Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Irish Car Bombed

Episode Date: July 19, 2017

Chef Adam loses his pre-made cookies when he finds out about Malia’s double cross and exposes her iCloud to the crew. People are just mad at Malia cuz she’s hot, ok? Enjoy! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content,

become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Watch what crap ends would like to think its premium sponsors me a handsome low-hawk Kristie Dowerty just saying Kelly Barlow and Cindy Gerson We love you girls Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on you Braves our money carom from trash talkTV and the RosePrix Bachelor podcast.

And here I am with the gorgeous and talented Ben Mantelkov, the beside blog and the Banta Blender. Has it go in, Bean? Oh, I am just great. Thank you. Has it going with you? Good. Tonight's our live show in New York.

New York's new. Oh my god. It's finally here, our 500th episode. Can you believe it? I can't believe it girls. No. It's madness. We are I couldn't believe it because I was putting a cigarette out in the sink because for the 500th episode day I'm gonna be as professional as possible. Yes. By not finishing the cigarette right before we started the show instead of I lit it okay Yes, we're so excited for tonight's show we tried to get Luanne to come and we were actually very close I feel like but as

Turns out Luanne is doing watch what happens alive tonight at the exact same time that we're doing our Whatever the way I was doing watch what happens live tonight the exact same time they were doing our show whatever what could hey but at least we got a response hey response from people louand just drew a line in the sand all right in the abiza sand bitch it's the line it's the line she'll walk up to with plates of ex alifron says we'll re scurry away couldn't you have made this line a circle I mean it, it would have been considerate. Not what I'm married. I don't know, I just thought I'd get the best spot in the sand. I don't know.

I just got married. It's came up from Palm Springs. I just seems rude. Oh, guess. So yeah, our live show in LA is on Labor Day weekend. It is September 2nd. It's gonna be our biggest show yet. We're so excited.

We're going to have a really fun weekend planned of bar hopping and stuff like that for people that travel in. So get in here, get a fun hotel. Let's do this people. Yeah, that's going to be an absolutely amazing show. That show is going to be our biggest one yet. And we're going to be recapping Scary Island, a classic, classic Bravo episode. One of the most famous episodes in all of reality TV in general. Yeah, so come to that. You can find tickets over at watchwetcrapins.com.

There's the link up there everybody. But today is time for do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I like that theme music. I think they should use that instead. It's sort of like I'm imagine the yacht being swirled into a world pool like psychedelic world pool into another dimension. But you need to add the sound of the Incher's dragon. Oh God. Anchors are dragon not safe That's why I'm the captain I like that the girl gets mad at the captain for the wind what an episode what a stupid lady You know, this is actually a particularly exciting episode because There is an old lady that I know And I just encountered her on the street and she was having trouble with her Uber.

So I was trying to help her for like five minutes and then I realized she's not even connected to the network which I don't think it's spring-s fault. I wouldn't be surprised if she just wasn't paying for her network whatever. So I got her an Uber and I put her into an Uber pool under my name and I'm currently tracking it during this podcast because If anything goes sour and my Uber ranking goes down, I'm not having it. I need a high ranking. I don't look at my Uber ranking. God, I don't even want to know what that is. I got to tell that one time for eating nachos in the back seat. I was like, sorry. He's like, why don't you have respect for anybody else's car? I was like, I'm not spilling them. Why don't you just say something? I was like halfway through it. I was like, I'm drunk, dummy.

Well, either way, I feel like Captain Sandy with a yacht broker on board, knowing that my precious rating is in the hands of Patricia. Patricia's gonna end up in Croatia. I hope not. What if you could just take an Uber to Croatia? Maybe you could. Maybe there's some sort of ferry service that goes from Alaska to Russia. They're very close. You know, sometimes when we, when I'm watching this show,

and there's so much ironing, I mean, this show there was so much ironing. There was like an episode. There was like ironing in every other scene in this show. And sometimes I watch it and I'm like, why am I watching this? You know, I've said this a million times. I'm like, why am I watching it? Why am I taking notes on it? And then we cover it and it's probably one

of the most fun shows we do. I liked what I like to do is I like to watch it and then stare at my ironing board with three shirts on it. And I think to myself, well, I didn't iron, but I watched people iron and that's pretty much the same. Iron and cry. Iron and cry, cry and iron and cry. So last week we ended with Well-Wedz.

Did you choose a deck hand? So we come back there. And he's like, I don't know about this. I've got a new haircut. I'm ready for a new life, but I don't know if I'm ready for this much power. I've just given up the fall off. Yeah, got that. And sure enough, Wiz is like, all right, then I choose Malia's. And he goes, he's like, I just, I don't want to make it look like on favoritizing here. I'm like, ooh, favoritizing. He makes that sound sexual. And every time Wes is talking about Malia, it really does

sound sexual because the captain's like, all right, well, you gotta let her know that because, you know, she thinks ahead. Oh my God, geez. You know, even the captain is like, shaming as she doesn't know it. And then Wes is like a favoritizing girl. You know, if she messed up and slipped on dick, the captain would have a problem. I'm like, now she's slipping on deck. You know, it's like this show. He can't help itself. Well, she's working balls to the wall.

You know, I just want to say, Hey, Malia, I'm about to come over there. You know what I just want to say, hey, Malia, I'm about to come over there. You know what I like about Malia? She's paid attention to every single detail. She's rather anal. By the way, I have to say one of my cousins in Texas, which I'm sure doesn't listen to this show because it's satanic, posted on her Facebook today, moms. Like, she's always posting like the super conservative thing. By the way, this bitch had a baby when she was 15.

So I don't know how she's like so uptight. But she's like moms. Everything that says teen on it doesn't mean it's innocent. A, since when are teens innocent? Yes. She's like teen vogue. This is an article about how to have proper anal sex. I'm like, well, God forbid people learn how not to get pregnant at 15. I mean if the Catholics had one thing right, it's like anal doesn't count. Okay, but I can't write that in the Facebook comments. And I'm dying. So I saved it so scandalized by Teen Vogue.

Yeah. Well, they should have known that ever since Lisa Love left, it's just not been the same magazine. I know you don't get that, but that's okay. I don't want to talk like I'm laughing because you know it's for the audience. That was for the audience because I know there are people in the audience that know exactly what I'm referencing. It's a Hills. It's a Hills reference. I'm just laughing because you know a are people in the audience that know exactly what I'm referencing. I'm just laughing. It's a hill. It's a hill's reference.

I'm just laughing because you know a teen vogue joke. Malia will always be known as the girl who didn't go to Paris. I'm just gonna keep making the references that you don't get. I actually do remember that part. She went to the airport and then decided not to go to Paris with that stupid boy. Oh no, for that stupid boy, right? For that Jason Waller. Yeah, she ended up staying in town for that stupid fucking I watch that season. Yeah. I watched the first three seasons. I got kind of sick of it with

dead eye Adriana and then also when Heidi just started going crazy, changing her face and started being controlled by Spencer. But now all these years later with Snapchat, I love Spencer again and Heidi looks crazy and now is born again and I just wish it was still on. and started being controlled by Spencer. But now all these years later, with Snapchat, I love Spencer again. And Heidi looks crazy and now is born again. And I just wish it was still on. Well, the MTV is bringing back the Laguna Beach style. And they have a new show coming out called Something Key. I already forget what it is.

But it's Laguna Beach style. It takes place down in Florida. And I cannot wait for it to premiere. Well, hopefully it will premiere not when you're on a boat, because it's very difficult getting Wi-Fi on there. Mm-hmm. Which, you know, that was my very bad attempt to get from anal sex and the hills back to below deep. Please, by the way, a Patricia update. They want me to change the destination.

And I'm like, no, Patricia's going to where she's going. Okay. And you just drop her off. Just do that. Cry outside. That was Kelly Catron's spin-off show. Kill on earth. So anyway, so we're on this boat. We just just chosen Malia as the second deck. I was lead deck hand. No surprise there. I mean, while I'm in dick, she's my main dick. She has a little initiative.

You know what I'm saying? So then meanwhile, I don't know why this cracked me up. But at one point Lauren pops to a door and runs into a woman named Maureen and she's like, hi Maureen, have you decided to have dinner inside a restaurant? Perfect. I wrote the same thing down. It was like this really,

she was like so excited to lock down this detail. Oh my God, I'm taking so much more with lots of belladay. I knew I was destined for this. Hospitality. So down in the kitchen, Shannon, the broker visits, and she's like, hi, do you buy any chance to have a hot oil treatment? Just kidding.

She doesn't even notice that she has the driest hair, you know, this side of Croatia. Well, she's a yacht broker, not a shampoo broker. Well, but that's the thing. She's a yacht broker, okay? It's like when you go to buy a car, you're not supposed to try and sell, you know, be nice to the person who sells the car.

Well, I guess in this case, they're the Jaguar, right? Well, it's more like you're just, you're just, you're, you're trying to cozy up and get the dirt. At least that's what I think Shannon's up to. I'm not even sure. Whatever, you know, yacht brokers, reputation should reputation. We have Yelp now, okay? The average rondole has as much power as

the Yachtbrokers. So don't fuck with me either, crew. Yeah. Cause I will help your ass into another dimension. Okay. So she's like, how's everything going down here? Because I care a lot. I have a lot of rules and power. And I'm also wearing a bright orange with a glitter collar that belongs on Real Housewives of Orange County season two. Thank you. She got it from one of those cast auctions that they do to raise money for fake charities. Yeah, it still smells like Vicki's armpits. Woohoo.

I start charities. So the chefs like, yep, you smell good. I just sent you smell good. And she's like, huh, she's excited. I love a, I love an odor joke. It's an old broker thing. Yeah. So Adams, like with everything going on with Melia, it's really hard to stay focused also because of whatever drugs you're on that are turning your eyes into pinholes. Yeah, I'm... Okay, could be that too. Maybe he's overstimulated with all the plethora of onion options that he has now these days.

Now, there's too many options to make onion soup on the new return. Luminonion. I start onions, Megan. So Wes... Oh, Wes. I just planted a fan. Luminonian. I start onions, Megan. So Wes. I just planted three bulbs. I love that there's a Shannon on this show. I need Shannon in my life at all times. There should always be a Shannon.

So yes, so now Wes tells Melia that she's the lead deck hand, which is exciting. Yeah. And she's like, whoa, whoa. He's like, what do you think about? They she's like, whoa, whoa. And he's like, what do you think about that? She's like, well, I'm honored to make it a race. And they raised just a bit of title. So let me get this straight.

I'm going to be doing more work for less money. Still have to make out with you and everybody's going to hate me. Hey, thanks. This sounds great. What an honor. Yeah. Thanks so much. Thanks so much. So she starts trying to come up with a way that everyone's not going to hate her. So she's trying to justify it in her head. And she's like, you know, this isn't earned title, but it's going to be viewed completely differently by everyone else because they've seen me flirt with Wes, not knowing that

everyone knows that she's made out with Wes. Or everyone knows that she's it's not what I said. I don't know. I don't know. I got distracted because Blake breaking news. Patricia has arrived at her destination and the great Uber distraction has concluded. Thank you very much, everyone. Thank you.

Well, what's those stars? I give five. I know. I looked my rating was at 4.88. If it goes down Patricia, I'm coming for you. I can't imagine what you of all people would have done to get a fraction of a point taken off. I think it's my friends.

I think it's because I had a friend who got in there and was saying racist stuff. Oh, God, you can't get a bat. Well, then you're never going to get hired in this town. Well, I mean, I would I don't say racist Down with her. She kept on saying she's like I don't understand why it's bad to call to call Asian people Chinaman I was like oh good you can't do that You can't do that on television. Yeah, it's like you're not my papa. So

Please be right. You should know better especially because there are Asian people in the super with you. And he's driving in Chinatown. Anyway, stop by the Oriental. Go ahead. I'm sorry. No, I was just saying, if I were first to you, I wouldn't give any racist comments. Can we stop by that oriental rug store? Man, good oriental rug is the chink in my armor. It's like, lady, get out of this car right now.

She should have just stopped and just let her out. I think oriental rug is not, that's not offensive. I learned that in Texas, that that's offensive. I mean, if they're sensitive enough to that in Texas, we should be sensitive to it here Well, maybe I'm wrong and obviously if I am wrong, I apologize But I thought the whole thing is that if you were Asian you don't want to be called Oriental because Oriental is something that you use with objects Oh really? Oh Like a Christmas ornament is orient. No, that's ornamental. Bento rug, but I could be wrong. I could just be, you know, just totally.

Yeah, let's just, uh, let's just like drag it, stretch up all the inappropriate things to say and lose all our listeners. Yeah. Well, we're making fun of someone else's, um, ignorance, not our own. Okay. Come on guys, this commentary on someone else's. So anyway, the kitchen broker has right here or. So anyway, the kitchen broker has right here, or the kitchen broker. Could you just shan in the yacht broker? That's why I be.

So yeah, so then they, Malia finds out that she is lead deck hand and she says this in her title, notes it's a made up title, okay? And so then they cut to Bobby with a hose. So I don't know why that was so funny. But it's just like this really quick shot of Bobby like, he's doing all his hard work not being seen. Yeah, it's like Bobby's the one who's working the real hose and he's getting looked over and don't think we're not getting what you're

saying to us, Nadine Rajabi, producer and editor of this show. Oh shit. We can do hose commentary. Bros before hose, you know, so, um, so then we go to bugs in Hannah. They're setting a dinner table inside, which is some true Lauren still like thrilled to report back to marine. The table's almost done marine. Um, I saw it. I saw it with my own eyes. Glad I could be of service. You're gonna love it, Maureen. You need me, I'll be ironing in the back. Hey guys, do you hear what Maureen said? She said great.

Can you believe it? She said great. Oh my God. You guys, Maureen's making out with her husband. Perfect. Myself. Okay, Maureen. So Bugsy's setting up. She's like putting a table cloth here.

And then he's like, Hello there, Bugsy. Would you like me to help you? Like the kind of stuff you're doing. So Bugsie is setting up. She's like putting a table cloth. Put a table cloth here. And then it's like, Hello there, Bugsie. Would you like me to help you? Like the kindest offer of help after ever. She's like, Ugh! Would you like me to help you, Bugs?

Yeah, but I think I got this now now. So I'm gonna just do this. And then meanwhile in the kitchen, Max is staring into a microwave and Lauren walks by and is like, Ah, you're not supposed to look at a microwave and Lauren marks by it's like ah You know you're not supposed to look at a microwave right? It's gonna not your brain and Max is like Have you heard the way I talk my mind's already been permitted? That's only forgot a fork in your brain

I just want to see what will happen to the piece of metal I put in the microwave You know, I'm like afraid to walk in front of microwaves because like everyone's always expecting me to be the pacemaker. That's a piece of makeup. Lauren, so now we have drama in the catwinds like West, Malia, West, Malia, West, Malia, West, Malia, West, can you hear me? Oh, angs. Or angs. Sure.

Our anchor sanctuary is crumbling before our eyes. West Malia. West Malia. Malessia. Leads to Malia. Leads to Malia. West.

The anchor is dragging the anchor is dragging. Please go make sure to drag the anchor. Adam's not girlfriend. West is girlfriend. So everyone's like, we could drag the anchor and then we'll run a ground. It could be a tragedy. And they're like, what's definitely dragging? And she's like, pull the starboardboard anchor up get the anchor over the bow bird

Do it and everyone's like Tantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantantant came out of your just holds this place down. Oh, I'm not even hot to see the hard work I do. So, over at the bar, you know, Shannon, dry hair, Shannon, it's like, so do you have pineapple juice? Well, do you have cranberry juice? Is it fresh? It would be great to do pineapple juice, cranberry juice, the heart of a baby mouse, possibly the splinter from a foot of an Indonesian homeless baby. You can make that work, can't you?

Because I'm a god-roaker. When I'm only a steer, it's yeah. Yeah. Well, anytime there's anything stressful on board, the producers love to show their guests asking for the most ridiculous things. I love a cosmopolitan with a squeeze pineapple and but no fresh fruit It's like congratulations. You just got the most basic drink. There is no kidding. There's like no vodka you're drinking now It's like awesome rosé

Yeah, that would be easy it makes you long for the day of that tequila slut from last week who is just like Yeah, it's a bubble tequila Yeah, I'm liable to play with that. Hey, let's do the vlog Hey, I'm just all right. I'll have a tequila Okay, that's easy So captain oh captain Nana, what are we gonna say captain Nana? Hey Hannah? Hannah, Hannah could you come to the captain? Hannah, she's like, hey, here's what I got to tell Shannon,

the yacht broker who's very important and who's even making your favorite captain, Captain Sandy Sweat. Let him know that we had to split because of the drag and anchor and we're going back to talk. And Hannah's like, can Boxy do it? Yeah, just tell Boxy to do it.

Well, especially because one of the charter guests, perhaps Samantha, I'm not sure who it was, but someone was getting hangry and was like, I'm just starting to get starving, so, my bitch have more than a piece of celery than I'm gonna. I'm kidding. Yeah, like I'm literally gonna die right now. I'm starving You're not starving, okay. This is a segment called you can skip a meal

Yeah, she is a problem In fact, I actually think she got off well because she really deserved a horrific edit and I think that there was too much stuff going on with the crew for the producers to waste time really making these people look like huge idiots. Also, she just kept saying the same things over and over. She's like, well, you know, like I'm just really disappointed and it's like a real professional. Okay. I just thought I'd be on a beach, my now, but it's like really unprofessional. It's like, what? Oh rather I'm professional. Okay. Yeah. I just thought I'd be on a beach. My now, but it's like really I'm professionals. I go, oh, I'm sorry that they brought in giant ice cubes to make the temperature drop to 40 degrees. I'm sorry they did that to the ocean.

Yeah, it is. I'm professional. Yeah, she's the kind of person to like go to church and ask where the customer service complaint box is. So the guests are all pissy and the hand it tells them. And the broker's like, well, look, as a broker of a yachts, I understand that things happen and safety is first. But you'll have to make it up to us tomorrow, because I wore my litter collared frot tonight. And I was ready to woohoo. So. I was ready to see how you guys did a beach picnic and so far I have not been

able to grade you on that and it's really leaving me very unfulfilled. So you'll have to make it up tomorrow. I'm sorry. So now it's dinner time. And it's just like dinner while I wrote dinner was great. Yeah, I wrote dinner time. And then I wrote night docking. And they're like docking at night. It's like, well, it's hard because it's dark out in the wind.

And you can look, there's a tinder right there or a tinder. And you got to be careful. And oh, no. So usual anchor drama. By what is up with the anchors on this boat? Nothing but anchor drama this season. They're all, I feel like constant. It's like, well, the anchors do small.

What do they put pebbles up the end of these chains? Yeah, if you're an anchor in the middle of the ocean and you're taking people around on the giant yacht, shouldn't it be heavier? Yeah, or longer? Just be better, anchor. Be better. Yeah, be better.

I'm a yacht broker, and here's the lab to say about this anchor. I don't like dragging. So meanwhile, Adam went and talked to the people at dinner and I noticed he was wearing his hat and wearing his apron. Yeah, we had worked that one out at him. And she didn't care, you know, you had one job. Yeah, and she did not care. Yeah, which isn't really helping anybody. So she could not broker. Sorry. Sorry, everyone. Sorry, I apologize for audience. I've peaked. Oh my god, Uber rating just went down. 4.63. What? Trisha. So she

come, the yacht broker comes to talk to Sandy and she's like, well, dinner service was good, but there are a few things I've noticed. She's like, oh, God, was it on the service? I did Adam try to shove them on you and down your throat. Did Adam assault you with an onion? Show me on this little bear. We're Adam tried to shove an onion inside of you.

Show me on the anchor, which is also the little bear, same thing. This we just we just pull this thing up from the ocean. It's a little soggy. Be careful. So you want some my leftover brands, you know, you're still hungry. So please don't tell me dinner was a drag. Did you hear Malia's the lead deck hand? No, okay. Oh, have you not made out with her yet? Do you want to make out with West? Okay All right West. I want you to pick a new dried out hoe

Wisconsin herself a yacht captain or a yacht broker to be your new vice president of Mappin of Mappin a deck You know if you I know you're not gonna any any of those water sports out this this charter but uh you know you can still get a little freaky with Bobby he's got two mouths you know you get your player cards where you get to make out with a little one. You know like we always say on this boat job first. So so stupid. So Shannon's big issue is that there was some towels left over from the previous guests in the master bedroom, which is actually that's actually. Yeah, that was nothing, but well, were they used were they dirty towels because that is something well, they showed a clip of them picking up a towel from the floor and going. We left a tail. So I'm not sure if it was on the floor what it was. But yeah, I guess that is bad, but it could have been just her grabbing ship from the hamper because Hannah gave her a back talk about the boxed watermelon. When she was like, is this made by hand? Or is this original? She's like, what do you mean?

That mean, like, I mean, is it from a box? And she's like, it's an actual watermelon. You're sleeping. You're stealing me. You're stealing me. Since when does ice come from a box? So, um, yeah, so yeah, we can tell that Shannon's is totally full of it because she didn't even comment on Adam wearing a hat and apron to address the guests. But nevertheless, I like when Sandy goes, if Shannon's happy, Sandy's happy. If Shannon's not happy,

Sandy not happy. Shannon's not happy. Sandy wants to see the fucking anchor and the fucking starboard port side bow hole. Damn it. Like when she gets mad, it just starts cursing like a mad woman. I do love that banana though. Got a chance to. Shannon, have you seen the banana? Yeah, that might change your opinion on a good idea. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of

that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of

that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be a fan of that. I'm not going to be sexual every single thing. She's like, it's too bad. I just drank a gallon of water. I don't want to mess up my new hair. It's man hair. That's what they call it man here. Let me ask you something, Melia. Are you still attracted to me now that I no longer have a ski slope in my hair? My hazy metric slant. So now Captain Weston Hannah be a little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more

little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more little bit more a blowjob in a secret hidden place than tonight later. You west, cut your hair again, and make out with one of them. What do you expect them to pour on? You're sitting on the same boat they've already been on, you know? And Hannah's like, well, it's a spoiled day, a tour of the palace. It's not much. So yeah. And so now, yeah, Hannah is freaking out about, just like, the one thing I really don't want is for Sandy to get stressed and so on, micromanaging me. And I now, yeah, Hannah is freaking out about, just like, the one thing I really do

it want is for Sandy to get stressed and so on, micro-managing me. And I just, I love when Sandy, micro-manages, that's my favorite thing. Where's this pillow go? You want to pick up that pillow? All right, you want to put the pillow back down there? All right, why don't you go three o'clock? All right, now why don't you drop the pillow right there? Okay, now there's another pillow.

Why don't you come back this way? All right, now do we have a dust buster anyway? Okay, I see a dust bunny down there. All right, let's do this, Henner. Well, you know what these pillows need? They need a session with Mrs. Miyagi. All right, pillows. I'm gonna show you guys something.

I'm your Miyagi catch a flight. Don't catch a flight. Wax on, wax off. And what are we gonna do right in the center of the pillows? We're gonna karate chop them both in the right place. Boom. You learned grasshoppers. Sandy, you just Karate Choped, Adams, Tuna, Tartara. Oh, is that why it's all over the walls? Actually, I'm calling that a charcuterie.

It's a seafood charcuterie. So, let me clear my throat to make this very important next announcement of the next scene, just getting out of the clear my throat. So Wes has a meeting with the the deck crew finally. Oh no. No, no. Next what happens is that Sandy has to tell primary, the primary, Samantha that they can't set sail. And this is when Samantha really starts getting annoying.

She's like, so no beach. I mean, my hope I thought by now I'd be, you know, cruising and on a beach, but I guess there's no beach. Oh, okay, I guess that's what it is. I'm like, you are still on a yacht, man. And you're a docked in a beautiful city, and you're on the Mediterranean, you're in whatever sea that is, Adriatic.

I don't know, and I don't care, but you should know, and you should just be happy, okay? Be happy, you stupid little bi. I know, and she's like, and but I don't know what to do. Ooh, and she starts crying. She's like, it just kind of sucks. And then Shannon is like, stupid, stupid. Well guys, you know, we were really looking forward to it,

but now it's time to bring out the creativity pressure zone. I dare you to have us tossing around boxes of watermelon granitas. Literally, pressure zone is in. We want a massage. Now are any of you trained in massage? I'm like, what are you? They are like serving you. They are cleaning for you. Now you want them to massage you to lady take a seat and Lauren's Lauren's answer is so good. She goes, yeah, we're trained and booking them for you.

So man, it's probably like now we have to read books. I knew you knew. So we get a tiny little scene of West giving instructions to the crew and he's like, all right, make sure that hot tub is in tip top shape. And then he tells us making Malia Lee dick is awkward. All right, let's sweep some dicks. I'm like Jesus Christ. And I liked Adam's attempts to win Malia back

because she's in the kitchen and she's like, I'm allergic to pomegranate and he's like, Adam actually says, yeah, I think I have a chance to Malia and then he like squeezes pomegranate on her skin and he's like, let's see how allergic you are. I'm like, what sort of flirtation is this? She's allergic to it and you're squirting it on her and then he goes, can I put in your butt cheek? I think is this like the Bobby school of flirtation? What is happening here? Yeah, it's like caveman. It's like I can't have her, so I'm going to kill her with her allergic allergy to plum agravages.

Yeah. And then Bobby goes on a rant. He's a little aww. You know, I've always been rewarded for my hard work. Like, uh, one time I got a 50 cent raise when I was working at a surf shop because my cashier thing was never 10 cents above or below. I got a 50 cent raise that always stayed with me hard work I'm hate to correct you but what makes this even better is that he got a 10 cent raise

I was like where did you work? Were you working in the time of hate of um the pajama game musical? They're like fought saving in a half cents doesn't mean a hiccup a lot. It's like they're gonna ride over seven and a half cents. He got a 10 cent raise been. It's like he was working at that search shop when the beach boys were like in town. You know, what the hell, Bobby? He's like, oh, governor, now I have a night to move to the big city and start my album. Give it to me, every hour, every hour, every week. And that's enough for me to

be living like a king. Just friendly, but they can be the completion of that musical. But John again was was performed just my senior year of high school. But I was not part of the production because after my failure to lead to land a significant role in Oklahoma the year before I swore off musical theaters a dark time in my life. Well, this is when I stayed with those Mormons in Fort Worth at the theater camp, and I was like 12.

And I was the janitor, and all I had to do was sweep the floor, and my parents still make fun of me that I didn't even know how to use a broom. Like, we paid for this whole camp, and no one taught you how to mine using a broom, Like really? I feel like I feel like I get the other camp the only way you can possibly broom is if it's part of like a three-person choreography and you're all grooming together as part of a dance step. Sort of like a orfinany moment. And then you twirl the broom and then throw it to each other. Yeah. Exactly. I think I was doing the Mary Poppins Chimney Sweeper thing.

Where they're like swinging it around and dancing. Yeah, well, how'd that song go again? It's, you know, it's, I don't know. I never saw Mary Poppins, but I did see that scene. I don't remember which song that was. It's like not a good song, by the way. Yeah, it's like the intro to Bert. And I'm like, why are we wasting time with this loser? It's like, it good song by the way. Yeah, it's like the intro to Bert. And I'm like, why are we wasting time with this loser?

It's like, it's like sweep the floor. Go ahead, sweep the floor, or kid, or something. You know? Yeah, it was. It's, yeah, it's a famous song. But it is a really good dance, but it was kind of racist because they were all on black face because they were chimney sweeps.

And I just didn't have a taste for it. I wanted to all be about Mary Poppins and, you know, that stuff. Oh, is it the one that's a chim chim chim, chimery, that one? No, that's a different song. Chim chim, chim chim, chim chim, chim chim, chim chim, chim chim, chim, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. No, I just don't know. I'm a fragileist, a yes, a yes, a dochist. So here's the problem that I've never seen Mary Poppins.

I'm fully lost here. Oh my God, you're not fully gay until you've obsessed over Mary Poppins. There's all sorts of weird songs here. Fidelity, fiduciary, bank. What is this? What is this crazy movie? Are you looking at the movie? And I think that is in the movie, but are you looking at the movie or the Broadway show? Because I think they changed a lot for the show. You know, I honestly don't at this point. I don't even know. You remember that scene where Malia and Bobby are doing the windows?

So they're doing windows and Malia is like trying to soften them up for the news so she's like trying to get to know him because you know Up to this point she's like please stop looking at me please stop spitting at me and please stop hoping that I had land on your deck, you know so She's like so Bobby What was your school like and he's like amazing? Tell you about my 10th set race show shop. She's like yeah, well, I went to a small school My class was only 100 people. I fucked 90 of them. What do I think is pretty good?

I refused to sluts shame and Malia I'm sluts shaming Malia now because I have an up to this point and Malia is officially a two-faced slut now after this episode I will not sluts shame her. I will not sl. You don't have to, but I'm not backing down. Malia acted like she was so nice and we see these texts and she's still leading Adam on the night that she made up or made up with Max in that room. And then she's like, oh, well, you know, I've officially decided I'm not dating Max. Like what did he taste like yogurt? Like why would you decide now? And not only that, but she's like, I hope he can sneak away and like fucking some hotel in Croatia you're officially a two-faced slut okay you're a lying slut and you

were just fucking max for a race um dissenting opinion I think that she didn't know anything to either of them and if a guy can do it why can't a girl and you know I'm lying to girls either on this show we don't we definitely we definitely this show. We don't. We definitely don't, but we don't also drag the way we drag girls. And I'm just saying we as a society. Oh, I was going to say I drag every motherfucker on this. So you kidding? Um, I think what I would, I do think though, it's shady that she was,

that she was making out with both of them. And I think it's shady. She's making out of their boss. I think it's shady that she was that she was making out with both of them. And I think it's shady. She's making out of their boss. I think it's shady that Wes is making out with her. And I think it was irresponsible of him to do that and put her in that position. And I think they're all just not thinking very clearly. But I'm not going to I will know. Okay, let's do strong.

Let was too. Let was too strong. But I did get mad at her in this because even with Adam when she's telling, even when she's telling Adam, okay, well, you know, I'm just not going to see either one of you and we knew that was a lie. I didn't care because I don't like Adam, but I like Wes and even though Wes is fucking the hell, but she shouldn't be doing or not fucking, but you know, making out with the help which is kind of gross and he shouldn't be doing that. But still, I like Wes, you know, so it's like I put the rules aside for him,

but then when I find out, now you're screwing over Wes too, and you're just lying in double crossing. So now what are you doing? Like, why are you lying to both of them? And then sneaking off with one of them. And a hotel room, that means the Adam's actually going to get way more than Wes is getting. And the arm flappy off camera of the, you know.

You know what I mean? Like it's the shade here. I don't like it. Yeah, I think that Malia's, excuse me, I think her biggest fault is that she is not really good at removing herself from a situation that like, and it's not to say that it's all on her. I mean, the West should honestly, West should not have been making moves on her. He's her superior and that's like really bad. And I guess we should arrest the episode. But that, but everyone has a responsibility, I think, in a situation and you want to do whatever you can

to minimize being a weird situation like that. And so you just make out with both of them in line. I mean, come on, she's not making out with Bobby. So obviously it's just not that, you know, the attention she doesn't want to hurt anybody's feelings. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I just don't know. I have a problem with it because those guys,

those guys were very up front with her. They both took her aside to have the talk. And she lied to both of them and is still trying to hook up with both Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court I'm Matt Bellasife and I'm Sydney battle and we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast Disantel each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,

a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood, how much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. To them, it's seek, I mean that's just bad.

Whether you're a man or a woman, that is some shady shit right there. I wish we could see the anchor watch hook up a little bit more because in the past, whenever Wes's kissed Malia, she has not looked like she's that into it and she's just sort of like, uh, so I wish we could have we could have gotten some more clarity on what really happened. I got to watch me because she actually, I agree with you. We asked about all this first two. Yes. It actually does bug me because she doesn't seem like she's into Wes.

But then she's like, well, you know, I'm blowing out of them off for you. And then she's, you know, cozying up to him, but then she's sending secret texts to Adam to go bang him at a hotel. Like the same night that she's... So, yeah, I don't like that. I think she likes Adam, but she's, you know, getting wet as for whatever reason. I think it's super shady that she sent in text the same night that she was making out of the West.

But at the same time, that's one which I could see it. I want to know how much of it was like... Was she making out with him? Was it a mutual thing or was West just like misreading a situation? Well, because that would color how shady I think she's being. But either way though, it's, she has not been terribly smart about creating boundaries if that is the issue. Also, I have to add here, when I ran to Nareve like that,

and I reminded myself as I was watching this too. She's like 23, okay? I mean, on the other hand, she's so young. I mean, who isn't doing this shit when they're 23? I sure as hell was. It's much easier to be like judgy, I think, at my age. But when I was, when I think back to what I was doing when I was younger, you know, I wasn't getting caught by cameras, thank God. We didn't have them everywhere then. Well, I think, I think actually now, now that I'm crystallizing my views and all this,

I think Malia's biggest issue is that she just doesn't lease her Renae on it. She should just be like, yeah, I made it with you Adam and I made it with Wes because I like both of you guys and we're not exclusive and I'm having fun and just deal with it And that's that's what her mindset should be because everyone's entitled to have fun and and you know what if you are Not really in a serious situation then why not make out with the make out with the guys, but then you know You should have the mindset like yeah, I did it. So what so what who cares? She should but not after they both talk to her You know, I mean she did say she was casual, but she still made the other one sound like, you know, you totally have a chance off this boat.

And that's just not nice. I mean, it really doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl. Let's just rude. It is rude, bad etiquette, but West should not have made out with her also because she's a bad etiquette. Yes, that is a separate issue to me. Yes. But like, here's the current issue

Which is that we's has now called the whole Decrew together and he announces that there is going to be a lead deck hand and it's going to be Malia at which pit point Bobby and Max or look each other like um and then whiz is like What I think is actually bad about this is that whiz says whale I have to choose Oli Dickand and there's someone who shows more promise and initiative and that person is Malia. I'm like, yeah, sort of a backhanded way.

We want thing to be like, and I've chosen Malia because of X, Y and Z, but to say someone who's shown the most promise, that's like, not only that, but it's saying. But saying, she's shown a lot more promise and interest in going further Yeah, she's even this is like has sexual Undertones to it like every line I'm telling you I'm not making this to that I was going to go all the way. Yeah, I'm gonna go all the way The one who's proven that she's gonna go the furthest is fourth base Malia. She's dude. She really puts herself out You know so Bobby jutted his jaw

out extra far just to catch his snot tears. Max just does the like eyebrow racing where he's like, oh, you little minks. And Bobby's like, cool, congrats. I'm so happy for you. Mama. He's a guy thought I already was the lead deck hand. And he has like a flashback to his childhood where he was so excited to have his 10 cent raise and he went into the candy store to get a gobb stopper and like, sorry kid, that one cost 12 cents. No!

No! So I got a job breaker instead and this is what happens. No. So down in the mess, Malia is talking to Bobby and she's like, so what if you think about that? And he's like, oh, I think you deserve it. You must your ass. Oh my God.

So, just like me, my head. Meanwhile, good old Samantha, the non-important primary charter, she was like, I can't, like, you you know what if I can't be on a beach right now that I'm just gonna leave I mean that's the point. I'm just gonna fly out early. I'm like you are so stupid So you're basically saying you would rather fly home than be with your friends That's what you're really saying on a beautiful yacht sure you're basically having a hotel on the water experience But guess what a hotel experience is awesome and me personally I was the kid in in like elementary school and middle school that when it rained and you couldn't go outside for recess

I that was like my favorite. I love being indoors for recess. Yeah, I know I learned that there's value in these things It doesn't even matter when I go on vacation because all I care about is a hotel room because that's the only place I am Yeah, like go about is a hotel room because that's the only place I am. Yeah. Like, how's the party in my hotel room? I think that she thought everyone was gonna come with her. She's like, okay, I booked my ticket. I'm just gonna leave. And I think she thought everyone was just gonna follow and it's gonna be a whole big to do.

And everyone's like, bye, bitch. Are we having more fun without her now? Yeah, and they're like, bye, bye. And she doesn't even look back. She just keeps walking. What a bitch. Have fun. If we're not cruising, I've got other things to do.

Like what? Yeah, nothing. And I hope that was one of those girls that got dragged off the plane and united. Like, sorry, we're overbucked. It's like just a worse trip ever. And then she's like, then she's like, I feel like we were promised something that they didn't deliver.

It's just very unprofessional. What can they deliver? What can they, what can they deliver beyond what you got your cookies? Okay, you got cookies, you got, you know, Grenita. What else do you want? You have a yacht. You want, they can't make the weather for you. Lady stupid.

What you wanted an anxious sanctuary. Fine. They didn't give that to you. Anchor, anchor sanctuary. Yeah. see a batch So let's see boring. They go on tour. This was so awkward She's like and this is where the Romans came and Crucified Christians look at that beautiful open ceiling

Wow, this was fun I thought it was like a lovely tour and I thought they're being all unappreciative. Okay. Like I'm sorry that Malia was not having a good time. I'm sorry that she maybe wanted to be doing other things with other people at that time. But you know what though? It's a beautiful tour that that lovely lady who probably had to give up her off day to come and save your asses because you complained too much. You have a message.

Remember those lovely old ladies? I don't even know if they're from below deck or the up blow deck med. I remember they're just like like four middle-age middle-age plus ladies who just hung out like, hey sweetie can I get that for you over your phone. We're just going to read our magazines on bench here. Yeah. Learn from them. Learn from them. Now these feckers wanted to be in their bikinis on TV like jump and get drunk and having fun. And now they're stuck on some tour. Yeah, that's why that woman was mad because she worked out for two months to get into a bikini body and then she doesn't get a chance to flaunt it.

Well, bitch, guess what? Beauty hurts, right? So get into that cold weather in your bikini and stand on that bow. Yeah, maybe you should learn things because intellect is hotter just kidding. Okay, so hot tub on the last day. Shannon's like, if you say no to champagne on your last day of a vacation, you say no to life. But I will say no to the hair conditioner.

Yes. So Malia and Budzie are... She's like Malia and Budzie, I just want to talk to you and she's like, what is it that's what I am? I'm a mother and the first two, come on in here darling. So they go into a room and she's like, you know, it's just like this, this, this, this raise or this promotion I got like I wanted to be because I'm working really hard But the night before that's happened he kissed me on anchor watch and it's like really hard because he's my boss Malia, what are you doing?

You know she's sitting with Wes's best friend that he's known for years and years and suggesting that he's kind of being inappropriate that he's known for years and years, and suggesting that he's kind of being inappropriate, and that he's only giving this to, you know, she's shady this girl, Malia. She is not to be trusted. Like when is she sitting around talking to Bugsy about her? Yeah, I'll say that. Well, I just think it's also,

well, I just also think it's like, you know, as the old expression says, lose lips, sink ships, and guess what, you're on a ship, so bitch, pay attention. Titan up those lips. I think it's funny that I called it a slip, but you're the one who said she has loose lips. So there you go, we're even, even everybody.

Well, it's just one of those things. Well, I'm actually, but it does suck, right? Because, you know, she's in a situation where she's like, it's sort of weird because we made out and I got this thing and now people think of this or that, you know, that's a weird situation to be in. So she's allowed to vent, but unfortunately, let me take it back.

She's allowed to vent and words gonna get around. She has to know that word is going to get around as a result of that and she can't get mad that words gonna get around. And she's so hitting herself, but to me, it looks like she's talking to Bugsie because Bugsie will go and tell everybody we already know that. It's like if you tell me, I know, but Bugsie will she has before. So I think Melia was telling her because she's protecting herself and trying to make herself look almost like a victim in this situation because when she says, I'm working hard, but the night before he kissed me on the anchor,

watch and it's hard because he's my... It makes it sound like, oh gosh, now he's giving me, like maybe it's true that he is giving this to me because I'm cute. And so then it brings in like the possibility of some kind of, you know... Sexual harassment. Yeah, sexual harassment and all of this. And I just think it's uncool. It's uncool to do that, you know, sexual harassment. Yeah, sexual harassment and all of this. And I just think it's uncool. It's uncool to do that, you know, he didn't kiss rape you. And it wasn't the first time that it's happened either.

Yeah, but he does not get a free pass in my book. He does. Even the web. He doesn't even have a free pass. No, I don't. This is what she's saying to Bugsy. Right. But I think that she has a right to feel a certain sort of certain sort of way in and like she's not allowed to tell anyone

That's the whole issue that's the whole issue why we have you know all this you know Sexual harassment laws and and and human resource departments to deal with this stuff because people feel like they can't talk about it Like I know she was the one she was the one who told him look I told Adam I'm not gonna be seeing him and I'm not, but I'm just going to be seeing you But you know like this has to be secret like we kept she's complicit Well, so it's not like yeah, I told you want to raise be sure to keep it quiet It's yeah, and well, I don't think that she was she was saying anything to bugs you like I'm a victim But this is why you have to be smart in situations. And you do have to drop boundaries

because now you're in a situation where it seems fun at the time and now you're starting to see the repercussions for both of them, they're starting to see the repercussions and you just have to be smarter. You just can't do that. Just, you know, like think about things once in a while. I know it's harder. I'm not being smarter.

If you're gonna have this talk, why are you doing it right next to the ironing board? You know who's there. Yes, Lauren. Lauren's like, Ding, ding, ding. And Lauren, she can never resist. She loves, when people are gossiping and she's nearby,

her favorite thing to do is not just sit there and listen. She just loves to announce her presence because it'll be like, hey, listen, I have to tell you a deep dark secret. It's about this guy I once met so no one's seen him in 10 years, but I know where he is because I took out this knife one night and it's all in I said hi guys, here's your ironing. Oh god, she just can't control herself. And she's like, what the WT app? Like that's like if I made out with Captain Sandy, it became chief still. I was like, uh, it's called initiative. Lauren take some.

So Lauren, of course, runs right to Hannah. She's like, oh my God. What is it? What is it, person you chose to say at the ball last time I was trying to yell at people? She's like, um, that right now I heard boxy Emily and they were talking about how Molly was on anchor watching that she made out with wires. Okay. And like nobody can see it on camera, but it's like both um, right now I heard boxy Emily and they were talking about how Molly was on anchor watch and then she made out with wires, okay? And like nobody can see it on camera, but it's like both their arms flopping around. And Hannah's like, we look at that little

Malia. She's caught the hypocrite. I don't know whether to yell at her, boy, her drink. So at nighttime, Malia and Wes hot tub, they're fixing the hot tub, right? When am I writing hot tub? Because that can't be what happened. They must have just fixing the hot tub or cleaning the hot tub or something. Yeah, I think they were overseeing it to make sure it was still filled. And because there was a, they were given a directive, always keep this hot tub hot and running. Because they're going to want to get some sort of some sort of bathing suit action going. The hot tub is the only

can'ts didn't repeat after me. So Malia's like, huh, they're making fun of me. You know, see why I don't want to hook up with my boss I'm like, hasn't stopped you the past five times And Wes is like, well, I've never done this ever, ever. And she said, well, then what happened? And he's like, you weren't to dick. Oh, poor Wes. He was just always battered by his decans. I know. So then inside Lauren, miss, I don't remember the word.

What's that word you use for being on the slide being subtle being sneaky Surreptitious Sneaky let's go with sneaky shorter. Okay. Lauren miss sneaky is like Hey Bobby can you help me with something really heavy? I need someone to help me with I got a load something really heavy He's like okay sure So she pulls him out to the side of the boat just to gossip. And of course, they're like right on cameras.

The rest of the crew is watching as if they're in the head of password. We're on big brother. So good. And she also goes, I really, like, I'm going to talk to Bobby because it's not fair. Like, he's getting the short end of the stick. The show. Sort of like after I put Umptim, how that really sucked for him. I mean, I got the short end of his stick and that's why I dumped him but like it

shouldn't happen to him again you know. So yeah so watching on TV and Emily is like wait what's going on on TV and bugs he's like why is she why is she jumping why is she jumping up and down. What's wrong with her can't she gossip like a normal person? It's awkward. They don't know the but has surveillance cameras. I mean, Mali is like, this is awesome. Oh, Jesus. How much was taken the other day? Oh God. What do I have to cop to? Yes. Yeah. So, uh, so, so then so Lauren tells Bobby and then that's when things start to

Spiral out of control because once you tell Bobby, he's like, oh gosh, oh man. This is not cool So he's getting mad. He's starting to it's starting to the pressure starting to build up in his skull Yeah, Lauren's like, okay, just make sure that when you tell everybody that you say you were just in the cabin and you heard it too Okay, so like you you're in the cabin you heard it like when okay? So like you, you were in the cabin, you heard it. Like when I heard it, like when I was ironing. Cause remember that, like shorter than the stick, okay? And he's like, okay, well let's go separate directions. So they both go, they're so sneaky these two, so subtle. So Bobby's like, God, now that the fire department

won't be there a fall back on, this is my only job. Like now we gotta work for the girlfriend, the boyfriend. You know you can go back to the fire department. I know. It's like you gave up your one chance to put out fires at that volunteer fire department job. Yeah, I think they're pretty much always on the look out for a new fireman.

I think I'm right when I quit the Salvation Army. So meanwhile, so it's dinner time and bugs. He puts out a giant piece of driftwood on the table. So I think Kate Chess Day must have been very delighted by that. Although as we do know, I believe that nighttime is when Kate Chess Day inputs at her her sea glass on the table. Cause I think it's I think it's pebbles in the morning, seashells for lunch and sea glass of night. But I think she would have respected giant piece of driftwood. I think she would I think it's pebbles in the morning seashells for lunch and sea glass of night

But I think she would have respected giant piece of ripwood. I think she would like that. Yeah Sure, she's like wow She probably rolled on the floor laughing like this huh so So there's still stuck deck and so Hannah's like I what to do. I'm gonna use some good old-fashioned Creativity for these youngest people. I'm gonna get some old men who sing opera and ocapella Were the stripper do they have no strippers and Croatian?

I was like what sort of treat is this? It's like the Croatian's answer to the Jersey boys and they come on And everyone's just sitting there like okay like play clapping the one for the year old like I guess the main one the 40 year old bear guys like I'm putting that on my iPhone but the rest of them were like I was sort of hoping Yolanda would show up and go ladies and gentlemen gentlemen, Andrea Bacheli. And then like drag them up from the basement where she's locked them until so time. So yeah, so they're up there. So while they're singing, Bobby and Max are gossiping about Malia downstairs. And the producers are so funny because they they added this quiet audio of the Acropolis group upstairs while they're talking, which you know the microphones didn't pick up, but I don't know for some reason

I was just totally amused that they just made it sound like the yacht was overflowing. Well I should have sucked the back of coke. It's like whoa. So yeah, their gossip being in Max's like, Jesus cross wets. Come here, give me a kiss. I'll take that road. So that's the good. So this is when they sit down to dinner and Adam's like, this is the local

star cutie. I'm like, I think that's a tuna salad. But I'll roll with this. Yeah. Pretty sure that's some oral, I mean Oscar Meyer. Yeah. It's not frozen. It's not frozen.

Uh, Pillsbury, oh boy, cookies. So congratulations. Oh, look, it's the Costco bun cake from the local Costco. So Bobby decides that he's gonna confront West now with Max. So he brings him down and he's like, we heard you and Leo were making it on watch. My mom, not happy. And he's like, it's true.'s true. That's exactly what he'd been

And he's like how do you think that looks? He says I've always said work is work as a separate Bobby's like that's hard to believe. He's like well, it's true You know some people are taking initiative and paying attention and he's like I quit my career Yeah, that's that same thing again. I had just got a 10 cent raise and I gave that up. I could be outside a target with a bell dress like Santa Claus and I said no this year that be on this boat. I was saving up for one of those big lollies and I gave it all up for this boat.

Hey, that lemon in Santa in front of my mom's house doesn't put itself together. I was giving up for one of those big lollies and I gave it all up for this boat. Hey, that lemon is standing in front of my mom's house, doesn't put itself together. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I memorized three streets for my paperboy route. Three! And I gave that up. So, let's just stick to things.

Like, that's it. We've had enough talk about it, Andy's over. And he's like, that's the most unprofessional thing I've seen in my entire life. He's like, that's it. We've had enough talk about it and it's over. And he's like, that's the most unprofessional thing I've seen in my entire life. He's like, well, that's all right. It's over now. And he goes, oh, I guess working hard doesn't mean shit. I'm like, come on now.

It's your second season. You're barely able to get the rope up properly, okay? It's like halfway through the second season. Everybody just comment. Yeah, you struggle with simple math. Yeah, like comment. Yeah, so back at dinner, Hannah's like, well,

Adam's wearing a shift coat. So unhappy. Yeah, and then the Adam hates Wes now and he doesn't even know what's coming yet. But he's like, hey, Wes, if you're just standing around, you could do some dishes. Wes is like, sure, Wes, if you're just standing around, you could do some dishes.

Hmm. Well, Wes is like, sure, I actually locked two dishes. But then after dinner, everyone loves dinner. Everyone's like, oh, this is fabulous. It's so good. Too bad that our friends, the man they can't be here for this. So then afterwards, there's like joke time.

And bugged his like, so if I were first, you aren't asked, why is it hard for lepus to hide? Because they're always sported! I've been handers like... Alright I got Jake, I got Jake. So there's Monkey, he got down, something like that. Don't like that, is that it? If I were Jake, you would never tell jokes again.

Woohoo! If I were Jake, you would always have a punch line, not just a set of hammer. And it's like, I was always trying to take my comedy tour away from me. I don't see what you're doing over there. Why the chicken crossed the road? Why the fuck I know? Forkamedi, he had a perfectly good yacht docked right here. I don't know whether I should cook that chicken I've served it a drink. Knock knock.

Who's there? I don't know why you answered the door you stupid slag. I know your jokes could use some work. You could use some work. There was a joke. If I were safe still. So in the morning, Captain and Hannah, and she's like, it was a success last night. Thank you. And thank you for leaving the come rack on the ground in Shannon's room. What a bitch. No problem, Captain. So Bobby and Max are gossiping again. Oh, no,

now they're giving some. Yeah, Bobby's now. Yeah, he's still complaining and now he's talking to Malia and he's like, I have no problem with your work ethic, but it just sucks because West hasn't seen any of my hard work because he's been all up your ass this entire time, which I believe or not, I don't think that's a terrible. I think they're there may actually be some validity to that. You know, that's what Bobby's been saying. Like, I haven't been getting opportunities. He doesn't pay attention to me because he's like Gaga from Alia. Oh, I think that's all true. I mean, this is the first time in the season. I'm totally pro Bobby because Bobby's done a lot of shit this season. It's been

obnoxious and misogynistic and gross. But he's totally right in this, of course. What's his fucking, you know, trying to get in the pants of his, his crew save it, buddy. And then he goes to raise this disgusting. He should have said, look, Malia, I'm in the position where I have to give some one a raise. We've chosen to flirt the raises and monetary. And I can't give it to you because it's going to make both of us look bad. And I'm sorry to make you suffer for it. But I'm also suffering for it. And I made a to make you suffer for it, but I'm also suffering for it. And I made a mistake and I shouldn't have done that. And we're just going to have to give it to Bobby.

Yeah. And he got very easily been like, Bobby has one year more experience. One year more experience than you are. So even though you're showing so much promise, I'm going to give it to Bobby because he has that experience, even though he can't do simple math. And he spits a lot. But I don't say I do think Bobby has a point, and which is, which is really, it has nothing to do with

Malia, it has nothing to do with Malia, has to do with Wes, and that's why one Wes says you can, he can separate work from pleasure. It's like, you know, you think you can, but actually it really can influence you and it can influence these decisions and what you're looking at. And, but then Malia, this is where I got to know Malia, she's like, oh, so like, I can't be cute and bust my ass. Is that what you're saying? And it's like, no, actually, Malia, this is, that's not what he's saying. He's not taking that away from you.

He's saying that it was really not even playing field. Yeah, and it's not that you're cute. It's that you're making out with your boss. It's not that you're good looking. It's that you're having sexual relations with that Wes. You know what I mean? It has nothing to do with being cute. And then she does it again.

She's like, oh, well, that's a double standard because I'm cute and I can't get a promotion. So you're saying because I'm cute and hot and have a really good butt and the most popular girl for my town of 100 people. It's like, okay, Malia calm down over there. And Max, like, no, for this. Oh, yeah, this is when Wes is like enough of this decision is made. It's over.

And if you don't like it, you can leave. And Bob is like, thinking about it. Hey, let's see. He's going to take out the glass from the next person's face. To be fair, Malia also had a valid point where she's like, by the way, it's like not a big deal. It's just a pat on the back, essentially. And that's's when Bobby's like it's a pat on the back for you But it's a stab in the fat in the back for me. It's like okay relax But I think though that you know

I definitely think Bobby has a point. I think and I think that when Malia says like Bobby was never saying it's because Malia is cute. He was saying it's because Wes only pays attention to her. Well, Malia is kind of a mother thing. Wes Malia knows she's just caught. And so she's coming up with her justification, which is, you're just misogynistic. Which is true, but not in this case. This is not the case to remount that.

And she knows it. But hey, you got to, you know, you got to use any kind of defense you can you know we all deserve a good defense and Max clarifies because he's like it has nothing to do with nothing to do with how cute you are it's that you meet out with the boss you know it's true yeah so well decision is made in that setting if you don't like it you can face a corner just like I had to do dance dance when I was watching dishes instead of putting them in a dishwasher like a rebel. So now we go back to Lauren the most ineligant gossip and she's like she's in the kitchen and she says Adam oh my god Bobby is mad I don't think you want to know the whole story and how I'm going what happened she was um well basically Malia and

West like they may not anchor watch I'm like where to even try to play whole story and how it goes what happened. Well, basically Malia and Wes, they made an eye on anchor watch. I'm like, wait, I even tried to play Koi there. You don't even want to know. Okay, I'll tell you. You didn't even make him like tease it out of you. She's like, she's a gossip slut. She left that gossip. She let's it out too easily. Yeah, she was so excited. It's hilarious watching Lauren space light up like a Christmas tree every single time.

Finally has a purpose She's like those stranger things Christmas lights. Oh, you don't much stranger things And don't regret it. She's like, oh, it's like it's been going all the past couple of weeks apparently. Okay, bye back to ironing and he's like I'm speechless and then Lauren goes this is why I don't kiss and tell I'm like no you just tell them tell You just kiss and lie You just kiss and tell and tell and tell and the captain has a meeting and she's like okay Adam you know congratulations on good food here's 12 grand it's kind of low for this and then we see Adam pacing the boat yes and bugs he's like how's it going Adam Adam? I mean, I've seen Betty Daze and she's like,

Yeah, I am! And I'm not doing much more! Daze it! Get in here, let's make a better day! So then Adam goes up to the bridge where Wes and Mali are hanging out and Adam just starts grilling them in his weird way and they're actually very upfront to throw creepy. He's like my favorite people.

And then he looks directly in the camera like, you getting this? Yes, Adam, the giant camera that's right in front of you guys is getting it, okay? And he's like, so what's up between you two? Just crewmites, solid crewmites. He's like, well, I think we should be honest since we were all making out here.

Get that one camera. Ha, get that one camera. Did you get that one? Yeah, and basically, and so Wesley and William were like, yeah, we made out one, so we just had a mistake, so we decided not to do it again and whatever. And I was like, huh, Melia, why would you lead me on? And then I don't even, I don't even remember what her response was, but I think that it was actually a reasonable question from him, but he can be so like roast and arrogant when he asked those questions. I was instantly on Malia's side.

Yeah, because Malia is really good at avoiding the screen matches. And it's like for someone who's really kind and the, you know, the Costco cookie jar, she really is avoiding the conflict pretty well. And then she just goes, um, did I like you both? Yes. Did I want to make a decision between the two of you? No. I'm just like, okay, you're just going to ask yourself questions now. And so the chef is like, she played me like a skin flute. And then yes, Wes doesn't understand is that there's a whole backstory here and it's going to crush him when he finds out.

Yes, an epic romance spanning three weeks. Yeah, and I think one of the biggest things it's going to crush him is that he has a crew member that had zero experience and had to get a yachting certificate before coming on this show. And so did the chef, which I find kind of odd on this show. I just, I have a hard time feeling any sympathy about, you know, some sort of yacht certification romance that lasted 10 or 12 days prior to coming on the yacht. And feeling like it was the epic, you know, sequel to the English patient here.

Okay, it's like, you guys had a fling and she sort of got over it because you were weird on the boat and there's nothing I was she's into and like so what like get over it is some 40 year old slime ball with bloodshot eyes Who's just trying to bang a 24 year old hot piece of ass? You know what I'm yeah, who's prone to histrionic exits like How do you sleep at night? It's like probably pretty easily. Um, I sleep like anybody who's just come my side. Yeah So Bobby and Max in the room and they're still talking and he's like, can you believe that like he gave a raise to somebody made out with Like okay, Bobby we get it and Max is like, I wonder what the next no So now chef and bugs the bugs he's like, oh just kind check on your sad little man I've never heard someone who hasn't lived today So now chef and bugsy, bugsy's like, Oh, just kind of check on your sad little man.

I've never heard someone who hasn't lived today. It's not the best day of his life. How can we fix that? So then that's what's so Adam's like, I got to, I want to tell you something. Malia and I, we've been dating. We started dating a few weeks before we came on the boat. It was during a certification class.

We had to take it to get on this boat. And he was like, oh, I never heard of this before, but she wasn't like, whoa, my God, that's crazy. Because it's not crazy. You guys knew each other for a few weeks before the boat. Let's like, literally the most benign secret of all time. You've been wanting to think if you guys

have been boeing for five years, and almost got married. That's one thing. But you met a certification glass. Agreed. You're just like, say then what? He's like, well, then, then we hooked up. She's like, and then what?

Like, but then we tried to keep it. Us has. She's like, then what? And he's like, I thought I had a little hook in her, but I was wrong. She's like, well, now that's what to do with fish at him And I hope you don't have a hook in her because then she'd be bleeding. He's like, well, I got to save my own face here She texted me and then he whips out the text. This is the season of really this is the season of text evidence So then he reads the text. Did you take a screenshot? I did not I did not oh, we're terrible detectives

Well, I mean it was just like Meet me in Croatia. Yeah, she basically said like we were like I was going off earlier about how look I've thought about it All night and I've decided that I don't want to go on a date with Wes and hopefully you and I can find a hotel room to sneak into in Croatia And he's like this is the same night night she was making out on Anchor Watch with Max, which is so shady of her, you know? And this is who I was like, this girl is now caught and I have no more pity for her, but this is when it ended.

And it was so weird because then Hannah's tech started to come through too. And I was like, what is going on here? I was just kidding. It's the mass to all of it. So, um, yeah. So they was pretty, that is pretty shady. Um, my read on it is that Malia made out with Wes

and was like, he's not a good kisser. Um, I'm not really into him. And I kind of feel guilty because I sort of have a thing with Adam and I kind of screwed it up by like sort of being interested in West So I think I want to go back to Adam now That's what I think she was thinking Adam's like when I kiss on camera and Adam's the one I bone like crazy in a hotel room That's kind of what I think and you know, yeah

You go girl, but this lying and think you just totally got caught and this is not a good look for you not good So yeah, crew basically they go party now, right? Yeah, the crew goes into town and Bobby's like, Hey, you know, we should do an Irish car bomb. So, uh, unfortunately, that's so Bobby. Yeah, although it's sort of me too, I love an Irish car bomb. That's such I here's the thing Irish car bombs are actually a delicious beverage. There's like a sandwich in the glass. It's just like my way. We can talk to the yeah.

It's not really chocolate. It's only chocolate. If someone adds bailies to the shot, but it's just it goes down smooth. Smooth and you'd expect what I'm bobby's it and Adam's trying to pretend, you know like he's the same ages everybody Cuz he's like yeah, and he like takes it down and then he goes later skaters Like a G's old man Adam So then so Adam Max and Bobby are off like having Irish car bombs in an hour. I have to add this. I'm so sorry. Bobby goes, oh, guys, what's up with this lead deck hand thing? Uh, and then the chef. Yeah, that was hard to swallow. I mean, come on. It's like the

joke in the show that won't end. So yeah, so the guys are complaining about Wes and everything and then Wiz is like, I'm gonna come join the gods and people the bros and I was like, oh, this is awkward. And then he shows up and they're like, oh, hey, and he's like, I'll be right back to you, to your jeans, gentle folk. I just have to go for a pay real quick and then Adam goes as long as you don't get so drunk you fuck Malia. That's all that matters to me. I'm like ew. He's so gross and then he's deserved this girl. I'm sorry. Ew. He doesn't. Yeah, it doesn't deserve any girl. So Malia is like, back with the girls. Malia's like,

guys, I'm just on edge because like, I don't want Bobby to feel bad, you know what I mean? Because I really want to think I got this because I'm really good at my job. And not just because, you know, I may have, may or may have not kissed, wears on that elbow cam. And Hannah's like, I thought she was this sweet, innocent, cute girl that didn't know how cute she was. But now there's something there and I don't trust her. Yeah, because it Malia then goes you know whenever you're the cute female that you're boss or anyone's into it's kind of hard and Hannah just shoots her these fuck you eyes like I expected two bullet bills come right out

of her eyeballs and go attack oh yeah fuck you fuck you on the boat you came on and that's all boat so fuck that boat and fuck anything you've ever touched. Yeah especially because last week Malia boat you came on and that's all boat. So fuck that boat and fuck anything you've ever touched. Yeah, especially because last week, well, he is like, oh my God, that's so professional. Hannah, I cannot believe she would do that. Like making out with a charter guest. Who would do that? That is so professional. And now she's like,

Bob, when you're the hot one and all of your coworkers and your boss want to make out with you, you know what it's like girls. Like how many times I cook up friends, you know, for Captain Sandy? So I'm like, oh my god, I'm hearing this right now, but I'm not ironing and I don't know what to do with myself. She's just mining it because she doesn't know what to do her hands anymore.

Lauren, are you trying to iron? Are you trying to, are you trying to iron the bee? I can't help it. It's my hospitality industry training. Can't stop. I was a bully. So Adam is wasted now. He's really, really wasted.

And he's just being an awful American. He's slapping high-fobbed people. And he runs into a little, what do you call those things? Not a talk-tock, but a golf cart. A golf carty thing, a golf cart scooter. And then he slaps and he goes, oh, and so then he's just being awful, and they're all drunk and they're making fool of themselves. And then I guess Adam rips Wes's pants.

And Wes is like, I had to give him a wet year something. And it's just rips the pants, because that bubble butt and Adam's, Wes gets really pissed. And so he like, flicks away Adam's phone. He's like, not me, Adam, get Wes gets really pissed. And so he like flicks away Adam's phone. He's like, not me, Adam, get off me, whatever. And then that's when Adam.

Bro, Adam, bro. And Adam's like, oh yeah, and he puts his phone in his face and whizz slaps the phone out of his hand, which is so good. Yes. There's no way to fuck a man like breaking his iPhone. And by the way, you can tell Adam's real piece of work because the moment that phone goes flying, he does not look to see where it goes

and see if it's cracked. He said it does like a little sort of like a light slapping on West's face. I was like, the fact that you don't even care about your iPhone means I have no respect for you. Yeah, no kidding. And you may be coming after Wes, but Wes just destroyed your only chance

of coming for the next two months. So enjoy yourself, sir. Your sex life is over. Thank you. Thank you. I agree. And then it was said to be continued. So guess what?

It's to be continued. Next week we find out if Adam has a gorilla glass cover over his iPhone screen. Which I doubt. So guys, thank you so much. This was an extra long episode of BulloDick. I know we were supposed to do a listener spotlight, but I actually did not prepare it by accident. So I apologize. Rebecca, we'll do it next week, but Rebecca Shack, you get excited. You're on next week.

Yes. And tonight we have our show. So we'll see those of you in New York at the show tonight. Yes. And those of you who can't come, we still love you. Try and come to the LA one September second. Go to watch what crap is to get your tickets. And thank you. What did I say to get your ticket? Watch what crap is dot on your tickets. I'm out. Okay, bye everybody. We love you. I love you. Bye. Okay, bye everybody, we love you. I love you. I-E.

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