Watch What Crappens - Below Deck: The Vanilla Blind Side

Episode Date: October 20, 2017

Sandra Bullock once played a lady who hates chocolate ice cream. You heard it here first. Enjoy! This week’s bonus is a breakdown of Top Chef Colorado’s cast bios. To hear it, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-what-crapins. You can also find us on social media, on Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram

and Facebook at Watch What Crapins. We'll see you there. I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low Christie dowry the OG Prem Supreme and our super duper premium sponsor Kelly Grant the most gorgeous girl in Texas we love you. Hello and welcome to watch what crappens the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo burrows. I'm Ronnie Keram from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast. And here I am with my gorgeous sweet natured little bestie Ben Mandelker of the B-side blog and the banter blender. Hey, Bean. Hi there. You were such a liar. I am definitely not sweet natured,

but thank you anyway. You are being not. I'm not. What if the kindest people I've ever met? Well, I'm a faker. I'm phony. Full of it. Full of shit. The things that go through my head.

Not kind. Not sweet. Well, I think the whole thing is that you keep them inside. You know, at least if they're mean to be. That's half the battle. That's half the battle, right? Because it's not what it doesn't that what being civilized is all about. Cute the bad stuff on the inside. You know, at least if they're mean to be that's have to battle right because isn't that what doesn't that what being civilized is all about you the bad stuff on the inside.

So I guess you're right. I am sweet. Yeah, just let it come out on the internet guys. I heard it here. Yeah. Everybody welcome to the show. We have a couple tickets left for Sam frame. Cisco on November 4th. At least we think we do. We haven't really gotten an updated count this week yet. Yeah. Or if we have, we forgot. Yeah, but it's fun to just say it every time anyway. Like, get this into the mood, you know.

Yeah. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. We're gonna be announcing other dates soon. If you guys are listening to this later in time on the calendar and you're like, wait a minute, I missed that show don't worry guys we're gonna be doing lots of shows we're gonna be touring so go to watch what crappens.com to find out our latest show dates and there's always ticket links that you can buy there. Also another announcement

is this week's bonus episode was holoria's it was top chef Colorado's trailer. We did one of our, you know, shot by shot breakdown. Wasn't the trailer. We just went through the bios of the contestants as per our tradition every year. Oh yeah. So go listen to that everybody. Fantastic. If you want those go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and join in the fun y'all's Yeah, but today we have one of our favorite little shoes Bullotic Good old below deck the yacht version of other shoes

Other shows on a yacht like the real world the yacht the real yacht world it's like the blindside but on a yacht. What did you see the blindside? I didn't I was I said last week I was going to see it in anticipation of this episode but I forgot. So in some ways you could say that this episode snuck up on me like a blind side itself. You got blindsided. I just like the vanilla ice cream snuck up on not Sandra Bullock from the blind side.

That's right. She was blindsided with some chocolate ice cream. What a life. Tell me. I do not like chocolate ice cream. Okay, Sandra Bullock. So the blind side is a movie where a tough Texas lady adopts a high schooler who's into football and he's really good and he has a tough family life and she loves him the way

a mother could, only a mother could love a man. And then he goes off and becomes a successful football player for the Ravens, right? I don't know, I didn't watch it either. And I love a Sammy Bullock movie. Me too. I love Sandra Bullock. Yeah. I love her. But I didn't see that one. It looks sad. And you know, I always end up liking those sad movies. But sometimes I just, I don't like crying. I don't like feeling emotions. Yeah. I, I'm an easy cryer these days, believe it or not,

in my crusty old age. So yeah, you know what, it's like I love Sandra Bullock movies, but I've been watching them for 20 years. And I would like Sandra Bullock to know, like, how about you do something for me now? I've been watching your movies. You do something for me, and then I'll watch the blind side.

Well, you know what, maybe we need to go through our Patreon subscribers and make sure she's not on there before we say something. Could you even imagine if she was quietly paying like a dollar or two per month? She's like, what are you talking about? You know, I think about that a lot actually. I often think, are there ever any celebrities who listen to our show, aside from the bravo stars who tune in because we're talking about them? Do you, I, I mean, I've mentioned this before, but wouldn't it be funny if someone random, like Melanie Griffith listened to a to our show, you know?

Random, how dare you, sir. Melanie Griffith is far from random. She is Melanie Griffith. She is pushing around a dumpling cart, getting her hair steamed out, but she has ear buds in and she's listening to us and we're making it worth it for her Gourney weaver steals all the credit Gourney weaver stealing all the credit since the 80s

Yeah, and you know what she deserves it because she's a Gourney weaver, okay? Because she may be stealing the credit, but several at least five other people stole a Best acting nomination for the ice storm, okay? Let's look. Yeah, no kidding. It's like, they do things so backwards over there. It's like Sandra Bullock, we're sorry

we didn't give you an Oscar for speed. So we'll make it up by giving you an Oscar for the blind side. Yeah, where's Sigordi Weaver's compensation Oscar for being snubbed for the ice storm? In fact, that entire movie was snubbed. I don't think it even got an Oscar nomination when it was one of the best movies of the past 20 years. Yeah, you love you some ice storm.

Ooh, I love the ice, I mean, the ice storm is up there with like big business and soap dish, which makes it this not as funny to quote. I was going to say they're just as hilarious. But if you want me to work in some some ice storm references, you know, some frosty Joan Allen moments of her breaking ice in the kitchen, I will do it. Some kitty homes high in a hotel room in New York City. I could do it. It's probably still kitty homes right now. still Katie Holmes right now. So this episode of Bolognick is the blinds on. So we opened where we left off last year and this is where Niko is going to be getting his own Oscar because he's turning the whole thing around on EJ. He's like, you're drunk. Go to bed.

Yeah. By the EJ is now in the opening credits. I just want to add. Yeah, they put EJ in there. They're like, okay, EJ, we weren't sure about you, but when you said, this is my deck. Now, buddy, boy, we were committed. We decided to go all in. You really made it your own EJ. We're giving you a window pane of the opening credits. So, yeah. So now we're, yeah, like you said, Nico has doing that thing. Like, it's basically they're reenacting the scene from a rest of development where at least seal blue and what's the what's the uncle's name again Oscar whatever it's like you're drunk you're high that's what they're doing you're drunk sit down you're drunk go to bed delete yourself off the internet that's basically what Nico's doing it needs is, what are you talking about?

I'm not drunk. He's like, yes, you are. And it's dangerous when people are intoxicated, eh? Go to bed. Go to bed, eh? He's like, yeah, he's like, why don't you get your shoes off my deck? That's when you just like, it's my deck now, blah, blah.

And Jen is really mad too, because at the dinner over wherever they were before this this when Rihanna said, yeah, I said you're bitter. So Jen's all mad now. So she goes into her bunk of slams the door. And Baker is just loving everything, which Baker, I'm loving more and more every episode. She's like, yeah, there were about to punch each other out now? I did like that when EJ said, it's my deck now, Buddy Boy, and then Nika goes, not anymore, man.

I was like, how did EJ lose ownership of it? He's the boss in. And second of all, I love how the fight is them just claiming that that that's little deck right by the tender. It's like my deck now, not anymore. It's mine. I will guess what bad news. I just got it back Not so sure about that. I got a title deed and says Nico's deck. Oh My bank just acquired your bank. It's my deck again

Nico Fargo, bitch So now the Nico starts doing that thing where you're really mad at your boss and you want to tell them off really bad But you can't see just tell us someone else in the coffee room It's like that we even doing right now. He's like I'm telling you tomorrow if I'm not boasting I quit Who's it gonna be you or me by tomorrow? I want you to stretch on my bed or I'll take my strife and you can pull you can put it up your ass and I like I'm like I'm like you're yelling at me. I'm like I'm like well I guess it'll be you then because why would he just be like oh I'm so sorry for the sanctity of the boat. I will step down with my boasts in position and go back to, you know, some Canadian restaurant. Johnny whatever.

Tim Horton. Tim Horton. Tim Horton. Oh, I thought you were going to say Johnny Rockets. I would like that. I would like that. I would like that. Look, this is how we do things on a rocket.

Okay. We're planning your rockets. And Bruno could be like, well, I've worked in a car before. It's like, that's not the same thing, kid, but you're trying. Nico is also, again, he's trying to gaslight, EJ. And so he keeps also saying, go to bed, go to bed, go to bed. Yeah, it falls out the bet, the Bethany, the Bethany, Frankl thing. Go to bed!

So Gally, EJ is like, no one has ever talked to me like that. And Kiko's, wow! Oh! It's so uninterested. Yeah, I just had to sit there with you people the whole fucking night. I even have to deal with this at home. Yeah, and Nico's still just, he's just huffing him puffing and each I like E.D.A.s reaction. He's like, whoo, remind me not to buy

him drinks. A remind me not to help him across a crosswalk next time I see the light blinking real fast. He's only got 18 seconds to get across. Don't look at me, sir. Blinking real fast. He's only got 18 seconds to get across. Don't look at me, sir. Remind me not to say the full, you're welcome. Next time you thanks me, I'll just say welcome. It'll be real cold. Shears him in the heart. Next time he gives me a gift, I'm sending him a thank you email, not a thank you card. That'll show him.

So if I don't, num d num d cool beans, numUM-D, NUM-D, Cool beans. So now Niko's on the Sunday, it's like he's just like stewing and Brianna goes up. No pun intended. Uh, and she's like, uh, I told him, you put your stripes on the table and then we'll talk and she's like She's like playing somewhere over the rainbow Wait, somewhere over the rainbow only house one cord. She's like be quiet

See while Jen is totally drunk in her bed and she's like Don't come at me. You fuck up. You apologize. Like, what are you talking about? She's talking about her brush. She's talking about me more. Yeah, she's talking to her brush. She's talking to her curling iron. And EJ is her bunk mate and he's like, oh, it'll be okay being school. Hold me, it's no. Hold me, it's okay.

I think it's going to be okay. Oh, these mumbles, these are... I think it's gonna be okay! Ooh! So then, it's the next morning, and it's like the morning montage, like, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do- Yeah, how about you, you change the title on the box to cheery nose? How the hell am I supposed to get this god damn box open? How about we change the name of this box to not so special cake? Because you think you're special, huh?

Well, we're all agree working together, aren't we? How about we change this to honey bunches of chutes? That's what I gotta say. God damn it. How about we change this cereal to that's life as in don't complain to me that's life. How about we change it for fruity pebbles to just fruity. God damn fruit. How about we change it? How about we change name of this to work as in I don't got time for tricks. We're

just gonna work. Tricks are for kids. Goddamn it, Ian. So that was the best part, because... Goddamn it. Trying to open a box. So then it's the morning. In Baker and Bruno, you know, we get like a little tiny clip of them. And they're like, last night was crazy. Like, they called him intoxicated. Each and every time was the least intoxicated out of all of that.

And he goes, yeah, right? Yeah, I take that. I mean, you drink your stink. Oh, yeah, Baker whips out some rhymes. Yeah, the stuff. So some more, you know, you know, the Baker the Baker. Do we talk about the fact that Bakers Cousin is Thomas Ravannell No

her her first cousin once removed her first step Well, why was she the one removed? She's my she should be the one who's removed His dad Arthur is married to her grandmother But she it was the grandmother's I think Not the first husband so so technically he's like a step cousin, but you know since he is a generation above They're first cousins once removed Whoa, that was a lot

Yeah, well, man, well So the mess hall, Niko, Bri, oh, okay. So Jen comes downstairs to eat like some peanut butter off a spoon or whatever the hell they do on this. Yeah, she's a big old thing of peanut butter. They love their peanut butter on this. But it's like little dogs. Yeah, dogs love a peanut butter.

So she's like peanut butter is iconic with, in reality shows where you're trapped in a house or about peanut butter is iconic, right? That's a real world staple. Oh gosh, well, it's also iconic in the real world. I mean, if you're ever in a hurricane or anything like that, that's one thing you always have to have is some peanut butter.

Oh yeah. Everything else will go bad, man. Oh, that's true. I, uh, I was just on the fence about whether to throw out some major grazed chutney yesterday I was like I think I've had this for like nine months or longer and I feel like it's probably okay But I'm not sure and then I like tasted it because it's not like the worst thing you should do like I think it might be bad Let me taste it. Let me poison myself first Yeah, no one's like I don't know and I literally spent 10 minutes it. Let me poison myself first. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know.

And I literally spent 10 minutes deciding whether I should throw out my major grazed chutney and I looked up on the internet. Does major grazed chutney go bad? And then it was like, maybe. I'm like, hmm. Thanks a lot, internet. Yeah.

Well, guess what? I threw out my major grazed chutney. I decided it was, went in doubt, throw it out. So goodbye, major grazed chutney. Thank you, Baker. Thank you, Baker. Whoa, chutney more like puttney. Hey, who'd you, who made you a major gray? Yeah. Yeah, me. You take my chutney and shove it up your ass. How about that? These what I've got to say, major, major shut major gray. It's either you or me

And I want you to turn in your bottle cap to me and then I'll know it's me otherwise It's gonna be you and I'm going to the trash Great threat you tell them chutney so Jen is just sad and Breathe like you okay Breathe like what they know itwitch flower. Yeah. And because, like, what's up, Jen? You seemed to irritate it last night.

Says the guy who was screaming and yelling about shoving stripes of somebody's ass. I know. I was like, um, I don't know. I'm just sad. I mean, I don't know. Don't ask me about it. Just crushed.

I don't know. I want to kill myself, which I was drowning right now. But whatever. Don't throw me a lifeboat. It cares about me. I'm just Jan Nobody cares about Jan So me and meanwhile EJ is down there also so there's awkwardness between EJ and Nico and Nico's like yeah, man You got too drunk last night. You turn into a real asshole. I'm like All EJ did was show up on this boat. That's all he's done and recommend a different way to clean off salty windows. Yeah, and EJ is trying to talk to him, Ollie Irons.

He's like, so we're not talking. He's like, I can't believe he didn't go to the captain in that wine-y-ass voice and be like, Nika told me to chef stripes up my ass. Whatever. What do you mad at? Now you're mad that he didn't go to the captain. Oh Can't get out of his own emotions. Yeah, he's like some people can't bounce back and some people can't

So he's still you know just kind of trying like a bad. He's like you'll okay there buddy You getting a good good because no no chocolate no I hate chocolate I thought you liked it no I hate it now you're not my real dad so Baker is like sometimes when you drink you think about rules and I don't know when Baker came upon this rhyming thing But I love it and Jim's like it's not because I was drinking okay It's stuff that I was told it's not in my head and I'm over like who cares with Jen thinks it's just Jen I'll just be up here alone being Jen So I did someone to hear something Like a like a little flower pop all over. I have just your noises. Kate's like, is anybody gonna fix that squeaky door? Or is it just gonna make us crazy until we all want our heads to explode?

So then we get a really odd, odd scene. Now the captain's been kind of casual. So far we've seen an scene I'm opening cereal this morning, which made me very uncomfortable. I don't even know what he was doing down in the kitchen. I like to think that he's just awake for 24 hours up in that cabin room, pacing back and forth, waiting to see a god damn sailboat. God damn it. But now we see him in bed. And of course, he's fully in uniform, which I like, but he's like playing in bed in his uniform, radioing people.

And he's like, God, I can't park this goddamn boat. There's too many goddamn boats in the goddamn dock. So all right, go to lunch, guys. Have a good one. Yes, a little uncharacteristic. So because there's no place to dock, because it's St. Bart's in high season, the crew gets to take the little tenders out

and enjoy some lunchtime fun in St. Parts. So, everyone's going to different places. Caputally, of course, completely removes his shirt and starts sunbathing in the spot. Here to for reserved for Niko and Bri to discuss Niko's heart. So while he's doing that, Kate and Jen, they go to a little toy shop to buy stuff for who knows what, they're just buying stuff. I guess for like the party, you know, how they have to decorate the tables and stuff. And

Kate, you know, Kate loves a wig. So they're in some costume shop and she's like, Jen, I'm doing this for you. Thanks, Kate. Jen, I'm giving you a Furby and maybe you can work on your skills with this Furby, so try not to kill it and then we can see if you can graduate up to dinner service. It died! It's like, oh Jesus. Oh God. You never put the batteries in, you fucking moron.

So she's modeling pirate stuff. Love you see here. I write down every single thing, of course. Okay, so on the other boat The chef's just like sitting the chef sitting there reading his phone in his bunk because he doesn't have to cook And I guess he's not gonna go into town with everybody else just in case he gets the text back Which doesn't make a lot of sense or maybe he doesn't want to be tempted to drink or whatever But I mean it would be a good time for him to like, you know, check to see what, how the pantry is doing, if there's anything

that needs to be restocked, maybe check out the local markets for any good ingredients that might be good enough, future dinner, I don't know, things like that. Maybe something as simple as like, some vanilla hogging dogs, I don't know. Yeah, maybe to see how the ice cream is doing, you know? Like ice cream needs to be asked how it's doing.

So he's looking at Instagram memes instead. I'm assuming looking at his girlfriend's Instagram account. And that he comes across this meme and it says, Friday just called, she'll be here tomorrow and she's bringing the wine. At least someone's supplying something. So I put he yons so do we. He's like I he's like wait the guest ran of wine the Friday's coming. TGI Friday is just called even they have another ice cream. So Bruno Baker and EJ are getting lunch somewhere and EJ is showing off this weird thing with his forearm where it be like squeezes it like part of his muscle bulges out And he's like, yeah, I sort of want an anchor tattoo with a heart and the heart will be and Baker's like Urge is making a naked guy and like when you squeeze your hand it's like his penis will get harder

See last he goes When she laughed her mouth opened so fucking wide You can throw a fish in there like a seal like you could just throw a fish directly laughed her mouth opened so fucking wide you can throw a fish in there like a seal Like you could just throw a fish directly into her mouth. It is the cutest most widest mouth opening laugh ever and I thought you know I really would enjoy this carefree baker and it's like the little Caesar laugh. Oh, that's weird Didn't little Caesar the card like little Caesar cartoon didn't his mouth open like really big when you eat the pizza

Pizza flat shot Or that just in my mind like didn't like his like the top half of his head like roll backwards and then the pizza going close Back up again or am I think a Pac-Man? I think little Caesar's probably stole a little from Pac-Man I can see that I remember that I just remember Little Caesar, like his nose is so big, and I'm half Lebanese, and I was always like, oh my God, whose nose do I want? Please don't let me get Little Caesar's. I feel like the Pac-Man Little Caesar Baker spectrum

is pretty accurate one. It's like the natural evolution. It's like, you know that man, the evolution chart where it's like a a monkey and then eventually becomes man. It's like Pac-Man, little Caesar Baker. Pita, Pita. Pita, Pita.

That's just, I think that's just animal at that point, which also is on the spectrum. The animal spectrum. I like the animal spectrum. I go about. Bid that because I can imagine Baker walking around like I can imagine her drinking like like a sunkissed and like all of a sudden she just is like hyper and just running around the same part of her. Bid that Bid that.

is like hyper and just running around the chef, EJ, sorry. I'm getting all my white guys confused in my notes. He's like, what do you think, Nico and Briana are doing right now and he goes boom, chikawowow. EJ's entire personality came out of like 20 years ago. He's basically like stranger things to the person. I feel like it's from like the 80s, early 90s. He, I mean, basically he and Baker are meant for each other.

Yep. Or Jen, I'm still hoping for my EJ Jen crazy eyed romance. So let's see. Jen gets back to the boat. They all go back to the main boat and she texts her kids. She's like, how are you? I miss you and then just throws her phone on the bed and walks off. Looked out for a kid.

She's probably like, it's like her mom's either calling her sobbing about something then hanging up or then just texting and never getting back to the text. We should also imagine that Niko and, and, and Bree were swimming. They had like a little lunchade. They're swimming and being super flirty. When they get back on the boat, Jen gives Bri a little gift because Kate was like, my advice is give her this little leather chachki and say, this is my olive branch and I'm

sorry that I've been in an ineffective stew, and hopefully you'll like me now. So Jen's like, okay. So she goes over to me. I love how she said it too. She's like, she does her like, fist punching down like in a musical, like, let's put on a show.

Or what? Yeah, and she's like, you just need to say, I'm sorry, I like working with you, I like working with you. I like working with you. And she's selling it like with a cake complete straight face. Yeah, she's like, she's like, I had to spend so much energy doing that fist thing. It's like and exhausted. She's like, I can't do it much. It gives me tendinitis. So, uh, Niko is also, so yeah, so I'm sorry, Jen gives the little thing to Bri and Bri is like, oh, I'm sorry to and

They seem to be good and a Bri had just given Nico advice when they were flirting and Bri was basically like well, I think that maybe the way you should be looking at EJ is like you now have some extra help But you really needed and just like be happy because we all have to work together or so Maybe you could learn stuff from him and he could maybe learn stuff from you. He's like, yeah. So then Nico gives sort of an apology. He's like, okay, listen, EJ, you know, we all have to work together. And you know, like last night was like out of hand. Um, so I don't need your stripes on the table or up your ass, but we can work

together. So, you know, that's that. So I don't need your stripes on the table or up your ass, but we can work together. So you know, that's that. I'm sorry for calling you an asshole. This should be cake. This should be cake together. This work. And EJ is like, well, I appreciate that.

But I like that Nico waited to have this talk with him where he's standing on the boat and EJ is on the little boat way down below him. So Nico still above him as he talks. Yeah, and he just like, I appreciate that a lot, man. Oh, that's cool. Very, the coolest beans of all, the coolest of the cool beans.

I will eat those beans, but I will never forget. And then he does that thing where he points at the camera really hard, like I will never forget. Oh, scary beans. Yeah, I have been some scary beans. Scary beans. So now it's time to pull up the anchor, anchor time, pull up the anchor. So Bruno

and Baker spring into action. It's like those hand movements. You know, it's like they're doing the robot. And the anchor goes up and Captain Lee is like, good job. And we're like, oh, he said good job. I tired. Those are magic words and not tired. Was it because of those words? Did those words make me tired? Going to sleep. Magic make me tired.

I tired. Magic make me tired. Words make me tired. Magic words. Mell. By the way, if you were to go on to Bruno's Instagram right now, aside from the fact that there's a picture of him in a jockstrap, you would see his, um, his IG story is like a picture of him saying tired. It is not go look, go Bruno.

On my phone, can I do it? Can I look at it on my phone? I mean, on my computer. Oh, wait, it's already, it already expired. But the one that was up yesterday was like Dired It was like tired just did interviews because you're doing pickup interviews So it literally said tired and then like the one like like earlier in the day was like

Does this look like the face of a man who's tired? this look like the face of a man who's tired. Love it. I'm tired. Dired. So everyone shocked because they actually did their job right. The captain's like, wow, well, good job. So then the chef is still texting. Till texting. The chef is basically here.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Oh, yeah, him. I was like, I was saying to you. He's like, hello. I love you I regret everything. I'm not drunk right now. Still love you. You there. Where are you? I'd really like to talk to you Where are you going? This guy cannot have free time on his hands ever. Yeah, never never So yeah, so he's texting still distracted. Now it's nighttime. Because it's nighttime. We got a docket, night, god damn it.

I can't see a god damn thing. These distances are distorted at night. That could be a hundred yards away, five miles away. Boxes, god damn cereal. Anyone able to open those god damn cherry nose? Anyone, I'm starting to get there. God damn it. I resent this drawing you put of me on this cereal box. Oh wait, that's it's called Captain Crunch. Oh never mind. Yeah, when at this point it was like

What happened didn't get to do today crunch on something. That's what goddamn sure No, it's okay. So yeah, they're navigating in the dark. I was saying it was like Blair yacht projects because they're like, all right. Like someone gets out there on the front with a flash and they're like, let's see. Ah, there's a sailboat with a mask. All right, I see it.

They're like, all right. Oh my God, look at the rock. I see it. It's like the Starfish Starfish. Did you notice that they showed a starfish in this? I did. Oh my gosh, they got a screenshot. Like Starfish.

I almost feel like they kept that in there for us. I was like, Starfish has finally made his appearance. Starfish. So let's see, sailboat, right? There's no light. Yeah, you said that. So anyway, they have to dock and they start talking themselves through it and EJ and the captain and Nico are all working on the radio and they're all being very calm. They're like, how I'll captain the beans beans cool beans cool beans cool beans captain. Okay. All right. Stripes up your ass be cool Mumty got it back and they get the boat in

Basically, it's the point. Yeah, it was like after all that drama. I was like oh look He is docking in a reasonably lit Area so everyone's get up here. Jesus Christ fucking well done crew Jesus Christ fucking well done crew. I'm like, whoa. I am. What do you say? I feel like I'm going like that cereal downstairs. I feel like I'm going cocoa for cocoa buffs because I'm so happy of your fucking great job docking.

And Bruno's like, oh my god, magic word. Boom. Oh my god. Why did Bruno fall into a coma? I got scared because I thought they were burglars, but it turns out it was just a cookie-grisped guy and now I tired. I thought it was a wanted poster, but it was cereal box. So the cabin goes, maybe I should blindfold them so they can work in the dark out of the time. So in the bay, it's bedtime, everybody's sleeping. And Nico and the chef are bucking together.

And Nico's text again goes off. And his girlfriend, like, why didn't you call me last night? Why didn't you text me last night? And then the chef hears the buzz, so he checks his phone, and there's still nothing there. Yeah. And Nico's like, tomorrow then silence his phone and the chef's all sad rubbing his belly. Are dreaming of balloons and their knots. So

the next morning is a brand new fresh day. Bruno is training baker. Making her do like an endless squash. They can't get up now. No. Now. No. Deeper. Now. No, no, no deeper now I have Bruna been here for like 30 minutes bra, uh Bruma I'm getting tired. Oh, you're tired. I'm the oh false over his sleep He like maps on her squat so that now this time for the He like maps on her squat. So that now this time for the

she's like, can I stand up? No, you below now. He maps on her squat. So it's a charter meeting and we learned that Lee Twohy, Twahy, where I don't know how you say that name, Twok. Leanne. Leanne Twah, too. He the Blanc glance at lady. She's coming on board and Matt's like so happy.

He's like, I'd like it. You know, they're not pretentious foodies. They are like simple people that like simple food. They're not gonna be like, this is not existing, this is an immense dance, whatever. I'm like, you know what? You're a chef. You should be condescending to them right now.

You should be wanting to impress them and not be like, oh good, I can try it out my Caesar salad again. Yeah, wow, I get to make a mistake. That's exciting. And even the thing he uses to be, and also this guy's so nice, I feel bad for some reason bragging on this guy because he's so nice. But the thing that he uses is his example of snotty people. They're not going to go, oh, this lemon doesn't have an

obsessed in it. Yeah, really? That's your thing. Like lemon zest. It's like, you know what, you would have a right to talk like that. If you were consistently putting out amazing food and people were still nipping, but like, yeah, over, you undercooked your, your on the picking, but like, yeah, over, you undercooked your, your

Brussels sprout risotto, you overcooked that steak. And in the future, you will be making your horrific bananas foster the second time you made bananas foster, too, by the way. Yeah, with the wrong kind of ice cream. And then when someone complains about it, you say, well, no, but I have mint chocolate chip. How what what fucking world are you gonna pair mint chocolate chip with bananas or? I just I just want him to aspire beyond like cafeteria food at the Smithsonian you know. Well that made it very fancy actually the Smithsonian cafeteria. Well because I wanted it because it's still a yacht.

It wasn't, you know, I said this Smithsonian because when I went to DC, like four years ago, of course, I read up all the, like, where to eat in DC and they're like, well, actually, the, the commissary at the Native American Museum is quite good. And you can get some regional favorites as well. Some wonderful Native American cuisine I was like sweet. I'm gonna go there. I love Southwestern food I'm intrigued by a Native American cuisine. I would like to go there So I go all that she was overcooked and nasty

It wasn't like that wasn't like oh like Native American food is nasty. It was just like shitty cafeteria food I was like fuck this shit trying to be all fancy, but still cafeteria food. So that's why I went to the Smithsonian. It was a very specific reference in my experience. Well, I'll bet you even they had vanilla ice cream. You know what I did. I'm sure they did. Even everyone has vanilla ice cream.

Homeless shelters have vanilla ice cream. I love in this meeting when he's like, well, this lady's from the blind side. And everyone's like, um, what's that? He's like, I'm moving, you know, that movie and kick us that movie where they adopted somebody. Like, yes, it's Annie, okay. It's an auntie. Oh, is this about Jody Foster in the woods? Oh, is this about Jody Foster in the woods?

I wasn't like a humongous guy, okay. It's pretty it's a pretty specific poster. Got it Darrell Hanna. She's a mermaid. They bring her into the family. Got it. Love that movie also. So EJ deck meeting. He's like, guys, I want to have a meeting wanted to say beans are cool you guys are doing a great job Now look with me be in the main squeeze mr. Man huge beans right the boss right me go. Oh I mean me being boss. I don't know. I'm sorry. I I should speak in pig Latin me being boss and I'm sorry I I Should speak in pig Latin me being O sunbay if you know what I'm saying right Now that we're having this meeting here on my deck

Numpties a and you go get it call back below my deck Guys I want to talk about a little word called a teamwork. And teamwork. Yeah, go ahead. Teamwork makes you dream work. Niko's like, my dreams work on something else. Fine. Niko goes, you know, I know I crossed boundaries with the guy. I know I went too far when I told him chef stripes up his ass, but you know, it's just the way that he is. I can't stand the guy. Yeah, they got to EJ this pumping everyone going. Shhh! Like, Nico may have a point. Yeah, he's the worst. He's that guy who's always coming in with that positive attitude. He's like, guys, we're going to talk about productivity today!

To motivate all of you guys, I'm offering you up to tickets to Sugar Rade, whoever's the best worker. Five dollars off a.'s pizza visit. He has lineup. Who wants to see Smash Mouth tonight? I'm gonna smash his mouth there. So the guests, Leanne's like, uh, whoa! These people are as southern as they can be. She's like, whoa, look at you, chef person. I'm used to big people and woof! You can cook be. She's like, well, look at you, chef person. I'm used to big people. And woof, you can cook too. I'm like, yes, we know that you're in a movie

about adopting a huge person. Yeah. I can just, this is a lady who's going to make a reference to that time. A movie was written about her in every single scene she's in. And she does. Yeah. And it's exactly what she does.

I'm like, I'm surprised she wasn't like, wow., now I just want to warn everyone, I'm not into bullshit. Or as they say in England, Bollocks, which is sort of like that word, Bullock, oh, Sandy Bullock, Sandy, she's a friend of mine. Hey, sometimes you need to take the bull by the horn. For example, Bullock, Sandra, okay. What, at what point are we going to get up to full speed here? Speed. Remember that movie speed with Sandra Bullock? Oh, she's afraid to mind too. You know me. She loves me.

That Stevie Wonder, he is blind like the side of the blind side, which is a film about my own life starring. Miss Sandra Bullock. You know, I bet was wealthy at one point. It was off. So that's just alone, who's in that movie called Oscar. No one else wanted an Oscar. My movie. Yeah, pretty much this whole time.

So her whole family is kind of like that. And Kate's like, hmm. What? He's mermaid people seems to be very excited. Well, these are southerners like my family. Authentic spiritual, not preachy, classy, sassy, not snobby. Have I ever mentioned my family before? No, there's a reason. So, she's everyone's getting everything prepped for lunch or dinner whatever. And of course we cut to Matt.

It's like. Text xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Why do you want to get HHHG UI? Exactly, exactly, exactly. No, I didn't hear it so, it was just being your sound effect. Oh, I was trying to, I was texting and I was pulling up close to the mic so you could hear like that. But apparently my full leads did not work. I have a feeling a lot of them was that thing on the iPhone where you press the little draw button

and then you could draw a heart and send it and it shows you drawing the heart. I think a lot of them were like that, like, question mark draw. God, she's not even writing back my draws. To use those draws, I don't think anyone uses those. I do, I write little hearts to you all the time. Had to ask.

Like I said, who uses those? Who you? So Kate is getting everybody ready. She's like, oh, Jen, good. Who uses those? Who you? So Kate is getting everybody ready. She's like, oh, Jen, good. You're already doing the cheese plate. Jen's like, oh, Bri was doing the cheese plate. Because Jen was like, ehh, cabinets.

And Kate was like, all right, Jen, I need you to go down to the master. Start working in the master. Oh, Bri, you're already working. Look at you being proactive. That's a nice feature of your personality So Lisa so captain you drive the boat what are the little people do Like jeezly and and her friends like well People have different jobs for example that person pulls a rope and she's like what does she do do? Point and be Kate. And the friend like, she's in charge of service and she goes,

see these eight more. Leanne, you are really crazy for a bruising bitch. Yeah, be careful. Don't don't mess the wrongs, do. Yeah. Watch yourself. That woman is in charge of all of your carbs for this trip. Okay. So Kate goes into the kitchen, she's looking over the plan, the meal plan with the chef and he's like staring at his phone still. And you just see the annoyance start to rise in Kate. But she's like, I don't know what to do. I haven't yelled it in before and now just yelling at him in the middle of everything just seems wrong.

Like, you can't start by not yelling and then start yelling. You have to start by yelling and then stop yelling. Are we filming the season backwards? Maybe if I just pure at him from below the cabinets a few more times, I can work myself up to a yell relationship. So the guest check in and like, so what's the plan with the food and he's like well I'm gonna make you guys put on jellies and then afterwards. I'm gonna make a local bananas foster with some the local bananas. I'm like, okay You you already made bananas foster for some other people and second of all Local bananas foster is not any better than regular bananas. First of all, you light the rum on fire, okay? So like the local rum, I don't know if you're gonna have that much of a presence. And like local bananas, like, you're just making a very basic dessert. And I'm sure it's delicious, it's delicious in its own way.

The way up Brownie is delicious, but like don't try to guzzle it up. Yeah, he's like, I heard bananas fosters somewhere, huh? Like that was in your own head. So lunch, he's still checking his phone and Kite's like, hmm, so she's, they're all eating their lunch and she's like, I bet you $20, they say grace. Good Lord, bless this food, protect the people around us, bless these people and the people who can't be here right now,

body or spirit. Not making fun, just pointing out that that's generally how. Prayer goes. So. Okay, just serving. And the stuff. And typing, are you getting my texts? Yeah, that's something, you never want to send that as a text,

by the way way to an X Hey, are you getting my texts? Yeah I was more like I think that I think what you should be getting back is hey are you receiving my message of silence? Can you hear my deafening silence? sir So he serves the salad and they take it out to the people and I guess there's eggs on the salad or something because I guess it's her kid Oh, you know how many eggs they had to kill the Mike diet I didn't even hear that I just saw a very simple salad and I thought to myself

I'm sure it's a lovely salad But I know if I just got on the yacht I would want something more than that salad like they just looked It just looks like a basic salad with that eggplant on some chicken. I don't know, I just, that's something nicer. You know what I would like? I would like some food with some more speed, which is the film The Sandra Bullock was in before she was in the film about my life with one her and Oscar. Let me tell you something. I just demolished this play. You can call me demolition woman.

Sort of like that movie demolition man. Oh, you know Sandra Bullock was in that. I don't mean to be rude. You know, normally I'm misconcealty, which happens to be a film. But a good friend of mine was in. I'm saying bro. Listen, I was wondering could you guys do like a Hollywood party tonight? I'm gonna take a nap. You can set it up while I'm sleeping. Oh, you ever got a movie while you were sleeping? Sanjabal, because of it. Anyone else feel the need to trim someone else's eyebrows?

That always bothered me about that movie. That guy Peter Gallagher. He's so handsome, but God does eyebrows are so big. I just hope this yacht doesn't crash. Hey, my, my referring to the movie crash or speed to cruise control. I don't know. It's double sandy. How about we get through one meal before we start sequelizing it? Everybody everyone agree?

The film that Keanu killed. Okay. Man, this cocktail is good. I could fall in love with it It was just like love potion number nine. Oh, it's a sandy classic So let's see here at Kate that's all right, Ronnie you can keep on talking. I got nothing but time to kill all you ever said I'm gonna time to kill Wish him like don't wish him I wish him like John Grisham. So Kate is hating them, I think. She's not really showing it that much, but I feel like when Kate pulls out typing paper

to cut out bad stars and draw them with starpies, she's just kind of giving up on the guests. Yeah, yeah. And she's doing the bad stars that look almost like the Super Mario stars. She's like, well, proper, like Hollywood stars. I'm not wasting my seashells and sea stones on these idiots. So he's just like, I'll help you cut stars beans. And he's like cutting them out. And he goes, wow, aren't you going to cutting out stars?

And he goes, well, Rome wasn't built in a day. Okay. Make that rhyme and you're going gonna officially be married to Baker. Yeah, I appreciate that fact he just threw out a generic cliche. I had nothing to do anything. Well, you know, that's where the cookie crumbles. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon.

Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Anyway, while they're doing the stars, all the guests are out on their water toys, you know. You know, I love this sleep, I love the way it floats, you know, just like hope sometimes hope floats

Hope floats floats so hard only because she eats enough sandwiches. Did you hear me Kate? You know what I'm glad it's all of us because otherwise it just be one if I see you know, I'm saying Oh, you know, Santa was in that you son of a bitch you know what I just can't be outside I can't stand the heat speaking I think I've truly run out of central bullies at this point I don't think there any left God how long is lunch gonna take 28 days? So stupid. So let's see here.

Listen, listen. Everyone just enjoy this. All right, because you need to give a two week notice before we cancel to get our deposit. Two week notice. That reminds me of that movie. Oh my god, it's a fish getting it. Now listen. Now, did everyone listen to safety instructions? It's very important. You have to take them with a certain degree of gravity, okay? agree of gravity okay. Oh my god.

Listen, I want to say no, but I will say, y'all y'all sisterhood. They're like, that doesn't even make sense. Well listen, I've been through a lot of films, all right. Well listen, aren't you happy that you're in this y'all and said the lake house? So silly. Sorry about the pause, just weaving some of my practical magic.

So the lunch is late and she's getting really pissed off. And Matt is just doubt still tech. He's in his bunk still texting his girlfriend. And Kate's like, Matt, Matt, hmm, did he say where he was going? Matt, Matt, Kate, Matt. Well, I guess we will put some bread in the oven. and Kate's like, Matt, Matt, hmm. Did he say where he was going? Matt, Matt, Kate, Matt. Well, I guess we will put some bread in the oven. Hmm.

Hey, guess we'll just go ahead and do that. And we answer upstairs going, come on, both people. I also want to point out that during this time, pre-pass aggressive bread loading into the oven that Jen normally at night they change into a certain outfit but because Kate and Bri were so busy working they didn't have time to change so when Jen comes out in her outfit it's like no no no no we didn't have time to change so just change back to change back and

turns like change back into what? What we are huh, you see what I'm wearing? I just can't win. Oh. Oh. So anyway, while Matt is texting again, the guests are waiting, the breads and the oven, and now Kate is starting to get into full on, like, bitch mode, which is our favorite. She's like, it shouldn't be my job to make sure

the chef is doing his job. I mean, I shouldn't have to tell you, hey, we're on a yacht and guess what, I'd like to be fed. And then the husband, I'm assuming it's her husband, the big guy who's always got his arms crossed. He's like, oh man, I'm like, you can wait five minutes for a meal, sir, okay? So the chef finally shows up and Lee is like, I'm mad. I'm like, you can wait five minutes for a meal, sir. OK. So the chef finally shows up and Lee is like, well, it's

funny because Kate has given them all their Sharpie stars. And she's like, oh, this is like the Hollywood Walk of Fame, except you're all typing paper with Sharpies. Congratulations, you're nothing. Enjoy your lunch. And we didn't even bother to send center your names on a basic Microsoft Word document and print them out. We just wrote them. I'm going to pretend that these aren't the most

offensive play sentence I've ever had because I'm an actress. Am I the best actress? No, that is Sandra Bullock because she won that award after playing this you you're truly and Kate's like oh she won an Oscar for that Kate where the hell have you been I don't know I guess I was watching some Martian ivory movies was at the year that they said that someone else was robbed of the Oscar I can't remember I'm sorry I was very busy watching real movies like Awakening's, Amadeus, etc. Sense and sensibility two things that maybe you could look into You know what at this point I would settle for a sense or sensibility frankly ma'am

And Leanne's like uh, but that is rude and she goes, well, here's what I think. You should have won the Oscar. Leanne's like not even arguing with her, even though she could have. Well, she's right. She's right. The boat people are right. Siddlerwood could have him. I ride a academy. So, uh, after these four courses of bread or done we'll get some real food around here I don't know I Bout by ball I just

back for a moment Bout PIPLE I'm like let's let's let's let that boat people that last boat people really sink in guys Bobby I'm like let's let's let that boat people that last boat people really sink in guys But rule Well people I feel not yet made by a sandy bull look but could be possibly made if anyone gave my second laugh a chance on this book Let me see here what happens after this. Okay, they finally get their food and now it's time for dessert And he's made banana foster with chocolate ice cream which you know

It doesn't sound bad to me personally because I don't trust people who say things like lian. He says uh Hey chocolate ice cream Excuse me Are you American ma'am? Yeah, I don't know how I feel about this person right now. But to be fair, I, you know, even though bananas and chocolate do go well together, I don't want chocolate ice cream on my bananas foster. Can I just tell you I yelled so loud that Siri heard me and she typed out, hey, chocolate

ice cream, excuse me, are you American, ma'am? And then Siri said hi there Ronnie. Bitch I don't have Siri turned on. What did she what did she even do? You say it was sitting on my desk. Siri, Siri is like yes Sandra Bullock did win an Oscar in 2010 for that performance. We're surprised many. Oscar in 2010 for that performance, which surprised many. The Siri wiki just missing Sandy Bullocks. Siri's like, I mean, I guess we'll just overlook Marl Street in Julie and Julia. So we come upon this vanilla ice cream drama where he's like, what?

And then he suggests mint ice cream, mint chocolate chip and Kate's like, hmm. Okay. Now this is where we get the entire village to come together and put on a play. And you do fresh cream in the kitchen eight and we'll say it's fresh cream instead of ice cream. Um, you know what? If you were an asshole, I'd yell at him, but he's like a little Canadian puppy.

You just can't beat little Canadian puppies, okay? You know, it's bad when your stew is telling you how to fix your own blender. I mean, you're a chef. You should be able to jigger something out. I don't know. Well, you should have also checked for vanilla ice cream too. Yes, and also he's still texting while she's fixing the shit and she tells Brianna

Tell him here's your banana fosters with fresh vanilla cream just leave out the ice and he's like text text text. Did you get my message yet? Also, by the way, he's now messed up banana fosters twice. Okay, bananas foster. He's messed it up twice He's now messed up banana fosters twice. Okay, banana's foster. He's messed it up twice. Now, Leanne, of course, is like, oh, it's a great way, it's whipped cream. And then her husband's like, I want a vanilla and crosses his arms.

Now, I'm not gonna go on him because he is right to want vanilla. I mean, they asked for the banana's five. I would cross my arms. I would be pissed if I asked for vanilla and I got whipped cream. I just think this big guy is hilarious. He keeps crossing his arms and padding

He doesn't like every scene like every scene when he doesn't get something He's like, but I wanted it like you are a little too old for root assault calm it down over there Also, I don't know if you noticed it, but there were like a whole bunch of There were like a whole bunch of timestamps happening and There were like a whole bunch of timestamps happening and basically this whole process took place over like 25 minutes or half an hour I would be annoyed if I'm like waiting around and then I get like that, you know, yeah Yeah, I'm not yeah, I'm not gonna go out on him for that Believe it or not. I won't do it every week. Okay, go So let's see everyone goes to bed mad basically. Yeah. And then and Kate. Oh, yeah, go ahead.

No, it's okay. I'm just thinking. Yeah, I was just gonna go under the next thing for Kate's telling Jen. She's like, um, I'm sorry, but look at that. They showed the ball of it. She's like, that much is disgusting. I don't know if this is bananas faster or if a sea gold took a big old sheat. And then Matt like pokes his head in like I should say this he's like um, good not everyone. You're like uh yeah. Yeah. Baker's crazy. Bruno's he's tired sometimes. Yeah. DJ. Rump T. big picture. Yeah, he sure did. I like that mat is so nice to the Canadian that he doesn't even get matty-key, because you know Ben's had been poked his head and he'd be like, oh, okay, what's the problem?

Yo, why don't you make a banana sauce? You know what? How about next time you call it the third course, the seventh is there, and then we'll have a proper situation. How about next time you learn to serve, so I don't have to explain every goddamn thing with intellect that comes out of my kitchen. Alright, darling! Hey darling, why don't we talk about Dylan and how it's such a unique flavor? Okay, darling, maybe we can do that. I'll be with rabbit, bar. Yeah, every time Kate goes after chef, he's like, you know, she's right. Okay, you're definitely ready for marriage, sir.

Good luck getting that girl back. Yeah, exactly. So, um, so Matt finally gets through to Samantha, his ex, because she's finally like, hey, uh, I'll call you later. Or like, can we talk later? Like, can we, like, she's finally like, oh, God, you've sent me 50 text messages in the past hour and a half. And you asked me if I had a little ice cream

Which is really weird. I don't know what's going on. I'll call you so they talk and he's like hey, I just wanted to hear your voice I sort of miss you anyway. I've been jerking off a lot I'm gonna do I think but you so I think that's pretty romantic right anyway. Hope your blue not soon Well, don't untie it. Bye. I'm not fascinating. He's like, good night. Like you got one sentence in poor guy. He's so excited. He's like, she called me. She's like, you're running my iPhone battery into the ground. Please stop sending me notifications. So the next morning, Nico proved why he's still as a man, dear to my heart, because his version of flirting, because you know, on,

I'm below Jack, the only way you can flirt with girls is if you offer them food. So his version of flirting was to offer a brief a croissant. And she's like, I'm only gonna take it if it's chocolate, which is like, oh my God, I'm brief. And she was like, well, I wouldn't offer it to you if it weren't. I was like, the scene is so hot. Oh my God.

Bo-ner. Bo-ner. Bo-ner. So they do some more anchor stuff and the captain's like, whoa, I'm nodding at Baker. I don't even know what's going on right now. And then it's breakfast time, because you know the guest kind of suck

when everything's a meal, because now we're at breakfast. And Leon's like, like oh honey look at this But I just like I did for you every every morning Liam's one of those people who just says all those things she thinks are hilarious to waiters and we want her dad You know like yeah, well I cook like this myself at home or When the plate is empty and you're picking it up and like, well, hey, did it?

Oh, must've right didn't leave a drop on there. Yeah. Yeah, she does all of them. Yeah, she's got them all. She's like on a tour of every obnoxious fucking thing customers say to crack up the people who are waiters who are too stupid to have ever heard this stuff before. Yeah. So, uh, well, nothing could be what my dad said once. Because my dad is the king of doing those things. Um, but I think I've told the story on the podcast before, you know, it's been five years since we've been doing this, but why not just off the story again? There was one time, um,

when we went to a restaurant and my dad ordered like Penae Puganesca. And remember this story? Vagley, I remember you telling it, but I don't remember the good shit. Okay. Well, this is for all the new listeners. A lot of people have come on board since then. So my dad loves cracking a joke at like a restaurant. Just he's like classic Leanne to he, except Sandra Bullock never portrayed my dad but um So he ordered pete puttanesca and when we're leaving the restaurant the host says how is your dinner?

And my dad goes fit for a whore and the host was like what oh my god sir. I'm so sorry I'm really like what dad what he's like, you know Puttanesca, you know, means horror in Italian. So like, you know, fit for a horror. I'm like, Dad, he wasn't even a waiter. He had no idea that you ordered Penae Puccinesca. But like, why are you saying that that? And he was like cracking himself up for a horror. We're all like mortified. No, that's what I could totally get behind because it makes you think you know And it's it's not just a save old shit that they drag out over and over The worst is when a weight is like when you don't say that stuff to a waiter

They're confused like wait a minute You were supposed to say hey to do it because you didn't leave anything on then I was supposed to laugh and take it back to the kitchen Because when you don't say that stuff and you have an over-eager waiter they go How was that? Hey did it, huh? It's like okay, you've just taken the customer saying and reversed it and now you're basically calling me fat You fucking cut fitness get out of my face Yeah, that's no good

I was the it's funny it's so funny that we're talking about this because I was imagining if my dad were like on on below deck if I went with my family on to on below deck and Like that would be the end of my friendship with Kate like she would just hate me Well, your father just called me a horse so I Think it was because when Kate said when Kate referred to Leanne as Leanne I was like that. That's what made me think of it because my dad's whole thing is, if he's ever in a situation, like whether it's like a hotel or like a car dealership

when someone says, oh, what's your first name he always goes, Mr. Just not like they refer to it by his first name by his name. So if Kate ever called him Larry be a big problem. I like that your dad see upstate New York version of like down Mabbie. She is. He is.

So I was like, oh god. Like Kate would have to call him Mr. Mandelker and then she would hate me and make all sorts of comments in the galley. I'm going to be like, well, these keep a lot of worst. That's amazing. What's your name, Mr? Oh, he did it. He like every time, every time my dad, like, it comes time to like buy a new car, renew the lease, and go into like the car dealership, Hey, I'm I'm Chris car salesman. What's your name, Mr? Every single time. That's why I love that.

For a flex. He's he's scary. He can be real scary. He can got you can got anyone down. That's amazing. It's amazing. Well speaking of Let's have a telegate party. I have no idea how to do that, but I understand what a tail is, indicate is and also I'm not going to go on it. So Jen, take this gigantic jar of mayonnaise and have fun with your day. I'm going to be working on my star form because I'll be cutting stars still because even though they are stupid, I have standards and I refuse to cut stupid looking Super Mario stars.

I will never go back to those typing paper stars again. Okay, those. That that that that that that that that that that that that gosh darn it it gosh darn it Mario Those stars will now be referred to as the vanishing which yes I know was a film with Sandra Bullock to shut the fuck up. You stupid lady. I'm fucking kill myself I'm just counting my numbers now. Oh gosh So basically since it's a tailgate Kate's like Jen you can be the cheerleader

Rob Ross is cum get the fuck off my boat. I'm sick of looking at you. So they go over and they have like a super casual lunch and Jen decides it because she's a cheerleader. She's gonna change her outfit and we're literally beat. Literally. Yeah, but she doesn't have a cheerleading outfit.

So she just is wearing like kind of a casual swimsuit type outfit. Yeah. And the baker's like, well, what's she wearing? Everyone's like mortified that she's not in uniform. Yeah, she's wearing just like a crop top. Yeah. If not, she just uses that as an excuse to get out of her uniform. And then she comes out screaming after she changes. She goes, whoa, yay, Matt.

Or whoever she's talking to. Yeah, it's like running away. She's running away from all the guests, screaming and yelling now on the casual app. And everyone's like, what is this girl doing? Yeah, everyone's fully, fully confused. And Baker's like, well, that was the only girl in step-clad or in step team or whatever. So I'm going to cheer with her.

And that was surprising. She's the only wiker. I'm not expected Baker to go onto a step team. And she's pretty good at it, too, huh? When she performed. I got that. I mean, I don't really know, like, SAP, so I can't judge, but I thought it was was good Especially because Jen had no idea what she was doing and just stood behind her awkwardly going Well Jen was probably like oh I could do step also and she probably put out one of those little platforms was going up and down

Like really away and I'll change it up goes up a step and then like throws her leg out to the side in fact down God step class those were hell do you people still go to step class? I'm not sure I think Zumba Zumba is more of like the thing Oh, I hated those step classes my mom used to make me go to those with her Yes, because I was so fat. She's like, we are gonna have so much fun. Any we're gonna go to step class. I was like, fucking kill me, okay? And then I would leave step class not thin and I'd be like, what's the point of this? Like I thought it was supposed to work in like a minute. I still hate steps. I hate them. I always like to think that all exercise works in a minute. I'm like, I've done with working out with horse, my trainer, and I'm like, I'm fixed.

And then I look at myself in the mirror. I'm like, I've done with working out with Horace, my trainer, and I'm like, I'm fixed. And I'm like, then I look at myself in the mirror. I'm like, no. When can I look like Bruto? When? When? Probably not today, because I just chugged a starbucks frappuccino with whipped cream. Well, let's see here. Did you mention the starfish? This is this this one means how the starfish, by the way. Starfish showed up at the picnic. Starfish. Starfish. Oh my god. Look at the star.

Hey, little star. Do you want to make a film about my life too late? Her name was Sandy. So while the telegating picnic is happening where Matt is cooking up like burgers and hot dogs, which again, admittedly delicious, I love a grilled hot dog. Still, I question the sophistication level. But so then Matt makes his way back onto the yacht and and Kate's like, so Matt, rather than having another ice cream disaster, I was thinking that maybe we could think about dinner like at least an hour back at a time

What are you thinking? He's like looking at all their faces like Let's see wedge salad Me it's meatloaf chicken all like king. It's like a beautiful mind, but not and he's like Okay chicken all like king Lasagna Something I saw on the food network on Pioneer Woman. Yes. Okay, it's like, okay, look, I'm only saying this because I really like you and I like working with you. What happened last night? Were you tired? Do you need more sleep? Do you need the map right now? Do you need help? How can I help you? Just tell me what I could do. Are you happy to enjoy it here? Do you want to get fired? Should I try and get you fired? What do you want? Just tell me

what you want, Matt. And he's like, no, no, thanks for the advice. You know, Kate's right. And then she goes, okay, look, I really want you to pull out the stops tonight. Let's do some dots. Let's do some smears. Pull out the big guns. He's like, got it. Tonight will be turkey meatloaf. She just hysteria. Got him like, do you want me to pass judgment silently or with a caustic farm? So he's like, you know, Kate was

a kid. No, I don't like to hear it, but Kate's right. You know, I've been distracted and it's not I'm going to put all the stops. I'm like, dude, you said that last time also. Well, it's like he only pulls out all the stops when he gets in trouble. He's one of

the, you know, and he's only realizing he loves his girlfriend once he's made an ass out of himself drunk. It's, yeah, it's almost like having to be at rock bottom at all time so that you can make an effort in life, which I actually get and understand and empathize with or sympathize with, I mean. Yeah. So the tailgate crew comes back and Kate sees Jens out for the first time. She's like, huh? Huh? Huh?

So did she do that on purpose? She's like, am I dreaming? Is that normal? Anyways, I can't help but be reminded of another Sandra Bullock movie called Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I just saw another Sandra Bullock movie from 1988 for the chef. It's called Making Sandwiches. Okay?

Let's make a little more effort next time, sir. So basically she gets mad and Brianna, who's, I guess trying to come off as like the positive poly, you know, polyanna or whatever, but she's pretty on. I don't really know that she's a positive one, but she's like, maybe she was just trying to be in character. And Kate's like, well, I would believe that if she'd look like an actual cheerleader. And Kate's like, well, I would believe that if she'd look like an actual cheerleader. She looked like a mall gore instead. So for revenge, she makes Jen be the mascot of the boat. So the captain is having dinner with Leigh Ann. Well, so first though, so Matt is now part is gonna step up things for this dinner.

And so Matt has decided he's going to, in an effort to step things up, he's gonna make cheesecake two ways. And he's telling us to Bruno, and he was like, so how many ways you going, how many ways you going to make the cheesecake? He's like two ways. He was like, whoa.

That's like, first I'm gonna to roll one in like white chocolate. And I'm going to roll a cheesecake ball in dark chocolate. But I was like, whoa. White. Oh. You should call these most dire. Doug with so many things you have to do to the balls. Whoa.

That's exciting. And the answer is a really good job on those walls. Kids, I'd like to say this is the best dinner you've ever done. And those balls, wow, sir. Great job outsourcing your creativity. So I'm Bruno's like, yeah, my mom make dessert when I was kid and teach me how to make dessert too. But now I tired so I don't do dessert. And he looks so happy making the dessert. I think he was just

space in the world Bruno. No one I know. Although it is hard to not resent a dessert chef with abs like that. Yeah. Yeah. Or I resent I resent any pastry chef who could need dough on his own abs. Yeah. Well, the dough is clean now, I'm tired. So Kate's like, um, Captain Lee, I was wondering if you would like to join the guests for dinner. And he's like, yeah, surely would, yeah. I'm like, the only reason why she's doing it and inviting Captain Lee to dinner is that way she can fully, fully, fully embarrass Jen. Dress her up and parade her from not just the guests, but also Captain Lee to dinner is that way she can fully fully fully embarrassed Jen dress her up and parade her from not just the guest but also

Captain Lee. So I would like to announce a very special guest for dinner. Sandra Bullock. No. The Prince of Egypt. That's another Sandra Bullock movie. Nope. The captain. Oh, the guy who drives the boat? Yes. All right. Well, hello. What a pleasure. So let me ask you, Leanne. This film, how to come about?

Look, oh. Well, Glad Leanne gets a chance to tell this story. Yeah. So meanwhile, Kate starts dressing Genop as the yacht mascot, and she's basically putting her in all of Baker's clothing, because of course Baker brought on sneakers that light up in two different colors and a crazy visor. Well, when you're brought the knife around,

sometimes you got it in the middle of the night, you can't see. I'm here for Baker. And then so part of the cost of it, oh, part of the cost of it involves Jen having to put on a live preserver. So Jen, so okay, so come on, you got to hurry up, you got to get a costume and Jenkins Jen's like, Oh, done.

I can't figure this out. She's like, nying at the live preserver, and kids like, well, I'm glad this isn't an actual emergency because then you'd probably be dead by now. How does it work? She's like stepping her foot through the live preserver. No, it's a vast. It's a vast. So funny, poor and Jen, you know, it's like, I like I get she's like this is embarrassing which yes It is but you're also like holding the spray bottle of bleach backwards, you know what I mean? Like it's all embarrassing so she goes out and everybody loves it and she's kind of mad at Kate later And she's like well my mom is the last to know so whatever she's what do you mean? It was great. Everybody loved it.

She's like, wow, whatever. Another didn't. I get so mad when she sasses me because I'm trying to say thank you. Thank you for letting me abuse you in such a fun, ridiculous cartoonish way. Now, fill this with more juice. Don't do this right now. I'm tapping out. I'm just saying, yeah! If you don't do this right now, I'm tapping out. Ehh! Well, if you don't know how to do this by the 5th Charter, I'm done. Good night. Figure it out.

Just like, ah, fine. And she goes to pour the orange juice and totally misses the craft. It's so hard! I know she met pour the orange juice in it. It's so hard! I know she met Porthy Arge's Indian. I thought she just met Hull this in one hand, Porthy Arge used in the other hand, and suddenly the land in each other. Oh my god. And that brings us to the end of the Plo Day, but we have. But now, since it's Friday, we get to do Crappens mailbag. We just see the way I wrote it, Crappens mailbag, and before you could say it was the end of the podcast episode, you were like,

well, is the end of the podcast, I said, hello, below deck right, happened. I'll see for the past, like, probably 90 seconds, I was like, okay, got a time. It's just right got a time. It's just right Gotta get that blood Get in the mailbag before he forgets Okay, so the crap is mailbag is where everyone Who supports the podcast on patreon at the mailbag level and above can Write in questions and we're gonna answer them on the air. So you go to patreon.com slash

watch crapens and you see all the details there and how you can do that. So here we have something from Sue Vlaki. Sue Vlaki says, hi Ben and Ronnie, which OC housewife do you think would be most likely to be recruited by our cult? Which would, who, which would start a cult? Which would accidentally join a cult and not know it? How about New York or Mona Altrui? Okay.

So basically, who is most likely to be recruited by our cult and who is most likely to start a cult? Rina definitely the most to be recruited by a cult because Rina is the one where you just say, you're mad at her And then you point her towards that person and she's like how dare you You're like no now you're mad at her. She's like okay. You are trash or whatever So I think Rina is definitely the one who would join a cult for sure and she would do it like She'd be proud of it. She'd be like listen. I'll do anything. I'll try anything. I'm hustling baby

I hustle okay, you want me to be in your cult show? Fine. She'd be like, listen, I'll do anything. I'll try anything. I'm a hustler, baby. I hustle, okay? You want me to be in your cult show? Fine, I'll be in the cult. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, second of all, Doreet would be like, Oh, I thought it was a designer series. I came here to look at dresses turns out I'm now worshipping envelopes. Doreet would be the one to join a cult, but then also bring it down from the inside. She'd be like, I was all into this co all into this cult until they asked me to drink some Kool-aid There's so much sugar in the kool-aid

Like the only woman makes you have Okay, do you want to try this kool-aid? Is that a watch or this kool-aid? Hello people of however you want to try this kool-aid? It's like no, it's like when Homer Simpson joined the stone cutters. He ruined them Hmm, I think in terms of who would start a cult, that is interesting. Who would I think would start a cult because everyone's just too afraid not to be in her cult. She'd be like, what, what, it's like Scientology. It's got science in it. What are you dumb? What are you

dumb? You don't want to do it. There'd be like Scientology signs behind her head in every single scene. I mean, Jesus Christ, she'll brainwash your ass just with product placement alone. every single scene. I mean, Jesus Christ, she'll brainwash your ass just with product placement alone. I almost feel like Deandre would start a cult just to piss off her mom. I'd be like a very bossy cult. It'd be like, it'd be something like, all right, all right. So here's what we do. Okay, we're from now on. We're gonna be worshiping goats. You're gonna pay me money. We're gonna worship the goats. Okay, that's it. I don't want to hear anything. Okay. I don't want to hear about what you used to believe in. Okay, you're here now. Okay, you believe here. You belong here. Okay, you're wearing robes. Everyone wearing robes That's how I want it. What is the problem with you? Why are you not wearing your robe? Where you're rubbed right now?

I'm sorry mother, but this is what I'm doing right now. We are not gonna pray backwards with the effort in my house coats I like this question. I really like thinking about who would join a cult or who would start one I like this question. I really like thinking about who would join a cult or who would start one. Who would accidentally join one and not know it? That'll be Cameron for sure. This cult is not my cup of tea. Dumb cultists worship goats smart Coltis worship everything I'm not wearing that robe I'm waiting for my starship to save me so I'm putting on Nike's We're gonna make people think that we're a cult, but in the end we're just gonna be a cult.

Try some. We're gonna tell people we're religion, but secretly we're a cult. I'm going to the Penga Canyon. Apparently I've got to meet this actress up in the hills. I'm really excited for what's gonna happen next What else is in that male bag honey? Well this one is from Shavan O'Brien. Yeah, yeah, see a bomb. She said so Shavan has been in the hospital

Shavan we'd love you on So she says so being in the hospital. Shavan, we love you. Shavan. So she says, so being in the hospital, plus the Blow Deck marathon, I think you know where this is going. I actually don't, but I'm excited to hear what's going. If the Blow Deck crew worked out a hospital where they would, where, where would they be on the staff? Obviously, rapidly would be the chief of staff. God dammit.

Feel free to use from other seasons. So if let's say below deck, those people were all working in a hospital, who would do what? Well, first off, that's one of the most terrifying things. We've ever been asked because

they don't really like look at the resumes. Just like, have you look, you look like you're hilarious. So why don't really like look at the resumes. They're just like, you look, you look like you're hilarious. So why don't you work in this hospital? I think that Bruno would clearly be the anesthesiologist, but they'd like come real the patient in on the gurney. And I'm like, Oh, Bruno, you have to get off the operating cable. I know, but I tire.

If you like, I'm giving you an anesthesia to feel it. I feel it. I'm tired. You mind if I sleep here with you? No, stop giving yourself the anesthesia. But I'm tired. I think I think I think a baker would be the candy stripper stripper. What are they call it? Candy stripper, right? Hey, candy. Matt would be the one without vanilla ice cream after your surgery.

You'd be like, sorry, sorry that your stitches hurt, but I'm out of vanilla. Yeah, it'd be like, ugh, this hospital food is so, so plain. It's like a chef didn't even try. Are you supposed to be having applesauce? Yeah, funny about the applesauce. Turns out we don't have apples so here is some whipped cream instead K would just be at earth in like a hilarious way like um, so you should really be going to sleep now I'll check in on you, but please stop pressing that button because I know you're not dying and I'm not gonna give you more morphine. Okay, thanks.

Okay, thanks. Look, I put some stars up and some pebbles on your little bedside tray because you're never too sick to have a good table skate. I've cut out a star for you with your own skin. I've cut out a star for you with your own skin. Do you put back on your own skin? And I've drawn Sandra Bullock's name on with a Sharpie, so... Yeah. Alright, well let's close up that mail bag shall we? Please.

Alright, Ronny. Do you read it every day? We're put on the Earth to do. Send us off into the weekend. Everybody, we love you so much. This has been such a fun week here. Watch what crap ends. Thank you so much for being here.

Come see us in San Francisco. November 4th, get those tickets. Find a link over at watchwhatc is calm and we will be covering real housewives of New Jersey for that show so it's gonna be lots of siggy yelling it's gonna be some really good times come we're gonna have so much fun go check out our top chef bonus episode this week it was really a great time and we will talk to you next week bye everyone Sweet! Hi, everyone! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.