir. Sounds like the car was the escape. And I bet it was a Ford escape. Transportation slam. My boat cares. Don hump dad. Yeah.

They're killing it. So Captain Sandy is going through all the rules of the boat. And she's like, well, you know, you got a fluff of pillow. And then it's 80 feet to the bully. But sometimes it's 100 feet depending on where you are in the waves. We have a 3 decks. And the top deck is the top deck and the bottom deck is the bomb deck. And then there's a banana. I love that banana. It's just like going on and on and on. It's res me is captain smokers don't smell like smoke read this book here. When I wake up the morning and I'm thinking of you,

it's not good for you. Ask coffee. Why do you think it's so bitter? I know what I love more than a banana. The taste of choice, a couple. Even though I'm real mad at it in the morning, I'll tell you that. But I forget that kindness.

It's free. So then Adam is like already eyeing Brooke. And he's like, this these are super cute. But so it's having a job. I guess I'll be risking my job. Oh, watch you fail at both simultaneously. It's delicious, sir. So Hannah and Adam, Hannah's like, well, the baits in good shape can be a glass season. He's like, well, at least that makes one of us.

Yeah. And then he goes, I really like, by the way, you didn't say that. He's like, oh, you know, I used to call Hannah resting bitch face, but now, now that I know, it's not a resting bitch face, it's just how her face rests. I'm like, that's called resting bitch face. You get to the back of the bus, math face. I'm still not into you. You better make me some good fetishine. Oh, wait, you did. Okay, I love you.

I also have to say I'm just so happy that they finally got a nice boat like not one that's covered in like lapis lazuli and various like glass bricks, etc. Like this was a nice I'm not the same if I don't if I don't have a feeling Robert Gulae could have lived on that boat. I don't want to be a part of it Well, there were those very blue cushions by the hot tub. So that's, that was sort of like not the nicest. And actually I did not like the blankets on the beds. I did not like the bedding. Wow. You're having a blanket hating week.

What was my other blanket hating week? Hermaze blankets. Well, yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Well, you know what, betting betting is serious. And people should people should be woke to it. Not as serious as a job. No pun intended. I'm woke right now. I'm thinking of blankets. Got to met at blankets right now. So Conrad has a little meeting with the Deccans and he he announces his

his mantra which is, bolicon provet, praise and public, or a bolicon public, bolicon private. Like I'm not sure what I'm using. You know what I'm using. Relationship, you know that, right? Yes, called big little lies. We know what happens to you, Conrad. We know what staircase you wind at the bottom, why about the bottom of run Nicole Kidman, run! So, while he's talking Jamie, the female deckhandans like, hey guys, please involve me, please, even if you're talking about goi stuff, can you please involve me? I'm like, oh, she's already drama, I can tell, she's gonna be crazy this one. I just want to be one of the goi boys. Why won't he make out with me?

Yeah, I'm sensing neediness already, which is great. So, Zhao Zhao is like, I don't know what his deal is. He's like very young, but he's already highlighting his hair really, really like embarrassingly. And he's age-shaving, and he's super mad at contrast for being young,

which is like so housewives, I love it. And he's like, his his balls even dropped. Jake, I'm like, you know what? How about you get your hair back to one tone? You look like like... I just don't like him. I don't like his shit. Like he's already bugging me and only does a smile, but he's a jerk, okay? I'm getting cocky vibes. He's like, so, so Jamie is like, so where you from and he's like, I'm from Zimbabwe. She's like, you la, you la, you la, you la, you la. And then Jamie, he goes,

what are you from? She's like, people don't know where I'm from. Unlike a potluck, yes, sometimes get a carrot stuck in there somewhere. I'm like, what? That's what you're talking maybe about like a giant vegetable stew, not a potluck. A potluck is like everyone. I'm living a half corn. That's Jamie.

Oh man, I keep burping, sorry. I had some kashi before this podcast. I'm having kashi burps, which is really like, I feel like it's, I propose for Adam. So now it's time for provisions, provisions, curing boxes, onto the yacht, because the guests are coming, let's get those provisions. And then they have the stew meeting.

And, Hannah, oh wait, she's like, she tells Casey, she goes, say, Harry, a cocktail skills in case he goes, pretty good, like, like messy jack and cooks Okay Do you know how to make an espresso martini cuz you're gonna learn the hog way Yeah, man, I spas up so Hannah's like look sometimes I'm a bit short. Don't take it piece Like I love day one of work Hannah. Yeah, but but before they've been going people off the boat by their toes Without their we miss I can be a little short people

Here's another thing suddenly I want babies So Adam's going through a lot of food and talking to himself. He's like whoa chicken. Well fish Whoa chicken fish. Oh, just fish. Whoa, this is crazy. Chicken and the sea. Whoa, just because him to And now it's time for the primary meeting. So they you know, they gather to Sandy Adam Hannah To go and a Hanukkahn red can't rent. And a NFL full fan, I got damn it, I'd love that banana fan, a Hanukkahn red can't rent.

So to anyone who is less than 50 feet away, it's time for the meeting. Guess what? Because I know all of you guys are less than 50 feet away. Hey, let's measure how far from here to that coffee can. It's about six feet. How many chances do we get? Four.

Wrong one. I'll give you another chance. So the primaries name is Nishel Gainey, and she owns a company called Like, I'm a Star Incorporated or something like that. Self-Essar. Self-Essar. Self-Essar national. It's a star, but it's so far.

And so I think it's like, so what sort of toys do we have for the guests and comrades like, well, I don't, I resent the implication talking about toys that I'm a young child I'm not a child I don't play with toys, but we do have some flirtation devices including a banana. I'm like, oh yeah, the banana She goes, oh Banana, she's like doing her Italian thing on the banana Sandy in your banana, so Adam's like Adam reads the things that they don't want. They're a question or whatever.

He's like, no red meat, no pork, no chicken, no white rice. I didn't hear no carbs at all. Just have to put that in there because this is a very accurate banana loving podcast. I didn't hear anything about no bowls, you know. So then we have, then we see Brooke and she goes, recently I started to date one of my oldest friends. He's 92 years old. Get it? Oldest. No, but I was like, okay, this is a tried and true below deck trope. The person who comes on the yacht who just started dating someone and then starts flirting and hooking up with someone else.

And then we get endless scenes of texting in the bed, little text bubbles on screen. It's a classic. It is. And they're always nice. They're always like really nice people that you're like, is she gonna cheat? Isn't she gonna cheat? You know, she would never cheat. She's like, it's the first time we've been up all her time.

Like she won't cheat. It's like you need to four episodes later. She's like dancing on a table, you know, like elbows first. Like screaming and yelling. I'm hitting the middle too. I don't know what dancing on your elbows means that I'm going to stick with that, okay? That's all I'm going to do.

It's like dancing on the ceiling. That doesn't make sense either, but we all get it. Yeah, that's not a big deal. I don't know what a whole, what a howe, Lionel. You know, Lionel. Lionel would have danced on his elbows if he could have. So now it's now it's nighttime. They're done cleaning up the boat and everything for the day. And they're all hanging out at the hot tub. It's like Hannah, Joao, and Conrad, and Drollo, we can't believe how young Conrad is.

He's like, you haven't hit puberty yet in mate. Because you're young, you're a young person, you haven't hit puberty, get it? Because young people haven't hit puberty. That's what I'm trying to say. That's how my joke is. Is this not landing right? Is it not?

You were a baby. You were little baby. Like you're 25. Like who are you making fun of? Yeah. Yeah. Leave the children our future. Treat them well and let them lead the way.

So Casey's like, I did. Oh, Jamie, Jamie, man, a woman. I don't know. Carat in the pot. Look is like, should I change in front of you? Is that okay? In case he's like, I did pageants and sell all the girls are naked in front of each other. Like people think I'm dumb, but I went to Stony Brook in Long Island, and I got a degree in psychology. I'm like, you're cleaning a toilet right now. Yeah, let's see your analysis of that. I'm invincible.

I did a pageant. I feel sick. Yeah, by the way, don't say that being a pageant makes invincible on some of the episode Pugay, okay? So now so already it's It's the next morning and Joa like Conrad that they're talking about anchors and stuff like that and Joa was already talking over Conrad He's like finishing his senses just speaking over him. Just like's just like an overhand. Just like that.

Exactly like he does. He literally does do that. It's so obnoxious. He's like, well, here's what I'd like to see first. And Anka coming up. And then you put Anka coming up. Then you put it like that on the rolly thing. And then you put it on the rolly thing.

Rolly thing. Like shut up. But this is also a traditional part of below deck. There's always someone like that on the deck crew Every single season remember that guy who was like the Abercrombie model. So he claimed. Oh, he was the worst the hair model Yeah Abercrombie hair. Yeah, he was so he was the best one He was the model who got fired in like two seconds. He's shame Nico for his tattoo

So anyway, so then we see Casey trying to figure out how it both works. And she's like looking at an iron for the first time. Like, what? It's just the weirdest toaster I've ever seen. I love this so. They're like, can you iron? Nope, never done it.

You're hired. She's like, I love, she lives at home still. And she's like, I love waking up to my parents saying good morning princess Like that is so cruel to remind us that princesses long Island is no longer on TV. That is so cruel I know but at least they're trying to make it up with this girl She's reading the instructions on my iron. Okay. She's like I've never done laundry like I need to prove to myself that I'm not the princess Everyone thinks I am I mean I am So the guests are coming in 30 minutes and Adam goes I need to put pants on

It's usually good. That's usually a good prerequisite. I would say so There's like a little epilette moment where where Jamie and Casey are bringing the wrong epilets and then finally Nishel arrives and now the episode really starts now kicks in because you know some episodes of Blow Deck It's all about the crazy shit that's happening behind the scenes, but there are some where it's like fucking gas fucking gas. These people are horrible human beings. Okay, every level one of them is everyone So so bad so basically Nishal arrives with a bunch of ladies They go on the typical tour, you know, I love me a yacht tour They're like owing and I and they're like oh these ladies seem nice. They're nice. They're nice You know that one like this like you know, she's like a chain smoking alcohol,

like she's got like this terrible red hair. And everything she says is hilarious. It's basically running on a boat. Okay, it's lady, lady version of running on a boat. She's like, ladies, you gotta take a bath on the boat. It's such a rarity. Ha. Ha.

Ha. Her name I think is Erika. It's AR, AR, C-A, which I'm like, is this just like misspelled Erica, but I think it's Erika. Yeah. So they're, so you know, they get on it. First everything seems fine. There's the typical like, oh my god, like reverse docking drama. Like, it's hard to take a bow down because it's like narrow enables etc but they get off fine everything's fine and then the ladies are you know get up to the deck where they're just gonna hang out have drinks and shawls like can I get some nuts do you have any nuts can I get some nuts

do I get nuts these two started or these five started with their nuts it's like they walk right on the boat they're like you got nuts okay we'll get some nuts we need nuts all right we'll get you some nuts. We need nuts All right, we'll get you some nuts Where's our nuts? And then they all start freaking out about nuts and then Hannah goes well, I'll bring you a fruit plate and Yeah, I mean admittedly I would think that probably I Guess I the staff probably did not realize how urgent the nuts were But you know but maybe the nuts should have been there within five minutes easily, but it's one 12 and I'm just like,

where are my nuts? Where are my nuts? And the thing is that Casey at this point now is C6, so they're down as do, so they can't get the nuts. And so then the red head's like, all right, all right, all right, let me show you how to do it, okay? All right, Hannah, can we make sure we have some of those? Make sure that last is your 10 and two and also hashtag nuts. Nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts.

And Hannah's like, can we get some cheese? Crickets and nuts. Like if I hear nuts one more time, like this show has made me resent my nuts and F. Okay. Yeah. made me resent my nets and F, okay? Yeah. So then meanwhile, while the big nut controversy is going down, Conrad and J.Hour over like the anchor and Sandy was like, yeah, make sure it's green when it hits the water because you know, we learned from last season on below deck med that there are different colors on the rope of the anchor.

So Conrad's like showing how to do it and Joe Joe I was like yeah, this is what you got it You got to do this in line and then you don't be blue in the water. He's like no, it's supposed to be green you Fucker Joe. Oh, it's one man. It's one man. It's just example. I'm like, okay It was just an example of a color that's actually on the fucking anchor that you're gonna make somebody mess up You idiot shut up highlights. Yeah, so then we cut to the gruff lady lady Ronnie and she's like hey excuse me can we get someone upstairs to make sure our glass attended which is not right and we need protein have you noticed it's always a totally out of shape asshole who's saying how much they need their fucking protein I know and they're like you

know it's been 20 minutes since we've asked for our nuts. It's really only been 16 and then at 23 minutes, is there an intercom system? Hello. I mean, at that point, yes, that is a long time to wait for some nuts, but also like how badly do you need those nuts? Like what is happening to you? Like if you don't have those nuts, are you going to like turn into some like, they're going to turn into them. They're going to turn into them. This is what happens when you get known at, okay?

Trust me, it's something that's gone, who's gone without it for a long time, okay? Go without it and then you do, you know what people are like, just get laid. I can, I can attest to that being truth, okay? You can't say that to ladies, because it's totally misogynistic. But as a lady who doesn't get laid very much,

you know, sometimes it just need to get laid. Lady Rhonda. I just feel like, I mean, if it had been 25 minutes since I had asked for nuts, well, here's the thing. If I asked for nuts at 10 minutes, I wouldn't be like, where's our nuts? I'd be like, oh, I wonder when those nuts are coming maybe. And then at like 20 minutes, I'd be like, okay, I'm like, ready for my nuts. But I'd be like saying like shitty things, but I wouldn't be like, we need our nuts immediately. We're nuts, you know, it's like calm down.

I've looked at it like an airplane where you don't get shit for 30 minutes, okay? Just sit there, turn off your fucking phone, and wait until I bring you your crackers in case someone is allergic to a peanut. Yeah, and also request something more ambitious than nuts. How about that? You're on a yacht. Yeah, aim higher, Lady Rhonda. I mean, like, Ronda is already a lady. It's basically Ronda, who are we lying? Yeah, she's like, can you get some nuts down here immediately? So finally, Brooke brings out some salted peanuts and everything. And then they're like, is that all you have?

Do you have any like honey roasted or anything? She wanted almonds. Like, you that all you have? I wanted honey roasted. Yeah, you're really upping the class game. These ladies just came on here to be total assholes. And they're gonna be assholes no matter what they do. And you know, they're doing a great job on it. Well, they're ladies, you don't know. They, first of all, they're totally unrefined.

And they think they're, they think they're very refined. They're the sort of people that go to surre and are like, now it's this. It's a fancy restaurant. Oh, you know, honey restaurant. Yeah. So, um, so now they're like, so now things have come down. They're having their knots and everything. The anchors drop. Come and bitch. Come the fuck down. I love the Hannah's already ready to stab someone with a peanut. I can

guarantee there are no nuts coming for these ladies at all. Not anytime soon. That's immediately nuts like protein. Yeah, we need the nuts, give me the nuts. And then another one goes, she's not doing a good job. And then Hannah's like, he's your nuts. And they're like peanuts and wah-oh, weirdy said that. I just wrote Honey Roasted 20 times. This episode is triggering me.

I mean, admittedly, Honey Roasted Peanuts are my favorite peanut, but if I just ask for nuts, I'd be perfectly happy with just regular peanuts. Like, it's just, you know, like, don't accidentally, like, you are, like, in the bell appaq asking for, like, a peanut service, which I don't even know what the things that I'm saying. I don't even know this makes sense, but I'm just like, you're not fancy, ladies, okay? Just eat the peanuts, okay? You're lucky that I bet there were cashews I bet they got cashews and they were like what are these weird sweet curvy nuts I'm like those are even more expensive

You know they probably like macadamia nuts remember when we went on that macadamia nut thing We're like what a waste of a nut someone texts or tweeted as someone's like that is the most expensive Not of all time. So I just would like to thank you guys for extending my net knowledge. Money can't buy you class. So guess what? It may be an expensive nut, but it's definitely not

the classiest for us. Oh, OK. Well, there you go. I stand with Ben. Yeah, I think, well, actually, I think the most expensive nut is a pine nut. Tuck. Tuck.

A pine nut. You've ever tried to buy pine nuts in a store that cost like $45 for three of them. Yeah, and they're not that great. So, I like them. But I'm just going to pinemouth. Pinemouth? Oh, is that waxy mouth? It's pine, it says this thing, it's like a syndrome that you can get after having pine

nuts where everything tastes metallic and bitter. They don't really know what causes it. They suspect it's from, because a lot of pine nuts come from China now and they suspect that I have to do with Chinese chemicals. As this pine nut you're trying that, okay? Tell me right now. Okay, it's still yellow.

It's still yellow, and the lady Ronnie says another hilarious thing. So this big terrible, they're wasted already. Yeah, they're having lunch now Yes, so she's like I want me know the people she goes I'm sorry, but that is such an obnoxious piece of maritime architecture Oh, yeah great Suddenly we have the editor at large from architectural digest on board editor at large from architectural digest on board. Suddenly she has a knowledge of what other yachts look like. I think actually, as a fellow pontificator, I would actually think that that crazy yacht

from last season of Bloedeck Classic that had like the three giant mass. That is more of a obnoxious piece of maritime architecture. The other one was just a yacht. Yes, while it was a fucking hideous boat, it's like one of the old Robert Goulay boats that they would have been on in the past. Well, it was so basically it was like a 10 story yacht. It was a giant giant yacht. And so they see it.

And basically these women, they are not luxurious women. This is like, they just somehow scrounged together that they were money to go on this trip, you know, because you get like a, when you go on below deck, you get like a discount, like a really steeped-to-scound, but it still costs a lot of money. And so they're like, okay, we're on a yacht, so we're gonna act like we're really rich. So let's go for a hospitality visit. Let's get on the tender and do a hospitality visit to this other yacht because we're all yachts.

We're like new rich friends and everything. It's like, I don't think this is a thing. I don't think that's what happens. Yeah, who doesn't want a boat of like out of shape 50-year-old drunk asses coming towards them? Hey, the service checks. Yeah, she's like, what's her face from the office? What's the name of the red hat up from the office?

Oh, I didn't watch that one. I don't I don't like the thought of work I feel like this is not funny to me. Um, you say office. I'm like, no, don't make me go So anyway, so meanwhile Casey's barfing in a box upstairs and Hannah's like a stew that gets sick and see sick and pithic with it Just what all I need just what all I need. I just forgive her damn it Sandy with it just what all I need just what all I need. I just forgive her. Dammit, Sandy. So the ladies get on a tender and they're going to go husband shopping at this giant yachts. They they motor over to it. This is like a huge yacht that belongs to like a Saudi chic or whatever. They're the Saudi chic whatever like whatever there's like there's like like Islamic writing on it. There's an Islamic Arabic whatever. I'm being ignorant whatever the point is

God, I love a flounder. This is a yacht Whose owners are from the Middle East and these ladies just come up as these people probably like own countries like they are so so rich and Sorry, yes, yeah I'm sorry. Yes. Yeah. I beg you for the new. I'll get that. And then these ladies come up thing they're just going to get welcomed onto this yacht.

I'm like, do you know how many men with machine guns are probably on that like bodyguards? You know, like, it's so good. She goes, hey, we've got champagne. It's a good bottle. And he goes, absolutely not. And then the, the then the Michelle's like, let's just go back. Let's just go back.

They go, well, they try to go to another yacht and that doesn't work. And they're going back and forth, like a little tiny boat of dumb Americans, you know? And it's just humiliating and I'm on Tinder. So they come back, they bring the Tinder back and I'm on Tinder. So they come back that bring the tinder back and fire Island dude is like tying the tinder up. And so then Arika the redhead is like, all right, here's what you got to do. No, you got it.

You got to put on the pressure. I know better. I know better. He literally says I know better. I'm like a butter. It's hard for me. She's really high. I mean, you really know what you're doing. And I'm a real boat person.

But, LeCaptain, that's a female. She's the tits. I'm like, you know what? Just because you've gone on the jungle ferry in Disney World, like 10 times, does not mean that you're a real boat person. Yeah, just because you tied one on, doesn't mean you should be tying ropes to dox

You sit down God, so Hannah's like um lady Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie Jamie. Shame shame check on the girl She's like, okay, would you like to help because the other girls bar thing? She's like, do you hear me again always and my boy or my girl, and my seer or my boss in no baddy nays, but all do it. Yeah, she had this whole thing of like, this complex about, on her previous boat, she was both the stew and the deckhand.

And now, being the deckhand, being asked to be the stew, she's like, this is bullshit. I thought it was setting up to be like, this is what I do, I can do bit. That's my skill set. Ben said she was like like really mad about it. I'm like, settle down. You're just putting forks on a table. Oh, so we get our first gross flirting. Well, to me, it's gross to speak as I know what's coming.

Ciao, ciao, J. Wow, ciao, ciao. What's her buns? Nice girl. Emma, not Emily. What's her name? Sorry, everybody. Brooke Brooke set the table with glass rocks and runners. And it looks really nice. So of course, here comes highlights. And he's like, did you set that table? You serve little doughnuts? Like I sure did.

And he's like, that rock's at a place. Hey, got it. Yeah, you were just. We call it Zimbobway Touch. Get a hat. Get a hat. So now the women arrive at the table. The red head is still wasted. So now they the women arrived at the table. The red head is still wasted and she's just mouth breathing at the table. She's like I hate

peacocks. You can't even eat them. She goes, mom, mom ate them when she went through menopause. I was like, did you really just say that? I thought she said mom got them when she went through menopause. Oh, I she said her mom got them when she went through menopause. Oh, I thought she said mom ate them when she went through menopause. I mean, I wouldn't doubt anything that came out of this crazy woman. Who says like eight prox peacocks because you can't eat them? Yeah, I mean, you could say you hate them because they're vicious birds or they're just like too large, but because you can't eat them.

Like so. She's, she's, she's very, her tastes are very tied into her survival instincts. You just cannot make up with like this, okay? Yeah. So Adam's like, I am so positive because it's the first episode of the season. And they said they like Italian. And what's more Italian than a crazy? I'm like, okay, Italian American. Yeah. Well, you know, at least he's trying to stay on brand this time. So Hannah's like say we'd

Anyone like any bread and a rica's like I don't eat bread and I was like all right, then I'll just go into the back and get you a giant Bag of nuts. They all make you hippie. Want it? Peacock brain. Seated peacock. Peacock goods. You're happy there with some notes in it. How about that you bitch? This is why I had to stop being a waiter at the and I see why Hannah saying like you know Maybe I'm too old for that because at some point when someone like that's like I don't eat bread Yeah, get too old to not say yes you fucking do yeah Exactly like we see how you're putting up that chair and the thing is that like this one wasn't like oh no I don't eat bread. Thank you. She was like I don't't eat bread. Like you should know that. I am the guest. I am fancy

You are trash ma'am and I hope your mother enjoyed eating 4 p.cats, okay? I hope your mother enjoyed eating NBC while she was going through minipause She needs to take an obnoxious Architectural Travesty of a yacht over to shut up mountain and take a seat next to Patrick from Vendipram Brails Yes, so Adam he is serving for the very first course over the for dinner the yacht over to shut up mountain and take a seat next to Patrick from Van Pemperals. So Adam, he is serving for the very first course for dinner. Dinner, our first dinner on Blutek Med, you know, he's serving all brands, you know.

I love a good brand, you know, I can't believe he served this. That is one of the bonniest fish. It is, you know, some of the nastiest ladies. I cannot believe we didn't hear a, there's so many bones. Ooh, so many bones. I know. Well, maybe he was doing like filets or something. I don't know what it is, but he was serving it with pasta. And it arrives and the red head goes, well, I was in a bowl.

Well, I was in a bowl. Bitch, have you ever actually eaten pasta? It's supposed to be in a bowl. And then the other lady, you know why? Because you're supposed to swirl the pasta against the side of the bowl with your fork. Yeah, dirt. And this other lady's like, didn't we say no starch?

No, you said no white rice. This is pasta, okay? Yeah. And then she's like, what is this dog food? But did you notice the season opened with that lady going, another lady going, wait a minute, your mom shot a zebra and she goes, yeah, it's on the floor of the living room.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, great work. Yeah, she's like, I'm sorry. My dog eats food like this. I'm like, your dog eats brand zini over what looks like delicious pasta. Because actually, I was looking at it. I was like, I want to eat this right now.

I had like a creamy sauce on it. I was like, this looks to die for. And she's like, my dog eats food like this. My dog, yes. Yeah, you're a horrible human. You probably eat dogs. She's a horrible human being. And if I'm on Adam's side, that proves it. Yeah, and're a horrible you you probably eat dogs. She's a horrible human being and if I'm on Adam's side that proves it Yeah, and some lady goes this should be seven star service

I'm like what part of you getting a dinner on a yacht is not seven star service Yeah, she's an asshole and then they're not then another lady goes yeah, I can actually make this I'm like yeah, go ahead go make a brand you know go make a brand you know put it on some spaghetti. Do that. Yeah, I dare you. And then they all start glomming on. And she's like, this isn't dinner. This is lunch. Okay. We were shocked. Well, because, yeah, well, because when a reek is like unacceptable. And so Hannah, Hannah comes over, is like, is everything okay? And Nishal says, this is not a dinner presentation and Arika goes, I don't eat out of a bowl. I'm like, you know what, not all bowls are doggy bowls.

Okay, it is actually pretty common to eat out of a bowl. Like how do you eat your soup, bitch? How do you eat your soup? You want it just to be like a nice layer of it on a plate, you know, like what the fuck, you don't eat out of a bowl? I've never heard such a. She's the trashiest. And so she goes, so Adam, is this when they bring up Adam?

Okay, so they bring up Adam. I mean, he's dealing with them really well, right? And then she goes, he gets, can I make you something else? She goes, I'll just have the grilled cheese with truffles. I'm like, really miss non bread eater. Yeah, well before grilled cheese with truffles. Okay, so before we get to that though, so there's still more complaining You're like is this when the Adam part is I'm like actually like okay, so the Adam part

So she stands up and she's like I mean get unfortunately the staff is lacking I'm like there's been someone waiting on you bring you nuts you stupid fool and so Adam comes outside and He's like hey ladies and before he can even say like, what's wrong, the red head goes, I hate the food, it looks like slop. I'm like, it was a beautifully plated piece of Branzino over pasta with a lovely sauce on it. Well you're saying it looks like slop.

And then the shell goes, you know, the taste of the food is good, but the presentation for dinner is more like lunch service. We were shocked. Like, what? So, so wait. So the issue is that you didn't like it in a bowl, so you're calling the chef up to yell at him.

This is, it was so beyond crazy. Yeah, and she says we were shocked about it. And then a rica goes, never bring another dinner in a bowl. Never. And then, and then this, never bring another dinner in a bowl, never. And then, and then this, I think it was her worst enemy is Captain Grinch. Yeah, and then some other lady goes, I want something where I'm like,

ooh, ah, like you got Brandzino on pasta. So then yes, so Rika's like, this looks like slop. I want grilled cheese with truffles. That would be fine Which is what you said which is like bread and fat fucking idiot. So Adam Yeah, I was like nice dinner. You just complained that like lunch and you asked for a sandwich. Do you realize that? So then Adam goes back to work and then every time they cut back to this lady, it's a hilarious line She goes I think workers are the most exotic flowers lady, it's a hilarious line. She goes, I think gorkas are the most exotic flowers. Like, the last thing I wanted to think about is you jerking off to a

market. So then they cut the atom and he's making grilled cheeses and tuna steaks. Yes, because some of them wanted another piece of fish, some of them wanted grilled cheese. So these ladies who did not want a lunch presentation are asking for like very lunchy things. And so then Hannah, he's like, you know what Hannah, can you go upstairs? Can you just confirm? I don't want to mess it up. Confirm. No she was. Because she's like, they wanted grilled cheese and she's, they want to cheese grill those ladies. They want to cheese grill. You know what? I'm going to have to triple confirm. And he's like, whatever. So she goes, that's just, I heard that you wanted to cheese

grill just to confirm. And then the lady goes, can you make me spugatti? I was like also a fucking carb. A carb and also what was in your bowl. It was in your bowl. Fucking moron. Did you see what you were served originally?

You like, these are like some of the stupidest people I've ever seen on below deck. Like I hope that they are shamed. I hope people are like pointing at them. I hope they all can like fired or something And then that lady is like Hannah. We want to make sure the glass is stay full I was like how can you with that trash monster next to you? Yeah, like like I love it these women saying I just want something that's gonna oo and amy

Can you make me a grilled cheese? Can I just have a can I just have like some spaghetti? Can I just have like Some tuna stick. I just want to be ood and odd by that. They're so gross. Yeah, and the show is like, you know, we're here for a great vacation. We're not here to complain about every little thing. I'm like, so what things have you not complained about? Okay. So then they show some more cooking and poor Casey barfing some more and then they cut back to you. it's time for Lady Ronnie to have another drunk line because I'm just a fish. A fish is learning to swim. Hey, you know where you know where you can find fishes in bowls. Fish balls. I know the plural of fishes fish not

fishes. Oh, God. So ahi tuna and grilled cheese for the woman who doesn't eat bread ever so chow chow and And coin who's coin oh Brad they I'm sorry. I'm just remembering when you you said it like three times But it didn't really hit didn't like sink in with me That she ordered a grilled cheese sandwich when she had previously said I don't eat bread to Hannah like for some reason only now So again, what a fucking idiot? She's an idiot. She's a pig trash person. I don't mean pig fat. I mean pig behavior So it's fitting that she wants a truffle because you know, that's what pigs are good for

Trash you are trashy like she is trash nothing but trash So at night time they're going to bed no one's jerking off yet Whatever day one I love when they all, when they catch them and like the little, the little blanket tent jerk off. We can at least want a season and I'm on the lookout it is. Yeah. So now yeah, Joe wow, and Colin are treating notes on the girls on who's hot, like whatever. And then it's day two of the charter and they actually wield out the old summer house interval music, whereas there's like a summer house song where it goes,

dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Uh-uh-uh. And I was like, I love that song. Have you noticed that the girls, it's like the guys are always talking about the girls, but they never cut to the girls in the bunks being like, oh my God, do you want the guy with really bad 40 year old dad highlights or the fairy captain from fire island what about the guy who doesn't grow hair on his face sorry it's good back so

but don't but don't don't so hey that's like well I guess if someone is so physically sick that you can't do a job, I need to find someone who can't. I'm like, you're not being a bitch. Like, you literally need someone who's not going to be barfing on the water. Yeah. No, it makes sense. I mean, if this girl's going to get seasick, it's not really even her fault. I mean, you can't blame someone if they get seasick.

You know, I mean, maybe she should take some drama. I mean, it's a little drama, you know what I mean? But, you know, they may have to get rid of Casey. So guess what? A thunderstorm is coming in, which is not going to be good for Casey's seasickness and definitely not going to be good with these ladies because you know, Michelle will be like, I'm sorry. I'm here on a luxury vacation and I did not request a thunderstorm Not now if it was raining that's and you know read how to be like here's what we're gonna do We go out in the deck and we're gonna hold up metal poles and that way that sends the lightning to the other part of the ocean She rediscoveres electricity She's gonna claim it. I found something. I put a key on a kite.

So then this lady, the main lady's like, well, I was waiting for everyone to get to breakfast so I could address the group. I'm like, okay, Joan Collins, you're all fired. Like, should I hurry? I'm gonna talk to the captain because everything was wrong and it took away from us having a good time. I mean, when was the last time we sat around complaining about bowls?

I mean, we said we said no carbs. They gave us no carbs. Then we said grilled cheese, they gave us grilled cheese. And we said no noodles, they gave us a spit out, they because we asked for it. I'm like, you people are like ridiculous and I hope you get thrown off to fucking butt. I know. The thing about the bowls was the worst. Like, we've like no more dinners in a bowl like the fact that the bowl is taking away from what you perceive as luxury. I mean what do you want? You want like a plate with like Bert and Ernie on it? I mean this is just it's

that's probably this actually assault it. Lady Ronnie would like be rubbing it all over her boobs. So I find it's the Rodic plate as the ones that have burdener and he on them. Unibrow. That's what I'm on. So the lady goes up to Captain. She has good morning, Captain Sandy. A couple of concerns. First of all, you don't just walk into the fucking upper deck

or whatever they call it. The captain's room. Who are you, ma'am? She's probably pissed that she couldn't wear her shoes around on the yacht, too. You know, that's probably part of it as well. She's like, she bought new new pumps, new kittens. You said, do I take off my shoes? Yeah. I don't know. I think she's just

surrounding herself with assholes. So she's just like being an asshole. So it's like, she goes a couple of concerns, Captain Sandy. I'm not having a good time. And she's like, really? Show me on this banana where Adam hurt you. That was the cliffhanger. But yeah, you're right. This is, this And she's like really show me on this banana where Adam hurt you That was the cliffhanger, but yeah, you're right. This is this is clearly a case where You have a complainer and it becomes contagious You know some some groups you have a complainer everyone's like let's stop hanging out with shendee But like in this case It's someone complains in the all turn and now they're all just like furious

there's bowls there's not enough nuts they are serving us bread when we don't want bread we do want bread send back this pasta now I want pasta you know these ladies it's like blue it's like one little sneeze on a train and then a whole half of countries like suffering, you know? Yeah, exactly. Exactly. It's a bit of a spread, which is why I'm only giving you 18 times ladies, okay? Yeah, no, they're just, they're like uniquely awful, and I'm glad this is on TV, because now people will always be able to see how awful they are.

Yes, God, especially, you know who's gonna be the happiest that poor zebra rug is gonna see this on TV and be like, God, I told you that girl was a bitch. Well, it's probably those Zebras family that like submitted them for the show. They're like, they're going to see America will see how awful these people are. They killed, they killed Johnson. And now a revenge. Well, at least there's another one.

Johnson and Johnson. Some of them say it around the company. I hate Johnson and Johnson. He can't even eat their products. Now bring me some lotion. She's like gusling it. I don't use lotion. Well, that brings us to the end of another water work rapins. We will be back tomorrow with some real house western New York City. Okay.

Oh, me time. Go get some tickets for water work Rapins life. Yeah, it's gonna be a great time. Whatever city you're in, whether it's the new cities or the ones that have been on sale, go get tickets, we promise you, it's gonna be a fabulous show.

That's gonna be a lot. You guys, thank you so much for being here. Ben, thanks so much for being hot. Bueller, thanks so much for not barking. Sure, thank you so much for being soft. Paper towels, thanks so much for cleaning up spills. Everybody, we'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about

yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.