Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Lady and the Tramp Stamp
Episode Date: August 29, 2018Below Deck Med begins its final charter for the season. Will Hannah get her plane ticket refunded? Will Sandy resist chips? And will any woman on this show ever stand up to Zim? This week's b...onus episode is about our tour through Luann destinations in Palm Beach and penises in Atlanta. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Garsh! tees only on sale through August at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Denver, NYC, Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates.
Cameras off! Voice only!
Launching during Pride!
Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm,
with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes,
Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few.
Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun! I've been so much fun!
Watch what I've been doing!
Kids fun!
I've been so much fun!
I've been so much fun!
I've been so much fun!
Kids fun!
I've been so much fun!
Watch what crap ends
would like to think it's premium sponsors!
Ashley Savonee, she don't take no baloney! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley
Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Christy, wow,
where'd he dowry? Kelly Barlow, and she goes Barlow. We go
high low. Began Berg, you can't have a burger without the
Berg. Just saying, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Suzy going to the Tobin.
Anna.
Gotta love that banana.
Anderson.
Ain't no thing like Allison King.
Back in the Slayer Taylor.
Avadigila Weber.
And our super premium Patreon subscribers,
Pelligrant, Fegrant Master.
Give them home, miss no
well, the incredible edible Matthews sisters, and Lizzy Drucker, a fun
mother fuck, we love you guys. Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends, the
podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old brats, I'm
Ronnie Kerr, I'm also on the RosePrix podcast,
which you can find at RosePrix Podcast.
Go look it up, rosepricks.com.
Here I am with my gorgeous co-host,
he's talented, he's funny, he's got a face for the ages.
His name is Ben Mandelker, hi, Vin.
Hey, what's up?
Hey, you doing sweet baby boy?
Well, I just had a phenomenal stretch while you were talking and I just
feel so limber now. I do you. It's one of those days where that's all I need. It's
just a nice, good stretch. I feel great. I'm happy, you know, it's been it's been so
fun. It's been a great week enjoying everything we're doing and enjoying life
and enjoying enjoying love enjoying sunshine
I'm very excited because basically in about two weeks or so we're gonna be in Denver
We are doing a show at Denver at the Denver improv
It's gonna be excellent. I mean all you have to do is go on to our Facebook group
And you can see everyone talking about our Atlanta shows and our Palm Beach shows. And I just, I wouldn't want anyone in Colorado to get FOMO,
because we don't want people to miss out on our show
because they're just so phenomenal.
And you never know what's gonna happen.
So I would hate for you.
Help us help you have a wonderful night.
Okay, come watch our crap in the.com
to get tickets for Denver.
And then by the way, in New York, October, we got not one.
We've got two nights at the Grammar Street Theater.
The Grammar Street Theater is like a real life,
big deal theater, and this is major.
And we haven't really even started talking about it
because we've had so many shows,
we've had to shill everything, but like guys,
that's, it's amazing.
We're doing the Grammar Street Theater.
So watch crappens.com, get your tickets. Don't be left out
You're gonna want to be at all these shows. Yes and Denver in two weeks. That is gonna be I've never been to Denver
So I'm psyched by I'm already out of breath
The elevation will all used to be in Hawaii. So let's get up there
Maybe Gail Simmons is still lying in the sidewalk being like it was too much I can't do anymore.
It's like some bad pattern in the middle of the road.
Everybody today we are lucky enough to be here to talk about the final charter.
Ah, Ballotic Mediterranean.
Yes, it's the penultimate episode of the season of a great hilarious season. And I don't want to speak for you, Ronnie,
but my blood is boiling.
Joao, I just can't let me give you some good news first
before we get there.
You guys, Hannah Banana,
God, I love that Hannah Banana.
Oh, I love that Hannah Banana.
Just finally got her active wear line going.
It just went up last night you can go to
CA fit it's
S.E.A.Y.FIT
You can find the whole link of the link you can find the whole link of the link over at her Instagram
So follow Hannah on Instagram and go check out her activewear. It's bad. She's a really
bad ass supporter of this and she's made some red stuff so go check out her active where it's bad. She's a really bad ass supporter of this.
And she's made some rad stuff
so go check it out.
And let's support her back, everybody.
Goodbye, some stuff.
Okay, there's a t-shirt right now.
I can already see I want to buy it.
It says surprise bitches.
Right?
So I'm in.
Yeah, this is our kind of stuff.
Okay, Ben, boil your blood, babe.
Okay, blood is boiling. There was already a high pitch,
high pitch shrill squeal coming from my T kettle of blood.
So this week's episode, you know, the best part about, uh,
blow deck med is you, we never miss a second because we are back where we
left off with Hannah. It's the active wear maven that she is, uh,
having a yet another fight with Conrad.
They're still on that rusted boat,
sitting there kind of breaking up.
And Conrad has basically, you know, he's fuming,
and Hannah's like, well, this little honey,
doesn't know what this honey is gonna get.
So she's like, you know what I'm gonna do?
This little prick, he's about to break up with me
and we have a trip to Prague,
so I am going to bring out the heavily artillery and she's like well guess what? Sweetheart!
Oh my God. Don't call me sweetheart. I hate it when you call me sweetheart. It's the most
degrading thing ever. She's like honey eyes, honey eyes, honey eyes.
It's like it's the most degrading thing ever. Don't you remember when Captain Sandy made you do all two hours of work while he drove the boat?
Things so then a conference like you know it. This is not gonna work
We're not gonna do this. It's not gonna work and so Hannah's like and what should we do about Prague or on honey?
What about Prague?
Which then becomes her her struggle of the episode? What about
which then becomes her struggle of the episode. What about Prague?
Well, what sounds better than going to Prague with somebody you hate
and just broke up with?
Hmm, sounds like a fun trip, but she's like,
we already paid for the tickets, hon, I'm...
And Conrad, after basically breaking up with her, goes,
I'm sorry, he's like, I'm sorry.
I almost made a bad Australian accent instead of bad British accent. He goes, he's like, I'm sorry. I almost made a much bad Australian accent instead of bad British accent.
He goes, he's like, I'm sorry.
Could I have a hug or not?
I'm like, are you really asking for a hug
after you dumped Hannah?
And now she's got a plane ticket she can't use a hug?
It was even better because you know what?
We've got to stop civil line in it, which was funny.
And then she's like, well,
I can't get my money back for prog.
Suidae, and he's like, I'm sorry, you want a hug.
And then she goes, she goes,
you don't have to feel sorry from me.
Sweetheart, and she says we're hard again.
And he just is like, oh.
And then she does the thing where she like suits people
with her fingers and then winks her eyes.
She's like, which is my favorite Karen Huber move from Real Housewives of then winks her eyes she's like Which is my favorite Karen huger move from real house was a patemi so she's like
Well, look at it
And then she keeps doing a speed hat again. Yeah, so then back at the table Brooke is like um
Because Casey just said to you out. Why are you staring at me? And he's like was I and she goes
Why is she saying why are you like just staring at me like that? And he like oh was I and she goes why is she saying why you like to stare at me like that
and he goes oh my god because I'm an estate and he goes oh my god yeah he's he's being like I wasn't
doing anything wrong I was just looking around the table. I was looking at every single piece and I was looking at the flowers too. It's just what I am making. You're so insecure.
And she's like, ah! She's just sort of like vaguely looking off to the corner. You know.
Oh, the sadness that it infallible is my heart. I hope it doesn't complete the love that
I have for Joao, because love is the thing that keeps us alive at darkness is the thing that will kill us all.
He's already like making that with Casey the middle of her monologue.
Yeah, no kidding. She's like on his lap. So Hannah's like, all right then he's going at tonight.
She comes back all squinty-eyed and poking your cigarette people's face. You know, like when
he has ready to rumble. She's like, he's giving eight tonight. Like it's a big dare. And she's like he's giving it to no light like it's a big dare and
she's like oh he's raising hands to like half of them raise their hands so she's
well I guess we're gonna go a separate ways then yeah good good logistics
burn and good fan split burn Gacy's like I want to go out. I don't want this dress to go to waste and draw like
You don't want this dress to go to waste. Did you just say that did you just really say that?
That's like Susan Bobway. Did you hear that?
Fuck did you hear that she said that she?
That's one is just to go to waste I don't
She said I don't want the stress to be raised because he's like come on. It's all sex
I thought she said I don't want the stress to be raised because he's like come on It's all second line. She's like I don't want the stress to be raised
He's like oh, you don't want the stress to be raised. Did you just say that after raising the streets?
You're the way she just wants to fight and she's like yeah, it's like ironing class at this table right now
It's total stress, okay. It's like I'm eating a muffin made out of stress iron and holes
So Brooke is of course she's so Brooke clearly wants to go to sleep
I mean she's half asleep in the chair, but she's not gonna let Joao go out with Casey so she
Goes along with everyone else while basically Hannah and Conrad and Adam go home and and like it's like
Honnard did someone thought in the van honnard
Nice clearly Adam Sorry, honey, I did someone fart in the van, honey. Which is a nice, clearly Adam.
They're sorry. I thought I was home.
So they're out at this club.
I have to mention that the name of the place they were at was called the
Verzagliara. And I looked it up because I really like how this show has little
Easter eggs all over it. I feel like it's for us and it was not.
But just a place as they go are hilarious
if you really find out what they are.
This means an energetic and decisive woman
and it was right before Hannah's big fight.
So I was like, go location scouts.
That's funny.
Yeah, well done.
So the gang that's out in the club, they're there
and Brooke is like,
Honda dance. I, Hunter dance.
Right now, please let's dance. It's like, okay, you were like literally asleep time right now.
Dear the Lek combustion with
boo.
And try to like, well,
I'm going to sit there at the end of the table.
Is that okay from not sitting by you?
And she goes, why? And he says, because I I was gonna sit there anyway to chat with my bloke and she was
like that's crap and he goes, why are we here yet? we haven't even gone through the film
stage yet the more inspiration you get some more distant all get because I just want to be
me I'm like I'll make her make fuck you Fuck you, fuck you. He's like, he acts sketch.
He is being ridiculous.
So it makes her feel insecure
and then he blames her for being insecure.
It's like as a total gas like,
well, you know, she's just getting so insecure.
Like, I don't know what sort of friend,
I don't know what sort of relationship this is gonna be.
It's like, no, don't do this thing like you have to be me
and like, or you have to be you
and she's holding you behind.
No, you are being
an appropriateness, and you're being a dick, and she's just reacting to that the way a
normal person would it would be. And now you're upset at her as a total mind fucked. It's
emotional abuse.
Yeah, I'm fucking over it. Okay. We've had over this show all season from him. We have it
on Real Housewives of Orange County where the husband is a complete asshole to people,
but then all the women are fighting over whose fault of theirs it is.
Then on Bachelor Red, this guy loses it and is gaslighting a girl after he was making out
with somebody else.
You know what, I'm really just fucking over it.
Okay, straight people.
Straight men in particular get it together over there.
Yeah, it's this like really awful thing that we see so much in society, but especially on reality TV of these just like
Narcissistic like ridiculous dudes that you know like
Fuck with women in this way and then the women just like fall in line with it. It's just it's like they fight with each other
Like they fight with each other saying like, you know, it's really hard for us just to us to go after him or something like that. Oh,
yeah, it's her fault. Now, of course, Casey really isn't. Casey really isn't like just stepping
back. But why should he? He's flirting with both of you openly and always was. You don't
get to like stamp him. But again, it's like you two are making it about you when it's about
him being a prick. Yeah. if anything, I'm actually impressed
that Brooke and Casey haven't like been clawing at each other.
It's actually shocking, but you know what though?
He, Joao has a cruel streak in him.
And, you know, and his cruel streak
has appeared in many different ways.
And currently, you know, he moves, he sits at the end
of the table in between Colin and Casey.
And honestly, he's doing it because he a he wants to flirt with Casey and b it's like
It's like a form of cruelty to brook. I'm sorry. It's a way of being like liquid. I'm doing you know like he's doing it to
Just sort of like fuck with her. He's like, oh, you're gonna be jealous
Well, guess what then I'm gonna do this even more like it makes her feel like shit when he does and he knows it
Yeah, it's not right
he's a real winner that one yeah um they do eventually start dancing but over at the boat
Hannah's like angrily changing her bra and i or not are changing into her night clothes and i
like the Hannah's the same thing she goes in right in front of the camera and she always pulls
her shirt off with her boobs right in the camera, which, you know, I really like that. I'm like that she's like different moves like today's like the angry shit take-off.
I love reading her boots and her black lace bra, you know.
Exactly.
And Adam and Conrad are upstairs talking about her and he's like, listen dude, Adam needs
a rich person.
You're just not rich.
You're just a twink from England.
Sorry, dude. And then Hannah starts like well come start walking up the stairs
And I'm like and here's another thing about
Right man
When they start talking they're smoking these big cigars and Conrad really does look like the baby from Roger Rabbit with a cigar.
And Adam's like, huh, let me guess you fucked up again.
How top-to-pop a bear!
Look, just smelling like you've been asleep for six months pooping yourself in a cave does not make you a pop-up bear, sir.
Back down from my social stand. Yeah,, so so Hannah's like, um,
Konrid, do we have a quick chat? I'm like, oh my god. Why? Why is
this still going on? You guys have you guys just spent half an hour
on a rusty boat, like sitting on it, talking like, what else is
there to discuss? So he leaves. And meanwhile meanwhile Jamie is talking is saying something
She's basically talking about Jowell and she's saying like
She's saying to Jowell that I guess that he looks like the sort of guy who beats women
No, because they're Jowell and Casey are flirting. That's something massively wrong
Jowell, okay, I had to rewind this cheek so it's like what?
Because Jowell and Casey are flirting and they're talking about that dance where like you're slapping someone's butt
Like you're holding their back and slapping their butt and then so he does it
But he's doing it more violently and Jamie because you you just look like you'll be in the woman, you know
Yeah, and then Brooke sees them and she is this is crap
Well because well cuz you're out goes do I look like this sort of guy that would beat a woman?
That's such bullshit.
And then Brooke gets up, she goes,
Ata!
Bosh it.
Quietly.
Like a little quiet Brookeburn,
like just that said, just to herself.
And Jamie's like, what did you do to her?
Is that, oh, guess I have to go now?
And Krona goes, no, don't follow her.
Don't follow her.
She'll hit you. Yeah. So then, so then upstairs, don't follow her, don't follow her, she'll hit you.
So then upstairs, I'm not upstairs, but over at the boat, Hannah's with Kahn Ranch, she's like,
can you just shut the fuck up and come to Prague with me? Hannah, can you come to Prague? And he's like, well, I'll come. I'm like, well, I will come,
but only if we don't have another argument. And she's like, all right, Hannah,
like, what is that supposed to mean? I've got to change my flight.
I've got to change my flight.
And then he's like, fine, change the flight.
So we're like, okay, great, how's it gonna change your flight?
And little do we realize this is gonna be like an ongoing
saga for the rest of the hour.
Like every, every like three minutes,
Hannah pop, stuff's like, well,
I have to change my flight to Prague.
Gotta change my flight to Prague.
You already spent the money.
Yeah, you already spent the money.
Go find the daddy over in Prague.
What the hell are you doing?
Yeah, it's Prague.
It's great.
Go there.
You get a nice room because he's already paid for half.
He can't get his money back either.
So go have fun.
Yeah.
What the hell?
Exactly.
So Jamie and Brook are back on the boat now.
And they're talking about, oh no, they're in the club talking
about the fridge.
They're by the wine fridge or whatever.
And Jake, I wrote down fridge so I assumed sorry so
Jamie's like what's up and Brooks I wear the stage right his teeth and it wants to
buy other women and Jamie's like that's a tough stage it's really lovely standing here
talking to you by yet another fridge writer that doesn't have something to make in it yeah
exactly so then they're dancing and I also by by the way, I also love when Brooke said,
I think we're just in the stage, but we're working each other out. I'm like, you've been dating for
three days. Okay. Like you're like barely, you're barely in a stage. Okay. And so Brooke is flirting
with case or with with Colin. She's doing like a two out ofat. But it's not really working. And Casey, meanwhile, is saying like,
deep down, I think I just still really like, wow, I mean, if I hadn't left that dock party,
that could be me. I'm like vomit, major vomit across everything. I'm vomiting everywhere. I can
vomit because a, the fact that you would make it like,
oh, if only I hadn't done this is so like degrading to yourself and degrading in like that Hannah
sweetheart way because like, no, like, why should you be like feeling guilty that like the the the
love of a man like that you couldn't any guy whose love you could have lost because you weren't
on the doc for an extra two minutes is not a man worth fighting for. I'm sorry. Like, you
should not have to, like, worry about walking away for a doc for two minutes and losing
the love of your life. I'm sorry. He is also what people say after total tragedies and
disasters, you know, like I missed my plane and then it crashed. Like if I had just been
there two minutes earlier, I would have died. Okay,
Kay, like you would have been the victim of this situation you A whole. You think he was gonna stop
flirting with Brooke just because it would have been you. It would have just been the same thing
that's going on all season. And I'm kind of sick of it. And I'm really glad it's ending soon because
I this this is enough like I've had a man. Yeah. And like Casey, you were like all empowered a few,
you know know episodes ago
I've never been empowered. She made one fucking bed this girl. She's never been empowered. Okay, no
But it was like a few weeks like a few weeks ago. She's like well now I see what a dish. Yeah, so fuck him
I was like
Flirted with him again in front of Brooke to make some kind of a point so whatever it's like the in kind of empowerment
I don't think anybody has ever been going for.
Okay.
So Brooke is like, oh, so now she's met that they're dancing.
So she tries to ask me with Colin again.
Meanwhile, Colin is like it prom in his mind, you know?
Yeah.
He's like, it's finally happening.
I come on.
Everyone's happening on the wall.
Oh my God.
So Colin is just trying to get out of his,
or Conrad is trying to just get out of his shirt.
I'm sure he's so drunk.
Poor thing is going home like a chain smoking alcoholic after this.
Yeah, he's been ruined by the show just full on ruined.
Yeah, and Brooke is passed out in the backseat of the van.
Yeah, and the Canada does what both chiefs do on this show.
They walk around in shalves when they're upset.
Like when Kate is upset with a man,
she whips out that shawl immediately. It's always some fucking shawl. And now Hannah's like,
you think Kate Chastainse and one with the Nanga Shawl, do you? Mine is Zebra Prince.
I'm loving this like angry woman shawl theme we have going on both below decks. Great choice. So, so now again,
Jhwaw is flirting with Casey and he's like,
so do you have your own play States sought?
I'd like to visit you there.
I may be burning you a little bit,
and by bone I mean just get you some chicken burns.
That's what I mean.
Things totally innocent.
It's like, shut up, Jhwaw!
Well, I still live with my parents,
but you can still come.
And then in the in the in the
Chris. Brooke is like knocking things over
over there and Casey into our just still flirting
and giving each other high fives and stuff.
Yeah, because everyone's sitting around the table
and Brooke is like up at the sink trying to open up a bottle of wine
just like knocking shit over. I was like, my fury knows no bounds, but I know better
than to sit and let it be thirsty, so that I should feed it with another glass of wine
for surely. The morning will bring respite from these emotions.
I can open up all of wine, but can it quaint that this felt in me heart?
No amount of wine could say she ate a heart that lost for one who lost for someone else.
Meanwhile, so then, so they're all sitting around and bunch of them are all like,
it's like Colin, I think, I don't know, the bunch of them, Jamie,
Joao, Casey, they're all sitting at that little table on the crew mess.
And what does Joouwau do?
He does the Jouwau thing that we've been talking about all season long.
He just stretches out and sleeps, goes to sleep on the bench, which is annoying because
everyone's sitting around the bench and you just kind of extend yourself and just claim
all of this bench space for yourself. Which is so fucking hard. So it's his head on Casey's leg.
And it looks like he's sleeping on her lap.
And it's like,
So that fell uncomfortable right now.
Tell it to my soul.
Just getting slurred across.
And so Casey goes,
he's not even on me.
And Drew Aguas, not yet.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
Like, how could you even say that as a girl you're hanging out with right there?
It's so disrespectful.
And like, don't give me a, I'm just joking.
I need to be me.
I need to be able to make my jokes.
No, it's, you need to be considerate of the person that you have been like speaking
sweet nothings into.
Truly sweet.
I literally don't even care.
Both these fucking women are idiots at this point.
I'm not going to even stick up for them anymore.
You're idiots.
You're like a little cat who keeps crawling to the top of a mother fucking tree and then
expecting someone to get you down and then crawling up the tree again.
Stop crawling up the tree.
Like, I don't even feel for you.
You're both idiots, okay?
I'm not starting to hate them as much as I hate to wow at this point.
It's not so much that I'm defending the girls.
It's more like that I am taking to wow down several pegs.
But these girls are, these girls are a danger to society
because they enable the kids like this.
They do.
You act like that to somebody like that,
and then you totally empower them to keep acting like that
and just upping their game.
Like he's not getting any better.
He's actually getting worse.
I actually think these girls are not a danger to society.
I think society is a danger to these girls.
It's a society that has told these girls
that this is how you act.
And that is the bad part.
Oh, hi, hi.
This is society calling.
OK?
This is society.
Cut the shit.
Oh, OK.
Cut the shit.
Why can't society be more like Colin?
Who went when Joe Aosat, when Casey says he's not on me
and Drago's not yet?
Colin goes, classic roomy
Yes, he goes classic roomy. Oh, that's a job. Oh, you just got jowed
So Brooke gets mad she's like you know what everyone
I'm telling you what I told my sense when it tried to get together with my sensibility
I said fuck off your own bankers and call it goes really broke
Come on brook. It's like I fuck off
And then she wants she stumbles down the hallway with the flapper skirts this way too long. I am going
I'm going. Well, I'll be.
Well, I'll be.
I'm calling.
I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, Yeah, that's how she irons. I flung myself down the staircase and the fabrics too wrinkly.
I'm really, I'm really, I'm on a tear today.
I'm like fired up.
I'm really like, I love an episode where we're both mad at people.
It's not fun.
You know, I feel so good, good week for that.
And again, Joao is just stretched out on the bench, just on the bench.
So Brooke goes and she cries and Collins on the all best friend Collie BFC
Oh BFC here at the service all come crying my arms broke
It's not just a river in Egypt
So he's like yeah, he's like come on girl you hey listen here Brooke and romantic music
Like a little bit
Smoke Listen here, brook. I'm romantic music, sir. It's like like a little... You are... Smoke!
All right?
You could get any guy you want,
you have to know that.
Unfortunately, I don't want dinner, except...
Himm... MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM know, like, I don't want like some, you know, very captain, I want like a real man. He's like, oh,
oh,
let's go.
Chin wipe off that mascara. Here, take my Kleenex wipe those
tears away.
She'll take that Kleenex blower nose in it and then offer his
Kleenex to Juao. Yeah, I'm going to be wasting a little
stop of wars on her.
I know, I was like, wow, Ronnie is so mad
he's not even gonna do the rest of the scene.
No, I will not be further into that with these two.
I'm sick of it.
I know, Brook is like not even dating the dentist.
Brook is full on dating the plant.
Like she's like, she's just like, oh, it's Brook two.
Oh, could I give you some of my blood blood plant yeah she's seen more feeding that fucking plant who
ends up killing the entire world okay that's exactly what i'm saying thank you
and is that what is k what's kacy in this is kacy like mr. moushnik or something
kacy let me think kacy is um god i don't know. I don't know. I think our analysis. I don't even think KC's in this.
I don't know. It's definitely a little yacht of tar. So for sure. Yeah, I can't even. I'm too mad.
I'm too mad. I take one of my favorite musicals. Now you want to do something like Oklahoma or something.
I hate good. Put them in that and I'll just leave. No, we like Oklahoma, we like Oklahoma.
But the thing is this, you know what,
if one thing about Broke is that occasionally
she can tell the truth and she goes,
fuck, I'm so pathetic.
I'm like, see, finally, finally we're seeing life
for what it is.
Oh, whatever, it doesn't count at night when you're drunk.
I go to bed every night like, oh,
I'm gonna do better tomorrow.
And guess what, little orphan any is a liar tomorrow sucks to
You know why cuz it's today
Okay, everybody
goes to bed and
The next day it's wow wakes up and he's like, are you throwing up?
Colin's
Everyone Collins to really go hello sandy no like that's the other thing by the way like of all these facets of of
Awfulness of his Wow, we're not even like we haven't even doesn't even come up this episode of what a kiss ass
He is to people who are higher than him. Oh, he's the worst. Yeah, anyway, so he's
Do's do's in Colin the sweet. Do's see each other in the little kitchen pantry thing or the coffee station whatever you call it and
Casey's like, you you call it. And um, uh, KC's like,
you're with you. My hammer. And she's like, well, I'll tell you this. I'll need to get
to Prague. I need to get my 23 year old. Do you take a taxi and boom, you're over. I'm
like, are you, are you though? Yeah. She's like, well, anyway, don't mind me. I'm just going
to cancel my flight to Prague. Right. There's a moment I'm about to press that button.
Next time you see me, that trip will be fully canceled.
It'll be a canceled trip and I'm doing it right now.
I'm going to honay.com and can't see my flight on my honnay airlines
because I'm not going to Honay Prague anymore. Honay, sweetheart.
Don't worry, I'm sure the lot iron itself out.
Things don't iron themselves, Casey.
How many goddamn tons do I have to tell you on A? It's time for commercial.
It's time.
Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle.
And we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,
and the repercussions.
What does our obsession with these feud say about us?
We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and
Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.
It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.
But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying
any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a
carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.
You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah.
So Colin is just like hanging out at the table in the crew mess, just hung over and
draws like, and you can say something about his shorts or he makes like some, you know,
something like, hung over and calling.
Oh, were you laughing, man, it's funny, I get it, and get the fuck out of my face.
In Zimbabwe, it's traditional that if someone's hung over you have to go up to them and laugh in their face
And that's just how we do it and I feel like people don't understand my background and they don't understand me
It's that when I'm laughing at them. I'm really hugging Zimbabwe
Gotta be me. I've just gotta be me
So Colin and Conrad
Hey
Can I have dinner with my parents tonight? Oh, gee, thanks
Do you feel that love pumping through the city? It's my mom. She's in an Italian restaurant. Can I go have dinner with her?
Meanwhile his mom is totally doing bell from being the beast like hello. Good morning. Have you seen?
Kali? I'm gonna have you know with I-Kali!
He's such a great little boy!
GQ's colleagues, what we say!
When he comes in, he's like, hey!
He's got 30 shoes and 19 watches!
Hi Kali!
Hi Kali!
Hi Kali!
Hi Kali!
Everyone in Naples is like, who's this bitch?
Who is this bitch running the worst streets right now? So they have the
the meeting with handy handy handy
Captain handy and
Hannah conrad and Hannah are sitting next to each other looking miserable and Hannah goes honestly
How do I if the FBI wants to find a way to torture people?
You need to put them on a yacht with their ex-boyfriends. HOTNAT-AA-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A- to Prague. Would you believe it Gales? I have to cancel my trip. So the captain's like, all right, well the days guess her from Naples, Florida,
Shacker. I haven't known him, slept with him, or you know, competed with them on the
self-help circuit. So I'm just in the dark as you girls, all right?
Yeah, and I was just bracing for some Naples comedy, some like whoa from Naples Florida, Naples Italy and like no one did it.
And then I was like am I calling? Is that me? Is that my role in this world? But I'm gonna make the Naples joke?
Well I'm getting a warning. It's uh it's an old dude, two daddy's girls and a new wife.
All right. Now Clint wants to make amazing memories with his new son-in-laws.
The wife wants to affect somebody who's not old and the
dad is wanting to kill their mother and themselves. Alright?
By the way, nobody can eat anything ever. Okay. This is going to be great.
And Hannah's like, alright, honey, I think I'll get some, uh,
maybe I'll get some mea 20 years for dinner and Sandy's like, Oh,
gosh, I love that fourth thought. Now, this is the Hannah I like.
A Hannah who thinks about Italian music.
Oh, good.
Good Hannah.
Favorite type of Hannah there is.
I found a band.
It's called Forced to Cancel Tickets to Prog.
They can't afford. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha They are a cover band. They like to do cover songs of boyfriends were actually responsible.
The first number will be not leaving on a jet plane.
So Brooke and Jow are talking. Brooke is decided to do that thing that she does where she
wakes up in the morning and she's like nothing bad ever happened
I was struck and remember nothing
Ha ha ha and he's like good morning
And he's like I hope I didn't do anything wrong list not right. I'm like oh shut up
And now Brooke is taking it on her. She's she's shoulders responsibility of last night's issues. She's like,
I'm so embarrassed that I got drunk and became insecure and jealous.
It was my fault.
Yeah, no, Brooke, well, don't, no, it was not your fault.
You got, you got jealous and insecure because he did that to you.
Actually, it wasn't the booze that did that to you
It was him he drove you to the booze broke which I'm shaking right now
I'm just like mentally shaking your radius lapper across the face, but
That would be abusive too. You see what you're out doing to us. Yes
It was my fault
So yeah, she's like that number and into the woods, but she's taking all the blame
She's like, but it's my fault, but it's my fault but it's my fault what's totally mine or
If I hadn't gone up that being stuck if I had
Making yourself the villain of every single fairy tale ever written
I got to go I had to go looking all across the countryside for someone who'd fitting this shoe and I think that no one has taken my
Emotions into into consideration here.
I was the one who had cleaned up a glass.
So we were forced to braille upon.
Yes, I'm sorry everyone.
This is what happened in the last thing.
I explained to his aunt why I tripped over a glass in the middle of a gold damn bowl
room.
I'm the one who's raising a boot. So this actually ends perfectly
this scene because it just says so much about the whole season. She's like, well it was
all my fault but you know we can go out again late and have a fun time. He says, well we're
gonna drink this time. And she goes, yeah. And he said, he don't learn your lesson too yet she is nope I never do nope
never never never so now Colin he's like oh I'm gonna put on my black shirt look really
handsome and dad but from I'm dead so he goes out onto the dock and has dinner with with his
parents and you it's so cute hi coley Collie! Hey, Coll!
We're drinking wine with so happy, uh, Coll.
Love my Collie, hey, Collie.
And you want something from the bread basket?
They got all sorts of bread.
And they got bread sticks.
They got focaccia.
They got regular bread.
They got walnut bread.
What do you want, Collie?
You can have a whole little bit.
We can get more bread.
It's okay.
And what you want? He's like, whoa, my parents. I've never even seen a frannel there faces. This is amazing. And then his mom goes,
we're so happy, Kyle. We're so happy.
Just being happy.
Kyle.
So, I'm breaking Casey, um, are over on the boat and they're having fun making a bed together
And yeah, cuz they're like fine when they're alone, you know, but this also reveals everything about bro
Although I think we already knew this but it is like a nice reminder, but go on
Oh kind of the service level cuz Brick goes this will be the last time ever I will make an abode together
I'm like or they're here for like three days
I'm never I was making a bed together. I'm like, or they're here for like three days.
Yeah.
It's the last one.
So Brick is like,
Oh, the daddy's girls want to think of that.
I just want to be the girl of one man's heart.
If he wants to be the cold and daddy,
sure to be creepy.
But not as creepy as Dine alone.
Yeah.
So they're just like laughing about the daddy's girls and cases making joke about
daddy's girls and brook gets real darts.
He's like, oh, daddy's girls, you know what?
My daddy would be like, my daddy would be like, let's spend all the money and go to horse
races and have a fairs and mom again.
Whoa.
Yeah.
My daddy is horrible.
Exactly the reason I want to be with to
our father. Yeah, so apparently her dad had a string of affairs treated her mom
like shit. So what a surprise, Brookas with to wow, she is marrying her father. Also,
I want to give a shout out to one of our listeners. Her name is Veronica, and she sent us an email.
Veronica, I want to get your name, right?
But I forgot your last name.
So Veronica, you know who you are.
So Veronica sent us an email.
It was basically like, you know,
I know you're basically concerned about calling
Joao's a wow-wow, because you don't want to be like
doing microaggressions, because of that thing.
We talked about a few weeks ago.
So she said, instead of saying Joaoao,
you should just put on London Beats song.
I've been thinking about you.
And when they get to the Joaoao part and that song,
when they go, Joaoao, you should just play that
and saying Joao's name.
And it was such a specific reference.
And it was like such a long-winded reference
that I just loved it.
And I just have to say Veronica, thank you. I
really appreciate that because that's how my brain works too. So good. So then we go back to Mom and
Dad dinner with Veronica. I have nothing to eat Veronica. Thank you. No, Veronica, she was full. It
was like she made the full like there's nothing to add. She made a London beat reference like how
great is that? I really am just like so impressed by listeners
I love these fucking guys and I also love Collins parents who are still at dinner and mom's like
She has found the one bottle in the entire restaurant that shaped like a baby bottle. It is fucking perfect
So do they make fun of you accent, you know, accent, call it, they do, they do that. He's like, I mean, there are actually so many people I like barely even know what people are saying half the time.
There's like people from like England, Australia, and like South Africa,
and then Bob, it's like, whoa, how cally, that's just great. That's great.
We're just happy. You're happy, cally.
Um, so the next morning, uh, because that was like the easiest day ever, you know, everybody's like Jill and so the next morning Adam is
Coming up with his breathing plan to get his mission in star and we get a close-up of his notebook and it says hummus
Italian weddings
So
Gujar and see. So, good job. So then everybody's getting ready for
rivals and 12 sees Casey getting changed and he's like, oh yeah,
hey, you do it. And she's like, how you do it? And Brooks, I
know, how am I doing? And then Hannah walks by, come on,
right? And just goes, how about I'll get into my, is this what?
So is this the appropriate outfit to wear when you're trying to cancel a flight from Prague?
Huh?
Oh, good.
So yeah, she's still in her like anger, her shroud of anger walking around.
And then see, wait, hold on, I'm seeing, oh yeah, we get
some arrivals and Adam goes, whoa, the age difference between the main guy and his wife
from my husband, you've come, right, and had a rabbit, the creator, my heart, you trying
to fuck a 20 year old last year, sir. Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. So as the usual stuff, champagne for the guests,
is a tour, take up your shoes,
here come the bags, et cetera.
And Hannah goes to Adam in the kitchen.
She's like, all right, honey, lunches at one,
dinner at eight, and in between,
I'll be canceling my flop to pole,
and so we're from Prague, I should say.
And I'm like, whoa!
Now that comrades out of the picture, and it's. And I'm like, whoa! Now that comrades out of the picture,
man, it's on top of the game, whoa!
Yeah, right.
Landon.
Oh!
Yeah!
Hey, there's some dolphins.
And then Hannah's like, oh,
guess what we've got, Dunfee?
We've arranged some perfect weather for you. I was like, wait a take credit when the weather's like, oh, guess what we've got, Don't fee? We've arranged some perfect weather for you.
I was like, where to take credit
when the weather's good,
but then blame God when the weather's bad, you know?
I know.
I mean, while Brook is just like sadly scattering
neon green stones on the table, like,
he's how my emotions scattered amongst the table.
Just the way, show out, scattered my heart amongst the sea.
So Adam is also, now this shows really proving to us all in America that when you get yelled
at, it really does change things because Rick got mad at Hannah and now Hannah's doing
a really good job and then people got mad at Adam and now Adam's making an effort.
Sometimes you just need to kick people in the ass.
And meanwhile, the guests are like sitting on like a little bank head and they're having
just like awkward conversation where it's like, here we, you be one of the girls, I'll
be one of the other girls. You need to come down. Wait, sitting in, you need to come down.
Yeah, wait, what? Wait, what did you say? You need to, I mean, never mind.
You know what's great is that you didn't know what I was actually saying, but it actually
fed perfectly into what was happening in that scene.
I know.
I was like, right, right.
I was like, no, no, did I not write this down?
No, because that's what it was.
We're just having this forced awkward conversation.
And then the dad's girlfriend, Trisha's like, I know what you said.
And they're like, cool.
Yeah, it's happening.
It's really you.
Yeah, and they're like, yeah, good.
And the old man's looking you to rock,
and the wife goes, where are we?
And the daughter goes, did she say ditto?
I wrote down ditto.
Like it literally doesn't matter,
as long as whatever you say is like awkward and silent.
It's just like really was it was so
But I think he just found this chick
Yeah, she said he brand new because they hate it. Yeah, and she really could be worse
She's not like some 20-year-olds, you know, Bimbo. She's like at least older
Maybe like 20 years younger, but he's like 70, you know
Well, they know well obviously he's rich and they think that she's a gold digger
It says clear as that because she is like she's like awful in like an understated way. So I
appreciate why they hate her. But yeah, it could be a lot worse. Well, she's like enjoying her gold
diggerness, which I like about her, like she's joking about it. You know, she's like kind of
making everybody try and make people laugh at it, but they're like, and we have no inheritance.
So great. So, which is weird,
because that's just what Brooke was talking about.
So, Colin is like,
oh, it's not fun when the girl you got a crush on
your best friend or cuddling in the crew,
but it's just kill me now!
Oh, I really miss my Italian adventures with mom and dad.
So Brooke is like, there's some weird dynamic between the young mom and the stepma the young girls and the stepmom
I can relate my dad's wife is young and awful way I can't say that
And then Adam's like I love cooking Mexican that from Southern California. It's in my blood
love cooking Mexican, that from Southern California, it's in my blood, sir, fan, paint, dry, caroling,
my little baby.
Selling jazz apples.
Yeah.
Opium, living in a van, you know how, go.
Oh, oh, oh.
I know, that's what his voice is doing to me now.
I can only do the Adam impersonation so long before my,
my throat gives out.
Yeah.
So Captain Zand is like, you're at the anchor to be shackles, one shackle for every notch that Hannah's improved.
So yeah, Adam is basically cooking Mexican food,
he's all excited and stuff.
And now I had like like corners broke.
I was like, well, guess what,
honey, I guess what I've got to do.
I've got to change my flat from Prague.
How about that, honey?
How about that?
Spidia more like fuck him peter, you know what I'm saying right honey?
How about a trip I wouldn't advise her all right?
I mean why did he make me book a hotel room and fly it a Prague? I mean what kind of fucking pussy does that right honey?
I'm gonna go change that flight right now? Right there seems to next time you see me I guarantee I will not be talking about how I have to change my flight.
Then back over at lunch, the awkward lunch with the family, the wife goes,
it's really exhausting to be me and the daughter goes, I bet.
And the daughter goes, I bet. Has the rice plays.
So now it's time to hop on the tender and go through those Capri caves like we saw a few
weeks ago.
So they're doing that and Jamie is like thinking back on the season and reflecting on the
chocolate milk she's enjoyed and Brooke is quietly gathering the pebbles from the table. you know, like I put my pebbles out there and I take them back
I put them out and I take them back and that is the way love goes it helps and flows like pebbles on a table
So they're getting the tender ready for everybody to go see that cave thing and we get a Jamie's wrap up story
But poor Jamie it's like basically chocolate milk and barfing, you know for whole story
But they don't even wait till the last episode to give her her wrap up. Yeah, that's the last episode
Yeah, she does it's so sad
So meanwhile Conrad is like doing something like moving an umbrella or something and saying to say,
Oh God, Conrad is at his best. He's being such a boss on that's the Conrad I want. The sort of Conrad that drops
a toy in the water and then jumps in and flips it over with his own body weight. That's a bosson.
That's the kind of bosson I need. The kind kind without a hand around his neck dragging him to the bottom of the goddamn motion.
Oh god, you can tell we just suck, uh, Captain Lee.
Something like, Goddamn it!
So then the guests go from the tender to like a little robot because they're going to go
to the blue grotto, which is like really, like, really low.
So they have this like a telling guy.
And the producers are hilarious because the guy goes, a watch at the head, and the producers are hilarious because he goes the guy goes a watcher the head and the
caption goes spells watcher the head. They put his accent into the captions.
Some titles.
So good.
The blue grotto is one of the natural wonders of the world. You lay here long enough and
chocolate milk starts pouring into your mouth. Wait, that's me. That's me. They say if you wait here long enough,
you'll see the quick bunny in the flesh. And the Italian guy during the boat ride is just like
I'm not a real man. I'm not a real man.
Mario, it's me.
Here we go.
So the stews are talking a little
while they're getting cleaned and ready to go
and how to leave the room.
And Brooks, can you see a big change?
I said, I said, I really can.
She's been so much more full and helpful
in one rep.
If only men could follow the same path
that has fallen to the center of my eyes.
Okay, she's like, yeah, yesterday I put her blouse
in a tub of acid,
because I thought that's what she meant by irony.
Now she can even get mad at me.
Okay, so she goes something real in her,
and that's like really the way to get people to work.
Something like that. So the water toys Hannah and Captain run into each other in that
little kitchen area while Hannah is getting liquor out and Captain goes,
Gads, you're always in the liquor girl. It's me happy place. And Sandy's like,
I'm Galechina, a little secret. I love chips. My only. I only chips on a boat in America. I don't
eat chips, but your chips all day. And it's like you say they they've
retuned and captain's like look at us eating chips. You know, for me and Hannah, it was
Pringles for a while. You know, Ruffles got ridges, but now it's so smooth baked
lace. You know, it was nice smooth like a baby's, you know, a little car bottom.
For a while there, I thought that Hannah and I were sort of like sea salt and vinegar if
you know what I mean, but now things have meld out into a cool ranch.
So the wife comes back on her little jet ski thing and crashes right to the boat and Jamie's
like, oh yeah, you're killing it.
Yeah, Jamie's like smiling and then she just starts scowling.
Like I left the mainland and all the chocolate milk
my heck could, could design to watch this bitch crash
into the side of this boat.
I don't think so.
So for another disgusting flirting session
with you out in Casey, they're in the mess.
All the job's like, so Christy,
he met she's gonna miss my sexual harassment on the scale of one to ten and she's like
It's like oh, so I guess I lost that point because I didn't give you the dick did I right?
Is that why she's like kind of yeah?
How much are you gonna miss me because I'll miss you a full on 10 out of 10 what we call that in the
mob way a ransom out of ransom
10 ransom out of 10
I am as like Casey will you stay on service I've got to book my flight before
it's not
She literally said that me while Adam Adam is like, he's like,
looking at, inspecting his pork line.
It's like, perfectly code to go,
it's got him good.
No wonder why I'm the jazz apple spokesman
for North America.
Hey, Cruele, Cruele.
Here's another dinner wrapped in Seren wrap.
Yeah.
The captain's like, that is one mean dinner. Yeah, I love this banana crew. So the wife is getting ready and
Girl, for telling me she's a girlfriend just you know her name is Trish. Oh, whatever. So the lady the eventual wife
Evil stepmom is ready
Jeff comes out or she comes out in like a Orange County Pirates leave, you know, Puffy
or she comes out in like an orange County Pirates leave, you know, a coffee fashion center outfit.
And she's like, look at me.
And she goes, God, I have great shoes for this outfit.
It's a part I hate the most about this,
but I just really want to wear my shoes,
which is funny because she has been a litany
of complaints this whole time.
Wow.
Litany of complaints.
This is true.
She's had a litany of complaints, I should say.
Oh, yes.
So then the other daughters come up stairs,
because they're all getting ready for dinner and the other daughters come up stairs.
And it's like, now they're ready for dinner.
But guess what?
Trisha's missing.
And it turns out that that the daughters have nice tans and Trisha doesn't.
So she's gone downstairs to go bronze herself.
That way she looks hotter.
I'm like, okay, things are starting to make sense.
She is pretty terrible. Yes, I guess. And the doubt was the one to call it. He's like, well,
you two were too tan and she was too white. And then they show clip of her doing exactly
what they thought she was doing. And so Hannah's like, well, should I make cocktail
hour hold for another three hours? I'm not be to use it that's how long it's taking to get onto Xlowyia. I will be having some dinner as soon as I cancel my ticket from Prague.
I'm trying to do all day, but first I want to tell everyone that I do have to cancel my
dinner for my flight from Prague.
And if you all join me on the Sunday, I will be
can gather there to watch me cancel my ticket from Prague.
It's like go upstairs and listen to the Italian band singing,
I'm coming home because they are on going.
They will be, they will be doing some covers of Jefferson Airplane,
which is no relation to the airplane that I have to cancel from Prague.
So Adam and Hannah, Hannah's like, are you ready for me to see them?
And he's like, well, they've requested Italian season.
Normally I'm okay for a request, but now I'm fucking brain dead.
Well, they need Michelin.
What I don't even know what that means.
Adam, I think found a weed dealer because he's like suddenly in a great mood at all times.
Yeah, he really is. So they
get served some homemade faccacha and then Adam is like preparing a cuprazy in the kitchen.
He's like making like a balsamic smear on all the plates and he's like, oh, looks like someone
just pooped on the plates. Huh. He got sanded. Huh. God, I love a good poop smear joke. Huh.
Ha, God, I love a good poop smear joke. Ha.
Chuckles, right?
He's like, yeah, thanks, Sammy.
Ha.
So they are serving, but the husband can't eat anything.
Lord knows why.
I mean, you've got a couple of weeks left.
Just enjoy it, you know?
So they give him a salad, and the wife's like, oh, gross.
I mean, he wants what we're having.
And the daughter, the daughters are talking.
Wait, they're going to work. So Brooke comes out Brooke comes out and they like, you love your tattoo.
She's like, oh really?
Someone loves something of mine.
And then they're like, yeah, we're thinking about getting a tattoo in on of our late mother
because she was like so much better than any other replacements that could have come
her way.
Trisha's just like, ugh, and she starts like, she goes hands together.
Yeah, she goes, oh gross, that would hurt so bad.
Trust me, I know, I have a tramp stamp.
And then Brooke gives her a place.
Yes.
Thank you.
Hannah comes by.
Does anybody need a refill?
We have a lovely one here.
It's called Got a Cancel My Trip from Prague.
It's a great wine, vintage of two days ago.
Oh, I'm sorry, you want a cancel that?
That'll cost you $300.
Yes.
All right.
Let me speak to Conrad and see if he can cancel it for you.
He probably can't.
He's not very good at that, you know?
I'd love to serve you dinner.
Unfortunately, yes, up to Conrad today,
and he's a completely unreliable person.
All right, for the ladies we have cancel a trip from Prague and for the gentleman we have a,
I've been trying to do it all afternoon. So Han and Brick are talking and Han and Gus,
there is one uncomfortable polity. All right, like on I've been dating corn red alright well even I
wouldn't sit there and because it's so full man this is like the evil stepmother
and having his even on the request seat it says she enjoys hanging out with the
family and all the perks that come with it who talks like that I was like you just
bragged about boyfriends buying you cars like literally last week
I mean this is more awkward than going to Prague alone and then having to cancel your flight from Prague alone
so Collins with
Collins with Hannah and canas like
She's got like some she's getting ready for the next course and he's like oh you need some forks You want some for she's like oh I have some in my hand honey and also isn't this funny
This is the first time we talk to each other all season long.
He's like, oh, well, if you need some more forks,
I can wash some.
She goes, I want to bat you.
And he's like, oh.
I have a dish on instead of washing the forks.
Why don't you cancel my fly from frog?
Is this a part where he's like, hey, Brooke,
why don't we do some improv classes?
And she gets, all right then.
And he goes, hey, Brooke, I've got a hot dog.
You want it?
And she goes, yeah, I want a hot dog.
Yeah.
She starts doing, well, this is like slightly later,
but it doesn't really matter.
And she goes, she starts doing some weird American accent.
She's like, oh, I'm Brooke from from the look and I speak a little sitting here what's the
matter for Gita Baudit for Gita B it hot dog hot dog type of Skype if anyone's
gonna slip with the fish it's gonna be me because that's a slay for someone. What an odd asleep with the creatures on the
ocean.
So Joao meanwhile is downstairs, is like, can I crack you back for you?
Okay, so you need to back crack. So of course, you fully does the whole thing where you
know, it's like copying a feel. It's like the reverse, it's like the bear hug crack back
thing, you know, copying a feel and upstairs at dinner, it's just awkward silence.
Like they are just not talking.
And like the most intelligent conversation gets is when the dad goes, Hey, look back over
there. And they all turn.
It's just like another boat and someone goes, it's another boat.
Yeah.
And then it's like the daughters, is this where the daughter starts going crickets,
crickets, something like that.
Like crickets, crickets and the girlfriend that. The daughter's like crickets, crickets,
and the girlfriend goes,
I'm saying how boring we really are.
I mean, I'm not boring by we, I mean you.
And the kid goes, you know what?
You don't have to talk the whole time.
And she goes, in my world I do.
And the kid goes, yeah.
It's so good.
There was like a full on like Edward Albe play, like unraveling upstairs at this dinner, you know.
So then after, oh, and did you catch one of the husbands, one of the young guys, he's just like so over it.
His eyes are closed and he's chewing like he's in ecstasy. He's like, yeah.
Yeah. He's like an on his own show over there in the corner
Just miserable so then everybody starts going to bed and the dad goes guys just so cold in that room and the and his girlfriend says
Oh, it's cuz I'm in there with yeah
He goes it's cool. It's cold, but in the room. It's hot and she's like because I'm in there and the dogs are like oh
gross
I thought she was being funny. She's
being disgusting. They all they all hate each other so much that like it's like 10 to 15
and they've all gone to sleep. Yeah. So Colin has decided he would live with regret if he
never told Brooke how he really felt because you know what? He's been in the friend zone and he's
got to do something to take himself out of the friend zone So he like goes up to her. She's like like they're downstairs and he's like um so
God, I don't know if I should do this. Oh come on call you get together. Colley. Oh, what does mom always say?
You're your better and your better your best and never let it rest until your your better and your better and your best and oh god I'm messing it up.
Um, um, if it's first you don't succeed by another pair of sneakers.
GQ Colley you can do it GQ.
So um, uh, so Brooke, hey, hey Colley here.
Oh, why did I see that?
So, um, since the first week, I've had a thing for you and, uh, uh, and you know just like his mom is in the corner.
Like, go get him, Collie! Go get him! She's at the port hole.
She's like, I got you, I'm so happy!
And he's like, oh my god, I've loved you ever since I ever since I first met you.
Like improv. And she's like, what didn't you tear her make-hole in? And he's like, oh my god. I've loved you ever since I ever since I first met you like improv
And she's like what didn't you tear me colon? And he's like well, I just didn't know how cuz she started cuddling
And then I would just go the other way
Unlike Casey
Look, I'm sorry I didn't want to make you feel bad and he's like I'm not trying to get in the middle
I mean how oh god, well I think I would want to do is get in the middle of a triangle because then I'd just be a stick. Ting the triangle. Actually that makes a wonderful rhythm
and I've got a major in music. Have I mentioned that? Yeah I mean if I if I'd be given another
point in your triangle then we become a square and everyone knows that a triangle is the most stable
sort of shape in the world and like I would never want an unstable shape for you brookle. Although his
mom always points out and the effort loving he we Lewis it's hip to be square right?
That's the power of love! Oh the heart of rock and roll!
The trite! So um Brooke is like...
I love you so much as a person. He's like...
much as a person. He's like, that's definitely a part of me that wishes I could tell my heart. I get some eyes. He drives a fairer. He's got so, he's got so many
sneakers and lots of washes. But I can't see him anymore. It melts me heart.
He treats women with respect and that's just the worst
quality I could ever ask for in a lava!
Say he's like, well I feel better that she knows who knows what will happen down the
road.
And then he just stares off into space while he's in bed.
His heart just goes off.
I can't worry.
For a guy.
Meanwhile up in the bridge, Conred's on watch
and Hannah's sitting there typing, like,
loud the honor to be here, like, type, type,
like this is the sound of me having to change my travel plans.
She's like, well, I just consulted with Hone Airlines
and says they have a sweetheart deal, sweetheart,
and turns out, okay, cancel my flight without spending $200.
So I guess I'll just spend $200 on
canceling my flight from Prague, which I have yet to do. And he goes really, and he just
walks out, and she goes at least pretend to be a gentleman in offer to pay. I mean,
I wouldn't take it, but at least try anyway. I'll see if they...
Let's see if they have some sort of discount that they can offer
for people who've been dealing with Cheapass hon-ass. So Conrad immediately goes to Adam and this
is why you should never listen to anybody's problems because you just become the whipping post,
okay? So he goes up to Adam and Adam's like, what happened? You're too happy
with all that fresh Mexican Italian food I put under, so ran back for you like a real customer.
And Conrad's like, well she's trying to blame the whole broke thing on me, it's costing
her money. And he goes, look, I'll give you each 100 bucks to shut up about it. Right?
Pop up air it. Right? Pop up here, tired. I've actually never really like sympathized with
Adam as much as in that moment. I was like, you know what, I'm actually a little bit on Adam's side here.
So now we go out to like the outside to one of the decks and Casey's cleaning up a table, as well as wiping down something or another.
And basically she's like,
Hey, Chihuah! Everyone thinks that out of Florence,
you and Brooke are gonna break up!
So he's like, really?
Actually, I would love to see you after this.
How long is the flight to Zimbruku, Papa?
And he's like, well, what?
Can I just ask you does
everyone on this bit think that me and Brooke won't make it and she is yeah everyone thinks
you're gonna be split says after flow flow and Katie tells us I think this is where I'm
asking me how I feel like now you're projecting a decent personality on to somebody who's
basically talking about how he's gonna go cheat on his girlfriend with you
I mean come on and then she's like maybe it's not gonna break out after Florence because maybe he's meant to be with someone else
And he goes I don't think I'm ready for the type of commitment she wants unless it's you
Yeah, I'm so so she, I'm committed to Brooke,
but how long does that last four? Yeah, it's well, if you're questioning how long it last
four, then you're not really committed. And also he's like, I just don't want to be held
back by anyone. I'm like, don't like stop playing that on brick. Like that is such an obnoxious
move. Like, oh, I just can't be held back. I'm a free spirit. I'm Zimbabwe's greatest hope.
Like, you know what?
Like, shut up.
Like, you, she's not holding you back.
You're acting like a dickwad right now, okay?
And she's just expecting the bare minimum
out of a relationship, okay?
So don't put it on to Brooke.
Like, you are the one whose light is being extinguished, sir.
No.
Stupid Casey, say, okay, then tell me one thing.
That night, who kissed who first?
And he's like, oh, I kissed her.
Did she say you otherwise?
And she's like, no, I just wanted to know for a piece of mine.
Like, she just figured out the most romantic piece of information ever.
Like, he's like, nope, I chose her over you.
And then, he goes, he goes, oh, sorry.
No, go ahead, you probably get it right in my family.
I know, I'm like, hey, there's a boat over there.
She goes, do you know what?
If I, I can't.
No, I mustn't.
No, I would say.
I shouldn't.
But go ahead and say it, because I already said it to Jamie,
so you do it.
And he goes, no, you do it.
She's like, you do it.
All right, well, if I hadn't gotten that from the table that night,
that wouldn't have happened.
Absolutely right.
A million percent right.
Like ew, so disgusting.
And again, it's like, what, like, you're,
it drives me nuts because a, he's playing a mind game with her.
Like he's happy to feel better.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, role in this like a he's enjoying filling her with regret and be like what what
sort of dude is like like oh like if she had been there it would have been
told like if you'd stayed there it would have been totally different like what
like that's not like a you don't have a relationship like that like that's
like just says that you're just a shallow fuck. You know? Yeah, yeah. Mommy's a joao.
Yeah, a joao.
You can't say shallow without a joao.
A joao.
You can't say whoa, without a joao.
Whoa.
You know what I'm gonna say?
A joao, wow.
And I don't care if it's a microaggression.
You know, I'm actually insulted
if it's a microaggression
because it needs to be a macroaggression.
Yeah, just a...
He's a fuck face, okay?
There's an hour in aggression aggression. Fuck that guy. He doesn't. And a fuckface, okay? There, it's an out-of-the-gression aggression.
Fuck that guy.
He's a fuckface.
And, uh, fuck Casey too.
That's not a very good friend.
And fuck everybody for letting
Drow just get away with this shit.
Oh, yeah.
Okay?
Fuck all you guys.
Oh, fuck him.
I'm gonna get my Louisville slugger.
Yeah, fuck all you guys.
All right, well, we are out of here.
That was for the R.C.
For today. Good, good, good, good, good, good tickets.
Shows coming up in Denver, New York City, Seattle, and Nashville.
Before 2018 is out, succumbed to us.
Also, go get your garsh shirts, go get some Hannah Athletic Wear,
just go follow her on Instagram and find the links for that good stuff.
And, I'll think, there is O-B-N.
That's it, that's stuff. And I think that is all mean. That's it. That's it. So everyone, we'll
be back tomorrow to discuss, oh, real housewives of New York. What a joy. What a joy for us.
Yes, we will see you tomorrow. Bye, everybody. Bye. you you Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
the Amazon Music app today.
Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about
yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.
with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast.
Before you go, tell us about yourself
by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.