Watch What Crappens - Below Deck Med: Putting the B in Honey

Episode Date: June 13, 2018

Below Deck Med finally gets rid of the b Honey and the kosher crew, but no one can forget the sting. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Real Housewives of Orange County Seas...on 13 trailer. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***Limited Edition Give Them BenRon tees at crappensmerch.com avail through May! **Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram
Starting point is 00:00:41 and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I've been watching you. Watch what crappens. I've been watching you. I've been watching you. I've been watching you. I've been watching you.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I've been watching you. I've been watching you. I've been watching you. Watch what crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Oh, Megan Berg, he can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Ayan, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Andrea, get your ducks in a roll blaze. Susie, going to the Tobin. Began the Slayer Taylor. Denise Still, crazy after all these years.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Eva Nagila Webber. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Heligrant, Vegrant Master, The incredible edible Matthews Sisters, and Lizzy Drucker, a fun mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on you old bros. I'm Ronnie Karen from the Rose Creek Specialist and here I am with my gorgeous little bestie and Wonder man of ride in the year Mr. Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hi. How are you doing? Good, baby. It's below deck day I'm excited to be alive. I am very excited below deck always gets me a little
Starting point is 00:02:26 fired up on a another good episode. But before we jump into that why don't we do some just remind people that in basically a week from tomorrow we have our show in Phoenix you've been talking about a lot and now it's about to happen. We are going to be recapping real hassles of New York at our Phoenix show at stand up live down there in Phoenix. It's gonna be so fun if you're in Phoenix or Glendale or Scottsdale or Tempe or really just anywhere in Arizona or the world comes yet. It's gonna be super great. Our shows are always a huge amount to fun. A big blast. It's great to be in a room with all your people laughing and talking about the same things. Then we usually have some fun afterwards. So go to watchocrapans.com to find links to that show. And then two days later, we are heading up to the Great North
Starting point is 00:03:15 or Seminoarth to the Bay Area to San Francisco where we are putting on a show that Saturday night. Our big return to San Francisco, we had a show there last November, which was wild and crazy. Someone even got engaged. You never know what's gonna happen. And this time around, we are recapping Southern Charm. And as it happens, it's gay pride weekends.
Starting point is 00:03:37 So we've told people to come dress to the theme of gay Southern Charm, whatever that means, however you want to interpret it, it's going to be a blast. This season of Southern Charm is off the hook. We all have to dive into this Thomas Reb and Al, Ashley's situation. It's going to be amazing and we may have some fun stuff up our sleeves as well. So tickets to both of these shows shows as well as all our other shows
Starting point is 00:04:06 That will be happening between now and the end of the year are at watchrokerapins.com We are going to many cities quite possibly a city near you and on top of everything else We have a limited edition t-shirt the wasa matter was what's happened? What's going on t-shirt that is available to the end of June You can buy that by going to watch crap and calm So everything you could possibly need pertaining to our podcast is at that URL and you should go and you should click around Have fun. Hopefully come to our show because we would love to see your smiling laughing face face, and we know that you will be happier for it. Yeah, you did it. Duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, I'm Captain Sandy. Welcome to below deck nap. Where we go to the Mediterranean. We all get together and we take a nice much needed nap.
Starting point is 00:05:11 Yeah, so for people who forgot about last week, a little demon named Honey Sarshar came on board with her awful friends. And they started to terrorize our sweet cast of Blow Jack Met. And this week we got to see them in their full hideous glory. Yes, there's still dinner was supposed to be at 9. They're still getting ready. It's 10 p.m. then it's 11 p.m. And Adam's like, I've been sitting here picking my nose and I could have been doing crew food.
Starting point is 00:05:40 This is time being wasted. I'm like, well, it probably didn't stop you from picking your nose. Even if you had crew food on time. Well, also, you know, just as the larger context is that this dinner, they made so many demands, they wanted this, they wanted that, they wanted to tar tar, they wanted big and option, they wanted to coast, option, that should be steak, there should be chicken, there should be fish, there should be tofu, there should be sea salt and fertileirticell and clams and muscles.
Starting point is 00:06:05 You know, it's like anything under this, everything under the sun and he had to somehow figure out a way to make our cohesive gender out of this. And then he makes it and they're not ready for two more hours. So then they come up finally and honey's saying, oh my god, it looks amazing. Oh, and quotes from the great Godspeople. I love that. I know. I was just like, shut up and eat your food already. And then her friend, she has this one tall friend who's just so loud at the market. She's like,
Starting point is 00:06:38 birthday on it. Happy birthday on it. Like, shut up. The guy. You're in Italy. That guy. He's such a freak. Like shut up. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:06:46 You're in Italy. That guy? He's such a prick. Oh my god, these people are horrible, okay? And then she has that one sour face friend who's like probably the poor one because the poor one is always acting like they're the fanciest one. Like when you wait on tables and you're waiting on a table of rich people, it's always the poor friend.
Starting point is 00:07:03 He's like, this isn't right. Ew. Well, because they're like, I just spent my, I have like three times left and I spent it on this and you better make it right for me. I know, because I've been that person. I'm like, I'm spending $20 tonight. This better be worth it. So then honey, after all this,
Starting point is 00:07:19 honey has like one bite. And she goes, I don't need to have no more. For someone who's very picky, I just need to have a bite. Like, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate her friend goes, what's that? And someone goes, tune it to our tar, and she goes, like, she gives us this horrible look. I'm like, oh, yeah. Where show me on this tune in a tar, tar, we're tune it tar, tar hurts you.
Starting point is 00:07:41 Skank face. Yeah. Skank. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So then, the captain's handy orders pizza because Adam was to screw up with all of this stuff to make the crew food.
Starting point is 00:07:54 And so I was like, pizza, huh? Well, it's simple. So they had him, but if he didn't do his job, he should be fired. You know, if I don't do my job, I'd be fired. Uh, pizza. They just feel sorry for him. Yeah, he's like, his job is to feed us. If I don't do my job, I'd be fired. Uh, pizza. They just feel sorry for him. Yeah, he's like, he's jobless to feed us.
Starting point is 00:08:08 If I don't do my job, I'll get falling in. I'm like, you should be so lucky you're getting free pizza right now. From the birthplace of pizza, I'd like to add. You're in Naples, okay? Like, they've been on the boat for like three days, you know? And he's like having pizza, what, been for the second time? He's like, oh, pizza. I'm like, you know what, you could do.
Starting point is 00:08:25 Why don't you go on the kitchen and make yourself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and shut up. Yeah, you little jerk. Look at Casey. She's the laziest one and even she'll just eat slices of bread. Yeah, she knows what to do. So the upstairs, the guest of serve, serve, and turf. And it's like, you know, it's like the big beautiful pieces
Starting point is 00:08:42 of steak and then there's fish and it all looks nice And then this was it honey or someone the guy's like, I got some french fries too. It's like And then honey goes, it's a lot of food. I'm like, do you remember when you asked for all that food? Yeah, do you remember that? I think Adam speaks for all of us when he goes, guess like these are reasons I live in a van that. I think Adam speaks for all of us when he goes, guess like these are reasons I live in a van. This is the first time I actually empathized with his lifestyle. I got it at that moment. And he was so perfectly happy with nothing. So Sandy is like, oh, cruel,, okay? You can tell because it does chewy. It avoided the noise. So then finally the fries come up and they're like, we've been waiting for these french fries.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It's like, you know what, you are a boor. Like, you know what, you should be thrown into the Mediterranean right now. I can't stand them. I'm like, here's the thing, if they had been like cooler, I guess, if they asked for french fries, I'm probably like, oh yeah, sure. Of course, who doesn't love french fries? What what fun indulgence to be on a yacht, a luxury yacht eating like fancy food and then get some fries inside your
Starting point is 00:09:55 living the life. But because they're them, it's like shut the fuck up with your french fries. Yeah, they're just being pricks to be pricks at this point. Yeah. And Adam Adam's just talking to himself as he does in the kitchen Which is one of my favorite running Adam things he's like look McDonald's may take your order. God. I miss that van I was like that sounds delicious I was like we've we've got Adam on a van memory tour That's right. I live in a van also McDonald's I would not be mad at having McDonald's on a yacht, by the way.
Starting point is 00:10:25 Like if I were on a yacht and someone was like, so on, our galley is broken, do you mind if we just go get some McDonald's from dry land? I'd be like, yes, please. So then in the crew love, Sitch, Conrad, is still got little heart emoji eyes after giving Hannah a closed mouth kiss last week. And he's like,
Starting point is 00:10:44 the kiss with Hannah makes me feel like I'm back in the school yard and then someone throws a kickball at his head and he starts crying. They called it getting scound. This is what I matched. Hannah is trying to light birthday candles but she can't because it's too windy. She's like well, guess we can't law to this pretend And then the skank face girl's like, um, did you have firecracker candles? I'm like leave it to the poor one to ask for firecrackers. So Hannah Hannah should have just been like I'll check but she's like, yeah, I think we do so she goes downstairs
Starting point is 00:11:24 And she finds a bunch of those sparklers. They're the sort of sparklers that when you're in a club and someone has a birthday and then all of a sudden, like the waitresses walk through and they're holding like champagne bottles and the sparklers are like in the champagne bottle. They hold them up above like their heads. Like, we are coming through and it's those things.
Starting point is 00:11:44 So they just remind me of like, do she bottle service? So Hannah is like, I think I don't know how to do it. So she, she manages to light it and it creates like a big, it's a big sparkly. Yeah, it goes off. It's a firecracker. I mean, I'm glad no one asked her if she had a grenade down there. Jesus Christ. The old boat would be gone. Yeah. Exactly. So Hannah's this work. Pull the pin. Oh, shit. Yeah. So she's like, all right, so she walks it outside. And the fire alarm, of course, goes off. And then you just see Adam smiling. He's like, hey, that's in trouble. Yeah. So everyone's like waking up, you know, because like fire alarm and it's like, oh, Hannah, you know, and although Conrad and Adam totally slept through it, which I thought was funny.
Starting point is 00:12:29 And the captain's like, unbelievable, that doesn't happen on a boat. I am pissed! Who do I gotta hug around here? Yeah. And then Sandy's like, why did, I mean, so Sandy wakes up and she's like, why did Hannah walk through the boat with sparklers? Jimmy goes, um, the guests wanted extravagance. Oh. Oh. But I thought that was a nice cover up. So I was like, are you kidding me? That doesn't fucking happen on a boat.
Starting point is 00:12:57 You know what happens on a boat? Napping and sleep. You know what doesn't happen? Waking up in the middle of napping and sleep, okay? Let's get this route, okay, no more of this. Hannah? Ow, now, come on Hannah. You put the bullet risk, you put us at risk, you put risk at risk, you put the banana
Starting point is 00:13:14 in the rest, Hannah. Okay. The banana, God, I love that banana. Don't ever put it at risk, Hannah. So Hannah's just like staring into the sink like, do I kill myself? All this boat all sparklers have an L honey. So she's like Jamie and Brooke leaves Jamie and Brooke to do the dishes and for Jamie like does Jamie ever get a break? Like why is she still having to do dishes?
Starting point is 00:13:38 Leave the girl alone. Yeah, and they were up until 4.40 a.m. doing all this cleaning for these douchebags. And then it's at 6.15 a.m. It's time to wake up again because guess what? The guests are awake. And the exciting thing for Casey is she's like, um, the sea sickness is worn off. So this is going to be my first ever breakfast all by myself. Oh, it cuts to her pouring a cappuccino down the drain Like you're already doing great honey even though the crew was asleep for that one. Oh my god Geez, we didn't catch her messing up that cappuccino So for the first the first so it's honey and I think the vegan guy and it's like for the first time ever They make a simple request honey just wants I scored with lemon, and the guy wants a bloody Mary.
Starting point is 00:14:27 And the case is like, okay, um, how do I make a bloody Mary? Shit. She goes, where I'm used to working, you just put vodka in and then bloody Mary makes. There is no bloody Mary makes. So she just opens a can of her like a box of tomatoes and ports it in there. Yeah, it was like I think it was tomato puree. Like it's like a box of diced tomatoes. Yeah, it was so funny.
Starting point is 00:14:54 I wrote that down to you as I am pretty. Whatever it was, it was not tomato juice. It was like tomato that you used to like make a tomato sauce. And she's like, Jowl, I don't know how to make a bloody Mary. Should I wake up Brooker Hannah and he's like, do it. Jowl, you doesn't know how to make a bloody Mary. What is everybody dumb around here? Come on. So then Jack, exactly. So then Jowl, like goes into Hannah's room and he's like, Hannah, I've got an
Starting point is 00:15:19 erection and one importantly, I have to say, to get her awake and they're all making all sorts of crazy demands. You gotta help out Casey, you gotta help her out. So she's like, all right, Hana. So she wakes up and at this point, by the way, the guest has received his tomato puree, bloody marinerine, and it's like, I don't like it. And understandably.
Starting point is 00:15:38 So then Hana's like, all right, Casey, how many people are awake? She's like, they're two, she's like, two. Two, and are awake? She's like there too. She's like Two and just gives her full honey face She's like, but they wanted a bloody Mary. Sorry. She's like, okay Okay, it's cool. Honey. Hmm. It's cool. It's cool. Let's just give this evil evil Hannah smile I'm going to do a background check on you very shortly. I love that this is the tipping point. It's like that point in the mystery where they're like, wait a minute, something's fishy here.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Hanna's the Bloody Mary. Oh, I used to an efficient that. So next anchor drama anchor drama, captain. Oh, I used to an efficient that. Oh. So next anchor drama anchor drama captain. I think you're a drama anchor. Anchor. Anchor drama. And Jamie and Zhuau have a conversation.
Starting point is 00:16:39 And she's like, where, which one are you going to choose? And he's like, what's your own death? I ain't done. Once the down, once the cheers the boom. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Oh God, and she's just like, I'm trying to be professional right now, so I'm just gonna talk and not retain any of this right now. She's like, I just scratched my nuts and spits,
Starting point is 00:17:01 and fitting in. I've had 30 minutes of sleep, and I don't even know what I'm talking to. I can't tell if I'm talking to you in a while or just a refrigerator. So Anchor Drama is okay, spoiler alert. We got the Anchor up, and then you just see one of the guys go,
Starting point is 00:17:17 I'm starved. I was like, trust me, we see you all on your bathing suits, not a one of you as starved, okay? Yes. So the boats are leaving, and then we get that thing where you see all the different images, like six at once. And I have to say one thing that we haven't talked about all season, but has like literally
Starting point is 00:17:34 every single episode they show it, they have like a little curigewal where they, I think they put the used curig pods in like a slot and it makes like a squiggle design. What is that? I don't know, the only reason I knew it was that was because Captain Sandy answered something on Twitter was like, those are Cureg mini pads. I was like, well, look at that. I just thought it was interesting that they like use their,
Starting point is 00:17:57 I don't know, are those like fresh ones that they put in there or they, are they old ones that they put in there? Like, and I'm like, if they're fresh ones, why? And if they are old ones, they put in there. Like, if they're fresh ones, why? And if they're old ones, why not in the garbage? I'm like fast. In a hotel, it is me land. Yeah, I'm like actually fast.
Starting point is 00:18:14 I feel like it's sort of a quiet breakout star of the season, the Curid Wall. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's so big. It's like your Curid Wall statement. Yeah. So always putting stuff in it. They're always putting more Curid Bods in there. Yeah, I don't know. It's like your curigewal statement. Yeah. They're always putting stuff in it. They're always putting more cured pods in there.
Starting point is 00:18:27 Yeah. I don't know. I don't know how to. I don't. Art is subjective. Okay. Sorry. I'll bring better observations. No, it's a good observation. I just can't explain it. It's one of those things I saw. I was like, oh, it's a curigewal.
Starting point is 00:18:41 And then I was like, who does that? And I was like, yeah, you know, maids. That's you guess I guess I guess I guess a lot of people have little curic towers And maybe on a boat. They don't want they want something that's more locked in so they have like a curic wall And then it's like I just like a little swoosh to it. I just I feel like there's like a story behind it Yeah, curicwol will see if you switch over to regular cake cups now They won't fit in your wow Enjoy your nascat. Hey, I like the curic talks like the gion Wilson switch over to regular cake cups now. They won't fit in your while. Enjoy your Nescafe. I like the cure talks like the G.
Starting point is 00:19:07 Gunnville said. There's like, get a job. Get a job. I told this while get a job and it did. Now it holds cure. Hey, stop using that instant coffee. Get a job and you'll want gyrids. Or actually, now, now that I think of it, maybe's a nice cafe well I don't know I don't know
Starting point is 00:19:27 no I don't think it's a nice cafe well I don't remember but that that deemed something within within me when you said nice cafe so now the crew met the crew mess and Colin is just talking to himself which I'm loving Colin talking to himself before he was on the deck and he's like, oh, putz on Yokey Mario Brothers! There's always one person on the below deck cast who's just sort of doing their own thing all season. You're like, what? They're on the cast? They're like, well, I ain't fucking anybody. Guess I'll just talk to myself and Mario voice, which, as anybody who's listening to this podcast, knows we do the same. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:20:05 So it's time to take breakfast orders. So someone wants a pancake. Honey is like, do you have an avocado? And then the vegans like, I'll have some brown rice with spinach and beans. You know, it's like, it's always a fat person ordering like that. By the way, I have to say, sorry, that's rude. But it's always the fat one. He's like brown rice, please.
Starting point is 00:20:23 And everyone's like, yeah, what are you? Who are you kidding? Okay, you're just going to eat all the Snickers in the middle of the night anyway. We have a camera in the goddamn pantry, sir. So the brown rice really pisses off Adam because they don't, first of all, they don't have brown rice. And even if they did have brown rice, it would take 45 minutes to make or whatever. So he's mad that Hannah is imagining their expectation. The Hannah's been saying, I'm sorry, we don't have that. Whatever. But Hannah's of the mindset that like on, if you're on a super yacht, it's always, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:20:49 And then you come back and you like temper their expectations. So that's the philosophical divide that rules this episode. Well, again, he could, he's like, she can dip this in the bed before coming to the galley, which I think it's natural to blame the waiters for everything dealt with a few years, but it's also natural to just say here's the menu for breakfast. Yeah, which do you want, but instead he just sits there and waits for somebody to piss him off. So if he fails, he has some to blame. Yeah, they also probably could have filled in some breakfast preferences that made it easier for them to prepare for this ahead of time. So, and meanwhile, Brooke is missing her sister's wedding. She's texting her sister and be like, I can't believe I can't come to your wedding.
Starting point is 00:21:30 There'd be so much romance on display. But I'm on a yacht. You see Captain, Captain's like, oh wait, this is later. I'm sorry. Wait, where am I? I'm sorry, I kept lost him my below deck notes. They're so many. There's so many. Okay, drop it, drop it. We're dropping it. Drop it, drop is later. I'm sorry wait, where am I? I'm sorry I get lost in my below deck notes are so there's so many okay drop it Drop it we're dropping it drop it drop the air we're dropping anchor drama
Starting point is 00:21:51 Okay, Conrad launched a water toys and then honey is telling Hannah she's saying Let us know when you're in LA because like we can pay you back a little and Hannah cuz oh, yeah I'll come to LA and I'll start asking you for a zillion things And then when you come up with them, I'll say, ha guess what else I want French fries Yeah, Hannah like it like uncorched something and she's like, oh yeah, that's right I'll go to LA then I'll be like no one won't this no one want that no I'm gonna be obnoxious No, I'll be terrible. Now you're gonna be the one sick of me. You're gonna be the one say that I'm the fucking see where you know I'm gonna be obnoxious now I'll be terrible now you're gonna be the one sick of me you're gonna be the one say the mom the fucking see where no I'm saying and like yeah she believes and honey goes is she saying we ask for too much
Starting point is 00:22:33 someone's like I'm that she's sick of us so then captain captain Hannah Hannah captain Hannah captain captain Hannah me on okay. Look, I apologize for my reaction. It was still wrong. But when I hear the alarm, I flash back to the red sea. Yeah, I was like, what? Oh yeah, it was the fire of all fires. There were pirates. Who members trying to jump overboard?
Starting point is 00:22:58 We lost the banana. Oh, the banana. It almost wrecked my entire career. Those pirates. I was like, what is happening? Why are we focusing on this instead of french fries? She's like, so now I hear a fire alarm and I'm just like pirates, pirates. Yeah, damn, I'm still mad at Johnny Depp
Starting point is 00:23:19 and they just, I know it's irrational, but I just can't get over it. He's just not right. So yeah, so there's's like it's the toys, time for the toys to come out. Conrad is like, he's being in a weird place. He can't bark his orders out properly. He's like, you know, and so she's like, ah, can man. And they're pulling the slide out and Sandy's like, that's it.
Starting point is 00:23:43 That's the attitude. That's what I like. That's what I call it the banana attitude. I like it. God, Brad seems a little scattered banana. He's like the game of bananas. You put up a bunch of letters in the bag and shake them up. And then boom, he's got bananas.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Not in the good way. He's kind of like a banana gram. You know what I'm saying? Really he is. It's like if you take a banana, you slice up and a bunch of pee, see put into a bowl, and you're walking, you trip in the banana pieces, he is. It's like you take a banana and slice up in a bunch of pieces, you put into a bowl and you're walking, you trip in the banana pieces go everywhere. It's like, ah, scatter banana. Or maybe you should just kept the banana together as one big banana and you wouldn't have the issue. Or is it
Starting point is 00:24:14 a banana on Instagram? I don't know. I'll tell you what. I have both of those examples. You know what's my favorite banana? The banana that sings. It's peanut butter jelly time. Peanut butter jelly time. That little dancing banana, he sure knows how to eat. I'll tell you who Conrad should get to know Gwen Stefani. She, she knows how to write a song, okay? B-A-N-A-B-M-A-B-M-A-N-A-S. So how? So Conrad is kind of all over the place and I'm not sure if it's because she's watching him or what but he's acting
Starting point is 00:24:47 Crazy he's like yeah, right Put it in the ring Roll the slide KB Oh chewing gum She's like what the hell is wrong with your baby and a kid and he's like I'm trying to figure out who can do what you know because like I'm still in that point lock can she do the slide can he do this side can they do the trampoline Who slipped cocaine and to Conrad to be eight this morning? Cut I actually empathize because I get like that if I'm just like tired. I'm I
Starting point is 00:25:15 Start saying things that have volume people like what speak up Ben speak up and I'm just like I mean just I mean I just get frazzled and I'm just like worthless So I'm like we are are all conrad, really sorry. I'm, I'm like, what is wrong with you? And he's like, well, I just, I've got crazy guests. You want 100 things at once. And she's like, are you tired too? And he goes, no, I'm not tired.
Starting point is 00:25:35 I'm fine. You may feel fine, but you're tired, okay? Hey, ring ring. Hello, this is Captain Sandy. Oh, can rad it's for you. It's someone named NAP. Okay, I think you should take this. I think it's time for him. Here's the dealio. I pay attention. Okay. And what I'm seeing is a little boy who needs a nap. Okay.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Which is called the dealio. I I pay attention. Um, meanwhile, Jamie is having this moment of impairment. She's like, she's swimming. They're like, Jamie didn't want to break. She's like, no, I'm great. She's swimming back. The guests are like in one of those inflatable, octagonal pool.
Starting point is 00:26:14 Like, it's there like on a, it's just like a big, it's like a raft floaty thing where they're just like drinking, but they can go into the water as well. And she's like, bringing stuff back and forth. And she's like, I'm safe, I'm super happy because I grew up being I like swimming and I grew up, I love the outdoors, I grew up showing horses and I'm getting to do what I love at this point. Nothing to pull me down. I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like,
Starting point is 00:26:36 I love horses growing up. This is the perfect day for me. Like you're swimming. Yeah. I thought they were, I thought they were going to set up that like they were going to fly brick out so she can go to her sisters wedding and then Jamie would have to be on the interior again. I for sure thought that's what they were setting up for. I thought they were going to have Jamie riding a horse in the water. I know what was happening. It's like what are you setting up here? She's like, here's what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:27:00 Oh, I'm doing it. I'm not on my today. I'm swimming fully closed. Here's why I want to set up. Okay. Every time we anchor all the toys go out. I want every toy going out. I'll do an anchor sanctuary. It'll be amazing.
Starting point is 00:27:17 Okay. All the toys. Meanwhile, there was in midst of this, by the way, you saw them like they get the Jetski. And then honey's like, I don't wanna do it anymore. I was like, you get on that jetski. You enjoy it, then they bring her of drinks in the middle of the water, and she's like, these don't even fit in the cup holders.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I was like, you don't wanna drown you, just drown. Please, just drown. Yeah, you realize like how lucky you are to have someone bringing you a cocktail in the middle of the Mediterranean on your little floaty thing, just a thank you. Yeah, also I should say they shouldn't be using glass in the water. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:27:48 Okay, so Brooke is calling her mom and she's like, oh, my God, believe I'm missing the wedding. I got to travel on someone else's terms, but your best friends, like when my grandpa got sick and I didn't have to do anything. I was like, that sounds great to me. Yeah. Sometimes feels so soft. I feel like a regular, linear, linear.
Starting point is 00:28:12 I can't remember her last name. I feel like such a great brat. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. self, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert
Starting point is 00:28:46 experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen
Starting point is 00:29:09 to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Adam has come up with his own stupid Adam revenge. He's like, oh, guess what revenge? I'm gonna do so much food. They're not gonna know what hit him. It's gonna be played after played after played I'm like whoa, you're sure showing them Adam. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna give him so much food. Like yeah, you're a chef Yeah, exactly you set up a spread It's called lunch. So then they do another like Hannah's lazy thing where they're showing him cook like 20 things and then they just cut to Hannah's smoking outside, which is a running thing
Starting point is 00:29:51 last year. Every time anybody did anything, they would just cut to Hannah's smoking in the back. Yeah, exactly. And Joao was flirting with Casey again. He's like, well, being pushed away from Brooke makes it easier for me to fly it with Casey now. I shut up. And his learning is just so bad. He goes, oh, okay, say the day he's still young. And she's like, yeah, I'll say you. And he's like, whoa, I was going to say that. I'm like, you are so stupid. Oh, God. So captain and Zhao. So they're in the captain room, the, you know, steering wheel room, whatever that's called, I should know that. Bridge or something. Yeah. And say, whoa, look at your, you know what? Guess who's name Ransworth? Wow, yours because wow, I admire your work ethic. Wow, you are very
Starting point is 00:30:41 motivated. Zhao, Zhao. And he's like It's like yeah, it's it's the easy to work hard when you're motivated by someone like a pretty little lady like you captain sing on the All well She's like all keep it up as long as this is pretty lady not your bowler and your self-motivator All right, keeping it up to and you're self-motivator. All right, keepin' it up to Zonzo Poabau! And now Adam is doing what he did last season, which is he's starting to play favorites with the stews. He's, because Brooke comes in, he has this whole spread out.
Starting point is 00:31:12 And she's like, should I take these up to the table? He's like, yeah, he's like, yeah, Brooke. I can tell she's done more service with chess because her timings good, her communication's better. She came in and she checked out playtas, like, wow, that's a waitress right there. There's nothing bad you can say about Casey,
Starting point is 00:31:28 but damn she's done. So the food goes out, there's big spread. It's actually a big delicious spread. And you know, the plates, there are a lot of sort of dishes that have to come out. So there's like a thing of burgers and the guys, the tall dude is like, I need my burgers. My burger here, they're like, yeah, your burgers right there. It's like, oh, it's not a real burger.
Starting point is 00:31:47 I need a bond. I need a, there are, but there's no bond. There's no button. They like bring out a thing of buns like a second later. It's like, oh, he's like, well, they're not chosen. I need a toasted bun. Hands like your phones will taste it. You fuck.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Fuck face. Big a fucker. Fuck fucker. And then he's like, I up. Can I eat that? And Hannah's like, Hannah, Hannah, can you tell the dumb bitch up here which you can't and can't eat?
Starting point is 00:32:12 So he's like, hi. It's like the door is opening, Adam comes out. He's like, if I literally threw the kitchen sink at him, maybe I can knock him out. Here's for helping.
Starting point is 00:32:23 Here's for helping. He explains what's wetter, whatever. And then there's horror music. It's like, like with the dolls about to break out of the glass cage and start killing people. That is just, bro, practicing a Shalom prayer. It's like, what the hell music people? It's so romantic. Oh,
Starting point is 00:32:40 I'm not a man. I'm a man. Oh, these words, tired, I'm in a mulechlam. Oh, these words are speaking to my soul. Muts, make a muts, make a muts. Trishan, Trishan. Trishan, Trishan. Trishan. I have a muts, if water and a strawberry milkshake?
Starting point is 00:33:14 I just have it up and a straw like oh my god, and I couldn't help there were honey Gus. We need to step it up a notch What a bitch What a bitch and the thing is that like sometimes when they're ordering it seemed like they were like aware that there would be like they were like It almost seemed like their tone was saying like We realize yes like aware that there would be like they were like, it almost seemed like their tone was saying like, we realize, yes, we are inundating you with like, many orders, but it wasn't stopping them. They're like, but we will continue to make these orders and then complain when something's not exactly right.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Yeah, they're just being jokes on purpose. Yeah. So they cut to Hannah and Rick working and Casey's like, am I going in a backup? And Hannah's like, good way for me, good way for my private, private. And Casey's like, good, get away from me. Get away from my face before I drown it. In case he's like, Hannah treats me like an idiot. Like, you're not giving me a chance to prove myself.
Starting point is 00:33:51 If you're locking me in a laundry dungeon, I'm like, you can't even do laundry. Yeah, you've ruined half of her wardrobe. So start proving yourself there, and then maybe you could advance up. Oh, and then Adam's like, Shabbat Shalom bitches, as he can be. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:08 So then Joao is flirting with Casey in the crew mess, as usual, and Brooke sees it, and she starts like walks by, and she's like, Joao comes off across like a womanizer, and that's what I really try to steer clear of. And then they just, you see her go walk right up to Adam and just start flirting with him. I'm like, way to go go avoiding the woman eyes. I
Starting point is 00:34:29 And he's like oh yeah, I've got something on my face and she's like You two are gross. Okay, so did you notice and crew meal? Jow goes, huh? Well look at this another bit of cold steak I know you're gonna come for Adam's job now to you to I'll just shut up. Do your own job. Exactly. You just got fed. Okay. What have you done for Adam? Tell me what you've done. Yeah, jerk. So sunset, and then night, Hannah and Conrad are talking and she's like, my body is about to give in and he's like, I'm listening. What? I don't know. I find there are flirting scenes to be like painful and I don't like them. So I just try not to retain too much. I instead was focusing on the guests running around on the banana.
Starting point is 00:35:14 And Captain Tand is probably like watching the bridge and like, oh there it goes. There goes that banana across the Mediterranean. What a happy banana. Oh god, that banana. I'll tell you what's not going to bring down that banana. Pirates in the Red Sea. That banana doesn't mean for a remembered thing. God, I'll tell you what's going to part the Red Sea. A good banana. She also mentioned that Adam declared that he was going
Starting point is 00:35:39 to be making friends, you know? So it was like a cat and sandy double special. So they're setting the table and um, Brooke goes, um, Kai said, I ain't gonna do the cutler. You want me to bring your men? Yes. So you know how to set that in case he goes, I know how to set it. Like you don't know what the menu is. Oh, and then Brooke looks at the flyer since she gets something to have my best sense at Jewish I'm not sure if teal is against the religion. I'm not very familiar with that religion. I just like Brooks I just like Brooke feeling
Starting point is 00:36:15 Her exasperated by everything, you know Yeah, I mean Yeah, it was I mean listen. I'm not even though I'm Jewish. I'm not like a huge Jewish expert, but um Again, I don't know how you can have like a truly kosher dinner where you don't have like a whole set of like kosher plates and all that stuff. So, meanwhile, Hannah had, I'm sorry, Kasey then goes downstairs and ruins his clothes and the dryer again.
Starting point is 00:36:39 And he was like, all right, Hanna, I've got expensive taste, I got expensive clothing and you ruined it for the fourth time in a row All right, honey, and she's just like trying to contain that region. Yeah, it's okay I just I've told you in case it's like oh I'm sorry. I'm like what is going on in the case is like I like she Is the least energetic person we've ever seen on this show? She's basically awakening. She's that movie awakening
Starting point is 00:37:04 Before they wake up and before they wake up. And then they wake up and they do something for five minutes. And everyone's like, it's a medical miracle. And then they go back to being cases. Yeah. I think it would have been a lot of trouble. Yeah. So her hand is like, oh my God, just go help Brooke before I fucking kill you, huh?
Starting point is 00:37:17 Ne, ee, ee, ee. So, on her, on her. So at dinner, the girl's like, So Hunter hunter So at dinner at the girls like And she's like all crew all crew taking part in this period let's do it Shabot Shalom this bitch take care of this bitch before I cut off my head honey God Thank you Hashtag honey Shalom so then they also down and and the vegan guy pulls aside Hannah's like, I'm sorry. Actually, I'm, oh wait, I apologize to the listeners because of course you would never even
Starting point is 00:37:51 say I'm sorry. He goes, are the croutons cooked in butter and she's just like, I'm algo, chicken on that. And so Hannah's just like, whatever, she just leaves. And the guy turns to honey or whoever's next to him and goes, like, those potatoes this morning, 100% had butter on them. Like it probably was oil. So just relax. Knowing Adam probably was butter.
Starting point is 00:38:12 But that's true. He does have that. He does have a reputation for, you know, hashtag on onion gate. Yeah. So he's probably tricking him on purpose because it's like, I'm sure, oh, the fat vegan doesn't want butter. I'm sure. So Hannah's like I'm sure oh the fat vegan doesn't want butter I'm sure so Hannah's like we get it you vegan so she goes to check on the croutons and Adam's like all the voile it's like you don't actually ask him anything he wasn't it wasn't even her Hannah
Starting point is 00:38:35 just ignored it because then because then like few minutes later the guy asked brook and he's like um Hannah was going to check on me for the croutons, if there was butter on them. She's like, All right, I'll go check on those croutons. I'm sure they were made with love and the fusion, aspiration. I'll tell you what, those croutons are missing their sisters when this weekend falls. So, it's like, no matter how much I hurt them, a pile of heart. Do you know how bad I want to say? Thank you! Thank you! But I just want to let myself! Um, so, and he's like, um, look, we're getting all this food, but I would love if someone wanted to explain it. Hannah, explain it. You stop like explaining things and givingpchens and Hannah's like, oh, all right, we'll that to see the sale at
Starting point is 00:39:25 same as last night and this is the local CBS. And then she's smear like a green the green sauce on top of it and doesn't say what it is. She's like, figure out yourself, honey. It's a C's a fucking sale. At the most basic sale there is you ever have your eyeballs is stupid fucking honey face. Honey. If you need more honey, I would love calling you honey. You put the billion honey bitch.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah, it's fish and salad. That's all you need to know. Eat it. So she's like, can I give you a subscription today? So then Sandy Conor is doing something. And Sandy goes up to Conor and he's like, hey, you haven't had a nap. He's like, you saw him and she goes, we did you have a nap? And he's like, I did have a nap, kept in and then they cut to her spying on him flirting with Hannah instead of taking a nap. It's like, who, Mr. He's solved. He was lying without a nap. He didn't lie down to go to sleep. He
Starting point is 00:40:22 lied. She goes for once. I want someone's focus not to be on his banana. Okay. Less banana inside of Hannah and more on your jab. Okay. I mean, while Brooke is out there, clearing plates with these awful people and they're like, Brooke, you're very quiet. You're so quiet tonight, Brooke. I'm'm like you've known her for a day, so relax. And second of all, maybe it's because she doesn't even want to talk to you more on's anymore, okay? And she's like, no brok, really you're quiet. Brok, you're quiet.
Starting point is 00:40:55 Just that Mr. Darcy's, once I've gone back to London earlier than expected for the season. The man is walking around cleaning toilets for the second time and she's like the frustrating thing with someone like Kasey is her head and in her head she thinks she is working hard and she's doing good job. On the honey scale she thinks she's at honey but we all know she's really a Funnay they get their entrees and it's steak and honey. This is cold Cold and then the plane face Jane plane Jane next to her is What is her name Sarah Plain and sort or whatever is like I think it's like mine is co-to send mine back to like you didn't even touch yours You didn't like literally just like sat down like I'm not it didn't sit down
Starting point is 00:41:52 It just was placed in front of you. It would sit down on your foot could but like Literally it was one of those things. It was like looking at third graders or something like mine's called to mine's called to so they all send back to the stake and Adam It's like he's looking at he's touching. He's like this is warm. I can feel it. It's So he puts it in the He puts it in the in the whatever the the odd man or something heated up, but it's just like These people so then Don't take it personally. You know these people aggressive human beings, eat them. It's like I know.
Starting point is 00:42:27 And then honey, it cuts back to honey and she gets, ha, but probably bring down kosher for me. Ehh. Oh my god, you are the worst. Can we drown these people yet? I, as a Jew, I was mortified. I was like, this is going to fuel so many anti-Semites. They're like, see? See? And I want to be like, no, no, please, please don't, like, no. I think one thing the Blodec Med shows us is that you can be an
Starting point is 00:42:50 asshole no matter your religious preference, your color, your creed, horrible people, an asshole's an asshole. Okay. That's true. That's true. So this takes go back upstairs and break me miles like in the corner just like, I'm just having a while. And I'm just like in the corner just like I said my sister's having a wife and I said when I'm missing it I'm just here in the corner crying Chroma I wrote her letter I wrote her letter and I haven't received a word back yet from the letters from the post. It's like okay I don't know what to do. I think the code stick cuz the bad side So then honey gets her a state. You just say I think your cold state cuz it bad side
Starting point is 00:43:29 So honey good. I'm not a cold feedback. I'm a hook. I'm sick. I mean, Hannah. So honey gets her steak and she's like, thank you. And then gets her steak a dirty look and doesn't touch it. Yeah. Oh, I don't like it. I didn't like it. I didn't like it. I didn't touch it at all. I was just like, I don't like it. I didn't like it, I didn't like it, it, it, it. Just like sour. Like, mmm. I'm in Sarah's short and squat. It's like, honey, did you eat anything? And she's like, no, I didn't like it, it, it, it. I love when people who have flagrant eating disorders
Starting point is 00:43:57 and I say that because if you make such a fuss about food and then only have one bite to me, that's mean disorder. That means you have weird issues with food. I'm not saying you're anorexic or bulimic. It means that you do not have a healthy relationship with food. I like when they that and I say I like sarcastically now but like all this fuss and then you don't eat your food. All this fuss you have a bite. You got you got some deep issues honey. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Honey. She's like I will only eat this calzone if there's a knife baked into it I feel like I saw some New York seriously
Starting point is 00:44:29 Yeah honey cuz she does this consistently where she's like I just can't eat it cuz it's wrong Oh wow can't eat it now and well I told that story about my friend once who like who went off on me You know cuz of a like a garlic issue and like she made so many demands about food, but then every time she'd only have a few bites. And I was like, you can't make those demands, and then you only have some bites. I like you and everything, we're friends, but this is an issue. Yeah, well, especially when it's like a dinner party,
Starting point is 00:45:01 I can't with that. I get some things I get, but you don't get to just call up a dinner party and like list things that you can't have. It's not all about you, you dick, okay? So go eat before. Yeah, so that's why I feel like, I feel like honey is the type of person that makes all these demands, what the menu has to be.
Starting point is 00:45:19 And then when the entire menu is catered to her and everyone gets served their food, she has a few bites. It's like, you know what's funny? I only need a few bites. It's like, you know what's funny? I only need a few bites. It's like if you only need a few bites, why did you hold the entire menu hostage? Huh?
Starting point is 00:45:31 Yeah, before even tasting your steak, by the way, typical. So let's see here. So, French toast. Yeah. And then, I like that they make everything seem like it's gonna be this huge drama. Sarah Plain and Squat is like, Casey, we want to eat downstairs and it's like,
Starting point is 00:45:49 that is a big deal for Casey. She's like, where are the stairs? How did the stairs work? So yeah, this is where Adam's like, ah, she's nice, but god damn, she's dumb. I've been doing this long enough to know when someone hasn't been a server before I'm like, you don't have to have had done it long, you know? Yeah, like a dumb dumb sedum dumb So Katee brings the French shows these people and they're like like well aren't you gonna eat your French shows? He's like with what silverware was like that old Eddie Murphy joke at the end of coming to America I was like, I want you to taste it. Where's the spoon?
Starting point is 00:46:25 Ah, ha! Not nearly as fun or as entertaining. I almost was happy that Casey didn't bring them to Silverware. But yeah, then she drops some silverware and plays mad in front of them. Okay, see, a little kai-si. And then she does it, looking like... ah ah ah ah So Captain and Conrad are in the bridge and he's like,
Starting point is 00:46:51 well look at that, the ocean, I can see it, I love doing stuff like this and she goes, God I want Conrad back. I just want to reel him in, reel him in for the hang store that he's in the middle of or whatever. She's got a call in Zelda Rubenstein to get hand to get Conrad to find him from the dimension he fell into when he went into the closet on the boat come towards the light can't run this year Conrad guys so she's like whoa was that fun drive at the boat and he's like oh I love this sort of
Starting point is 00:47:22 stuff and she's like I love when people get that feeling just for a moment eight kid all right when I go down frame happy I raise time to dog and comments like all right 15 meters now look like five meters there's the past the rail get you out of the way the past the rail he'll get scared there's a cat okay and now his dog all right and now a dog we're locked in and And she's like, ah, gosh. We are with this kind of red owl charter. Glad thing we reeled him in. Glad I did that.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Get it, reeled him. Yeah, I'm telling you, I'm here our week. It's a joke for two things, because reels, you know, it's like fishing. And also, I just love that reels TV. Ray channel. So it was time to get rid of the guests. And Adam's like, I feel like Moses patting the red sea. Whoa, don't bring up the rent.
Starting point is 00:48:09 Tucson, Adam. Tucson, okay. All right, I got my machine gun out. Though any of my their fucking pirate wants to board this boat, you got to go to cat and sandy first. Oh, you were just talking. I see what's out of storage. He's like, bring it on, Johnny, bring it on. I see what's out of sword. He's like bring it on Johnny bring it on So they all you know, it's the packing and then the crew lines up and the guests all leave and you know as it's customary Thank you was almost always awesome just a sequence calls
Starting point is 00:48:40 Okay, and then she goes did you train everyone to say absolutely? Let me check on that because like in my head we think absolutely it's done And then you guys never come back And they just all look at her like you fucking cow, you know, and then she has I'm so thanks I'm like, what did you expect them to say? You know, yeah? Exactly like haven't you ever seen don't tell mom the babysitter's dead right on top of that rose That's how you get through life Oh my god, I almost forgot I have like five dollars Fingers when you're on out there that is so and Adam goes audibly absolutely not
Starting point is 00:49:18 Yeah, no, he cuz you go definitely let me know he goes definitely not I kept in sand he's like, just like the last guest, this one doesn't weigh as much as the last. So I guess we'll figure this out later. So they're all like, they're all like anti, oh, no, they're like, it's over. Anti-honey. Yeah, they're just like relieved.
Starting point is 00:49:41 They're happy. Now, Jua makes some joke. I've, what was the joke that he made? The joke was like, I'm scowling now and I'm going to leave the room. This is Brick comes into the crew mess and Joua's there and she goes, There's a weird smelling here. And he goes, not until you come in. And she's like, oh, actually, he's like,
Starting point is 00:49:58 It was to check that was Joua's a boo. You do have a certain amount of pride and prejudice, don't you? Well, so then brother, then Hannah is upstairs. I'm she's like, they say I'm Google in her experience. And then she goes, brook, I've been looking up these companies that she's listed in and it looks like a booze craze. And she's like, no, they show flashback of her going, um, yeah, I can part 10 mostly jack and coax Because like I haven't felt this betrayed since I learned that mr. Wickham actually has the fariest past
Starting point is 00:50:41 So I should not know and meanwhile we see this resume and it's Casey and a bikini. Yeah, just a hilarious resume in general. So, Keith, man, a bikini and Bricksexy. So, there, she doesn't have a heart to learn a terrible. I'll give my dressier just as you do, but, can't see my, as well, say, say, so her jam it's like she did it's line three my dude brain surgeon's okay Casey she's like it says like barista training you know she's like well I while he's to call it barista, but then I trained and I say barista. But see, honey, but good luck getting her fired around the captain because right now the captain
Starting point is 00:51:33 is only focused on one girl's name that rhymes with banana. It's a good dinner. Dinner. So time for the tip meeting and Sandy sits them down and she's like, well, you know what? That was a very difficult charter and you guys maintained your smiles and that is reward enough. You know what? If you guys could be tipped in smiles, I would say you got quite a handsome tip, but actually only got $12,000. And then it goes, you is.
Starting point is 00:52:01 And she's like, didn't know this doesn't reflect your service. You did amazing. Okay, here's $19,000 in hugs. Come on, get in line. You know, the funny thing is prior to this, when there was a commercial break, they said, you know, like coming up on below deck med and they show, you know, they, they teased this. They say, well, here's the tip and Hannah goes in US and then Jamie goes, I think I'm going to cry. I was like, Oh, okay, they're going to try Hannah goes in US. And then Jamie goes, I think I'm going to cry. I was like, OK, they're going to try to make it look like it was a shitty tip. But then at the end of the day, even though these people were
Starting point is 00:52:29 terrible, they gave an amazing tip. I was like, oh, no, oh, they really gave a shitty tip. OK, got it. OK. Great. And you knew they would. No table like that ever gives a good tip. Never.
Starting point is 00:52:41 Exactly. Exactly. They're always looking for something to ding you on. They're the type of people that say, OK, this is good tip. Exactly. Exactly. They're always looking for something to ding you on. They're the type of people that say, okay, this is your tip and it's just going to decline from here, one of those people, you know. Yeah, it's like a two-hour, it's just the tip. Yeah. Okay, so they're getting ready to go out. I'm so happy. I love a service joke. I love the service gel. I don't get that. I would talk about the banana. It's in certain ways.
Starting point is 00:53:09 Oh, I said, I don't get it. She's like, can we make a bad yacht from a sister? Because the mission of wedding, hi, love sister, it's me with all the other meds. We really wish we were with you. I'm like, you might want to do this, not sitting in front of a glass of champagne. Yeah, have I just stand up?
Starting point is 00:53:28 At least stand up for your sister. She's like, I wish I could be that at the wedding. I wish I could be testing all those wonderful scones and yorkshire poods and cheeses from Codgenddafer Chop Chack. Okay. And so they're all getting ready to go out and call them like, I'm wearing white pants.
Starting point is 00:53:47 I'm serious. Just got to say that. I'll say something. I'm wearing white pants. So yeah, and Brooke is like, boys, I really want to dance to not happen working up my chest.in I'm a new thing they call the fox truck get ready boys and one's gonna want and Hannah's favorite dances I forget what's called but it's that really scandalous dance what there's two lines of us and two of us walk together and
Starting point is 00:54:25 put our palms together, go around in a circle and then walk down the line and separate. Ooh! I don't just start playing the harpsichord around me and expect me not to be the kind of fox thought. Right? I like a slow measure dance where we only touch palms. And Adam's like, will you do do have your hooker hearing sound tonight? We didn't make it gross Adam. So at dinner
Starting point is 00:54:54 Brooks now decided that Adam was her man, so she's like yeah Oh Look at what on your arm it reminds me of the Renaissance and he's like it's a world map. That's right every rest stop is Stard Got this one and Madagascar this one in China this one in trail. Yeah, that's what I call Australia All strip clubs by the way Never mind something like that So dismissive of a sentence. love it. What a real man. Because I was fond of you. And he said you never have to mind.
Starting point is 00:55:49 And I thought, I didn't have to mind. I don't. OK, so then what happens? So now Hannah and I'm taking too much to pay attention. It's all like my club stuff. So Hannah and Conrad are flirting. And she's like, you're a sweetheart on a bitch. She's doing that thing where she puts her fingers on her lip, her lower lip and it's like, I'm putting my face real close to you. So close to some
Starting point is 00:56:12 comfortable. All you can do is either kiss me or not kiss me. Probably kiss me anyway. Oh, man. Oh, so let's see. Um, then the Conrad is like, this way here. I'll drive this rest, the rest of this part. It's the end, basically. So Conrad's like, he's like, or I'll give you a kiss, but I feel awkward, but two heads of a department. And so instead I'll say,
Starting point is 00:56:36 this is going to fast take your time with me. Would you like to go to Adina? She's like, I would certainly like Conrad. Conrad, he can take me. Jam me to my vagina I don't know yeah pretty much and he's like oh don't want anyone at work to know that we're making you know we're together well I'm like you're making out on the couch everyone's watching you um and so I was like oh calling this inappropriate. So then we get a club called Alterigo, which is so fitting because here comes Adam.
Starting point is 00:57:13 You know, he acts on nice. So Hannah's pouring, Ross shots down all the girls' throats. And Casey, Casey's like dancing on the table trying to be hot, but she's marching. Yeah. Casey, by the way, I talked about this on Monday's Potomac episode. Kasey, again, victim of the priv face. She has a full jaundice thing going on her face. She's almost, I actually think that she's wearing like face makeup. Like she went to a child's birthday party in Naples somewhere and was like, got face painted because her face is, I love the
Starting point is 00:57:44 makeup. I love the idea of prive girls just being droned in. She got prived up. Okay. Yeah. They got dropped in Italian prive girls. A gay honey. That's what her day job is probably on a. Yeah. Kaysie. The thing where her face is yellow and the rest of her body is not the same color. And you're like, what happened to your makeup? So she's marching on a table with Primp Face and then Brick goes to flirt with Adam outside. She's like, I have a thing when I like somebody I struggle to flirt. So she's like, you know, Adam, I know there's sometimes the main op scene that sexy and he's like, good sex isn't about looking like a porn star quite the opposite actually Some of the best blow jobs I've ever had are from toothless hitchhiker
Starting point is 00:58:32 And it's like well, it's like I'm a similar like I'm this weird British girl But I know how to get down and he's like oh, yes For instance I do have a pension.chant, please don't tell my mum this, but I have a penchant for writing a note to a suitor and saying, would you cut or see my shoulders? And then if he says yes, I'll be like, I'll meet you in the gardens at 3 p.m. Like it's so damn...
Starting point is 00:59:03 They seem like a played, but look down at your mouth, San Anca! P.M. I got so done. I've been known to shake my hip when the hapsichord comes on. So that's basically what he does to her. He just mucks her. He's like, oh yes, I'm synastere. Look at me. I'm such a slut. And she gets really offended and almost starts to cry. So she just walks away and he's like, okay, well guess it, just blew that one.
Starting point is 00:59:28 That meanwhile that's turning her on even more. I mean, while Hannah is now trying to sneak even more kisses from Conrad, she's just like, she's like, you don't want to kiss me, Hannah? You don't want to kiss me? Kiss me! Kiss me! Kiss me!
Starting point is 00:59:43 So Brooke walks straight from getting her feeling served right to Jowl. Oh my God. Yeah. This is what happens when there's limited options. Okay. Yeah. And then Casey goes, are the boasting and the chiefs do hooking up? I'm not stupid. Like really, they're making out right in front of you guys. Okay. You are literally eating your food with the wrong side of the fork. I love that in every episode now they have Casey going, I'm not stupid at least once. And Colin's like, I'm calling. What?
Starting point is 01:00:21 And that brings us to the end of another week of below, dig made, blue dig mead for ticket storages next week week from tomorrow come over to watch what crap and calm San Francisco and Phoenix and feel what's the matter what's going on what's that what's happening shirts go to the same place watch what crap and calm and we will talk to you tomorrow for a little real house last New York City yeah yeah yeah oh my
Starting point is 01:00:43 God so excited. Bye everyone. See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:00:51 Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 01:00:59 Bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens. Add free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about
Starting point is 01:01:14 yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.