Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Not Kosher
Episode Date: June 7, 2018The Great Gatsby takes over Below Deck Mediterranean. Will literary greatness be able to overshadow the douche magnetism of the guests and Jao? Probably not. Enjoy! This week's bonus is about... Newsies the musical and terrible endings to great TV shows. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts!
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Hello everybody, welcome to Watch What Crapin', the podcast about all that crap we'd love
to talk about on yo bros, I'm Ronnie Caram, from the Roast Pricks Bachelor podcast,
and here I am with my
gorgeous little friend and co-host Ben Mandelker of the Beside Blog and the Banta Blinter.
How's it going, Ben?
It's going very well, thank you. Just ready to jump on a mega yacht myself and sail off into the ocean.
Well, I hope your vagina's feeling okay after that second blow lady came last week.
Um, so no, okay. We'll swampy in there today. Everybody, we are going back on the road
in a couple of weeks. We'll be in Phoenix and then San Francisco this month, Phoenix
we're going to be doing greenhouse wasves of New York live. And then in San Francisco
for gay pride, we'll be doing Southern charm live. So get over there.
We also have our limited edition shirt for the month, which is our, what's
the matter? What's going on? What's happening?
Shirt from Real Housewives of New York.
That is available until the end of June.
You can find tickets and shirts over at watchwetcrapins.com.
Go over there.
We're also doing a little digital TV show thing on TV party app, which is super fun. I came out today or this week rather so go listen to it
Yeah, I'm going to watch those because those are fun. Those are fun. I really enjoy doing those with you
Yeah, you teabed my little bean. Oh
Hugs me right now. Feel my hug. So now it's time for it
me right now. Feel my hug. So now it's time for it. Duh, duh, duh, duhellody. But the end still goes dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun I was in Mendocino Farms on Friday. Yeah. And Danny from Below Dex season one was there.
Danny was the guy who fell in love with like every charter guest,
including that waitress from the tipsy kilt.
And he was also like the worst ever.
So he was there.
He was shockingly cute.
I mean, I know he was cute on the show, but he was like just like cute.
But in real life, I was like, oh, he's cute.
Yeah, he's like a cute little guy.
Yeah.
And you know, if you're ever with the pack of hose
on a yacht, he'll distract him for you.
Yeah, I love that you remembered the tips he killed.
God, you've got a memory on you.
Well, because I'd never heard of it before,
and I thought it was the most hilarious stupid name.
And apparently it's a chain sort of like hooters, you know,
with its chain and there's like girls and like cute keltz.
And then when I went to Phoenix,
back at like two years ago,
there was a tilted kilton Phoenix
and I was like, oh my god, like,
Danny from below deck med.
So maybe when we go to Phoenix for our show,
we'll go to the tilted kilt.
The tilted kilt.
Probably not.
The tipsy kilter, the tilted kilts. I thought it was called the tilted kilt The tilted. Probably the tipsy kilter the tilted kilts.
I thought it was called the tilted kilts. Is it called the tipsy kilts?
No, I think I'm just I'm just projecting Sonya Morgan onto that.
That well that's gonna be her next branch. Like well I have some investors in from
Santro pay. We're gonna open up a restaurant called the tipsy kills.
So speaking of tipsy kilts, let's get on this boat. We're starting where we last left off with Sandy getting mad at Hannah and the break
because Hannah is spending her time doing provisions instead of serving the customers.
Sandy's like, you are being paid, Hannah, on a super yacht to take care of these customers.
It's not fair, Hannah.
It's not fair.
It's not fair that you're not getting you might dry toast right not fair Hannah. It's not fair. It's not fair that you're not
getting you might dry toast right now Hannah. And then Hannah's like,
I'm crawling so I win. So she runs away and the captain's like,
un-be-ly-va-ball-ba-na-na. God, I love that man. I can't say man.
Say Hannah pushes away the camera. And then, so she just goes into the bathroom and cries.
And the meantime, Jamie has to take this big bag of trash
up the boat.
And she gets just walk far in it.
And I thought this was going to be a whole thing,
because she's like, I'm OK.
I can take this.
I can take this.
It'll be a 45 minute walk with a trash.
I'll be OK.
I'll be OK. And I was like, oh, here the trash. I'll be okay, I'll be okay.
And I was like, oh, here we go.
It's gonna be like Jamie's trash drama, but it never became anything.
I'm so sad.
No, she's not gonna complain, because she's like,
fine, I'll leave, I get to take out the trash.
It's all I've been wanting to do.
No more toilet cleaning, a bedmaking for me.
It's me, Jamie, with the trash for 45 minutes on a trek.
With the trash on my deck hand
I was so excited because comrades like did you double did you double bag that and she's like oh show did and I was like
Oh, she did not double bag it and like 20 minutes into it her trash bag is gonna rip open and she can have to carry all this trash
Loose trash in her arms for another 20 miles or whatever and none of it happened. I was like so
another 20 miles, whatever. And none of it happened.
I was like, so invested in this story already.
Well, I was more invested because it was not Conrad.
It was actually Zhao, who was like,
was a Zhao who said that.
Oh, those double-baked shut up Zhao.
Oh, I see.
It was setting up for a later on.
Yeah, she said him being an asshole for later on.
Well, thank you for correcting me.
So Hannah's like, welcome crying in the bedroom.
And they show a close-up of her cigarettes on her bed. And I'm like, I love that they're
making this like the cigarettes are crying because it just keeps cutting back to the
close-up of the cigarettes. Cheers for nicotine. Yeah, she's like, I'm crying, I'm crying,
I'm crying. Good morning everyone. Does anyone want any dry toast? Because we can certainly
make that very quickly.
Listen, I'll get to dry toast to you in about 20
on minutes this time.
Don't say I don't improve.
On air.
On air.
So.
So anyways, the guest pack and they leave.
And it's like, goodbye, everyone, et cetera.
So now it's the tip meeting.
And they all sit down and Sandy is not happy.
She is not in a happy place.
Normally I like to sit down and be like,
good job everyone.
Everyone take a nap and give yourself a pat on the back.
Maybe get ready for nice little brains,
dinner to celebrate, but not this time.
This time here's what I got to say.
You're lucky that lady had a vagina sucker and a blower
because she left happy no matter what. Okay. And I also like that they pretend that the
tip has anything to do with their service because people come on with a lot of cash.
Where do you think they're getting that? Are they just like running off to Wells Fargo to get that?
No, they came with that cash prepared, okay? Yeah, I don't know how they do that. That's a good question.
So yeah, so like, so Tindy is like, this is the worst breakfast I have ever experienced
on a yacht. I mean, this was out of control. No bananas, no brandsino, no fried, panchetta,
or brazudo.
Um, yeah, she's like, it took so long to get some egg atom and what about the toast atom?
He's like, oh, and then the return of atom. It's a return of certainly little asshole baby atom,
which I love because as much as I like people turning over a new leaf and changing for the better,
I don't believe it's really possible or real, whatever it happens. So it's nice to see little whiny ass
Adam back. Welcome home, buddy.
Yeah, because I didn't even get my toast until I finished
my omelet and Adam's like, well, how about you talk
about how amazing my dinner was last night?
And she goes, all right.
Now I'm getting pissed.
Can't you tell?
You hear that?
How pissed I am?
You hear that rage anger in my voice? Oh, I'm getting pissed
Now I want you to listen to my breath leave my nose very slowly
If I'm not happy with the fucking toast coming out on time don't say I need a little help with my toast
I was like, what huh?
I'm trying to remind you that I served up like an amazing amazing dinner last night
Like I said, the toast was a little too dark and I wanted to be a little lighter and it
was too wet.
I'm not going to cuddle you Adam.
Now come here, my little baby.
Let me give you a hug.
So then she's like, and the tender con red member of that.
He's like, yep, sorry about that.
And if it can happen again.
And she's like, eh, smile.
Smiles. Smiles. You's like, Oh, smile.
Smiles. You know, this is a smile.
Yeah, he's like, he sure got he's some slain Mars right now, because he got his and that's called Zimbabwe Revenge.
So Sandy brings brings Adam upstairs the bridge so that she can have a
private talk with them. And she's
based like, what the heck does service have to do with food? What's going on?
And I'm like, well, the toast was ready this morning. Just no one to, no one picked
it up. And I didn't even know about it. It was too late. And I was just sitting
there. Wasn't my fault. Yeah, then Hannah here is it and she just walks
through. She's like, look at me pretending to be on the phone while I'm walking through here. You son of a bitch trader. She goes, good for you, honey. Save your own ass.
Yeah, you think you can throw a bus? I can throw a bus hat, honey.
You throw me under the bus and guess what? That bus crashes, honey.
Do three, throw me under the bus van liver.
just honey. Do three through me under the bus van liva.
So yeah, he's like, don't hate me, Sandy.
I do everything right.
She's like, you know, what did we learn today?
He's like, that I'm really good.
And she's like, toast.
That's what we like.
Toast class.
Toast.
Don't take it personally.
Did I say you suck at toast?
No.
I just said the toast could have gotten there faster.
You're greater to us all here. Let's hug the toast together
So then we get a close up a
Sandy hugging toast and then
We cut to a close-up of this gelatinous spaghetti in a tin that is so disgusting. It's jellyfish
It's disgusting, okay, and so
It's disgusting, okay? And so, Zhao is flirting with his lady, his new lady in the crew mask.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, Comp Pour Colin is just trying to get through a goddamn meal.
You know, it's like it's bad enough I have to eat this spaghetti without listening to your
gross ass.
Yeah.
So basically, Casey asks about what was the scar onawa's eye? He's like, well, I'll
head to Library of Rings and one got ripped out in the fight. It's what you're doing in the Zimbabweans.
In the Zimbabwe, people believe in keeping your eyebrow rings in. And I was like, I'm gonna fight
against the system and rip it out. And I was like, Ouch, scar. And she's like, wow, I like scar.
She's like, oh, you do? Oh, well, I've got tons of them. I've got this one. One time I bought a belt.
It was a little too tight for me
Button's and Bob, or you take whatever belt to remember on the rack. All right. So I got it
I'll sit down in it. I had a little bit more of a tummy and poked through and it got a little hole right here
I bleed I bleed this one here's from from some loafers
I was gonna match the loafers with a belt, but guess what they chiefed the back of my heel
So I got a little scar back there. I called a loaf of scar
One time I left my keys out and my hut and the Bob way couldn't find them but guess what, they chased the back of my heel. So I got a little scar back there. I called it loaf of scar.
One time I left my keys out and my hut and the barbed wire
couldn't find them.
So I kicked down the mud wall, got a little scar on my toe right here.
Because a little boy, I had some diaper reaction
so he've scoured me for life.
So it's sort of like an invisible scar,
but it's a scar nonetheless.
One time I had this eye bugger, it got so crusty
and I didn't want to wipe it and bear it for myself
and it got so crusty that when I finally did wipe it, it got a little cut me out.
One time I was trying to put a bunch of papers together with an alligator clip and I wasn't
being attention and I attached the clip to my arm.
I made a little dent, so I got a little scaff in the alligator clip.
I wasn't bitten by an alligator, just got an alligator clip scaff.
And that's just right here.
You want to see my penis?
It's like, oh jeez.
We don't need to go over your scab history, okay?
And here's my little inflatable scab.
This is actually from the Lion King. I just can't sleep without it.
And that colon's like, keep it in your pants, bro.
And then Brooke is just looking on like...
Look at me having a bear watching innocent laughs.
Everything crumbles before me eyes.
I said I didn't want him to flirt with me, but now I must have unrequited love from across the creamies.
And then we get a close up of the deft-um-and-blind cat that's always there on the deck, which the what a cute little cat.
What a cute little troubled cat.
I haven't even noticed the cat. You know, I love cats. Yes, it's like this cat has been through hell,
but he's just hanging on. Okay. Yeah. Well, he got on with the passor ale. Maybe if someone
were guarding the passor ale, it wouldn't have been an issue. I'll tell you someone would die.
Well, it's funny speaking of cats, because everyone starts dressing, getting dressed to go out and Jouaos is casing goes oh hello
oh like ew he's so gross and they're brook sitting there watching him so he's
wearing I don't know he's wearing like one color pants and shirt and then
Collins wearing the same except their opposite or certain
answer whatever and so I was like oh look at all 69. And yeah, because I think
I think Khan is like, we're like, you know, yeah, he's like, it's like our close is 69.
And that's what's happening. I'm like, you're even sexist towards close. Just yeah, just
wrote yourself into that volcano. And why please?
Um, you're the reason the mannequins and old Navy don't have a face. Okay. You're the
reason why mannequins don't come alive anymore, honestly.
Like, what's the point?
So now they go and they, um, they're all eating sushi.
It was like the most like the panciest restaurant they've ever gone to in all the
blow decks. And it's like my half school years.
Let me tell you, it's called Sushi Stop, it's fancy.
So, Joao is looking at, is, I think he tells Brooke,
or maybe it's Casey, I don't know, but he's like,
I really like that dress, honestly.
Honestly, well thanks a lot Joao.
I'm so glad that you got your approval, you know?
It's hard to broke about how, I think it was to Brooke,
because then he was like, you know what, I hate that,
we both like cucumber and Hendrix. I that like we both like to come but in Hendrix
I hate how we all we always like the same cocktails. She's like
Mr. Dassy
Yeah, she was really like everything was very romantic to her in this
Yeah, everything is like a jazz. It's just like he's how strong the table with his elbows on the fucking table
Guzzling is wine like well, you know one is when Jay where, but Jail's above never comes eight when I'm just trying to mean
Dricks leads to his deendricks. And I just love that they sat him right next to
a refrigerator that just brought me up through the whole thing.
I should sat him next to a plane propeller. Yeah. So Casey is, Casey is like watching
this whole thing and she's like, I see what he's doing. He's just flirting
with someone else. And like, I could what he's doing. He's just flirting with someone else.
And like I could see myself with him
if he just like lived up to his potential,
but that probably won't happen.
I'm gonna sleep now.
Yeah, I'm exhausted.
And the girls are both talking about how attractive
they are to this prince.
And then it cuts to him making an napkin bra.
Oh, fucking guy.
Oh my god. Seriously. Seriously.
So Adam is like, you know, never wanted to shy away from the passive aggressive moment.
He's like, this is a good restaurant.
They have excellent service.
Hannah.
Hannah.
Wow, they've got good service.
And what would happen if we asked them for some toast?
Huh?
How about the waiter would tell the kitchen about it, huh?
If food comes out so hot and fast, she's like,
wait, see it, I've had enough.
I'm going to get a snack.
I'm going to get a giant snack.
So I was my 23 year old yellow loser.
So she goes out there and a conrad followers her.
And he's like, you're right.
Everything you do is correct.
Although I love that everything you do is the right.
It's like, I just don't know what it is.
I'll see you back.
What it is I'll see in corner head.
I'm like, it's called being a yes man.
Yeah, I was like,
gladly share him with you, okay?
And inside Casey's like, she's like,
I hold my chopsticks the way I hold my violin.
And everyone's like,
but you play violin and draw out just like,
it's like gross eyebrows.
Like you're like oh sexy
What do you get let me lemon lemon lemon let you play with my bow all right
Sure, I took me a minute to think of what you play a violin with
You play a violin with my penis. That's how you do it in the Bob way
I've been in many a skin orchestra get it everyone
That's how I got my violin scare you are so yet how well you're skin flute
we can do a congeo tour together so outside hannis oh god just i just keep writing close up
onto our space eyebrows sexy close up onto our face like food come again while he's flirting
and brook is still trying to understand how case you could possibly play violin she's like like food Kamigat while he's flirting. Ugh. Haze. Yeah.
And Brooke is still trying to understand how Kase could possibly play violin.
She's like,
I don't understand how she can play violin.
I mean,
she's
she
and violin is violin.
And I don't understand how the concepts go together.
But it is so romantic.
I bet whenever she's reading the sheet music
and a rest note comes up she takes an app
Oh, I wonder if Casey ever fell in love with her violin
So then outside
Hannah's like so corn red headed to get to be so high-lady and he's like well
He's like my real mom and my real dad have been separated since I was two.
My dad said it was my fault because my stepmom didn't like me, so it wasn't very nice.
And she's like, that's why you highlight your hair. Is it? Come here honey.
Honey. Honey, I know you're trying to find the sunny side of life after that, which is why you highlight your hair.
This made me realize I should just let it in go.
Just let him do what he wants.
I don't want to hell with the chatter.
He's like, yep, that's exactly what I was talking about.
So they all pile back onto the boat.
And Hannah and Conrad had up to a deck where Hannah now does her patented beginning of the season.
I don't know what you call it.
It's not like sortacious behavior. It's just like I'm gonna stick my head right here
Forward and I'm gonna wait for you to kiss me. Thank you very much
She's like I like talking to you and and he's like you know, I want to go to you. She's like
Are we just birdies? Is that what's going on here?
Honey, honey
He's like just like some time with me. I'll just need Tom
Take some time with me. I'm like need Tom. Talk some time with me.
I'm like, what?
What novel are you in?
I know.
I just need time.
Oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Hammerflirts away, I flirt.
She stands outside and smokes cigarettes
and whoever comes up has caught in the web.
And that's it.
And she just makes like crazy eye contact.
And then like, they'll be like,
lose someone walking by. And they match her eye contact. She goes like, they'll be like, we'll leave someone walking by
and they match our eye contact.
She goes,
this right here,
this is chemistry, huh?
Don't you feel like kissing someone right now?
Honey.
Honey.
This is a little bit of a nice,
close mouth kissing.
And she's like,
I can't even talk about it on a,
oh, I'm so hated right now.
Hated.
Um, so next, it's 7 AM, eight hours before Oh, I'm so heated right now. Heated.
So next, it's 7 AM, 8 hours before Charter. In case you think.
Oh my God.
Now what the boat is going to move.
And I'm going to be on the boat while it moves.
And I'm only going to take one pill today,
because it's time for me to prove myself. ...
...
Anyway.
She's already asleep.
So down in the crew mess, Joao is now flirting with her
and Brooke is there too, and Brooke is like,
well, I do like Joao, but now I see that Casey in Joao
might be flitting, and I did say I need some space,
but with only half-mentar that or not I still said it what a hopeless
romantic I am I'm not quite in love from Joao I think I'm gonna put my head in this
microwave oven right now see if anybody stops me I think I'm gonna go walk
out in the rain and maybe a consumption Because I'm so heart sick
She's like walking under her hose
She's like, I can't hold the hose up
I'm gonna stand out here
I'm gonna be sick
There's a bit of blood
I'm afraid my days are not that joow
Please, can't find love if this won't. Please, I hope you find love with Casey.
Juao. He's like all the way here. Thanks for ruining the story, but Grimit. He's like, she's like, has a fever. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm just glad I've just learned I've come into an inheritance. I want you to have it.
So speaking of inheriting, um, I don't know if this has nothing to do with inheritance,
but um, in case she's trying to do laundry and she's like, Hannah, can I put red things
in with the black things and the white? And it's like, honey, you're a full grown woman.
You're that and I had a deep laundry, honey.
Your honey is turning into patty with honey.
Honey.
And all the basic lengths of stocking
was looked on as something shocking, honey.
And then she's like, OK, honey, could you
not put my delicate in the drawing, please?
Thank you.
Never worn some underwear before.
It's dumb slag.
All right, cruise, sandy, sandy, cruise, sandy, cruise, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy, sandy Honey Sarshar. Yes, that's her only name, Honey Sarshar.
Not Honey Boo Boo, Honey Sarshar.
Honey Sarshar.
So you know this is just gonna be a pain in the ass of Drey.
Yeah, her name is Honey.
Okay, her name is Honey.
It's a problem.
Have we ever met a low maintenance honey?
I don't think so.
Not one, honey.
Honey, honey.
Yeah, if you're named after Hannah's anger word,
then that's a problem.
Honey.
Basically, your name is equal to Hannah's tradition.
So.
Honey.
So honey, Sarchar, she's from Los Angeles, of course.
From Santa Monica, specifically, she's born. I think I looked at her as much as I
could from the preference sheet as much as I could tolerate, and all I took from it was
I think that she was raised in Santa Monica, so I'm already like, problem.
So and then they're like, she's got kosher.
I was like, oh no, it's my people.
It's my people.
Oh no, they're going to increase the weight of antisemitism in the country.
I can already feel.
Sandy's like so how loud?
No, wait, she's like so coaster.
Sure. She's like, you guys know what that mean?
And the hammock goes, well, it's religious, right?
I'm just like, well, yeah.
And I'm like, oh my God.
He's like, here we go.
One time I had these kosher people who didn't want me anywhere on the boat.
I had to get rid of every piece of meat.
Fortunately, I had a cooler, so I saved it.
Still a mv.
It's aging.
You know what they talk about?
Like a 30 day age beef.
This is a 30 year age beef.
Well, I was actually surprised because, you know, if you're really kosher, you have like
two sets of dishes.
Some people do have like two kitchens. I think I could be wrong, but you have like
There is like a whole code that's like very strict and I was like, how are they gonna make this kitchen a kosher kitchen?
But you know, I as long as the food was kosher, but he's like, yeah, I know how to do it
I've cooked for many kosher people before. I'm like well obviously not because later on you tried to serve her shrimp
So well that was to the vegan oh
I thought that he but I thought that he served hers. I don't know. I got very confusing kosher
Those are very confusing as someone who worked the Fairfax district for years and years. Oh my goodness
Because that neighborhood is Hacidum and they they need their kosher, you know
And finally the chef was like, no,
I won't do it.
Well, it's not the hardest thing in the world to follow. I mean, you basically don't
sort of like meet and dairy together, no shellfish. And then yet the rules with meat are
the animal has to have four stomachs and has to chew its cudd. Is that what it was? Or
maybe, yeah, four stomachs chew its cudd and have like cloven hoofs,
which means that like pigs are ineligible, basically pigs.
There's some other ones I forget which ones.
Um, you're like, it's not difficult.
No, no, but I'm just gonna have to have five.
Do I make sounds?
No, no, but like it's sort of like, it makes sense in its own way.
It's like it's easier to make, like, I think with birds,
there's, the birds, there was like some Lucy Goosey rule no pun intended it's kind of like if
it's like a commonly eaten bird it's okay so like chickens fine and dairy
poor chicken and the bird is already sat upon by society the new thing is the
preparation is also part of it too so like it has to the animals have to be
slaughtered in a way they have to like be that their necks have to be cut like the when they're slaughtered
It's like they're next have to be cut in certain way. So it's as little pain as possible for the animals and like
Chickens have to be salted in a certain way in a rabbi. I was like oh, it's it's it's a process, but it's not complicated
Of course, this is
the Bentley. Yeah, that's the professional. But yeah, so they've
got all these rules because not
only is it kosher, there is
somebody. Helio is harder by
Helio is harder. Sweet potatoes
okay, but a regular potato
isn't come on. Yeah, yeah, it's
a lot. Well, my sister is
gluten free. So it's like the
modern day kosher. Like
everything has to be prepared on
a different calendar than the
thing. It's like it's a whole
big thing. And I've heard and I've heard the drill in many restaurants. So any hazels. So now the deck. Oh, sorry. Go ahead.
Well, as you can say, not only do they are they're going to be is honey, glad kosher, but also honey
wants a gas party that night and she wants 194242 to Kila and they also want a slide
Yes, so they have to get this 1942 don't who Lee yeah
So let's see outside the deck. Council working and it's Jamie's break so she takes a break and she oversleeps 10 minutes or something
Yeah, and wow is like we see we see wasn't sleeping was watching sleeping lady care and Conrad is off the boat
So he's the boss now. Yeah, so he's he's looking for her and Jamie's just still napping and meanwhile
Broken Hannah are looking over the preference sheet and Brooks like I've eaten oh good and I was like I don't trust the vegans
Sorry vegans, but that was funny.
I don't trust people who don't slot animals.
So Joao is still looking for Jamie, looking, looking, looking,
and then she finally comes up to the deck
because she overslept 15 minutes and he's like,
listen, listen, you know what, you can't do that.
We're working up here and you didn't sleep
and we don't know what you, where you are,
and she's like, oh, I got an apple.
Can I step for an apple 15? Well, we're working, are and that And she's like, oh I got an apple all for the last of the day over 15
Well, we're working are you wearing you in?
That's a lot sorry. It's like why are you giving me so okay?
I'm she's like I'm not yes
Yeah, look at you. I was like he is just he's the fucking worst this fucking guy
I know he's so kind of sending this attitude problem. Conrad isn't here
I'd like to know what you're doing. I know one thing you're not doing you're not getting the piss and real
Conrad isn't here. I'd like to know what you're doing. I know one thing you're not doing you not get in the piss and reel
If someone dies on this bit. It's because I eat past the rail or Jamie Jane
Did you see a cat got on and that's because no one's at the pass the rail that's your cat now you own it your fault
Yeah, so she's like
She goes down to the dark and sob on the phone with to her mom and stuff Yeah, mean while Brooke is inside, like she's so acting like she's out of a British movie,
like she's fully like sense and sensibility in herself.
She's she's reading quotes from great Gatsby.
She's like, he looked at Daisy in a way that every young girl wanted to be looked at.
Oh, I hope that someday someone tries and crashes into a social item drives away and comes
up the crime just for me. I'm so thankful to have this film I will get to see a pre-fat Leo de Capriar.
Also romantic!
Sometimes I like to go into the refrigerator and stare at the eggs on the egg rack and
be like, that's West Egg and that's East Egg and here we are.
Angry and half in love with her and from ever-slessed to rare.
I turned away from Dr. Turs.
Oh!
Look at the light shining over there across the water.
It's like I'm mick looking across the way.
Oh, Lord.
Okay, so she said,
I want to bear this romantic as my parents were.
Oh my God, that's hot.
Okay, so then outside Jamie's on the phone with their mom.
I'm like, hello, mother.
Ruh!
Ha!
And Hannah just comes bounding out of nowhere.
She's like, honey, sad honey over there.
So she's like, I'm running out and across the passor-add
and starts consoling Jamie.
And then...
So you're a miracle worker, a life saver, I want a woman, honey. Across the passor-al and starts consoling Jimmy and then
Honey Me
You don't know what it's like to be on the inside and the outside it's like that movie inside out
Hello
Inside out I'm gonna on them! And how they go? I love that sound! And Sadar, I'm gonna quote it romanticly.
My favourite part of the insada was where love took the wheel that happened, right?
Pupomogia!
Oh, we're talking about the emergency movie.
Oh, my favourite film!
I thought it was the same movie!
I was just watching Coco! That's it. I was just watching Coco.
That's it. I was just watching Coco.
So Hannah says to Jamie, she goes,
honey, are you kidding me?
Are you kidding me?
And that makes Jamie feel better.
So, um,
so the provisions arrive, this kosher meat, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
And then again, we see Waltzing through the, through like this kosher meat, etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., etc., It is so Lisa Simpson that's pretty. And did you see when Brooks said when she was reading the question, you asked, Mr Fitzgerald, stop!
Stop with these endless quotes that speak directly to my heart, which is a flutter!
Let's start!
So I love rock-and-wine it gets crisp in the fall!
It's like Mr Fitzgerald himself has crossed the pass of hell over to my heart.
Oh, feel like please stop doing that. Don't do it again.
Oh, repeat the past. Of course I can.
There has never a time or place for true love.
I'm sorry, Conrad love. Duh. Hahaha.
I'm sorry, Conrad pulls over a jao and Jamie about this.
Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter
or in court.
I'm Matt Bellasife.
And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell.
Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened,
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We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin
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A seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed
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But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.
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How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully
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Fight thing that they had.
And he's like listen.
Listen.
Listen.
Here's what I want to know from you, Drow.
What did you tell her?
He's like, I told you to stop being such a lazy cat, Gold, Dan, and that's what-
He's like, well, that's the first problem when I'm not on the boat.
All you're supposed to do is clean things.
All right, yeah, because well, because first of all, I was told she was asleep for not only minutes
Not only minutes in Zimbabwe, we call it if you're sleeping. It's like yeah, so
That's time enough to take over in the tiles in Bobway Castle
Funny how is the wows
Funny how is the wows seems to have like no patience for Jamie and yet
Funny how does your wow seem to have like no patience for Jamie and yet here's the thing you know if Jamie were prettier not to be mean but like if
she were prettier Joa would be sort would be such that like oh well yes take that
extra 15 minutes like a good girl like you sit on the knees extra nap you know but
like it's this Jamie and he doesn't have he's not attracted to her in any way
he's like just like an asshole to her which is exactly what the sort of guy is it's not to say that she's not attractive but she's not attracted to her in any way, he's just like an asshole to her, which is exactly what this sort of guy is.
It's not to say that she's not attractive,
but she's not attractive,
she's not like Joao's type of girl, you know?
Yeah, oh he's so gross.
But I was glad I kind of was like,
your job is not supposed to be disciplining people,
just clean things, clean things.
Yeah, I mean, it's like we're the people
who are gonna down this boat,
Mok-Majawas! And then Joao's like way that's why people look on the down this about
And then dry was like he starts saying things like Conrads all a bit status and Hi, like you and yet when he's off the boat. He won't let me be part of the hierarchy
I'm like you're the one who said you hated hierarchy of two episodes ago. Yeah, make up your mind fool
So let's see so they get the people are cleaning and unloading whatever the boat or loading and unloading the what you know what I mean Hannah sees Brooke and she's like
kiss will
Conrad kiss me and she's like
Love planted a rose in the world to sweet
She's...
Love planted a rose in the world to en suite. Hahaha.
I looked at her the way all women walked.
They looked at my man.
Oh, she cried.
He looked so cool.
I love you.
I'm at rest with you.
I have come home.
Oh, Google.
Love is the silent saying and seeing of a single name
She's even nice about Jorawa. We see him down there. She's like this
They're confused and I'm not confused. You never see a simple mind
There is no charm equal to tenderness of heart
Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
By the way I like to take that real househouse to Shesha.
Fork of a meher accent to use down this recap.
Do you remember Harben?
She had the little bunny.
Do you remember her from real house? I'll say the test shirt.
Lauren, of course.
No, you're talking about, oh, you're talking about the red-headed one.
He's like, I love her.
Yeah, albana.
She's got albana.
Albana.
No, I just got distracted because I have like a website
up of romantic quotes.
And they're all things like Sylvia Plath and John Keats.
And then all of a sudden it says,
Ash and Kutcher, Lance Bass, Jennifer Aniston, like, what the fuck is happening to
the site?
Closing it.
Ashton Kutcher.
From sense and sensibility to that 70s show.
Thanks internet.
I'm going to a different one here.
Here's a British one.
I'm 35 of the most romantic quotes from literature. Thank you. And it says dot UK. This is where I'm going to call from next time we do that.
So Rick comes into the kitchen. She's like look, I printed up.
Romantic sounds and a very cute phone from the fifth beds.
I just have what my relationship to bed.
And Adam's like, that's awesome slag.
And she's like,
It's a romantic.
I love shifts.
This is the angry end up to stay at the end of chef's
one citadel at my head and called me a slag.
She's showing the headlobs my.
Hello, smug.
This girl is basically gonna fall in
first fall in love with the first person off the escalator. She has like fallen
love with a houseplant, okay. Your silence says so much about your strength
in your brain. You can let me in though. Let me in.
Did you have a whole way for the longest day of the year and the miss that? I always wait for the longest day of the year and then I miss that.
It's like, yeah, it's like you know my whole life.
In your life, I learn how to love in your beauty.
I don't have to make poems.
They're dancing so much.
Just for no one sees you.
But sometimes I do.
And that's how it becomes this art.
He's like, get the fuck out of my gallery.
Dude, did you mention, by the the way that one of the reasons why broke loves that Hannah and Conrad are together is because they're both in positions of power
She's like I say them a sort of being a forever couple, you know that both in positions of power
So it all seems like a perfect romance
God this girl like probably freaked herself to like down Abby
But in time of season, you know
So Adam's like yeah, thanks for coming in slag. I've been drunk for a week now
She's like and they thought it might so will you up to sit in the library? He's like no, I've just been drunk for a week now
You're talking about it all the way there is no heart for me like yours.
In all the world there is no love for you like mine.
It's like stop talking about my angeloon.
Get to work.
So me and my old Sandeys outside like,
you got the slide?
Whoa, good job.
Hugs, distant hugs.
Hey, duck hugs everybody, duck hugs.
You know it's so funny. I wasn't going to comment on the scene, but when I was writing notes, I was like,
I'm going to write a note that she says that's that way I don't skip ahead, because I know Ron is going to want to mention it.
Oh, yeah, I knew you were going to want to mention Sandy saying teamwork makes the dream work.
Yeah, teamwork makes the dream work. We not want not.
Teamwork makes the dream work. We not want not
So So the guests are about to come on board and Hannah's getting ready. She's like
Game on honey. I was like I love the fact that she's saying honey so many times this episode
She's like, honey, you know how to fold these napkins in case he's like
Well Not really. It's like all right, then here's how you do it.
Here's how you do it for appetizers.
Here's hair for entrees.
Here's when somebody has a birthday party
and he has a champagne full block, block, block.
Block, block, block.
All right, honey, it's a trifold.
She's like, that's what I was doing.
I was trying to fold it.
Neo, honey, it's a trifold.
Okay.
Casey's like. I was doing I was trying to fold it. Neo-Honey, it's a try fold. Oh. Oh. Oh.
Oh.
Casey's like.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, you're listening to me.
I'm busy.
Oh.
Oh.
There's like a clatter.
They're like, what happened?
Casey fell asleep while she was standing.
Casey gave a busy signal and then just fell down.
This is Kate. This is Casey and Hannah trying to work together.
The dude that you're trying to reach is unavailable at this moment.
Please hang up and try again.
For a knitwear press one for a net weight, press one.
For a stupid bitch, press two.
For a dota, bad press three.
For a honey, press four. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh I live whenever they show Casey putting on clothes and they just make it look like she doesn't know how to figure out which clothes to put on or like how to put on a shirt.
She just figured out the concept of sleeves. She's like, oh, I thought those were vents. So she's like, so they're all getting on there. She's like, Casey's just like Like ambling across the past around
So they all line up and of course here comes honey stars are
And her gang. It's like LAs find us right here like these people are the worst of Los Angeles
These are people that we see in this city all the time you go to earth cafe. This is the earth cafe crowd right here
Yes, or the path the crowd that you get stuck in behind, stuck in line behind
at the Grove trying to get on the park. I was about to say the Grove. Oh my god, Grove escalator people.
Yes, people who don't stand at the dancing water fountain in time, but then they push everybody out
of the way so they can be the first one to see the water dance to Frank Sinatra. Yeah, and they're
like, Latin, they talk in the movies. Yes. Oh, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful, awful.
Anyway, so they show up and, you know, saying hello.
I met at, like, for the very first second, they seem okay.
She's like, hi, I'm Honey Sarshar.
And then immediately we are going to do anything we can't
get your toast on time.
It's like, thanks.
Thanks, I guess.
Well, we give some champagne.
No, I'm like, can we do a tequila shot instead of champagne?
I'm like, you're trash.
Because here's why.
Here's why.
I love tequila.
Okay.
And I also love champagne.
But like, when you're like, every single cocktail, it's supposed to be tequila. It, and I also love champagne, but like when you're like every single cocktail, it's like you're trying too hard. Right now you were
trying too hard. Yeah, the champagne, it's part of the process. The champagne is not just champagne.
It's like it's like announcing you have arrived. It's sort of a celebratory moment. Welcome to
the boat. And like, tequila shots, shots, like just... Yes, they're gross.
And so they get in there and Hannah's like,
pull them to Keila shots.
She's like,
I'm so romantic.
So she pours in all these to Keila shots
and then they're like,
What?
That's what?
Yeah.
That's what she's like,
Chiquilla, did she order?
And they're like, no, this is not what we ordered.
It's the person that I'm not 10'4'2. And the guy's like, no, this is not where we order. It's the person that I'm not 1042.
And the guy's like, yeah, 1942. It's supposed to be 1942.
Yeah, this is 1942 to get like, this is tequila from 1942, but we want to keep 1942 to
Kila. And then I was like, all right, quiet, honey, quiet, honey. I mean, you're just like,
fuck, I can't say honey without getting her attention because her name is honey. I mean, you're just like fuck. I can't say honey without getting her attention because her name is honey
Honey
Yes, by the way, this is 1942. These guys are such assholes
Yeah, oh well, I mean so I get there really is it
Attentically, there is a difference like the 1942 as we see later on because I looked it up as this happened
I was like I'm gonna get to the bottom of this so it looks like a regular don Julio has 1942 on the label
But then there's like a 1942 iteration of Don Julio
that's gonna tall like skinny bottle,
which is what they really wanted.
I can't blame them for saying we want that 1942 tequila,
and then like they get different time.
You know, like if you say that on your preference sheet
and then they didn't get the tequila,
like I got it on the same,
like no, this isn't the tequila that we wanted,
but then they were so annoying about it
for the rest of the episode.
Like, is that 1942 in?
1942 in?
It's like, calm the fuck down.
You can, and don Julio is pretty damn good on its own.
So just relax.
Yeah, it's just how they go about it.
They're acquitted to kilo with the tequila.
It's warm.
It's too warm.
And then they're walking around the buckwing.
Is that anybody have a shot around?
Like, don't we mean anything to anybody?
Like, that's it.
Anybody know we're here?
Hello.
Are we going to get a tour?
What the hell happened, everyone?
No one cares about us anymore.
This is after they've sent off all the stews to go chill
down the tequila and do this and that.
Like, oh, where is everyone?
Does anyone?
Does anyone care that I have to go tinkle?
Oh, yeah, these people.
Actually, specifically, no.
Literally, no one cares that you have to go tinkle.
So that's the answer to that question. Yeah, these people are Actually, specifically no. Literally no one cares that you have to go to Inkulse.
That's the answer to that question.
Yeah, these people are awful, awful human beings.
And so we get one really quick shot of Casey trying to figure out an iron.
Oh my God.
She is staring at the iron and she turns it over and looks at it again.
I was just waiting for her to answer the iron.
Look, we used to make that joke about one of these people like ring, ring,
like answering the iron. And she's really looking at it like
Well, there was a kid in my own mind she did that and he had like a big red scar on his face for the rest of his life
So Casey would have really liked that
Well too bad he didn't grow up in this time because iron man's very popular. I know
Didn't done ch so then they go in the yacht tour, and they're looking all around,
and then like, honey and her friend are like,
ah, you know what this means?
Bubble bath.
I'm like, just take a sleeping pill, okay.
And wake up in 12 hours.
I can't deal.
Bubble bath.
Bubble bath.
Bubble bath.
I'm like, you know you could do that on LAN too, okay.
Welcome to Bubbles.
So Adam's like, Hannah, Hannah.
Uh-uh, it's Adam.
Anybody gonna eat?
What the fuck Hannah?
She's like, I'm the comahinct.
The guests, I'll scream,
we go for a bubble bath right now, you hear them?
We'll know what's gonna happen next.
We'll work in all night.
Yeah.
And Casey's ironing still.
And Hannah's like,
Casey, Casey, can you go clear the bag?
And Casey's like,
mmmm.
Mmm.
Mmm.
Oh.
Casey, your spit is coming out of your mouth.
Casey.
Casey, you're ironing your hand.
Your hand is flat.
So next up, Adam's like,
oh, gonna have a meeting with honey.
So honey, I just wanted to go over this with you.
So kosher vegan, vegan kosher.
La la la la la la, you're hot.
Can I touch your breasts?
Would you mind?
Okay, great talk.
It's like yeah, like kosher is like, but like vegan.
But like some people are kosher is like but like vegan but like some
people are closer and some people are and I'm like vegan but like not vegan
kosher. I looked up her Facebook and like all I could see it's mostly private
but she had like a picture I think from Mexico sure and. And I was like, oh, she would go to,
most of his name again, he did Mexico,
she was on top chef.
Oh, yeah, you did not like that guy.
You did not like that guy.
I was like, she would go to his restaurant.
So mad, it was mad at life.
Meanwhile, there's like a tall douche dude.
And he was like, hey, what happened to Don Julio 1942, huh?
1940, where are we? They're like, shut. Oh, hey, what happened to Don Julio in 1942, huh? 1940, where are they?
Like, shut.
Oh, yes, why do you mean gold everywhere, slick tear,
stupid denim, unbutton shirt?
Oh, where's the tequila?
Where's the tequila, huh?
Like, what?
It's like, hey, honey, did you realize you're in the water,
right?
You're in a sea, okay, just relax, okay?
Do you want, well, you want a helicopter to like,
drop it in, top gun style? Meanwhile, you want what you want a helicopter to like drop it in top gun style me while Casey is like it's
still more like Casey Casey can clear the back can clear the
bot just like this nausea medication turning me into a zombie and just like a
zombie I'm eating brains like you're eating a roll of toilet paper right now
okay the people right now. Okay. And honey is like, and everybody knows paying attention now.
How come no one's here to help us?
Okay, she's just eating a slice of bread on the,
on like outside like. Yeah, she's like,
nothing's got to have this like a yo right honey. And she's like,
you need a bean. She's like, yeah, I'm just like really
concentrating on not being seasick. I'm like you're staring at the water.
Eating a piece of whole wheat bread. Yeah, you're doing it wrong.
You have turned into a pigeon.
So, um, so,
me while Colin finally has something to say. He's like, oh my god, like I've never dropped an anchor before.
I mean, I'm a fairy, but like the very, the anchors on ferries are cheap and the ones here are like expensive an heavy
Wow
I'm scared to drop it
Spoiler alert great job everybody anchor hugs
Anchor hugs I let you do that one con because I could tell you'd been mapped get a good map
And I was like that's one rest of productive fairy driver right there
And I was like that's one rest of productive fairy dragon right there
I mean and Jamie meanwhile is also happy she's like
I'd like us to get to be out on deck hi, oh hi, it's off to work at oh Joao
So it's like you're doing it wrong you're doing it wrong. I mean you know what to do when you're doing it wrong lady It's called how high how how high. How high? That's how we do it in the moment. How high? How high? It's off to work. Go. I.
Oh, wow, you're a rock. It's like passing around snow.
Wait.
He's like, listen here, Walt Disney. You did it wrong.
Listen, you expect me to take a word of some girl who ate a
poison apple. I don't think so. Get to work. Six doors would make more
sense to me personally. Get rid of Dopey. Who needs a Dopey on their team?
Never knew that team, Jani. You go down more on.
God damn it.
So now it's time for lunch and everyone's going together for lunch and
Broke us. Someone's like, I'm gonna say it's broke, like, would you like some wine?
Cause wine is the ambrosia of the god,
if I had a flower for every time I thought of you,
I could walk through my garden for every time.
Like give us the key, la.
Take your la only, we only want the key, la, okay?
It's like, oh, I don't know what I've got,
what I thought about that?
For a thousand, for you a thousand times over, Oh, I don't know what I thought about that.
For you a thousand times over, I would get you to kill the half-life of love is for him.
Okay, so one of the guys who's wearing a t-shirt that says, hold my gills.
I don't know what that means, but I hate him. Okay, he's the guy with the gold.
Maybe he's a fish monger.
I hate fishermen.
I hate him. Hold my gills. Maybe I'm not okay. He's the guy with the goldfish. Maybe he's a fish bonger. I hate fishermen. I hate him.
Hold my gills.
Maybe I have to do with...
Gills?
I think it says gills.
Hold my gills.
Yeah, it says hold my gills.
Um, so Rick serves them their salads and they're like, what is this?
And she's like, Thomas, check and sell out.
I think I guess we aren't trying to.
Like, it's like, well, based on that logic, you guys are going to have a whole bunch of China's chicken salad. I think I guess we aren't Chinese.
It's like, well, based on that logic, you guys are going to have a whole bunch of summers. Because you're all duchess.
Okay, summer's for lunch.
They're kidding.
So yeah, she's like, we didn't know.
He's like, we don't want Chinese chicken.
He's like, I'm not Chinese.
I don't want whatever.
And they're like, no, but while it's Chinese chicken salad, whatever.
So they start eating it.
And then these like, speaking, I'm not,
I think it may have been Hebrew.
It could have been Farsi, I'm not sure.
But he's basically like saying in a different language,
like I didn't want salad for lunch.
I didn't want salad for lunch.
I'm like, you know if you were in LA,
all of you guys would be demanding salad for lunch, okay?
Well, I love that the thick one goes, who eats salad for lunch?
I was like, okay, Hagrid, you just need to take a seat over there.
Each are not damn salad.
When else would you like it?
Okay.
So then the end of the talk I was like, so do we have an ETA on the Don Julio yet?
I know it's only been about five minutes.
Is it arriving in the last five minutes?
We need the Don Julio in 1942, you know?
Yeah, the ad comes out. He's like, so here you have a problem with Chinese people. Salas like what is it?
And they're like, um, salad isn't really appropriate for lunch. Like can we please have some other food like I don't know pasta
Shramp.
And
Um, can I do you have any Alfredo sauce? Oh, God, you idiot. How long do you think pasta takes to make?
Yeah, exactly.
And Alfredo sauce is just so whatever.
So there are so so Adams like making all this food.
And then honey is like, mmm, I want more food.
I want more food.
And then also, they're needed to be more food for.
So the pasta comes out, the Alfredo sauce comes out,
the pasta has shrimp in it, and then they need to have more, they need to have the vegan option, they need to have
honey's option. So she gets like a truffle pasta, all this. It's just, I was getting stressed.
He's like, I'm going to find a way to blame Hannah for this, which is like so classic Adam.
Yeah. So then Sandy hears them stressing out. So she's like, what's going on here?
May I please order a plate of hugs?
That would be great.
Dry hugs, please.
Let's all eat it together.
OK.
All right.
You know what to solve?
Any future problem.
I'll help you.
We'll have a talk together.
OK.
So Adam is going nuts.
He's like, you go out and manage.
He's saying that Hannah has to manage the guests.
That's that's because he's going nuts in there.
It's just him.
And meanwhile, this slide finally makes, it's made its way onto the yacht.
And they're going to like set it up and like, excuse me, the slot, we're going to unfill
the slot. It's going to be a little noisy.
It's not up to you.
Okay.
With you.
And they're like, yeah, yeah, it's fine.
We're going to be noisier than any slide.
So I was just, I stopped scrolling.
We'll be noisier than anything
you've ever heard. Is that a 1942
slide? Oh my god, I'm on
to my slap. You can do it.
It's electric. Okay, okay,
okay. So I thought for sure I was
like, oh, these people are going to complain about the slide.
To their credit, they actually did not.
I was shocked.
Yeah.
But it was, the slide was a good time for Joao to get into another pissing match with
Con roundabout.
So I know how to do a slide.
He works in private bits.
They don't like slides in private bits, but I worked on a y'all on how to do a slide.
What you do is you put it upside down, you blow it with your mouth, you do it for 24
hours and you get half the slide and play it.
That's what you do.
When they cut the Casey inside play it, that's what you do.
When they cut the Casey inside doing dishes and she's like
Street China never met it before.
No one cared.
I went and dropped kick your jacket.
As you walk through the door.
No one glad.
And it's like, do it faster. I'll kill you.
Jesus Christ.
It's so stressful.
So Adam's like, I damn it.
If I can handle not managing.
And it's like, get over here.
Adam, I'm going to show you how to talk to a guest.
Okay.
Honey, now come here. You're not only my favorite thing that comes out of a beast, but you're our guest and
You're very important to us, okay? Then now sit down there. No, yeah, I just have interrupt before you get into scene too far
I do want to point out that after all this honey had two bites of her truffle pasta was like I'm done
It's gonna calm it but I'm done
her truffle pasta and was like, I'm done. She has to, it's gonna kill me, but I'm done.
At least she had, here's the thing though,
at least she had some sort of self-awareness
as opposed to those girls at the beginning of the season
who were just like, no, this is not what I want.
It's in a bowl, at least she was like, okay,
he's gonna kill me, but I'm done.
Like there's like some awareness that she's being terrible, you know?
And, but doesn't stop him from being fucking terrible. Yeah, so
Adam and Sandier talking to honey now about the man. This isn't honey. They're talking to you
They're talking to somebody else. I guess honey is not the or maybe this is honey and the other girls not
No, no, that was honey, but but this was just like friend of honey
Honey, she's like, okay, this is how here's how yachts work. Okay, we get your food preferences
But you know, normally
on a Yacht, there's a set menu, and that's what happens.
We do the menu, and that's what you eat.
She's like, okay, okay, so great, glad we solved this.
So then honey comes over and sits with them,
and I was like, okay, great, we had this great talk.
And they're like, okay, but can we have some mac and cheese
also, and then, I don't know, maybe like a five-year cake,
and then maybe some chips and
dip. Oh my god. It would be great. Yeah. A cow. Like kill a cow right now.
Do you know how many do you know? Okay, but also like a salad. You know, but like not like a lunchtime
salad, but like a like a side salad. Yeah. And that possibly made for for honey. Can you make that
again as well? How about this? Can you do a steak with cream sauce? I know it's like dairy and meat,
but like can we do that anyway? Yeah
How many do you have yours? You had loved it because he was like god damn it the second captain Sandy leaves
They dump all this shit on me
I'm like yeah, and you couldn't take it which means you don't know how to manage the guests mr. Hipocrit
Yeah, of course in his argument. It's not my job to manage the kids. It's my job to yeah cook what you're fucking asked to cook
If I were him I would he said well you guys are here for two nights
So why don't we spread some of these things out?
Like why don't we do like a lobster thing here tonight, but then tomorrow night we'll do this for that, you know
But instead he's like, yeah, booby's okay
So let's see the tinder comes with the tequila, which no one has missed at all.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, exactly.
They're like the tequila.
Yeah, tequila.
I'm like, now you guys are so drunk, you could be sort of, Jose Cuervone, you wouldn't
even notice.
So they're all galavanting.
They're on, we know water sports and, you know, all that stuff, slides, et cetera.
And meanwhile, Adam starts prepping dinner
and everyone wants something else which means which is hard because you've got to cook a lot of
things and time is difficult and everything's got to be done in a certain time like he had a lot
of pots going he's running out of pots and everything's bubbling on the stove and they were
supposed to have dinner at nine but then he's like so then but then Hannah checks in on the group and is like, so do you guys all want to have you?
Do you still at 9 a little bit tuck it out? What are you feeling?
They're like, can we do it at 9 30? So she's like, Adam, yeah, do you know that 9 30 now?
He's like, well, it's 9 or 5. Thanks for telling me now, management clock time, Hannah honey.
As she tells them, well guys, you did say. And that's month 30 and they're like,
well, we can't be late.
We can't be late though.
And she's like, okay, then honey,
Adam, Adam, don't know what's going on with these stupid bitches.
But they don't seem able to understand
whatever they're in.
They all look like a bunch of bowling balls.
So, he's getting all the food ready. And then it's like an hour later.
Yeah. And then two hours later. And he literally has a tartar sitting out there, like tartar,
like raw tuna. And like he also doesn't have time to make the crew foods. They're going to get pizza,
which by the way, maybe want pizza so badly. And so they're just like waiting and waiting. And
the meantime, Colin is like, hey, I've got a question. Bruh. And she's like, oh, Colin, he has a
table in his room. So romantic. Colin, laugh as much. Most successfully looked at from a single window. As I call in, whatever soza made of yours and mine are the same.
So he's like, remember when I rap?
Check, remember when you rap, that's your shirt.
Oh, I've got a tape out of that.
Like, okay, you need to just masturbate already. You're going gonna fall in love with 20 different people in one day
So no is 10 o'clock
The guest still not sat down. They're still applying their last looks for their
Gatsby thing and then it's 10 35 still not right. I'm like
Come on you guys are not going to the mat galah you're going for dinner on a a yacht Okay, just like put on a put on a feather thing and just sit down, okay?
Just wasted I mean they're so drunk at this point. They've been drinking tequila shots all day
So then Hannah standing there with Casey and Casey's like
And Hannah keeps getting hit with the balloon theater tied to her rally. I'm not gonna lock this
And the kids are on the butt.
It's like, oh, she's like kicking balloons.
She's like, oh, speaking of kicking balloons, Kasey.
Did you do this?
Yeah.
All right, did you do that?
I don't know, I don't remember.
All right, could you do it then?
Oh, my goodness.
And then it's now it's 11 o'clock.
And I was like, you know what's
fucked up about this?
There are two hours late.
This food has been sitting on the stove top.
As you're going to come out, it's not going to be good.
It's either overcooked or whatever.
And then they're going to complain about it.
Yes.
They're going to complain about every little thing.
You just see it coming.
So they're finally about to come to dinner
and Brooke has time to talk to Hannah.
She's like,
Oh, that's something, so what did she say?
She was saying something about love,
and she's like, I could it.
Oh, Hannah goes, maybe I should have married
at least once for money when I was younger.
And she goes,
marry for money.
I would never, I could live in a tent.
I was through wherever I was really in love with.
And Hannah's like gross.
And she goes, I could even live in a van.
And Hannah's like, Adam has a van.
And she's like, oh, does he?
Does he now?
Ha, ha, ha. Love strikes eternal in a van and she's like oh Does he?
Love strikes eternal in a van
A stir and warmth flowed from her through the van's
He didn't
Her heart was trying to come out here
Concealed in one of those breathless thrilling rides. Damn, it's like God damn it.
Oh, damn it.
Can I win one season?
Please.
Please.
Oh my goodness.
Oh my goodness.
So that's the cliffhanger,
and we'll just see what sort of nightmares
these people develop into next week
So that was that for below deck and
Before we wrap up this episode as it is Wednesday. I've got swell news because we have a new listener spotlight to listen to you ready for some listeners
Spotlight
Did you hear that? I'm sure you can.
Okay, I want to make sure we had some technical issues last week on the podcast.
Okay, so here's this week's Lister Spotlight.
For those of you who don't know, Lister Spotlight is where we turn the podcast over to Y'all
and you get to weigh in on whatever it is.
Sometimes we'll have a question.
Sometimes you just want wanna know about you.
So here we go, ready?
Hey guys, it's me, Lauren Thorsten,
and again, I've been belling him watching.
Hi, girls.
I have to tell you how much fun I had down in San Francisco
last fall.
I dragged my husband down.
We had the best time.
I was pregnant, I was sober, I was dying sick,
and it was still so much fun.
And I can't wait to see you in Seattle.
And I'm not gonna be fucking pregnant again.
Yeah, I sure am.
Team Caroller team, Bethanym.
I'm gonna say, I think Bethany this year has kind of gone over the top with her craziness.
She is so impressed with everything she's getting in Puerto Rico,
which is quite impressive.
I don't think she was humbled by the experience whatsoever.
I think that she is so impressed with herself that
she forgets that anyone has done anything else ever.
So I mean, even saying things like that Ramona isn't successful, I mean, come on.
Ramona's crazy, but she's still successful.
And as far as Carol goes, I don't think Carol really did anything wrong.
I think that Bethany's super jealous of her friendship with Tinsley, and I think the whole atom weird
situation didn't help
I do think Carol has been really good in her blogs and made an excellent point that when she had a career
covering
stories in journalism and whatever
Bethany was filming soft porn on
water beds. So I think she's got a point. I think Bethany needs to like take a few
seats. I think Ramona was right about her being used to not going up against
as formidable opponents. And yeah, I'm team Carol, I guess, if it wasn't obvious.
Bethany is new face wins though.
Ooh, shame.
Let me guys, bye.
I love that.
We'll learn new face wins, bye.
Bye.
Bye.
I love Sade served up with a little baby on your breast.
You just hear the baby like,
mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
I think that's probably the, I think Lauren's view is
probably like the reigning view.
I think most people are team Bethany.
I think we're sort of outliers and that we have any sort of sympathy
for Bethany because everyone seems to be team Carol.
So that's an ongoing whole lot.
I know not not a whole lot, but like more than I
think I was expecting to have. Yeah, because she's like the bullied one. Well, not bullied,
but she's like on the outs. And so I feel bad. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. But I'm sure that
will totally be erased by Wednesday night. So don't worry, everybody. Yeah. Abilus. I love
it. Well, thank you so much for that sweet later. Everybody else to do that go over to patreon become a member
Okay, also our bonus episode super fun this week we talk about bad endings to TV shows
a much other things newsies the musical and
Go get tickets for our live shows this month in Phoenix and San Francisco and our limited edition shirt
What's the matter? What's happening? What's going on, speaking of Bethany, over at WatchWitCrafts.com.
We will be back tomorrow with a little real housewives
of New York City.
Yeah, I'm very excited for it.
I love that show.
We'll talk to you in Maniana.
Bye, everyone.
Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download
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